Sep 2013 issue (32)

SEP 2013 - issue (32)

LOCAL BAND FEATURES - REVIEWS - GIGS - EVENTS - INTERVIEWS - GAMING - MOVIES - LIFE(STYLE) - FITNESS - ART - TV - DVD - OUT & ABOUT - MOBILE APPS - QU

THE

S T O O R S GRAS TAGE PARTY IN THEN

PARK 2013

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FITNESS WITH

www.goguidemagazine.co.uk

T.O.D COACHING

CONTENT

ContentsSEP 2013 - issue (32)

WHAT’S INSIDE THIS MONTHS ISSUE...

- - - - - - - MUSIC - - - - - - -

- - - - - - - TV & DVD - - - - - - DVD CHART (pg84)

GOGUIDE GRASSROOTS STAGE (pg4) BASS 2 MOUTH (pg8) MUSIC QUIZ (pg10)

TOP 10 DVD’S THIS MONTH

DVD WALL - OUT THIS MONTH (pg85)

New music quiz - answers on (pg120)

Some DVD’s being released this month

WHAT’S ON GUIDE (pg12)

SONS OF ANARCHY (pg86) SHIELD (pg88)

What’s on in the local area.

- - - - - - LIFE(STYLE) - - - - - -

DVD REVIEWS (pg92) EVIL DEAD SPECIAL / DEAD MAN DOWN / FAST AND FURIOUS 6 / RUN FOR YOUR WIFE / PREACHING TO THE PERVERTED / COMPLIANCE / IT’S A DISASTER

APPEARANCE IS POWER (pg18) STUDENT FLATMATES (pg20) 5-A-SIDES STUDENT SPECIAL (pg24) FEEDMENOW RECIPE - STUDENT SPECIAL (pg26)

MOVIE YOU MIGHT HAVE MISSED (pg99) James M’s MYMHM, well Mr Suits anyway - EDEN LAKE

PHONE APPS (pg30) WORMS 2 ARMAGEDDON / TUNEIN RADIO APPS/GAMES CHARTS (pg32)

- - - - - - - GAMES - - - - - - -

Our top 10 FREE and PAID apps charts for Android and iPhones.

GAME CHARTS (pg102)

Top 10 games across PS3, Xbox and PC.

- - - FITNESS WITH T.O.D - - -

REVIEWS & FEATURES

RUNNERS SPECIAL (pg34)

ROME II (pg104) SPLINTER CELL BLACKLIST (pg108) SAINTS ROW IV (pg114)

T.O.D. on RUNNING

- - - - - - - MOVIES - - - - - - -

- - - - - - - OUT & ABOUT - - - - - - O&A (pg118)

FEATURES

Out and about with some great indoor and outdoor stuff to get up to in the local area

MOVIE NEW RELEASES (pg44)

All the new releases in cinemas this month.

MOVIE QUIZ (pg45)

QUIZ ANSWERS (pg120)

This month its a new quiz - movie posters - answers on (pg120)

Music and Video Quiz answers

THIS MONTHS BOXOFFICE TOP 10 (pg48)

CLASSIC MOVIE POSTERS (back page 122)

REVIEWS & FEATURES

THE CALL (pg52) RIDDICK (pg58) THE WOLVERINE (pg64) WE’RE THE MILLERS (pg70) PAIN AND GAIN (pg76) THE HEAT (pg78) THE LONE RANGER (pg82)

We take a look back at some classic movie posters.

FEEDMENOW GRASSROOTS - THE BEGBIES

Who are GOGUIDE...???

BASS 2 MOUTH

T.O.D. COACHING

We try to ensure our information is correct before uploading but some details are subject to change. PLEASE check online or with each location directly for fully up to date information.

GOGUIDE is a local online magazine for the West Lothian area.

We try to be less focused on local ‘news’ and more a targetted on, ‘what’s on’ or ‘happening’ in the local area.

We do have a pretty modern approach to GoGuide content and eventually hope to produce articles on subjects outside our usual stuff such as Clubbing, Theatre, Internet, Sport etc.. www.goguidemagazine.co.uk - www.myspace.com/goguide - www.facebook.com/GoGuideMagazineWestLothian With the vast majority of our content sourced from local contributors we are always on the lookout for new people to join us and help provide input to this content hungry mag so if your keen on writing stuff and getting it published in the mag feel free to drop us a message at content@goguidemagazine.co.uk

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SEP 2013 - issue (32)

J M RECORDINGS offers high quality, polished recordings at very reasonable price across ALL genres. Working with full bands, duo’s and solo artists is never a problem and there are special rates for multiple track recordings such as EP’s or Albums.

For a quote please email me with your band name as the subject and include how many songs you would like to record, ideal recording dates and any website info.

I also offer remixes, mastering and tracking services, please email for a quote.

If required, drum tracks are recorded at a location/studio of your choice with bass,guitars and vocals all tracked and mixed at my Edinburgh based home studio.

www.facebook.com/jmrecordings www.soundcloud.com/jm-recordings

www.jmrecordings.co.uk bookings@jmrecordings.co.uk - JM Recordings - Edinburgh - Scotland SEP 2013 - issue (32)

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MUSIC

FEATURE

E H T

S T O O R S S

GRA

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STAGE

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C

hangeable is all that can be said weather-wise for the weeks run in to this years Party in the Park with mostly torrential downpours towards the end of the week. As preparations got into full swing on Sat we had so far been hit with wind, rain and just a tiny wee bit of sun. It seemed to be moking us, making wee appearances throughout the day just to give us an idea of how things ‘might’ have been.

Sunday morning brought a typically sombre outlook for the day ahead with a mostly cloudy, windy and rainy being forcast. It wasn’t cold, but it wasn’t warm and for an outdoor, all day event, things were looking decidedly dodgy for the first ever GoGuide Grassroots Stage.

With the wind now kicking up a storm the first act takes to the stage in the form of young 4 piece The Extracts do much more than an admirable job of opening things up with a bang as they thunder through their short set and give the waiting crowd a taste of things to come. The band sound damn fine and have a good collection of pop/rock tunes, bordering on that modern punk sound of say The Strokes, although I’m in no way saying they sound like them. The front of house (or field) sound is pretty amazing and the stage looks pretty sweet but as the band finish off their set the weather plays its ace card and drops a major problem smack bang in the GoGuide crew’s laps in the form of an inconspicuous big black curtain.

In order to get as many bands and artists the exposure they deserve at a local event GoGuide had decided to have solo artists perform on stage while the bands were setting up behind them. As a mark of respect to the solo artists there was a curtain rigged up that closed between acts. Due to the high winds this caused huge problems on stage and took a couple of key members of the team and other volunteers away from what they were supposed to be doing in order to try to deal with it. A good idea, had it not been for some really high winds at times.

Anyway, between acts throughout the day we were treated to a few minutes of light-hearted comedy, or banter to you and I, from local comedian Gareth Mutch who started the day the way he ended it 6 hours later, with a smile and a good few quick witted remarks. Fresh from a stunning run of shows at the Edinburgh Fringe, which left him with a super sexy husky voice, Gareth kindly donated all his time for the whole day for nothing just to help out. It was so much appreciated by the GoGuide team and he

did an amazing job despite having lost most of his voice, and somehow managed to keep everyone’s spirits up throughout the whole day. Cheers mate.

The first of the solo artists to brave the windy conditions was Lewis Capaldi who’s amazing vocal talents blew everyone away and as such earned himself a wee slot on the main stage filling in for a no show. The power in Lewis’s voice is just quite breath-taking and the young man certainly has a bright future ahead of him if today’s performance is anything to go by.

Following Lewis on stage were blues rockers Dixie Fried with a set too short for my liking but still managing to get a good feel over for their blues country vibe despite a mid-set technical hiccup. The boys recovered well and pulled of a slick, punchy set that went down well with the watching crowd.

Up next and without any real delay, thanks mostly to the wacky curtain idea, is Michael Sharp. Freshly arrived down in Londonia Mr Sharp entertains using a super smooth style that oozes the grassroots class we love to see. He kicks his set off with a Johnny Cash cover ‘Folsom Prison Blues’ showing a surprisingly more rocky blues side to his repertoire than I expected.

Teenage China are up next with a sound and performance that matches their ‘to die for’ equipment list. Good amps don’t make you a good band, but good amps setup behind a really, really good band make a sh*t hot mix that brightens the day up no end despite the proverbial ‘post hardcore’ leaning to the overall sound and lyrical content no doubt.

The band ends their set by playing recently released EP Forth in its entirety which was a real treat.

As Teenage China departs local legend Ross Mitchell takes to the stage and treats us to a blend of his own original material plus a couple of cool covers as well. Ross not only works hard on his own musical stuff but also goes out of his way to help a lot of other local musicians and among other things runs live nights from The Corrie bar in Armadale.

Myop1k, consisting of DJ Craig Cumming and his 2 trusty decks and mixer bring a welcome sideways switch to the day and show just how diverse the local music scene really is.

Myop1k blends classic house tunes with some of his own production tunes to pull off what for me was one of the highlights of the day. Maybe weird to see in the middle of a load of bands but this is exactly what the Grassroots stage is all about in highlighting all of these working musicians who are actively plying their trade in the clubs and bars of the wee places we call home. It’s a storming set which has the younger elements of the crowd on their feet for most of the show.

After a short break from the live action for a local dance troupe to strut their stuff

SEP 2013 - issue (32)

for a wee bit we are treated to the local enigma that is Lovers Turn To Monsters. The brainchild of one Kyle Wood who’s take on a tune is amazingly brought to the stage with just his trusty acoustic, his unique voice, jaunty baseball cap and last but not least, his infectious bloody personality, all of which he uses to great effect throughout his set of ‘acoustic emo indie pop’ tunes – even when a tad under the weather ;-). LTTM again pull off one of the sets of the day and show just how talented a person young Mr Wood really is with a collection of original and covers to die for. Special mention for a spectacular cover of the awesome ‘This House’ by local legends in the making, The Black Balloons, who unfortunately just missed making this year’s line-up due to communication issues (we thought we’d asked them, we hadn’t, by the time we found out it was too late, we know, we’ve been kicking ourselves ever since - ED) A band I love just as much as The BB’s however was there, and smashed it big style, The Sunset Clause are an awesome band and played a stunning set chock full of their classic windswept indie rock tunes. They play with heart and they play with passion and it comes over perfectly like that. I truly couldn’t fault the guys… oh wait, they did do one dodgy cover by 80’s band Men Without Hats, If you’re gonna pick an 80’s tune to cover, The Safety Dance is defo not one that I’d have chosen ;-)…. But yeh… I’m nit-picking.

After all that excitement it’s time for a moment of magic with the sombre genius that is Boletes. Probably not a lot of the assembled crowd would have appreciated the beauty of Boletes on a semi wet and windy but for me it was a tiny wee bit of magic, and if even one other person got it even in the slightest and picks up either of the Boletes releases out there I can almost guarantee that they haven’t stopped listening to it. The Boletes sound is a beautiful mix of sensitivity, emotion and human insight and is put across like nothing else you would hear even if this event went on for 7 more days of solid music. The music demands you take notice or it risks washing over the unsuspecting ears which unfortunately for a family fun day crowd it might just have happened. Taking to the stage in a brown Aran sweater, tussled hair and beard Boletes could easily be mistaken for a wayward fisherman just off the boat and he might have brought the weather with him as the wind picks up and the rain begins to drizzle… perfectly apt for the Boletes sound if you ask me and the bells just topped off an absolutely beautiful set played perfectly despite the weather and The Pigeon in the Murder has to be the tune of the day… just sublime. Get FLAWS now and you will get it, I promise.

For me such a hard act to follow, so how do you do that? Ummmm, well Penfold of course. Kicking off where The Sunset Clause left off, these young guys seem to have pretty much the same ethos as TSC, give it your all, PAGE 5

MUSIC

FEATURE

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GRASSROOTS

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enjoy yourself and hit us with your 5 best songs… its easy really. With the weather still just not playing at all the Penfold guys power through their set and even manage to bridge the dreaded 10 feet of crowd ‘no man’s land’ at the front of the stage for their finisher. Sound is awesome again for the guys and highlight for me is when drummer Liam takes over vocal/guitar duties for a stunning rendition of And The Beast from the Exactly How It Happened single, just phenomenal dudes.

He’s cool and he’s ‘Eusky’, or Ewan Butler to you and I, and he fills the gap admirably as the headlining acoustic act for the day.

Having been on the local scene for a good few years he could easily be called the granddaddy of acoustic indie and has, if you ask me anyway, influenced a good few of the current crop of young gunslingers of the local acoustic indie scene out there.

After a few chords it’s plain to see why Eusky is headlining today with his trademark Nutini‘esque delivery to his songs (bet he’s fed up of that comparison) but with a more gritty edge than any of Paulo’s stuff that I’ve heard. He’s a cool dude that takes his set in his stride, like he’s done it a million times before, but somehow still fills each song with passion and intensity. It’s all very effortless and that is despite it now definitely being hoods up ‘n’ woolly hats weather. Even with cold hand Ewan still manages to pull off a super cool set that sets us up nicely for the headline act of the day.

GoGuide Grassroots Stage Headliners The Begbies have everything going for them and it’s good to see them in a nice wee local setting before it’s too late and we have to settle for bussing it everywhere to catch them. They have an eclectic look to them and to you probably wouldn’t be able to guess what kind of sound you were going to get from looking at the 5 piece back stage. There are tinges of a whole clutter of stuff mixed into their set; indie rock, reggae, ska, punk and even a wee tinge of doowop…. Oh and Rodger Whittaker as well. They a good few killer tunes under their belt and bring out their big guns today and nail every

one kicking off with set openers Loves to Pretend and on to Ballad and Spend a Little Time Alone. Then the opening ringing notes of Something About Niki fill the Grassroots area like a glorious and pure indie war cry reminiscent of something the Stone Roses would have been proud to have on their set list (or even the tribute band who were playing in Bathgate the night before for a small fortune – but The Begbies are playing their own stuff and not someone else’s). The guys must be feeling comfy as they then treat us to a debut live performance of Chasing Dreams from their debut album It’s Not Good Music, It’s Good Grammar and a wee ska dance tune Too Experienced which has some of the crowd literally dancing in the grassy isles. The set continues in much the same vain until finally, from out of nowhere, that wee drum fill and those 4 opening chords of Ashleigh blast out from the 8ft high speaker stacks on either side of the stage and the guys proceed to hurtle through a stonking rendition of their most catch and mature tune to date to end their set.

A killer track for a killer band to end a killer day of local music…. until next year … perhaps?

Words by Mr Suit for GoGuide Magazine Contributor

SEP 2013 - issue (32)

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MUSIC

FEATURE

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SEP 2013 - issue (32)

BASS 2 MOUTH N ew regular urban collective 'Bass 2 Mouth' is a West Lothian based collaboration of Dubstep/Drum and Bass artists and promoters. After beginning in Summer 2013 with their first successful (and generously free) club night held at The Attic in Bathgate, the organisation quickly received notice from other similar entrepreneurs from all over Scotland and have since arranged several other events, including up and coming shows in Glasgow with some other well established names.

