Grace & Glory January 2017 by Grace & Glory Magazine

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scripture page

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JANUARY 2017

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contents

On the Cover (left to right) Dr. Donte’ L. Hickman (Southern Baptist Church)

Pastor Derren A. Thompson

(More Than Conquerors Worship Center)

Pastor Mark R. Nolan (New Hope Baptist Church)

Pastor Lester Lee

(Fruitful Living Worship Center)

Pastor Kenneth Harper

(Channel of Grace Worship Center)

Special Feature pgs 8-12 - This month Harford County pastors come together to share with our readers how their ministries are impacting the lives of those who reside in the Harford County corridor and surrounding communities. We salute these pastors for the great works they are all doing in Harford County.

Feature Articles 24 WOMAN’S PERSPECTIVE Tiffany Bethea

You Made It!

26 SINGLE LIFE

32 NUTRITION & YOU

Herline A. Knights, RD, LD

8 Weeks To a Healthier You

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Tyneice Pack

Release to Receive in 2017

28 BOOK SHELF

Brandie Manigault

40 MAN TALK

Dr. Charles Barrett

A Call To Prayer (Germaine Copeland)

Reconciliation: Restoration of Relationships

Healthy Body

34 BOBY BASICS

www.organizeyourselfskinny.com

8 Easy Exercises You Can Do Sitting Down

Entertainment

Healthy Mind 20 TO YOUR GOOD HEALTH

Dr. Carla J. Debnam, (Founder, Renaissance Christian Counseling Center)

Stay The Course

Healthy Soul 42, 43 WORD OF ENCOURAGEMENT

Donna Royalty Ross

New Year-Let It Be a New You Mother’s Against Incest & Molestation (MAIM)

In Trust Ministries dwilliamsross@aol.com nistries

44 GOSPEL INDUSTRY NEWS

Ericka Johnson

In Every Issue Scripture Page........................................ 2 Contributors............................................ 6 From the Editor....................................... 7

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For the LORD God is a sun and shield: the LORD will give grace and glory: no good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly. Psalm 84:11

Contributors PUBLISHER/ Jackie Epps EDITOR-IN-CHIEF EDITORIAL

Herline A. Knights Dr. Carla J. Debnam Donna Royalty Ross Ericka Johnson Rev. Tim Tooten Brandie Manigault Tiffany Bethea Dr. Charles Barrett Tyniece Pack

GRAPHIC ARTIST Claire Lesesne www.JandCDesigns.com WEB ADMINISTRATOR Andre Felipe for Arts Period www.artsperiod.com PRINTING Roebuck & Son Printing www.hgroebuck.com PHOTO CREDITS January Cover: Shedrick Cain, Jr. December Cover: Pete O'Neal Grace & Glory Magazine is published monthly by JE Media, LLC, a Baltimore based, independent publisher. Copyright 2017. All rights reserved. Reproduction without expressed permission is prohibited.

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Advisory Board Chairman — Dr. A.C. D. Vaughn Sr. Pastor, Sharon Baptist Church, MD Vice-Chairman — Bishop Frank M. Reid, Jr. AME Church Dr. Michael A. Battle Sr., U.S. Ambassador President, ITC Seminary, Atlanta, GA Dr. Timothy Boddie Friendship Baptist Church, Atlanta, GA Bishop John R. Bryant Presiding Prelate of the 5th Episcopal District Dr. Harold A. Carter, Jr. Pastor, New Shiloh Baptist Church, MD Dr. Suzan Johnson Cook, U.S. Ambassador Dr. WIlliam H. Curtis Mt. Ararat Baptist Church, Pittsburgh, PA Bishop Ralph L. Dennis Sr. Pastor, Kingdom Worship Center, MD Wanda Q. Draper/Media Executive Michele J.K. Epps/Health Sciences Cassandra Vaughn/Media Executive Dr. Donte’ L. Hickman, Sr. Pastor, Southern Baptist Church, MD Pastor Timothy V. Manigault Healing Voices Ministries Dr. Kenneth O. Robinson Pastor, Dream Life Worship Center Bishop Walter Scott Thomas, Sr. Pastor, New Psalmist Baptist Church, MD Dr. Timothy Tooten, Sr. Pastor, Harvest Christian Ministries, MD

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from the editor

This was a slogan made popular by the Rev. Jesse Jackson; it has been quoted hundreds of thousands of times and is one of my favorites, “Keep Hope Alive!” I’m sure there may have been many things, events, and circumstances that happened last year that may have tried to kill your hope; but without hope we have nothing. A life without hope can be most miserable. There is also a saying that goes, “If you keep hope alive, it will keep you alive.” At the start of every New Year we look back and reflect upon what did or did not happen. Sometimes we look back with regret and sometimes we look back with thanksgiving. Nevertheless there isn’t much left we can do about 2016 but let it go and keep moving forward. There is always hope for the future. It is now a brand New Year and I encourage you to look toward this New Year with a fresh new hope! What is hope? Well, the modern idea of hope is “to wish for, to expect, but without certainty of the fulfillment; to desire very much, but with no real assurance of getting your desire.” In Scripture, according to the Hebrew and Greek words translated by the word “hope”, hope is an indication of certainty. “Hope” in Scripture means “a strong and confident expectation.” Hope is akin to trust. For in hope we have been saved, but hope that is seen is not hope; for why does one also hope for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, with perseverance we wait eagerly for it. Romans 8:24-25 There’s a lot that can be said about hope. There is always room for hope in everything we do in life. If you are alive there is hope, where there is life there is hope, get your hopes up. In fact one of the constant messages in the word of God is the message of hope. Hope is woven into the many stories, parables, and lessons in the scriptures. Anyone who is among the living has hope. (Ecclesiastes 9:4a) -Hope changes how we see ourselves. It changes us into pilgrim persons, people who see this life as a temporary sojourn.

-Hope changes what we value. Hope makes us heavenly minded rather than earthly minded. (Matthew 6:19-21) -Hope affects what we do with our lives – our talents, time, and treasures. (Titus 2:1-13) -Hope gives us joy and peace. Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. (Romans 15:13) -Hope gives us strength, courage, boldness. Be strong, and let your heart take courage, All you who hope in the LORD. (Psalm 31:24) -Hope gives us expectation. Wait and hope for and expect the Lord; be brave and of good courage and let your heart be stout and enduring. Yes, wait for and hope for and expect the Lord. (Psalm 27:14) -Hope gives us confidence in ministry. For it is for this we labor and strive, because we have fixed our hope on the living God, who is the Savior of all men, especially of believers. I Timothy 4:10 God is called “the God of Hope.” This means He is the source of all real hope. If we are going to have hope (confident expectation), it must come from Him for He alone has the power to give it. Hope gives us power to live courageously, to be all God has called us to be in Christ. My soul, waits in silence for God only, For my hope is from Him. (Psalm 62:5) This New Year my prayer is no matter what happens in this year, that you will never lose your hope for the future. Keeping hope alive depends on knowing and resting in God’s word. Jackie Epps Editor-in-Chief www.gracenglorymagazine.org 7 7 www.gracenglorymagazine.org

