GTWoman May/June 2017 Issue

Grand Traverse

WOMAN

northern michigan’s network for women ◆ MAY/JUNE '17

The

Motherhood Issue

Inside: • • • • •

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May/June '17

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Grand Traverse Woman

Grand Traverse

WOMAN2WOMAN WOMAN

BY KANDACE CHAPPLE & KERRY WINKLER

northern michigan’s magazine for women

Soap Opera

Volume 14, No. 5 May/June 2017 Grand Traverse Woman P.O. Box 22 Interlochen, MI 49643 tel: 231.276.5105 www.grandtraversewoman.com BLOG: www.kandacechapple.com FACEBOOK: www.facebook.com/grandtraversewoman PUBLISHERS Kandace Chapple Kerry Winkler EDITOR Kandace Chapple, kandace@grandtraversewoman.com

NORTHERN ART PHOTOGRAPHY

ACCOUNT DIRECTOR Kerry Winkler, kerry@grandtraversewoman.com ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES Brenda Barton, brenda@grandtraversewoman.com Deb Dent, deb@grandtraversewoman.com Sherry Galbraith, sherry@grandtraversewoman.com Lori Maki, lori@grandtraversewoman.com ASSISTANT EDITOR Lisa Maxbauer Price, lisam@grandtraversewoman.com COPY EDITOR Christine Kurtz

The Young & The Restless. We used to watch it with our mother. She has been gone 10 years now but never, ever does the theme music to Y&R come on that we don’t go back to sitting on the couch on a summer day with Mom. Back then, we eked out an hour a day together, no matter what, enjoying the antics of the Newman family.

For this Mother’s Day, we take a look at the Y&R years with our mother: THE SACRED HOUR: Y&R came on from 12:30-1:30 p.m. Later, The Bold & The Beautiful would extend the sacred hour by another half.

PREP PERIOD: Sandwiches were to be made with plenty of time to carry them into the living room. There was only a little TV in the kitchen. We had to round the bend to get into the living room to get a full-size view. Woe to the daughter caught slathering mayo on a slice of bread when the show started. She would be shunned until the first commercial break, none of her questions answered, punishment for her carelessness.

COMMERCIAL BREAKS: These were not a good time to start an in-depth conversation. You would only be cut short when the show came back on. However, you could shout out guesses about who shot the guy in Nikki’s horse stable, but wasn’t it ironic that it turned out he was actually a woman who had a thing for Nikki? And Sheila’s coming back too, I bet. (Insert heated debate on how many times Sheila’s “died” on the show: 3? 4? 5.

Definitely 5. Or was it 6?)

VISITORS: Our mother barely disguised her disgust if our father happened home for lunch during the Sacred Hour. He’d blow into the kitchen, wait for her to make an unanticipated extra sandwich during the prep period (thereby throwing us off schedule), then camp out to watch the show with us. Horrors.

He loved to point out huge plot holes and make fun of the Newman family, as well as his own wife and daughters for watching them. Once, he went so far as to suggest Victor lose the moustache.

Our mother would eventually erupt in Y&R rage. We’re trying to listen! she would shout. Our father would answer, What? in glee, taking a huge bite of his sandwich, catching the roast beef falling from it, laughing. Finally, it was time for him to go. When the door shut, our mother would mutter, Oh, that man!

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RECORDING: Initially, there was no recording of the show. If we missed it, we missed it. Nightmare beyond nightmares.

Trips to town were planned precisely around the Sacred Hour. If we screwed up, we had to stoop to the worst fix of fandom known to man: a summary paragraph in a soap opera digest.

Later, we had a BETA, then a VCR tape recorder. There wasn’t the ability to set up a program yet, so instead we’d have to judge how much room was left on the tape cassette (hold it up to the light—half, you needed at least half a roll left), before popping it in and hitting “Record.” There were lots of complications with this method.

One. You might miscalculate the space left on the tape. Missing the last five minutes would put everyone in a tailspin, shouting would ensue and, sometimes, a fist to the top of the machine.

Two. You’d have to fast-forward over at least an hour or two of tape, depending on how long you took at Meijer. This job was best assigned to someone with patience. In other words, no one qualified.

And three. Sometimes the shows ran together so much, you couldn’t find the beginning of that day’s soap. Victor was lost in a different plane crash every day but we hadn’t seen this fireball yet, had we?

Finally, the day came when we had a VCR that could be programmed. But, and this proved to be a problem many times over, you had to remember to turn the VCR on before you left the house so the programming would work.

Oh the angst of being halfway to town and doubting if the VCR was left on. It was worse than wondering if your curling iron was left on. Missing the soap was a blame game that came in a close second to burning down the house.

We wonder now what our mother would think of today’s DVRs. A true gift to soap opera fans everywhere. But, frankly, they take some of the fun out of it, don’t they?

We’re sad to say we just don’t watch Y&R anymore, having long lost the story line. It’s just not the same without Mom. But every now and then, the old instinct will kick in: We’ll see it’s 12:15 p.m. and a zeal will overtake us.

We’ll speed-make a bologna sandwich (Mom’s favorite), silence everyone in the house, commandeer the TV and clamor onto the couch, just in time to hear the opening notes of Y&R .

It’s all we need to hear to take us back to the days with Mom.

DESIGNER Bethany Gulde, bethany@grandtraversewoman.com COVER PHOTO Kelli (Kaberle) Cravey with her children Coral and Vann. Kelli will speak at our May 25th luncheon on a life-changing decision. See her story on page 10.

Beth Price Photography, www.bethpricephotography.com PHOTOGRAPHERS Sarah Brown, Sarah Brown Photography www.sarahbrown-photography.com Scarlett Piedmonte, Photography by Scarlett www.photobyscarlett.com Beth Price, Beth Price Photography www.bethpricephotography.com ADMINISTRATIVE ASSISTANT Melissa Cole, melissa@grandtraversewoman.com CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Nichole Baldwin Ann Barraclough Katherine Brege Kimmaley Burch Virginia Coulter Kelli (Kaberle) Cravey Nicole Edenburn Leslie Haskin Donna Hogard Morgan Kelsey Kate Kniss Shannon Kochis Christine Kurtz Meagan McLain Heather Shumaker Wendy Steele ADVERTISING Kerry Winkler at 231.276.5105 or kerry@grandtraversewoman.com Visit www.grandtraversewoman.com for rates.

SUBSCRIPTIONS To receive GTWoman at home, mail $20 (for 6 issues) to: Grand Traverse Woman, P.O. Box 22, Interlochen, MI 49643 ARTICLES/PRESS RELEASES Letters, inquiries, press releases and GTWoman In Business submissions are welcome.

See www.grandtraversewoman.com for guidelines.

MISSION STATEMENT Grand Traverse Woman is a bimonthly magazine dedicated to the interests of women in the five-county region. Our mission is to provide women with a publication that is educational and inspirational. We strive to maintain a positive, well-balanced and genuine forum for women's issues. (We also like funny stuff.) © Copyright 2017 Grand Traverse Woman LLC All rights reserved.

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Grand Traverse Woman

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May/June '17

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Grand Traverse Woman

WOMAN IN BUSINESS PROFILE

Nicole Edenburn

MEET: Nicole Edenburn, 40, Lake Ann

THE MENTORS: I have been fortunate enough to

THE JOB: I’m the retail sales manager for Chemical

have at least three great mentors—someone at the different stages of my career—who taught me so much. I think one of the best things people can do is find someone you connect with and aren’t afraid to share your struggles and your successes with, especially when you have something really difficult to do. They will talk you through things and help you come out a better person.

Bank’s Traverse City Community Bank. The bank consists of 17 banking centers across 7 counties.

My role involves regular branch visits, coaching employees across my territory and building community relationships. I have been in retail and sales for 22 years.

MY START: After graduating from Kingsley High School, I started my career with Designs Inc., a clothing retailer. I quickly moved up in the company and began traveling across the country, training managers and opening new locations. I lived in Saginaw and Florida before moving back to this area, where I got involved in banking.

MY RETURN: I knew I wanted to come back to Northern Michigan. My older sister and I had just had the first two grandbabies in the family.

It was difficult to be so far away. So when my husband and I had our second child in 2004 we decided we needed to be closer to family. I know most people say I’m crazy for leaving Florida to come back here, but I missed having four seasons. There is not a prettier place to live.

THE BALANCE: I really try to shut off from work when I am home. That is not always possible, but it means a lot to me to be able to come home and have dinner as a family and be present for them. We try to get out and enjoy everything our area has to offer. For me, being outdoors is one of the best ways for me to keep my sanity!

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THE PERKS OF THE JOB: I know this sounds cliché, but my favorite thing about working at Chemical is our commitment to the community. We are involved in so many different organizations and community events, which is rewarding. Not only do we encourage our employees to volunteer, but we give them multiple opportunities to be involved through regular sponsorships and our VIP incentive program. For some, it is their first experience with volunteering. Seeing how good it makes them feel is really encouraging.

THE STRENGTHS: I am self-motivated and really committed to what I do. I think I got that from my parents. They have always been hard workers. I have never asked for anything to be handed to me and I have never asked someone to do something I wouldn’t do myself.

THE QUIRKS: If you ask my team what makes me unique they would probably tell you it is my laugh… you can hear it through the whole building! Seriously though, days can be tough

sometimes and just having fun is huge. It sure makes the days a lot brighter.

SOMETHING YOU WISH YOU’D KNOWN: The most important thing that I have learned and would have benefited from is having patience with others and not beating myself up over the little things. Don’t get caught up with negative things or things that are not important in the long run.

ADVICE FOR THOSE STARTING OUT: Smile and make eye contact with coworkers and customers. Also, I would suggest setting goals. It can be so easy to get wrapped up in the day-to-day and not focus on what you want and what is important to you.

ADVICE: As one of many women in leadership positions at Chemical Bank, I would challenge other women to look for opportunities to help their organization improve and help them to do it. Don’t just point out flaws, point out possible solutions. Also ask for feedback and be open to receiving it. It can be difficult, but that’s the key to improving.

Nicole Edenburn is vice president, retail sales manager for Chemical Bank in Traverse City. When she’s not traveling across Northwest Michigan supporting Chemical Bank’s 17 retail locations, you can spot her tending to her garden or enjoying the lakeshore with her husband, Jeremy, and their three children. If you’d like to know more about Chemical Bank (Chemical Bank Member FDIC) visit www.ChemicalBank.com or reach out to Nicole at Nicole.edenburn@chemicalbank.com.

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Grand Traverse Woman

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Grand Traverse Woman

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Grand Traverse Woman

A life-changing decision

A double mastectomy reduced this young mother’s cancer risk from 85 percent to 3 percent

BY KELLI (KABERLE) CRAVEY

EVERY major decision I’ve made has been influenced by my mom’s short life. Her story has so much to do with my own.

Mom’s battle I was sitting at Silver Lake Elementary School in 1989. The librarian was reading aloud a story to my sixth grade class, but all my 11-year-old brain could think about was the news I’d learned the day before: my mom had breast cancer.

How could this be happening to my family, my world, my mom? She was the picture of health. She walked every day from our house on Long Lake Peninsula to Boone’s and back—4 miles! She ate organic; yes, back before it was cool.

Yet, despite all that, my mom was diagnosed at the age of 40 with Stage 3 breast cancer after her very first mammogram. Skip ahead, through a barrage of surgeries, treatments, tests... With every “test” came the dreaded “results.” She never seemed to get a good report back.

My sweet mom spent four years battling this disease. Losing her hair with one treatment, losing muscle mass with another, yet never losing her positive attitude.

When I did not receive a call from my family when I was at a figure skating competition in Marquette, I knew what that meant. The latest test had shown the cancer had metastasized to mom’s brain.

When I got home, I walked in the door with two medals hidden in my jacket to surprise my mom. I sat in her lap. She held me tightly in her arms and we both just started to cry.

I asked her why this was happening to us.

Why? I watched so many friends skip through life without a care in the world. Why did we have to deal with this?

I can still hear my mom’s response in my head, that voice—ah I miss that voice— “KelliAnne, you will learn about life by watching the world around you, watching people experience things.

We just happen to be the example, the people, that others learn from.”

My mom died two months later.

KELLI WITH HER CHILDREN CORAL AND VANN.

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www.grandtraversewoman.com

BETH PRICE PHOTOGRAPHY

A YOUNG KELLI WITH HER MOTHER, DEBBIE.

Grand Traverse Woman

My decision I grew up knowing I was at risk for developing breast cancer. But it wasn’t until Angelina Jolie shared her story publicly that I made the decision: If I had the gene, the “ladies” were going to go!

Around the same time, my aunt (my mom’s sister), was diagnosed with breast cancer. I am happy to say she beat it and her battle revealed that our family did carry the BRCA1 mutation gene. It was my turn to be tested.

On March 12, 2015, my husband, my 6-month-old baby boy and KELLI, POST-SURGERY. I walked into the consultation room where we lived in Buffalo, NY, to get my results. The woman looked visibly distraught. I instantly knew I had the gene. It’s a 50/50 shot that either you get your mom’s or your dad’s genes. And I had my mom’s.

Walking out of the office and getting into our car… there was silence. I remember holding my husband’s hand and looking at my son in the back seat…and then thinking of my 5-year-old daughter, and I broke down. My odds of getting breast cancer were now between 60 and 85 percent. I could handle dealing with this, but now it was in my children’s future too.

My supportive husband knew exactly what we needed to do. Head to my special place—Traverse City—to see my dad and to make a plan.

I was surprised that my husband and dad didn’t think twice when I told them I wanted to undergo a prophylactic double mastectomy. They were relieved.

Within the next month, I had my first of three surgeries. (Insurance covered all of it.) Along with removing both breasts, I had my centennial lymph node removed too, just to be sure.

Getting back the news that my lymph nodes were clear was one of the best feelings I have ever had, second only to hearing that all of my breast tissue was also free of cancer. The call came in a number of days early… on my mom’s birthday.

Through surgery, I’d dropped my risk of breast cancer to just 3 percent. But looking at my new body in the mirror was hard. I’d lost nine pounds of breast, yep, nine pounds—so it was a big change. My first shower, I cried the entire time.

I’ve come a long way in the year since my last surgery, and I don’t just mean going from a 36FF to a D cup. I feel relieved and empowered by my ability to make this decision.

Mom’s impact I lost my mom far too soon, but her lessons still touch my life every day. Her impact on me in just 15 years was huge.

Mom taught me to love myself. She told me often always to be good to myself first. As a mother now, I know that if I do not take care of myself—healthwise, mentally, physically—I won’t be able to care for anyone else.

My mom shared with me that she was too hard on herself growing up. So now I make sure to have fun. I love early mornings, I love girlie things like make-up and doing my hair… and I choose to be genuinely happy, all the time.

Mom taught me to be present in the moment. Often in my mom’s journey, she would stop and take a deep breath. I knew she was reminding herself, despite all the struggles swirling around her like a tornado, to be grateful. She was grateful to watch me figure skate, to knit, to sit on our front deck overlooking Long Lake and smell, see and feel the abundance of its beauty.

Some of my favorite moments now are one-on-one time with my kids…listening about their day, blasting music in the car and singing at the top of our lungs. I can’t help but smile and think, is this really my life? I’m so lucky! My mom would be so happy.

Mom taught me to be in the driver’s seat. I believe the great gift in all this was the lesson in knowing unequivocally I am in charge of my own destiny. I make sure to live where my heart is and have a job at a place that allows deep purpose-driven work.

Through all the surgeries, my young daughter wanted to help me.

