Introspection: Spring 2021 by Generasian

INTROSPECTION

GENERASIAN

SPRING

2021

LETTER

CONTENTS

FROM THE EDITORS Dear Readers, EXECUTIVE STAFF

Co-Presidents Morgan Kuin Cheryl Man Editors-in-Chief Kathy Park Chanel Pulido Deputy Editorin-Chief Zoe de Leon Secretary Naomi Chou Deputy Secretary Alex Tran Treasurer Chelsea Kwak Deputy Treasurer Ellen Liu Marketing Director Chelsea Li Deputy Marketing Director Victoria Ng

Art Editor Cindy Qiang Deputy Art Editor Joanna Feng Blog Editors Candice Chiang Phoebe Chuang Deputy Blog Editors Michael Lo Jihoon Yang Media Editors Kelly Sheng Marva Shi Deputy Media Editor Caitlin Chien Layout Editors Marva Shi Thea Wang

Welcome to the Spring 2021 issue of the Generasian Magazine. As we continue to weather through this pandemic, the exponential increase in AntiAsian hate crimes in the past year have put a significant strain on our community’s mental health and well being. As a publication, Generasian recognizes a need to stand in solidarity with all AAPI+ communities and use our platform to stand against racism

cover art

letter from the editors and staff/credits

and hate now more than ever. Please refer to page 32 for a list of resources and guides on ways to support the AAPI+ community.

P O LI T I C S A N D C U R R E N T E V E N T S

Under the theme of introspection, our writers and artists reflect on these issues and their own experiences as young Asians and Asian Americans in various ways. Through creative, personal, and analytical approaches, they have contributed to the discussion of the complexities of Asian identity and what it means to be Asian in this world right

now.

mediums

artwork

blog highlight

social media highlight

media/podcast highlight

meet the eboard

This marks another semester of our digital-only launch. Yet, we are extremely proud and grateful for the contributions of our writers and artists in this issue. From wherever

Alice La

readers can themselves begin to process and heal from the pain many of us felt and shared this past year.

Julia Kim

Thank you for your continued readership and support. We’re looking forward to the

Layout Kunga Divie Alex Gutierrez Julia Kim Victoria Ng Marva Shi Thea Wang

Artists Julia Kim Hana Pak Jina Shi Angela Zhai Kai Zheng

time when we can all be together again. Stay safe and healthy.

Sincerely, Your Editors

Kathy Park

Chanel Pulido

H I S TO RY A N D CO N T E MP O R A RY C U LT U R E

artwork

new century, same problem: the undying nature of yellow peril in the united states

cover art: washing series (2021) Jina Shi Photography

Olia Zhang

moment, and we sincerely hope that by engaging with these valuable perspectives, our

why i learned english

Michael Lo

her story: how nyc asian american sexual assault victims found support through social media

a form of outlet for our writers and artists to process and reckon with the present

19 22

voices as well as uplift those of others in our community. These pieces have also been

P E R S O N A L E SSAYS AND POE TRY

the complexities of the east asian story artwork

This semester’s contributors have felt a strong need to speak up and share their own

in the world you are reading this, we hope that you also find the time for introspection. CONTRIBUTORS

Writers Amy Dai Ting Shing Koh Alice La Michael Lo LeAnn Mai Olia Zhang

Jina Shi

she Ting Shing Koh

LeAnn Mai

Angela Zhai

Amy Dai

The washing series started with dumping old Polaroid photographs I had taken or come to acquire into my bathroom sink, and washing away the black water that started leaking from the film. This was a way for me to process and sit with the uncomfortable emotions of endings, yet celebrate the lessons and memories that have emerged with time.

CHECK OUT OUR BLOG: generasian.blog

artwork Kai Zheng

READ THIS ISSUE ONLINE: issuu.com/generasian

Disclaimer: 2 Letter from the Editors

This publication is published by students at New York University and NYU is not responsible for its contents.

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generasian.blog

Table of Contents 3

history is a subject that is meant

this category: colorful images adorned with

that I will return to Asia. The nations of

to be read, understood, and

political phrases still are very commonly

East Asia are rising quickly, soon poised

memorized, this interdisciplinary

found both in the countryside and the cities.

to be new world superpowers and making

approach

Yet, Chinese propaganda is not about this

the region the new center of economic and

supposed “brainwashing” of its citizens;

social activity. In the last forty years, not

holistic sense of appreciation

rather, it is there to keep law and order,

only has China made significant progress

built.

establish a sense of national and cultural

toward eradicating poverty³ and invested

Despite my love for East

unity, and provide the people with a common

billions in infrastructure, but it has also

Asian Studies, its focus toward

vision for the nation’s future. While China

become the world’s largest trading nation

a specific region is certainly

is very open regarding its propaganda

and soon the world’s largest economy. As

different

conventional

use, American propaganda covertly exists

East Asia continually rises to prominence,

history majors. In my East Asian

throughout its media¹, hidden under the

being

Revolutions class, we discussed

guise of being fair and reliable news sources

within the region becomes vital for anyone

toward

Studies

THE COMPLEXITIES

has

how

East

given

cultures

from

Asian me

are

how the current political situation in East Asia is so complex that only a deep investigation into

OF THE EAST ASIAN STORY

each nation’s history can give new insights into the subject. For example,Why do China, Korea, and Japan have many areas of political tension despite being connected

geography

and

sharing many common religious

By: Michael Lo

Water reflection of Kinkaku-ji Temple a sunny day, Kyoto, Japan. Image courtesy of Basile Morin

and

ethnic

traditions?

does

modern

As East Asia continually rises to prominence, being educated about the happenings within the region becomes vital for anyone wishing to separate fact from fiction.

educated

about

the

happenings

wishing to separate fact from fiction. Thus, choosing East Asian Studies has given me a wealth of knowledge that is more relevant than ever in understanding our world today. Now, talking to my father over the phone, I am as well versed in Chinese history and culture as he is. While he is certainly impressed about how much I have learned, he stresses the comprehensive nature of my studies: history is only a fraction of that

