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MAY/JUNE '18 • MOTHERHOOD ISSUE
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May/June '18
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WOMAN2WOMAN BY KANDACE CHAPPLE & KERRY WINKLER
Grand Traverse
WOMAN northern michigan’s magazine for women
It’s the THE KIDS wanted to go for a four-wheeler ride. Kandy’s son Nelson took their ATV (his brother was at soccer!) while Kerry’s two kids had to… steal Grandpa’s. It was fine. Kind of. Grandpa wasn’t around but they had to go soon if they were going. It was late in the afternoon. So a decision was made that they could take it. Dad would be totally fine with it. Maybe. The next problem: Max and Brook would have to ride double on Grandpa’s. “Wait, that’s illegal,” Kandy said. “No it’s not,” said Kerry, who does not, for the record, own a four-wheeler. Regardless, the kids set out on a sunny March afternoon. We decided to go for a dog walk. Everyone was happy. But about 30 minutes in, Kandy noticed she’d missed two phone calls from Nelson. Interesting. She called him back. No answer. More interesting. “Do you think they’re in trouble?” asked Kandy. “How could you not hear it ring?” asked Kerry, who, for the record, hadn’t even brought her phone. At a slightly more aerobic pace, we headed for home. Wait. We heard four wheelers in the distance! We saw them coming down the shoulder of the road and turning into Kerry’s driveway up ahead of us. Relief! Until we saw a conservation officer pull in behind them. What followed next was not our best mom moment. In quick succession, without even knowing why they’d been escorted home, we debated: The cop would lecture them, but he would ticket us. Two separate problems. But only one of which would cost us money. “Keep walking!” Kerry said. “OK,” Kandy agreed. “They need to learn their lesson!” But agreeing with Kerry is as good as disagreeing with her. She then insisted we go back. “We need to save them!” she shrieked. We were standing, facing each other, holding each other’s arms and tugging back and forth. Go and help? Wait and let them learn? Suddenly, we realized the officer was probably watching us wrestle. We had no choice but to turn ourselves in. We walked up, feigning surprise, outstanding citizens.
Facing the music The officer put down his truck window and started with this: “The world would be a better place if there were more kids like yours.” It was another wrestling match—internally. Actions and words were not meshing. “But… what did they do?” Kandy finally managed, taking responsibility for her offspring at last. “I pulled them over for riding double,” he said. Things were adding up now. (Most importantly that Kandy was right about the riding double thing.) “But they were so polite about it,” the officer said. “Such nice kids, outside enjoying themselves.” We didn't know what to say. He hauled them in but was letting them off! We were in love with him, our children, the March day and the fact that we’d decided to come clean. When he had stopped them for riding double, they had tried to call home for a ride. But when they couldn’t reach us (burst of shame in our chests), the officer, by law, had to escort them home. For some reason, this conversation was lovely. Our kids had been commandeered by a cop and yet we were enjoying ourselves. He said that Brook waved to him several times on
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the ride home, perched on the back of the stolen four-wheeler. We laughed! But when he said that Nelson had been “drifting” on all the corners right in front of him, we decided it was time to get that good man on his way home.
Volume 15, No. 5 MAY/JUNE 2018 Grand Traverse Woman P.O. Box 22 Interlochen, MI 49643 tel: 231.276.5105 www.grandtraversewoman.com BLOG: www.kandacechapple.com FACEBOOK: www.facebook.com/grandtraversewoman PUBLISHERS Kandace Chapple Kerry Winkler EDITOR Kandace Chapple, kandace@grandtraversewoman.com ACCOUNT DIRECTOR Kerry Winkler, kerry@grandtraversewoman.com ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES Deb Dent, deb@grandtraversewoman.com Sherry Galbraith, sherry@grandtraversewoman.com Lori Maki, lori@grandtraversewoman.com ASSISTANT EDITOR Eva Nienhouse, eva@grandtraversewoman.com COPY EDITOR Christine Kurtz DESIGNER Bethany Gulde, bethany@grandtraversewoman.com COVER PHOTO Gina Ferwerda, food blogger extraordinaire and owner of www.nomnews.com will be speaking at the GTWoman May 23rd “Boating & Burgers” Luncheon! See her story on page 8. Beth Price Photography, www.bethpricephotography.com PHOTOGRAPHERS Sarah Brown, Sarah Brown Photography www.sarahbrown-photography.com Scarlett Piedmonte, Photography by Scarlett www.photobyscarlett.com Beth Price, Beth Price Photography www.bethpricephotography.com
Off the CO went. And there the kids sat in the driveway, waiting to be grounded for life, waiting to tell the story of their lives. Max, the only one who’d had to produce his ID for the cop, started with: “I could have gotten a misdemeanor!” Fear and pride in his words. “I told you guys it was illegal!” Kandy said (again). “You are so lucky you didn’t get a ticket!” Kerry said. And they were lucky. Lucky that Grandpa hadn’t been here to see it go down.
Grandpa Returns Which is just when Grandpa pulled into the driveway, having spotted his (stolen) four-wheeler. We couldn’t believe his timing. Before he got out of the car, we turned to the kids and hissed, “You’re dead now.” At this point, we were having a LOT of fun at the expense of our children. High on our escape, we couldn’t care less what Dad did to the kids. They deserved the same iron fist he’d ruled with when we were kids. It would be fun to watch. But as the story unfolded, Dad started focusing entirely too much on us. “But you know it’s illegal!” he said to us. “I did,” became a very weak calling card for Kandy. The kids didn’t even get a lecture. We, however, found out that you can still get grounded at 43. We’ll be let out sometime in May. Happy Father’s Day, Dad!
CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Katherine Brege Kerri Collier Dawn Marie Eickenroth Gina Ferwerda Dr. Bradley Hahn Shannon Jensen Gary Langley Todd Nienhouse Jon Nickels
Kathy Rogols John Russell Joe Sanok Leah Shepler Clara Short Rebecca Venticinque Jenifer Witt Rose Marie Zivkovich
ADVERTISING Kerry Winkler at 231.276.5105 or kerry@grandtraversewoman.com Visit www.grandtraversewoman.com for rates. SUBSCRIPTIONS To receive GTWoman at home, mail $20 (for 6 issues) to: Grand Traverse Woman, P.O. Box 22, Interlochen, MI 49643 ARTICLES/PRESS RELEASES Letters, inquiries, press releases and GTWoman In Business submissions are welcome. See www.grandtraversewoman.com for guidelines. MISSION STATEMENT Grand Traverse Woman is a bimonthly magazine dedicated to the interests of women in the five-county region. Our mission is to provide women with a publication that is educational and inspirational. We strive to maintain a positive, well-balanced and genuine forum for women's issues. (We also like funny stuff.) © Copyright 2018 Grand Traverse Woman LLC All rights reserved.
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BY GINA FERWERDA
FOR MANY YEARS, my priorities were my businesses and raising my two girls. But the moment I became an empty-nester, I started to feel like I was missing something. That "something,” I soon discovered, was creating and sharing recipes with others. I recently published my debut cookbook, Meals from the Mitten: Celebrating the Seasons in Michigan. It was a year-long labor of love. Actually, it was more like a lifetime of food, agriculture and tourism that compelled me to write this book. My own experiences from the past 45 years inspired it. I knew my first cookbook needed to be a love story of food and of Michigan and how, for me, the two are intimately connected.
GROWING UP
BETH PRICE PHOTOGRAPHY
As I grew up near the shores of Lake Michigan, my passion for food developed at an early age. My love for cooking grew from watching my grandmother, Betty, in the kitchen. My grandparents were farmers and produced everything from asparagus, cherries and peaches to apples and more. I never knew "farm-to-table" as a trend: it was a simple reality for my farming family. I spent the first 20 years of my life living the farm life, and the last 25 years have been all about the Michigan resort tourism business. After my husband, Ted, and I got married, we started growing our businesses, along with our two daughters, Andrea and Ariana. Ted and I own and operate a boat rental, vacation resorts and beach shops here in Michigan, which inspired me to create a sportswear clothing line, aptly named Wet Head. We have several of our businesses listed on our website, www.staymichigan.com.
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CLAIM TO FAME ON THE GRILL As my and Ted’s business ventures grew, I put my passion for cooking to good use. I always enjoyed baking for our hotel guests for the breakfast bar and grilling burgers at our boat rental during boating season at Wave Club Water Sports near the Silver Lake Sand Dunes along the shores of Lake Michigan, two hours south of Traverse City. The burgers were my claim to fame, so to speak. But trust me when I say it didn't happen overnight. I slowly got into it by using frozen patties from the grocery store, and then I went on a quest to make the best burgers ever. My burger-game changed dramatically with a meat grinder. Now I have a huge commercial-grade meat grinder in my kitchen at home. People who know me don't bring bottles of wine over to my house as hostess gifts—they bring slabs of meat! (Actually, if you really know me you'll bring meat, beer AND the wine!) When people see the three huge grills and all the grinding equipment at my house, they instantly think it's my husband's stuff. Perhaps my heels, makeup and blonde hair don't help my case, but this girl happens to be the meat butcher, grinder and grill master of our house!
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I am always asked how I started cooking on TV. Well, that's a funny story. Most people start a food blog in the hopes of showcasing their recipes on TV; my story is exactly the opposite. In the spring of 2014, I attended a friend’s surprise 40th birthday party and made my favorite Caprese burgers. I grilled all the burgers and set up a cute little burger bar with everything labeled. The party was at the home of a friend, Denise, who happens to be a producer for a lifestyle show in Grand Rapids. The burgers were a huge hit at the party! Denise heard everyone raving about them and invited me to do a 4th of July grilling segment on her show. I was so excited, but I had to create a website or blog so people watching the segment could get the recipe. Plus, it sure was nice to have my recipes in one place so I could send friends and family to my website instead of individually emailing recipes when they asked me for them.
90 BURGERS IN 90 DAYS So, I came up with the idea to do 90 burgers in 90 days on a blog just for the summer of 2014. I called it “Boating, Boarding & Burgers,” because, for my family and me, grilling burgers after the end of a long day on Silver Lake is just the best. The blog and my TV appearances took off from there. Now my blog is called NomNews. com. “Nom” refers to eating food and “News” represents my culinary travels from across the country. In the last four years, I have done over 40 live on-air food segments here in Michigan, Indiana, Florida and New York. I have been
featured by the Today Show Food Club, Good Morning America, ABC's The Chew and the Rachael Ray Show. I am also a Jeep Talk Show Food and Travel contributor. BETH PRICE PHOTOGRAPHY
THE NEXT STEP: TV
GOOD MORNING AMERICA! One of my favorite TV segments I did was on “National Chocolate Cake Day” on Good Morning America. GMA flew me to New York City to compete for the title of "Best Chocolate Cake in America.” The segment was hosted by GMA anchors Jesse Palmer, Amy Robach and Lara Spencer. The judges were the New York City-New Jersey Bakers Club and celebrity chef Rocco DiSpirito. My “Pretzel Crusted Chocolate Cake with Peanut Butter Frosting” came in first place! I was so happy to win, but mostly, this proud Michigander was just delighted to bring some food notoriety to my home state.
TODAY I am so grateful to have found my passion in cooking on TV, writing recipes and promoting the amazing produce we have here in Michigan. If someone would have told me 10 years ago that I'd be doing live TV segments and releasing a self-published cookbook with over 80 of my own recipes, I wouldn't have believed them in the slightest. But, with that being said, the most important thing I've taken out of all of this is that there are no limits to what we're able to do, at any age. The stars are the absolute limit, and I know that I'm just at the beginning of this exciting journey. I want to encourage others to do the same—to shoot for the moon. If even one person is inspired to pursue their passion and do what makes then happy, then my job is done.
Gina Ferwerda lives in Silver Lake with her husband, Ted. She has two grown daughters, a son-in-law and a granddaughter. She is a TV personality, travel and food blogger, business entrepreneur, and a co-founder of the 100+ Women Who Care of Oceana County. You can follow her love of food, travel, photography and adventurous lake life on Instagram @ginaferwerda. She can be reached at gina@nomnews.com, or visit www.nomnews.com.
Caprese Burgers with Pistachio Pesto & Blueberry Balsamic Drizzle by Gina Blueberry Balsamic Drizzle 1 cup balsamic vinegar ½ cup freshly mashed blueberries ¼ cup brown sugar Pistachio Pesto 2 cups fresh basil leaves 2 tablespoons pistachio nuts 2 cloves garlic ½ cup olive oil ½ cup grated Parmesan cheese
Patties 2 pounds freshly ground chuck (80/20) Kosher salt Freshly ground pepper 6 hamburger buns, split 6 (¼-inch) slices heirloom tomatoes 6 (¼-inch) slices fresh mozzarella 1½ cups frisee lettuce
MAKE BALSAMIC DRIZZLE In a medium saucepan, add vinegar, blueberries and sugar. Cook over medium-high heat for 10 to 12 minutes, or until mixture reduces by half. Remove from heat and set aside. Prepare the grill for direct cooking over medium-high heat. MAKE PESTO Place all pesto ingredients in a food processor and process until well-blended. Set aside. MAKE PATTIES Gently shape ground chuck into 6 patties of equal size and thickness (or 12 small sliders). With your thumb or the back of a spoon, make a shallow indentation about 1 inch wide in the center of each patty. Cover and refrigerate until ready to grill. Grill patties over direct medium-high heat, with the lid closed as much as possible, for 4 to 5 minutes. Turn patties over and grill an additional 4 to 5 minutes. During the last minute of cooking, place the buns cut-side down on the outer edges of the grill to toast lightly. Remove buns and patties from grill. ASSEMBLE Spread pesto over all cut sides of buns. On each bun bottom, add equal amounts of frisee and a patty. Top each patty with a tomato slice, followed by a mozzarella slice. Drizzle balsamic over mozzarella, then add bun tops. NOTE When blueberries aren’t in season, feel free to substitute with strawberries, cherries or any seasonal fruit.
