Flashpoint: Spring 2020 by Generasian

FLASHPOINT

GENERASIAN

SPRING 2020

EXECUTIVE STAFF

Co-Presidents Megan Liao Ryan Yi Secretary Naomi Chou Marketing Chair Cheryl Man Treasurer Chelsea Kwak Editors-in-Chief Morgan Kuin Jane Phan Associate Editors Alexandra Fong Michelle Zhang Deputy Editors Kathy Park Chanel Pulido

Art Editors Evonne Lao Cindy Qiang Blog Editors Candice Chiang Phoebe Chuang Media Editor Kelly Sheng Deputy Media Editors Joseph Lee Marva Shi Layout Editor Megan Liao Deputy Layout Editors Marva Shi Charlene Tan Thea Wang

CONTRIBUTORS

Writers Charles Chang Naomi Chou Nene Hamada Ting Shing Koh Zoe Lee Zoe De Leon Miya Shimazaki Kevin Tu Thea Wang Juliana Wu Michelle Zhang Hanxi Zhu

Artists Sam Lee Cindy Qiang Kevin Tu Wendy Yang Luopeiwen (Tina) Yi Jikai Zheng Layout Annie Li Gina Liu Lilian Yang

LETTER

FROM THE EDITORS

Dear Readers, We hope this letter finds you as well as you can be. Like many other publications, we certainly didn’t foresee a digitalonly launch this semester. To continue ahead with operations as we found ourselves suddenly separated was, to say the least, difficult. Even so, we are proud to present the work of our hardworking and thoughtful writers, artists, and layout editors, who have put forth the utmost care in capturing this snapshot of AAPI discourse before the swell of the panic. The moment afterward—the crest of the conflict—this is the theme of this semester’s magazine. Flashpoint, defined as, “a place, event, or time at which trouble, such as violence or anger, flares up,” emulates what we thought to be the coming moments of the new year. 2020 was already set up to host the culmination of many points of tension with movements in climate change, the upcoming presidential election, and more. We asked our contributors to consider these national and global issues, as well as moments of ignition in their personal lives and creative worlds. Our pieces were drafted well before NYU and countless other institutions closed in-person operations. The transition into social distancing has been surprising and frustrating for many; while we absorb and assess the impact of this global flashpoint, we invite you to read through this issue and observe our writers’ assessments of what flashpoints they have encountered and predicted. With this, we hope you enjoy the work that has gone into this issue of Generasian. Your continued readership means the world to us— we wish you health and safety, and hopefully we’ll see you back on campus for the next issue. Happy Reading, Your Editors Jane / Morgan / Kathy / Chanel / Alex / Michelle

READ THIS ISSUE ONLINE: issuu.com/generasian

Jane Phan

Morgan Kuin

CHECK OUT OUR BLOG: generasian.blog Alexandra Fong

Disclaimer:

This publication is published by students at New York University and NYU is not responsible for its contents.

2 Letter from the Editors

Michelle Zhang

Kathy Park

Chanel Pulido

CONTENTS 1

COVER ART

LETTER FROM THE EDITORS

Wendy Yang

AND STAFF/CREDITS

H I S TO RY A ND CON TEMPORARY CU LT UR E

THE EPHEMERAL NATURE OF A MONOLITH Michelle Zhang

THE JAPANESE DILEMMA: WOMEN’S CHOICE BETWEEN WORK AND THE HOME Nene Hamada

DR. LI WENLIANG, 1986-2020

DON’T PUT ME IN A BOX : WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE A TCK?

IN THE CLOUDS, PLUS 12

SHADES OF YELLOW

OBSERVE THE MUTANT

ALL I NEED IS LOVE PINKY BLOSSOM

Juliana Wu

Thea Wang

PER S ONA L NA R R AT IV ES

NATIVE LANGUAGE RECLAMATION IN THEORY AND PRACTICE Naomi Chou

THE FACELESS REVOLUTION Hanxi Zhu

BREAKTHROUGH FAREWELL,NYU I’M NOT SICK

POEMS BY ZOE LEE Zoe Lee

THE UNLUCKY DRAGON Charles Chang

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BLIND LOVE : PULLING OFF THE ROSE-COLORED GLASSES Miya Shimazaki

AT A CROSSROADS: UNDERSTANDING AAPI AND LGBTQ+ IDENTITY Kevin Tu Artwork by Cindy Qiang

Kevin Tu

Zoe de Leon

Luopeiwen (Tina) Yi

P OE T RY AND FIC TION

CAPTURE TREE OSCAR MO WUKONG Wendy Yang

Sam Lee

Ting Shing Koh Artwork by Jikai Zheng

BLOG HIGHLIGHT

MEDIA HIGHLIGHT

MEET THE EBOARD

Table of Contents 3

THE

EPHEMERAL NA

MONO By: Michelle Zhang

A Chinese politician makes a joke: we

for present and future generations, but also a

should trust him on healthcare because he

personal loss felt by the families who donated.

Michelle is a senior studying math and econ.

knows a lot of doctors. It’s a glib joke meant

Larger museums that bring in more

Her favorite Animal Crossing villager is Fauna.

to pander to constituents, to make it seem like

revenue and donors house art that span

he’s the safe choice––not just model but the

millenia, with a focus on Western history.

perfect minority. He’s wrong, but he’s also

Chinese American history is localized in

right. The Asian body in America has always

time, and the brunt of the immigration influx

been a monolith that others have defined.

didn’t arise until the turn of the 20th century.

Japanese, Korean, Vietnamese. We update

Because of this, when larger institutions

our notion of what it means to be an Asian

like the Met did legitimize our history, they

in America with every war we fight on behalf

focused on our more ancient art directly from

of these countries’ liberations. Our bodies,

the origin country. For them, the only thing

to them, to us, to them, are just bodies. Our

that legitimizes our art enough to warrant

history is niche, our art is oriental; and above

preservation is time. MOCA, a forty-year

all else, our essence is meant for labor.

old institution, gives our history legitimacy

This year, a piece of that niche

history burnt down. A large fire incinerated the archives of the Museum of Chinese in America (MOCA) on Mulberry Street in Chinatown, which lost “about 85,000 museum archives documenting

local

Chinese-American

history.”1 MOCA focuses on collecting the articles of Chinese American history that

because it believes our bodies matter in the present.

For them, the only thing that legitimizes our art enough to warrant preservation is time.

most large institutions deemed worthless. Collections of postcards sent back to relatives, “Chinese

American

newspapers,

MOCA was created because its founders

family

were frustrated with the lack of a documented

albums, (and) documents about the Chinese

history of Chinatown, a historical enclave

Exclusion Act of 1882,”2 donated by families

present in numerous major cities in the United

and kept by the museum for archival and

States. The New York Chinatown History

exposition purposes were all water-damaged

Project began in 1980 and was meant to tell

beyond repair. The loss of the items means not

the story of how Chinese migration to the U.S.

only a loss of the community’s history

created these pockets of home in a country

1 Maisel, Todd. “Chinatown Feels ‘Personal Loss’ of 85,000 Artifacts from Five-Alarm Building Fire.” amNewYork, January 27, 2020. 2 Romero, Dennis. “Priceless Collection Owned by NYC’s Chinatown Museum Likely Destroyed in Fire.” NBCNews.com. NBCUniversal News Group, January 25, 2020.