Pastor Kenneth Harper On the day of May 15, 2007, Pastor Kenneth Harper had a calling from God; he was entrusted with a mission, which would later take the name of “Channel of Grace Worship Center,” a place where God is worshipped and glorified, where His Word is preached, and where Christ’s love is demonstrated. The Church’s foundations were laid on the day of August 9, 2009, when Pastor Kenneth along with his wife Gail, and their two youngest children left the Christian Life Church to begin ministry in Edgewood, Maryland. With the strength of God, Pastor Harper and his family began the process of remodeling the basement in their home for Bible Class and on January 12, 2010 six families including the Harper’s took part in the Bible Study where Pastor Harper spoke on the theme of "How To Make Our Church a Model Church for Christ." On April 4th, 2010, Easter Sunday, Channel of Grace held its first worship service at William Paca Elementary School. On July 4, 2010, the church changed locations as it moved to the lower level of the Joppa Magnolia Fire House, where it continued to grow and many more people started attending and just after a little while, it transitioned to the upper level of the fire house. From the day of its foundation, the church has always strived to serve the community and spread the Gospel of Christ; in fact, even during the earlier stages of development of the church, it had established many opportunities to serve the community, including the annual GAS drive, Love–a-Laundry, Bless Your Child Day (which provides free backpacks and school 8 January January 2017 2017 || Grace&Glory Grace&Glory 8

supplies), annual turkey drive for Thanksgiving, and an annual toy drive for the Christmas holiday to name only a few. The year 2012 marked the time when the church, in a move ordained by God, began to search for a new location and found it in the heart of Edgewood. The church moved to its current location of, 2216 B Hanson Road, Edgewood MD. The first service in this current location was held on August 19, 2012. During the last few years, we have strived to promote well-being and harmony in our local and global communities by helping those in need and establishing ministries that serve those needs on an ongoing basis. In 2013 the M&M (Mastering Your Marriage) ministry was established at the church. M&M provides a safe, non-threatening environment for married couples to interact, form a fellowship and learn from one another. M&M teaches using biblical principles to teach marital wholeness and promote the family’s ability to stay together. In 2014 the Celebrate Recovery Ministry was established, which is a Bible-based program that provides help and hope for those suffering in the ravages of addiction. Celebrate Recovery meetings are open to everyone, regardless of church membership and all matters are held in the strictest of confidence. In 2015, we established our Transportation Ministry and purchased a 15-passenger van, which provides transportation to and from worship service on Sunday mornings. Earlier this year, 2016, under the direct leadership of First Lady Gail Harper, we established Little G.E.M.S. (God Equipping Miniature Saints), children’s church ministry and we officially launched the ARROWS Youth Ministry. The mission with which the church works, is to reach all people, regardless of ethnicities, from all walks of life; to enrich the lives of people with the gospel of Christ, to retain them as they become rooted in their understanding of God’s Word, and to release them to impact their local and global community for the glory of Christ. We are a Christ centered church; a place where Christ is worshipped and glorified. We are a place where the word of God is preached in its fullness, and where the Bible is valued. In all we do, our goal is to demonstrate the love of Christ. Channel of Grace Worship Center is a relational church, because rules that are made without relationships breed rebellion. If you wish to know more please visit. Sunday Worship service begins at 10:30a.m. (free continental breakfast is from 9-9:45). On Tuesday evenings Prayer Meeting begins at 6p.m. and Bible Study follows immediately at 7p.m. Celebrate Recovery is held every 1st and 3rd Friday of each month, beginning at 6:30p.m. The youth ministry, ARROWS, has jam Sessions and rap sessions throughout the year. M&M is typically held on the 2nd and 4th Friday of each month at 7 p.m. Details can be obtained by visiting the church website at www. mychannelofgrace.org, or by calling the church office at (410) 671-7148, or you may stop by to meet Pastor Harper and First Lady Gail Harper.

Pastor Mark R. Nolan

The New Hope Baptist Church is “The CHURCH WITH A HEART IN THE HEART OF BEL AIR”, strategically placed in this community by God to co-labor with Him in that great work of redemption. Having been in the Bel Air, Maryland community for 110 years, the church has been witness to the evolution of Harford County. This ministry is well respected among Ecumenical and Civic organizations. The congregation stands as a shining example of the power of selfless service. Jesus Christ has declared that the gates of hell shall not prevail against His church (Matthew 16:18), we therefore, recognize a continuous warfare. We engage to reclaim the future and the integrity of the church and of our families to the Glory of God. Our goals are comprised of scriptural mandates to insure that we no longer yield strategic ground to secular devices. Our vision is to become a center of family life where all facets of life are addressed and ministered to. We commit ourselves and our resources to seeking the lost, preaching the good news, accurately teaching biblical principles, making disciples, and showing that in Jesus Christ there is "New Hope!" New Hope was the first Black church in Harford County to serve a meal on Thanksgiving

Day (2001), and now partners with the St. Margaret Catholic Church, (one of the largest dioceses in Maryland), in an annual serving to the larger Harford community. We also partner with the Ames United Methodist Church in the annual Race to Feed the Hungry. Our outreach extends towards those who are currently experiencing homelessness through the Welcome One Shelter here in the county. Not only do members volunteer time and instruction at the shelter over a range of subjects and needs, but also serve meals monthly to the residents. This month we have the opportunity to serve as an emergency winter shelter for a week, and will not only provide a warm place to rest but also provide meals and encouragement. This will take place January 23-30, 2017. The New Hope Baptist Church is a friendly congregation that is welcoming and engaging. With more than twenty active ministries, there is an area for everyone to be involved. Our Worship hours are 8:00am & 11:00am and Sunday School at 10:00am. Bible Studies are Tuesday night at 7pm and Wednesday- Midday at 11:00am. Midweek Worship is Wednesday at 7pm. Pastor Mark R. Nolan is the 8th pastor in the story of New Hope. He has faithfully served this congregation as pastor, counselor, prophet, teacher and friend for 19 years. He has also been in the preaching ministry since March of 1977. This July New Hope is excited to celebrate with him his milestone in the Lord of 40 years of preaching and 20 years of pastoring. You are welcome to join us for worship any time the doors are open. You’ll find Pastor Mark Nolan & Big City Celebration with Lady Tawana Nolan Small Town Charm! www.gracenglorymagazine.org www.gracenglorymagazine.org 99