2018
LUNCHEONS BETH PRICE PHOTOGRAPHY
Meet Gina! Gina will be speaking at GTWoman’s May 23rd Luncheon on “Boating & Burgers.” She will talk about her career plus give us a burger bar demo! Her Meals From the Mitten: Celebrating the Seasons of Michigan is a 208-page book (Story Farm, $35) that shares Gina’s favorite recipes while showcasing the freshest seasonal Michigan ingredients. Visit www.grandtraversewoman.com for tickets or vendor booth information.
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May/June '18
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Grand Traverse Woman
r e v e r Fo FINDING MY NEW
BY SHANNON JENSEN
SHANNON AND HER KIDS PLAYING ON A SUMMER DAY IN EMPIRE. THEY HIKED THE SLEEPING BEAR SAND DUNES AND ENDED WITH A CAMPFIRE ON THE BEACH.
A BLISSFUL MARRIAGE
was something I had dreamed about for forever. As my boyfriend and I dated, things progressed seemingly normally, though with red flags that I naively chose to ignore. When we got married, I thought I had my forever fairytale. I longed to have a family and be surrounded by children, laughter and love.
ALONE But on the morning of Feb. 29, 2016, after ten years of marriage, the realization that I was living a (solo) fiction in my head crashed over me like a wave. I learned that my partner had started his own separate life long before. He was my only man, but I was not his only woman. I was eight months pregnant with our fourth child, a daughter, expecting her arrival in two weeks. Suddenly, I felt so alone. I remember falling to my knees and praying for God to give me the strength to endure this storm. I had long before given up my career in the medical field to be a dedicated wife and mother. Now, with limited to no income, I faced the possibility of having four children and being without a home. I was scared.
FIGHTING FOR MY LIFE A few weeks after I delivered my daughter, Gianna, things continued to spiral down. I began massively hemorrhaging, and Peninsula Township Fire Department and North Flight rushed me to the hospital. Despite Munson’s wonderful medical professionals, I was going downhill. I said goodbye to my parents and my four children. I reminded myself to fight. “Fight Shannon,” I said repeatedly. I was not going to let my story end like this. The medical team performed an emergency hysterectomy, and after several blood transfusions, I slowly stabilized. Each waking hour was a challenge physically, emotionally and mentally. While lying in my hospital bed, I filed for my divorce. It was the darkest and most difficult time in my life.
LIVING ANGELS But as quickly as things had unraveled, I felt Traverse City angels surround me from all sides, supporting me and loving me. Through it all, my parents, my principal angels, were there. The staff cheered me on, and strangers became friends. My recovery medically was paralleled by my recovery in other areas as church members, neighbors, friends and people I barely knew from the Old Mission community helped me. They assisted with the care of my children and prayed for me. People, some of whom I hardly knew, cleaned and did projects at my house while I was in the hospital. They asked for and expected nothing in return. Their steadfast loyalty and compassion never wavered. Love backed by action was so apparent and graciously given to us. I was so broken, but they did not give up on my children and me. And neither did God.
also showed me the importance of forgiveness. Although I may stumble, I have experienced an inner peace and have again reached an emotional equilibrium in my life. I feel free from the sadness and pain of the past. Accomplishments like learning how to change a furnace filter, re-staining a deck, camping and participating in events such as The Bayshore Marathon help me focus on the physical representations of my continued growth and healing. While my lifestyle is not what it was before and adjusting to our new norm isn’t always easy, my life is slowly being pieced back together. Gianna was given the middle name “Phoenix,” which means a new beginning, and life indeed dawned anew from that point forward. Gianna turned 2 in March and she is an amazing, bright presence in our lives. My other three children: Will, 9, Norah, 6, and Jonny, 4, continue to fill our home with laughter and love.
CHOOSING LOVE
A BEAUTIFUL BEGINNING
I had many opportunities to fall into an abyss of resentment and anger, but I knew I had a responsibility much greater than my own suffering. I had to fight. I had four little blessings depending on me. One afternoon when I was returning home from court, I saw the children had proudly displayed their artwork on our porch as a gift for me. They had traced an outline of their bodies and filled the drawings with love messages and affirmations. At that moment, I made the conscious decision to allow love to lead my life. The maxim “love wins” was again proven to be true. The love this community had for me, the love that Jesus had in supporting all of us, is the love that won. My strength has always come from my relationships, and it endures.
At age 37, I have begun a career as a real estate agent and have already found so much support and love in the relationships I’ve made. My goal is that my real estate practice embodies the same unselfish, family-oriented characteristics that were demonstrated by this community in my greatest hour of need. I am forever grateful to those individuals, companies, and groups and am so inspired by their love and generosity. If anyone needs a helping hand or would like to connect, I would be honored to “pay it forward.” Author Brene Brown says, “Owning your story is the bravest thing you will ever do.” As I have reflected, I have found peace in my own story. Each of us have our own story of struggle, and it is my hope that I can help others overcome similar challenges. It is a risk to be vulnerable, but the process has been empowering. It has been incredibly healing. I feel I am on my way to a new forever, and it’s even better than I could have dreamed.
FINDING STRENGTH This chapter of my life helped me reflect on my strengths as a woman, mother and friend. It
Shannon Jensen is an Old Mission Peninsula resident and a mother of four children. They embrace and love everything about life in Northern Michigan, from exploring the beautiful outdoors to playing hockey to horseback riding. She is a Realtor with Century 21 Northland.
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My angel baby
SURVIVING MISCARRIAGE BY CLARA SHORT
But a couple of weeks later, at five weeks pregnant, I experienced some spotting a few days in a row. I knew this was normal early on in pregnancy, but I called my doctor just in case. They sent me to the lab to have my blood drawn and check my human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG) levels. They scheduled me for an ultrasound appointment on Monday, Feb. 26—my 30th birthday. Seeing my baby for the first time would be a wonderful way to start the next decade of my life.
The Plan: Friday My birthday plan was to spend the weekend in Traverse City at my parents’ house. That Friday before my ultrasound, my sister threw me a birthday party. The night was going as planned until the end when I went to use the restroom. I was bleeding. I went back to the party and wrapped things up and went straight to bed, praying that my baby was okay.
Saturday
CLARA WITH HER DAUGHTER HANNAH.
MISCARRIAGE
isn’t something you’re supposed to talk about. Maybe some don’t consider it a “real” loss since the baby wasn’t full developed, or maybe there’s a fear that someone will say something that makes it hurt even more. When I lost my unborn baby, I grieved privately at first. But as soon as I shared my story, a band of strong, understanding women rushed to my side. Together we connected over our losses. It was an embrace I didn’t know would be there, and it was one I needed.
Make Room I only waited two days after my missed cycle to take a pregnancy test. Having felt nauseous all week, I had a feeling it would be positive. Two lines appeared on the test’s window (I knew it!!) and my husband and I were overjoyed. We were having another baby! We had just celebrated my daughter’s second birthday a week before, and I had always wanted two children close in age. Two years and 9 months was an agreeable age gap for me. I called my OB-GYN right away and set up an appointment. My doctor gave me a due date of Oct. 11; I was going to have a Halloween baby!
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By the next evening, the bleeding had worsened. I couldn’t be having a miscarriage, I thought. I wasn’t having cramps, and I wasn’t bleeding severely enough to be miscarrying. Not knowing what was going on, my husband and I went to the ER. They drew my blood and took me over to ultrasound. And there on the ultrasound screen, to our relief, we could see a heartbeat. The baby measured at 8 weeks, a week further along than I thought I was. Also, my hCG levels were normal at 22,000. Although this was good news, the doctor said this could potentially progress to a miscarriage and advised me to keep my appointment on Monday.
Sunday On Sunday we went back to our home in Muskegon and prayed our baby would be okay. We found assurance in the most unexpected place—Web MD. It stated that when bleeding presents itself in the first trimester and a heartbeat is found, 90 percent of the time it progresses to a full-term pregnancy. We also found personal stories of women who experienced bleeding throughout their pregnancy and went on to deliver healthy babies.
Monday On Monday, we arrived at my ultrasound appointment 15 minutes early. After a quick chat with the doctor, I was sent down to the lab to draw more blood and then to get an ultrasound. In the ultrasound, I didn’t understand what I was looking at, so I asked the tech. “I’m sorry, I can’t answer any questions,” she said. We waited at the hospital for five hours until we finally saw the doctor. My toddler was at the end of her rope. We all were. We were hoping for good news because, after all, Saturday night our baby had a heartbeat.
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The doctor quietly sat down. “There is no heartbeat,” she said in almost a whisper. I felt my heart shatter into pieces and started sobbing. My husband had tears in his eyes. My daughter, Hannah, too young to understand, tried to make me smile. She reached up to me, smiling, and said in her sweet, little voice, “Mommy!” The doctor also informed us my hCG levels had dropped to 18,000. She gave us options: let it pass naturally, take a pill to speed up the process or schedule a D&C (dilation and curettage). I knew having to do it on my own would have been too much to handle, so we scheduled a D&C for the next day. When we got home, I logged onto Facebook and was greeted with friends wishing me a happy birthday and writing messages like “Hope you have a great day.” I felt like I had to hide my sadness. I responded to my friends, “Thank you! It was a wonderful birthday,” and kept the devastating news we’d just received to myself.
Finding Support In the days following, I kept my loss to myself. But after only a few days of pretending everything was okay, I decided to share on Facebook that I’d had a miscarriage. The love and support I received was overwhelming. I had many women share their own miscarriage stories; one woman who’d miscarried 30 years ago, another who’d had a miscarriage only a few months ago. Throughout this process, my faith has carried me through the sorrow. I take great comfort knowing that my baby is in Heaven under the care of Jesus and his angels. My baby will never know pain or sadness, and will only know love and happiness. We have also found comfort in the devotional “Loved Baby” by Sarah Philpott, which addresses the impossible questions
of miscarriage. I decided to open up about my miscarriage because I didn’t want to pretend that everything was okay when a piece of my heart was missing.
Moving Forward After I shared my experience, the women who reached out, who told me, “I’ve been there,” helped me feel less alone. It felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I no longer had to put on a facade. I didn’t have to pretend I was okay when I wasn’t. I didn’t have to mourn alone. It’s strange to miss someone you never had the chance to meet. And like any loss, life moves forward whether you’re ready for it to or not. One day, I’d love to have another child, but I will always carry my angel baby in my heart.
Clara Short is a Traverse City native and she lives with her family in Muskegon. She is a stay-at-home mom to her 2-year-old daughter, Hannah, and has been married to her husband, Dan, since August 2014.
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Why are there
ROBOT PARTS in my purse?
This mom’s journey into the world of STEM BY DAWN MARIE EICKENROTH
I AM a normal mom. I want my kids to be good people. I want them to do well in their schoolwork. I want them to pursue their interests. I want them to be well prepared for their future endeavors.
Robots on the Brain About two years ago, my 11-year-old son, Isaac, told me he wanted to build robots. I knew this wasn't a phase—this boy had been drawing machines for years. When I was tired, he didn't offer to help with the housework; instead he told me about the robots he would build so I would never have to do dishes or laundry again. He needed a way to explore building machines. I wasn't sure what I should do. We homeschool, so finding the opportunity for him was completely up to me. There was no access to school robotics programs, and I didn’t know where to go, whom to ask or what he needed to learn. The only resource I could find was RoboStorm, a high-school level, homeschool competitive robotics team. I heard about RoboStorm through our homeschool co-op, and I knew Isaac was too young. However, I hoped the team would let my boy hang around and learn.
More than Machinery D id they ever. Those wonderful people let my son show up, hang out and ask questions. They let him touch the robot. They let him help build. They even let him take it home and try to program it! My son's interest in machines turned into a passion for learning anything that helped him build a robot. Because of this, I will forever be grateful for the opportunity that RoboStorm gave us.
That first year of robotics, I learned as much as my son. I watched and learned with him as he dabbled in physics, math, research, computer science and electrical engineering. He practiced sportsmanship, teamwork and integrity. I watched him experience a very realistic introduction to the world of engineering and learned that robotics is so much more than just learning about machines! By the end of my son’s first robotics season, he earned a spot as a full member of the team, not just an observer. The team worked their way up the competitive ladder, competing at the Michigan State VEX Robotics Competition and even earning a ticket to the VEX Robotics World Championship in Kentucky. The competition was attended by the top 564 high school VEX robotics teams in the world!
a high-school team and two middle school students? And, I had to make sure my four kids got through all their schoolwork and music lessons, too. I needed help!
Warm Quarkmine Welcome Philip Leete and John Gillian, whose names I got through our previous robotics team mentor, taught me and my brood the necessary skills to succeed. Their business, Quarkmine, a recently opened technology exploration and educational center in Logan’s Landing, provided us with the space and the education we needed. During the robotics season, my family is at the Quarkmine space two to three times a week and the teams are there once a week. In addition to RoboStorm, there is also the RoboRunners robotics team, of which my daughter is a member. Although RoboStorm
Robot Roadblock The next school year, Isaac was the only returning member of RoboStorm. Either I found new members and mentored the team myself, or Isaac lost his chance to continue in competitive robotics. In addition, I had two younger children who were now fascinated with the subject. Eventually two other boys, brand new to robotics, joined the team. Because the team had always been run by a parent, and I was the only one with experience, I ran the team. Parents pitched in, but the teams are encouraged to be student led. I ask questions for the kids to think through and find the answers. For me, it is about what they learn, not what they win. I wondered: How was I, a stay-at-home, homeschooling mom of four going to mentor a high-school robotics team? How was I going to find robotics training for myself, THIS YEAR'S ROBOSTORM TEAM WORKING ON ONE OF MANY VERSIONS OF SPARKY, THEIR ROBOT. LEFT TO RIGHT: ASHTON HERSHEY, CALEB SMITH AND ISAAC EICKENROTH.