4 History and Contemporary Culture

ATURE

OF A

OLITH that denied all else.3 The largest problem with

collecting records of the Chinese migration was

see a chasm that will never close. Opponents of

that generations of families had thrown out key

dualism believe that the mind can be represented

pieces of their history, deeming them as things

in physical aspects: synapses, neurons, and

they never thought worth keeping. This is why

chemical signals are what make up a conscious

the loss of the archives is uniquely devastating:

mind. In short, a body houses a mind. A body

your history finally matters, but now it’s gone.

houses an identity. The Chinese American community has

This is why the loss of the archives is uniquely devastating: your history finally matters, but now it’s gone.

always had a reticence talking about our culture and our history. Again, the politician is right. We’re not just model minorities, we’re perfect Americans. To our parents, integration was synonymous with destruction. Our physical history was preserved at MOCA; our physical bodies were burned at MOCA. To dualists, our identity is still pristine; to me, our identity will

In the reverse sense, the destruction of the archives also invites the question of what

never be the same.

When questioned about the focus

it means to be Chinese in America. Ironically,

of his book on the Asian identity, Vietnamese

the museum currently features an exhibition

American poet and author Ocean Vuong said

called “Gathering: Collecting and Documenting

that he “wanted to be inspired by [our] poor,

Chinese American History”, in which it “asked

yellow bodies.”5 He wanted to show that we were

Chinese historical societies and museums across

deserving of Literature with a capital L, the way

the country to lend them a single item from their

white bodies so often were inspired by Tolstoy,

respective collections.”4 The items encompass

Proust, and Woolf.6 MOCA wanted to show Asian

a wide range, because it means something

bodies to Asian people, in a country that has

different to all of them, to all of us, of what it

never been inspired by our stories. But when

means to have this body.

Asian immigrants themselves had no conception

There is a debate between philosophers regarding dualism, a question of if the mind and

of their place in history, what does it mean for a museum of their bodies to burn down?

body are truly separate. Some believe this divide of mind-body is reconcilable and others 3 Hsu, Hua. “What We Lost in the Museum of Chinese in America Fire.” The New Yorker, January 27, 2020. 4 ibid. 5 Chow, Story by Kat. “Going Home With Ocean Vuong.” The Atlantic. Atlantic Media Company, December 18, 2019. 6 ibid.

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The Ephemeral Nature of a Monolith 5

By: Nene Hamada

Image courtesy of CNN.

CHOICE THE JAPANESE WOMEN’S BETWEEN WORK DILEMMA: AND THE HOME December 24, 2019—I was scrolling

As the data compiled by the Japanese Ministry

Welfare

for women in their childbearing ages. Since

waiting for my train home to arrive at Shibuya

indicates, Japan has an increasing death rate

the mid-20th century, Japan’s population

station, when a headline of The Japan Times

and steadily declining birth rate wherein

has steadily dropped, prompting the current

caught my eye: “Babies born in Japan to drop

2019 only saw 864,000 births—a rate of 7.3

Shinzo Abe administration to institute a

below 900,000 in 2019 for the first time.”1 As the train pulled into the station, I remember examining the ages of those that exited the train. Strikingly, despite it being Christmas Eve and the middle of winter break, the majority of the people I saw were those in

Health,

Labor

and

the low incentives starting a family offers

through the notifications on my phone,

Japan has an increasing death rate and steadily declining birth rate wherein 2019 only saw 864,000 births

their thirties or older. On the train too, little

series of work-style labor reforms and comprehensive financial support for child upbringing, especially as younger generations already feel burdened with higher taxes as the population ages. Yet, if these reforms have not resulted in great change, what is a possible measure that can positively influence Japan’s

to no children of ages 10 or younger could be

births per 1,000 population compared to the

spotted in my car—let alone any families—

12.4 births per 1,000 population of the United

aging population crisis? As a female who has been brought up in

and only a few teenagers typing away on their

States.2 The negative trend is paradoxical

Japanese society, I feel as if the main problem

phones. Why so?

for Japan’s shrinking population because of

of Japan’s aging population is in the country’s

1 Jiji Reuters, “Babies Born in Japan to Drop below 900,000 in 2019 for First Time,” The Japan Times, 24 Dec. 2019, www.japantimes.co.jp/news/2019/12/24/national/japanese-newbornsbelow-900000/#.XoM1uOf0nGK. 2 “The World Factbook: Japan,” Central Intelligence Agency, 1 Feb. 2018, https://www.cia.gov/library/publications/the-world-factbook/geos/ja.html.; “The World Factbook: United States,” Central Intelligence Agency, 1 Feb. 2018.; “令和元年(2019) 人口動態統計の年間推計,” Ministry of Health, Labor and Welfare, 24 Dec. 2019, www.mhlw.go.jp/toukei/saikin/hw/jinkou/suikei19/dl/2019suikei. pdf.

6 History and Contemporary Culture

Image courtesy of Toyokezai.

lack of gender equality and the general

social status, working positions, and pay in

instance, when variety and news programs on

passiveness towards this issue. Take the

the duration of their absence—resulting in

TV discuss cases of scandals and/or rumors,

Japan ranking “a miserable 110 out of 149 in

many male influencers tend to defend the

the World Economic Forum’s 2018 Gender

male figures involved in the scandals—this

Gap Index.”3 Why is it that working conditions

results in national broadcasts of sexually

continue to be harsh for a certain gender?

biased opinions that target women for the

Evidence of gender inequality is everywhere

blame. Sexualization of women in the media

in daily life in Japan and to me, the questions

also occurs frequently in commercials. Take

I pose are not discussed enough amongst

a popular 2018 Japanese commercial which

society, such that there seems to be little

was criticized by many women for its clear

hope for change. It feels like the notion of

sexualization of women: the advertisement of

women’s inferiority is molded into society,

the durability of a pair of eyeglasses showed

aforementioned scene from the train: the car

continuous from the past without there being

a dangerous close up of the lower half of a

after mine was the “women-only passenger

any effective future advancement.

woman’s body as she sat on the product.

The main problem of Japan’s aging population is in the country’s lack of gender equality and the general passiveness towards this issue.

car” that Japan adopted to reduce cases of groping especially during the infamous rush hours. Why is there a need to separate passengers according to gender? Another issue pertaining to sexuality is of working conditions, specifically in wage gaps and harsh

working

conditions

for

females:

issues that come shockingly to a G7 country playing a prominent role in world economics

Clearly, Japanese mass media is one reflection

It feels like the notion of women’s inferiority is molded into society, continuous from the past without there being any effective future advancement.

and technological advancement. In Japan, working

mothers

women

of how many structures of the country retain a pro-male bias. Media’s enforcement of women’s victimization in terms of gender, in

turn,

establishes

unfavorable

social

environments for women to raise children, resulting in many only-child families or childless families that contribute to low birth rates. The increasing consumption of mass media in this age further hints that media

potentially

At the heart of this discomfort is media

portrayal does a lot to harm the social status

seeking maternity leave are often burdened

and TV, which shape negative perceptions

of Japanese women and their desire to have

with unfavorable situations at work—losing

of females’ identities and social status. For

children.

3 Kazuo Yamaguchi, “Japan’s Gender Gap,” IMF Finance & Development Magazine, Mar. 2019, www.imf.org/external/pubs/ft/fandd/2019/03/gender-equality-in-japan-yamaguchi.htm.

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The Japanese Dilemma: Women’s Choice Between Work and the Home 7

Image courtesy of Toyokezai.

Radical changes to conditions of female

children becomes more integrated into Japan’s

discouraged from bringing up children without

inferiority and the aging population are still

working environments, as well as granting

sufficient paternal involvement, oftentimes

in process. In February 2020, Environment

more generous maternity leave support for

whilst maintaining a career, a further drop

Minister Shinjiro Koizumi announced a 12-

working women.

in the birthrate is expected and will do little

day paternity leave following the birth of

If women are able to better identify

to relieve the pressure directed at young

his son. Paternity leave is a rather, if not

themselves in society and are at the same

individuals as they bear the responsibility of

completely new concept which gained light in

levels of income and social rights in Japan, it is

the country’s future on their shoulders.

