APR 2013 - Issue 27

LOCAL BAND FEATURES - REVIEWS - GIGS - EVENTS - INTERVIEWS - GAMING - MOVIES - LIFE(STYLE) - FITNESS

APR 2013 - issue (27)

MUSIC

BLACK BALLOONS / BRIGHT SIDE THE DIFFERENCE: SOUL SHAKER EP

MOVIES

TRAINSPOTTING II FEATURE / JOHN DIES AT THE END / THE INCREDIBLE BURT WONDERSTONE / ROBOT AND FRANK / OZ: THE GREAT AND POWERFUL / IDENTITY THIEF / THE BAY

GAMES TOMB RAIDER / GOD OF WAR : ASCENSION / THE WALKING DEAD : SURVIVAL INSTINCT / GAMES NEWS

LIFE

Photo by webtreats @ Flickr.com

AWESOME BUDGET HOME CINEMA / THE CO’s MAKING MONEY ONLINE / HEALTHY FOODS ‘v’ BAD FOODS / MENTAL HEALTH WEEK / FEEDMENOW RECIPE / PHONE TABLET APPS&GAMES

TV/DVD THE END OF THE OFFICE / PITCH PERFECT / THE MAN WITH THE IRON FISTS / BEFORE DAWN / STITCHES / THE TALL MAN / MYMHM: 100 FEET www.goguidemagazine.co.uk

FITNESS WITH

T.O.D COACHING

CONTENT

BLACK BALLOONS

Contents

SEP 2012 - issue (21)

- - - - - - - MUSIC - - - - - - -

MENTAL HEATH W

BLACK BALLOONS (pg4) Indie pop rock at its best.

BRIGHT SIDE (pg8) Hardcore mini merger AAF + BHW = BS.

THE DIFFERENCE (pg12) Soul Shaker review

WHAT’S ON GUIDE (pg14) What’s on in the local area.

THE DIFFERENCE

- - - - - - LIFE(STYLE) - - - - - AWESOME BUDGET HOME CINEMA (pg20) THE CO’s MAKING MONEY ONLINE (pg32) HEALTHY FOODS ‘v’ BAD FOODS (pg34) MENTAL HEALTH WEEK (pg36) FEEDMENOW RECIPE (pg38) PHONE APPS (pg40)

TRAINSPOTTING II

ROBO No. 5 / SUPER STICKMAN GOLF 2

APPS/GAMES CHARTS (pg42)

Our top 10 FREE and PAID apps charts for Android and iPhones.

- - - FITNESS WITH T.O.D - - SUSPENSION TRAINING (pg46)

WHAT’S ON GUIDE

T.O.D. on suspension training

- - - - - - - MOVIES - - - - - - FEATURES

MOVIE NEW RELEASES (pg52)

All the new releases in cinemas this month.

MOVIE QUIZ (pg53)

This month its a new quiz - name the movies - answers on (pg131)

THIS MONTHS BOXOFFICE TOP 10 (pg56)

HOME CINEMA

REVIEWS & FEATURES

TRAINSPOTTING II FEATURE (pg60) RED DAWN (pg66) JOHN DIES AT THE END (pg70) THE INCREDIBLE BURT WONDERSTONE (pg74) ROBOT AND FRANK (pg76) OZ: THE GREAT AND POWERFUL (pg80) IDENTITY THIEF (pg82) THE BAY (pg86) Page 2

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APR 2013 - issue (27)

HEALTHY V UNHEALTHY

Wit to h us a

- - - - - - - TV & DVD - - - - - - TV NEWS (pg90)

X FACTOR / DR WHO

THE END OF THE OFFICE (pg92)

WEEK

The Top 10 DVDs of the moment.

DR WHO

NEW DVD’S OUT THIS MONTH (pg99)

T.O.D.

Some DVD’s being released this month

DVD REVIEWS (pg100)

PITCH PERFECT / THE MAN WITH THE IRON FISTS / BEFORE DAWN / STITCHES / THE TALL MAN

MOVIE YOU MIGHT HAVE MISSED (pg105) James’ MYMHM - with Mr Suit - 100 FEET

- - - - - - - GAMES - - - - - - GAME CHARTS (pg106)

Top 10 games across PS3, Xbox and PC. NEWS

GAME NEWS (pg107)

MS ‘Deal with it’ causes backlash / GTA shots REVIEWS & FEATURES

TOMB RAIDER (pg114) GOD OF WAR : ASCENSION (pg118) THE WALKING DEAD : SURVIVAL INSTINCT (pg122)

- - - - - - - OUT & ABOUT - - - - - - O&A (pg136)

Out and about with some great indoor and outdoor stuff to get up to in the local area

THE INCREDIBLE BURT WONDERSTONE

QUIZ ANSWERS (pg131) CLASSIC MOVIE POSTERS (back page 132) We take a look back at some classic movie posters.

THE WALKING DEAD

Who are GOGUIDE...???

We try to ensure our information is correct before uploading but some details are subject to change. PLEASE check online or with each location directly for fully up to date information.

GUIDE is a local online magazine for the West Lothian area. We are trying to be less focused on local ‘news’ and more a, ‘what’s or ‘happening’ guide to the local area. At the moment we are heavily focused on the whats going on in the local music scene, ats on and good @ the movies and what is happening in the world of PC/Console gaming.

e do have a pretty modern approach to GoGuide content and eventually hope to produce articles on subjects outside our usual ff such as Clubbing, Internet, Lifestyle, Sport and Fitness etc.

ww.goguidemagazine.co.uk - www.myspace.com/goguide - www.facebook.com/GoGuideMagazineWestLothian

th the vast majority of our content sourced from local contributors we are always on the lookout for new people to bring onboard help us provide input to this content hungry mag so if your keen on writing stuff and getting it published in the mag feel free to drop PAGE 3 APR 2013 - issue (27) a message at content@goguidemagazine.co.uk

MUSIC

FEATURE

BL ACK BALLOONS

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B

lack Balloons is a band that has been on our minds here at GoGuide for a while now and we just never seemed to get around to doing our wee bit on them. They released their debut EP back in summer 2012 and to say that it’s an ‘accomplished’ debut would probably be a wee bit of an understatement.

It’s actually very, very, very good if you are into that indie/pop/rock scene then its right up your street.

The band was formed at the beginning of 2012 and consists of Kevin Murray (Muzz) on vocal and guitar duties, Chris Meehan on main guitar, Glen Telford on bass and vocals and finally Oj Wicksted on drums.

big producers get paid for isn’t it? to take those wee snippets of genius and turn them into our nest summer shout-a-longs.

The second track on the EP Plastic Prayers is a different kettle of fish and hints at the bands diversity and again once you get past the first impressions you will fall completely in love with this song. It builds from the start with a nice pulsing intro and verse before exploding in your face into crashing choruses and Muzz hits us with a grittier vocal in the fashion of say Glasvegas more than any of the poppier things on offer. It ends in sea of passion and rounds the EP off in what a lot of bands miss when doing their own EP’s and that is ‘wanting MORE’.

So of course immediately we play Rascal again and that was pretty much the story for weeks after its release.

Appearance wise Black Balloons don’t really look like your typical indie pop rock band either, I could be wrong but I’m guessing they are perhaps a wee bit older than you would expect and I for one wouldn’t be able to tell what they were going

I like an active band and these guys seem to have got it right and spend quite a bit of time playing live and doing other stuff as opposed to some who just seem to want to record demos and little else.

The guys have been busy playing all over the central belt in places like Greenside, supporting ‘Tango in the Attic’, ‘The Soft Pack’ at Glasgow's infamous King Tut's Wah Wah Hut and a host of other places and people too cool to mention.

Recently they even managed to play down at Somerset in early April as part of the Glastonbury Emerging Talent competition with the overall prize being a chance to play on the Pyramid Stage at this years Glastonbury Festival. Initially

2012’s Rascal/Plastic Prayers EP

Now before we go any further let’s cover what, for us anyway, is going to be the obvious comparisons when you first hear the bands opening tack on their EP and that’s to that of The View!!! Well, sure, not only do Black Balloons share a similar ‘initial’ sound-alike quality but front man Muzz bears a canny resemblance to Kyle from The View, something that I’m guessing the band have hear before so let’s very quickly dismiss that and concentrate on looking a wee bit deeper. Once you scratch below the surface of Rascal/Plastic Prayers you find something completely different.

Opener Rascal is a killer track and would have any crowd bouncing on their feet throughout its driving verses and chorus that, handed to a ‘chart’ producer, would instantly become a massive hit as the track is jam packed with hook lines that haven’t quite been utilised to their fullest. But hey, that’s what these

to sound like until I heard them play.

It’s a surprise, but a pleasant one.

Don’t get me wrong it’s not that they look like Metalheads and sound like Leon Jackson (wee plug there for Leon), I’m just really bad for forming an idea of how a band are going to sound before I’ve listened to them, a bad habit I know, like judging a book by its cover… well we ALL know we shouldn’t do that and Black Balloons are a prime example of that.

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MUSIC

2013’s Black Balloons EP

Images © of band/original owner

Words by Mr Suit for GoGuide Magazine

Contributor

FEATURE

www.facebook.com/BlackBalloonsTunes the band submitted a track and the judging panel chose the final 8 from an estimated 8000 entries to perform live for them in the hope of winning that awesome prize.

So right up to date now and Sneaky Pete’s in Edinburgh saw the launch of the bands second audio release with the ‘Black Balloons’ EP on Sat 16th March 2012. With a track listing of Follow Me, This House, Pills and Where I Lay My Head.

It’s a slightly more laid back but impressive collection of 4 songs from the guys compared to Rascal but is goes a long way to showing off just how different the guys are to a quick surface scan of what they do. Opener ‘Follow Me’ kicks things off nicely with a super cool wee intro which quickly settles into a proper fist pumpin’ shoutfest and sets the pace well leading to ‘Pills’ which takes us down a wee bit in the Page 6

energy stakes but gives you a real chance to appreciate the vocal work

by Muzz to full effect. Let’s not skip over the simple but engaging guitar work provided by throughout the EP’s by Meehan, never ever over the top it works well with all the tracks, it actually lifts them to something pretty unique, it’s there, you can hear it, then it kinda prods at you sometimes and then, sometimes when you least expect it, it shouts right in your face demanding you devote all your attention to it, a pretty cool achievement. That brings us to the standout track on the EP in ‘This House’, then guys actually released their debut video to accompany this song and I’d seriously advise you watch the vid and tell me any difference between this and any other band of a similar genre in the charts at the moment…

I’ll answer that for you, you probably can’t. The song is simply a stormer APR 2013 - issue (27)

of a tune with bucket loads of what looks like becoming the hallmark of a Black Balloons track, its jumpy, quirky, driving and has a smack in the face chorus that I’m guessing gets sung right back at them at every show they play as the crowd punches the air with every beat. I love the mostly clean/delay guitar work by Meehan and it’s during this track that you really do get to appreciate the work done by Telford and Wicksted on bass and drums, it’s a thundering foundation that these guys produce and it only slows to rebuild the passion when needed.

EP closer ‘Where I Lay My Head’ is a simply tune to calm things down and let you catch breath a wee bit.

Overall, so far, defo one of the best new releases for 2013 so go buy it…!!!!

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MUSIC

FEATURE

B

right Side come to us with a hint of sadness attached to them as, although these things happen all the time, their forming has inadvertently seen the demise of a couple of other bands whose members included those of this band. Now that is not a necessarily a bad thing as bands are living breathing things and sometimes things just need to change.

I remember once a conversation I had sat in a bar in Cumbernauld with my cousin, the drummer from a well-known Scottish band from that location that sadly are no longer around anymore. It was at their height and they were playing to sold out shows wherever they Page 8

went and had just played on one of the outside T in the Park stages, can’t recall which one, He explained how they started life as just another teenage band but eventually he and another member came to the decision that they wanted their band to be successful at what they did so they systematically went round watching bands until they found people that they thought were really good and approached these people and asked them to join their band, kicking out the members they though just couldn’t cut it.

It worked and they soon signed a £100,000+ record deal for 2 albums that allowed them all to move into doing music full-time as a band.

Anyway that’s another story, back to Bright Side, formed in 2012 by members of the two main metalcore’ish bands in the local area Ali (Vocals: Ex-As Autumn Falls) and Ross Livingstone (Guitar) and Paul McGoogan (Drums) both Ex-Behind Hollow Walls and Kev (Bass). The band produce a sound much akin to metalcore but of a simpler tone and more leaning towards metalpunk if APR 2013 - issue (27)

you wanna call it that, or punkcore even. They like to call it ‘Melodic Hardcore Punk’ but I tend to think of hardcore punk as a just wee bit faster than the flavour that Bright Side serve up.

The band have kicked off with a vengeance though since they started gigging back on a cold night in October 2012 at Banshee Labyrinth in Edinburgh, and now have a fair amount of appearances under their belt, cutting their teeth in places like Banshee Labyrinth, Pj Molly's and on their travels to the likes of The Carlton in Aberdeen.

Up and coming shows in the next couple of months see the guys take in Audio, Studio 24, Stereo and Verden Studios playing alongside some top bands.

Early 2013 saw the release of the bands debut Demo/EP in the shape of ‘Face The Unknown’, available in no less than ‘Audio Tape’ form for all you retro buffs out there… surely tape is more expensive than CD’s in this day and age?

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Images

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ww.face

otions

MUSIC

Images © BLUNT @ http://www.facebook.com/BLNT.Promotions

FEATURE

Face The Unknown is the bands first foray in the studio and was actually recorded and mixed by Ex-As Autumn Falls drummer Jamie Mulcahy of JM Productions and features 3 tracks Weight Of The World, In Remembrance and Face The Unknown. The EP sounds big as f*ck and really suits being played really loud. Opener ‘Face The Unknown’ just slaughters you with the only respite actually being the opening few bars of ??????’s guitar which sounds huge.

‘In Remembrance’ is a mellower track that kinda swaggers around like a drunk guy at a festival which then builds to a clear cut hardcore punk tune in the Gallows fashion for me, be it maybe a tad slow for some but for me I really like it. I like the

that the guys

direction

are going in and the fact that there isn’t really a metal riff in site only endears me more to it, I suppose ‘I will take it from my hearts into the grave’.