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did not have any girls on the team last year, it has in the past and it will again. I discovered that robotics was not just a perfect fit for a kid with robots on the brain. It was also a complete science, technology, engineering and mathematics (STEM) DAWN AND HUSBAND JUSTIN EICKENROTH. solution. Competitive robotics is motivation to learn all the areas of STEM and how they integrate with each other. It is a realistic and engaging introduction to the many facets of the engineering world. Even more importantly, I discovered that robotics has a place for everyone. It is perfect for the methodical LEGO builder and ideal for the strategist. It is the ultimate problem-solving challenge for creative thinkers, and it stretches the skills of the people-person, too.
Robots for All—Mom, Too I started this journey to further my child’s education, but I have managed to grow my own interest in robots. I’ve watched this robotics phenomenon draw, stretch and grow all types and ages of people. Now, it is because of my own fascination with the subject that I find robot parts accumulating in my purse.
Dawn Eikenroth is a homeschool mom and accidental robotics mentor. She will run RoboStorm next year, too. If you have any questions, you can reach her at dmeickenroth@gmail.com.
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Being a Mom to a
BLENDED FAMILY
PHOTO BY SUSAN ARMSTRONG
BY REBECCA VENTICINQUE
THE BLENDED FAMILY: LEFT TO RIGHT, HOPE, BELLE, DAD TONY, LENA, PAIGE, ALEX, LUKE, MOM REBECCA AND WYATT.
BOTH OF MY PARENTS
died much too young. My mom had breast cancer and passed away when she was 44. In November of 2013, I got a phone call that, while out on a home inspection, my father had fallen down the cellar stairs. By the time he’d been found, it was too late. My dad had always been my hero growing up. He was always there for me. But I was an only child, and I knew that someday I wanted a large family of my own. Eventually, I did have my own children, and I didn’t know that life could possibly get sweeter. But, after a divorce and remarrying, my big family has finally arrived: I’ve become mother to a blended family of seven children plus a dog.
FAMILY OF SIX In 1997, at the age of 21, I got married. By 2005, I was raising four children under the age of 5: two beautiful girls, Paige Alexis and Hope Alexandra, and two wonderful boys, Wyatt Jack and Luke Colton. At the time, my husband and I owned a small grocery store. We worked opposite
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shifts so that the kids didn’t have to go to day care. We worked hard to provide for our kids, and I loved being a mom. But between working full-time and raising four very young children, I forgot who I was. I lost myself. I needed a place to escape, just for a little. When Luke was 2, I decided to join a basketball league. I had played basketball in high school and was happy to have a familiar outlet. That one hour a week let me be me. I made a wonderful group of mom friends, and we soon realized that playing ladies in their early 20s was tough!
HARD CHANGES
But at home my husband and I were growing apart. Fifteen years after we had married, we divorced and filed for bankruptcy. Part of me felt free, and the other part of me was scared out of my mind. It wasn’t easy finding a new norm. For about six months following the divorce, my ex and I lived together in the same house. We couldn’t afford our own housing, and sharing a house was just what
we had to do for a while. We made it work. We continued working opposite shifts to provide a sense of normalcy for our kids. My ex worked 8 to 5 for a local business, and I worked weekends for a triathlon racing company. I had experience in racing as I was a marathon runner, so it was a great fit.
A FRESH FOOTING As I was able to afford it, I began searching for a place of my own. I remembered a house on Long Lake that I had cleaned for several summers. I knew it sat empty in the winter and decided to contact the owner. When he said that all I had to do was pay the utilities, I knew I could swing it! It was meant to be. Like the freeing place I had found with my mom basketball group, I was slowly starting to feel like me. More often I felt at peace with who I was and was excited for the future.
WORK FAMILY The race company I worked for became my second family. Everyone looked out for
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one another and enjoyed being together. In 2012, I was heartbroken to learn that one of my co-workers had been in an awful car accident which killed his wife, and now he was raising their three daughters on his own. I reached out to Tony and we began talking single parent to single parent. On New Year’s Eve 2012, we went on our first date. Tony and I got married in 2013 and haven’t looked back since.
BLENDED BALANCE Blending families is always a work in progress. Tony and I have four teenage girls and two pre-teen boys, plus a 6-year-old daughter. Last summer, we also added a fourlegged fur ball—a 115-lb Newfoundland—to the family. To say our house is a constant chaotic mess is an understatement. Finding a balance among work, the kids, pets and church is a constant struggle. Five kids are in sports; another is working; and my husband works full-time. I have my own professional goals, trying to grow my business, TRI AGAIN FITNESS, where I coach and train endurance athletes.
I love watching people better themselves and accomplish things they didn’t think they could do! I truly love what I do. I also work part-time at a bike shop and coach high school track and field. Finding that “me” time is important. I think it is for all moms, whether it’s time spent shooting hoops with a basketball league or taking a walk through the neighborhood. I have completed three Ironman races, which have been both rewarding and challenging (much like being a mother and stepmom). I am also fortunate that my training for these races goes together with my job.
No Job Too Tough Being a mom is by far the toughest job. Although I make mistakes, I always have my children’s best interests at heart. I don’t want to be my kids’ best friend; I am their parent. I don’t want to replace my stepdaughters’ mom—I want to be there for them. Setting boundaries is never easy, but I am there to pick them up when they fall, and I encourage them when they are going in the right direction. At this point in time, they depend
on me, but before I know it, they’ll be leaving the nest. I hear mothers comment often on how they wish they could keep their kids little forever. But I love watching my children grow into their own. I want all my kids to see that everything I do is to help them better themselves. I want them to know that you can be a successful wife, mom and businesswoman. I want my sons to know how to treat a lady, and I want my daughters to know how they should expect to be treated. Finding the balance with my children, both my own and step, can be tough. But I’ve learned that if I start each day with a new outlook and a smile, I can conquer the day. Being a mother to my big family is worth every twist and turn, and I love every minute. And I love our big fur ball, too.
Rebecca Venticinque is the owner of TRI AGAIN FITNESS in Traverse City. If you’d like to learn more about her business, email her at rebeccaventicinque@gmail.com.
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ORCHESTRATED GRACE PHOTOGRAPHY
Grand Traverse Woman
ROSE WITH HER HUSBAND, MARK, AND THEIR CHILDREN, MAYA, 8, AND NICO, 5.
MOM
AND
TEACHER:
How I Brought the Classroom Home BY ROSE MARIE ZIVKOVICH BEING A PARENT is a humbling experience. It’s one thing to make life-changing decisions for yourself—the responsibility of providing the best life possible for your children is extraordinary. For my husband, Mark, and me, this started before our children were even born. The amount of research we did was astounding. Where should we live? Should I work? Should we consider a home-birth or a midwife? How many kids should we have? We decided our stance on vaccinations, cloth diapering, breastfeeding, what kinds of foods we should eat, and more. We now have two happy, healthy children— our daughter Maya, 8, and our son, Nico, 5. And once we figured out how to keep them alive and well, it was time to consider another fundamental topic: Education.
WAS PRESCHOOL THE ANSWER? I remember the day like it was yesterday. I was struggling with the decision to send Maya, 4 years old at the time, to preschool. I liked the idea of introducing her to school early so that she would be well-prepared for kindergarten, but I hated the idea of letting her go. I enjoyed spending time with her. I enjoyed watching her learn. I loved our flexible schedule and our seemingly unlimited time to explore the world together. Was preschool necessary? The question loomed over me.
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My answer came through a new friend. One afternoon, as our kids hung out together on a beach, my views on education shifted. My friend had been home schooling her children for years and she just raved about the experience. Her kids were well-rounded, intelligent and just cool people. Maybe this was the answer to my preschool dilemma. I’m going to be perfectly honest here. Before that afternoon, I had no idea what it meant to home-school a child. I thought: Is this even legal? Guess what? It is totally legal and available to anyone. In fact, many people in our great state of Michigan choose this option. That night, Mark and I had a very important, unexpectedly easy conversation. We discussed that home schooling would allow us to choose how, when, where and with whom our children would learn. He was in right away. His only concern was that I felt comfortable taking on such a huge commitment. For me, it was about time. The kids were my life then, but there would be a day when their needs would change and my presence would shift, too. I wanted and needed to make the most of it while I could.
OUR HOME-SCHOOL LIFE The longer we home-school, the more benefits we realize. It’s been amazing. I get to follow my
children’s individual learning styles and passions, and I decide our day-to-day schedule based on attitudes, weather, scheduled activities and more. I could go on and on about what we do! Our days vary, but I encourage creative free play whenever possible. Wherever that leads them is cool with me. We play board games, do a lot of reading, play outside, play with friends, volunteer monthly serving the homeless, visit our elderly neighbors, and spend time with both sets of grandparents. We also participate in a lot of community events, from the library, our church, museums and more. The kids take drum lessons and I am the leader of our home-school Girl Scout troop. The kids also take tennis lessons and stay active in other sports like hockey, t-ball and ice-skating. Maya also does ballet. Our home-school group takes a lot of field trips and weekly meet-ups. We stay busy and try to mix things up! Just as I had hoped, I get to be with my children. Every day. Exploring together, learning together and just plain enjoying life together. My focus is making sure that my children love learning, know how to be good people, and achieve what they want in life.
THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS Although we were home schooling, I realized
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that I still wanted my children to learn with others as well. But it was also important to have a choice in what type of classes they would take (in addition to their home schooling), who would be teaching the classes, how often the classes would meet, who would be their classmates, and what type of environment they would be learning in. When Maya turned 6, an opportunity arose. In the fall of 2016, TCAPS (Traverse City Area Public Schools) administrators requested help from our home-school community. Although there’s no official association, many of us are part of a Facebook group called “Home Schooling in Northern Michigan.” It’s the best way for us to communicate and keep in touch. TCAPS was developing a shared-time program that would be mutually beneficial for both TCAPS and home-school programming. In these financially challenging times, TCAPS is embracing the idea of providing education to all students, any time, any place. Our students boost their enrollment numbers and provide funding to TCAPS. In return, we gain a program that provides free classes to our students in the way that best fits our educational style and preference. It was the perfect fit. With a background in business management, marketing and my vested interest, I jumped right in as the director of the partnership.
A PERFECT PARTNERSHIP The Northern Michigan Partnership began in February of 2017, funded through a state waiver. It offers free, elective classes (art, music, foreign languages, physical education, robotics, strategic thinking, etc.) to all students, K-12, living in the five-county area of the Traverse Bay Area Intermediate School District (TBAISD) and any contiguous ISD. Students get to select their classes each semester (following the TCAPS schedule) from certified teachers and community experts. All classes are virtual, so kids can study on their own during the week, when they want and where they want. There is also an optional in-person class on Wednesdays at Interlochen Community School. We currently serve 175 students in Northern Michigan. On average, there are between 6 and 20 kids in a given class. Classes are broken down by grade level: K-1, 2-5, 6-12. When necessary, we may blend grades. Kids can take up to four classes and they help in determining what classes will be taught each semester. Each family selects their schedule, truly offering each student a class schedule that is ideal for them!
260 E. TENTH ST | TC | 231.947.0191 | ORYANA.COOP
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FULL STEAM AHEAD Through this program, we have given families more choices and opportunities to extend their children’s education while developing an amazing community of like-minded individuals. We have felt so blessed with what this life has offered us. Maya is 8 and Nico will be turning 6 this summer. I look forward to seeing them graduate one day from the Partnership. Until then, I look forward to many more years of learning right alongside my children as a mom, a teacher and a friend.
Rose Marie Zivkovich is the director of the Northern Michigan Partnership and a home-school mother of two from Williamsburg. You can learn more about NMP online at www.tcaps.net/programs/northernmichiganpartnership.
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Love
DATE: Nov 9-11, 2018 (Fri-Sun)
is in the Air!
HOTEL: Two nights lodging at Courtyard
by Mariott, in downtown Chicago a block off The Magnificent Mile!
TRANSPORTATION: Wine, Games, Shenanigans on Motor Coach
COST: Quad $395 ea / Triple $449 ea / Double $495 ea
FRIDAY NIGHT SHOW:
HELLO, DOLLY!
Tony Award-winning Broadway legend Betty Buckley stars in HELLO, DOLLY! – the universally acclaimed smash that NPR calls “the best show of the year!” Winner of four Tony Awards including Best Musical Revival, director Jerry Zaks’ “gorgeous” new production (Vogue) is “making people crazy happy!” (The Washington Post). Breaking box office records week after week and receiving thunderous raves on Broadway, this HELLO, DOLLY! pays tribute to the original work of legendary director/choreographer Gower Champion – hailed both then and now as one of the greatest stagings in musical theater history. Rolling Stone calls it “a must-see event. A musical comedy dream. If you’re lucky enough to score a ticket, you’ll be seeing something historic. Wow, wow, wow, indeed!”
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2018
Grand Traverse Woman LUNCHEONS
Happy M o t h e r’s
MEALS FROM THE MITTEN
Gina Ferwerda Wednesday, May 23rd 11am-1pm
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Body Wrap with Facial $75 through June 2018! TC Studio 1126 E. 8th Street, Traverse City Call 231.715.1069 tcstudiospace@gmail.com
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A Whole New Life Kyle Zemsta was so impressed by his wife’s weight loss results one year after surgery, he decided to have the procedure, too. Now they both have much more energy, stamina, and enjoy outdoor activities together. “It’s been absolutely wonderful,” Katie said. “I’ve lost 120 pounds. My health is excellent and my sleep apnea is gone. My new addiction is shopping. I can’t find anything I can’t fit into.” - Katie Zemsta, 36 and Kyle Zemsta, 34
“Katie and Kyle have had great success. Doing all of the followup steps and having the full support of a spouse really helps achieve and maintain long-term good health. It’s been very rewarding to watch the Zemstas become healthy and active.” - Steven E. Slikkers, MD Grand Traverse Surgery PC
Bariatric procedures are not for everyone. People qualify for weight loss surgery only if it is the best choice for their health and they demonstrate the required commitment, motivation, education, and medical history. Munson Medical Center’s nationally accredited program provides long-term support and thorough follow-up care. To learn more, join us for a free, informational seminar.