Japan with Koizumi’s case, leaving Koizumi

possible that there will be favorable outcomes

to believe that his example will hopefully

promising the future of Japan’s population.

Nene Hamada is a freshman from Japan studying Media,

“lead the way of working styles to one where

From various interactions with both the

Culture, and Communication at NYU Steinhardt.

everyone can easily take child-care leave

Japanese

without hesitation.”4 Although a Japanese poll

regarding this issue, I can see that Japanese

has shown that 75.6% of those interviewed

women are especially apprehensive of starting

are supportive of Koizumi’s decision, there

a family compared to women of the same age

still remains backlash against him for leaving

in other countries like the United States. The

his position as an irresponsible leader. Such

most common reasons for this are Japanese

negative comments allude to the controversy

women’s fear of losing status both at work and

regarding a Japanese social structure in which

in society in the larger picture, as well as poor

many people (both men and women) identify

treatment at the workplace—a prime example

as “workaholics” that prefer to find pleasure

being discrimination and/or harrassment

in work over their personal lives. Since

simply because they are female.

and

international

communities

many Japanese still hold onto the centrality

Discrimination against women and the

of paternal figures in the household, there

declining birthrate are two interconnected

may be hopes for increases in birth rates if

social issues evident in modern Japan which

increased paternal involvement in raising

require immediate measures. If women are

4 Motoko Rich, “A Japanese Politician Is Taking Paternity Leave. It’s a Big Deal,” The New York Times, 15 Jan. 2020.

8 History and Contemporary Culture

DR. LI WENLIANG, 1986-2020 Sam Lee is a freshman studying photography and international relations. She enjoys using watercolor, acrylics, and drawing in pen.

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I created this portrait of the late Dr. Li Wenliang (who was killed by COVID-19 after being punished for warning other healthcare workers about a new virus) because I was struck by his story and the emotional response it has elicited from Chinese people and other observers of the Chinese government. After his death, one commenter on Weibo wrote, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Do not forget how you feel now. Do not forget this anger. We must not let this happen again.â&#x20AC;?

BY SAM LEE Dr. Li Wenliang, 1986-2020 9

DON’T PUT ME WHAT DOES IN A BOX: IT MEAN TO BE A TCK? By: Ting Shing Koh “Where are you from?”

are equally important in shaping who I am

culture different from that of their parents.

sweating—this

and how I see the world. Even though I have

But this definition is far from encapsulating

innocent question fills me with a sense of

found a stronger sense of belonging and

what it truly means to be a TCK. The struggles

dread. For others, it’s one of the simplest

understanding with TCKs, concerns still arose

and uncertainties we experience, differences

questions one could be asked, but for me, it is

regarding how to represent myself to others.

and individualities we possess, are concealed

a question I try to avoid as much as possible.

How do I tell my story? How do I make them

by a vague and generalizing definition. It

understand?

doesn’t mention the looks of confusion we

Eyes

shifting,

palms

Identification or Identity? Growing up, I have always yearned for a

get when trying to explain where we are from.

What are Third Culture Kids?

It doesn’t include the absence of something fundamental, something many of us seek—a

sense of belonging. I was born in Singapore,

Kids who grew up in third world

but grew up in Shanghai during my formative

countries? No. Kids who grew up in three

Furthermore, there are many people

years. I felt like a boat lost at sea, in-between

cultures? Possibly, but not quite. The term

who fit the qualifications of this definition

two shores, neither side claiming me to be

“Third Culture Kid” was coined by sociologist

but do not identify as TCKs. For instance,

theirs. As the turbulence escalated, waves

Ruth Hill Useem in the 1950s to describe

many individuals whose parents migrated

I felt like a boat lost at sea, inbetween two shores, neither side claiming me to be theirs.

people who spent their formative years in a

from China to the US grew up in a culture

from both shores began clashing within me, fighting for dominance in my sea of identity. I felt the need to identify with one side over the other, but I couldn’t do so. Both cultures were so deeply rooted in the molding of my identity, I couldn’t abandon either side. But I was the one holding a foreign passport in the city I grew up in, a tourist disguised as a citizen. I couldn’t truly belong. Stumbling upon the term “Third Culture Kid” (TCK), I discovered I was not the only one having trouble identifying with a singular culture. It took some time to reconcile my identities, but I was eventually able to reach a middle-ground. Reconciliation requires rationalization. I learned to slowly incorporate both cultures into my identity because they

10 History and Contemporary Culture

sense of belonging.

Night. Illustration by Jikai Zheng.

entirely different from that of their parents. Nonetheless, most of them identify “home” to be America, a simple and direct answer to a question many TCKs struggle to explain. How do these individuals differ from TCKs then? The difference between the two lies within the affinities TCKs have toward the cultures they encountered and were brought up in. What it means to be a TCK is much more than the stamps on our passports, but more importantly is the shared understanding that our idea of “home” is more than just a singular physical location. Every single TCK is different. Simply grouping us under the umbrella term “TCK” elicits the risk of people not seeing us as individuals, as separate from where we are “from.” And this risk exists for all people,

Simply grouping us under the umbrella term “TCK” elicits the risk of people not seeing us as individuals, as separate from where we are “from.” TCK or not. When we associate people with a geographic location, we take a mental shortcut toward understanding them. Linking people to single-word traits may be an efficient way to organize new information, but this heavily wastes our potential as complex social beings. Cliché as it sounds, we all have the ability to delve deeper. Make the effort to do so. Care.

Time to Rewire Our brains naturally compartmentalize. To process the large influx of information we encounter every day, we are forced to simplify and categorize novel input. But how can we logically and ethically categorize identity? An entity so complex and multi-faceted, an entity many of us still haven’t figured out entirely for ourselves. Although the term “TCK” provides more insight into a subgroup of people who may share common characteristics, it further highlights humans’ need to put others in

Day. Illustration by Jikai Zheng.

boxes, under the justification to “better

those

understand” them. Ironically, this limits our

discover so much more if you diverge from the

surface-level

questions,

you’ll

understanding of the true complexities that

beaten path. This is not to say one’s origins do

constitute individuals.

not matter, but there are so many aspects we

Where we are from may be a part of who

are neglecting if we simply seek single-word

we are now, but it shouldn’t be the singular

answers. Let your origins illuminate your

aspect that defines us. It’s easy to initiate a

thoughts and actions—their presence will

conversation with questions such as “where

shine through.

are you from” or “what do you do.” But let us

Don’t put yourself, or anyone else, in

break down these social norms, look beyond

a box. Strive to understand beyond what it

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means to be a TCK, but more importantly what it means to be you.

Ting Shing Koh is a freshman studying Media, Culture, and Communication at New York University.

Don’t Put Me In a Box: What Does It Mean To Be a TCK?

Image Courtesy of The New York Times

THE

FACELESS REVOLUTION

By: Hanxi Zhu On July 1st, 1997, the United Kingdom

represented by its founders and student

users on news, provide survival tips, and

ended 156 years of colonial rule in Hong Kong

activists, the 2019 protests are distinctly

mobilize people.2

when it handed sovereignty to China. Since

faceless. For a burgeoning revolution, this

then, the region has operated under the “one country, two systems” arrangement—for fifty years, China would allow the region’s political structure to mostly remain the same. In February 2019, Hong Kong’s Security Bureau proposed a bill of amendments to the

While the Occupy was represented by its founders and student activists, the 2019 protests are distinctly faceless

city’s government that would allow criminal

Thus, because there was no single person with more influence, the movement became a people’s battle. The protesters presented themselves as one cohesive mass, making them harder to target since there was no one specific to pinpoint. In a way, this parallels the democratic rhetoric that they were pushing— the movement, comprised of “the people,”

suspects in Hong Kong to be extradited to

holds distinct advantages—the government

mainland China. After years of tightening

cannot target specific names. Additionally,

The non-hierarchical structure allowed

control, the bill spread fear amongst Hong

no “leader” can misrepresent the movement,

the group to easily adapt their actions and

Kongers, implying that their independence

giving more autonomy to the people and

strategies, relying on ground-level efforts

would be compromised. Beginning in March

allowing for a longer-lasting movement.

rather than the orders of a higher-up.

