GTWoman July/Aug 2017 Issue

Grand Traverse

WOMAN

northern michigan’s network for women ◆ JULY/AUG '17

ducation EInside THE REVEAL OF THE 3 JANES

THE IDEA OF THE ZENVELOPE HELPING BABIES WITH BOOKS THE STORY BEHIND TRANSPORT(HER)!

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Grand Traverse Woman

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Grand Traverse

WOMAN2WOMAN WOMAN

BY KANDACE CHAPPLE & KERRY WINKLER

northern michigan’s magazine for women

The Beach Read Reading. It's the most relaxing summer pastime. Or is it?

THE SUN The sun is finally shining. You get set up in the sun with your beach read and sit at an angle so you don’t blind yourself from the glare. You keep your legs in the sun. It's July. You're probably freezing but you can use your skin as solar panels. You will enjoy summer.

Five minutes later you give up and pull a blanket over your legs and keep reading.

Tan lines? What tan lines? As the wind picks up, you struggle to turn the pages and hold down the blanket at the same time.

BOOK CHOICE Only certain books qualify as “beach reads.” They can’t be too light but they can’t be too dark either.

Suspense. It can't be too suspenseful or it’s a real effort to stay focused on your children near the water. Are they alive?

Maybe. But is the bad guy in the book?

Well, you’re going to read until you find out.

Romance. This is iffy. Light romance is preferred. But try to navigate a steamy romance and you can be sure your children will choose that very scene to gather at your feet. The eldest will peer over your shoulder and ask the sick-inducing, “Whatcha reading, Mom?” He’ll be surprised at your quick reflexes and burst of anger. And the red flush crawling up your neck won’t be a sunburn.

Murder mysteries/thrillers. Bad idea.

These offer too many suggestions on how to make time to actually read your beach read.

Sci-fi/fantasy. Just kidding. Harry Potter is far too complex to attempt to read in 1- to 10-word increments.

Women's lit. This is safe ground. A

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book that declares itself “This year’s summer beach read” is considered PG-rated yet with a plot that’s easy enough to digest between squirt-gun ambushes and outrunning anything that resembles a bee (i.e. everything).

THE COVER There’s nothing like the treat of a new hardcover book with a beautiful glossy dust jacket. You admire the colors, run your fingers over the raised lettering, and check the author’s photo for PhotoShopping. The book is gorgeous. The longer you hold the big beauty, the more you cherish it. The entire book is a work of art and it’s yours!

You read one page and the book slides from its dust jacket and onto your lap.

Never mind, you gather it up and tap it back into place. The cost of beauty is high, as they say.

Another page later, the book slides out of the jacket as you try to balance it on your knees while unwrapping a melting chocolate. (Side note: We strongly advise that your snacks be heat proof.)

But, a few minutes later, by the third slide-out, you’re done. The dust jacket is mournfully discarded and you now have a standard white or black book in your hands.

It’s kind of freeing. You could be reading anything. You imagine others wondering what you’re hiding. You hold the secret book with a new purpose and definitely more brass. You just went up a notch in seaside mystique.

THE BEACH However, there's nothing that ruins a beach read faster than the beach itself.

Several factors contribute: Children. If you ask them to stay out of the water so you can read, you’ll look up 30 seconds later to see them walking

off with a stranger instead. If they’re old enough to use the buddy system, you’ll watch, in no surprise, as they shoot off in different directions until one or both float their hats.

The sand. It's hot. It’s grainy. It's everywhere. You try to enjoy digging your feet in for an exfoliation but that farce only lasts so long. There's sand between your toes and it’s not dry. It’s wet and crusty. It’s annoying. It’s cold. You are actually a little cold. Even with the blanket.

So you dry your feet, brush them off, try to get comfortable. And no sooner do you get the desired status of Dry Feet, when someone’s child (not even yours) comes over to drip on you. You're wet.

Again. You have sandy feet. Again. Your book is full of sand and water. Again. But at least you've preserved the dust jacket.

THE GRAND FINALE After a few child-rescues, you’ve settled everyone down. They are tossing a football around far from the water, perhaps even in the road. But you decide it’s your moment.

You spread out on the sand, on your stomach, on a towel. The sun is on your back and your book is falling open in front of you on the towel. You’re right out of a magazine spread. You feel young and carefree. You manage to read an entire paragraph. You’re starting into paragraph two in total delight.

And... your back starts to hurt. Your neck too. You try to hold position as long as you can but it’s hard to read when you’re wondering when you can next get in to see your chiropractor.

In the end, you come to the same conclusion you do every summer: You can’t actually read a beach read at the beach.

Volume 15, No. 6 July/August 2017 Grand Traverse Woman P.O. Box 22 Interlochen, MI 49643 tel: 231.276.5105 www.grandtraversewoman.com BLOG: www.kandacechapple.com FACEBOOK: www.facebook.com/grandtraversewoman PUBLISHERS Kandace Chapple Kerry Winkler EDITOR Kandace Chapple, kandace@grandtraversewoman.com ACCOUNT DIRECTOR Kerry Winkler, kerry@grandtraversewoman.com ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES Deb Dent, deb@grandtraversewoman.com Sherry Galbraith, sherry@grandtraversewoman.com Lori Maki, lori@grandtraversewoman.com COPY EDITOR Christine Kurtz DESIGNER Bethany Gulde, bethany@grandtraversewoman.com COVER PHOTO Sherry Dodge shares her story about educating children in Fiji. See her story on page 14.

Sarah Brown, Sarah Brown Photography www.sarahbrown-photography.com PHOTOGRAPHERS Sarah Brown, Sarah Brown Photography www.sarahbrown-photography.com Scarlett Piedmonte, Photography by Scarlett www.photobyscarlett.com Beth Price, Beth Price Photography www.bethpricephotography.com CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Nichole Baldwin Ann Barraclough Anne Bonney Missy Carson Smith Sherry Dodge Amber Dunn Tami Evans Vern Gauthier Emily Hedley Katie Kniss Kristen Lowe Kristy McDonald Jon Nickels Krista Nugent Amanda Rhine Carlene Russell Melissa Smith ADVERTISING Kerry Winkler at 231.276.5105 or kerry@grandtraversewoman.com Visit www.grandtraversewoman.com for rates.

SUBSCRIPTIONS To receive GTWoman at home, mail $20 (for 6 issues) to: Grand Traverse Woman, P.O. Box 22, Interlochen, MI 49643 ARTICLES/PRESS RELEASES Letters, inquiries, press releases and GTWoman In Business submissions are welcome.

See www.grandtraversewoman.com for guidelines.

MISSION STATEMENT Grand Traverse Woman is a bimonthly magazine dedicated to the interests of women in the five-county region. Our mission is to provide women with a publication that is educational and inspirational. We strive to maintain a positive, well-balanced and genuine forum for women's issues. (We also like funny stuff.) © Copyright 2017 Grand Traverse Woman LLC All rights reserved.

Happy summer and happy (attempted) beach reading from GTWoman!

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Grand Traverse Woman

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LIVNFRESH APPAREL THAT SHOWCASES MICHIGAN LOVE!

BY KRISTA NUGENT

“I’VE JUMPED over so many hurdles; why stop now?” For Traverse City native, Cari Samalik, her path to success continues expanding and proving to be as unique and unexpected as the apparel sold at her company, Livnfresh.

“I never dreamed in a million years I’d be doing this,” said Samalik, who co-founded the company in 2012 with her husband, Dave. “My education is in healthcare and I worked as an EMT.” The two careers are seemingly unrelated, but the common thread is Samalik’s ability to handle pressure. That means the pressure of running a successful business—Livnfresh apparel is currently sold in more than 80 retail stores around the state and online. It also means taking care of everything on the home front with the kids. Plus, juggling both aspects of her life while overcoming the challenges of dyslexia.

“IF YOU’RE STRUGGLING WITH SELF-DOUBT, KEEP ON PUSHING! YOU NEVER KNOW WHERE YOU’LL END UP. ” - CARI SAMALIK “I was never good in school,” said Samalik, who is also the CEO of Livnfresh. “Two of the most important things you need in business are strong spelling and math skills and I struggle with both, but there are ways to work past that. I’m really grateful for the people who invented calculators and spellcheck!”

Keeping a sense of humor also helps Samalik stay focused and enjoy the ride. “When we met, my (future) husband owned a screen printing business called ‘Hyper Active Designs,’” she laughed.

“It didn’t take long to realize the name completely reflects his personality and outlook on life. Now we see that same spirit in our two kids. Everyone’s hyper!”

That energy is why Livnfresh thrives today.

“When we had Hyper Active, we did a lot of printing for other people, companies and sporting events, but we always dreamed of starting our own brand and printing it exclusively. We’re so lucky to have made that dream a reality.”

The dream took hold in December 2016 when a rare storefront became available on Front Street in Traverse City. “The opportunity came up and we had to jump on it even though we’re already plenty busy during the Christmas season and opening it just added one more thing to our plate. However, it also comes back to surrounding ourselves with people who give 100 percent and maintaining an encouraging culture.”

Samalik, a 2001 graduate of Traverse City West High School, considers having a store on Front Street, in the heart of her hometown, an honor. When people come into the store, they smile ear to ear,” said Samalik. “You can see the love they have for our town and our state and I’m so thankful and honored by that.”

Samalik added, “I have to push past my personal struggles because I have bigger ones to deal with during my day-to-day business operations,” but what makes both easier to manage is being part of the wonderfully supportive Traverse City community.

It’s not just locals who are taking notice of the Livnfresh clothing line.

Its products are outfitting the lead actress of an independent film being produced in Michigan, slated for release later this year. Plus, a national retailer approached Samalik asking to sell Livnfresh products in their stores across the country.

“If you’re a women struggling with self-doubt,” Samalik advised, “keep

on pushing and don’t quit! You never know where you’ll end up.” She added, “It’s not easy being a mom, wife and CEO. There are days when I think I’m the worst, but I look at our kids and they’re happy and healthy, Dave’s happy and healthy, and I’m happy and healthy. Livnfresh has made me a better person because, instead of saying I can’t, it has shown me that I can.”

Living up to your potential? Now that’s pressure we could all benefit from handling!

Cari Samalik is a native of Traverse City and the mother of two. She is also the owner of Livnfresh apparel company. Learn more at www.Livnfresh.com or visit the Traverse City store at 121 E. Front Street.

CARI WITH HUSBAND DAVE AND THEIR CHILDREN.

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WHEN YOUR BABY is whisked away from you at delivery, that romantic vision of sobbing tears of joy and cradling that fresh newborn body against your breast is shattered. Instead, you go into survival mode. It can’t be your soothing voice or warm skin that offers baby comfort, but rather, a series of attached and inserted wires and tubes, heat lamps, a plastic box, and a monitor flashing lines and rates that indicate the basic function of bodily organs.

You just need to know: Is my baby okay? Will she live? Did I do something wrong in my pregnancy?

There are so many questions and unknown answers.

Born to Read HOW READING IS IMPACTING THE MOST CRITIC AL BABIES

BY MISSY CARSON SMITH

Living through the NICU This is a glimpse into the raw and uncertain feelings and experiences of a parent new to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU). A version of this separation happened to me with three of my four daughters.

Between the three of them, our family spent a total of approximately 70 days in the NICU, both in Traverse City and Grand Rapids. Our youngest really accelerated our hospital game by spending more than 220 days in three different hospitals in her first year.

Now, hospitals are places of comfort for our family because hundreds of people worked together to help me have the family I have today. I wanted to find a way to give back to these places that provided so much for our family in those difficult times.

Becoming a cuddler An opportunity presented itself a couple of years ago when one of our beloved NICU nurses told me about a project she’d been dreaming of that was becoming a reality. I signed up and was trained to be a “Comfort Cuddler,” providing loving arms to soothe babies experiencing Neonatal Abstinence Syndrome (NAS). This is a group of problems that occur in newborns who have been exposed to addictive opiate drugs while in their mother's womb.

Cuddling these babies provides much of the same benefits and treats the condition as effectively (and more cost-effectively) in some babies as the typically prescribed methadone.

In the midst of my training, I also went back to work. As a former classroom teacher for over a decade, I have always known the importance of reading. I am also the Great Start Parent Liaison. And one of our partnering organizations started Born to Read, a Twilight Rotary Project.

I was scheduled for one of my first cuddling sessions at the hospital days after meeting with this group.

My baby conveniently was very sleepy and I welcomed the calm of sitting in a quiet space to do nothing but cuddle this sweet little baby. I talked to the nurses a little bit. Baby slept some more. Then Facebook called.

The girl who lived I flipped through my newsfeed only to see a ran-

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MISSY WITH HER OWN NICU BABY, BERNIE, IN 2007.

dom article about how Harry Potter saved a newborn baby’s life. There was this fascinating photo of this tiny baby in an isolette with those distinctive glasses on and an owl in her bed. I had to read it.

There is much to the story, but ultimately, a premature infant, whose family doted on her in the NICU, found their child dancing between life and death.

As passionate Harry Potter fans, this family worried their daughter might not live long enough to enjoy the classic series. So the dad read aloud to the baby in the NICU. The nurses noted how the baby positively responded to hearing her dad’s voice reading to her.

“Keep reading!” the nurses would command as Juniper struggled.

There was not only a happy ending, but a surprise one. J.K. Rowling got involved. She heard the story on Radiolab about Juniper, this little baby who survived the night as a result of responding to her father’s voice reading Harry Potter and she cried in response to the segment.