County, in helping people through discipleship and evangelism, regardless of their race, denomination, or ethnicity, be all and have all that God has for them. From 2007-2010 we hosted GED classes opened for all who wanted to attend free of charge and provided transportation if needed. Beginning August 2010-2014, I was led by the Lord to host an annual Multicultural Day event whereby the citizens of the Edgewood Community would join our church family and have the opportunity to meet and communicate with local Pastor Lester Lee county officials such as the chief of police, senator, and county executives in a full day of God’s word, praise, food, crafts, games, pony rides, etc. As the Pastor of Fruitful Living Christian Center Church, In 2014 through the grace of God we retained an elementary teacher and opened our Education Center for I want to first take this opportunity to thank Grace & Glory evening tutoring free of charge Magazine for featuring some of the Clergy in Harford and we are believing God for a County. It is exciting to see clergy coming together for second teacher in 2017 for middle the same common goal and that is seeking the lost. I must and high school children in the say that the Lord has been knitting Pastor’s hearts together community. here in Harford County We are currently through organizations working with several like Harford County Community Association Clergy Anointed and Boards in the Edgewood Harford County Leaders area in efforts to clean Organization. Truly God up the communities has prepared the Clergy of and to encourage adopting a street. What better way to fulfill the Great Harford County to receive Commission than to get out into the communities, meet the people, love on this abundant harvest of them and share the gospel of Jesus Christ. souls coming into the In 2015 and 2016 FLCC partnered with the Legendary Empire Biker body of Christ, Amen! We have come to Club to feed the hungry at the Prince of Peace Sharing Table. During the month of December 2016 we were blessed to adopt a realize that it’s not a family of seven and two single parent families for the holidays. We are denomination issue, nor happy anytime we can help others. a race issue, but it’s a soul (people) issue. It took a tragedy Just when the seats in our sanctuary came to full capacity, God gave us favor here in Harford County, with the death of Harford County on December 8, 2016 to purchase the land for our new multipurpose facility. Our Sheriff Officers to open our eyes and to really understand goal is to start the building process late 2017. In addition, it’s not about us, but it’s about touching we are trusting God for at least one home that can be used for the lives of people in spite of our doctrinal transitional housing and feeding the hungry. beliefs or titles. We have implemented a day of Super Giving on March 19, My wife (First Lady Sharon Lee) and I at Fruitful Living Christian Center have 2017 which is our Impact Giving where partners and others made it our mission to really push the give whatever God places on their heart to give and these Love of God in the Edgewood Community. funds go directly to the building fund. We have truly seen Our Vision is “To Build a Multicultural, God’s work through this super giving day, blessing the people Multipurpose Church Whereby Partners of God through increase in their finances, promotions on their Can Come Together for Life Changing jobs, raises and other financial miracles that have taken place Prayer, Praise and Worship.” in their lives. We thank God for every partner He has sent and is going to send to help bring our vision to past. I always ask the question can anything good come out of Edgewood. Yes it Please join us live via Periscope or in person for Sunday Pastor Lester Lee & Service at 10:00am and live via Periscope for Wednesday can! I believe that where there is a vision First Lady Sharon Lee evenings Bible Study at 7pm. To find out more and a list of God will always make the provision. It is our ministries or how you can get connected, please visit our website at www. with great compassion that God has led our church and fruitfullivingchristiancenter.com or call us at 410-671-9176. ministries in serving the Edgewood Community of Harford 10 January 2017 | Grace&Glory

The nine month study period began with 22 leaders and staff persons. We travelled to Atlanta, Georgia to the Elizabeth Baptist Church where my friend Craig Oliver is the Pastor of a multisite ministry with over five different locations and eight services every weekend. We shadowed their ministry and leaders that weekend and learned everything that was involved in multisite ministry. I also learned a great deal in Detroit, Michigan at Triumph Baptist Church from my friend Solomon Kinloch who does six locations with eleven services every weekend. We did our due diligence before our first service on September 11, 2010 and it showed in the capacity crowd we had at the theater. We outgrew the theater in six months and was able to move into the Aberdeen High School to begin the journey of establishing a Dr. Donte’ L. Hickman consistent ministry. What impresses me the most about our ministry in Harford In 2010 the Southern Baptist Church took a leap of County are the dedicated people from that community who have faith and established its first multi-site ministry presence been determined to form ministries of worship and outreach. They in Harford County, Maryland. Compelled by a mandate formed a choir, male and female ushers ministry, protocol leaders, for evangelism and discipleship we sought to meet the a diaconate ministry, new member counselors, greeters, children's 10,000 new families that church, bible study, men's fellowship, were being relocated to the Sunday School, media ministry and the area because of BRAC, the Harford House Outreach where not only do Defense Base Realignment they make charitable donations, but they and Closure. enable the church to adopt one family per I'll never forget driving year to assist with furniture, food, clothing the area trying to figure out and Christmas toys and gifts. where we could have our We have now been worshipping in worship services. I drove from Harford County for six years and we Edgewood to Joppatowne believe that the best is still yet to come. to Abingdon to Aberdeen. And because of the commitment and Little did I know that every consistency of the ministry we have step was being ordered by the been able to purchase a five acre swim Lord. During my tour I drove Aberdeen High School, Aberdeen, MD club property in Joppatowne to build a by Joppatowne High School church and community and talked to some kids who center. We hold an told me that everyone was at annual Tent Revival a basketball game at Edgewood High School. So on the property every immediately I went to the game where a First Lady September. We look of another church in the area recognized me and a forward to continued conversation ensued about the various areas of the ministry growth in county. That conversation led me the next day to Harford County as drive through Belair and Abingdon. And suddenly we seek to have our I saw the Belair Movie Theater in Abingdon and own facility there to knew it was the place to hold our services. I had further develop and our office to call the Tegal Cinemas immediately to duplicate the ministry ascertain the possibility of worshipping there and of the Southern Baptist everything fell in place. Church. www.gracenglorymagazine.org 11 11 www.gracenglorymagazine.org

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to your good health

People from all walks of life are experiencing sudden shifts and challenges. Whether it is personally, professionally, spiritually or physically, people are going through changes. With the seeming onslaught of issues and concerns we need to focus on something more stable and consistent than anything we depended on in the past. Our faith is the answer to staying on course and not letting the cares of life get us sidetracked. Being tested is a part of life and how we view our struggles determines how we overcome. It is best to use our discernment and courage to handle what can be perplexing times. Also in these times it is essential to lean on the word of God, prayer and relationships with family and friends. With this in mind we are encouraged by the Apostle Paul to, “Be on guard. Stand firm in the faith. Be courageous. Be strong. And do everything with love”, 2 Corinthians 16:13-14 (NLT). We are to watch and pray which increases our strength during adversity. Staying the course requires discipline and a sound mind. There will be times when we are weakened and want to give

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up on our faith and stop fighting for what is right but we must not give in to the temptation to quit. Your dream, your education, your relationship, your health and your faith are too important to let go. Fighting the good fight of faith requires tenacity, fortitude and determination. Remember the old cliché that “anything worth having is worth fighting for”. This is truer now more than ever. Keeping one’s spiritual strength during times of transition is the key to being firm and empowered no matter what happens. Life wants to take our joy, our peace and our potential. We have to stay the course in order to be successful and productive no matter what we face. We have the stamina and resilience to survive and even thrive in adversity because when we are weak, he is strong. Staying the course with the Savior is the best stabilizer in our lives. The Lord is our rock and salvation. Our sanity and safety is in his hands. When the winds of change begin to blow your way, stay the course, knowing God is on your Dr. Carla Debnam, Founder, side.

