GTW Jan/Feb 2018

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Grand Traverse

WOMAN

northern michigan’s network for women ◆ JAN/FEB '18

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Grand Traverse

WOMAN2WOMAN WOMAN BY KANDACE CHAPPLE & KERRY WINKLER

northern michigan’s magazine for women

Volume 15, No. 3 January/February 2018 Grand Traverse Woman P.O. Box 22 Interlochen, MI 49643 tel: 231.276.5105 www.grandtraversewoman.com BLOG: www.kandacechapple.com FACEBOOK: www.facebook.com/grandtraversewoman

Chicago

Recap

PUBLISHERS Kandace Chapple Kerry Winkler EDITOR Kandace Chapple, kandace@grandtraversewoman.com

OUR CHICAGO TRIP was yet another one to

ACCOUNT DIRECTOR Kerry Winkler, kerry@grandtraversewoman.com

remember! We had 212 women, 4 busloads and a snowstorm. Could we ask for a better combo?

THE STORM But, before we go any further, we want to clarify the snowstorm. At about 11 a.m., halfway there, we received an ominous email from the hotel. There was a snowstorm in Chicago. To quote, “a full-blown snowstorm underway.” We decided to say nothing to the group. Why alarm them? We’d just see what we found when we arrived. We were on a mission. Nothing could stop us anyway. We got into town at 2:30 p.m. And, to our relief, we found just enough snow to gather among the blades of grass. The roads were wet and there wasn’t a salt truck to be seen. We quietly celebrated the near-miss. When we got to the hotel, however, the staff didn’t seem to notice our good fortune. Instead, they were glad we’d made it through the snowstorm. We didn’t have the heart to tell them that we’d just loaded 200+ women in actual snow, at dawn, in a Meijer parking lot, wearing party shoes.

THE MUSICAL The Jimmy Buffet musical on Friday night was a total hit. We’ve never been to such a funny musical. Plus, there were no long, sustained operatic notes. This was met with our approval. However, there was one glitch. We heard that Jimmy Buffet showed up at the theater the night after we were there for a surprise visit. The sound of 212 synchronized hearts could be heard breaking when the news spread.

THE PARTY Then, on Saturday night, the unthinkable happened. It started when Kandy put on her new, plaid PJ pants around 7 p.m. She wanted to a) show off her cute pants and b) take a quick nap before we went out on the town. Soon, the roommates started filtering in. Insert shopping bags, shouts of approval over bargains and heated debates over dinner. (No one noticed the cute new pants. Small setback.) Suddenly, Wendy appeared in her PJ bottoms too. Fifteen minutes later, Kerry. Three out of us five girls were now in loungewear.

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THE ROOMIES. BACK ROW: KANDACE & WENDY. FRONT ROW: MARGO, BARB AND KERRY.

Majority rules in a hotel room; always has, always will. Barb and Margo put on their jammies without hesitation. “Just for a few minutes,” we said, loud and often. We’d relax, order pizza, have a little re-boot, and then get dolled up. That was the official decision, maybe. Until someone started to inventory the food we already had in the fridge. Cheese, chocolate, fruit, chocolate, crackers, chocolate. And enough beverages to stock a bar during Prohibition. We delayed the dinner decision once again. Instead, we’d eat and drink what we had for appetizers. Just for now. In our pajamas. Everyone climbed onto a bed or a couch. Taste tests began and appetizers abounded for a further hour. Everyone’s hair transformed from loose waves to comfortable ponytails. Blankets were curled into, and confessions were made. And no one seemed to be discussing what to wear, where to go or when to leave. We had a (crystal clear) inkling at this point that we weren’t going to see the night lights of Chicago. But no one said a word. We marched on, secretly thinking of how fabulous we’d feel in the morning after a good night’s sleep. But, as the night passed, the issue finally came to a head: What about our big night out? We always went out dancing in Chicago. Always. With our usual brilliance, we decided to push the beds apart and make a dance floor. In a moment of premonition, one of the gals had already screwed a rotating disco light bulb into the corner lamp. Kandy tried to DJ with her phone, but she was awful at it. A few twirls were turned but, behold, the carefully curated dance floor stood empty. We looked around; no one seemed to care. Our annual trek to the dive bars (where we felt old in the presence of youth) had been replaced with the world’s best slumber party (where we felt youthful once again). And what a delight it was. No one had to decide whether to wear black yet again (no begging for someone’s red scarf). No one went through the cold weather vs. high heels debate (no cab fares calculated). No one had to find a spot for her cell phone in an outfit without pockets (no cross-body purse needed). We were, instead, problem-free and down to the basics of a girls’ night in: PJs, confessions and giggles. It was different but it was wonderful. We spent time curling up against the (non-)raging snowstorm outside, rehashing the musical (unaware that Jimmy was making someone else’s dreams come true as we spoke), and promising that nothing we said would leave the room. In one final stroke of genius, Kerry set the room clock ahead two hours to assure we’d be “closing down the bars.” In the end, it was just what we needed. A chance to relax and reconnect. And remember that sometimes the best part of a weekend away is... a girls’ night in.

ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES Deb Dent, deb@grandtraversewoman.com Sherry Galbraith, sherry@grandtraversewoman.com Lori Maki, lori@grandtraversewoman.com ASSISTANT EDITOR Karin Beery, karin@grandtraversewoman.com COPY EDITOR Christine Kurtz DESIGNER Bethany Gulde, bethany@grandtraversewoman.com COVER PHOTO Jennifer Lake, owner of Brand Tonic, with her pup Daisy. She will be speaking at the GTWoman Feb. 14th Luncheon on creativity! See her story on page 8. Beth Price Photography, www.bethpricephotography.com PHOTOGRAPHERS Sarah Brown, Sarah Brown Photography www.sarahbrown-photography.com Scarlett Piedmonte, Photography by Scarlett www.photobyscarlett.com Beth Price, Beth Price Photography www.bethpricephotography.com CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Mi Ditmar Jennifer Donohue Paige Fuller Betty Hogard Phoebe Hopps Jennifer Lake Kari Massa Angie Morgan Jan Morrison Lauren Petz Mary Robinson Chelsey Schlicht ADVERTISING Kerry Winkler at 231.276.5105 or kerry@grandtraversewoman.com Visit www.grandtraversewoman.com for rates. SUBSCRIPTIONS To receive GTWoman at home, mail $20 (for 6 issues) to: Grand Traverse Woman, P.O. Box 22, Interlochen, MI 49643 ARTICLES/PRESS RELEASES Letters, inquiries, press releases and GTWoman In Business submissions are welcome. See www.grandtraversewoman.com for guidelines. MISSION STATEMENT Grand Traverse Woman is a bimonthly magazine dedicated to the interests of women in the five-county region. Our mission is to provide women with a publication that is educational and inspirational. We strive to maintain a positive, well-balanced and genuine forum for women's issues. (We also like funny stuff.) © Copyright 2018 Grand Traverse Woman LLC All rights reserved.

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Grand Traverse Woman

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A JOURNEY TO WHOLENESS AFTER DIVORCE BY JENNIFER DONOHUE

I STOOD like an eagle, perched on the edge of the abyss, the biting spring air embracing my face. God’s great creation, his Grand Canyon, beckoned to me. My heart beat out of my chest. I took a deep breath, then sprang like a cat. For a moment, I was suspended in the air. I felt free and nothing held me back. I landed on my feet on a rock below, the earth sturdy beneath me. I felt fearless, like a mountain lion leaping onto pride rock. I was strong, confident and exhilarated, ready to leave my old world behind and face the challenges ahead.

COMPLETELY EMPTY That moment was a far cry from where it all started on a warm fall evening as I was sitting on my deck at home in Michigan. That day is forever etched in my mind. I sat there sipping on a glass of wine, listening to my husband of 25 years talk about his day. I thought back over our marriage and how accomplished I felt we were as parents, all three daughters off to college, the oldest recently married and settled in North Carolina. Sure, we had our ups and downs like most marriages. Through deaths of loved ones, moves across the country, and jobs out of town, we had survived. Even still, I felt he didn't really know me. I remembered the time I asked him to describe who I was as a person. He hesitated, and said, "I know, you like to travel." "True, what else?" I asked. "I like to travel, too,” he said. I thought, why doesn't he know me after 25 years? If only he knew me, if only we liked to do the same things, if only we could have a conversation without taking sides or proving a point, if only... At this point, he was working in another town. Our daughters were busy with college and friends, and I was alone. Nothing was new in my life, except the fact that they were all gone, emotionally and physically. My job as a mother felt complete, and, as happy as I was for them, my heart broke. My body felt like an empty shell. I had given everything, and I didn't really know who I was anymore or who I was supposed to be.

NO TURNING BACK It felt like I was falling into a pit of quicksand, sinking below the surface, gasping for air, grabbing for the sides and barely holding on. At last, I mustered all my strength, reached up, and crawled my way toward the light. I could finally see my future in the distance and began to walk forward. Towards acceptance, peace, wholeness. Toward hope. I looked down at my wedding band. I soaped up my finger and slipped it off forever. It hadn't left its home, proudly resting on my finger, for 25 years. I placed it neatly back in the original ring box and snapped the lid closed. My other fingers, in shock, kept trying to right the ring that wasn't there anymore.

OVERCOMING SETBACKS AND MAKING A CHOICE Shortly after my divorce was final, I sat back and reflected on my past year. I had been through three counselors, three different antidepressants and two different anxiety medications. I was diagnosed with high blood pressure, and I was tested for ADHD at one counselor’s request. I had numerous stacks of self-help books and I filled my house with quotes that I found myself reciting, sometimes hourly, just to make it through the day. I prayed so much for direction I thought maybe God had given up on me. I learned about narcissism, and that I was co-dependent, an enabler, and also an adult child of an alcoholic. I thought to myself, how did I make it this far? The choice was mine. I could drown myself slowly in the labels, or I could stay on “pride rock” and beat them off, remaining prideful and strong.

TWO WORDS CHANGE EVERYTHING I returned to the conversation on the deck. My husband had no idea I hadn’t heard a word he said. He was still talking about his day. I'm not sure where the words I said next came from. I just opened my mouth and out they flew, uncatchable: "I'm done. I can't do this anymore." Silence fell quickly, tears came fast, and the journey began. I remember one of my daughters saying to me at one point, "Mom, I'm going to help dad because you are stronger and you don't really need help." Little did she know, I was barely keeping myself together. I was trying to be strong for my girls, not wanting them to know I was crushed, confused and devastated too. Some friends offered advice, while others were just there to listen. A few had to end our friendship, unable to deal with the change.

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Grand Traverse Woman

MY BIG LEAP I weaned myself off all the prescription drugs. I wanted to feel what I was going through. I mapped out my goals: personal, business and spiritual. First goal: travel somewhere alone that I had never gone before. To Sedona, Ariz. I hiked to the tops of mountains where I journaled and prayed. As I sat on the mountain each day, I reflected. I listened to the birds sing. As a beautiful butterfly fluttered by, I felt the warm spring air breathing new life into me. I took my jump of life in the Grand Canyon, letting go of the past and moving forward to my future. Once home, I challenged myself and took up cycling and running. I competed and even placed in a few races. I rode in the Iceman Cometh Challenge, the largest point-to-point mountain-bike race in America. The physical exercise was good for the soul and body too! The thrill of competition and finishing brought an overwhelming sense of accomplishment and was a huge confidence-builder. Each check off of my list made me stronger on my personal journey to wholeness. I strengthened my relationship with God, who has been my rock. I'm continually working on nurturing the relationships and understanding with my children and family, knowing that they too are grieving the loss of the family unit.

IT IS WHAT IT IS Getting divorced was devastating beyond belief, and if you are contemplating it, don't take it lightly. Only proceed if it's the last resort. The full effects are so much greater than one can imagine. I had no idea. I wouldn't wish this journey on anyone. I personally think it is as awful as a death, striking deep to your core, its effects trickling down. I do wonder at times, if I had the knowledge I have now, could my marriage have been saved? But, acceptance is the key at this point, and I believe everything happens for a reason. My family dynamic is different now, and even though we are not the family we once were, we are the family we are now. Divorce doesn't change my deep love for my children or my respect for their father. I have become stronger, more joyful and more peaceful. I remember people always saying to me that I was searching for something. Now, I know I had been searching for myself. I have finally found my pride rock. Here, I feel whole, confident, independent, and ready to share the tools I have learned to move forward after a crisis. Success in life, I’ve learned, starts from within. Jennifer Donohue (pictured at left on her “pride rock,” is a certified life coach and inspirational speaker. She is a native of Traverse City and a mother of three grown daughters. She has been a hairstylist and salon owner for 35 years. She became a Certified Life Coach and speaker in 2008, and has found her passion for helping women find their wholeness after a loss. She loves riding horses, cycling and running. Donohue can be reached at 231.922.2208 or jenniferdonohue27@gmail.com or visit www.jdonohuespeaks.com.

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Grand Traverse Woman

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Overcoming obstacles through

Creativity BETH PRICE PHOTOGRAPHY

How creative thinking can help you heal and be happy.

by jennifer lake

Bio Stuff:

Jennifer Lake is the founder of Brand Tonic, a creative branding and design studio in Traverse City. Jennifer enjoys life in TC with her husband, Kieron, her son, Finn, and their St. Bernard puppy, Daisy. (See cover.) Jennifer has a passion for travel, music, wine and making ridiculous videos with family and friends. Find inspiration at www.brand-tonic.com or chat with Jen at jen@brand-tonic.com.

Creativity is good for your health. Have you ever had the thought, “I’m not creative. I can’t even draw a straight line”? You’re not alone. Many people think that there is some essential relationship between creativity and the ability to make art. That’s just not the case. Creativity is about problem solving, finding alternative possibilities, expressing emotion and creating something new. It doesn’t have to be perfect, it just has to be freeing. Creativity can be expressed in cooking, gardening, scheduling, family events, date nights—you name it, you can find a way to infuse creativity. And the benefits to the brain and body are worth it.

creativity Relieves stress. Similar to meditation, it keeps us present. Breathe...