She was my buddy in the entire process. I don’t know if she understands that she may have to make this decision one day or not… I just pray I have given her the courage to be in the driver’s seat and face this head on as I did.

In the meantime, I will continue to love with my whole heart, create a home filled with laughter and manage my health.

After all, I learned from the very best example—Debbie Ann Kaberle, my mom.

Grand Traverse Woman 2017

LUNCHEONS

BETH PRICE PHOTOGRAPHY

Kelli (Kaberle) Cravey was born and raised in Traverse City. She graduated with a communications degree from Michigan State University. Cravey began working at the American Cancer Society, in memory of her mom Debbie Kaberle in 2005, where she raised literally millions of dollars and awareness for breast cancer. Last summer, she relocated her family— husband and two kids—back to the Cherry Capital, where this former National Cherry Queen now uses her fundraising powers at Munson Healthcare Foundation in Philanthropy. You can reach her at kkcravey@aol.com.

SAYING 'TATA' TO THE TATAS!

Meet Kelli Cravey—a carrier for the BRCA 1 genetic mutation for breast cancer and ovarian cancer. She’ll share her emotional story of losing her mother to breast cancer as a child, and how that inspired her to make the brave decision to undergo a prophylactic double mastectomy. It’s the courageous story of what it takes to be in the driver seat of your own health, and how to become a “pre-vivor” (rather than risk the odds of becoming a cancer “survivor”).

The luncheon is 11 a.m. to 1 p.m. at the Hagerty Center in Traverse City. We also have vendor booths available at the event for $185 (includes 2 lunch tickets). Thank you to our series sponsors Chemical Bank and GTOC, and our supporting sponsors TV 9&10, Lite 96, Fox Grand Traverse, Northwood Animal Hospital, Sarah Brown Photography and SCORE. Lunch tickets are $35 or 2 for $60. Visit www.grandtraversewoman.com for tickets and to sign up to be a vendor. Join us for lunch!

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May/June '17 11

Grand Traverse Woman

“Your care and concern was above and beyond.”

“Thanks for being so easy to work with. You do a great job.”

– Mark and Patty

– Marilyn

Peg Jonkhoff

Nicole Wetsrick, CPC

Administrative Director/Co-owner

Certified Preplanning Consultant

This year marks my 25th year as co-owner with my husband Dan of the Reynolds-Jonkhoff Funeral Home. I salute the women and men of this area who strive to make a difference and help people cope with the challenges as well as embrace the joys of life's amazing journey.

I began my career at Reynolds-Jonkhoff Funeral Home in 1997. The most rewarding part of my work is the relief that is evident for those who choose to preplan.

Often, our meeting concludes with such comments as, “That was so much easier than I expected.”

I love the work I do and the people with whom I work. It rarely feels like “work.”

Pictured from left-right: Lindsey (Jonkhoff) Rogers and Chris Jonkhoff-Hater (sixth generation funeral directors) Dan and Peg Jonkhoff, co-owners.

The Jonkhoff family and caring staff are the ones you can trust and depend on… today and tomorrow.

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Grand Traverse Woman

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May/June '17 13

Grand Traverse Woman

INSPIRED

AFTER RUNNING UP AND DOWN MCKINLEY ROAD HILL, OLD MISSION PENINSULA RESIDENT CHRISTINE KURTZ FINISHES THE LAST TWO MILES OF THE 2013 MEIJER FESTIVAL OF RACES 15K RUN. THIS YEAR WILL MARK HER 33RD RUNNING OF THE 15K.

‘My running life begins’

by my brother John’s training for the Detroit Free Press marathon and having watched my first road race, the Shamrock Run in Clare, on March 18, 1979, I opened a brand new hardcover journal and wrote: “My running life begins.”

Those are bold, prophetic words and I wrote them with the hope that I would indeed have a “running life.” Hope, but also determination to make it happen. I was already keeping a daily journal but this would be different, totally devoted to running.

Many volumes later, that journal is what keeps me going more than anything else. I have logged every run since Day One. There is something about having to write it down that motivates me: time of day, weather, distance, pace.

Indeed I have had a “running life.” And I don’t plan to quit now but I will pass a very important milestone July 8 when I “run” (jog, walk) the Cherry Festival of Races 15k for the 33rd time since 1982. I love the race with the crest of McKinley Road hill marking the turnaround point (“Mount McKinley” as some call it).

Completing that race now that I’ve turned 70 is more important to me than the four marathons and 10 half marathons I have run.

In the beginning, as mother to three pre-school daughters, I looked to running as “ME” time. I set my alarm for 5 a.m. so I could get in a short 2-3 mile run and be home before my husband left for work. I could be showered and ready for the day before the girls noticed I’d been gone. Though not necessary now, I return to the 5 a.m. wake-up call every so often.

Watching the dawn slowly expand over the horizon is one of the countless pleasures of running outdoors. Running should be a pleasure. (If it isn’t, walk. You can get the same benefits, though you will miss the “runner’s high.”)

Although eventually I would run to music, I have returned to just appreciating all of the sights and sounds of the outdoors. Would I notice the eagle at the top of that tree if I were distracted by music? When I first competed in road races, no one was running with headphones or ear buds. I loved hearing the happy banter of the runners. Now it seems that half of all casual racers are plugged in.

Running is an activity I most enjoy by myself. I let my mind lead me where it wants to go. Often I begin with prayer.

Then I move on to organizing my day and problem-solving.

Sometimes I’ll come up with a great idea, an answer to a nagging problem—but if I don’t put it to use as soon as I get home, I find it has vanished.

Occasionally scheduling a run with a friend can be motivational and help with goals. I’ve had a couple of neighborhood running companions, Bill and Mike, who challenged me to pick up my pace. Bill would give me a 10-minute head start and then race to catch me. I remember it being about the 5-mile point when he finally did. He was ready to slow down by then and we had easy conversation for three more miles.

Good training for both of us.

I enjoyed competing in many road races in Traverse City when the sport was just starting to grow in popularity. Some were short-lived, such as the Steth-o-lope and the Tuba Trot.

Others came and stayed, such as the Bayshore. I inaugurated the first Bayshore 10k in 1983 alongside fellow aerobic

BY CHRISTINE KURTZ

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Grand Traverse Woman

dance instructor, Kathy. In the early years we entered all of the local races together. But as my family was growing up, hers was just beginning.

For the past 10 years, my not-to-miss races have been the Cherry Festival 15k and the Arizona Rock ’n’ Roll Half Marathon, which has been a family event every January with several family members running.

Running goals are easily measured. The day my “running life began” my goal was to be on the road for 20 minutes.

Going beyond 3 miles was the first goal I found difficult but then they fell one by one: a 5k, a 10k, the National Cherry Festival 15k. In the early ’80s, at its peak, over 1,000 runners would register. It was the flagship race of the Cherry Festival before the 10k and half marathon were added.

I have always been a four-season runner and my wardrobe is accommodating. The best advice from a seasoned runner: Traverse City icon Mickey Fivenson told me I would feel cooler if I wore a white cap in the summer sun.

In the winter I wear a headband and a stocking cap. In the worst of conditions I might add a hood and something to cover my face. Former neighbor Bill said that he started running through the winter when he saw me step outside whatever the weather and take to the road.

About the only weather condition that might keep me housebound is a wind chill of 20-below. I can remember a time or two when, facing a stiff northwest wind, I contemplated turning around. I forgave myself if I did. At least I gave it a try.

The coldest run I remember was on an early spring afternoon when Mike and I were doing a long run (probably close to 20 miles) training for my second Bayshore Marathon, his first. We started out in the sun, running north on Old Mission Peninsula. Then we turned south, the sun high in the sky. But when we crossed over to West Bay heading back to Bowers Harbor, we were assaulted by the aforementioned northwest wind. I’ll never forget how cold I was in bare arms and legs. I was close to tears and we still had 4 miles to go.

The warmest run? Thanks to my white cap, I can’t think of one!

In my early years of running, I did not keep an annual total of miles logged. When I did, I noted that I was running at least 800 miles a year and up to 1,200 if I was training for a marathon. Oh, the books I could have read during that time... the books I could have written!

I still have a weekly goal of 20 miles in four days of running, which figures out to about 1,000 miles in a year. But it takes me twice as long now. A neighbor saw me walking up my road recently after a 5-mile run and congratulated me for keeping at it. Then he asked, “Do you still run?”

I replied, “I think I’m still running!”

At this point in my running life, that is good enough. So, I think I will run that race in July.

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A retired high school journalism teacher and award-winning publications advisor, Grand Traverse Woman copy editor, Christine Kurtz lives on Old Mission Peninsula with her husband, Rod, and cats, Dora and Jake. She said she is blessed to have run for 37 years, virtually injury-free. And she is pleased to say, as an important footnote to her story, that her three daughters have made physical fitness, often including running, a priority in their lives. She can be reached at kchristinekurtz@gmail.com.

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A Different Path to

Motherhood

BY KATHERINE BREGE

IT ALL STARTED with a text from my older sister on my 37th birthday.

“When are you giving my boys a cousin? You’re getting old!” And I was.

I had been in and out of relationships over the years but nothing stuck. I knew I always wanted a mini me, but a busy life had happened and kids went on the back burner.

So there I was… great career, wonderful friends, supportive family in town. I had just purchased my second home, completed one marathon and was training for a second. I was 37… and ready. Ready for a baby, on my own and on my terms. Here’s how I did it and earned the title of “mom.”

Preparing my body and mind For starters, I scheduled an appointment with Grand Traverse Women’s Clinic, explained what I wanted and began my path. (Luckily I have friends in the baby business who helped me along the way.)

As with many women trying to get pregnant, first came ovulation tracking. It was pretty basic. I found a good app to use on my cell phone and got started.

Checking that my baby-making organ was working meant lots of doctor appointments. Some painful.

Luckily, I had optimism, good insurance and a healthy body.

KATHERINE (RIGHT) WITH DAUGHTER ADDIE AND PARTNER TABI ON A FAMILY VACATION.

Next, the research kicked in. To find the right specimen I went to www.fairfaxcryobank. com. This involved reading a lot to learn about what type of sperm to buy. I discovered the costly “good stuff” was IUI (Intrauterine Insemination) washed (meaning: separated) sperm.

I called the company to ask questions that I’m sure they’ve heard a million times, but I didn’t care. This was important. I asked questions from my doctor like: What genetic abnormalities do you test for? And how far back is the donor’s history?

The answers calmed me in 30 seconds. “Our donors are in the program for at least three years with the same partner and tested for over 80 genetic abnormalities. It’s the top of the line.” Those initial steps proved easy, however, compared to my next decision.

Picking the Sperm It was time to choose a sperm donor. There were SO many options!

The website has “basic” search options (ancestry, height, hair color) or “advanced” (favorite subject, pet preference, religion, etc.) of the donor. It was overwhelming. Each search came back with multiple options that all sounded outstanding. But… this would be my child. I needed help.

Let me set the scene: Porch with wine, laptops and BFFs. My top five best friends spent an afternoon reading, listening, laughing, critiquing and seeing baby pictures of potential donors. (I felt lucky. I mean, I got to pick the donor vs. just ending up with some oddball I fell in love with.)

We narrowed the list down to eight possibilities. I even involved friends from out of state.

It was great that they could give input too. This was going to be an epic village event.

The decision ultimately came down to my sitting alone on my couch one night and deciding my top specimen to buy. Winner: #2446! Yay!!!

As for how much to buy? Overall it would cost close to $900 per “try” considering ovulation checks, sperm, shipping, insemination and storage of sibling sperm.

KATHERINE WITH HER DOCTOR, JULIA RIDDLE, D.O., WITH GRAND TRAVERSE WOMEN’S CLINIC, AFTER INSEMINATION OF A VERY SMALL SPERM SAMPLE THAT ARRIVED IN A VERY BIG CARDBOARD BOX!

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Getting Pregnant Suddenly, I was on to my new monthly norm. Trying to get pregnant. Since I knew when I was ovulating, I had to have my eggs checked. (Was there at least one good egg? No point in “trying” if my body wasn’t ready that month.)

This meant monthly visits with my best nurse and doctor friends at the clinic. They were amazingly positive, honest and flexible. I tried not to be stressed, although as anyone trying to get pregnant knows, it was extremely stressful.

When the “perfect day” presented itself, I knew it was time for a personal visit to the stirrups. This was totally a positive, no-stress visit. (Think swim! Just keep swimming, just keep swimming!)

My doctor friend even warmed up the “stuff” in her bra with her body heat, played my favorite music and took fun pictures of me with the delivered “daddy box.” (The specimen is the size of a pencil but comes in a package the size of a medium dog.)

After that, the next step seemed…normal. Like anyone else, I waited to learn if it worked. That meant waiting for a missed period, taking a pregnancy test and feeling lots of stress.

To my relief, the test was positive on July 16!

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My family was extremely supportive and ecstatic about my news.

As were my coworkers, fellow deacons, and extended friends. Many tears of joy were shed!

Telling my students (I teach at a high school) was interesting. I was open and honest that I was getting old and ready to have a family so I decided to start one on my own.

The questions followed… No, I didn’t get crazy at the bar one night. No, I wasn’t dating anyone. Yes, my family knows. Yes, I went to the doctor. No, I don’t know the donor. I could see their minds curious, accepting and open.

Overall, I learned that I have a large, supportive network of wonderful people in my life from work, church, running groups, family and lifelong friends. It takes a village after all.

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Things Worked Out Well, not as planned, but they worked out.

It so happens that I started dating someone when I was two months pregnant. A friend of a friend and I started texting back and forth and decided to share three things that would surprise each other about ourselves. I said my first two, but then put off saying my final surprise until our first official date.

As we started a hike to Lake Michigan, watching our dogs play together, I told her I was expecting. I then offered to turn around and end the date. She was quiet but kept walking.

It’s been 4.5 years since that day and we’re still happily together, parenting Addie, the amazing little girl we welcomed into the world.

Mama K and Mama T are rocking this parenting stuff with a happy little kid. What a journey.

There are so many ways to become a mother. I’m glad a text message on my birthday got me moving in the right direction.

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Katherine Brege is a Traverse City native. She is a math teacher at a local high school, enjoys running and everything outdoors. She can be reached at kbtwin11@yahoo.com.

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BY SHANNON KOCHIS

PHOTO BY STEPHEN DILLON

Justice for Billy

One local mom is turning her grief into action to help protect future car accident victims THE KOCHIS FAMILY: (L-R) BROOKS, PORTER, MOTHER SHANNON WITH JOSSLYN IN HER LAP, AND SOPHIA.

IT WAS 5:30 A.M. The laptop bag was hung over my husband’s shoulder when he bent over to kiss me goodbye.

“I love you,” Billy said.

“I love you too,” I replied with a big smile.

Taking over his side of the bed, I placed my head on his pillow. Out the door he went.

A few minutes later he came back in.

“I forgot something.”

As I started to reawaken, I told him, “Jossi pooped all over her room last night.”

“It happens,” he smiled in a light, charismatic way.

Those were the last words I would ever hear from my husband.

Lost in an instant It was Tuesday, Sept. 10, 2013. Looking back, I wish I could have held on to Billy a little longer, maybe just a couple seconds to throw off the timing that put him in the path of an out-of-control vehicle. Maybe that would have given me back my husband.

Maybe our four children would have their father back. Most importantly, maybe Billy would have his life back.

On the day I lost him, I was a 27-year-old mother of four, with a 3-month-old baby

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boy, Brooks; a 2-year-old daughter, Josslyn; 3-year-old son Porter and 5-year-old daughter, Sophia.