Why

to continuously slander and criticize China.

education. To fully understand a society, he

promote

For example, there has been a recent rise of

reasons, I must live in it and learn through

policies of national unity while

anti-Asian hate crimes as people have been

experience. While I remain in New York to

constantly

Western

targeting Asians as if China and those who

complete what’s left of my college education,

attempts to assimilate China into Western

they presume are Chinese are to blame for the

I very much look forward to the day when I

culture? The answers to these questions (as

pandemic. Yet, years and years of newspaper

can return to China. There, my extensive

China

rejecting

I’ve always been a big history buff. I

it had to be something I’d be really interested

the building of present-day culture. Thus,

well as many other ones regarding current

and magazine articles and opinions targeting

knowledge of East Asia will be put to good use.

vividly remember being on my high school’s

in! What would the point of college be if I

I have analyzed history through multiple

events) are rooted in history: throughout

China have already planted the seed of

Michael is a sophomore at CAS majoring in East Asian

Quiz Bowl team because I could memorize

studied just to get a job that made me feel

mediums

fiction,

their centuries of existence, these nations

unfavorability toward China: the pandemic

Studies. Living in New York with a fluffy yet chubby cat, he

thousands of historical peoples and events

miserable and bored all the time? Given my

nonfiction, movies, music, television, and

have been allies as well as enemies, partners

simply converted those feelings into action².

and recite them at any given time. I was

cultural and ethnic background and my love

art. Taking courses in East Asian Studies has

in trade as well as bastions of isolation. With

Whereas I am still unsure about what I

particularly fond of studying the history

of history, going with East Asian Studies—

taught me not only to be a better scholar, but

the coming of the 20th century and the arrival

ant to do after college, I am almost certain

of China, my nation of birth and the place

an amalgamation of East Asian history,

also a better thinker and researcher of the

of powerful foreign empires into the region,

I call home. My father, a man with a vast

tradition, society, language, politics, and

humanities. Given that East Asian Studies

these three nations were forced to choose

understanding of all things about China,

culture—ultimately felt like the right choice.

is such a broad subject encompassing many

between accepting or rejecting imperialism.

always encouraged me to read and learn more

I remember the first course in East

different nations and topics, it’s important

Whereas South Korea and Japan drifted

about my nation and my people. While he is

Asian Studies that I took: Chinese and

to study the pieces that comprise what we

toward

a businessman and not a historian, he uses

Japanese traditions. With a focus on religion,

call culture, understanding that these topics

China

his knowledge of China to aid him in making

philosophy,

the

intertwine and create a balanced method of

imposition, especially from the United States.

business-related

literature,

including

accepting has

American

persistently

approach to the study. By analyzing different

Thus, the current conflicts between the

cultures of East Asia. Despite my intense

types and mediums of work, I’ve developed

United States and China are unsurprising:

in my own country. When I decided that I was

dislike for religion and centuries-old texts,

how

as China rises under strong leadership

sure to live in China in the future, I resolved

the course helped me learn an important

each is important in their own way. Whereas

and determined economic pursuits, the

to not be that foreigner among compatriots.

lesson: when studying the culture of a

When I decided that I was sure to live in China in the future, I resolved to not be that foreigner among compatriots.

Whereas history is a subject that is meant to be read, understood, and memorized, this interdisciplinary approach toward East Asian Studies has given me a holistic sense of appreciation of how cultures are built.

United States is doing everything possible

region or country, every small detail ties

freshmen

entering

in to that study. For example, reading Confucian texts helped me understand why the people of East Asia tend to respect their elders and defer to authority, as people are more willing to follow the words of the wise.

their

To neglect creative works (e.g.fiction and

first semester at NYU, I had a difficult time

film) because they are not traditional sources

deciding which major to pursue. After all, I’d

to learn history from would be to ignore

have to take those courses for four years, so

how these various mediums all contribute to

4 Politics and Current Events

understanding

solution for shedding season. Image courtesy of Kremlin.ru

foreign

course was an introduction to two major

comprehensive

has recently discovered that having a Roomba is a perfect

influences,

refused

this

other

Without

ancient

genres

knowledge, he reasoned, I would be a foreigner

decisions.

and

to resist China’s new prominence. This highlights the complexity of the histories and cultures of the East Asian region. One

particular

area

interest

mine in East Asian Studies is the study of propaganda—how

governments

convey

their choice of information to its citizens. Evidently, China leads the world by far in 1 https://news.cgtn.com/news/2019-10-17/Graphics-Ending-China-s-poverty-by-2020-KREfWKGkIU/index.html 2 https://news.cgtn.com/news/2021-02-06/Fact-Check-Lies-on-Xinjiang-related-issues-vs-the-truth-XEFuvz6b84/index.html 3 https://news.cgtn.com/news/2020-04-06/Behind-the-U-S-forced-labor-propaganda-on-Xinjiang-PtoLJWdN4I/index.html

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generasian.blog

The Complexities of the East Asian Story 5

JULIA Julia Kim is a sophomore at Tandon studying Integrated Digital Media. She enjoys digital art and design.

KIM

LEFT TO RIGHT, TOP TO BOTTOM: FINDING ME, a look into how my procrastination affects me DU FILM, a tree inspired by one I once saw in a film during French class COVID SAFE CIRCLE PARTY, my love for line and illusion drawings continues DRAGON: inspired by Spirited Away FANNING: a Korean Fan from my childhood, but digitized for forever keeping

6 Politics and Current Events

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generasian.blog

Artwork by Julia Kim 7

An opened condom. Image courtesy of Charles Deluvio.

HOW NYC HER AS I A N ERICAN M A STORY SEXUA L ASSAULT VICTIMS FOUND SUPPORT THROUGH By: Alice La

been waiting to be told and simply needed

that this boy was unmistakably average. And

a little momentum. Unwanted behaviors

it confounded me to no end that this average

are too often passed by as insignificant or

kid could sit there visibly unconcerned

“boys being boys,” but the pain felt by the

while my friend was struggling to cope with

girls who made these posts was undeniable.

the lasting trauma he had inflicted on her.