Renews brain function.

It promotes production of new neurons. Whoop!

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Jan/Feb '18

Improves mood. It can increase our control over emotional pain. Be happy!

Helps prevent Alzheimer’s. It can help prevent cognitive deterioration. Whew...

I guess I’ve always been this way. When I was three I learned to say the alphabet—backwards. (It was a great party trick for my parents, and I’ll still say it in under 3 seconds—just ask me.) In my little head, “ABC” just seemed too ordinary. There was an excitement that came with shifting my brain and seeing things in new ways. And I fully embraced it, no matter how weird my sister thought I was.

From that moment, thinking differently became part of my daily existence. I could repurpose toys. I would draw and write and sing with a full sense of freedom. I was

embracing my creativity

...and i was coping.

I grew up in a loving family with a mom who was terminally ill. And despite the struggles we all felt, my siblings and I found creative outlets to help us cope. We made silly videos, we invented games, we survived. When I was hurting, I found comfort in creative expression, new ideas and upside down thinking. (I literally did a lot of thinking inverted on my head.) Being creative helped me move through the confusion and sadness of real life at a very young age. And it brought me happiness, empowerment and a sense of calm. Fast forward years later, and it’s no surprise I’ve built my career on creativity. My mom died when I was 27 and within 6 months, I left my job and started my own business in graphic design and marketing. I didn’t know how I would do it, but I knew my ideas, my ability to problem solve and my determination would carry me. And they did…through loss, through a divorce, through a failed business partnership, through a new baby, through a new home and through every stressful circumstance since. Today, when everything else seems overwhelming, I rely on my creativity to pull me through, to help me find balance and joy. I seek inspiration, I find new ways to look at problems, and I create original ideas. And sharing those ideas with others, whether clients or friends, is a gift. My ideas help others grow and connect and build dreams in business. And they help me heal. I am a happy girl again.

Exercise your ideas. Our brain needs exercise just as much as our body. Creativity is an innate part of all of us. Through practice and exercise, it becomes easier and easier to unleash. Whether you’re looking to jumpstart a team or motivate your own muse, a few simple exercises can help set you on a path to endless ideas. Remember, not all the ideas have to be good. They just need to start the creative process. The rest will come naturally. Not convinced you

have creative potential?

Let's do lunch!

FEBRUARY 14th

11am–1pm Hagerty Center

I’ll take you through my favorite brainstorming warm-ups to get your mind going. We’ll talk about how to bring creativity into your work, home life and relationships. (Oh, and we’ll have fun. Get ready!) Visit www.grandtraversewoman.com to register.

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Grand Traverse Woman

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Grand Traverse Woman

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Grand Traverse Woman

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Grand Traverse Woman

BY CHELSEY SCHLICHT CHELSEY'S 1980 VOLKSWAGEN WESTFALIA VANAGON, NAMED GYPSY.

I’VE ALWAYS had the heart and soul of a gypsy. Call it what you may: wanderlust, an urge to travel, a desire to see the world. Unfortunately, sometimes life holds us back. We have jobs to do, houses to tend to, families to take care of, and the list goes on. Recently, my life took several dramatic turns. After months of battling illness, my mother passed away last year. Then, my husband and I divorced after 12 years of marriage. At the time, I had been devoting much of my free time to volunteering, but I decided to step away from that. I soon realized that, with all of these changes in circumstances, I had the time, opportunity and freedom to follow my dreams. And I learned some unexpected lessons in the process. I had been dreaming about two specific aspirations for years. One was to own a retro Volkswagen van, and the other was to backpack through Europe. One day, the perfect plan hit me: I could buy a Volkswagen van and live in it for the summer, saving enough money to travel to Europe for a few weeks in the fall.

THE VAN

I had been renting a house downtown with a couple of roommates, but our lease was up that summer, so it was perfect timing. I searched for a van for months, but to no avail. Then, in May 2017, my friend, Leo, texted me a Craigslist ad for a 1980 Volkswagen Westfalia Vanagon for sale in Wisconsin.

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It seemed perfect, but it was risky. As with any older vehicle, there was the question of how well it would run, and it also needed some cosmetic interior work. After much debate, however, I decided I couldn’t pass up the opportunity. We set out for Wisconsin the next weekend. Despite the seller’s recommendation to trailer the van home, I decided to take my chances and drive it the 400 miles back to Traverse City. My first sign of trouble occurred about 50 miles into the trip when I tried to fill up the gas tank. I couldn’t put more than five gallons in without it leaking like a sieve. Over the next few months, many more small, mechanical issues came to light. One-by-one, Leo and I tackled them, along with the interior. After many hours of hard work, the van was finally ready. I spent hours donating things to Goodwill I didn’t need. Then I packed up the rest for storage. Finally, at the end of June, I was ready to move my essentials into the van, which I had aptly named “Gypsy.”

THE LIFESTYLE

As I prepared for life in a van, I heard a variety of reactions from friends and family. Many were excited for me, some even envious. Some thought I was crazy. More than anything though, people were overly worried for my safety. A young, single woman living alone in a van? How dangerous! While I admit that those thoughts got under my skin at times, I was convinced I could—and

would—do it. In July, I moved into the van. The next few months were an adventure. I still wanted to enjoy my downtown lifestyle, so I parked the van in downtown lots that allowed overnight parking. Most days, my “shower” consisted of a relaxing swim in the bay. On days when the weather was bad, or I just missed a hot shower, friends let me use their showers, or I took one at work. Meals were an experience. I had a stove in the van, so I cooked many meals there, but I had to learn to shop more frequently and buy less at a time, since I only had a small cooler for storage. My diet changed as I started eating more fresh fruits and vegetables that required less cooking. When I did cook, I made big batches of less-involved recipes that would last for a few meals. Occasionally, if I had a couple of days off work, I would drive to my family’s cottage north of Elk Rapids and stay there, relaxing, taking hot showers, and cooking in a normal-size kitchen. While it wasn’t necessary, it was nice having a backup option in case I needed to get out of the van for a bit. The flexibility of being able to take my home and belongings wherever I went, along with all of the money I saved, was magnificent! By the end of summer, I was able to save enough to plan my trip to Europe in October. I bought my plane tickets and a backpack and wrote a loose itinerary of places I wanted to visit.

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THE TRAVELER I planned to travel alone, stay in hostels, and book transportation and rooms as I traveled to give myself flexibility. Once again, I was faced with the same concerned sentiments from others: “You’re going to backpack through Europe alone?” “You’re so brave.” “That’s so scary.” Again, I was nervous, but it was something I knew I could do. Despite other people’s concerns, I followed through on my plans and had the trip of a lifetime: cliff jumping in Croatia, bungee jumping in Switzerland, and hiking the via feratta in Murren, Switzerland. I discovered there are multitudes of young, single women traveling Europe alone! I even made lifelong friends at the hostel, and shared my adventures with them. Before planning my trip, I made sure to set enough money aside to buy a new vehicle when I got back. I knew that it would be getting cold when I returned from Europe, and that would make van life more difficult. Within days of returning, I was able to find a used car, so I cleaned out Gypsy and put her in

Celebrating

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storage for the winter. I’ve moved into my family’s cottage in Elk Rapids, for now, as I make plans for the future. Will I ever live in the van again? Only time shall tell. However, I am looking forward to being reunited with Gypsy in the spring to continue our adventures. I hope to be able to take her on many cross-country road trips, wherever the wind shall blow us, and to continue to follow my gypsy soul.

or are a little harder than anticipated. In the long run, things will always work out, and the hard work will be worth it. If you put your mind to something, make a good plan, and work hard, you can follow your dreams too (and you might learn something about yourself along the way).

THE LESSONS

Moving into my van not only helped me fulfill my dream of visiting Europe, it has influenced me to live more simply, with fewer material things, and to think twice before buying something. I learned how little I truly need to live, and how happy I can be with so much less. I’ve also learned to be more confident in myself, and not to worry so much about what others think. I no longer let others discourage me, and have learned to be flexible. I don’t stress when things don't work out exactly as planned

CHELSEY SCHLICHT, A SELF-PROCLAIMED GYPSY AND ASPIRING MINIMALIST.

Chelsey Schlicht is an adventure lover, nature enthusiast, gypsy at heart, and an aspiring minimalist. When she is not traveling, she enjoys helping others through her work as a licensed massage therapist at Living Light Massage in Traverse City. You can follow her adventures on Instagram @flower_girl3, or email her at flower_girl3@hotmail.com.

smiles YEARS OF

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Grand Traverse Woman

‘ My Victory Lap Year’ BY KELLI (KABERLE) CRAVEY Kelli was our GTWoman luncheon speaker on May 25, 2017. Kelli, at the time, had just completed a prophylactic double mastectomy after learning she carried the BRCA1 mutation gene. This fall, she also opted to have her ovaries and fallopian tubes removed, along with embarking on a health journey of losing 40 lbs. She shares her story below, Part 2.

AT THE END of December, I turned 40. The same age that my mom was when she was diagnosed with breast cancer that ultimately took her life four years later in 1993. Unlike my mom, I learned that I am predisposed to breast cancer and have been doing what I can to fight it. Some may say sarcastically: Lucky you! But I truly mean it: Lucky me! I found out in time and can do something about it. I began my journey in March of 2015. I had always wanted to do genetic testing, but, as you can imagine, I had to be ready to accept the results. Thanks to a few persistent friends, I mustered up the courage. I realized that I was who I was already, and the tests wouldn’t change that. I thought, why not find out and try to get ahead of anything that might be coming? I had just had my second child when I received my results: I was positive to the BRCA1 mutation. This meant I had an 85 percent chance of developing breast cancer. The average woman has a 12 percent chance, or one in eight. I also had a 44 percent chance of developing ovarian cancer, which increases every year past age 40. I have other risks that are smaller percentages—colon cancer and pancreatic cancer. This news became my fire. I had worried about developing breast cancer from the moment my Mom was diagnosed. The results started a chain of events to take control of what I could. There were two things I could control: 1) The preventive surgeries and 2) A lifestyle change—to be the healthiest I could be.

THE SURGERIES Two and half years and four surgeries later, I have decreased my risk to below the national average for both breast and ovarian cancer. It was a bit of a blur and, like childbirth, I tend to forget the most painful moments. I had a prophylactic double mastectomy—removing all breast tissue—and breast reconstruction in 2015. I had nipple reconstruction with a bonus of a tummy tuck (best decision EVER!) in April of 2016. And this past September, on my 10th wedding anniversary, I had my ovaries and fallopian tubes removed. Let me be clear: I have NEVER been diagnosed with cancer. All of my surgeries were preventable. My genetic mutation means I have DNA that doesn’t recognize cancerous cells, thus not destroying them. So, I removed those areas! But beyond the surgeries, I know I still have risk. But before I had my ovaries removed, I knew there were other risks. In would walk menopause—and not a slow depletion of hormones over time, but a slam-bam-thank-you-ma’am kind of menopause. I think that was the scariest of all surgeries because I could fundamentally not feel like Kelli ever again. I was turning 40. I was going into menopause, and I had heard all the

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struggles that women face, including weight gain. I was already considered “obese” by clinical standards, and I was about to do something that could make me gain more. It was a wake-up call. I had to do something. I had a long conversation with my primary care doctor, who gave me the support that I needed and believed in me. Weight gain wasn’t going to be predetermined for me—I was going to take control.

GETTING IN SHAPE In January 2016, I began my journey to get into shape before having my surgery. Thanks to my neighbor inviting me to join her “TC Trimdown” team, in 12 weeks with just diet changes and walking 10,000 steps a day, I lost 25 pounds. Our team won for top all-female team! I found that the accountability to my team members was exactly what I needed. But I had more work to do, and I started looking for a new challenge. Little did I know how my life and body were about to transform. A co-worker of mine heard about a six-week challenge at LuxBody, a local gym that offers HIIT (High Intensity Interval Training). We signed up and began our workouts together. WHOA! I thought I was working out effectively before—but never as much as I did then and continue to do now at LuxBody.

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Grand Traverse Woman

The workouts and camaraderie of the gym have become part of my life. Since beginning the first challenge in April 2016, I have lost an additional 17.2 pounds and a collective 16 inches. Plus, my strength is now unbelievable! Along with working out six-to-seven days a week (30 minutes for each workout—2 percent of your day, we like to say!), I have completely eliminated sugars and grains. I have geeked out on learning how the body functions when sugar and grains are eliminated, reducing inflammation in the body because that has been linked to cancers as well.

I am still in that mode of exploration. Hormones are not cut and dried. I have gone for three different opinions, each of which is different. But my mom taught me years ago that I am in charge of my body. I will continue to do the research, ask the questions and listen to my body. I began hormone therapy. I don’t know all the answers yet. But I do know that I feel great! I haven’t had a single hot flash; I am part of the 5 percent of women who don’t get them—jackpot! I haven’t gained a pound, and I have actually lost 10 since my surgery.

WHAT’S NEXT

THE MAGIC BULLET

I am currently at the point of dealing with the aftermath of my most recent surgery. Do I start hormones? Will that increase my risk of breast cancer? Wait. I don’t have breast tissue. So what does that mean? Do I go on bioidentical hormones or synthetic? Will I have embarrassing hot flashes? Will I really gain 50 pounds overnight? Though super unrealistic, your mind goes there. If I don’t take hormones, will my heart and bones pay for it? I have much to navigate.