Billy was 29. He was on his way to Grand Rapids for work with his colleague, John Pomeroy. Billy was the passenger in the Chevy Malibu. They were on southbound US 131, just past Rockford.

Coming upon an 8-mile-long traffic backup caused by construction, they slowed to a stop. Patrick Doerr, in a white Ford pickup was seen traveling at high speeds, weaving erratically through traffic. Witnesses said they saw his head resting back on the headrest, almost like he was passed out. Suddenly, his truck plowed into the back of the Malibu, instantly killing my husband, Billy, and John.

Patrick hit them at 83 mph without ever applying his brakes. He continued to plow through cars before he finally came to a stop against a wall of vehicles in front of him.

It was 8:05 a.m. The same time I was taking Sophia to the school bus stop.

I missed a phone call from a police officer.

As I dialed him back, I knew something was wrong. I had this charmed life. So perfect, I prayed all the time for my husband, my high school sweetheart. Billy was my everything.

He came before my kids, and my own life. I couldn’t help but be so thankful for this man

that I loved every ounce of. He loved me the same way. I couldn’t wait to hear what would come out of his mouth, even after seven years of marriage.

But somehow I knew I wouldn’t have that charmed life forever.

As soon as the officer answered the phone, I said, “My husband is dead.”

“I can’t tell you that. Where are you?” the officer said.

I hung up the phone and utterly lost it in a parking lot, with my three youngest kids in the van.

The officer tracked me down and confirmed my fears.

I didn’t have a chance to pray for Billy or hope that he was still alive. Or sit by his bed and wait for him to wake up. He was already gone. I couldn’t change it. There was nothing I could do. I had to find a way to break the awful news to the kids.

Showing strength I got my daughter Sophia out of school and as soon as we got home we huddled in a circle in the driveway.

“Look up, sweeties, say hi to daddy….he is in heaven. He is going to be up there now.”

They all said hi and kept waving. They were too young to understand.

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“We won’t be able to see him anymore, but we can talk to him whenever we want,” I said in the happiest voice I could muster up.

Sophia started to cry. I folded her in my arms and told her it was going to be OK. I held everyone tight.

Next, I knew I had to get to Billy. It’s all I could think about. I needed to see him, to be near him. I didn’t care what he looked like, it didn’t matter.

Longing for closeness We made the drive down to the Grand Rapids hospital. As I walked in, family surrounded us and reality set in.

I was told I couldn’t see my husband IN 2013: BILLY AND SHANNON KOCHIS WITH THEIR FOUR CHILDREN (L-R), JOSSLYN, PORTER, SOPHIA AND BROOKS. because he was under a police investigation.

What? How ironic. I had no choice but Creating a joyful farewell If I were to go in there, I would be tampering to allow my husband’s body to be cut open The next morning, I woke my dad at 3 with police evidence. Seriously? This made during his autopsy, but Doerr had a choice a.m. I wanted to be with Billy as much as I no sense to me. Billy was a passenger in the not to help preserve the evidence that would could, knowing I wouldn’t see his face ever vehicle and he was hit from behind. allow authorities and the involved families to again. I only had two days left.

Someone proceeded to tell me they needed understand what might have caused the fatal I also wanted my kids not to be afraid of to do an autopsy to determine the cause of accident? their dad when they saw him in his casket. So death. That I may not get to see him dependWorse, the warrant for a blood draw was I decided we would make it our last family ing on what he looked like. My mind couldn’t denied by a Kent County magistrate. No Christmas. Billy and I always gushed over that comprehend this. I just wanted to be next to probable cause. To this day, we have no idea holiday with our big family.

Billy. To hold him, tell him I loved him, and who the magistrate was. There is no record.

I went shopping and when I got to Billy that everything was going to be fine.

Apparently, it was over a phone call between around 6 a.m., I wrapped gifts and put balI didn’t want the autopsy. But I couldn’t the officer and the magistrate that the search loons all around him. In cards, I wrote what stop it. I didn’t have a choice. It was at the warrant was denied. No names. No record.

I thought Billy would say to our children. It discretion of the authorities.

Patrick Doerr walked out of the hospital the was perfect. The kids ran right up to their The authorities. How ironic that would same day he erased two amazing fathers and daddy, just like my heart wanted for Billy. become. husbands from this earth.

The next morning I was at the funeral Injustice upon grief home planning my husband’s arrangements.

Seeing a need for change A few weeks later—with the heartbreak, All I could think about was getting close to There are two major flaws, in my opinion, tears, laughter and memories of Billy’ s funeral Billy. I asked the funeral coordinator, “When with the Michigan Vehicle Code. First, it behind me—I received a phone call from a will my husband be here?” allows blood tested for medical purposes to “In about two hours,” she said. be entered into evidence, but not urine. There So I waited inside my car, in is no constitutional or scientific basis for this. the parking lot. I ended up waiting “I didn’t have a chance to pray Second, it doesn’t mandate that drivers confor 6 hours. It was dark outside. for him or hope that he was still sent to chemical tests when they have caused Finally, the van carrying Billy’s alive. He was already gone.” a fatal or near-fatal accident like they do in body pulled up. I ran out of the Maine. (Other states are still wrestling with car and put my hand on the van this issue as drugs on the street are becompolice officer. I was told that the results of that had him. Crying, I just said, “I know I ing more complex in how they affect people’s the tests from the driver’s blood had come can’t see him, but I just need to be near him.” behavior.) back, taken just after the accident. Cocaine The lady from the funeral home was shocked The whole thing is simply unbelievable and opiates were found. I took a deep breath to see I was still there. to me. Imagine holding a piece of paper that and immediately thought: Well we have the She inspected the body and came back shows cocaine and opiates were found in the truth now. and said, “He looks great, just a small cut on urine of the man who killed your husband I trusted that justice would be done, whathis face.” She pointed me in his direction and or wife, and then you are told that it cannot ever that meant. said not to open the bag that covered his body. be used in court. Words cannot express how Later I found out that it was not Patrick I was so grateful. I can’t express how much insulting that feels.

Doerr’s blood that was tested. It was the hosI needed to be next to my husband. To touch For killing two men in the prime of pital’s urine test that accidentally got sent to him, to tell him I loved him. That I was sorry their lives, Patrick Doerr was charged with the officer. The officer wasn’t even supposed this happened. That we were going to be OK. a minor civil infraction. He served nine to know about the urine test because it was That I loved him, over and over, and that I months in jail. Yes, I spoke at the sentencdone for medical purposes. The police never was so proud of him. To let him know that ing hearing with the urine results in my drew his blood for evidence because Patrick I was there with him. And I was not leaving hand to tell the judge what really happened. refused to consent to it. him. I felt instant calmness.

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Yes, the judge was mortified that the magistrate denied the search warrant. Yes, the judge agreed that perhaps the law needed to change.

It didn’t matter.

I knew my words then wouldn’t change anything. I just needed to say them. I needed to look the driver in the eye and say it to his face. I never want to be the one who judges a man for his sins. There is a justice system for that. But that system was denied a chance to fully understand the truth. I couldn’t let that be the end of the story.

My new mission One night I sat on my bedroom floor, wedged between the bed and my closet door, talking on the phone with Billy’s cousin, John Collins. Johnny is the former director of forensic science at the Michigan State Police.

He had just lost two parents to horrible diseases and was now grieving Billy.

We started talking about the Michigan Vehicle Code and how Billy’s case exposed a huge loophole. We decided: “Let’s change this law so it doesn’t affect anyone else.”

We wanted to make sure other families who went through this sort of tragedy could use either the urine or blood evidence in court. We also wanted to ensure that scientific

evidence would be available in any fatal traffic accident. Johnny put together our proposal and we met with Senator Wayne Schmidt.

This has become our mission. Senate Bill 80, “Billy’s Law,” does not guarantee that the scientific evidence will be admissible in court.

We still need to honor our precious constitutional rights. But driving is a privilege and we need to secure fragile scientific evidence in the most serious accidents.

We are grateful to have the Senator represent Billy’s Law. It has passed the Senate Judiciary Committee and we are now waiting on the House of Representatives committee to hear our plea.

The biggest hurdle we face is getting support in the Michigan House of Representatives.

We need Michigan residents to write their representatives and tell them how important this bill is. I have a Billy’s Law Facebook page

where I provide emails and districts of all Michigan representatives. Hopefully this will help.

When our lives fall apart—and believe me, they do—we want to make sure we can trust that our justice system will have the evidence it needs to make informed choices.

My hope is that Billy’s Law passes. And that what happened to me will never happen to you.

Shannon Kochis is the widowed mother of four amazing kids. She is the owner of Bella Amici Salon, which she opened in 2011. She is also an outdoor enthusiast and sponsored athlete for m22. She continues to advocate for Billy's Law, which passed the Senate in February. The next hurdle is passing the House. She can be reached at skochis1@yahoo.com.

How to protect future victims Help Shannon get “Billy’s Law” passed by writing your Michigan representatives to tell them how important Senate Bill 80 is to achieve justice for families of accident victims in the future. Visit the “Billy’s Law” page on Facebook at www.facebook.com/billykochislaw to learn more and find email addresses for representatives in districts throughout Michigan. Grand Traverse County residents can write a letter of supprt to: Rep. Larry Inman at LarryInman@house.mi.gov.

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Making an

IMPACT 100 BOARD MEMBERS (L-R): BACK ROW: DIANA FAIRBANKS, MARTY WATTS, IMPACT 100 FOUNDER WENDY STEELE, LESLIE KNOPP, JENNIFER JONES, LAUREN MUELLER, TONYA WILDFONG, MEAGHAN JAMESON, TRACY NYHUIS, ANGELA SCHULER AND LOANN VANDE LEEST. FRONT ROW: CO-PRESIDENT DIANA MILOCK, CO-PRESIDENT ALLISON BEERS, BONNIE ALFONSO, DIANA SHATTUCK. NOT PICTURED: KELLY LAPORTE, KAT PAYE, ASHLEY THOMPSON, LINDA LINDQUIST-BISHOP, CHRISTIE MINERVINI, JILL MAY, PAULA JO KEMLER AND JODY LUNDQUIST.

IMPACT

BY WENDY STEELE

I WAS RAISED in a family that gave back to the community and, from a very young age, I understood my mission and expectation to leave the world a little better than I found it.

Whether I was trick-or-treating for UNICEF, doing odd jobs for neighbors or helping out at church or school, community service was a part of my DNA. That sense of responsibility and community has only grown stronger throughout my life.

Sensing a need

Most of my summers growing up were spent in Northern Michigan. By 2001, when I was living in Cincinnati, I recognized that spending time up north—the break from routine and the reflection it allowed—became an even bigger priority.

I began to question why so many of the women I knew in Cincinnati were not involved in their local community. I knew that the community needed those women and their talents and I also knew that the women were missing out on living a bigger, happier life that comes from living generously.

There seemed to be a disconnect. I realized that, although women’s roles in communities had evolved tremendously over several decades, women’s opportunities in philanthropy had hardly changed at all. It seemed time for a new approach to giving. So I created a new way.

Creating a movement The concept of “Impact 100” was simple and incredibly powerful: Empower women to pool their financial resources and fund

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transformational grants in their local community. Grants could be awarded in one of five focus areas: education, environment, health and wellness, arts and culture, or family.

The design: Gather at least 100 women who each donate $1,000.

Combine those once-a-year donations and offer life-changing grants of at least $100,000 to the community’s nonprofits.

Much to my surprise, that initial launch in Cincinnati received national attention with articles in People magazine and more. Soon, the concept began to spread. By the end of 2016, the Impact 100 organizations independently formed around the globe have given away more than $45 million to worthy nonprofits. And we are growing… which brings me back to the subject of Northern Michigan, where I had finally planted roots.

Creating the magic here Last year, some of my Traverse City friends approached me about starting our own Impact 100 chapter to benefit this fivecounty region. They had heard about the success of this unique giving model in other places and felt our community needed an Impact 100 of our own. I couldn’t agree more.

From our first conversation at a local restaurant, it was clear that this would be something very special for our region. It has been remarkable to see this community embrace Impact 100 and make it their own.

This new local chapter will function like others around the globe. Members will vet the grant applicants and ultimately select the non-profit recipient(s) by a majority vote. The goal over time is to have 500 members so the Impact 100 group could give one

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$100,000 grant in each of the five focus areas each year, to fully encompass, empower and impact the community.

Impact 100 is run entirely by volunteers with no paid staff.

The Impact 100 board of 23 women is a hard-working team of diverse, capable, talented women who care deeply about this region and each other.

In the history of Impact 100, only two chapters have ever launched their first year with more than 200 members. Our board knew that in this generous and giving community, Impact 100 Traverse City could, and would, be the third. We are determined to raise more than $200,000 during our shortened first-year recruiting season of only three months and award two grants of at least $100,000 each by the end of 2017.

Impact 100 Traverse City is off to an amazing start, and this is just the beginning. I feel honored and fulfilled to be doing the type of work I felt called to do from an early age.

Wendy Steele created the model for Impact 100 in 2001 and since then has nurtured the growth of the Impact 100 movement across America and around the globe. Wendy lives in Traverse City, where she serves on a number of boards and leads her consultancy, Generosity Matters. For more information, please visit impacttc.org or www.generosity-matters.com.

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May/June '17 23

Grand Traverse Woman

The New Sober Life OF THE

Brewer’s Wife

BY MORGAN KELSEY

THROUGHOUT my adult life, I found comfort in alcohol, and I drank too much of it. I never wanted to admit that it was a false friend and that it was hurting me. It was what I knew, and like someone stuck in an abusive relationship, no matter how many times I stepped away, I kept going back.

Alcohol was part of my lifestyle. My husband is a Master Brewer and distiller. My skin-care business is even called “The Brewer’s Wife.” But somewhere along the way, my habit tipped out of balance.

One drink never worked for me. Red wine was my cup of choice. I would feel the first tingling of a buzz and want more. Sometimes I would wake with the sad and dark reality that I did not remember things from the night before. How could I live my life in a way that turned things black?

Losing an entire day to a hangover was not fun either. It occurred to me that I was not really living when I felt too miserable to accomplish anything. I wanted my 5-year-old daughter to have the real me. I did not want alcoholism to be normalized for her.

Realizing life is short My dad passed away in May while I was on one of my alcohol “breaks.” I received the news via a knock on my door at 3 o’clock in the morning. Rather than seeking refuge in alcohol, I made myself a kava tea and let my new reality sink in.

Though I was heartbroken about my loss, I felt proud of this act of courage. I was experiencing and working through my emotions without the numbness that I knew alcohol could provide.

My dad and I were very close. We spoke on the phone every day. He gave amazing advice and told great stories. He had such a big heart and always forgave easily.

He also struggled with alcoholism.

Immediately after the funeral, I found myself holding my first beer in two months, and I drank.

I continued to drink for five months, which got me nowhere in the healing process.

24

May/June '17

Deciding to make a change On the morning of Nov. 8, 2016, I awoke. In a big way. The signs were all there: everything was aligned, and I was ready to change. I didn’t want to feel this way anymore. I was done. I shed a few tears and I moved forward. I became sober and vowed I would never drink again.

This time, things were different.

I announced my life-altering decision to the Facebook world, stating: “I’m usually quite private about personal matters, but this one feels like it needs to be said, perhaps to make it more concrete for me, or perhaps to inspire others. I’ve taken breaks from alcohol quite a bit in the past, the first time years ago after my dad was hospitalized with cirrhosis of the liver. I’ve come to learn that I can’t just have one drink, and can’t stand the feeling of the harm I’ve done to my body the next morning. I’m just over a week into my plan to live the rest of my life sober, aware, authentic, and consciously in each moment. To this, I raise my glass of water, and say cheers to self-awareness and to never being hung over again.”