2019, citizens took to the streets in a series

However, should the protesters hope to

The protesters used guerrilla warfare and

of increasingly violent protests against the

achieve

adhered to a “be water” strategy, popping up

extradition bill.

completely upending the government, the

This is not the first time Hong Kong

the

far-reaching

goal

protests need an advocate.

has experienced social turmoil in response

Without a clear leader, the arrests of a few

to its political arrangement. In 2014, the

key people would not topple the movement.

Occupy Movement attempted to influence the

During

government to allow universal suffrage by

arrested, effectively ending the occupation

“occupying” parts of the city. However, while

soon afterward.1 In the 2019 protests, there

the Occupy Movement ended without any

was no one figure to closely examine or attack.

government concessions, the 2019 protests

As a collective, Hong Kongers organized and

successfully resulted in the bill’s withdrawal.

discussed tactics on social media apps such

However,

while

the

Occupy

was

fought for more influence of the people.

Occupy,

noted

organizers

were

as Telegram, an encrypted app used to update

Image Courtesy of Reuters

1 Fiona Law and Chester Yung, “Hong Kong Protests: Occupy Central Founders to Surrender to Police,” Wall Street Journal, Dow Jones & Company Inc., 2 December 2014; Mia Lamar and Isabella Steger, “Hong Kong Police Clear Last Protest Site,” Wall Street Journal, Dow Jones & Company Inc., 14 December, 2014. 2 Joel Schectman, “Exclusive: Messaging app Telegram moves to protect the identity of Hong Kong protesters,” Reuters, Thomson Reuters, 30 August 2019.

12 History and Contemporary Culture

Thus, because there was no single person with more influence, the movement became a people’s battle.

smaller, more specific differences within the protests, everyone largely fell under the same ideological umbrella: to fight for a more democratic

government.

Without

clearly

articulating exactly what the movement is fighting for, more people are loosely

unexpectedly at one place for a short amount

connected to the revolution itself, rather than

of time, escaping through nearby public

adhering only to specific tenets.

transportation, and appearing in another

However, there still is no specific,

place. This allowed them to easily adapt to

articulated plan on how to reform or replace

police countermeasures. They did not have to

the current system. Creating constructive,

wait for orders; rather, they worked together,

meaningful change out of their myriad of

The riots happened at a crucial time for

devising signals for assembly lines to pass

ideals requires clear leadership. While riots

Hong Kong, nearing the halfway mark under

supplies to the front lines.3 This forced the

resulted in the repeal of the bill, achieving

the current political arrangement. The world

police to be reactionary and allowed the

democracy, will be infinitely more ambitious.

is in the midst of a technological revolution,

protests to keep happening as long as the police did not catch the protesters. Moreover, the anonymity encouraged more dissatisfied citizens to join. There was less risk of being recognized and Image Courtesy of The New York Times

While riots resulted in the repeal of the bill, achieving democracy, will be infinitely more ambitious. While the lack of leadership allowed the burgeoning movement to persist longer than previous revolutions, it is not sustainable.

Image Courtesy of The New York Times

becoming more globalized and connected. As a political hotbed, Hong Kong’s 2019 riots could spark an inflection point in its political history, indelibly marking a shift in the way citizens react to political regimes across the world. Hanxi is a freshman in Liberal Studies. She hopes that one day, microwaving popcorn will be considered a valuable cooking skill.

At some point, a chosen leader is required to clearly represent and advocate for the movement at the cost of the people’s collective freedoms. A face needs to emerge in order to keep the revolution from dissolving into chaos, to act as a spokesperson with whom fewer consequences to participating in the

the government can discuss, to legitimize the

protests if identity was protected. Echoing

movement.

many revolutionary movements, there were

Image Courtesy of The Sun

masks and online usernames to hide behind, personas separate from their day-to-day selves to slip into, should situations go awry. While

notable

public

figure

can

misrepresent the views of the rest of the movement, the facelessness of the 2019 protests allowed the movement to adapt uniformly rather than rely on the opinions of a few. During the Occupy movement, there were divides between what its leaders and

participants

wanted.4

This

created

tensions within the revolution itself, which the government exploited to overpower the fragmented movement. In contrast, the ideological basis of the 2019 protests gradually and collectively shifted because they did not have initial specific ideals to fight for. Even after Chief Executive Carrie Lam repealed the bill, the demonstrators were not appeased, as their focus shifted from stopping the bill to achieving democracy. While there were still 3 Yanan Wang and Alice Fung, “Hong Kong protesters use signals, Post-its to hone skills,” ABC News, ABC News Internet Ventures, 19 July, 2019. 4 Wall Street Journal, “Occupy Central Founders Surrender”. READ OUR BLOG

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The Faceless Revolution 13

I’M NOT SICK

KEVIN TU Kevin Tu is a Senior at NYU, studying Marketing and Finance. He likes exploring storytelling and representation through comic illustration and sequential art.

FAREWELL NYU It’s been a rollercoaster four years. It’s a shame it had to end this way. I’ll miss it: good, bad, and ugly. And I’ll still be around. Thanks for everything!

14 History and Contemporary Culture

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Artwork by Kevin Tu 15

BY: ZO Zoe Lee is a juanior majoring in history and art history.

I. HOW TO HEM MEMORY INTO AN IMMIGRANT: ribbons of red rough worn fabric and string spun around brittle straw, delicacy knitting itself into the dirty red dress dragged through mud and rainwater, on tuesday the dress ripped in two. today ma ma sewed it up again even though thread is rare now that the weather turned traitorous too; ma ma, with the smile embroidered into the tender folds of her mouth, and ba ba, with cheerful gray woven through black hair. today ma ma sewed up a dress, today ba ba cut out time for tea parties. stitch laughter into the foundation of a small house until the sky turns gray like steel walls of an immigrant ship and waves crash onto the sides, eyes fixed solemnly on the sea. home is in the hands of a small dollâ&#x20AC;&#x201D; itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a wonder she does not bleed.

16 Poetry and Fiction

OE LEE

III. THE DOLL FELL under the bed and behind the couch and between the book and the newspaper and the book and the book and the homework and then under the pillow and under the blanket and one corner two corner three corner four—it’s time for bedtime, little one—ba ba, i can’t find her—it’s late, we can find her in the morning—but ma ma made

II. THIS IS HOW A DOLL FALLS

her—you can sleep without her for one night—no, I can’t—you will have to, little one—ma ma made her—ba ba is tired tonight—on the shelf beside the cigarette pack and the three paperclips and the measuring tape and four big binder clips and one stubby pencil and two neon pink pens and one red bent pencap and back under the bed behind a paper bag full of plastic bags and a collection of clear cylindrical take out containers and two suitcases and back between book after newspaper after book after book

in the corner between the bed

after homework before under the table and two rickety

and the wall, curled up under a quilted

chairs and in the kitchen big enough only to look between the pot and the six eggs and the bag of rice for tomorrow’s

blanket, hauled from the pile

dinner and the one chopping cleaver and—she won’t be

sitting unfolded and forgotten

in the kitchen—but she’s not anywhere else!—bedtime, and we will look for her tomorrow morning—but—now,

in the morning rush, a shield against

I won’t ask again—in the fourth corner she lies, already

crawling brown roaches, swarming

friends with the dust, and so here is the secret to hemming memory into an immigrant: take a doll (or a dress or a pair

as soon as ma ma comes home

of shoes or a photo or a letter or a—). use your soul as a

hauling today’s clothes from the small

spool of thread and sew it closed.

tailoring shop downstairs that they own; two months ago scraps pieced together for a quilted blanket and ba ba has no time for tea parties, his job is to stomp crawling bodies unmoving. school was okay, but I don’t understand kickball, says the quilted blanket, curled up the wall, shielded until the floor does not throb with small crawl blobs mobbing the hall and the ones with the gall to still move at all are quelled.