People often say they wish they had my willpower and motivation. They ask me what my magic bullet is. The crazy thing is that I used to think the same way. If only…

Well, I can tell you, it’s all about finding what works for you. I don’t eat sugar or grains. I don’t even miss sugar—I don’t even miss wine. After about a month, you get over it. My skin is clearer with no more eczema. My body no longer aches. I am actually active now with my kids, even on the monkey bars! But I couldn’t have done it without changing the way I eat and the way I treat my body. Food isn’t a social thing for me anymore, it’s fuel for my body. Needless to say, I am a new woman. From size 14 to size 5. I am down 40 lbs. I can run, do push-ups, fly through sit-ups and not feel like I am going to die! I am strong. I am lean. I feel amazing. I am in control. The only regret I have is not doing it sooner. So 2018 will be my victory lap year. Kelli: 1, BRCA: 0

Kelli (Kaberle) Cravey was born and raised in Traverse City. She graduated with a communications degree from Michigan State University. She began working at the American Cancer Society in memory of her mom, Debbie Kaberle, in 2005, where she raised literally millions of dollars and awareness for breast cancer. In 2016, she relocated her family—husband and two kids—back to the Cherry Capital, where this former National Cherry Queen now uses her fundraising powers at Munson Healthcare Foundation in Philanthropy. You can reach her at kkcravey@aol.com.

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AS A CHILD and teen, I enjoyed physical activity like running, climbing trees or playing volleyball. Exercise was play! I did it because it was fun, exciting and made me feel alive. But, after college I began to feel the effects of stress. I struggled with doubt, fear, financial stress (hello student loans!) and self-sabotaging behaviors. A combination of moving to a new city, knowing no one, starting a new job, living on my own and going through a nasty breakup started to take a toll. To deal with the stress, I looked for what made me feel like a child again. What had always helped me take my mind off things was exercise.

Finding balance When healthy becomes unhealthy BY PAIGE FULLER

THE “HEALTHY” WAY

PHOTO BY JESSIE ZEVALKINK

Exercise is a great way to relieve stress, but it became the only way I could relieve the tension and anxiety in my life. It seemed like the healthy way to deal with things, so I rarely took a rest day. If I did, I filled it with some knocked-down version of exercise. On top of over-exercising, focusing on a “clean” diet became another way to control part of my life. In our healthdriven society—obsessed with eating clean, juice cleanses and looking a certain way—it was easy to get caught up in the hype. I was surrounded by new friends who were participating in bikini competitions, and my father had been diagnosed with ulcerative colitis, a highly hereditary digestive disease. I decided to overhaul my life totally to be as clean as possible and as lean as my friends. Physical activity and exercise suddenly become work instead of being the pleasure they used to be. I found myself watching the clock and counting calories. I lived on overprocessed protein shakes and coffee. I did it all because I thought it was healthy and it would take my mind off the stress in my life.

THE TURNING POINT I started training for a triathlon, pulling two-a-day workouts and eating a strict diet. I was supposed to be doing it for fun, but training consumed my entire spring! At the end of that race, I was proud for completing it, but not so proud of how I had prepared for it. I knew that it was time for a change. Despite my “healthy” lifestyle, I was constantly tired, getting sick, and I felt weak—things you would not expect from someone who is healthy. I also unintentionally lost an unhealthy amount of weight during that time, and I was not able to gain any muscle. Eventually, I started to understand that I could not maintain that type of routine much longer. After multiple blood tests, MRI’s and doctor visits, however, test results came back normal, but something was not “normal.” I started to figure out that my body needed balance, which included good nutrition, taking rests, and reducing my stress levels. I had, meanwhile, become engaged and with my wedding coming up, there was no way I was going to feel weak and tired on the happiest day of my life!

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STEPS TO RECOVERY My prescription? I stayed active but incorporated real rest days (hello Netflix!), learned to cook more than just chicken and broccoli, stopped taking my work home every night and weekend and deleted that god-awful “My Fitness Pal” app that drove me insane. I also stopped being afraid of eating carbs and fat. I also found a fitness studio in town that has made exercise fun again. The classes are short and efficient, which has eliminated my need or desire to spend hours at the gym. In March of 2017, I discovered a nutritional rebalancing system and a new way of life. That was the biggest game changer in my journey. It was the stage when I started really listening to my body. The products that I now incorporate in my life enhance what I had been striving to do on my own. I also met a group of women from all over the world, some who have struggled with the same issues I faced. They have become a family and support system. To cope with stress, which has been the hardest thing to master, I began to journal and do yoga. Discovering my hobbies outside of work and exercise has been a huge help as well. Crafting, coaching Girls on the Run, reading, walking my dog and cooking now fill my free time. The final step was a big leap of faith. To eliminate the biggest stressor in my life, I left my job. Walking away from something familiar yet toxic to start something new has been both scary and exciting.

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Grand Traverse Woman

FINDING BALANCE I believe many young women like me have probably faced one of the same issues I faced—transitioning from one life to another, getting caught up in being the “fit girl,” the “skinny one,” or even the “reliable employee no matter what” because it feels good and you get a lot of support. No one wants to be called lazy for skipping her workout or saying no, especially with #NeverMissAMonday or #NoDaysOff all over social media. However, knowing your body and your limitations is so much more important! Today, I am stronger and more fit than I ever was when I was killing myself seven days a week and carrying so much stress from all the pressure. Choosing to live a life of purpose, being intentional with my time and surrounding myself with people who motivate and inspire me daily has helped me find balance. Over the years, I have learned that we are made for so much more than we can ever imagine. Although I am still a work in progress, I try to remember how I used to feel. I know that I never want to go back to that. I have chosen a new way of being and learning–to be bold and brave, professionally, mentally and physically, as I maintain a healthy balance in my life.

hey girls! GET OUT AND PLAY!

Paige Fuller is a certified interior designer and owner of Paige Lee Interiors. While she specializes in kitchen and bath design, she also provides a range of services for her clients, including interior design consultation, interior architecture, space planning, and project management services. Paige is also an advocate for empowering others to live their healthiest, most active and most fulfilling lifestyles. Contact her at paige@paigeleeinteriors.com.

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PHOTO BY DONNA HOGARD

Making a Move at

BY BETTY HOGARD

WHEN I LOOK BACK on my life, I see it as if it were a book filled with chapters. In one chapter, I saw three kids through college (what fun!). In another, I took care of my mom for 10 years (keeping her out of a nursing home), and in another I helped my husband with his Alzheimer’s disease (until he recently passed away at age 90). There’s even a chapter where I kept my grandson’s dog while he was at Interlochen Arts Academy. Every turn of the page has brought new memories, new experiences, and new perspectives on life. This past summer, however, I suddenly found myself facing a new, unexpected decision.

SAYING YES Alone in a big house in Indianapolis, except for my grandson’s dog, I saw the potential for a new chapter before me. Should I sit tight in the big house, or should I move somewhere new? That house had been my home for well over 50 years. My three kids had grown up there. Its memories provided a great comfort, but I thought there must surely be more to life than an empty house full of memories. Lucky for me: I have a son in Florida, a daughter in Indianapolis, and a daughter in Traverse City. I knew I could be happy if I chose to stay or move near one of them, but I wasn’t sure what to do. Then Donna, my daughter in Traverse City, called with unexpected news. “Hey mom, the apartment next to me is going to be open soon. Do you want it?” A new opportunity had fallen into my lap!

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Now all I needed to do was decide: stay with the memories, or go to Traverse City, where I had visited only once before? My other daughter chimed in with, “I think you should do it, Mom!” At 85 years old, I didn’t know anyone else starting over at my age, unless they were heading for Florida, but that wasn’t for me. I hate the heat and love the snow. I’ve always been one to leap into adventure, not afraid to do what someone else would shun, so I told my daughters I would think about it. It only took one night of sleeping on it before I decided: Yes, I would move to Traverse City!

TURNING THE PAGE There I was, packing my winter clothes in 90-degree August heat, amazed at how quickly everything had transpired. At 85, I would be starting over. Time to turn the page to Traverse City! The hurdles here have been few, thanks to my wonderful daughters running interference for me. There have been some challenges, though. After so many decades with the same bills and predictability, I had to deal with new banks and utilities. The Indianapolis banks kept making incorrect transfers to Traverse City (resulting in my first bounced check ever!). Installing a temperamental TV, and setting up phone service came with their own issues. For instance, my daughter was trying to correct a problem on the phone when the lady said, “Yes, we can do that right away. I’ll transfer you.” The automated voice followed up by

saying, “Wait time, one hour.” We chose to be patient and simply laugh. All of these changes have helped me develop patience (that I didn’t have before) with modern technology, and I’ve overcome the headaches they used to cause me.

THE OLD AND NEW The past three months have brought back old memories and created new ones. Sometimes my cute little apartment seems like a home I’ve lived in for years. Other times, it feels like I’m taking a long vacation from Indianapolis. I don’t live in the big house anymore, but all of the memories that filled it moved up here with me. I’ve learned this: Having a few of your favorite things from home can make you feel “at home” wherever you are. My daughters have also had a hand at making home feel close by. All this is to say, I’d do it all again in a heartbeat! I’m proud of how I’ve lived my life, but I’m also glad that I had the courage to start over in Traverse City. At 85, I have good health, and I am looking forward to the next chapter of my life. A chapter in which I’m surrounded by nature, family and memories. Should the time come when I need to start over again, I will be ready. If the next chapter calls for another move, I won’t look back. I will simply turn the page and move! (And where is the snow? Don’t make me move to Alaska!) Betty Hogard is a mother and grandmother who loves nature, snow and rocks. She recently made a big move to Traverse City, after 50 years of living in the same house.

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Grand Traverse Woman

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A Whole New Life Bariatric procedures are not for everyone. People qualify for weight loss surgery only if it is the best choice for their health, and they demonstrate the required commitment, motivation, education, and medical history. Munson Medical Center’s nationally accredited program provides long-term support and thorough follow-up care. To learn more, join us for a free, informational seminar. “Six months after surgery, I met my goal. I literally cried the day I put my CPAP machine away. I was so, so happy. This surgery saved my life. My back pain and knee pain are gone. The last time I weighed 150 pounds, I was in the fourth grade. This is the healthiest I’ve ever been.” - Veronica Ramos, 47

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Bariatric Surgery Seminars Tuesday, January 16 | 6 - 8 pm Traverse City: Munson Medical Center Conference Room 1-3, Lower Level Cadillac: Munson Healthcare Cadillac Hospital via video conference Charlevoix: Munson Healthcare Charlevoix Hospital via video conference Gaylord: Otsego Memorial Hospital via video conference Grayling: Munson Healthcare Grayling Hospital via video conference Manistee: Munson Healthcare Manistee Hospital via video conference

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was in his late 40s with a child in college when we married. The idea of having our own children was tabled long before we started sleeping in separate rooms. Our age difference made finding couple-friends a challenge. One of us always felt out of place. Being part of the university was, in its own way, like living in a small town. Because my husband was faculty and I was staff, I was usually introduced as “Chris’s wife.” Someone feeling generous, might throw in: “She writes too!” My life wasn’t great. But it wasn’t so bad. I had much to be grateful for. Sure, I only saw my family twice a year, unless there was a medical emergency. At least I had a job that allowed me to take time off when they needed me. And weren’t there plenty of married couples who lived without intimacy? At least my husband and I were a functional household, if not a functional married couple. Whenever I thought about where else in the world I could make a life, only one place came to mind: Northern Michigan. “Home.” But I had to earn a living. What did I have to offer the “real world” outside of academia’s bubble? I’d pack away thoughts of going home and resign myself to “not so bad” being good enough. ERIC WEISS PHOTOGRAPHY

AN EXPERIMENT

Quitting My Life HOW I RETURNED

HOME

TO BEGIN AGAIN BY MI DITMAR

“IF I QUIT MY LIFE and move back here, I’m blaming you!” That’s what I told my former classmate while catching up over a beer the summer after our 20-year high school reunion. My friend reminisced about being a “Blockhead Jock,” while I was “Lady Gaga before Lady Gaga.” I didn’t wear a meat dress to prom, but I did rock an antique priest’s coat and combat boots. I also wore my attitude as armor. I was the girl who couldn’t wait to go someplace where I could reinvent myself. I’d always wanted to be a writer. When I had the chance to be part of a writers’ community with Syracuse (NY) University’s Creative Writing Program, I packed up my car and moved, having never visited the place. That was almost 15 years ago. Yet listening to my friend talk about living here now, I felt a powerful pull. My sister and her husband were moving back and my parents were still here. They were older and having more serious health issues. But quit my life?

GETTING AWAY I’d earned an MFA in fiction. Maybe I wasn’t writing much myself, but I got to be around writers. I married a poet on the faculty at Syracuse. Our friends were writers. We hosted parties for the writers who came to the university to give readings. Famous writers even—ones I’d idolized growing up when books were my escape. I had a nice house, an administrative job coordinating a multi-university research consortium and did some part-time teaching for the university. My life was great!

GOOD ENOUGH Except it wasn’t. The man I’d married was, at best, a congenial roommate with whom I shared a bank account. At first, we’d talked about starting a family, but he

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Then my mother had a health crisis. She’d weathered more serious diagnoses, but this one threatened her vision and her hearing. She used to be an athlete but now walking was a struggle for her. The pull to come home was more urgent than ever. I decided to do an experiment. I set up a job search for Northern Michigan using key words from my résumé just to see what would happen. The first week I got two alerts, the next week three more. Just for the heck of it, I told myself so I’d have the nerve, I applied to the positions that seemed best aligned with my experience, even if they were in fields I was unfamiliar with. The first offer came fast—too fast. I wasn’t ready. I couldn’t just skip out on my responsibilities. I turned down the job. If I was going to start over, first I had to finish things where I was. Dismantling my life was surprisingly easy. My husband and I put our house up for sale and started divorce mediation. The lawyer congratulated us on being such nice, reasonable people. We divvied up the books that had been signed to us over the years and split the list of our mutual friends to inform we were parting ways. (He’d wanted to throw a divorce party and invite them all to it, but I nixed that idea.) When I told my boss my plans, he looked pained but said, “Anywhere you go, they’ll be lucky to have you.” Then he offered to let me work remotely part-time while they looked for my replacement.

