GTWoman Nov/Dec 2017 Issue

Grand Traverse

WOMAN

northern michigan’s network for women ◆ NOV/DEC '17

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Grand Traverse Woman

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Grand Traverse Woman

WOMAN2WOMAN

BY KANDACE CHAPPLE & KERRY WINKLER

Grand Traverse

WOMAN northern michigan’s magazine for women

Volume 15, No. 2 November/December 2017 Grand Traverse Woman P.O. Box 22 Interlochen, MI 49643 231.276.5105 www.grandtraversewoman.com BLOG: www.kandacechapple.com FACEBOOK: www.facebook.com/grandtraversewoman PUBLISHERS Kandace Chapple Kerry Winkler EDITOR Kandace Chapple, kandace@grandtraversewoman.com ACCOUNT DIRECTOR Kerry Winkler, kerry@grandtraversewoman.com

WELL. We always try to come up with a story to tell at

ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES Deb Dent, deb@grandtraversewoman.com Sherry Galbraith, sherry@grandtraversewoman.com Lori Maki, lori@grandtraversewoman.com

the beginning of each GTWoman event. But lately we’ve been lamenting that we are recycling stories. At the ripe ol’ (business) age of 14, we realized we’d become such astute businesswomen that we no longer screwed things up, thereby extinguishing our source of good stories.

We felt a secret satisfaction over this. Smug even.

Thank you, karma, for paying us a visit.

THE NIGHT To set the scene: We had 215 women, 40 booths, vendors of wine and food, a little music and a lovely, perfectly appropriate Friday evening underway in a nicely lit (former) school gymnasium.

We’d initially thought the gym was a risk. But the gym had been transformed into a cozy night out with twinkling lights.

We’d wondered, would the 40 vendors be too many or too few in the space? But the gals laughed and shopped with plenty of room to mingle, yet hang out elbow to elbow.

We’d worried where we’d seat the women for the comedy show and how many chairs were enough without drowning the room in steel legs and maroon cushions. But the setup turned out to be a perfect mix of standing and sitting.

Then, the show began.

And it turned out the entertainment was what we should have worried about.

THE SHOW We welcomed a comedian from Detroit, one well-vetted with an impressive résumé (New York! Chicago! Cable TV!).

She had come with glowing references and we’d given her talent manager just a few instructions: avoid too much swearing and give us a moderately clean show.

Well, the message got waylaid at some point because we decidedly got more than that.

While the comedian was kind and delightful in person… on stage, she did not hold back. The show swung between hysterical and hysterics (ours).

We had asked for a PG-13 show and were well into the NC-17 rating. We did NOT know what to do! There we were, a couple of girls-next-door, staring up at a woman whose mind worked unlike anything we’d ever seen.

What to do? Stop the show! But how? There were 200plus women laughing. Or were they? We started scanning the crowd. They were getting a little quieter.

Surely the comedian could see if things were going south?

She was on stage. We were standing in the back. She would see the audience’s reactions and take a new tact, wouldn’t she?

Yes, she would get things under control any minute.

But no. Just when we thought she couldn’t get any

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ASSISTANT EDITOR Karin Beery, karin@grandtraversewoman.com

SARAH BROW

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raunchier, she did. The women around us started making sounds of sympathy. Could the twins handle this? Did they even realize what the jokes were about? Were the girls ever going to be the same?

“Don’t worry. We’re all grown-ups here,” became the war cry whispered in our ears.

We couldn’t seem to stop what was happening. The comedian thundered through a gym full of innocent Northern Michiganders and left smoke in her wake.

When the show was over, we went to the door to bid everyone goodbye. We were still hung up on the last joke and were worried, quite worried, that she’d said exactly what we’d thought she said.

THE RESPONSE Some of the women loved it: Innovative, cutting edge, you can’t get that anywhere in TC! And some were in clinical shock: That was… something.

We learned that women are polite, always. Even in the face of comic anarchy.

So we raised our eyebrows channeling our apologies to half the women as they left, while agreeing with the other half that we knew exactly how cutting edge we were.

The comedian, returning to her sweet self off stage, had this to say to us after the show: “I was on a roll and couldn’t stop!” (This has become something of a catchphrase around here since.)

After everyone left, we ate pizza and took off our heels and tore down tables and wondered, was this the end for GTWoman? We swung between new career ideas and reassuring ourselves that we were pioneers.

THE GIFT Well, a month has passed and things seem to have blown over. Our 14 years of (mostly) good behavior has kept us in good stead with (most of) Traverse City. And let’s not forget the women that we totally impressed.

So, we want to take a moment to let you know that we are… delighted to have a new story in our arsenal. An unexpected, non-returnable, one-size-fits-all, gift-beyond-gifts, gift. Just in time for the holidays. Thank you, karma.

COPY EDITOR Christine Kurtz DESIGNER Bethany Gulde, bethany@grandtraversewoman.com COVER PHOTO Sarah Bernstein, owner of Source in Traverse City and the brainchild behind The Dream League. See her story on page 8.

Photo by: Beth Price Photography www.bethpricephotography.com Illustration by: Hallie Kohler http://design.halliekohler.com PHOTOGRAPHERS Sarah Brown, Sarah Brown Photography www.sarahbrown-photography.com Scarlett Piedmonte, Photography by Scarlett www.photobyscarlett.com Beth Price, Beth Price Photography www.bethpricephotography.com CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Beth Barbaglia Karin Beery Sarah Bernstein Earlene Blevins Mi Ditmar Cathy Fitzgerald Angela Gardener Rachelle Grockau Sarah Hubbell Lori Kevwitch Kristen Lowe Robin O'Malley Mary Robinson Bethany Roth Rose Soma Jill Washburn ADVERTISING Kerry Winkler at 231.276.5105 or kerry@grandtraversewoman.com Visit www.grandtraversewoman.com for rates.

SUBSCRIPTIONS To receive GTWoman at home, mail $20 (for 6 issues) to: Grand Traverse Woman, P.O. Box 22, Interlochen, MI 49643 ARTICLES/PRESS RELEASES Letters, inquiries, press releases and GTWoman In Business submissions are welcome.

See www.grandtraversewoman.com for guidelines.

MISSION STATEMENT Grand Traverse Woman is a bimonthly magazine dedicated to the interests of women in the five-county region. Our mission is to provide women with a publication that is educational and inspirational. We strive to maintain a positive, well-balanced and genuine forum for women's issues. (We also like funny stuff.) © Copyright 2017 Grand Traverse Woman LLC All rights reserved.

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Grand Traverse Woman

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Grand Traverse Woman

‘People are capable, at any time in their lives, of doing what they dream of.’

- Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

BY SARAH BERNSTEIN

I’VE ALWAYS

been a dreamer—a stargazer, an optimist, an idea machine. My ideas have little idea babies and they all want to live. It can’t be easy for my husband, Bernie—a pragmatic realist—to have Doc Brown from Back to the Future for a wife. He heroically endures my dreaming and all the cryptic, scribbled notes left around the house that come with it.

I won’t let him throw them away, and, yet, I don't know exactly what I meant when I wrote, “website for dentists/candles” either. I’m sure it will come back to me.

Some of my past dreams even made it to trial phase. My favorite was a recipe for organic dog popsicles called Muttsicles. They were fantastic.

I poured them into real Popsicle molds for freezing, but instead of the traditional wooden stick—a rawhide. Boom.

Dogs went nuts for them. Poor Bernie would come home and smell what he thought was a delicious pot roast only to find another batch of beef Muttsicles on the stove. My downfall was retail freezer capability and having no business plan. We didn’t even have a dog.

MAKING FRIENDS WITH FEAR So, it was fitting in 2011 when I started watching this web-series called Failure Club, which was produced by Morgan Spurlock, the same documentarist who made Supersize Me in 2004. The show followed eight New Yorkers who each committed to making a secret dream come true over one year.

Failure Club’s intent was to take the stigma out of failure. I needed that. I didn’t have much to show except a freezer full of Muttsicles. Having dreams feels lovely, doesn’t it? Attempting to take them beyond sticky notes is terrifying stuff.

At the time I was also reading a lot of Thich Nhat Hanh (“Because you are alive all things are possible.”); Pema Chodron (“To be alive is to be continually thrown out of the nest.”); and Brene Brown (“Vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity and change.”).

Even though nobody on the show was talking about it was, to me, so clear that the participants weren’t simply taking chances: They were absolutely redefining their relationship with fear, uncertainty, and the Universe itself. In that group-accountability setting, participants were doing the brave work of being vulnerable, big, and playful with life. I found it exhilarating. “Everything you want is on the other side of fear!”

Jack Kornfield, Buddhist rockstar, and I yelled at the screen.

PUTTING LIFE ON HOLD But in 2012, my mom died at age 54, and my ability to dream died too for a season. It was excruciating, and I stopped being playful for a long time. There was no heart left for it. It took everything in me just to

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BETH PRICE PHOTOGRAPHY

walk through the grief pit and still make mac and cheese and find my kids matching shoes before preschool. That was a dark stretch of road.

If there is, however, any silver lining to deep grief, it’s that when one finally starts stepping out of it, back into the light, what used to be scary seems laughable. The threshold for discomfort and unknowing grows tenfold while in its throes. There is freedom in that, certainly, and promise.

DREAMING TURNED INTO REALITY And the impermanence of all this! Of everything! As I healed, my sadness was replaced with bafflement: I couldn’t wrap my head around why we don’t run towards what we want like our hair is on fire.

“Your problem is, you think you have time,” whispered Jack Kornfield.

I decided that if I was going to really come back, be myself again and carry on, I was no longer willing just to daydream. It suddenly felt ludicrous ever to let fear call the shots again.

So, in 2015, I opened Source, a real business that is not in my freezer.

We provide on-site meditation and yoga classes, soul-play workshops, women’s circles, and lots of woo-woo services like astrology and tarot readings.

It makes my heart sing. And, yes, it was scary to launch. In the first few months when I was really bombing, I remember thinking: “Holy crap, I’m in Failure Club!”

Which, of course, gave me another idea.

STARTING DREAM LEAGUE That same year, I started Dream League, a women’s circle, coaching group, adventure club for all the dreamers, stargazers and optimists out there. Now, twice a year, I accept 7-12 women, of all ages and stages, each of whom commits to making a secret dream come true. We are gearing

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Grand Traverse Woman up to start our fourth session, and it gets better and better each time.

While structured a little like Failure Club, Dream League adds extra layers of intent and support as we talk about the real work being done: how can we be more joyous and brave in this one life we have?

How do we redefine our relationships with failure, success, desire, and curiosity? We learn about the life cycle of a dream, how to get past ego and fear, how to hold space for ourselves and other women, and, more importantly, why we should hold that space.

It’s wonderful. The women are wonderful. The dreams are wonderful: getting published, fronting a rock band, saving the environment, being a stand-up comic—we’ve seen it all and look forward to more.

I can’t promise the dreams will come true, but I can promise it honestly changes everything just by trying. And I don’t feel so much like Doc Brown anymore. There are a lot of us. Closet dreamers, secret optimists, come out! Life wants to play.

Sarah Bernstein is a Certified Life Coach, business owner, high-school teacher, writer, mother of three and wife to a realist. You can learn more about Dream League by going to www.dreamleagueadventure.com and www.sourcetc.com. If anyone in Traverse City has an office, even a little corner or cubby, where Sarah can take a nap, let her know at sourcetcsarah@gmail.com.

Tales from the Dream League “I am an artist, and my dream was to teach 500 people about intentional creativity, which is a powerful, emotional painting process for personal transformation. I am passionate about this technique; it changed my life. I had to get way out of my comfort zone and teach big groups and online classes. I also threw myself into community happenings. At the Dennos Museum event, The Art of: Dying, I invited people to put strokes of grief and hope on a giant canvas. I didn’t quite reach 500 in the allotted time, but I was close, and now I just keep going, doing more and more! After Dream League, I realized it was time to get a studio space at the Leelanau Studios to continue my work. I learned on a deeper level not to let fear control my decisions, to redirect the inner critic talk, to focus on my passion and how it serves the world, and to surround myself with empowered, inspirational people.”

-Evelyne Verret “My dream was to learn how to dance. I never learned how (truly, honestly NEVER learned) when I was younger, and as time went on I allowed fear of failure and struggles with body image to prevent me from being brave when it came to physical endeavors. The first big step was to verbalize my dream to a group of strangers, a group of amazing women who came to be my cheering squad. After that, I had no choice but to see it through! I committed to taking swing dance lessons and set a goal to dance at a public event in May 2017. The biggest step of all was to become OK with feeling vulnerable. Halfway into Dream League, I realized it was never really just about learning to dance: it was about becoming free of my own self-created resistance in all areas of my life.”

-Melanie Villanueva “My dream is big, so big I had to join two consecutive sessions of Dream League. I want to save the environment.

How does one person do that? There was a lot of following the bread crumbs and, more importantly, learning to trust the bread crumbs. I’ve had dead ends and successes: I made videos, lobbied in Lansing, and even landed a contract with Airstream to sponsor me with a trailer so I could travel the country and plant trees. It is through Dream League that I was able to make my new venture, the ‘Tree Movement,’ a reality. Dream League and Sarah Bernstein have taught me two very important lessons: Life is too short not to live your dreams, and there is no greater strength than a circle of powerful women.”