Among the girls who posted their stories

To begin thinking about what happened,

was Isobel, a close friend of mine. From my

it’s crucial to define what sexual assault is.

experiences growing up in NYC and having

Sexual assault refers to any type of sexual

to commute on the subway every day, I’ve

contact a person engages in without the

had many personal encounters with sexual

other person’s consent or though coercion.

assault, so it hit me hard when I heard Isobel’s

This includes but is not limited to rape,

story. Despite having supported her during

non-consensual sexual touching, and forced

the aftermath of the situation, she never told

kissing. It’s important to remember that

me the specifics of what took place, and I felt

consent can be withdrawn at any point in

a strange mix of frustration and pride when

time during an activity, is only valid when

I read her Instagram post. I was proud that

both parties know what they’re consenting

she found the strength to share a traumatic

to, and that consent given for an activity

experience in hopes of raising awareness

does not mean that consent is automatically

and supporting other sexual assault victims,

given for the same activity in the future. The

but I was also frustrated by the lack of

boundaries that define sexual assault are not

accountability from the perpetrator and how ingrained rape culture was within our society. I had always known that a guy had caused Isobel a lot of pain, but it wasn’t until she shared her story on social media that I realized what occurred had been nonconsensual. I still remember the day I walked down my school hallway and saw Isobel crouched against the wall, in a fetal position. She told

SOCIAL MEDIA

“[People think of] rape [as being] violent assault where there’s visible trauma, and that’s not what most of the rapes that have occurred look like.”

me bits and pieces about a guy she had met

subjective and do not change no matter what

and the way that things had happened too

type of relationship you’re in. Just because

quickly. She couldn’t remember the exact

someone is your romantic partner, it doesn’t

details, but looking back on it now, her body

negate the need for consent from both parties.

seemed to recollect every single word, touch,

A lot of survivors mentioned that they

and taste that had been exchanged that night.

only realized the extent of what they went

Every time she bent her legs, every time she

through after the assaults had happened.

shifted her weight, I could see her face grow a

Isobel shares that one of the reasons she was

little paler as if the weight of the boy was still

first inspired to speak out is because “not a lot

crushing her, draining the air from her lungs.

of girls are really taught about all the ways that

At the time, I thought that their night together

you can be taken advantage of that isn’t just

he wouldn’t have to look too long at the

pain would slowly set in within the next couple

had simply been an unpleasant experience,

blatant and outright. [People think of] rape

Trigger Warning: Sexual assault

consequences of his actions. When she

of days and stick with her for the next few

and I never could have imagined that she had

[as being] violent assault where there’s visible

Names used in the piece have been changed to protect the subjects’ privacy.

checked her phone it was 11 pm, and the

years of her life, festering beneath the surface.

gone through such a traumatic experience.

trauma, and that’s not what most of the rapes

time was illuminated over multiple missed

During the height of the pandemic

My first actual encounter with Isobel’s

that have occurred look like.” She continued,

“A lot of things aren’t legal–doesn’t mean it’s bad.”

calls and messages from her dad. Shit. It

social media posed as an avenue for powerful

perpetrator was anticlimactic. It was at a

“There’s a lot of non-believers who think that

“After I raped her I almost went to the cops.”

was okay though, she would get home soon.

movements to bring attention to issues that

community service meeting for a group

if your body responds to the assault, you’re

She put a playlist on repeat to drown out the

have long pervaded society. From June to

called the Youth Community Project Team,

enjoying it and therefore you’re not being

conversations of the boys who were sitting

August of 2020 there was a sudden increase

a domestic violence advocacy group, and we

raped…This is really harmful because that’s

uncomfortably close despite the empty bus

in sexual assault allegations, posted by the

were gathered around the table discussing

not always the case. Because of this [idea]...,

– Various Perpetrators of Sexual Assault of NYC High School and College Girls She could feel him pressed against her,

someone else being dragged to the Dunkin

and closed her eyes as she waited for her stop.

victims within my community of NYC students

the topic of sexual assault. I almost missed

a lot of girls whose bodies respond to the

his breath hanging heavy around her neck

Donuts around the corner, her body shaking

As soon as the bus came to a halt, she sprinted

on Instagram. Then, people began reposting

him when I was looking around the room

stimulation are mentally destroyed because

as a train rumbled by overhead. His hands

as the bathroom door slammed closed behind

out the door, running down the dim sidewalk.

these stories. Soon my feed was flooded with

because all the photos Isobel had shown me

[their perpetrators] think that they are

forcefully moved underneath her clothes

them. He drew in close and she closed her

She looked back once, saw the boys trailing

posts that raised the voices of survivors and

were angled to show the better half of his

enjoying it. And that’s not what happened.”

and she was immobile, pinned against the

eyes, terribly alone despite the sound of coffee

behind her, and ran even faster. She pounded

held the perpetrators accountable. Sexual

face. But when I finally did notice him sitting

concrete wall. “I have to go home. My dad’s

being brewed just on the other side of the wall.

towards her house so quickly that her frantic

assault

there smiling, I just felt confused. He didn’t

her story after seeing other girls coming out

waiting for me- I have to go home.” She said,

always within

remained

despite

Isobel was first inspired to share

When it was over, he quickly put

heartbeat numbed the pain imprinted inside

unresolved

the

look particularly attractive or exude any sort

about their sexual assaults on Instagram. At

her on a bus and walked away. No goodnight

of her body. She did make it home, but so much

frequency with which it occurs, indicating

of charm. He blended in with the rest of the

first she found them hard to read because

felt like she was outside of her body, watching

or farewell, just a brisk departure so that

was still unprocessed and unresolved. The

that the stories shared may have always

high school students, and I had the realization

of the bad memories they brought up, but

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society

relatively

only to have her words dissipate in the air. She

8 Politics and Current Events

has

generasian.blog

Her Story: How NYC Asian American Sexual Assault Victims Found Support Through Social Media 9

incidents of sexual assault. Due to a lack of resources provided by institutions combined with the expectation that women stay silent