The event is managed by local photographer Adrian McNab (featured in last momths edition of GoGuide) and always has a varied array of producers performing.

Having attended the last event, whilst wearing a police hat so as to make sure nobody does any drugs, (because we all know drugs make you join terrorist groups and kill cute cats and completely ruin raves for everyone), I found the room full of friendly, familiar West-Low faces and electro enthusiasts all drinking, chatting and dancing whilst mega-star scratch master Matti Mack bouncingly pumped bass heavy rhythms from the huge PA system. The array of gadgetry on stage was like the cockpit of a space shuttle. The crowd didn't hesitate to jump up and make the whole event a night long sweaty dance marathon whilst the rest of us got drunk on cheap drinks and posed like pr*cks for hired photographers.

I asked B2M artist/DJ 'Tromso' (A.K.A Robin Van Trotwinkle) what he liked most about performing and he told me it was, “the rush you get when people go mad after you've dropped a belter.�

Translation: The thrill when people move to the music.

100% Vinyl Drum & Bass v Dubstep events in and around West Lothian... Get involved! www.facebook.com/BASSTOMOUTHEVENTS SEP 2013 - issue (32)

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MUSIC

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SEP 2013 - issue (32)

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WHAT’S ON

WHAT’S ON...

SEPTEMBER

MUSIC

CHECKOUT OUR EVENTS PAGE @ WWW.GOGUIDEMAGAZINE.CO.UK/WORDPRESS/EVENTS-CALENDAR OR THE BANDS & VENUES SITE FOR FULL DETAILS

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CHECK ONLINE FOR YOUR AREAS NEXT EVENT

www.facebook.com/pages/Rock-a-Buy-Baby-Kids-Market

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CHECK DATES ONLINE

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LIFE(STYLE)

APPEARANCE IS POWER

B

eauty, and how to obtain it, is constantly being discussed by men and women worldwide in some form or other, and most countries in the developed world now seem to have almost unobtainable standards of beauty that oversaturate the media.

Yet no country seems to be so absorbed in it like South Korea.

It’s a well-known fact that the people of South Korea hold appearance in high esteem, and as years have gone by it seems that it has become somewhat of a national obsession.

It is not uncommon for South Korean people to comment on any and every aspects of people’s appearance, yet unlike the Western world it isn’t just focused on celebrities. The discussions of appearances and beauty are so common place amongst ordinary people that it has been known to influence decisions about hiring people. With seemingly everyday decisions, as well as those that require more thought, being based partly on

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The rise of make-up in South Korea

superficial criteria such as ‘which candidate looks better?’, the struggle to be noticed and considered for anything in life rises in South Korea’s already competitive society.

Knowing this, it is no surprise that the beauty industry took notice and began producing and selling products that would meet the demands of this ever-growing market. The beauty industry in South Korea is huge and has represented a reasonable amount of the South Korean economy in the last few years, whilst promising to continue the trend into the future. However this may not have happened if the products weren’t of good quality. So what makes Korean make-up so good?

Mary Schook, owner of M.S. Apothecary, has said that South Korea is about 12 years ahead of the US in terms of technology. This is not just true for electronics and internet speed, but for the science behind make-up and skin care too. This probably stemmed from the historical concept in South Korea that having light skin meant that you came from a noble family. With the continuation of this concept, the demand for skin whitening products could have helped to prompt beauty industries to develop new technologies for SEP 2013 - issue (32)

the make-up they produced.

With such a high demand and the safe assumption that the beauty industry is a highly profitable one, many Korean make-up and skincare companies naturally compete with each other. However, another reason why Korean make-up is so popular and sought after is that it is more often than not made with natural or organic ingredients and is of a high quality, and is usually very cheap compared to Western counterparts. Korean make-up has a tendency to be both highquality and cheap compared to Japanese products which tend to be of similar quality but more expensive and Chinese products which tend to be of similar price but lower quality.

The South Korean image of beauty tends to be different to the Western perspective of beauty. Whilst the majority of the Western world sees the use of colour as a key aspect of a beautiful face – the smokey eye, the red lips, and the pink cheeks – South Korea sees a fresh, clean face as the pinnacle of beauty.

For this reason, a lot of make-up is devoted to healthy skin, such as the now globally sold BB cream - a product initially developed

by German clinicians for application after

Image by spoiledpretty.com

FEATURE

non-invasive beauty procedures, to help with appearance and healing. Korean clinicians took this concept and bettered it, adding more functions such as anti-aging, spot diminishing and skin balancing properties to it. BB cream is not the only make-up product for fresh, healthy looking skin. The market is bursting with a huge variety of products for every age, skin type and need.

But the rise of make-up didn’t just occur through innovative technology and a high demand from consumers, the Hallyu wave had a hand in it too.

There is no doubt that cosmetic sales are lifted by not only the endorsements by celebrities, but also just by their mere physical appearance. An example of this can be seen in Girls Generation.

The promotion of the girls almost always has them looking fresh faced and natural, and this could be a driving force behind the fresh-faced trend.

Image by kristinandcory.com

However, the make-up industry in South Korea is not fully dependent on the use of celebrities – the focus is more on quality.

Victoria Tickle for GoGuide Magazine

Contributor

SEP 2013 - issue (32)

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LIFE(STYLE) FEATURE

University is one of the most complex times of life, and everyone is trying to find ways of making it less stressful – including those in charge of allocating students to their residences. You would think that a job like this would require some plan with an intelligent design behind it. However based on who most of us will end up living with, it seems the only strategy in play is eeniemeenie-miney-mo.

Imagine student accommodation like a bag of pick and mix sweets. You’re never really sure exactly what you’ll get, or how many of your favourite types are in there. All of the sweets will look so bright, colourful and enticing when you first get them, but too many can make you very, very sick. This will be the same with the flatmates you will end up with.

If you’re very lucky you will like all of your sweeties, but you may find some of them to Page 20

be sour and quite hard to swallow.

I have found there to be three main types of flatmate and they can all slot neatly into the traffic light colours: the Green, the Yellow and the Red. Now the aim is to get all Greens, but realistically you’re likely to get mostly Yellows, at least one Red and if you’re lucky you’ll get a Green.

Let’s start with the Yellows. The Yellows really aren’t all too bad, but it’s what they do on occasion that can be the real bummer.

When the odd bits of food go missing (and they will) it will always be the Yellows. This is because they will think that they know you well enough to be able to do this without asking because “you won’t mind”. They will also never own up to this. The Yellows will also always be the ones in the shower when you are already late for lectures, or don’t spray air freshener after making a messy sacrifice to the toilet gods.

They will also be the ones to play that song you can’t stand at a decibel level that could shatter windows. If they aren’t playing music, they will be the ones who share a bedroom wall with you and spend the night making not-so-sweet music with someone they just met. But despite these little annoyances, the Yellows are usually people you can have the occasional drink and a laugh with. Not lifelong pals, but a nice middle ground.

Then there are the Reds. If you find yourself living with a Red, prepare for war. The Reds are usually the people that everyone in your flat can’t stand, so you won’t be fighting this battle alone. But expect the worst from these people. Some example of Red work has

Image by mugley @ flickr

S

everal people from all walks of life are thrown together in close quarters with one bathroom, one kitchen and a personal space no bigger than the average prison cell. Each of them has a complex history and lifestyles that can be pushed to the extreme: and no one knows anyone else in the city.

Sounds like a Channel 4 reality television show right? Well it’s more dramatic and much more real than any TV show. Welcome to student halls.

mates

STUDENT FLAT

been: leaving fresh bowls of vomit outside peoples doors. Or when two Red girls lived with each other, attacks were made even more personal. One put toothbrushes in the toilet every night; the other urinated in face washes and shampoos. However, none of these take the crown. No, that belongs to a Red I used to live with who ejaculated all over the toilet seat and cistern and left it there. I was first on the scene and asked him to clean it up. The response I got was this: “I didn’t do it. It was probably you”. He could have a valid argument if it weren’t for the fact that I’m a girl and don’t possess that particular biological talent.

But no matter what the Yellows and Reds throw at you, the Greens will be there to make it all better. The Greens are the greatest people on earth. These are the people that will be there through it all with you. They bring the fun in. I have a Green who loves to greet people by posting his privates through the letter box; it’s always good for a laugh when they don’t know you’ve brought your parents. The Greens will also be the ones who play the Xbox with you to the point where both of your eyes bleed. When the Xbox isn’t enough, the Nerf guns come out and before you know it your flat has been turned into real life Halo level. They are also there for moral support. My Greens steal my internet cable and all my DVD’s when they know I have a deadline to meet so procrastination is impossible.

The bottom line is no matter who you get, it will always be an experience you will never forget – even if you want to.

Victoria Tickle for GoGuide Magazine

Contributor

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Images: aenertia @ flickr / aeu04117 @ flickr / becstarr @ flickr / BenBarrel @ flickr / Bombardier @ flickr / Foxtongue @ flickr / Jon Shave @ flickr / laureskew @ flickr / Martin Lopatka @ flickr / sjon @ flickr / travelingswede @ flickr

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Hamilton and Mark want or are already sav you ing alo eth dro d An som lpe d e of he an tak Free - iOS interest, and are impulse buy you e you resist making an a tt tim ry rre Ba eve ch da mu Lin w ack s, ho hb t es to cas classmate app works ou out there when it com te of it and the OrSaveIt no a a as d … an tin y, the ne Sure there are sceptics on mo s spending your respectively. pretty much what it say you have saved by not schemes – but really it’s ke anyway, to getting what you ma are ally usu you r ’d are you ne s ch ase mu rch result how get money back on pu ff you would sible buddy along with t way and only buy stu nt. It’s like having a sen wa lly rea beer. tty as long as you use it tha pre Ferris Bueller’s Dayw d freebies can be have that last bottle of an to s t no ing sav you e g Th lin kid tel ay. yw you be buying an eded to Ferris is a street-wise you have historically ne All al. et nti sta tak to sub st d es be an cid t w swee Today he de s provide. No even with all the that the cashback site budgeting is hard and so nt , de off y Stu da are the re you es the for do is click on the links , tak y list Ferris stringent savers o neat apps come in: the Cam orts of even the most e. eff an h, Slo cas d for r an ts you en that is where these tw ron w ym me blo pa g Ca pting to ack available (includin his es when it’s just too tem is the vouchers and cashb persuaded to borrow , really!). Use both tim few too many. Any help no a – d ha ps ’ve sho in you ing en ws wh bro ally d pla eci an a in esp tch g ha lkin y e. wa t the tim jus given together ciated. y different deals at any definitely much appre apps as they have slightl

N D RO ID FI N D M Y IP H O N E / A D EV IC E M A N AG ER Free - iOS and Android

BI LE D RO PB OX MAnOdro id.

Free on iPhone and

y expensive phone can be massivel Replacing your mobile ta stored da l na rso pe ir any of the and no one likes losing to help re are a few apps out the on them to boot. There splace or mi y rar po n. Be them a tem apps when these things happ er sav life few a are vice there you a serious stolen/lost de ist ass l wil out. ‘Find my iPhone’ y out there to help you an m fro es vic or other Apple de id dro in locating your iPhone an the of e on is ’ re’s my droid? you other iOS device. ‘Whe s let n id Device Manager ’ eve equivalents and ‘Andro e. on ph r remotely data wipe you

Page 22

carrying can’t be bothered with For those like me who mory me mn d* loosing those around and continually the all of rid t Ge d. sen a god sticks/cards Dropbox is nsfers tra file g yin no an h wit aggravation associated best cloud and grab yourself the from device to device azing at am is e bil Mo Dropbox and sync app out there. place. e in one easily accessibl helping keep your files but e, fre e get 2GB of storag Dropbox users initially nd frie h eac h wit r account 500MB is added to you with enever you share files wh d an on ati nd recomme other people.

SEP 2013 - issue (32)

HORROR/SLASHER Carrie

discovers timid 17-year-old girl A young, abused and limit on the to d d gets pushe she has telekinesis, an ting prank. l’s prom by a humilia the night of her schoo

MOVIES

udents ever accepted ograms for geniuses. mmate, science club ect to develop a high-

Scream

off ostface begins killing A killer known as Gh ing, one ris s gin body count be teenagers, and as the lating mp nte co es elv d thems girl and her friends fin mselves the d fin y the as s film the “Rules” of horror e. on living in a real-life

The Faculty

students High School where the A horror tale set in a o are wh s, en ali ing be staff of suspect the teaching s. students their victim intent on making the

The Final

s

bullied outcasts and f or their peace and sel

Animal House

non Wormer is re Delta Tau Chi ns emakers have other pla

mont High

hool students growing based on the real-life Cameron Crowe. Stacy e r are looking for a lov er old ir the ong by and Mike Damone,

y Off

ks. who knows all the tric en Wh l. oo sch off y the da s, o must his best friend meron is reluctantly father’s Ferrari, and of class. an to get Sloane out

on the l outcasts get revenge A group of high schoo them. students that torment

Black Christmas rorized by a stranger who

A sorority house is ter rders the one calls and then mu makes frightening ph . ak g Christmas bre sorority sisters durin

DRAMA k The Social Networ Zuckerberg creates the

Harvard student Mark known e that would become social networking sit rs who the bro o tw er sued by as Facebook, but is lat er who nd fou co the d an ir idea, claimed he stole the t of the business. was later squeezed ou

The Breakfast Club types, nts, all different stereo

Five high school stude arts out ere they pour their he meet in detention, wh a lot more cover how they have to each other, and dis y thought. in common than the

a Wallflower of The Perks of Beinisgtak en under the wings n An introvert freshma rld. me him to the real wo lco we o two seniors wh

Good Will Hunting at MIT, has a gift for

r Will Hunting, a janito gist to s help from a psycholo ed ne t bu s tic ma mathe . find direction in his life

Dead Poets Society dents to ating inspires his stu Ke English teacher John seize the day. to d an y etr a love of po

SEP 2013 - issue (32)

PAGE 23

S E D I S A 5L

A I C E P S T N E D STU

LIFE(STYLE) FEATURE

GoGuide helps

e

bring you som

ides to useful top 5 gu

STUDENT BANK ACCOUNTS HSBC STUDENT BANK ACCOUNT

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Earn 2.00% AER/gross interest on in-credit balances up to £1,000 in first year Free music downloads if account opened before 31 October Entered into competition to win £10,000 bursary Student credit card available to eligible applicants Contactless debit card Smartphone app

HALIFAX STUDENT CURRENT ACCOUNT

£1,000 interest-free overdraft offered on account opening. Up to £3,000 interest-free overdraft available subject to applicant’s circumstances.

Earn 0.10% AER/gross interest on in-credit balances Student credit card available to eligible applicants Commission-free foreign currency and traveller ’s cheques Smartphone app Overdraft Account details

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Contactless debit card Smartphone app RAC Learner Driver

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In years one to three up to £1,500 interest-free overdraft and in years four to six up to £2,000, subject to applicant’s circumstances.