-Jamie Kramer 21015 GT_Woman.ai

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Christy Petrini Sales & Leasing Consultant

(231) 938-3800 • foxmb.com US-31 South, Traverse City, MI

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Grand Traverse Woman

IT'S OK TO BE

Happy

AFTER LOSS

BY RACHELLE GROCKAU

ABOVE, RACHELLE GROCKAU WITH HER SON, KANE. RIGHT, RACHELLE'S MOTHER, ARLENE GROCKAU, AND KANE.

PEOPLE SAY

there is no love like a mother’s love, and they are right. A mother’s love is forever, limitless and selfless. My mom was the epitome of selflessness.

I remember the first week of being a new mom myself and bringing my son home from the hospital. I looked to Mom for guidance. I remember asking myself if I would ever become as naturally selfless as she was, if I could be the mom that she had always been to me. It was a task I was willing to take on with her as my guide.

Three years ago, I can honestly say that I had everything I wanted. I had a healthy family, a great career, a wonderful boyfriend, and a son who was starting his kindergarten year. I was truly happy.

WHEN SHOCK SINKS IN Then, on Sept. 8, 2014, while my parents were vacationing in a remote area of South Dakota, I received a call from my dad that Mom hadn’t been feeling well that day. I chalked it up to nothing major. A short while later, however, I learned that she was being transported by ambulance to a larger hospital in Rapid City.

And then I learned that my mom had passed away.

When the shock began to sink its teeth into me, the emotions were so deep and so hurtful that I didn’t know how to deal with them because I had never had them before. Those emotions became a constant companion in the days and weeks to come.

I had to get up every morning and fight through my grief.

In the days after my mother’s passing, I felt like I would never be happy or whole again or never again laugh so hard that my stomach hurt.

Grief changed me, not only mentally, but physically. I was different. To put it bluntly, I wasn’t a nice person. Meditation and praying for peace were things I did daily.

As a single mother in my early thirties, I became

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lost, but I had to think of my son. I had to get up and be the best mother I could be for him. I had to be strong for him, and it was evident that getting help would be crucial, not only for my health, but for my son’s.

HEALING BEGINS I started writing. I started talking about my feelings to anyone who would listen. I cried… a lot.

I also learned of Michael’s Place, a local grief center in Traverse City. I went to Michael’s Place as soon as I heard of it.

I started attending the weekly women’s groups, and from the very first meeting, I felt a sense of hope. The women in the group were going through the same thing I was. They were facing the same challenges, the same fears. It didn’t matter if they were grieving the loss of a spouse, a child, a friend, a parent—we were all there to help, learn and listen to each other.

This group allowed me to think of my mom before she passed, the love she had for me, my dad, my brother and my son, and to realize she didn’t leave us because she wanted to.

I had just lost the one person who loved me more than anything in this world, and I knew I needed to persevere, because she would have wanted me to.

What I can tell you is that 3 years still only feels like 3 minutes. And 1,095 days feels more like seconds.

Rebuilding took time and patience, but somehow I found the strength each day to continue on. I dug deep to once again become that girl—the person I was raised to be.

I surprised myself. Over time, I have learned that I AM STRONG. I AM FIERCE. I HAVE BECOME ONE BAD-ASS WOMAN. I cry less now and smile more when I think about my mom. I know she

would be incredibly proud of who I have become and what I have achieved.

I still miss her more than I have ever missed anything or anyone in my whole life (though I feel like I need a new word because “miss” just really doesn’t cut it). I still have a pit in my stomach when I think about her. I still cry when I am alone, especially on tough days or days when I really just need to talk to my mom.

I have learned during my rebuild to be less jealous now when I see other girls with their moms.

My girlfriends, (and you all know who you are) have been my knights in shining armor through all of this. When they talk about their moms and post pictures on Facebook on Mother’s Day, I still cringe a little, but follow that now with a smile instead of a tear. Because for that moment, when I see how happy they are together, I get to think of my mom and our memories.

Thank you ladies for inviting me to “tag” along with you and your moms, as it makes me feel semiwhole again.

LESSONS LEARNED I’ve learned a lot since I lost my mom. I learned that it’s OK still to talk to her. And out loud. I know she hears me. I know she sees me. I’ve learned to love it when people tell me I look like my mom.

It’s probably the most beautiful thing anyone could ever say to me. And, most importantly, I’ve learned that it’s OK for me to be happy again.

My son recently said to me, “Mom, you just don’t make cheese omelets the way Grandma used to.” I looked at him, and we both started laughing hard, because he’s right. I can’t. It was a turning point to know he still remembered those little things. And I knew then, that she would always be there.

Rachelle Grockau is a sales manager at Great Wolf Lodge and Conference Center. Mom to one perfect 8-year-old boy, Kane, she’s a Northern Michigan girl who still holds tight to her Detroit roots.

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Grand Traverse Woman

A Therapist and a Life Coach walk upstairs from a bar...

Cathy & Earlene

The Workshop Brew and Mammoth Distillery, to be exact.

Life Coach, Cathy Colburn and Therapist, Earlene Blevins are teaming up to provide some awesome opportunities for girlfriends and soonto-be girlfriends to do some of what we call, “Inside Work.” We shop together, we eat together, we work out together ... it’s time for us to play together, and discover our wants and build a way to create our dreams. There is incredible power in doing this work in groups and we want you to take advantage of that energy. We also believe that

GIRLFRIENDS WHO PLAY TOGETHER, STAY TOGETHER!

Call us to schedule a group or to sign up on your own and meet new friends.

Cathy Colburn

231.715.1294 cathy@cathycolburn.com www.cathycolburn.com 21015 GT_Woman.ai 2 10/17/16

Earlene Blevins

231.486.0119 counseling@earleneblevins.com 7:03 www.earleneblevins.com PM

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Nicole Battista Client Advisor

(231) 922-2002 • foxbmwtc.com US-31 South, Traverse City, MI

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The Nutcracker • Dec. 7-9 Sounds of the Season • Dec. 15

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Grand Traverse Woman

The Year I Flew the Coop

(and found happiness)

BY CATHY FITZGERALD

CATHY AND HER HUSBAND, BILL.

MY HEART RACED as the doors closed and the plane set out to Ecuador. Was I really doing this? Was this really me? I was on my way to a country where I barely spoke the language, and I was doing it alone. Was I crazy?

It was Jan. 9, 2014, and the path of my life had just taken a huge turn! I was setting out on a new adventure, a journey all on my own. A journey that would eventually change my mind, heart, self and way of life.

The knot in my stomach tightened and, for just a moment, I thought the fear might take over and pictured myself yelling to get off the plane.

Before complete panic set in, I reminded myself to breathe. Sometimes the best thing you can do is not think, not obsess… just breathe.

Until then, I had spent my entire adult life as a wife, mother and business owner. It wasn’t perfect, but it was the life I had chosen. I was blessed with amazing children and grandchildren, I loved the years spent in my dance studio and in my photography business, and I had wonderful friends.

However, not everything was so great. My 24-year marriage was a disaster. I was depressed and 40 pounds overweight. In 2011, I learned my mom had Stage 4 uterine cancer. She’d been dad’s caretaker for over 40 years as he battled Parkinson’s. Suddenly I was responsible for caring for both of them.

The next few months were a blur of doctors’ visits, surgeries, chemo and learning to care for my dad. He passed away in 2011 from compli-

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cations with his Parkinson’s, and mom lost her battle to cancer in 2012.

The final straw came when I learned that my husband owned another home and had been living a double life with a girl in another state for two years. It was devastating news, but also the push I needed to get on with my life.

I immediately moved out, found myself an apartment, and started counseling. For the first time in years, I concentrated on myself.

PLANS TO CHANGE As I began to heal, I decided to travel. My plan was to travel for a few weeks, come back, work in my photography studio, then travel again, but my son-in-law Colin pushed me to dream bigger.

“You’re only going to get your toe in the water.

You should just go. Don’t set limits.”

In that moment, everything changed. I realized I didn’t always have to play it safe and do the predictable thing. My children were grown and doing well on their own, my parents had passed, and my marriage had ended. For the first time in my adult life, I only had to worry about me.

It was time to shake things up—to move past my fears and take a risk. Not simply to go on a little trip or take a few days off, but really go out into the world, meet new people, and experience other cultures. It was time to step completely out of my comfort zone.

Sharing my idea with others was a little intimidating. The path I was about to take was far from predictable. As I announced to family and friends

my plan to fly the coop, some were encouraging, others not so much. People don’t always understand or approve when someone chooses a life outside the box. I continually reminded myself to follow my heart. To move from dream to reality, I had to stay focused and start planning.

The first hurdle was finances. If I let go of my lease and all related expenses, that money could be used for travel. But with no income during the travel months, I also needed a “travel fund.”

Trying to figure out costs and where to store my furniture and belongings, I had an epiphany.

What if I just sold everything, saved the expense of a storage unit, and used the funds for travel?

That would work! By the next morning I had a list, sent messages to my kids asking what they wanted, and began posting pictures on Craigslist.

As I began to downsize and simplify, it felt like a weight was lifted. Enjoying life without all the clutter brought clarity. The lightness I felt as I shed my things (and troubles of the past) made me feel giddy.

I took time to enjoy the simple pleasures I hadn’t thought about in years—reading a good book, riding a bike, and noticing the shapes of clouds. I realized the less I owned, the more time I had to enjoy life and the people around me.

TAKING THE PLUNGE During the next 6 months, I finalized my photography business commitments, cleared my apartment, and worked on travel plans. Having traveled to Argentina and Uruguay before, I knew

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Grand Traverse Woman that I loved South America, so I worked hard on my Spanish and studied all the areas I wanted to see. I decided to visit Ecuador.

Purchasing a one-way ticket to Ecuador was so out of character for me that it was surreal, exhilarating and scary all at the same time. When I thought of leaving the familiar, my heart beat a little faster, but letting go of my expectations and fear of the unknown, I felt more alive than I had in years.

I left on Jan. 9, 2014, and spent 41 days in Ecuador. I struggled with the Spanish, was out of shape and felt weird putting used toilet paper in a bin instead of flushing.

But I also revisited the power of simplicity. My suitcase was heavy, so I started giving things away—my hair dryer, jewelry, extra shoes, make-up. All I really needed was sunscreen, bug spray, walking shoes, a few clothes to layer and my camera equipment. I even learned to get by without phone or internet for days at a time. I learned to relax and be content by myself. Travel changed me more than I could have imagined. I felt more alive than I had in years.

NEW ADVENTURES Two days before leaving Ecuador, I met a man, Bill, from Traverse City. He just happened to be on his own solo journey. It was a chance meeting that led to a “first date” of 33 days in Florida, then traveling to nine different countries in three and a half years.

Back in the states, instead of returning to Missouri, I moved to Traverse City. The simplicity of my new life made for an easy transition—everything I owned fit into my Toyota Rav4. Last February, Bill and I took another step in our journey together, exchanging vows on a mountaintop in New Zealand. It felt like a fairy tale.

I’m thankful every day for the year I had the courage to fly the coop.

Cathy Fitzgerald works as a wedding and portrait photographer in Northern Michigan. She lives a full and vibrant life, continuing to say yes to new adventures. You can see more of her story and photos on her website and blog www.cathyfitz.com. Or contact her at cathy@cathyfitz.com.

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Grand Traverse Woman

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A Whole New Life

Kyle Zemsta was so impressed by his wife’s weight loss results one year after surgery, he decided to have the procedure, too. Now they both have much more energy, stamina, and enjoy outdoor activities together.

“It’s been absolutely wonderful,” Katie said. “I’ve lost 120 pounds.

My health is excellent and my sleep apnea is gone. My new addiction is shopping. I can’t find anything I can’t fit into.”

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“Katie and Kyle have had great success. Doing all of the followup steps and having the full support of a spouse really helps achieve and maintain long-term good health. It’s been very rewarding to watch the Zemstas become healthy and active.”

- Steven E. Slikkers, MD Grand Traverse Surgery PC

Bariatric procedures are not for everyone. People qualify for weight loss surgery only if it is the best choice for their health and they demonstrate the required commitment, motivation, education, and medical history. Munson Medical Center’s nationally accredited program provides long-term support and thorough follow-up care.

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Bariatric Surgery Seminars Wednesday, November 15 | 6 - 8 pm Traverse City: Munson Medical Center Conference Room 1-3, Lower Level Via Video Conference at the following locations: Cadillac: Munson Healthcare Cadillac Hospital Charlevoix: Munson Healthcare Charlevoix Hospital Gaylord: Otsego Memorial Hospital Grayling: Munson Healthcare Grayling Hospital Manistee: Munson Healthcare Manistee Hospital Tuesday, December 12 | 6 - 8 pm Traverse City: Munson Medical Center; also available via video conference in Cadillac, Charlevoix, Gaylord, Grayling, and Manistee To learn more or to register for an upcoming seminar, call 800-533-5520, or visit munsonhealthcare.org/bariatrics.

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Grand Traverse Woman

THE PATH TO

BY ROBIN O’MALLEY

MANY OF MY FRIENDS have asked:

SIRI SALONEN PHOTOGRAPHY

What inspired your happy change?