Lastly we get to EP title track ‘Face The Unknown’ which starts off pretty unassuming but builds to one simple muthertrucker of an onslaught with frontman Ali’s trademark passion filled screaming coming into their own over some slick guitar work by Ross Livingstone. A fitting end to a top EP for all you …core fans out there. If you’re into the same thing as the guys aka Break Even, Touché Amoré, Comeback Kid, This Is Hell and Landscapes then get yourself online for a copy of their EP and along to a gig as Bright Side look as if they put on one hell of a show.

Download the Demo/EP for FREE on the bands Bandcamp page here Words by Mr Suit for GoGuide Magazine www.brightsideuk.bandcamp.com/ album/face-the-unknown Contributor

www.facebook.com/wearebrightsideuk Page 10

APR 2013 - issue (27)

J M RECORDINGS offers high quality, polished recordings at very reasonable price across ALL genres. Working with full bands, duo’s and solo artists is never a problem and there are special rates for multiple track recordings such as EP’s or Albums.

For a quote please email me with your band name as the subject and include how many songs you would like to record, ideal recording dates and any website info.

I also offer remixes, mastering and tracking services, please email for a quote.

If required, drum tracks are recorded at a location/studio of your choice with bass,guitars and vocals all tracked and mixed at my Edinburgh based home studio.

APR 2013 - issue (27)

PAGE 11 jmrecordings@hotmail.co.uk www.facebook.com/jmrecordings

MUSIC

FEATURE

THE DIFF The Dif T

hose local Brit rockers The Difference have a brand new EP out soon simply called the Soul Shaker EP and you can get a sneak online peek at it on Soundcloud now by visiting the guys page.

There is no doubting that The Difference are simply Page 12

a balls our British rock band with no real frills or airs ‘n’ graces. They take no prisoners and prefer to just smack you on the head with a good few blistering riffs and in your face simple singalong tunes.

The band were formed back in 2012 with Chrissy Hall (Vocals), Niall McNaughtan (Rhythm Guitar), APR 2013 - issue (27)

Tam McBroom (Bass/ vocals), Ross Lyon (Lead Guitar) and Ryan Smith (Drums) and the EP will be their official debut release.

The Soul Shaker EP comes with 4 ear splitting tracks best played with the dial closer to the 10 than the 1 as that’s how rock is supposed to be listened to be is it not. The first track on the EP is the title track ‘Soul Shaker’ and it’s just a good all round out and out rock ditty with simple vocals in a singalong type of fashion

FERENCE fference which I’m guessing goes down a storm live. Halls vocals flirt between classic rock but every now and then remind me of Axel Rose, which is a bit bizarre over a classic rock vibe. Track 2 ‘Whisper’ is a more ambient track which relies on the McBroom and Smith backline to carry most of the tune throughout with just a sprinkling of simple guitar work and an easy on the ear vocal. ‘Cash or Bust’ keeps the more laid back feeling going with a kinda Black Rebel Motorcycle Club’esque vibe with a distorted bass forming the main driving force in the

song only broken by stabbing guitar chops. EP closer ‘Control’ picks things up a tad for a whirlwind rockout relying more on the vocals and guitar riffeage than the previous tracks.

All in all a good solid debut from the guys. Checkout the guys site to hear the EP in full and catch them live whenever you can.

Words by Mr Suit for GoGuide Magazine Contributor

APR 2013 - issue (27)

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MUSIC

FEATURE

WHAT’S ON...

APRIL

CHECKOUT OUR EVENTS PAGE @ WWW.GOGUIDEMAGAZINE.CO.UK/WORDPRESS/EVENTS-CALENDAR OR THE BANDS & VENUES SITE FOR FULL DETAILS

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Saturday April 20, 2013

10:30am

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LIFE(STYLE)

AN AWESOME

HOME CINEMA FEATURE

T

he days of spending small fortunes on getting that Cinema feel in your own home are long gone.

Advancements in modern technology means that a setup based around a PC or Games Console have ruled out the need for high end HiFi equipment and expensive media players to get results that would completely satisfy all but the most ardent movie lover or gamer.

HD projectors are now regularly Page 20

Photo © rcsproav.co.uk

ON A TINY BUDGET

taking the place of large screen TV’s as prices fall and quality rapidly becomes up there with what you could get from a regular priced TV. BUT remember your getting somewhere in the region of a 120” + screen with a HD projector.

A projector by no means is supposed to replace your TV as daylight viewing on anything but the very higher end equipment isn’t advised and for best viewing a projector needs a certain level of darkness for you to appreciate it.

So let’s think about it, for the purpose of our wee imagined home cinema let’s say that you will use a normal TV for daily use and only use the cinema for use at night OR with blackout screens. I’m not going to go too in depth into the equipment APR 2013 - issue (27)

but more just give you a sample of what’s out there for what I would consider a CHEAP home cinema.

Initially what appears to be an expensive luxury item is actually pretty inexpensive when you start to look a little deeper into what equipment you need to do all of the things you might want need to do with it. As this is a ‘home cinema’ feature i am going to presume that you already have something to play your media on be it in disk or file form like either a DVD/Blu-Ray player, games console, PC or Laptop.

OK, so your PC, Laptop and console, that you already own, can play either DVD's or BLURAY's AND various media files like songs, video and pics so you’re off to a flying

PCW120GE Remote Control Powered screen from Amazon

start. You might even already have the luxury of a separate player, if not a full function media player can be picked up for a lot less than you would imagine. The Samsung BDE5500 3D Blu-ray Player with Smart Hub is an all singing all dancing box of tricks that can be purchased new for less than £80 (minus speakers) and it will give you a massive amount of options for playing content and online functionality built right into the box (were gonna dismiss the 3D capabilities for now but it potentially future proofs your system for a potential upgrade to a 3D projector later on).

With your media source already in place in some form or another there are only 3 purchases you need to get your entertainment system up and running. A HD Projector, a sound system and a screen. You can use a bare painted wall and get pretty impressive results but you should at least do some prep work and repaint. You can get stunning results using special paint designed to be used with projectors but a decent 120" screen can costs as little as £70 and will give you a good deal better colours than a plain painted wall.

On this occasion I’d recommend a proper screen as we’re going to be choosing an entry level projector the screen will help get the best from it so I'm going to presume that you’re getting a proper screen. So, our first purchase, a simple 120” screen (that’s a massive 10ft or 3048 mm) You can get a simple manually operated screen for less than £100 but we’re going for a bit better with a powered model with the PCW120GE from Amazon at £115 which is motorised and remote controlled, so that’s done and a steal at the price with great 5 STAR reviews from all its users.

Next we move on to the sound system. Most, if not all, projectors will need a set of external speakers in order to get the best from your setup. I would look at purchasing a good 5.1 surround system with multiple inputs to allow for future growth and for the connection of a number of devices like your sky/ cable, laptop/pc, console, ipod and the list will go on, something like the LG SR906B 5.1 3D Receiver System which Is a combined receiver and speaker set on its own for less than £170. For those perhaps without a media source you can pick up a system like the Samsung HT-E4500 3D which is a 1000W 5.1 Channel

The Samsung Smart Hub home screen

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LIFE(STYLE)

FEATURE

Blu-ray based SMART Home Cinema System which ads Media Hub ready Blu-Ray player to the system for you for only £200.

Next we focus on the main part of your system the HD projector. New sure, you can easily spend anywhere upwards a £1000 on these but we are actually going to choose a model that gets rave reviews and comes in at just under £400, the Optoma HD600X-LV. This is a stunning projector which although only running at 720p will give all but the most critical eye astounding results for its very small price tag. It’s not a

full 1080p model but I'm convinced that you will be more than satisfied with the results. At the moment 1080p models world simply cost too much and potentially put our dream beyond reach. It you can afford it though then do look at the Optima 1080p range as they are pretty sweet pieces of kit.

So into total to get our system completely up and running we have spent : Screen = £115 Surround Sound = £170 HD Projector = £400

That's a total of just under £700 for truly different and amazing home movie and gaming experience that I am sure you won’t be disappointed with. It will do absolutely everything you want and MORE. If you do decide to go that extra mile or fancy splashing out and setting your system in a more appropriate setting checkout some of my own Dream Home Cinemas...

Mr Suit for GoGuide Magazine

Contributor

Projector screens are available in fixed, manual roll up or motorized roll up versions so there is usually an option that suits any situation.

Samsung HT-E4500 3D

The most popular being a roll down type that fits on the wall/roof above the regular TV. This allows viewing of all your connected devices during the day on the TV but at night swapping to your projector which can be mounted on the roof, the wall or a shelving unit etc. opposite the TV.

Optoma HD600X-LV

LG SR906B 5.1 3D Receiver System

Partially complete Projector screen installed showing it up and down (pic © masteravservices.co.uk) Page 22

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Photo © geckohomecinema.com

THE INTEGRATED APPROACH

First off we look at projector screen home cinemas that have been incorporated into peoples normal living areas.

Photo L/R © punit12 @ avforums.com / finestlodges.com / dc-cifrus.ru

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LIFE(STYLE)

Photo © rayleighhifi.com

FEATURE

DEDICATED SPACE

Next here we have some cinemas where small’ish garage/dining room sized areas have been dedicated to the home cinema setup and nothing else. No need to splash out on any higher spec systems other than our £700 one detailed as they can easily handle this type of install, all the additional spending would be on your design/build out.

Photo © starscape.co.uk

Photo © proscreens.co.uk

Photo © starscape.co.uk

Photo © see-av.com

Photo © fogsmoviereviews.com

Photo © Phil.LFC @ avforums.com

Photo © fogsmoviereviews.com

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Photo © hsmservices.ca

BIGGER AND BETTER

Now we move on to some Home Cinema which have been setup with a bit more space and some bigger budgets.

Photo L/R © exd.co.in / home-hunts.net / insideci.co.uk Photo © thepleasurehome.com

Photos below L/R © insideci.co.uk / starscape.co.uk / cinemadesigngroup.com

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LIFE(STYLE)

Photo Š gizmodo.com

FEATURE

ULTIMATE EXPERIENCE

If space is a non-issue and you a blessed with a bulging wallet the world is your oyster... You can basically fill your room with the best of the best and let your imagination run wild. Whether it is a super high tec look, art deco styling or your fan of the really wacky checkout some Ultimate Home Cinema builds out there.

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APR 2013 - issue (27) Photo Š thehometheaterbook.com

Photo © harmanhighperformance.blogspot.com

Photos below L/R © hometheater.com / michigan-home-theater.com

Photos below L/R © michigan-home-theater.com

Photos below L/R © michigan-home-theater.com

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Photo © thehometheaterbook.com

FEATURE

ULTIMATE EXPERIENCE We continue our look at some amazing Home Cinemas.

Photo © michigan-home-theater.com

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Photo © telluride-rentals.com

Photo © thesourceav.com

Photo © gizmodo.com.au

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Photo © gizmodo.com.au

FEATURE

Photo © gizmodo.com.au

Photo © michigan-home-theater.com

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FEATURE

e live in a modern world where the internet rules! Billions are spent every day across a massive infrastructure of ecommerce sites and shops not to mention a host of service providers who offer

a plethora of stuff for us to enjoy, sometimes for free, sometimes at a price.

Online you can literally carry out everything you need in you daily life, rightly or not, there are people at there that are doing it. You can chat, you can shop, you can listen to almost every song recorded, watch almost every movie made, find out everything about anything, you can bank, run a business, remotely work from, and to, anywhere in the world

E-BAY

With a combination of fees recouped from % of sales made on their site and advertising revenue E-Bay manages to generate almost $3 billion of turnover annually and boss John Donahoe is reputed to be on a salary of almost $14 million per year. So, yes a pretty strong company making a killing for what is in essence just a bit of software.

Do they make Money? - YES

FACEBOOK

No need to explain about this site but how do they get cash? Well at the moment they rely entirely on advertising revenue and income from Facebook credits used in games etc. In 2012 it is estimated they had revenue of $ 6 Billion, so again pretty tidy sums being raked in. Those sums also do not include investments from share issues and other company connections.

Do they make Money? - YES

INSTAGRAM

This was fast becoming 'the' place to share your pics until Facebook snapped it up. Before that the service was not taking any revenue from any streams at all, what they were doing was taking users away from sharing images on Facebook hence I'd guess that was the real reason for the purchase. Instagram continues to offer its services for free and makes no ; income.

Do they make Money? - NO

LINKED IN

Used mainly by business people as a social networking site and for job hunting. Income is generated through Advertising, Subscriptions and selling data. 2012 revenue reached almost $ l Billion so LinkedIn makes a few pounds each year.

Do they make Money? - YES

NETFLIX

Fast becoming the choice of the online more buff for their movie and TV shows Netflix pulls in all their revenue from customer subscriptions and their turnover reached almost $ 4 Billion Do they make Money? - YES Page 32

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and any number of other things that you can think of. There are people becoming multi-millionaires every day from their online work and it is also one of the highest paid ‘manual’ jobs on the planet for those only looking for a 9 to 5 job.

So with all this going on just how do some of these internet people make their money ? we looked at a few of these companies be see how they go about generating income and just how good are they ?

SKYPE

For most their chosen contact method after a normal phone. Money Is made by a combination at subscribers and the purchase of additional 'functionality' by users . Turnover In 2011 peaked at just below $ 500 million which has forced Skype owners to look at having ads between users calls.

Do they make Money? - YES

TWITTER

up there with Facebook as 'the' social medium to use for both personal and business users. Cash is made solely from advertising and they pulled in $ 350 million in 2012 but predictions Indicate they are target to break the $ l Billion barrier in 2013 .

Do they make Money? - YES

SPOTIFY

One of the bigger music sharing sites around, where users can listen to a huge Qty of tracks from almost every artist under the sun. There are both subscription accounts and free account types and Spotify make their money through combined adverts and subscribers. Spotify are currently in the process of negotiating with their artist and agent roster for a bigger chunk of cash from them as they seem to be finding it difficult to Make a profit and in 2011 they posted a loss of around $60 million , 2012 was reportedly a better year but figures seem to be rather difficult to come by so I'm guessing things perhaps didn't turn out as good as they thought.

Do they make Money? - NO

TUMBLR

The new kid on the block as Far as 'blogging' Is concerned but Tumblr Is a pretty good platform and seems to be holding up in the face of stiff competition from other blog services. Revenue comes from Theme services and paid inclusion in their premium directory only. The real money to keep Tumblr going They are investor funded.

Do they make Money? - NO

WORDPRESS

Probably the 'daddy' of blog services Word press has almost 63 million blogs running on their platform . Money comes from small advertising streams and premium services, themes and plugins etc. 2012 saw Wordpress raking in almost $ 50 million.

