GTW Jan/Feb 2017

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northern michigan’s network for women ◆ JAN/FEB '17

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Grand Traverse Woman

Grand Traverse

WOMAN2WOMAN WOMAN

BY KANDACE CHAPPLE & KERRY WINKLER

northern michigan’s magazine for women

Volume 14, No. 3 January/February 2017 Grand Traverse Woman P.O. Box 22 Interlochen, MI 49643 tel: 231.276.5105 www.grandtraversewoman.com BLOG: www.kandacechapple.com FACEBOOK: www.facebook.com/grandtraversewoman PUBLISHERS Kandace Chapple Kerry Winkler EDITOR Kandace Chapple, kandace@grandtraversewoman.com ACCOUNT DIRECTOR Kerry Winkler, kerry@grandtraversewoman.com ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES Deb Dent, deb@grandtraversewoman.com Sherry Galbraith, sherry@grandtraversewoman.com Lori Maki, lori@grandtraversewoman.com ASSISTANT EDITOR Lisa Maxbauer Price, lisam@grandtraversewoman.com

CHICAGO REPORT WE HAD an awesome Chicago trip in November. It was our 10th year. We had 160 women, 3 buses and 1 very, very old man on a dance floor. It was a weekend to remember, to say the least.

There we were, about 10 of us, all over age 40, on the dance floor of a nightclub filled with 20-somethings.

It was the Hangge Uppe, straight from the esteemed list of “Top 10 Dive Bars in Chicago.” It was about 1 a.m. and the place was packed shoulder to shoulder. We were weakening with age and just starting to make an exit back to our cozy hotel rooms and PJs… when he walked in.

Tweed suit, a wool cap, short, very short, and walking, precisely across the room.

Instantly, the floor opened up.

Without a word, a woman stepped up to dance with him.

He was a smooth operator. And the women were all begging to dance with him without his even saying a word.

With each lift of his hand, another dance partner appeared.

Of course, we were on this in an instant. We surrounded him with glee, egging-on the dancing. He slowly worked his way through the GTWoman ensemble and we got the lowdown: 92 years old, widowed and in control.

One of the gals in our group, Wendy, was in the midst of dancing for Swingshift and the Stars, and finding someone who actually knew the old dance steps was a Christmas miracle. She practiced all of her moves with him as long as she could. Which wasn’t very long. He did, after all, have a roomful of women to see to.

We affectionately nicknamed him Hugh (Heffner). We like to think he was reported missing from an assisted living facility nearby and was living the dream.

Next, there was our friend Peg, age 72. While Hugh was working the young ladies, Peg was breaking hearts left and right with the young men.

The combo of the two dancing with the younger generation was a total, total crowd pleaser.

Kerry, the last of the GTWoman gang to get a twirl, was a clear foot taller than Hugh. And, upon parting ways, he gave her a kiss that landed, shall we say, south of the target.

All in all, it was the perfect example of how something always, always happens when you’re on a trip with friends.

And, as we embark on a new year, we encourage you to plan a 2017 weekend with your best friend or a gaggle of girlfriends. We promise you won’t regret it. It’s a chance to relax, let go and goof off a little together.

Our next GTWoman Chicago trip is Nov. 10-12 and is already half full with brilliant women. Perhaps you’ll join us too! It’s a weekend you won’t ever forget. Especially if a 92-year-old Hugh Heffner wanders into it.

Happy New Year!

- Kandy & Kerry

COPY EDITOR Christine Kurtz DESIGNER Bethany Gulde, bethany@grandtraversewoman.com COVER PHOTO Leslie Hamp enjoys snowshoeing in Traverse City. See her story on page 6 and hear her speak at the Feb. 8th GTWoman Luncheon on “You 2.0!”

Beth Price Photography www.bethpricephotography.com PHOTOGRAPHERS Sarah Brown, Sarah Brown Photography www.sarahbrown-photography.com Scarlett Piedmonte, Photography by Scarlett www.photobyscarlett.com Beth Price, Beth Price Photography www.bethpricephotography.com ADMINISTRATIVE ASSISTANT Melissa Cole, melissa@grandtraversewoman.com CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Sue Adkins Tiffany Broering-Robbins Kim Burch Jenny Craig Cathy Fialon Leslie Hamp Samantha Hoffman Kristen Lowe Rachel Moger Donna Smith Syd Stewart Tammy Tarsa Catherine Veeser ADVERTISING Kerry Winkler at 231.276.5105 or kerry@grandtraversewoman.com Visit www.grandtraversewoman.com for rates.

SUBSCRIPTIONS To receive GTWoman at home, mail $20 (for 6 issues) to: Grand Traverse Woman, P.O. Box 22, Interlochen, MI 49643 ARTICLES/PRESS RELEASES Letters, inquiries, press releases and GTWoman In Business submissions are welcome.

See www.grandtraversewoman.com for guidelines.

MISSION STATEMENT Grand Traverse Woman is a bimonthly magazine dedicated to the interests of women in the five-county region. Our mission is to provide women with a publication that is educational and inspirational. We strive to maintain a positive, well-balanced and genuine forum for women's issues. (We also like funny stuff.) © Copyright 2017 Grand Traverse Woman LLC All rights reserved.

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Grand Traverse Woman

CREATIVITY, passion and connection are a BIG part of the WHY for my business and life. Over the past 20 years I’ve worked with women and men around the world to get their creative juices flowing and ensure they’re living their own juicy version. For them—as well as for me—diving into passion does the mind, body and soul good.

What is passion, anyway?

Passion is like your inner GPS. When you’re expressing it personally and professionally, you know you’re going in the right direction as you feel aligned and happy. But when you’re not expressing it, your inner GPS sends messages through your feelings. If you tune-in to those feelings, you know you’re in need of a new direction.

I experienced being way off course in 2010 when both my mother and father, who lived 500 miles away from me, were both diagnosed with terminal illnesses.

I became overwhelmed and exhausted from the travel, the caretaking and the end-of-life issues and my inner GPS was saying, “Let go. Let go. Now is not the time to be over-busy.”

And so I listened to that inner voice and let go.

Of everything. My successful coaching business. My clients from around the world. And a big part of my identity.

As I let go to focus on family and the gifts around me, I practiced a lot of Pilates, walked daily for some sweet relief and journaled like no tomorrow—about family, health, gratitude, exhaustion, confusion and overwhelming grief.

All these things helped. But old habits are hard to break. So, after the passing of my parents 11 months apart, I went back to my old ways. I returned to business coaching, but my mojo was missing. I just couldn’t seem to recapture the spark that always inspired me.

And without that spark, wow, I was really lost.

BETH PRICE PHOTOGRAPHY

Finding a new passion

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the power of a passion project

I stepped back and began visioning a new work/ life model that was more heart-centered, creative and in line with where I was at that stage of life. I went through extensive training to become a Licensed Passion Project Facilitator, and I started coaching in a new way.

It wasn’t always easy. In fact, it was confusing and painful at times. After all, it takes guts to look inside, to break patterns, to try something different. But I listened to that inner voice, trusted the process, and followed my energy. I paid close attention to what was giving me energy, what was taking it away, what I wanted as my ideal work/life balance. I was following the principals of my book, Create the Life You Crave.

Acting on that passion During that time of uncertainty and change, I had to trust the bigger picture that wanted to emerge. I had to feel the vulnerability. I had to have the courage to keep putting my ideas out there.

BY LESLIE HAMP

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Grand Traverse Woman

Out of that soul-searching came a new vision to lead workshops and retreats around passion and purpose and to add visual art, soulful exploration and an elemental approach to creating with Earth, Water, Air, Fire and Spirit as metaphors for the process.

As I’ve seen in dozens of workshops since, these tools set the stage for powerful learning, transformation, change and growth.

I couldn’t imagine it when I began searching for my own passion and purpose during those grief-filled days, but the work I do now is the juice I was missing.

Watching the creativity, passion and big leaps unfold in the 15 programs I’ve led with 275 Passion Projects birthed makes me feel alive again. It all became reality once I focused on my heart-centered vision and turned it into a Passion Project.

What is a Passion Project?

It’s a project that makes you come alive and gets you so excited you can’t hold back.

It’s likely something you’ve had in mind, had on the back burner, or have even been a bit afraid to voice. You know it’s your next step, and this is the time to explore it.

Maybe, like my client Jacque, you have a real talent to create gourmet cuisine and want to express that in your own business.

Or maybe, like Michaela, you have a real talent for photography or, like Karen, you love to make wedding dresses and want to express that in a freelance niche that allows you to work around your family’s schedule and with clients who light you up.

Perhaps you have a deeply held desire to share years of expertise through a non-profit or foundation.

Or maybe you have a message to share in Passion is like your inner a book or on the speaking circuit. It’s all up to you.

GPS. You know you’re

Advice

going in the right direction if you feel aligned and happy. But when you’re not, your inner GPS sends messages through your feelings. If you tune-in to those feelings, you know you’re in need of a new direction.

Giving yourself permission

Some of you may be wondering: Is my secret passion project too much to expect? Definitely not!

The motivation to step into an entrepreneurial venture, creative outlet or encore career is often driven by the desire for freedom, selfexpression and personal satisfaction. It comes from making a living doing something you love.

It’s all-around passion and purpose, and that’s the magic of a Passion Project.

The Passion Projects I’ve helped clients nurture still amaze me! A few examples: Ros laid the foundation to launch Little Big Bay Publishing Company; Monica created www.lifeisaprettyword.com to honor her deceased daughter; Kim designed a women’s retreat, Cathy developed content for her fitness book; Julie finished a best-selling book about her year-long paddling adventure from Wisconsin to Canada; Jill fine-tuned delivery of health coaching services; Kelly prepared for a half-marathon; Candi worked on mixed media collage workshops; Terry created a new case study for the college class she was teaching.

Finding your passion and purpose isn’t always clear and often includes a mixture of excitement and fear. But when you engage your passion, work around your fear and step into your truth in a new way, the magic unfolds.

What’s calling for your attention in this New Year? What would happen if you gave yourself permission to focus on a Passion Project? More than ever, our world needs you to be a positive force for good. My hope is that you share your passion and purpose and shine in a whole new way in 2017.

Leslie Hamp, Creative Catalyst & Licensed Passion Project Facilitator, works with women and men in transition. Some are empty nesters. Others are moving on from a career, business, relationship or lifestyle that’s no longer working for them and wondering, "What’s next?" Leslie’s coaching techniques and accountability systems help clients rejuvenate an old idea or add heart and soul to a fresh one. She is the author of Create the Life You Crave and its companion Beautiful Journal.

Learn more at www.lesliehamp.com or contact her at leslie@lesliehamp.com.

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LESLIE PAINTING AND DYEING SILK SCARVES AT INTERLOCHEN LAST SUMMER.

LESLIE “TOODLING" IN HER TEARDROP CAMPER—HER HOME AWAY FROM HOME.

Grand Traverse Woman 2017

LUNCHEONS GET READY TO LAUNCH “YOU 2.0”!

If you’re ready to make a change and take things to the next level at work or at home, you don’t want to miss our best luncheon ever! Join us for lunch Feb. 8th when Leslie will share 4 tips for making it happen.

Visit www.grandtraversewoman.com for tickets and vendor booth info!

Jan/Feb '17

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Grand Traverse Woman

Grand Traverse Photos by Casey Marie Photographie

WOMAN

It was a TAILGATE PARTY for our Nov. 11th Network Nite at Incredible Mo’s. We had a full house and a full spread of food and drink from Sauce.

Plus an amazing “grill out” cake by Aunt B’s that looked too real to eat!

Highlights from the night: Precision Plumbing and Heating presented a $1,000 check to the Traverse Bay Children’s Advocacy Center. Image360 rocked it out with matching team jerseys, Credit Union One brought lots of laughter to the mic and great prizes were provided by all of our sponsors including GT Resort & Spa, TV 7&4, Z93 and Deerhaven Family Dentistry. Thank you all for coming out for a great night with a fun theme!

GTWOMAN NETWORK NITE

Wednesday, Jan. 11, Image360, 5–7pm HOT COCOA, WINE, CHOCOLATE & PJs

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Wear your favorite PJs or fuzzy slippers.

Networking, laughter and friendships included.

Get your tickets at www.grandtraversewoman.com.

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Grand Traverse Woman

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Stats for Northern Michigan show 35% of the real estate business is done in the winter months and the market is starving for inventory. And, according to the laws of supply in demand, the price of your home could be driven down if you wait to list it when everybody else does; in the spring when supply is high. So if you are considering selling, now is the right time!

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Jan/Feb '17

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Grand Traverse Woman

Live more, Worry less After losing her mother, she had to rebuild her life

BY JENNY CRAIG

JENNY WITH HER HUSBAND TJ AND KIDS JACK AND OLIVIA

WHEN my mother passed away four months after being diagnosed with cancer, some big questions went through my 33-year-old mind.

Up until that point, I really worried about the three “F’s”… financial security, the future and my family. But suddenly I started asking myself: “If I only had another 22 years left to live, what would I do differently?” The answers boiled down to: “How can I live more and worry less?” I’m a list person, so I made one that served both as my bucket list and as my new plan of action (more on that later).

My year of loss The year 2012 was unbelievably heartbreaking. The day we buried my mother, my cousin died. Two co-workers unexpectedly passed away that summer. Both of my sisters-in-law lost parents. And my husband’s grandfather died.

Sandwiched in the middle of those painful losses, our boat sank in Grand Traverse Bay. (You may remember seeing it on the local news when Hurricane Sandy affected the Great Lakes.) A week later, my family and I were in a car accident. During that time, there was no safe haven. Even my marketing job was in constant flux—our department reorganized three times.

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That wasn’t all.

I was diagnosed with treatable skin cancer, work reorganized again and my grandmother died the night before Mother’s Day—the first without my mom. Another friend also passed away.