She then tweeted a note to Juniper’s mom and sent an autographed set of books to Juniper—who was by then 5 years old, inscribing “To the Girl Who Lived.” Imagine that!

As I absorbed this story while rocking my sleeping cuddle baby, I thought about what an opportunity I had in that very moment to engage a tiny baby in the activity of reading aloud. My baby was starting to wake up. So I decided to try it.

Testing the theory I had a sample of the story Wonder on my iPhone.

It, too, is about a child whose birth was something of an anomaly. I chose it because it begins by explaining all of the ordinary things kids do when they get to be 10 years old, almost as long ago as when my youngest was in the NICU herself.

When your baby is born different or sick, we NICU moms tend to think a lot about the future. In this case, I wanted to impress upon this baby that she, too, would be ordinary someday and do all of those things 10-year-old kids do.

Plus, I had time to read, without all the worry. I wasn’t her mom befuddled about how I was going to pump or deliver breast milk. I wasn’t concerned about juggling family around a hospital life, painting a nursery or recovering from a C-section. I could just think about reading to this baby and how she might enjoy hearing my words spoken just for her pleasure.

And react she did.

“I know I am not an ordinary 10-year-old kid,” I read. Baby arches her back as if she needs a good stretch.

“I mean, sure, I do ordinary things. I eat ice cream. I ride my bike.” Baby smiles this terrific open mouth, fly-catching newborn smile. I was getting some feedback!

“I play ball. I have an X-box. Stuff like that makes me ordinary.” She’s staring at me with intense beautiful eye contact, thinking “It’s YOU!” She was as engaged as could be and it felt like watching the smallest of miracles. Her monitors

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Grand Traverse Woman never suggested she was in distress. She kept her eyes on me for as long as she could. Even if it was just a few minutes, it felt like magic ones that really mattered to both of us.

I couldn’t help but share this story with some of the nurses, people from our Born to Read project and some other faces from work. It was so exciting!

Born to Read I know now firsthand, that despite being in an environment where babies are working hard just to stay alive, windows of opportunity open to bring ordinary activities to these extraordinary tiny people.

This NICU experience has since spurred several Born to Read Ambassadors to also become trained Comfort Cuddlers. I encourage you to learn more about the Born to Read Project. Maybe you, too, can share a few moments of joy sharing a book with a little one.

Love Welcomes All.

Missy Carson Smith is the mother of four daughters and wife to Jeff. She is the Great Start Parent Liaison for our five-county region, engaging parents and families with young children in quality early childhood events at 5toONE Neighborhood Centers. Missy is passionate about children and families, education, disability advocacy, congenital heart disease management and spending time with her family. Learn more about the Born to Read Project at http://rotaryborntoread.org.

Church in the Park at 9 am Sunset Park, Downtown Traverse City Traditional Service with Organ at 11 am Sanctuary at 222 Cass, Downtown Traverse City

Every Sunday Morning

There is a Born To Read fundraiser Sept. 28 at the Traverse City Golf and Country Club from 5:30 to 9 p.m. The fundraiser will benefit newborn parents in the Grand Traverse area with free book bags and reading programs for their families. Munson Medical Center, the Traverse Area Library and Rotary Club of Traverse Bay Twilight are sponsors of this initiative. There will be live music, a silent auction, strolling dinner and more. Register online at www.RotaryBornToRead.org or call 231.218.1224.

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Grand Traverse Woman

In Touch

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BY EMILY HEDLEY

SUMMER HAS FINALLY RETURNED to Northern Michigan! Longer days, summer vacation and cherished family time bring us all outdoors to enjoy the warmth of the sun and beautiful landscape. Now is the time to educate yourself and your family on sun damage and establish daily practices that may prevent or delay wrinkles, brown spots and, most importantly, cancer.

Easy ways to prevent a sunburn

clothing, shoes, toys, equipment & baby gear

Simple measures, such as applying sunscreen every two hours and wearing protective hats and clothing, can help you enjoy the outdoors without accumulating the long-term damage. Children and babies are especially vulnerable to the lasting effects of sun damage, as much of it occurs in the early years. Although the immediate effects of suntan and sunburn resolve within weeks, the long-term damage to the skin cells may go undetected for years and is often permanent.

How to pick a sunscreen

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Physical and chemical sunscreens are the two main types of topical sun protection.

• Physical sunscreen (e.g. zinc oxide and titanium dioxide) has been used for over a century and contains natural ingredients that reflect and scatter UV light.

• Contrarily, chemical sunscreen (e.g. oxybenzone) is formulated to absorb and subsequently dissipate the UV rays before they can reach the skin. Although there is controversy in the media surrounding chemical sunscreen use, claims of free-radical damage and hormone disruption have yet to be substantiated.

• Physical sunscreen is recommended if you are undecided or have determined that chemical sunscreen is not for you and your family.

Elta MD Physical Broad-Spectrum SPF 41 is a good option. Blue Lizard Sensitive Sunscreen is a more cost-effective option.

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Grand Traverse Woman

Used-Book SALE and Local Artists FAIR sponsored by Friends of Peninsula Community Library

Facts about sunscreen

BOOK SALE HOURS

Enjoy the sparkling waters, sunny beaches and beautiful trails of Northern Michigan while protecting your skin by following these simple steps: • Apply sunscreen (1 oz. for the average adult, around the amount that would fill one palm) 15 minutes prior to going outdoors.

• Re-apply a liberal amount every two hours when outside, with additional applications if you are sweating excessively and/or immediately after swimming.

• Look for an SPF 30 or higher for babies older than 6 months through adults regardless of skin tone.

• Sunscreen is not approved for babies under 6 months. Talk with your pediatrician regarding recommendations.

• Wear tightly woven protective clothing and broad-brimmed hats.

LOCAL ARTISTS FAIR

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July 20: 7pm-8:30pm

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Top tips to prevent cancer-causing burns

GRAND TRAVERSE HYPNOTHERAPY & COUNSELING

• Avoiding peak sun exposure from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m.

• Regardless of your choice, it’s imperative that your sunscreen be labeled as “broad-spectrum” and preferably water resistant. Broadspectrum products protect against both of the sun’s harmful UV rays: UVA and UVB rays.

• Be warned that some of the worst sunburns occur on cloudy days. The above recommendations are advised regardless of the amount of cloud cover that day.

• Avoid tanning beds at all cost, as they have been listed as a “human carcinogen” (cancer-causing agent) by the International Agency for Research on Cancer.

Hypnosis for Health and Happiness WEIGHT MANAGEMENT • STOP SMOKING • ANXIETY RELIEF • STRESS MANAGEMENT It’s Natural! grandtraversehypnotherapy.blogspot.com 21015 GT_Woman.ai 2 10/17/16 7:03 PM

Emily Hedley is a Certified Physician Assistant at Great Lakes Plastic Surgery, who proudly calls Traverse City her home. She grew up in the Lansing area and earned her Bachelor of Science degree in Nutritional Sciences from Michigan State University and her Master of Science in Medicine from Western Michigan University. Prior to joining Great Lakes Plastic Surgery, Hedley practiced dermatology for over five years. She said she is passionate about her work, spending time with her husband and three children, cooking and traveling. Visit www.glpsc.com for more information.

Amelia Hasenohrl, LPC, CHt

Licensed Professional Counselor Certified Hypnotherapist aradia9@yahoo.com

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Nicole Battista Client Advisor

(231) 922-2002 • foxbmwtc.com US-31 South, Traverse City, MI

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2017

JULY PERFORMANCES

AUGUST PERFORMANCES

Saturday, July 1 King Lear

Saturday, July 15 Nagata Shachu

Sunday, July 2 World Youth Symphony Orchestra Karina Canellakis, conductor

Sunday, July 16 World Youth Symphony Orchestra Carlos Kalmar, conductor Simone Porter, violin

Monday, July 3 The Capitol Steps

Monday, July 17 Straight No Chaser

July 3, 5 & 6 American Hwangap

by Lloyd Suh

Wednesday, July 19 Diana Ross

Interlochen Shakespeare Festival

Interlochen Shakespeare Festival

Thursday, July 6 Michael Feinstein Friday, July 7 Film Screening: Ai Weiwei: Never Sorry - with lecture by director Alison Klayman July 7 & 8 King Lear

Interlochen Shakespeare Festival

Saturday, July 8 Shen Wei Dance Arts Sunday, July 9 World Youth Symphony Orchestra JoAnn Falletta, conductor Tuesday, July 11 Interlochen “Collage” Wednesday, July 12 Trace Adkins with special guest Drew Hale

July/Aug '17

Aug. 3-6 Evita

High School Musical Theatre Co.

Sunday, Aug. 6 World Youth Symphony Orchestra and Les Préludes Jung-Ho Pak, conductor

Saturday, July 22 Amos Lee with special guest Bailen Sunday, July 23 World Youth Symphony Orchestra Cristian Mȃcelaru, conductor Tuesday, July 25 Chris Janson with special guest Davisson Brothers Band

Thursday, Aug. 10 Salt-N-Pepa with Tone Lōc Aug. 14, 16 & 19 Ensō String Quartet Monday, Aug. 14 Gavin DeGraw Thursday, Aug. 17 JETHRO TULL by Ian Anderson

Tuesday, July 25 Lily Hoang, author Thursday, July 27 Mark Nizer, 4D Comedy & Juggling Show Friday, July 28 Danish String Quartet Sunday, July 30 World Youth Symphony Orchestra Carlos Izcaray, conductor Alon Goldstein, piano Sarah Cahill, piano

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Wednesday, Aug. 2 Nathan Gunn, baritone Julie Gunn, piano

•

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Grand Traverse Woman

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The TransportHER app is available for free download on iTunes, Google Play and at TransportHER.com Now Hiring Drivers!

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New Grandma's homemade pies, cookies and muffins. Fruits and Vegetables in season. brats Bundles aro und! Available at local farm markets Traverse City (Saturdays), Elk Rapids (Fridays), Elberta (Thursdays), Frankfort (Saturdays). Can also be picked up at farm markets.

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Hours: Mon-Fri 10-6, Sat 10-3 Joanne 231-218-0771 or Katie 231-642-7361 • Farm Market 231-421-5199 5904 N. Long Lake Road (3 Miles from T.C., just past T.C. West) www.gallagherfarms.com www.grandtraversewoman.com

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Grand Traverse Woman

Visiting

How Teaching Kids Living in Poverty Changed My Reality

BY SHERRY DODGE

LAST FALL I left my life in Traverse City to volunteer-teach fourth grade in Fiji for 10 weeks.

The trip was not posh with comforts: I didn’t have a hot shower the entire time, drinking the water was too risky, the village I stayed in was unsafe after dark and I was challenged beyond anything I had previously experienced in life. I left forever changed for the better.

In a destination more synonymous with luxury honeymoons than deprivation, the harsh truth about Fiji is that a third of the population live in poverty. Communities are heavily disadvantaged; most children are denied basic opportunities in life; and families struggle to meet daily needs.

From a tourist’s perspective, the underlying hardships are quite invisible. It is not until I saw beyond the palm trees and beaches that the extent of the poverty in Fiji became clear.

I was completely overwhelmed when I first arrived at Nasinu Sangam Primary School. This was not what I expected. I walked into a class of almost 50 children about 10 years old running around wild, screaming and completely inattentive.

The kids had been left largely unattended until I arrived. They had a librarian come in to check on them periodically when their main teacher was away, which was often.

On my first day, this librarian banged a stick on the desk and commanded the tornado of naughty cherubs (as I came to call them) to take their seats. All eyes fixed immediately on me, the golden-haired stranger in front of them: “This is your teacher today, make her feel welcome.”

“Good morning, everyone!” I said. “Good morning, Madam,” they replied back in perfect unison.

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“How are you today?” I asked. “We are fine, thank you. How are you?” they said in harmony.

“I am awesome!” I exclaimed as I moved my body into a silly stance. They all started to squeal and laugh, and some even tried to mimic my gesture.

I proceeded to tell them all about me: where I was from, how old I was, and the fun things I planned to teach them over the next few months.

I asked them if they had any questions for me, and, of course, all hands immediately rose in the air: How old was I? How many siblings did I have? Do I live with my mom and dad? Was I married? Did I have a car? The questions were endless.

THE CLASS The kids were hungry for anything and everything to learn. I concocted a simple hydrogen peroxide experiment that genuinely amazed them.

The smallest things we take for granted completely thrilled these kids. They were enthralled by stickers, scissors, glue, colored paper, nail polish, silly pictures on Snapchat. Anything that provided a glimpse of what was beyond their harsh and limited world.

All the other volunteers were much younger than I, at 41. I quickly managed to earn the nickname, “Mom,” since I was the oldest of the group and I secretly kind of liked it because I felt they trusted me.

Oddly enough, they made me feel experienced even though I wasn’t. I didn’t feel old around them—I felt respected.

THE LOGISTICS How did I end up here? I’m divorced. I don’t have kids. The company I worked for was sold and I had recently been laid off. Life circumstances had provided me the freedom to travel and I wasn’t yet ready to jump back into a 9-to-5 job yet. No, I was ready for an adventure.

Beyond that, I wanted to give back and I felt a need to make my efforts useful. My life had provided an opening and I felt I needed to fill that space with something I had been missing.

Most people may not realize it, but volunteering comes at a cost. It isn’t free. First, if you choose a destination on the other side of the world, be prepared to pay for a flight to get you there.