Do they make Money? - YES So from what we can see most of our staple websites are all enjoying a healthy income stream but we can also see that there are some wee eye openers out there that show that sometimes things can go a little pear shaped from time to time.

Mr Suit for GoGuide Magazine

Contributor

APR 2013 - issue (27)

PAGE 33

LIFE(STYLE)

are u love to eat that yo s od fo e ar e er th , lancing act e for most people od for you, its a ba go e ar ating well is a chor at th t ea to h of the stuff ods you hate you with just a touc bad for you and fo r fo od go ’s at th me stuff stuff ? between having so a touch of the bad st ju hy W u. yo r fo that ’s bad d the ALLY bad for you an RE is u yo r fo d ba that ’s a quick e usually the stuff benefit rather than rm te ng lo a Well that ’s becaus be stuff. to od and some bad you is more likely r go e fo m od so go of ’s e at pl th am stuff a tiny ex azine through here’s just for GoGuide Mag fix.... To help you Christine McTavish Contributor

E

FEATURE

HEALTHY FOOD

APPLES - are an excellent source of antioxidants, which combat free radicals, damaging substances generated in the body that cause undesirable changes and are involved in the aging process and some diseases. study found that adult females who regularly ate apples had a 13% to 22% lower risk of developing heart disease.

BROCCOLI - is rich in fiber, folate, potassium, calcium and phytonutrients. Phytonutrients are compounds which reduce the risk of developing heart disease, diabetes and some cancers. Broccoli also contains beta-carotene, an antioxidant, as well as vitamin C. OILY FISH - Examples of oily fish include salmon, trout, mackerel, herring, sardines and anchovies.

These types of fish have oil in their tissues and around the gut. Their lean fillets contain up to 30% oil, specifically, omega-3 fatty acids.

These oils are known to provide benefits for the heart, as well as the nervous system. Oily fish are also known to provide benefits for patients with inflammatory conditions, such as arthritis. Oily fish also contain vitamins A and D LEAFY GREEN VEG - Studies have shown that a high intake of dark-leafy vegetables, such as spinach or cabbage may significantly lower a person's risk of developing diabetes type For even more good foods checkout 2. Researchers from Leicester University, England, said the entire article @ that the impact of dark green vegetables on human health www.medicalnewstoday.com/ articles/245259.php should be investigated further, after they gathered data from six studies. Spinach, for example, is very rich in antioxidants, especially when uncooked, steamed or very lightly boiled. It is a good source of vitamins A, B6, C, E and K, as well as selenium, niacin, zinc, phosphorus, copper, folic acid, potassium, calcium, manganese, betaine, and iron.

ALMONDS are rich in nutrients, including iron, calcium, vitamin E, fiber, riboflavin, and magnesium.

Almonds as a food may help maintain healthy cholesterol levels. Almonds themselves, are a hearthealthy snack, when almonds are incorporated into a healthy, balanced diet, the benefits are even greater. The fatty acid profile of almonds, which is made up of 91-94% unsaturated fatty acids, may partly explain why it helps maintain healthy cholesterol levels. Almonds also have the highest fiber content of any tree nut.

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APR 2013 - issue (27)

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/245259.php

‘v’ Pic © lockstockb @ www.sxc.hu

UNHEALTHY FOO

DS

STICK MARGARINE Most brands of stick margarine are loaded with trans fat the toxic fat that increases bad cholesterol, lowers good cholesterol, promotes clotting, and damages blood vessels. And, at 100 calories per tablespoon, this heartbreaker isn't doing your waistline any good, either.

FIZZY JUICE one hundred percent of the calories in regular soda come from sugar or high-fructose corn syrup, that's why it's called "liquid candy." In fact, these empty liquid calories are largely responsible for fueling our nation's obesity epidemic. Drinking soda also damages your teeth and promotes cavity formation and some studies show cola may weaken your bones. Instead of guzzling soft drinks to quench your thirst, try good old-fashioned water.

HOT DOGS up to 80 percent of the calories in regular hot dogs come from fat, and much of it is the unhealthy saturated type. Regularly eating processed meats like hot dogs has been linked to increased risk of heart disease and colon cancer. Swap your hot dogs for lean chicken or turkey sausages, you get far less fat and more high-quality protein.

MOVIE-THEATER popcorn is a calorie and fat disaster! Most theatres pop their kernels in exorbitant quantities of coconut oil, which is more than 90 percent saturated fat, that's the type of fat you should be trying to dramatically limit in your diet. A medium size can be piled high with up to 20 cups of greasy popcorn, which will cost you 1,200 calories.

For even more foods to watch out for checkout the entire article @ www.joybauer.com/photo-gallery/8-Foods-toAvoid-at-All-Costs.aspx

DEEP-DISH PIZZA the hallmark of deep-dish pizza is its thick, dense crust. Admittedly, it does taste great, but all that excess dough jacks up the calorie and carb count in your pizza dramatically. Whole-milk cheese and greasy meat toppings like sausage, pepperoni, and bacon, and a two-slice serving could shock your system with about 1,300 calories and 24 grams of artery-clogging saturated fat that's more than an entire day's allowance.

APR 2013 - issue (27)

Scale Pic © Kozzi.com

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LIFE(STYLE)

Image Š mentalhealth.org.uk

FEATURE

R

ecent evidence suggests that good nutrition is essential for our mental health and that a number of mental health conditions may be influenced by dietary factors. One of the most obvious, yet underrecognised factors in the development of major trends in mental health is the role of nutrition. The body of evidence linking

diet and mental health is growing at a rapid pace. As well as its impact on short and long-term mental health, the evidence indicates that food plays an important contributing role in the development, management and prevention of specific mental health problems such as depression, schizophrenia, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, and Alzheimer’s

disease.

Nearly two thirds of those who do not report daily mental health problems eat fresh fruit or fruit juice every day, compared with less than half of those who do report daily mental health problems.

This pattern is similar for fresh vegetables and salad. Those who report some level of mental health problem also eat fewer healthy foods (fresh fruit and vegetables, organic foods and meals made from scratch) and more unhealthy foods (chips and crisps, chocolate, ready meals and takeaways).

A balanced mood and feelings of

Image Š mentalhealth.org.uk

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APR 2013 - issue (27)

wellbeing can be protected by ensuring that our diet provides adequate amounts of complex carbohydrates, essential fats, amino acids, vitamins and minerals and water. While a healthy diet can help recovery, it should sit alongside other treatments recommended by your doctor.

MAINTAIN A HEALTHY WEIGHT.

Image © mentalhealth.org.uk

Depression affects different people in different ways. Some people lose interest in food or can’t motivate themselves to shop and cook, so lose weight. Others find they want to eat more and gain weight when they are unhappy. Some medications can also increase or

decrease your appetite – if you are concerned that the medication you are taking has made your weight problems worse, speak to your doctor. Both excessive weight loss or weight gain can make your mood worse and should be avoided.

Weight loss and lack of good nutrition will deprive the brain of glucose and the other nutrients that control mood – you may need the advice of a dietitian to help you overcome this problem. Putting on weight unintentionally or feeling out of control of your eating can increase your depression and can lead to yo-yo dieting, which leaves you further out of control. If you are overweight, follow the advice on

healthy eating but be extra careful to limit your fat and sugar intake (no fries, pies, cakes, puddings, sweets, chocolate or sweet drinks), use less fat in cooking, reduce your alcohol consumption, avoid sugary drinks, and increase your exercise levels.

For more information look see the following link. www.mentalhealth.org.uk/helpinformation/mental-health-a-z/D/ diet/ Information from www. mentalhealth.org.uk Christine McTavish for GoGuide Magazine

Contributor

Mental Health Awareness Week 13-19 May

L

ife at times can get so stressful you feel like your drowning in hte middle of it all and still trying to carry on each day as if everythings 'normal'. Could be you have a friend that just never seems to get a break, always upset and crying, angry, then happy and hysterical possibly all in one day? Everyone needs a break and a helping hand when times are tough and theres things you do not understand.

Most people will have had some sort of

experience with mental health problems, either themselves a relative or friend, even in a work place. It's important to find a way to reach that level of peace and calm that helps you think clearly.

Finding what works best for you or someone else can take time and trial and error there is lots of various relaxation methods and information available.

Mental Health Awareness Week runs from 13-19 May and is themed around physical activity and wellbeing.

Physical activity is often described as something we ‘ought to do’ to avoid developing health problems APR 2013 - issue (27)

such as diabetes and heart disease.

What's less often explained is the huge potential it has to enhance our happiness and quality of life and reduce mental illness. This year’s Mental Health Awareness Week aims to shift our motivation for physical activity to something we choose to do to increase our wellbeing. The success of Mental Health Awareness Week is down to the generous and enthusiastic support we get from organisations and individuals, who publicise the week, organise activities and events and hopefully have some fun as well.

For more information and get involved see www. mentalhealth.org.uk/our-work/ mentalhealthawarenessweek/getinvolved/

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LIFE(STYLE)

FEEDME FEEDMENOW FEATURE

Christine McTavish for GoGuide Magazine

Contributor

Image © BBC

Page 38

APR 2013 - issue (27)

The less items the better for cooking right? well... here’s a recipe that will feed a hungry family of 4 with only 3 main ingredients. You can serve it with any side dishes that you and your kids/guests like. It’s freezable and is even low on fat... what are you waiting for?

Preparation and cooking times Prep time: Even for me this is a quick and easy 5 mins Cook time: 20 mins

Ingredients 4 skinless, boneless chicken breasts 25g garlic butter, softened 25g crispy breadcrumbs

That’s it THREE, told you it was really, now to work...

Stick the chicken onto a baking tray and give it a good rub with a small piece of the garlic butter, now season it with whatever you prefer and have a notion for.

Put it under the grill for about 15 mins to cook but keep checking it (it is a grill right?, and burns everything when you turn your back). Turn it once during the 15 mins and make sure it’s cooked throughout.

Now we get a wee bit messy again, mix the garlic butter you have left with the breadcrumbs. Take the chicken out and cover it with a good coating of the bready-butter stuff and throw it back under the grill for another 3-5 mins checking until the breadcrumbs are just golden brown and the butter is well and truly dribbling down the sides. Keep those juices and pour over the chicken pieces as you serve.

For a spicy alternative try sticking a tablespoon of korma paste in when mixing the breadcrumbs with the garlic butter… it’s awesome..

The Nutritional values per serving are: 218 kcalories, protein 34g, carbohydrate 5g, fat 7 g, saturated fat 4g, fibre 0g, salt 0.37 g Inspired by a recipe for ‘Inside Out Chicken Kiev’ that i found in the BBC App - get it the app for FREE @ www.itunes.apple.com/gb/app/bbc-good-food-recipes-tools/id533785308?mt=8 www.play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.bbc.gfrtact&hl=en APR 2013 - issue (27)

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LIFE(STYLE) TECH - PHONE APPS

ROBO NO. 5

N

ow We all know that robots are evil and have only one thing on their mechanical minds.... Right?

Taking over.... THE WORLD (insert evil laugh here) Robo No. 5 Is a wee bit different, all he/she/it seems to want to do is climb an ever increasing mountain of boxes.

It is basically a pretty good looking puzzle game with some nice grungy HD graphics, smooth animation and a really easy control mechanism.

You basically control a cutesy wee humanoid dude whose name just happens to be ‘number 5’ which I’m guessing Is just a coincidence and not anything to do with the plucky robot from 80’s film ‘Short Circuit’.

The programmers have chosen to go for cartoon-esque graphics rather than a technical feel for the game, which although it does look good, for me all the levels i played seemed to look very samey and there wasn’t very much difference in the looks category, unlike some games like World of Goo or Tupsu, where the Page 40

levels which although using the same core layouts throughout, always seems to have some level of distinction that I would remember.

I couldn’t really tell one level from the next with Robo #5, both graphically and also from a level/ puzzle viewpoint.

So game wise what you get is 40 levels of ‘adventure filled with obstacles and power-ups alike’.

Well, yeh... ok maybe that is what some would call it bit for me #5 is all about simply moving boxes around.

You have to work out how to reach the top of a pile of boxes by pushing, pulling certain boxes around to create the correct platform to enable you to climb up to the neat section and to eventually reaching the top and completing the level.

simply press and hold on a possible box to move and the options that can be done with that box will popup onscreen.

Overall Robo 5 is a wee polished good looking game that looks like it would work really well on some of the new generation of Android driven consoles coming out in the neat few months . For me though its unfortunately close but no cigar for my wee metal chappy.

Robo No. 5 £FREE

Category: Games Latest Release: April 3, 2013 Version: 1.0.4 Size: 36MB

On the eighth level, and each subsequent eighth level you’ll get hated to a wee race against time and you must get to the top within a set time.

Graphically i think that the game is total geared towards the gamers eye and lesson on content which particularly a bad thing as there are a lot of other games out there that do the same. Cut scenes pleasant, music is fine.To controls things go APR 2013 - issue (27)

Mr Suit for GoGuide Magazine

Contributor

Tupsu

The Furry Little Monster

I

never played the original Super Stickman Golf so number two was my sticky first. Its a big title for a big game and v2 has quickly became my game of choice at the moment , I just wish it wasn’t so damn difficult.

I’ll kick off by admitting that I love playing games. Be it on Pc, Console, phone or now my new Samsung tablet i usually cant get enough of them. There Is a wee problem, you see, I also have to admit that i/m actually not that good at them ... It doesn’t stop me trying though and SSG2 must be good as I keep coming back to the damn thing continually and still not getting past each level for what seems like ages. I’m putting that down to me being bad at the game rather than it taking everyone this long.

Tonight i just made it through to Level 5, My first round was 65 over par hahaha ....

There isn’t really much we can say about playing the game, it’s golf after all and this game is no different

to any other just that the actual mechanics are a whole lot easier with no complicated club choices or wind effects to worry about .

Your character is basically a stickman with no frills and the graphics are simple to the extreme with large colourful blocky polygons used throughout. No shading or shadow effects on show here but it doesn’t matter as the gameplay holds it up for what it is .

Simply aim your shot using the left/ right buttons and then choose a strength using the power bar in the normal golf game fashion. Along the way you will come across various obstacles that will no doubt kill any ideas of getting a good score from your round.

The aim of the game is to complete the 9 holes in each level in as little shots as possible to up your course save and eventually gain access to the next level . There is a wealth of power ups and sub games for those looking for a more In depth game.