Truthfully, if I had had my way, I would still be overseeing a quarter-million-dollar marketing budget, developing community outreach programs and writing newsletters. But life rarely goes as planned. After 22 years in an industry I felt certain I'd retire from, my path took an unexpected 180-degree turn.

THE FIRST MOVE

ROBIN AT HER SHOP IN INTERLOCHEN.

I started work in banking when I was 17. Never intent on climbing the corporate ladder, I stumbled into my niche when I was asked to assist with marketing while working in the loan department.

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ence with an active imagination, I soon led the organization's creative efforts. It was a dream job. I loved the diversity of my position and my co-workers.

Eventually, though, I bristled at the constraints of such a conservative environment. As a free spirit bound by corporate policies, procedures and political correctness, I felt the winds of change blowing.

At the time I felt anxious, confused and uncertain about my future.

The answer (I thought) came by way of a friend who encouraged me to become a real estate agent. I studied for and passed the licensing exam, gave notice and left my job at the bank with little fanfare.

Reading like a page from Margaret Wise Brown's children's book Good Night, Moon, my life became a series of goodbyes: good-

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Grand Traverse Woman

bye paycheck; goodbye benefits; goodbye pension; goodbye old friendships. But I knew that real estate wasn't my thing. I could sell ice to an Eskimo, but my heart wasn't in selling houses. Meanwhile my mind kept replaying past events, leaving me second-guessing my decision to quit. A ship without a rudder, I became withdrawn and depressed, adrift and longing for the social connections, steady routine and sense of purpose my former career had provided.

STILL TURNING When offered a position as administrative assistant at Sonny's Body Shop, I humbly and graciously accepted. No longer responsible for big budgets or a creative team, I answered phones, filed and opened mail. The crew was so fun. I loved it. Every. Single. Minute.

The laughter and camaraderie shared with the men at Sonny's filled a void left vacant since my departure from banking the year before. For the first time, I witnessed how a business operated from an entrepreneur's perspective, and I liked what I saw.

As I grew more confident each day, my creative juices started flowing again. Lying in bed one night, I started an online sale via Facebook called “Crap You Gotta Have” (CYGH) modeled after eBay. Shoppers bid on crap, deciding for them-

selves what an item was worth. My after-hours hobby, however, soon evolved into a viable business opportunity.

A self-described shopaholic (one Macy's Day Sale away from becoming a hoarder), I was well positioned for the challenge. Selling clothes, jewelry, household items and miscellaneous “crap,” I wanted to differentiate my page from the other yard sale sites on Facebook: CYGH would sell only new and like-new crap with zero drama to serious shoppers only.

To keep the page fun, each item included an amusing caption or humorous anecdote. More women joined the group, many for the entertainment as much as the deals.

When I ran out of items, I asked if anyone else had crap they needed help selling. Turns out, quite a few did.

Within a year, my basement became a thrift shop full of women's clothing and accessories.

CYGH grew from 50 friends to nearly 1,000 bargain shoppers, and I had six consignors. With CYGH’s ever-growing demands on my time, I had to make a choice: keep my day job or jump into entrepreneurship with both feet.

A NEW DIRECTION The answer became clear after I hosted a fashion show in my driveway. Along a chair-lined

runway under a snow-covered tent, I featured ensembles from the racks of my basement's Crap Shack.

Despite the weather, people came. In droves.

When my husband asked who one guest in the kitchen was, I hadn't a clue. In fact, many of the folks at my house were strangers. I knew then that the time had come to take the plunge.

I found a building in Interlochen perfectly suited to my vision of a consignment boutique: the home of “Mrs. O's Crap Shack.”

This summer marked one year at the Shack.

Now over 2,000 members shop crap from the closets of nearly 150 area consignors. I struggle to remember what life was like before the Shack, described by one woman as a sisterhood.

Nothing in life happens by accident. Each phase is part of a well-orchestrated plan laid out by the universe, putting us right where we need to be when we need to be there. Lao Tzu said a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. One giant leap of faith later, I've never looked back.

Robin O'Malley lives in Lake Ann with her husband, son, two dogs and a cat. She enjoys reading, watching Investigation Discovery and hopes some day to meet Detective Joe Kenda. You can find her on Facebook at “Crap You Gotta Have.”

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Grand Traverse Woman

M y Life -Long Battle AN D HOW I F OU N D A DOCTOR WHO LI STEN ED

EVER SINCE I can remember, I have suffered from headaches, on-and-off vertigo and daily nausea. In late summer of 2016, however, my head pain and vertigo became unbearable, with headaches lasting days or weeks at a time. I was a college-educated, happily married woman with two beautiful daughters, but I spent my life at home in bed letting everyone down.

SEEKING HELP I went to my long-time neurologist for help. After many visits and my crying in her office, she ordered a new MRI. The results were normal, but I did have an incidental diagnosis of Chairi Malformation 1 (CM). My official diagnosis, however, was “mood disorder.” I was furious. Horrific pain had become my daily nightmare, and I got a mental health diagnosis.

Eventually I was referred to a headache specialist downstate. I received no explanation or information on CM, other than surgery was the only option and they didn’t do that for headaches. After several trips, it was clear I was only going to be treated for migraines, so I decided to get another opinion.

For the next six months, I had multiple medication changes, more tests, MRIs, a lumbar puncture and even 11 days at an intensive inpatient clinic for headache management. I left with no resolution or relief. I even traveled downstate to consult a top neurologist and eventually a neurosurgeon, who quickly dismissed me as having only mild CM—not bad enough for him to help.

With each trip I felt anxious yet excited that maybe this would be the appointment when someone really listened to me and considered my symptoms. Maybe that would be the time they give me meds that will help the pain, but each time I left feeling more deflated. None of it helped. I felt completely on my own.

FEELING ALONE My symptoms continued to worsen. By that time, all I could do was crawl to work, then home to the couch, missing everything and letting everyone down because of pain that had moved to my lower back. I had numbness in

18

Nov/Dec '17

my left side, hands that often didn’t work, problems swallowing, sleep apnea, more vertigo and crushing headaches.

Through my own research, I learned that CM is a congenital neurological disorder that restricts cerebral fluid flow and compression on the brain stem. It can cause multiple symptoms, but my doctors had only focused on the headaches.

I found several support groups and learned that my story wasn’t so different. Many people had journeys similar to mine—they were not being heard, often judged by friends and family, and had doctors turning them away.

I quickly learned that the public knows very little about CM, and neither do many doctors.

They either don’t know about it or don’t take it seriously.

Through support groups, I learned that I needed a doctor who specialized in CM. There were very few, but one was in Michigan.

The day my husband asked me, “When will we get our lives back,” is the day I decided that doctor was my last hope. It was time I take hold of my future.

I scheduled a consultation. In the back of my mind I held little hope that this doctor would help me. I was so lost that I was starting to believe maybe chronic pain was my new normal. I had already decided this was my last doctor’s appointment—if she couldn’t help, then it was time to learn how to live life like this.

FEELING VALIDATED During the exam, the doctor asked my mother about my childhood and looked at all of my scans. When she asked me when I wanted to have my decompression surgery, I was stunned!

She listened, and she believed me! As I sat there and stared at her, I tried not to burst into

BY ANGELA GARDNER

tears. I felt joy and complete disbelief, and—of course—fear (brain surgery must hurt).

That day I scheduled my brain surgery, and the doctor gave me my life back. You see, CM is a disease of progression that can eventually put so much pressure on the brain stem it causes irreversible neurological damage. Surgery isn’t a cure, but an attempt to stop the progression of the disease.

TODAY A little over a year from the onset of debilitating symptoms, I had brain decompression surgery, a partial C1 laminectomy, cerebral tonsil cauterization and a cyst removed from my fourth ventricle.

Today I feel amazing. All my life what I thought was normal, was never normal. I still have occasional headaches, but my other symptoms are either gone or at a level of pain that I barely notice.

I don’t know what my future holds. Currently I don’t feel the need to have treatment by a neurologist; however I know that in the future I may.

I am not sure if I can trust the doctors I worked with in the past year, but at the same time I try not to blame them—they didn’t know.

So many of them just don’t know enough about this crazy disease.

I’ve learned that not all doctors know everything. We need to listen to our bodies, and learn to advocate for ourselves.

I have also learned to take control of my life and not wait for a doctor to do it for me.

I would never hesitate, however, to go back to the doctor who performed my surgery. She is literally my personal hero, and will be the first person I turn to if my symptoms return.

Angela Gardner and her husband are life-long residents of Traverse City. They have two adult daughters. Angela has spent most of her career as a social worker supporting children and families. Together she and her husband love to entertain at local weddings with their DJ services, and they give back to the community at charity events. For more information on Chiari Malformation, please go to www.conquerchiari.org. You can reach Angela via email at Angiegardner818@gmail.com.

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Grand Traverse Woman

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Grand Traverse Woman

How do you like your

HAVE YOU SEEN

the movie Runaway Bride? Do you remember the scene where Julia Roberts has plates of eggs, all cooked in different ways, spread out in front of her?

She had come to the realization that, in the process of trying to be what everyone else wanted her to be, she’d lost sight of who she was. She HOW I FOUND didn’t even know how she liked her eggs because she just ordered them MY OWN WAY the way others said she liked them!

BY EARLENE BLEVINS That may be one of my alltime favorite movie scenes, probably because I can relate so well. About six years ago, I had the opportunity to make my own plate of eggs, so to speak. I had a major life change (code for divorce). My kids were safely launched. I was also in a new job in a new town with no friends or family.

eggs?

WHO AM I? It was harder to make friends than I thought it would be, so I had a lot of time on my own. I think that is when I realized how much of what I had done with my life was determined by the influence and approval of others.

As a young woman, I had so many dreams, but along the way I had grown to believe that I couldn’t manage on my own—that I wasn’t smart enough, strong enough or competent enough.

Now, with no one to approve or disapprove of me, I was faced with having to make my own decisions. I hadn’t made my own decisions in so long that I didn’t know how to begin.

It was kind of like the feeling I had leaving the hospital with my first born, bewildered that the hospital was letting me take her, that they trusted I would know how to care for her.

I was determined to embrace my second chance at life, though, and prove myself worthy of the gift. I did some real soul searching.

I did a lot of inside work that included journaling, reflecting, meditating and repairing old wounds.

As a counselor, I understood the power of negative beliefs, so I took time to look at my own belief system. I started getting rid of irrational beliefs (i.e. lies) and finding my truths.

I am strong enough, I am wise enough and I am competent enough!

FINDING MYSELF My next step was to dabble in making my own decisions.

My first decision was where to live. For 25 years I had detested doing yard work, so I moved into a condo. I traded in the car that my ex-husband and my father approved of and bought a Subaru. I started cooking foods that I liked and found that I don’t like meat.

I bought clothes that made me feel happy. I realized that I love the outdoors, and started exploring all the incredible trails in our area. I

20

Nov/Dec '17

bought a bike and a kayak and cross-country skis—and I used them!

I remember wanting to paint my living room and getting opinions from lots of different people, until I realized that I didn’t even know what colors I liked. I took tons of those little paint samples from Home Depot and taped them all over the walls and just stood with each of them, choosing only the ones that gave me pleasure.

A friend invited me out to celebrate her birthday. When I got there, all of her friends were dancing. I didn’t even know if I liked to dance, so I shyly declined. Now I co-host dance parties! I once thought that I wasn’t a singer, but now I am in TC Sings. I even realized that my spiritual and political beliefs were really someone else’s too.

LIVING MY AUTHENTIC LIFE I’ve made friends with some incredible women. That, too, took more effort than I had

anticipated (I realized that most of my friends had been people I met through my children).

At a gathering one night, I met another divorced woman. When she was leaving, I practically chased her to her car and asked if she would be my friend. Now she is one of my best friends. I’ve made several friends that way—noticing a connection and pursuing it.

Now I feel honored to have a circle of friends that continues to grow. We support each other and have a lot of fun.

The most important lesson I have learned, in my own life and as a counselor, is this: when there is congruence between who I am and how I live my life, there is a sense of peace that allows me to live my best life.

I still have to take time regularly to do the inside work (through meditation, journaling, creative work, work in experiential groups, learning and counseling) because that is where I explore who I am, but now I know how I like my eggs!

Earlene Blevins is a licensed professional counselor. She has a private practice in the Warehouse District in downtown Traverse City. She enjoys working individually and with groups of women who are eager to explore their own incongruencies, so that they can live their best, most authentic lives.

She, along with life coach Cathy Colburn, offer women opportunities to do some of this “inside” work in safe, supportive small groups. Earlene can be reached at 231.486.0119 or counseling@earleneblevins.com.

www.grandtraversewoman.com

Grand Traverse Woman Traverse CiTy

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Joshua Davis The Way Back Home

Believe it or not…the holiday season is on its way!

Thursday, November 16 at 7:30pm

Join Leelanau County resident & NBC’s The Voice finalist Joshua Davis for an evening of story and song commemorating the release of his new album: The Way Back Home.

Forbidden Broadway Sunday, November 19 at 2pm and 7pm

The fall-down funny musical roast of Broadway targeting over 30 shows you know – Annie, Hamilton, Pippin, Kinky Boots, Les Miz, Wicked and more.