Our culture accepts binge drinking without taking into account the consequences. I watched my dad almost die years earlier from alcoholism.

It wasn’t pretty. I was scared. After that, I couldn’t even stand to be in a bar… for a while at least.

Many people were surprised to learn that I struggled with alcohol. I heard a lot of, “I didn't know you had an issue with that.” The truth is, I must have hidden it well. I did struggle, and it was an issue.

Sure, it wasn’t that bad. There was no DUI, I didn’t drink in the morning, and my body wasn’t yet dependent on alcohol. To my knowledge, my liver is healthy and functioning, though I did discover that we are able to do harm to that important organ a lot faster than we would like to think. All that aside, I do have the genetic makeup that is predisposed to alcoholism. Did I really need to experiment and continue down that road until it really did get that bad?"

“Not that way, turn back. See that light?” said my heart. “That path will get you to where you want to go.”

MORGAN WITH HER DAUGHTER, DYLLAN.

Regaining clarity No longer stuck in a cycle of over-indulgence and regret, I began to see clearly. I could feel with my true core, no longer muddied with the alcohol-soaked emotions that get carried away. I vowed to live fully in each moment. To have an awareness that just did not exist with alcohol.

It was as if my whole world cracked open and my life filled with purpose. I became focused on pursuing my dreams, the things I always thought about doing, but always filed away for “later.”

I committed to my yoga practice and to belly dance, setting aside this “me” time. There’s such a beautiful freedom in feeling and knowing my strength. I love myself, “THIS MUCH,” as my instructor has us say, arms wide, looking into the mirror.

I committed to volunteering and developing intuitive art classes. The urge to pass along knowledge and have a positive effect on someone’s life is overwhelming to me now.

And I committed to growing my spirituality. I am listening with open ears and an open heart to my inner calling.

It is incredible how everything has started to fall into place. The right people, the right opportunities, the right inspiration, it all keeps landing in the middle of the path that I forged for myself.

It is as if the universe is suddenly hearing me more clearly.

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DAUGHTER DYLLAN, MORGAN, AND HUSBAND, MIKE HALL.

Receiving support Freedom from alcohol is liberating. I’ve learned the courage that it takes to be honest and real is so much more empowering than the false courage alcohol temporarily provides. I am five months sober at the time of this writing and my commitment is unwavering. I know my dad is looking down with pride.

Most people are very supportive and positive about my decision and my journey, but I do sense that there are a few who feel threatened by it.

Perhaps they feel they are being judged—they are not. Perhaps they feel I won’t be that same person they knew and had fun with before—I am an improved version, and really, I am a lot more fun than before!

My husband has been 100 percent supportive. This has changed his world too. He doesn’t drink at home anymore. Life in our house is so much calmer and more organized now.

This journey is not only about me. It is also for my daughter. Walking down my new path, I take her little hand in mine, and look to a very bright future for us both. The whole world feels full of promise.

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Grand Traverse Woman

‘What am I supposed to be doing?’

IT WAS an amazing experience growing up

HOW A NEW MOM CREATED A WORK/LIFE BALANCE

BY MEAGAN MCLAIN

26

May/June '17

with parents who owned a local business. For as long as I can remember, I have been helping to make McLain Cycle a success. My parents taught me to work hard and always pushed me to do better. I didn’t realize how deeply that work ethic had been ingrained in me until my life shifted with motherhood.

It all happened 15 months ago. After struggling with infertility, I became a mother.

As we prepared for our son’s arrival, my husband and I decided that it would be best for me to become a stay-at-home mom. So I quit my job as a manager at the bike store. I knew working over 50 hours a week was just not going to fit with a young one around the house.

As I prepared for my new life, I kept thinking I was so lucky to be able to be in this posi-

tion. People reinforced the idea too, saying: “Enjoy it while it lasts.”

But after I spent five months at home with a colicky infant, reality set in. I was ready to get out. In fact, I felt kind of isolated. I found myself making excuses for why I needed to go out.

My husband would come home each night from a crazy day at work and ask me what I had done that day. Still sitting in my PJs, I would answer: “Well I’m not really sure, but it went by fast.”

In all honesty, I seemed a little lost. I never realized how much of my identity was linked to my “leave-the-house” work ethic. Staying home as my job was just not how I had been raised.

Don’t get me wrong. Parenting is not an easy job. In fact, it is definitely the hardest

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Grand Traverse Woman

job I have ever had. Having someone rely on you for everything 24 hours a day is exhausting, but also somehow amazing too. Yet I struggled. There were no goals to be met, nothing to strategize over and no people to interact with.

As a child, I was told to go to school and get a degree. So I did. Then I became a mother, and my elders were telling me to stay at home and be a mom.

And I did. I started asking myself: What am I really supposed to be doing?

I did a lot of thinking about what I needed—to be my best self and mother. Had I missed something?

Why had I worked so hard in school, only to stay at home? Something needed to change: I needed to regain some balance in my life.

I was lucky enough to become friends with a lady who worked at a daycare. She convinced me that is was OK to have my son in daycare a couple of days a week.

Using my design degree, I started working on a couple of kitchen design projects for clients, just to get my toes wet in the working world again. Then I slowly eased my way back into working in the bicycle

shop. And you know what? I felt like a part of me was no longer missing. It was great: for me, for my son, for everything.

Today, I work three or four days a week—sometimes from home and sometimes at the stores. It’s not full time, like before. As a manager and the owners’ daughter, I had always taken on extra roles in the company such as training employees, merchandising and marketing. I knew that when I left there would be some gaps that wouldn’t be covered as well as they should.

Being a former manager, I also knew how stressful doing those extras could be when you are swamped with customers all day. So I devised an idea to create a new position working for my parents. I presented the idea in a way that showed my parents how it would be a good business decision for them (and not just a way to help their daughter out). And voilà: A new, perfectly balanced part of my career was born.

I am now a support person to all the managers and employees. I help our stores continue to become better. This flexible schedule allows me to spend a lot of time with my son, especially when he really needs

me. I continue to run my design business on the side, which I can do after my son goes to bed at night.

We all grow up in different situations. My advice to fellow new moms: be creative. If you were once passionate about something, do not let that overshadow your new life as a mother. Don’t lose yourself because of someone else’s idea of what is right.

Also, don’t be afraid to suggest a new position to your employers that will benefit both you and them.

Or start your own business with the hours that work for you! What do you have to lose?

Yes, it is important to be a mom, but it’s also important to love your life and feel that you are making an impact.

Born and raised in Traverse City, Meagan enjoys all that Northern Michigan has to offer! Growing up at her parents bicycle shop, McLain Cycle, she continues to help out and be a part of making the store better for local cyclists.

In her spare time, Meagan runs a small kitchen design business. She has a degree from Kendall School of Art & Design in furniture design. Meagan and her husband, Allan Koglin, have a 15-month-old son.

www.grandtraversewoman.com

May/June '17 27

Grand Traverse Woman

janes

update

PHOTOS BY SARAH BROWN

IT’S THE HALFWAY POINT AND AFTER 4 WEEKS AT FITMAKEOVER FOR YOU, THE CHANGES, THEY ARE A’COMIN’!

e ose

Katie Kniss, 39

8 LBS

Lost

HALFWAY

The best unexpected thrill: It’s amazing to have a nutrition plan that fuels my body, but still allows me to lose weight without going hungry. I didn’t expect that. It feels great.

HEIGHT: 5’8” THEN: 206 LBS. NOW: 198 LBS.

What you love: I’ve enjoyed making new friends through this experience—people who hold me accountable for sticking to my goals. That accountability makes a big difference. That’s so important.

THE START

Grand Traverse

WOMAN 28

May/June '17

“I sweat so much my leg almost fell off!”

• Married to her high-school sweetheart • Mom to 4 children (ages 16, 14, 11, 8) • Arbonne Independent Consultant, also works part-time at Living Light Massage • Volunteers at church and school The biggest challenge: Making the time to get in all the cardio I need. I have such a busy schedule, but it has helped to plan my cardio time along with everything else on my calendar. Make a date and stick to it.

See Jane Lose

The push: I feel like this is a new lifestyle I can live with. Once I get to the gym, I know my mood will change and improve with all the activity.

The best changes: Even though the scale doesn’t show a huge loss yet, my clothes do.

I’m losing inches. Everything in my closet fits better and I love how good I feel after a workout!

The funniest thing: When I sweat so much my prosthetic leg literally almost falls off!

The light at the end of the tunnel: There’s a lot of hope in recognizing that this is a lifestyle I can live with for the long run.

Even if I’m making slow and steady progress, I feel healthy and am enjoying the journey. I’m looking forward to what the next few weeks will bring!

The Jane

See Events Jane

The Jane Reveal is at our May 10th GTWoman Network Nite at Floor Covering Brokers, 5-7pm.

Enjoy networking, wine, prizes and see the Jane makeovers!

Lose

Register online at: grandtraversewoman.com Tickets: $15 or 2/$20

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Grand Traverse Woman

“The sweet cravings aren’t there anymore!”

Nichole Baldwin, 28 11 LBS

Lost

• Animal lover and “mom” to two dogs and two cats • Veterinary Patient Care Coordinator for Northwood Animal Hospital • Volunteers for Alpha Phi Foundation, the Go Red Campaign for women’s heart health

HALFWAY The biggest challenge: Fitting in all the workouts each day after working long hours at my job. Late nights are very common for me right now, but I have been managing well. I’ve always been a busy bee so the adjustment wasn’t too bad.

The best unexpected thrill: It’s been amazing to witness how I’m getting better at each workout. I’m going longer, having better form and seeing my progress personally each day.

HEIGHT: 5’6” THEN: 242 LBS. NOW: 231 LBS.

THE START

What you love: I love all of the wonderful people I have met through the program and the relationships I am forming. Plus, the Fit For You staff has been great about teaching us along the way by ensuring we know the science behind our workouts and what we are eating and how our bodies utilize the fuel we give it.

The push: I chose to do this program because it was hard and it would push me and my boundaries. I know the more effort I put in, the greater my results will be.

The best changes: My clothes are starting to fit a little differently and the sweet cravings aren’t there anymore!

The funniest thing: Oh my goodness, we laugh ALL the time together at the gym! The first day we all met and worked out together at Fit For You, we introduced our trainer, Jon, to the phrase “Girl Code!” (i.e. We have each other's backs, no matter what.) We have all had a strong bond since then, but Jon’s facial expression at that phrase was priceless!

The light at the end of the tunnel: There is a reassurance in knowing that I am doing this and it is a maintainable way of life. Sure, the diet will change somewhat and workouts will not be as frequent after the program, but I now have the tools and drive for success. That gives me hope for my future health.

The

Sweat Our 3 Janes are taking part in an 8-week program at our sponsor, Fit For You Health Club in Traverse City. The program includes: • 16 fat-blasting body transformation coaching sessions with the Jane team • 8 confidence building group challenges • 4 educational seminars • 8 week Fit For You Membership • Done-for-you-meal plan • Ongoing nutritional counseling • Unlimited email coaching and more!

Ann Barraclough, 48

“My body parts are melting • Married with two daughters.

• Cake maker and designer at Aunt B’s Cakes & Desserts away!”

• Volunteer at the Father Fred Foundation The biggest challenge: Working out six to seven days a week is a lot of time that I didn’t work into my schedule before. Making the workouts a priority and fitting the rest of my schedule around them has been challenging. It has made me prioritize my time better.

The best unexpected thrill: I really do feel different. You know when you start that you are going to feel better, but it takes some time for your body to get past the shock of it.

What you love: I love all the people I have met through this program and the team effort that everyone in the weight loss challenge has made. We leave no person behind. If on some days someone is struggling, we are all there cheering her on. This has been such a wonderful opportunity for me. I am so grateful that I have been able to be a part of the Jane program. I have discovered how strong and determined I am. Going to a gym where each and every person who attends is so friendly and welcoming is a great motivator as well.

The push: The nutrition plan can get a little boring, but I have tried to keep in mind that we will be able to add a little variety later. And it is working. With my Jane efforts, plus the things I was doing on my own before the program, I have lost a combined 21 pounds since January.

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The best changes: There are so many changes I’m noticing. I can of course feel the difference in my clothes—my body parts are melting away. I can feel bones that I haven’t felt in years. I feel so much stronger and am impressed with how far my endurance has come in such a short time. Our bodies are amazing when we push them.

The funniest thing: During our workouts together, everyone has a great sense of humor. This absolutely makes a difference when you are pushing yourself so hard. I am lucky to be going through this with such a wonderful group of people. We only want to see each other succeed—and humor helps.

The light at the end of the tunnel: I keep telling myself that this is my new life. I am feeling stronger and more powerful every day and I don’t want to let that slide.

15 LBS

Lost

HALFWAY

The

Sass GTOC: Skin care for the Janes, plus eyewear Salon Moxie: Hair color & cut, manicure, make-up and blow out Photography by Sarah Brown: Before and after photos

HEIGHT: 5’6” THEN: 194 LBS. NOW: 179 LBS.

THE START

Anne Bonney: Behind-the-scenes coaching and support for each Jane At Your Service Cleaning 1 house cleaning for each Jane Plus Janes get free tickets to all GTWoman Network Nites during the program!

May/June '17 29

Grand Traverse Woman

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THE GYM TRAINER approached me and asked, “Why are you doing this?”

She’d been watching me for months, and finally decided she’d had enough. “I see you here three times every week, doing the same routine, with the same crazy energy. Nothing is changing. Why are you working so hard?”

I laughed at her. “What are you talking about? I’m losing weight…

Well, not as much as I’d like, but I’m doing OK.” Despite my mumbled answer, I knew the trainer was right. I had been convinced that if I just worked out enough the weight would come off.

But I would take two steps forward and three steps back. No matter what I did, the “fat girl” was still deep down inside me and I was running out of energy to fight her.

I would revisit that trainer’s question in my mind many times over the years until I finally discovered the answer.

How it all began I was no stranger to the world of gyms and diets. I’d been in a revolving door with them for my whole life.

It started when I was an overweight kid and continued into high school, when I just had to accept that my sports uniforms would need to be altered to fit. Later, there was the wedding dress that needed extra fabric added to the seams.

As early as my first job, where I worked as an assistant swimming instructor, I discovered if I was helping people, I didn’t have to worry about my own issues. So I stayed busy tending to other people’s needs.

Becoming a mother to twins gave me another way to keep my health on the back burner. I spent all my energy caring for my two little miracles.

I didn’t have enough left over to figure out how to help my body heal.

Months passed in a blur.

Finally, on my children’s first birthday, I walked into a gym and declared that it would be the start of my new, healthy life. If only it could have been that easy.

A long and winding road Over the next 12 years, I yo-yoed. I added a third child and kept trying to lose weight. But I didn’t find any quick fixes.

At first I had luck with a Curves gym for just women. That’s where I learned about healthy eating. I followed their nutrition plan, which forced me to make a commitment, be consistent and try new foods—all skills I had never developed on my own.

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Grand Traverse Woman

After losing around 50 pounds, I needed a change, so I adopted a vegan lifestyle. After six months and 15 more shed pounds, I realized I needed to get more protein. I added some eggs back into my diet. That was my shift from vegan to vegetarian, where I stayed for years.