There is also a Collection of shared and online multiplayer game modes behind the Initial game which is where all the real fun can be had as you plot your opponents downfall .

APR 2013 - issue (27)

At its core SSG2 Is a really cool wee game that very quickly draws you in and you realise that there is a lot more under the bonnet than you first thought . A super example of a game that players can choose between a short pitch around or a move in depth few hours gaming when yw hare the time, the perfect balance .

Super Stickman Golf 2

£FREE

Category: Games Latest Release: March 19, 2013 Version: 1.0 Size: 34MB

Mr Suit for GoGuide Magazine

Contributor

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LIFE(STYLE)

PH

TECHNO

CHECKOUT TH 10 FREE AND ANDROID A

iPhone £FREE

iPhone £PAY

TOP 10 APPS

TOP 10 APPS

1

Sonic Dash SEGA

1

WhatsApp Messenger - £0.69 WhatsApp Inc.

2

Real Basketball Mobil Interaktif

2

Facetune - £1.49 Zeev Farbman

3

Candy Crush Saga King.com Limited

3

Temple Run: Oz - - £0.69 Disney

4

Lumi Foundation Mobile

4

Tiny Troopers - £0.69 Chillingo Ltd

5

Snapchat Snapchat, Inc

5

Angry Birds Star Wars - £0.69 Rovio

6

Foolproof Art Studio Studio Mee

6

Minecraft – Pocket Edition £4.99 Mojang

7

Pic Combo Games for Friends

7

FIFA SOCCER 13 - £2.99 EA SPORTS

8

Who’s the Celeb?

Cheat Master And Friends

8

8 Ball Pool™ - £0.69 Miniclip.com

9

Google Maps Google, Inc

9

Cut the Rope - £0.69 Chillingo Ltd

10

Princess Makeover Ninjafish Studios

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10 APR 2013 - issue (27)

Sleep Cycle alarm clock - £0.69 Maciek Drejak Labs

HONE APP CENTRAL

HIS MONTHS TOP D PAID APPS ON AND IPHONE

Android £FREE

Android £PAY

TOP 10 APPS

TOP 10 APPS

1

Facebook

1

2

Candy Crush Saga

2

3

WhatsApp Messenger

3

Wreck-it Ralph - £0.32 Disney

4

Lazors

4

Where’s My Water? - £0.32 Disney

5

Doodle Jump

5

Earn to Die - £0.80 Not Doppler

6

Skype - free IM & video calls

6

Tasker - £1.99

7

4 Pics 1 Word

7

Temple Run: Oz - £0.65 Disney

8

Official eBay Android App

8

9

BBC Media Player

9

Where’s My Perry? - £0.32 EA

10

Grand Theft Auto III - £2.99

10

Facebook King.com

WhatsApp Inc. Pyrosphere Lima Sky Skype

LOTUM

eBay Mobile

Media Applications for BBC

BBC iPlayer

Media Applications for BBC

APR 2013 - issue (27)

SwiftKey 3 Keyboard - £2.99 TouchType Ltd

Minecraft Pocket Edit - £4.99 LevelUp Studio

Crafty Apps

TuneIn Radio Pro- £3.31 TuneIn

Rockstar

PAGE 43

FITNESS

T.O.D. COACHING

T.O.D. TALKS YOU THROUGH ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT WHY YOU SHOULD JOIN A GYM... AND WHAT TO LOOK OUT FOR WHEN CHOOSING ONE.

CHOOSING A GYM SPECIAL

+ PERSONAL TRAINERS

HEALTH&FITNESS

& Fit inc Studio Gym

AS PART OF T.O.D.’S GYM SPECIAL THEY ALSO LOOK AT USING PERSONAL TRAINERS

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PAGE 45

TCO.AOCH.DING.

FITNESS FEATURE

&

M Y G O I D U T FIT INC. S INE SECTION THLY GOGUIDE MAGAZ ON M ’S M GY IO UD T.O.D. ST FIT INC. ING AND KEEPING FIT. TT GE T T.O.D. COACHING AND OU AB OW KN CAMP NG YOU NEED TO NDITIONING AND BOOT BRINGS YOU EVERYTHI CO , NG NI AI TR , SE CI REGIMES. BEST IN EXER BRING YOU THE VERY IALIST EVENT TRAINING EC SP D AN TS BI HA NG D EATI WORKOUTS, DIETS AN

SUSPENSION TRAINING

O

By T.O.D. Combat nce thought of as just a set of Olympic rings for gymnasts, suspension training has seen a huge demand recently especially amongst fighters.

Suspension systems are not new, they are not for the elite, and with a bit of practice they can be Page 46

mastered. There are various types of suspension systems around; my team have been using one format or another since 2005 to great success both with fighters and members.

originator of the TRX)however as we mentioned suspension training in the form of rope training and gymnastic rings have been around for 100’s of years.

You are probably asking what is suspension training and who can or how do I use it?

Suspension training is a form of resistance training that also includes bodyweight exercises where the body is moved through a variety of multi-planar, compound exercises,.

The aim is to develop strength, balance, flexibility, and joint stability simultaneously.

The modern term suspension training is coined from the company Fitness Anywhere who invented the TRX (Randy Hetrick a former US Navy seal is considered the APR 2013 - issue (27)

Suspension training does require a general level of fitness for anyone wishing to use and progress safely with these systems, as there is pressure placed on stabilising muscle groups which tend to be ignored by the public in general.

Is suspension training good for fighters, YES! As a fighter suspension training should be incorporated into your training programme on a regular basis. Benefits of this type of training include Improved coordination Improved balance Improved muscular strength Improved muscular endurance Improved plyometrics Improved power Increase in energy levels Improved flexibility Improved body composition Improved stability What more could you ask for from one piece of equipment.

On the market you will find many different variations of suspension systems, the difficulty is in knowing which one is best for your needs.

Price wise there is not much difference between each of them, below is the three main types used at T.O.D Combat Air Fit Trainer - possibly the best suspension system on the market, the easy to use sling straps allow for various level and body position changes without your hands or feet leaving the slings. The slings allow for kicks, punches, knees, clinches, throws, holds, core work, lateral, rotational movements and much more‌.. down side needs 10f height clearance for proper use. Suited for all types of user.

War Machine - popularised by crossfit users around the world, the war machine is another great system which allows for a full body functional workout, downside is that you need further attachments for certain types of work such as clinches, throws etc. this system is best suited for intermediate to advanced users.

TRX - another good system this time on a fixed mount whereas the others are on rational mounts. The TRX allows for a full body workout but is limited for stability and rotational usage owing to the fixed mount. The straps limit usage to certain foot sizes, 11 and above may struggle to use the straps, however the newer versions are supposed to have increased strap sizes to allow for bigger feet.

APR 2013 - issue (27)

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FITNESS FEATURE

Try out the following basic circuits on each of the systems; ensure an adequate warm up is completed prior to the start of any training.

AIR TRAINER

WAR MACHINE

Met Con circuit 5 minute round 30 seconds on 15 rest, A.M.R.A.P (as many reps as possible)

Ton up- 10 reps of each exercise= 100 reps 1 minute rest after the set is complete, then repeat

1. Suspended GI rows 2. Squats 3. Crucifix press up 4. Single leg squat jumps 5. Knee tucks 6. Hamstring curls 7. Skiers 8. Hello dolly’s

1. Chest press 2. Chest press with rotation 3. Power thrust 4. Power thrust and rotation 5. Inverted chest press 6. Flutter kicks 7. Suspended Crunch 8. Donkey Kick 9. Hanging climbers 10. Pull Ups (locked mode)

Repeat as desired

Repeat as desired

TRX

Tabbatta circuit- 4 minute round, 20 seconds on 10 seconds rest.

1. One leg burpees to jab cross (r) 2. Inverted v sits 3. One leg burpee to jab cross (l) 4. Seesaws 5. Single leg lunge to knee strike (r) 6. Stir the pot 7. Single leg lunge to knee strike (l) 8. Suspended hand clap press ups Repeat as desired

Now here’s our trainers at FIT INC. demonstrating some of the exercises from the training plans. For those not covered please see the exercise charts included with your suspension unit or search on line for the others AND more examples of exercises to add to your regular suspension workouts..

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APR 2013 - issue (27)

1 GI ROW

2 SQUAT

3 CRUCIFIX PRESS UP

4 MOUNTAIN CLIMBER APR 2013 - issue (27)

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5 KNEE TUCK

6 POWER THRUST

7 PULL UPS

8 PSN CRUCIFIX PRESS UP Page 50

APR 2013 - issue (27)

9 LUNGE TO KNEE

10 PSN INVERTED V SIT

PAY T.O.D A VISIT AND SEE WHAT WE CAN DO FOR YOU!

Fit Inc Studio Gym 1 Simpson Parkway Kirkton Campus Livingston EH54 7BH Tel: 01506 413040 www.tod-coaching.co.uk

Team T.O.D/Fit Inc. and one WBO/WBA Champion Mr Nigel Benn APR 2013 - issue (27)

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MOVIES

Contents

NEW RELEASES

APRIL

Dark Skies - 3rd April – 15 The Odd Life of Timothy Green – 5th April – U Flying Blind - 12th April – 15 Oblivion - 12th April - 12A Pilgrim Hill - 12th April – TBC Scary Movie 5 - 12th April – TBC The Gatekeepers - 12th April – 15 The Place Beyond the Pines 12th April – 15 Olympus Has Fallen 17th April – 15 Evil Dead - 18th April – 18 Bait - 19th April – 15 Promised Land - 19th April – 15

Please check online or with cinema directly for latest information.

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APR 2013 - issue (27)

MOVIE POSTERS

TITLES AND ACTORS NAMES REMOVED - NAMES

1

3

APR 2013 - issue (27)

PLEASE?

SEE I N FOBRACK PSIDE ANS AGE WE

RS

2

4

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PAGE 55

MOVIES

Contents

TOP 10

THIS MONTHS U The Croods (20th Century Fox)

A prehistoric comedy adventure that follows the world’s first family as they embark on a journey of a lifetime when the cave that has always shielded them from danger is destroyed. Outside the Croods discover an incredible new world to explore.

Jack the Giant Slayer (Warner Bros)

The ancient war between humans and a race of giants is reignited when Jack, a young farmhand fighting for a kingdom and the love of a princess, opens a gateway between the two worlds.

Oz: The Great and Powerful (Disney)

When Oscar Diggs, a small-time circus magician with dubious ethics, is hurled away from dusty Kansas to the vibrant Land of Oz, he thinks he’s hit the jackpot-fame and fortune are his for the taking-that is until he meets three witches.

Identity Thief (Universal)

Mild-mannered businessman Sandy Patterson travels from Denver to Miami to confront the deceptively harmless-looking woman who has been living it up after stealing Sandy’s identity.

Side Effects (eOne Films)

Emily Taylor becomes severely depressed with emotional episodes and suicide attempts. Her psychiatrist, Jonathan Banks, after conferring with her previous doctor, eventually prescribes an experimental new medication called Ablixa.

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APR 2013 - issue (27)

G G G G G G G G G G G

G G G

Information and ratings from combined sources incl

UK BOX OFFICE TOP 10 Wreck-It Ralph (Disney)

Wreck-It Ralph longs to be as beloved as his game’s perfect Good Guy, Fix-It Felix. Problem is, nobody loves a Bad Guy. But they do love heroes... Ralph sneaks into another game with a simple plan -- win a medal -- but soon wrecks everything.

Stolen

(Lions Gate)

Will Montgomery is a master thief who after being double-crossed in a heist gone awry is sent to prison for 8 years. Upon his release he’s ready to leave his criminal past behind and try to rebuild a relationship with his estranged daughter Allison

G G G G G G

Welcome to the Punch

G Ex-criminal Jacob Sternwood is forced to return G to London when his son is involved in a heist gone G wrong. This gives his nemesis, detective Max Lewin(Momentum)

sky, one last chance to catch the man he’s always been after.

Parker

(eOne Films)

A thief with a unique code of professional ethics is double-crossed by his crew and left for dead. Assuming a new disguise and forming an unlikely alliance with a woman on the inside, he looks to hijack the score of the crew’s latest heist.

Mama (Universal)

Mama is a supernatural thriller about two little girls who disappeared into the woods the day that their parents were killed. When they are rescued years later and begin a new life, there is someone or something coming to tuck them in at night.

luding IMDB, Box Office Mojo, BFI, Film Dates, Google+

APR 2013 - issue (27)

G G G G G G PAGE 57

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PAGE 59

MOVIES

FEATURE

TRAINSPOTTING TRAINSPOT S

o, pretty much out of the blue, we get an announcement that there is going to be a Trainspotting II. I say out of the blue because whenever the subject of a follow up crops up in interviews with anyone involved in the original It always seems to be met with a pretty negative response.

Danny-Boyle

A wee bit of digging later and it seems that the new movie will rely on Mr Danny Boyle and his team coming up with a script for the sequel to the 1996 hit based loosely on Boyle’s ‘Porno’ book, which is a pale shadow of the original, which is set 10 years after the heavy drug filled days have passed and the action moves to their exploits in the pornography industry.

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Boyle h II is goin schedu he is als McGreg the orig

The sec the card John Ho Shallow scribbli

“This h There’s for Trai

“If John script, I barriers back. I parts ar are letti

Boyle’s

Spud & Renton

TRAINSPOTTING TTING

has confirmed that Trainspotting ng ahead and that shooting is uled to hopefully begin in 2016, so confident of pulling in Ewan gor and some other members of ginal cast.

cond movie has apparently been on rds for a long time with scriptwriter odge, who wrote Trainspotting, w Grave and The Beach, busy ing away on the new Porno script.

has been a long time coming. s always been this long-term plan inspotting 2.” Said Boyle .

n can produce a decent enough I don’t think there will be any s to Ewan or any of the cast coming think they’ll wanna know that the re good so they don’t feel like they tting anyone down.”

s new film Trance, with James

McAvoy, Rosario Dawson and Vincent Cassel, is due out at the end of this month. It is set against the story of a fine art auctioneer who gets mixed up with organised crime and joins forces with a hypnotherapist in order to recover a lost painting.