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Christmas Songs and Stories with John Berry Sunday, November 26 at 7pm

Mention John Berry’s name to just about any country music lover and the response will likely be, “What a voice!” This year marks his 21st consecutive Christmas concert series.

The Wizards of Winter Thursday, December 21 at 7:30pm

The holiday rock event for the whole family! The Wizards of Winter features original members of The Trans-Siberian Orchestra and other rock powerhouses. Join them on a musical journey inside a snow globe in search of the true meaning of Christmas.

www.grandtraversewoman.com

Nov/Dec '17 21

Grand Traverse Woman

WHERE MODERN STYLE MEETS ORGANIC

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derful time for teens to explore who they are, what they want and to create new friendships. It is a time in their lives when they want to be more independent, but still need the guidance of a parent.

Consequently, you want to find out what your teen is doing and be supportive, but your teen rolls her eyes, and says, “whatever!”

Because of all the developmental changes during these years, your teen may hit her siblings, have panic attacks or refuse to help around the house.

What is happening to my teen?

During the years of 12 through 24, a person grows into a young adult, causing his brain and social relationships to change. Due to this, parents can feel confused about how to support their child because he is now becoming his own person.

It can feel overwhelming to be supportive, especially if your teen is acting out in ways that you are not used to, such as feeling panic or loneliness or being agitated, and causing him to want to shut down, have panic attacks, harm himself or fight with friends and family.

I know the struggles of not being able to help our kids at all times, especially when they are challenging and seem confusing to us. Parenting does not always come naturally, and sometimes we need a little help.

You may be asking yourself: How can I help my teen? What can I do differently? Whom can I go to for help? Will a counselor be able to help my child and our family? What if my child doesn’t connect with a counselor? How will we afford it?

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Grand Traverse Woman

about your meditation in real time by translating your brain signals into the sounds of wind.”

Counselors have also utilized pulse oximeters to measure one’s pulse and show her how utilizing specific techniques to calm her system will change her heart rate. There are also numerous apps one can download which may help your child or you to learn techniques to calm your system when upset, sad, angry or even when feeling panic.

Finding a counselor A counselor can help teach you and your family other ways to handle big feelings, behavior issues and coping skills to make it through these growing years into adulthood. You can find a counselor by asking friends, colleagues, your family doctor or school social worker. You can also search the Internet through websites like www.Psychologytoday.com.

Researching a counselor whom you are interested in by reading her website or speaking directly to her will ensure a good fit for your family. This is a time to ask about fees, insurance, and her philosophy and practice. This is a way to ensure you will be providing your teen and family with the best care.

The ultimate goal is to teach your teen how to cope, so when he goes through a similar situation in the future, he is better equipped to help himself work through it.

Sarah Hubbell, LLPC, is a child and family therapist at Mental Wellness Counseling in Traverse City. She specializes in working with adolescents to young adults with depression, anxiety and trauma. For more information about counseling services, please visit www.mentalwellnesscounseling.com or contact Sarah Hubbell at 231.714.0282 ext.705 or sarah@mentalwellnesscounseling.com.

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231-929-1335

3 simple calming tricks for your teen: 1. Sit down as a family. Have each family member make a list of things they enjoy doing, which helps them to feel calm or happy. Some suggestions may include: listening to music, walking outside, drawing, coloring, reading, taking a hot shower/bath, talking to or playing with a friend.

Your teens can refer to this list when they are feeling overwhelmed and need help to distract their minds. As a parent, you can notice when your teens are feeling a little off and possibly suggest they try something from their list.

2. Learn how to belly breathe, which is deep breathing.

Everyone has the ability to take deep breaths. Learning to focus on one’s breathing will help calm mind and the body.

Teens can download an app on their phone to guide them through deep breathing exercises.

3. Take your teen to yoga. It sounds too simple, but yoga can help teach mindfulness, which calms the body and the mind. Some counselors also practice yoga in session for this reason.

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Grand Traverse Woman

Brick Wheels

SNOWDIVAPASS

Grand Traverse

WOMAN

GTWoman Network Nite Wednesday, Nov. 8 • 5-7pm

FOR WOMEN IN MOTION

IT’S FALL AND IT’S

Fabulous

Receive 20% off all clothing and accessories on the day of your choice.

Check out the latest for women by: Patagonia Northface Swix Pistil Fischer Salomon Craft SK-Hoop Choucas

Join us for a cool night of warm networking with area women. GTWoman events are focused on easy, fun connections made in a low-key atmosphere. Cue laughs, drinks and genuine relationships!

Tickets

Take your pass and be a diva!

SNOWDIVAPASS

20% OFF

Join Us!

Speakers & Prizes

YOUR 15 Seconds of Fame: If you’d like to donate a prize for the evening, email Kandace@grandtraversewoman.com.

We accept 10 women to take a moment at the mic to introduce themselves and give away a prize related to their business. Put a name to your face with other local women!

Wine & Appetizers

Bonus: We close the night with a slice of Aunt B’s famous cake!

Corporate Sponsor

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ON THE DAY OF YOUR CHOICE! Valid thru December 11, 2017

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Discount applies to all store merchandise at regular retail price.

Some restrictions apply. Cannot be used with any other offer.

Supporting Sponsors

231.947.4274 736 E. 8th Street Traverse City www.brickwheels.com 24

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Grand Traverse Woman

Hairport Salon and Spa is a full-service salon. Our staff is equipped with the latest techniques and products to provide you with high quality service options.

We would like to welcome Lisa Cannon to our creative styling team. Lisa comes from the Chicago area and has over 25 years experience.

She looks forward to a bright start in a wonderful community and welcomes new guests.

HAIRPORT SALON AND SPA 404 BRIDGE ST., ELK RAPIDS, MI 49629 231.264.8184 • www.hairportsalonandspa.com

Your journey begins here.

Let us help your family overcome the overwhelming and confusing process of planning for college both financially & academically.

It’s never too early to start.

Contact us for your

FREE ONE HOUR CONSULTATION.

Follow us on Facebook @rightpathccp

www.grandtraversewoman.com

Matt Breimayer Owner

Right Path College & Career Planning 510 Depot View Drive, Suite 13 Traverse City, MI 49686 Phone: 231.714.5001 Mobile: 231.668.1382 Email: matt@rightpathccp.com www.rightpathccp.com

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Love Welcomes All. Early Service in the Chapel at 8:15 am Upbeat & Casual Service at 9 am Traditional Service with Organ & Choir at 11 am

Every Sunday Morning tccentralumc.org 222 S. Cass Street Traverse City, MI 49684 231-946-5191 exploring faith & spirituality through worship

KARIN WITH HER HUSBAND, MATT.

Happiness CHOOSING

BY KARIN BEERY

THE SUMMER before I started college, I had the opportunity to work on the S.S. Badger in Ludington. I loved the idea of such a unique job on a car ferry, but spending 12-hour shifts making pizzas and cleaning up after people was not quite what I expected.

During my second week of sweeping—my least favorite of all chores—I realized I had a decision to make: spend the rest of the summer complaining about my job or start enjoying it.

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I can’t explain exactly what happened that day. I don’t know what it was that changed in my mind and heart, but I know that the next day I was excited to go into work. It didn’t take long before I looked forward to it.

And by the end of that summer, I loved my job so much that I spent the next four summers working on the car ferry, even passing up opportunities to study abroad so that I could spend as much time as possible on the Badger.

It was seven years later, at yet another frustrating job, when I once again found myself dreading the daily tasks required of me (there may have even been some tears).

As I hung up the phone after another complicated phone call with another disgruntled customer, my optimism tank was empty. I wanted nothing more than to find another job, but dozens of résumés yielded zero results.

Then I remembered my time on the car ferry. I still hated sweeping floors, but I hadn’t minded doing it on the Badger. That wasn’t because the ferry had better brooms and dustpans, or even that the ship was somehow cleaner or easier to sweep. It all had to do with

The Power Is In The Purity

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perspective. For some reason, when I worked on the Badger, I was able to disassociate sweeping with boring-monotonous-labor and re-associate it with my-favorite-job-ever.

That’s when I realized that it had nothing to do with my job or the situation: it was all about my perspective. I could choose to focus on things that annoy me, or I could choose to see the good around me.

REALITY That may sound like a cheesy platitude suitable for a kitten poster, but it’s an ideology that’s gotten me through a lot of difficult circumstances. Some were less monumental, like being transferred 10 times on the phone while trying to disconnect my television service.

Others were more life changing, like my husband being diagnosed with cancer less than a year after we got married.

Despite the severity of a situation, I soon realized that I always had a choice—would I focus on the good or focus on the bad?

As I write this, our country is reeling from the largest mass shooting in the nation’s history. And every day around the world, boys and girls are lured from their homes and into slavery. There always seems to be someone somewhere planning a way to hurt and destroy others. Putting on the proverbial rose-colored glasses doesn’t make that go away, and those situations shouldn’t be brushed aside.

But if I only focus on the evil in the world—if I only look at how people hurt each other and me—I’m missing out on so many amazing people and opportunities in life (like the record number of people who turned out in Las Vegas to donate blood—many waiting 10 hours according to news reports.)

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DAILY PRACTICE My high school basketball coach always told us that we would play how we practiced—if we didn’t take practice seriously, we wouldn’t perform seriously in a game. I think that’s true in life too.

How we respond to the little things is preparing us for how we’ll respond to the big things.

The likelihood that I’ll ever experience a major, international newsworthy tragedy is pretty slim. The chance that someone will cut me off in traffic, however, is pretty good (especially in Traverse City in the summer!) And in my little life in my little section of Northern Michigan, it’s those smaller, daily struggles that wear me down.

It’s true—most of the difficulties in my life are “first-world problems”: my computer crashing, the cat throwing up (again), or the washing machine leaking. These aren’t life altering, but when they all happen at once, or repeatedly, it doesn’t take long before all I see are the negatives.

Instead, I choose to see more than missed deadlines, stained carpet, and warped hardwood floors. I choose to see a reason to take a day off and read a book I’ve been wanting to read, an excuse finally to replace the bedroom carpet, and, well, warped hardwood floors.

I can’t change that, but it doesn’t have to ruin my day.

We all have junk in our lives. Rarely can we control it, though.

The only thing I can control is how I respond to it, and I choose to be happy.

Owner of Write Now Editing & Copywriting Services, Karin Beery lives in Elk Rapids with her husband, Matt, two cats and a dog.

She loves all things fiction, University of Michigan football and her husband (not necessarily in that order). You can connect with her at karin@karinbeery.com, or find her online at www.karinbeery.com.

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Passion FOR PROTECTION

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WOMAN

2017 GIFT GUIDE

NAUGHTY & NICE RED WITH ELF PANTS CARRIER Chateau Chantal shop.chateauchantal.com $34

TICKETS TO A SHOW City Opera House www.CityOperaHouse.org Certificates available in any amount.

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Crystal Mountain Spa www.crystalmountain.com Enjoy a $25 Bonus Spa voucher with every $99 Crystal Spa gift certificate purchased between 11/17-12/21/17.

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Sarah Brown Photography www.sarahbrown-photography.com Gift cards available!

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ay’s TodGolden-Fowler HOME FURNISHINGS

HAPPY, HEALTHY HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS 2016 ROSÉ OF CABERNET FRANC TREAT YOUR DOG

Pets Naturally and the Dog Bakery by Pets Naturally www.petsnaturallytc.com www.dogbakeryonline.com Planet Dog Xmas Orbee balls Small $14.99, Large $18.99 or Dog Bakery Christmas Beagle Brownies and hand dipped bones $6.99

45 North Vineyard & Winery www.45north.wine $26

Golden-Fowler Home Furnishings www.goldenfowler.com Enjoy a free Young Living™ Desert Mist Diffuser and Christmas Spirit essential oil plus two bonus oils with your purchase of $1,999 or more.* (A $100 value!

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Chic Design Company www.ChicDesignCompany.com Gift certificates available.

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DR. HAUSCHKA SKIN CARE

Oryana Community Co-op www.oryana.coop Dr. Hauschka 100% certified natural skin care products 20% off all December.

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Leelanau Peninsula Wine Trail www.lpwines.com $50 each or $225 for an entire year of events along the trail!

Thank you to our advertisers for your support all year long in GTWoman!

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WOMAN

2017 GIFT GUIDE

NOVEMBER IS CUSTOMER APPRECIATION MONTH!

Hairport Salon and Spa www.hairportsalonandspa.com 20% Off All Retail Items.

AESTHETIC CERTIFICATES MAKE GREAT STOCKING STUFFERS!

Grand Traverse Ophthalmology Clinic www.gtoc.net Gift certificates available in any amount.

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THINGS WE

THE EASIEST GIFT OF ALL....

A BURRITT'S CERTFICATE! Burritt’s Fresh Markets www.burrittsmarket.com Never expires and can be used on anything in the store!

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Shop local!

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GIVE THE GIFT OF LITERACY Traverse Area District Library www.tadl.org/donate Make a donation to the Traverse Area District Library in honor of a friend or family member and share the gift of reading with your community.

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HIDDEN TREASURES Premier Floral Design & Gift Emporium www.premierfloraldesign.com Located in The Village at Grand Traverse Commons. Come visit us today to find that hidden treasure of a gift!