I kept exercising, but last winter I turned to processed fitness foods to get me through my tough training to run a second half-marathon. On those so-called “healthy” foods I actually gained 20 pounds.

That’s when I joined Weight Watchers and began eating white meat again. I lost another 10 pounds, but I was still lacking motivation and accountability. The cycle just kept repeating, but no matter what I tried, I wasn’t happy.

Through it all, I somehow managed to lose a total of 100 pounds, and still not find the real me.

Changing on the inside

THROUGH IT ALL, I SOMEHOW MANAGED TO LOSE A TOTAL OF 100 POUNDS, AND STILL NOT FIND THE REAL ME.

As I reflected back on all those years, I saw many common themes. I saw a person with the desire to help others at any expense, even her own health.

I saw a person with the need to push her limits. I saw a person motivated by praise from others. And I saw a person who had lost herself. The constant drive to do more, be more, lose more, win more and just have more was exhausting.

So there I was, three months ago, sitting with my swollen feet soaking in ice water after a long run. My body was very angry with me. I was desperately surfing Facebook for inspiration to keep going. I was hoping for something or someone to point me in the right direction.

That’s when a Beachbody coach reached out and invited me to be part of her team. Beachbody has given me the gift of a complete fitness, nutrition and personal development community.

Through Beachbody, I gained support from people just like me.

Through that community I learned about my need for personal development. Even though my body had changed on the outside, I was still the “fat girl” I’d always been in my mind. Working on the inner part was always the missing piece for me.

I started reading personal development books and listening to YouTube videos and podcasts on my way to and from work.

One of my favorite tools is following My Miracle Morning routine. This book outlines a set of six simple daily practices that help me. They are my SAVERS, which stand for Silence, Affirmations, Visualization, Exercise, Reading, Scribing (journaling).

I participate in an online group of people committed to the same practices. We all start our days at least an hour before we “have” to start them, and commit to completing our Miracle Morning routines during that time. I get up at 5:15 a.m.

I am now three months into coaching and am feeling the best I have in a very long time—from the inside out.

Now I finally know the answer to the “why” question that trainer asked me so long ago. “Why am I doing this?” … For me. To get my sparkle back. So I can be the strongest person I can be on the inside and out.

Because when I help myself, I’m better able to help others.

Looking ahead, I plan to maintain my weight loss. I don’t focus on the numbers on the scale and I don’t want others to either. And of course, I’ll be working on my inside—it is probably the most important part for me now!

Kim Burch is the communications coordinator for Central United Methodist Church, volunteer program coordinator at The Rock of Kingsley, and an independent team Beachbody coach. She is the mother of three and loves spending time working to help other people, as well as continue her self development. You can find her on Facebook at facebook.com/kimmaley.burch.

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For Them:

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Grand Traverse Woman

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It’s the Jane Reveal! SeeJane Lose Meet our 3 GTWoman Janes and see their makeovers! Enjoy a night of networking and laughter with 100+ area women!

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For more information or to make an appointment, call 231-935-8000 or visit munsonhealthcare.org/familypracticecenter.

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Grand Traverse Woman

ALONG FOR THE RIDE Secrets from a wacky, nontraditional, shoot-from-the-gut mom

BY DONNA HOGARD

EXACTLY how did I get here?

Most moms think that singular thought on numerous occasions.

There I was... in Africa.

Not only was I in Africa, but I was deep in the bush of Africa (like “three hours from a paved road and running water” deep in the bush of Africa).

Many people speak romantically of traveling this far from home. Not me. Never did I dreamily ramble musings of venturing to Africa. Nope. Not this girl. But there I was in Mali.

And the picture only begins there.

I’m not only in Africa. I’m on a giant blue bus. It is ancient and has windows the size of a sliding door that open exactly in the same manner with no screen and no safety stop. But this bus isn’t the real “ride” I’m on... THAT ride is motherhood.

You see, as I am surfing the African dirt road bumps on that big blue bus, my right hand is tightly wrapped around a monopod (think: selfie stick) with an expensive, borrowed movie camera on the other end that is dangling out the dangerously open window. And my left hand has a death-grip on my 10-year-old son who

DONNA AND HER SON, LUKE, AT A FILM FESTIVAL THIS YEAR.

happens also to be hanging out of the bus window operating that camera.

My son, Luke, is hanging out the window so he can capture film footage of a moped carrying two Mali passengers as they “shoot-the-gap” when our bus meets a car head on. Did I mention the dirt road is one lane? My son is dangling out the window? Bus is moving? And we’re in Africa?

That crazy experience was moving along for me as in slooooow motion. I was seeing all the details happen and then suddenly it felt like everything stopped and I had the utmost clarity to think: “Exactly how did I get here?”

Motherhood. Motherhood is how I got there.

Not Purell-hand-sanitizer-eat-your-veggies-mykid-plays-soccer motherhood. I’m talking ubernontraditional-by-accident motherhood.

I just never mothered in a “normal” way, like other women. I didn’t fit in.

I never babysat growing up. (OK, I did once.

Pee-on-wallpaper. Bloody-chin. Enough said.) So once I had my son… the ride began. Like that bus ride, there was nothing controlled or predictable about it. Some might call it an epic mothering fail.

I don’t see it that way.

My motherhood success is totally due to two things: holding on and letting go.

Case in point: Only one month before that bus-moment in Africa, my passionate 10-year-old

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In Touch

I really enjoyed the whole experience of the luncheon, and am so happy I will be attending the future luncheons too! You ladies put on a fantastic event and I am so inspired by what you have done for Traverse City!

Andrea Marx LuLaRoe

Grand Traverse County Health Department www.gtchd.org/581 231-995-6113 36

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I had a great time at the Grand Traverse Woman Luncheon.

The crowd was fun, fresh and very welcoming. I’m hooked and will be sure to spread the word.

Meghan Hawley District Sales Manager WWTV | WFQX

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Grand Traverse Woman

filmmaker son—who is a student at Interlochen— had been invited to film a documentary in Africa. I “let go” of any preconceived notions that he was not capable of the experience and “held onto” his passion to GO to Africa.

I let go of the “Africa for me, no thank you” mindset and held onto the fact that my child had an amazing opportunity. I let go of everything that made me nervous and embraced the marvel of it all: my son being flocked by villagers, his fluid cultural acclimation, his depth of gratitude for food, clean water and precious rain; and the seeds of lessons about humanity, generosity and philanthropy that were planted by that trip in his heart.

In my wacky, nontraditional, shoot-from-the-gut motherhood style I unwittingly stumbled onto this secret to success. The more I let go of any planned path or motherhood standard for my son and held onto his passion, his dreams, his ideas for his path... the ride became way more amazing than I could imagine... for both of us.

If it were not for my son’s pursuit of a path he envisioned, I would never have traveled to Africa, never held a baby goat by a 3 a.m. village bonfire, never stood in the rain to get gratefully soaked to the bone, never met the First Lady of Mali, never learned gratitude for daily food... and never truly “seen” this cool person I was given to call my son.

Letting go of my motherhood path and help-

ing Luke follow his dreams—with the Africa trip and a million other smaller things—have enriched my life beyond measure. I didn’t lose myself, I found a new dimension of me along that bumpy ride.

My parenting hasn’t been perfect. I’ve often failed to let go or hold-on to the right things at the right moments. But I’m learning. I think motherhood should be renamed “discovery.”

I should mention, Luke did snag that awesome footage in Africa and his documentary went on to win numerous film festival awards and raise thousands of dollars to help villages obtain clean water. The decision to go on that trip sure doesn’t seem like an epic parenting fail in that light.

“Exactly how did I get here?” has now become a phrase uttered, not in exasperation, rather in wonder. What a ride.

Donna Hogard is still enjoying the ride, raising baby ducks, making breakaway glass, standing behind live cannon fire and taking on whatever her motherhood journey might bring. Her son, Luke, is a junior at Interlochen Arts Academy studying film. So far he’s made nine features— including his latest documentary on local Vietnam Veterans—and earned 35 film awards. Donna can be reached at donnahogard@gmail.com.

DONNA’S SON, LUKE, MAKING HIS FILM IN AFRICA.

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Tuesday, June 13 | 6 - 8 pm Traverse City: Munson Medical Center, Conference Room 1-3, Lower Level Also available at the following locations via video conference: • Cadillac: Munson Healthcare Cadillac Hospital • Charlevoix: Munson Healthcare Charlevoix Hospital • Gaylord: Otsego Memorial Hospital • Grayling: Munson Healthcare Grayling Hospital • Manistee: Munson Healthcare Manistee Hospital

Tuesday, May 9 | 6 - 8 pm Traverse City: Munson Medical Center, Conference Room 1-3, Lower Level Also available at the following locations via video conference: • Charlevoix: Munson Healthcare Charlevoix Hospital • Gaylord: Otsego Memorial Hospital • Grayling: Munson Healthcare Grayling Hospital • Manistee: Munson Healthcare Manistee Hospital

To learn more or to register for an upcoming seminar, call 800-533-5520, or visit munsonhealthcare.org/bariatrics.

Photo: Veronica Ramos with her daughter Candy Winn

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Grand Traverse Woman

DOES YOUR FUR-‘BABY GOT BACK’ ?

Obesity is a serious health problem in pets. In fact, 55% of all US dogs and cats are overweight or obese!

We all love our pets! Most of us are guilty of showing our love by giving extra treats and table scraps.

Due to the much smaller size of pets (compared to people), even small amounts of “people food” contribute to obesity. Overweight pets are at an increased risk of joint and ligament damage, diabetes, high blood pressure, respiratory disease, and overall discomfort.

Shedding those extra pounds can add between 2-5 years to your pet’s life!

Tips for Achieving a Healthy Weight for Your Pet:

Encourage exercise by regularly walking or running your dog and playing with your cat Talk with your veterinarian to make sure you are feeding an appropriate diet Follow your veterinarian’s recommendations for feeding and monitoring your pet’s weight and body condition Treats should never make up more than 10% of the daily calories fed to your pet

*TREAT TRANSLATOR INFO PROVIDED BY HILL'S

Dog Treat Translator

Cat Treat Translator

(as fed to a 20 lb dog)

(as fed to a 10 lb cat)

Snacks & Scraps

Just one little cookie...

1 oz piece of cheddar cheese...

One hot dog...

(if used as training treats, cut into tiny pieces)

Human Caloric Equivalent (average size woman)

= = =

Snacks & Scraps

Just one potato chip...

1 oz piece of cheddar cheese...

One cup whole milk... (causes weight gain and upset tummy!)

Human Caloric Equivalent (average size woman)

= = =

Jennifer Klabunde, DVM, CVCP Hannah Vanos, DVM, MPH

231.276.6361 7966 US HWY 31, Traverse City, MI 49637 northwoodpet.com

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Grand Traverse Woman

AS A CHILD growing up on a 40-acre cherry farm on Old Mission Peninsula, I remember asking my brother what I could plant in a little patch of unused land. He responded: “Grow what you love to grow.”

For me back then, the answer was “flowers.” It’s always been flowers. But for some reason it would take a long time and some nerve for me to get back to that passion.

When it was time for college, I went off to Michigan State University to study

BY VIRGINIA COULTER Landscape Architecture. But I was disenchanted that it really wasn’t about plants. It seemed more focused on building placement, fountains and walking paths, and not so much about growing anything.

I bounced through a bunch of different majors and my career landed me sitting at a desk, not digging in the dirt. I met my husband, Lew. We raised four children and worked hard.

Thirty-plus years passed in a blink. My husband retired from his day job to be a better cherry farmer, a better skier, a better cyclist and to be my rock as I persevered 40 hours a week chained to office work in my government job.

The plan was that I would continue to build our retirement funds as well as provide us both with health insurance. I had a private office, plants on a windowsill, big windows and a little view of the bay, but I felt chained nonetheless.

I had in the past felt pretty fulfilled by my job. But times changed; the recession took a toll at every level of government and the focus had shifted, from being about providing services to being primarily about money. In short, I was burned out.

I took a couple Small Business Development Center classes at NMC. Walt Muellenhagen, a counselor there, got me thinking about what made me happy.

I thought about how, as a child, I enjoyed gathering wild flowers—weeds really—for my grandmother’s frequent dinner parties. And how now as an adult I always brought vases of fresh flowers for my office bathrooms. Coworkers complimented those flowers every day. People from the first floor were even coming up to the third floor to use the restroom just to see my flowers.

It made a difference in their day.

“Flowers,” once again, were the answer.

In retrospect, it seems obvious—I had a passion for flowers, a bachelor’s degree in horticulture for heaven’s sake, available land on Old Mission Peninsula between two traffic generating wineries, a view of the bay, farm equipment, a water well and enough money to buy some irrigation and plants. Still, sometimes you need people to give you the confidence and the nerve to take the leap.

One fall day in 2013, my “rock” of a husband tilled up a fallow field near his vegetable garden so I could plant flowers. He knew I was languishing in my job and wanted to cheer me up. It sure

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did. Next, my grandson made a sign that said “Future Site of Nana’s Flowers.”

That fall, though I was still working (grumpily), I planted a few beds just by splitting up perennials that I had and scrounging others at year-end sales. My dream was to bring the magic of a unique self-serve pick-your-own bouquet business, like the ones common in Europe, to Northern Michigan.

The following year I more than doubled the number of beds and started buying collections of peonies, roses, dahlias, lilies and more perennials.

My husband was supportive, but started bringing up the budget. My perspective was that it’s a little like a cherry farm, you have to pour resources into it for several years before seeing a return on the investment.

Finally in 2015, I retired and opened up for business. I was making good connections with customers and felt good about what the earnings were going to be.

Then the Super Storm of Aug. 2 hit. My sturdy farm market tent was mangled and tossed across the driveway from the hail and powerful winds. My lilies were slashed to ribbons. I was really devastated. Things had been going so well, and suddenly I felt it was over. But my husband encouraged me to continue. And to my surprise, some of my late-summer flowers started to bloom again.

I don’t feel chained anymore. Life is better than ever because of this job tending a bountiful field of densely planted flowers. I look back

on those wildflower bouquets of knapweed and daisies that I used to pick for my grandmother.

She loved them and I loved her. Now the love for flowers continues.

Virginia Coulter graduated in Horticulture Science from Michigan State University where she had student employment managing greenhouses and working in the renowned W. J. Beal Botanical Garden.

She has lived on Old Mission fruit farms for 60+ years and now runs Old Mission Flowers, which is primarily a self–serve pick your own bouquet business. Please visit www.oldmissionflowers.com for more information or visit—take Center Road to Ladd Road.

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FACING

AUTISM HEAD-ON (and succeeding!)

#BeMomReal

PHOTO BY PETERSEN PRODUCTIONS

BY LESLIE HASKIN

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DO YOU REMEMBER the story about the mom who carried three screaming children from the grocery store? Oh, you didn’t see that on Facebook? Still, it happened. That mom went home crying, and wondering what she was doing wrong.

That mom was me. That particular store tantrum was ignited by my middle child dropping a piece of candy. Although I had plenty of other pieces of the exact same candy, it was the one on the ground that he needed.

This is a common scenario. Children with autism are so focused on “their plan” that when something disrupts it, they often do not have the coping skills to modify that plan. He started to cry and before long we were all in tears.

Looking back, I always knew Carson was different. Maybe it was the research I had done on autism during high school; maybe it was my mom-instinct, but I like to think it was God planning two perfectfor-each-other human beings.

I noticed that Carson’s muscle strength at a young age wasn’t as good as his older brother’s—he couldn’t hold his head up straight, and, although he fit into the milestone markers of crawling and walking, it was just by a thread.