Renaissance Christian Counseling Center

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woman’s perspective Happy New Year beautiful! Yes I am speaking to you my sister. Look at you. You’ve made it through another year and you are just as remarkable and exquisite as ever. Nothing that you were worried about, no trial, no situation took you out last year. But instead you’ve made it into 2017 stronger, better and wiser. It’s time for you to celebrate yourself. How often do really stop to smell the roses or appreciate our own wins? So often we are focused on our responsibilities, concerns, worries, goals or cheerleading for others. Too many of us don’t take enough time to celebrate what we have accomplished and what we have allowed God to do through us. Today I want to celebrate you my sister! You’ve endured. Sometimes I don’t even know why the enemy bothers bringing trials our way. Hasn’t he observed that when daughters of the king go through situations, we come out with more wisdom, more gratitude, more direction, more compassion, more strength and more love for God? You think by now he would have gotten the hint. But nope, he continues to persist. In 2016 you experienced great trials, great difficulties; the weapons formed but they did not prosper. And no matter how much you felt as if you wouldn’t make it through, YOU DID! That is something to celebrate my sister. There are people who went through less than you but did not endure. Give God the glory and praise that is due Him; but be sure to celebrate yourself for sticking with the process and allowing yourself to see the victory. It was no easy feat I’m sure, but nonetheless you did it. Having done all to stand you are still standing and you have not quit. “Quitters never win and winners never quit.” You’ve heard this before but I bet you are realizing in this moment that this applies to you. You are the winner! Because you have refused to quit, you are the winner. Because you continue to endure through hard trials like a good soldier, you are more than a conqueror! Your heart is still beating. “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” This phrase is true, but it is only true if we allow it to be. It’s one thing to come through a trial physically; it is another thing entirely to come through emotionally and spiritually. It is a choice to become better and not bitter, it does not happen automatically. How many of us know people who have gone through situations and come out sour instead of stronger? But look at you! You have come through another year filled with ups and downs and your heart has made it through as well. You are still loving and pursuing God passionately; and you are still loving people generously and compassionately. It is no small thing to be able to walk through the valley with your heart unscathed by the contaminants of anger, fear, bitterness, unforgiveness and more that are so prevalent. Through the power of God you have managed to do it. That divorce didn’t keep you from believing in love. That miscarriage didn’t destroy your hope of motherhood. That job loss didn’t dim the dreams of your ideal career. That lost loved one didn’t deter your affection from God. You continued to worship God in spirit and in truth. You continued to love Him with your whole heart, mind, and strength; and He has kept you in perfect peace. Sounds to me like a call for celebration my sister. I want to challenge and encourage you throughout this year to take note of the victories and wins you experience. Often times the enemy will discourage us when we are in a trial and cause us to forgot all the wonderful things that God has done in us. Write them down your wins my sister. Many of you may already journal. For those of you who don’t, I strongly encourage you to consider journaling in some form so that you have a written record to reference in your tough times. It will lift your heart to remember all of the celebratory moments that have already occurred. I believe great things are in store for you for 2017! Don’t miss them. Don’t be so focused on goal chasing that you miss the wins. And as those wins happen, take a moment to celebrate yourself. You deserve it! 24 January 2017 | Grace&Glory

Tiffany Bethea She-EO Life Mentor www.Tiffanybethea.com

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single life

As we embark upon a New Year I want to encourage you to release the past relationships that didn’t work, the hurt, the failures, the fear, the guilt, the anger and the worry. You can’t start the new chapter of your life if you are going to keep re-reading the last one. I know this to be true because I had to walk this out for myself. After my marriage ended and I went through my divorce I held onto the hurt, the guilt, the fear of trusting people, and so much more. I stopped living life and I just existed. I put a smile on my face to hide the pain in my heart. Sometimes the pain hurt so much that all I could do was cry out to God for His peace. God heard my cry and day by day I was able to release more of the pain until one day the pain was gone. It was the peace of God that gave me a sound mind and contentment in my current situation of being single again. God let me know that everything would be okay if I trusted him. I had to forgive myself first and then my ex-husband. The word tells us in Matthew 6:14-15 (MSG), “In prayer, there is a connection between what God does and what you do.” You can’t get forgiveness from God, for instance, without also forgiving others. If you refuse to do your part, you cut yourself off from God’s part. If you are holding on to the things from your past then your heart and your mind are not open to receive the blessings that God has for your future. When we release something we let it go in favor of something else and when we receive something we come into possession of it. God truly desires to give you His peace, love, joy and blessings. But you have to release in order to open yourself up to receive His peace, love, joy and blessings; when you forgive,

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release the hurt, the fear, the guilt, etc. We have to understand that God will use everything in our past to build us up so that we are stronger and equipped for the next leg of the journey. Scripture tells us in Romans 8:28 (AMP), “And we know [with great confidence] that God [who is deeply concerned about us] causes all things to work together [as a plan] for good for those who love God, to those who are called according to His plan and purpose.” I want to remind you that God has more in store for you in the year to come. In order to receive what He has for you, there are some things that you MUST release. There were times last year that you felt all alone but remember that Emmanuel (God with us) is always by your side. Though things and people around us shift and change, our God never changes. Have a blessed, safe and prosperous New Year! A Prayer for the New Year Lord, whether we’re leaving behind a year of joy and blessings or trials and difficulties, we pause to give thanks. We thank you that you are always with us every single day of every single year. Please remind us of your presence in the year ahead when life gets busy. Help us to continue to forgive others so you can forgive us. Teach us to love like you love. We are so thankful that we serve a God who makes things new and gives us the grace of fresh starts and new beginnings. Be glorified in our lives this year as we seek to do your will. Remind us that all that we go through will be for our good but ultimately for Tyniece your Glory. In Jesus’ name Amen! Pack

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bookshelf

Book Shelf A Call to Prayer

By Germaine Copeland Happy New Year! With every NEW Year comes NEW commitments. What better commitment for this year than a commitment or recommitment to prayer. I read a book a little while back that, in light of everything that has happened in our nation and across the world in this past year, I decided to reread. This month’s recommendation is A Call to Prayer by Germaine Copeland. This is a teaching book. Germaine Copeland teaches you about prayer, about the importance of prayer, about the power and effectiveness of prayer, and about how to pray. This book is full of Scriptures, which in my opinion a book of prayer should be full of, that both lay the foundation of prayer as well as the building blocks that go on top. Germaine Copeland challenges the church by saying, “The time has come for the entire church to answer the call to prayer-those in the fivefold ministry and church members alike. We do not need any more divisions, but instead, 28 January 2017 | Grace&Glory

by Brandie Manigault

harmony and agreement, which will only come about if we pray scripturally as led by the Spirit.” She also addresses pastors dealing with intercessors, intercessors dealing with their pastors, and group members of an intercessory team. This book also points out something that most people don’t like to think about because it spotlights areas of their life that might not line all the way up… conditions to prayer –

forgiveness, abiding in Christ, and praying the Lord’s will and not selfish desires. A Call to Prayer highlights your motives for prayer and help you to pray correctly and with maximum effectiveness. A Call to Prayer is a little hard to find because it is an older book. I found it on Amazon.com for $3.99. It is definitely worth the search. There is no specific audience that I can recommend this book for. Prayer has no age limit, gender specification or cultural borders. It is for everyone. So, in my opinion, A Call to Prayer by Germaine Copeland was written for everyone.

