Groove Guide 458

Gigs | Music | Arts | FILM | TV | Games | Gadgets | Food | BARS | FASHION

THE T y L l i B Es

E e n i no m

Beth Orton

SHIT WORTH DOING

FREE

MEET TENacious D

Tool

08 - 14 MAY 2013 . NZ’S LARGEST FREE WEEKLY STREET PRESS . ISSUE 458 . GROOVEGUIDE.CO.NZ

MORE FM PRESENTS

A THRILLING FUSION OF CIRQUE AND URBAN STREET PERFORMANCE th st LIMITED 30 AUG – 1 SEP ON SALE SEASON! BRUCE MASON CENTRE, AUCKLAND

MONDAY 13th MAY

www.brucemason.co.nz | www.ticketmaster.co.nz | ph 970 9700

MEET

SHIT WORTH DOING

Post your answers to these questions to go in the draw to pay tribute to Tenacious D in person.

Tis the destiny of TWO readers from Auckland, Wellington and Christchurch. Prize includes a double pass to the show plus meet and greet - transport AND accom not included.

POST TO: MY DESTINY C/O GROOVE GUIDE, PO BOX 6032 Wellesley St, Auckland 1141 True or False God Of Destiny Touch Of Destiny Pick Of Destiny Tenacious D love to Rock around the Clock Play around Rock the shit out of the joint Last Time Tenacious D played NZ WAS AT Hokitika Wild Foods Festival The Studio Coroglen Tavern Western Springs Jack Black thinks the greatest band of all time is The The The Who The Smiths

YOUR NAME:

Kyle Gass’ first major break was starring in Tenacious D in The Pick Of Destiny A 7-UP commercial Soft Porn What is “Tenacious D”?

A basketball term used by commentators to describe robust defensive positioning in basketball, but can be applicable in chess as well.

George Krinkle Tenacious D is what Jack & Kyles birth marks spell when lined up together All of the above In relation to Jack Black “Authentic & Original” is A contraceptive A Skin Care range What Tenacious D think of their original rock music.

YOUR Number:

In 1997 Tenacious D had a half hour sitcom based on the band.

It was entitled: Three’s company Tenacious D Jack & Jill What song was their most successful?

MMM bop F@%k Her Gently Unchained Melody Tribute

On their first NZ tour who opened for them in Christchurch?

Black Sabbath Shihad Two kids they found busking on the street

YOUR EMAIL & POSTAL ADdress:

IT Job Of The Week 14 sweet jobs for orion HealtH available now.

Develop market leaDing tecHnology on Huge scale. jobs@get-sourceD.co.nz (03) 420 2999 www.get-sourceD.co.nz cH ro c ck s!

+64 21 599 643

Park closer to entertainment.

Civic Parking Building 800 parks.

For more go to aucklandtransport.govt.nz/parking

Parking

Shit Worth Knowing

grooveguide.co.nz

NEWS CATCHING GRENADES

You can’t even mark this in you diaries yet, but the Hawaiian born musician that is Bruno Mars is returning to New Zealand for what is sure to be another sell out show at Auckland’s Vector Arena.

Grammy winning singer Miguel will join Bruno on his second trip to NZ. SEE HIM LIVE: BRUNO MARS SAT 15 MAR 2014 VECTOR ARENA, AUCKLAND TICKETS ON SALE: 9AM FRI 10 MAY TICKETMASTER.CO.NZ

Scan the QR code with your smartphone to go to Groove Guide’s mobile website for breaking news, reviews, interviews and more features.

We also do this cool social media stuff. @GrooveGuide facebook.com/grooveguide

NOT THAT EASY TO FORGET

Engelbert Humperdinck is back in New Zealand for a show at Vector Arena in June. His last show during 2006 sold out as he performed to a packed out Civic theatre. The concert will feature a virtual duet with Elton John and other songs from his upcoming Duets album (featuring tracks with Smokey Robinson, Willie Nelson, Charles Aznavour and Kenny Rogers).

SEE HIM LIVE: ENGELBERT HUMPERDINCK SAT 29 JUN VECTOR ARENA, AUCKLAND TICKETS ON SALE NOW TICKETMASTER.CO.NZ

Groove Guide is New Zealand’s leading weekly music and entertainment publication. 11,000 free copies are available every week at music stores, cafes, fast food outlets, nightclubs, bars, restaurants, cinemas and retail stores throughout New Zealand. If you would like to stock Groove Guide please contact jamie@ grooveguide.co.nz or call (09) 3664616.