As my son grew to be a preschooler, I would notice him not transitioning from one activity to another well. I saw his peers excel at language, and he barely spoke. He often hid under his desk when things were difficult. I used to think he was just being rude, or silly, but in retrospect this was Carson trying to calm himself from being over-stimulated.

When other parents were excited about kindergarten roundup, I dreaded going. After we arrived, Carson found a four-inch space between two filing cabinets and lodged himself there for 30 minutes.

I didn’t have a fear about my child having autism, but I did fear what other people thought. Don’t worry—I’m way over that now. (See sidebar.) But in the beginning, it seemed that every time I brought up Carson’s struggles to family, they told me, “He’s fine, it’s the terrible two’s.” Or, “He has a mind of his own.” There just wasn’t a lot of support wherever I turned.

In the end, I had to forget about what others might think and be my son’s best advocate.

I would like to say that we went to one evaluation for Carson and it answered all of our questions, but the harsh reality is that this process took years. We started therapy at age 3, and Carson was officially diagnosed at age 8. Neurological conditions can be hard to pin down. Some days Carson would wake up and be functioning almost age appropriately; other days he couldn’t get one word out.

We started our first two-day evaluation at the local intermediate school district. Carson decided that the first day he would be very cooperative, but the second day he threw a chair across the room. Thus we had two very different reports. We were granted occupational and speech therapies, but only once per week for 45 minutes. This was not enough, I knew. But I felt stuck.

Summer came and someone recommended a local private center called Children’s Therapy Corner.

After another battery of evaluations we learned more, but we still didn’t have a diagnosis.

What we did have were treatment plans. Private therapy was absolutely required for his success, but the rigmarole of trying to figure out how to afford it was a job in and of itself. I took Carson to therapy three days/week, two hours/day for three years—the recommendation was five days/week but we couldn’t afford it. Insurance did not cover these therapies at the time, but we found help through a foundation that provided grant money for our situation.

My son and I spent hours a day implementing techniques specialists taught us. We listened to therapeutic music and did deep tissue massage. My favorite therapy was using the Wilbarger brushing methods, rubbing his body in a special pattern with a medical scrub brush, followed with joint compressions to trigger a neurochemical that can help create a sense of focus and calm. I felt absolutely ridiculous doing it, but it worked!

I am so far from perfect. My house is usually a complete wreck. My laundry is never caught up, and I have a toy graveyard in my basement. My kids fight all the time, eat box mac’n’cheese, and only one vegetable a month.

Does this sound like you? I bet you don’t post those moments on social media. If we set up standards in which we can’t be real with ourselves, how on earth can we be real to our children?

My son Carson was lucky. He had me, and I didn’t take personal offense to his struggles. I was willing to get real with him. We tackled his autism

as soon as we could, but it still took years to get the answers we needed.

Every child has a challenge, even neuro-typical kids—remember, I have two of them! My message is to #BeMomReal. Don’t feel you have to put on a false/perfect persona on social media. Face your fears. Accept that none of us is perfect.

If your mom-gut is telling you that your child has a learning/behavioral issue to address, then tackle it!

We all make parenting mistakes, but don’t let your biggest mistake be ignoring the help your

child needs because you don’t want to admit the truth and appear less than perfect. It’s not about you!

If you don’t know where to begin with your child’s issues, reach out to me. I’ll help direct you to the resources that surround you to ensure a child with special needs isn’t struggling.

Let’s start a new trend on social media. Let’s support each other by being true about our lives, and, better yet, embrace our imperfection! I promise to share my #BeMomReal moments with you.

Won’t you join me?

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Grand Traverse Woman

During those years, my family’s life was completely centered around Carson’s therapy schedule. It was hard. I didn’t know if I was doing enough, and I was utterly exhausted, always. Those were also the best years of my life because it unlocked this incredibly amazing human being. With each day, and each therapy, we both grew stronger.

The therapies made a huge difference, but autism never goes away. I recall one night when Carson had a real meltdown over dinner. He felt bad that he didn’t like a meal I had made for him.

He ran to his room, barricaded his door and tried hanging himself on his bungee chair.

He was safe—I was steps behind him. His intent wasn’t actually to die, but he wanted to inflict pain on himself because he was “Stupid.

Worthless.”

My heart sank. He asked, “Mom, what’s wrong with me?”

That night I told Carson he had autism.

A new path Until that point it was recommended not to tell him his diagnosis. It was thought that since he was so intelligent he would use it against

us—like, “I have autism, I don’t need to do that.” As it turns out, once I told Carson he had autism, his world opened up with possibilities instead of failures. He already knew of famous inventors who were most likely autistic, and he was thrilled that he fit into that category of brilliance. And the boy is truly brilliant.

Carson is no longer the boy who screamed if you opened the fruit snacks from the wrong side of the pouch. He understands the world with a unique perspective.

The other day he brought home a pamphlet for the peer-to-peer autism group at school that helps autistic kids integrate with others.

I thought he wanted to join, but he said he wanted to help autistic kids fit in. Mr. Popular told me: “Nobody should ever feel like I did.”

I can’t imagine where my middle child would be today if I had ignored that he was different and only looked at the perfection of the lives on display around me on Facebook.

My son has come a long way. He is an “A” student who gives the best hugs, understands emotions of others better than most of my adult friends, and is true to himself. That is something we could all learn from.

LESLIE HASKIN, WITH HER KIDS, KYRA, EVAN AND CARSON .

Leslie Haskin is a proud coffee addict with a messy car, dirty laundry and an unshakeable passion for life and her three amazing children (who aren’t perfect). She is also the events director for SwingShift and the Stars. You can email her at LeslieSHaskin@gmail.com with any questions, thoughts, or gripes.

info@bluelakesbythebay.com

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Grand Traverse Woman

Grand Traverse Woman 2017

LUNCHEONS SAYING ‘TATA’ TO THE TATAS! Speaker KELLI (KABERLE) CRAVEY BETH PRICE PHOTOGRAPHY

THURSDAY, MAY 25, 2017 • 11AM-1PM Meet Kelli (Kaberle) Cravey—a carrier for the BRCA 1 genetic mutation for breast cancer and ovarian cancer. She’ll share her emotional story of losing her mother to breast cancer as a child, and how that inspired her to make the brave decision to undergo a prophylactic double mastectomy.

NETWORKING VENDOR BOOTHS PLATED LUNCH Located at Hagerty Conference Center Lunch tickets: $35 or 2 for $60 Vendor booths: $185 (includes 2 lunch tix)

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It’s the courageous story of what it takes to be in the driver’s seat of your own health, and how to become a “previvor” (rather than risk the odds of becoming a cancer “survivor”).

This important talk and Q&A could save the life of someone in the room.

Kelli (Kaberle) Cravey is a former National Cherry Queen and superstar with the American Cancer Society. She now works at the Munson Healthcare Foundation, where she is passionate about educating women to take control of their health and life.

Kelli graduated with a communications degree from Michigan State University. She started a career in television on the set of Jay Leno’s, “Tonight Show” and finished five years later with MTV’s “Punk’d.” Kelli then began working in 2005 at the American Cancer Society in memory of her mom, Debbie Kaberle, where she raised literally millions of dollars and countless awareness for breast cancer. Last summer, she relocated her family—husband and two kids—back to the Cherry Capital, where she now uses her fundraising powers at Munson Healthcare Foundation in Philanthropy.

She enjoys living in the heart of Traverse City and music, laughing, SHOES, boating and anything cherry. This luncheon will be both powerful and joyful. We hope you’ll join us Thursday, May 25, for lunch with Kelli!

Grand Traverse

WOMAN

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Grand Traverse Woman

GOOD is happening! Get involved!

11th Annual GTWoman

CHICAGO

Help us Strengthen our Community by Ending Homelessness

SATURDAY, JUNE 24, 2017 Willow Hill Elementary School

Road Trip

November 10-12, 2017 (Fri-Sun) HOTEL: 2 nights lodging at the Courtyard Chicago Downtown Magnificent Mile.

MUSICAL: ESCAPE TO MARGARITAVILLE, featuring both original songs and your most-loved Jimmy Buffett classics.

STARTING A WAIT LIST FOR BUS 4 Visit www.grandtraversewoman.com to put your group on the list!

HAPPEN S HERE

[BENEFITING THE GOODWILL INN] REGISTER ONLINE goodwillnmi.org/runforshelter

Sister Sponsors: Brought to you by:

Grand Traverse WOMAN

Your Community Pharmacies with Munson Healthcare Expertise

KIDS CREEK CHILDREN’S CLINIC

Munson Healthcare has you covered with great pharmacy services. We have locations in Traverse City, Suttons Bay and Empire. All of our pharmacies provide the convenience you want with the expertise you know and trust.

Bay Shore Pharmacy 93 West Fourth St., Suite A Suttons Bay 231-271-6111

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Sixth Street Drugs 1020 Sixth St. Traverse City 231-946-4570

Providing expert Pediatric care since 1961 Caring for our community one child at a time

WELCOMING TUAN BUI, MD Tuan Bui, MD will be joining our practice June 1st.

Dr. Bui has a Bachelors and Masters of Science in engineering from the University of Michigan and a Doctor of Medicine from Ohio State University. He did his residency at Children’s Hospital of Michigan.

For the last three years Dr. Bui has been practicing with IHA Pediatric Health Care Associates in Canton MI. He and his wife, Carrie, have 2 young daughters. They are looking forward to relocating to the Traverse City area where Carrie grew up.

Call today to schedule your appointment with the Kids Creek Children’s Clinic provider of your choice.

New patients are always welcome.

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Cynthia Smith MD

Alicia Classens CPNP

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Grand Traverse Woman

How I Helped

SAVE ARCADIA

BY HEATHER SHUMAKER

“IT’S PRONOUNCED TRAAA-verse,” a friend told me. I nodded, and tried to forget my college French. If I was going to live in a place called Traverse City, I needed to pronounce it right.

It was 1998 and I’d just landed a job with the Grand Traverse Regional Land Conservancy, a nonprofit land trust doing what some people called “reverse real estate”—saving land for habitat protection.

My dream job. Now, I just had to learn the landscape.

The first thing I noticed on the drive from Madison, Wis., to Traverse City was sand. Sand, sand, sand everywhere. Sand wedged in through my socks and settled between my toes. Sand rolled around on the car floor mats. Sandy grit even lodged in my teeth as I ate my picnic lunch along the “Gold Coast.” Little did I know I’d soon need grit of a different kind to save the landscape I would come to love.

I first spied the massive Arcadia Dunes landscape on a map. Of course, it wasn’t called Arcadia Dunes back then. The name on the county plat map said: CMS Energy.

CMS, the parent company of the public utility Consumers Energy, owned a whopping

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6,000 acres right on Lake Michigan’s coast near Arcadia, Mich.

With that map I stumbled on the landscape that would shape my life for the next 20 years. First as a land trust staff member working to save it. Then as a writer working to capture its remarkable story.

Knocking on doors As a staffer, I got to work. I learned that CMS had systematically bought up family farms and forest forty years ago, but after assembling 6,000 acres had never developed it for energy production. The land lay waiting.

If you’ve ever stood at the edge of a mighty sand dune and looked over at the infinite blue of Lake Michigan, you know the awe it inspires. We had to find a way to reunite farm families with their lost orchard land and preserve thousands of acres of coastal habitat. If only CMS Energy would listen.

The actual preservation of Arcadia Dunes was hair-raising at times. It involved grit, persistence and help from thousands of Michiganders, including local neighbors and then-Governor Jennifer Granholm.

CMS Energy eventually listened and agreed to sell the land to the Conservancy in 2003.

The Conservancy now owns a few thousand acres (3,600) as a nature preserve and transferred the rest back to local farmers with conservation easement restrictions in place.

Saving Arcadia meant building community. It led me to farmhouse doors to meet the farmers who first sold their orchards to Consumers. I dug back through layers of time and memories to meet people like Elaine Putney, a 19-year-old farm wife in 1969, who tried to say “no” to Consumers.

Through Elaine’s stories I learned what it must have felt like when a powerful corporation came knocking. I could “see” young Elaine as she bent over her Maytag wringer washer, and then opened the door to a stranger… a stranger who turned out to be a secret Consumers Energy representative.

As a public utility, Consumers had the ability to use eminent domain to force owners to sell—in other words, the government or its agents had the right to expropriate private property for public use. Eminent domain was never officially used at Arcadia Dunes, but the fear of it was enough to convince landowners to sell.

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Grand Traverse Woman

Saving land at Arcadia Dunes brought people together. Farmers and governors. Bakers and innkeepers. Summer visitors and people who had never seen the dunes, but helped anyway. It was joyous and challenging, from the first day I spied the map to the day I witnessed the title transfer into Conservancy ownership.

Recording the story Those experiences stuck with me and when I became a writer, I knew what I had to do. Any park, state forest or nature preserve has a story behind it. Stories of people who loved the land and worked to preserve it. Often these stories are lost.

I determined that the story of saving Arcadia—a story that ultimately involved 5,000 people—would not be lost. By sharing the story (and all its hairbreadth turns and suspense) I could help more people fall in love with it.

And I did just that. My new book, Saving Arcadia, tells the 40-year history of Arcadia Dunes, from the farmers who met Consumers in 1969 up to the legion of dedicated volunteers who care for the Dunes today.

Saving Arcadia is my third book, but the first one that reaches back to my passion for the environment. Nature writing is hard to get right and avoid sounding sappy. I prefer to think of Saving Arcadia as a land conservation adventure story. I wrote it to read like a novel: full of characters and suspense. That’s what it was like for me as I lived through it. It’s a much-needed good news story about the environment, full of hope. A true David and Goliath adventure story, set right here in Northern Michigan.

Hoping for the future Saving Arcadia tells a very local story—about real lives and real people in Benzie, Grand Traverse and Manistee counties—but the book itself has attracted national attention from figures such as Senator Carl Levin and environmental guru Bill McKibben. It’s a uniquely Great Lakes story, and also a universal story. My hope is it will inspire readers to save their own special places. Those dunes that I first spotted on a map have since surpassed all the dreams I ever had. The dunes are home to 15 miles of sustainably designed hiking and mountain biking trails, as well as rare plants and animals. There, habitat restoration projects are thriving. It’s a story I never could have imagined when I accepted that job years ago.

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Heather will host a book launch event Thursday, July 20 at 4:30 p.m. at Camp Arcadia.

The event is free and open to the public. Check her website, HeatherShumaker.com for more local events.

Heather Shumaker is the author of Saving Arcadia (April 1, 2017), published by Wayne State University Press, as well as two parenting books: It’s OK Not to Share and It’s OK to Go Up the Slide (Penguin Random House). She was coastal program director for protecting Arcadia Dunes. She lives in Traverse City and can be reached at heather@heathershumaker.com.

www.grandtraversewoman.com

May/June '17 45

Grand Traverse Woman

Grand Traverse Woman 2017

LUNCHEONS Our April 12th GTWoman in Business Luncheon with speaker Linda Lindquist-Bishop with Courageous Thinking, Inc. was a huge crowd: 160 women and 30 vendors— we were sold out and then some. Even with all of Linda’s huge accomplishments in business and sailing (awe-inspiring!), pictures of her puppy, Sky, stole the show (see photo!).

Our next luncheon is May 25th with Kelli Cravey, who will speak on her decision to have a double mastectomy as a “previvor”— reducing her chances of breast cancer from 85 percent to 3 percent. A powerful story told by a joyful woman.