Second, if you sign up as a volunteer through an organization, they will require their cut to manage the logistics depending on your length of stay. That being said, volunteering isn’t always cheap, but the outcome is completely worth it.

After working a few side jobs, formulating a couple of fundraising campaigns and not treating myself to the six-dollar Starbucks latte for a few months, I finally signed on with International Volunteer Headquarters (IVHQ), a program I found highly rated after doing a significant amount of research.

THE KIDS As this adventure took form, I began by thinking I was doing it for me, but, as the experience washed over me, I slowly realized it was also for the kids.

I hope that my short time with these kids was a small cog of inspiration for them to rise up and break free of their circumstances. I believe

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Grand Traverse Woman

Grand Traverse Woman 2017

LUNCHEONS

that it was. The kids talked of moving to America, to California, or really anywhere away from their trapped destitution.

I was in love by the end of my 10 weeks in Fiji. The challenge had been immense, but I was inexorably in love with the kids, the culture, the people, the country. Fiji is magical and beautiful, despite the poverty.

I feel a spiritual connection one cannot tap into by vacationing on the beaches. I’m convinced it is only accessible by spending time with the native people and living beyond the brochures.

When I left the children they were now my naughty cherubs. The experience had been exhausting and exhilarating and unbelievably fulfilling.

And, when it came time to leave. I felt guilty. Guilty because I felt like I had really reached them. They couldn’t wait for me to arrive to class each day. Every morning I could hear them screaming my name and cheering as I approached the school. They were so excited that someone was giving them love and attention. That someone cared enough to be involved with them, giving them just simple love and respect. On my last day, I felt like I was abandoning them. We had created this attachment and now I was leaving.

Our May 25th GTWoman in Business Luncheon with speaker Kelli Cravey. was one of our most emotional events ever. Tears and laughter were on deck, along with breast cancer education and awareness. Kelli spoke about her decision to have a double mastectomy as a “previvor”— thereby reducing her chances of breast cancer from 85 percent to 3 percent because she carries the BRCA-1 gene. She lost her mother to cancer when she was just 15 years old. Kelli read from the letter her mother left her. The entire room stood still. We thank Kelli for sharing something so personal and powerful.

COMING HOME After my stay was over in Fiji, I wandered for four more weeks to the Yasawa Islands, Australia and New Zealand. I made my way back to Traverse City for the holidays and experienced some inevitable depression.

My experience in Fiji had changed me in ways my life here didn’t comprehend. It’s been a slow transition back. The relentless materialism of America is glaring.

I think about my cherubs and I miss them. I keep in touch on social media, but the distance is real.

I hope to return someday and reconnect, but even if that doesn’t happen the experience has forever changed my reality and I believe I played a small but important role in changing theirs.

Sherry Dodge is a part-time mermaid and marketing director for Team Bob’s and can be reached at SDodge@teambobs.com. For more information on the organization she used for volunteering, visit www.volunteerhq.org.

www.grandtraversewoman.com

Our next luncheon is Oct. 11th with Miranda Monroe speaking on “The Energy Crisis for Women.” Nutritionist and owner of Grand Traverse Nutrition, Miranda will speak about fueling our bodies—the where, when and what.

Her tips include certain foods at certain times of the day. It will be a powerhouse presentation, literally! Join us at www.grandtraversewoman.com.

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Grand Traverse Woman

A HEALTHY SELECTION OF HOUSE-BAKED DOG TREATS!

ALL NATURAL • BAKED ON-SITE D.O.G. is located now w newly-r ithin our enovate and exp d a South A nded ir store. S port Rd. top in s oon!

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CAREER-BUILDING MASTER’S DEGREES IN TRAVERSE CITY Your pathway to new career opportunities starts at Grand Valley in Traverse City. GVSU offers the in-demand master’s programs you want and the convenience, flexibility, and affordability you need to make earning an advanced degree fit your schedule and your budget. Plus, our experienced advisors will help you every step of the way — making it easier to start and finish your degree right here in Northern Michigan.

Master’s Programs in Traverse City Education – M.Ed. (Educational Leadership) Physician Assistant Studies – M.P.A.S. Social Work - M.S.W. Like to know more? Contact Josh Jacobson for more information and help getting started this fall! gvsu.edu/traverse (231) 995-1785 (888) 922-1785

Kate Howard, Master of Social Work student

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July/Aug '17

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Grand Traverse Woman

It’s bike season, gals!

ELECTRIC BIKES - We are the largest Electric Assist Bike dealer in the state. Whether you’re commuting, mountain biking, or just cruising around town, we have a wide selection of electric bikes to fit your needs. We carry Trek, Cannondale, Felt, and Electra electric bikes. Stop in for a try today. You’ll love the ease of your next ride!

BIKES GALORE - We also carry road, mountain and children’s bikes, along with fat bikes, bamboo bikes and foldable bikes. Every girl needs a bike… or two.

CLOTHING & ACCESSORIES - Ride in comfort and finally get those spandex bike shorts… plus add a little bling to your bike with a new bell!

Start your summer with a Fundamental Bicycle Tune-up for $79.

We LOVE what we do!

Service is the difference. With more parts in stock than any shop in Northern Michigan, chances are we have what you need. Whether you’re building a custom ride or you need a flat repaired on your garden cart, we are here to serve. You will leave with an accurate estimate of the services requested with no surprises. Upon completion you will receive a text informing you that your bike is ready to be picked up.

A well-maintained bike is a happy bike (and gal!)!

736 E. 8TH STREET, TRAVERSE CITY www.brickwheels.com 231.947.4274

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Grand Traverse Woman

Coming out the other side How an attack changed my life and inspired my business

BY CARLENE RUSSELL

THE MOST PAINFUL EVENT

in my life inspired my new business in Traverse City.

In June 2010, I moved to Arizona for school.

Shortly after I arrived, I met a man, 14 years older than me. I thought his tattoos, motorcycle, and crazy personality were fun and exciting. I thought he was mature; someone to learn from and grow with. Early on, our relationship was normal; getting to know each other, going to concerts, seeing new sights in Arizona together.

He taught me about motorcycles and old cars, which I love. We even cooked together.

He told me that he had been to prison before, but he shrugged it off like it wasn’t a big deal.

I thought it was for a non-violent crime, but I never knew what the charges were. I felt like I should give him the benefit of the doubt. I thought I could trust him and that we could be together forever.

About two years in, my boyfriend’s closest friend passed away suddenly. This devastated him, sending him spiraling out of control. Our relationship became rocky: a two-year-long roller coaster of good times and bad. He would alternate between conquering his demons, and being conquered by them.

Sometimes he would slip up and lose his temper, but I would brush it off. He never hit me or really hurt me, but I missed some definite signs of verbal and emotional abuse. I didn’t

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believe the red flags. I was young and had no experience with domestic violence.

Ultimately, there was one final lie that signaled to me that it was time to break it off, and so I did. I was tired of the ups and downs of it all. I did ask, though, for him come over one final time to finish a home project that he had promised my mother he’d do. He agreed.

Once in the house, my now-ex kept trying to engage me in conversation. I shut him down.

The time for talk had passed, and I just wanted him to get the job done and leave.

I was trying to keep busy in the next room when I heard him open the large pocketknife he always carried for work. I turned around and found him pointing the knife at me.

He told me to go to my room, gesturing down the hall with his knife. I began walking and was shocked when he pushed me down the hall as I walked.

Once I was in the room, he raped me.

I saw my life flashing before my eyes; I was convinced I was going to die. Afterward, I was in a daze, disgusted by what had happened.

I started to give in to every negative voice in my head: the “hows,” the “whys,” the feelings of worthlessness. I felt unloved, and unlovable.

I feared that I somehow deserved what he did and, with no one to witness it, that I wouldn’t be able to prove anything.

It took me four days to bring myself to admit to anyone what had happened. I just couldn’t process it. I was distraught and not acting like myself. My sister pressed the issue. I couldn’t say it. I made her guess. She guessed correctly.

What followed was a blur of telling the story repeatedly to law-enforcement people, healthcare workers and the attorney who handled my case. It was a continuation of the most embarrassing, disgusting and humiliating chapter of my life.

My ex was arrested several days later. He posted bond after 8 days. With him back out on the street, I feared for my life.

Family members convinced me that I needed to move. In a matter of days, I sold my car, quit my job, dumped my phone, and dropped off of social media. Many extended family members knew nothing of what had happened, or that I had even moved.

I started over in Texas, where my sister lived.

With her help, I got into counseling, joined her church and threw myself into volunteer work. I landed my first “big girl job.” Still, I was traumatized, and I feared what would happen if he found me.

My lawyer in Arizona handled all of the court appearances for me. For months, I tried to psych myself up for the trial, knowing that I would have to see him again.

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Grand Traverse Woman

Then the news came; my ex was a “no-show” for a hearing.

He had taken his own life.

It was a pivotal moment. He no longer held any power over me. I was relieved that he could never hurt me or anyone else again.

Although I hated him with every bone in my body, I was surprised that I felt sad for him and his family. I actually grieved his loss and found that this helped me forgive him. The compassionate part of me was still there.

I’ve come far. Not only have I survived the hurt, pain, selfhate, confusion, depression and upheaval, I actually managed to grow my relationship with God. I made new friends. I started a career.

I continue to seek healing through my faith, family and friends. I’ve made it a goal to heal and become a new, stronger, better person. I’m so determined to come out the other side. I hope my story shows at least one person that he or she is more than the events that happen to him or her.

It has now been two-and-a-half years since the incident happened, and one-and-a-half years since he passed away, and I can say: I am no longer a victim. I am not defined by my attack, and I will not let it determine my path.

What happened to me was not my fault. I make the choice, every day, to move forward, and away from my past. I feel very strongly about using my experience as inspiration and hope for other women.

Because of this event, my dad and I came up with TransportHER. Our company is a great idea born from a terrible experience. Our concept is a rideshare focused on women. Simply put, it is mainly female drivers serving mainly female riders.

We hear from women daily, who say that they feel safer riding with TransportHER, or that they would have never used a rideshare until TransportHER came along. One senior citizen told us that she was going to have to move because she just couldn’t get around town anymore, and now with TransportHER, she can.

These stories make me so happy! They let me know that our idea is good, and that we are making a difference.

Our goal is to lift women up, and to bring a little more peace of mind and kindness to the world. I feel good knowing that I am doing something that can keep other women safe. It’s weird, but had the attack never happened, I might never have been inspired to start TransportHER. I may never have gotten to this peaceful place.

So many of us have been through traumas and have allowed the events to imprison us. I want everyone to know that there IS peace, healing and newness on the other side of adversity.

Carlene Russell is a Michigan native currently living in Texas. She and her dad chose Traverse City as the ideal place to launch TransportHER.com.

Their plan is to grow TransportHER throughout Michigan, and beyond.

For more information, visit www.TransportHER.com, email her at support@TransportHER.com or download the TransportHER app available on iTunes and Google Play.

www.grandtraversewoman.com

Do you have Tech Neck from looking at screens?

Common Symptoms:

834 Hastings Street www.angelcarechildcare.org Monday - Friday 7am-6pm

• Neck Pain • Headaches • Migraines • Fatigue • Pain and tingling in the arm • Decreased energy • Fibromyalgia • Insomnia

Preschool Head Start Infants/Toddlers Fresh Farm to Table Food Program

Visit your chiropractor to keep your neck in alignment.

You will thank us all your life!

Where Hearts and Minds Grow Strong

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231-929-1335

Wednesday, August 9 – Saturday, August 12 Tickets: $35, $20, Students $15 | Best for ages 12+ When God decides there are too many sports in the world, He chooses to eliminate one of them - hockey. But that doesn’t sit well with fans of the underdog game. So God says if five pure-of-heart souls can plead their case to save their beloved sport, he’ll reconsider.

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F LY T H E H I V E !

Time to change it up?

Join BEE athletes for strength workouts every M, W and F mornings.

We work hard and have a little fun while we’re at it.

16 Taps Beer, Cider, Mead & Wine

Strength Training Classes • small class sizes (max. of 8) • classes available at 5, 6, 7 and 8 a.m. every M, W, F • one-on-one attention & accountability

If you are new to BEE, mention this ad and get 2 free sessions!

Email Lauri B. at lauribrockmiller@mac.com to sign up.

Visit www.brockmillereliteendurance.com to see the class schedule.

Located in Building 50 in Traverse City.

StormcloudBrewing.com 303 MAIN | FRANKFORT, MI | 231.352.0118

A Whole New Life Bariatric procedures are not for everyone. People qualify for weight loss surgery only if it is the best choice for their health, and they demonstrate the required commitment, motivation, education, and medical history. Munson Medical Center’s nationally accredited program provides long-term support and thorough follow-up care.

To learn more, join us for a free, informational seminar.

“Six months after surgery, I met my goal. I literally cried the day I put my CPAP machine away.

I was so, so happy. This surgery saved my life. My back pain and knee pain are gone. The last time I weighed 150 pounds, I was in the fourth grade. This is the healthiest I’ve ever been.”

- Veronica Ramos, 47

“Veronica is successful because she is following all of the necessary steps to achieve and maintain good health. I am proud of her and excited about the great results she’s getting.”