Student credit card available to eligible applicants NUS extra card for up to three years – giving you access to exclusive discounts, offers and competitions from over 160 brands and retailers on the high street £75 off a holiday booking with STA Travel Smartphone apps

SANTANDER STUDENT CURRENT ACCOUNT

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Valid for four years, allowing students to save up to one third on most rail fares Smartphone app

£200 interest-free overdraft offered on account opening.

Up to £2,000 interest-free overdraft available subject to

5 STUDENTS MUS 1. Eats, Shoots and Truss

Anxious about the apostrophe Stumped by the semicolon? Jo tour through the rules of punc dashes from the hyphens.

We all had the basic rules of pu at school, but punctuation ped suspect they never sank in. ‘Its that sets our teeth on edge. ‘P considerable interest (‘Is she?’ bedding plants.

It is not only the rules of punc attack but also a sense of why bestseller, Lynne Truss takes th greengrocers’ apostrophes wit

2. The Really Usefu Cookbook by Silvan

No one should leave home wi with recipes that are cheap, g cook with limited equipment. you need to know about buyi equipment is really necessary healthy, and useful tips about essential reading for any stud recipes suitable for complete into Top Tips for Eating Well, Essential Ingredients, Potatoe and Flour, Vegetables and Be

3. Wreck this Journ Destroy by Keri Sm

Think of Keri Smith’s Wreck T Artist’s Way - the book for th draw outside the lines but w

Image studyinuk.universiablogs.net

For anyone who’s ever wishe keeping, or finishing a journa This Journal, an illustrated bo collection of suggestions, ask best mistake - and mess-mak the book (and destroy them)

Page 24

nt-bank-accounts/

ORIGINAL SOURCE & MORE @ www.moneyfacts.co.uk/news/banking/top-5-stude

SEP 2013 - issue (32)

Through a series of creativel prompts, acclaimed artist Ke to engage in ‘destructive’ ac pages, adding photos and de coffee, colouring outside the experience the true creative unique sensibility, readers a art and journal making, disc the fear of the blank page a process.

4. Predictably Irrational

ST HAVE BOOKS Leaves by Lynne

e? Confused by the comma? oin Lynne Truss on a hilarious ctuation that is sure to sort the

by Dan Ariely

Why do our headaches per sist after we take a one-ce nt aspirin but disappear when we take a fifty-cent aspirin?

Why do we splurge on a lavish meal but cut coupon s to save twenty-five cents on a can of soup?

When it comes to makin g decisions in our lives, we think we’re making smart, rational cho ices. But are we?

In this newly revised and expanded edition of the ground-breaking New York Times bestseller , Dan Ariely refutes the common assumption that we beh ave in fundamentally rati onal ways. From drinking coffee to losing weight, from buying a car to choosing a romantic partner, we con sistently overpay, undere stimate, and procrastinate. Yet these misguided behaviours are neither random nor senseless. They’re sys tematic and predictable– making us predictably irrational.

unctuation drilled into us dants have good reason to s Summer!’ screams a sign Pansy’s ready’, we learn to our ’) as we browse among the

ctuation that have come under y they matter. In this runaway he fight to emoticons and th a war cry of ‘Sticklers unite!’

ul Ultimate Student na Franco

ithout this book! It is packed good for you and very easy to . Here you will find everything ing and storing food, which y, what to eat to keep you t food hygiene - this book is dent. Basic, budget-conscious e beginners. Chapters divided Food Safety, Equipment, es, Pasta, Rice and Grains, Bread eans, and Snacks and Standbys.

nal: To Create is to mith

This Journal as the anarchist’s hose who’ve always wanted to were afraid to do it.

ed to, but had trouble starting, al or sketchbook comes Wreck ook featuring a subversive king readers to muster up their king abilities to fill the pages of ).

ly and quirkily illustrated eri Smith encourages journalers cts - poking holes through efacing them, painting with e lines, and more - in order to e process. With Keri Smith’s are introduced to a new way of covering novel ways to escape and fully engage in the creative

5. Sneaky Uses for Everyday Things by Cy Tymony Do you know how to make something that can tell whether the £20 note in your wallet is a fake? Or how to generate battery power with simple household items? Or how to create your own home security system? Science-savvy author Cy Tymony does. And now you can learn how to create these things - and more than 40 other handy gadgets and gizmos - in Sneaky Uses For Everyday Things. More than a simple do-it-yourself guide, this quirky collection is a valuable resource for transforming ordinary objects into the extraordinary. With over 80 solutions and bonus applications at your disposal, you will be ready for almost any situation. Included are survival, security, self-defence, and silly applications that are just plain fun. You’ll be seen as a superhero as you amaze your friends by: Transforming a simple FM radio into a device that enables you to eavesdrop on tower-to-air conversations; Creating your own personalized electronic greeting cards; Making a compact fire extinguisher from items typically found in a kitchen pantry; Thwarting intruders with a single rubber band. By using run-of-the-mill household items and the easy-tofollow instructions and diagrams within, you’ll be able to complete most projects in just a few minutes. Whether you use Sneaky Uses For Everyday Things as a practical tool to build useful devices, a fun little fantasy escape, or as a trivia guide to impress friends and family, this book is sure to be a reference favourite for years to come.

SEP 2013 - issue (32)

PAGE 25

LIFE(STYLE)

FEEDME FEEDMENOW!!!

FEATURE

STUDENT SPECIAL

STARTER

Image by bbcgoodfood.com

BACON POT NOODLE

Page 26

SEP 2013 - issue (32)

Pop Noodle? Pot Noodle? We don’t need no stinking Pot Noodle….

Checkout our alternative to ready-made instant noodles, prepared and ready in under 10 mins?

Prep time: 2 mins Cook time: 5 mins

Ingredients 1-2 rashers of smoked back bacon, trimmed and chopped as required 2 spring onions finely sliced 50g frozen peas Quarter tsp paprika 2 tsp cornflour 200ml vegetable stock 150g straight-to-wok wheat noodles Worcestershire sauce.

Image By www.hearstranch.com

Preparation and cooking times

Now lets get down to the nitty gritty...

In a small non-stick pan, fry the bacon for a few mins, add the white parts of the spring onions, peas and paprika, then cook for 1 min more.

Simmer for a couple of mins until thick and saucy, then scatter with the green parts of spring onion.

Image by food.com

Inspired by ‘Smoky bacon pot noodle for one’ recipe on the BBC Food website @ www. bbcgoodfood.com

Image By thekitchn.com

Mix the cornflour with a little of the stock to get a paste, then stir this into the pan with the rest of the stock, noodles and a good splash of Worcestershire sauce.

SEP 2013 - issue (32)

PAGE 27

LIFE(STYLE) FEATURE

MAIN

CHILLI BAKED POTATOES WITH TURKEY MINCE

Image myfitnesspal.com

Turkey mince is cheap and lean - flavoured Mexican-style with cumin and paprika and serve in crispy baked potatoes

Prep time: 10 mins Cook time: 45 mins Serves 4

Image foodrepublic.com

Preparation and cooking times

Ingredients

Image channel4.com

4 large baking potatoes Olive oil 1 onion, chopped 1 garlic clove, crushed 300g turkey mince 1 tbsp smoked paprika 1 tbsp ground cumin 1 tbsp cider vinegar 1 tbsp soft light brown sugar 350ml passata reduced-fat Red Leicester, grated, to serve 4 spring onions, chopped, to serve

Now lets get down to the nitty gritty...

First things first, stick the oven on to 200C/180C fan/gas 6.

Pour some olive into a plate and season as desired with salt, pepper and any additional spices you fancy adding. Using a fork burst the skin of the potatoes all over and rub in the oil mixture.

Bake in the oven for 45 or until completely cooked.

While in the oven heat the remaining oil in a big frying pan on medium heat. Throw in the chopped onion and garlic and cook for 5 mins until soft. Next add the turkey mince and season again if you feel the need. Fire up the heat to high and start to break up the mince with your spoon. When it’s cooked through, add the paprika, ground cumin, vinegar, sugar and passata and reduce to just a light simmer. Cook for 10 mins until the liquid has reduced to a desired consistency.

Page 28

SEP 2013 - issue (32)

B IS FOR BROWNIES

Image by jeffreyw @ flickr

DESERT

Preparation and cooking times Prep time: 10 mins Cook time: 45 mins

Ingredients

Image by hey tiffany! @ flickr

1 cup of chocolate chips ž cup of butter 1 cup of sugar Pinch of salt 3 eggs 1 cup of all-purpose flour 6 tsp vanilla extract

Now lets get down to the nitty gritty...

As usual kick off by setting your oven to 350f. Place the butter and half of your chocolate chips in a small boiling pot and heat on a medium heat. Keep stirring the chocolate and butter until fully melted and combined. Let the melted mixture cool for about 60 secs then add the sugar and salt.

Beat your eggs in a bowl before gradually adding them to the chocolate mixture until they are totally combined. Transfer the whole mixture from the small pot into a bigger metal bowl and sift your flour into it. Use an electric beater on low speed for best results or just mix by hand with a spoon.

Add the vanilla and the remainder of your chocolate chips (if you haven’t eaten them by now) to the mixture and give it a good final stir again.

After about 25 mins take your brownie pan out and check to see if things are done by sticking a toothpick into the cooked brownie and quickly pulling out again. If there is any batter left on the toothpick, place them back into the oven for another 5-10 minutes or until no better remains on the pick.

Serve with any toppings you can think of or simply on their own. fruits.

SEP 2013 - issue (32)

Image by Annie Mole @ flickr

Scrape the chocolate mixture onto a greased and parchment paper lined pan and spread out evenly across the pan. Place in the oven for 20-25 minutes.

PAGE 29

LIFE(STYLE) TECH - PHONE APPS

W

hen EA released the original Worms on Android it wasn’t received very well and in the end it was dropped from the Play Store. Now Team 17 has released a brand new Worms game for mobile platforms, Worms 2 Armageddon. Now most of you might already know that the game was initially released years ago on Xbox Live Arcade, PlayStation Network, and even a couple of years back it hit the iPhone market.

Now, at last the game has finally decided to make an appearance on Android so we decided to have a wee peek at how things are going. Well you will be pleased to hear that this is a pretty good Worms game for Android.

The history of Worms goes right back to 1995 when it was released on a whole bunch of gaming consoles like the Sony Megadrive, Game Boy and of course on PC. The game quickly developed a popular fan following as a light hearted artillery type strategy game. Eventually, after many follow-ups and ‘tribute’ games its popularity fell away. With a new fresh platform to play with and an opportunity to introduce the title to a newer audience does the Android version of Worms 2 Armageddon stand up to the test of time and can it keep its reputation intact?

From the off the game keeps the same

look and feel of previous releases with its cartoony graphics, animation and sounds and the landscapes and structures all look great and fit the game well. Overall it’s a pretty sweet and simple graphical styling that I’m sure will not have too many people grumbling.

For those who somehow have never played a Worms game in the past the objective of the game is not too difficult to get to grips with Kill or be Killed… Wipe out your enemy before they do it to you... take no prisoners.

Kill your foes by blowing away all their health or by forcing them into the water, either way as long as they are dead they can’t hurt you.

It is a turn-based game, and each player takes turns to move one of their Worms and then choose an action for their Worm to carry out using a collection of weapons available to you.

There is a strategic element to the game mainly based around causing as much damage to your opposition in your turn as you can. This sometimes involves placing your worms where you think they can do the most damage. At the same time you always need to be wary of not leaving your own Worms exposed to too much damage themselves. There is also the dilemma of deciding which weapon best suits your needs at a given time and situation, something I don’t think I’ve quite mastered to this day.

Despite my inability to choose the right weapon at the right time this is probably my favourite bit of the game. Your Worms somehow have access to a massive arsenal of weapons to help you inflict as much destruction as you can. The actual physics of using the various weapons takes a little getting used to and each behaves in a slightly different manner so basic trial and error is probably the order of the day for your first few rounds of playing.

There are single player and multiplayer modes available and single player modes include Quick Match, Campaign, or Practice, where you get the chance to try out all the different weapons available until you are a crack marksman…. Well that’s the theory anyway.

Multiplayer is probably where it’s going to be at for most people and it will probably bring you the most fun part of the game, especially with 2 players of similar ability.

So Worms is back and those familiar with the series will no doubt have no qualms in picking up this game. It’s pretty close to a classic Worms experience. Newbies can get on board and find out just what all the fuss was about.

Defo a game not to be missed.

Worms 2 Armageddon £2.99 / £0.69 Mr Suit for GoGuide Magazine Contributor

GGG Page 30

SEP 2013 - issue (32)

T

he latest version of ‘TuneIn Radio’ takes radio apps to the next generation with the addition of the ability to pause and rewind your live radio streams. It’s a cool addition but the app was great anyway so how does this free music app stack up against the competition?

Like some other radio type apps out there, iheartradio for one, TuneIn Radio ties in with your current location and brings you all the local radio stations available. As well as just local stations TuneIn Radio has a list of over 40,000 radio stations from all over the place.

Look through them all is easy using genre or location.

The interface is pretty neat and easy to use, current song playing is shown below each stations listing, so you even know what is playing on the station before you even choose to open it up. When opened song names and artists info are also placed on the screen with album cover art available on the detail page. Favourite stations can be added to a preset list for easy access to stations you visit regularly. A handy feature is the link to iTunes so you can buy any particular song you might fancy.

On to the newest, and some might say, biggest benefit of the latest TuneIn Radio app and that is the facility to pause and rewind the live radio streams your listening to. To my knowledge this is the only radio app that offers this function and for me it is a pretty massive plus point for the app. You can simply pause the station to take a phone call or rewind to replay a song you like or the bit of a program that you might have missed.

The paid version of TuneIn Radio not only removes the pretty unobtrusive ads but also offers the ability to record live radio shows.

TuneIn Radio is an amazing app and offers a lot for nothing and even more for not a lot of cash. I use it daily and I’m sure you will to.

TuneIn Radio £FREE Mr Suit for GoGuide Magazine Contributor

GGGG SEP 2013 - issue (32)

PAGE 31

LIFE(STYLE)

PHONE APPS CHART

CHECKOUT THIS M FREE AND PAID APPS ON BO

S

P TOP 10 FREE AP

Page 32

TOP 10 PAY APPS

1

MessageMe MessageMe, Inc.

1

Stickman Downhill - £0.69 Robert Szeleney

2

er? 2 Where’s My Wat Disney

2

LEDit — The LED banner app - £0.69 Wes Roche

3

Pivvot la Whitaker Trebel

3

STREET FIGHTER II COLLECTION £0.69 CAPCOM

4

roll d.

Gourmet Pixel Lt

4

Minecraft – Pocket Edition - £4.99 Mojang

5

nger WhatsApp Messe WhatsApp Inc.

5

8 Ball Pool™ - £0.69 Miniclip.com

6

Snapchat Snapchat, Inc.

6

7 Minute Workout Challenge - £1.49 Fitness Guide Inc

7

Pet Rescue Saga d King.com Limite

7

Grand Theft Auto: Vice City - £2.99 Rockstar Games

8

: Grand Theft Auto Rockstar

8

Facetune - £1.99 Lightricks Ltd.

9

The X Factor UK Ltd FremantleMedia

9

Fitness Buddy - £1.49 Azumio Inc.