BRAVE ENOUGH Time moved on and my job hunt stalled. I wondered if I’d made a mistake not taking that first offer. Then, during a late winter thaw, I received two solid offers on the same day. I had choices. But what if I chose wrong? Not which offer to take—but on choosing to take the leap? Was I brave enough? The truth was, if I’d been doing it just for me because I was unhappy, I might have rationalized it was too selfish. Too greedy. But moving to be near the people I love—and with their support—I found the courage to be brave enough. It's been about nine months since I moved and started a new career in a new field. The hardest part about being back here is also the best part: people know me here. They know me well enough to tell when I’ve had a bad day (and yes, there have been bad days since I rebooted my life). But they also know me well enough to know what I need when those days happen. As for my former classmate, contrary to blaming him for my quitting my life and moving back here, I thank him. Every day. Mi Ditmar is a native of Traverse City. As of last April, she is the the Communications and Marketing Coordinator for a local health care provider—a job she found through old-fashioned networking. She also teaches online creative writing workshops for Syracuse University and is the fiction editor for the literary journal Night Block. Her poetry is featured in The Stone Circle Documentary, a 2017 Official Selection of the Soo Film Festival, the Royal Starr Film Festival and the Atlanta Docufest.

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BY MARY ROBINSON

I RESIDE on the south side of Torch Lake, and I feel blessed to live and work in this great community. I take each day as a gift, living each day to the fullest. I didn’t used to feel this way though. I often took for granted the good things in life: weekends on the boat, trips to Mackinac with family, bonfires with friends, and a social calendar full of weddings and graduations. Granted that can lead to a busy schedule and poor work/life balance, it can also distract you. I truly never appreciated those special moments. Instead, I was constantly motivated to find the bigger, better thing, and never appreciated the importance of being where I was. That all changed before I turned thirty.

Diagnosed at age 29 I was 29 when I was diagnosed with breast cancer. My mother and grandmother had each been diagnosed with it at 50, with my grandmother passing away the same year she was diagnosed. Even with the family history, however, I was stunned. Because of the aggressive nature of my cancer and my risk factors—including my family history—an MRI was scheduled immediately in Grand Rapids. At 3 a.m. I will never forget the look on the radiologist's face when I came out of the tube and asked, "How does it look?" I could see the answer on his face. Within 20 hours, I learned that my surgery would need to be scheduled ASAP.

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Grand Traverse Woman

Because everything happened so quickly, I moved through the next few days in a state of shock. I wanted to know what was happening, but the only thing the physicians could relate was that they needed to get pathology reports and would assess everything after surgery. The surgery happened 10 days after the MRI. I had a bilateral mastectomy with natural reconstruction. In the weeks after the 11-hour surgery, I was so exhausted—physically from trying to heal, and mentally not really know what to expect in the upcoming months and years.

Hurdles and healing After surgery, my biggest hurdle was looking in the mirror. The surgery completely changes you. It destroys you for a bit because you feel almost like a freak—you don’t look like “a girl” anymore. Then there were the physical changes. You can’t do what you used to do. For me, it meant taking a step back from running five miles a day, kayaking, and my goal to complete a marathon. The scars hurt—they still do—but I re-prioritized, refocused, and moved forward, even though it was a different pace than what I did before. After my diagnosis, I saw a timeline of everything I wanted to do, and not enough time to do it. After surgery and treatment, I decided to start doing the things I’d been putting off.

I realized that I was transforming. I was the same person, but different in that I felt the need to support other women who were going or had gone through the same experience. I also had this sense of urgency to complete things and see things that I hadn’t before.

A different future First, I knew I needed to return to school to gain my Doctor in Nursing Practice (DNP). I very much enjoyed working with students in nursing school, but to teach at the university level, I needed my DNP. After 15 years away from school, it was a challenge, but I accomplished it. I also needed to drastically refocus on goals that I had put on my 10-, 15- and 20-year plans. I needed to get those done now. I’m no longer putting off my bucket list—I recently returned from the south of France, where I watched the sun rise over a terra cotta-tiled roof! Finally, I realized that I need to help educate women (and men!) on breast cancer. My diagnosis was a wake-up call for my girlfriends. Many went

to their physicians and finally had their (often overdue) mammograms. Many people in northern Michigan are not getting the correct answers about breast cancer—there is so much misinformation out there. I joined the Antrim County High Tea for Breast Cancer Prevention, an amazing organization that proactively educates, as well as provides mammogram information and testing.

Accepting each gift without fear Though I am cancer free for now, I’m really in a holding pattern, undergoing tests routinely. A close co-worker was recently diagnosed with cancer a second time—after 19 years clear. That was a jolt to me, as survivors often become confident as more time passes. I don’t want to live in fear though, and I want to help others realize there are options beyond fear. As my oncologist told me, “Worry will never change the end result.” I take this message with me every day, and remind myself to treat each day as a gift.

Mary Robinson is the Regional Nurse Programs Coordinator at Grand Valley State University. She provides education for nurses interested in advancing their degrees in nursing or obtaining a nursing degree. As a former Munson critical care nurse, she appreciates all the sacrifices made by nurses at the expense of family, personal life, and sleep to work in such a challenging, but rewarding profession. She can be reached at robinma1@gvsu.edu. Visit Antrim County High Tea at www.antrimcountyhighteaforbreastcancerprevention.org.

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Grand Traverse

WOMAN

Fitness & Health

Classes

For all ages and levels • Total Barre™ • Yoga • Pilates • Meditation • Whole Foods • Probiotics + MORE New year, new you— sign up today!

231.995.1700 nmc.edu/fitness

NMC Extended Education www.grandtraversewoman.com

NOV 9-11, 2018

Now taking $100 deposits to hold your seat. We will announce the musical/show we will be seeing as soon as we see what’s coming out! Email kandace@grandtraversewoman.com to confirm your group.

Party Time!

Visit www.grandtraversewoman.com for more information and to reserve your group.

Brought to you by:

Grand Traverse WOMAN

Jan/Feb '18 23


Grand Traverse Woman

MAKE LONDON'S PAST

YOUR PRESENT. Vacation in this capital of culture, fashion and more.

Contact your local travel professional: D iane Groenevelt 231-932-6761 Email: DGGroenevelt@AAAMichigan.com

A.DELTA VACATIONS AAA Traverse City

©2017 Delta Vacations DV30890

T R AV E R S E C I T Y BANKING TEAM

BETHANY DESIGN

Fast and affordable design work

Bethany Gulde 231.645.1072 bethany.gulde@gmail.com www.bethanydesigntc.com

logos • ads • posters • brochures • business cards • invitations • magazine/book layout

EXPLORE CATHOLIC SCHOOLS FREE EVENTS | OPEN TO THE PUBLIC JUNGLE GYM TODDLER PLAYTIME

Held in the Traverse City St. Francis gymnasium for children ages 0-5 with their caregivers, 10-11:00 am January 9, 16, 23, and 30; February 6, 13, 20, 27

Left to right: Dan Stoudt, Dan Galbraith, Andy Sabatine, John Klingelsmith and Michael Caruso

PRESCHOOL/KINDERGARTEN OPEN HOUSE*

Community Focused. Client Driven.

At Holy Angels Preschool & Elementary January 23, February 13 | 9-10:00 am/10-10:30 am

KINDERGARTEN INFORMATION NIGHT* Look to the mBank team for your business banking, cash management, mortgage and commercial lending needs. Your business goals are closer than you think. Let’s make them happen. Together.

At Holy Angels Elementary February 13 | 6:00 pm

SHADOW DAY* (Grade 1 and older)

Michael A. Caruso

Dan Galbraith

John Klingelsmith

Vice President, Senior Commercial Banking Officer

Assistant Vice President, District Branch Supervisor

Assistant Vice President, Mortgage Loan Officer

mcaruso@bankmbank.com

dgalbraith@bankmbank.com

jklingelsmith@bankmbank.com

Individual NMLS #563180

Individual NMLS #208987

Andy Sabatine

Dan Stoudt

Regional President, Northern Lower Michigan

Assistant Vice President, Mortgage Loan Officer

asabatine@bankmbank.com

dstoudt@bankmbank.com

At all schools –February 20 during the school day TOGETHER UNDER ONE ROOF IN 2018 HOLY ANGELS PRESCHOOL & ELEMENTARY Preschool through 3RD 130 East Tenth Street, Traverse City (231) 995-8425

IMMACULATE CONCEPTION ELEMENTARY 4TH through 5TH 314 Vine Street, Traverse City (231) 947-1252

Individual NMLS# 500598

Traverse City mBank NMLS #465939

bankmbank.com

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Jan/Feb '18

231.929.5600 Member FDIC. Equal Housing Lender.

WWW.GTACS.ORG

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Grand Traverse Woman

APPLY NOW FOR GTWOMAN’S SEE JANE LOSE 2018 PROGRAM!

e

WE WILL SELECT THREE OF OUR GTWOMAN READERS TO PARTICIPATE IN A FREE 8-WEEK WEIGHT-LOSS PROGRAM RUNNING FEB. 10-APRIL 8.

See Jane Lose

That’s right, gals, it’s time to make that MAKEOVER change you’ve been wanting for so long. If you’ve got at least 20 lbs. to lose, are able to commit to an intense 8-week program and have the all-important “sass” factor, apply today! This will be our 10th year doing the program and over the years our

The Sweat

The Perks

The Start

Our 3 Janes will take part in an 8-week program at our sponsor, FIT FOR YOU HEALTH CLUB in Traverse City. The program includes:

Our additional sponsors will offer:

Applicants must fill out a 1-page application and send us that “before” picture you want to say goodbye to! The program runs Feb. 10 to April 8. (One week off for Spring Break). Janes will be featured in three issues of GTWoman as their progress unfolds, as well as be celebrated at a Jane Finale party in the spring.

• 16 fat-blasting body transformation coaching sessions with the Jane team

See Jane Grand Traverse Lose

WOMAN

www.grandtraversewoman.com

Janes have lost over 500 lbs. total! Can you handle the spotlight? The sweat? The success? If so, visit www.grandtraversewoman.com and put your name in the hat for this opportunity to make a big change with GTWoman!

• 8 confidence building group challenges MAKEOVER • 4 educational seminars

• 8 week Fit For You membership • Done-for-you-meal plan • Nutrition and exercise journal • Ongoing nutritional counseling • Unlimited email coaching and more!

GTOC: Skin care for the Janes, plus eyewear Salon Moxie: Hair color & cut, manicure, make-up and blow out Photography by Sarah Brown Photography: Before & After photos of each Jane Anne Bonney: Behind-the-scenes coaching and support for each Jane. At Your Service Cleaning 1 house cleaning for each Jane Plus Janes get free tickets to all GTWoman events during the program!

Apply at grandtraversewoman.com Deadline Jan. 19, 2018 Reveal at April 11th Luncheon.

Jan/Feb '18 25


Grand Traverse Woman

1226 S. Garfield Ave ● Traverse City, MI 231-922-7285 ● www.FITFORYOU.info

Where Oh Where Has My Balance Gone Now?

F

or years you’ve never thought twice about putting on your pants or your socks in the morning, but then all of a sudden, out of nowhere you find yourself looking for something to hold onto or lean on just to get dressed. Well you are not alone… It seems as we start north of 50, we start losing our There are some very specific exercises balance (amongst many other things). that will help you progress quickly and keep you safe and independent. You But there is good news! will be asking yourself—‘why haven’t I started this sooner?’ Every Tuesday and Thursday at Fit For You Health Club we hold a class that tackles just that—Senior Balance and Stability.

Give us a call today at 231-922-7285 and ask for Michele.

for all of your special event toral and decor needs www.307events.com 231.486.5307 sales@307events.com

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Northern Michigan

Northern Michigan 1348 S. West Silver Lake Road Northern Michigan 1348 S. West Lake Road Traverse City, Silver MI 49685 1348 S. West Lake Road Traverse City,Silver MI 49685 231.947.8880 Traverse City, MI 49685 twomennorthernmichigan.com 231.947.8880

Unlease your power with Pilates + yoga + nonstop movement! You’ll sweat, stretch, and strenghten—all in one workout. Define exactly how you want to look and feel. No weights. No bulk. Just hardcore results. Interested in a PiYo LIVE class? Join me at 2 locations: Fit For You in Traverse City Cake Fitness in Interlochen Instructor: Kerry Winkler For more info or to register for classes: kerrymae@charter.net Follow on Facebook: Kerry Mae Fitness

twomennorthernmichigan.com 231.947.8880 Each franchise is individually owned and operated. twomennorthernmichigan.com

Each franchise is individually owned and operated. U.S. DOT No. 1469296 | MC 554951 | MPSC 32908

U.S. DOT No. 1469296 | MC 554951 | MPSC 32908

Each franchise is individually owned and operated. U.S. DOT No. 1469296 | MC 554951 | MPSC 32908

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Grand Traverse Woman

2018

Grand Traverse Woman LUNCHEONS Beth Price Photography

Wednesday, Feb. 14th 11am-1pm

Jennifer Lake, Owner Brand Tonic “I’m not creative!” If that’s your catchphrase, then this luncheon is for you! Meet Jennifer Lake – a creative designer with a lot of energy and loads of ideas to share. As a creative professional, she helps motivate teams through brainstorming exercises and works with clients to tell their stories in fresh, original ways. She’s an idea generator and she’ll teach you how to become one too!

FALL IN Love

Everyone is capable of being creative, (Baby, we were born this way!) but sometimes we just need to free our minds to think differently.

WITH

CREATIVITY

In this engaging talk, Jennifer will show you how to strengthen your creative muscles with simple brain exercises. You’ll spend lunch crafting ideas and leave with brainstorming tips to take back to your team. By the end, you’ll be feeling connected to that creative being you thought you left behind in 3rd grade.