The turmoil of those months was enough to fill several lifetimes. It seemed my mom’s death was just the tip of the iceberg. I am one of those people who smiles most of the time.

I am an optimist by nature—an enduring gift from my mother. So, you’d have never known it if you met me at the time, but that year was an exceedingly heart-wrenching one. I would need to do more than recover. I would have to rebuild.

Check your six Initially, I decided I would not make big changes in my life. Instead, I took some time to grieve and “check my six.”

That is something one of my mentors and managers always encouraged me to do.

Checking “your six” is a saying that originally meant watching your back or turning from the top of the hour to the “six” position on the face of a clock. My colleague said it to refer to looking into your past for paths to the future.

Here’s what I saw when I looked back: In my

last year at Michigan State University (MSU), I became a single mother. I left MSU, stayed in Traverse City and graduated from Davenport University with a degree in business. I was a happy single mother. Remembering this helped me reposition for the future.

From there, I was ready to start making some changes. My bucket list, or plan of action, looked like this…

1. Do what you want. I realized as I had gotten older and felt I needed to be more “responsible,” that I’d fallen into a pattern of saying “no” to activities and experiences I really wanted to do. After losing my mom, I reprioritized and started saying “yes” more often to what I wanted in life.

2. Be yourself. I chose to not sacrifice myself to please others. I did what I thought were the right and noble things to do. I realized I could be feminine, smart, ambitious, kind and still be the mother my child deserved.

3. Own a business. While finishing up my degree, I partnered with a friend to form Sweeping Beauty, a residential and commercial cleaning company. I enjoyed business development, marketing and the flexibility it provided.

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Grand Traverse Woman

Start creating the

4. Give back. My business partner lost her sister to leukemia, so we ran a marathon to raise money to fight the disease.

smile

5. Take vacations. When I graduated, I imagined getting a job in a beautiful location like Seattle, Oregon or Hawaii. But I never once visited those places. Now I say “yes” to trips. These special destinations are on my must-see list.

of your dreams today!

6. Keep family first. I made a point to focus on my family. My husband, TJ, and I began dating just before my daughter, Olivia, turned one. We had our second child, married, and he adopted my daughter. I enjoyed that time and stayed home while the kids were young.

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7. Secure the future. After losing my mom, I instinctively wanted to secure more life insurance. It’s a weird reaction, but I thought: oh my goodness, what would happen to my family if I died tomorrow? It was hard for me to lose my mom as an adult; I couldn't imagine what my family would go through if they lost me while they were still growing up. I wouldn’t want them to have extra worries. I would want them to Live more, worry less. All have the time together to the same things that stress heal. Not money problems, me out are still there in just time.

Complimentary consultation.

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life, but I don’t focus on

8. Help people. Once my them. I have more joy. kids were older, I went back to work. I got a job with Hagerty Classic Car Insurance. I met so many good people and I learned so much about business. Everything I did there was because I wanted to help better the company and spread a little warmth and kindness to the people around me.

Traverse City 231-929-3200 Charlevoix 231-237-0955 21015 GT_Woman.ai

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9. Give thanks. Regardless of one’s faith, it is important to wake up and go to sleep reflecting on the things we are thankful for.

Joy that shines through Looking backward helped me heal. It also provided a roadmap to my future—a life that would maximize me. A life that utilizes my strengths.

In many respects today, I’m far away from those terrible experiences in 2012. But I didn’t forget them; 2012 may have been a year of loss, but it was also a year of change as I began to navigate my purpose-driven life.

Through this process I became a business partner in an organization that provides all types of insurance. I help protect people and help them worry less about the risks of everyday life. I know they exist firsthand.

I’ve been there, too. I get to be kind, ambitious, forward thinking—and all the things that make me, well, me.

People can buy insurance anywhere. My hope is that my clients understand what they are buying when they work with me. I genuinely care about them. It’s not about products. When life’s events happen, I hope that I can help as many people as I can be a little bit better off after we meet, whether it be through insurance or just getting to know each other.

So these days my motto is: “Live more, worry less.” All the same things that stress me out are still there in life, but I don’t focus on them.

I have more joy. When I see the people I worked with years ago, they say, “Wow, you look so happy!” I was before but now it just shines through a lot brighter.

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Gretchen Kieth Vehicle Sales Consultant

(231) 922-2000 fgtford.com US-31 South, Traverse City, MI

Jenny Craig is a Traverse City native with eight years of insurance experience. She’s passionate about helping Michigan families and businesses feel confident they are properly protected from the risks of everyday life. You can reach her at Farm Bureau Insurance in Traverse City at 231.947.9452 or Jcraig@fbinsmi.com. Learn more at www.jennycraigagency.com.

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Grand Traverse Woman

FROM FIRST STEPS TO FINISH LINE As a veteran runner and coach, Lisa Taylor helps people of all ages conquer their biggest adversaries: themselves.

BY KRISTEN LOWE FROM the moment Lisa Taylor went on her first run, she knew she had found something she really loved.

It was the late ’70s, during one of the first “running booms” across America. That’s when Lisa’s neighbor, a marathon runner, took her on a threemile jog.

“I was 13 years old, and it came very easily,” she said. “It was really clear to me that it was something I needed to pursue.”

Lisa grew up playing sports, but running stood out for her. She ran track at Alma High School, and Michigan State University. She married a marathoner and eventually got into marathons herself.

“I love the way it makes me feel,” she said.

“Sometimes I might begin a run and not feel so great, and at the end of it, I feel better physically and mentally.”

She’s not alone. Multiple scientific studies have pointed to running as an effective way to manage weight, improve cholesterol and bone density and increase strength. But, for Lisa, running has mostly been a tool for working problems out.

“Clearing my head is probably the primary reason I keep doing it,” she said.

It’s those positive benefits that Lisa loves passing on to the kids and adults she coaches.

Inspiring others Lisa began her coaching career in 1989 at Traverse City Senior High School (Now Traverse City Central). She was named head cross-country coach in 1994 and was selected to join Central’s Hall of Fame in 2015. While she’s led the Trojans to many victories and garnered many awards, what she said she loves most is teaching kids skills that will last a lifetime.

“You have to teach the younger kids not to take for granted how easy it is to maintain their fitness,” she said. “Whereas, adults, that’s a different story.

You lose it a lot more rapidly when you’re an adult.”

Lisa coaches a beginner running class for grown ups.

“The stakes are so much higher,” she said.

“They’ve experienced what bad health feels like, so for the most part, they’re a more motivated group.”

She said many of the adult students have been

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sedentary for several years: such as mothers who have raised families, and are finally choosing to take care of themselves.

“Unlike young people who can take time off and hop back into it, adults have to go at it super slow,” Lisa said. “Maybe even running for 20 seconds at a time just to get started.”

For adults, a slow-and-steady approach is key, she said.

“The challenge is the toll that it takes on your body to be inactive for many years,” she said.

“And then being patient to come back slowly enough you don’t get injured or discouraged.”

While running can have great health benefits, Lisa said it does have intricacies that should not be ignored, especially with adults.

“Probably the best first step you can take is to seek out some good advice,” she said.

But where do people begin?

Advice

Get a buddy.

LISA TAYLOR

Get outside Even with support, Lisa has seen the best intentions fail because of lack of convenience.

“The common thing is to join an indoor facility, pay the membership and learn how to use the equipment,” she said. “The idea is you hop in your car and drive there.” But for some people, the drive-to-the-gym plan can backfire.

For many women, Lisa said, having something right outside your front door can be a key to success (and a lot harder to make an excuse for!). She said if you’ve been through the cycle of joining gyms and programs and haven’t been successful, it might be time to try something new, and closer to home.

That’s why Lisa is a big advocate for exercising outside: “I think part of what makes our community so great is the active things we can do here. We’ve got running trails, hiking trails, fat bike trails… being outside is key.” And as the snow flies, there are countless other ways to be active in nature, including snowshoe paths and cross-country ski trails.

Take it outside.

Be consistent.

Get a buddy As a professional coach, Lisa knows a thing or two about reaching goals. Her advice for sticking to those 2017 fitness resolutions: get a buddy, take it outside and be consistent.

Lisa knows that to meet goals, most of us need a little help along the way. That’s why she says doing a running class, getting a coach or asking a friend to go with you increases your chances of success.

She has seen many mother/daughter and husband/ wife teams who are successful at holding each other accountable.

“It’s really easy to put down $50 to buy an online training program or something, but to have a cheerleader on your side, you can really make a big difference,” she said.

Have the right gear Of course, to be successful with anything outdoors in Northern Michigan winters, you need to dress the part. “You’ve got to get a good pair of shoes, warm clothes, a hat and gloves,” she said.

Consistency is key With any new activity, especially with running, Lisa indicated you have to be consistent. She said running isn’t something you can do once a week for a long time and benefit from it all week.

www.grandtraversewoman.com

Grand Traverse Woman “If anything, you’re going to curse it all week long because you’ll be so sore!” she said. Even if it’s just a long walk, where you include a five-minute run, some cardio every other day can really help most people.

Love it for life Maybe it’s getting active for the first time in years, or qualifying for the marathon of your dreams, when it comes to goals, one thing is for sure: Lisa loves helping people meet them.

“I just enjoy being with people and spending that time, hearing their story, and just seeing if I can help them be successful.” That can be life changing.

As far as her future, Lisa plans to keep running as long as she can. After all, this love affair with running has been a lifelong thing for her.

“I picture myself running around the Civic Center, in the middle of winter, in my 70s,” she said. “Maybe someone may drive by and say, ‘Look at that old lady out there running! That’s really cool!’”

BELGIAN Inspired

Lisa Taylor enjoys being outdoors. In her free time, she loves hiking, beach walking and working in her yard. Her dog is always by her side. She can be reached at lisamarytaylor@gmail.com.

ALES MADE IN

TUNE IN!

16 Taps Beer, Cider, Mead & Wine BRILLIANT BITES } LUNCH & DINNER

All this year, Grand Traverse Woman and 7&4 News will be profiling some of the most powerful women in Northern Michigan. Look for Kristen Lowe's reports on 7&4 News and her articles in every issue of Grand Traverse Woman.

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Deep healing for the whole self

CM

Providing an integrative approach to personal growth and healing, incorporating energywork, dialogue, movement, and a range of holistic therapeutic modalities.

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Christy Petrini Sales & Leasing Consultant

(231) 938-3800 • foxmb.com US-31 South, Traverse City, MI

CMY

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Through deeply honoring and addressing your whole self— body, mind, and spirit—it offers a powerful path to lasting growth and change.

Lee Edwards, BCPP, BCST (231) 421 3120 • Traverse City, MI www.soulwayshealing.com

www.grandtraversewoman.com

Mercedes-Benz of Traverse City Jan/Feb '17 13

Grand Traverse Woman

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T H G I R BE B BE BOLD. BE YOUNG.

Year-round theatre classes, workshops and camps for youth.

SPRING CLASSES FOR AGES 5-18 We offer a variety of classes in acting, singing, dance and technical theatre for all experience levels. Spring classes begin April 10, 2017.

NEW!

SPRING BREAK CAMP

SPRING BREAK INTENSIVE MUSICAL THEATRE CAMP Ages 8 to 16. March 27-31, Mon-Fri, 9:30-3:30. Space is limited!

Act, sing and let your character shine! Students rehearse the musical Disney’s Aladdin, Kids and perform it at the end of this fun-filled week.

ENROLL FOR SPRING CLASSES JANUARY 1!

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Jan/Feb '17

Call 231.947.2210 ext 103 Click oldtownplayhouse.com/young-co

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Grand Traverse Woman

www.grandtraversewoman.com

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Grand Traverse Woman Northern Michigan’s

Viruses, Adware and Malware - Oh my! (and don’t forget Ransomware, Phishing and Scamware)

I'm pretty sure there is a special place in hell for those people who try to make their living by cheating or lying to other people.

It's a daily occurrence at CityMac to meet people who have a window pop up on their computer screen.

hey girls!

GET OUT AND PLAY!

Don’t Do It! It is sad how many people call and actually give out their credit card number to these criminals. It is unfortunate that the victim is often a trusting senior citizen.

There is some good news in the Apple world!

SNOWSHOE • FAT BIKE • CROSS COUNTRY SKI We’ve got your toys to make winter FUN! Clothing and accessories too!

There are no viruses that routinely afflict Mac computers as they do in the Windows world.

Ransomware (where you click on a link or email and then suddenly all your data is encrypted unless you pay a ransom) is virtually unknown for Mac computers and devices like the iPad and iPhone.

Adware and malware are harder to avoid nowadays because you can go to a web site where just by entering, a small bit of software will run from the browser and can freeze your screen or give you the scary message above.

WE CARRY: Patagonia, Smartwool, NorthFace, SKHoop Tubbs and Atlas Snowshoes Fischer, Salomon and Swix - Skis, Boots, Poles and Bindings, And more!

Scamware or Junkware is software that is solicited from your screen and tells you it will fix your problems.

Stay away! It usually causes more problems.

Phishing is when you get a false email, usually saying you need to enter your password for your bank account or Paypal in an attempt to steal your login.

Web surf safe, use a Mac, and if you get into trouble, call CityMac and you will have safe computing.

231.947.4274

736 E. 8th Street Traverse City www.brickwheels.com

3480 S. Airport Rd, Traverse City MI 49684 (by MC Sports near Grand Traverse Mall) Mon. - Sat. 9:00am - 7:00 pm | 231-946-1045 Locally owned and family operated

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www.grandtraversewoman.com

Grand Traverse Woman

BY KIM BURCH

Love Welcomes All. Early Service in the Chapel at 8:15 am Upbeat & Casual Service at 9 am Traditional Service with Organ & Choir at 11 am

Every Sunday Morning

KIDS ENJOYING TIME AT THE ROCK IN KINGSLEY.

tccentralumc.org

WE ALL KNOW the strain that snow days can place on busy parents.