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Poems by Zoe Lee 17

THE UNLUCKY DRAGON

Image via iStockPhoto.

By: Charles Chang Flushing, New York. “Ai-Dee!” My grandmother’s thick accent cut through the even-thicker smell of stir fry. “Give me a second Nai Nai, I’m frying up

the kitchen, back from his smoke break. “Your

used to make our shrimp fried rice. She had

grandma wants to talk to you.”

escaped communist China with my grandpa,

“Alright—thanks, Oliver. Can you take over this order?”

twenty dollars, and determination for a better life. After both my grandpa and my parents

“No problem.”

passed, she’d been through it all: no parent

an order of noodles. I’ll be there in a minute!” I

I dusted my hands off on my apron and

should have to attend their child’s funeral, but

yelled over the roar of the stove. The blistering

proceeded to hand the reins over to Oliver.

heat of the wok melted the perspiration as it

He’d been at our restaurant, The Lucky

rolled down my cheek.

Dragon, for as long as I can remember. He’d

My grandmother’s thick accent cut through the even thicker smell of stir fry.

skim General Tso’s chicken off of customer’s

“Yo, Eddy.” The other fry cook came into

18 Poetry and Fiction

orders and leave it in the fridge for me. Suffice to say, he was basically part of the family. Leaving the kitchen, I made my way to

the pain only seemed to make her stronger. “Ai-dee,” she paused, “I have some news for you”. “Yes, Nai Nai? What is it?” She sighed, the lines of age etched into her forehead. “We don’t have enough money to send you to college.”

the front of the house to meet my Grandma,

My heart sank. After I got into Yale in

who was tougher than the day-old rice we

December, we hadn’t talked about whether

or not we could afford to send me to a college with such an expensive price tag. “As a result, I’ve decided to sell the restaurant.” “What? Nai Nai, what the fuck have you done?” My grandma and grandpa had worked at this restaurant for over 40 years, scrounging up every penny to save up to buy this place. When my parents had me, they bought the restaurant. This was her life’s work. All the memories she had built were in this restaurant, including the few memories left of my parents. “Ai-yah!” She scolded. “How else am I supposed to raise the money?” “I’ll figure out another way. I’m sure Yale would allow me to do two years at a community college, and then transfer once we’ve saved up enough money!” That was a lie. I called the Office of Financial Aid, and they told me that I couldn’t do that; I either needed to defer my admission to next year or

Image via Brett Sayles, Pexels.

not go at all. My grandma shook her head. “Don’t be

my stomach that had gnawed at me finally

elbow-deep in fish guts, and until our clothes

stupid Ai-dee. The sale from the restaurant

quelled. My wallet, however, did seem a little

stank of the ocean. We did all that we could so

would be enough to send you to Yale for

emptier. A small price to pay, I suppose.

that you could live the life we couldn’t.”

4 years, and get me a nice apartment in

“Nai Nai! I have some news for you!”

Chinatown.” On the verge of imploding, I ran

“What is it? I have to take an order. No

into the kitchen, the smoke from the stove barely concealing my anger. “Everything alright?” Oliver inquired. “Yeah I’m fine.” I quickly snapped.

time. Hurry up!” “I applied for a private loan. I can afford college and you can keep the restaurant.” I

“Grandma…” I wanted to express my gratitude, for all the years that my grandma had taken care of me. Even when I wanted to repay her, she simply wouldn’t allow it. “Just do well in school. Promise me, one

She preferred preparing in our kitchen rather than the kitchen downstairs, as she could do as she pleased. In her words, “No health inspector.”

day, you’ll build something.”

kitchen rather than the kitchen downstairs, as

expected to see an ecstatic look on her face,

I graduated. Although she was bedridden,

she could do as she pleased. In her words, “No

perhaps a sigh of relief, or maybe even a hug.

she insisted that she visit me and watch me

health inspector.” I envisioned her humming

Instead, all I got was a steely cold look.

graduate. “Ai-dee! Look over here!” She cried,

“Let’s just get these orders done so I can take my break.” That night, I lay in our rented twobedroom apartment above the restaurant, thinking about how much Lucky Dragon meant to me, to our entire family. I could hear Grandma preparing for the next day’s service in our kitchen. She preferred preparing in our

My grandma ended up finding a nice apartment in Confucius Plaza, in the heart of Chinatown. She spent her days playing Mahjong, watching Chinese television, and gossiping with the other residents. It was a nice retirement, and I was glad that she finally got to relax for the first time in her life. She passed away last year, a year after

along as her hands guided the blade with ease

“Eddy.” She calmly said. “Come sit

holding up her camera as I walked to receive

and precision. Her heart was in the right place.

down.” I sat down next to her, ready for my

my diploma. Flashing her a quick smile, I

She’d sacrificed too much for this family.

tongue lashing. “You knew I came to America

walked over and accepted the diploma that

for a better life.”

she had sacrificed so much for.

“Hi, I filled out the online application. I’d like to apply for a loan.” I’d done some

“I know.” I retorted. “This restaurant

research and decided to take a private loan

was part of your American Dream. I didn’t

during my lunch break.

want you to throw it all away so I could go to

“Hi, yes. I’ve looked at your application, and you do qualify for our Smart Option Student Loan. It’d have a fixed payment rate of 10.5% APR. is that okay?”

college. I can pay off the loans. It can’t be that

school in Beijing. He can be found exploring the city, looking for new restaurants to try.

“Eddy, I also want to ensure that my family would have a good life too. So that your future generations would be able to live

“Okay, sounds good. We’ll send some

comfortable lives. I lived a full and happy life.

more paperwork through the mail to you.”

Your grandfather and I work many late nights

As I hung up the phone, the sickness in

at this restaurant. We cut fish until we were

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Data Science. A Bay Area native, he went to an international

bad.”

“Sure.” I really didn’t see another choice.

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Charles Chang is a sophomore at Stern studying Finance and

The Unlucky Dragon 19

Capture

WENDY YANG 20 Poetry and Fiction

Wendy Yang is a junior studying Biology at NYU. In her free time, she has recently begun experimenting with digital art, and feels most inspired by Chinese brush painting. She also teaches painting classes at a senior center and is planning to pursue an Art minor. You can sometimes find her dogspotting in a local park.

tree

oscar

wukong

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Artwork by Wendy Yang 21

IN THE CLOUDS, PLUS 12

By: Zoe de Leon In the corner of the bedroom, the blades

just arrived from her first trip to Europe.

soft, hazel feathers burst out of her skin. The

of an electric fan reflect moonlight as it spins.