Jennifer Lake, Owner Brand Tonic

For example, learn how to harness the benefits of creativity in your daily life, inject creativity into “the same old” date night, and invent new games and activities with your kids.

Speaker

As the founder of Brand Tonic, a creative branding and design studio in Traverse City, Jennifer has a passion for ideas, color and community. She works with many businesses and non-profits across the state creating logos, brand messaging, websites, advertising and more with her amazing team of creatives. Visit http://brand-tonic.com for more on her business.

NETWORKING VENDOR BOOTHS PLATED LUNCH Located at Hagerty Conference Center Lunch tickets: $35/each or 2 for $60

Outside of work, you might find Jennifer singing on stage or emceeing a local, community event. And if you attend the GTW Bus Trip to Chicago in the fall, you might just witness her collection of wigs and costumes as co-host on Bus 2. (She’s not afraid to have some fun!) Join us Wednesday, Feb. 14th on Valentine’s Day for a luncheon you’ll love!

Vendor booths: $185 (includes 2 lunch tix)

www.grandtraversewoman.com Grand Traverse

WOMAN

www.grandtraversewoman.com

Jan/Feb '18 27


Grand Traverse Woman

BY JAN MORRISON

JAN MORRISON AT HER HOME IN TRAVERSE CITY.

MY 98-YEAR-OLD FATHER

always said you have to have a purpose in life because that enhances everything you do. I have found that your purpose changes as you move along in life, but a new purpose is always available if you’re open to finding it! I taught art for most of my life at schools in Ohio, Virginia, South Carolina, Connecticut and Michigan. After so many years with such a clear purpose (helping students develop their own unique artistic expression), I found myself retired and ready for the next step. I had to find my next purpose.

THE 4TH GRADE TRIP I can pinpoint the moment when I first discovered art. I was in the fourth grade, and our class took a trip to the Grand Rapids Art Museum. I had never been to an art museum before, and I remember feeling awe and wonder that there was an entire building with nothing but art in it! For me, it was similar to being in church—a sort of spiritual experience. I was hypnotized by those magnificent works. The energy of the broad, black, brush strokes in the contemporary piece by Franz Kline. The deep, beautiful blue in the Madonna and Child terra cotta piece by artist Luca della Robbia. I was so entranced that the chaperone had to tap me on the shoulder more than once for me to catch up with the rest of the group. As I looked out the bus window on the ride back to school, I did not see the city passing by. Instead, my head whirled with all the images

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I had admired at the museum. That’s when I decided that, since I wasn’t good in math and the art teacher always hung up my art, I would become an artist!

THE CLASSROOM All throughout high school and college, I explored what it meant to be an artist. I found enormous gratification in just being aware of the world around me. I noticed the shadow of an ant or a blade of grass, and I saw art in each. For over 20 years as an art teacher, I enjoyed helping students tap into their own imaginations so they could let loose on paper or in clay. It was tremendously gratifying when I looked around and every student in the room was deeply involved in his or her own project. As a single parent, and after teaching art to 700 elementary students, I had little energy at the end of the week to focus on my own artwork. I didn’t mind, though. It was rewarding to help children discover their own joy in making art. I was able to take what I had learned through years of exploring intense levels of focus and imagination in my own artwork and give that experience and awareness to my students.

LOSING MY PURPOSE In January of 2008, with only five more months before I retired, my mother entered a nursing home. Shortly thereafter, my father entered assisted living. As the child closest in proximity, I spent the next eight years taking care of my parents. Eldercare became my job. At first, I felt lost. No longer an art teacher, I

focused solely on tending to my parents’ needs. Where was my purpose? My art? My goals?

THE RENEWAL For me, color had always added energy to everything, and I needed those bursts of energy back in my life. To make that happen, I committed myself to going to my garage studio every day to do whatever I wanted, even if it was only reading about art.

JAN’S JANUARY 2018 CALENDAR ILLUSTRATION.

One day, I wanted to play around with watercolors. I thought about those Easter eggs that you can peek inside of and see a whole, tiny world. I decided to create my own miniature world of cozy and comfortable places where I would like to read. As I drew and painted the miniature world (wearing a viewing magnifier) I was transported into that world I was creating. I didn’t think

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Grand Traverse Woman

about bills to be paid or worry about my parents. It refreshed me to experience those moments of joy while creating a cozy reading spot on paper. Every day I looked forward to being in my studio.

FINDING A NEW PURPOSE Soon I had all of these drawings of cozy places where one could enjoy a book. I began to wonder how I could use them for daily enjoyment. I hadn’t planned to make a calendar, but I found myself asking, “Why not?” My dad had always been able to make anything with his hands. If Mom needed more counter space, or the kids needed a desk, he would draw up a plan and build it. It seemed natural for me, having grown up with that kind of an influence, to apply my imagination and skills toward making the kind of calendar I wanted: a desk calendar with no advertisements, a fun quote about books and reading, and a nice picture for every month. My own daily dose of joy.

Grand Traverse

WOMAN

GTWoman Network Nite Wednesday, Jan. 10th • 5-7pm

Wear a Winter Hat!

Happy Winter

Wear a fun WINTER HAT to the event if you’d like. We expect to see snowmen, reindeer and snowflakes atop your heads! GTWoman events are focused on easy, fun connections made in a low-key atmosphere. Cue laughs, drinks and genuine relationships! We will have food and drinks by Sauce - enjoy their pizza and sit down for a real meal together at Incredible Mo’s. BEST HAT wins free tickets to a GTW event!

Tickets JAN MORRISON IN HER HOME STUDIO CREATING A PAINTING FOR HER CALENDAR.

Some of my friends saw the calendar and wanted one for themselves. They also wanted calendars as gifts for their friends. The demand for my calendars grew from year to year. People asked for quicker ways to order other than mailing. That led to my taking the business to the internet. This year I went all in and decided to invest in my passion as a small business. My passion steered me right into a new purpose. When I no longer enjoy making the calendars, I’ll stop, but I don’t fear not finding a new purpose. I’ve learned to trust that my intuition and passion will lead me. Until then, I’m enjoying the process. I love that the calendar quotes inspire thought, and that the drawings add some tranquility to people's busy lives. I believe that's a purpose worth pursuing. Jan Morrison is a retired art teacher residing in Traverse City. She is the owner and resident artist of Book Lover's Lark. When she’s not busy creating, she immerses herself in all that Northern Michigan has to offer, and applying this influence to her work. Visit BookLoversLark. com to shop her unique book-inspired gifts, and follow Book Lover's Lark on Instagram and Facebook for little moments of inspiration, and to keep up with the latest “Lark” news. Jan can be reached at hello@ bookloverslark.com.

Speakers & Prizes Wine & Appetizers

Join Us! YOUR 15 Seconds of Fame: If you’d like to donate a prize for the evening, email Kandace@grandtraversewoman.com. We accept 10 women to take a moment at the mic to introduce themselves and give away a prize related to their business. Bonus: Aunt B’s famous cake!

save $5

off your ticket online with coupon code

Corporate Sponsor

gtwlove Location Sponsor

1355 Silver Lake Crossings Blvd. Grawn, MI 49637

Supporting Sponsors

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Jan/Feb '18 29


Grand Traverse Woman

Running My First

How I lost 60 lbs. changed my life BY KARI MASSA

NEVER.

It was a word I used frequently throughout my life. It’s funny, though, how life changes you, how the small things become big things and how tragedy shapes your decisions. Things we never expect to happen do happen, and somewhere along the way our “nevers” start to change too.

THE FIRST STEP My life changed the moment I started running. I had no idea what I was doing, and, honestly, I didn’t care. I needed something to change in my life. I needed security and something I could control. My journey started with wanting to lose the extra 60 pounds I was carrying. I knew I needed more than a diet change, so I paired clean/vegetarian eating with running in early November 2015. Surprisingly, eating clean was easy. I think my body was craving the change, and I learned to love meal prepping. I had hated running for most of my life and found excuses to “never” run again, but I knew I needed to try to stick with it. I signed up for the Traverse City Track Club (TCTC) so I could meet other runners and, hopefully, begin to hone my skills. At first, I really struggled with breathing, something that wasn’t easy to get past without persistence. With the support of the TCTC, I didn’t give up, even when I wanted to quit. They encouraged and challenged me, becoming the driving force that helped me overcome obstacles as a “newbie” runner.

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In May 2016, I ran my first half-marathon at the local Bayshore Marathon event and—let me tell you—that year the weather was brutal. Hot, muggy and zero breeze. Pretty much a recipe for disaster. I pushed through, though, and finished strong. After that race I remember saying, “I will ‘never’ run a full marathon.” In June 2016, I ran another half-marathon and followed that with my first trail race. And that is when I instantly fell in love with trail running! I kept pushing my limits that year by racing and working out at the gym. By August, I had lost over 60 pounds. I was in the best shape of my life and running much faster than I ever thought I would when I began my journey.

I hadn’t even attempted a full marathon yet! I started signing up for full marathons that winter and for the spring 2017 race season. I had always run for time and possibly to place. I had placed numerous times already, but knew that my mindset needed to change to get through my first marathon because I hadn’t given myself enough time to train properly to maintain a faster pace. Nothing is harder for a competitive athlete than to forfeit time just to finish! Despite that, I had this amazing running group, Michigan Runners (MR) that I had become involved with. MR is a statewide running group geared towards support and camaraderie. They helped calm my fears and encouraged me to do my best.

RAISING THE STAKES

On May 28, 2017, I ran my first marathon—the Bayshore Marathon. I met up with a Facebook friend who was running her first full marathon too, and we decided to run together. That race will always be my favorite—it was literally a perfect day with a slight breeze, comfortable temps and lots of laughter and positivity between us. At mile 25.5, our Michigan Runner family came and paced us to the finish. I will never forget that support. When we crossed the finish line, having spent over five hours on the course together, we both started crying. Even writing this makes me tear up. It was one of the best days of my life. I had done it, something I thought I would “never” do. I ran 26.2 miles.

It was the 2016 Woodstock half-marathon in Pinckney, Mich., however, that really changed things for me. I drove four hours by myself to run one of the toughest trail races in the state. I ran through a foot of mud, up over 2,000 feet of elevation gain, and in hot, humid air, but I did it! That’s also the weekend that I got a view of “ultra” running as I watched those 100-mile, 100-kilometer and 50-kilometer runners go through the checkpoint by my campsite. I sat there and cheered for hours. I was mesmerized by the smiles on their faces and the determination in their strides. I knew then that I wanted to try it—just once I wanted to run beyond 26.2 miles… the funny thing was

BREAKING BARRIERS

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Grand Traverse Woman

I ran another marathon four weeks later and struggled on the last half due to being alone on the course. At mile 25, however, my Michigan Runner and TCTC family was there to pace me as I ran through a tunnel of runners cheering me to the finish. Nothing can compare to the support I have found in these running communities. Nothing. The best part of my journey thus far is that this year I fulfilled my dream of running an Ultra, which is any distance over 26.2 miles. I completed a 50k (31 miles) this year at Woodstock, the same race that had sparked my interested the previous year.

NEVER SAY NEVER Saying goodbye to the "nevers" in my life has allowed me to live at my own pace without restrictions. These days I’m replacing "never" with "why not" because you have no idea what you are truly capable of until you try! I didn’t, but now I can say that I am one of the one-percent of people in the world who have run an ultra marathon. It’s a title I will always treasure. Kari Massa is an Ultra Trail Runner who lives in Traverse City with her pup, Gus. She is the volunteer Athletic Coordinator for the local RWB (Red, White & Blue) chapter, which helps enrich the lives of America’s veterans by connecting them to their community through physical and social activity. She also recently helped launch MR North, a local Facebook page for support and connection through Michigan Runners. She coordinates evening trail runs in the summer, and recently began the twice-a-month Warriors of Winter evening running series for anyone who wants to join. She can be reached at runnerforlife75@gmail.com.

Dr. Anna Lammers, OD, FAAO

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Grand Traverse Woman

Thank you for voting us Red Hot Best Radio Host or Team

WHAT’S FOR DINNER?!

Aaron

Heather

Stop in to see the professionals at Burritt’s Fresh Markets and let them help you solve this daily dilemma. Whether you’re looking for a quick meal to heat and serve, or ingredients to make something from scratch, we have you covered. Need a meal or appetizer idea? Just ask! Serving Traverse City since 1987. 509 West Front Street, Traverse City www.burrittsmarket.com 231-946-3300 In a hurry? Call your order in!

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Northern Michigan’s premier bourdoir studio www.SarahBrown-Photograpy.com ~ 231-883-7481 32

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curriesfurniture.com Jan/Feb '18 33


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My Brother’s Suicide BY ANGIE MORGAN

I WAS LIVING in North Carolina when I got a frantic early morning phone call from my dad: “Dan’s missing. Do you know where he is?” A wave of emotions rushed through me—confusion, panic, fear. My younger brother, who was staying at my parents’ house in Northern Michigan, disappeared in the middle of the night. He left no note. A rifle was also missing. I flew back home immediately so I could be with my family and start a search party. I sent notice to my husband, Matt, a Marine who was deployed overseas, in the hopes that he could request to come home. All the while, I was in a state of shock. My world, and understanding of it, had turned upside down. As days passed and no news emerged, my family and I began to lose hope. When the sheriff knocked on my parents’ door to confirm our greatest fear, my grief, combined with guilt, was more than I could take. I fell apart. To make matters worse, after the funeral I had to go home, back to my life away from my family. Matt had to return to his assignment. And for the next several months, I’d be completely, entirely alone.