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Fox Grand Traverse www.FoxGrandTraverse.com 4 select tires up to $140 off*

GIVE THE GIFT OF GREAT SKIN! Enlightened Living, LLC www.enlightenedlivingtc.com The Berry Beautiful Holiday Facial $85 (Normally $95)

*See dealer for details.

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Gift Certifica

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THE GIFT OF HAVING A PLAN FOR THE FUTURE GIVE THE GIFT OF RELAXATION WITH A SPA GRAND TRAVERSE GIFT CARD!

Grand Traverse Resort and Spa www.grandtraverseresort.com/gift-cards See our website for complete details.

HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS CONCERT TICKETS

Right Path College and Career Planning Facebook @rightpathccp Gift certificates available in any amount.

Traverse Symphony Orchestra www.TraverseSymphony.org $25.50, $38, $46

ONE-OF-A-KIND GIFTS Crooked Tree Arts Center www.crookedtree.org One-of-a-kind gifts created by Michigan artists and craftspeople.

ate Gift Certific

or 2nd flo nion St, 4 128 S U City, MI 4968 .com Traverse bijousalontc 4-5018 231-71

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Unique apparel and shoe collections.

Downtown Traverse City 231.932.0510

3-HOUR VISION BOARD PLAYSHOP

Earlene Blevins, Licensed Professional Counselor and Cathy Colburn, Life Coach www.cathycolburn.com www.earleneblevins.com $300 for a group of up to 8 women or $40 per person to join an open group

GIVE GREAT LAKES FINE ART Beth Price Photography printshop.bethpricephotography.com Fresh Water Fine Art Prints Starting at $40

WHIPPED BODY BUTTER, BUBBLY BATH BARS AND SHEA BUTTER SOAPS

Northern Michigan Soap Company www.nmsoapco.com Aritsan bath and body products available online or inside The Red Dresser in Traverse City. $7-$9 each

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GIVE THE GIFT OF CREATIVITY

Traverse City State Bank www.TCSB.com Available at the downtown branch in any amount.

Bayview Scrappers www.BayviewScrappers.com Cards available in any amount.

Thank you to our advertisers for your support all year long in GTWoman!

Nov/Dec '17 31

McLain

Grand Traverse Woman Lifetime Free Tune Ups Free Lifetime Bike Warranty 100% Back Trade Up Program for Kids McLain’s 3% Back Rewards Program

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3 AREA LOCATIONS 2786 Garfield Rd. N, Traverse City 750 E. 8th St, Traverse City 311 N Mitchell, Cadillac

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Bring your happ community bike TC Rides is a , pedal together ride where we , ring our get some exercise We will use FUN. bells, and have bicycle to build the s, the power of new neighbor community, meet ss for the and create awarene of people on growing presence City. bikes in Traverse

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BETHANY DESIGN

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LORI KEVWITCH AT THE VILLAGE AT BAY RIDGE, WHO SAYS IT HAS BEEN “MORE THAN JUST A JOB FOR THE PAST 17 YEARS.”

Fast and affordable design work

logos • ads • posters • brochures • business cards • invitations • magazine/book layout

THEY CALL ME THE

BY LORI KEVWITCH

A FEW WEEKS AGO,

the leasing agent where I work called and asked me to meet with her. She had this crazy idea that I write about my job at The Village at Bay Ridge and how she’s given me the name “Queen of Clean.”

THE PATH OF NECESSITY In the beginning, nursing was my passion. After getting married at only 19 and having two sons, however, nursing school was not possible, so I worked in the housekeeping department at a local retirement home. There I discovered my “eye for detail,” a skill I inherited from my Grandma Chaney.

I didn’t want to give up on my passion for nursing though, so, while working in housekeeping, I also trained to become a resident aide, now called a CENA (Competency-Evaluated Nursing Assistant).

My family relocated to Grand Traverse County, and my husband and I tried to make our relationship work for the sake of our family. After 18 years, however, we separated for good, and I found myself working at a local store. In the next two years, I met my second husband, got married, and had another son. Life was good.

Eight months later, in November 2000, I saw an ad for a new senior community that was under construction and taking applications for a housekeeper. The community was The Village at Bay Ridge.

THE PATH TO BAY RIDGE I was interviewed in a small trailer at the top of a construction site and toured through a building of only bare drywall. I even had to wear a hard hat as the maintenance man explained what they were building and where everything

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would be. That’s why I always say I’ve been at Bay Ridge as long as the drywall. (My boss, Linda Scott, says I came with the building.)

I got the job and started before the Village opened. The biggest task was cleaning up behind construction workers to get the three-story, 120-apartment complex up and going with only the maintenance man and I doing the work.

(I ended up working for that maintenance man, whom I referred to as “Boss,” for 10 years.) I often felt like one of Carol Burnett’s characters because when I started I only had a broom, a bucket and a rag. As the only housekeeper for such a large building, I learned what being tired really meant.

A year after Bay Ridge opened, I was approached about moving into the on-site after-hours emergency call apartment. My husband had also started working at Bay Ridge as a maintenance assistant (he still works there), so we moved our family into the apartment. While we were there, even our son Joshua got involved with the residents. When he was 3 years old, we bought him a battery-operated Jeep, and my husband made him a trailer that would attach to the back of it. We would take dinner deliveries in the trailer to our residents who couldn’t make it to the dining room for dinner.

Our residents loved to see his sweet young face at their door!

AN UNEXPECTED DESTINATION Over the years, the emergency calls have varied from something as simple as needing a housekeeper to someone being hurt, sick, or on the floor needing help to get back on their feet. I’ve also had family members pull the emergency cord just to see what it does.

When something happens, I call 911 and stay with the residents, providing comfort until help arrives. Something as simple as sitting on the floor with them or holding their hands can help keep them calm.

These days, we still live at Bay Ridge with our 17-year-old son and 15-year-old nephew. (I do lots of cleaning right in our apartment!) Seven years ago, the campus added another building with another 120 apartments. I now supervise and clean both buildings with my housekeeping assistants. In November, I will have been at Bay Ridge for 17 years! The leasing agent says I still have the energy of a teenager, but my energy is fueled by coffee and laughter.

As the housekeeping director, it makes me proud when a new resident and his/her family compliment me on how clean the apartment is when they move in. But this job is about more than being the “Queen of Clean.” At Bay Ridge, my nursing dream has been partly fulfilled. I get to use my bedside manner to comfort residents as I handle emergency situations while keeping a level head. I feel blessed to have the ability to say I built the housekeeping department up from boards and drywall while also getting to fulfill part of my passion for nursing.

Lori Kevwitch and her husband, Darian, live at Bay Ridge with their son, Joshua, nephew, Phoenix, and dog, Riley. When she’s not working, Lori enjoys cooking and baking. For the past four years, she and the Bay Ridge activities director, Jenny Gray, have organized a bake sale to raise money for Down Syndrome.

Buy One Get One

See it all this fall and save!

Purchase a pair of prescription eyeglasses or sunglasses and receive a pair of equal or lesser value ($250 max.) free.

Current eyeglass examination is required.

This offer includes designer frames and prescription sunglasses. * Some restrictions apply, see store for details.

Offer also valid at Midland and Mt. Pleasant locations.

www.facebook.com/TraverseVision 336 W. Front St. | Traverse City, MI | (231) 941-5440 traversevision.com

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WHAT’S FOR DINNER?!

Stop in to see the professionals at Burritt’s Fresh Markets and let them help you solve this daily dilemma.

Whether you’re looking for a quick meal to heat and serve, or ingredients to make something from scratch, we have you covered. Need a meal or appetizer idea? Just ask!

Serving Traverse City since 1987.

509 West Front Street, Traverse City www.burrittsmarket.com 231-946-3300 In a hurry? Call your order in!

GIVE AND ENJOY Enjoy a $25 Bonus Spa Voucher* with every $99 Crystal Spa Gift Certificate purchased between Nov. 17 and Dec. 21.

Certificates are good toward any Spa service, which includes use of infrared saunas, steam rooms and hot tubs. * Bonus certificate valid 1/2/18 — 11/30/18. Some restrictions may apply.

M A K E IT YOU R MOMEN T. C R Y S TA L M O U N TA I N . C O M

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844.782.2208

www.grandtraversewoman.com 41174 GT Woman, Nov-Dec, Crystal Holiday Retail Ad Final .indd 1

Nov/Dec '17 35 10/16/17 4:27 PM

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HAND-STITCHED BEGINNINGS

BY ROSE SOMA

THE FIRST-EVER Rosemarie Soma design showcased in public was a “skirt” that I hand-sewed in the first grade and insisted on wearing to school. Thankfully, I wore tights underneath and my teacher came equipped with safety pins, as it was only a matter of time before it fell to my ankles during recess.

I grew up in a creative environment. My mother is an artist, so the tendency for me to create came quite naturally from an early age. I can’t even remember learning to hand-sew—it felt as if I was born with the skill—but I do remember my mom teaching me how to use the sewing machine at age 8.

In middle school, I began watching YouTube, and discovered a community of crafty people sharing tutorials and videos of themselves making clothing (little did I know I’d be one of those YouTubers myself in a couple years’ time!).

Inspired by what they were doing, I wanted to do it myself. I completed a couple of projects using old clothing I didn’t wear anymore.

In my junior year of high school, I completed my AP Studio Art 3D Concentration on dress design, creating a collection of ten different dresses. I didn’t have direct inspiration for this collection. I just knew that I wanted to make clothing, so I made it, eventually assigning a romantic, feminine theme to the collection to make it more cohesive.

THE FASHION CHALLENGE Then came the “Trashion Fashion Show,” where high school students from all over the region create outfits using unconventional items and compete on the runway. I probably was a little too invested in that competition. I spent about 20 hours creating a dress made from cellophane and plastic bags, but I told myself, if I won, I could try to be a fashion designer.

I took first place that year (and the next), which led me to start my business making clothing and artwork. I haven’t looked back.

I often work for less than I should, sometimes for free, in order to get my name out there. Finding the balance between living in the moment and enjoying my youth while prioritizing entrepreneurial growth has been a challenge. Many times I choose sewing over socializing, designing over dates, and projects over parties. I don’t think about what I’m “missing out” on because the payoff is always worth the sacrifice.

MANY TIMES I CHOOSE SEWING OVER SOCIALIZING, DESIGNING OVER DATES, AND PROJECTS OVER PARTIES. I DON’T THINK ABOUT WHAT I’M “MISSING OUT” ON BECAUSE THE PAYOFF IS

ALWAYS WORTH

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UP-CYCLING FUTURE PLANS My business thus far has been predominantly creating custom artwork. I’ve done dozens of commissioned projects, from skateboard decks to murals to clothing. Although I love doing odd jobs, one of the most crucial aspects of my business is my YouTube channel, where I’m able to focus on doing what I love: up-cycling.

Up-cycling clothing is using old clothing or other recycled materials and repurposing them into something new. This technique has gained popularity in recent years as the world becomes more environmentally aware. It’s the driving force behind the ideas for my future business.

Although I’ve already made the move to up-cycling clothing, I’ve barely scratched the surface when it comes to all my plans. I want to make a difference and have an impact on the world.

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DESIGN DREAMS Though it’s my passion, I understand that designing high-fashion clothing isn’t exactly helping the world. To combat this, I’ve come up with a business plan that combines fashion design with helping and educating others, all while keeping clothing out of landfills.

On one side of the world we have the consumeristic fashion industry.

On the other side of the world we have people who need clothing—the same clothing that thrift stores throw away every single day. We cycle through so much clothing that, even if we donate it, the resellers run out of space and throw it away. Our landfills shouldn’t be filled with things that other people need. That’s why up-cycling is incredibly important: We can’t keep wasting as much as we are.

My dream is to own a clothing line in which each piece is made from quality, second-hand material. Then I’ll go to other countries with supplies and knowledge to teach communities how to use their resources to up-cycle. Others will be able to create and teach future generations using harvested, unwanted clothing from thrift stores that will be shipped to these communities. I’m hopeful that earning my business and fashion degrees will equip me with the proper skills needed to turn these ambitious dreams into solid plans, and eventually, reality.

www.grandtraversewoman.com

Aaron

Heather

Rose Soma is a 19-year-old freelance designer who graduated from Traverse City West Senior High and is studying fashion design and business at Western Michigan University. She focuses on up-cycling: taking old clothing and recycled fabric to create completely new pieces. To keep up with her up-cycling endeavors, watch her videos, and check out her previous work, visit www.rosemariesoma.com, www.youtube.com/rosesoma00, and follow her on Instagram: @rose.soma.

www.grandtraversewoman.com

Nov/Dec '17 37

Grand Traverse Woman

A COUNTRY CHRISTMAS with Lee Smith

BY KRISTEN LOWE BILL AND LEE SMITH

up M-72 in Leelanau County on the way to the Sleeping Bear Dunes is hilly and wooded. Depending on the season, it’s either lush green, gorgeous shades of gold or peacefully snow-covered.

If you blink, you might miss one of the area’s sweetest secrets: Country Christmas.

The tiny Christmas store nestled in the hills was opened by Lee and Bill Smith in 1983.

“One day we were driving by here and saw this place for sale and stopped,” Lee said. “I thought, ‘Wow, we could put Christmas in here!’”

Bringing Christmas to the old antique store wasn’t hard for Lee, who was always crafting as a young mom. She began teaching classes in the store, hiring other ladies to teach as well.