There is a sudden, harrowing pain on her

room is silent again. Maya flaps her wings; the

The room is otherwise still and cloaked in the

shoulder blades—as if her bones were trying

prickling and buzzing gone, and her beak pulls

evening’s darkness. Maya can only faintly

to claw their way out of her skin. Yet as quickly

into a smile as if birds could do such a thing.

distinguish soft silhouettes of furniture she

as it ensued, the pain slowly begins dissipating

Out the window she lurches, and in one

was once all too familiar with: the blurred

into a dull throb and numb prickling all over

beat of her wings Maya is soaring into the dark

planes of her curtain’s folds, florals on her

her body.

sky. The cool breeze rustles her feathers as

duvet, outlines? on posters of boy groups

But Maya, all too experienced, knows

she dives up, down, and in circles in sporadic

she no longer listens to. Now they all feel like

that this is just the dramatic pause, like the

intervals. In her excitement, her energy spikes

objects of hazy memory. If it weren’t for the reverberating hum of the fan, she would think she was asleep like the rest of the world. “Try to sleep,” Yaya warned her earlier in the evening. “You have to fight it. Or else you’ll be tired all day tomorrow.” Maya mulled over Yaya’s warning all evening but knew in the shallows of her heart

Maya flaps her wings; the prickling and buzzing gone, and her beak pulls into a smile as if birds could do such a thing.

as if she hadn’t just flown for fifteen hours the day before. From high above, Maya can’t make out a single sound other than her own feathers rustling and her heart beating. In the early morning hours, the city below sleeps. Her favorite commercial strip is now bathed in darkness; the park she used to frequent on

that she wouldn’t take caution. Sitting up

silence before an orchestra launches into the

Sundays is outlined by lampposts dotting the

against her bed, Maya begins to sense the

symphony.

landscape with warm yellow light. The long

onset of her metamorphosis. The first time

The sound of bones snapping and

winding highways are devoid of cars except

it ever happened, it was an unusually balmy

reshaping fills the quiet of the room, and

for the occasional lone traveler. Maya wonders

summer—she was eleven years old and had

Maya struggles to muffle a scream before

if they, too, enjoy the quiet satisfaction of

22 Poetry and Fiction

being awake while the whole world sleeps. Looking

below,

Maya

spots

“No wonder I’m hungry,” she shakes

new

her head in amusement, descending to the

apartment complexes where there once were

kitchen to browse the cupboard’s extensive

empty plots of land; the old hotel is half-

instant noodles collection. “It’s dinnertime in

demolished, and there’s a new mall extension.

New York.”

In her absence, the city she knew like the

“No wonder I’m hungry,” she shakes her head in amusement, descending to the kitchen to browse the cupboard’s extensive instant noodles collection. “It’s dinnertime in New York.”

back of her hand since birth had quietly transformed without her consent. Maya thinks it’s a lot like crossing paths with an old friend on the street. She could sense the familiarity of the city’s skeleton, but time had changed its curves and planes until all was unrecognizable and, likely, irreversibly so.

She could sense the familiarity of the city’s skeleton, but time had changed its curves and planes until all was unrecognizable and, likely, irreversibly so.

including Yaya will peel their way up from bed, likely unsurprised to find an already awake Maya slurping a bowl of calamansi noodles and massaging her sore shoulders. The pale crescent moon, still high up in the sky, steadily wanes. In some other corner of the world, Maya’s body believes it has just

already had a pretty face.”

about risen.

already

imagine

enjoys late-night snacking.

Blurred moonlight and soft morning

thinks she’ll tell Yaya the next day. “She can

Communication. She was born and raised in Manila and

sun seep into the still house. Soon, everyone

“It’s too bad she’s changed,” Maya

Maya

Zoe de Leon is a sophomore studying Media, Culture, and

the

conversation: she’ll sit with her legs tucked in the dining table, limbs sore and lids heavy, dozing off over lunch but eager to recount her night. She’ll sense Yaya’s furrowed brows and look of disapproval watching from the kitchen door frame. “I know, I know,” Maya will say. “It’s my fault for staying up.” “You’ll fall asleep now then wake up at nine o’clock, then you’ll be up all night again,” Yaya will say with arms crossed. But in the moment, as she soars in the freedom of an open sky, Maya is sure it’ll be worth it. Up in the clouds, time passes smoothly in a way her body cannot synchronize with just yet. It’s the isolation of both flying and being awake when everyone else is sleeping that finds a way to soothe her into tiredness. Maya looks to the peaking sun and decides it’s time to head back. She spreads her wings in one last stretch before diving down. Her feathers ruffle and shed in the brush of wind, and she can already feel the throb of her beak pulling back. She soars towards her bedroom window and perches on its sill just in time for the claws to ease back into feet and legs. The sky is a foggy periwinkle when Maya rolls back into the darkness of the room. The electric fan continues to spin as she dresses. As she feels for leftover feathers tangled in knots of hair, Maya spots the clock: 6:40 a.m.. Her stomach grumbles. READ OUR BLOG

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In the Clouds, Plus 12 23

YELLOW

By: Juliana Wu

SHADES OF

She doesn’t want to be the light of your life. But sometimes she is. Sometimes she is so light the slightest breeze of your tenderness catches her limbs, her winter coat that should not be catchable. Being this light means she shouldn’t fall so hard. But she does. Sometimes she feels so heavy she prays her razor slices past her dark stubble to scrape the melanin that brims from her. When your friends would rather her drip crimson than be Dark, when you’re too meek to blow down their taunts, she would rather be heavy with her disappointment than revel in the lightness you award her; a participation award.

24 Poetry and Fiction

Your cowardice still sprawls across the throne of her heart oppressing her with your sickly “It’s just a joke.” Idiot. You should have been searching for the light not in her skin but in her eyes. And now she’s learned to never let it go.

Juliana Wu is a sophomore studying finance, data science, and psychology. She has been writing poetry casually since freshman year of high school and loves to explore the depth of different human relationships. This poem is a view of colorism against South Asians perpetuated by East Asians, even though in an ideal world we would be standing in solidarity in life and love.

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Shades of Yellow 25

OBSERVE THE

MUTANT MUTANT By: Thea Wang

Microscopic view of the Hepatitis B virus (HBV). HBV is a liver infection that can be spread through blood.

Mutant. It was what the researchers

felt relieved, but a little embarrassed. They

of it was just in his head, and how much of it

called him. They didn’t mean it in an

were treating him out of benevolence, weren’t

was true?

antagonizing way; that’s just what he was.

they?

His parents told him not to tell

He was “not completely healthy,” which

As a child, no one told him about the costs

people he was a mutant. Still, he recalls a

made him “different,” and thus worthy of

of treatment. As time passed and he learned of

moment from his childhood; the first time

investigation.

them, he gradually became a moody, skeptical

he really realized others saw him differently.

teenager. His condition was physical, but

He could ignore the judgment from adults,

They called the place a hospital, which was true, to some extent: he had regularly scheduled checkups and treatments with a specialist. It was, in general terms, a physical disease, an attack on his liver. He didn’t mind the hospital visits; it was a minor inconvenience

most.

They

How much of it was just in his head, and how much of it was true?

because they looked down upon young people anyway, but he learned the pain of judgment from people his own age.

His best friend had a treehouse. At

first, he thought it was “their” place, but his

prescribed

it went without saying that it affected him

friend began inviting kids who were mean

him an artificial bubble-gum-flavored oral

mentally. To him, the hospitals, doctors,

and reckless—which probably led them to

medicine, but it just tasted like cough syrup.

and researchers were all in it for their own

After a few years, they pulled him off the

benefit: to make money, to feel better about

pink medicine. The next stage of treatment

themselves,

entailed daily injections. But he wasn’t at

fulfilling their savior complexes. The distrust

high risk (yet), so his parents refused it. He

made him scared of drawing blood. How much

26 Poetry and Fiction

the

“normal

non-mutants,”

But he learned the pain of judgment from people his own age.

Thea Wang is a freshman studying Media,

propose the idea of performing a blood pact

Culture, and Communications at Steinhardt.

one day. Just the thought was sickening, dizzying, nausea-inducing. Did they not realize how dangerous and unsanitary that was? Of course not. Normally, he prioritized his best friend’s admiration, but this time he would refuse. He knew from experience that he wouldn’t care if he participated or not.

This

time

was

different;

for

whatever reason, he had to participate in the ritual. Frankly, it felt like a betrayal. Surely his best friend knew—perhaps not the specific conditions—that he was a mutant. Was he drawing attention to it on purpose?