About The Author

Germaine Copeland

Germaine Copeland, founder of Word Ministries (WMI), is a writer and inspirational speaker. As she speaks, people are encouraged by her insight on praying effectively; many experience emotional healing, and learn the dividing line of soulish and spiritual praying. Germaine’s vision for Word Ministries (WMI) is to coordinate a Global intercessory prayer network that covers every nation, tribe, people and language with prayers that avail much. Germaine travels nationally and internationally conducting prayer schools, speaking at churches, conferences, and other groups. Germaine is an Executive Network Member of International Breakthrough Ministries (IbM), and a member of Deborah Company. Germaine is the author of A Global Call to Prayer, the Prayers That Avail Much book series, 365 Days to a Prayer-Filled Life, and Prayers That Avail Much for Daily Living (Charisma House). She is also a contributing author of Women’s Destiny Bible (Thomas Nelson) and Impart Magazine. Germaine and her husband, Everette, have four adult children, eleven grandchildren and eleven great-grandchildren. They reside in Greensboro, Georgia.

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education digest I am always amazed every time I come across notes I’ve written in one of my earlier prayer and praise journals. They remind me of times, places, challenges, and victories. Journaling is a discipline I’ve neglected over the past few years. That said, I’m now inspired to pick up pen and paper and once again begin documenting those things which are closest to my heart. I’m inspired by the writings of the prophet Habakkuk. He instructs his readers to write out the very things God has placed on their hearts. As we prepare to experience a new year, I want to encourage you to put your inner thoughts onto paper. It’s important to begin with a personal vision, that is, where and what do I expect God to do in and through me. I contend that we’re all guilty of sharing verbally our plans and proclamations for a new year, but we fail to write them down. I’ll be the first to admit, I often fall short when it comes to following up on the very things I’ve written down. I’ve come to realize that the vision within itself has less to do with me, instead my words are directed toward those who’ll read what I’ve written. I tend to spend considerably more time reflecting on the actual journey and the blessings of previous years; those times and places God has directed my path. Mind you, my journey has been one filled with blessings beyond my own imagination. They are blessings I didn’t deserve. Even so, God has been faithful. The latter part of the above mentioned scripture passage instructs the reader to write down the vision, make it plain so that those who receive the vision can run, that is to carry it forth. My motive for journaling was to leave a record for future generations to read and reflect upon; namely my children and grandchildren. However, as of late, I’ve missed plenty 30 January January2017 2017||Grace&Glory Grace&Glory 30

of opportunities to document the blessings of the Lord in my here and now. As I encourage you to put your thoughts and deepest heart moments on paper, I am motivated to practice what I’ve been preaching. Here’s just one example of how I witnessed a mighty move of God’s blessings based on what I shared on paper. The year was 1999 and my oldest daughter had chosen the college of her choice. I found myself in a real life dilemma. I was reminded that college was not without cost, in other words, it was not free. It was at that point I began to pray and share my heart on paper along with passionate prayer about how me and my wife would pay for her educational career. It went something like this, “God, we don’t have any money for college. What are we going to do? Help us.” We were not sharing with God anything he didn’t already know. Needless to say, God really blessed us. He made provisions for both of our daughters and our son for college. To this day, I am filled with joy every time I read those precious notes and prayers recorded in my journal and celebrate God’s goodness. At this moment, I am once again officially picking up my journal and putting in writing God’s vision for my life. Dr. Tim Tooten, Sr. is an EmmyAward winning Education Reporter for WBAL-TV (NBC) In Baltimore, Maryland. He is also the pastor and founder of Harvest Christian Ministries in Baltimore County, Maryland.

Dr. Tim Tooten, Sr.

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nutrition & you

HAPPY AND HEALTHY

2017

8 Weeks to a Healthier You in the New Year What New Year’s goals did you make when the ball dropped at midnight on December 31? If you resolved to improve your health during the upcoming year, you’re more likely to succeed if you gradually make healthy changes. Over the next few days, keep a food journal to help you identify areas that need improvement. Keeping a food journal helps you pinpoint By Herline A. your eating pattern and will enable you Knights, RD, LD to easily modify it. If possible, have your Registered Dietitian review your journal. Starting on January 1, follow this 8-week program to a healthier you. Week 1 Eat a healthy breakfast every day. Many people often skip breakfast. Some skip it because they are often rushed in the morning and have little time to prepare. Some people skip breakfast as a measure to control their weight. Studies have shown that breakfast eaters have a higher metabolism and are more successful in work and school than those who skip that meal. Oftentimes, skipping a meal results in an increased total caloric intake, than if we just ate more frequently throughout the course of the day. Week 2 Drinking more water instead of soda, juice, sweet tea, coffee or other sugar-sweetened beverages drinks saves calories. Even the zero-calorie diet soda offers no nutritional value- it’s just water with added artificial sweeteners and caffeine. Carrying a bottle of water with you will encourage you to sip it instead of reaching for sweetened beverages. Week 3 Practice portion control. Check the serving size on the nutrition facts panel and use the correct measuring utensils to get an idea of what a serving looks like. For example, one serving of pasta means ½ cup of cooked pasta. However, most restaurants serve a pasta dish with 3-4 servings of pasta. You do not need to finish and clean off the plate every time. You can simply ask for a take-out container and take home the leftovers. Week 4 Eat at least 5 servings of fruits and vegetables per day. Keep a bowl of fresh fruit on the kitchen counter and stock your refrigerator with baby carrots, celery slices, raw broccoli, and ready-to-eat salads. Fruits and vegetables are packed with beneficial fibers, vitamins, and antioxidants. They fill up your stomach fast so you feel full earlier. They are also low in calories and help to keep your calories count low. Week of January 31-February 6 Make the switch to lowfat dairy products to reduce your intake of artery-clogging 32 32 January January 2017 2017 || Grace&Glory Grace&Glory

saturated fat. Try 1% or skim milk, nonfat yogurt, reduced fat cheeses, fat-free sour cream, and low-fat ice cream. For healthy bones and teeth, aim to have 3 servings a day. Week 6 Boost fiber intake by eating whole grain foods and beans. It’s an easy way to lower your risk of heart disease, diabetes, cancer, and obesity. Make half your grains whole. Eat at least 3 ounces of whole grain cereal, breads, crackers, rice, or pasta every day. One ounce is about 1 slice of bread, 1 cup of breakfast cereal, or ½ cup of cooked rice or pasta. Look to see that grains such as wheat, rice, oats, or corn are referred to as “whole” near the beginning of the list of ingredients. Week 7 Know your fats. Look for foods low in saturated fats, Trans fat, and cholesterol to help reduce the risk of heart disease. Most of the fats you eat should be polyunsaturated and monounsaturated fats. Keep your total fat intake between 20% and 30% of calories. Sprinkle flaxseeds on yogurt, cereal, and casseroles, and eat seafood twice a week. Instead of snacking on chips, and cookies, munch on a healthy trail mix made with nuts, dried fruit, and low-fat popcorn. Limit fried foods to one or fewer servings per week, and use olive oil or canola oil when cooking and baking. Week 8 Reduce sodium (salt) intake for a healthier heart. Research shows that eating less than 2,300 milligrams of sodium (about 1 tsp. of salt) per day may reduce the risk of high blood pressure. Most of the sodium that people eat comes from processed foods, not from the saltshaker. Look for low- sodium canned soups and vegetables, and limit salty snacks. Enjoy fresh meats and produce, and flavor with herbs and spices. Finally, it is very important to find your balance between food and physical activity. Becoming a healthier you isn’t just about eating healthy; it’s also about physical activity. Regular physical activity is important for your overall health and fitness. It also helps you control body weight by balancing the calories you take in as food with calories you expand each day. The centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), along with the American College of Sports Medicine, recommends adults get at least 30 minutes of moderately intensive physical activity daily. For instance, walking at a moderate pace for 30-60 minutes most days of the week will help you maintain aerobic fitness and decrease your risk for heart disease. It will also keep muscles flexible, reduce stress, and help prevent osteoporosis. Healthy Eating Guidelines are intended to promote overall health while reducing the risk of developing nutrition-related diseases like cancer and heart disease. They are directed at all healthy individuals over the age of 14. There is nothing difficult about healthy eating. It is simply a common-sense approach to food that is easy to live with, once you get used to it. Have a happy & healthy New Year!