Unlike Porno Trainspotting was a success in both a literary sense and on the big screen with the character of Renton, Begbie, Spud, Tommy and Sickboy all pretty awesome in their am right. A big part of its ‘charm’, for want at a better word, was Renton’s narration of his own crazy life. Filled with black comedy and irony it was a joy to hear him spout his daily analysis of the addicted world around him which seems a truly dark and scary place without these Renton moments. It would be hard to think of anyone but McGregor taking on this role to be honest and the fact that Porno is set 10 years in future bodes well for it turning at to be a pretty good movie.

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It has actually been reported that Boyle has been waiting in the wings until his original crew age visibly enough to actually pull off the same characters having been ravaged by time. Robert Carlyle, who played Begbie in the film (and where or local band The Begbies got their name)said he would “jump through hoops of fire backwards” for Boyle and would “do Porno tomorrow for nothing.”

Ewan McGregor however has offered his own opinion that a sequel to the movie would be a “terrible shame”, or that would be ‘SHITE STATE OF AFFAIRS’ in other words.... (another local band BTW) Turn over for our take on the best Renton Quotes to tide you over hopefully till the next one...

Mr Suit for GoGuide Magazine Movie & DVD Reviewer

PAGE 61

Mark Renton Trainspotting Junkie Poet Philosopher Theorist Visionery Complete Cunt....

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"Begbie didn't do drugs either. He just did people."

"It seems, however, I really am the luckiest guy in the world.

Several years of addiction right in the middle of an epidemic, surrounded by the living dead.

But not me. I'm negative. It's official. And once the pain goes away, that's when the real battle starts. Depression, boredom... You feel so fucking low, you want to fucking top yourself.�

"Living like this is a full-time business.''

"Heroin had robbed Renton of his sex drive, but now it returned with a vengeance.

And as the impotence of those days faded into memory, grim desperation took hold of his sex-crazed mind. His post-junk libido, fuelled by alcohol and amphetamine, taunted him remorselessly with his own unsatisfied desire."

"This was to be my final hit, but let's be clear about this.

There's final hits and final hits. What kind was this to be?"

"It's SHITE being Scottish!

We're the lowest of the low.

The scum of the fucking Earth!

The most wretched miserable servile pathetic trash that was ever shat on civilization. Some people hate the English. I don't.

They're just wankers. We, on the other hand, are colonized by wankers. Can't even find a

decent culture to get colonized by. We're ruled by effete assholes. It's a shite state of affairs to be in, Tommy, and all the fresh air in the world won't make any fucking difference!"

"People think it's all about misery and desperation and death and all that shit which is not to be ignored, but what they forget is the pleasure of it. Otherwise we wouldn't do it. After all, we're not fucking stupid. At least, we're not that fucking stupid."

"Relinquishing junk. Stage one, preparation. For this you will need one room which you will not leave. Soothing music. Tomato soup, ten tins of. Mushroom soup, eight tins of, for consumption cold.

Ice cream, vanilla, one large tub of. Magnesia, milk of, one bottle. Paracetamol, mouthwash, vitamins. Mineral water, Lucozade, pornography.

One mattress. One bucket for urine, one for feces and one for vomitus. One television and one bottle of Valium, which I've already procured from my mother, who is, in her own domestic and socially acceptable way also a drug addict. And now I'm ready. All I need is one final hit to soothe the pain while the Valium takes effect."

"Phew! I haven't felt that good since Archie Gemmill scored against Holland in 1978!"

"The downside of coming off junk was I knew I would need to mix with my friends again APR 2013 - issue (27)

in a state of full consciousness.

It was awful. They reminded me so much of myself, I could hardly bear to look at them."

"Choose Life. Choose a job.

Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television, choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol, and dental insurance. Choose fixed interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisurewear and matching luggage.

Choose a three-piece suite on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on Sunday night. Choose sitting on that couch watching mindnumbing, spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth.

Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pissing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked up brats you spawned to replace yourselves. Choose your future. Choose life... But why would I want to do a thing like that? I chose not to choose life. I chose somethin' else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you've got heroin?''

Mark Renton... ...come back soon?.

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MOVIES

REVIEW

1984’s

2013’s

Staring a host of 80's brat packers like Patrick Swayze, C. Thomas Howell, Charlie Sheen, Lea Thompson and Jennifer Grey the original Red Dawn was a Fun' ish cold war threat based popcorn film that although by today's standard is somewhat dated (well it is 2013) so for some this remake is probably going to be quite unnecessary, but for me is a pretty decent action film that could have Page 66

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benefitted from perhaps a less current setting?

The 2013 version stars Chris Hemsworth (Thor / Avengers), Josh Peck (Drillbit Taylor / The Wackness), Josh Hutcherson (The Hunger Games / Zathura), Adrianne Palicki (TV), Isabel Lucas (Immortals / Daybreakers), Connor Cruise (Seven Pounds).... so not really the creme of young established OR up and coming talent that the movie world can offer if you ask me?

The basic premise of the film is that North Korean forces invade the US and in a small town in the hills they take everyone prisoner, well those

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they don't kill of anyway, leaving a group of teenagers to battle against the Invading forces.

Like the original it’s a pretty touchy subject matter but if you forget the fact that it is something that HAS happened in the past and COULD happen now, well you never know with some of the crazy dictators out there at the moment.

One of the strongest Red Dawn performances comes from none other than ‘Thor’ himself, Chris Hemsworth, who does a good job as the older member of the group, the Patrick Swayze role, and he kind makes you forgive any potential deficiencies in the script.

Overall for me it was quite an enjoyable film for what it is, perhaps not on a par with the original but I suppose the 80’s version will always have a leg up as it was first. Perhaps a more ‘prominent’ cast list would have helped elevate it to a different level but hey, it is what it is.

I don’t think it is as bad as the ratings I’ve seen online and maybe people have been a little bogged down in the ‘reboot’ bashing as the film is pretty entertaining and shouldn’t be taken too seriously. As far as being one of the recent ‘big’ reboots this definitely isn't the worst one out there, but also isn’t the best, one worth a watch if you remember to take it for what it is… an hour and a half of popcorn fun.

GGG Mr Suit for GoGuide Magazine Contributor

APR 2013 - issue (27)

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MOVIES

REVIEW

J

ohn Dies in the End is defo a movie that our top DVD reviewer James will be all over when it eventually hits the home market in probably a few short months but for now I’m going to have some fun with.

Sometimes when I read a review of a movie and then when I see the film and think back to what I had read in the review and I think to myself ‘was that guy on drugs?’

Well when you’re watching this film you are gonna question whether someone has slipped some illegal hallucinogenic substance into your Pepsi while you

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weren’t looking..... There is just way too many WTF? moments for my liking .

To tell you the truth i’m not 100% sure if I really liked it or not, its just too strange for its own good perhaps, It’s a weird story that only kinda comes together in the closing stages of the film, well for me anyway. Based on the comic horror novel written by Jason Pargin, aka David Wong, which story did the publishing rounds in a roundabout way and was released in various formats before eventually hitting the book shelves in nice paperback form In 2008 and then in hardback in 2009.

For me John Dies At The End loosely falls into the kinda black comedy sci-fi, fantasy, horror genre. You can tell it is a comedy when those moments occur but it doesn’t quite get completely into the APR 2013 - issue (27)

scary comedy horror type films like the original Evil Dead, it just simply stays too weird for that to happen.

There are a lot of strange creatures that pop up throughout the film and Don Coscarelli, director and screenwriter, seems to have done a pretty fine interpretation of the weirdness found in the original John Dies novel.

The main synopsis of the film is that of a pair of college drop-out who, with the aid of a new drug, are ‘chosen’ to save the world from all manner of things that inhabit it, the twist being that they need to be on the drug

to even see these creatures. That is probably as much of the story that I can put together without actually detailing it scene by scene, you just have to see it For yourself to understand what I mean.

It just wouldn’t make sense .

So recommendation wise I’d say that this one is definitely going be a Marmite scenario, loved by some and hated by those who like their films straight forward and easy to pigeonhole.

Possibly a cult-classic in the making but I’m just not enough of an expert in that field to know .. over to you Mr McCulloch.

GG Mr Suit for GoGuide Magazine Contributor

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MOVIES

REVIEW

THE INCREDIBLE BURT WONDERSTONE

S

trangely enough this movie Is one of those that fall right into the trap of having a ' adjective' In the title that unfortunately opens door for sad reviewers when to rip the pish. So incredible by name doesn't automatically mean Incredible by nature.... and on this occasion it is spot on . The Incredible Burt Wonderstone is not only NOT Incredible, it isn't even wonderful. It truth be told It's probably not even that good. Well, ok It's not bad, but I wouldn't exactly call it good... It's just kinda ok.

Despite the impressive roster of talent on show this film never really gets out of first gear and stick

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steadily in the slow lane for pretty much the entire story.

With so many stars popping up I can't help but think that you really should be getting a damn site More for your money than this film delivers and you shouldn't be expected to just accept ok ?

I'm actually hoping that all of the major players In this film alma percentage rather than a millions up front, at least that way the people who made it won't be too broke when this does It rake in the money they expect it to.

The core feeling throughout is that of a soft, sentimental buddy flick that is crying out for a character that you actually a damn about and unfortunately that person never seems to appear, maybe one of the magicians made him disappear?

Not even Steve Carrell, who I really didn't like in this, can find any 'magic' in the character of Wonderstone with only one joke having me giggle and that was when he 'washes the dishes', trying not to waste that moment for you just in APR 2013 - issue (27)

case it's the only moment of fun for you too.

For the most part I didn't really click with any of the characters at all, they appear to be pretty much not trying a jot by the looks of things and when Jim Carey turns up it's is actually pretty pathetic to see what he comes up with for his role in the film . Everyone else Is just Ok The story of the film is that of Burt Wonderstone (Carrell) and Anton Marvelton (Steve Buscemi) who are a pair of flashy Las Vegas magicians.

Having done the same show for a decade or so they find themselves upstaged by the edgy new magic kid on the block (Carey). Their attempts to 'reinvent' their act and themselves serves as the second part of the film and this is where we are obviously supposed to magically start to give a sh*t about them, but I don't.

GG Mr Suit for GoGuide Magazine Contributor

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MOVIES

REVIEW

ROBOT AND FRANK

l

have to admit that i was rather easily distorted for large parts of this film as It just moved a wee bit slowly for my liking and the big pay offs only come at the end of the story and just a little too late For Me.

Robot and Frank is a cutesy film set sometime in or not to distant future, as nothing else seems to have changed In the world apart from the fact that we now have these super Impressive robots walking around .

Frank (Frank Langella), Is a retiree living is a quiet secluded town, we later find out that his professional was as a crack jewel thief rubbing from the very rich . Having served time in jail he has now settled down into the quiet mundane lifestyle of an old man.

Frank has a problem in that he is suffering from the early onset of dementia and has little to interest him apart from his regular visits to the local library where he seems to have a wee bit of an old mans crush on the librarian Jennifer played by Susan Sarandon.

Frank has two kids who are concerned about their aging fathers condition . His daughter travels worldwide due to her work and his son has a home hours away with his own wile, family and work to worry about so kinda only his time to keep an eye on things from afar .

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K Frank is stubborn and has so far refused all his kids attempts to place him into ‘sheltered housing’ accommodation so as in a last ditch effort his son gets him the latest talking robot assistant which can cook, clean, fix stuff, monitor Frank’s health, and Is also programmed to help Frank keep up a daily routine with exercise and meds etc.

of Crime . Over time he touches his robot all he knows about cracking safes and picking locks and eventually decides to put his friend to walk helping him do what he loves to do most. Things come to a head when the duo decide to try and help his library at as It prepares to ship at all its book In place of ebooks .

Frank only wants his kids to leave him alone and insists he’s capable of looking after himself. He initially resents his new home help and tries to get shot of his now nagging mechanical friend and tries to be rid of it at every turn.

Frank over time grows closer to the robot and this inevitably causes a major dilemma In the final stages of the movie .

Frank’s turning point comes when he finds that his robot has the ability to learn new things and doesn’t Seem to have a real understanding

So Its a buddy film at heart as we see Frank rejuvenated by his robot and with a new purpose in life everything seems to be going well.

It’s a lighthearted comedy that touches on living with dementia and the problems it causes families.

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Frank played by Langella is an ok character and is played well bit just not ‘meaty’ enough to hold my attention. Sarandon is pretty forgettable. I suppose for me the robot is the real star, with the voice provided by Peter Sarsgaard, and seems to always have the best scenes.

Robot and Frank Is a nice, unthreatening film that leaves you with saddened and happy at the same time , a nice Sunday afternoon film for those looking for a non-offensive couple of hours of enjoyment.

GGG Mr Suit for GoGuide Magazine Contributor PAGE 77

MOVIES

REVIEW

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MOVIES

REVIEW

Oz: The Great and Powe

E

veryone knows the story of Dorothy and Toto in Oz, so what was it that made Disney go back and tell what happened before?

I don’t know, but it was ingenious.

Most stories have a hero who is what he is, always a little reluctant at the beginning but still a hero.

Here we meet the magician Oz (James Franco, Spiderman) who gets caught up in a twister just like or young girl in her blue dress and lands himself in Oz, becoming known as The Wizard. Now we all know Oz is no Wizard and that’s what makes this film brilliant and unique. A hero that isn’t actually a hero.

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Remember at the end of The Wizard of Oz when Dorothy discovers Oz isn’t great and powerful? Well she got that right. France plays the lying, cheating, con-man that the wizard truly is and he has an impossible task: to save Oz with his magic. Uh oh.

This film was so refreshing. The Wizard of Oz was one of my all time favourites as a kid and I was a little reluctant to see this one. Sure the trailers looked great but we all know that means nothing. I loved seeing Rachel Weisz (The Mummy) as one of the witches and even if some bits were a bit cheesy, I think Disney can get away with it.

I watched this film in 3D and it was superb. Disney really utilised the effects to provide the best experience for the audience. There APR 2013 - issue (27)

were moments when I felt like I could reach out and touch this world they had created. But even the non-3D effects were brilliant. Even the sunspots you sometimes see on screen had been incorporated into this make-believe world.

Even if you look at the trailers and think, mmm not really my thing, I still think you should give this one a whirl. I’ve had some people tell me they thought they weren’t going to enjoy it and came out saying it was one of the best films they have seen in a long time.