Grand Traverse WOMAN

Network Night

GTWoman’s March 11th Network Nite at Habitat for Humanity Restore was a new venue—and the energy was high. If the gals weren’t checking out items to purchase, they were planning a return with a bigger vehicle in the morning! Thank you to Dan Brady and Denine Dingeman for a live ReVibe show.

Plus, Precision Plumbing and Heating presented a $1,000 Precision Cares check to Goodwill Inn. Amazing.

Our next Network Nite is May 10th at Floor Covering Brokers Carpet One, where we’ll have our big Jane Reveal—see how our 3 GTWoman readers have done over the last 8 weeks at Fit For You and see their makeovers from all of our sponsors including GTOC, Salon Moxie and more.

The Global. Art. Fashion.

Hair. Show was held April 8th at Grand Traverse Resort and GTWoman got the opportunity to emcee with Heather Leigh from Lite96FM. The show was spectacular and crazy. Half the stuff we wanted to buy, half we couldn’t believe! LOL! A great event benefiting Michael’s Place this year.

46

May/June '17

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Grand Traverse Woman

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May/June '17 47

Grand Traverse Woman

Grand Traverse

WOMAN IN BUSINESS NEW Grand Traverse Woman WOMAN Magazine has launched an upgraded version of their issue online.

Motherhood Readers can access articles online as well as click through to advertisers’ websites.

“Advertisers now have the perk of local women clicking directly to their websites as well as in-hand exposure in our print magazine,” said Kerry Winkler, co-owner and publisher. “We are excited to bring this new option to our advertisers and readers!”

You can also download the app for issuu to read GTWoman on any smart phone. www.grandtraversewoman.com

Laura Oblinger has joined Rehmann as director of client services for the firm’s west region. In this role, she oversees business development and shares Rehmann’s service offerings with clients and prospects. She is based in the firm’s Traverse City location.

Previously, Oblinger worked as the executive director for the Traverse City Area Chamber of Commerce. She earned an associate’s degree from Northwestern Michigan College and a Bachelor’s Degree in Marketing and Communications from Davenport University. She also holds an MBA in strategic management from Davenport.

Arts For All Northern Michigan, an arts and culture nonprofit serving the Grand Traverse region for 20 years, has chosen Grace Green as its new executive director. Her appointment fills the vacancy created by long-time director Dayna Ryan’s, who joined Michigan Rehabilitation Services.

Green previously worked as an educator, focusing her efforts on developing adaptive learning opportunities for students with disabilities. Arts For All Northern Michigan is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization that empowers people with disabilities with interactive experiences, artistic and cultural.

231.947.1278, www.artsforallnmi.org

Casey Kiley is the new program coordinator of Safe Families for Children, a non-profit organization that helps preserve families by providing temporary placements for children while parents hurdle through crisis. She is also a volunteer mentor for teens in the local Doula program, as well as serving on staff at Mental Wellness Counseling as a young adult coach and intake coordinator.

She recently launched Guided Management, LLC, to provide online, administrative assistance to growing businesses locally and nationally. 231.499.5546, www.mentalwellnesscounseling.com and www.guidedmanagement.com

Grand Traverse

northern michigan’s network for women ◆ MAY/JUNE '17

The

Issue

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Floor Covering Brokers Carpet One welcomes Charlie Weighman to their sales team. Weighman earned a Bachelor of Fine Arts with a major in Interior Design from Finlandia University and has experience with product design, graphic design and home fashion.

She is available for design and consultation on all types of flooring and window treatments. With a passion for the outdoors, she strives to create spaces that enhance her clients’ everyday lives and reconnect them with nature. Barlow at South Airport Road, Traverse City, www.floorcoveringbrokers.com, 231.941.4700 Great Lakes Plastic Surgery Center welcomes Emily Hedley to their staff.

Hedley is a Certified Physician Assistant who calls Traverse City her home. She grew up in the Lansing area and earned a Bachelor of Science Degree in Nutritional Science from Michigan State University. She has a Master of Science in Medicine Degree from Western Michigan University. She achieved Diplomate status through the Society of Dermatology Physician Assistants Distance Learning Initiative. 231.935.0180 Free Rein Therapeutics, a sports and medical massage office located in Traverse City, has launched a new website showcasing their services for both human and equine clients. Jessi Wallington, B.S., LMT., opened Free Rein Therapeutics in 2015.

Specializing in the treatment and prevention

of sports-related injuries, and several medical ailments including sciatica, plantar fasciitis, fibromyalgia and TMJ, Free Rein Therapeutics also offers massage services for equine clients. 3301 Veterans Dr., Suite 207, Traverse City, 419.349.5104, www.freereinmassage.com South of Heaven Beverage Co., owned by Keith Gram, owner, and Erin Guesno, director of communications, has invented a vegan and gluten-free Bloody Mary mix using allnatural and organic ingredients. Their goal is to offer their Bloody Mary Bars at fellow Michigan businesses through sponsorship opportunities as they transition into the production/retail phase of their business. www.facebook.com/ SouthofHeavenBeverageCo, 810.334.5796

KUDOS Lisa Maxbauer Price, GTWoman’s assistant editor, was recently honored by the news that her children’s book has been named a finalist in the Great Lakes, Great Books Award competition. The news was recently announced at the Michigan Reading Conference. Lisa's book, Squash Boom Beet: An Alphabet for Healthy, Adventurous Eaters, features beautiful photography of foods grown at more than 50 Northern Michigan farms and gardens. To vote for her book, currently contending for the best Kindergarten/First grade book in the state, email Trish Sippola at greatlakesgreatbooks@ gmail.com or view the entire ballot at www.michiganreading.org.

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www.grandtraversewoman.com 2/9/17 11:40 AM

Grand Traverse Woman The Zonta Club of Traverse City celebrated the 50-year membership anniversary of Anne Robinson at the Hagerty Center in April.

Robinson is the longest standing club member in Zonta TC’s history. She was recognized with a Zonta yellow rose friendship toast and a special presentation about her impact on the community and Zonta TC. Over her 50year tenure with Zonta, she served the local club as president, treasurer and volunteered for years auditing Zonta TC’s books. “Anne’s commitment to Zonta and our mission is an inspiration to all of us,” said Zonta TC president, Deb Jackson.

The Zonta Club of Traverse City has awarded $20,000 to seven Northwest Michigan area non-profit agencies: Girl Scouts, Grand Traverse Pavilions, The Rock of Kingsley, Traverse Bay Children’s Advocacy Center, Angel Care Child Care, Girls on the Run, and Students United for Gender Rights at NMC. Zonta TC awards grants annually.

This year’s grants ranged in size from $1,000 to $5,500. www.zontatc.org Jennifer Ewing of Human Resource Partners has successfully completed the required coursework and examination for Everything DiSC Workplace Certification.

Everything DiSC helps teams communicate and interact more effectively by bringing assessment insights to life through specific, personalized solutions. By offering strategies for creating a common language that translates across organizational hierarchy and industry, Everything DiSC builds better working relationships among people. www. humanresourcepartners.com Kitchen Choreography has received the 2017 Best of Service Award from HOUZZ, the leading online platform for home remodeling and design. The Best of Houzz award is given annually to the top 3 percent of industry professionals and the Customer Service honors are based on several factors, including the number and quality of client reviews a professional received in 2016.

“We are delighted to be included in this incredible group of talented and customerfocused professionals,” said co-owner Angela Goodall. 420 S. Division St., Traverse City, www.kitchenchoregraphy.net, 231.932.9700 Dawn Hemming, president and founder of Hemming& Wealth Management was named to the 2017 Circle of Champions by broker dealer SagePoint Financial, a leading

www.grandtraversewoman.com

financial services firm. Hemming was named one of the top 25 advisors of more than 1,300 independent advisors. For the last 25 years, Hemming and her team have assisted clients in preparing for their financial future. In addition to working with clients, Hemming has also served as a member of Advisor Groups’ Women’s Advisory Board for the last six years. www.hemmingwm.com Chemical Bank has celebrated its 100th anniversary by ringing the opening bell at Nasdaq in New York City. Chemical Bank first opened its doors for business on March 14, 1917, in the heart of downtown Midland as Chemical State Savings Bank. Through the years, Chemical Bank has focused its attention on delivering a community bank experience highlighted by exceptional customer service, expansive community involvement and dedication to philanthropic efforts that improve the quality of life for residents of the communities it serves. Today, Chemical Bank has grown to 249 banking centers across a three-state footprint and has more than 3,500 employees. Chemical Bank serves over 500,000 households and in 2016, it achieved the distinction of becoming the largest banking company headquartered in Michigan. www.chemicalbank.com

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The Traverse City Optimist Club has awarded $12,000 in grants to local youthoriented organizations. Grants ranging from $500 to $2,000 were given to the following organizations: TCAPS-Students in Transition Empowerment Program (STEP), The Rock of Kingsley, GT Conservation District Boardman River Nature Center, Traverse Bay Children’s Advocacy Center, Junior Achievement, Maritime Heritage Alliance, Inland Sea’s Education Association, VASA Ski Club, Wings of Wonder, Child & Family Services, Traverse City Central High FIRST Robotics TEAM, Boots for Kids, Big Brothers/ Big Sisters. tc-optimist.org

The Michigan Association of Broadcasters has awarded 9&10 News the top honor as the 2016 Station of the Year for Commercial Television Market 3. It was the only station in Northern Michigan to be recognized. “To be able to provide the viewers of Northern Michigan a solid newscast along with special pieces is an honor, but for Michigan Association of Broadcasters to notice the work that goes into doing so is unbelievable,” said Kevin Dunaway, vice president/general manager. www.9and10news.com

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May/June '17 49

Grand Traverse Woman The following Century 21 Northland realtors have won 2016 Centurion Producer Awards: Cory Beuerle, Meagan Luce, Lou Anne Ford and Andrea Galloup. Requirements for the award are earning at least $242,000 in sales production or having 67 closed transaction sides within a calendar year.

Carolyn Collins has won the 2016 Masters Diamond Producer award. Diamond level status is awarded to a sales affiliate who has met minimum sales production of $203,000 or 56 closed transaction sides within a calendar year. Bridget Carefoot, Barb Cooper and Kristine Shacklette from the Traverse City office, as well as Kellie Sergent from the Elk Rapids branch, earned Masters Emerald Producer awards. The honor is based on amassing 28 to 36 transactions during a calendar year. Agents Karen Ardery and Luba Childs, both from the Traverse City office, earned Masters Ruby Producer awards for 2016 based by successfully completing 37 to 45 transactions. 231.929.7900, www.c21northland.com TBA Credit Union recently distributed $762 to local schools through its Spirit Check Program. When a member orders a box of checks imprinted with the school’s logo, that school earns $2. “We are excited to again provide an avenue for TBA Credit Union to provide funding for our local schools,” said Christie Dompierre, marketing director. Since the inception of TBA Credit Union’s Spirit Check Program

in 2009, the credit union has donated more than $6,000. 231.946.7090, tbacu.com Rehmann has been named to “West Michigan’s Best and Brightest Companies to Work for” for the 15th consecutive year.

The “Best and Brightest” list consists of companies considered to have especially innovative and thoughtful human resource approaches. “This award reflects a culture that, as a firm, we are incredibly passionate about and proud of,” said Katie Strehler, Rehmann’s chief human resources officer.

The Best and Brightest Companies to Work For program provides the business community the opportunity to gain recognition, showcase their best practices and demonstrate why they are an ideal place for employees to work. www.rehmann.com

EVENTS Grand Traverse Ophthalmology Clinic will host its annual Spring Trunk Show from 1 to 7 p.m. Thursday, May 4. “Let the good times roll” with the large selection of fashionable frames from top designers like De Rigo Rem, Prodesign, Woow, OGI and Modo. Discounts of 20 percent or more are offered. A percentage of proceeds from the sale will benefit Traverse Health Clinic, Preserve Hickory and Mount Holiday.

GTOC will also be accepting donations of non-perishable food items for the Father Fred Foundation during the trunk show.

929 Business Park Dr., Traverse City, 231.947.6246, www.gtoc.net

On Saturday, May 13, from 10 a.m. to 12 p.m., children ages 4-12 are invited to F&M Park for Lids for Kids where they can be fitted with a free bicycle helmet, learn bike safety tips and enjoy other family-friendly activities, thanks to various businesses and organizations that are working to prevent head injuries in children. Trained volunteers will be on hand to custom-fit every helmet. “Head injuries in children can be devastating,” said event sponsor and organizer Wendy Nienhouse, owner of Agevix. “Fortunately, many bike-related head injuries are preventable, and the solution is as simple as a properly fitted bike helmet.” Children can register to win a free bicycle from McLain Cycle & Fitness, cruise a bicycle obstacle course provided by Norte Youth Cycling, meet a police officer and more. www.lidsforkidsmi.org Nominations are open for the 2017 ATHENA Grand Traverse Award. The ATHENA Award honors individuals who strive toward the highest levels of personal and professional accomplishment, who excel in their chosen field, devote time and energy to community in a meaningful way, and forge paths of leadership for women to follow. Those interested in submitting a nomination may do so on the Zonta Club of Traverse City website (zontacluboftraversecity.org). Nominations must be submitted no later than May 19.

The ATHENA Grand Traverse Award will be awarded on Monday, June 26 at the 23rd

Annual ATHENA Award Celebration to be held at The Hagerty Center in Traverse City. The Award Celebration is open to the public and tickets are available on the Zonta Club of Traverse City’s website or My North Tickets.

Thousands of families in West Michigan are coming together to prevent birth defects, premature birth, and other infant health problems in the March for Babies. The local march will be held May 6 at 9 a.m. at the Grand Traverse Civic Center. “We invite families and all those who love babies to join us in March for Babies,” said Stephanie Gonda, March of Dimes event chair. March for Babies is the largest annual fundraising event for the March of Dimes. Sign up to participate or donate at marchforbabies.org.

The National Writers Series is a yearround book festival that brings some of our country’s most talented and popular authors.

Upcoming events include: MAY 3: Elizabeth Strout, Anything is Possible, #1 New York Times Bestselling Author and Pulitzer Prize winner; MAY 26, Andrea Petersen, On Edge: A Journey Through Anxiety; JUNE 7, Mary Roach, Grunt: The Curious Science of Humans at War, New York Times Bestselling Author “America’s Funniest Science Writer”; and JUNE 25, Julie Glass, A House Among the Trees, National Book Award Winner.

Doors open at 6 p.m. for all events and feature live music, a cash bar, and Morsels.

For tickets visit www.cityoperahouse.org.

Model Call PHOTOGRAPHY I’m looking for female models 21+, no modeling experience needed.

If you’re interested please email Sarah stating WHY you want to model and attach a photo of yourself to: sarah@sarahbrown-photography.com Boudoir and/or Glamour 50

May/June '17

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Grand Traverse Woman

Grand Traverse Woman GTWOMAN NETWORK NITE

GTWOMAN LUNCHEON

Wednesday, May 10 5–7 p.m.

Location: Floor Covering Brokers Carpet One

Thursday, May 25 11 a.m.–1 p.m.

Speaker: Kelli Cravey

Join us for our May Network Nite! Come out to meet area women who work, play and live in the area. You’ll make great connections and start relationships in a personal one-on-one setting. Our Network Nites foster a relaxed atmosphere that draws kind, capable and amazing women. Join us!

It’s the JANE REVEAL. Hear the story and see the makeovers for our 3 Janes!

PRIZES: We will have a grand prize of over $200. Attendees may also bring prizes to donate for 15 seconds of fame at the mic and to promote their biz.