Illustration of social media text bubbles.

about the problems they face, the numbers

Image courtesy of Naomi Ushiyama.

of reported incidents of sexual assault and intimate partner violence within the Asian

both stem from coercive behavior that

don’t hold as much power over the victims.

seemed to blur the boundaries of consent. Despite being publicly called out by

With

modern

technological

community

are

much

lower

than other ethnic groups. This inaccurate

multiple girls on completely different accounts

perpetrators’ names and actions within a

representation of the real violence that occurs

for sexual assault, the perpetrator never

community they identify with allows viewers

on a constant basis shows just how important

deemed the situation worthy of an apology.

to raise awareness. The #metoo movement

it is for people to speak out about their sexual

He posted a picture on snapchat saying

is generally associated with public figures,

assault stories. Asian American girls are often

that he’d “fucked up” and went to college,

but

events

objectified and stereotyped to be quiet and

detaching

allegations.

mentioned in the posts last summer involved

submissive by the white patriarchal gaze,

Objectively, it might look like the Instagram

ordinary teenagers. Members of the NYC

making it even harder for Asian women who

posts shared last summer were unsuccessful,

Asian American community recognized the

have experienced sexual assault to speak out.

but the community interaction the posts

schools, churches, and people cited in the

Reflecting on how she felt after reading

garnered

movement.

sexual assault allegations and felt increased

the responses to her story, Isobel said, “I

further

from

spread

the

simply

American

publicizing

himself

advancements,

This inaccurate representation of the real violence that occurs on a constant basis shows just how important it is for people to speak out about their sexual assault stories.

names,

locations,

and

As Asian American women, the survivors

responsibility to take action. Instagram story

was so happy, like everyone was being so

who posted their sexual assault experiences

highlights were flooded with reposts uplifting

supportive and empathetic, I just started

are part of minority communities that have

survivor voices while others commented on

crying. People that I didn’t even know were

“One night he started asking me

except me, he laughed with everyone except

been historically misrepresented by media

the posts with supportive messages. Many

messaging me telling me how sorry they

for pictures of myself without clothes

me. He made me feel like I was a loner, that

platforms run by white, heterosexual males.

tagged the Instagram handles of figures

were and that they hoped [the perpetrator]

on and he was really pushing for them.

I wasn’t a part of the group.” Isobel was on

When stories of sexual assault are spread

such as the NYPD, dating apps that allowed

would get what they deserved. It was just

I was really uncomfortable but I didn’t

her period that day and her stomach began

offline, they’re rarely from the survivors

unsolicited

really

say no because this was the first guy

to cramp, to which the perpetrator told her

themselves and travel in the form of rumors

schools

after taking a short break, she logged on

that’s ever shown any interest in me. So I

to “smoke a little bit, it won’t hurt anymore.”

and second-hand accounts fraught with

again after being told by a friend that there

sent him the pictures and we agreed to meet

She ended up taking a few hits but quickly

was a girl who spoke out about the same

up the next day and had sexual intercourse.”

stopped and texted her dad for a ride home.

perpetrator that had assaulted her in the past.

Their first time having sex was on a

As she was walking towards her dad’s car,

Isobel’s relationship with the perpetrator

Sunday inside a public bathroom, and after

the perpetrator suddenly offered to escort her

first began when she was 15 years old. He

they were done the guy immediately kicked

there since it wasn’t safe for girls to walk alone.

requested to follow her on Instagram and

her out. “He was like, you have to leave now,

“So we crossed the street and underneath

she eventually accepted after looking over

the service is going to be over soon. So I left

the Long Island Railroad station there’s a

some of his Instagram posts. From then on

and he texted me that this was a mistake and

bridge underneath. He pushed me against the

they became Snapchat friends, and after

can’t happen again. I was really hurt by that,

concrete wall, kissing me and groping me. And

starting a streak he asked if they could meet

and I started crying and walking and not

he wouldn’t let me go even after I told him

up. Isobel was hesitant at first because she

knowing where I was going,” Isobel recalls.

didn’t know who he was and didn’t know how

“I thought that would be the end of it but

she felt about meeting up with him, but she

he introduced me to a friend who I became

eventually gave in because “you know, he was

kind of close to, and we made plans to meet

really pushy about this.” At his insistence,

interactions,

perpetrators the

past,

and were

storytelling

different attending. had

been

touching.

couldn’t

believe

Alice La is a freshman majoring in Media, Culture, and Communication at NYU. Having grown up in NYC’s multimedia landscape, she’s interested in all forms of

but with today’s technological developments

journalism and loves writing pieces that touch upon her

that I have to go home,” she said. Afterwards,

Social media provides a viable alternative to traditional methods of seeking justice and the digital world has become a place to share multifaceted experiences and critique our current societal structures.

monopolized by bigger media organizations,

the perpetrator led Isobel to a nearby public

personal biases. Social media platforms such

current events, and the way our ethnicities

bathroom and forcefully had sex with her.

as Instagram are one of the only places that

and gender coincide to form our experiences.

are

these girls can openly share their experiences

I’ve previously worked closely with the

together. It was only supposed to be her and I

highlighted in the instagram post Isobel

without censorship and reveal the harassment

Korean American Family Service Center, an

Isobel scheduled a hangout with him and two

alone, but he somehow found out and invited

shared in August 2020, along with a mention

they’ve endured while combating the distorted

organization centered around supporting

of her other friends to play pool and go out for

himself along with two of his friends. When

of the toxic relationships she experienced

accounts from authority figures, people around

domestic violence and sexual assault victims.

karaoke, after which they ended up drinking

he got there he purposely excluded me from

after her interactions with the perpetrator

them, or even the perpetrators themselves.