GGGG Natasha Orme for GoGuide Magazine Movie & DVD Reviewer

erful

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MOVIES

REVIEW

IDENTITY THIEF Melissa McCarthy is definitely someone i like, I've only ever seen her recent films and none of her TV stuff but she pretty much stole the show with her supporting role in 2011's Bridesmaids bringing a level of comic daring to that Film that left most of her cast trailing behind. McCarthy isn’t afraid to utilise her assets so to speak and Is definitely not ashamed in any way to use her size to best advantage. This film Is her first staring role and although playing alongside established comic straight man Jason Bateman she once again really pulls off Page 82

another Coup and seems to pluck all the best bits from the film.

having just watched that 'Worderstone ' i was not expecting neck from this movie as it doesn't get a very good write ups online. But hey, that Is maybe the best way to watch a movie?

Identity Thief isn't going to blow you away but it does come along way to giving us a wee hint at the real potential of Miss McCarthy and maybe she has what it takes to become something really special.

Bateman plays Sandy Patterson, a mid level worker in a large Financial firm. One day he relieves a call advising him that they suspected that he had been the victim of identity fraud and they needed to check a few details... we know where that's going don't we . Sure enough Mr Patterson gives out APR 2013 - issue (27)

enough details to allow our identity thief to become Sandy Bigelow Patterson.

After a while It comes to light that his credit cards are maxed out, then he's arrested for a crime he didn't do In Florida . The cops get a mugshot sent to them, discover the 2nd Patterson in Florida Is a woman but that it's not in their jurisdiction and that it could take a year for it to get sorted at which point his boss fires him. Sandy and the cops then come up with a plan for him to travel to Florida and bring back the fake Sandy and get her to confess her crimes.

With the real Patterson convinced that the crook doesn't look 'That Bad' the stage is then set In some fun and games .

McCarthy, plays Diana, which turns at not to even be her real name as we find out in one of the 'touching ' moments of the film .

Diana is not going to go without a fight and it turns out that Sandy isn't the only one arth lookout for our illusive anti-hero. She's super slippery and works people when she wants something, she knows how to manipulate people and is a classic con merchant. In most situations this involves looking for a wee bit of sympathy from them and thus getting what she wants .

Once the two meet and he convinces her, if that's what you call it, to return and confess all we find out that despite throwing the mask

of a poor overweight bullied victim when needed behind the mask she Is everything that the real Sandy is not, she's outgoing, daring and not scared to go after what she wants .

One of the funniest scenes happens when she picks up a dude in a bar called Big Chuck and takes him back to their shared motel room for some fun.

Rather than going all out for more hilarious moments like this the film seems to be content with a very middle of the road comic non-buddy movie In the fashion of Trains, APR 2013 - issue (27)

Planes and Automobiles although missing the killer comic moments of that movie other that one 'bedroom' scene.

Don't get me wrong i liked the movie a lot but it could just have been so much better but defo go see it if you get the chance and enjoy it for what it is.

GGG Mr Suit for GoGuide Magazine Contributor PAGE 83

MOVIES FEATURE

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MOVIES

REVIEW

T

he Bay Is probably a film that most people won’t really be making a big effort to go and see, It doesn't have any huge stars and it seems like a tired old story so just why world you go and see it, even if you can since it's only on a limited release?

Well, for a start one thing that might put you off is that It's a ‘found

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THE

footage’ style of film but wait, unlike some of the recent found footage offerings The Bay actually works really well and is eerily effective and is super entertaining with enough of a different slant to most other horror movies that I'm sure most people will be pleasantly surprised.

Writer, Producer and Director Brian Levinson has an Impressive CV but as far as the box office is concerned it has been a kind of up and down affair but with classics like Rainman, Sleepers, Disclosure and 1980's semi-cult flick 'Diner' behind him i would be happy to give it a chance.

I found The Bay to be one of those

APR 2013 - issue (27)

films that you find yourself enjoying way more than you expected to at the beginning.

Initially started as a 'real life' type of project Levinson eventually decided the he could get the message the project was attempting to get across to the general public better using his film talents instead and along with screenwriter Michael Wallach they created a lifelike scenario that has just enough 'meat on the bone ' to carry the film through. Levinson utilises real Issues faced by the type of place portrayed in the film to connect with the audience more easily thus making It more very

much more believable. He prays on our own very real fear that we are potentially messing our planet up to an extent that we will be feeling the effects of that mistreatment sooner rather than later.

The found footage aspect of the film is covered really well i thought by introducing the concept that someone has collected all the video footage from multiple cameras that were all shooting throughout the day when the event occurred. They use their own news footage and members of the publics personal footage that they posted online or that was found later on. This is

presented to us as a rough cut of all that footage 'bolted ' together for us to understand what happened that 4th of July back In the small town of Claridge, Maryland. It is being presented by a reporter who was filming as part of a news crew on the day.

Overall the film kinda feels very much Jaws'esque In Its nature In that he see small town 'politics ' once again working not necessarily in the publics own interest until its too late for them to do anything really effective. It feels like a very current horror film in its content and with what we are supposed

BAY APR 2013 - issue (27)

to be scared by in the film and Its connection to our daily lines and how we are potentially affecting the place we live. The Bay is a Film that you will probably enjoy for what it is and think more about in the days after you've seen it as its effects nag away at you.

GGG Mr Suit for GoGuide Magazine Contributor

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TV&DVD

X-FACTOR IS BACK TV NEWS

‘X FACTOR’ OPEN AUDITIONS HIT LONDON THIS WEEKEND

H

ellooo...... The OPEN audition stages for the 2013 series of ITV’s The X Factor kick off tomorrow at London’s ExCel venue.

“And make sure you turn up early as audition slots are on a first come, first served basis, with slots only guaranteed for people who arrive by 9am.”

Artists looking to be discovered as the next ‘big thing’ will queue to perform to the execs & judges in the capital this Sat, followed by a group of other audition at centres located in a few key cities dotted around the country throughout the next couple of months.

One city in particular that won’t be hosting the contest this year is home of The Beatles, Liverpool as this time round their auditions have been cancelled.

The grapevine has hinted that this was due to a poor turnout but organisers have denied this and stated that they had never planned to hold auditions in the city.

“To be in with a chance of making it through to the UK’s most talkedabout entertainment show you will need to prepare a verse or chorus of one or more songs a capella,” said an X factor producer.

An X Factor spokesperson explained that the current figure for the mobile auditions, which are held away from the larger cities, was in line with last years figures. He added that last year’s winner James Arthur had his first audition at one of the mobile events.

For those interested the big open audition dates for the major cities are:

Just one person was also reported to have signed up for the Colchester qualifying rounds

Saturday April 6 - Saturday April 13 - Saturday April 20 - Saturday April 27 - Wednesday May 1 - Page 90

before the producers hit the streets and drummed up another 20 potential stars.

London, ExCel Birmingham ICC Cardiff Millennium Stadium Manchester Old Trafford Stadium Glasgow SECC APR 2013 - issue (27)

Mr Suit for GoGuide Magazine Contributor

The BBC has now officially confirmed that actor, and the 9th Doctor, Christopher Eccleston would NOT be appearing in the 50th anniversary celebration show.

They told online news and entertainment site Digital Spy that there was no plan for Eccleston to appear and that he was never attached to the 50th Anniversary Edition.

Daily newspaper The Daily Star had claimed that Eccleston, who played the character back in 2005, had initially agreed to star in the special but pulled out as filming was about to begin.

It was reported that "Chris met with Steven Moffat a couple of times to talk about Steven's plans for the Doctor Who 50th anniversary episode."

"After careful thought, Chris decided not to be in the episode. He wishes the team all the best."

John Hurt (Alien) and Joanna Page (Gavin & Stacey) have both been confirmed for guest spots and classic Who aliens the Zygons will also make an appearance at some point, we don’t know where, we don’t know when...

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Pic © BBC

Matt Smith (the Eleventh Doctor) and David Tennant (the Tenth Doctor) will both feature in the anniversary special opposite Jenna-Louise Coleman (Clara) and Billie Piper (Rose). The show will also be shot in 3D.

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TV&DVD TV NEWS

T

he next few weeks will see the final few shows of The Office in the US. I was a late comer to the US version of the hit program.

It was one of my favourite UK shows... 'The Office'...

Man, I loved the Ricky Gervais/Stephen Merchant creation so much that I was actually dead against it even being made in the States, I loved it and i just wanted more of 'my' UK office and not a sad American watered down Page 92

version with cheap canned laughter every second line .

Now don't get me wrong I'm a huge fun of US comedy shows and they have been a staple part of our family viewing for as long as I can remember . From the likes of Mash and The Odd Couple when I was a wee kid through to The Cosby Show, Cheers, Roseanne and over to Fraser and Friends and more recently the likes of My Name Is Earl, Two and a Half Men and Raising Hope.... Its' all good.

But The Office for me was different, It had a pretty unique format and relied heavily on one very distinct and massive character, sure there was a sprinkling of side story lines for some others, the biggest of those being the Tim / Dawn will APR 2013 - issue (27)

they, wont they saga. But at its core it was all about David Brent.

So much so that for me 'Extras' was just David Brent trying to be an actor Gervais was for the most part playing exactly the same person .... or more likely he was really showing us a lot of his own characteristics in both these shows.

I think it was around season 6 that I actually sat down and watched an entire episode for real. I had seen plenty of trailers but my pride had so far stopped me taking any interest in it. After watching the episode I was pleasantly surprised and actually intrigued to find if the first seasons of the US one mirrored the UK versions? That prompted me to got hold of the first couple of seasons . ... l watched Season 1 and 2 one show after another, hey wait

Hi, my name is (insert your name here) and I’m an Office addict. ...!!!

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TV&DVD TV NEWS

Pam Beesly.

Michael Scott.

Dwight Kurt Schrut Jim Halpert.

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te

.... that's not too long considering the shows are only about 22 mins long each and season 1 has only 6 episodes in it. Anyway.... in one night I had went from being very wary to being well and truly hooked.

That same night I went on line and ordered all of the box sets of the seasons I didn't have and actually re-watched l and 2 while I waited for them to arrive, it was very strange, it seemed like i was really addicted to this damn show. A few days later my next fix arrived through the door and it was in the DVD player before the delivery driver had even pulled his van away from the house. The next couple of nights saw Seasons 3, 4 and 5 slip by before I remembered that I had a life and work to go to.... These nights had seen me burning the 'post midnight oil' In order to keep up with the exploits of Michael Scott, Regional Manager of the Dunder Mifflin Scranton, and his hapless band of merry employees... Jim, Pam, Dwight, Oscar, the Temp, Meradeth, Creed, Stanley, Angela, Kelly, Kevin and Phyllis, they all felt like family now....

Once I had caught up with the box sets l was at mercy of Us TV’s schedule and sky's sporadic airing’s of the show and consoled myself with re watching episodes and full seasons when I had some free time or had them playing on the Pc in a wee window while I did other things. Perhaps it was because i had worked in an office In the past 20 years that I connected with the show so easily and although the story lines are hugely exaggerated, like the original UK version, the people are very much REAL and he walked beside them all that time, gees I'm sure I am one ... !

As the seasons progressed there hasn't really been a moment when I could say that it was anything but comic greatness, but also with a real sense of caring for the characters and what happened to them. There has been new additions to the cast but with only a few noteworthy exits and for the most part the additions quickly found a wee place in my heart. I didn't connect with Robert California (played by 80's brat-pack actor James Spader) or Gabe, l thought Darryl could have been left in the warehouse as far as i am concerned. Jo Bennett (Kathy Bates) was ok, I thought Will Farrell was just too current and 'BIG' to be in the show. But the hardest struggle for me has been with the Nellie Bertram (Catherine Tate) character, Tate has just never worked for me... she's just too weird.

So that brings me to March 2013, 9 seasons down, and i can't believe that the show is actually going to end in a few weeks time. It was planned for the Dwight Schrute character, played brilliantly

by Rainn Wilson, to feature in his own spin-off APR 2013 - issue (27)

series rumoured to be called Schrute Farms but latest news suggest the pilot has not been picked up by any network so far. The last episode aired on 14th March in the states was heavily setup to introduce us to Dwight’s extended family in preparation for his leaving the show.... I didn't even know he had a brother and sister. The writing team behind the show also developed a spin-off from the show that actually became 'Parks and Recreation ' and was developed as a show in its an right rather than a connected Office spin-off .

Until now I had never actually watched this show but since I began writing about it i decided to check it out and I truly couldn't after 11/2 seasons I really struggle to see why this show Is still being made . To say that it is a poor shadow of The Office is a true understatement, l actually found it to be a really sad remake of The Office just set in a different scenario. The lead female character Is a complete copy of Michael Scott In almost every way and I'm actually cringing for the day when she utters the magic words 'that's what he said'.

There are almost too many charmer similarities for my liking and some of the stories even give me bad Dejà Vu moments. Lets try one out ... there is a young woman who is stuck In a relationship with a kinda slob boyfriend. she starts to have feelings for someone she starts working with, she eventually split up with her slob boyfriend, she then stats seeing the guy she works with and her boyfriend tries to win her back.... sounds like they are rehashing the Jim and Pam theme .

One other thing I didn't realise until well into the show is that B.J. Novak who plays Ryan 'The Temp' actually writes a Massive chunk show and even produces a bundle of them.

So for the time being the end is going to be 'The End' and a big part of my 'must see' viewing Is going to disappear. I guess that those box sets are going to get another few Re-watches over the coming months or years .

All this writing has got me thinking about my favourite moments from the show so I'm going to talk to the boss and punt for an office special when the series ends where i will rack my brains to come up with my bests and most favourite show of the whole 9 seasons of this amazing show.

Boss?... boss?...BOSS...??????

Mr Suit for GoGuide Magazine Contributor

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TV&DVD TV XMAS FEATURE TV

Angela Martin.

Darryl Philbin.

Oscar Martinez.

Kelly Kapoor.

Jan Levenson.

Toby Flenderson.

Stanley Hudson.

Meredith-Palmer.

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Kevin Malone.

Todd Packer.

Creed Bratton.

Kelly Erin Hannon.

Ryan Howard.

Holly Flax.

Roy Anderson.

Andy Bernard.

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TV&DVD DVD TOP 10

1 2

RISE OF THE GUARDIANS (DREAMWORKS) THE TWILIGHT SAGA - BREAKING DAWN - PT 2 (ENTERTAINMENT ONE)

3

SKYFALL (MGM)

4

BRAVE (WALT DISNEY)

5

ARGO (WARNER HOME VIDEO)

MARCH DVD TOP 10 6

MEGAMIND (DREAMWORKS)

7

DR SEUSS - THE LORAX (UNIVERSAL PICTURES)

8

ICE AGE 4 - CONTINENTAL DRIFT (20TH CENTURY FOX HE)

9 10 Page 98

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MADAGASCAR 3 - EUROPE’S MOST WANTED (DREAMWORKS) THE PIRATES - IN AN ADVENTURE WITH (SONY PICTURES HE)

ONTH...