COPING ALONE For the first few weeks, I’d go through the motions of work just to do what I had to do to get by. I’d then come home to an empty house, where I made several failed attempts at falling back into a routine. I also cried. A lot. Fortunately, I had several friends, women whose husbands were also deployed, who came to my rescue. They were always going to the movies, grabbing dinner together and playing cards. I never was without an invitation, and even when I didn’t want to go, they’d insist I did go. They also encouraged me to get help. Help can be hard to find, especially when you’ve never asked for it before. I decided to seek counseling, one of the best decisions I made. When I was with friends, I didn’t want to talk about my brother because I didn’t want to bring them down. When I talked with my family, I tried so hard to put on a good face because I didn’t want them to worry about me. When I was with my counselor, quite frankly, I could be real. It just felt good to have someone listen to me and help me work through what I needed to do in order to get through another week.

OTHER STORIES During this time, I also discovered that listening had a powerful healing effect on me. Following Dan’s death, I had so many people reach out and share their experiences and, oddly enough, it was comforting to hear them talk about their own loved ones.

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ANGIE AND HER BROTHER DAN.

They spoke of their journey of acceptance, which moved me. I desperately wanted to be in a position where I could say my brother’s name without losing it, so to hear others talk so calmly about their loss gave me hope that one day I could, too. In retrospect, I never realized so many people I knew had survivor stories. Or, for that matter, how many deaths I knew about but didn’t realize they were, in fact, suicides. It’s like families went to great lengths to keep their suicide stories a secret. One of the things I’ve since learned about suicide is that no one wants to talk about it. Suicide is its own unique kind of tragedy. For those of us who love life, and fight so hard to keep everything in balance, it’s difficult to understand how someone can make a choice to end his life. For the victim, I can only imagine it to be a heartbreaking journey, one done in solitude, because no one wants to admit he doesn’t have the will to live. When Dan died, it sent a shock wave through our friends and family. None of us knew he had suicidal thoughts. We knew he was having trouble transitioning out of college, but we grossly underestimated his pain and depression.

HOW TO HELP As I look back, it seems that all of us held pieces to the puzzle but didn’t know how they all worked together to create the picture that Dan needed help. While none of us is responsible for his death, I’m convinced that, had we been more aware or acted on our intuition, there were things we could have done to try to prevent it. We could have confronted him and had the uncomfortable conversation that we didn’t think things were OK. When he’d say that he was

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Grand Traverse Woman

“all right,” we didn’t have to believe him. We could have called each other and asked if others were seeing what we were seeing. This, of course, is all in hindsight. Believe me, I’ve secondguessed all my decisions leading up to my dad’s phone call. If only I would have … I should have … why didn’t I? The only thing I can do now is go forward. We all know someone—right now—who is struggling. What we often don’t know, though, is the depth of his or her despair. We won’t know, either, unless we ask. While writing and reliving Dan’s story brings up difficult memories, I hope that it inspires you either to share or engage. Share your story of loss, so that others can feel less alone in their grief. Engage others, too, so that you might ask the right questions to get others the help that they need. We each have the power to ease someone’s pain, and make his or her life better. My greatest hope is that we use this power to enhance our community to the benefit of one another.

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Angie Morgan is the co-founder of Lead Star, and author of “Leading from the Front,” and “SPARK,” a New York Times Best-Seller. She lives in Traverse City with her husband, Matt, and their two sons. She can be reached at amorgan@leadstar.us.

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Grand Traverse Woman

DECEMBER 2017, MORE THAN A YEAR AFTER HIS SURGERY, PHOEBE AND CHRISTIAN ENJOY A SNOWY DAY IN NORTHERN MICHIGAN.

AS A NEW YORK CITY GIRL, I was introduced to Northern Michigan during vacations with my then-boyfriend (now husband) Christian, who grew up in Metro Detroit. We fell in love with everything up here: camping at Sleeping Bear Dunes, road tripping through the UP and enjoying Grand Traverse Bay. After a few years in downtown Detroit, we decided to take the plunge and bought a place up north. In New York, I had spent several years working in travel for National Geographic and Lindblad Expeditions, and I was a project manager in New York City for landmark restoration. But moving to Michigan gave me time to leave the corporate rat race and explore some passions, whether it be creating community groups on Meetup.com, doing some consulting and sales for small businesses, or even working at Chemical Bank for a little while. I even did some writing and art while decorating and gardening at our first home (some would call it nesting). What I didn’t know, was that our world was about to be turned upside down.

AN UNEXPECTED TURN During our relocation, Christian had horrific pain and nausea that lasted for over a year. We soon discovered he had dual duct cysts in the head of his pancreas, possibly causing the pain. After a lot of advice and second and third opinions, we went to Johns Hopkins in Baltimore to have a consult for a Whipple surgery. A Whipple is a serious operation, usually reserved for people with chronic pancreatitis and pancreatic cancers. It has a lot of deadly risks, including infection and bleeding, and only about 20 percent of cancer patients are considered eligible for it. Despite the risks, Christian decided to have the procedure because he had all the red flags for pancreatic cancer. The doctors weren’t sure he had cancer or when it might develop, but if it did, it would be deadly and fast moving. The Whipple was an extreme preventive operation that would not only alleviate some of his symptoms, but prevent the risk of cancer in the future.

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The Unexpected Caregiver BY PHOEBE HOPPS

THE WORST-CASE SCENARIO The surgery was successful, and all of the biopsies tested negative for cancer. But Christian suffered the gamut of post-op issues. He was septic. His pancreas leaked, and the fluid ate through his arteries which caused near-death bleeding. He even slipped into a coma. There were many times during the worst of Christian’s complications that I thought I’d be returning to our home alone. I imagined walking up the steps of our new home with our belongings, alone, and wondered how I was going to be able to continue. When Christian crashed the third time at Johns Hopkins, he was sent back to ICU at 2 a.m. All of a sudden, surgeons arrived and told me what needed to be done. Someone from legal followed me (with big binders!) to get my signature for permission to do whatever it took to save him. I had no one to help me read it all and just had to put my trust in Johns Hopkins. I often felt alone and hopeless. It didn’t take long to discover that caregivers do not always get the acknowledgement and support they need.

THE CHALLENGES OF CAREGIVING What really helped me was finding caregiver support groups online. Many of the partners and family members on the support pages for Whipple patient caregivers knew those late-, middle-of-the-night calls might come, and they were there for me as much as possible. They had been through it. They reminded me to drink water—even eat—and to take care of

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Grand Traverse Woman

myself during the long process. Self-care is something many caregivers don’t realize they need to prioritize. Throughout Christian’s recovery, family and friends wanted to check in. Setting up a CaringBridge account was one of the best things I did. I could report daily on happenings and not have to share via a hundred texts and emails. Every one of our family and friends could just check the site to get a solid, straightforward update.

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RECOVERY Fortunately, Christian is strong, and his medical team was phenomenal. There were weeks of diagnostic testing, recovery, infections, leakages from the healing process, and getting pain under control. But Christian recovered. After three months, he was released from Johns Hopkins. We returned to Michigan, me helping Christian up the steps with a cane. My number-one priority was taking care of him and getting some weight back on him. He’d gone from 185 pounds to about 123 pounds in a few months, and was sickly looking, but with a big grin under the wildly long beard he’d grown. He spent the first few months working to gain some weight and attending rehabilitation to gain strength. Learning what to eat took some time. He needed to be careful with spicy (a.k.a. tasty) foods that he normally loved, but he eventually gained confidence and could enjoy them. Alcohol was not recommended post-Whipple, but fortunately it was never a big part of our lives. Nausea was still an issue, but Christian was able to take Zofran to help. We don’t know why he still suffered bouts of nausea, but it was a small price to pay after what he’d been through.

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LESSONS LEARNED When you find yourself as a caregiver, be a passionate but firm advocate, but also be tough when you have to be. If your loved one is in pain and no one is helping, demand the chief doctor on staff, the pain department, or a different nurse. Write everything down and get the names of everyone who comes into your room in a log book (it might come in handy to thank them one day). Be sure to take care of yourself above all. In airplanes, they always tell you to put your mask on first before helping others. Taking care of yourself is the most powerful thing you can do, so that you may be able to help others in need. I learned a lot about myself as I helped Christian heal. I was amazed at how patient I could be when it really counted. I also learned how important it is to take baby steps.

TODAY It’s been more than a year since Christian’s Whipple, and we just got back from an exciting trip to Southeast Asia. We ate amazing, exotic foods, swam, hiked and snorkeled our hearts out. And Christian barely had any nausea or pain. It’s been a long, difficult process, but we’re doing it together. Phoebe Hopps is a native New Yorker but she has called Michigan home for the past five years. She lives in Kewadin, on Grand Traverse Bay, with her husband, and has a passion for travel.. In November 2016, she traded a career in project management and global travel to dedicate herself full-time to community organizing. She serves on many committees throughout Michigan, and is a board member of Woman 2 Woman TC and president of Women’s March Michigan. She can be reached at phoebe.hopps@gmail.com or Womensmarchmichigan.org. She would like to give special thanks to her Northern Michigan friends and neighbors who were always there for her during this challenging time. She said, “Christian and I are so very lucky to be in a community of such loving and caring people.”

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Grand Traverse Woman

DECIDING TO BE INTENTIONAL

How one family stopped working 24/7 and built a new life BY LAUREN PETZ

“WE ARE NEVER MOVING AGAIN.” That was my mantra during the spring of 2011. I was pregnant with our first child, and we had just moved into a 1930s bungalow in Sterling Heights. A legitimate, real-life fixer-upper, it was our third home in the three years that my husband Casey and I had been married, and I was so in love with the place that I couldn’t imagine living anywhere else. Things were good. Casey and I both worked decent jobs in education while running a small business on the side. We had a lovely home in an area we had lived in all of our lives, and most of our family and friends lived within a 20-minute drive. On the surface things looked great, but deep down we knew something wasn’t right. We ended most of our days exhausted and overwhelmed. Our business required many hours outside of our fulltime jobs, but it couldn’t sustain us financially on its own. Then Casey’s father passed away and left him a second business to run on top of dealing with his loss. We were already in crisis when my parents decided to separate, creating even more emotional turmoil. Casey and I struggled to find the time and energy to spend together as a family. After our second child was born in 2015, the pressure to do something different increased each day. We decided to start planning for the future that we wanted, not the future we seemed destined for.

Two years ago, Casey and I sat down and identified our shared values, and we found that they were not being reflected in what we did each day. We spent too much time working on things that didn’t speak to our hearts and not enough time focused on each other and our kids. Working more and harder was not the answer. It was time to slow down and create the space we needed to be ourselves. To do so would require a location away from the hustle of Metro Detroit, and a drastically different “all in” approach. We wrote down short- and long-term goals to guide us toward living a life that reflected our values, then scheduled quarterly meetings to break down the steps needed in order to meet those goals. We committed to making every major family decision with those values and goals in mind. We decided to move our young family to Northern Michigan and significantly downsize the amount of stuff we had. Having visited Leelanau County in the past, we found a piece of land that fit all of our needs: enough room to roam with close proximity to beaches and trails, quaint Suttons Bay nearby, and a community of people that valued connection to each other and the outdoors as much as we did. I left my teaching job to pursue a career in real estate, and Casey committed to running only one business that he could operate from a home office. Family and friends were shocked by our decision. Many people told us that it was going to be a difficult transition, and they were right.

UNINTENTIONAL LESSONS We sold our bungalow more quickly than we expected. That meant living a few months in temporary places before we could head north, then 14 months in an apartment while waiting for our home in Suttons Bay to be finished. Living in places that felt nothing like home taught us a lot.

Lesson 1: Meeting friends. The discomfort we experienced living out of suitcases and in an apartment with little open space forced us to forge new relationships and focus on our family. Being a few hundred miles from close family and friends made us more intentional about how we spent time with them when we could.

LAUREN WITH FINN, WHILE NOLEN PLAYS IN THE SNOW.

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Grand Traverse Woman

Having so few relationships in Leelanau County provided the opportunity to create a new community around us. The challenge was intimidating, but we found that by going out and doing the things we enjoyed, the right people showed up in our lives. We met one family at a concert in the vineyard at Big Little Wines and another while hiking at the DeYoung natural area. We now spend much of our free time with two families who share similar interests with us. The process has forever changed how our family spends time together. We are much friendlier and conversational with strangers. We give the kids a chance to lead the way and meet new friends while we are out exploring. And we shut our electronic devices down so we can focus on being present in the moment (simple, I know, but not something you do in Metro-Detroit).

Lesson 2: Playing outdoors. Living in a cramped apartment with little to no privacy also encouraged us to get outside and explore, regardless of the season. We dove headfirst into all that Northern Michigan life has to offer, and we hit every trail, beach and lake we could get our toes on. Our family developed a deep connection with

and understanding of nature that otherwise would not have existed. We bought books to help us identify the plants, animals and tracks we found, and spent countless evenings during the summer grabbing a bite to eat at Cedar Sol Taco Stand before setting off to Good Harbor Beach to cheer on the sun as it set into Lake Michigan.

Lesson 3: Less stuff, more time. Living with less taught us how much stuff we owned that we simply had no use for. Things that were in storage for 14 months turned out to be less necessary than we had thought. It’s amazing how little you actually need to be happy! We made more time for the things and people that matter, and were able to spend less time taking care of things that don't. What nobody (including us) could see at the time was that our uncomfortable living situation strengthened our resolve to achieve our goals. As the saying goes, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.

WORTH IT Taking the time to nail down what our values and goals were, and putting a plan in motion to make them a priority, changed our lives. I'm so thankful we worked through the uncertainty, did the hard things wholeheartedly, and took the leap when we did. There is never a great time to make changes that you know are necessary, and there are plenty of challenges and discomforts on the journey, but those won’t stop you if you are determined. I recently finished a book by Brene Brown that spoke to me and to the journey that my family has embarked on. Brown says that “true belonging doesn’t require us to change who we are; it requires us to be who we are.” At the end of the day, that is what my family has aimed for: a place where we belong. One that allows us to really be who we are. Now that we’ve found it, I can truly say, “We are never moving again.”