From my time there, I learned about the

and kissing. Following this initial meeting,

the whole group because they all knew each

ended.

with

Instagram also allows survivors to share their

extent to which these issues pervade the Asian

things began to escalate rapidly between the

other but I didn’t know everyone else very

the initial perpetrator and her following

stories anonymously if preferred and levels

American community and the overwhelming

two and they began to meet more frequently.

well. He interacted in public with everyone

relationships

the playing ground so that the perpetrators

cultural stigma that still surrounds reporting

10 Politics and Current Events

All

Although are

these

her in

incidents

relationship no

way

related,

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generasian.blog

everyone holds the power to share and define truth. Social media provides a viable alternative to traditional methods of seeking

Asian American identity. Please contact her at al6900@nyu. edu with any questions or simply to share some horror movie recommendations!

justice and the digital world has become a place to share multifaceted experiences and critique our current societal structures. For

Asian

American

women,

it.”

it’s

especially important to think about the intersectionality of our identities in light of

Her Story: How NYC Asian American Sexual Assault Victims Found Support Through Social Media 11

JINA SHI

Out of Focus

OUT THE WINDOW UP IN THE AIR OUT OF FOCUS

WASHING SERIES

Up in the Air

6 Out 12 History of Focus, and Contemporary Up in the Air, Out Culture the Window

Out the Window

READ READ OUR OUR BLOG BLOG

generasian.blog

Title of Article : Subtitle Washing of Series Article 13 7

NEW CENTURY, SAME PROBLEM

to this country endangers the good order of certain localities within the territory thereof.” 3 Horace Greeley, one of the most famous newspaper editors at the time who eventually went on to establish the New York Tribune, made the racist remark demonstrating the sheer lack of humanity that white America regarded the Chinese immigrants with: “The

THE UNDYING NATURE OF YELLOW PERIL IN THE UNITED STATES

Chinese are uncivilized, unclean, and filthy beyond all conception without any of the higher domestic or social relations; lustful and sensual in their dispositions; every female is a prostitute of the basest order.” This highlights the notion of Yellow Peril and the “Asian menace.” The concept of Yellow Peril lies in

By Amy Dai

the fundamental Western fear of Asians, in particular the Chinese, flocking to their lands and disrupting Christian values, democracy,

shove away all the discomfort I felt into a box

recognition across the media shows the sheer

and the structure of the nuclear family.

ness that I can’t quite put a finger on. Very

labeled “fragile” speaks to the broader nature

absence of this topic in mainstream discourse.

Chinese men performed duties that the West

little in my life have I experienced others’

of racism against Asians throughout the

Most hate crimes have been known to

had traditionally relegated to the woman’s

outward prejudice towards my ethnicity

Western world. Racism against Asians seemed

occur in larger cities, such as San Francisco,

role such as working in laundromats and

and race, yet reflecting on this now only

to be so deeply embedded in our everyday lives

which is home to the oldest Chinatown in

restaurants and thus defied typical Western

leads me to believe that growing up in the

that it felt more convenient to accept its reality

the United States. The lack of names for the

gender roles and Chinese religious practices/

arms of the model minority stereotype has

and move on with life. It’s what the obedient

victims in these reports is concerning; only a

the Judeo-Christian tradition. The United

deliberately sheltered me away from having

model minority was to do, and I went along

deliberate search on the internet reveals the

States’s growing sentiment of the “Asian

to truly dwell on this topic. Sure, moments

with it out of fear of what lies outside the box.

real names and faces that the media refuses to

menace” culminated in the passage of the 1917

such as ou my white teacher insisting on the

Even though it has been more than a year

acknowledge. Viral videos such as 61 year old

Immigration Restriction Act and the National

mispronunciation of my own last name and

since the news of a mysterious virus circulating

Noel Quintana being slashed with a box cutter

Origins Act of 1924: both pieces of legislation

My tendency to hurriedly shove away all the discomfort I felt into a box labeled “fragile” speaks to the broader nature of racism against Asians throughout the Western world.

while on a New York City subway or Matthew

that barred nearly all Asian immigrants

from it all in a mere matter of months, the

around China got out to the rest of the world,

stopping even after myths of the virus’s origin

political cartoons and depictions of Asians in

world became shut down by the pandemic,

data regarding the sheer rise in hate crimes

have long been debunked. The root of these

the media at this time in an effort to justify

and senior year had gone down the drain with

against Asians across the country is still hard

it too. I remember brooding in my house the

to find. Discourse around racism towards

first few months of that quarantine, numbed

Asians was sparse, and the sudden onslaught

by my social media feed flooding with news

of it brought on by the pandemic has not only

of the violence that Asians were facing for the

overwhelmed the Asian diaspora living in the

scapegoat role we now play in the midst of

West but also increased significant tension

this pandemic. More jarring, though, was the

between the Asian and Black populations. A

fear that radiated from my parents that I had

having an excited look on his face when he realized I was Chinese (or the same ethnicity as his wife he would never stop referring to) flit through my head as I stepped out of the doors of high school. But I always swept them away for the higher sake of moving on. High school, I thought, was just a storage unit of discarded memories I would access when I pleased. But just as I told myself I could walk away

Leung, an elementary school worker, losing a finger in a brutal assault at a California bus stop have exploded on the internet. Iona Cheng was mugged by a group of men in December of 2020 and Vicha Ratanapakdee, an 81 year old Thai immigrant was also fatally shoved to the ground in San Francisco in January this year.2 Cases of these crimes show no signs of

Hate crimes never exist in a vacuum, so what is the root of the rampant anti-Asian racism in this country?