OUT NOW OR OUT THIS M

new dvds EO SHOP R LOCAL VID AT YOU

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who thinks they know how to beat the rest is Fat Amy played amazingly by Rebel Wilson (Bridesmaids) The head girls in the group wanna stick to 90s classic songs which causes a little friction with some of the others. Their nemesis is a boys group which includes Christopher Mintz-Plasse (Kick-Ass) as Tommy and Adam DeVine as Bumper.

It’s a vocal rollercoaster from then on and more fun than I bet you expect it to be.

Mr Suit for GoGuide Magazine Contributor

P

itch Perfect is more than it would seem, tarred with the Glee tag when doing the cinema rounds but this move is to glee what I am to healthy eating. In fact it’s perhaps surprisingly a really funny film.

It does of course have the awesome Rebel Wilson in it so it’s on to a winner from the start as far as I’m concerned. I’m sure she, along with Melissa McCarthy, are soon going to establish themselves as the dominant female comedy actresses’ for the next few years.

So the story goes that Beca (Anna Kendrick) arrives at Barden College with dreams of breaking into music production. Her father has other ideas and insists she gets involved with other things on campus and convinces her to join one club for the year so after a wee forced nude sing song in the shower with one of acapella group the The Bellas she decides to join them.

Each year the groups compete in competitions against other acapella groups with the ultimate prize being the ‘Championships’. Having previously failed each year for their ‘subdued’ performances someone

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style of film for their general plot holes, they are like wee fences you just have to step over in order to enjoy it for what it is.

Russell Crowe’s plays the ‘dandyish cad’ type character well and has a surprising role to play at the conclusion of the movie. As long as you don’t take everyone’s performances too seriously it’s a pretty enjoyable romp, looks really good, and captures the atmosphere well.

The Man With The Iron Fists is certainly not taking its self seriously but there is sometimes a wee undercurrent of something else, I don’t know? I think, they think, that the film is better than it actually is… kinda thing. There’s a smugness about it that’s the word, a smugness that really shouldn’t come across but I does, somehow.

A good wee film all told despite any nit picking I might do so give it a shot.

Mr Suit for GoGuide Magazine Contributor

O

ne thing i wanna point out st the start of this is that I’ve watched a couple of films with one Dave Bautista ‘off the WWE’ and to say they were bad is an understatement so I’m surprised that I enjoyed this one at all, but it really is not that bad and I suppose he is really only a bit part player in this one. Basically if you’re the kind of film goer that enjoys your typical Kung Fu blood and gore action then The Man With The Iron Fists will definitely not leave you disappointed.

The story is set in the 19th Century China and a blacksmith (RZA) unfortunately lands himself smack in the middle of feuding clans who are battling over control of the local area and a big pay day in the form of emperor’s stash of gold. As a blacksmith he creates weapons for both sides of the battle while at the same time trying to look after his girlfriend (Jamie Chung) who is employed at the local house of ill repute.

For the non-martial arts fan you need to forgive these APR 2013 - issue (27)

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people struggling with the destruction of trust in their marriage. Then boom… Zombies.

Now don’t get me wrong this film isn’t filled with blood thirsty zombies running around the place. There’s not a ton of gore spewing out of every corner of the screen while our hero runs about with a chainsaw. No the zombies are sparse, and all the more terrifying because of it. As I said the story is character driven, it’s a bold move and it pays off.

I wasn’t lying when I said this is one of the best zombie films I’ve seen in years. This film stuck with me for a few hours after the end. I’m a huge fan of zombie films and there’s been rather a few stinkers lately, but this is right up there with the classics. The only thing wrong with this film is the DVD cover. It’s really lazy work from the distributor and the film will end up having some bad reviews on amazon due to idiots looking at the cover and expecting something else. If you are a fan of zombie films, then you need to see this. And if you don’t like it, you’re wrong. Simple as that.

James McCulloch for GoGuide Magazine Movie & DVD Reviewer

W

hat’s this? Paddy from Emmerdale, not only starring in, but writing and directing a zombie film. Has the world gone mad? Did I miss a meeting somewhere? More to the point how the hell did this become one of the best Zombie films I have ever had the pleasure to see. What? What? Whaaaaat?

Dominic Brunt heads off to the country with his wife (Joanne Mitchell) in an attempt to fix their marriage after an affair has almost torn it apart. So they leave the kids with her mother and head off for a merry jaunt. They get to a beautiful house in the middle of nowhere, and begin to settle in. But watch the foreboding, they’ve bloody missed all the slight moments of dread that are around them on their journey.

They’ve only just stumbled into classic zombie film territory.

It doesn’t take long before Paddy almost ruins their little retreat by being a fool, but don’t worry. Something else is about to make it a whole lot worse, you know... The zombies. Now up until this point the film is a really good character driven story following 2

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away. It’s like a classic 80s slasher film with a good few laughs, as you would expect of a film starring Russ Noble. Don’t get me wrong the film doesn’t exactly feel fresh. It’s not going to blow your mind or anything but it’s a whole lot of fun and definitely worth picking up.

James McCulloch for GoGuide Magazine Movie & DVD Reviewer

I

love this time of year, it’s when all the films that looked good at Frightfest start hitting the DVD shelves. There were so many good ones this year I’m not sure my bank balance is going to be able to handle it. But I had to get this one. Russ Noble as a crazy clown. Colour me sold.

So as I mentioned above, Russ Noble stars as Stitches the clown, a rather rubbish alcoholic child entertainer who dies during a kids party. As clown legend goes, his soul cannot rest until he finishes the party. Jump ahead a few years and the kids are now teenagers who decide to have a party again, and Stitches is reborn to wreak havoc on their drunken teenage antics.

The important thing for this kind of film is a good selection of kill scenes and the ones here are great.

They come up with some outstanding moments, a few of which will give you a good giggle. You get to follow round his red nose, and see a rather inventive use of an ice cream scoop and umbrella. The cast look like they’re having a whole lot of fun shooting it too.

It all adds to the fun feel of the film and you enjoy watching it more because of it.

Britain used to make these kind of weird horror comedies all the time, like I bought a vampire motorcycle or Funny Man, and although it’s been a while this one jumps right in like they never went

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audience like fools. It expects you to follow, and you do. It’s definitely worth picking up.

James McCulloch for GoGuide Magazine Movie & DVD Reviewer

I

hate Jessica Biel, nothing can stink up a film more for me than having to see her face stumble through lines. It’s like acting by numbers. The only reason I bought this film is Pascal Laughier. He’s the director behind Martyrs which is quite possibly my favourite horror film of all time. I was interested to see what he could bring out of her and what his first film in English would bring to the table.

I’m pleased I did, the film takes place in a poverty stricken former mining town. Kids are going missing and the abductions are being blamed on The Tall Man. A mythical figure created by the townspeople.

Somethings not quite right in the town, and there’s a real sense of that through the start of the film. Jessica Biel plays a doctor whose child is abducted in a rather amazing scene, she then goes out to find him.

I would actually love to tell you more about what happens in the film but it would ruin a huge chunk of it. It has more twists and turns than a rollercoaster.

All I’m saying is that if you leave the room to get a cup of tea then pause it, cause when you come back the film could be a totally different beast. It’s alarmingly good, as is Jessica Biel (huzzah). It’s really good to see that Pascal Laughier hasn’t crossed the Atlantic and sold out or jumped on the stupid American horror formulaic horror film bandwagon. This film could easily have been made in Europe, and I mean that in a good way. It’s intelligent and doesn’t treat its

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SUIT WITH JAMES MCCULLOCH

MOVIES YOU MIGHT HAVE MISSED ?

MR

him in self-defence one night.

Under house arrest she is tagged with an electronic device that sots her moving more than 100 feet from the base unit installed in her house, hence the title. On her arrival she is visited by her dead husband’s partner, Shanks (Bobby Cannavale), who definitely isn’t buying into the self-defence claim by Marnie and is only waiting for her to mess things up so he can throw her back in jail.

As if that isn’t bad enough, she soon finds that everything isn’t quite ok back at home….

Haunted by the memories she slowly realises that she is not alone in the house and that her dead husband hasn’t finished with her yet.

Over the course of a number of screwed up, intense and inevitably violent experiences we find that he’s not really content with a few wailing noises and banging the odd door shut.

This guy sis seriously pissed off and is gonna take it out on his wife until someone stops him.

I

f you don’t already know I watch a lot of horror movies, and I mean a lot, usually on my own as no one else in the house are fans of that particular genre. So usually I watch one when everyone else is tucked up in their cosy wee beds. I put all the lights out, close all the doors and settle down to a nice wee horror film whenever I get the chance.

For the most part they tend to be movies that have slipped through the mainstream cinema rounds or direct to DVD offerings and I probably wouldn’t recommend them to a normal cinema audience. There are exceptions to the rule with stuff like The Saw and Final Destination series of movies and some other individual films that stand up on their own as really offering a good horror or scary couple of hours worth of entertainment. 100 Feet is definitely one of the later, it is a wee gem of a horror film that I recommend EVERYONE to try to see even if you’re not a horror fan, a good movie is a good movie right? It’s a bit of a horror but truly scary moments as well.

100 Feet is extreme in its terror and like I said at times truly scary. Director Eric Red has got the balance pretty much spot on and preys on our deepest fear of perhaps being alone, in the dark, and unable to escape. The tension builds steadily and is for the most part confined to the immediate house area, due to the tag thingy but that only serves to add an element of claustrophobia and of being trapped in a situation you can’t get away from. A perfect movie for a quiet post-midnight watch.

Mr Suit for GoGuide Magazine Contributor

The story centres around Marnie Watson (Famke Janssen) who has just been released into ‘house arrest’ after serving time in jail for murdering her husband Mike Watson (Michael Pare), who is not only a cop but a really nasty piece of work and prone to taking his frustrations out on his wife. She eventually murders APR 2013 - issue (27)

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GGGAMES CHARTS

GAMING

CHART

The Top 10 BoxOffice games for Playstation, Xbox and PC this month.

PS3 BIOSHOCK INFINITE

X-BOX

GG GAMES CHARTS

1 BIOSHOCK INFINITE 2 TOMB RAIDER

3 FIFA 13

4 GOD OF WAR: ASCENSION 5 CALL OF DUTY: BLACK OPS II

2 3

Kinect Sports: Season Two Skylanders: Spyro’s Adventure Gears of War 3 Rage BIOSHOCK INFINITE

2 SIMCITY

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6 STARCRAFT II: HEART OF THE SWARM 7 TOMB RAIDER 8 THE SIMS 3: SEASONS 9 THE SIMS 3: SUPERNATURAL 10 WORLD OF WARCRAFT: MISTS OF PANDARIA

X-BOX

PS3

5 THE SIMS 3

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10 THE WALKING DEAD: SURVIVAL INSTINCT

6 HALO 4

GEARS OF WAR: 7 CALL OF DUTY: BLACK OPS The Top 10 games for Playstation, Xbox and PC as voted by GoGuide2 JUDGMENT II TOMB RAIDER 8 TIGER WOODS PGA TOUR Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 14 FIFAThe 13Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim 9 ASSASSIN’S CREED III Battlefield 3 FIFA 12 ForzaOF Motorsport 4 ARMY TWO: THE 10 CRYSIS 3 Batman: Arkham City DEVIL’S CARTEL

3 THE SIMS 3: UNIVERSITY LIFE 4 FOOTBALL MANAGER 2013

BIOSHOCK INFINITE

8 ARMY OF TWO: THE DEVIL’S CARTEL 9 FAR CRY 3

1 BIOSHOCK INFINITE

1 Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 2 The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim 4 3 Uncharted 3: Drakes Deception 4 Battlefield 3 5 FIFA 12 5 6 Batman: Arkham City 7 Pro Evolution 2012 BIOSHOCK INFINITE 8 F1 2011 9 Sonic Generations 10 GoldenEye: Reloaded 1

PC

6 TIGER WOODS PGA TOUR 14 7 ASSASSIN’S CREED III

GAMING

with Sam Sheppard for GoGuide Magazine

Games Review and News Contributor

NEWS

Microsoft creative director on ‘always-on’ connections:

‘Deal with it’

Like a bullet to the head the creative director at Microsoft Studios has blurted out the statement that users will have to “deal with” its proposed inclusin of an ‘alwayson’ connections for the anticipated next gen Xbox.

Adam Orth vented his frustrations regarding the ‘drama’ surrounding the proposal on social networking site Twitter, he explained that he doesn’t understand the fuss around the idea of devices having to always be connected.

‘Janesville’ before making these decisions, to which Orth responded: “Why would I live there?”

Orth has been pummelled with bad feedback since the posts and has now protected his Twitter account, but not before a record of his messages were saved online. (see pic care of Digital Spy) In another bizarre twist Development kits for the new Xbox

have apparently been covered with intersecting black and white stripes individual to each kit so that in the event of pics being ‘leaked’ they will know where they came from...

Gees guys its just a console..

The next gen xbox is due to be revealed revealed later this month, with a launch sometime later this year.

pic © digitalspy.co.uk

When he was then re-tweeted by by BioWare designer Manveer Heir with some reasons why some people might not have a constantly ON connection and highlighted recent issues with other online-only games like Diablo 3 and Simcity, he replied with the surprisingly shitty and unprofessional comment of “Electricity goes out too.”

Heir then pointed out that perhaps living in a large well structured city wasn’t necessarily the best place to judge the scale of outer city connection problems and that he should maybe try living in say APR 2013 - issue (27)

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GAMING NEWS

Latest pics and cover released...

S

o Grand Theft Auto V will be released sometime in Sep 2013 in the UK and Rockstar North insist on keeping our appetites well and truly wet by releasing a wealth of screen-shots from the game.

GTA V

Not exactly sure how many are out there but we’ve chosen a few to help get your GTA fix. From the pics it looks like there is a lot more for you to get your teeth into with some showing you Sky Diving, Scuba Diving, riding bikes, quads and even potentially flying biplanes and jets among the usual helicopters, more akin to San Andreas than GTA 4.