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body basics

Easy Exercises You Can Do Sitting Down

Tone muscles and increase flexibility at work or at home with these safe and simple chair exercises.

upper body to the right. Inhale and twist back to center. Then repeat to the left. Work up to 3 sets of 20 alternating reps.

Got a chair? Then you're ready for this sitdown, total-body workout! Tone and strengthen with the first five exercises from personal trainer Jessica Smith, a certified wellness coach and coauthor of The Thin in 10 Weight Loss Plan. To alleviate aches and pains, try the final three exercises from Tracey Porter, a personal trainer, certified sports nutritionist, and student of the posture therapy method, Egoscue.

Seated Leg Extensions To strengthen the thigh and hip muscles, you need only extend your leg. Sit on the edge of your chair with your arms by your sides. Extend your right leg out straight and flex your foot so that just the right heel is on the floor. Lift your leg up as high as you can without rounding your back. Keeping your foot flexed engages the muscles in the shins and ankle. Hold for three counts and then lower. Work up to 3 sets of 10 reps on each leg.

Safety precaution: Pay attention to your body during the movements — if anything hurts or causes pain, stop immediately. And check with your doctor first before beginning this, or any, exercise program. ************** Posture Check Simply sitting up straight in a chair tones a variety of muscles in your torso. Turn straight posture into an exercise by pressing your knees together to engage your inner thighs, squeezing your buttocks, sitting tall, and pulling in your belly button (abdominals) toward your spine. It's important to press your shoulders back and down and to keep your neck neutral, while doing this exercise. Try to maintain this posture as long as you can while sitting. Seated Jumping Jacks Get in a little cardio, without any impact on your joints, by doing modified, seated jumping jacks. While sitting on the edge of your chair, open and close your arms and legs as you would during a normal jumping jack, and move your limbs, as quickly as you can, in and out. Start slowly and work up to 3 sets of 20 reps. Abs Twister Not only do strong abdominal muscles make you look great in clothes, they also help stabilize your torso, which reduces aches and pains in your lower back and hips. Sit tall on the edge of your chair and cross your arms over your chest. Inhale and squeeze (flex) your abdominal muscles lightly. Without relaxing your stomach muscles, exhale slowly, squeezing your abs in tighter and turning your 34 January 2017 | Grace&Glory

Seated Press-Ups Engage your shoulder and triceps muscles with this joint-friendly move. Sit on the edge of your chair with your arms by your sides, palms over the edge of your seat. Press down with your arms as if you were going to try to lift yourself off the chair (you don't have to lift up). Hold for three counts and then release. Work up to 3 sets of 10 reps. Work Out with a Water Bottle People who sit hunched at desks all day often develop pain in their back, shoulders, and neck. To alleviate pain, Porter recommends a series of three exercises done in a chair, using a plastic water bottle. To get into position, sit halfway off your chair keeping your back straight and shoulders down and pulled back. Place a plastic water bottle between your knees, lining up your ankle with your knee, so that your thighs and calves are at a 90-degree angle. Make sure your feet are about 4 inches apart. Turn this into an exercise for your thighs by squeezing the water bottle 30 times. Sitting Elbow Curls To open up your chest and shoulder muscles, try these elbow curls. Raise your arms at your sides and bend your elbows, so that your knuckles are at your temples. Bring your elbows together and then all the way back to the starting position at moderate speed about 30 times. Arm Circles Increase flexibility and improve posture with gentle arm circles.

Raise your arms straight out to your sides and press your shoulder blades together. Extend arms with palms down, thumbs facing forward, and do 20 forward circles with your arms. Then flip your palms up, thumbs facing behind you, and do 20 backward circles with your arms. Smith says doing each of the previous exercises 3 to 4 days a week will have you seeing results, but there's also no downside to doing them daily. www.grandparents.com

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gospel industry news

Gospel Industry News Ricky Dillard

By Ericka J.

MLK WEEKEND ALL ROADS LEAD TO THE DMV! It's the 10th LIVE Recording of Ricky Dillard & New G! They never cease to give us great choir music and they keep choir music alive and relevant in this ever changing world of gospel music, consistently energetic, innovative, and impactful in their delivery of gospel music, spreading good news. On January 16, 2017, Ebenezer AME in Fort Washington, MD is where you wanna be! For tickets and info www.eventbrite.com.

Shirley Caesar From her latest chart topping album release, to earning her star on Hollywood's Walk Of Fame, to her classic song "Hold My Mule" breaking social media records with the "You Name It" challenge going viral ultimately re-charting and bringing that song back to Billboards Top 5, and now being honored at this year’s Grammy Awards with the Lifetime Achievement Award, Pastor Shirley, Aunt Shirley, is killing the game. This has been a HUGE year for her, continuing to raise the bar, and setting the standard for music even in her Golden Jubilee Years!

Travis Greene Before hitting the road for the Worship Tour with his brother in music Jonathan McReynolds and Anthony Brown, Travis Greene is heading to Nashville, TN, next month to do his live recording February 1st & 2nd. I'm anticipating more great music from him. "You Made A Way" is #1 on Billboard Charts and has been atop the charts since its release. This has been a great year for him with 9 Stellar Nominations, a Grammy Nomination, a new addition to his family a baby boy, and he started his church, yep he's a new pastor!

Sheilah Belle Sheilah has worked in radio for over 25 years, she started out at Clear Channel (now iHeart), before being hired at Radio One to host a huge mid-day gospel radio show in Richmond, VA on Praise 104.7. I've had the pleasure of working with her the past 5 years on the Candlelight Holiday Hope Of Remembrance Celebration, she has always been the event Host/MC and this year she wasn't able to participate in the event due to her battling cancer. I later found out that gospel artist Jekalyn Carr has launched a support movement for her, a petition for artists, announcers, program directors, media partners, and well-wishers to send financial contributions to help with Ms. Belle’s medical expenses. You can make donations through her PayPal thebelle@thegospeltimes.com or via mail PO Box 14618, Richmond, VA. 23221. 38 January March 2017 2014 38 38 January 2017| |Grace&Glory Grace&Glory

gospel industry news Cheryl Fortune Cheryl is gearing up to release her debut single and embark on a solo career. If you don't know her by name, you have absolutely heard her voice and enjoyed music she has penned. As an artist and songwriter in her own right, she has penned many songs for not only her former husband, James Fortune but several others. Her background vocals can be heard on so many projects with various artists, including Kirk Franklin, Shirley Caesar, Bishop TD Jakes, Zacardi Cortez, and Issac Caree. She's paid her dues, and is on her way! Her debut single is titled "Fighters" hitting radio this month. She wants to help other battered and broken women to overcome and survive abuse, cancer, any situation or circumstance.