222 S. Cass Street Traverse City, MI 49684 231-946-5191

(Remember those polar vortex days and weeks trying to juggle childcare and find fun ways to keep stir-crazy kids occupied?)

Luckily, the community of Kingsley has an answer for snow-day stress.

For years, that town has known the value of The Rock, a community center for children and senior citizens started by Dan and Diane Walton.

And this winter, as the snow flies, more attention is growing for The Rock’s newest venture: The School’s Out? Hang Out! Program, now in its second year.

The program provides a fun and safe place for children in kindergarten through 5th grade to hang out when there are scheduled days off from school and on snow days. There, kids enjoy a day of structured activities, including indoor and outdoor play, arts and crafts, cooking projects, walking field trips and service to the community.

Kim Burch, program coordinator, says, “Our purpose is to provide more than just daycare. We help children understand what a gift they are to the community, and that having fun and working together to take care of what we have is an important part of keeping our community strong.”

Kim, a mother of three, has enjoyed using the program, especially for her daughter. She also loves how this job has filled a place in her heart.

Growing up, she recalls, “Whether volunteering or working, it seems my destiny to help others.”

The popular program continues to grow, as The Rock always welcomes new families. Kim says, “We invite everyone to find a place at The Rock…

Parents who need support. Kids who need a second home. Seniors who find camaraderie and purpose in giving back. It’s what we do in our community—we take our passion, find a purpose and share it with others who come to The Rock.”

To learn more about The Rock, a 501(c) (3) nonprofit corporation with the mission to inspire change in the community through positive interaction, one person at a time, visit therockofkingsley.com.

PROGRAM COORDINATOR, KIM BURCH

www.grandtraversewoman.com

exploring faith & spirituality through worship

{

Joy is the essence of success!

2017

}

Fitness Classes

For all ages and fitness levels • TOTAL Barre™ • Yoga • HIIT • Aerial Fit • Fitness Ball • Cycling + MORE New year, new you— sign up today!

231.995.1700 nmc.edu/fitness

NMC Extended Education Jan/Feb '17 17

PHOTO BY KAYLA MAE STIGLICH

Grand Traverse Woman

Plan ‘J’

JOY

One woman made 2016 her year of

BY SUE ADKINS

I AM SURE you have heard of “Plan A” and “Plan

Everyone who knows me knows that I am a very positive person. Even when life was at its worst and seemed like there was no hope, there was always a little joy hanging around to be thankful for. I remembered that and realized that the change I needed would have to begin with ME!

B.” Well, I decided 2016 would be my “Plan J” because “J” had been missing from my life for too many years. Sure, there was some “J” here and there, but just little sparks. You see, I was missing out on the wildfires for the past 10 years. What wildfires you say? The “J” wildfires. “J” standing for JOY! The gym We were a blended family: he had two chilI signed up for a gym membership, which I dren and I had three. Seven in our family. I had hadn’t done in years because I was busy taking struggled to keep it all together for 10 years. Our care of everyone else. Not anymore! It was time family. Taking care of everyone, every day, but to take care of Sue. not myself.

I started going to the gym Monday through It came to a point one day, when I just could Friday, every morning at 5 a.m. before work. I not take it anymore. All I could hear was my loved it! I felt like Sue again. Not wife, not mom, daughter saying to me, “I know how unhappy just me! I was getting stronger, healthier and I you have been for years and you deserve so much even lost 20 pounds. better.” This from the wisest 15-year old I know!

The last straw was seeing how our life was affectThe divorce ing her and all my kids.

My husband and I decided to divorce. This Almost every day we were walking on eggwould be my second divorce, and the first time shells from the tension and negativity in our living without another adult in my life. My first home. All the questions flooded my head. What divorce was very bad, and I didn’t want this am I doing with my life? Personally and profesone to be the same way. I’m thankful this time sionally? How do I get out of this unhealthy, around that my second husband and I would be unhappy marriage? amicable about it. It may seem like it was easy, What kind of example am I setting for my but it was not. I knew there kids? Why am I not takwas no form of counseling ing care myself? What am I stopped that could fix our marriage.

I going to do about my job We were always two comletting fear now that the company is pletely different people from having financial problems? I control my future and the start. So, I began telling was completely terrified and instead used it to change my family and friends about stressed. I cried all the time. my life for the better. divorcing and gaining their All I could hear in my support, love and wisdom. head was fear! Fear of all the unknowns. Fear had controlled me for so many The home years and stopped me so many times from ending I could have easily been stressed about my my marriage. living situation. Leaving my marriage meant I For some reason, this time was different. You would have to sell my home of 25 years because I know what? I told myself, I am not going to live couldn’t afford it and didn’t want to worry about one more day without “J” in my life. I am going the maintenance.

My mind jumped to: How do to show my kids this is what you need to do to I find any affordable housing in Grand Traverse change your life for the better. I was at my breakCounty on one income?

How do I find a rental, ing point and I could not spend one more day of period, after hearing there were three-year waitmy life living like this.

Advice

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ing lists for apartments!

Again, I took things one step at a time. I worked at painting and repairing my home, getting it ready to put on the market for sale.

Somehow, I met my target date.

Wow—my home sold in the first week, with 30 days to close. Yikes! Even though I was freaking out, I kept my cool around my daughter and reassured her that somehow it would all work out, that many people were helping me look for rentals.

Then luck struck immediately! (How did this happen? I was never lucky.) My daughter and I went to look at a two-bedroom condo and it was perfect.

I filled out the application and we were accepted as tenants. We were both overjoyed! My family, friends and my two grown sons helped us move in. So blessed!

The job I must mention that while all this was happening—filing for divorce and selling my house—I was also applying for jobs. I needed a stable employer and a position where I would earn enough money to be able to afford a place on my own. My family was worried about me. Why should they worry? I was just going through all of life’s major stresses… at the same time! No worries. Right!

I tried to keep calm, as I wanted my daughter always to feel safe and secure that I had it all under control. I’m proud of how I handled it all on the outside. Internally, I prayed a lot! And my faith really helped me face all the fears that had controlled me for years.

I managed to find a job making more money.

Suddenly, my daughter and I had a home without any stress, sadness or negativity. “J” was finally in the house! All the pieces fell into place perfectly, just like my mother used to always say. I miss her and hope she would be proud of me now.

Even though I conquered my fears and accomplished so many things last year, something was still missing. My new job was great, but I was not helping anyone with anything. In all of my

www.grandtraversewoman.com

Grand Traverse Woman previous jobs, I held positions where I was helping someone. I realized that was my passion and if I was going to have a career, I must have a passion for what I was doing.

The 2nd job!

So I had to add this last piece of the joy puzzle to my new life. I began another job search. Luck found me once again! I was chosen to be the new program manager for the Workers on Wheels program of Goodwill of Northern Michigan. Now, I assist people in Goodwill’s 19-county service area by awarding donated vehicles to families who are struggling with transportation needs.

These vehicles help families get to jobs, school, activities and doctor appointments. It helps them no longer to need state assistance. It changes their lives for the better. I love my job and I truly believe I hit the lottery!

Every day now is filled with JOY. Year 2016 went from such a sad year to the happiest one for me: new home, new life, awesome job, even a new boyfriend who is an amazing chef and makes me so happy.

Not bad for being 49.

I am so glad I stopped letting fear control my future and instead used it to change my life for the better.

As I sit on my deck at my condo, which is on the top floor, I have a beautiful view of the sunset. I toast with my glass of wine: “This, my beautiful daughter, is how you find your joy and happiness. Fear not, and may joy and happiness fill all your days to come… mine too.”

Sue Adkins is the program manager for Workers on Wheels through Goodwill of Northern Michigan. Sue recently accepted the Hagerty Insurance Community Partnership Grant for her program that provides donated cars to people in need.

The award is worth $25,000. She can be reached at wow@goodwillnmi.org.

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DINNERS

Join us for wine & food in harmony.

Elegant monthly wine-paired culinary experiences celebrating each season’s harvest. Hosted by the Inn at Black Star Farms.

BlackStarFarms.com/dining | 10844 E Revold Rd. Suttons Bay

www.grandtraversewoman.com

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Grand Traverse Woman

11th Annual GTWoman

CHICAGO

Road Trip HOTEL: Courtyard Chicago Downtown Magnificent Mile. The rooms are being renovated for 2017, they have a gorgeous lobby and on-site restaurant and a Starbucks (you’re welcome)! Our hotel is 1 block from the Magnificent Mile so you can walk to all the great shops and restaurants! www.courtyardchicago.com SHOW: ESCAPE TO MARGARITAVILLE, More than a musical. It’s a way of life.

November 10-12, 2017 (Fri-Sun) For tickets visit www.grandtraversewoman.com

We are already half full!

REGISTER TODAY! TO JOIN US, visit www.grandtraversewoman.com and make your $100 deposit to hold your seat.

Imagine a place where the sun is hot, the ocean’s warm, and the drinks are as cold as they are plentiful. Welcome to Margaritaville, the island paradise featuring both original songs and your most-loved Jimmy Buffett classics.

This new musical is the story of a part-time bartender, part-time singer, and full-time charmer named Tully who thinks he’s got life all figured out. Until a beautiful career-minded tourist steals his heart and makes him question everything. See more here: www.facebook.com/BuffettMusical/ MOTORCOACH: Travel on one of our 3 motorcoaches with your favorite gal pals or make it a mother-daughter weekend! Our cozy ride has outlets for charging your cell phone and a bathroom on board. But, more importantly, there will be wine served along the way! Enjoy games and prizes as we make the 5 hours to Chicago fly by. We will also stop for a lunch break along the way (not included in the pricing).

COST: Quad: $395 each; Triple: $445 each; Double: $495 each Includes 2 nights lodging in downtown Chicago, motorcoach transportation, 1 Broadway Show ticket, wine (or perhaps margaritas on the bus?) prizes, games and goody bags.

Join us for our 11th year… with 3 buses and 160 fabulous, laughing, crazy fun women!

Sister Sponsors: Brought to you by:

Grand Traverse WOMAN

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Grand Traverse Woman

Welcome to Bayside Allergy We are Northern Michigan’s premier specialty allergy clinic.

We’re a breath of fresh care!

Come see why.

Laura E. Howe, MD

James S. McClellan, MD

Kirsten Schmitt, PA-C

Accepting new patients.

Participating with most insurances.

447 Munson Ave., Traverse City www.grandtraversewoman.com

|

Specializing in: Asthma Seasonal Allergies Food Allergies Chronic Hives Chronic Sinusitis Medication Allergies Insect Sting Allergies Immune Deficiencies baysideallergy.net

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929.9090

877.912.9090 Jan/Feb '17 21

Grand Traverse Woman

T H E R E I S A L WAY S T I M E T O

REINVENT YOURSELF

AFTER LOSING HER BABY GIRL, THIS MOTHER BUILT A CAREER OUT OF HEALTH CARE

BY TAMMY TARSA

WHEN IT COMES TO CAREERS,

I was what some might call a “late bloomer.” Right out of high school, I spent two and a half years at Michigan State University trying everything from International Business to Underwater Basket Weaving, but nothing seemed to stick.

It took me 26 years and a personal tragedy before I finally felt a connection with any one career. Some might call it an “ah-ha” moment. For me it was more like being hit by a Mac truck, but it made me realize I finally knew what I wanted to be “when I grew up.”

There I was on the fast track to a family. My husband and I had our first child—a beautiful, healthy boy—and were expecting our second. On March 22, 1996, I gave birth to a beautiful, but very sick, baby girl. She was immediately taken to Munson’s NICU where we had her baptized and flown to what was then Butterworth Hospital in Grand Rapids. She remained in NICU for six days.

And on March 28, I held her for the first time as she died in my arms.

Over those six days, while we willed our daughter to breathe, nurses were there. They helped ease the bad news, held us while we cried, answered countless questions and took excellent care of our daughter. They never wavered. We were blessed.

The first (two) degrees And because I had been given so much, how could I do anything less? I decided I wanted to go to nursing school.

So, at the age of 30 with a husband and four young children, I graduated with my Associates Degree in Nursing from Northwestern Michigan College. Five years later, I completed my Bachelor of Science in Nursing and—releasing a huge sigh of relief—looked forward to a long career as a nurse.

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The (business) leap Then, in an unexpected turn of events (aren’t those the most interesting kind?), I purchased a home health-care business in 2008. Although my nursing degree was vital to the business, I soon found that I was spending less time in the field nursing, and more time in the office at a desk.

Looking at numbers, analyzing data and developing strategic goals were well outside my comfort zone and knowledge base. But, slowly, as I struggled to learn the finer points of business management, I discovered that I loved being a business owner.

Just as I was impressed with those Butterworth nurses years ago, I realized small business owners are some of the hardest working people in the world. They are courageous, innovative and passionate. They work day in and day out to keep their doors open and often don’t have time to think about the tiny details. They are too busy doing.

I am a big believer in the “fake it ’til you make it” philosophy; however, I am also smart enough to recognize that there are some things that just can’t be feigned.

Which is why, at the age of 45, I found myself back in school to learn more skills.

Going back (again) Looking back now, I would describe going back as “serendipitous.”

Sifting through the mail at work one day, I came across a flyer for Spring Arbor University.

Why, on this particular day, this particular advertisement caught my attention, I still don’t know.

But it did, and it led me to Spring Arbor’s website and their Master’s in Business Administration program.

There were aspects of the program that I liked right away. Spring Arbor is Christian-based and I

liked knowing that I would be learning to handle business decisions with not only the business in mind, but also with values that mirror my beliefs.

There were no entry tests or pre-requisites.

Instead, they looked at the big picture of who I was and what I had been doing, both professionally and personally, with my life thus far. Plus, the program was short! The thought of being able to see the light at the end of the tunnel before I even started made the plunge seem much more manageable.

Eighteen months, one class every six weeks. I could do that!