Bariatric Surgery Seminars Tuesday, May 15 | 6 - 8 pm Traverse City: Munson Medical Center Conference Room 1-3, Lower Level Via Video Conference at the following Munson Healthcare locations: Cadillac, Charlevoix, Grayling, Manistee. Otsego Memorial Hospital in Gaylord
Tuesday, June 12 | 6 - 8 pm Traverse City: Munson Medical Center; also available via video conference in Cadillac, Charlevoix, Gaylord, Grayling, and Manistee
To learn more or to register for an upcoming seminar, call 800-533-5520, or visit munsonhealthcare.org/bariatrics.
Blue Distinction Centers (BDC) met overall quality measures for patient safety and outcomes, developed with input from the medical community. A Local Blue Plan may require additional criteria for providers located in its own service area; for details, contact your Local Blue Plan. Blue Distinction Centers+ (BDC+) also met cost measures that address consumers’ need for affordable healthcare. Each provider’s cost of care is evaluated using data from its Local Blue Plan. Providers in CA, ID, NY, PA, and WA may lie in two Local Blue Plans’ areas, resulting in two evaluations for cost of care; and their own Local Blue Plans decide whether one or both cost of care evaluation(s) must meet BDC+ national criteria. National criteria for BDC and BDC+ are displayed on www.bcbs.com. Individual outcomes may vary. For details on a provider’s in network status or your own policy’s coverage, contact your Local Blue Plan and ask your provider before making an appointment. Neither Blue Cross and Blue Shield Association nor any Blue Plans are responsible for non-covered charges or other losses or damages resulting from Blue Distinction or other provider finder information or care received from Blue Distinction or other providers.
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Love Welcomes All. Early Service in the Chapel at 8:15 am Upbeat & Casual Service at 9 am Traditional Service with Organ & Choir at 11 am
Every Sunday Morning
Church in the Park starts June 17, 9 am in Sunset Park, downtown TC tccentralumc.org 222 S. Cass Street Traverse City, MI 49684 231-946-5191 exploring faith & spirituality through worship
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WOMAN
JULY/AUG '18 • EDUCATION ISSUE
THE POWER OF EDUCATION
Issue hits newsstands in time for Cherry Festival!
GTWoman July/Aug Education & Summer issue is up next! We will cover educational topics such as continuing ed, the college-track, vocational training, school-age and more! And enjoy all of our regular topics of inspiration, business, health and more!
Email us today to reach 10,000 women in the 5-county area!
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Scarlett Piedmonte, Photographer (231) 357-1123 | www.photobyscarlett.com
REINVENTION
Becoming a mother and wife at 41 BY JENIFER WITT
REINVENTIONS of ourselves tend to go two ways: the phoenix, rising from a pile of ashes, or the butterfly, emerging as a more beautiful version. I’ve lived the former, but this is the story of the butterfly, cocooning myself as a workaholic singleton, then reinventing myself as a wife and mother at age 41. Many times, women over 40 reinvent themselves after a divorce or once their children have grown up. Not this girl. I spent my young adulthood working on my education, racking up college degrees and trying to find the perfect teaching job. I was so focused on my doctoral studies and my job that I didn’t even noticing the ticking of my biological clock. I sometimes wondered if I was missing something in my life. You’re supposed to want to get married and have babies, right? Most of my friends had children and I adored them, but I wasn’t sure that was what I wanted until I had the right partner.
BIRTH OF A NEW DESIRE In the spring of 2015, I crossed the stage with my doctorate in education. I was excited and exhausted, and I felt terrible that spring day. Little did I know that I was pregnant, which sadly resulted in a miscarriage. My soon-to-be husband and I were devastated. It was that sad event, however, that made me realize that I needed to become a mother. We needed to become a family. While most of the people I took classes with were fanning out across the country to find important jobs for which they were newly qualified, I took a job as a teacher in the public-school system, knowing that the schedule would jive with the plans that I was putting into place.
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Now Booking GRADUATES
McLain
Grand Traverse Woman
I wanted domestic bliss with David, the amazing and supportive man who stood by me as I took seemingly endless classes and wrote my dissertation. We married in August 2016, and hoped for a baby. In November, our hopes of growing our family were again raised. I wondered, at first, why I was handling the myriad changes with little anxiety, which is not characteristic of me. Historically, I don’t do well with change. Then, I realized that I wasn’t giving up anything that I was going to be sad about. My wild years were safely behind me. Ok, they weren't particularly wild, but I had my share of fun. I'd gone to clubs, and danced all night. I took spontaneous road trips with my girlfriends, and spring breaks to warm places. I'd traveled to Europe many times, eating, seeing, experiencing the culture. I had enjoyed my youth and young adulthood. I didn’t have anything left to do before I had a child. I could begin my life of domestic bliss and not worry that I was missing out on something.
NOT TOO OLD TO CHANGE Although I felt young and vibrant, the doctors saw a huge, neon “at risk” sign flashing above me. At each appointment, I was reminded about my advanced maternal age and the risk factors that come with having a baby later in life (their words, not mine). I began to feel that it would be a miracle if I delivered a healthy baby. Each time I was in the doctor’s office, sitting in the waiting room, I felt like the other expectant mothers knew that I was (gasp!) 41. Would my son feel badly in school because most of the other kids’ moms would be younger? Even now, when I encounter people that I’ve known for years and they fawn over my beautiful son, I say that I was late to the party, making a joke of my age. They always chime in with a tale of someone they know who had a baby over 40. There was a time, not all that long ago, when I never would have imagined myself living the life I am. If I'm being honest with myself, I would have said that the life I’m living now wouldn't make me happy. In fact, the feminist in me didn’t want to be in this position—I had worked too hard to end up in this position. I was an independent, professional, and accomplished woman, after all. But that is what makes being a 21st century woman so wonderful. I could choose to change my life at 41 and become an even better version of myself. My new role as mother has me worrying about someone else, really, for the first time in my life.
HAPPILY REINVENTED In all the scenarios that I dreamed for myself, I never imagined being a stay-at-home mom. There will come a time when I will go back to work, and I’ll have to reinvent my professional self yet again. But, for now, I sit with spit-up on my shirt, bags under my eyes and a paunchy belly, watching my precious 5-month-old son sleep. I will spend the rest of the day changing diapers and kissing soft, chubby cheeks until it’s time to go to bed and do it all over again. I am happier and more grateful than I’ve ever been. I’ve reinvented myself and emerged as a woman that I barely recognize, yet I would know myself anywhere. Jenifer Witt lives in Traverse City with her husband, David, and their son David Barry.
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In partnership with
The Little Fleet and
NoRTe! YoUTh CYCLIN
3 AREA LOCATIONS 2786 Garfield Rd. N, Traverse City 750 E. 8th St, Traverse City 311 N Mitchell, Cadillac
McLain Cycle,
g presents
TC Rides Bring your happy face. TC Rides is a community bike ride where we pedal together, get some exercise, ring our bells, and have FUN. We will use the power of the bicycle to build community, meet new neighbors, and create awareness for the growing presence of people on bikes in Traverse City.
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TO YOU
BY
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D.D.S., Dr.
Merrithew
cycle & fitness y
Dentistr
D.D.S. &
Dr. L. Beers,
D.D.S.
And your bell.
Beginning May 7th and going each Wednesday evening through the summer. Meet at 5:45. Rolling at 6.
The ride starts at McLain Cycle on 8th and finishes at The Little Fleet for beverages and Food Truck eats.
expect a short, slow, 3 mile loop on neighborho and trails. Norte! od streets TC volunteers will lead. everyone welcome. We will ride safe. We will have fun.
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AN WOM
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logos • ads • posters • brochures • business cards • invitations • magazine/book layout
Dan O’Neil for STATE REPRESENTATIVE
Vote for Dan O’Neil! • Candidate for State Representative for the 104th District / Grand Traverse County • Born and raised in Traverse City • Small business owner and attorney fighting for the rights of working people • 10–year Traverse City Planning Commission Member • Raised their three children in Traverse City
Vote Vote Dan Dan O’Neil O’Neil for for State State Representative Representative www.voteoneil.com www.voteoneil.com Paid for by Friends of Dan O’Neil PO Box 954 Traverse City, MI 49685
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Grand Traverse Woman
BY LEAH SHEPLER
AS A FOSTER-CASE MANAGER
at Bethany Christian Services, I saw and experienced a lot of things that have impacted my life. Rejection, failure and hopelessness. Inner turmoil. Negative mindsets. Crippling fear. During my time there, I had to choose whether those experiences would impact my life for better or for worse. I wanted it to better it, and I wanted to help others.
REALIZING YOUR IMPACT One way I was able to help others was when I spoke to a woman who was being controlled, manipulated and taken advantage of by her boyfriend. I saw her boyfriend’s behavior in every interaction I had with this couple. I heard it in the way he spoke to her—he would tell her what to do, when to do it, what to say if she was going to speak, and he would tell others what he wanted them to know about her. Though this woman had limited cognitive ability, significant mental health needs and a lengthy trauma history, I saw the potential and strength in her. She was determined, smart, kind and creative. She didn't need her boyfriend. Unfortunately, due to a lifetime of men taking advantage of her and telling her who she
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was and what she was worth, at first, she could only hear those lies. I was able to meet with her weekly to speak truth into her life, to speak of her potential and how strong and capable she could be. I repeatedly reminded her of her abilities. It was amazing watching this woman begin to change her posture during court, increase her confidence while parenting her daughter, and find her voice as she defended and represented herself.
THE REAL NEED It was through this relationship that I realized how life-giving it was to empower women. I was soon addicted to encouraging people, reminding them who they are, and helping them see all the greatness that is within them! As I continued working with these beautiful people, I began to understand that the things I had been trying to provide for them were not what they truly needed. For the most part, they didn’t need money, a house, a job, a car or even food. I came to realize that the people I encountered really needed someone to believe in them. They needed a mother, a father, a mentor, a friend. They needed someone to look at them and see them for who they truly were, not who
they believed they were, and not who they had been told they were. Their mistakes did not have to define them. They needed to be loved, have a purpose and see that they were worthy of greatness. As I worked with people in our community who needed to be reinforced, built up and supported, I knew it was going to take more than I and my 50-hours-a-week job to help them. I began to dream of creating a thriving community and healthy families. To have healthy families, however, the individuals needed to be healthy.
A NEW MISSION When I began my journey at as a fostercare case manager, I was fresh out of college, newly married and ready to work hard for a few years before becoming June Cleaver, who I thought was the ideal of the perfect homemaker and mother. After my experiences, however, I needed a plan that would help me reach that next level in my life. The new mission of my life came down to impact: how could I use my life to love, serve and make a difference? I began to write down specific goals. Who I wanted to become, where
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A NEW PATH I am amazed at the direction my life has turned. I am no longer a foster care case manager at Bethany Christian Services. I have been given the opportunity to be a lifestyle entrepreneur. I have a heart to see people thrive in every area of their lives, so I now help them develop a healthy mind and body in order to live life to their fullest. Throughout all of this, I have unexpectedly gained so much more than I have ever given. I have never been more alive, full of passion or confident in who I am. No matter who you are, what calling or passion you have, or the amount you can contribute, you all have something you can give that will make a big impact in our community!
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4. Maintain your "why," as it is vital to remember why you do what you do, because without purpose you can't keep going. 5. Keep healthy habits in your life and focus on making sure you are healthy in spirit, soul and body because if you are not at your best self, you can't help others.
Holly Donaldson, D.C. 231.929.1335
2. Change your mindset and remove self-limiting beliefs that keep you from reaching your potential. 3. Surround yourself with people and activities that support your goals.
www.grandtraversewoman.com
WHEN YOUR IMAGE IS ONSTAGE, MAKE SURE THE DELIVERY IS THE BEST IT CAN BE!
Holly Donaldson, D. C. I offer Chiropractic adjustments that improve neck, back and hip pain, sports injuries, headaches, tech neck and more. Chiropractic care has been shown to help improve health such as flexibility, reduction of pain, and increased mobility. I love bringing health back to my patients. When I’m not at the office, I’m trail running or skiing with my family and dogs!
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Leah Shepler is a lifestyle entrepreneur and a real estate agent at Krause Realty Solutions. She is passionate about giving, which has led her to organize Grateful Givers, a local group of people who have big hearts for service and contribution. She has also stayed involved at Bethany Christian Services as a volunteer. To learn more about how to get involved in helping your community, contact her at leahmshepler@gmail.com.
I have learned that I cannot help others if I don’t also take care of myself. Here are the ways I have learned to keep myself mentally at my best:
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May/June '18 31
e
Grand Traverse Woman
meet the ALL PHOTOS BY SARAH BROWN PHOTOGRAPHY
THEY DID IT! THEY COMPLETED THE EIGHT-WEEK CHALLENGE AND WILL NEVER BE THE SAME. WE CAUGHT UP WITH THE THREE AMAZING GTWOMAN JANES FOR AN EMOTIONAL RECAP OF THEIR EXPERIENCE. READ WHAT THEY HAVE TO SAY AND HEAR FROM THE SPONSORS THAT MAKEOVER HELPED MAKE THE MAGIC HAPPEN!
Grand Traverse
WOMAN
See Jane Lose
LET’S HEAR FROM THE AMAZING FIT FOR YOU TRAINERS, See VERN AND JON, WHO GOT THE JANES SWEATING AND SUCCEEDING!