EDITOR Grant Hislop editor@grooveguide.co.nz

Editorial Manager Tyler Hislop tyler@grooveguide.co.nz

SUB Editor Laura Weaser laura@grooveguide.co.nz

NEW ZEALAND’S GOT TALENT?

Chris Judd, an American choreographer and dancer (and the guy that had a very short stint as JLo’s hubby) has been announced as the second judge for New Zealand’s Got Talent and will be joining Op Shop’s Jason Kerrison in the three person judging panel. “I am beyond excited to be coming to New Zealand to be a judge on New Zealand’s Got Talent!” says Chris Judd. “In New Zealand I’m going to be looking for performers who can light up the stage and beyond!”

DROPPIN’ BEATS

Kiwi favourites Fat Freddy’s Drop are back with their third album Blackbird soon due for release. The album was written and recorded at Bays in Wellington, the bands own studio. The bands saxophonist Chopper Reeds says, “Blackbird is truer to FFD’s musical philosophy than anything else we’ve done. The song forms are unruly - just like our live shows - and we’ve really tried to craft arrangements that showcase Joe Dukie’s voice. It’s an unholy mix of disco, rootsy dub, blues, soul and electronic funk - but it’s what we love to do.” Fat Freddy’s Drop will be releasing Blackbird in East London to celebrate a decade of touring in Europe to an audience of 500 at Village Underground.

NEW ALBUM: BLACKBIRD OUT FRI 28 JUN PRE-ORDERS: FATFREDDYSDROP.COM

Chris has toured and danced with some of the worlds best, including on Michael Jackson’s Dangerous and HIStory tour. New Zealand’s Got Talent Kicks off in July.

Our pick

Designer Greta Gotlieb greta@grooveguide.co.nz Intern: Shirlee Xue

Distro Jamie Hislop jamie@grooveguide.co.nz

Advertising sales@grooveguide.co.nz

Accounts Gail Hislop gail@grooveguide.co.nz

GEAR Bronte Taylor gear@grooveguide.co.nz

Contributors James Manning, Steve Newall, Alan Bell, Tim Gruar, Sebastian Mackay

print Webstar | Blue Star Group Limited

Publisher Hark Entertainment LTD PO Box 6032 Wellesley Street, Auckland due to space and content requirements, not all gigs may be listed. listings are user generated. groove guide assumes no responsibility for any inaccuracies, errors or omissions. groove guide is provided ‘as is’, for your information only, without warranty of any kind, either expressed or implied, including, but not limited to, fitness for a particular purpose and non-infringment. the guide’s publisher assumes no responsibility for and disclaims all liability for any inaccuracies, errors or omissions in this guide and do not share the opinions expressed within. reproduction in whole or in part without permission is prohibited. copyright 2013

ISSN 1172-675X

KISS KISS, BANG BANG

Call of Duty: Ghosts has been announced for the transition period to next generation consoles. The new title promises a new engine from Infinity Ward and completely new story. Infinity Ward’s Mark Reuben commented, “Everyone was expecting us to make Modern Warfare 4, which would have been the safe thing to do. But we’re not resting on our laurels. We saw the console transition as the perfect opportunity to start a new chapter for Call of Duty.

So we’re building a new sub-brand, a new engine, and a lot of new ideas and experiences for our players.

We can’t wait to share them with our community.”

Avid fans of the franchise will be able to tune in for a first look at the title during Microsoft’s ‘Xbox – A New Generation Revealed’ at 5am on Wed 22 May. Call of Duty: Ghosts will be released Tue 05 Nov on Xbox 360, PlayStation 3 and PC.

SLAYing no more

Slayer guitarist and co-founder Jeff Hanneman has died of liver failure. He was 49. A statement released by the band said Hanneman died in hospital near his Southern California home. “Slayer is devastated to inform that their bandmate and brother, Jeff Hanneman, passed away at about 11AM this morning near his Southern California home. Hanneman was in an area hospital when he suffered liver failure. He is survived by his wife Kathy, his sister Kathy and his brothers Michael and Larry, and will be sorely missed.”