“Some painting, Santa building... whatever struck our fancy, we’d try it!” Lee said.

Today the store is filled with her creations: from Santa ornaments crafted from driftwood found on the Lake Michigan shore to ornaments personalized by Lee herself. If Lee didn’t make it, there’s a good chance another local artist did. Throughout the store, there are collections from artists across the state. Red tags let shoppers know what was made in Michigan.

“We have so many visitors to the area and they like taking something home that was made here,” Lee said.

Perhaps the biggest fan of Lee’s artwork is her husband, Bill. The college sweethearts met at Central Michigan University. They’ve been married nearly 60 years.

“She’s old school... waste not, want not... everything has a use,” Bill said. He points to shadow boxes Lee crafted from old jewelry boxes. “This is typical of Lee’s creativity. She’s modest about it, but it’s a gift she has.”

It’s those unique gifts that have kept loyal customers coming back for more than 30 years. Even though it’s tucked away, the shop has continued to

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bring in new customers who are simply intrigued when finding a charming storefront in a somewhat rugged terrain. “‘We’re on the way to the sand dunes,’” Lee said.

“A lot of people will come back down this road and say, ‘Let’s stop there.’ At least that’s what they tell us!”

Traverse City’s heavy summer tourism and quieter winters may cause a lot of people to ask: Why Christmas? Creativity and art can surely lend itself to a more versatile subject for a store, some would say.

For Lee, the answer is simple. As a young artist, she always loved making things for the holidays the most.

“It’s just a happy time, you know,” Lee said.

“Joyful, definitely.”

Lee and Bill open the shop Memorial Day weekend through Christmas Eve. They spend the long Northern Michigan winters making inventory for the store. Their favorite thing to make together: Santa statues, fashioned from vintage chocolate molds.

They fill the molds with a chalk mixture, let them dry and paint them by hand.

Lee puts one of those statues back on the shelf, telling me about their winter projects with a smile on her face. Bill takes his wife’s hand, joking with her that she shouldn’t be so modest about her creative talent, as she giggles and looks away. Of all the beautiful things at Country Christmas, the best by far is the love that’s evident between its two owners.

“She’s the most creative person I’ve ever met. I’m a little biased; that’s what happens when you’re married for a long time,” Bill said. “But anyhow, she’s good, and she’s as good a person as she is an artist.”

Originally from the Saginaw area, Lee has lived in Traverse City for more than 50 years. In her free time, she loves crafting for the store and spending time with her husband, Bill, and two grown sons, Terry and James. See more about the store at www.countrychristmastc.com.

TUNE IN! All year, Grand Traverse Woman and 7&4 News profile some of the most powerful women in Northern Michigan. Look for Kristen Lowe's reports on 7&4 News and her articles in every issue of Grand Traverse Woman.

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THE PICTURESQUE DRIVE

Grand Traverse Woman

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Nov/Dec '17 39

Grand Traverse Woman

BEATING THE ODDS WITH

HUMOR ‘I was told I wouldn’t live past 21. I’m now 62!’

BY CAROL TOMPKINS-PARKER

AS A CHILD, I was always thin, sickly and in pain. No one knew why.

It wasn’t until Valentine’s Day 1974 when some of the puzzle pieces finally came together. It all started with a canoe trip.

Twelve hours after graduating from high school in early June 1973, about a dozen Senior Girl Scouts from Crooked Tree Council embarked on a 60-mile trip down the Manistee River. Two days later, parents plucked tomato-red sunburned daughters from the waters. Sadly, I was the worst burned.

My parents had minimal sympathy for my sunburn, but they were concerned about my painful, swollen joints. I couldn’t walk upstairs to bed, so I slept on the couch in the parlour. Every joint hurt and felt hot, and many were visibly swollen.

As the sunburn lessened, my body pain increased. When I woke up and could not see, I was rushed to the Traverse City Osteopathic Hospital where I spent the next four weeks. Tests and X-rays were inconclusive. My symptoms perplexed the doctors. I was eventually diagnosed with rheumatic fever, then discharged.

A referral to the University of Michigan Hospital started a lifetime of more testing, bloodwork, X-rays, poking and prodding. Every eight weeks we drove to Ann Arbor. I felt like a dang pincushion and asked for a spigot for the tubes of blood taken.

“borrowed” medical books to research my ailments and prognoses.

To date I’ve had 34 surgeries—17 orthopaedic, including titanium plates, pins and screws. One screw even loosened and moved. I literally have a screw loose! I rode my bike last summer not knowing I had a broken hip. My hardware has set off alarms at LAX Airport (I thought it was cool; TSA officials did not).

My most recent procedure was emergency gallbladder surgery in April. Since then, my diet has dramatically changed, and I have become unable to eat most foods. My hypersensitivity to smells has heightened, worsening the ordeal. (I highly discourage gallbladder surgery as a weight loss program; I have lost 30 pounds and am holding at 100 pounds).

My husband and I struggle to find foods and places for me to dine. I’ve started seeing three new specialists since the start of this year with no solution in sight.

A HEARTBREAKING DIAGNOSIS

MY PERSPECTIVE

Then that fateful day in February 1974, at age 18, I was finally given a diagnosis: juvenile rheumatoid arthritis and systemic lupus. That was the day Dr. James Cassidy, my physician and head of pediatric rheumatology, told my family I would not live past 21 due to multiple severe organ, joint involvement, autoimmune issues. He had given my parents an expiration date for their eldest child.

While friends were attending college, I was under a medical microscope.

Lengthy stays at local hospitals and at U of M provided opportunities for adventure exploring tunnels and organizing wheelchair races. It would take me 10 years to acquire my Bachelor’s Degree in Art Education from Wayne State University because of my illnesses.

FOUR DECADES LATER Despite my original diagnosis, medical advancements have prolonged my life. I have endured enough X-rays and radioactive isotope scans that I should glow in the dark. I’ve had enough blood removed to fill a kiddie swimming pool. I lost count of the MRI, CT, cardiac, brain, and ultrasound scans, often joking that I’ve had everything but a prostate exam! I have baffled and proven the specialists wrong all my life. I am now 62!

Since 1974, I have also been diagnosed with partial temporal seizures, osteopenia, traumatic brain injury (TBI) from a bike crash, monoclonal gammopathy of undetermined significance (MGUS) and more. Each new diagnosis requires referral to another new doctor. My night table looks like a small pharmacy. I’ve

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Over the decades, however, I have become proactive regarding my health, questioning everything and learning to roll with punches. Self-pity accomplishes nothing.

Humour, the occasional dark beer, and antics help, though. Launching friends from garbage cans, riding my mountain bike down the slopes at Crystal Mountain Resort, entering eating competitions (and winning), discovering “Monty Python,” squirt gun fights at work—the list goes on.

Exercise also helps me survive. Cycling is my favorite non-weight-bearing exercise. I met my husband, Edward Parker, at a bike race nearly three decades ago; we currently own only 12 bikes. He is my rock, protector, personal chef, and love of my life. I cannot imagine my life without him.

I do take my many ailments seriously, but life is too short not to enjoy it. As a child, I was always thin, sickly and in pain. As an adult, I am still thin, sickly and in pain, but I am grateful to have survived every single day.

People think I am strong, but I am just me. Through it all, I have learned to handle a lifetime of medical challenges with humour and a positive attitude to survive.

Carol Tompkins-Parker was born near Swindon, England, but is a nearly lifelong resident of Traverse City. A former art teacher, she is the ultimate volunteer, gardener, cyclist, artist, cultural supporter and connoisseur of pie, with a warped sense of humour. She can be reached at 231.360.8773 or edbob3761@yahoo.com.

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Grand Traverse Woman

How one little note can change your (work) life

BY JILL WASHBURN

WE GROW UP being taught to send thank you notes for gifts. The birthday gift from your next-door neighbor, the Christmas gift from Grandma, the graduation gift from your aunt; all of them were supposed to be thanked with a note. Mom said it’s just good manners.

You get out into the world and everybody tells you to make sure that you thank the person who interviewed you for your job. It helps to make a good impression, they say.

Once you land the job, then what?

Well, I’ll tell you... most people never say “thank you” again.

But gratitude in the workplace and a well-written thank you note can do wonders for your career. It is a phenomenon that I have experienced myself, and one that I wish I would have figured out sooner than I did.

A few years ago, I was in between jobs and had gone back to school. I was approached by a TV station where I had previously worked and it was my favorite career stop. They asked if I would consider returning on a temp basis to produce their public affairs shows while a former co-worker was out on medical leave. I had never held the title of “producer” before, but I was fairly confident that I could do a great job at it.

Plus, it worked with my school schedule, so it was a great fit.

The job was to handle the community affairs shows that run on weekend mornings. While not highly viewed, they are critical to a station’s existence, as they are

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Nov/Dec '17

among the requirements that enable stations to retain their FCC licensing. I booked guests, wrote scripts, managed crew, backtimed the shows, and did anything else that was needed, whether it fell under my job description or not. I took to the job like a fish to water, enjoying it much more than I anticipated.

My show guests were often community activists, local officials or staffers of charitable causes. Very early on, I had a show where I just really loved all of the guests. I decided to write notes to each of the four guests to thank them for doing our show.

The response was unexpected and unbelievable. They wrote back wonderful things about our show and thanked me for the opportunity. One woman, who was doing amazing things in the community, wrote back that she had never been thanked before for what she did.

Many offered to introduce me to their various connections for future shows. That was when the light bulb really went on: these were offers to connect me with other people.

I had never been a rock star in the networking game, but now I had people offering to do it for me. My network started growing exponentially. I made it a habit from that point forward always to thank the guests. It meant writing four or five short emails a week.

I tried to pick out at least one specific thing to comment on for each of them. It might be their great attitude that made my job easier. It might be the valuable information they brought to our viewers. It might be that the dress one wore was a beauti-

ful color. Even the occasional guests who were prickly to deal with would at least get thanked for their time and effort to come in and do the show. I wouldn’t have had a show without them.

With this new knowledge implanted, I started thanking more people for more things. Certainly, my own co-workers deserved gratitude for the things that they did, for going the extra mile to problemsolve and get past obstacles. I made sure they knew that I knew what they had accomplished.

Then, I took the concept a step further.

New on a different job and doing my best, I kept making some small mistakes. I just hadn’t been told how things were supposed to be done, but the skeleton crew that was on the late shift had little tolerance for missteps. One woman, in particular, dressed me down for it.

In the short time that I had worked there, this woman had been consistently rude and short with me despite my best efforts to win her over. The direct verbal assault really stung. I choked back tears on the drive home. I wanted to lash out at her. Instead, I did the opposite.

I went home and wrote her a thank you note. In it, I recognized that I had made mistakes and how that must be frustrating for her. I told her that I realized her comments came from a good place and because she cared about the quality of the product that we were putting on the air. And I thanked her for having my back. I made sure that the sentiments in the note came from a genuine place of gratitude in me.

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I could never have predicted the response she had. The note was never mentioned, but her attitude toward me took an immediate 180-degree turn.

She was instantly nicer to me. In a heartbeat, she went from adversary to ally. She started answering questions, showing me procedures, offering advice. She would come by my office and just chat, filling me in on station history and hearsay. We maintained a friendly relationship throughout the job and even beyond it.

That is the power of well-timed, well-written thank you notes.

They don’t have to be long and elaborate. They don’t have to be flowery. In fact, I find that short, simple and direct is quite effective. More along the lines of “You did ______ for me and I am so grateful for it. I just wanted to make sure that you knew how much I appreciate your ______ (time, effort, advice, etc.)” Use your own words. Just make sure that it originates from the heart.

Jill Washburn is a long-time Michigan resident and the communications director for TransportHER.com. Jill has spent much of her previous career in the media world. In her free time, she is obsessed with paddle boarding on Lake Michigan and running. She is married with one child and three dogs.

Thank You Tips Thank them for what they think they’ve done.

Sometimes people will think they’ve done more for you than you will think they’ve done. Either their perspective is off or yours is. Doesn’t matter. Thank them for what they think they’ve done.

In the rush of work and life, sometimes we miss some of the details or take them for granted.

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Don’t write notes or thank people because you’re trying to build your career. That’s not the right motivation. Write the note from a position of genuine gratitude instead. The fact that it will help your career is just a happy little by-product.

Thank everybody for everything.

Are you serious? Yeah, kinda. I thank a lot of people for a lot of things now. Most of us are putting out more effort than other people realize. It’s nice when that gets recognized. And people really respond when they know that you appreciate what they are doing.

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Nov/Dec '17 43

Grand Traverse Woman

I AWOKE at 2 a.m. feeling nauseated. Even though I was lying down,

BETHANY ROTH (LEFT) WITH HER DAUGHTER, KATIE, AND MOM, DARLEEN.

Searching for an answer How one woman was finally diagnosed with epilepsy

BY BETHANY ROTH

I felt dizzy. My breathing was heavy because my heart was racing, and I felt the sensation of blacking out, which scared me because I was home alone.

I started hyperventilating and couldn't catch my breath. As I started to get up, I felt like I was going to vomit. Then I fell to the floor as my vision went completely black. I woke up later in a cold sweat, shaking and unable to breath. I grabbed my phone and dialed 911.