Jane Lose
VERN GAUTHIER PERSONAL TRAINER
JON NICKELS PERSONAL TRAINER
See Jane Lose has been an incredible tool for encouraging a healthy and fit lifestyle. This weight loss challenge helps remind the strong women of our area to take time for themselves, whether they’ve been a Jane or they’ve been inspired by one. I love that my role at Fit For You allows me to be a part of our Janes’ journey, and this year did not disappoint! KATHY When I first met Kathy, she quickly proved that she was not going to let any element hold her back—even a fall on the ice. From the very first exercise she completed, I knew she would give me every bit of effort that she could. And boy, did she ever!!! Kathy had a desire to learn, and she understood that the eight-week challenge was just a springboard to continue her health and fitness journey. During her workouts, she gave her best effort. She asked for the reasoning behind each exercise. As a trainer, this piqued my interest and solidified the fact that Kathy was not just here to lose weight—she was here to transform her lifestyle. KATHERINE From my first interaction with Katherine, I knew that she was exceptional. She is a teacher; my mother was also an educator. Immediately, I knew what kind of person Katherine was: smart, driven and kind. Katherine has a running background, so she knows what it takes to be an athlete. Through the program, we introduced tools to help her lead a more well-rounded healthy lifestyle, including nutrition. Katherine’s tenacity was contagious, and she always gave 110 percent at every workout. I have no doubt that Katherine will continue on her path of health and fitness, and that she will share what she’s learned with the rest of her family, too. I was honored to work with her! KERRI Kerri was terrific. The effort she put in was impressive. Through focus and hard work, she did not miss a step—even with a pause in the midst of the challenge for her family’s spring break vacation! Kerri was more than willing to try any exercise that was on her workout plan, and she never gave up. She did a fine job of showing that she was invested in this program and truly gave it her all. And, in the end, she achieved a sizable weight loss! We are so proud of everything that Kathy, Katherine and Kerri have achieved. My hope is that they keep themselves in the gym to stay strong, fit and healthy. Never look back, ladies! You can do anything. BY JON NICKELS Visit www.fitforyou.info for more information on programs and future 8-week challenges.
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Grand Traverse Woman
Kathy Rogols, 60 What has changed? My energy level is amazing! I feel great and attribute that to healthy eating and the weight loss too. I’m sleeping much better as well. What was the biggest challenge? Fear of not being successful and letting the program (and myself) down. At the start of the program, I fell on the ice at home and injured my tailbone. With each session, I could feel the injury improving until I became pain free! What have you learned? How important nutrition is and to eat more often. I’ve also learned how much more I enjoy working out with others. What are you most proud of? My dedication and determination.
WAS
166.2 LBS
NOW
140.2 LBS
HEIGHT 5'6"
LOST POUNDS 26 LBS
LOST INCHES
What was your motivation through this experience? Improving my health was a priority, and my family and friends were very supportive. In addition, I was delighted by the support and motivation from so many people at Fit For You. Doing weigh-ins on Saturdays pushed me, too! What’s next? Continuing my fitness and health journey at Fit For You, as well as maintaining good nutritional choices. I’m looking forward to running/walking in my first 5k at the National Trout Festival in Kalkaska!
26 LBS
Lost
26.5
THE START
top tips • It’s never too late to live healthy, but start today. • Be honest with yourself. Tracking and measuring your food on a daily basis works! Tracking food has definitely made me aware of how much more I had been taking in.
www.grandtraversewoman.com
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Grand Traverse Woman
Katherine Brege, 43 What has changed? The biggest change has been my diet. I eat less, am healthier overall with my choices, and I avoid snacking. Now, I’m also focused on consuming 100 oz. of water daily and getting in some sort of heart-elevated exercise, whether it’s for 10 minutes or 60! What was the biggest challenge? My biggest challenge was eating dinner prior to 6 p.m. This was a real struggle due to busy schedules! Eating earlier had to become a priority. What have you learned? I’ve learned a lot about nutrition and water intake, and I’ve gained an overall awareness of what I put into my body. I’ve learned that I can still go out and enjoy myself, but now I have limits and a knowledge of healthy food and activities. What are you most proud of? I’m most proud of my overall weight loss. I want to continue losing and building muscle. I’ll be running the Bayshore half marathon at the end of May without stress! Being able to get back into running has really set me on the right track for success.
WAS
165 LBS
NOW
136.8 LBS
HEIGHT 5'4"
What’s next? Next, I will continue with training sessions at the wonderful Fit For You gym. I’ll also be running all over Traverse City training for the half marathon (and then the next race, and the next). I will continue the diet in many ways, just not as extreme. I’ll be working on more weight loss, overall better health and building muscle!
28.2 LBS
Lost
LOST POUNDS 28.2 LBS
LOST INCHES 27
top tips • Find a buddy. Doing cardio, meal planning, working out and more are so much more fun with a buddy. A buddy can also hold you accountable, give encouragement, lend an ear, and make you laugh, too. Doing those things for someone else will help you stick to your plan!
THE START
• Eat small amounts of food often. We would eat around 225 calories every 2.5 to 3 hours. I never felt like I was starving with this routine. This has also helped me to forget about unhealthy snacking!
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Grand Traverse Woman
Kerri Collier, 37 What has changed? I feel so light! Before, I honestly didn’t notice how bloated and “heavy” I felt when I wasn’t eating right. There is such a difference now that all that bloat is GONE. It feels amazing to actually “feel” healthier! What was the biggest challenge? Getting up early to work out and meal prepping were the biggest challenges in my already maxed-out schedule. I got my workouts done first thing in the morning (5:30-6:30 a.m.), so I couldn’t have any conflicts come up later and bail. This way I didn’t dread it all day either! Also, I’d actually forget that I had already done a workout that day if I completed it in the morning! What have you learned? How to hydrate. I’ve never been a thirsty person, so conditioning myself to drink 80-100 oz. of water was very difficult for the first few weeks. But once I got into the habit of having my hot tea and water bottle with me all day, it got easier.
WAS
166.8 LBS
NOW
149.2 LBS
HEIGHT 5'4"
LOST POUNDS 17.6 LBS
LOST INCHES 18.5
What are you most proud of? Being able to get through it all. After the first couple of tough workouts, my body was sore and I was completely out of breath. It felt like I couldn’t make it through as I told myself, “You’re gonna die.” But then, it DID get better. Once I felt my body turn around as it became stronger, my inner dialogue started to change. Now, I tell myself, ”Hey Kerri, you CAN do it! You survived… now keep going!”
17.6 LBS
Lost
What was your motivation through this experience? Not to sound too shallow… I wanted to look good! I was tired of my low self-confidence. I hated to try on clothes and I wanted to fit into my favorite jeans again. I really wanted to feel confident in myself again. Also, my daughter is a very active runner, and it has been a sore spot for me that I “can’t” run with her. Now, I’m on my way to changing that! What’s next? Staying active, watching my portion sizes (I tend to keep eating if something tastes good), and paying close attention to my sugar intake. I’m going to keep at it and feed off of the momentum that I’ve picked up from this awesome program. I’ve got a goal of losing another 15 lbs. before the end of summer!
top tips • Don’t dread it, forget it! Get those workouts done and out of the way first thing. Yes, you’ll have to sacrifice staying up late to finish that Netflix series if you’re going to get up at 5 in the morning, but it’s worth it!
THE START
• Hydrate, Hydrate, Hydrate. Having more water in your system helps curb those cravings, combat bloat, quench your skin, and so much more. So, drink up… water, not wine! LOL!
www.grandtraversewoman.com
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Grand Traverse Woman
The Reveal!
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The Jane Reveal was held at GTWoman’s April 11th luncheon. The event featured keynote speaker Lisa Taylor, executive director of the TC Track Club as well as hearing from our 3 Janes and our Jane sponsors. We had a full house of 170 men and women. One of our Janes even wrote a poem to share! Thank you to all who came to celebrate!
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Grand Traverse Woman
The Hair! Salon Moxie had another great year helping with the Jane makeovers. Amanda Rhine, owner of Salon Moxie, and her crew enjoyed getting to know the ladies throughout the makeover process. Here’s the fun they had: We enhanced Kathy's fun look with dimensional highlights and a spunky new cut. We also created a dimensional look on Katherine but went with an auburn color that complemented her natural tones. We also freshened up her haircut. Kerri already had a beautiful natural color, but she needed a little hair therapy. We gave her a deep conditioning treatment along with a fresh trim. Once the big reveal day arrived, we completed the makeovers with a shampoo and style and full makeup application. We wanted to enhance their look while still making them feel like themselves. They looked fabulous and you could tell they felt it too! Salon Moxie is an organic-based salon located on Eighth Street in downtown Traverse City. We have a passion for what we do, and we specialize in many different services. We were delighted to offer the Janes our creativity!
The Eyewear It was a pleasure for the GTOC Optical Department to fit these three beautiful ladies in fun and fashionable eyewear. Kerri wanted a pair of prescription sunglasses, so we styled her in a lovely Maui Jim called the “Nalani.” The tortoise color has accents of blue and white on the temples. The lenses are HCL bronze, which give the best protection against glare and harmful ultraviolet rays. For Katherine, we fit her in a non-prescription Maui Jim sunglass. It is one of Maui’s famous classic aviators, the “Cliff House.” The lenses are polarized gray, which offers the highest available light reduction for the richest colors and sharpest contrast. Kathy was fit with a very chic Kate Spade called “Topanga.” The color, Havana rose, complements her complexion. Her lenses are a customized progressive to give her the best in clarity and visual performance. We hope the ladies had a great experience deciding on their new eyewear. It has been an honor to be a part of their journey!
The Skincare Kathy came to see us at GTOC Aesthetics. Kimberly Hope, R.N., met with Kathy and asked her what her top three skin facial concerns were. Kathy shared that she didn't like the (1) brown spots on her face from years of sun exposure, (2) the wrinkles between her brows and (3) the wrinkles around her mouth from sun damage, aging and weight loss. To address her concerns, Kathy first underwent an intense pulse light (IPL) treatment, which targets brown spots, red spider veins and stimulates collagen for a smoother appearance. She was then given two syringes of Restylane Lyft filler in her marionette lines to prevent the corners of her mouth from turning down. It also filled in some of the volume loss. Kathy also received Restylane Silk filler in her upper lip to smooth out the appearance of fine lines. Lastly, she had Dysport (like Botox) to smooth out the area between her brows and soften the appearance of her crow’s feet. It was a pleasure to help Kathy look as good on the outside as she feels on the inside. GTOC Aesthetics Department congratulates the Janes on a job well done! For more information, visit www.gtoc.net.
www.grandtraversewoman.com
For more information on Salon Moxie visit www.salonmoxietc.com.
531 East Eighth Street, Traverse City, MI 49686 231-486-6000
At Your Service Cleaning tidied up the Jane’s home turf
Keep reading to learn why owner Melissa Smith got involved in the effort… At Your Service Cleaning loved having the opportunity to help the Janes by providing a free house cleaning because we know exactly what it is like to be a woman in these busy times. As women ourselves, we know that many of us give too much and do not elect to provide time for ourselves. And we know it is hard to juggle personal needs and desires against what the rest of the world expects from us! We were proud to sponsor these simply exceptional women who had the guts and courage to accept the challenge. By our cleaning their homes, these three women could take the essential time they needed for themselves. It is truly the wish of those around them, who care about them, that they stay healthy and happy. These Janes are role models to their children and muses to their husbands. They are someone’s daughter, the apple of their eye, and ought to be loved and pampered. In addition, as a woman business owner, I’m proud to run a company that is made powerful by the strength of each and every one of “my girls.” I am inspired by all of my employees. I am also grateful to the women in my past who served as role models—those who embodied everything I wanted to be—who helped me to see what my goals were. That’s why I want to help other women see how resilient and amazing they really are. And it can all start with something as simple as a clean house! For more information, visit www.aysupnorth.com.