- Michael A. Nizzi, DO Grand Traverse Surgery PC

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Bariatric Surgery Seminars Tuesday, July 11 | 6 - 8 pm Traverse City: Munson Medical Center Conference Room 1-3, Lower Level Cadillac: Munson Healthcare Cadillac Hospital via video conference Charlevoix: Munson Healthcare Charlevoix Hospital via video conference Gaylord: Otsego Memorial Hospital via video conference Grayling: Munson Healthcare Grayling Hospital via video conference Manistee: West Shore Medical Center via video conference Tuesday, August 8 | 6 - 8 pm Traverse City: Munson Medical Center; also available via video conference in Cadillac, Charlevoix, Gaylord, Grayling, and Manistee To learn more or to register for an upcoming seminar, call 1-800-533-5520, or visit munsonhealthcare.org/bariatrics.

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Grand Traverse Woman

HOME & BUSINESS MOVES Did you know?

is a Michigan-based company?

It started in the early 1980s in Okemos, Mich.

Established in 2005, our business is a local family owned company with over 10 years of experience. We love what we do! Call us for all of your household needs and we’ll make it sparkly beautiful for you!

Bonded & Insured

Through the Cleaning For Reason Foundation, we are pleased to donate up to four free cleanings for women undergoing cancer treatment. Visit www.cleaningforareason.org

We offer a full line of moving-related services that can be customized to fit your needs.

• Packing and unpacking services • Senior facility moves • Boxes and packing supplies • Fully insured and bonded

Mara Crofoot, President

www.TwoMenNorthernMichigan.com

1348 S. West Silver Lake Rd., Traverse City, MI 49685

(231) 947-8880 Each franchise independently owned and operated. • USDOT 1469296 MPSC 32908

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• • • • •

GENERAL CLEANING OFFICE CLEANING POST CONSTRUCTION PARTY PREPPING MOVE IN - MOVE OUT CLEANINGS

• BUDGET CLEANING • VACATION RENTALS & REAL ESTATE • HOME STAGING • COMMERCIAL CLEANING • NEW! MAINTENANCE SERVICE!

www.aysupnorth.com • 231-735-1094 Proudly serving the communities of: Traverse City, Glen Arbor, Cedar, Frankfort, Suttons Bay, Kalkaska, Kingsley and the counties of: Leelanau, Grand Traverse, Benzie & Antrim

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Grand Traverse Woman

Out of sight, out of mind HOW THE ZENVELOPE IS HELPING WOMEN UNPLUG

MELISSA WEST OF ZOETIC GROUP PHOTOGRAPHY

BY KRISTY MCDONALD

KRISTY MCDONALD WITH HER HUSBAND, STEPHEN, AND CHILDREN: IAN, 7, HARPER, 13, AND SOPHIA, 9.

ONE MORNING I was driving down US 31 from Elk Rapids to Traverse City with my two younger children in the car. I had to send a quick text about a work event I had coming up. The road was straight and no one was coming.

I grabbed my phone and texted away.

Feeling accomplished I tossed my phone on the passenger seat and looked up.

I was in the oncoming traffic lane.

My adrenaline surged as I swerved back into my lane without an accident or anyone even seeing what had happened.

The children were clueless but I was not. I was aware, mindful and ashamed at how mindless I had been to think I was special—that I could be angry at others on their phones while driving but somehow I could do it without consequence.

I knew then that I was maybe, slightly, kinda, sorta, most certainly, yes—addicted to my phone. My device was the first thing I looked at when I opened my eyes in the morning and the last thing I saw at night.

I missed moments of my three children’s lives worrying about getting the perfect shot for Facebook instead of being present in the moment.

When I inventoried the amount of time I spent staring down at my phone instead of living the life right in front of me, I was horrified to learn I used my phone on average of

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five hours a day. I started talking to coworkers, friends, my husband and children, other parents, and my students, and most of them were feeling the same way. No one wanted to give their phones up—they are awesome, helpful and necessary. However, many of us want a more “mindful” relationship with our technology.

I wanted to be more present in my own life, not just while away at a meditation retreat, sitting on my meditation cushion or when teaching or practicing yoga. My phone held me back.

I knew I was not someone who could throw her phone in her purse or turn it over and ignore it. I needed something that was a mindful reminder and commitment to ask myself “why” I was reaching for my phone.

To help myself and others readjust our relationship with our phones, I created the Zenvelope—a mindfulness case for your phone.

Zenvelope started at a family game night.

We were playing Clue, and three of the five of us were on a device. It was my best friend’s birthday, and there was wrapping paper in the corner of the room. I made all of us wrap our phones for the game. It was funny, and we made a silly rule that the first one to unwrap had to clean up.

A few days later, I was meeting with a consulting client, and she asked me why she should hire me to help bring mindfulness to

her employees by asking me to tell a story of how I create a mindful environment at home. I told that story, and when the company called back to hire me, I was asked if I could bring wrapping paper to my consultation. They wanted to start using this strategy at their morning meetings.

That night, I had a dream about the name, product, and an amazing feeling of helping people—organizations, families, couples, and schools—to change their interactions with technology.

A big reason for starting Zenvelope was that I realized I was a role model for all the kiddos in my life. They were watching me interact with my phone and learning my poor habits.

My 9-year-old daughter, Sophia, told me the other night I am a much better mom when I put my phone in “that thing you made.” Ian, my 7-year-old son, told me during a camping trip that I should just leave my phone in my Zenvelope the entire weekend.

My older son, Harper, puts my phone in my car Zenvelope first thing when we get in the car. I love that Harper does this because he is a short time away from driving himself and maybe I will have modeled responsible driving habits.

I now use a Zenvelope case during meetings, time with loved ones, while driving, when I need to concentrate on work or

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Grand Traverse Woman

when I help my children with homework. I use it at night so when I wake up my phone is not just sitting there on my nightstand sending radiation into my head.

I don’t check my phone until my children leave for school and our mornings are easier and full of meaningful connection. I put my phone in my Zenvelope an hour before bed so I can wind down and give my husband the quality time we both deserve.

We can all change our relationship with our phones if we really want to be more present in our lives. We can spend more time looking up and living and less time looking down and being distracted.

The life we have in front of us is nothing less than a miracle— every minute we get to spend with our loved ones, doing something creative, walking in the woods or connecting with another human face-to-face is a gift. I have vowed to give more time to powering down my technology and more time to powering up my presence in life.

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Kristy McDonald is a business professor at Northwestern Michigan College whose passion is helping people find their full potential for innovation, communication and happiness. She started Zenvelope, a mindful consulting company that also provides a mindfulness tool for phones. Her areas of expertise are: conscious communication, creative customer service, technology awareness and mindfulness and meditation. For more information visit www.zenvelope.life.

Dr. F. Matthew Smith, MD

Emily Hedley PA-C.

5085 Anna Drive • Traverse City • 231.935.0180 • glpsc.com

Why? We use our phones twice as much as we think we do (6-10 hours a day). The point is not to give up using our phone, it’s to be mindful of how, when, where and why we are using it so we do not become addicted to it.

KRISTY MCDONALD

We are looking at our phone in 30-second bursts 6-10 hours a day, and this habitual reaction to our devices can stop our creative flow and focus. Studies show that constant multi-tasking causes us to release hormones and cortisol, keeping us in a state of stress (fight or flight mode).

This causes our overall happiness level to decrease and can lead to decreased short-term memory. New studies show that just having our phone in sight can disrupt focus and awareness.

How many times have you pulled alongside a person you thought must be having a heart attack only to find him texting while driving? Do you worry about your children texting and driving? Studies show that texting while driving is more dangerous than driving drunk.

From parenting to romantic relationships, our cell phones are not increasing our interpersonal satisfaction. In fact, we now know they are hurting our communication, listening skills, quality time, intimacy and family bonding.

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We’re building a new school.

But our Headmaster will remain the same.

TOGETHER UNDER ONE ROOF IN FALL 2018 HOLY ANGELS PRESCHOOL & ELEMENTARY 130 East Tenth Street, Traverse City (231) 995-8425

IMMACULATE CONCEPTION ELEMENTARY 218 Vine Street, Traverse City (231) 947-1252

www.gtacs.org

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Grand Traverse Woman

Dr. Gum

Ophthalmologist

Dr. Holdsworth Ophthalmologist

Dr. Foot Optometrist

Dr. Chippi Optometrist

Dr. Felger Optometrist (Kalkaska)

231.935.8108 | TRAVERSE CITY & KALKASKA | TCEYE.NET

#1 In Sales

Danielle Jerome

REALTOR®

248.762.2622 Danielle.Jerome@CBGreatLakes.com

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July/Aug '17

SCHMIDT REALTORS 402 E. Front Street Traverse City, MI 49684

Karen Schmidt

REALTOR®

231.218.4463

Karen.Schmidt@ColdwellBanker.com www.grandtraversewoman.com

Grand Traverse Woman

START USING YOUR PHONE LESS AND ENGAGE IN YOUR LIFE MORE!

ZENVELOPES MAKE GREAT GIFTS FOR:

N NOW O

SALE

• New Drivers (Every driver on the road should be using a Zenvelope while their car is in motion)

• Employees (Put your company logo on them and make them mandatory for tech free meetings)

• New graduates who can • Friends who are always use them while they study on their phones when • Middle School, high school you are together and college educators • Family members should all have the (game night, dinner time, classroom model with 35 outdoor adventures and clear pockets that will keep movie night) their students focused

Grand Traverse Woman readers please use the code “GTW” for your Zenvelope order at checkout for 10% off your entire order.

www.grandtraversewoman.com

www.Zenvelope.life

All Zenvelope models come with a free app to track your phone usage each day helping you see that using your Zenvelope will help you spend less of your life distracted by your phone.

All Zenvelopes can be customized by contacting us at Kristy@zenvelope.life

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the jane

reveal

e ose

THEY DID IT! THEY COMPLETED THE EIGHT-WEEK CHALLENGE AND WILL MAKEOVER NEVER BE THE SAME. WE CAUGHT UP WITH THE THREE AMAZING GTWOMAN JANES FOR AN EMOTIONAL RECAP OF THEIR EXPERIENCE. READ WHAT THEY HAVE TO SAY AND HEAR FROM THE SPONSORS THAT HELPED MAKE THE MAGIC HAPPEN!

Grand Traverse

WOMAN

LET’S HEAR FROM THE AMAZING FIT FOR YOU TRAINERS WHO GOT THE JANES SWEATING AND SUCCEEDING!

VERN GAUTHIER, PERSONAL TRAINER

JON NICKELS, PERSONAL TRAINER 26

July/Aug '17

See Jane Lose

See Jane Lose

Working with Ann – By Vern Gauthier “What an amazing lady,” were not the first words I thought of when I heard about Ann. Here was this young lady who owned a business that makes cake. Really, cake? Not only that, but her nickname was “The Cake Lady” and she had to taste every cake she made. So, you can probably see that I was a little worried. However, she completely blew my mind during the first training session after seeing her strong will, her never-say-die attitude and her all-around “let's get it done” way of thinking. That doesn't mean that the road wasn't long and there weren't bumps along the way, but Ann was a fighter. Looking back, I never should have doubted her. Here is a lady with a husband, children and a business and without her strength, she wouldn't have been able to succeed! Now, I can truly say, “What an amazing lady!” Ann will not only achieve her health goals, she will achieve anything in life that she pursues. I really feel she has the ability to compete in our upcoming Grand Traverse figure competition, but does she? Only she can answer that!

Working with Nichole – By Jon Nickels When Nichole came in for her first assessment, I asked her how she would describe her personality and she told me that she was a bubbly person and, just like that, her nickname “Bubbles” was born. Nichole did a fabulous job throughout the entire weight-loss challenge, giving every ounce of effort she had. I don't remember a single time when she had a cross word to say, or anything negative to share for that matter. We were able to see her body change and her confidence level change throughout the See Jane Lose Challenge. I have nothing but positive hopes for Nichole and her future of health and fitness. We have no doubt that she will be able to achieve those goals as long as she keeps her can-do attitude and bubbly personality. On a personal note, Nichole, I'm very proud of you and proud of everything that you've achieved. I wish you good luck on your next step of the journey and I hope to see your smiling face soon. Congratulations.

Working with Katie – By Jon Nickels When Katie came in for her first workout session, it was apparent that Katie is an amputee. It didn't take long to learn, however, that she was far from physically limited. There wasn't a single movement that I requested that she wasn't willing to try. And, more often than not, she completed the task as if her physical limitation didn’t exist. Katie was spirited in her workouts with high energy and a desire to perform the best that she could throughout the challenge. I am here to say that her best was a phenomenal effort. We are proud of that effort and her results as well. There is no doubt in our minds that she will continue to excel in her journey to being a healthier, fitter Katie Kniss.

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Grand Traverse Woman

Ann Barraclough, 48 What has changed?

I am so happy with the difference in my joints and overall feeling of lightness because of clean eating. I know that may sound funny to some, but it’s huge to people who have swollen joints and puffiness.

What was the biggest challenge?

Time management and making myself a priority. It is difficult to realize that we can and should take care of ourselves first. If we aren't healthy we aren't doing anyone any good.

13 LBS

Lost

WAS

186 LBS

NOW

173 LBS

HEIGHT 5'7"

LOST POUNDS 13 LBS

LOST INCHES 6.25

What have you learned?

I am learning the correct way to feed my body the right foods and the exercise it needs to function properly.

The trainers at Fit For You have been incredible teachers. Each of them has taken the time to explain why we do each exercise and how the foods we choose to eat affect our bodies. I am continuing to choose the right foods and keep up the fitness program. I am still training three days a week and also fitting in cardio workouts.

What are you most proud of?