The scary part was that this wasn't the first time it had happened. It had been going on since I was 16 years old.

The first time it happened, I was shopping with my mom when I felt nauseated and weak. The room darkened, even though my eyes were open, my limbs went numb and I collapsed.

When I awoke, I vomited on the floor, and the store clerk called 911.

I felt completely out of control and alone, even though my mom was by my side.

Years later the only diagnosis I had was syncope (fainting). As a single parent, my daughter had witnessed my episodes her entire life, and I could see the fear in her eyes when they happened. She learned how to dial 911 at an early age, "just in case," and knew to call her Nana when she was scared.

Finding answers However, that morning was the worse episode I had ever had. As the EMTs were leaving my house, I promised to go to the ER as soon as someone could drive me. That began my journey through medical tests, specialists and a lot of medical debt. Tired of feeling alone, scared and hopeless, however, I was determined to find answers.

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Grand Traverse Woman

I saw every type of specialist under the sun, and had several tests, including having a heart recorder implanted in my chest, MRI, EEG, EKG's, stress test, colonoscopy and endoscopy.

After each test, anxiety built as I waited to hear the results. I was disappointed each time they said the test was normal or negative—I wanted answers. I felt like I was going crazy.

After several frustrating years and many episodes, I finally landed in the right doctor's office. On Wednesday, after an EEG, the technician insisted that I follow up right away with my doctor. I knew something was wrong.

I had a pit in my stomach all weekend until my neurologist's office called Monday morning and said the doctor wanted to see me that day.

Getting a diagnosis I was scared. So many worries rushed through my mind about going through this alone and as a single parent. I went to my neurology appointment and was told that I have epilepsy.

What? I didn’t have seizures. I had been told my entire adult life it was an odd presentation of syncope.

Anxiety and depression got to me, and I broke down in tears. I felt so lost and helpless. I was already stressed working as a single mom in a demanding social work career. I was used to giving to and helping others, but I had to learn to help myself and be an advocate for myself.

The view today Just eight weeks after finding out, I am managing my diagnosis well now. I have days when I feel “off” and my fears resurface, but I feel more secure knowing what is going on within my own body.

I’m taking care of myself to minimize my medical issues, I’m still educating myself and I’m pushing through the bad days knowing there are better days ahead. I’m not sure what the future holds for me, but I know I will always find strength in the inner voice that tells me to be strong.

Throughout this experience, I have found that, no matter what issue you are dealing with, it’s important to educate yourself and explore options. It’s also OK to question doctors and present them with information. No one knows you better than you do, so share that information with those who are trying to help you.

Reaching out for help has taught me many lessons. I have learned its OK to be independent and ask for help at the same time. I think that we, as women, are always trying to prove that we are “strong enough,” but doing everything by ourselves is not what strength is. Strength is connecting with others and supporting one another as friends, sisters, mothers and daughters.

My now-11-year-old daughter is observing her mother overcoming, and she’s learning to be a strong female herself. I am rising above the struggles and helping my daughter overcome her fears as I overcome my own.

Bethany Roth is a Traverse City native and mother to an 11-year-old daughter. Bethany has worked as a social worker for 21 years, and she loves helping people and animals. She enjoys Zumba, running and relaxing at the beach. If she can help you on your journey, email her at bthroth2006@gmail.com.

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Nov/Dec '17 45

Grand Traverse Woman

BEING A MODERN HUMAN IS HARD. There’s a constant battle for our attention—career, kids, spouse, spouse that acts like a kid, pets, emails, new technology, new Netflix series to binge watch—the list seems endless.

All these things are perceived as stress by our brains.

Why does that matter?

Because our brains can’t separate internal stress from external stress. Whether you just got an irritating email from your boss, you’re anxious about who the Bachelor will pick, or you’re literally about to be eaten by a lion, the stress response is the same.

When you experience stress, your brain triggers a sequence of events involving several different parts of the brain, nervous system, adrenal system, hormones and more—all so your body can protect you from the impending perceived threat. This is an incredible and intricate process that happens so quickly that most BY of usCATHY don’t even know it’s happening.

FITZGERALD The only problem is that most of us never turn this stress response off. Our bodies’ stress signals are constantly firing.

The Year I Flew the Coop

5 WAYS

TO FIGHT STRESS

FOR A HAPPIER, HEALTHIER YOU

BY BETH BARBAGLIA, MBA

5 Ways To Combat Stress, Boost Your Mood and Improve Your Brain Interestingly enough, the same things we do to improve our physical health will improve our mental health and help alleviate stress. That’s because no system in the body operates by itself—it’s one big, interconnected, beautiful system.

Here’s how you can help your mind and body combat the damaging effects of stress: 1. Eat Good Food: The link between our brains and our guts has become a mainstream concept. A 2014 neuroscience symposium called the investigation of the gut microbes a “paradigm shift” in brain science. The bottom line is this: extensive research has found that what we eat affects our brains and our brains affect our mood and quality of life.

2. Move More: Exercising has long been known to release “feel good” endorphins, giving you an instant mood boost. Many people also find the act of exercising itself to be stress relieving. The key here is to do something you like. The best workout is the one you’ll do.

3. Sleep Right: Our bodies desperately need

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Nov/Dec '17

So What? I’m Stressed.

The effects of chronic stress may be wider reaching than you think.

Recently, more and more health research is focusing on the mind-body connection.

Leading institutions like Harvard, Columbia and UCLA have dedicated entire departments to studying and understanding the connection between our minds and bodies.

Today, researchers have increasing amounts of evidence and widely acknowledge the mind’s role in both disease and healing.

Stress is making us physically sick. And when we’re physically sick, we’re often miserable. to sleep so they can detox, rebuild and repair.

Dr. Don Colbert once described sleep deprivation in this very relatable parable about Disney World: Disney World is an enormous, awe-inspiring destination for millions of people every year. Despite heavy traffic, the park stays very well kept, safe and clean. That’s because every night, when Disney World shuts down, large crews come out to work on the park.

From trash cleanup to ride repairs, crews come through every single night and make sure the park is in tip-top shape. If Disney World started opening earlier and earlier, cutting into the number of hours the crews have to repair the park and clean things up each night, over time the world-famous park would break down, becoming dilapidated and unsafe.

The same is true for our bodies.

When we sleep, our immune systems are strengthened, our cortisol levels are reduced, our muscles rebuild and our brains detox. If we cut into that time each night, our bodies begin to falter.

4. Schedule Time for You: This may seem impossible, but you need to find a time when you can regularly have “you time.” Maybe it’s in the morning before anybody wakes up. Maybe

it’s at night when everybody goes to sleep. Or maybe it’s your lunch break at work. If you’re asking, “What lunch break?” then you definitely need to start taking one. You can’t continue to serve others if your bucket is empty.

5. Unplug: Many of the ways that people and companies vie for our attention is through our devices. Emails, texts, notifications, tweets, pics, news stories—all of this is delivered through buzzes, pings and dings on your phone or computer. Give yourself a break.

Turn your devices off. Some people find it necessary to go so far as to deactivate their accounts to give themselves space. If that’s what you need to do, do it. Otherwise, give yourself a designated amount of time every day, or every week, when you just unplug.

Beth Barbaglia, MBA, is the marketing and communications director at the Grand Traverse Bay YMCA, a non-profit organization focusing on youth development, healthy living and social responsibility. As a former personal trainer, collegiate hockey player and health coach, Barbaglia combined her MBA in marketing with her lifelong passion of health and wellness in a fulfilling career at the “Y.” She can be reached at bethb@gtbayymca.org.

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Grand Traverse Woman

We are Kandace Chapple and Kerry Winkler, twin sisters and publishers of GTWoman. This is our 15th year of publishing Northern Michigan’s magazine for women.

We invite you to stay awhile, look around and get to know each other. The power of our magazine is built with women and their natural inclination to gather, talk, share, Publishers & Twin Sisters and, as they say, build a Kandace Chapple & Kerry Winkler village.

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WHY MARKET SPECIFICALLY TO WOMEN? Women drive 85% of all consumer purchasing, through a combination of their buying power and influence.

Women have a multiplier effect. Women serve many roles within their family as well as at the workplace. They purchase on behalf of these people as well. They are multiple markets in one.

Women want more and demand more. For women, customer service makes the difference when comparing similar products on the market. When you meet the higher expectations of women, you’ve got yourself a long-term, loyal customer.

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Sales: Kerry Winkler, kerry@grandtraversewoman.com Editorial: Kandace Chapple, kandace@grandtraversewoman.com www.grandtraversewoman.com • 231-276-5105

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Nov/Dec '17 47

Grand Traverse

WOMAN IN BUSINESS

NEW Jenny Jewett is the new bookkeeper for Grand Traverse Woman Magazine.

She graduated from Central Michigan University with a Bachelor’s degree in Business. She has been employed as a staff accountant and bookkeeper. A recent transplant to Traverse City, Jewett said she enjoys exploring all the area has to offer. Outside of work, she loves running, fishing and volleyball. She completed her first marathon in 2017 and is always looking for a new course to run. She can be reached at jen@grandtraversewoman.com.

Karin Beery is the new assistant editor for Grand Traverse Woman Magazine.

She started writing ten years ago when her husband was diagnosed with cancer. He is healthy now, and she has made a career of writing and editing. Her passion is fiction—writing contemporary and speculative fiction with a healthy dose of romance. When she's not writing fiction, she also edits and writes business copy through her business, Write Now Editing & Copywriting Services.

She teaches Substantive Editing for Fiction through the PEN Institute, and will begin teaching Romance Fiction Editing in 2018. In addition, she teaches content writing courses

Grand Traverse Woman through Northwestern Michigan College’s Extended Education program. She can be reached at karin@grandtraversewoman.com.

The Maple Clinic announces that Kristi Weadock, LLMSW, has joined The Maple Clinic staff. With a clinical focus on depression, anxiety, trauma and women’s issues, Weadock is now accepting new clients with Medicaid, private pay, as well as client assistance offered via a sliding scale fee. 525 S. Union St., Traverse City, 231.946.9575 Mary Rollert, a Traverse City native, is the newest member of the Century 21 Northland team.

“I look forward to helping clients sell their property or buy their dream home,” she said. Before beginning her new career, she ran an outdoor maintenance company with her husband. 231.883.6837, maryrollertc21@gmail.com, www.c21northland.com

DeAnna Hess has joined the Precision Plumbing & Heating Team as a Home Comfort Consultant.

With over 20 years of marketing experience, she has partnered with local Northern Michigan businesses to promote exceptional services and offer customers educated choices before making financial commitments. Hess provides her clients with understandable, custom solutions specific to their needs.

231.668.9529, www.precisiontc.com Leelanau Peninsula and Old Mission Peninsula wineries have combined forces for a new initiative and created a brand to showcase the high quality wines being grown in the area, called Traverse Wine Coast. “It really makes sense,” said Karel Bush, executive director of the Michigan Grape and Wine Industry Council, “and with the two regions coming together, it will open a lot of doors with additional resources for each region to achieve its goals.” The objectives of Traverse Wine Coast focus on national promotion,

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Nov/Dec '17

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231.421.8868 13o E. Front St • TC

126 E Front St Downtown TC www.grandtraversewoman.com

Grand Traverse Woman media relations and increasing the local wine presence. While these objectives become a combined focus, both the Leelanau Peninsula Wine Trail and Wineries of Old Mission Peninsula will continue to operate as they have in the past. 231.944.5220, hello@traversewinecoast.com Grand Valley State University will offer an interprofessional certificate program in hospice and palliative care for post-baccalaureate students and professionals in Northern Michigan. Classes will begin in January at the Northwestern Michigan College University Center. Organizers said the program is designed for professionals who work with patients facing life-limiting and terminal illnesses, including nurses, social workers, physicians, clergy members and other health professionals. The program is offered in a combination of online and in-seat classes and includes coursework in palliative and hospice care, pain/symptom management, death and grief, and an elective in pharmacology, social work or health care systems. Contact Linda Buck at buckli@gvsu.edu or 800.480.0406. gvsu.edu/phc

KUDOS

McLain Cycle & Fitness, with locations in Traverse City and Cadillac, has been chosen by Interbike, the largest cycling industry trade event, to win one of 10 awards for “Retailer Innovation.” The 2017 Interbike Retailer Innovation Awards recognize independent bicycle retailers that have implemented innovative ideas and strategies to their business with positive results over the past 12 months. “It’s an honor to be recognized by Interbike for the Retailer Innovation Award,” said

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Meagan McLain, marketing director.

“It’s important to us to deliver the best experience to our cycling community, as we strive to help all levels of riders, every day. The ideas we implemented have helped our shop grow, and I’m proud of our team for helping to make that happen.” The award recognized her innovation in incorporating self-guided tours on E-Bikes. www.mclaincycle.com

Grand Traverse

WOMAN Jan/Feb 2018

Jan/Feb

The

ou New YIssu e

Linda M. Fisher, CIC, of Cardinal Insurance Group, was recently recognized for professional leadership and advanced knowledge by the Society of Certified Insurance Counselors (CIC), a leading national insurance professional organization.

Fisher was awarded a certificate marking more than 15 years of participation as a designated CIC, which requires annual completion of advanced education and training. www.cardinalinsurancegroup.com Century 21 Northland associate Cherie Robinson has been named to the Munson Medical Center Foundation.