10

Instagram Instagram

10

App Icons - £2.49 Tap Nation

iFruit

SEP 2013 - issue (32)

PHONE APP CENTRAL

MONTHS TOP 10 OTH ANDROID AND IPHO N

E

EE TOP 10 FR

APPS

Facebook

1

Facebook

1

r Messenge WhatsApp c. hatsApp In

2

W

2

eo calls

e IM & vid

Skype - fre Skype

3

y Android Official eBa

3 App

4

e

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4

sh Saga

Candy Cru

5

King.com

5

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Snapchat,

6 7 8

Inc.

6

r BBC iPlaye pplications Tech C Media A

7

BB

Player BBC Media pplications Tech Media A

9 10

BBC

Instagram Instagram

Twitter

Twitter, Inc

8 9 10

SEP 2013 - issue (32)

TOP 10 PAY APPS SwiftKey 3 Keyboa

rd - £2.99

TouchType Ltd

WeatherPro - £2.5 6

LevelUp Studio

Sparkasse+ - £0.7

6

Star Finanz GmbH

Runtastic PRO - £4

.23

Runtastic

Flightradar24 Pro

- £1.99

Camera ZOOM FX

- £2.13

Flightradar24 AB androidslide

Blitzer.de PLUS - £4

Eifrig Media GmbH

.27

Beautiful Widgets

Pro - £2.03

Business Calendar

- £4.06

LevelUp Studio

Appgenix Softwar

e

OfficeSuite Pro 7

Mobile Systems

(PDF & HD) - £9.6

0

PAGE 33

FITNESS

HEALTH&FITNESS

T.O.D. COACHING & Fit inc Studio Gym

RUNNERS SPECIAL

Page 34

SEP 2013 - issue (32)

SEP 2013 - issue (32)

PAGE 35

FITNESS

TCO.AOCH.DING. FEATURE

&

M Y G O I D U T FIT INC. S SECTION GOGUIDE MAGAZINE LY TH ON M ’S M GY IO .D. FIT INC. STUD G AND KEEPING FIT. T.O IN TT GE T T.O.D. COACHING AND OU AB OW P NG YOU NEED TO KN IONING AND BOOTCAM IT ND BRINGS YOU EVERYTHI CO , NG NI AI TR , REGIMES. BEST IN EXERCISE BRING YOU THE VERY LIST EVENT TRAINING IA EC SP D AN TS BI HA D EATING WORKOUTS, DIETS AN

oning .1 Fitness and conditi NO e th th wi up ed azine team ction here’s a recap t year GoGuide Mag m for our ‘Fitness’ se Gy io ud St c.

Just about this time las In Fit d T.O.D Coaching an centre in West Lothian ures with the guys... of one of our first feat

R E N N U R E C N A T S I D G N O L E H T

Are you...

M

y name is Ryan Stewart, I am a Personal Trainer for T.O.D Coaching and have been for two years. I specialise in sports performance and suspension system training. From a young age, I played football at the highest level, but after gaining an injury, I decided to go into the fitness industry and share my knowledge and skills to help others achieve their goals. In working with T.O.D Coaching, my knowledge and skills have greatly improved and are improving on a daily basis. My skills are tested, everyday, with T.O.D’s high standards, which keep me driven

Page 36

and motivated. I encourage the quote “Think Big, Dream Bigger, Work Harder!”

and other athletes from all sports, and all abilities to train and gain knowledge and are able to compete in novice to regular competions.

T.O.D (try or die) Coaching is Scotland’s premier leading personal training and fitness provider. T.O.D Coaching was formed in 2004 as a personal training company and quickly became an industry leader with regards to personal and alternative training, who only employs the highest quality personal trainers which come as standard. Every personal trainer is highly qualified and motivated.

T.O.D have grown over the years and now incorporate many aspects of training from gym based to adventure training, strength, triathlon and more.

As well as a race team, we have a combat team which offers the best training in the fitness industry as Scotland’s first MMA condition coaches. We do the leading combat strength and conditioning and also adopt S.A.I.D circuit principles. T.O.D pride themselves on a “ if you fail we fail” quote.

We have a triathlon team which offer a low cost way for triathletes, adventure racers, mountain bikers, runners, swimmers

SEP 2013 - issue (32)

If you are looking for a professional input to your training but you want maximum flexibility and low cost, then T.O.D is for you!

T.O.D coaching operates within west Lothian, Glasgow, Edinburgh, Fife and Aberdeen. The main facility is Fit Inc Studio Gym based in Livingston.

T

his article is for all you keen runners and fitness enthusiasts, as there is more and more events that include running that is cropping up everywhere, such as the Spartan race and Tough Mudder. I will tell you how you can improve your running time and performance by following our programme.

In my experience the first thing people think of when starting to train for either a 5k or 10k run is to simply put shorts and running shoes on and start running, thinking it will be easy and they wont stop for a break or cause they are out of breath, let me tell you it is not this simple and I have usually found that the average person can’t perform a mile without stopping when they adopt this approach.

When it comes to running the most common training methods are as follows: LOW INTENSITY, LONG DISTANCE – this training type involves intensity of around 40 – 60 Max Heart Rate. In a

nutshell it is something slow, easy, continuous and long. This can take the form of walking, jogging or cycling. With this approach you will be able to have a conversation easily as you won’t be out of breath. This type of training is good for people just getting started with cardio work. It is the least demanding form of cardio training MEDIUM INTENSITY, MEDIUM DURATION – This involves cardio work done at around 70 of MHR, it is harder therefore can’t be done for as long as low intensity. This is also the next step up. This type of training can be used for fat loss and for increasing aerobic capacity. With this training type you will be breathing heavy but not enough to stop.

HIGH INTENSITY, SHORT DURATION - this type of cardio work is done at around 80- 85% MHR. 85% is considered to be the anaerobic threshold, through this can vary depending on fitness levels. This is a very demanding type of training and usually only lasts 5 to 20 minutes.

vary intervals and intensity e.g 5 minutes easy, 2 minutes moderate, 1 minute hard.

The key to this training type is variation however you must not stop.

ANAEROBIC INTERVAL TRAINING – this training type involves going hard for short periods then resting. It is done from 85 – 100% MHR. How this work is sprint as hard as you can for 30 seconds then walk 30 seconds and keep repeating this pattern. You fitness level will determine how long you can perform this type for.

FARTLEK TRAINING – the word fartlek means speed play. So in a nutshell, you mix up all of the above training methods. For example you might run for 8 minutes, sprint for 30 seconds, walk for 2 minutes and so on. This is a good way to increase intensity each training session and it is also a good way to prevent boredom.

AEROBIC INTERVAL TRAINING - the first way of doing interval training involves periods of moderate to high intensity, alternating with a rest period in between of low intensity.

For example – 2 minutes of a fast run then 1 minute of a slow walk then repeat. You can

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FITNESS FEATURE

At T.O.D we encourage all of the methods mentioned plus more.

Firstly here is a little piece of what we can offer for a 5k or a 10k race. The following workouts completed three or four times per week will enhance a runner’s 5km and 10km personal best running time.

• Speed session.

• Endurance session

• Tempo session.

Run 1km, the pace has to be faster than the runner’s normal race pace, rest for three minutes. Complete this or five sets in total.

Run 1 km at your fastest pace for 15 minutes, then rest for one minute then repeat the set two more times to complete one session. Build this up so the runner can complete three sessions.

Run 1 km at race pace, then rest for two minutes, run the next 1km at an increased pace just above race pace, then rest for two minutes. Run the next 1km at reduced pace just slower than race pace, then rest two minutes. Repeat this session one more time.

Reasoning: By running at a faster pace this enables the runner to maintain high speeds. The body will adapt to this increase in oxygen demand, therefore improving the ability to increase running pace and maintain it. The runner will have to build this type of session as trying to run at a higher intensity straight away will regress the runner rather than progress them.

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Reasoning: this type of session will build the runner’s speed endurance and ensure that conditioning maintains quickness and the runner is able to maintain a fast pace throughout rest periods, thereby allowing the runner to build their endurance.

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Reasoning: By executing this type of session, this will ensure that the runner sticks to the required pace. Upping and slowing down the pace also ensures the runner’s body knows what race pace feels like.

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utrition has a major part to play when competing or taking part in a training programme, it is said that diet is 70% and the exercise is 30% or performance output. As well as fitness advice we also offer nutrition advice as part of our services.

Our diet plan is a genetic meal plan for a runner, as runner’s need lots of stored energy so they can continue in a race without slowing or feeling fatigued here is a sample meal plan that a runner should be having.

The following plan provides sufficient levels of all nutrients, however bear in mind that the plan is a general guide and there is no measure of portion size so you can adapt to suit your needs.

Men will also generally eat more than women.

You must eat a variation of different meats, fish, complex carbohydrates, fruit and vegetables everyday.

Don’t neglect water intake as it is really important to stay hydrated throughout the day.

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FITNESS FEATURE

THE RUNNERS DIET

T.O.D. BREAKFAST MID MORNING LUNCH MID AFTERNOON 30 MINUTES

PRE TRAINING

DURING

RUN/TRAINING

3 OATCAKES WITH COTTAGE CHEESE. PIECE OF FRUIT GREEN TEA CHICKEN SANDWICH ON WHOLEMEAL BREAD MIXED NUTS, SEEDS & DRIED FRUIT MIXED SALAD LOW FAT, LOW SUGAR YOGHURT WATER 2 SQUARES FLAPJACKS MIXED NUTS LARGE BANANA GREEN TEA CHICKEN SANDWICH ON WHOLEMEAL BREAD MIXED NUTS, SEEDS & DRIED FRUIT MIXED SALAD LOW FAT, LOW SUGAR YOGHURT WATER WATER OR ISOTONIC DRINK WHEN POSSIBLE

EVENING MEAL

LEAN FILLET STEAK OR CHICKEN BREAST OR FISH WITH HERBS BOILED NEW POTATOES LOADS OF VEGETABLES LOW FAT YOGHURT DRINK

MID EVENING

MUESLI WITH SKIMMED MILK PIECE OF FRUIT ORANGE JUICE

BEFORE BED

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PORRIDGE WITH MILK AND SUGAR 2 SLICES OF WHOLEMEAL BREAD TOASTED WITH NATURAL PEANUT BUTTER. FRESH FRUIT JUICE TEA/COFFEE

2 SATSUMAS MIXED NUTS & SEEDS DRINK

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PAY T.O.D A VISIT AND SEE WHAT WE CAN DO FOR YOU!

Fit Inc Studio Gym 1 Simpson Parkway Kirkton Campus Livingston EH54 7BH Tel: 01506 413040 www.tod-coaching.co.uk

Team T.O.D/Fit Inc. and one WBO/WBA Champion Mr Nigel Benn

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MOVIES

Contents

NEW RELEASES

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About Time - 4th September - 12A Riddick: Dead Man Stalking 4th September – TBC Any Day Now - 6th September - 15 No One Lives - 6th September - 18 The Great Hip Hop Hoax 6th September - 18 Insidious 2 - 13th September - 15 Justin and the Knights of Valour 13th September - PG Rush - 13th September - 15 The Cosmonaut 13th September – TBC White House Down 13th September - 12A Diana - 20th September - TBC Otway: The Movie 20th September - 12A R.I.P.D. - 20th September - 12A The Call - 20th September - 15 The Last Fall 22nd September - 12A Best Little Whorehouse in Rochdale - 23rd September - TBC Prisoners - 27th September - TBC Runner, Runner 27th September - 15 Page 44

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Please check online or with cinema directly for latest information.

MOVIE QUIZ MOVIE POSTER - TITLE & ACTORS REMOVED NAME THE MOVIES PLEASE?

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MOVIES BOX OFFICE TOP 10

THIS MONTHS UK About Time (Universal)

At the age of 21, Tim discovers he can travel in time and change what happens and has happened in his own life.

His decision to make his world a better place by getting a girlfriend turns out not to be as easy as you might think.

Riddick (eOne)

Left for dead on a sun-scorched planet, Riddick finds himself up against an alien race of predators. Activating an emergency beacon alerts two ships: one carrying a new breed of mercenary, the other captained by a man from Riddick’s past.

One Direction: This is Us (Sony Pictures)

A look at Niall, Zayn, Liam, Louis, and Harry’s meteoric rise to fame, from their humble hometown beginnings and competing on the X-Factor, to conquering the world and performing at London’s famed O2 Arena.

We’re the Millers (Warner Bros)

After being robbed of a week’s take, small-time pot dealer David is forced by his boss to go to Mexico to pick up a load of marijuana. In order to improve his odds of making it past the border, David asks the broke stripper Rose and two local teenagers to join him and pretend they’re on a family holiday.

Elysium (Sony Pictures)

Set in the year 2154, where the very wealthy live on a man-made space station while the rest of the population resides on a ruined Earth, a man takes on a mission that could bring equality to the polarized worlds.

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K BOX OFFICE TOP 10 Planes (Disney)

Dusty Crophopper is a little cropduster plane with a fear of heights and a crazy dream of being a racer. While his friends need convincing, Dusty gets the training he needs from Skipper, a veteran fighter, and qualifies for the Wings Across the World race.

Pain & Gain (Paramount)

From acclaimed director Michael Bay comes “Pain and Gain,” a new action comedy starring Mark Wahlberg, Dwayne Johnson and Anthony Mackie. Based on the unbelievable true story of a group of personal trainers in 1990s Miami who, in pursuit of the American Dream, get caught up in a criminal enterprise that goes horribly wrong.

Despicable Me 2 (Universal)

While Gru is adjusting to family life and an attempted honest living in the jam business, a secret Arctic laboratory is stolen. The Anti-Villain League decides it needs an insider’s help and recruits Gru in the investigation. Together with the AVL agent, Lucy Wilde, Gru concludes that his suspect is the presumed dead supervillain, El Macho.

Grown Ups 2 (Sony Pictures)

After moving his family back to his hometown to be with his friends and their kids, Lenny finds out that between old bullies, new bullies, schizo bus drivers, drunk cops on skis, and 400 costumed party crashers sometimes crazy follows you.

Monsters University (Disney)

Mike Wazowski and James P. Sullivan are an inseparable pair, but that wasn’t always the case. From the moment these two mismatched monsters met they couldn’t stand each other. “Monsters University” unlocks the door to how Mike and Sulley overcame their differences and became the best of friends.

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T

he Call is a pretty good is a white-knuckle thrill ride that somehow manages to bring more gore than most half assed horror movies do. Halle Berry plays Jordan Turner, the type of compassionate and caring emergency services operator that we all wanna hear when we call in with something wrong.

She is an experienced call handler who is well suited to handle the tough calls when they come in.

Then, one fateful day a call comes in that changes everything. A teen girl calls in to report an intruder who seems intent on more than just robbery. Jordan breaks the fundamental rule of 911 operators and gets too personally involved in the things happening on the other end of the phone and when the call eventually gets disconnected she calls the girl back. Back at the house the phone ringing gives away the girl’s position to the intruder which results in her being killed.

Unable to cope, Jordan decides to move off taking calls and becomes a trainer for the new recruits.