You are most likely familiar with the saying: “If I knew then, what I know now…” Well, almost two years later, and one MBA richer…or poorer, depending on how you look at it… I can say with all honesty that I am glad I did not know what I did not know. If I had, I might have made the wrong decision. The decision not to go back to school.

I am not afraid of hard work, but when people ask about my MBA, I tell them honestly: I was unprepared for the amount of work that was involved. I was unprepared for the amount of time spent on my computer and the need to take it everywhere I went. Basketball games, road trips and family picnics, all with the hope of squeaking out 15 minutes of schoolwork.

I was unprepared for the lack of sleep, the number of activities I had to say “no” to and how normal it seemed always to be behind. I was also unprepared for my family to step up and support me 150 percent: from cooking supper and doing laundry to putting up the Christmas tree and wrapping their presents.

It became commonplace for the kids to throw my chair in the car on a beach day, so I could sit and work while they played. Never once did I hear them complain about Mom having to study.

Through it all, they had my back.

www.grandtraversewoman.com

Grand Traverse Woman My co-workers took my absence in stride and gave credence to my ideas as I began to work with them to complete my thesis.

I was unprepared to meet two wonderful women who made this MBA journey with me. They were my confidants, my cheerleaders, and my shoulders to cry on when I just wanted to give up. They pushed me to be the best I could be. I am forever in their debt because of that. W h i l e it seems I was unprepared for so much, I was prepared for the knowledge, and in this I was not disappointed. I place great value in academic knowledge, but I regard with even greater esteem knowledge of oneself.

My journey provided that.

I learned I am stronger than I thought and smarter than I believed. I learned that, when push comes to shove, I have friends and family I can count on and I learned there is always time to reinvent yourself.

C.S. Lewis once wrote: “You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.” (I certainly did. I kind of like the sound of “Dr. Tarsa.” What do you think?)

What’s up for me next? As the owner of Integrity Home Health Care I may not be doing actual nursing every day, but my goal is still the same as always: To show people that they are important and to make a difference in their lives, to help them as I was once helped with my newborn.

By owning this business, I really help two sets of people: those we take care of in their homes and those providing the service…our employees. I know that I cannot help either if my business is not strong. That’s why I’m going to keep leading with my heart.

Tammy Tarsa, owner of Integrity Home Health Care since 2008 and Integrity Skilled Care since 2012, is a long-time local resident. She is a Registered Nurse, holds a Bachelor of Science degree in Nursing, a Master of Business Administration from Spring Arbor University and is a certified Montessori early childhood teacher.

Tammy lives in Leelanau County with her husband and four children and a barn full of animals.

Make

SIGN UP FOR GTWOMAN’S GIRL TALK E-NEWS! We always promote our ad specials and event sign-ups to Girl Talk subscribers first!

2017

Your Best Year Yet NORTHERN ART PHOTOGRAPHY

Are you ready to create an extraordinary life filled with good health, positive relationships and meaningful work and play?

Spoiler Alert

Making yourself a priority can change EVERYTHING.

ISSUES

Advertisers - find out deadlines & the best deals!

CALL FOR STORIES

Every issue we ask for YOUR stories!

NETWORK NITES

Hosted by awesome local businesses!

CHICAGO TRIP

Sign up now for our trip Nov. 10-12, 2017!

LUNCHEONS

Must-see keynote speakers & vendors!

Grand Traverse SIGN UP FOR GIRL TALK: WOMAN

www.grandtraversewoman.com

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Download your free eCourse with 5 steps to create what matters most in this New Year!

www.lesliehamp.com Jan/Feb '17 23

e ose

she believed she could,

APPLY NOW FOR GTWOMAN’S SEE JANE LOSE 2017 PROGRAM! MAKEOVER WE WILL SELECT THREE OF OUR GTWOMAN READERS TO PARTICIPATE IN A FREE 8-WEEK WEIGHT-LOSS PROGRAM STARTING IN MARCH.

See Jane Lose

That’s right, gals, it’s time to make that change you’ve been wanting for so long.

If you’ve got at least 20 lbs. to lose, are able to commit to an intense 8-week program and have the all-important “sass” factor, apply today! This is our 9th year and previous Janes have lost over 450 lbs. total.

The Sweat

The Perks

The Start

Our 3 Janes will take part in an 8-week program at our sponsor, FIT FOR YOU HEALTH CLUB in Traverse City. The program includes:

Our additional sponsors will offer:

Applicants must fill out a 1-page application and send us that “before” picture you want to say goodbye to! The program runs March 11 - May 6. Janes will be featured in three issues of GTWoman as their progress unfolds, as well as be celebrated at a Jane Reveal party in May.

• 16 fat-blasting body transformation coaching sessions with the Jane team • 8 confidence building group challenges • 4 educational seminars

Grand Traverse See

• 8 week Fit For You membership • Done-for-you meal plan

WOMAN Jane

Can you handle the spotlight?

The sweat? The success?

“She believed she could, so she did.”

Visit www.grandtraversewoman.com and fill out our 1-page application for the opportunity to make a big change with GTWoman in 2017!

MAKEOVER

• Nutrition and exercise journal • Ongoing nutritional counseling

Lose

• Unlimited email coaching and more!

GTOC: Skin care for the Janes, plus eyewear Salon Moxie: Hair color & cut, manicure, make-up and blow out Sarah Brown Photography: Before & After photos of each Jane Anne Bonney: 2 coaching sessions & access to Naked Confidence with weekly coaching calls & online video library At Your Service Cleaning 1 house cleaning for each Jane Plus Janes get free tickets to GTWoman Network Nites during the program!

Apply at grandtraversewoman.com Deadline Jan. 20, 2017 The Jane Reveal will be at GTWoman's Wednesday, May 10th Network Nite.

Revolutionize your Reflection

Grand Traverse Woman

MAKING HOME YOUR FAVORITE PLACE TO BE.

IN-DEMAND HEALTH CARE DEGREES FROM GVSU IN TRAVERSE CITY Take advantage of the career-building degree programs available from Grand Valley in Traverse City. Find out more at our Health Care Programs Showcase on Saturday, March 18!

Undergraduate health care degrees: Allied health sciences, liberal studies with concentration in human development (premed, preOT, prePA), nursing R.N. to B.S.N. (hybrid with some travel required) Graduate health care degrees: public health, social work, physician assistant studies, nursing M.S.N. or D.N.P. (hybrid with some travel required), occupational therapy (hybrid with some travel required)

LEARN MORE AT OUR HEALTH CARE PROGRAMS SHOWCASE

Saturday, March 18, 10 a.m. – noon, NMC University Center, Traverse City RSVP: (231) 995-1785 (888) 922-1785 gvsu.edu/traverse

CARPET

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-Marilyn Monroe

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w w w. S a r a h B r o w n - P h o t o g r a p h y. c o m

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Grand Traverse Woman

We are a friendly, family oriented practice.

Accepting new patients of all ages.

for the whole

876 E. 8th Street, Traverse City, MI 49686 Tuesday-Friday, 9am-5pm

www.drtracydds.com | 231.947.6483

Better Songs For A Better Workday!

Listen on the radio at 96.3 FM. Online at lite96.com.

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www.grandtraversewoman.com

Grand Traverse Woman

Grand Traverse Woman 2017

LUNCHEONS YOU 2.0!

Speaker LESLIE HAMP WEDNESDAY, FEB 8, 2017 • 11AM-1PM Get ready to launch “YOU 2.0”! If you’re ready to make a change and take things to the next level at work or at home, you don’t want to miss our best luncheon ever! The trick is unlocking the creative project or dream that you just can’t seem to forget about… perhaps it’s to write a book, tackle an art project, attend a retreat, start a freelance gig or establish a non-profit?

NETWORKING VENDOR BOOTHS PLATED LUNCH

We all have a secret passion project, but many of us are too busy or too fearful to know how to take the first step and move into action. Trust us; you’re not alone.

And we brought help.

Located at Hagerty Conference Center

Leslie Hamp (www.lesliehamp.com) is a Creative Catalyst and Licensed Passion Project Facilitator who works with people in life transitions. She provides the clarity and support needed to navigate the path of change and obtain more energy, fulfillment, creativity, fun and success in life.

Lunch tickets: $30 or 2 for $50

Leslie Hamp, Creative Catalyst, is on a mission to help women with their passion project—that one thing that will make each of us feel more alive!

What’s passion got to do with it? Everything! And Leslie will show you how.

Over lunch, she’ll help you: • Identify a passion project and how it can transform your business and life • Avoid the top 5 reasons people fail to turn their ideas into reality • Follow the 4-step process to start moving toward results

Vendor booths: $185 (includes 2 lunch tix)

www.grandtraversewoman.com

Join us for lunch on Feb. 8th and leave with inspiration to put yourself and your ideas out there in a whole new way in 2017!

GET YOUR BOOTH TODAY

Showcase your business & share lunch with your clients!

Grand Traverse

WOMAN

www.grandtraversewoman.com

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Grand Traverse Woman

BETH PRICE PHOTOGRAPHY

Dwell Well

Love Boat

HOW THE SHOW CHANGED MY THINKING

THE PRINT SHOP fresh water inspired photographic prints

NOW OPEN printshop-bethpricephotography.com

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Jan/Feb '17

BY SAMANTHA HOFFMAN

THE BEST ADVICE I’ve ever received was delivered to me by fate. Or at least it seemed that way.

I had just finished writing my first novel, an experience that brought light to all the changes I needed to make in my life. It was early in my spiritual journey, and I was trying hard to master what some refer to as the “Monkey Mind.”

This is where the mind mimics that of an over-stimulated monkey, rapidly hopping from one thought to the next, shrieking with what if’s, caught up in madness.

One of the first changes I realized I had to make during that time was to get honest about my marriage. So, I asked for a divorce. This was huge.

My husband and I had a successful business together. My expressing what I needed did not in any way represent what he felt he needed. Tensions mounted.

I knew this decision was right, but it also felt shrouded in unknowns.

I was embarking upon a new life for my children and me. I wanted certainty. I had none. Cue the monkey.

So, for the first time in my life, I took a vacation. Just me. For someone who feels more comfortable in the shadows, this too was huge. It meant dining alone and exploring alone for a solid week. One would think I was being asked to jump off a cliff.

But God was kind. The sunshine poured down on me in West Hollywood, where I was staying, and every step of the vacation felt peppered with synchronized moments.

While there, I took in a spiritual workshop. I smiled at the young man who entered the elevator with me. We made small talk. He too was alone.

He was funny and just about as awkward as I. We struck up a friendship that day. This delightful man was the one who would introduce me to the lady whose advice I carry with me today.

Douglas sold furs in Beverly Hills and told me he had been invited to a small dinner party by one of his clients. Would I want to join?

Going meant stepping out of my shell even further. I went anyway.

Even though it was an intimate gathering, I don’t remember the names of everyone at the table. It’s been seven years. But I do remember Jeraldine.

Jeraldine Saunders is the creator of the Love Boat television series that was popular back in the ’70s and ’80s. Little did I know (sitting on my bed as a young girl with a pile of fish sticks and my Siamese cat, watching that show) that I would come to know the woman behind it all. More importantly, that she would share with me her key to life.

Jeraldine was the first female cruise director. The things she saw on board between passengers and crew astounded her. She regaled her mother of the shenanigans in letters she sent home. Her mother saved

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Grand Traverse Woman those letters, and later they were sent to an agent. The rest is history.

Jeraldine and I hit it off instantly at the party. She showed me her warmth and shared with me her guidance and history. I told her about the things that had brought me to where I was in life.

She grabbed my hand and read my palm. She told me that, even though I was born on the cusp of Virgo and Libra, I was a Libran (she was right). She studied my hand a second time and said I was also hypoglycemic (right again).

At that point I thought Jeraldine was an oracle. She then shared how she had navigated her life, including this simple statement that was the foundation of it all: Dwell well.

She explained, in all that you do, choose your thoughts. Thoughts matter. They can turn to trash. Don’t fill your mental home with trash.

You wouldn’t think of doing that in your physical home. Your mind is no different. Fill it with the best.

Jeraldine didn’t sugarcoat things though. At that time, she had well over 80 years of life under her belt and had endured many hardships. But she harnessed her mind and moved forward, not from a place of fear or self-pity, but from a place of empowerment. I could see how our chance meeting was a beautiful example of divine providence.

Jeraldine lives by the words she shared with me. She’s a tough cookie.

But only in that she is sure of herself. She doesn’t tolerate whining from others. Most likely because she doesn’t tolerate it from herself.

To this day, Jeraldine still writes her syndicated weekly astrology column. She still boldly embraces new projects. And she still lives with her lover, who is 50 years her junior! Recently, while flipping television channels, I caught her on an episode of “Extreme Cougars.” Her beau asked her if she’d marry him. She politely declined.

There have been a few times over the years when I reached out to Jeraldine and asked the latest. I, usually sitting at my desk noshing Cheez-its, begrudging why my life wasn’t working out. She replying with, “GOING GREAT, DEAR! BUSY WITH MANY PROJECTS! KEEP WRITING! BELIEVE IN YOURSELF! LOVE YOU, JERALDINE” written in all caps, which made her words jump from the screen with enthusiasm.

Seems fitting.

I have a deep appreciation for how life brought me to meet this woman and to hear the words I needed to hear. I’ve been in some pretty dicey situations since then. I haven’t always mastered my mind. The monkey has at times gone rogue. Then I remember who rules whom.

Nowadays, I am led by the monkey less and less. I’m getting better at controlling my thoughts. Not just the thoughts of fear or worry. But also the cyclone of busy thoughts that sweep me up, causing me to forget to turn off my Jeep when I pull into my driveway. Yes, that has happened.

Choose your thoughts.

Taking control of one’s Thoughts matter. They can life starts by controlling one’s turn to trash. Don’t fill your thoughts. Jeraldine shared mental home with trash. that gift of advice with me. I You wouldn’t think of doing can think the best in a situation or the worst. I can dwell that in your physical home. on the good or the bad. It’s Your mind is no different. up to me. And if that’s not Fill it with the best. empowering, I don’t know what is.