The Traverse City-based foundation raises funds to pay for local health care services, equipment, and programs that might otherwise go unfunded. A 14-year veteran of the real estate profession, Robinson and her husband are raising three sons. 231.929.7900, www.c21northland.com Century 21 N o r t h l a n d REALTOR Kellie Sergent, incoming president of the Traverse Area Association of Realtors (TAAR), recently attended the National Association of Realtors (NAR) annual Leadership Summit in Chicago. The three-day event featured new ideas to help leaders of local real estate associations. “It was beneficial to see support from the national level trickle down to the state level and to the local associations,” Sergent said. Sergent, who works out of the Elk Rapids office, becomes TAAR president next year. 231.929.7900, www.c21northland.com

Bundle up in January!

Bundle an Enews Shout Out along with your ¼ size ad or larger and SAVE $100!

GTWoman’s Jan/Feb “New You” Issue deadline is December 4th.

Email kerry@grandtraversewoman.com Call or Text 231.276.5105 www.grandtraversewoman.com

Nov/Dec '17 49

Grand Traverse Woman

In Touch

Barb Witkop is celebrating five years with Precision Plumbing and Heating Systems. As the installation coordinator, she offers customer care backed by years of experience in customer service.

231.668.9529, www.precisiontc.com

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Traverse Health Clinic’s oral health coordinator, Rene Louchart, Registered Dental Hygienist, BS, has received the Northland Dental Hygienists Society’s Hygienist of the Year Award. Louchart also recently marked 10 years of service with Traverse Health Clinic working to integrate Oral Health into patients’ overall health care. In addition to receiving the Hygienist of the Year award, she was also one of a team of 10 local dentists that received the Michigan Dental Association’s 2017 Public Service Award for the Victors for Veterans program. In her position with Traverse Health Clinic,

she has implemented dental outreach programs, including Traverse Bay Give Kids a Smile, Matinee Dental Days at the State Theatre, and a referral program at volunteer dentists. www.traversehealthclinic.org The National Writers Series of Traverse City (NWS) has received a $21,000 grant from the Michigan Council for Arts and Cultural Affairs for the third year in a row. The grant includes $2,909 federal dollars from the National Endowment for the Arts. NWS is a nonprofit that exists to promote storytelling in the community and area schools. The $21,000 grant will help fund four areas of general operations of the Writers Series, including: author events at the City Opera House; the Front Street Writers, a for-credit writing course offered to five-county area students at TBA-ISD; Battle of the Books; creative writing workshops for youth in partnership with Northwestern Michigan College; college scholarships for aspiring writers; and publication of the National Writers Series Literary Journal. www.nationalwritersseries.org

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Nov/Dec '17

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Grand Traverse Woman

Grand Traverse Woman 2017

LUNCHEONS GTWoman’s Oct. 11 Luncheon was a sold-out crowd of 160 women and 40 vendors. We opened up the room “next door” at the Hagerty Center so we had enough room. This made it, officially, our biggest luncheon ever (insert confetti)!

Our speaker was Miranda Monroe, MS, RDN, owner of Grand Traverse Nutrition. She taught us which foods fire us up and what the perfect “power meal” looks like. It was an energizing event! Our next luncheon is Feb. 14. Watch the next issue for details.

ALL PHOTOS BY SARAH BROWN PHOTOGRAPHY.

Grand Traverse WOMAN

GTWoman’s 10th Annual Girls Night Out was Friday, Sept.

29, and we had a full house with 215 women and 40 vendors. The event was at Leelanau Studios in Traverse City and we had food, wine and comedians (see our editorial for more on that...). Thank you, gals, for a wonderful and memorable event! Our next Network Nite is Wednesday, Nov. 8 at Berkshire Hathaway in Traverse City. Join us!

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momma 1412

Grand Traverse Woman

BY KANDACE CHAPPLE WWW.KANDACECHAPPLE.COM

THE

finish LINE Marquette. Just the two of us. My son Nelson, age 12, and I. It would be his first “big” 10-mile race and the first weekend trip for just the two of us.

Of course, a few conditions were placed on the outing. We would have to hunt trains (his) and stop frequently for snacks (mine).

THE ROAD TRIP We set out with a full 6-hour drive ahead of us, taking the long way through the UP to look at various train tracks along the way. The conversation wore thin by the time we crossed the Mackinac Bridge, and the desolate stretch of road from the Soo to Marquette was filled with just one thing: RVs. The entire traveling public had a trailer hitched to its backside. Hoping to keep us busy, I decided we would count them (old school genius indeed).

Yes. Great idea. Until we hit 30, 40 then 50. The game was getting old. We couldn’t do anything except count motor homes, pickup campers and travel trailers.

We decided to put skin in the game. We would take turns delivering a “surprise” for every 10 RVs we counted. When we hit 60, Nelson’s surprise for me was a near-bruise-inducing punch to my arm, nearly putting us into the ditch. I shouted in

approval. At 70, I delivered a pinch to his leg that rivaled abuse. Things escalated. Nelson promised death at 100.

By dinnertime, we’d arrived in Marquette and checked-in to the world’s most spectacular economically priced hotel room.

It was deluxe because of this and this alone: Our bikes fit in the room with us. We felt like real mountain bike racers. Our babies would be in, out of the cold, bedded down with us. We slept as if we’d already podiumed.

THE RACE The race was the next morning. At the start gun, we took off with a mob that was mostly mom/dad and kid combos. It was a friendly group and the most polite racing I’d ever been a part of.

Nelson slowed down whenever we crossed the railroad tracks. I was doubting his devotion to the race, however, I was still thrilled we were racing together.

As the race wore on, we decided to pass, our friendliness wearing thin. But there was a trick to it. We’d call out, “on your left,” then wait patiently for the rider to lose control and veer left. We then passed on the right.

The best part was a young boy, maybe 6 years old. When I called out that we were passing, he shouted back, “OH NO YOU’RE NOT” and gunned it. Despite his size, he was surprisingly fast.

Nelson and I took off after him, game on.

“Stop! Don’t get hurt!” his mother shouted.

We all ignored her.

It was an all-out effort for a full minute. When Nelson and I overtook him, it was on a wet slippery

wooden bridge that aged his mother by a good 10 years.

“Now that’s racing,” I said.

THE CHASE CONTINUES An hour later, we were at the finish line. Time to celebrate. We had lived, beaten a little kid and been given a free donut hole. An unqualified victory.

But the chase wasn’t over yet. Nelson waited about 10 minutes before announcing we should hit the road and look for trains.

We headed to Eagle Mills, 15 minutes away, chasing the elusive ore trains of Marquette. I had plenty of doubts, but Nelson had more faith.

And when we arrived, we saw a railfanner’s dream: Another railfanner set up with a tripod and camera overlooking the tracks. Someone in the know was waiting for a train. It was like winning the lottery.

Sure enough, in a matter of minutes, a train came through.

Nelson could tell you the type and what it was carrying, but I can tell you I was relieved. We’d traveled a roundtrip of 12 hours for a bike race, biked over an hour through the countryside, but, finally, we had reached the real finish line.

We headed home an hour later. We stopped at Pickleman's in Newberry and got Sun Chips and a Faygo pop. I decided to check the race results.

Guess what? I’d won my age group. We started laughing and hooting and hollering. We’d won!

Kinda!

We toasted each other with our Yooper pop and got back on the road. And we started counting again, one bruise at a time, to 100.

Kandace Chapple is the editor and co-publisher of Grand Traverse Woman. She loves books, mountain biking and family. When her two kiddos, Cookie the dog, or work aren't calling, she’s out mountain biking on the gorgeous dirt trails of Northern Michigan. You can reach Kandace at kandace@grandtraversewoman.com. Read her blog at www.kandacechapple.com.

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Nov/Dec '17

NORTHERN ART PHOTOGRAPHY

THE IDEA was to go to a mountain bike race in

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Grand Traverse Woman

mommatrouble 1412 (in the) hood 1612

BY KERRY WINKLER

MAX AND HIS FIRST TRUCK:

1999

Jimmy As the end of the school year closed in, it was time for him to start looking for a summer job. I was eager for Max to get his application out to all the best places, certain he would land a job as a CEO or perhaps a CFO. We talked about several places where he’d apply. And then I waited to hear updates. And waited. And waited. He was the best find in town; why weren’t they calling?!

Then I discovered he’d only applied to one job and he hadn’t even called THEM to follow up. Well that certainly narrowed his odds of getting a job.

That’s when I got more involved. Again, I gave him plenty of ideas of where to apply and also the rundown of business etiquette known as “follow-up.” Was he listening at all?? So for about two weeks we hung out in this huffy stage of his resisting and my persisting. I was sure he’d never find a job. (Also, I was certain all the CEO positions would be filled by early June.)

But he did it. He landed the one and only job he applied for. Finally, on his own volition, he actually walked in and asked in person and got an interview… and the job. Maybe I’d underestimated him.

His first day arrived and off he went to his job at a local café. He was excited to go, and I was secretly delighted that he’d have to answer to someone who wasn’t me for once. He had been hired as the “general help,” which equated to washing dishes for about six hours straight. By hand. With no dishwasher. I was proud of him and me. (After all, who taught him those mad dishwashing skillz?)

Week 2 was pay day! He had never had one and here it was. Finally some payout. Until he came home empty handed. It had been directly deposited into his savings account. He was disappointed, and I didn’t blame him: there is something about holding that first paycheck in your hand! Instead, we pulled up the bank statement on the cold computer screen and had to be satisfied with the numbers that way.

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Week 3 came and that was when the magic happened. Max came home with his cut of the tips. Finally, he had concrete evidence that working was worth it… he had cold hard cash in hand. And a burning desire to go spend it.

Up until then, he’d been saving all his money (electronically, dang it, but it was effective). But now he had some spending cash and he had been eyeing up a Highway Men t-shirt. But $25 later, he was back to saving. He had a bigger goal—a truck by the end of the summer. So he continued to squirrel away his tips too. And his nest egg grew bigger on the computer screen.

Finally the end of August rolled around, and he’d saved enough to buy a beater truck and cover his gas money for the school year. It was time to go car shopping.

There were plenty of options out there, but nothing was sticking. Until Uncle Bruce called with the ultimate truck —he was selling his 1999 Jimmy.

It was his old work truck with a dented back bumper but fully working 4-wheel drive and a price tag that had “family discount” written all over it.

And finally, finally… Max got to go to the bank and withdraw the cash he’d worked all summer for to buy his truck. Cash is king! No debt and enough cash left over to fill the gas tank until he resumed work during holiday breaks and then next summer.

So, no, he wasn’t hired as a CEO, but he did end up with a great t-shirt, a lesson in hard work and the realization that his mom wasn’t so extreme with the amount of dishes she has him do at home!

Kerry Winkler is the account director and copublisher of Grand Traverse Woman Magazine.

She lives with her 2 teenage kids in Interlochen and one has recently hit the roads with his license so she's getting grayer by the day. She loves being active outdoors and also teaches fitness classes locally at Fit For You Gym. She can be reached at kerry@grandtraversewoman.com.

NORTHERN ART PHOTOGRAPHY

THIS PAST SUMMER, Max got his first job at age 16 and his first car!

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Grand Traverse Woman

ENJOY THE SOUNDS OF THE HOLIDAY SEASON

December 3 1:00 p.m. Grand Traverse Show Chorus of Sweet Adelines Int’l.

2:30 p.m. Traverse City Central H.S. Choral-Aires December 10 1:00 p.m. Cherry Capital Men’s Chorus 2:30 p.m. TLC Handbells December 17 1:00 p.m. Holiday Concert with Peter Bergin ~ piano & vocals Concerts are hosted in the McGuire Community Room at the TADL Main Library (610 Woodmere Ave., Traverse City, 49686)

VISIT YOUR TADL LOCATION FOR MUSIC & MORE

www.TADL.ORG 54

Nov/Dec '17

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Grand Traverse Woman

r u o r o f e m i t s It’ n o i s i c e r P l a Annu !

R E V O E K A FURNACE M Nominate a special family to receive this gift of warmth!

After Before To nominate, go to www.PrecisionTC.com and click on Nominate • FREE Furnace Replacement Estimates • 24 Hour Service on all Makes and Models • Annual Furnace and A/C Maintenances • Residential and Commercial • Locally owned and operated • Live person answering your call 24/7

231-947-0100 www.grandtraversewoman.com

$1,000 donated monthly to your local non-profit!

Nov/Dec '17 55

Our Holiday Area Rug Sale

Grand Traverse Woman

Nourison Prismatic

20% to 50% Off Our Last Advertised Sale Price!

Find the perfect area rug for any floor in your home during our biggest sale event of the year. The huge variety of sizes, patterns, styles, and colors availale at Carpet Galleria can help you make your home feel new, all over again.

From handknotted rugs with handspun yarns to hand tufted and machine made choices—you’ll find exactly the area rug that best fits your lifestyle.

Enjoy shopping in our state-of-the-art showroom, you’ll find choosing the perfect rug is a pleasure… at Carpet Galleria.

Sale ends December 30!

56 Nov/Dec '17 1035 S. Garfield Ave, Traverse City

www.grandtraversewoman.com 231-947-4808 • carpetgalleria.com