While training a bunch of newbies one day another teen girl called Casey (Abigail Breslin -Little Miss Sunshine) phones in, the freaked out girl tells the operator that she has been kidnapped and is trapped in the trunk of some guy’s car. Memories flood back and Jordan soon finds herself back on the firing line, this time though she has another chance to save this girl and just as importantly, to redeem herself.

Director Brad Anderson’s, better known for his TV work than anything on the big screen, is a little erratic at the start but once the action really kicks in things begin to get a lot more interesting and flows better.

With their time mostly spent on the phone Berry and Breslin manage to create a real connection and have an energy that really helps grab the viewer attention and drag us along with them on their harrowing journey.

The cool Jordan talks her charge through setting up some ingenious wee tricks in order to help Casey survive the ordeal, which go by mostly unseen by our killer.

I won’t go into the nitty gritty but they do manage to attract the attention they want from other drivers on the road and their craftiness is said to have had cinema crowds cheering in support.

The Call will have you rooting out loud for Jordan and Casey and the kind of light-hearted finale will have most people celebrating. It is alarming, super entertaining, slightly gory and a little strange at the same time and if you take it for what it is I’m sure you’ll enjoy it just as much as I did, the movie’s ability to genuinely surprise and terrify is well worth a wee bit of praise.

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S

ometimes movie companies seem to ignore what went before and hope that maybe people or things have changed over the years, or maybe they think they can do a better job these days? I don’t know, but after the almost across the boards failure of 2004’s The Chronicles of Riddick I was wondering… why bother?

The 2013 Riddick is certainly not an excellent movie, but it certainly isn’t a bad movie either and is overall a pretty passable summer action flick, and let’s face it those have been in pretty short supply over the summer months.

Throughout his career Vin Diesel has had a kinda bumpy road with only his Fast and Furious franchise really cementing his status as an action hero type dude. Diesel is actually reportedly using his wages from the last 2 of these movies to finance his own movie ‘Hannibal the Conqueror’ which charts the life of the legendary Carthaginian general.

Riddick is a ruthless, shrewd, tough, lethal and determined warrior, the real kind, the ones with a code of honour that he follows while his adversaries do not. Sure they may be civilized but their version of civilized has become twisted and corrupt over the years.

Our story sees Riddick, who while trying to discover the location of his lost home world of Furya, brokers a deal where his payment is a promise of the whereabouts of the planet. Needless to say Riddick is eventually betrayed and left for dead on the planet, but as with all good heroes, he somehow manages to survive both his injuries and the threat from the planets alien inhabitants.

While on the planet he discovers a base being used by a gang of mercenaries, led by a ruthless killer Santana played

by Jordi Mollà (Bad Boys II), who have been searching for him. Riddick invites them to do battle and a game of hide and seek ensues between Riddick and the mercenaries, well it’s more a hide, seek and kill to be honest as they are no real match for our hero Riddick. Cue some smarter, better-equipped baddies who are looking for Riddick for other reasons, Boss Johns played by Matt Nable (Killer Elite) leads the new bunch of enemies with sharpshooter Dahl, Katee Sackhoff (Battlestar Galactica) in toe. As the movie progresses they all end up trapped together in the base where they have to come together as one to survive against some big bad beasties.

Being a science fiction film there are a fair bundle of wacky gadgets on show but kudos to the Riddick team as a lot of the action scenes involve good old fashioned big swords, sharp knives, well looked after teeth and a few deadly claws as their weapons. Riddick himself seems to shuns any sort of modern weapon and goes for the more primeval choice most of the time and even does a wee bit of bare knuckle boxing with some of the local wildlife affirming his role as the noble savage.

Overall there is plenty of action and decent acting on show to make this a reasonably enjoyable summer/autumn action film.

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W

olverine himself is an amazing character – he’s honourable, has a great sense of justice and has perfect hair. Yet he doesn’t prance around the screen playing the idyllic hero that we’ve all come to grow a little bored of. Instead he’s dark, conflicted, and a bit of a loner. Despite having all of this, his stand-alone movies don’t quite seem to work, and The Wolverine is no exception.

Wolverine isn’t the only Marvel character who is part of a larger group of heroes to have his own film. Both Iron Man and Thor

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of Marvel’s Avengers have had their own successful stand-alone films – and theirs worked. This is probably because there is more to them than just being superheroes.

Thor is an Asgardian god with some serious family issues and Tony Stark is a famously self-proclaimed “genius, billionaire, playboy philanthropist”. Logan, according to The Wolverine, is little more than a man who drinks heavily alone in the woods and has an unspoken friendship with a bear until he is whisked off to Japan by a woman.

The narrative of The Wolverine shows Logan travelling to Japan at the request of Yahsida – a man he saved from the atomic bombing of Nagasaki in World War 2. Yashida, who is dying, requests that Logan surrenders his powers to him so that Logan can live a finite life, and Yashida can have an infinite one. Logan refuses this request and Yashida then goes on to die. At his funeral the Yakuza attempt to abduct his granddaughter, SEP 2013 - issue (32)

Mariko, but Logan saves her. She attempts to flee on a bullet train, but Logan pursues.

During this time he starts to realise that he is not healing the way he used to. This is because (unbeknownst to Logan) Yashida’s doctor was Viper – a mutant who is no less than brilliant with biochemistry who has disabled his mutation. Mariko eventually gets kidnapped and Logan teams up with Yukio, Mariko’s long-term friend and the woman who Yashida sent to convince Logan to go to Japan in the first place. Yukio is also a mutant who can foresee people’s deaths. Together they fight a whole clan of ninjas and a giant adamantium samurai powered by – you guessed it – a newly restored and healed Yashida. Logan wins the battle and returns home with Yukio, who is now apparently his bodyguard, thus ending the movie – unless you stick around for about five minutes into the credits to see a nod to the upcoming X-Men: Days of Future Past.

So there’s the plot in 241 words. Even in its most basic form it sounds quite exciting. Yet this excitement doesn’t really transfer to the screen as well as it could have easily done. The whole problem with The Wolverine is that there is no reason why it shouldn’t have been outstanding in every way. Hugh Jackman once again effortlessly plays Wolverine, the action and fight sequences are expertly choreographed, the locations and scenery are stunning and there are even a couple of genuinely funny lines and situations. So why didn’t it work? The answer could lie in Logan himself. This Logan, The Wolverine’s one, isn’t really the one we’ve come to know and love. This Logan isn’t as dark as he should be, nor is he as emotionally fragile, or if he is he’s not conveying it well, even when Jean Grey is the topic of discussion. Overall, this Logan seems a bit diluted.

Logan is such a complicated character with a dark and intriguing past, but this film only awards Logan fight scenes (as awesome as they are), dream sequences featuring Jean Grey and the occasional comedic oneliner.

But the fault in this film doesn’t just lie with Wolverine himself, part of it also lies with the villainess, Viper.

Viper is a poison excreting mutant who wears green and has a day job in biochemistry. She’s basically Poison Ivy from the Batman universe, but she’s a mutant to fit in with the X-Men universe. This in itself was so obvious that it was a huge let down for most people. However, even if you can forgive this seemingly cut-and-paste bad guy, her backstory will be enough to cement your disappointment. What backstory? – Exactly. The audience knows nothing of her motives or who she is, and any information we do get about her is too little too late. She is less of a bad guy and more of a convenient, attractive prop.

The characters aren’t all that fails the film; there are certain plot points that seem to drag out. It’s like the director needed something to intersect and sew together the action scenes. However, it’s these action scenes that almost redeem the film and make it watchable. The whole film is visually spectacular, whether it’s the establishing shots or the intricate and fun to watch fight sequences.

With all things being considered, I would say that The Wolverine is worth a watch. This is not a movie that is designed to make its audience think in any way, but if you’re happy to watch Hugh “Huge” Jackman using his massive muscles to kick bad guy ass, then I say go for it. After all, it is entertaining at its base level and it is a nice segue to Days of Future Past, where Wolverine will hopefully regain some of his edge that he lost in this film.

Words Victoria Tickle for GoGuide Magazine Contributor

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T

he film 'We're the Millers' is a new genre-busting dark comedy starring Jason Sudeikis and Jennifer Aniston about a pot dealer who attempts to smuggle massive amounts of grass and hash over the Mexican border.

Whilst trying to stop a couple of kids from being mugged by a grimy gang of street thugs, Dave (Jason Sudeikis) winds up having all his money and, even more tragically, all his marijuana stolen. As a result of this, his supplier, the wealthy benefactor Brad Gurdlinger (played by Ed Helms) gives Dave the task of smuggling a few tonnes of grass into the country in order to pay off the debt.

Now, seeing as how both Jason Sudeikis and the character he plays in the film both look like dubious sex tourists, he feels the best technique to avoid detection by the authorities would be to recruit a fake family and go undercover in a camper van.

Rose O'Reilly (Jennifer Aniston) the 'old' stripper becomes the crass mother of the piece along with their made-up daughter and son and together they go on long a journey where they learn about family, friendship and smuggling mass amounts of drugs.

On the way, they meet a collection of colourful characters including Mexican drug lords and a friendly American redneck with his frisky, whitebred wife.

Altogether, 'We're the Millers' is an entertaining, eclectic mix of bizarre scenarios, cheesy, awkward moments, ridiculously funny examples of scumbagitude and laughs at the darker side of life.

An in depth look at the problems with American life on both sides of the fence, and some ballsack jokes.

GGG Words by Christopher Jordan for GoGuide Magazine Contributor

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PAIN & GAIN

T

o be honest I’ve never really cared for those Transformers movies much, wasn’t into them as kids and just couldn’t get into them as movies either. So it’s good to see director Michael Bay getting back into his more ‘mature’ rated stuff with the extremely dark comedy that’s strangely one of the strangest, weirdest and funniest films of 2013 so far. If Pain & Gain is anything to go by then Bay has definitely returned to top form and the movie is chuck full of his trademarks for all the fans out there. The movie won’t be to everyone’s liking but for those who do appreciate a bit of fun that is mean and moody are going to totally get where its coming from.

Mark Wahlberg plays Daniel Lugo, a gym instructor who is completely obsessed with body-building and lifting weights. He’s a lovable character who strives to better himself, and to be successful. He believes that chances come to those that make chances happen and who grab them when they come along. He has no time for those who waste their lives and squander those chances.

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to do pretty much whatever it takes to reach his goals in life… even if it means breaking the law a tad on the way there.

One day Daniel has a brainwave and hatches a plan to steal from one of his wealthy clients Victor played by Tony Shalhoub. He isn’t a nice guy and in Daniels eyes deserves whats coming and the plan is to take everything that Victor owns and to leave him without a cent and with no knowledge of who done it.

To execute his plan Daniel recruits his mates Adrian (Anthony Mackie) and Paul (Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson) to help him out. The three amigos however soon show themselves to be the stupidest trio of individuals to ever grace the criminal underworld and their seemingly fool proof scheme soon begins to fall apart and backfires immediately.

Daniel and his buddies then must think on their feet, yeh right… and figure out some way of rescuing the situation and to covering their tracks to avoid getting caught by the police.

Amazingly Pain & Gain is based on a true story, and it just might be the daftest true stories to ever be turned into a movie. It brings an extra kind of off screen dimension when you have in the back of your mind that some of these things actually happened (surely with some massive artistic licencing?

As these guys couldn’t be this dumb?) Overall the stuff that the guys get up to in this movie are beyond the absurd and it’s bizarre to think that they actually happened in real life.

Bay could have done a lot worse than picking

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this project to follow the Transformers Trilogy.

Bay has brought with him his big bag of tricks usually associated with his action movies, this time his energetic camera style usually employed to maximize action scenes are stuck in to bring energy and pace to the darker heavy dialogue moments.

Mark Wahlberg plays the dumb criminal mastermind perfectly, Mackie’s Adrian is just as daft and is basically a wee sheep following Daniel, this opens the door for him to carry out some of the stupidest parts of the scheme just to follow orders.

Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson’s Paul I find to be the character most people are likely to be sympathetic to. He’s a big lumbering excon who cares too much about pleasing his friends and others and has recently found Jesus. He is desperately looking for a life changing moment to happen in his life.

I’m going to stick my neck out and say that Pain & Gain will almost certainly earn a wee bit of cult status among those that can appreciate its uninhabited sense of humour and for pushing some comedic boundaries a tad.

One of Bay’s most interesting movies care of some great directing, writing and solid performance by Johnson, Wahlberg and Mackie.

GGG Mr Suit for GoGuide Magazine Contributor

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O

k, first off lets address the obvious comparison that us Brits will throw in the faces of The Heat and that is the claim that it is just a female Hot Fuzz, well ummmm…. yeh… it is…. pretty much… but is that a bad thing?

And it’s really is only a surface comparison so is based on only one thing and that is that it is a comedy based on one successful cop being thrown into a new town, in a new station, where she is surrounded with cops way less successful than herself. That is where the comparisons end really so enjoy.

nice, these two are misfits by any ones standard, but trust me your gonna love them.

So what is it that we get with The Heat?

With her treating her boss like that it’s no wonder that she treats the unfortunate criminals in her district with even more contempt as we saw when we first meet her, on the job, confronting a local kerb-crawler, I won’t go into details but let’s say their isn’t a manual that tells her to do what she does and that’s pretty much how the whole movie is for officer Mullins. It really seems like the director has let the larger-than-life actress off the leash here and she is riotous throughout and has one of the best throw away one liners I’ve heard for a long while in a movie, again I won’t go into details but it revolves around the fact that her flat doesn’t have any curtains so listen out for it.

Well Melissa McCarthy (Bridesmaids/Identity Thief) and Sandra Bullock (Miss Congeniality/ Speed/The Blind Side) play a pair of misfit cops Shannon Mullins and Sarah Ashburn, who are thrown together when Bullock, a by the book FBI agent, is asked to get involved in an investigation to bring down a major drug ring and she is forced to work alongside McCarthy who is a wild Boston cop that doesn’t even own a rule book to follow.

Bullock has played a few cops in her time but while they could be tasked with giving the whole ‘buddy cop’ genre a much overdue ‘Cagney & Lacey’ makeover (google it guys) the thing is don't expect things to all nicey

With Paul Feig (Bridesmaids/Bad Teacher) at the helm things are in your face, brash, crass and on lots of occasions very, very funny, and he gets a couple of great performances from the movies two leading ladies, although at times amazingly funny it was a struggle for me to see McCarthy as a working cop? I know it’s wrong but I just can’t.

The pair play women who possess 2 completely different approaches to things but have strangely the same effect on the people around them, and mainly the guys, making most of them look like great big girls blouses.

I actually felt a wee bit sorry for McCarthy’s unfortunate boss when she chews him out in full view of everyone in the station… “This job is destroying me” he whimpers. This is a guy who is 43 but he’s so stressed and worn out that he tells us “I’ve got a 5-year-old son who calls me grandpa”

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Straight woman agent Ashburn, if you can really call her that after 20mins of the movie, starts off as a gigantic pain-in-the backside.

Your typical workaholic know-it-all that takes great pleasure in upstaging anyone she comes into contact with. You know it’s sarcastic when one of her lowly colleagues utters the words “Hard to believe she’s single” after yet another showing up.