THE TIDE CAME BACK

The Veils will be returning to New Zealand after a four-year hiatus for a series of shows. The tour closely follows the release of their fourth studio album Time Stays, We Go, which is already receiving positive reviews globally. The Veils are psyched to be returning to NZ, “We’re all so excited to be able to finally head back home for this tour - I’m going to fashion a raft out of mince and cheese pies and grain waves and float into the middle of the Waitemata Harbour with a great big grin on my face.” – Finn Andrews SEE THEM LIVE: THE VEILS FRI 19 JUL SAMMY’S, DUNEDIN SAT 20 JUL DUX LIVE, CHRISTCHURCH FRI 26 JUL BODEGA, WELLINGTON SAT 27 JUL STUDIO, AUCKLAND TICKETS ON SALE NOW UNDERTHERADAR.CO.NZ

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Shit Worth Knowing

PLAYING FAVourites STEVE HUGHES COMEDIAN

RAINER HERSCH COMEDian Who’s in the dead supergroup for your dream hologram show?

Mozart on lead guitar (he didn’t play guitar but he’d probably pick it up in a couple of minutes); Bach on bass (ditto. Also, I quite like the idea of shouting that out at the end of the gig “And on bass…BACH!” – ’s got a ring to it); Chopin on keys (have to make sure he didn’t go all consumptive and die on you during the rehearsals. Do we need to rehearse by the way?); Stravinsky on drums (it’s gonna get fancy) and Ludwig van Beethoven on vocals (Brilliant. I can just imagine him doing question and answer shouting with the crowd: [LUDWIG] Give me a B! [CROWD] B! [LUDWIG] Give me an E!...E...T...H...O...V...E...N. Wassat spell? [CROWD] Beethoven! [LUDWIG] I can’t hear you [CROWD] BEETHOVEN! [LUDWIG] I can’t hear you [CROWD] BEETHOVEN! [LUDWIG] No, really, I can’t hear you…

Where can your stalkers find you during the weekend?

I’m usually in bushes, head to toe in camouflage gear with a pair of binoculars.

What happens when you mix Coca Cola with Pepsi?

It will cause a rip in the space-time continuum.

Annihilation. Nothing left except a broken-down, overgrown Statue of Liberty.

Your house is on fire, what do save?

I don’t have a house, but if I did: my girlfriend.

Favourite ‘90s TV show?

I didn’t watch TV in the 90’s & still don’t.

Dream job as a kid?

Dream job as a kid: Rock Star First album?

U2 October on vinyl: Meatloaf Bat Out Of Hell on cassette.

If you weren’t a comedian, what would you be?

An unemployed drummer… but I AM a comedian.

Ultimate festival line-up?

Me, Bill Burr, Bill Hicks, Richard Pryor, Woody Allen, The Number of the Beast Iron Maiden line –up.

Who would play you in a film?

Goldie Hawn, Hugh Hefner, Daniel Day Lewis???

How do you discover new comedians?

I don’t. It’s not my job Worst job you’ve had?

Any job I’ve ever had and there haven’t been many: One of the good things about my life is that I’ve managed to get through without ‘work’. I don’t have the emotional temperament for it.

The best TV show around at the moment is…

The Simpsons of course. I sometimes wonder how many Americans actually get it.

The best place for a date night is…

Mt Eden. Beautiful, quiet. Easy to dig a shallow grave without being disturbed.

You’d get arrested if the police knew that you… …have buried half a dozen dates on Mt Eden. I swear I didn’t even know it was illegal until number eight.

People say you look like…

Michael Schumacher, Leo Sayer and about 10 others – Basically, I’ve got a face that looks like other people’s faces. I used to come on stage and say ‘Good evening. My name is Rainer Hersch. Here’s the good news, only one more operation and I’ll be the

young George Cole’ and it worked every time.

Five Celebs on your F*cklist?

Rachel Weisz, Katherine Heigl, Audrey Tautou, Charlize Theron in Prometheus, Daniel Craig (I am not gay but would make an exception).

What generic current affair has your blood boiled?

Funeral of Margaret Thatcher. £10M down the drain. The only reason anyone turned out was to check she was actually dead.

SEE HIM PERFORM: RAINER HERSCH RAINER HERSCH’S VICTOR BORGE TUE 07 MAY - SAT 11 MAY COMEDY CHAMBER, AUCKLAND RAINER HERSCH MEETS AUCKLAND PHILHARMONIA ORCHESTRA SUN 12 MAY COMEDY CHAMBER, AUCKLAND

shit worth

winning Go to grooveguide.co.nz and enter the draw to win these prizes SECRET POLICEMAN’S BALL SUN 12 MAY COMEDY CHAMBER, TOWN HALL, AUCKLAND 2 X DOUBLE PASSES

Which joke do you wish you wrote?