Art by Angela Zhai

There’s something about my Chinese-

from legally entering the United States and prohibited Asian residents already within the country from obtaining their citizenship. Yellow Peril undoubtedly reached its peak shortly after the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor, which immediately led to the United States entering the second World War. Americans witnessed an influx of racist

American involvement in World War 2. These Chinese descent, the essence of the crime

the sole demographic when it came to the

remained clear: no Asians were exempt from

job market back then. The Chinese and their

the threat of white America that was growing

“unusual” way of dressing in qi pao’s and

increasingly hateful at the prospect of a more

style of hair in braided queues were seen as

competitive job market, a sentiment that can

alien and dangerous. To combat the protest

crimes, therefore, lies somewhere beyond

be traced back to its origins in the mid-1800’s

of the white laborers, Congress responded

Washington Post article written by Marian

this pandemic. Hate crimes never exist in a

during the wave of Chinese immigration

by passing its first piece of legislation that

never witnessed before. My mom spoke about

Liu and Rachel Hatzipanagos reports that

vacuum, so what is the root of the rampant

to the west coast of the United States.

specifically banned individuals of Chinese

purchasing a gun or installing surveillance

“at least two U.S. cities logged an increase

anti-Asian racism in this country? Cases such

When Chinese people began immigrating

descent from immigrating into the country:

outside our house because the other Asian

in hate crimes against Asian Americans in

as the brutal murder of Vincent Chin in 1982

in massive waves during the height of the

the Chinese Exclusion Act of 1882. This law not

portrayals

neighbors had started doing it too. Seeing the

2020. The New York Police reported at least

display the same sentiment as today. Chin

Gold Rush in California, it didn’t take long

only prevented Chinese people from entering

corrupt and physically inferior to Westerners,

ashened look across my dad’s face while the

28 hate crimes that targeted Asian American

was beaten to death by two white men, who

for white Americans to feel threatened by the

the country but also forbade legal Chinese

which ultimately not only allowed atrocities

CNN anchor put China on blast made me realize

victims last year, compared with three the

were hateful at the rise of the Japanese auto

presence of what they perceived as “peculiar”

residents already in the United States from

such as the bombing of Hiroshima and

that my parents were unwilling to discuss this

previous year.”1 The difficulty in finding

industry at the time and had blamed Japanese

and “exotic” cheap labor. This inevitably

obtaining their rightful citizenship. Section 1 of

Nagasaki to occur, but also human rights

reality with me. My tendency to hurriedly

comprehensive data and the lack of victim

immigrants for it. Though Chin himself was of

meant competition with the White working

this legislation states, “...in the opinion of the

violations

class, who, for as long as they knew were

United States the coming of Chinese laborers

internment camps to be permitted under the

1 https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2021/02/25/asian-hate-crime-attack-patrol/ 2 https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2021/02/25/asian-hate-crime-attack-patrol/

14 History and Contemporary Culture

This all sends the clear message that when the country is in chaos, Asians are no longer the model minority and are once again the menace to society. illustrated

such

Asians

the

1942

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New Century, Same Problem: The Undying Nature of Yellow Peril in the United States 15

morally

Japanese

Racist political cartoon from the early 20th century. Image courtesy of Library of Congress

allowed

diaspora as well as the Chinese government

in fear of anything outside the Westerns

atrocities such as the bombing of Hiroshima

which

once more for America’s own failure amidst

capitalist, individualistic norm. It just so

and Nagasaki to occur, but also human

the pandemic. During the emergence of

happens that because Asia is hard to reach,

rights violations such as the 1942 Japanese

the virus, discourse was rampant on the

White America turns to its Asian diaspora to

internment camps to be permitted under the

Chinese being “bat-eating” people while

release its wrath for their countries’ lack of

public eye. Then, the victory of Mao Ze Dong in

media outlets incited paranoia that the

compliance to American domination. As John

China once again made Chinese Americans the

Chinese government had allegedly delayed

W. Dower, a Pulitzer-winning author on his

primary scapegoat at the hands of Yellow Peril

their response or hid factual information

books on historical wars in Japan, notes, “the

in the United States. Chinese people were now

around the virus. This all sends the clear

vision of the menace from the East was always

the indignant communists who, as previously

message that when the country is in chaos,

more racial rather than national. It derived

shown, posed a threat to Western democracy

Asians are no longer the model minority

not from concern with any one country or

and

society.

and are once again the menace to society.

people in particular, but from a vague and

Times have changed yet the essence of

The coining of Asian Americans as

ominous sense of the vast, faceless, nameless

the

ultimately

harmony

not

only

American

Yellow Peril staunchly remains the same.

hardworking,

While all Asians find themselves a victim of

individuals to Western society is a deeply

Orientalism (a colonialist mentality by which

problematic stereotype in and of itself as it

Europeans have viewed the “Asian monolith”

obscures the struggles of the Asian working

at large), Western media has singled out East

class in the West while inciting further

Asians in particular as a threat during this

division amongst minority populations. The

pandemic. Though it has been more than a

shift from “racist hate” to “racist love” (the

century since the burgeoning of Sinophobia

general acceptance for the model minority) is

(anti-Chinese

American

not a change that should be celebrated. It was

society, COVID-19 has served as a convenient

always the notion of an “exotically different”

weapon for white America to blame the Asian

Asia that the West despised, a prejudice rooted

sentiment)

16 History and Contemporary Culture

contributing,

and

obedient

yellow horde: the rising tide, indeed, of color.”

INTROSPECTION

KAI

Amy Dai is a freshman in the Liberal Studies program hoping to eventually major in International Relations. She looks forward to the conversations that Generasian can spur

ZHENG

within the broader Asian community here at NYU.