The real fun kicks off when these two alpha cops have to enter each other’s ‘space’ in order to work together for the greater goal, and when we say space we do mean ‘breast’ space as one super funny scene plays out.

Madness ensues as the pair come to both physical and verbal blows as they attempts to bury their differences in order to nail the head honcho bad guy.

Sure, the story isn’t something new and we’ve definitekly seem most of it before but the devil is in the detail and on this occasion the detail is in the chemistry between the two leads and in the really funny lines that the script have smartly given the pair to deliver. Combined it makes for a brightness and energy that we haven’t really seen for a while.

For a summer dominated pretty much by super-heroes, robots and big bangs some of you might just be on the lookout for a movie where the show is all about the talent and the writing skills and not just on the multimillion pound technology…. If that’s you then look no further.

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irates of the Caribean director Gore Verbinski has pretty much created a proverbial train wreck with this modern version of the classic franchise from years ago. It is an almost tedious rendition which tries, but fails, to capture the essence of those old light hearted adventure films and ends up just a sad parody of things that came before.

The Lone Ranger is a long outing, running to almost 2 and a half hours, and is filled with noise, and seemingly endless amounts of nonsense resulting in it being one of the bigger flops in the summer blockbusters season.

The movie starts in 1933 with a young masked boy walking around an antiquated Wild West’esque fair. He eventually comes across an old man, Tonto (Johnny Depp),

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who starts to tell him the story of 'The Lone Ranger'.

After a while you realise that watching this movie may very well be more of a chore than your typical no brainer adventure story and maybe it’s a hint as to why the original old school cinema serial episodes were played out in twenty minute chunk. I suppose it’s akin to why people don’t make 3 minute ads for the same product? 30 seconds maybe but after a while the viewers’ attention starts to wander and they want something different.

The Lone Ranger (Arnie Hammer) is a one man army, or police force, whichever you prefer, fighting for justice and against crime in the old Wild West with his trusty companion Tonto by his side. Crime in the Old Wild west it seems comes in only one form… pantomime villains. One a greedy railroad tycoon Latham Cole (Tom Wilkinson) and the other a crazy gunslinger called Butch Cavendish (William Fichter).

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wrong from the story theme in this movie, even down to searching for some lost treasure.

I’ve never been a Depp fan and he truly seems to be becoming nothing more than a weird caricature of himself. There is nothing new in his chosen portrayal of Tonto and he is only saved in this movie by Hammers wishy-washy capturing of the hero a spectacular miscasting if ever I saw one. He fails miserably to capture any of the original Lone Rangers heroism or even his comic side.

Having brought us the cool Rango last year I had hopes that this would be yet another fresh take on a classic western piece of history but director Verbinski seems to have fallen flat on his face with this one. Only for the true Depp fans I’m guessing.

GGGG Mr Suit for GoGuide Magazine Contributor

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TV&DVD DVD TOP 10

1 2 3 4 5

STAR TREK - INTO DARKNESS (PARAMOUNT HOME ENT) OLYMPUS HAS FALLEN (LIONSGATE) THE BIG BANG THEORY - COMPLETE SEASON 6 (WARNER HOME VIDEO) THE LITTLE MERMAID (WALT DISNEY) DESPICABLE ME (UNIVERSAL PICTURES)

THIS MONTHS DVD TOP 10 6 7 8 9 10

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OBLIVION (UNIVERSAL PICTURES) THOMAS & FRIENDS - KING OF THE RAILWAY (HIT ENTERTAINMENT) LOVE IS ALL YOU NEED (ARROW FILMS) DJANGO UNCHAINED (SONY PICTURES HE) MUD (ENTERTAINMENT ONE)

TH...

OUT NOW AND THIS MON

new dvds CAL AT YOUR LO

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VIDEO SHOP

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TV&DVD TV FEATURE

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W

ith the news still ringing fresh in our ears about Sons of Anarchy’s very own Charlie Hunnam taking the dude role in the up and coming Fifty Shades of Grey franchise it’s probably time to talk a wee bit about the soon to air (in the states anyway) Sons of Anarchy Season 6. Airing on FX it seems Sons 6 will continue riding down its usual bleak road littered with ominous as trouble no doubt finds its way to the doorstep of our friendly Charming biker gang.

Series creator Kurt Sutter looks to be steering his ship directly down the highway of moral decay, where those seemingly on the right side of the law on further looking are found to be just as corrupt as those they seek to class ‘outlaws’. These are the dangerous seasons for SOA with most not lasting any real time beyond their 6-9 seasons and with a major character Hunnam now dipping his toes more and more into mainstream blockbuster movies with Pacific Rim in the summer and now the Fifty Shades stuff.

Hopefully the guys are resourcefully enough to keep the shows wheels firmly on the

tracks but rumours do abound that this will be its penultimate season.

Having been a strong ratings winner over the years I suppose if that is the case then FX and Sons creator Sutter deserve some level of credit for realising that the show was possibly getting close to the end of its ‘shelf life’ and for wanting to let the show bow out on its own terms, building toward a planned finale for season 7, unlike a lot of shows that get cut off without warning.

But hey, that’s another story, and rumours are just rumours, so let’s concentrate on the now, and for those like me who wanna keep up with what’s happening with the SAMCRO motorcycle club here’s a wee reminder of how things ended last season and how things are shaping up for the new season ahead.

Stewardship of the club in now in the hands of Jax (Hunnam), who if we remember plotted with his mother Jemma (Katey Sagal) to help put his stepfather, Clay (Ron Perlman), behind bars for his previous wrong doings against them. Jax’s wife (Maggie Siff) also ended season 5 locked up along with Sutter’s own character of Otto after murdering a nurse and bringing the wrath of a former U.S. Marshall (Donal Logue) firmly down upon the clubs head.

SOA is a strange bed fellow, no side in the show are really ‘the good guys’, there is never one person who isn’t very far away from some kind of involvement in some sort SEP 2013 - issue (32)

of shady deal, assault, prostitution, murder, drug deal and not forgetting their bread and butter enterprise - gun running.

It’s a backdrop where you choose your sides based on a varying level of ‘badness’.

Overall the show is a completely engrossing experience, and over the course of the seasons the cast has been shored up, or upgraded if you like, with the additions of the likes of Jimmy Smits as Sagal’s love interest and now CCH Pounder as the determined district attorney and Peter Weller as a corrupt ex-cop.

SOA 6 confronts some interesting moral grounds, one being the collateral damage caused by the club’s illegitimate business activities and questions surrounding just how far Jax and his club will go in terms of shutting up an unfortunate eyewitness.

With violence, corruption and crime at its heart, SOA has walked a fine line throughout its five previous seasons and have managed to keep a level of in house violence that has kept a sense of danger without actually killing off many of the central characters too soon. Even when they do they are wellplaced and serve well as reminders to the audience that these characters aren’t playing at being criminals, they are criminals.

Mr Suit for GoGuide Magazine Contributor

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TV&DVD TV FEATURE

Mr Suit for GoGuide Magazine Contributor

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J

ust like the fictional organisation itself, American TV channel ABC, has kept its up and coming Avengers series blanketed in secrecy with very little being released, confirmed or denied. So on initial analysis “Marvel’s Agents of SHIELD” is pretty much worthy of the secret organization that it centres on, with ABC only releasing the actual pilot of the show during this year’s Comic-Con and critics getting a first look at that point.

So after all this I suppose there are only a few things we wanna know right?

Is it any good?

Can Marvel’s theatrical big budget muscle cross over to a primetime TV slot?

Can it bridge the gap between ‘fan boys’ and casual viewers?

Well, in short, the answers are pretty much yeh… the later we will just need to wait and see.

Understandably anything connected to a movie brand so popular is sure to launch to massive interest but maintaining that level of interest might just prove to be too much even for this collection of superheroes to handle.

Most of that burden will be falling on exec producer Joss Whedon, who did a massively successful job on the big screen with “The Avengers”, so I wouldn’t take his contribution too lightly. Agents of SHIELD can at times resemble a good number of other series with the same ‘team fighting to save the world’ premise, this time though with a bit better hardware… get the gist? Basically think ‘Man From UNCLE’, The X-Files, Buffy and you won’t be far wrong.

The opening of the series starts where the movie ended with a high-tech government organization (it’s an acronym for Strategic Homeland Intervention Enforcement and Logistics Division) given the task of ‘protecting the ordinary from the extraordinary’, as the official press release states.

In the series SHIELD is headed by Agent Coulson (Clark Gregg), who was noticeably bumped off in The Avengers movie. This will no doubt open the debate about whether his appearance is explained well enough, I like his dry humour and with a big connection to the franchise I can probably go with it. The pilot episode ties up a big chunk of necessary business and acquaint us with heroic members of Coulson’s squad who as a whole are pretty good. Despite these performances the TV shows ties to cinema universe are pretty fragile without the ability to call on the host of big stars involved in the cinema version.

There’s certainly a big focus on the action and some fabulous gizmos will most certainly play a big part in the proceedings.

Over all though, SHIELD has well-structured formulae underneath its slick outer wrapping. It may be a hell of a lot to ask from any new series, but seeing as this is a mighty merger of ABC, Disney and Marvel I’m guessing SHEILD will call for a good deal higher level of examination than most would and as they say in the movies… ‘With great power comes great responsibility’ Marvel’s Agents of SHIELD kicks off in the states on ABC on Sept 22nd @ 8pm SEP 2013 - issue (32)

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TV&DVD DVD FEATURE

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TV&DVD DVD FEATURE

The Evil Dead (1981)

T

he Evil Dead (1981) is still renowned by many critics and fans as a horror cinema masterpiece and continues to terrify and amuse audiences 30 years later. But being born in 1990, I did not get the opportunity to see The Evil Dead in all its glory in the cinemas like my parents did. However, 2013 saw the release of Evil Dead – the reboot of The Evil Dead and gave both my generation and myself a chance to experience what promised to be an iconic moment in cinematic history for ourselves. We were given the chance to become familiar with the sheer trepidation, the dark humour and the plot originality that our parents before us had, albeit through a much more modern approach to filmmaking and updated special effects. How we were disappointed.

Instead of a worthy reboot of a classic horror film that both speaks to and offers itself to a new generation, what we got was a washed out and uninspired cut-out copy of almost any other horror film of the last 10 years.

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Gore has replaced tension and the body count has replaced original and motivated story.

As strange a concept as it may be to say that a horror film lacks charm, it is a statement that rings true for this reboot. Evil Dead (2013) lacks the charm and passion which the first film had in abundance. What made the first film so charming was that it was successful despite all the odds being heavily stacked against it. The film had a relatively modest budget, neither cast nor crew really knew what they were doing as they were all practically amateur and the filming process was unpleasant and primitive - yet it all worked. It was funny and unique and had brilliant effects for the time. It was the first of its kind and spawned many more low-budget horror films which (for better or worse) helped to sculpt a genre. Alvarez’s remake is just as slapdash a production as the original, but this rendition is soulless and lacks any charm to redeem it. It takes itself too seriously and charm is replaced by arrogance – its tagline states with certainty that this film is “the most terrifying film you will ever experience”.

Right from the start of the narrative the backstory lacks anything to make the audience empathise with or even vaguely like the characters. In the original film five young men and women venture off to a cabin in the woods to have fun and generally have a good time. That is why what happens to them is so horrific in contrast. However this time around the five young men and women venture off to a cabin in the woods to help Mia go cold

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turkey from her heroin addiction. So the characters (and vicariously the audience) are already there for a bad time and expect it – albeit not as bad of a time as they will end up getting.

One reason behind what makes horror films so successful is how the audience feels about the characters involved. The characters need to be so embedded in reality that they could be sat next to you in the cinema, they could live on your street, or they could be anyone you know. That way, when the lines of reality and the supernatural start to blur, your sense of what is real and what is not real become distorted and you become disturbed by what is happening to these characters on screen.

Their realism is what makes them likeable.

Many will have a quirk or two to help them stand out and make them unique, but all in all, they really could be anyone in the real world. With this movie the characters are one-dimensional and stereotypical to the point where the audience sees through the attempt to disguise them as ‘one of us’ and they become cardboard cut-outs of what is expected of horror film characters. Having said that, all of these characters appear to be frustratingly stupid compared to the usual trope of just one or two common-senseless characters.

The character of Eric (Lou Taylor Pucci) uncovers the book of the Dead and unwittingly unleashes hell upon him and his friends by reading aloud form the book, despite obvious warnings written in the book itself not to. What should have ensued was a gory, entertaining thriller through the

The Evil Dead (2013)

woods and cabin as these young people try to fight off the Evil. However, all that follows is unremitting stupidity on the characters’ part. Shiloh Fernandez’s David (the sub-par stand in for Bruce Campbell’s Ash) is almost intolerable. His stupidity knows no bounds.

The majority of the movie is spent with him not coming to terms with the fact that his sister is obviously possessed, and instead tries to blame the drug withdrawal she is going through.

The characters weren’t the only issue with this reboot, the acing was appalling. The lines were delivered with a flat, unvaried tone and even scenes where the characters were supposed to evoke extreme emotions (fear, confusion, anger) the performances were stale and uninspiring. Having said that, I feel that the actors genuinely did the best that they could, considering that the script that they had to work with was lifeless and undistinguished to start with, and the characters of Natalie and Olivia had little else to do other than scream, shout and then die.

Jane levy’s portrayal of the possessed Mia was decently creepy at times, but it seems to be one of those roles that given the right special effects and finding the right tone of voice, anyone could do.

The film took itself seriously and it shouldn’t have. It was neither funny nor scary, and its desperate attempt to be taken seriously was apparent to everyone, it ruined the whole film. Had this been a light spoof on the genre as a whole, and used its corny and over-done script to a different potential, this could have been really funny and yet quite tense in

certain aspects – just like the original was.

Considering that the film intended for itself to be taken seriously by audiences, it completely lacked suspense and tension. This is not an over-exaggeration - the plot is given away before we as an audience are allowed to question what will happen next. The wind blows the book open to an illustration of what is about to happen to one of the characters, destroying any atmosphere of tension before it has even been allowed to start. Even the opening scene abolishes any sense of mystery to those new to the ideas behind the franchise by implicitly mentioning the book and showing a possessed young girl being set on fire and then shot.

Evil Dead (2013) wasn’t scary, and the heartbreaking thing is, it should have been. There were a couple of shots that should have been terrifying, but for some reason just…weren’t.

Psychological scare tactics could have been utilised to really unnerve the audience and then give them a gory encounter The gore became laughable at some points as it was just too over-the-top - there was no shock factor. Had it been the occasional occurrence then it would perhaps be shocking and effective.

Some scenes from the trailer didn’t make the theatrical cut, so perhaps the director’s cut will have more to it and perhaps deliver some of the scenes that were expected– such as the iconic “we’re gonna get you” scene.

The only good thing I can say about this film is that the director seemed to favour practical effects over CG. Although there are some

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CG effects present they are minimal and the majority of scenes seem be dominated by practical effects. Practical effects give horror films a higher sense of realism and makes things scarier and more difficult to watch which is a necessary factor for a film with the intentions that this one had.