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Grand Traverse Woman
Grand Traverse
coming in at no. 73. Luce achieved the status of CENTURION Honor Society New Inductees. Luce also earned the Quality Service Award. 231.929.7900, www.c21northland.com
WOMAN IN BUSINESS
NEW
From the mitten to the kitchen is the culinary philosophy behind television personality Gina Ferwerda’s debut cookbook, Meals From the Mitten: Celebrating the Seasons of Michigan. The 208-page book (Story Farm, $35) shares Ferwerda’s favorite recipes while showcasing the freshest seasonal Michigan ingredients. Ferwerda will be GTWoman’s May 23rd Luncheon Speaker at the Hagerty Center. Her talk will be “Boating & Burgers” and feature a burger bar demo! There will also be 25-30 vendors for pre-lunch mingling. Visit www.grandtraversewoman.com for tickets or booth information. Visit www.nomnews.com for more about Ferwerda. State Savings Bank a n n o u n c e d that Jackie Duncan has joined the bank as a Mortgage Originator. Duncan brings more than 12 years of technical sales and account management experience to her new position. A Traverse City resident, she holds a B.A. in Business Administration from Northwood University and is a member of Women’s Council of Realtors, Rotary Club of Traverse City, Traverse City New Tech, and serves as Board Chair for Disability Network. Duncan is based at the State Savings Bank Loan Center, 416 E. Front Street, Traverse City. 231.668.2801, jduncan@ ssbankmi.com, www.ssbankmi.com Century 21 Northland real estate announces two new agents. Shannon Jensen, who spent childhood summers on Old Mission Peninsula, is a Ferris State University graduate and mother
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of four who enjoys coaching, competing in or volunteering at sporting events. 231.499.6893, shannon.jensen@ c21northland.com. Lifelong Michigan resident, Robin Vanderkaay, is passionate about making her clients’ experience successful and enjoyable. 248.321.2409, robinvk@c21northland.com Roseanna M. David, O.D., has joined Grand Traverse Ophthalmology Clinic in Traverse City. David’s clinical experience includes advanced training in the diagnosis and treatment of ocular disease, pre- and post-operative examination and care of laser-visioncorrected patients. She received her medical degree from the Michigan College of Optometry in Big Rapids and her B.S. degree from Aquinas College in Grand Rapids. 231.947.6246, www.gtoc.net TBA Credit Union has announced new positions for two team members. Chelsea Fall takes a new role as a member service specialist in TBACU’s Service Center. Shannon Eddy will fill the same position at the Front Street location. 231.946.7090, www.tbacu.com TART Trails announces recent shifts within its board of directors. Linda Cline will be treasurer, Chris Gallagher has stepped up to be vice president and Susan Vigland is the new board president. During her term, Vigland looks forward to completing a 30-year community vision, the Boardman Lake loop, connecting communities through trails and providing safe alternative transportation options. 231.941.4300, https://traversetrails.org/board/
Co-owners Stephanie Maguire and Emily Henning Woods, both of whom have award-winning wedding businesses, have stepped out to open their own salon, Mi Salon. Mi Salon’s artists will assist guests with all their hair, makeup and hair-removal needs. Select artists are also trained in facial threading and airbrush makeup. 1128 E. Eighth St., Traverse City, Emily Henning Woods 231.218.8479, Stephanie Maguire 231.883.4693, misalontc@gmail.com Deb Lake has been named director of the Traverse Bay Children’s Advocacy Center’s (TBCAC) Team Zero campaign to prevent child abuse. Together with national, state and local partners, Lake will head up the creation of a model to protect children in Northern Michigan and beyond. She comes to TBCAC after 13 years with the Traverse City Film Festival. 231.929.4250, dlake@traversebaycac.org Daylight, a full-length album from indiefolk artist, Angela Josephine, was released on May 4. The Traverse City resident and Upper Peninsula native recorded Daylight in Detroit and Ann Arbor with producer Chris Bathgate. The album expands the sonic palette of Josephine’s work as well as showcases her on a variety of instruments (guitar, mandolin, hammered dulcimer, piano, Wurlitzer, organ, synth). www.angelajosephine.com KUDOS
Linda M. Fisher, owner of Cardinal Insurance Group, has graduated from an extensive 10-month long Total Quality Agency program with the Michigan Association of Insurance Agents. This earns her agency the TQA Designation. 735 S. Garfield Ave. Suite 120, Traverse City, 231.938.4408, www. cardinalinsurancegroup.com For the third year in a row, Big Brothers Big Sisters Nationwide Leadership Council has recognized Big Brothers Big Sisters of Northwestern Michigan with the National Quality Award. This award is given to individual agencies nationwide for meeting or exceeding goals related to program quality, number of children served and financial stability. 231.392.6497, bigsupnorth.com
Impact 100 Traverse City will give two $123,500 grants later this year. Regional non-profits from Antrim, Benzie, Grand Traverse, Kalkaska and Leelanau counties that fall under the categories of Education, Arts & Culture, Family, Environment & Recreation, or Health & Wellness were eligible to apply. The two grant recipients will be selected by the organization’s members on Oct. 25. www.impactTC.org
Heritage Broadcasting Company, owner of the CBS affiliate 9&10 News, announces it was the recipient of the 2017 Station of the Year award and 18 additional accolades at the Michigan Association of Broadcasting Excellence Award Ceremony. 231.876.9731, promotion@9&10news.com Meagan Luce with Century 21 Northland ranks in the top 100 of Century 21 Real Estate individual producers in the Great Lakes Region,
Northwoods Office Express has joined forces with area schools to offer a recycling-based, fundraising program for local students. For every used ink cartridge brought in during the fall semester, the program will donate $1 to Grand Traverse Academy and Kingsley Public Schools students. The schools
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Grand Traverse Woman will share in the over $1,000 earned, which will go toward educational materials and field trips. 231.929.3549, www.northwoodsprinters.com Sue Meredith, Vice President, Deposit Operations Manager and Prime Time Director, is celebrating her 50-year anniversary at Honor Bank. Meredith started working at Honor Bank as a bookkeeper on March 3, 1968. She said she believes her success at Honor Bank is due to her work ethic and sense of humor. 231.639.1790, www.myhonorbank.com Copper Ridge Surgery Center has been recognized nationally as an Intalere Healthcare Achievement Award winner. Intalere is a nationally recognized healthcare supply chain leader and healthcare group purchasing organization that creates and delivers unique healthcare supply chain solutions. Copper Ridge Surgery Center has won the award in the category of Quality and Patient Care Delivery and Patient Satisfaction for their Patient Experience project. 231.392.8900, www.surgerytc.com
EVENTS Cherry Capital Cycling Club (CCCC) is sponsoring 6 weekly rides for SheBikes from May through June, which are open to all ages and ability levels. The rides will be of various routes and distances on Old Mission Peninsula. SheBikes’ goal is to provide women with an enjoyable and safe ride in a small group and to prepare participants for further fun with CCCC rides! SheBikes’ organizational meeting is on Monday, May 7 at 6 p.m. at McLain’s Cycle on Garfield. Bring a snack and/or beverage to share. All are welcome! Contact Linda Deneen at deneedaisy@charter.net. Suttons Bay Ciders will host a fundraising party for cancer patient Julia Boss on May 11 from 6 to 9 p.m. With a suggested entry donation of $25, one can try a tasting flight of ciders. Boss spent the last 15 years taking care of her mother, local artist Debra Sanborn, as she died from cancer. A week after the death of her mother in January, Boss was diagnosed with advanced stage breast cancer at 25 years old. The local community has provided items for the silent auction including designer jewelry, a rare framed photo
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of David Bowie, gift baskets and gift certificates from Sleder’s Family Tavern, Bulldog’s Barbershop, The Little Fleet, Georgina’s, Mackinaw Brewing Co., Blossom Shop and more. All donations for Boss can be made at www.GoFundMe.com/57hjbw8. Suttons Bay Ciders, 10530 E. Hilltop Rd., Suttons Bay, 231.271.6000 On Saturday, May 12, children from the Traverse City area can visit F&M Park to be fitted with a free bicycle helmet. The free event runs 10 a.m. to 12 p.m. at F&M Park between E. State and Washington streets. “Lids for Kids” is a bike helmet giveaway and bicycle safety event for children ages 4-12 and their families. Many bikerelated head injuries are preventable with a properly fitted helmet. New in 2018, Lids for Kids is collaborating with March of Dimes to host both Lids for Kids and March of Dimes March for Babies at F&M Park on May 12. The March of Dimes event kicks off their walk at 9:30 a.m. In addition to Agevix, the Traverse City event is sponsored by the Sinas Dramis Law Firm and the Brain Injury Association of Michigan. Community partners include McLain Cycle & Fitness, TCAPS, Grand Traverse Construction, Norte Youth Cycling, WTCM NewsTalk 580 and Grand Traverse Woman Magazine. www. lidsforkidsmi.com, www.facebook. com/lidsforkidsmichigan Michigan author Cari Noga’s second novel, The Orphan Daughter, set almost entirely in her hometown of Traverse City, is being released by Lake Union Publishing in paperback, Kindle and audio editions on May 8. The Orphan Daughter touches on themes of motherhood, finding home, grief and forgiveness. A 20-year resident of Traverse City, Noga mined the resources of the resort and agriculture community for both plot and characters. Book launch events planned in Traverse City include a launch party 4-5:30 p.m. Saturday, May 5 at Horizon Books Shine Café, 243 E. Front Street; book signing and author meet and greet, Saturday, May 12, 1-3 p.m. at Brilliant Books, 118 E. Front St.; Reading, beta reader introductions, Q&A and book signing, Wednesday, May 23 6:30 p.m. at Traverse Area District Library Woodmere branch, McGuire Room. www.carinoga.com
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May/June '18 39
Grand Traverse Woman
trouble (in the) hood 1712
BY KERRY WINKLER
NASHVILLE OR
NORTHERN ART PHOTOGRAPHY
FOR AT LEAST the past 10 years, we’ve been
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driving past Nashville on the way to Alabama for spring break. Each year I’ve made the case for why we should stop but every year I am vetoed for one reason or another. Mostly because my dad, who is notorious for avoiding crowds, was adamant we would not go. But for 2018, I finally put my foot down. I told him just one stop “for Max.” Yes, I brought in a secret weapon: his grandson. My dad loves old country music and had gotten Max hooked on it too. Everywhere they drove together, it was Willie’s Roadhouse on XM Radio. Max loved Johnny Cash and there was a museum….in Nashville. I had my trump card. Dad would never say no to his grandkid. So the negotiations began for how long of a stopover in Nashville. Brook and I wanted overnight. Dad and Max wanted one hour for Johnny Cash and that’s it. But I figured I had a long day’s drive to argue my points: Alan Jackson’s Good Time Bar, Music Row, cowboys, souvenirs and more! Oh yes, most importantly, a chance to glimpse Alan Jackson himself. We arrived and faced the parking meter: 2, 4 or 6 hours? This would be the test. It got tense – who would win this battle? Dad exclaimed 2 was enough! But I quickly hit “4” and beat it down the street. Not an overnight, but a good chunk of time. We hit the Johnny Cash Museum first. We loved it and there was tons of history about Cash and others like Elvis, June Carter and more. But there were lots of people in a tiny space. I could see Dad’s patience clocking out as the crowd swarmed. A pit stop at the gift shop for a t-shirt for Max, a bumper sticker for me and we shoved out the door for a hard left towards AJ’s. One and half blocks later we saw AJ’s…it was closed. Another tense moment. There was no way I was leaving without gracing the doorstep and buying myself an AJ shirt. Then, as if by magic. . .the door swung open and the manager invited us in, asking where we
May/June '18
were from. “Michigan!” Without hesitation, she offered up a private tour. She unlocked the elevator and showed us three floors of Alan Jackson memorabilia. (Around every corner I was hoping Alan was busy making up a margarita with Jimmy Buffet but no such luck.) The tour concluded with a rooftop view of Nashville and we took selfies galore. I was in heaven! Dad was charmed too and happy with the solo, no-crowd tour. Charmed enough that, when our guide said go across the street to Jack’s BBQ for lunch, he agreed. We were 2.5 hours into my 4-hour vacation…time was ticking. Jack’s BBQ proved to be the best stop for us all – I could spy across the street at AJ’s in hopes of catching a glimpse of Alan, while Max, Dad and Brook enjoyed “the best pulled pork sandwich ever.” We saw lots of cowboys and could hear music along the street from all the openvenue bars. It was perfect. Then, the meter clicked over 3 hours 58 mins. We loaded up and Dad decided to take the driving shift. Why did we think this would be a good time for him to take his turn? The warmth and love from the Jack’s BBQ sandwich was quickly blown away by the roaring Bachelorette Party Bus that cut us off at the first light. (I was secretly jealous of the overnight they were surely planning.) Then the 2nd, 3rd and 4th lights. All full of loaded, loud busses. Open top. Crowded. Laughing. Dad watched the 4-hour mark pass as the lights changed again and again. Would we ever make it out of there? I pointed out the silver lining that every minute in Nashville meant another minute to watch for AJ. We did make it out of there and on to Alabama. I think we were pleased overall with the stop: Max and I in our souvenir shirts, Brook happy to be heading towards sunny shores and Dad relieved to be “out of Dodge”!
KERRY'S #1 TOUR STOP.
JOHNNY CASH MUSEUM.
MAX ENJOYING THE JOHNNY CASH MUSEUM.
Kerry Winkler is the account director and co-publisher of Grand Traverse Woman Magazine. She lives with her 2 teenage kids in Interlochen and one has recently hit the roads with his license so she's getting grayer by the day. She loves being active outdoors and also teaches fitness classes locally at Fit For You Gym. She can be reached at kerry@grandtraversewoman.com.
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Grand Traverse Woman
momma 1513
BY KANDACE CHAPPLE WWW.KANDACECHAPPLE.COM
MOUSE IN THE MY HUSBAND was out of town a few weekends ago. This always trans-
In a scramble of laughter, we all got on the bed, standard procedure. The cat prowled. Out the mouse ran, here, there, all over the room. Happy caught it a few more times, tossing it in the air. More squeaks, more drops, more chases. Several minutes passed. The cat was having a good old time but . . . I had to do something and soon. Because I was getting attached to the mouse and that was no way to run a house. But I sat there barefoot and in shorts, not exactly battle gear. I decided I was brave enough to leave the bed and stuff clothes around the dresser so it couldn’t go under there anymore. We had to narrow down the kill zone. It ran under the bed next and, “squeak,” the cat followed suit. So I got a broom (I’ve never been involved in a mouse hunt that didn’t involve a broom) and scared it out into dim bedroom lamplight. The cat cornered it under my desk. Then, things got very still and very quiet. The mouse was either mortally wounded or sharpening its own knife. We started to go over a few things, camped on the bed, trying to decide our next move. Topics covered included: 1. How many babies a mouse can have and if they were under the bed. 2. How long it’d been since we’d been in the attic. 3. Wasp nests.
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4. If we could sleep if we didn’t catch the mouse. 5. No. 6. How their father would grab him with his bare hands. 7. Rabies. 8. What good a cat is. On cue, the cat left the room altogether and ran downstairs. Leaving us alone with the biggest 1-inch opponent known to mankind. Kendall started shouting ideas. Still safely on the bed. I started shouting more ideas. Still, safely on the bed. Finally, Nelson interrupted us with a roar. In the resulting silence, he said, “I’ll be right back.” He left in American Eagle Hawaiianprint underwear and came back in Carhartts, shoes, gloves and a baseball cap. Carrying a bucket. He also yielded a wooden sword bought years ago at a flea market from a man who was also selling hides. It had languished in the basement for years; however, its day had arrived. Nelson marched into the corner of the room and poked everything until we determined it was inside my computer bag, which lay on its side. Kandace Chapple is the editor and co-publisher of Grand Traverse Woman. She loves books, mountain biking and family. When her two kiddos, Cookie the dog, or work aren't calling, she’s out mountain biking on the gorgeous dirt trails of Northern Michigan. You can reach Kandace at kandace@grandtraversewoman.com. Read her blog at www.kandacechapple.com.
“Wait!” I shouted. “Let’s all get buckets and surround it.” I felt very “Murder She Wrote.” So we did. All three of us at the ready. Three buckets, one sword. I very slowly picked up my computer bag and dumped out the contents. Zipppppp, the mouse raced out and ran, unfortunately toward me. I pinned him with my bucket, but no, he was half in, half out and on his back, looking up at me. My first thought: Cute little thing. I grabbed hold of myself and shoved the bucket over him the rest of the way. I was Laura Ingalls, wild on the prairie, saving my children. Next we found a clipboard, slid it under the bucket and, with one more squeak (from me), delivered the mighty mouse to the snowbank outside. We were wild with victory! We’d done it! In Carhartts and with Schwan’s ice cream buckets. However, the sleepover was off. No one was that interested in camping out on mom’s floor anymore. They chose their nice high, mouse-free beds instead for the night!