Lauren Petz lives in Suttons Bay with her husband, Casey, and kids, Nolen and Finn. She is a Realtor with Century 21 Northland, a work-in-progress, and has recently converted to being a lover of the outdoors (except camping—you have to draw a line somewhere). Reach out to her at lauren.petz@gmail.com, or follow her on Instagram @LaurenPetzC21.

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Grand Traverse

WOMAN IN BUSINESS

NEW McNish Agency, a Traverse City-based risk management and independent insurance agency, has named Jenny Craig as Northern Michigan marketing and business development director. Craig is from Northern Michigan and has nine years of experience in insurance. She also holds the insurance designations of API, AINS and is licensed to sell personal lines insurance in all 50 states. She holds a BAS in Business and is currently pursuing her MBA in Marketing. Craig is actively involved in Traverse City Area Public Schools and is the 2018/2019 vice-president of marketing for the Traverse Area Community Sailing program. 231.342.0412, Jcraig@mcnish.com

9&10 News anchors, Michelle Dunaway and Charlie Tinker will co-host “the four,” an hour-long lifestyle show premiering Jan. 8 at 4 p.m. (Ellen DeGeneres moves to 3 p.m. and Let’s Make a Deal moves to 10 a.m.) The new show, “the four,” will include local features, hot topics and community events as Michelle and Charlie offer shows all over the region. There will be a regular cooking segment and fitness segment, plus weather forecasts and tips on how to organize, prioritize and focus on the things that matter most to you! The show will also feature regular guests, including Kandace Chapple and Kerry Winkler of Grand Traverse Woman Magazine each month. The “four” topics covered will be family,

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features, fitness and fun. If you would like to be featured on a segment, email thefour@9and10news.com. Tim and Kathy Hyland have opened a new store just blocks from their previous location to accommodate their growing Bay View Flooring and Cash ‘n Carry Flooring businesses. The fullservice Bay View Flooring and doit-yourself Cash ’n Carry Flooring combined under one roof results in one of the largest retail flooring showrooms in Northern Michigan. The new showroom is located on U.S. 31 North, just north of Chums Corner, a quarter mile south of their previous location. 231.947.6900, w w w. b a y v i e w f l o o r i n g . c o m , www.cashncarryflooring.com

Grand Traverse Woman including Sue Fogo, service manager. This acquisition will give Syscom Business Technologies a stronger focus in managed I.T. and voice services, while giving Northwoods Office Express a stronger presence in the Managed Print Services business throughout Northern Michigan. This will further strengthen Northwoods’ mission to be a local one-stop office express provider for all office supply, business printing, toner cartridge and printer needs. 231.929.3549, service@northwoodsprinters.com

Local interior designer, Paige Fuller, recently launched her independently owned business, Paige Lee Interiors, LLC. She was born and raised in Northern Michigan and her style exemplifies the “Up North” lifestyle. She has been recognized with two prestigious awards: the National Kitchen and Bath Association’s 30 under 30 and the Traverse City Business News 40 under 40. 231.350.6167, w w w. P a i g e L e e I n t e r i o r s . c o m , paige@paigeleeinteriors.com.

West Shore Bank has staffed its new Mortgage Loan and Wealth Management Office in Traverse City with a seasoned mortgage team that has more than a combined 135 years of residential lending experience, mostly in the Grand Traverse area. Located at 627 W. Front St., West Shore Bank has named the following longtime local mortgage professionals to represent its community banking philosophy in the Traverse City and surrounding area: Linda Waisanen (top pic), vice president, mortgage loan originator; Deborah Highway (middle pic), mortgage loan officer; Karie Lambert (bottom pic), mortgage loan officer; Holly Fouch, mortgage loan processor/underwriter; Kelly Glazier, mortgage loan processor; and Pamela Sherred, mortgage loan processor. West Shore Bank is an independent community bank with seven branch locations along Michigan’s west shore. 231.845.3500, rbiggs@westshorebank.com

Northwoods Office Express, owned by Rebecca Yodzio, has acquired a portion of the assets of Syscom Business Technologies, including Syscom’s managed print sales and service as well as the printer, copier and typewriter sales and repair portion of Syscom’s business. The name will change for printer and copier needs but the same team will be in place for customer service

Maria de'Leon joins Northland Property Management as an additional property manager. She worked for ten years in the Grand Rapids and Lakeshore area leasing single family homes, condos, town homes, and apartments for a successful property management company

before coming to Traverse City. Her experience includes relocation, corporate housing and temporary housing for insurance claims. 241 E. State St., Traverse City. 231.929.7900 ext. 259 Living Light Massage welcomes licensed massage therapist Allison Chmielarczyk. She completed her training at the SpaTech Institute and has been practicing massage therapy for the past four years. She specializes in deep tissue/therapeutic, relaxation, sports and prenatal massage. 134 W. State St., downtown Traverse City. 231.995.9697, www.livinglightmassage.com Stacey L. Siminski LMSW has joined Lakeview Counseling. She has experience working with clients of all backgrounds, in all stages of life, from childhood issues through adulthood. She has assisted individuals experiencing emotional and behavioral impairments, including depression, anxiety, grief and loss, mood disorders as well as those struggling to adjust to life’s hurdles and transitioning into new beginnings. 1844 Oak Hollow Dr., Ste. B, Traverse City. 231.929.0300 ext. 107, stacey@lakeviewtc.com B.J. Rice and her husband, Dr. Derek J. Rice, have purchased Copper Ridge Dental. Dr. Rice attended Traverse City West Senior High School, graduating in 2001. He graduated from the University of Tennessee College of Dentistry in 2010. 4020 Copper Ridge Dr., Building A, Suite 200, Traverse City. 231.946.2497, www.copperridgedental.com TBA Credit Union has announced new positions for three of its team members. Former senior member service representative Shelby Huber is transitioning to a loan processor. Brittany Roberts will be transitioning to a new role as a service center representative. Roberts

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Grand Traverse Woman will be responsible for providing service in TBACU’s Service Center. Jasmine Birgy has transitioned from her previous role as a loan processor to a marketing assistant. In her new role, Birgy will be supporting the student-run credit union program and promoting credit union products and services. 231.946.7090, www.tbacu.com

an empowering book that blends inspiration and relaxation with space to process emotion, share ideas and create goals. "The beauty of coloring and journaling is that each allows us to unplug from all of the noise around us and center on one activity," Hains said. Encouragements is the eighth release of Denali & Co., a specialty publishing house launched by Hains in 1998. The meditative coloring journal is available in Traverse City at Horizon Books, online at www.denaliandcompany.com and downstate at all Schuler’s Books and Music stores. 231.883.4482, kristen@denaliandcompany.com

Arts for All of Northern Michigan (A4A) has moved to its new location at 1222 Veterans Dr., Traverse City. Grace Hudson, executive director, said Arts for All NMI is devoted to sharing art in all its forms with individuals of all abilities. Projects include Art Escape workshops in area schools; Kids on the Block puppet programs that teach children about disability awareness; accessible community art projects; social dances for teens and young adults; guest artist series in classrooms; and ACCESS: monthly outings to area art and cultural venues for young adults. 947.1278, grace@artsforallnmi.org, www.artsforallnmi.org

Marie Redding has joined the staff at Kitchen Choreography as showroom coordinator. Her duties include client relations and design. Before moving to Traverse City in 2016, Redding was the manager of a recreation center in Chicago for seven years. She graduated from Purdue University where she studied psychology, law and society, and organizational leadership and supervision. 420 S. Division St., Traverse City. kitchenchoreography. net, 231.932.9700

Mercedes Davidson has joined Century 21 Northland. Davidson has experience in sales, management and agriculture. M e rc e d e s @ C 2 1 n o r t h l a n d . c o m , 231.668.2824

KUDOS

Michigan publisher Kristen Hains has announced the release of Encouragements: A Meditative Coloring Journal. This book is for people facing mental or physical health challenges as well as anyone striving to increase confidence and build pathways to success. Growing up as a dancer, the Traverse City native struggled with an eating disorder for more than a decade. Hains’ intimate understanding of this illness guided her to create

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Chantal CEO, MarieChantal Dalese, has earned the Certified Sommelier designation from The Court of Master Sommeliers. Driven by a desire to understand more about the wider world of wine and service, Dalese said she is excited to bring what she’s learned to Chateau Chantal: “The process to become a Certified Sommelier required extensive study of the world’s wine regions, their grapes, climates, soil conditions and taste profile. Partnered with the skills of tableside wine service, the experience was a challenge.” The Court of Master Sommeliers was established to encourage improved standards of beverage knowledge and service in hotels and restaurants. Chateau Chantal, 15900 Rue de Vin, Chateau

Grand Traverse

WOMAN

Mar/April 2018

Career Issue is Coming Soon!

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We have an exclusive offer for our CAREER issue only: We are offering #WomenAtWork Profiles! Includes text, headshot, full color logo and the opportunity to showcase your career! Perk: Profiles will be shared on our GTW Facebook page. We have over 4k followers!

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ishers and Entrepreneurs

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s and publishers of Grand Traverse Hello! We are Kerry and Kandy, twin sister n’s publication for 14 years. wome our Woman Magazine. We’ve been doing stories and new women to meet and get new brings one Each issue! an up Pick join us at our monthly events as we to know in your community. You can also network and build their businesses to men!) bring together area women (and and friendships. #WomenAtWork

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This is an ideal opportunity to share your vision and goals with the GTWoman community. Spotlight those team members who are making a difference in your organization. Women are drawn to the personal aspect of your business as much as your service and product. Open up the door and let them have a peek inside of what makes your business tick!

Email kerry@grandtraversewoman.com Pricing starts at $299 Call or Text 231.276.5105 www.grandtraversewoman.com Jan/Feb '18 41


Grand Traverse Woman Traverse City. 231.223.4110 ext. 140, www.chateauchantal.com Elaine C. Wood, a community champion who has moved the economic and social impact needle in critical areas including education, workforce development, housing and other sectors will receive the Traverse City Area Chamber of Commerce 2017 Distinguished Service Award. Her career at Networks Northwest has spanned more than four decades. She will be honored with at the Chamber’s DSA Luncheon on Jan. 24. Wood is recognized across Michigan and beyond for her work in forging effective public/private partnerships to tackle critical issues and initiatives across the region, while her personal commitments have helped drive several community institutions to new heights including Northwestern Michigan College, Rotary Charities and Munson Healthcare. www.tcchamber.org

Do you have Tech Neck from looking at screens? Common Symptoms: • Neck Pain • Headaches • Migraines • Fatigue • Pain and tingling in the arm • Decreased energy • Fibromyalgia • Insomnia Visit your chiropractor to keep your neck in alignment. You will thank us all your life!

Holly Donaldson, D.C. www.traversecitychiropractic.com

231-929-1335

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Grand Traverse Woman

EVENTS

Network Nite Wednesday, Jan. 10 5-7 p.m.

HAPPY WINTER! Join GTWoman for Network Nite on Wednesday, Jan. 10 at Incredible Mo’s from 5-7pm. Wear a fun WINTER HAT to the event if you’d like. We expect to see snowmen, reindeer and snowflakes atop your heads! GTWoman events are focused on easy, fun connections made in a low-key atmosphere. Cue laughs, drinks and genuine relationships! We will have food and drinks by Sauce—enjoy their pizza and sit down for a real meal together at Incredible Mo’s. BEST HAT wins free tickets to a GTW event. YOUR 15 Seconds of Fame: We accept 10 women to take a moment at the mic to introduce themselves and give away a prize related to their business. Put a name to your face with local women. If you’d like to donate a prize for the evening, email Kandace@ grandtraversewoman.com. Thank you to our GTW Network Nite Sponsors for the 2017-2018 season: Corporate Sponsor Munson Medical Center and Supporting Sponsors Bayview Flooring & Design Center, Michigan College Planning, Precision Plumbing and Heating, 106KHQ and TV 9&10 News. Incredible Mo’s is located at 1355 Silver Lake Crossings Blvd., Grawn. Tickets are $15 or 2/$20. Save $5 with the code GTWLOVE at www.grandtraversewoman.com.

GTWoman’s Chicago Trip Nov. 9-11, 2018 We are now taking deposits for our Chicago 2018 trip! We have 2 buses already full and are filling the 3rd bus as of print time. The trip is Nov. 9-11, 2018, and we will be staying at the Courtyard Chicago Downtown Magnificent Mile (same hotel as 2016 and 2017). The trip includes 2 nights lodging in downtown Chicago, motorcoach transportation, 1 show ticket, wine,

prizes, games and more. (We are waiting for 2018 shows to be announced.) Cost: Quad: $395 each; Triple: $449 each; Double: $495 each. Put down a $100 deposit to hold a seat and join us for a wonderful trip with friends, moms, sisters and daughters! Thank you to our sponsors: 9&10 News, EmbroidMe, Owens Water, Chateau Chantal and L.Mawby. Register at www.grandtraversewoman.com and join us for a weekend to remember! Please gather your group and jump online or email Kandace@ grandtraversewoman.com to join us!