I knew this was going to be an all-or-nothing experience when I applied for the program. I can say without a doubt that I put my whole heart and soul into everything I did. The training sessions were tough, but I did every one with all I had. I am proud of my determination and strength!

What was your motivation throughout this experience?

I had gotten to a place healthwise that I didn't like and I wasn't comfortable in my own skin. I knew that I had to make some serious changes in the unhealthy choices I was making. My biggest motivator was knowing that each time I went to the gym and everything that I ate were helping me feel stronger.

What’s next?

DOING a lot more. My husband and I bought paddleboards and we plan on seeing a whole lot more of the shorelines of this paradise we live in.

top tips • Have a set time to work out. Doing this and having other people counting on me to show up keeps me accountable. I have training scheduled three days a week and I continue to work out with a couple people who were in the weight-loss challenge.

• Go to bed at an appropriate time. I have always struggled with being a night owl. Now that I get up at 4:45 a.m. three days a week, this has to change. I've realized that my body needs more sleep so that I can function more effectively.

www.grandtraversewoman.com

SARAH BROWN PHOTOGRAPHY

THE START

July/Aug '17 27

Grand Traverse Woman

Nichole Baldwin, 28 How do you feel now?

I am stronger and my body is running efficiently now that it is supplied with the proper fuel. I learned that to keep my body fueled I need to remember to eat my snacks even when I’m swamped at work! You need to make the time because it boosts your metabolism!

What was the biggest challenge?

The biggest challenge for me wasn't what I gave up, but rather making sure I ate enough food and drank enough water. You have to constantly remind yourself to drink water and plan for snacks when you’re busy on the go. I feel now after eight weeks it is routine now, rather than a chore.

What are you most proud of?

That I gave my all to this program. I committed my whole self and have no regrets. A couple of sacrifices I made during the program were not having sweets and wine!

But as far as my family and friends, they accommodated my lifestyle and I didn't miss any events or gatherings. I also gave up a lot of my free time to workouts after work.

WAS

242 LBS

NOW

226 LBS

HEIGHT 5'6"

LOST POUNDS 16 LBS

LOST INCHES 9.25

16 LBS

Lost

What was the best compliment you received?

The best compliment I have received so far is how strong my willpower was during the program. I seemed surrounded by treats and good eats, but it was surprisingly easy to turn them down! Everyone has been super great about telling me how great I look, but I'm glad they saw my effort too.

What did you learn?

How to make better choices in the grocery store and how to prepare the food at home without all the unnecessary calories. I learned that I can push myself a lot harder than I thought and that I can set goals and reach them.

THE START What can you do now that you couldn't do before?

I can run a mile without stopping! This was huge for me because I have never been good at running and I just don't enjoy that type of exercise. I prefer weight training. So it was pretty amazing that I could run the whole way and shave time off my first test at the beginning of the program.

• Pack snacks! Have protein bars, fruit, nuts, peanut butter easily accessible throughout the day. I need to be providing fuel for my body every few hours. This keeps my metabolism going and my body burning more calories.

• Fluids are so important. Drinking enough water is so hard but the benefits are incredible. Since really pushing myself to drink more water, I have better skin, less bloating, and feel healthier overall. Keeping water in my car or in a bottle with me at work makes getting in those ounces easier!

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July/Aug '17

SARAH BROWN PHOTOGRAPHY

top tips

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Grand Traverse Woman

Katie Kniss, 39 What did you change?

The worst bad habit I left behind was snacking right before bedtime. I always knew it was a bad habit, but I did it anyway. With the challenge, I had to record everything I ate and that would include that bowl of chips and glass of wine, so I stopped because of the accountability and fear of letting my team down.

What helped you with your meals?

When the challenge started Nikki and Anne and I got together at my house for a meal-prep party. I was the most familiar to meal prepping, so when they came over and brought all their food for the week, we had a blast learning, cooking and laughing. It was a great kick-off to the challenge and getting to know the gals better. We made over 40 meals!

What was the best compliment you received?

One of the gals in the challenge group told me how impressed she was that I could still do all the exercises despite having a prosthetic leg and that I didn't let it slow me down. When I lost my lower right leg in 2008 as a result of a car accident, learning to do everyday tasks became a challenge. I'm a mom of four kids. I wasn't going to feel sorry for myself and give up being the mom they needed. I had to learn how to adapt daily tasks like carrying laundry up and down stairs, driving them to school and playing with them outside. Those simple things were more difficult, but I still did them, just differently. It was the same with working out. There were some tasks like doing squats, running and jumping jacks that were physically more difficult, but I adapted and did an alternate version of the same thing.

11 LBS

Lost

206 LBS

NOW

195 LBS

HEIGHT 5'8"

LOST POUNDS 11 LBS

LOST INCHES 4.5

What was your motivation?

Knowing that everyone was watching. My family held me accountable for every meal, mostly because I knew that they knew what was allowed and what wasn't because I had posted my nutrition plan on the refrigerator. Kids learn more by what you do more than what you say. They were watching and they were going to see a mom who stuck by her word and didn't give in. My husband was also very supportive and would often ask me how I was doing and when I had last gone to the gym. Also, the challenge group had a “punishment workout” that we would have to do if one of us gained weight. I wasn't going to be the one to make us all sweat more!

top tips • Get outside. Go for a run or brisk walk. Plan a trip with the kids to the Sleeping Bear Sand Dunes and time your climb to the top. Swim rather than sun bathe. Plant a garden and squat to pull weeds or carry heavy dirt or kids in the wheelbarrow. Including your kids in your workout benefits their health too.

• Put the kids to bed early. There's a stigma that you have to work out in the morning. Put junior to bed early and get out that workout video. Throw on some old torn-up t-shirt and turn on a Jane Fonda video. The good news is that you don't need fancy machines and heart-rate trackers. Old-fashioned sits-ups and push-ups will do.

www.grandtraversewoman.com

THE START

SARAH BROWN PHOTOGRAPHY

WAS

July/Aug '17 29

Grand Traverse Woman

GTWoman’s May 10th Network Nite REVEAL! We celebrated our See Jane Lose Reveal at Floor Covering Brokers.

Our Janes showed off their makeovers and new figures after their 8-week program at Fit For You. The night was fun and sassy! A lot of guys showed up to support their gals and it added to the levity of the evening. We shared good food and good company!

the perks!

Eye and skin care from GTOC

Skin care Congratulations to the 2017 Janes from all of us at GTOC! Our aesthetics team treated the youngest Jane, Nichole, to one of our favorite treatments, Dermaplaning with a facial. It's a perfect treatment to exfoliate the old, dead skin cells and all the peach fuzz, so the skin is summer ready.

Ann was also treated to Dermaplaning, as well as an IPL (Intense Pulse Light) treatment to reduce the redness and spider veins on her face. But, her most exciting transformation happened when she tried Dysport (a Botox competitor). She loved watching her frown lines disappear, and that was enough to convince Katie to try it too!

Katie also had a microdermabrasion treatment, a lash tint and an IPL treatment, which got rid of an unwanted red spot she had on her cheek.

PHOTOS BY SARAH BROWN PHOTOGRAPHY

Eyewear GTOC optical had the pleasure of fitting these three special ladies with eyeglasses. It was a lot of fun finding their look with new eyewear.

We helped Nichole pick out non-prescription sunglasses by Maui Jim. The style is called Orchid, and the color is a gray tortoise with gray polarized lenses. It is very fashion-forward with lots of coverage to protect the eyes from harmful UV rays and also filter the blinding glare.

We fit Katie with a Diva frame by Eastern States. The black color with the crystal accents look outstanding on her.

For Ann, we fit her with a frame from our Marc Jacobs collection, called Marc 77. The red color looks fabulous with her blonde highlights and gives her a sweet style.

We hope the ladies had a great experience working with GTOC! For more information on GTOC visit www.gtoc.net.

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July/Aug '17

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Grand Traverse Woman

the coaching!

By Anne Bonney

the hair!

By Amanda Rhine Salon Moxie had a great time styling the Janes this year! We created a new dimensional color and cut on both Ann and Katie and gave Nichole a platinum glaze to freshen up her blonde. Salon Moxie also gave the Janes manicures to help top off the complete look. As the salon owner, I, and stylist, Kendra, had the pleasure of transforming these ladies. Each Jane had a thorough consultation from the stylists to help find a fantastic look that catered to her face shape, skin tone and lifestyle.

All of our products at Salon Moxie are organic, vegan- and cruelty-free, along with many other benefits, and our makeup is no different. We used our organic floral-based makeup line on the Janes to help bring out their natural beauty and enhance their features.

Zuii Organics is exclusively retailed in our area at the salon. It produces beautiful color pigments, natural moisturizers and all-day wear.

Each Jane was a delight to work with and we felt blessed being a part of this great program and to hear their courageous stories. We loved seeing the extra boost of confidence once we turned the styling chairs around and the Janes saw their makeovers completed!

How did you support the Janes through the eight weeks?

The Janes had full access to Naked Confidence, an eight-week series of videos helping guide them to the right attitude and mindset and planning for weightloss success. I also met with them at least once to talk about potential challenges, where they'd succeeded before, and what their plan was for success.

For more information on Salon Moxie visit www.salonmoxietc.com.

531 East Eighth Street, Traverse City, MI 49686 231-486-6000

They really made a commitment to a lifestyle change. They're all super strong women who don't want to go through the yo-yo dieting thing ever again, so they created new habits and a new lifestyle that will help them to maintain the success they have experienced.

Each Jane was very strong, empowered and motivated to start with. They were committed to being successful and that was half the battle! I also loved hearing about their partnership during the workouts. That accountability helped them with their success. It was great to work with such committed, positive women. It was inspiring.

What is one piece of advice you can share to help kickstart other women on their transformations?

Make a lifestyle change. Don't plan to "diet" for eight weeks with the plan to go back to old habits once that eighth week or fourth month or whatever "diet" period is over. If you go back to old habits, you'll go right back to your old weight!

Create a new lifestyle with treats in moderation, but an overall healthier way of living. Create new habits rather than leaning on the thinking: "When this diet is over, I can have Cheetos and Twinkies again.”

Unless you want the weight back, you need new thinking!

Anne Bonney is an energetic and engaging motivational speaker, leadership trainer and weight loss coach and creator of Floor It: Power Principles to Accelerate Your Life and Naked Confidence: Mindset and Habit Transformation for Weight Loss.

After 20 years in highly successful leadership positions in the corporate setting, Anne founded Different Shoe Enterprises and now uses her experience, education, and expertise to help people strengthen their self-leadership skills to improve their results. Anne has energetically and passionately spoken with large and small groups both nationally and internationally. She is a proven leader, educator and motivator, and empowers people to catalyze powerful change in their lives.

You can learn more at www.AnneBonney.com and contact her at anne@annebonney.com.

www.grandtraversewoman.com

the house!

By Melissa Smith At Your Service Cleaning loved having the opportunity to help the Janes by providing a free house cleaning because we know exactly what it is like to be a woman in these busy times.

As women ourselves, we know that many of us give too much and do not elect to provide time for ourselves. And we know it is hard to juggle personal needs and desires against what the rest of the world expects from us!

We were proud to sponsor these simply exceptional women who had the guts and courage to accept the challenge. By our cleaning their homes, these three women could take the essential time they needed for themselves.

It is truly the wish of those around them, who care about them, that they stay healthy and happy. These Janes are role models to their children and muses to their husbands. They are someone’s daughter, the apple of their eye, and ought to be loved and pampered.

In addition, as a woman business owner, I’m proud to run a company that is made powerful by the strength of each and every one of “my girls.” I am inspired by all of my employees. I am also grateful to the women in my past who served as role models—those who embodied everything I wanted to be—who helped me to see what my goals were.

That’s why I want to help other women see how resilient and amazing they really are.

And it can all start with something as simple as a clean house!

For more information on At Your Service Cleaning, visit www.aysupnorth.com.

July/Aug '17 31

Grand Traverse Woman

SIX MONTHS AGO,

I never would have considered writing a magazine article. The thought that I had anything worth writing about would have made me laugh—and cry. I was unemployed, overwhelmed and completely and utterly stuck! I was in the middle of a mid-life crisis in every sense of the word.

From an early age, I had a love-hate relationship with education.

I enjoyed school and got good grades but I was plagued by the question of what I wanted to be when I grew up. Because my father was a disabled veteran, there were educational benefits available to help with the cost of college and that left only the question of what? What did I want to be?

I liked a lot of things a little but nothing stood out. Most of my friends seemed so sure of what they wanted to be and I had no clue.

The closer graduation came, and the harder I tried to see my path, the more it seemed to disappear.

Delaying college

Self Taught How to cultivate a different education

BY AMBER DUNN

32

July/Aug '17

Pursuing an associate degree at the local community college bought me time. However, I was surrounded by even more students who were extremely driven. Everyone but me seemed to have a clear idea of what they were meant to do and who they were meant to be.

My dad’s cancer diagnosis a month before I was planning to transfer to another college gave me the perfect excuse to stay home and prolong the decision. His death affected me deeply, but I can see now that I also used it as another excuse to avoid going back to school.

I had many opportunities to complete my bachelor’s degree through the years, but I always found an excuse. The overwhelming feeling that I had to know which degree was the right one kept me from giving anything a real chance. Not having a clear vision of what I wanted to do made it even easier for me to put my degree low on the priority list.

Since my husband clearly knew what degree he wanted to pursue, it was an easy choice to support him by working instead. When we had young children, or my grandparents needed help, it was easy to say that I was needed elsewhere. After my husband started his own company, working with him gave me another reprieve from deciding what type of career I might want.