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New Century, Same Problem: The Undying Nature Artwork of Yellow by Peril Kai Zheng: in the United Introspection States 17

Chopsticks with Orb

K A I

By: Olia Zhang

WHY I LEARNED ENGLISH

Kai

From a beach in Olia’s hometown, Xiamen

Kiddie

18 Personal Essays and Poetry

Z H E N G

It’s unclear how my love-hate relationship with languages came to be, but it’s very clear how much I rely on using English in my everyday life now as a college student in the United States. I moved from my hometown, Xiamen, to New York City for college when I was seventeen. Even as a senior about to graduate college , I still struggle to articulate why I decided to go through all the hassle of applying for colleges here in the US six years ago. As an international student, I gained a habit of trying to identify other people who might also be international students in classes or events. Seeking out non-native English speakers and non-US citizens helps ease my anxiety of the language I speak everyday not being my native tongue, and soothes the sour spot created by being estranged from home, the comfort of native food, language, families and childhood friends. Although it sometimes gets lonely and tiring, moving to a foreign country and speaking its language is both a necessity and a privilege. I would have never been able to learn some of the things I’m learning now or connect with the many people I got to know without having learned English. Had I been less able to speak or read English, I would have been much more restrained from Although it sometimes gets traveling, communicating, accessing lonely and tiring, moving knowledge and imagining different to a foreign country and lives. speaking its language is both Growing up, even though no one around me really spoke English, a necessity and a privilege. I was exposed to it all the time. After kindergarten, English became one of the mandatory classes in the public schools I attended alongside Chinese and math. I remember caring a lot about my grades in English despite feeling that the classes themselves could not help me achieve much in real life with their rigid memorizationbased and test-oriented pedagogy. My father, who

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Why I Learned Kai Art Spread English 19

The bookshelf in Olia’s bedroom in Brooklyn, which captures their dynamic relationship with Chinese and English. Portrait profile picture of Olia against a backdrop.

I remember caring a lot about my grades in English despite feeling the school classes themselves could not achieve much in real life with its rigid memorization-based and test-oriented pedagogy.

In my bedroom in Brooklyn, there’s a bookshelf that captures the relationship I have with Chinese and English: on the top there is a collage board with notes, postcards and birthday cards from friends written in both English and Chinese. There’s a bright red paper fan that says, “love, love, love” in Chinese. The second layer has a mix of books. Most of them are non-

can hardly say a full sentence in English, believed additional

fiction books written in English, which makes sense because it

English classes on weekends would benefit me. I still wonder

is my social science professors’ favorite genre. There’s a handful

why he went the extra mile paying for those classes that cost

of books written in traditional or simplified Chinese, which are

him a fortune, when his exceptional frugalness would usually

treated as special treasures, partially because of how rare it is to

stop him from buying bottled water when he’s thirsty on the

find them in New York bookstores and how difficult it waswas to

street. I also wonder how he gained the belief that learning

carry them here from China.

English would benefit me, and what he envisioned me doing

Meditating on my relationship with languages and

with the language. My dad certainly did not foresee 15-year-

education through writing this piece helped me realize how

old me asking for his support for me to go to college in another

personal and situational they are.

country, and he still does not understand why I insisted on

Coming to college in the United States

moving so far away.

was a step toward overcoming the

As a teenager, I was heavily influenced by the American

division created by language, and

pop culture scene. Watching movies and TV shows on the

a launchpad to more learning and

internet not only turned me into a better English speaker and film nerd, but it also led me to realize how learning outside of

of English teachers

classrooms is a much more effective way of learning. The test-

did they have? What

oriented English curriculum in Chinese public schools was

are

removed from reality –even if students can get good grades

movies or books in

on tests, they can hardly apply the grammar rules they learn

English? What would

in class to understand English content or express themselves

happen if we were

in English. In middle school, I realized that my most helpful

English teachers were not in the standard classrooms but in

language?

English drama movies, sitcoms, and pop songs.

also come to reflect

I’m still trying to navigate my views and feelings about

their

speak

how

favorite

another I

have

centuries

I have hopes to learn more languages and to understand more about them, knowing from experience that they can guide me out of the darkness of seclusion and give birth to new possibilities and understanding, like finding light out of the cave in Plato’s analogy.

language learning. I know that languages are magical, but the

of colonialism were

costly language classes NYU offers seem like luxuries I can’t

behind the popularization of English. Meanwhile, meeting

afford. Learning languages still feels like something I should

multilingual people has become so common in the past few

be able to pick up on my own, while this concept that English

years I’ve lived in New York City that I started to expect more

can’t be learnt from institutions followed me to college, where

from myself. I speak three languages, including Mandarin

I’ve always resisted taking language classes or classes about

Chinese, American English, and the Gan dialect that I’ve

language. When I hear about friends taking language classes, or

only ever spoken in my family from Jiangxi province. I feel

classes about languages like comparative literature, linguistics,

fortunate to know both English and Chinese, but I also feel

or philosophy of language, I have the same feeling I have when

the overpowering width and depth of both languages, and

I hear someone eating truffles or living in a penthouse - costly,

the relative narrowness of my own abilities in a world where

aloof, and even frivolous. I also feel conflicted about trying to

thousands of other languages are spoken. I have hopes to learn

be a writer because of how much it seems like a competitive

more languages and to understand more about them, knowing

sport and an impractical dream.

from experience that they can guide me out of the darkness of

In the past few years, when exchanging conversations with strangers, I often found myself wondering, what kind READ OUR BLOG

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demythifying of the world shared by English-speakers. When I reflect on my transition from being a teenager watching English TV shows to being an Olia Zhang (she/they) is a senior at Gallatin concentrating in “Education Reform, Social Movements and Arts” with a minor in Global

Reflecting on how I moved from the teenager listening to English in TV shows, to spending my adulthood being part of the English-speaking world, I feel as if I’m seeing a story of crosscultural jump and an adolescent’s voyage unfolding as a rite of passage.

& Urban Education. Growing up in the island city Xiamen in southern China, Olia is a firstgeneration, international student.

seclusion and give birth to new possibilities and understanding, like finding light out of the cave in Plato’s analogy.