Miami Mass Choir It’s been 15 years, but they are back, under the directorship of Pastor Marc Cooper. The title of the project is Miami Mass Choir LIVE: At the Adrienne Arsht Center, this project features soul singer Betty Wright, Beverly Crawford, Zacardi Cortez, and Tony LeBron. The single that's been released to radio "Lord of Everything" is doing well on Billboard.

Deleon Carr As a member of Ricky Dillard & New G it’s no surprise that Deleon Carr would set out to spread the gospel his own way. Taking nothing from Ricky Dillard & New G as the devoted, committed tenor he is, Deleon has released a new single "I Believe" written by E. Hall and produced by Teddy P and Baltimore's Own Morgan Turner. The EP is due to be released this year STAY TUNED!

Top 5

Gospel Songs

1. Made A Way......................................Travis Greene 2. U Deserve It............ JJ Hairston & Youthful Praise 3. You're Bigger..................................... Jekalyn Carr 4. God Provides.................................... Tamela Mann 5. Hold My Mule................................. Shirley Caesar

Top 5

Gospel Albums

#1 Losing My Religion......................Kirk Franklin #2 One Way........................................Tamela Mann #3 Trust The Lord: What A Legacy Since 1960 Clay Evans & The Ship #4 WOW Gospel 2016 #5 A Kenny Lattimore Christmas

The Grammys Shout Out to all the 59th Grammy Award Nominees, Hezekiah Walker, Kirk Franklin, Travis Greene, Jekalyn Carr, Todd Dulaney, Tim Bowman Jr., Shirley Caesar, William Murphy, and Tamela Mann. Being nominated for a Grammy is major so you all are already winners! Welcome to 2017! I'm in expectation of the promises God has made us! God is going to find a way to do just what He promised us! Hold On! Declare with Me "Living My Dreams in 2017, Walking In Divine Manifestation!" Til next month check out my weekly industry news radio segment "IN With Miss Ericka J" on iHeart Radio, Heaven 600, www.heaven600.com, and 102.7 HD2. Follow me on twitter, www.twitter.com @MissEricka J, facebook www.facebook.com/ErickaJohnson,or via email missericka75@yahoo.com www.gracenglorymagazine.org 39 39 www.gracenglorymagazine.org

word of encouragement

Listen carefully, I am about to do a new thing, now it will spring forth; will you not be aware of it? I will even put a road in the wilderness, rivers in the desert. [Isaiah 43:19 (AMP)] Therefore, if anyone is in Christ [that is, grafted in, joined to Him by faith in Him as Savior], he is a new creature [reborn and renewed by the Holy Spirit]; the old things [the previous moral and spiritual condition] have passed away. Behold, new things have come [because spiritual awakening brings a new life]. [2 Corinthians 5:17 (AMP)] The meaning of “NEW” is – not existing before, not made before, not introduced and discovered for the first time. Welcome to 2017 – the year of great excitement and anticipation in the Body of Christ. A year that we have never seen before and will never see again. We are looking at a year in which we consistently begin to do great exploits on God’s behalf. When God spoke in Isaiah 43:19, He was not specifically speaking about 2017, He was speaking about what He is doing in the lives of His creation. Notice, He is no longer about to do it – He is doing it in our very midst. All we need to do is open our spirit eyes and detect what is going on. In 2017 it will spring forth the more. Yes, we are aware of it because the Body of Christ is gathering in their various ministries discussing the newness of 2017. We are new creatures in Christ therefore we are constantly allowing the old things to pass away. Some of us in 2016 took quite a beating. Some had a good year while others still had an extremely great year. Still others received “some suddenlies”, in which God showed up and showed out above and beyond their comprehension. Some of us couldn’t wait for the year to end. We lost some loved ones and we welcomed new ones in our families. Both in our biological as well as our church families. For sure all of us experienced God’s glory in our lives whether it was early discovery of a terminal disease, buying a house, starting a ministry, etc. As we mourned those who died, those who suddenly dropped off in our lives, those who got married, started ministries and the list goes on, we move forward triumphantly in Christ. Faced with this New Year, it is for us to make some big decisions. Are we going to take the step and get married, buy a house, take a two-week vacation, start our ministry, etc.? However, we are in 2017, the year of our Lord and have been given a clean slate to start 2017; 2017 will be a critical year. We are starting it with a new president. We were under Democratic rule for the last eight years and some of us complained about the African America president, while others went to the extreme to find out whether President Barack Obama was a citizen or not. Some complained about Obamacare, while others looked for any minute thing 40 January January 2017 2017 || Grace&Glory Grace&Glory 40

to attack President Barack Obama. With a new you – you are going to have to make some changes also. Who and what is your priority this New Year? Or do you even want to say to yourself, “I want to do things differently this year? I want to be new in my approach towards others, in the way I conduct business, how I spend money, and how I conduct myself in the relationships in my life.” We turn our heads to a new presidency and what are we looking forward to expect? Some are crying “gloom and doom”. While others are hailing this new president as the savior of America and the free world. Only time will tell. You can decide and you certainly have the privilege of saying, “I am not going to adjust to this new presidency, I will rebel.” Well that is certainly new for you considering you accepted almost all the things that happened in the last eight years. You made some changes, some adjustments, but basically you were coasting during the last eight years. In 2017, the new you is going to have to do some more research, listen clearly, and answer cleverly to things that will be said to you. God has never changed the assignment on your life. There may be new timing, new relationships, and new goals, however, don’t allow the newness of 2017 to wear off. Begin to do the things expected of you in the God way. New surprises and new challenges will greet you this New Year. Know for a fact that God has equipped you to rise to every situation and circumstance that beckons you. You are a Designer’s Original, destined to do great and exciting things directly from the Throne Room of God on His behalf. I encourage you to look at yourself in the mirror and make a commitment to yourself to stomp the runway of life, knowing that God has you covered in and through the Blood of Jesus. Pray with me: Father, in the name of Jesus, I thank You for bringing me to a New Year. I understand fully that even though I am a new creature in Christ Jesus, if I don’t make some moves on Your behalf there are things that will not be accomplished through me for You. I decree and declare that I will stand steadfast, immovable as I work the works that You have called and ordained for me to do in 2017, amen. May 2017 be the year you are perceiving it to be. Know your God-given potential and become the trailblazer that God has called and ordained for you to be. Donna Best wishes from Prophetess Donna “Royalty” Royalty Ross Ross and In Trust Ministries. In Trust Ministries dwilliamsross@aol.com