LOCATION: Floor Covering Brokers Carpet One, Barlow at South Airport Road in Traverse City TICKETS: Tickets are $15 each or 2/$20. Thank you to our Corporate Sponsor Credit Union One and Supporting Sponsors: Precision Plumbing & Heating, GT Resort & Spa, Deerhaven Dentistry, Z93 and TV 7&4. Visit www.grandtraversewoman.com to join us!

MONKEY

FARTS

EVENTS

Saying “Tata" to the Tatas!

Meet Kelli Cravey—a carrier for the BRCA 1 genetic mutation for breast cancer and ovarian cancer. She'll share her emotional story of losing her mother to breast cancer as a child, and how that inspired her to make the brave decision to undergo a prophylactic double mastectomy. It’s the courageous story of what it takes to be in the driver seat of your own health, and how to become a “previvor” (rather than risk the odds of becoming a cancer “survivor").

Kelli (Kaberle) Cravey is a former National Cherry Queen and superstar with the American Cancer Society. She now works at the Munson Healthcare Foundation, where she is passionate about educating women to take control of their health and life.

The luncheon is 11 a.m. to 1 p.m. at the Hagerty Center in Traverse City. We also have vendor booths available at the event for $185 (includes 2 lunch tix). Thank you to our series sponsors Chemical Bank and GTOC, and our supporting sponsors TV 9&10, Lite 96, Fox Grand Traverse, Northwood Animal Hospital, Sarah Brown Photography and SCORE. Tickets are $35 or 2 for $60. www.grandtraversewoman.com

GTWOMAN CHICAGO TRIP Fri-Sun, Nov. 10-12, 2017 Our first 3 buses are sold out–but we are going to add a 4th bus if our wait list gets long enough! We have 20 women on the list at press time–we need 50. Let’s do this!

Hotel: Courtyard Chicago Downtown Magnificent Mile.

Show: ESCAPE TO MARGARITAVILLE: More than a musical. It’s a way of life Cost: Quad: $395 each; Triple: $445 each; Double: $495 each. Includes 2 nights lodging in downtown Chicago, motorcoach transportation, 1 Broadway Show ticket, wine (margaritas on the bus??? Almost certainly) prizes, games and goody bags.

Sponsors: EmbroidMe, 9&10 News, Owens Soft Water, L Mawby Vineyards and Chateau Chantal.

HOLD YOUR SEATS: Get on the wait list! Email your group size/names to kandace@grandtraversewoman.com and let's fill the bus! We have 158 women going—can we do 200+? All signs point to yes.

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May/June '17 51

mommatrouble 1412 (in the) hood 1611

Grand Traverse Woman

BY KERRY WINKLER

BUSTED

Wing A FLURRY of missed calls is never a good sign.

I had been blissfully unattached to my phone while the kids were with their dad, but in a quick call-back I learned that Brook had taken a hard tumble while sledding and had hurt her arm on a late Sunday evening.

After much discussion, backtracking and asking her to demonstrate yet again how high she could lift her hurt arm, we decided to wait and go to her pediatrician in the morning. We were shocked to find out it was indeed a broken humerus. Parenting guilt made a grand entrance at that point.

But Brook took it in stride, happily putting on the sling her doctor gave her. Then she just looked at me and said, “So, can I still go back to school today?”

I sputtered. No way. She (we) had just spent the night sleeping fitfully, had been to two doctors this Monday morning and mother’s guilt was telling me to smother her with ice cream and love… but she insisted she was fine.

After a fruitless argument, I dropped her off at school. She headed in proud of the sling and ready to tackle the day. At pickup, looking pretty whipped, she delivered with a flourish a “Student of the Day” award for going back to school despite the broken arm. A nice yellow I Told You So note.

52

May/June '17

That set the stubborn tone for the next several weeks of healing.

Week 1: She was pretty quiet with the pain helping settle her down. But by Week 2, I noticed that her sling seemed to have a mind of its own. When she’d get back from school, it would be on practically backwards. In her eyes, it was simply a nuisance, especially cruising between classes. (However, homework? Now that is when proper sling wear proved useful because who can write with a broken right arm?)

Several arguments later, I took her back to the doctor for a talking to. He (patiently) described how to wear a sling properly while I sat slightly behind him and mouthed OR ELSE at every slight pause.

It was no surprise that Week 3 was still revealing a backwards sling. The heat was on to get this arm to heal properly. Time to call in the big guns: Grandpa. Without hesitation he pulled out a very convincing story of a maimed friend from high school who had simply not listened to his mother and was a one-armed weakling to this day. Brook thought about this as she considered a lifetime of one-armed cartwheels.

Week 4: Sling on correctly. Mission accomplished.

Fast forward to Week 8: The sling was removed! The doctor granted permission for limited exercises: i.e. pushups and lifting light objects. Of course, as all 11-year-old children do, this translated to “everything.” I found her doing somersaults “just so” and I have to admit it was good technique. The left side took the brunt, while the recovering right side followed along held tightly to her body. I admired her tenacity, if not her loose translation of doctor’s orders.

And finally, finally came the day the doctor greenlighted full-on cartwheels. Immediately we went to the field and, ta-da, she popped up and did it. She said it made her heart smile on the inside. I felt my mom guilt finally dissipate...

But not for long. That very night at supper, Brook started laying the groundwork for a longlasting childhood memory with an opening line of: “Remember when I broke my arm and you guys didn’t take me to the ER?”

Kerry Winkler is account director and co-publisher of Grand Traverse Woman. She lives in Interlochen with her two kids (one’s just learning to drive & she has new gray hair sprouting with each turn). She loves hiking outdoors and planning the next wine tour for GTWoman! She can be reached at kerry@grandtraversewoman.com.

NORTHERN ART PHOTOGRAPHY

BROOK'S FIRST CARTWHEEL IN 2017.

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Grand Traverse Woman

momma 1412

BY KANDACE CHAPPLE WWW.KANDACECHAPPLE.COM

Cake

When I was a teenager, everyone listened to pop music. I struggled to follow along but was relieved when Garth Brooks came on the scene in the 90s. Suddenly all of my friends loved him and country was the cool thing to listen to. I felt a quiet little pride: I had been there all along, people.

Now I have two children, both in middle school. Since the day they were born, we have all listened to country music on 103.5 WTCM. That, and I tune into the oldies show on Saturday nights for the country classics. Once, when the kids were little, I was listening to Merle Haggard’s “I Think I’ll Just Sit Here and Drink.” (I was just going with osmosis training at that point). Then I noticed that Nelson was actually singing it as “I think I’ll just sit here and pray.”

I felt torn. Do I let it go, or do I correct him, encouraging an 8-year-old boy to sing a drinking song?

I corrected him of course. It was Merle Haggard, after all.

As they got older, I started bribing them to learn entire country songs. I offered $20 to the first child who could sing Kathy Mattea’s “Love at the Five and Dime” without missing a word.

No one won because I made sure to fault them the slightest misstep so we could keep playing the song.

And then, just last fall, it happened. George Strait came on the radio. And. The moment I had worked my whole life toward. Happened.

Both kids started singing “All My Exes Live in Texas,” beginning to end.

My eyes wet, I silently mouthed “mic drop.”

But the last few months have brought the winds of change to the ol’ music scene at the Chapple household. Pop music has put the run on country music in the worst way.

It all started when I signed up for an eightweek cycling class and they played "Cake by the Ocean" on the first day. I was surprised to find I quite liked the song. With its inspiring lyrics, a glorious image of my dropping 10 lbs. and eating cake by the ocean came to mind.

The children’s eyes lit up in joyful accusation.

Then “Cake by the Ocean” came on, and I actually sang a few lines of it, the words escaping my lips when I wasn’t looking.

I couldn’t deny it any longer: I, unfortunately, liked pop music.

My apprenticeship officially started that very night. The kids took it upon themselves to school me on Rihanna, Charlie Puth and Ed Sheeran.

I made steady progress. Pop music was on during every ride to and from school, with Garth Brooks ramrodded in there when I was driving solo.

Once, I found I’d driven all the way to school pickup listening to pop music. I had forgotten to switch it KENDALL, JON, NELSON AND PATRICK LISTEN TO THE BAND AT THE HANG OUT IN GULF SHORES. over to country! I shivered in fear.

What was happening to me?

Two months later, we were at Gulf Why yes… we were going on spring break Shores for spring break. We went to dinner at in two months. Plenty of time to return to my The Hang Out with our friends the O’Connors. youthful figure, arrive pale white on the sandy A very popular place with a live band, sunshine beach... and enjoy cake by the ocean. It was the and youth everywhere. And the boys knew first sign that pop music was going to make an every song the band played—but so did I. appearance in my life.

Then, it all came to a head one night: chocoBut I tried to resist. No way did I want to late cake, 4 forks, the ocean and a 14-year-old be a 42-year-old mother having some kind of DJ. It was a powerful scene. midlife crisis and start listening to my children’s But eventually something had to give. And it music. (Growing up listening to it together was did.

One afternoon, Cyndi Lauper’s “Girls Just one thing. This, this, was another.) I was a true Wanna Have Fun” came on the radio. I hooted country fan. There was no gray area. I shoved and turned it up. Sang every word. OK, confesmy feelings down and went back to country. sion, maybe I wasn't actually all country back But then, without notice, the kids started askin the day. ing me to change the radio station. Every time The kids were instantly wounded and upset. they beat me to the car, 106 KHQ was tuned Who was this Cyndi Lauper and why was in. Pop music! I would switch it back. Threats she being received more enthusiastically than were delivered, front seat to back, back to front.

Maroon 5?

I started giving in. One pop song traded for one It became obvious—I would simply need Garth song. I wasn’t as heartbroken as I should to teach the kids classic pop alongside Merle have been, but I didn’t tell them that.

Haggard.

Next, we had a DJ party with the kids one Just like that, the apprenticeship turned on night. We played card games and everyone its heel and I found picked a song to play on my phone, passing it myself back in the around the table. By then I was well into my driver’s seat. cycling class, learning pop music in one-hour And, therefore, chunks twice a week. back in charge of The kids both picked pop songs. I accidenthe radio. tally tapped my foot to one song, then another.

Kandace Chapple is the editor and co-publisher of Grand Traverse Woman. She loves books, mountain biking and family. She lives with her husband, Tim, and their two kiddos, Kendall and Nelson. There's also Cookie the dog, two cats and, somehow, the kids also talked her into a bird. You can reach her at kandace@grandtraversewoman.com. Read her blog at www.kandacechapple.com.

www.grandtraversewoman.com

May/June '17 53

NORTHERN ART PHOTOGRAPHY

I’VE ALWAYS loved country music.

BY THE OCEAN

Grand Traverse Woman

2017

2017 JUNE PERFORMANCES Thursday, June 1 ZZ Top with special guest Austin Hanks Tuesday, June 27 Marc Broussard Wednesday, June 28 Michael McDonald & Boz Scaggs Thursday, June 29 PAUL SHAFFER & The World’s Most Dangerous Band plus Special Guest Vocalist Valerie Simpson Friday, June 30 OK Go Friday, June 30 King Lear

Interlochen Shakespeare Festival

JULY PERFORMANCES Saturday, July 1 King Lear

Interlochen Shakespeare Festival

Sunday, July 2 World Youth Symphony Orchestra Karina Canellakis, conductor Monday, July 3 The Capitol Steps July 3, 5 & 6 American Hwangap

by Lloyd Suh

Interlochen Shakespeare Festival

Thursday, July 6 Michael Feinstein

Friday, July 7 Film Screening: Ai Weiwei: Never Sorry - with lecture by director Alison Klayman July 7 & 8 King Lear

Interlochen Shakespeare Festival

Saturday, July 8 Shen Wei Dance Arts Sunday, July 9 World Youth Symphony Orchestra JoAnn Falletta, conductor Tuesday, July 11 Interlochen “Collage”

May/June '17

Thursday, July 27 Mark Nizer, 4D Comedy & Juggling Show Friday, July 28 Danish String Quartet Sunday, July 30 World Youth Symphony Orchestra Carlos Izcaray, conductor Alon Goldstein, piano Sarah Cahill, piano

AUGUST PERFORMANCES Wednesday, Aug. 2 Nathan Gunn, baritone Julie Gunn, piano

Wednesday, July 12 Trace Adkins Saturday, July 15 Nagata Shachu

Aug. 3-6 Evita

Sunday, July 16 World Youth Symphony Orchestra Carlos Kalmar, conductor Simone Porter, violin

High School Musical Theatre Co.

Sunday, Aug. 6 World Youth Symphony Orchestra and Les Préludes Jung-Ho Pak, conductor

Monday, July 17 Straight No Chaser

Thursday, Aug. 10 Salt-N-Pepa with Tone Lōc

Wednesday, July 19 Diana Ross

Aug. 14, 16 & 19 Ensō String Quartet

Saturday, July 22 Amos Lee Sunday, July 23 World Youth Symphony Orchestra Cristian Mȃcelaru, conductor

Monday, Aug. 14 Gavin DeGraw Thursday, Aug. 17 JETHRO TULL by Ian Anderson

Tuesday, July 25 Chris Janson with special guest Davisson Brothers Band

tickets.interlochen.org 54

Tuesday, July 25 Lily Hoang, author

•

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Grand Traverse Woman

A Year-Round â„¢

NATIONAL WRITERS SERIES

Please Join us in Conversation!

BOOK FESTIVAL

o Cheers for women authors!p Wednesday, May 3

Friday, May 26

Author of Olive Kitteridge Pulitzer Prize winner

Author of On Edge: A Journey Through Anxiety

Guest Host: Benjamin Busch Event sponsor: Chemical Bank

Guest Host: Morgan Springer Event sponsor: Wayne and Terry Lobdell

Wednesday, June 7

Sunday, June 25

Bestselling author of Gulp & Sniff

National Book Award author of Three Junes

ELIZABETH STROUT

MARY ROACH

Guest Host: Benjamin Busch Event sponsor: Grand Traverse Resort & Spa

And dog lovers too!

Friday, July 7

W. BRUCE CAMERON

New York Times bestselling author of A Dog's Purpose Guest Host: Ron Jolly Event sponsor: Cherry Capital Airport Literary sponsor: Stewert James www.grandtraversewoman.com

ANDREA PETERSEN

JULIA GLASS

Guest Host: David Ebershoff Event sponsor: Bill and Anne Montgomery

ALL %6%.43 !4 #)49 /0%2! (/53% s PM s s s s s

For tickets call 231-941-8082, ext. 201, go to the City Opera House box office, or order at cityoperahouse.org

www.nationalwritersseries.org Thank you to Cordia our Sustaining Sponsor and Traverse City Eye, Season Sponsor May/June '17 55

Grand Traverse Woman

Karastan National Carpet Sale

Bonaire II

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Sale PricesYou Can Believe In

Every carpet, every style, every color made by Karastan, America’s premier carpet manufacturer, is on sale now through the end of May at Carpet Galleria. Choose the carpet that best fits your needs, and experience real savings, savings that you can believe in.

The Perfect Carpet For Every Decor It all began in 1928, when Karastan began to develop the technology to produce more styles, more colors, more weaving techniques than ever before. Karastan continues to push the technological envelope today with “Color Point” tufting, a system that produces one-of-a-kind carpet styles.

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At Carpet Galleria we are committed to maintaining the highest installation standards in the industry. We back that up with our Lifetime Installation Warranty, a program that guarantees your carpet installation for as long as you own your home.

One year interest-free financing available with approved credit 56 May/June '17 1035 S. Garfield Ave, Traverse City

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