Advice

Samantha Hoffman, along with her daughter, Chloe Dutton, founded Rebel Spirit Empowerment from Within, a women’s empowerment clothing line. In addition, Samantha is a novelist and children’s book author, and writes a blog called “Insanity; A Writer’s Commentary.” She also cohosts the new women’s empowerment podcast/radio show, Rebel Woman Radio, which will be available starting the first of the year at rebelwomanradio.com.

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Jan/Feb '17 29

Grand Traverse Woman

ROBOTICS HOW

CHANGED MY LIFE

BY SYD STEWART

AUTHOR SYD STEWART AS LEAD DRIVER AT THE 2016 STATE CHAMPIONSHIPS.

EVER SINCE I was little, I loved to take things

petition, our team won the Core Values Award for Teamwork. I had a great time, built relationships and gained experiences that I would carry with me into high school.

apart. As a young child, I went to a TCAPS Montessori School. The curriculum relied heavily on creative and hands-on learning. I have always loved to create and my mind is always coming up Building robots with new ideas to test. However, I knew I wanted to continue I had trouble finding something with robotics at West Senior I really enjoyed that I could High (WSH). So the summer invest myself in.

While the path before entering high school, I In 6th grade, I moved on to

to where I am now attended a VEX robotics camp at West Middle School (WMS) and West Middle School. VEX robots may have been harder was thrust into a completely are built with bolts, screws and new environment where I knew because I’m a girl, metal and can be programmed few people. I had never been in I never let that stop to work autonomously or driven a traditional school with sepame from achieving using a remote control. rate classes and grades. With I loved the new challenge. At all the new responsibilities and my dreams. the camp, I met the WSH robothomework, I no longer had an ics coach, Philip Leete, who told outlet to fiddle with technology, make art or do me about Titan Robotics and the opportunities it anything creative. would provide me to compete at a higher level. I jumped at the opportunity to step up and couldn’t My first league wait to start!

At WMS, I made a few friends, one of whom My freshman year started off as any other would. was interested in electronics like me. He and some I was slammed with homework and overwhelmed of his friends asked if I wanted to join their robotby the number of people who seemed to be older ics team, the Techno Titans. Without hesitation I and taller than I. But through it all, I always looked said yes. forward to robotics as my downtime.

The team participated in a competition called FIRST LEGO League (FLL). The robots were built The only girls! with LEGOs and relied on computer programming Because the VEX program was new, it didn’t yet to move and complete the competition tasks or have many supplies or members. In fact, my friend, “challenge.” It was amazing—I finally found an Eva, and I were on a VEX team of our own—all by activity that I could enjoy outside of school that ourselves. We were two girls, with no competitive aligned with all my interests!

VEX experience and limited resources, who manDuring 8th grade, the Techno Titans were the aged to build a sound robot. And you know what? only WMS robotics team that had girls on it and We took our robot to competition and won the was led by female mentors (coaches). We had to Judge’s Award! create a robot that could complete various challengIn my sophomore year, I started in FIRST es. And because the challenge theme for the season Robotics Competition (FRC), which kicks-off each was “Senior Solutions,” we also had to design a January. FRC is the “Ultimate Sport for the Mind” solution to a problem that senior citizens face. where robots are bigger, more powerful and more Our robotics team came up with a weather complex. More than 3,400 teams and 85,000 shield for a walker that would protect the person from wind, rain and snow. It was a success! At comstudents participate worldwide. Unfortunately, for

Advice

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Jan/Feb '17

the first time in robotics, I started to feel like my opinions and ideas were being discounted because I was a girl.

I really wanted to be involved in the technical aspects of FRC, so I pushed to be included. I was met with some resistance and got discouraged a few times, but the team mentors helped me overcome my self-doubt and keep fighting to participate more at this robotics level.

Because of this encouragement, I became a main builder and driver and even competed on an allgirls drive team.

Making history That’s when we made history: Titan Robotics qualified for the first time in program history for the State Championship tournament. I can’t wait for this year’s FRC tournament at Central High School April 6-8.

Over the years, I’ve come to appreciate the resources robotics programs require. Beyond funding, the biggest need is for mentors who can share a variety of skills. One example is Michele Vozza, who helped our team compete for and win the prestigious FRC Chairman’s Award. I thank all of my mentors, especially the women, for all they’ve taught me!

My biggest robotics accomplishment might be the leadership role I’ve taken with the elementary robotics program, VEX IQ, which I helped launch.

There were only a dozen local teams at the begin-

TITAN ROBOTICS DRIVE TEAM AT THE 2016 STATE CHAMPIONSHIPS (L-R): SARAH MOORE, HANNAH ELLERY, SYD STEWART AND AVERY KOSTZREWA.

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Grand Traverse Woman ning, but now there are more than 60 teams. At the league competitions, I am known as the go-to person if anyone needs help with his or her robot. I love teaching kids about robots. I love watching their eyes light up when they have an idea to solve their problem.

The future Now it’s my senior year. I have gained many skills through robotics, from learning how to solve a wide range of issues engineers face to being able to use almost any power tool. I am responsible for mentoring team members on tool safety and program dynamics.

What’s more, I have earned a place of respect on our team, secured an internship at Skilled Manufacturing, Inc. in Traverse City, and chosen my career path. I want to become a high school STEM (science, technology, engineering, math) teacher with a degree in engineering. Working with the VEX IQ teams introduced me to the teaching field, something I had never considered before.

While the path to where I am now may have been harder because I’m a girl, I never let that stop me from achieving my dreams. I still have a long way to go. I will graduate from college and get a teaching job. I will create new relationships and experiences. However, I will never forget the friendships, fun times, challenges and experiences that I gained during my time on the Titan Robotics team.

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Syd Stewart is a local high school student. On Jan. 7, she will travel to Boyne City with her Titan Robotics teammates for her last FRC season kickoff. For the next few months she’ll be busy designing, building and testing machines. The team welcomes new students, mentors and community partners. For more information, contact Michele Vozza, Titan Robotics mentor, at titanfrc3767@gmail.com or 231.933.0130. Learn more at wshtitanrobotics.weebly.com and follow the team on Facebook at www.facebook.com/titanrobotics3767.

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Jan/Feb '17 31

Grand Traverse Woman

4 LESSONS IN BUSINESS

(& life!)

CORY WEBER PHOTOGRAPHY

BY RACHEL MOGER

AS I ENTERED

into my fourth year as an entrepreneur, I paused for a moment of reflection. How have three full years passed already? How did I get here? All while adding two kids into the mix?

Despite how it may have appeared from the outside, those first three years were rocky, but the lessons I learned have shaped who I am and how I approach my business today.

My first year as an entrepreneur just so happened to coincide with the arrival of my first son.

My husband and I had just moved to Traverse City from Seattle, fresh out of college, completely broke, drowning in student loans and nothing to go on but hope.

I took a job as a personal banker, which was a great opportunity, but not exactly what I had in mind for my first “career.” Knowing that my dream of becoming a wedding planner couldn’t be too far off, I spent nights and weekends tirelessly building my brand online. The same month I was intending to leave my day job to invest more energy into my business, I found out that another dream was coming true… I was pregnant.

Lesson #1: Clarify your priorities As most women do when they find out the news of their impending arrival, I was absolutely shocked, in disbelief and already completely in love with my baby. I made the decision to stick with my steady day job until he was born.

Fast forward nine months. I decided to take a huge risk and leave my steady bank position to pursue my dream of planning weddings and being a mother. That’s when I started my business: “Sincerely, Ginger.”

Rather than “ending my career,” as a baby often does, my son, Rowan, was the catalyst that made my priorities crystal clear. I was no longer afraid to take risks and put myself out there. The birth of my son gave me permission to declare to the world, my industry and myself… “This is who I am and what I want.”

Once I was clear about my business being a priority, I was able to secure enough wedding planning work to pull the financial weight I needed to for my family for an entire year. The first really important lesson I learned as a busi-

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Jan/Feb '17

RACHEL WITH HER HUSBAND ISAIAH AND SONS ROWAN AND BABY REMY.

ness owner was to clarify my priorities and take risks for what matters most.

The business took off faster than I ever could have imagined. From the outside, it looked like an overnight success. I was able to hire a team, afford childcare for Rowan (a faraway dream even six months prior) and was bringing in a six-figure revenue. Our clients were thrilled. We had fivestar online reviews and were booking more work all the time. Still, on the inside, I was struggling.

Lesson #2: Set boundaries Slowly it seemed as though my clients became more important to me than anything else. I had already forgotten the lesson I learned the year before. I was waking up at 6 a.m., answering e-mails, feeding my son breakfast, taking him to daycare, working a full day until 4, heading to the gym for an hour, picking up my son, feeding and bathing him before putting him down at 7.

From there, I had three meetings each evening at 7, 8 and 9 p.m. with clients over video conference. Sounds crazy doesn’t it? It was.

My husband was in school and working full time so I was essentially parenting on my own most days. Couple the crazy schedule with the winter blues, weaning my son from breastfeeding and having no time at all for recreation and I was the definition of a “hot mess.” With two very full

wedding seasons under my belt, I was starting to understand that time was passing, and quickly.

My son was ready 2! My husband was more than halfway through school to achieve his dream of becoming a physician’s assistant. I can humbly say that my husband and I are two of the hardest working people I know. But what was all of that hard work for? Something had to change.

My second year in business I learned that setting boundaries in order to take care of myself physically, mentally and emotionally is not a sign of weakness; it’s a strength.

No client was worth my rushing around night and day. I started with setting strict office hours, eliminating any work after 5 p.m. and incorporating daily self-care rituals. I began with elementary concepts such as drinking water, eating regular meals, expressing gratitude and setting time aside with my family every week.

Setting the time aside for myself allowed me to think more creatively and logically, and it dramatically reduced the amount of anxiety I had for not “being good enough” in my roles as wife, mother and business owner.

Lesson #3: Work to live By the time my third wedding season rolled around, I realized, although I loved my work and clients, I didn’t want to “live to work.” I wanted

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to work to LIVE! With that in mind, we decided to grow our family.

As with my first pregnancy, Setting boundaries my priorities were clarified once in order to take again. I was able to reduce my care of yourself client load by a third, and triple physically, mentally my pricing. (I definitely put that risk-taking lesson to work, but and emotionally is not was able to keep some boundaries a sign of weakness; in place to enjoy a healthy pregit’s a strength. nancy and a client load that was inspiring rather than overbearing.)

As an entrepreneur I learned how to design my business so it supported my life, not the other way around.

Advice

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Lesson #4: Learn to lean on people As I am writing this article, my younger son is almost five months old and I’m learning a fourth lesson: life will always throw you a curveball.

Most recently, I learned that my mom has breast cancer and is currently undergoing chemotherapy. When I found out the news, I honestly didn’t know how I was going to manage the emotional weight of the next year in the context of my very full life. I had just “figured out” how to manage my business and being a mom of two, and now THIS? I needed to help my mom and needed to keep my own balance too.

As life went on, we learned to “grow flowers from the dirt,” as they say.

What helped was learning to lean on people. I wouldn’t be able to do any of this without the support of my husband, our families or my team. What a gift it is to have a community of people who rally to support you, and you can support them in return.

Now I know, the hardships will continue to come, and the lessons will be learned as the months and years pass. The key, for me, is trying to find those lessons in the chaos of busy life. I have always had an introspective personality. As a result, some of my greatest strengths are my optimism and positivity.

Rachel Moger is the owner of Sincerely, Ginger Weddings, a wedding planning company. She lives with her husband, Isaiah, and two sons in the Traverse City area. She loves dry red wine, little black dresses and summertime on the water. She can be reached at hello.rachelelizabeth@gmail.com or through www.sincerelyginger.com

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w w w. S a r a h B r o w n - P h o t o g r a p h y. c o m

Jan/Feb '17 33

Grand Traverse Woman

7

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2 Word-of-mouth is more prevalent among women. Women are more likely to recommend to

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Jan/Feb '17

Grand Traverse WOMAN

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MAR/APRIL CAREER ISSUE!

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Grand Traverse Woman

THE TRUTH ABOUT

Female Stress Incontinence

BY CATHERINE VEESER AND TIFFANY BROERING-ROBBINS

IT’S NO SECRET

No matter the situation, leakage is never northat exercise is important mal and should not be overlooked. Typically, SUI and has amazing benefits. Unfortunately, many gets worse with time and though there are mediwomen find their fitness routine—and their cations and several continence aides available to life—hijacked by a frustrating and often embarmanage leakage, they don’t fix the underlying rassing problem: urine leakage. problem and are often just a temporary solution.

As physical therapists who have been treating pelvic floor dysfunction in women for years, we So, what is the answer? know there is a lot of confusion and misinformaYou might think Kegels, right? Kegel exercises tion on the subject. are often the first thing recommended for women So we’re here to give you the honest lowwith SUI. Though this exercise can improve and down on your “down there.” prevent leakage in some women, it will only Stress urinary incontinence (SUI) is a term work if the cause is weakness from overstretched used to describe the type of leakage that occurs muscles. If the muscles are already tight from in response to increased abdominal pressure durover-activity, Kegels could actually make leakage ing activities such as exercise, coughing, sneezworse. ing, or laughing. This type A client came to our office recently of incontinence occurs with severe SUI. Despite doing 300 in nearly 50 percent of Kegels per day she was still leaking. women. So, even if you Upon examination, this client was No matter the don’t leak, it’s likely that found to have extreme pelvic floor the lady next to you does. situation, leakage over-activity. For her, Kegels were not To understand why is never normal the right type of exercise to fix her leakage occurs you must and should not be leakage because her pelvic floor was first understand how you already tight. Once she learned how stay dry. overlooked. to relax the muscles so that the pelvic As children, we learn floor could work effectively with the to respond to bladder bladder, her leakage resolved. urges by “holding it,” She was able to resume her exercise routine which is actually tightening a group of muscles and stop using pads for the first time in 10 years! known as the pelvic floor. These muscles sit at The take-home message: Kegel’s are not the the base of the pelvis. One of their jobs is to conanswer for everyone. trol the urge to urinate and close the urethra so urine stays in the bladder.