And, even in my mid-40s when our business was lost and I had the opportunity to do something different—something I wanted to do—I was frozen with indecision.

Choosing to learn I knew I wanted more out of my life, that I wanted to make a difference and help others, but I had no idea how to begin. I didn’t want to tell anyone because I was midlife and still had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. Wasn’t I supposed to know by now? There had to be something wrong with me.

I poured over job postings, but my skills and associate degree did not qualify me for much beyond minimum-wage positions. I began reading Elizabeth Gilbert’s book Big Magic during one of my most desperate moments and took heart in the message that inspiration could only find us if we were out there to be found.

There was also a section in which she mentioned that a conventional education wasn’t always necessary to become a true artist and that struck a chord deep within me. It occurred to me that there might be another way to get where I wanted to be. Maybe I could teach myself.

I began spending all my extra time actively searching out ways to gain knowledge and improve the skills that I already had.

I watched TED talks (short, powerful talks from experts on many

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Grand Traverse Woman

Helping People Find Solutions

Helping People Find Solutions

topics, each less than 18 minutes long) while I did the dishes.

I typed newspaper articles as I was reading them. I did internet searches for local companies, groups and organizations that were working to improve the community, the environment and the lives of others, since those were all things that I was interested in.

I found that websites like SCORE offered free webinars and mentors and I started setting alarms on my phone to watch webinars on topics that I thought might apply to something I would want to do. I began watching for Facebook recommendations and looking for more information on some of the speakers or topics from some of my favorite TED talks. I also began volunteering to bridge the gap between where I was and where I wanted to be.

I listened to people talk passionately about problems in education, health, climate and politics, as well as potential solutions for all. I learned that it is important to be brave, and that the people who succeed in the ways I want to succeed are honest, real and kind.

I learned that you need to show up and put yourself out there if you’re going to have any chance of helping others, and I learned that I may not have one true passion, but I do have many interests and that’s OK. I have also learned that passion is not something that strikes everyone, but interests can be followed. Somewhere along the path you will see so many possibilities that you can’t understand why you wanted to limit yourself to just one.

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The way forward Six months ago, I was stuck. A midlife woman, suddenly unemployed with few skills, a half-finished bachelor’s degree and the nagging worry that I would never find my passion. I am still midlife and far (really far!) from the perfect career, but now hope fills a space that used to be empty and excitement has replaced frustration.

I am filled with ideas and the knowledge that I can make a difference in an infinite number of ways. I know that any bachelor’s degree would have opened almost as many doors as a specific one, and this time, when I pursue my degree, I will do so with the knowledge that I am creating options and pursuing a future instead of waiting for one to find me.

There are many ways to pursue higher education and lifelong learning means more than just taking a few classes. If, like me, you find yourself in the messy middle, just know that you can climb out by creating a ladder instead of waiting for one to be dropped to you.

Look for opportunities for growth, seek out things and people that inspire you and chase your future. Some people may have one clear path, but others need to choose a hazy one and follow the forks until things become light. I can see the light a little and I am chasing it a lot. I know that you can too!

Amber Dunn is a 44-year old wife and mom of two boys ages 13 and 20. She is still learning new things every day that make her feel optimistic and inspired. Although some days she wishes that she had found inspiration earlier in life, Dunn’s 94-year-old grandmother gives her hope that there might still be plenty of time left to make a difference.

She can be reached at ardunn@acegroup.cc.

Left to right: Dan Stoudt, Dan Galbraith, Andy Sabatine, John Klingelsmith and Michael Caruso

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Grand Traverse Woman

G R A N D T R AV E R S E W O M A N ' S

10

TH

ANNUAL

WINE TASTING & COMEDY SHOW Friday, Sept 29 th from 7-9pm

This is our kick off to the 2017-18 Network Nite Season!

The event will be held at Leelanau Studios in Traverse City and is sponsored in part by the Leelanau Peninsula Wine Trail. We will have food, wine, laughter and shopping.

The perfect storm for a girls night out!

Wine & Appetizers

Indulge in a little wine and goodies for your Girls Night Out! • Verterra Winery – Featured Winery • The Cheese Lady will be there offering cheese and wine pairings.

Entertainment

• Rocco’s Old World Pizzeria will have pizza, pasta, salad and desserts.

Shopping

Get ready to laugh with the girls!

Accepting Vendors We are looking for vendors to provide a fun night of shopping for the gals! Register online at www.grandtraversewoman.com or email kerry@grandtraversewoman.com for more info!

Tickets

$15 each or 2/$20

Heather Jay Harris is a seasoned veteran of comedy stages throughout the country. She has performed at the world famous Apollo Theater in Harlem New York, she opened The Funny or Die Oddball Comedy Festival with Big Jay Oakerson, TBS's Just For Laughs in Chicago, and Gilda Radner's LaughFest. She has also opened for Tommy Davidson, Tony Rock, Dave Chappelle and most recently for Amy Schumer and Aziz Ansari.

Grab your girlfriends & colleagues and purchase tickets today!

Visit www.grandtraversewoman.com.

Limited tickets, must pre-purchase.

THANK YOU TO OUR SERIES SPONSORS

Grand Traverse

Location Sponsor

WOMAN

Presenting Sponsor

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July/Aug '17

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THE SCHOOL LUNCH

How you can change someone’s day

BY TAMI EVANS

WALKING HOME the first day of school in our new town, Becket

BECKET AT AGE 4.

stopped and slumped on the edge of the curb: “I don’t like it here.”

Oh, that sound you just heard like thunder ripping through the mountains during a summer storm? Yeah, that was my heart breaking.

As is my wont, I probed for more info.

“Lunchtime is horrible!”

This was not what I was expecting to hear, as lunch has always been one of the highlights of his day.

“There are so many people, but I am all alone.”

After asking a few veteran moms for the lowdown, I discovered that all the kids pile into the large echo-y auditorium and are allowed to sit with whomever they choose during lunch.

At lunch in his old school, his small class sat round a table in their room together and chatted about Pokemon and ice-cream flavors, then excused themselves to go climb a tree in the forest playground outside the door. I can see him standing wide-eyed in the doorway of this new lunchroom, shrill with shrieks and squeals, as his classmates jostle past him to meet up with their besties from other classrooms. The tables fill and he ends up sitting utterly alone.

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Grand Traverse Woman For the first time ever, his lunches came home unfinished.

When it comes to meeting new people, Becket is exactly like me: outwardly confident, but paralyzingly shy at the core.

Two days later I couldn’t take it anymore. I asked in the office to have someone look out for him (I am not allowed to join my son for lunch at school. Not. Allowed. But that is another story.) They were very kind and promised to assign him buddies for a few days and make things better.

And things did get a bit better.

A shrug, “A girl asked me to sit with her today. It was OK.” Then yesterday it happened. The storm broke.

A beaming smile, “Mom! Mom! Gideon and Daniel ASKED ME to sit with them at lunch today!!!” (Loosely translated, he just won the Mini-Cooper in the Cherry Festival raffle.)

His lunchbox came home empty. Two young boys will never know the power they had to light up my son’s life.

You HAVE that power. Do you know it?

Professionally: If you have a business, organization or group that occasionally has newcomers—plan for it. Make it a serious part of your system to assign a “lunchroom buddy” to each new person, and make him or her feel like a VIP rather than a stranger. That one simple step can change the entire future of your relationship. What an enormous difference that small act of kindness would have made to Becket. And to me.

Personally: The next time you are in a large group situation where you feel uncomfortable, insecure and shy, just take a moment to look around. Although no one is paying me one jot of attention, I still feel like I am standing in the middle of the room, naked and covered in Day-Glo body paint… anybody else relate? I’m pretty certain there is someone else who feels exactly like you among the cliques of people chatting comfortably and catching up with one another.

Assign YOURSELF as the “lunchroom buddy.” Walk over to that person and say, “Hi, I’m new. Nice lunchbox.”

TAMI AND SON BECKET, NOW AGE 12.

A genuine and funny motivator, Tami Evans is a professional speaker who specializes in quick and useful content with lots of laughs. Tami helps corporations, organizations and individuals improve productivity, profitability and performance through igniting a positive workforce. She is on the board of directors for the National Speakers Association, and was recently president of the NYC chapter. While her speaking takes her to convention stages all over the United States, Tami spends her summers back home in Traverse City. You will see her cycling around town with Becket, who is now thriving in a school he loves! For more on Tami, visit www.tamievans.com.

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Grand Traverse Woman

ALL-AMERICAN STARZ A free dance team for those who wouldn’t otherwise get the chance

BY KRISTEN LOWE

JESSICA MASON FROEHLICH drops her coat and bag onto the gym floor of the Salvation Army.

“All right, girls, let’s go!” she says with a smile, as the girls jump around her, peppering her with questions and stories about their workout.

“Are we going to do both routines today, Miss Jessica?” one asks. “Will I need my uniform tonight?”

Tonight there are hundreds of things Jessica could be doing, like studying or spending time with her husband and kids.

But these girls have become her second set of children, and they look forward to these Friday nights.

“This team is worth it to me because it’s worth it to the girls,” Jessica said.

“When it’s important to someone else, it makes it easy.”

Jessica is the founder of the AllAmerican Starz Community Dance Team, a community cheer, pom, dance and leadership team based in Traverse City. They practice every Friday, year-round. They perform in parades, at nursing homes and charity events. Somehow, in between all of that, they find time to fundraise because All-American Starz is free to all dancers.

“Dance is an expensive hobby that can really add up,” Jessica said.

“Here, it’s an opportunity to be part of something bigger than just a team, it’s much bigger than what happens inside these four walls.”

Jessica’s Friday nights are an opportunity to share her passion with kids who wouldn’t otherwise get the chance to dance.

Passing on her passion Jessica donates her time because she knows what dance did for her. “[My instructors] taught me how to be myself, how to express myself, how to restrain myself when I needed to,” she said. “So many of the lessons that I continually use on a daily basis, I learned in dance.”

For Jessica, the magic actually starts with the kids’ frustration that comes with learning a routine or step.

“Teaching them to back off when they get frustrated and to take it slower, and work through things physically,” she said. “It teaches them the process to work through conflict in other areas of their life.”

Cheer, Jessica said, builds self-esteem because it’s so vocal.

“They’re all talking together, cheering together and you can hear them get louder, and be in unison as they’re building a team,” she said.

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It couldn’t be more true. Before the routine, I talk to many of the girls individually, and notice how softly and timidly they speak. But once their cheer routine starts, they become one strong voice that echoes throughout the community center.

It’s an amazing thing to watch, and that progression of confidence is something Jessica never tires of.

“To see them go from struggling with it, to believing in themselves, to getting it—that process is so rewarding,” Jessica said. “I’ll be teaching until I die!”

Getting Started Jessica started dancing when she was 7, and was teaching by the time she was 13. Going professional right after high school, she danced for the Denver Nuggets and for a professional soccer team in her native state of Colorado. She owned a successful dance studio before moving to Northern Michigan.

“When I moved to Michigan, I didn’t know anybody except my husband,” Jessica said. “So I started volunteering!”

Jessica became involved with the Salvation Army’s Spark in the Dark program, an organization that connects volunteers with volunteer opportunities. She told them she wanted to start a community dance team, and the Salvation Army volunteered their space. The community’s response to the All-American Starz Community Dance Team was immediate, and the program grew quickly.

“There seemed to be such a need for it; there were 30-some kids that first night,” she said. “They just poured in and it hasn’t stopped.”

All-American Starz is now officially part of the Salvation Army.

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Grand Traverse Woman

They donate the space and Jessica donates her time. There are three different seasons: spring is preparing for competition, summer is parade season, and fall is for holiday performances. The team fundraises for all of their uniforms, costumes and competition fees through bake sales, car washes and their GoFundMe page.

For Jessica, it’s a proud moment to see the girls take ownership of their team. She credits them with most of the fundraising efforts.

The girls’ uniforms are a prime example of just how much pride they take in their team. They’ve had their red t-shirts and skirts for more than a year. In that time, Jessica has had to replace very few pieces, a feat very rare for elementary-age school kids.

“It’s unheard of that we don’t have to replace uniforms and there are not stains on them,” she said. “They take care of themselves and their uniforms. They don’t take this for granted.”

Their hard work and dedication is paying off. This past April, the All-American Starz attended their first competition. They raised enough money for an entry free, and took the Salvation Army van down to Lansing for the Kids Artistic Revue competition. Armed with a superhero-inspired routine, the girls ended up winning first place.

Jessica said the best thing about the competition wasn’t winning: “I told them to leave every little thing out on the floor. Seeing the pride on their faces was the best part for me.”

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A woman on a mission The bond between Jessica and her girls is palatable the second you meet them. From the energy in the room to the permanent smiles across the girls’ faces. She’s not just their dance teacher— she’s their role model.

“It’s about helping kids find what’s actually going on with them so they express what they’re feeling in a healthier, calmer way,” Jessica said. “Dance is perfect for that because you’re using your body and you’re physically frustrated.”

While they’re learning dance skills and building confidence, they’re also learning how to give back the way their coach has.

Jessica currently holds the title of Mrs. Michigan and will compete for Mrs. America in August. The girls, expert fundraisers, are holding a blood drive and silent auction to get Jessica to the competition. It will be the first fundraiser they hold for someone else. “[The goal is] to use that power that you have, to help build selfesteem, to help build leadership skills, community skills, compassion,” she said. “All of the character-building that goes along with being a successful human, not just a successful dancer.”