Evil Dead (2013) seems like an unashamed attempt to cash in on a popular franchise, and a poor attempt to remake a film that most horror fans hold close to their hearts.

Cult films are cult for a reason – many are original in story and give the audience a great experience. They have soul – the actors, directors and writers pour themselves into the films they create because they do what they love. Many cult filmmakers did so without the sole intention of breaking the box office and making more money than ever before. But this remake seems to only be after the money, relying on the iconic name to bring the audiences in and to take their money – destroying their faith in reboots in the process. This film is an ‘Evil Dead’ film only in name, as it’s plot and story do not represent what the first did – originality and a true love for the craft.

Cult films should be left alone for further generations to find them on their own, not reboot them. Fans will seek originals out on their own merits, and what made this reboot so disappointing was that it was backed by both Raimi and Campbell.

Words Victoria Tickle for GoGuide Magazine Contributor

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TV&DVD

DVD REVIEWS WITH

DVD REVIEWS

S

eeing as this is the ‘big budget’ debut of Danish director Niels Arden Oplev (of the original version of Girl With the Dragon Tattoo fame) I was looking forward to something a little special with Dead Man Down. But you can’t have everything I guess…

Colin Farrell plays the mob enforcer guy with a dark secret from his past and perhaps even darker thoughts running through his mind in the present. Kicking off the movie spends the first 15-20 minutes trying to emulate every other cliché seen in a bundle of other movies in the past 30 years and then kinda fails to deliver on anything really.

Over all the movie depicts a gloomy and violent world filled with men who use ‘code’ to talk about their deals, drugs and prostitution with each other. Farrell is on pretty good form as he attempts to toe a very fine and indistinct line with his character in the hope of drawing us into the movie and hitting us with the big reveal at the end… for me it doesn’t and is pretty uninteresting really.

More interesting is the French girl who lives opposite him played

by Noomi Rapace, she’s a car accident victim, scarred and battered.

The two begin a relationship centred on a common theme of bribery and payback. Rapace somehow manages to make you kinda like and feel for her character in a way that we don’t with Farrell.

As predictable as you might have guessed already the movie climaxes with a typical all guns blazing shoot-out that lacks any real freshness or thinking out the box in order to bring something new to the proceedings and there is no real energy, vitality or style present throughout. Surely these guys can do better?

Words Mr Suit for GoGuide Magazine Contributor

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A

Ray Cooney adapted stage play Run For Your Wife strangely seems to have been made without even the slightest modification to fit the big screen or DVD market.

Everything seems to be setup for people sitting in row Z rather than for our front row seats courtesy of the half a dozen cameras it was filmed on.

John Smith, played rather well actually by Danny Dyer, is a cheeky chappie taxi driver living two idyllic lives. In South London he lives with wife Michelle (Denise Van Outen) but has a second wife Stephanie (Sarah Harding) across the river and he juggles them both along with his shift-work job. One day he comes to the aid of a bag lady (Dench) attacked by thugs and he gets injured and lands in hospital. Wives Michelle and Stephanie call the police when he doesn’t come home from work. Michelle meets a detective (Ben Cartwright) and Stephanie speaks to a cop (Nicholas Le Prevost), and eventually the two officers rumble John’s wee set-up. As a result he enrols his neighbour (Neil Morrissey) to help him out.

The movie is played out at a super-fast pace and never really pauses to look at the potential is has. Dialog is yelled rather than spoken and for the most part the actors give performances that make their characters totally unpleasant.

Whether planned or not, the ‘non actors’ Van Outen and Harding go around absolutely over-reacting to everything that happens so much so that I find it hard to understand exactly why anyone can bear to be around them for very long at all never mind married to both. The collection of British acting cameos is pretty impressive but each one does little to drag the movie out of its tediousness. Sure somewhere along the line you might find yourself mildly tickled at something silly, but I challenge anyone to actually sit through it to the end like I had to…. Go on… I dare you…!!!

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Words Mr Suit for GoGuide Magazine Contributor

JAMES, NATASHA and Mr SUIT

T

he 6th in the Fast & Furious franchise promised auto warfare and that’s pretty much what you get throughout most of this movie. I’d stick my neck out and say that this is the biggest and best entry in the growing world of the F&F heist action series.

No one seems to have told Universal Pictures that franchises hitting their sixth outing are supposed to be worse than their predecessors as apposed to getting better. Well F&F6 is a nitrous injected hunk of slick fast cars, buff beefcakes and super sexy chicks spanning the globe in search of a good joyride. The action scenes are ultimately very entertaining, without ever becoming just a collection of clichéd chase scenes, and the story holds up reasonably well.

As we kick off the opening scenes we find duo Dominic Toretto (Vin Diesel) and Brian O’Connor (Paul Walker) and their crew of felonious mates living the good life spending the mountain of bootee gained obviously from their previous successful heists.

Things take a turn for the worst when DSS (Diplomatic Security Service) agent Luke Hobbs (Dwayne Johnson) persuades the gang to come out of retirement and help him stop another group of top gear criminals, headed up by the super smooth mercenary Owen Shaw (Luke Evans).

Justin Lin takes the directing reigns again and sort of pushes the bounderies of automotive metal action utilising a fair collection of cars, motorbikes, tanks and even the odd plane along the way, on a seemingly never ending runway I might add.

Lin has been deemed as one of tinsel towns more accomplished directors for action movies and his knack of creating ridiculously enjoyable action sequences does indeed seem to be standing him in good stead. One thing that does standout however in this movie is the fact that he and screenwriter Chris Morgan have taken a pretty rundown franchise and created a believable injection of live and depth into their story.

Diesel, Walker and The Rock, or Dwayne Johnson, but he’ll always be The Rock to me, all bring to the table just the right amount of machoness to theior respected roles so they never really overshadow the real stars of the movie, the girls… no of course I mean the CARS….

There are shots a plenty of nice, shiny super fast cars to keep all the petrol heads happy.

For those like me who are red blodded males but not particularly partial to our 4 wheeled friends there are also plenty of shorty short clad ladies kicking ass around just to keep us happy as well, with special kudos going to professional fighter turned actress Gina Carano who has seems to be grabbing with both hands the opertunities coming her way since appearing in Steven Soderbergh’s Haywire and is looking on track to be one of he new breed of big female action star.

Fast & Furious 6 could just have everything in all the right proportions to keep a large part of the movie going public happy not forgetting on almighty cliff-hanger that I’m sure will leave most of us drooling for more. Lets hope someone can take over where Lin has left off since he won’t be returning for any more of the series.

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Words Mr Suit for GoGuide Magazine Contributor PAGE 97

TV&DVD

DVD REVIEWS WITH

DVD REVIEWS

P

reaching to the Perverted is a classic cult British comedy from 1997 which has been digitally re-mastered thanks to a kickstarter campaign and unleashed on Blu-ray for the first time. For those who missed it the first time round (or were too young to appreciate it) Preaching to the Perverted follows a Politicians campaign against a fetish club. He hires a young assistant to infiltrate the club, using “high tech” gadgets to get footage which will condemn the club and help his career. Just a shame the assistant in question falls for Mistress Tanya Cheek who runs the whole thing.

The film is has a lot of people from the fetish club scene so I can only assume how accurate the portrayal of the clubs are (…

Ahem) but this film isn’t just for those involved in the scene. It’s very funny and you feel a lot of empathy for the people fighting to keep their club alive. Don’t get me wrong it’s been embraced by the fetish scene too, so Director Stuart Urban clearly had all the right people involved. Making a cross over film that actually works. Usually when you try to make a film about a certain club scene you get numerous embarrassing moments for all those involved in it.

I would say it’s a masterpiece of fetish cinema but I’m sure it’d put a lot of people off. I will just say it’s a very funny film about a scene you don’t usually get to see on film. It features a host of British talent including Ricky Tomlinson, Julie Graham, Roger Lloyd-Pack and Sue Johnston. Though I will say Ricky Tomlinson is the least believable woman of all time. It’s so good in fact that I put money towards the kickstarter campaign, my name now appears in the credits for the digital re-master and everything.

Which is all kinds of cool.

C

ompliance is a low budget thriller set in a fast food restaurant in which the manager of the store gets a call from a ‘police officer’. During the call the officer explains that one of her workers has stolen money from a customer, they can’t send anyone down there as they are very busy and if she could ask the employee some questions to find out what happened. It then escalates to extreme unbelievable heights. Which is worrying since it’s based on a true story.

Seriously I looked up the case this is based on and they don’t go into half of what actually went on. It’s ridiculous. They perform a strip search and numerous other things and at no point check the story with the area manager who is apparently on the other line. It’s a hard watch as you see the staff being manipulated by the officer. Who of course isn’t an officer but a prank caller. This isn’t a spoiler or anything as you find this out within the first 30 minutes. It’s just bizarre that no one realises something is wrong.

Don’t get me wrong some people refuse to go along with the ‘officer’ as they realise what they are being asked is wrong but they don’t do anything else about it. They don’t call the area manager or the actual police. It’s interesting to see the staff and managers fiancé being put into moral situations and failing.

There’s no evidence that this person is an officer, or that a crime has been committed but at no point are the right questions asked until it’s too late.

It’s a hard film to judge. It’s well shot, and extremely well acted.

The main problem I have with it is how unbelievable it is, which is bizarre since this actually happened. Not just once either. It just boggles the mind that people can be so gullible and morally corrupt. Anyway, it’s interesting and worth a watch even if it’s just to see how far people can go. Again, based on a true story.

I’m off for a shower now, this film did not leave me with a fuzzy feel good John Hughes feeling.

Words

James McCulloch for GoGuide Magazine

Movie & DVD Reviewer

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Words

James McCulloch for GoGuide Magazine

Movie & DVD Reviewer

MYMHM

JAMES McCULLOCH, NATASHA ORME

MOVIES

I

t’s a Disaster is one of the funniest films I’ve seen in a long time. I know that’s a bold statement to make at the start of the review which I may never live up to but I couldn’t stop laughing at this and had to let you all know as soon as possible. So It’s a disaster has four rather dysfunctional couples getting together for brunch, then after having a large amount of dirty bombs go off downtown realise that the city they live in is doomed and they are now stuck inside with each other if they want to survive.

And there’s no guarantee that’ll happen since the contents of the dirty bomb will no doubt lead them to have a rather gruesome death. As events unfold they aren’t sure if they’d be better off dying horribly outside or staying inside with each other.

Now there’s been rather a few apocalyptic style films of late but this came out in the states last year so got a jump start on them all. It’s a low budget comedy featuring the awesome David Cross and Julia Styles as a couple on their third date meeting her friends for the first time. The cast is filled with familiar faces including America Ferrera who is phenomenal and has managed to quite successfully get rid of the Ugly Betty mantle a lot quicker than most people from a big TV show manage to do.

Now here comes the problem. As with rather a lot of films I’ve been watching lately it’s not actually available here yet. You can get the Region 1 DVD sent over which is definitely worth it or watch it on American Netflix if you have that. So keep an eye out.

It’ll no doubt appear here soon but I just had to let you all know about it as soon as possible. I mean it’s just that good.

YOU MIG

HT HAV

?

E MISSE

D

E

den Lake is a shocking British thriller/ horror movie that actually left me with some serious sh*t going on inside my wee head. Watching it will almost certainly give leave you with some seriously haunting themes to chew on, ones that seem oh so close to home when they are not about some American ghetto or outback wilderness. It’s just too damn close man. And too damn scary.

The movie tells the harrowing story of Steve (Michael Fassbender) who takes his girlfriend Jenny (Reilly) on a camping weekend to a local beauty spot soon to be redeveloped into housing or something.

Initially their peaceful break is interrupted by a group of noisy teens led by Brett (Jack O’Connell) and his girlfriend Paige (Finn Atkins) who at first just seem to be out to piss people off. Things take a turn for the worse when Steve tries to confront them and their parents the following day, things get messy and it soon turns into frightening battle to survive the sick wee b*stards brutal attacks.

Writer and director James Watkins seems to have played all the right cards and created a terrifyingly vicious movie that will almost certainly have some of you reaching for the off button, not for the on screen horror but from the horror in your own mind. It’s a sharp comment on an extreme element of British society that is being seen more and more these days, be it on a much smaller scale, but one that every now and again flares up and lets you know that they are rebelliously refusing to play by even the most fundamental rules of human relations.

Walk away Steve..... just walk away man.

Words

James McCulloch for GoGuide Magazine

Movie & DVD Reviewer SEP 2013 - issue (32)

Words

Mr Suit for GoGuide Magazine

Contributor PAGE 99

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GAMING

CHART

GGGAMES CHARTS

The Top 10 BoxOffice games for Playstation, Xbox and PC this month.

PS3

1 DIABLO III

6 DISNEY INFINITY

2 SAINTS ROW IV

7 FARMING SIMULATOR 2013

3 TOM CLANCY’S SPLINTER CELL: BLACKLIST 4 THE LAST OF US

8 RAYMAN LEGENDS

10 MADDEN NFL 25

DIABLO III

5 FINAL FANTASY XIV: A REALM REBORN

X-BOX

1 SAINTS ROW IV

2 DIABLO III

6 FARMING SIMULATOR 2013

3 TOM CLANCY’S SPLINTER CELL: BLACKLIST 4 PAYDAY 2

8 CALL OF DUTY: BLACK OPS II

5 DISNEY INFINITY

10 MADDEN NFL 25

9 PAYDAY 2

7 RAYMAN LEGENDS

9 FIFA 13

SAINTS ROW IV

PC

1 ROME: TOTAL WAR II

6 SIMCITY

2 FINAL FANTASY XIV: A REALM REBORN 3 FOOTBALL MANAGER 2013

7 THE SIMS 3: UNIVERSITY LIFE 8 COMPANY OF HEROES 2

4 THE SIMS 3: ISLAND PARADISE 5 THE SIMS 3

9 THE ELDER SCROLLS V: SKYRIM - LEGENDARY 10 CIVILIZATION V: GOLD EDITION

ROME: TOTAL WAR II

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JULY SEP 2013 2013 -- issue issue (30) (32)

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GAMING

REVIEW

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A

fter a very long wait Creative Assembly gave us the eagerly awaited Rome 2. With Larger scale battle maps, bigger and better units and a larger scale and robust campaign map, what could go wrong? But even Rome had its problems, and it shows up in the game too.

Let’s get the bad news over with first, the main disappointment for me is the dreadful A.I. Before the update it was appalling, enemies wouldn’t even put up a fight or offer any strategic mind games. But even after the update it seems that the A.I. still hasn’t improved much.

Well one thing is for sure Rome 2 has upped the ante for battle strategy games and is definitely the best Total War game to date.

From the start you can risk it and jump right into a historical, custom and quick battles or even online battles, after learning a few basics from the prologue you can then head into the new campaign map. With a more dynamic detailed map of Europe and further expanding into the east, it’s the biggest map that has ever been in a Total War game.

The campaign features only a few playable with each faction having individual perks and missions that are unique to them and there are multiple victory situations including military, economic and cultural.