Why I Learned English 20

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Why I Learned English 21

pt. i / she was a girl when her bouncy ball rolled into the street, her shoes squeaked beneath her as she chased after it. she was a girl when the sun punctured through sheaths of clouds, her clear skies painted shades of blue, but all she saw was the light. she was a girl when the world around her began changing, her rug pulled from under her feet, yet she continued standing. but quickly she grew, and one day she fell, down the rabbit hole into a world where she was no longer a girl. pt. ii / she plunged into a world of chaos--she didn’t know whether to sink or swim. the girl inside her, lost, and nowhere to be found. she ran, until she could no longer feel her legs beneath her, the ball disappeared from her sight, and she was left in the street. she looked up as the sky seemed to be pressing down, the shades of blue grew darker in front of her eyes. wandering, wondering, she walked toward the speck of light, atop the hills and into the field where she leaped once more. pt. iii / she fled from her nightmares, her past and her future. her shoes no longer squeaking, but muddy and worn. she felt something shifting, as her path lit up ahead, her colours began shining through as she opened her eyes once again. she thought of the ball she once chased so mindlessly after, her eyes glistened as a fresh scent entered her atmosphere. looking ahead, she knew that she couldn’t,

but the waves were now calm, crashing gently against the rocks.

Photography by Jina Shi

she

By: Ting Shing Koh

Ting Shing Koh is a junior at New York University studying Media, Culture, and Communication. She hopes to provoke thought while providing inspiration and comfort to those in need.

22 Personal Essays and Poetry

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she 23

By: LeAnn Mai

Illustrations by Hana Kyung Pak

March 12, 2020. My last day of high

Going

through

multiple

periods

school, and the beginning of a pandemic-

quarantine–from the first initial lockdown to

induced year. I remember begging my mom

Instead, I channeled my inner passions into it, using Spongebob-inspired hues of blue and neon shades of green, purple, and yellow, and altered my casual sneakers to reflect my personality.

on the phone, asking her to let me go to an event right after my piano lessons. Initially, she said no, saying it was dangerous to be out considering the events popping up on the internet and the news. But after much prodding, she agreed to let me go, and I could feel my excitement as I turned on my car engine and drove an hour away from home to the event. The next day, I remember waking

protests, I temporarily traded in painting for

than being cowardly, I took a leap of faith

in. With both the pandemic and the recent

digital graphics, creating a small newsletter

and jumped from topic to topic, hoping that

surge in anti-Asian hate crimes, everything

depicting my friends’ reactions and opinions

my stress, anxiety, and thoughts could be

is overwhelming, hitting us in loads without

on the BLM movement and anti-Black hate

poured out onto a canvas free of judgement.

even giving us a chance to breathe fresh air.

crimes. Seeing everyone’s opinions plastered

After years of focusing on how to be “perfect”

It’s okay to take time to yourself and indulge

onto a newsletter gave me a different

and feeling the need to do well in everything,

in things that make you happy even if it

perspective on how everyone was feeling,

I put that aside and chose to work on myself.

doesn’t fit society’s standards of perfection. Whether it’s your favorite TV show or going to

wearing them. Instead, I channeled my inner

Pre-COVID, I was waiting to graduate high school, attend my first prom, and transition from the suburbs to the hustle and bustle of the city. While I still managed to make it to my dream city, a lot has changed, including my mindset.

Nothing had to

passions into it, using Spongebob-inspired

especially my Black friends.

chance to step away from reality and be in a place where I could solely focus on myself. I remember the first time I picked up a paintbrush and canvas. My paintbrush was merely a mechanical pencil while my canvas was my rundown Air Force 1s. My initial goal was to spruce up my shoes by hiding the ugly dirty cream they turned into after a year of

hues of blue and neon shades of green, purple,

When college came around and I was

and yellow, and altered my casual sneakers to

stuck quarantining in my dorm, I returned to

reflect my personality.

painting, this time turning glass frames into

up, binging Haikyuu!, eating, and falling

dorm quarantine–I was forced to reevaluate

back asleep. This cycle repeated for months,

myself. During that process, I found a new

From here, I realized painting and other

Spotify covers. Since high school, I always

launching me into the now ever-present

way to cope with my mental health: painting.

art forms gave me a chance to let go of any

had headphones plugged into my ears. My

pandemic-induced life we all live in.

I’m no art connoisseur, but it gave me a

anxiety I had. During the time of the BLM

heart resonated with music and song lyrics,

be perfect, and uneven ombres and

painting

outside of the

I was afraid of the risk of failure.

lines portrayed this. For my fellow Asian friends, colleagues, or anyone else struggling during these times: it’s okay to fall back a step and take everything

the recording studio, embrace it and channel your energy into it. LeAnn Mai is a freshman in LS Core from Atlanta, Georgia. She plans to transfer into CAS to pursue a double major in Asian/Pacific/American Studies and English. In her free time, LeAnn enjoys binging Netflix shows, “window” shopping, and going on spontaneous adventures with her friends.

so I channeled this passion into my simple tracings and drawings. I also began to develop a habit of collage-making, constantly putting up and fixing my photo wall which served as a reminder of the good memories I had and the future memories I would make. Even now, with roughly a month and a half left of freshman year, I find myself fixing my wall again in the hopes of creating a sense of normalcy. Looking

back

prior

the

Atlanta

shooting, back to the beginnings of summer 2020 and the start of my first year of college, it still confounds me how we’re still stuck in the middle of this unprecedented period of time that I had expected to be over by last summer. Pre-COVID, I was waiting to graduate high school, attend my first prom, and transition from the suburbs to the hustle and bustle of the city. While I still managed to make it to my dream city, a lot has changed, including my mindset. After trying different art mediums, it never occurred to me that I never strived to become perfect at one of them, which was something my perfectionism would have forced me to do. Growing up in an Asian household where perfection and infallibility were a “personality” trait and characteristic everyone should have, it was always difficult for me to branch out and try new things. I was afraid of the risk of failure. Instead, rather

24 Personal Essays and Poetry

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Mediums 25

ANGELA ZHAI

Cluttered

26 Personal Essays and Poetry

Angela Zhai is from Westport, CT, studying global public health with a concentration in chemistry at CAS.

She is interested in healthcare and public health, and in her free time likes to go to the beach, watch movies, and make art.

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Self Portrait

Artwork by Angela Zhai 27

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