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Jessica Mason Froehlich is originally from Denver, and moved to Northern Michigan in 2015. She's a newlywed, living with her family in Traverse City. Her passion for life comes from teaching kids to be kind to themselves, to others and to all living things. She can be reached at mrstraversecitymichigan@gmail.com.

TUNE IN! ABBY REED PHOTOGRAPHY

All this year, Grand Traverse Woman and 7&4 News will be profiling powerful women in Northern Michigan. Look for Kristen Lowe's reports on 7&4 News and her articles in Grand Traverse Woman. www.grandtraversewoman.com

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Grand Traverse Woman

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Grand Traverse

WOMAN IN BUSINESS

NEW Melissa Bibicoff, D.O. is the newest physician to join Northwood Obstetrics and Gynecology.

Bibicoff received her Doctor of Osteopathic Medicine at Michigan State University. She completed her obstetrics and gynecology residency at Henry Ford Wyandotte Hospital.

During her time at Michigan State University, Bibicoff acted as the MUC Vice President and the Student National Medical Association Vice President and Secretary. Her extensive background in volunteering is highlighted by her involvement with the Healthy Spartners Mentor Program, the Big Sib Little Sib Mentor Program, the MSUCOM Peer Mentor Program, as well as involvement with health fairs in the Detroit area. w w w. n o r t h w o o d o b g y n . c o m , 231.947.0404

Team Bob’s swiped right! Sherry Dodge is the new Marketing Director at Team Bob’s, where she will develop, coordinate and track all marketing activities.

She will also focus on creative communication strategies for all social media platforms. Sherry has worked in the marketing industry for over 10 years and has diverse experience with every stage of the marketing process. www.teambobs.com Luxus Concierge, is the first full-service personal concierge company to launch in Northern Michigan. It is a family owned business, owned and operated

by Jennifer LaCharite and Jake Jackson of Williamsburg. Luxus Concierge is a personal concierge company. Services include: errand services, personal assistant services, marina delivery services, wait for services, moving services, get well package services and

Grand Traverse Woman special discount packages for seniors.

While LaCharite continues with the success of her real estate brokerage, she has launched Luxus Concierge to meet some of those unmet needs in the community with the help of her son Jackson. info@uxusmi.com, 231.645.2257, www.luxusmi.com

After being acquired by Pets Naturally, the D.O.G. Bakery has relocated to a new addition currently under construction at the existing Pets Naturally location at 1420 S. Airport Rd. in Traverse City. “When I was approached by D.O.G., I was honored that they chose me and felt it was a perfect fit,” said Pets Naturally owner, Kathy Hyland.

Key staff members of the D.O.G. Bakery are moving to Pets Naturally to continue baking and decorating. www.petsnaturallytc.com Traverse City resident, Nancy Tucker, and co-author, Trilby Plants, also a Michigan native, announce the publication of their romantic suspense story, Double Danger, set in Michigan.

Tucker and Plants will be available

to sign books at Horizon Books in downtown Traverse City from 5 to 7 p.m.

July 22. It is also available at Amazon. com. Trilby Plants is a Michigan ex-pat and lives with her sports junkie husband in Murrells Inlet, SC. Nancy Tucker lives in N. Michigan with her husband.

Whitney Thorn has joined the sales team at Bay View Flooring in Traverse City. She originally joined their administrative team last fall, and for five years previous she co-owned a flooring installation business. Thorn recently completed Mohawk’s comprehensive flooring sales training at Mohawk U in Dalton, Ga. www.bayviewflooring.com Crystal Mountain has announced Chris MacInnes’ promotion to president of Crystal Enterprises, Inc. MacInnes, who serves as president of the resort’s real estate company, Crystal Properties, Inc., assumes the same role for Crystal Enterprises, Inc., which operates the resort side of the business. MacInnes has been a part of Crystal’s leadership since joining the resort with her husband, Jim, in 1985. www.crystalmountain.com

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Grand Traverse Woman Cindra Moore has opened a holistic practice in a rural clinic located at Windsong Center, LLC, in Honor. The spiritual retreat creates a safe environment to learn and grow, rest and renew the mind, body and spirit. Certified as a spiritual counselor, aromatherapist and in acupressure massage, Moore offers accommodations at Windsong Retreat as well.

231.325.4242, heartsongwellnesscenter.net Life coach Cathy Colburn has expanded her availability in both schedule and in style of coaching. Whether it is family dynamics, work, money, or simply life just not going the way you want, Colburn welcomes the chance to help your breakthrough happen now.

She has moved to a new location in Traverse City and can work with clients in person in her office or over the phone.

231.715.1294, www.cathycolburn.com The Father Fred Foundation announces the addition of Elaine Keaton to donor development and foundation communications to support the Father Fred mission. Keaton is a marketing

communications professional who has worked in both the for-profit and nonprofit sectors in Houston, Detroit and Traverse City. She was most recently the program/marketing manager at the Glen Arbor Art Association. Since 1989, The Father Fred Foundation has been providing food, clothing, household goods and financial assistance to those with less within the five-county community. www.fatherfred.org Floor Covering Brokers Carpet One welcomes Patti Galvas to its sales team. With interior design courses and a strong retail background, she brings with her an extensive knowledge of tile, natural stone, wood and all flooring. Galvas joins a staff of nine highly experienced floor covering experts at Floor Covering Brokers Carpet One. Barlow at South Airport Road in Traverse City. 231.941.4700, www.floorcoveringbrokers.com TransportHER.com, a new provider in the rideshare business, has chosen Traverse City to be the launch site city for its business in Michigan. The launch brings jobs for women to the area. TransportHER.com is an appbased rideshare service that focuses on serving female clients and hiring

female drivers. The rideshare service also serves senior citizens, and children age 16 and under, and will transport male riders depending on the availability of drivers.

TransportHER.com founders, Carlene Russell and Larry Russell, chose Traverse City for its numerous large city amenities on a smaller city scale. The company has immediate need for 10 to 20 drivers. www.TransportHER.com, 248.361.3279 Companion Animal Hospital welcomes Dr. Rebecca DeSimone, a graduate of the University of Illinois College of Veterinary Medicine. During her veterinary studies, she worked with a student outreach program teaching children about different aspects of veterinary medicine.

DeSimone’s professional interests include preventive care, dental care and nutrition. 231.935.1511 Shannon Mallek, controller at Honor Bank, has been promoted to assistant vice president.

Headquartered in Honor, Mallek has

been with the bank since 2013, and was most recently in the role of portfolio manager. She is a graduate of Saginaw Valley State University, where she earned a Bachelor’s Degree in Business Administration: Finance. While at SVSU, she was a member of Delta Sigma Pi Business Fraternity. She also recently graduated from the Michigan Bankers Association Perry School of Banking. www.myhonorbank.com Zonta Club of Traverse City announces that the 2017 ATHENA recipient is Lynne Moon. Moon is a native of Traverse City and has always been a strong voice for change. Her actions have broken the glass ceiling for others to follow and she has always demonstrated true initiative in her profession. She was the first woman in Traverse City to receive her builder’s license 34 years ago. She was also one of the first women invited to join Rotary. She is a board member for the Women’s Resource Center, Community Mental Health and Third Level Crisis Center, and has served on many other boards. Moon helped start a shelter program at the Arnel Engstrom School to provide meals, showers and laundry for the homeless in our community. www.zontatc.org

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Grand Traverse Woman Century 21 Northland welcomes two new Realtors: Meg Zammit just launched her career as a Realtor and, after 20 years here, she said she thinks the Grand Traverse area stacks up well in comparison with some of her favorite places. “I fell in love with living here,” said the mother of two school-age daughters. She adds that her background in banking, accounting, property management and running her own residential cleaning firm makes the move to realty a natural progression.

Meg.zammit@c21northland.com

of Jill Strahan, Licensed Master Social Worker, to the team of therapists, the clinic now offers behavioral health services to adults and adolescents. In addition to having experience with youths, Strahan specializes in the treatment of anxiety, depression, stress management, trauma and parenting issues. She is accepting new patients.

With a focus on the underserved, Traverse Health Clinic provides access to healthcare for everyone, insured and uninsured. 231.935.0799, www. traversehealthclinic.org

After seven years as a hair stylist, Nebraska native Hanna Gengenbach, has moved to Northern Michigan, where she became a Realtor and joined Century 21 Northland’s Traverse City office. “I’ve always liked customer service,” she said, adding that just as in her previous career, the fun part is “understanding each client’s unique needs and preferences.” hanna@c21northland.com

Charlotte (Beadle) Bengsch, owner of GreenStone Pathways, recently expanded the scope of her health and wellness practice by receiving certification in foot reflexology from the Universal College of Reflexology.

Bengsch has studied and practiced internationally in the field of energy medicine for over 40 years. 231.620.2794, www.greenstonepathways.com

Traverse Health Clinic, which opened in its new location at 1719 S. Garfield Ave., announces the expansion of its behavioral health services to patients ages 12 and older. With the addition

Traverse City Eye Consultants, PC, welcomes Ashley J. Holdsworth, DO , Ophthalmologist, to their staff.

Holdsworth is an Ophthalmologist who will practice at both of Traverse City

11th Annual GTWoman

CHICAGO Road Trip

November 10-12, 2017 (Fri-Sun) HOTEL: 2 nights lodging at the Courtyard Chicago Downtown Magnificent Mile.

MUSICAL: ESCAPE TO MARGARITAVILLE, featuring both original songs and your most-loved Jimmy Buffett classics.

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Eye’s clinics located in Traverse City and Kalkaska. She received her medical degree from Michigan State University College of Osteopathic Medicine.

Holdsworth, originally from Algonac, Michigan, has recently relocated to Traverse City. 231.935.8101, www. tceye.net Mission Point Press, a Traverse Citybased publisher, has launched INSIDE UPNORTH. The “insider” contributors include Heather Shaw, who also designed the book, Jodee Taylor, Gabrielle Shaw and more.

The 254-page book lists for $16.95.

INSIDE UPNORTH is a bigger, better guidebook to the Northwest Lower Peninsula. Available at Horizon Books. www.missionpointpress.com

KUDOS National Endowment for the Arts awarded an Art Works award of $15,000 to Interlochen Center for the Arts.

This award will support IAA guest artists during the 2017-18 academic year. At least 50 artists will perform master classes for some 500 students in grades 9-12 across each artistic and academic discipline. Many of the resulting performances, readings and exhibitions will be presented to the public throughout the year. “The arts reflect the vision, energy and talent of America’s artists and arts organizations,”

said NEA Chairman Jane Chu. “The National Endowment for the Arts is proud to support organizations such as Interlochen Center for the Arts, in serving their communities by providing excellent and accessible arts experiences.” interlochen.org

On June 12, The Father Fred Foundation recognized four volunteers who have, collectively, given 100 years of service to The Foundation. Sue Bauer, Volunteer Coordinator, said, “We are only able to do what we do for the community because of our very strong volunteer base of close to 250 volunteers. The Volunteers that give from their hearts would all agree that they receive by giving and that is one of the core values of The Foundation established by Father Fred himself.” The volunteers are: Jean Ammon, Kathy Belovich, Paula Prusick and Sue Tway. www.fatherfred.org Breeze Hill Greenhouse, owned by Carol Morris, has been named a 2017 Proven Winners Certified Garden Center, which signifies that employees have completed a comprehensive

100

YEARS OF GIVING

It’s a legacy of generosity.

The Father Fred Foundation is pleased and proud to recognize the 25 years of service of four of its volunteers. Jean Ammon, Kathy Belovich, Paula Prusick, and Sue Tway have tirelessly committed to our mission of community service. Because of them, and all our volunteers and generous donors, we can continue our critical work of assisting our neighbors in need with a variety of essential resources.

One person can make a difference.

To learn how you can help, please visit fatherfred.org

Locally founded. Locally funded. Locally focused.

826 Hastings Traverse City, MI

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(231)-947-2055

www.grandtraversewoman.com

Grand Traverse Woman training course to assist customers in choosing and growing Proven Winners plants successfully. Proven Winners is an international marketing cooperative comprised of some of the world’s most recognized plant propagators. www.breezehillgreenhouse.com

Two local administrative professionals share the 2017 Administrative Professional of the Year Award presented by the Northern Michigan Administrative Professionals of IAAP (International Association of Administrative Professionals): Debra J. Hunt, office manager and clerk of the Grand Traverse County Road Commission, and Shannon Mattson, an executive assistant at Cherryland Electric Cooperative.

Holly Gallagher, an independent financial advisor and president of Horizon Financial, has achieved Commonwealth Business Experience status for 2017. This

distinction recognizes success based on a ranking of annual production among Commonwealth’s network of 1,710 financial advisors.

Garbage Bag Suitcase, a book by Shenandoah Chefalo, of Traverse City, has won the 2016 Midwest Book Awards in the category of Social Science/ Political Science/ Culture. Garbage Bag Suitcase brings you on a journey of a child who is hiding in the open and no one comes to her aid.

According to the Children’s Bureau, a program of U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, it is estimated there are 500,000 children just like her in the United States foster care system. www.garbagebagsuitcase.com Jessica Mason Froehlich will represent the entire state this August when she competes as Mrs. Michigan at the Mrs. America Pageant in Las Vegas, which is to be nationally televised. Froehlich’s platform is “Compassion over Reaction: Stop Bullying by understanding why it starts.” Her goal is to educate children about bully behavior and showing compassion to others. Froehlich competed as Mrs. Traverse City, representing her hometown.