NORTHERN ART PHOTOGRAPHY
BOTH CATS PROVED USELESS.
lates into a late night and sleepover on the floor of our bedroom. We were just getting ready for bed on Saturday night when we heard a… “squeak.” “It’s just the creak of the walls,” I said. But inside I was sick with instant fear that I’d have to be the man of the house. “No, Mom, look!” Nelson shouted. “Happy has a mouse!” So it was. I’d have to assume the role of resident rodent slayer. There stood our gray kitty, Happy, with a very tiny mouse in her mouth. As soon as she had our attention, she dropped it and watched it scurry away. This is the same cat that has left a kill on our back porch every day for 10 years straight. The mouse ran under the dresser.
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Grand Traverse Woman
Special
GTMan SECTION THIS ISSUE!
Mr. Fix-It: The One Thing That Can’t Be Repaired
one girl. Many times throughout the years, I’ve BY GARY LANGLEY been the go-to guy in the family for fixing broken things, from PlayStation controllers to Barbie dolls and everything in between. One time, my wife brought home a hot tub property, where the old horse pasture had been. she had hope that Daddy could make this all betthat needed the entire plumbing and controller It was our dachshund Toby, a chocolate male ter and Toby would be fine. replaced. The children suspiciously looked on as rescue we added to our family just before movI could fix a lot of things: I stitched up stuffed my wife said, “I know you can fix it, Honey, you ing into our country home. Our kids loved him animals to keep their stuffing inside, re-sewed can fix anything.” This was her mantra, and in and welcomed him into our home, and he took numerous holes in her baby blanket and glued that moment, it was her challenge to me that I to them immediately. heads on Barbie dolls. I even rebuilt an entire hot would undoubtedly accept. And I did. Toby was lying in the tall grass and it was tub. But this situation was beyond me. Somehow, I managed to repair the tub. As I clear he was in pain. There was an obvious shift As we were making the preparations to get turned the bubbles on for the first time, my famin his spine just behind his front legs, and his Toby into the vet, my wife on the phone with the ily cheered. However, as a father, there are some breathing was very labored. I gently ran my hand office, Toby passed. He was gone, and there was things you just cannot fix. across his head to try to comfort him as I felt nothing I could do to fix him. We are a family of dog lovers. We all enjoyed along his spine. His back legs were limp, and his Toby wasn’t just a dog. Toby was a member of our German shepherd whimpers cut through to our family, and we all loved him. We had a small and dachshunds while my soul. family gathering and gently laid him to rest near we lived on a small, Toby must have been a small grove of pines on our property. nearly five-acre hobby in the edge of the field We took turns speaking kind words, recalling farm downstate, and just off the property and memories and blessings, and crying together. We the dogs enjoyed runrun over by one of the only had him for a few short years, but we were ning across the wideimplements on the tracblessed to have known him at all. I felt blessed to open spaces that surtor or sprayer. I doubt have been his adoptive father. rounded our home. the driver even knew We shared many hugs that day, many tears Each day after he was there. Plus, Toby and many fond memories. We prayed for Toby to school, as they heard couldn't see very well. rest well and that he be able to run and play in the bus’s diesel engine I got a small blanHeaven with our family members who had gone make the corner and ket and managed to get before him, including the furry ones. I trust, by THE KIDDOS BACK IN THE DAY, L TO R: NICHOLAS LANGLEY, KYLE WALITALO, head down our road, Toby into the house. We the grace of God, that we’ll see him again. JESSE WALITALO, JORDAN WALITALO AND MACY JADE (MJ) LANGLEY. the dogs’ tails would called the vet to have Sometimes, the hardest lessons in life a father begin wagging and they would start to bark. someone meet us at the office. The children will encounter do not require fixing anything, They wanted to make sure everyone knew it was gathered around and attempted to soothe Toby. only being present with our children. There is time to get the kids off the bus. The other dogs were not far off, showing no fix for a broken heart—it’s not something you They loved to make their way down the quartheir own concern for their friend. My boys were can repair with a needle and thread. There are ter-mile-long driveway to greet the kids. old enough to know this wasn’t going to have a tissues for tears and hugs to comfort the pain, We had it good. Country life was simple for a happy ending. This was serious. but nothing to fix. There are hugs, there are time. However, in the course of having animals, My 6-year-old daughter noticed their tearytears, there are prayers, and we find peace movnot everything is smiles and laughter. eyed looks immediately. ing forward. One afternoon, the sun was hot and the She turned her little face up to me. “You can asparagus was beginning to go to seed. School fix him, Daddy. You can fix anything!” she said, was done until the fall and the kids spent their all the hope in the world in her voice. Her eyes days playing in the small pool and lush green were welling up with tears to match my own. grass that surrounded our home. Somehow, she knew this was different. But still, The dogs were either by their side or snoozing in the shade under one of our maple trees. I had Gary Langley lives in Traverse City with his family. When he’s not writing heartbeen pulling some weeds in the garden that day felt stories, he enjoys performing standup comedy. During the summer, he is the and heard whimpers. I knew right away someP.A. announcer at Wuerfel Park for the Traverse City Beach Bums. You can follow thing was wrong. him on Facebook @GaryLangleyStandup. I walked near the tall grass that bordered our
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May/June '18
PHOTO BY GRAND TRAVERSE MEDIA
I AM the father of five children—four boys and
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Grand Traverse Woman
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May/June '18 43
Grand Traverse Woman
Special
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Finding Purpose Through Pain How My Chronic Ear Issues Led to a Career Helping Kids BY DR. BRADLEY HAHN
WHEN
your kid isn’t healthy, you’d do anything to fix it. I know, because I was that kid. But I never thought that my physical pain growing up would lead me to my career. However, through my journey, I discovered that I love chiropractic and pediatric work. I have spent the last few years learning everything I can to best treat kids so that they won’t have to go through what I did as a child.
MY BUMPY ROAD Ever since I can remember, I suffered from chronic ear infections. Medication and surgery were a part of my life growing up. From the ages of 5 to 12, I had 12 sets of tubes placed in my ears and went through 12 rounds of antibiotics. My ear problems left me with difficulty hearing and differentiating certain sounds, which led to speech problems. As a result, I spent countless hours working with a speech pathologist. Although my speech eventually improved and I learned to live with my chronic ear infections, by the time I was in high school, my eardrums ruptured every few months. I was constantly frustrated and angry over my difficulties. Sports became my outlet. As a kid, sports were a chance for me to excel at something and leave my other struggles behind. I loved being part of a team, working together and building strong friendships, ones that I still value today. My family was incredibly supportive and showed up to cheer me on at every game.
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May/June '18
COLLEGIATE DREAMS
DEVASTATING DIAGNOSIS
When my senior football season rolled around, several colleges were recruiting me to play, including Tennessee, Arkansas, Vanderbilt, University of Tennessee at Martin, Memphis and Texas Christian University. I had always dreamed of playing for a big Division I college. I loved my town, but I was eager to experience somewhere new, and being recruited for football seemed like my only chance to escape. Sports had become such an important part of my life—I loved the constant challenge, excitement, but most of all the family and friendship that came out of a team. Even though I no longer struggled with speech problems, sports were still my safe place.
The next day, I went to the doctor to figure out what was going on. The doctor told me he could give me medication to deal with the pain, but I would have to quit football. Since I only had the problem when I was playing, I decided not to take the pain medication. I was eager for a better option, so I went to an orthopedic surgeon for a second opinion. He told me that they could fuse my neck, but I still wouldn’t be able to play football again. No matter what, I wasn’t going to be able to finish my senior season, let alone play college football.
A BIG HIT After months of training in my senior year, it was finally kick-off time! But early in the game, I injured my neck. Each time I took a hit, I lost feeling and muscle control in my right arm. I continued playing with the neck injury, but the pain and loss of muscle control only got worse. I was too focused on my short-term goals to see the big-picture problem. After three weeks of dealing with the injury, I couldn’t hide it anymore; each time I took a hit, I lost feeling in my arm for over 15 seconds. My coach immediately pulled me out of the game. I was devastated. All the big Division I and II colleges stopped calling after they found out. My hopes of playing college ball at a good school and exploring the world was gone. Emotionally, I checked out.
A SECOND CHANCE ON THE FIELD After talking with my friends over the following weekend, one of them asked why I hadn’t tried chiropractic. My friend’s dad was a chiropractor and told me he would see me and take some x-rays to see what he could do. I didn’t know much about it, but I was willing to try anything. After I learned more about chiropractic and got my first adjustment, I felt a noticeable difference in my arm and neck. After a second visit, I decided it was time to try to practice again. I convinced the coaches that I was good to go, and while I was nervous about going back to football, I was also excited to see if chiropractic would give me a chance to finish out my senior season. I lined up against my opponent and made immediate contact. To my surprise, I didn’t have any pain or loss of muscle control! I knew at that moment I was on the right path to fixing my problem. I continued getting adjusted to prevent my injury from happening again.
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Grand Traverse Woman
There’s only
NO PAIN, LOTS TO GAIN
one radio station
Thanks to chiropractic care, I was able to finish out the rest of my senior season. And while all of the DI and most of the DII colleges had stopped contacting me, there was this college called Wheaton that had never stopped calling. They wanted me to visit. When Wheaton recruited me to play college football, I was thrilled. And thanks to Wheaton College, I also met my wife. Throughout college, as I continued to get adjusted, my chronic ear infections went away, too. I am so thankful for the opportunity to have played at Wheaton, surrounded by such a godly group of men. I still call on them to this day when I need help. After Wheaton, I attended Logan College of Chiropractic in St. Louis, Mo. There, I pursued my Doctor of Chiropractic, focusing on pediatrics and pregnancy. My goal is to keep parents and kids from feeling the same helplessness and frustration my family went through. The more I’ve worked with kids and families and seen the impact I’ve made, the more my passion has grown. I love helping families live their healthiest lives so they can spend more time doing what they love.
that says thanks for listening every weekday!
Dr. Bradley Hahn and his wife Marie own Third Coast Chiropractic, which sees families of all ages, specializing in pregnancy and pediatrics. Third Coast Chiropractic will be the first office in the Grand Traverse County to earn their CACCP certification from the International Pediatric Chiropractic Association, a specialization in pregnancy and pediatrics. Visit www.thirdcoastchiropractic.org for more information.
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May/June '18 45
Grand Traverse Woman
Special
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Call Me Papa
How a stepfather found his way BY JOHN RUSSELL
THE MOST important stage of my adult life was when I became a step dad. I met Meg in 1991 when I saw her gardening one day. I had no idea she lived four blocks from me on Traverse City’s west side. We chatted and I learned she worked at Willow Hill Elementary School. Eventually, we began spending time together. When I first showed up on Meg’s doorstep in 1992, my life changed forever. Meg had been a working single mother for 17 years, raising her daughter, Jill, a beautiful, shy and intelligent woman. We included Jill infrequently in our growing friendship. I was concerned about coming on too strong. To Jill, I was probably just another person Mom had met, possibly to date and spend time with. But it was more than that. Much more. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with Meg. Meg and I were married in 1992. On that day, I also married Jill, “to have and to hold, from that day forward.” We included her in our wedding vows. She was 19 years old at that time, just entering adulthood and planning and dreaming of her future. College at Central Michigan University was on her horizon, and she was pleased her mother would not be alone when she moved to Mt. Pleasant. I don’t know if she knew what I would become to her; neither did I know what she would become to me. But, in 25 years, I have learned a lot. 1) Be patient. Jill was used to a comfortable world where her mother was boss. They had a rhythm and an understanding that only a mother and daughter can share. I tip-toed through the move into their home, taking over a bedroom for an office. I brought with me all the usual things a single middle-aged man brings, along with my two big dogs and two cats. Jill quietly accepted me and let things fall into place. I did what I could to help around the house, but, having joined an already established dynamic, I felt it was important to wait until I was needed. Meg and Jill were independent women and I was new in their lives.
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2) Be quiet. This was probably the most difficult change for me. I am a talker. I always have an opinion or something to say, and I was nervous. I didn’t want to be too intrusive. They had been a pair, growing together for years, and I was a recent addition. I felt it was necessary to tread softly as we all grew into a family. Learning to listen and waiting until my opinion was needed was difficult, but important. I have learned that my input is welcome and appreciated by both women. 3) Share. I learned quickly to share. I shared my time and my feelings, and Jill slowly opened up to me. If she had a car problem, needed errands run or just a shoulder to lean on, I was there for her. The love and acceptance began when she was going to school at CMU. Whenever I was coming or going to and from meetings in Lansing, I would drop in on Jill in Mt. Pleasant. I’d deliver things from her mother and me and we would share a meal. I think this was the most important time for both of us, as it was our time to talk, laugh and catch up with each other. I remember feeling surprised at how much I loved Jill and how much I missed her. When Jill was married in 1994, Meg and I both walked her down the aisle. I felt like a father and I felt deeply loved. When Jill’s two sons were born, I felt overwhelmed with love for them, too. I was a part of this growing family. I’ll never forget the way my heart warmed the first time Jill called me Papa some years back. I’d never been called that. She says she‘ll never forget the look on my face. Nor will I forget how deeply loved I feel every time she calls me Papa. It’s a cool job that I still love to this day. 4) Be yourself. Meg has been the boss for most of Jill’s life. The two have their own connection, one that no man can comprehend. I have tried, but have not been very successful. Giving birth to a child forms a bond for the mother that I will never understand and probably shouldn’t try. I’ve learned that the best thing to do is accept their connection
and support it. Jill had not seen her father since she was an infant, and he passed away a few years ago. The divorce had brought the two women north to Traverse City and a new life. When Meg and I married, I tried to be helpful, loving, and I never tried to be the father she never knew. I am simply “John.” Time has molded us into what we have become. She loves me and tells me and anyone else that I am her “Papa.” 5) Be a good role model. Work hard. Be honest. Be supportive. Don’t try to change things that cannot be changed. Volunteer when you can. Love deeply. Laugh often. It is said you can choose your friends but not your family. That is not true. I chose well. Being a stepdad and Papa is the most rewarding part of my life.