The campaign map is no longer made up of individual cities, now there are provinces that have cities within them, usually averaging about three per province, and upon acquiring a whole province you can instigate a boost to the economy such as increase food or decrease the cost of stuff like mercenary hiring within that province. The only issue is upon ending your turn, you may as well go pop the kettle on, or catch up with your Sky+ viewing as it will take some time for it to come back around to you, it can be shortened slightly by disabling the ‘track A.I. moves’ in the options menu but only slightly.

One of the more drastic changes within campaign is the armies, the only unit that can move through the map is your generals, upon selecting your general you can now recruit units which you can do on the move.

You no longer have to worry about recruiting units at your cities as they will already have a garrison within them.

It’s the massive ground battles that really show of the true power of Rome 2. With literally thousands of units shaking the ground and charging towards the enemy, it SEP 2013 - issue (32)

will send chills across your body. You’re now able to control up to 40 units, which can seem a bit of a handful to manoeuvre for the new players of the game. The new naval combat sections are a great addition to the game which is now a playable feature where different plans of attack are necessary. Each unit is also individually beautifully designed which pushes you to use the new unit cam to zoom right in on the action.

The technical part of your brain mind will come out when you play online battles against other real life players as it’s nice to fight against an enemy that will put up a fight and plan ahead using the new cover feature proficiently. You can now play with a friend online in a campaign were you can choose your own factions and either take the world by force or by making allies.

With only a few annoyances that will soon be getting patched hopefully, Rome 2 does spur greatness and immense battles. Your imperialist self will come out as you defeat your enemies and conquer further into the map growing your vast empire.

GGG Sam Sheppard for GoGuide Magazine

Games Review and News Contributor

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GAMING

REVIEW

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GAMING

N

REVIEW

ow, I’m not really much of a Splinter Cell guy, I’m more of a Metal Gear Solid guy but Blacklist had intrigued me from when I first watched some trailers of its in game play. So, with Blacklist being the first Splinter Cell I’ve actually completed, will Sam Fishers iconic goggles be enough to win me over.

The game starts with an attack on a Guam military base where Fisher is present; the Blacklist is a series of threats on cryptic targets such as American Consumption and American Fuel, aimed at forcing the US government to withdraw its troops from all foreign lands. After Fisher is placed at the head of a new team, it's up to Fisher to track down and stop the mysterious group known as The Engineers and outthink a foe that's constantly one step ahead. Your airborne base of operations is filled by a small team of experts that don't always see eye to eye, and mission briefings play up these tense relationships. Some of these moments present an illusion of choice, perhaps giving you the option to delay a mission for an advisor's benefit, but things play out much the same way regardless either way.

This flying command centre acts as your hub between missions, allowing you chat with your crew call your daughter and access menus to choose missions, select upgrades, and customize your gear. The upgrading system does seem quirky though, for instance why do I have to buy 5 pairs of gloves in order to buy the best pair? And there’s no way I’m fighting to save lives and the US government is asking for $60,000 for a pair gloves… really?

Regardless of broadening the game's credibility, the scoring system definitely pushes you to get the most out of each level. You're rewarded for three different play styles: ghost play style is for non-lethal takedowns and not raising alarms; panther play style focuses on silent kills and evading pursuers; and assault play style is all about going all John Rambo on your enemies. With your actions separated among these three styles, you're encouraged to focus on one particular style per play through, giving you encouragement to retry levels with different load outs and techniques.

There are a number tools and gadgets are at your disposal. Fisher’s trademark goggles give you a couple ways to see in the dark, and you can distract guards with a noisemaker or a noticeably placed body or knock them out with stun guns or sleeping gas. At times, you'll even have access to a small tri-rotor helicopter capable of scouting out the area ahead or stunning someone from afar. The tag and kill feature works both ways for stealth and during combat Blacklist is a fairly lengthy game with about a dozen campaign missions, on top of this are another dozen optional missions, via your staff. Most of these can be played alone or with a co-op partner, there are some that are solo only. While these levels tend to be shorter, they would require more careful planning or at least more attempts to get it right. Working with someone

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else certainly takes a bit more patience, but putting a plan together and organizing your movements for a clean outcome is an impressively satisfying experience.

In addition to the solid single player and co-op missions, Blacklist also has online Spies vs. Mercs multiplayer.

Mercs play in first-person with heavy weapons and limited mobility, while the more vulnerable spies can climb to higher ground, crawl through vents, and perform stealth takedowns. Four-on-four Blacklist matches allow tools and customizable load outs with Mercs utilizing temporary abilities like adrenaline shots that lets them see in the dark. There's also Extraction mode, which puts spies on defence as the Mercs attempt to grab and retrieve intel. Each of these modes requires players to work together to be successful.

Finally a team deathmatch option lets you switch from Spy to Merc every time you spawn, making it hard to predict who might get the drop on you.

Despite some minor issues however, Splinter Cell Blacklist impresses me with its flow and changeability.

The game not only gives you the option to play how you want, but pushes you to perfect your play-style. I’ll be looking forward to more Splinter Cell In the future.

GGGG Sam Sheppard for GoGuide Magazine

Games Review and News Contributor

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GAMING

REVIEW

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F

rom a mere nobody that never spoke, rising through the ranks of gang culture, coming back from a coma and leading your gang to greatness once again, becoming an iconic celebrity with brand named merchandise. To now, the President of the United States… that is where the top dog of the Saints is now positioned, as the leader of the free world… now let’s save the human race against a god damn alien invasion. Queue the dubstep…

Saints Row 4 does nothing but satisfy your craving for over the top action and WTF’ness.

As your short rule as the President of the good old USA is interrupted by an alien invasion you’re shortly taken prisoner by Zinyac, the alien overlord and placed into a simulated version of Steelport which acts as the main playground for missions and generally mucking about. You will be required to leave the simulation and return to reality in order to rescue and talk to other crew members, start missions and even romance the crew if you wish.

You won’t be too long into the game before you start earning your super powers, firstly you will start off with supers sprint and super jump just to get you started before earning

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more through playing the story. Steelport the simulation is much the same with alien structures and garrisons placed all over the city ready for you to super kick some extraterrestrial ass. The city is also filled with a number of side missions for you to complete in order to gain control of parts of Steelport, you can access these missions freely but they are also the missions that your crew members will assign to you to perform so you may as well leave them until your told to do them plus your crew will give you a reward after.

Most of the same side missions make their return such as Insurance Freud, Mayhem and Professor Genki’s Super Ethical Reality Climax but slightly tweaked to fit your newly gifted super powers. With super powers such as super sprint and super jump, all other means of transportation seems useless and less fun. Although you will really appreciate them during combat, the alien forces have numerous ways flanking you and always keep the pressure up, so utilising all of your powers is essential just as much as remembering you have got guns at your disposal too. Super powers will get you somewhere but can also be the deciding factor during combat.

Grunts can seem easy to handle but can put up a fight when Predator style aliens and Terminator style robots appear on the battlefield, but it’s when fighting the boss wardens that the combat can become excruciating. You first have to take out their shield by using your super powers then your best bet is using your weapons to take down SEP 2013 - issue (32)

its health, but its annoying tendency to fritter about can make it repetitive and avoids any style of tactics other than shoot it. Once its health is low you will fly straight into the creature and perform a Neo vs. Agent Smith Matrix style spontaneous combustion as you blow up the warden from the inside.

Your weapons can be customized to suit your heroic or wacky character, fan of the film ‘Desperado’? Why not turn your rocket launcher into a guitar case, or change your assault rifle to the famous pulse rifle from Alien, and even your pistol to Han Solo’s Blaster gun. New Alien weapons are also a fun new system for delivering death, the Inflato Ray will bloat the enemies head until it pops, the Abduction Gun will send your enemies hurling into the sky and the Black Hole Gun will pull in and destroy anything within the perimeter.

Saints Row 4 is mainly one big action parody game that actually delivers what it wanted.

There aren’t a lot of games like it out there but the most obvious game that it gets compared to is GTA, but Saints Row is filled with more humour and endless stupidity and witty remarks that it is sure to keep you entertained.

GG Sam Sheppard for GoGuide Magazine

Games Review and News Contributor

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OUTABOUT &

IN WEST LOTHIAN

The Bennie Museum

The Bennie Museum opened in 1989 as a museum of Bathgate’s history and life. It is run entirely by volunteers under the management of a Charitable Trust. It has been commended by the Association of Scottish Visitor Attractions. www.benniemuseum.org.uk 11am - 4pm (Apr to Sep) & 11am -3.30pm (Oct to Mar) - FREE 9-11 Mansefield Street, Bathgate, EH48 4HU 01506 634944

Almond Valley Heritage Trust,

Almond Valley is operated as a popular leisure destination that appeals to a diverse audience and promotes learning through discovery, family interaction and play. We also operate a formal education programme. www.almondvalley.co.uk Millfield, Livingston, EH54 7AR 01506 414957

The Garage Skatepark

The Garage Skatepark is an indoor skatepark based in Livingston which is being improved on constantly to give skaters the best experience around. The park is open to Skateboards ,Inline Skates and BMX. Kids under 16 wanting to ride at the park will be required to wear a helmet. The park also has its very own shop stocking Boards, Wheels, Trucks, T-shirts and other accessories. www.thegarage.zxq.net Mon - Sat: 10am - 10pm - Sun: 10am - 8pm 5D Grange Road, Houston Industrial Estate, EH54 5DE 01506 530892

Bankhead Mountainball

Like many ‘extreme’ sports, Zorbing, Orbing or Sphereing was created in New Zealand back in 1994. The concept is quite simple, you build a human sphere which can accommodate up to two fully grown adults, secure them inside then let them roll down a hill in it (hamsters have been exercised for many years in a very similar way!) www.bankheadmountainball.co.uk Contact for opening hours Bankhead Farm, Dechmont, Broxburn, EH52 6NB 01506 811209

Delta Force Paintball

Delta Force Paintball provides world class paintballing in Scotland. In addition to the scenery, incredible game zones provide players with an adrenalin-fuelled day of paintball action all year round. www.paintballgames.co.uk Weekends + 1 Weekday - check online for details Off Burnhouse Road, Dechmont, Livingston, EH49 6PL 0844 477 5050

Funtastic Fantasy Golf Limited

Miniature golf arena but it’s one with a difference it’s BLACK-LIGHT UV which means that not only do the 3D prop’s glow in the dark but also the golf balls and art work on the wall do too. This facility is a fantastic family day out for all ages & abilities with a cafe that sell homemade food made onsite at their cafe ‘Dino Bites’

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Mon - Sun: 10:00 am - 10:00 pm 3 St Andrews Way, Livingston, EH54 8HQ 07935 576943

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A1 PAINTBALL

A1 Paintball was established in 2002 with one goal in mind, giving their customers an open and honest paintball experience from start to finish and with no hidden extras. They provide only the very best and most comprehensive paintballing equipment and event management.

Haggs Road Wood Burnwynd, Nr Edinburgh, Midlothian EH27 8ED 01501 741709

Racing Karts

Racing Karts quickly established itself as a force in Indoor Kart Racing due to its attention to safety, cleanliness and customer satisfaction.

They like to call themselves ‘The Friendly Circuit’ www.racingkarts.co.uk Times: Booking required - call to arrange Arrol Square, Deans Industrial Estate, Livingston, EH54 8QZ 01506 410123

Livingston Skate Park

The Livingston Skatepark opened in 1981, at a time when most commercial skateparks were closing and was one of the most important facilities in Britain during a critical period in the development of skateboarding. It is an example of a free, unsupervised facility which achieved international status.

Daylight access all year round FREE 16 Northwood Park, Opposite Almondvale Shopping Centre, Livingston, EH54 6HR

Deer Park Ten Pin Bowling

Deer Park Bowling Centre is a 16 Lane Bowling Centre with the capacity to hold 128 bowlers. There is a bar and food served throughout. At ‘Late night Glow Bowling’ the lights are dimmed and the lanes come alive with GLOW IN THE DARK, ULTRA VIOLET lighting effects and music. www.deer-park.co.uk Mon-Thur: 4pm-10pm / Fri: 12pm-midnight / Sat: 10am-midnight / Sun: 10am-10pm Golf Course Road, Livingston, EH54 8AB - 01506 446699

Five Sisters Zoo

The Five Sisters Zoo was established in 2005 and is the only wildlife attraction centre in West Lothian. With over 100 different species of animals, birds and reptiles from all around the world your visit will be a fun, enjoyable and educational one - all ages. www.fivesisterszoo.co.uk Open 7 Days a week - 10am - 6pm (5pm Winter half of year) Gavieside, West Calder, EH55 8PT 01506 871 111

Overboard Soft Play

Overboard Soft Play is an exciting indoor Soft Play and entertainment venue for kids aged 0-11 yrs. They have it all, from chutes to ball pits to go-karts to ball cannons. With an underwater theme and seperate play zones for different age groups and abilities, your children are sure to have a great time from the minute they arrive until it’s time to go home. www.overboardsoftplay.com Wed - Sun: 10:15 am - 6:00 pm 3 St Andrews Way, Livingston, EH54 8HQ - 01506 873888

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QUIZ ANSWERS

NEVER THE BO MIND LLOCKS IT’S

THE GOG UIDE MUSI C QUIZ

SONG CLOUDS 1 2 3

IMAGINE - JOHN LENNON LED ZEPPELIN N E V A E H O T Y A W IR A T S QUEEN Y D O S P A H R N IA M E BOH

4

I Get Wet Andrew W K 7

I Created Disco Calvin Harris Page 120

ANSWE

5

RS

6

Whatever people say I am thats what i’m not

Arctic Monkeys 8

Its great when you’re straight yeah

Black Grape 9

Bummed Happy Mondays SEP 2013 - issue (32)

Unfinished Monkey Business

Ian Brown

UIZ MOVIE Q REMOVED ISSORS - ACTORS

EVER GIVE US SC IES PLEASE? NAME THE MOV

SILHOUETTE - N

1

ALICE IN WONDERLAND

2

GET HIM TO THE GREEK

3

HOT TUB TIME MACHINE SEP 2013 - issue (32)

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CLASSIC MOVIE POSTERS 101

T

rainspotting is a 1996 British black comedy/drama film directed by Danny Boyle based on the novel of the same name

by Irvine Welsh, who played hapless drug dealer Mikey Forrester, and starring Ewan McGregor, Ewen Bremner, Jonny Lee Miller, Kevin McKidd, Robert Carlyle, and Kelly Macdonald.

The Academy Award nominated screenplay, by John Hodge, follows a group of heroin addicts in a late 1980s economically depressed area of Edinburgh and their passage through life. Beyond drug addiction, other themes in the film are exploration of the urban poverty and squalor in “culturally rich” Edinburgh.

Heroin addicts Mark Renton (McGregor) and Spud (Bremner) - known by his nickname - are running down Princes Street pursued by store security guards. Renton’s circle of friends are introduced: amoral con artist Sick Boy (Miller), simple-minded, good-natured Spud - both also heroin addicts - clean-cut athlete Tommy (McKidd), and sociopath Begbie (Carlyle), who picks extremely violent fights with people who get in his way.

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