Award-winning Traverse City author, Kristy Kurjan, has published two new board books: The Many Ways To Say I Love You and Dream Sweet Dreams. Both books are illustrated by Tyler Parker, produced by KPO Creative, LLC and are distributed nationally. They can be purchased locally at Sweet Pea, Horizon Books, The Great Lakes Children’s Museum, Tumbleweeds at the Grand Traverse Resort and Brilliant Books. kristy.kurjan@gmail.com

EVENTS The Friends of the Peninsula Community Library will hold their annual Used-Book Sale from July 20 to Aug. 2 inside the Old Mission Peninsula School, 2699 Island View Rd., in the heart of the peninsula. The book sale opens to the public at 7 p.m.

July 20. After opening night, hours will run from 9 a.m. to 8:30 p.m. Monday and Thursday and 9 a.m. to 5:30 p.m. Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday.

Reduced pricing begins July 27 at $3 a bag! All proceeds from the book sale will

go to the library building fund. The new building will be located at the corner of Island View and Center Roads. The fourth annual Local Artists Fair will be held one day only on July 22 from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m., also at the school.

New this year, food trucks will be on site for the day. Twenty-five artists will have their work for sale, representing oil/acrylic/watercolor painting; jewelry of stone, beads, silver, copper, glass.

Also pressed-flower stationery, textiles, wearable art, photography, collage and small sculpture.

Michigan Legacy Art Park will present the Legacy Award to Doug and Anne Stanton at the annual Legacy Gala on Aug. 4. The Legacy Gala is the signature fundraiser for Michigan Legacy Art Park. The event takes place at Crystal Mountain and features a silent auction, sparkling wine reception, locally-sourced dinner, live music and the presentation of the Legacy Award. The Legacy Award honors those who make a significant, positive impact on Michigan’s arts, history, culture or environment. Doug and Anne Stanton will be recognized for their significant contributions to Michigan, including their own prolific writing. All event proceeds benefit Michigan Legacy Art Park. michlegacyartpark.org/events

Be a part of GTWoman’s Health Issue coming up next for Sept/Oct 2017!

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HEALTH PROFILES In the health industry, it’s important to establish a long lasting relationship. In this special section, take the time to open the door and let our readers see who you are and what makes you tick. Share the who, the what and the why!

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Grand Traverse Woman EVENTS 10th Annual Girls Night Out on Friday, Sept. 29th from 7-9 p.m.

Dave Chappelle and most recently for Amy Schumer and Aziz Ansari.

We are kicking off the 2017-18 Network Nite Season with a Wine & Comedy Show.

The event will be held at Leelanau Studios in Traverse City and is sponsored in part by the Leelanau Peninsula Wine Trail.

We will also have a shopping area to enjoy! And if you are a vendor looking for the opportunity to display your goods to 140+ women, email Kerry@grandtraversewoman. com or visit grandtraversewoman. com to reserve your booth at $125.

We will have food, wine, laughter and shopping. Indulge in a little wine and goodies for your Girls Night Out! Our Featured Winery is Verterra Winery. The Cheese Lady will offer cheese and wine pairings and Rocco’s Old World Pizzeria will offer pizza, pasta, salad and desserts.

Then get ready to laugh with the girls with comedienne Heather Jay Harris!

She is a seasoned veteran of comedy stages throughout the country.

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She has performed at the world famous Apollo Theater in Harlem New York, she opened The Funny or Die Oddball Comedy Festival with Big Jay Oakerson, TBS's Just For Laughs in Chicago, and Gilda Radner's LaughFest. She has also opened for Tommy Davidson, Tony Rock,

Admission is $15/each or 2/$20. Limited space and we normally sell out!

Thank you to our GTWoman Network Nite Sponsors for the 2017-2018 season: Corporate Sponsor Munson Medical Center and Supporting Sponsors Bayview Flooring & Design Center, Michigan College Planning, 106KHQ and TV 9&10 News.

If you are interested in being a part of this unique networking series for women in the area, email Kerry@grandtraversewoman. com to learn more about being a sponsor and developing a long-term relationship with area women!

GTWoman’s Chicago Trip Nov. 10-12 We have added a 4th bus! We have 16 seats left. The trip is Nov. 10-12 and we will be staying at the newly renovated Courtyard Chicago Downtown Magnificent Mile. The trip includes tickets to the Broadway musical “ESCAPE TO MARGARITAVILLE: More than a musical,” featuring both original songs and the most-loved Jimmy Buffett classics.

The trip includes 2 nights lodging in downtown Chicago, motorcoach transportation, 1 Broadway Show ticket, wine, prizes, games and goody bags. Cost: Quad: $395 each; Triple: $449 each; Double: $495 each. Visit www.grandtraversewoman.com to join us!

Model Call PHOTOGRAPHY I’m looking for female models 21+, no modeling experience needed.

If you’re interested please email Sarah stating WHY you want to model and attach a photo of yourself to: sarah@sarahbrown-photography.com Boudoir and/or Glamour 46

July/Aug '17

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Grand Traverse Woman

Grand Traverse Woman’s Sept/Oct

BE READY FOR

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July/Aug '17 47

mommatrouble 1412 (in the) hood 1612

Grand Traverse Woman

BY KERRY WINKLER

#

Hashtag

SQUADGOALS IF YOU’RE LIKE ME, first you dread the “ask.” You will have to wrack your brain for a good excuse to avoid it and fast. And they always seem to catch you off guard, mid-nap on a Thursday night when you are on the weekend countdown. You panic, stammer, say no six times in a row, then give in with a defeated yes. Now you’re facing down what used to be a much-anticipated Friday night as it morphs into a sleepless night with giggles and knocking on the door to demand answers to the shouts and thumps.

But now I’ve tapped into the magic of social media and its advantage for moms. I can see the ask coming from four days away on Brook’s Instagram feed. It will begin on a Monday or Tuesday and start to gather momentum as the girls hatch plans for whose house to go to, what they should pack and what boys to Facetime.

Hence I can start to gather my defenses. Suddenly I announce that our Friday night is now a busy family movie night. More flurry on Brook’s Instagram feed moving it to Saturday. But, oh wait, Brook, we are going to help Grandpa mow his lawn on Saturday. And, yes, it will take at least seven hours and last until dark.

Then…many sad faces appear on Instagram accounts and I have a wonderful weekend as planned.

But sometimes I cave. I decide I can be a good mom and endure.

I watch the momentum gather on the Instagram with lots of likes, hearts and selfies as it looks like Brook will be the one to pony up and ask her mom for the Friday night sleepover. When Brook rolls out the Thursday night ambush, I calmly and surprisingly say yes (mom points!). I catch an extra-long sleep on Thursday and order three pizzas on the way home Friday night.

And then the girls arrive. I have a fully stocked fridge and a fully charged phone ready to do this sleepover. I can hear giggles, music and shouts behind the closed door. But I just have to wait for the picture to be posted. I’m in the know with only a 20-second lag time, along with 404 other followers. I never have to leave the

48

July/Aug '17

PREPPING FOR THE SLEEPOVER.

couch to pound on the door and demand answers. I can see it all there at #squadgoals. (I only panic when there are no posts: then I know there’s real trouble brewing.)

I watch silently as likes, hearts and comments are posted in the feed. It doesn’t take long to figure out who’s a friend, who’s a frenemy and who’s to be blocked shortly. This will be the feeder information for the next sleepover request and I’m sure to be doing some mothering later as needed.

And the ultimate babysitter: the timestamp. Lights out at 11 and if I see one selfie from 11:01 on Instagram, there’s going to be old-school door pounding and confiscating of phones. And no one wants to risk that.

The social media advantage works in the daylight hours too.

I garner very current and hip slang reading the comments from the teenagers. I then will use words like “woke” and “shook” with the girls when I serve pancakes in the morning. And, full disclosure, I really don’t know these words and I’m pretty sure I use them wrong, but, the more eye rolls from Brook, the more certain that my house will not be hosting the next sleepover. It’s definitely a win-win for me. #squadgoals

Kerry Winkler is account director and co-publisher of Grand Traverse Woman. She lives in Interlochen with her two kids (one’s just learning to drive & she has new gray hair sprouting with each turn). She loves hiking outdoors and planning the next wine tour for GTWoman! She can be reached at kerry@grandtraversewoman.com.

www.grandtraversewoman.com

Grand Traverse Woman

FOR FIVE YEARS

momma 1412

we've hosted an end-ofschool party. Several families and dozens of kids.

It's part celebration, part chaos.

We try to keep the children out on the front deck and in the front yard, fueled with pop and snacks. While the covered back deck is the haven for the adults. Over the years, we’ve added a couple of couches onto the deck and hung curtains around the back. An ancient wooden bar from the 1970s also migrated from our basement to the back deck. It’s become an outdoor homegrown party pad.

But something happened this year.

We live on 12 acres and the kids decided to dig a trench out in the front field. They didn’t stop there. They filled it with water. Then, they dove in.

Yes, the children were daring each other to lie in it, jump in it, belly crawl through it. It was a grand time for the kids, and the adults, well, we stood by and watched.

Which was the problem.

There had been a time, just a few years back, when this party was a thinly disguised excuse for the adults to belly crawl through mud holes. Back then, the kids were too little to imitate (or care about) what we were doing. They were busy innocently playing on the trampoline out front while we came up with stupid things to do out back.

There was the year that we took a tire off of Jake’s Jeep. The year my car was stolen and parked down the road with “FOR SALE” written in lipstick on the window. The year we had a Dogman walk through the woods, which made all the children cry. The time I briefly wrestled a child for stealing my “drinking bell.”

And, my favorite, the year we put the couch in the yard and the guys posed like George Costanza on it.

We had a blast. We had lots of shenanigans and hijinx. We bartended and b.s.’ed. The party was held on the weekend after the last day of school and the parents had plenty of steam to blow off after our hours of idling in the pick-up/drop-off line.

This year, however, soccer tournaments hemmed us in. We were forced to have the party on the actual last day of school—a Wednesday. Too far from the weekend to really get crazy. (A Thursday would have been OK with only one unproductive Friday to face down. But a Wednesday? That’s nearly half a workweek to tangle with.)

So we sat on the back deck sipping our Wednesday-night cosmos, just one each, and traded low-calorie recipes. Whilst the kids ruined their clothes and performed belly flops out front, living out their parents’ dreams.

www.grandtraversewoman.com

BY KANDACE CHAPPLE WWW.KANDACECHAPPLE.COM

Grown-ups

“Come see this!” they hollered.

Off we went in our sensible shoes and unsoiled shirts to observe their foolishness. A little part of me died inside. What was happening?!

Someone brought up our “glory days” and fears were raised: Were they really behind us in our early 40s? We assured each other that they weren’t, even as we checked our legs for ticks and sipped water.

The party seemed to be a disaster for the adults.

Everyone was upright. I had bought the “ideal inflatable husband” to bartend but he had almost zero business for the evening. No one was shouting abuse at anyone else, and, worst of all, someone asked what time it was.

We had grown up. I was in horrors. We would, every one of us, feel fine tomorrow morning at work.

Sure enough, as the mud-diving children grew cold, their reliable parents started making noise about leaving. I thought of the days when 10 p.m. was kick-off time and took a moment to honor the memory of our youth.

But. Tim saved the day. While everyone was busy refusing to do our traditional “Sparkle Donkey” tequila shots, he carried on the tradition of party pranks.

With the help of another dad, a certain Jeep was Saran-wrapped shut. (It pays to have a builder for a husband because he had a huge roll to wrap pallets with.) In no time, the Jeep was sealed for freshness.

What a relief! We could still have fun. (I was only disappointed that Tim had been so sensible.

No long-term damage to the paint job, etc.)

Nevertheless, it was a good prank and everyone

got a laugh out of it.

Then, revenge was extracted. After bidding everyone an early-bird goodbye, I went inside to eat the leftover cake that all of my mature, caloriecounting friends had turned down.

And… the utensil drawer was gone. In its place, the towel drawer. My kitchen drawers had all been switched out. More hunting revealed bananas in the dishwasher and a saltshaker in the microwave.

Jeep Jake had sought his tender-handed, ageappropriate revenge. Because what’s worse than ransacking the kitchen of a soccer mom? Nothing.

In addition, someone (Megan) had put a plastic crab in my bed. And Tim's deer target stood in the shower. Again.

Tim and I were laughing. We could still get (mildly, sensibly, carefully) crazy.

And then, the signature close to the night rang out: The Jeep, trailing Saran Wrap in its wake, laid rubber as it hit the pavement at the end of our long dirt driveway. Ah, yes, the end of another successful party.

And the adults were home and in bed by a (work-appropriate, Sparkle Donkey-free) 10:30 p.m.

Kandace Chapple is the editor and co-publisher of Grand Traverse Woman.

She loves books, mountain biking and family. When her two kiddos, Cookie the dog, or work aren't calling, she’s out mountain biking on the gorgeous dirt trails of Northern Michigan. You can reach Kandace at kandace@grandtraversewoman.com.

Read her blog at www.kandacechapple.com.

July/Aug '17 49

Grand Traverse Woman

2017

All proceeds benefit the Women’s Cancer Fund

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Grand Traverse Woman

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July/Aug '17 51

Summer Area Rug Sale and Clearance

Grand Traverse Woman

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52 July/Aug '17 1035 S. Garfield Ave, Traverse City

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