When the pelvic floor works in harmony with A better solution: Your core the bladder, you stay dry. When you leak, it’s a A better solution is to restore your core. We sign that the relationship between the pelvic floor now understand that the pelvic floor does not and the bladder is not working properly. work alone. It is just one part of a system—the So why does this happen? Common risk faccore muscle system. tors include: vaginal childbirth (especially with Think about your core like a house. The forceps), obesity, constipation, chronic cough, walls of the house are made up of the transverse aging and surgery to the abdomen, pelvis, hips or abdominals in the front and the multifidi in the back. However, leakage can also occur in young back. The roof of the house is the diaphragm and otherwise healthy women and those who and the base is the pelvic floor. If one of these have never had children. supports is not functioning properly it puts more

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Jan/Feb '17

stress on the other parts and eventually they wear down.

In the same way, the pelvic floor muscles can be unnecessarily stressed if other parts of the core muscle system are dysfunctional. Therefore, in addition to addressing the pelvic floor, the remaining parts of the system must be considered if leakage is occurring.

To make your whole core muscle system work for you, consider these factors…

■ Posture is often one of the first things addressed with our clients. Proper posture aligns your core muscles and helps them work well together.

To achieve proper posture, align your ribcage directly over your pelvis and make sure your low back has a gentle inward curve. Avoid squeezing your buttocks, overarching your back and “sucking in” your belly.

■ Breathing is equally important. Surprisingly, an alarming number of women we see breathe improperly. A common mistake women make when breathing in is “sucking in” the belly, which blocks normal movement of the diaphragm.

Normally, when you breathe in your belly should round out and your chest should rise. When you breathe out, your chest sinks and your belly gently flattens. Practice this regularly.

■ Contracting and relaxing is imperative to developing proper muscle training in the pelvic floor, the foundation of your core muscle system.

Unfortunately, as many as 50 percent of women incorrectly contract and relax their pelvic floor.

How do you know if you’re doing it right? Try the mirror test. Take a mirror and look at the perineum (the area between the vagina and anus). Don’t gasp! Every woman should be familiar with this part of her body. Contract your pelvic floor by imagining you are stopping the flow of urine or holding back gas. Do this as you exhale to coordi-

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Grand Traverse Woman nate with the movement of the diaphragm. When you contract you should see the perineum lift upward and your vagina and anus squeeze closed.

When you relax the reverse should happen. Let yourself rest for a few seconds before contracting again, and make sure that when you contract, the butt and inner thighs do not participate.

Not seeing the perineum move? You may have pelvic floor over-activity.

If you are also experiencing urinary urgency or frequency, difficulty starting the flow of urine, constipation and/or painful intercourse, you could benefit from supervised treatment. Ask your gynecologist about this.

■ Constipation can result in full bowels that push up against the bladder and chronic straining can over-stretch the pelvic floor. Get in the right position to go. Elevate your feet on a foot stool with knees apart when sitting on the toilet. This helps relax your pelvic floor. For dietary concerns, work with a physician or nutritionist.

■ Exercise in harmony. For great examples of how to properly train your core, check out You Tube and search for “Hab-It” and “MuTu System.” You can also practice the Knack Maneuver aka “squeeze when you sneeze.” To do, simply perform a quick, voluntary pelvic floor muscle contraction anytime there is an increase in downward pressure over your bladder (i.e. rising from a squat, lifting a weight, hitting or kicking a ball, etc).

CATHERINE VEESER

Catherine Veeser PT, WCS is a board-certified women’s health clinical specialist and has treated pelvic floor dysfunction for 12 years.

Tiffany Broering-Robbins DPT, MS, is a physical therapist certified in the treatment of pelvic floor dysfunction through the American Physical Therapy Association. Both women will be practicing at Orthopedic 360 Physical Therapy as of Jan. 30, located in The Village Commons at 830 Cottageview Drive in Traverse City. For questions or to schedule an appointment please call 231.486.6368.

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For additional help, consider avoiding the following…

■ Straining. Protect your pelvic floor during exercise and any other activity. Straining over-stretches the pelvic floor and weakens it.

■ Over-exercising your upper abdominals. Think of your abdomen like a balloon. If you squeeze the top of the balloon the bottom bulges out.

Similarly, over-developing the upper abdominals puts a lots of pressure on the lower abdomen, bladder and pelvic floor. It also contributes to the dreadful lower belly pouch that no amount of exercise seems to cure. It is not a fat problem, it is a pressure problem.

■ Bladder irritants. Be aware that things such as caffeine, carbonation, alcohol, smoke, artificial sweeteners and antihistamines (Benadryl) are some of the most common bladder irritants. Minimize your exposure and see if it helps.

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Having a strong, flexible and coordinated core muscle system is the most important thing you can do to prevent and reduce urine leakage and keep you moving for life. For more information on SUI and how a physical therapist can help, go to www.womenshealthapta.org/patients.

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www.grandtraversewoman.com

Jan/Feb '17 37

Grand Traverse Woman

Overcoming childhood trauma FROM VERY EARLY INFANCY, my brain had already been wired to be constantly

beating the

ODDS

BY CATHY FIALON

hypersensitive to possible threats. Before I was 4 weeks old, I experienced two of ten “Adverse Childhood Experiences,” as clinical studies would later define.

I was born to a 17 year old who struggled with mental illness, experimented with drugs and had survived being sexually abused as a child by her estranged father. At 16 years old, when she discovered she was pregnant she was sent across the state (Iowa) to live with a foster family. While pregnant, this teen fanaticized about keeping and raising me. She had frequent visits at her foster home by her two brothers, one of them her twin. They were living at Boys Town across the river, in Omaha, Neb. They consoled her, worried for her and helped lift her spirits. She was admitted to the hospital the day before I was born and endured a long, agonizing labor.

When I finally emerged to greet the world, the nurse asked my birth mom if she wanted to hold her new daughter. She refused. She told the nurse she didn’t want to see me. She knew in her heart if she saw me she would never be able to give me up.

So I was whisked away from the only heartbeat I knew. A week later I was sent to live with a foster family until my adoption details could be finalized, usually a two- to three-month process. However, my foster family was not happy with me. They made that very clear to the adoption agency. Apparently, because of some of the drugs my birth mom had taken, I had “issues.” I needed to be given medication regularly. And I didn’t tolerate formula well, leading to projectile vomiting. The decision was made that I was to be moved as quickly as possible.

My first few weeks of life were shaping up to be pretty rough: no mother’s

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Candy Winn describes her mom, Veronica Ramos, as her best friend. They love doing things together, and these days that includes shopping, hiking, cross-country skiing and other fun outdoor activities.

Weight loss surgery dramatically changed both of their lives.

“Veronica and Candy are doing fabulously because they are following all of the necessary steps to achieve and maintain good health.

I am proud of them and excited about the great results they are getting.”

– Michael A. Nizzi, DO

Veronica had her surgery first. As Candy watched her mother’s sleep apnea vanish and her life improve in every way, she decided it was right for her, too. “It’s the hardest thing you will ever do, but it’s the most life-changing and rewarding decision you will make,” she said.

It all began by attending a bariatric seminar. Are you ready for a change?

Bariatric Surgery Seminars Tuesday, January 10 | 6 - 8 pm Tuesday, February 21 | 6 - 8 pm Traverse City: Munson Medical Center, Conference Room 1-3, Lower Level Also available at other locations via video conference.

To learn more or to register for an upcoming seminar, call 800-533-5520, or visit munsonhealthcare.org/bariatrics.

Photo: Veronica Ramos with her daughter Candy Winn

38

Jan/Feb '17

www.grandtraversewoman.com

Grand Traverse Woman

“My first few weeks of life were shaping up to be pretty rough: no mother’s embrace, no cooing and delight.” embrace, no cooing and delight. I was an inconvenience and only deserved to have my basic needs met. Things didn’t improve.

With my foster-care family fed up, they relinquished my care early. The adoption agency contacted my soon-to-be-adoptive parents and asked if they were prepared for an expedited process. But they hadn’t received final approval.

In limbo, I was sent to another new place to live, a children’s group home. I was less than a month old. At a time in my life when my brain needed to focus on attachment and seeking comfort, I had neither.

Science now informs us that the kind of adversity I experienced can be devastating in childhood and later in life. Dr. Vincent Felitti, the lead physician for an obesity clinic in San Diego, Calif., recognized a trend in his patients who struggled most to lose weight. They all had experienced what he defined as “childhood adversity.” He called these Adverse Childhood Experiences or ACES. Interested in his hypothesis, the Centers for Disease Control (CDC ) and Dr. Robert Anda partnered to conduct a study of 17,000 adults in Southern California. What they found was that those adults who had four or more “ACES” had negative adult health outcomes. They were more likely to have heart diseases, diabetes, cancers, obesity and addictions. Plus, they were more likely to die 20 years earlier than their peers.

You’ve probably heard that when adversity strikes, the brain will jump into a fight/flight/ freeze/submit mode.

For example, if I was walking along the Leelanau Trail and a bear crashed out of the bushes toward me, then my brain—without my evaluating—would flip into survival mode. In this mode, chemicals are released to give me super-human

strength and speed. My higher-level brain functions, like planning and organizing, shut down. I feel nauseous because the released chemicals tell my body this is not time to eat, there is a bear in front of me!

Those chemicals are life saving in the short term, but our bodies are not made to endure them long term.

It’s even worse for a child’s brain, which is developing rapidly, constantly integrating and evaluating new information.

When a child is faced with adversity, the brain develops in such a way that it thinks trauma-mode is the norm. The brain gets stuck in that mode, constantly releasing chemicals. The damage to the body can be severe.

On paper, my traumatic childhood should have resulted in an unhappy adulthood. Luckily for me, that wasn’t the case. I have a successful professional career, a supportive spouse and family. I enjoy a healthy, well-lived life.

Mornings have special meaning for me. Every morning one of my first actions is to take five minutes and write out all of the things for which I am grateful. Next, I head outside, all weather conditions, and walk or run—up to 3 miles—under the stars in the fall/winter and as the sun is rising in the spring/summer. In the morning I know I have a day of undiscovered possibilities ahead … Another day filled with moments to live and breathe in all I have been given.

I guess you could say I am resilient. So how did I escape my brain being stuck in trauma mode?

To find the answer I had to look for research once again. What I found: Harvard’s Center for the Developing Child studied why some children manage adversity without long-lasting impacts and others do not. They found children who are

Advice

Every morning one of my first actions is to take five minutes and write out all of the things for which I am grateful. Next, I head outside... I know I have a day of undiscovered possibilities ahead.

Dr. Cathy Fialon has dedicated her life’s work to improving the lives of others through education, advocacy and action. She is the CEO for Good Harbor Institute, “Where human potential and resilience are built.” She works with leaders and educators in business, K-12, higher education, human service organizations and government organizations to maximize human potential and enhance service. She currently lives in Cedar. She received her PhD in Criminal Justice. She invites anyone to join her the first Wednesday of every month, 7:30 a.m. at Horizon Books in the Sunshine Cafe located in downtown Traverse City for “Resilience Coffee,” a grassroots, no-agenda opportunity to discuss childhood adversity and building resilience across the lifespan in Northern Michigan and beyond. Dr. Cathy Fialon can be reached at kayaker2000@gmail.com.

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This new kids’ book features fun foods from 50+ local farms!

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www.grandtraversewoman.com

resilient to adversity had access to one of the following: 1) At least one positive, stable adult relationship; 2) The sense of being a part of a cultural tradition or faith community; 3) A mastered skill that provided a sense of confidence.

Looking back, I had two positive, stable adults in my life: my adoptive parents. Plus, I was raised in a positive faith community and in a cultural tradition. Research shows that only one of these interventions is needed to create healthy pathways in a child’s developing brain, essentially fending off the negative impacts of Adverse Childhood Experiences. I got lucky.

We as a community can provide these powerful interventions for our children. I’m passionate about providing opportunity to build resilience in all children so they too can beat the odds.

I am forever grateful for my parents, Bob and Vick Anthofer and for the patience, love and stability they provided. I am also forever grateful to my birth mother for making the brave and difficult choice not to see me when I was born and to give me up for adoption.

My life didn’t get off to the easiest start, but now I’m so thankful for what I have learned along the way.

Testimonial Dear GTWoman, I’ve said it before~ I love your magazine.

I enjoy your adventures as sisters, Yoopers, young moms, and business folks. Most of all I enjoy the various stories that show us how powerful all of us women are in the face of adversities and challenges. We all have our own paths, bumps (and potholes) in the road, detours, yet somehow we persevere!

Thanks for reminding us we’re all on this journey together!

Continued success!

Carol Morris

Breeze Hill Greenhouse Traverse City, MI 49684

Jan/Feb '17 39

Grand Traverse Woman

Grand Traverse

my experience as a seasoned construction manager to bring creative vision to the real-estate process.” Perez can be reached at the Century 21 Northland office.