The room seemed to spin, voices

began echoing.

Of course. Because he’d always be a

mutant.

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Illustration of the blood brothers pact: two (or more) people make a cut on their hand and put their hands together so that their blood mixes together.

Observe the Mutant 27

[ LUOPEIWEN Luopeiwen (Tina) Yi is a sophomore studying Economics and International Relations. She is most interested in Portraits and Digital Illustrations. She wants to be an art freelancer in the future.

ALL I NEED IS LOVE 28 Poetry and Fiction

( T I N A) Y I ]

PINKY BLOSSOM Flowers never die, they blossom again in the spring. We suffered, we cried, but our lives will always blossom like those beautiful flowers do. Stay strong, winter will be gone.

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Artwork by Luopeiwen (Tina) Yi 29

NATIVE LANGUAGE RECLAMATION

IN THEORY AND PRACTICE Photo via Creative Boom, Blue Lotus Gallery

By: Naomi Chou The single language that I know in any

the Hawaiian cultural renaissance of the 1960s

praxis—it

meaningful capacity is English. I’m not saying

revived pre-colonist Hawaiian nationalism,

personal insecurities. I mean, it feels bad to

this to be modest or to downplay something

which

Hawaiian

be considered whitewashed without any of the

that never got formalized. Stating it like this

language and cultural traditions from tourist

accompanying white privilege (it’s unfair—

is, of course, absolves me from responsibility

exploitation,

Wampanoag

are white people expected to know Olde

for this fact: I don’t speak Chinese, and I’m

reclamation project reconstructed a language

High German?). There’s also self-loathing,

going to blame everyone but myself.

that had been wiped out by white colonists

stemming

culture

and taught it to children as part and parcel of

ignorant, monolingual Americans. But the

should unconditionally be criticized for only

community revitalization. It’s important to

most obvious detriment of monolingualism

benefiting people who are white (and people

know of these efforts, but using indigenous

is not culture or identity but simply lacking

of color to the extent that they are proximal

movements to substantiate my own personal

communication

to whiteness). America’s education system

drama is fraught because, obviously, I’m not

obstacles in daily life.

also deserves criticism for not even properly

indigenous, and Asian American immigrant

teaching English, let alone other languages.

angst does not have a history of solidarity

Acknowledging the ways in which people of

with actual indigenous separatism projects

color can derive marginal benefits from this

(such as Hawaiian statehood over Hawaiian

paradigm, or even accepting blame for my

sovereignty.) Therefore, without land on

own situation, does not negate this.

which there’s a colonial regime that needs

American

assimilationist

In the US, the practice of “native language reclamation” (NLR)

is generally

associated with indigenous groups. Famously,

30 Personal Narratives

included and

dismantled,

reclaiming the

MIT

what’s

personal

investment in NLR for? Learning a language, of course, isn’t

could,

from

most,

assuage

loathing

skills,

which

tropey

presents

Without land on which there’s a colonial regime that needs to be dismantled, what’s my personal investment in NLR for? Sometimes, I think the state-backed cultural

homogenization

initiatives

that

Cantonese

would

theoretically

have

“intuitive” sense of how Cantonese sentences are “supposed to sound” and therefore would not find jyutping helpful. As expected, I found jyutping very helpful to learn the pronunciations (if not recreate the tones) pretty quickly, but this knowledge does not transfer. Historically, different dialects have been reconciled in the written form, so belatedly, I realize that even though Cantonese is also typically written with traditional characters, not simplified, this NLR angst could be mostly circumvented if I had just learned characters. One of my favorite daydream scenarios is what if I hit my head and when I woke up I could speak Mandarin? I think of all the passively

consumed

subtitled

Mandarin

media slipping into my subconscious and staying there, organizing itself and emerging to solve all my problems. Really, though, I should fantasize about magically coming to recognize characters as well, to absolve myself of contributing to putonghua hegemony, and then I’d have as much access to classical push

putonghua

standardized,

would be undue; also, I’m lazy. Sometimes,

poetry as I did to modern webtoons. Or, I

commonalized Mandarin) at the expense

it’s useful to conceive of Asian American-

should crack a book and study them myself.

ness as a specific, complete-on-its-own

assimilationism. But another complication of

identity instead of a watered-down form of

NLR is the question of whether it is inherently

Asian-ness, as it rationalizes the idea that

a retroactive process. What if the dialect your

academically learning the language defeats

ancestors spoke no longer exists with the

the self-orientalizing purpose of taking on a

same status or in the same context? If NLR is

more “ethnic” identity.

other

(modern,

dialects

are

comparable

historical, then what is modern is repatriation, and the pragmatic solution to repatriation and to daily life obstacles is putonghua (For someone like me who isn’t well acquainted with Asian pop culture, what I know of Hong Kong media feels stuck in the nineties. However, I can’t help but feel bad that it is no accident all of the Chinese-language media that I have the opportunity to consume today

Naomi is a CAS junior (SCA major, physics minor) from the Bay Area, California.

Sometimes, it’s useful to conceive of Asian Americanness as a specific, completeon-its-own identity instead of a watered-down form of Asian-ness.

is putonghua). My takeaways from a semester of

Unfortunately,

studying

Cantonese

Elementary Cantonese I are not even NLR,

does not translate over to proficiency in

though; contemporary Hong Kong Cantonese

Mandarin like I assumed it would. Jyutping,

is not my “native language.” My actual

the writing system used in Elementary I’s

“native language” is, for one, different

textbook, is designed for native English

on my mom’s and dad’s sides; two, not

speakers, resembling, but not identical to,

standardized; and three, is not taught because

the romanization systems invented by 19th-

it socially serves no one to learn it. The fact

century British missionaries. Using jyutping

Hong Kong Cantonese is technically a prestige

forces you to engage with your designation

dialect aside, I tell myself I am making an

effort to “decolonize my mind,” even though

speaker, because it follows that if jyutping

I don’t, and never will, have the capacity to

is unintuitive to you it’s because your native

reject English outright the way non-diasporic

language is something other than English.

subjects of empire do. Some people don’t

Chinese

have to try to be bilingual, working too hard

speakers with a longer relationship with

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foreigner/outsider/Westerner/English

American

“native”

Cantonese

Native Language Reclamation in Theory and Practice 31

“I wish I were Japanese.”

society suddenly eyed her job with distaste. A married woman could not be a career

It is a simple phrase, one that bleeds into

casual

conversation

worker—a job would undoubtedly distract her

strangers

from her duties as a wife. As the marriage ring

and cements itself in YouTube videos and

slipped onto Koto’s finger, so too did a silent

Facebook

usually

vow of absolute dependence on her husband

accompanied by thoughts of a similar nature:

and provider. She did not question it. After

posts.

The

with

phrase

all, a woman’s proper place was behind her “The people are so polite and respectful.”

husband.

“I love the culture.”

When I walk with Koto and Masahiko, there is a constant nagging in my mind. As I

“I want to move there.”

run between uncle and aunt, speeding up to match Masahiko’s stride and slowing down

“Japan is the best.”

to speak with Koto, I realize that I have never seen Koto walk in front of her husband. There

It is strange to hear this immense

is a common saying in Japan—an outdated

idolization of a nation, an almost fanatic

one but one that still wields power in the

love towards a foreign country. There is a

modern day. 三歩下がって歩く, or, “a woman

discomfort to having friends and passersby gush about the greatness of a nation when I am unable to recognize it myself. They envision Japan as being perfect. But the curtain of perfection distorts pain, and total admiration dismisses suffering. Japan—polite, respectful, perfect—does not provide this utopia to women. While there are numerous studies and statistics that emphasize this claim of sexism, I see it most clearly within my own mother’s family. The women I look up to and care for have had to bear the weight of the nation’s societal failures. My grandmother, Etsuko (though she is baba to me), has paper-thin skin resting over delicate and aged muscle. She is bony and short, yet constantly buzzing about, attending to my grandfather who sits in an armchair and reads the morning papers. I have only ever seen her in this role of servitude, but she tells me often that once, a long time ago, she was a fashion designer. She tells me that her work was her pride. That each stitch, each creation, fulfilled her and made her feel powerful. Then, in 1962, she was given an arranged marriage with Tadahiko. Japanese society established that the woman’s role, once married, was to stay at home. So she left her creations and her agency behind, and her identity became only

BL L Pulling Off the Rose-Colored Glasses By: Miya Shimazaki

A woman should be subservient, a woman should be protected, a woman should not dare rise up and become an equal to man.

that of wife and mother. should walk three steps behind [a man].”