it's sad to say, but incest and molestation are under the radar or under the rug. It is hidden so well in families. Mothers have literally told children to their faces “you are lying” when the child complains or confronts that mother about a father’s touch or a stepfather’s funny embrace. Children have gotten beatings or were told “it was your fault” when they go to that grandparent seeking help for something that was done to her/him that they don’t understand. The truth of the matter is when children are told to shut up, they shut up on the outside, but on the inside those children are still carrying the scars, the hurts, the words spoken, and the unbelief when they tell someone older. We are seeing that hiding the things that goes on in families behind closed doors are spilling over into everyday lives. Our children are dealing with perversions as the baby boomer generations look at them never stopping for a moment to think of where or what did I do wrong that has my children living this lifestyle. Perhaps the shame and guilt that is felt among those being molested or dealing with incest are embarrassed to talk about it. Incest has been happening since biblical days. Read Genesis 19:3236 and Leviticus 18:6. Today incest and molestation is well hidden and not confronted. So, what does God do? How does God handle it? He sends people like myself who are very concerned about the cover-up and

are willing to speak about it openly. So, that is where I come in. I am willing to talk about our sexual abuse, sex offenders, pedophiles and so many others who are on the down low about sexual predators. When you have relatives, who have been molested and you see the devastation happening in their lives you know that you have a take a stand. No longer can we hide it under the rug. As a matter of fact, the rug is very high with hidden things done in homes and the radar is becoming unraveled. Keep in mind that so many of these predators have been abused themselves and feel no remorse for what they are doing to others. It is said that “abusers become abuses”. It is certainly the case with some of the people I have interacted with who have been flippant in what they have done sexually to others. You see them in the street, you interact with them at work. They are your commanders-in-chief. They are your doctors, attorneys, construction works, etc. You may ask, “What does incest and molestation look like?” It looks like your average person. Sometimes you see the rage and anger but don’t understand where it came from or where it is going. Understand that the devil does his best work in covered up stuff. He likes when mothers, fathers, uncles, aunts and children keep what has happened to them undercover. Man, woman, boy or girl do not be ashamed or feel guilty and not tell anyone; your voice could be the voice that stops the next sex predator, pedophile, etc., please get help. If you look at your life you will see that some of the things you've gone through and experienced are for the glory and honor of God; whether it be physical, mental, sexual or verbal abuse. The Holy Spirit told me years ago that at the age of trauma that’s where that person stops growing mentally. In other words, at the age when any of us realize that we can no longer protect ourselves from the physical abuse, verbal, mental and even sexual abuse, that is the time that person stops growing mentally. Hence today we see lots of adults acting like children when placed in certain situations; they are still children in that area. I urge you to tell someone, please don’t keep it to yourself. You need to release yourself and then be able to bring someone who is stuck where you were out of that bondage. Please feel free to check out and order my book From Disgrace to Grace, from Grace to God’s Glory on Amazon or my website donnaroyaltyross.org. Again, don’t stay in that place where you feel stuck, because God wants to do great things in your life. www.gracenglorymagazine.org 41

man talk

RECONCILIATION:

THE RESTORATION OF RELATIONSHIPS

Fundamentally, humans are relational beings. For this reason, from a Biblical (Genesis 2:18) and psychological perspective, it is both unhealthy and unnatural for people to be alone. In fact, Abraham Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs suggests that the Need for Love and Belongingness is universal to the human condition. Despite occasionally craving moments of solitude away from everyone and everything, central to our existence is a yearning to be included, loved, valued, and accepted by others. As young children develop their social skills by learning to share, take turns, and eventually appreciate perspectives that are different than their own, regardless of our developmental maturity, we will always be faced with the challenging task of negotiating and nurturing relationships. Having embarked upon a New Year, as much as I would like to offer you a pep talk that is filled with guarantees of better days ahead, I don’t have any magical antidotes to tickle your emotions. Even as the contemporary presentation of the Gospel often includes motifs that are centered on the restoration of material things, although there is nothing inherently wrong with this idea, have we neglected reconciliation: the restoration of broken relationships? In looking closer this month, let’s consider what it means to reconcile: to restore friendly relations between or to settle [a disagreement]. And despite knowing that we should live peaceably amongst our sisters and brothers (Matthew 5:9; Hebrews 12:14), let’s also examine a few hindrances to reconciliation.

HINDRANCE #1: PRIDE

Pride, in the words of Bishop Norman Lyons, is preoccupation with I and my. Especially as men, whether we admit it or not, we are overly concerned with our image and the manner in which others perceive us. But while pride is not always a liability, it becomes costly when it gets in the way of doing what we know is pleasing to God. Pride obstructs reconciliation when our actions are inconsistent with humility and grace in order to uphold a façade of how we want to be viewed by others. While the truth of God’s word says that we need to be reconciled to one another, pride responds with does this make me look weak? While truth says that reconciliation is necessary, pride makes excuses to avoid this very important work.

HINDRANCE #2: FEAR

As men, we have been conditioned to be fearless. And if not fearless, we have been reinforced for not letting others know that we, at times, are afraid. As a man and as a psychologist, such thinking is both antiquated and counterproductive. Contrary to what many might believe, fear is not synonymous with weakness and it certainly is not the antithesis of masculinity and manhood. Concerning reconciliation, fear asks how will others respond to my attempts for reconciliation? Or, do they even want to be reconciled to me? Despite being based in a legitimate human emotion, fear that gives way to excessive nervousness, worry, and anxiety can become a paralyzing force that works in opposition to reconciliation.

HINDRANCE #3: HURT

Regardless of what you’ve been told as a man, or about men, we hurt. In fact, because men have feelings like everyone else, we are susceptible to being hurt,

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especially by those whom we care about the most. So, what happens when men have been hurt by their friends, employers, wives, significant others, and even their children? Almost instinctively, we retreat in order to protect ourselves from further hurt and disappointment. And while this defense mechanism is understandable, at least to some degree, hurt feelings can develop into a hardened heart that is not open to reconciliation. Like each of the hindrances, knowing whether or not hurt is preventing us from being reconciled to others is unique to the individual. For this reason, we must remain open to the Holy Spirit who, if we are listening, will helps us to grow beyond the pain, which ultimately is necessary for reconciliation.

HINDRANCE #4: PATIENCE

Like other things in our lives, we want reconciliation to happen immediately. Unfortunately, because reconciliation almost always involves forgiveness, it is a process that takes time. In fact, because the place in which we find ourselves that makes reconciliation necessary likely didn’t happen overnight, the restoration of broken relationships will inevitably require patience.

HINDRANCE #5: VULNERABILITY

Perhaps one of the most frustrating aspects of reconciliation is the realization that we are not responsible for other people’s decisions. Said another way, reconciliation is challenging because of the myriad unknown variables that are associated with being vulnerable. For example, after we apologize or share how certain situations were hurtful, how will others respond to such transparency? Perhaps as a combination of pride, fear, and hurt, the reluctance to being vulnerable is rooted in the following: Is this going to work? Will my attempts at reconciliation be received? How will I look after I bare my innermost feelings about things that hurt me? But because we cannot control others’ actions, we also cannot allow ourselves to not be vulnerable at the expense of actively pursuing reconciliation. As we begin another year, I pray that we would recognize these five realities of reconciliation. And because grace is always greater, let’s allow it to work in and through us to actively pursue reconciliation. Peace and Blessings.

Dr. Charles Barrett

Dr. Charles Barrett is a school psychologist with Loudoun County Public Schools and Associate Professor of Psychology at Northern Virginia Community College.