231.929.7900, 231.642.1805, Nan. perez@c21northland.com

WOMAN IN BUSINESS NEW Melissa Cole has joined Grand Traverse Woman Magazine as administrative assistant. She moved to Traverse City two years ago after graduation from Grand Valley State University with a degree in general management and accounting. Melissa enjoys spending time with her Yorkie, exploring new hiking trails and visiting the many restaurants the area offers. She is involved in the Big Brothers Big Sisters program. Her favorite activity to do with her Little Sister is geocaching. www.grandtraversewoman.com Marcia Jones has joined the team at Bayview Flooring and Design Center/Cash and Carry Flooring in Traverse City. She has

been working in the Interior Design and Building industry for the last 20 years, starting in East Lansing and continuing after moving to the Traverse City area eight years ago. Jones has spent her time in Traverse City working with builders, assisting their clients with the selection process and designing the interiors of their homes. She has also had the opportunity to work with Caleb Norris / Norris Designs, where she took the design process with her clients from beginning to end. www. bayviewflooring.com Century 21 Northland welcomes Nan Perez as a new agent. A Traverse City native, Perez has degrees in engineering and construction: “I’m experienced with remodeling, relocation, income properties, first-time home purchases, upgrading and even downsizing. So buyers can rely on

Food For Thought (FFT), an organic specialty foods company, has gone live with its new website: www.foodforthought. net. Food For Thought has specialized in organic wine and herb-infused preserves, sauces and condiments since 1995. “The new Food For Thought site is visually engaging and informative. Customers will learn about our quality products and have company background to inform their decision to buy,” said Felicia Topp, FFT’s project manager of the website rebuilt by Traverse City web design and marketing company Binary Trail. Food For Thought’s fruit preserves were the first Fair Trade certified in the country. www. foodforthought.net Traverse City SCORE recently welcomed the following business mentors to the chapter’s roster of volunteers: Joan Cowley Ursu, J.D. is an attorney and advanced planning consultant with

Intentional Wealth Advisors and a graduate of Michigan State University and the Wayne State Law School. She works with entrepreneurs and business owners to achieve their strategic planning goals. Lori Piggott is a financial advisor with Edward Jones, who helps clients to build and maintain wealth using tailored financial solutions. She has experience with business start-ups, non-profits, marketing, and investment strategies. Donna Probes has 40 years experience as an arts and nonprofit administrator, including serving as executive director of the Traverse City Chamber of Commerce Foundation until 2009. She founded the Grand River Folk Arts Center in 1975 and served as a director at Interlochen Center for the Arts.

She is a motion picture executive producer, and owner of Upper Midwest Educational Videos. Ann McPhail has more than 30 years experience developing IT systems,

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40

Jan/Feb '17

www.grandtraversewoman.com

Grand Traverse Woman improving business processes and leading teams. She worked at the International Monetary Fund in Washington, DC, for 25 years and served in the U.S. Peace Corps after graduating from Michigan State University.

TBA Credit Union announces that Katie O’Connor, former service center representative, has been promoted to a member service specialist. O’Connor earned an Associates in Applied Science and Arts Degree from Northwestern Michigan College and is currently working toward a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Organizational Management from Spring Arbor University. She has over four years experience working in customer service.

“We are excited for Katie’s continued growth with TBACU,” said Abby Smith, TBA Credit Union human resources director. 231.946.7090, tbacu.com State Savings Bank has named Pat Hendges as assistant vice president and manager of its Empire office. She takes the reigns from Shirley Lawson, who recently retired after 15 years of service. A lifelong Northern Michigan resident, Hendges brings 27 years of banking experience to

her new position. She will oversee dayto-day operations of the office and also handle consumer loan requests. She can be reached at 231.326.4006 or phendges@ ssbankmi.com. State Savings Bank was established in Frankfort in 1901. The bank has loan centers in Traverse City, Gaylord and Grayling, an investment services office in Traverse City, and banking offices in Frankfort and Empire. www.ssbankmi. com, email online@ssbankmi.com The Zonta Club of Traverse City is the new host organization for the ATHENA Grand Traverse Award. The ATHENA Leadership Award honors individuals who excel in their profession, devote time and energy to their community and forge paths of leadership for women to follow. The leadership award has been presented to a local leader since 1995. Zonta works to advance the status of women worldwide through service and advocacy. Former ATHENA Grand Traverse co-chair, Rachel Jarosz said, “We are thrilled for the Zonta Club of Traverse City to take on this prestigious award and program. The Zonta mission and ATHENA tenets align and we couldn’t have found a better fit to carry on the history and continue to recognize the amazing leaders that are in our community.” http:// zontacluboftraversecity.org

Marie Sarchet is the new program coordinator of I-CAN College Access Network.

Sarchet is responsible for coordinating college access resources in a strategic, efficient and accountable manner in Antrim and Kalkaska counties, said Amy Burk, I-CAN Steering Committee representative and Communities in Schools of Northwest Michigan executive director. Formed to increase the post secondary educational rates of students in Antrim and Kalkaska counties, I-CAN is a collaborative group of regional community agencies, businesses, educational institutions, nonprofit organizations, and foundations. “It is up to I-CAN to show the significant difference post-secondary education will make in students’ lives. It’s a game changer, more now than ever,” said Sarchet. Sarchet attended Michigan Technological University and has a BSBA degree from Eastern Michigan University, and an MBA from Northwood University. Sarchet, her husband and three sons, reside in Otsego County.

Michelle Rodriguez has launched Amor Comida, a personal chef/catering company that specializes in multi-cultural

food, locally sourced ingredients & food photography/styling services. Previously, Rodriguez worked at Blackstar Farms, Cooks House, and As You Dish. She is now using the commercial kitchen located at Gilbert lodge/Twin Lakes Park. She said, "I helped inspire them to start using their facilities as an incubator kitchen for small companies." Learn more at facebook.com/ amorcomida. 248.514.9299, michelle@ amorcomida.com.

One Oak Bride announces the opening of their new bridal boutique specializing in designer dresses for the unconventional, fashion-forward and one-of-a-kind bride.

“At One Oak Bride, you’ll find designer dresses for brides and bridesmaids, and accessories to finish the look. While new to Traverse City, our vibe is prominent in Northern Michigan. Natural beauty, the bohemian spirit, and the drive to throw a good party are all undertones of our shop’s aesthetic,” said co-owner Renee Sovis. A Grand Opening Happy Hour will be held Sunday, Jan. 8 from 4 to 6 p.m., immediately following the Downtown Bridal Expo at The City Opera House.

To learn more about One Oak Bride, contact co-owners Renee Sovis and Annie Zimmerman at 231.252.4606, hello@ oneoakbride.com, oneoakbride.com.

NEW DATE: SATURDAY MARCH 11, 2017 you hold the power to change lives . benefitting women and FAMILIES at the goodwill inn

SILENT AUCTION • TASTY BRUNCH TICKETS in advance AT GOODWILLNMI.ORG/POWER

MARCH 11 9:30-NOON

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THANK YOU TO OUR 2017 PRESENTING SPONSOR:

www.grandtraversewoman.com

Jan/Feb '17 41

Grand Traverse Woman PB&J announces that it has hired Amy Lewis as account manager.

In her new role, Lewis will work closely with agency clients to develop and enhance their brands and businesses through strategic marketing. She will be the lead account executive and project manager for several of the agency’s clients. Prior to joining PB&J, Lewis held a similar account executive role at Clockwork Integrated Marketing, Traverse City. Lewis received her Bachelor of Business Administration Degree from Grand Valley State University.

PB&J is an award-winning Traverse Citybased ad agency serving local, regional and national clients. The agency has received over 20 awards from the American Advertising Federation in just the past two years.

Rebecca Yodzio has opened PakMall in the newly remodeled Northwoods Office Express, the office supply center and commercial print shop, formerly known as TC Office Express, 3311 S. Airport Rd W., Traverse City. PakMall offers pack-and-ship services, including

overnight to ground options with FedEx, UPS and US Mail for both domestic and international destinations. They also offer a full line of shipping products, from every size box to padded and plain envelopes.

Additionally, the store sells post office box rentals for individuals who work out of their home, live in a temporary housing situation or anyone who prefers not to give out their home address. Store hours are Monday–Friday 7:30 a.m. to 6 p.m. and Saturday 9 a.m. to 5 p.m., 231.932.0622.

Owned and operated by Jennifer LaCharite, LaCharite Properties recently launched a full-service real estate boutique brokerage. LaCharite is a native to Traverse City and has been in the real estate business for more than 17 years. Her experience is in residential, commercial and property management. “After working for some of the larger real estate firms for over 17 years I felt it was time to follow through with my own dreams. It has been a passion of mine to provide my clients with a specialized business model that is centered on customer service and professionalism,” said LaCharite. 231.645.2257, info@ lachariteproperties.com

Copper Ridge Dental welcomes Melissa Geetings, as their new clinical coordinator.

Geetings is a registered dental hygienist with a background in business. She said her desire to be involved in practice management led her to Copper Ridge Dental. Copper Ridge Dental services clients of all ages and specializes in preventive, restorative and quality of life dental services, located across from the West Middle School on Silver Lake Road.

231.946.2497, www.copperridgedental. com

KUDOS Lisa Maxbauer Price, author of Squash Boom Beet, recently attended a ceremony in Florida where her book was awarded the bronze medal in children’s non-fiction from the Readers’ Favorite International Book Awards Contest, part of the Miami Book Fair. She also won the event’s highest prize, a representation package from Washington, DC-based media relations firm Allen Media, who will now handle her book’s marketing. Allen

Media selected Lisa’s book out of 5,000 entries, 300 medalists and 10 finalists. You can buy the book locally at Horizon Books, Press On Juice and Oryana. You can also order online at www.squashboombeet.com or on Amazon.

TBA Credit Union has donated $8,000 to Traverse City Area Public Schools (TCAPS). The funds will support more than 400 educators participating in the Darkness to Light training program. “TBACU was founded by a group of Traverse City educators in 1955 and we strive to keep education as a focus within our organization,” said Karen Browne, CEO. “The safety of our students is our number one priority,” said Paul Soma, TCAPS superintendent. “Darkness to Light training provides critical information about the steps we can take to prevent, recognize, and react responsibly to the reality of child sexual abuse.” 231.946.7090, tbacu.com

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Through the Cleaning For Reason Foundation, we are pleased to donate up to four free cleanings for women undergoing cancer treatment. Visit www.cleaningforareason.org

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Jan/Feb '17

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www.grandtraversewoman.com

Grand Traverse Woman Debbie Craig CFP, MBA, CRPS was invited by the Financial Planning Association (FPA) to participate in the Michigan Advocacy Day. Craig was able to meet with the Michigan State Legislature to discuss the importance of the FPA. The Financial Planning Association (FPA) works in partnership with academic leaders, regulatory and legislative bodies, financial service firms and consumer interest groups to advance the practice and profession of financial planning.

Craig Wealth Advisors is an independent firm. Securities offered through Raymond James Financial Services, Inc. Member FINRA/SIPC. 2915 Garfield Rd. N., Suite A, Traverse City, 231.943.2920, www. craigwealthadvisors.com Grand Traverse Area Legal Professionals, a non-profit organization, has named Jennifer Stratton, ALP, the 2016 Legal Professional of the Year. Stratton is a legal secretary with Traverse City law firm Smith Haughey Rice & Roegge. Stratton has been a member of GTALP for four years, and she currently serves as its secretary. Grand Traverse Area Legal Professionals is part of NALS, a trilevel association. GTALP members live and work throughout the tri-county area.

Membership is open to people working in the legal field. For more information, contact Jodi Velez, CLP, Jarboe & Pfeil, 160 E. State St., Suite 202, Traverse City, 231.922.3452, jvelez@jarboelawtc.com Sue Adkins, program director for Workers on Wheels through Goodwill of Northern Michigan, recently accepted the Hagerty Insurance Community Partnership Grant for her program that provides donated cars to people in need. The award is worth $25,000.

The 2016 Grand Traverse Pavilions Foundation Gala returned to Northern Michigan in October, transporting guests back in time to 1916, to support a noble cause, bringing PACE, Program of Allinclusive Care for the Elderly to Northern Michigan. “We were excited to bring the Gala back,” said Deborah Allen, executive director of the foundation. With the support of our sponsors, donors, and guests, the evening raised $52,000 for the campaign for PACE.” Grand Traverse Pavilions Medical Director Dr. Mark Jackson and his wife Deb Jackson, Gala Committee chairwoman and a trustee of the Grand Traverse Pavilions Foundation Board, played host and hostess (“Earl and Countess”) for the evening. The Hagerty Center was transformed into a 1916 royal estate for the event, which concluded with the reveal of the winner of the Timeless Treasures raffle featuring a $1,100 Cameo donated by CC Jewelers, won by guest Sue Gresens. Next year’s Gala will be held the weekend of Sept. 9 and 10 to coincide with Grandparents’ Day. Established in 1997, The Foundation oversees the development and fundraising endeavors of The Grand Traverse Pavilions. Contributions to the Foundation are directed at those programs and services that are not funded by traditional reimbursement.

EVENTS Glass Artz Studio, 441 E. Front St., Traverse City, will host an Open House Weekend launching their expanded art gallery and art class schedule. Friday, Jan. 13, 5 to 9 p.m., Saturday and Sunday, Jan. 14-15, 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. Owner Debra Coburn, as well as other local women artists, will be on hand to present their work, including glass art, paintings, ceramics, mosaics and more.

Glass Artz is an artist’s studio, gallery and classroom. www.facebook.com/glassartz

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EVENTS GTWOMAN NETWORK NITE Wednesday, Jan. 11, Image360, 5–7pm HOT COCOA, WINE, CHOCOLATE & PJs Baby It’s Cold Outside! Join us for a night of meeting other women in the area, catching up with old friends and having a little downtime together after the holidays.

THEME: You can come straight from work or straight from the couch - wear your cutest PJs or fuzziest slippers for the evening. (PJs are not required but will be met with appreciative howls and hoots.)

FOOD & MUSIC: Enjoy delicious appetizers by Graystone Catering, amazing cake by Aunt B and music by Executive Sounds.

PRIZES: Attendees are also welcome to donate a prize. Put a face to the name of your business.

Limited to 10 women. To be on the giveaway list, email kandace@grandtraversewoman.com. Prize for best dressed and a grand prize of $200 will be provided by Image360 by random drawing.