32 Personal Narratives

A generation later found my aunt, Koto,

A woman should be subservient, a woman

employed in stock exchange. Her career

should be protected, a woman should not dare

was what she had spent years in university

rise up and become an equal to man. It could

studying and working for. Then, she became

be perceived as a metaphor, but in Koto’s life,

engaged to Masahiko. Friends, family, and

the mantra is reality.

“It’s so she won’t be lonely,” he says, When Koto and Masahiko had a child,

but his goals for Wakana rely on her marriage

they named her Wakana. Her name means

rather than her ambitions. So I watch, helpless,

Perhaps her generation will be the one to topple the misogyny that curls around the core of the nation.

as I see this societal misogyny begin to seep into my cousin’s skin. I watch as a twelveyear-old is subjected to the same values that have shut down the ambitions of her mother and her grandmother. I watch as family and country fail, year after year, to acknowledge and address the sexism that lies deep within.

peace and calmness, but her energy is unable to be contained in this bubble of “serenity.”

“I love the culture.”

She jumps around, she tells others what to do, and she puffs her chest out in constant

The praise becomes an irritant. Blind

pride. She is idealistic and excited, and her

love implies perfection. Blind love dismisses

determination to prove herself to others gives me hope for a brighter Japan. Perhaps

IND LOV E her generation will be the one to topple the

misogyny that curls around the core of the

nation. Perhaps her generation will be the one

failure. It creates a halo effect around a nation

that calls for, and then implements, change.

that cannot and should not deserve it. Yes,

I begin to hear her father commenting on his

Japan is host to a vast, storied history and

dreams of her future; of an acceptance to a

many wonderful things; at the same time,

great university, of the pursuit of education.

the nation continually pushes down and

He wants her to study business. That way, she

discriminates against half of its population.

I watch as family and country fail, year after year, to acknowledge and address the sexism that lies deep within.

Nothing—anime, matcha, architecture—can excuse this glaring failure. When we look at Japan, it is important to not only focus on what we like and appreciate, but also what we condone. We cannot ignore the prejudice and discrimination, even if it is wrapped inside

will be able to find a good man. She will be able

regressive standards within Japanese society.

to find a husband.

It is time we open our eyes.

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Steinhardt.

the guise of something beautiful. With blind love comes the acceptance of the deep-rooted

READ OUR BLOG

Miya is a senior studying English and Education at NYU

Illustrations by Kyousuke Shimazaki, a Character Animation freshman at CalArts.

Blind Love: Pulling Off the Rose-Colored Glasses 33

BURIED By: Kevin Tu I remember it perfectly.

felt dirty from their tacit encouragements towards “normalcy,” and away from my “queer lifestyle.” My intersectional identity as queer

Every breath I took, the light from the waning sun shining through the

and Asian American Pacific Islander (AAPI) had become restrictive.

restaurant’s window, and every beat my heart skipped as a deep nervousness rose from the pits of my stomach to the very edges of my lips.

But even then, I count myself lucky. The AAPI identity is not a monolith, and my experiences within the queer Asian community are not mirrored by others; some have been supportive. Working my

I knew this was it. We were celebrating the end of my internship and

internship last semester, I met an older Korean woman who was

my impending departure to China to study abroad for the rest of the

actively protesting for her trans son. She is an ardent ally to the

year.

LGBTQ+. Not only does she accept, but she fights for those she loves.

I had to say it now or else I never would.

However, most experiences have been discouraging. My queer Asian friends express adamant refusal at ever coming out. A close friend

“Dad, I’m bisexual.”

was disowned and homeless because he came out as trans. Many of us hide in the background, afraid to make waves because the

And just like that, five seconds I could never take back. I remember his face. He was slow to take it in. I could see it in his eyes; he was carefully thinking about what to say next. He decided to say nothing, so I continued. I told him what I’d been holding in: fear,

opposing tide could drown us. Our feet are sunk into the sand by

Many of us hide in the background, afraid to make waves because the opposing tide could drown us.

hope, anxiety, freedom. I assured him that I’m the same son he’d

way of being a minority in this “white space” called America, but

always known.

we sink lower into the ground as more and more of us realize we are LGBTQ+ as well.1

But that was just the beginning. I was still beholden to not only my identity as an LGBTQ+ individual, but also as an East Asian

Across the continent, homophobia manifests itself to differing degrees.

American: a mix of identities. In my East Asian household, we were

In Myanmar, Malaysia, and Brunei, LGBTQ+ people are punished

taught to marry someone of the opposite sex and bear children. I still

with life sentences, lashings, public humiliation, and in some cases

1 Corella, M. (2018). “I Feel Like Really Racist for Laughing.” Feeling It, 112–131.

34 Personal Narratives

Artwork by Cindy Qiang.

the threat of death.2 Many countries, including my mother country of China, recognize transgender individuals only after they receive sex reassignment surgery, which is a huge personal and financial hurdle. In South Asia, countries like Bangladesh, Bhutan, and

Prejudice has been, since its inception, an all-consuming flame that is lit by the spark of superstition and stoked by the survival of stigma.

Pakistan deem homosexual activity and partnerships a crime.3

To be queer and AAPI is to be at a crossroads.

To that end, I say this, as someone who has struggled all his life trying to be true to his Asian heritage while also wrestling with his own LGBTQ+ identity:

To be queer and AAPI is to be at a crossroads. At home, we hear our parents comment on homosexuality distastefully not knowing we

Please stand with us.

look desperately to them for acceptance. Our parents fought to be here, and we maintain a grateful kinship to them. But this is difficult

Help us keep our heads above the water.

as we are made to feel more and more disgusted at ourselves while our parents remain ignorant of the power of their words.

Thank you for your time and care in reading this. If you’re interested, please consider donating to the Trevor Project and AAPI LGBTQ+

We need allies, people who fight alongside us in our struggles. A good ally, like the aforementioned Korean mother, is one who

organizations, such as EquAsian and Queer Asian Spirit, both based in NYC!

understands their unconscious prejudices and who fights against them. An ally understands why we need Pride and how it helps us feel embraced amongst governments that would rather see us in

Kevin Tu is a senior at New York University, studying Marketing and Finance, with a minor in entertainment business. He is interested in writing about issues regarding racial intersectionality.

chains or buried. An ally educates others as well, acknowledging the privilege of being able to safely guide others to support LGBTQ+. Prejudice has been, since its inception, an all-consuming flame that is lit by the spark of superstition and stoked by the survival of stigma. We inherit a rich cultural history, but also one of oppression through ingrained values and societal expectations. 2 Boffey, D. (2019, April 22). Brunei defends death by stoning for gay sex in letter to EU. Retrieved from https://www.theguardian.com/world/2019/apr/22/brunei-defends-stoning-death-gaysex-letter-eu. 3 Khaleeli, H. (2014, April 16). Hijra: India’s third gender claims its place in law. Retrieved from https://www.theguardian.com/society/2014/apr/16/india-third-gender-claims-place-in-law. READ OUR BLOG

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Buried 35

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