Released Tues April 2nd – The GTA V Cover Checkout our FULL GTA V image collection over @

www.goguidemagazine.co.uk/wordpress/2013/04/01/gta-v/ Page 110

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GAMING

REVIEW

T

he new Tomb Raider reboots the entire series and goes back in time to recreate Lara Croft and redefine one of gaming’s legitimate pop culture icons. With death-defying action sequences, bloody battles with man and beast, puzzles solving and open areas to explore will this reboot bring justice to the Tomb Raider name?

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From the start, Tomb Raider is an enjoyable and skilful game and bringing along all we know and love of a modern blockbuster. The landscape may not be as open world as you think, with mission adjectives only ever leading you forward, there are multiple paths to take and explore and the ability to fast travel between visited camp-sites allow you take find secrets that you couldn’t locate with equipment back then.

Lara’s friends have been kidnapped after a surprise storm destroys there boat, after breaking free from her own bonds and escaping an unforgiving cave, Lara must avoid confrontation early in the game.

APR 2013 - issue (27)

However the moment you are given a gun, this frightened new explorer instantly transforms into a Rambo like predator, leaving nothing but death behind her, and while Lara clearly is emotionally shaken when she’s forced to kill her first animal and human soon after everything moving just becomes bodies of XP. Throughout the Lara will take severe beating from the story but is nothing that affects the game-play, except on only one occasion, is just merely for show further emphasize the danger. Lara will seemingly shrug off bullets with only immediate and gruesome fatalities coming from quick time cinematic events.

Tomb Raider allows Lara to upgrade

weapons hone on new skills to make you a more of an efficient killer or survivor but mainly killer, you will also find new equipment that allows you to reach new places, overcome obstacles such as using your bow to make a rope.

Mastering the Island is what you feel you are achieving, although rewards are given for things like getting to hard to reach locations but are nothing more than relics, randomly placed pieces of someone’s journal or GPS caches, guessing these are someones Geocaches your stealing but hey ho ;-) . The optional Tombs are where the real puzzles linger, sadly though there are only a handful of them. Even though it’s

a minor element, Tomb Raiding is obsessive and a brain teasingly fun even if the treasure chest at the end is just junk and XP. The only issue is that the transformation of Lara Croft is in away ruined due to the fact that in the she is merciless killer, there is one small occasion where you can sneak passed 2/3 enemies but ultimately end up killing them once you realize the sneaking part more like a lioness stalking behind its prey in the grass.

fans of the series should consider it. Never mind the games mediocre multiplayer, which is more of a bad version of the Uncharted series multiplayer, Tomb Raider is proving to be a good start for the reboot.

GGG Sam Sheppard for GoGuide Magazine

Games Review and News Contributor

With just a little identity crisis Tomb Raider can become something great, not saying though that the game is bad, hands down it’s really good APR 2013 - issue (27)

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REVIEW

T

he Vengeful Spartan Warrior Kratos returns in a prequel to God of War franchise and seeks to free himself from his bond to Ares the God of War and is hunted down by the accurately named The Furies who consistently poison the mind of Kratos.

The game starts off with

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Kratos imprisoned by the Furies being punished for breaking his bond with Ares, after Kratos has broken free the story then shifts back and forward leading up to the events of his Imprisonment.

Throughout God of War: Ascensions, Kratos finds himself performing many of the same deeds he does in the previous games, striking up combos, engaging in

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REVIEW

awe-inspiring cinematic quicktime events and occasionally solving a few puzzles. The combat still remains simple but effective, swinging the Blades of Chaos across your screen and ultimately weakening your foes for a brutal execution. Like in the previous games, a rage meter will grow as you deal out damage to your enemies, this time it will decrease when you are damaged or fail to stay consistent on the attacking.

Once the rage meter is full your strikes become more vicious and open up opportunities to deal out special abilities, the choice to change to from elemental powers, magic powers and secondary weapons provide more of a fight out of the Spartan. The game now feels a more skillbased relying on high combos becomes something much more than an achievement.

With mainly brute force Ascensions is pretty much easy to overcome, skill will be Page 120

needed though for a particularly excruciating segment near the end. The camera angles have worked well in past games there are some moments where it would be nice to have some exactness when fighting a larger enemy, while some segments can be achieved without much skill the difficulty setting can be spice the challenge.

Collectible items that serve as cheats after you’ve cleared the game for the first time are extremely easy to find and hard to miss, not even a player doing the slightest bit of exploration can almost certainly find chests and completely increase both health and magic meter.

character and a ton of modes and arenas are assembled with traps and tricks to always keep one on their toes. The Trials of the Gods mode gives a solo and co-op horde mode where you can gain some XP and ravish the A.I. without the disturbance without having a story to worry about.

God of War Ascensions is more or less the same as the previous God of War, taking a few more bold moves but still sticking close to what it’s well known.

The multiplayer will attract some intrigued players, while some may not even bother. Ascensions may not be different but stands proudly in amongst the franchise.

The God of War franchise now moves into the multiplayer space, with offbeat but addicting results. With the standard XP and challenges allows players Sam Sheppard for GoGuide Magazine to unlock weapons, magic, Games Review and News Contributor and armour to customize the

GGGG

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REVIEW

T

he Walking Dead Survival Instincts, based on the critically acclaimed Walking Dead TV show, the game follows the path Daryl Dixon and his brother Merle in a prelude before the events of TV series.

The game is far from perfect and not Page 122

worth its full retail price, if anything it’s a £9.99 - £14.99 downloadable game. The game as a whole feels and looks rushed, it should probably had another six months of development to improve on gameplay and visuals and with Dead Island Riptide arriving next month Survival Instincts is going to have some serious competition to buyers.

The gameplay mainly focuses on stealth and cleverly sneak passed walkers, although you can go swinging and gun blazing but 1 APR 2013 - issue (27)

-2 walkers may be easy enough to kill but taking on a horde is certain death. I a nice feature is the execution kill that you can perform when behind a walker, it’s something you see on the TV series and works well in the game and walkers can sometimes grab you activating a mini-game of struggle were you can instant kill the walker as well, also a nice touch that walkers can smell you so no lingering for too long near the undead.

On your journey to escape the

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GAMING

REVIEW

outbreak, there are some optional quests to find a new vehicle and survivors, before starting a mission you can manage your survivors to find ammo, food, fuel or stay in the car. On some occasions you can choose you next destination to travel via highway, streets or back roads all of which have a positive/ negative affect on your vehicle.

Visually the game doesn’t look appealing either looking more like Page 124

an Indie game. Some of the details of the walkers could even be placed into the Telltales Games The Walking Dead with comic books looks and you couldn’t tell the difference.

The story awful and the voice acting don’t seem to fit moment events in the game, interacting with other survivors when possible it’s always dire and a mood killer and gives no signs of fear or anger whatever the case may be.

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With a few graphical glitches the only annoyance is mainly zombies spawning, to me it’s always annoying when you kill a bunch of enemies, zombies in this case, and you leave the area for 5 minutes and there all back again, it’s not like if there’s a genuine believable reason why they have just appeared.

The Walking Dead Survival Instincts is not the best game you’ll ever play, and with another FPS zombie

Survival game Dead Island Riptide coming next month it’s a no brainer on what game you would rather want, Unless you just want the game just because it’s The Walking Dead franchise and you play as fan favourite Daryl or you can wait for a major price drop.

GGG Sam Sheppard for GoGuide Magazine

Games Review and News Contributor APR 2013 - issue (27)

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OUTABOUT &

IN WEST LOTHIAN

The Bennie Museum

The Bennie Museum opened in 1989 as a museum of Bathgate’s history and life. It is run entirely by volunteers under the management of a Charitable Trust. It has been commended by the Association of Scottish Visitor Attractions. www.benniemuseum.org.uk 11am - 4pm (Apr to Sep) & 11am -3.30pm (Oct to Mar) - FREE 9-11 Mansefield Street, Bathgate, EH48 4HU 01506 634944

Almond Valley Heritage Trust,

Almond Valley is operated as a popular leisure destination that appeals to a diverse audience and promotes learning through discovery, family interaction and play. We also operate a formal education programme. www.almondvalley.co.uk Millfield, Livingston, EH54 7AR 01506 414957

The Garage Skatepark

The Garage Skatepark is an indoor skatepark based in Livingston which is being improved on constantly to give skaters the best experience around. The park is open to Skateboards ,Inline Skates and BMX. Kids under 16 wanting to ride at the park will be required to wear a helmet. The park also has its very own shop stocking Boards, Wheels, Trucks, T-shirts and other accessories. www.thegarage.zxq.net Mon - Sat: 10am - 10pm - Sun: 10am - 8pm 5D Grange Road, Houston Industrial Estate, EH54 5DE 01506 530892

Bankhead Mountainball

Like many ‘extreme’ sports, Zorbing, Orbing or Sphereing was created in New Zealand back in 1994. The concept is quite simple, you build a human sphere which can accommodate up to two fully grown adults, secure them inside then let them roll down a hill in it (hamsters have been exercised for many years in a very similar way!) www.bankheadmountainball.co.uk Contact for opening hours Bankhead Farm, Dechmont, Broxburn, EH52 6NB 01506 811209

Delta Force Paintball

Delta Force Paintball provides world class paintballing in Scotland. In addition to the scenery, incredible game zones provide players with an adrenalin-fuelled day of paintball action all year round. www.paintballgames.co.uk Weekends + 1 Weekday - check online for details Off Burnhouse Road, Dechmont, Livingston, EH49 6PL 0844 477 5050 Page 128

APR 2013 - issue (27)

A1 PAINTBALL

A1 Paintball was established in 2002 with one goal in mind, giving their customers an open and honest paintball experience from start to finish and with no hidden extras. They provide only the very best and most comprehensive paintballing equipment and event management.

Haggs Road Wood Burnwynd, Nr Edinburgh, Midlothian EH27 8ED 01501 741709

Funtastic Fantasy Golf Limited

Miniature golf arena but it’s one with a difference it’s BLACK-LIGHT UV which means that not only do the 3D prop’s glow in the dark but also the golf balls and art work on the wall do too. This facility is a fantastic family day out for all ages & abilities with a cafe that sell homemade food made onsite at their cafe ‘Dino Bites’

Mon - Sun: 10:00 am - 10:00 pm 3 St Andrews Way, Livingston, EH54 8HQ 07935 576943

Racing Karts

Racing Karts quickly established itself as a force in Indoor Kart Racing due to its attention to safety, cleanliness and customer satisfaction.

They like to call themselves ‘The Friendly Circuit’ www.racingkarts.co.uk Times: Booking required - call to arrange Arrol Square, Deans Industrial Estate, Livingston, EH54 8QZ 01506 410123

Livingston Skate Park

The Livingston Skatepark opened in 1981, at a time when most commercial skateparks were closing and was one of the most important facilities in Britain during a critical period in the development of skateboarding. It is an example of a free, unsupervised facility which achieved international status.

Daylight access all year round FREE 16 Northwood Park, Opposite Almondvale Shopping Centre, Livingston, EH54 6HR

Deer Park Ten Pin Bowling

Deer Park Bowling Centre is a 16 Lane Bowling Centre with the capacity to hold 128 bowlers. There is a bar and food served throughout. At ‘Late night Glow Bowling’ the lights are dimmed and the lanes come alive with GLOW IN THE DARK, ULTRA VIOLET lighting effects and music. www.deer-park.co.uk Mon-Thur: 4pm-10pm / Fri: 12pm-midnight / Sat: 10am-midnight / Sun: 10am-10pm Golf Course Road, Livingston, EH54 8AB - 01506 446699 PAGE 129 APR 2013 - issue (27)

OUTABOUT &

IN WEST LOTHIAN

Five Sisters Zoo

The Five Sisters Zoo was established in 2005 and is the only wildlife attraction centre in West Lothian. With over 100 different species of animals, birds and reptiles from all around the world your visit will be a fun, enjoyable and educational one - all ages. www.fivesisterszoo.co.uk Open 7 Days a week - 10am - 6pm (5pm Winter half of year) Gavieside, West Calder, EH55 8PT 01506 871 111

Overboard Soft Play

Overboard Soft Play is an exciting indoor Soft Play and entertainment venue for kids aged 0-11 yrs. They have it all, from chutes to ball pits to go-karts to ball cannons. With an underwater theme and seperate play zones for different age groups and abilities, your children are sure to have a great time from the minute they arrive until it’s time to go home. www.overboardsoftplay.com Wed - Sun: 10:15 am - 6:00 pm 3 St Andrews Way, Livingston, EH54 8HQ - 01506 873888

Paradise Island Adventure Golf

2 courses spanning 13,000 sq/ft of adventure golfing paradise. With a golfing adventure that takes you from a ship wreck through sea caves to a desert island with a lost lagoon. www.paradiseislandgolf.com/livingston Mon-Thurs - 11am - 10pm / Fri 11am - 11pm Sat 10am - 11pm / Sun 10am - 10pm Livingston Designer Outlet, Almondvale Avenue, Livingston EH54 6QX - 01506 415 546

If you own a business that offeres stuff to do in the West Lothian area why not drop us some details and we will try our best to get it added to the Out & About section for both the mag and the web site.

If you know of any activities that are open to the public and don’t feature in mag yet please feel free to drop us a message about them (with a web link if possible) content@goguidemagazine.co.uk www.goguidemagazine.co.uk Page 130

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MOVIES QUIZ 2

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MOVIE POSTER QUIZ

FAMOUS POSTERS WITH JUST A WEE BIT OF AN

EDIT - NAMES?

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CLASSIC MOVIE POSTERS 101

T

he Blues Brothers is a 1980 American musical comedy film directed by John Landis and starring John Belushi and Dan Aykroyd as “Joliet” Jake and Elwood Blues, characters developed from the The Blues Brothers musical sketch on the NBC variety series Saturday Night Live. It features musical numbers by R&B, soul, and blues singers James Brown, Cab Calloway, Aretha Franklin, Ray Charles, and John Lee Hooker. The film is set in and around Chicago, Illinois, and also features non-musical supporting performances by John Candy, Carrie Fisher, Charles Napier, and Henry Gibson.

The story is a tale of redemption for paroled convict Jake and his brother Elwood, who take on “a mission from God” to save from foreclosure the Catholic orphanage in which they grew up. To do so they must reunite their rhythm and blues band and organize a performance to earn $5,000 to pay the tax assessor. Along the way, they are targeted by a destructive “mystery woman,” Neo-Nazis, and a country band, all while being relentlessly pursued by Page 132 APR 2013 -and issuewestern (27) the police.