John L. Russell is a native of Traverse City. He attended Traverse City Central, NMC and MSU, and he began his life’s work as a photojournalist in East Lansing with The State News. Retired after 30 years at the Traverse City RecordEagle, he owns Great Lakes Images, a freelance photography business. He also writes for the Detroit News.
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2018
Grand Traverse Woman LUNCHEONS
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Wednesday, May 23rd 11am-1pm
Meet Gina Ferwerda—she is a TV personality, travel/food blogger, business entrepreneur, and author of her debut cookbook, Meals from the Mitten: Celebrating the Seasons in Michigan. Gina is a regular on-air personality on WZZM TV13 and has been featured by the TODAY show food club, the Rachael Ray Show, ABC’s The Chew, and she was on Good Morning America’s competition for best chocolate cake… and her Pretzel Crusted Chocolate Cake with Peanut Butter Frosting won 1st place!
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Gina will share her funny story on how she became a food blogger (after becoming an empty nester) and how her burgers are now her claim to fame, so to speak. She’ll share her tips and tricks on making the perfect burger and burger bar, just in time for your summer cookout. Join us for a lunch that will inspire you to fire up your grill and pursue your passion, at any age. We hope you’ll join us on Wednesday, May 23, for lunch with Gina. Visit www.nomnews.com to learn more about Gina & order your cookbook!
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Special
GTMan SECTION THIS ISSUE!
BY JOE SANOK
IT WAS a Saturday morning in 2014. I sat on a chair opposite my wife, Christina, having run the numbers for the thousandth time. “I think I can leave if I have 15 clients, but—” I started to say. “If you leave and it doesn’t work, I can always go back to work,” she interrupted. “I know you can do this.” This was the moment I knew I could leave my full-time job as a counselor.
THE BACK STORY In 2009, as a side gig, I started a counseling practice called Mental Wellness Counseling in Traverse City. I also worked full time as a counselor at NMC, where I helped college students with life issues. I loved that, too. As I learned a few things about business in private practice, I started blogging about it. In 2012, I launched a podcast all about marketing and growing a health care private practice, called Practice of the Practice. I focused on health care practices because I knew the world of private practice from owning Mental Wellness Counseling. At first, the podcast was just for counselors. Then, other listeners found value, including chiropractors, massage therapists and naturopathes. But 2012 was a rough year. Our first daughter had heart surgery, I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer and my wife had a miscarriage. It was the kind of year that no one wishes on anyone. But I kept seeing clients, blogging and podcasting.
Through it all, other fears threatened me as I embarked on this business: there wouldn’t be enough money, I was going to fail, and I wasn’t going to have enough time to be a father. I continually asked myself: “Why am I blogging when my daughter is about to have heart surgery?” “Why am I podcasting when I’m going through cancer treatment?” “Why am I not at home?” I found that the work provided both a distraction and a hope for change. I became efficient in only working on what provided a clear outcome: a podcast, blog post or counseling session. I knew that I had to work hard in the present to secure a more open future. At that time, keeping my full-time job with benefits made the most sense. My wife was staying home with the kids (we had a second in 2014), and a reliable income was more important than going after my big ideas. But, as Mental Wellness Counseling grew, we were serving more people and Practice of the Practice was slowly gaining national recognition. Still, I was more of a nap-preneur, an entrepreneur who works during his kids’ naps. But I thought: What would happen if I put full-time effort into my business, instead of just 10-12 hours per week? More importantly, what kind of father, friend and husband could I be? Could I really structure my ideal life?
THE TEST For the six months immediately after our second daughter was born, I used the Full
Medical Leave Act (FMLA) to test out putting in only 20 hours per week at my “real” full-time counseling job. I wanted to see if my own business could grow, so I devoted more time to my own counseling and consulting practice. I asked myself: “What is the very best use of my time?” and found that I could leverage my time in a completely new way. I had four virtual assistants: one in Texas, one in Chicago, one in the Philippines and one in South Africa. For a high-quality designer in South Africa, I could pay around $11/hour. I could get my podcast transcribed in the Philippines for about $10 per 45-minute episode. My calls and scheduling for my practice were answered in Texas for $15/ hour, and I only paid for what I used. I could do a consulting session for $400 an hour and purchase 20 to 30 hours of virtual assistant time! During my test run, a mixture of potential and panic started to grow. I saw potential in taking reasonable next steps toward my dream career. I also saw that I could design my schedule to match my family’s needs. But my worry was that, unlike a full-time job, if the bottom fell out, it was all on my shoulders. In my mind, the most secure occupation was to work for someone else. But I realized that in a full-time job, I didn’t have control over my wages, benefits, amount given to retirement or upward mobility. In fact, my biggest obstacle to growth was my not putting more time into the businesses. Mental Wellness Counseling and Practice of the Practice were seeing between 60 and 80 percent of growth each year, and the income continued to rise. My impact helping the community through counseling also grew, and the podcast did, too.
THE LAUNCH So here my wife and I were, sitting across from each other. It was toward the end of my FMLA and time to decide if I should leave my full-time counselor role. NMC had been my dream job. The Student Life Department and my supervisor were wonderful, and the college was growing and helping students across the region. This made it so much harder. But it was time to go for it. I had run the numbers down to the very last detail, and I even turned it into a “How To Leave Your Job Calculator” on my website. I put in my notice at NMC and was officially on my own in five weeks. And there was something about having Christina by my side that said I wasn’t alone.
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THE SWEET SPOT As we’ve entered this entrepreneurial journey, it’s been important to have an organized framework for moving forward. As someone who is self-employed, it’s easy always to be in “idea mode.” To be successful, I’ve had to identify my framework. First, I examined the kind of life I wanted to live. I wanted to be a present father that could play with my kids. But I also wanted my children to understand that the world does not revolve around them. As a husband, I wanted to be supportive and encouraging of my wife’s goals, but I didn’t want to give up my big ideas to improve the world. My wife Christina is trained as an Occupational Therapist and owns Sprout Therapeutic Services, a home-based pediatric OT business. She also does home assessments for people with mobility issues such as MS or Parkinson's. But during that time, we knew that her staying home with our children fit our lifestyle and parenting goals. So, I found myself being the primary income for the family. We continue to experiment with this balance, like we did with the FMLA experiment. If it doesn’t improve our family dynamic, we revert to what was working. No biggie.
I now have a three-day workweek. A typical week starts on Monday with dropping off my kids at school; then I go home and drink coffee with my wife and check email for about 30 minutes. The rest of the day is spent doing family things like cleaning, errands or walking with friends. Tuesday through Thursday I work 8:30 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. I spend time consulting, running webinars, counseling and recording podcast interviews. On Fridays, I drop off the girls at school, have lunch with them and plan activities for the weekend. Of course, there is always more to do in a business, but I have set boundaries. I turn off work on the weekends. When I’m home, I’m physically home and mentally available.
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I often go back to the question, “What is the very best use of my time?” That’s something I think we all should ask ourselves more often. The answer is always shifting. Sometimes it is being present for our kids, and other times it is having time alone to regroup. It may be working on a side gig passion project, or maybe it’s bringing new ideas to your workplace. If you’re like me, sometimes the very best use of your time is to sit on the couch with a cup of coffee, talk to your partner and decide to leave your job.
Joe Sanok, MA, LPC, NCC is the owner of Mental Wellness Counseling, located in downtown Traverse City. His team helps angry kids, frustrated parents and distant couples…and just about everyone else. He’s been featured in Forbes, Reader’s Digest and Huffington Post named his podcast one of the top 100. He was recently selected as a TEDx speaker. He loves paddle boarding with his wife and two daughters, Lucia, 7, and Laken, 3. For counseling services, connect with Joe’s practice at www. MentalWellnessCounseling.com. To learn about business, marketing or to listen to Joe’s podcast go to www.PracticeofthePractice.com.
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Special
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Watching my two daughters grow into young women BY TODD NIENHOUSE
TODD WITH HIS DAUGHTERS ON A SUMMER AFTERNOON.
I’VE ALWAYS felt like the luckiest man. In 1991, I married the love of my life, my best friend, Wendy. We met at an Italian restaurant in Lansing, where we both worked, and I can’t remember a time that I didn’t love her. Her strength, tenacity, devotion to family, faith, positive attitude and love for life inspired me. I knew I didn’t want to live without her. Our first daughter, Olivia, was born in 1993. Our second, Eva, was born in 1995. I now had three girls I couldn’t live without. And, as Olivia and Eva grew into independent women, I didn’t realize how hard it could be to let go. From releasing my grip from the back of their bike seats as they took their first pedals on two wheels to leaving them on their own across the country as they entered adulthood, each year of their lives has required me to “let go.” Sure, the milestones have changed. But year after year, the same principle has given me the strength to let go: Trust.
TRUST At first, much of the trust was in myself. As they waddled around in saggy diapers, I had to trust that that my diapering job would hold up. When we were spending a summer day on my mom’s beach on Bluff Road, I had to trust that I’d put enough layers of sunblock on their delicate baby skin. As they grew into little girls, I had to trust that I’d be able to get the splinter out of Eva’s little finger. Or that encouraging Olivia’s love for hermit crabs and hamsters was truly the best thing for us all… and our noses. I loved watching them grow, and I trusted myself that I would be there for them when they needed me. My biggest worries at that time were
skinned knees or a runny nose wiped on my favorite “Michigan State” shirt. When they were young, Wendy and I controlled much of Olivia and Eva’s environment and were almost always with them. We had family watch them if we had a date night. Wendy’s office was at home, so she was with them as they grew. I’m still in awe of how she balanced a full creative schedule with marketing clients while also being the absolute best, most loving and present mother. She still is.
INDEPENDENT, BIG GIRLS When it was time for Olivia’s first day of kindergarten, Wendy dressed her in her adorable matching “first day” outfit, and the entire family walked to the bus stop. I captured the momentous occasion on my video camera the size of Jupiter of course. The older kids in the neighborhood were confident, talking merrily as they waited for the bus. They’d done this “a million times.” Olivia’s big blue eyes sparkled with excitement as she admired their long fifth-grader legs and crimped hair. As the bus roared around the bend, I felt so happy and proud of my little Olivia. But I couldn’t deny that I also felt sad and empty. For the first time, she would be without her mom and dad. When the bus rumbled to a stop and opened the doors, she climbed up, the steps tall for her pint-size legs. She was off to her first day of elementary school. And you can bet I was there
waiting for her when those bus doors creaked open and she hopped back down. Soon enough, after Eva and Olivia each entered about third grade and started going on sleepovers, to birthday parties, and even getting off the bus and home from school on their own, we had to trust them. We had to trust that they’d get on the right bus after the school day, and that they’d at least brush their teeth before staying up all night at their friends’ houses. We also had to trust so many others outside of our family, from their teachers at school to the girls’ friends. Wendy and I still held the reigns, of course, but Eva and Olivia were gaining their independence. It was hard at first, but there was something special about watching our children learn and be able to make their own decisions. It was wonderful, even and especially now, to watch the girls come to their own conclusions, have their own opinions, own desires and own dreams. That is all you can ask for as a dad, besides also being happy.
GOT TO HAVE FAITH
EVA, WENDY, TODD AND OLIVIA IN THE SUMMER OF 2017.
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ALWAYS MY GIRLS I do miss the days of Eva and Olivia’s early independence, when I hoped they’d remember to call to say goodnight while away at a friend’s. For my sake, of course. But I also love the things that we can do together now that they’re older. I love that Eva will watch the Spartans play basketball with me over hot wings and a beer without changing the channel to “SpongeBob.” I love watching her start her own company, and I love that I can talk with her about the “Dos and Don’ts” of being an entrepreneur. I love watching Olivia perform and find success and joy in acting. She is incredible, and
I’m so proud of her accomplishments, too. I’ve loved traveling and going on adventures with them both, from paddleboard rides in my lap when they were toddlers to road trips this past January to watch the Spartans beat Indiana at home. Go Green! Letting go and continuing to have trust and faith gives me the strength to deal with life changes as they come, the good and the not so good. I just love being Olivia and Eva’s dad. Wendy and I are so incredibly proud of our two very independent, smart and now-grown women. And, I still love those phone calls to say goodnight.
In 2008, Todd co-founded Agevix Exercise Therapy with his wife Wendy to better accommodate and benefit the specific needs of brain injury survivors. He is a Certified Brain Injury Specialist and Certified Personal Trainer as well as a leader in industry associations and local organizations. Todd is also a dedicated Spartan fan and alum, and he endured a divided house during Eva and Olivia’s college years (one studied at MSU, the other at U of M). He is equally proud of them both, whether they wear green and white or maize and blue.
PHOTO BY THOMAS KACHADURIAN
trusted that her heart would take her where she needed to be. And I was beyond excited that it was back to “the Mitten.”
McLain
My faith, family and friends are at the core of how I get through life. All three usually work like a puzzle for me, and all of them allow me to have trust in my parenting and in my girls. But that isn’t to say that it always works out. Like any puzzle, getting every piece in place is a challenge. I certainly don’t always say the right thing, and there are times when I don’t know what to do. I can always look to my rock, Wendy. And I can pray for God’s guidance, too. But sometimes I jump the gun. I forget. Life is unpredictable and I’ve made mistakes. I still have influence on their decisions, and, of course, I want to be heard. But, after all, they are in control of their lives. These lives are their own, and they should be. When Eva grappled with whether it was right for her to come back to Michigan after living and working in Los Angeles, I was more than happy to think she’d be close again. Those long 2,000-plus miles had been tough on Wendy and me. What I didn’t quite realize was that they’d been nearly impossible for her, too. I listened to and supported Eva, and I also knew that she needed to make her own decision. It was hard not to tell her what I would do and why. I felt sad and frustrated, knowing that she was unhappy and hurting. But I
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