LOCATION: Image360, 1702 Barlow St., Traverse City, www.image360.com TICKETS: Tickets are $15 each or 2/$20. Thank you to our Corporate Sponsor Credit Union One and Supporting Sponsors Precision Plumbing & Heating, GT Resort & Spa, Deerhaven Dentistry, Z93 and TV 7&4. Visit www.grandtraversewoman.com to join us!

GTWOMAN LUNCHEON Wednesday, Feb. 8, “YOU 2.0!” Speaker: Leslie Hamp Get ready to launch YOU 2.0! If you’re ready to make a change and take things to the next level at work or at home, you don’t want to miss our best luncheon ever! The trick is unlocking the creative project or dream that you just can’t seem to forget about…perhaps it’s to write a book, tackle an art project, attend a re­treat, start a freelance gig or establish a non-profit? We all have a secret passion project, but many of us are too busy or too fearful to know how to take the first step and move into action.

Trust us; you’re not alone. And we brought help. Leslie Hamp, Creative Catalyst, is on a mission to help women with their passion project—that one thing that will make each of us feel more alive!

What’s passion got to do with it? Everything! And Leslie will show you how.

Over lunch, she’ll help you:

• Identify a passion project and how it can transform your business and life

• Avoid the top 5 reasons people fail to turn their ideas into reality

• Follow the 4-step process to start moving toward results Leslie Hamp (www.lesliehamp.com) is a Creative Catalyst and Licensed Passion Project Facilitator who works with people in life transitions. She provides the clar­ity and support needed to navigate the path of change and obtain more energy, fulfillment, creativity, fun and success in life.

The luncheon is 11 a.m. to 1 p.m. at the Hagerty Center in Traverse City. We also have vendor booths available at the event for $185 (includes 2 lunch tix). Thank you to our series sponsors GTOC and Chemical Bank, and our supporting sponsors TV 9&10, Lite 96, Fox Grand Traverse, Northwood Animal Hospital, Sarah Brown Photography and SCORE. Lunch tickets are $30 or 2 for $50.

Visit www.grandtraversewoman.com for tickets and to sign up to be a vendor.

Need design work? Shop local.

HINT:

I’M A LOCAL

very local B EAT H AN Y neighborhood designer.

D E S I GBethany N Gulde 231.645.1072 bethany.gulde@gmail.com

BETHANY DESIGN

www.bethanydesigntc.com

Jan/Feb '17 43

Grand Traverse Woman

trouble (in the) hood 1511

BY KERRY WINKLER

50 FIRST DRIVES TARGET IS IN SIGHT!

MAX

turns 16 in January and he’s learning to drive. For those new to this game (like me) the first wakeup call was the 50 hours that Max had to log for Segment 1 as a new driver with parental guidance.

At first glance, I thought 50 hours didn’t seem bad. That meant 50 hours we could spend bonding as mother and son. What a gift! We all know how precious that time is, right? The first few drives were literally around the block, checking mirrors, turn signals and differentiating between the pedals.

Then we were ready to start logging the time.

We set off enthusiastically. Spirits were high. My patience at top-notch level. Start, stop, start again.

Left, right, straight. We drove for what seemed like hours as my patience wore thin and thinner with each sway around a corner.

When we called it quits and proudly looked at the time meter…it only said 17 minutes.

Something must be wrong. I must have more staying power than 17 minutes for teaching and bonding? But that’s when I realized we might not be bonding as much as spiking my blood pressure with each sloooow and wavering turn he made.

These 50 hours might require a bit more effort than I thought.

It was really a blessing, though, this turtle phase with him being nice and slow at the wheel.

Max was cautious and open to learning. We drove the back roads, finding all the deserted lanes with lots of room to get the feel of the car. I started to relax as he became more confident and I trusted his instincts more. I decided it was time to up the game a little. He was ready for the highway. (In hindsight, I was the one not ready.)

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And so the highway miles began, a trip to Cadillac. A trip to Kingsley, then Grayling. Then we moved onto more traffic, into the heart of Traverse City and lots of traffic decisions. Of all things, this tried my patience the most as I sat in the passenger seat of the car slightly exasperated with yet another slow 45 mph trip to my beloved Target.

Then one Saturday morning, Max suddenly found the gas pedal. With a good burst of speed, he made a deft left turn into traffic as smooth as could be, Target quickly approaching at a regulated 55 mph. At first I was too startled to do anything but apply the air brakes and gasp. I thought, Should I say anything? After all, he did exactly what I would’ve done with plenty of room and perfect timing …and I admit it did cross my mind that we were going to make Target in under 20 minutes….hmmmm. I stayed silent. It was time to let him figure it out for himself.

Ha, I had you there! Of course I yelled at him to slow down! (Target wasn’t that important!)

Next up on the patience factor was contending with Brook, who, at age 11, proved to be a chatty backseat driver with excellent timing and wit with her advice.

Add in the constant arguing of who got the shotgun seat (despite the law that I had to sit up front with Max while he was learning) made for my hair turning a bit more gray with each trip to town.

Then came the day Max finally got frustrated with me (and Brook) and after yet more instruction, calmly delivered to me a “Fine, you drive” comment. I was indignant

with the “how dare he” and the “how could he say such a thing” thoughts running through my head.

But this was a long time coming. After all, even I was tired of my constant jabbering of right turns on red, pedestrians with right away and obvious exclamations of “Watch out!” And I had even been known to fiddle with the windshield wipers while he was driving (but, come on, wipers on dry glass drives anyone crazy!). So, I relented…I let him work the wipers and stayed quiet as he made (good) decisions. Really, I did this time.

The hours are ticking away with each drive and we are at a whopping 31 hours after six months. I know, the math shows an average of five hours/month but they are like dog years…. one hour feels like seven!

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Grand Traverse Woman

momma 1412

BY KANDACE CHAPPLE WWW.KANDACECHAPPLE.COM

BLACK FRIDAY

Shopping THE BOYS wanted to go Black Friday Shopping.

It was music to my ears. I had spent the last decade bribing them to shop with me (soft pretzels, Hot Wheels, you know the gig) but had never really made any headway with them. After growing up shopping with my mother, then losing her, I was slowly coming to the realization that the good ol’ days of shopping were over.

Until…

Kendall asked for an Xbox One for his birthday in October.

My “No!” boomed through the house, bouncing off the Wii system in the living room. “You don’t need another game system,” I said. Case closed.

But a week later, as he counted up his birthday money, he realized he had half of what he needed to buy his own. Several mowed lawns, raked leaves and loads of laundry later, Grandma Patte and I had unwittingly funded the rest of the Xbox dream.

Offering him my sage advice to get a deal, he waited impatiently for the Black Friday flyers.

Then, there it was: his dream machine on sale at Target.

I felt a little butterfly of excitement. I liked a challenge.

Yes, we would go.

Alas, the sale started the evening of Thanksgiving Day. Egads! you are thinking. But due to some technicalities, we were not having our typical T-day at my Dad’s. Instead, we’d already done a TurkeyDay Trot and consumed an enormous, delicious Thanksgiving Day lunch.

And for the first time in 42 years, I found myself with a Thursday evening open and one child quite willing to stand in line for an hour in the cold.

Enter Child No. 2. Not to be left out, Nelson scratched together $15 from various corners of his own wallet and eyed a scooter that was on sale.

My husband, Tim, with some pressure, agreed

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to be our driver/getaway car.

The store opened at 6 p.m.

We arrived at 4:45 and took our place in line.

Only 25 people ahead of us! Still, I warned the boys, they could all be Xbox nutters so don’t get too excited. (But on the inside, I was excited.)

So the wait began. And this is always where the stories start.

Sure enough, we weren’t there 15 minutes before I saw, could it be, a flying red… camp chair, sailing out over the curb into the parking lot.

A scuffle was underway.

I couldn’t quite make out the cause but, for sure, it was about cutting in line. It always was.

There are typically a few people who sit in their (warm) cars and then squeeze into the line at the last second.

Sure enough, a short woman in a white coat shot out of the crowd and headed back to her car parked in the front row. She was screaming “your country!” at someone and, seemingly, leaving her chair behind.

We all wondered what planet she was from not to understand line-standing protocol. (Although I had to agree that this was, indeed, a very American thing to be doing.) She left with an icy squeal. The boys gave me a sidelong glance. I answered with a short lecture on traveling in pairs and not talking to strangers.

Next, a very nice gal from Target came out with her walkie-talkie and ponytail and said they would not open the store if there were any other altercations. I didn’t really think she stood a chance against corporate America but I liked her pizzazz.

After that, things quieted down. I used the time like any good mother would and taught my children how to read a map. A lifelong skill thrown in to counteract the nagging sense that Black Friday was not a good idea. To alleviate my guilt, I also went over courtesy and manners. Kendall might have wanted an Xbox, but he was going to get it calmly and politely.

MOMENTS BEFORE THE CHAIR WAS THROWN.

As the line got longer and the night darker, I finally tucked into the magic of the moment. Sure, it was preposterous to let them buy something a month before Christmas (as my driver kept pointing out) but I was in the glow of retail therapy. I missed my mom so much at times like this—with a full heart, a purse big enough to carry a water, and a coat light enough that I wouldn’t sweat while shopping.

So I spent the time regaling them with stories of Black Fridays past. Like the time their aunts and I stood in line at Toys R Us for an hour outside in cold weather, 10 below at least, maybe 20, then got inside and found the line snaking through every last aisle. And how we decided to shop anyway, fearless and got all of our goodies and got in line.

Another hour later, we did some quick math and realized we were really only saving about $15 each and left without a thing, except the giggles.

Or the time that I had a “Tickle Me Elmo” for Kendall picked out at Meijer, the last one off the shelf. And as I walked (calmly) through the store to the checkout, I passed a woman who, without looking at me, reached in and snatched it out of my cart right in front of me!

“Did you punch her?” they asked, hanging on my every word.

“No,” I replied in my warm, motherly glow, “but I should have.”

It was about then that the Target doors opened.

Everyone was civil and polite and not another chair was thrown.

We proceeded briskly back to “Electronics,” where Kendall calmly picked up an Xbox One at $50 off with a $40 Target card included. Victory!

Meanwhile, Tim and Nelson proceeded across the store… where they chose a scooter that wasn’t even on sale.

Clearly, we have a little more work to do on this shopping thing…

Jan/Feb '17 45

Grand Traverse Woman

JOIN US FOR HOT COCOA, WINE, CHOCOLATE & PJs You can come straight from work or straight from the couch - wear your cutest PJs or fuzziest slippers for the evening. (PJs are not required but will be met with appreciative howls and hoots.)

Grand Traverse WOMAN

Join us for a night of meeting other women in the area, catching up with old friends and having a little downtime together after the holidays.

WEDNESDAY, JAN. 11 5-7 p.m.

LOCATION HOST:

Prize for best dressed and a grand prize of $200 will be provided by Image360 by random drawing.

Enjoy delicious appetizers by Graystone Catering, amazing cake by Aunt B and music by Executive Sounds.

TICKETS: $15 each or 2/$20

Visit our website to get your tickets today. www.grandtraversewoman.com

Grand Traverse

WOMAN

ATTENDEES:

Bring a prize to donate for your 15 seconds of fame at the mic and to promote your biz!

BROUGHT TO YOU BY

Deerhaven Family Dentistry Dr. Niergarth D.D.S., Dr. Merrithew D.D.S. & Dr. L. Beers, D.D.S.

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Jan/Feb '17

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Grand Traverse Woman

Cold Weather Hazards

Oh the weather outside is frightful, but inside with your pets is so delightful!

Protect your four legged friends from winter weather-associated health risks by considering the following: Snowy Playtime: Pets are susceptible to frostbite and hypothermia just like us. Longer-haired and thick-coated breeds are more tolerant of cold weather, but if it’s too cold for us, it’s too cold for them.

Protect Paws: Check paws frequently for signs of cold-weather injury, such as cracked pads or bleeding.

Reduce the chance of those dreaded iceballs accumulating between your pet’s toes by trimming hair.

DO NOT USE SCISSORS. Play Dress-Up: For pets with short coats or that seem sensitive to colder weather, consider using sweaters, coats and/or booties.

Wipe down: After walks, wipe down your pet’s feet, legs and belly to remove iceballs, deicers, salts, or other chemicals used in the winter time. This will reduce the risk of your pet ingesting poisonous materials after they lick their feet or fur.

Provide shelter: We don’t recommend keeping any pet outside for long periods of time, but if you are unable to keep your dog inside during cold weather, provide them with a warm, solid shelter against wind. Make sure that they have access to water by using a pet-safe, heated water bowl. The floor of the shelter should be off of the ground and the bedding should be thick, dry and changed regularly. Space heaters and heat lamps should be avoided because of the risk of burns or fire.

“ Enriching the lives of those who bring so much joy to ours

“

If you have any further questions or concerns, please contact us at 231-276-6361.

Jennifer Klabunde, DVM, CVCP Hannah Vanos, DVM, MPH

231.276.6361 7966 US HWY 31, Traverse City, MI 49637 northwoodpet.com

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Jan/Feb '17 47

Karastan Carpet Designs Inspired by Nature

Grand Traverse Woman

Styled to Work with Wood, Tile, and More Today’s interiors blend many flooring surfaces into one complete design package. Nature provides wonderful surfaces in wood and stone, and Karastan has designed carpets that embrace that aesthetic. “Urban Appeal”, pictured left, is a fine example of how design evokes the contours in tree bark to uniquely compliment the beauty of wood floors.

Crafted to Endure Karastan not only designs beautiful carpet, they craft each style to remain beautiful for years to come. Today’s newest machinery combines with the most advanced fiber technology to produce the finest, most durable carpet in the industry.

Enjoy Special Savings Start the year with special savings, and in addition receive Karastan Premium Reserve 2.0 Spillguard Carpet Cushion free with any Karastan Carpet Purchase, a significant value!

Urban Appeal

48 Jan/Feb '17 1035 S. Garfield Ave, Traverse City

www.grandtraversewoman.com 231-947-4808 • carpetgalleria.com