GTWoman Luncheon Wednesday, Feb. 14 11a.m.-1p.m., Hagerty Center “Fall in LOVE with Creativity!” Speaker Jennifer Lake, Brand Tonic

Meet Jennifer Lake—a creative designer with a lot of energy and loads of ideas to share. As a creative professional, she helps motivate teams through brainstorming exercises and works with clients to tell their stories in fresh, original ways. She's an idea generator and she'll teach you how to become one too. Everyone is capable of being creative, (baby, we were born this way!) but sometimes we just need to free our minds to think differently. In this engaging talk, Jennifer will show you how to strengthen your creative muscles with simple brain exercises. You'll spend lunch crafting ideas and leave with brainstorming tips to take back to your team. By the end, you'll be feeling connected to that creative being you thought you left behind in 3rd grade. For example, learn how to harness the benefits of creativity in your daily life, inject creativity into “the

same old” date night, and invent new games and activities with your kids. As the founder of Brand Tonic, a creative branding and design studio in Traverse City, Jennifer has a passion for ideas, color and community. She works with many businesses and non-profits across the state creating logos, brand messaging, websites, advertising and more with her amazing team of creatives. Visit http://brand-tonic.com for more on Jennifer’s business. Outside of work, you might find Jennifer singing on stage or emceeing a local, community event. And if you attend the GTWoman Road Trip to Chicago in the fall, you might just witness her collection of wigs and costumes as co-host on Bus 2. (She's not afraid to have some fun!) Join us Wednesday, Feb. 14th on Valentine’s Day for a luncheon you’ll love. The luncheon is 11 a.m. to 1 p.m. at the Hagerty Center in Traverse City. Thank you to our series Corporate Sponsors GTOC and Chemical Bank. Also a thank you to our supporting sponsors Lite 96, Northwood Animal Hospital, Sarah Brown Photography, McNish Group, Michigan College Planning, TV 9&10 and SCORE. Lunch tickets are $35 or 2 for $60. You can also sign up to be a vendor and join over 25 vendors at each luncheon! Booths are $185 and include 2 luncheon tickets. Register for the event at www.grandtraversewoman.com.

GTWoman’s “Guys vs. Girls” Feb. 4 Father Fred Food Drive The Guys vs. Girls Challenge is back for the Father Fred Frostbite Food Drive! Come on ladies, we need you (and your guys) to show up at Team Bob’s on Super Bowl Sunday Feb. 4 to donate canned goods. Last year the girls won by a can or two—and together we collected 15 boxes and $500. All we ask is that you donate 1 more can toward the gals’ pile when you arrive, LOL! For more information on collection points, visit www.fatherfred.org.

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Grand Traverse Woman

Where Luxury Photography Meets Up North Elegance

Located in the beautiful Grand Traverse Commons Weddings. Portraits. Families. Events. Corporate.

northernartphotography.com 231.943.1616 www.grandtraversewoman.com

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Grand Traverse Woman BY KANDACE CHAPPLE WWW.KANDACECHAPPLE.COM

THE MAGICAL

MY HUSBAND TIM spent an unseasonably warm October hunting, scouting, stalking and, ultimately, not seeing many deer. The final verdict: The deer weren’t moving. So, one morning, on a whim, I left a little sticky note for him on the mirror. I wrote, “Get a big buck!” Simple. To the point. And magical, as it turned out. I was in carline to pick up Nelson from a half-day of school when my phone buzzed. “I just shot a big one!” I felt a little zing: the note. I called him. It was a 7-point. It was a clean shot and the deer hadn’t gone far, maybe 100 yards. He wanted me to bring the boys to track with him. We were to get over to hunting camp, pronto. As I rounded up the boys from school, and I greeted them the only way I could. With a “long, long, short!”—the traditional horn blasts sounded when the successful hunter got back to his truck and signaled the others to come track a deer. So, there it was. A perfectly timed half-day of school and me with just enough hats and mittens strewn in the back of the car to keep us all alive and warm. We didn’t even bother to go home first. We went straight to hunting camp and arrived to a chorus of hunters saying: It was the note!

note

We all piled into two pickup trucks and headed into the woods to begin tracking. The blood trail was strong, and within minutes, Tim called out “Tally Ho!” when the deer was spotted. It was a quiet moment. It always is. So we can make sure the deer is actually dead and not going to spring up and run between me and my mother-in-law like that one year. They then began the business of gutting the deer. Tim had puked while helping his dad the first time many years ago, and bets were made on which of our boys would be the first to follow in their father’s footsteps. This time, no one puked. It was a great addition to the hunting skills they’ve already garnered. While our boys don’t hunt on their own yet, they have learned to scout deer, to stalk, to sit, to listen, to see. They’ve begun to understand how nature works. They’ve seen where food comes from, and what it means to harvest an animal, to do more than buy it from a grocery store. The older they get, the more I love seeing how they walk through the woods, how they react to the wildlife. There’s a respect for both the land and the animals that can only be learned by being out there in it. I, too, learned from my father. One of the first times he ever took me hunting, I remember watching a doe walk into the clearing by his stand, a low-lying camouflage wall of sticks and ferns we’d built together.

My father looked at me and waited, his bow in his lap. I shook my head, no! He breathed, Oh, honey, but he let the deer pass. He told the story to my mother at dinner, and she wasn’t surprised. He had yet to make a man out of his daughter. The next season, though, my father shot a buck when I was with him during rifle season. We tracked it, gutted it and dragged it to the house to hang in the pole barn. He made me help him skin it and butcher it, a harrowing chore I will never forget. Now, years later, I know why he made me do it (besides saving $ on having it processed, that is). As we’d approached the house from across the field that day, my mother’s car was pulling out of the driveway. My father waved at her, pointing to his prized buck dragging behind the four-wheeler. My mother honked and waved. Dad waved back. So happy! She took a right and headed to the mall. This caused a years-long debate in the family: Had she not seen the deer (her story) or was she blind (his story)? Another time, I sat with Tim bowhunting in the woods on my grandparents’ farm in the UP. At dawn, we had four does come in and walk all around us, their thin legs puncturing the snowpack on the ground. They were close enough to touch. Tim did not shoot; we did not move. We left that weekend without a deer, but we’d gotten what we’d come for in a different way. And it’s experiences like this, each time, that have changed me. In all my time in the woods, I’ve seen the beauty of nature, the ferocity, too. I am happy to know that this tradition is being carried on. Because our boys left the woods that day changed too. And when we were all home for the night, Tim gave us the full story on how the hunt unfolded. We decided it still came down to my magical note. Regardless of Tim’s countless hours of scouting and years of hunting, I was sure of it. And so were his buddies. I spent the next day fielding requests to write them all magical notes too!

Kandace Chapple is the editor and co-publisher of Grand Traverse Woman. She loves books, biking and family. When her family isn’t calling, she’s outside on skis or snowshoes in gorgeous snow-covered Northern Michigan. You can reach Kandace at kandace@grandtraversewoman.com. Read her blog at www.kandacechapple.com.

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NORTHERN ART PHOTOGRAPHY

NELSON, LEFT, AND KENDALL

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Grand Traverse Woman

trouble (in the)1412 hood 1612 momma

BY KERRY WINKLER

OUR VISIT TO

Amish Country IT BEGAN

when I got a call from the library: “Your holds are in. Please come pick them up.” Turns out they were a bunch of books about homesteading. And that’s how I learned of Max’s latest interest. That boy has kept us all hopping with his interests ranging from the ocean to Chinese culture to religion and politics. And now he was interested in agriculture and homesteading. (I think I’ve learned more from him than he from me, haha.) So Max began reading and studying up on what it takes to be a farmer. His Grandpa Barry was raised on a farm in the U.P., but despite many of his grandpa’s dire stories of milking cows at the crack of dawn, Max seemed only more intrigued. Max studied up on Amish culture and this led to a trip to Clare County, where one of the biggest Amish settlements are in Michigan. We found a self-guided tour on the Clare County website to visit Amish-owned stores. We got out our GPS maps and headed into the country, delighted to see the horse-and-buggy “Yield” signs almost immediately. First stop: An Amish bakery. I followed the map, but it ended at a house. What? That couldn’t be right. But there it was tucked inside the back door of their home with a “Welcome” sign. As we swung open the door, I was still unsure. What if we walked into them eating breakfast?? But there was a quiet and pleasant woman at a counter. The baked goods were delicious smelling and we picked out bread, pie, cinnamon rolls and jam. Inside, we saw family members moving about doing their morning chores, our first glimpse into their day. Next stop: An Amish general goods store. The directions took us down about two long miles of muddy roads and we found it. It was a more typical place with a few parking spots for cars, so I was sure no one would be eating at a breakfast table when we walked in.

We noticed for the first time that they had more room for buggy parking than cars. There was a long hitching post for the horses with buggies. We saw many traditional buggies and one buggy with car seats. (No, I don’t think they were heated.) They were hauling handmade dressers, loading sacks of feed and more. The ladies were in long skirts, men in brimmed hats and the children, not in school but tagging along to do the chores. We entered the store and there Max found a traditional Amish hat—I wondered: can you buy it if you are not Amish? So I sent Max to pay for it by himself, while I awaited the results a few aisles over. Two results: Yes, you can. And yes, Max, your mother is a wimp. Then we drove along the muddy roads (after I made Max promise to wash the car or else) and observed the lifestyle choices. There were no cars parked anywhere, no paved roads, lots of bikes, clotheslines, horses and gardens. There were farmers using horse-drawn plows. We saw one-horse teams and we saw an impressive sixhorse team! There were lines and lines of clothes hanging out, hung high from trees with a pulley system down to the ground. I saw a lot of hard work; Max saw simplicity and dedication. Then we came upon a scene I called “Life without iPhones.” There, in a field, were dozens of kids playing ball. That’s it. Just ball. They were in a circle tossing around a plain old dull, red ball. Laughing, running, shouting and there were all ages from shorties to tall ones. And it was the middle of the day, no mad race to do homework or be on social media during lunch hour. Next, we stopped at an Amish furniture store – this one, too, was simply a garage next to a house but I was getting more used to it. The scene inside was breathtaking with all the beautiful furniture. We visited with the shopkeeper—asking about how the crazy lights worked (propane

lighting fixtures) and things like how they made the furniture without electricity. Max soaked it all in. After that we started to make our way home, driving out past a wooded area. We passed a man all in camo, with a big beard and dark, brimmed hat, balancing a hunting bow across the handles of his bike. It was not a fancy bike, it was simple and he was working hard to get down the road. And that man was smiling from ear to ear, happy on his muddy, rutted bike ride home after his morning of hunting. It was the perfect ending to our day—a snapshot of working hard and playing hard, and we loved it.

www.grandtraversewoman.com

NORTHERN ART PHOTOGRAPHY

Kerry Winkler is the account director and co-publisher of Grand Traverse Woman Magazine. She lives with her 2 teenage kids in Interlochen and one has recently hit the roads with his license so she's getting grayer by the day. She loves being active outdoors and also teaches fitness classes locally at Fit For You Gym. She can be reached at kerry@grandtraversewoman.com.

Jan/Feb '18 45


Grand Traverse Woman

Grand Traverse WOMAN

Network Night GTWoman’s Network Nite

on Nov. 8 at Berkshire Hathaway was amazing! The views from their offices overlooking West Bay were incredible… and the friends and food inside were just as lovely! We heard from Mary L. Schubert, executive director of Women’s and Children’s Services for Munson, who shared details on the new Family Birth and Children’s Center. Mary talked about several women’s topics—serious issues (mammograms!) to fun issues (babies!), and Mary made them equally entertaining, much to our delight.

GTWoman’s Network Nite Jan. 10th

Join GTWoman on Wednesday, Jan. 10 for Network Nite at Incredible Mo’s from 5-7 p.m. Wear a fun winter hat to the event if you’d like. We expect to see snowmen, reindeer and snowflakes atop your heads! GTWoman events are focused on easy, fun connections made in a low-key atmosphere. Register at www.grandtraversewoman.com. Use coupon code GTWLOVE to save $5 off your ticket!

Chicago

Road Trip

GTWoman’s Chicago Trip 2017

Well, they talked us into 4 buses! We took 212 women to Chicago Nov. 10-12 and it was a whirlwind delight! We saw the Broadway musical “Escape To Margaritaville,” featuring both original songs and most-loved Jimmy Buffett classics. We spent 2 nights in downtown Chicago, and had a party on the motorcoach there and back. It was a trip to remember!

Chicago Trip 2018 is up next!

We are now taking deposits for our Chicago 2018 trip. We have 2 buses already full and are filling the 3rd bus as of print time. The trip is Nov. 9-11, 2018, and we will be staying at the Courtyard Chicago Downtown Magnificent Mile (same hotel as 2016 and 2017). The trip includes 2 nights lodging in downtown Chicago, motorcoach transportation, 1 show ticket, wine, prizes, games and more. (We are waiting for 2018 shows to be announced.) Cost: Quad: $395 each; Triple: $449 each; Double: $495 each. Put down a $100 deposit to hold a seat and join us for a wonderful trip with friends, moms, sisters and daughters! Put down your deposit at www.grandtraversewoman.com. Party time!

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Jan/Feb '18

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Grand Traverse Woman

Because of the generous hearts in our community we are able to provide our neighbors in need with essential resources. We are so grateful for your support.

ion

Fa

dat

Team Bob’s (S. Airport and Park St.) & Fox Motors

ther

un

TWO DONATION SITES

OOD DRIV F E

E

January 27- February 4

FROSTBIT

Help Us Help Others

o F Fred

The Guys vs. Girls Challenge is back for the Frostbite Food Drive! Come on ladies, we need you (and your guys). Come out to Team Bob’s on Super Bowl Sunday to donate canned goods. Which Team will win this year?

Locally founded. Locally funded. Locally focused. www.grandtraversewoman.com

Jan/Feb '18 47


Grand Traverse Woman

The Enduring Beauty of Carpet by Karastan

Karastan’s 90th Anniversary Sale Since 1928 Karastan has been the industry leader in producing quality carpet for your home and office. In addition, Carpet Galleria is committed to maintaining the highest installation standards in the industry. We back that up with our Lifetime Installation Warranty.

Free Carpet Cushion Celebrate Karastan’s 90th Anniversary with real savings of 15% to 25% on every carpet, PLUS free premium carpet cushion with every purchase. This comfortable, durable memory foam pad with Spillguard technology will enhance your experience for years to come – free with purchase of any Karastan Carpet now through the end of February.

Appreciate the Choices Karastan’s designers use the most advanced power looms in the industry to create the widest range of patterns and textures— ready to enhance any interior decorating scheme.

90

ANNIVERSARY

Urban Appeal

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One year interest-free financing available with approved credit 48 Jan/Feb '18 1035 S. Garfield Avenue, Traverse City

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