There are a few of those… “Why did the chicken cross the road?”

Biggest fear?

A soulless totalitarian global police state.

Any vices?

Drugs, alcohol, perverted sex – same as everybody else!

SEE HIM PERFORM: STEVE HUGHES - BIG ISSUES WED 08 MAY - SAT 11 MAY LOFT AT Q, AUCKLAND MON 13 MAY - SAT 18 MAY SAN FRAN BATH HOUSE, WELLINGTON

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TENACIOUS D HEAD TO PAGE 3 TO FIND OUT HOW TO WIN A MEET & GREET WITH TENACIOUS D!

LE COMIQUE SUN 12 MAY SKYCITY THEATRE, AUCKLAND 1 X DOUBLE PASS

THE PHOENIX FOUNDATION 3 X COPIES OF FANDAGO

144 Parnell Rd, Parnell,

AUCKLAND

www.facebook.com/NZbattleofthebands

TXT “BATTLE” to 5405 for event updates

PRESENTS

(TXTs cost 50cents)

2013 National Championship

Doors open 8pm

Heat 5 Semi 1 Semi 2 Semi 3 Semi 4 R/Final NZ Final

THURS WED TUES WED WED SAT SAT

2 May 8 May 14 May 22 May 29 May 8 June 29 June

The Kings Arms AUCKLAND

59 France Street, Newton, Doors open 7:30pm

Heat 5 Semi 1 Semi 2 Semi 3 Semi 4 R/Final NZ Final

WED WED WED WED WED FRI FRI

1 May 8 May 15 May 22 May 29 May 7 June 28 June 141 Victoria St,

HAMILTON

Doors open 7:30pm

Heat 2 Heat 3 Semi 1 Semi 2 R/Final

FRI FRI FRI FRI FRI

3 May 17 May 24 May 31 May 21 June

107 Newton Street,

MT MAUNGANUI Doors open 8pm

Heat 3 Semi 1 Semi 2 R/Final

SAT SAT SAT SAT

18 May 25 May 8 June 22 June

11 Shakespear Rd,

NAPIER

Doors open 7:30pm

Heat 2 R/Final

IT’S NOT TOO LATE TO ENTER

Register now to be allocated a slot right away Deadline is the end of the heats, but enter now to ensure you get a slot at the venue nearest your location

PRIZES

MUSIK AND FILM, USA.

Pre-Production time & Packaged audio CDs from

MORECOREAUDIO STUDIOS.

Recording time at MARMALADE STUDIOS

PAISTE CYMBALS VIDEO CLIP

TO VOTE TXT

THE BAND’S NAME (no spaces) to

5405

(TXTs cost 50cents)

101 Ghuznee Street, Doors open 8pm

Semi 1 Semi 2 R/Final

THURS THURS SAT

16 May 23 May 15 June

Worldwide radio release / promotion & digital distribution via

& more

for your favourite band

30 May 20 June

WELLINGTON

Performance at RHYTHM & VINES FESTIVAL

ALLEN & HEATH mixing desk & AUDIO TECHNICA microphones from JANSEN SOUND. Recording time at YORK STREET STUDIOS Mastering at MUSIK AND FILM STUDIOS, USA.

THURS THURS

The Venue CHRISTCHURCH

6 Tower Street, Hornby, Doors open 8pm

Heat 3 Semi 1 Semi 2 R/Final

Tickets to all shows from

eventfinder.co.nz

THURS FRI THURS FRI

9 May 10 May 13 June 14 June DUNEDIN

65 Crawford St, Doors open Sat 8pm, Sun 6:30pm

Heat 1 Heat 2

SAT SUN

11 May 12 May

www.battleofthebands.co.nz ENTER AT

MUSIC

Shit worth doing

THU 09 MAY

WED 08 MAY TOOL

ELECTRIC WIRE HUSTLE SOUND SYSTEM

VECTOR ARENA

TYLER STREET GARAGE

6.30pm, $112-135, ticketmaster.co.nz

7.30PM, LIMITED FREE ENTRY

Lead singer Maynard Keenan may be having vocal issues at the moment – forcing the postponement of the group’s Adelaide show – but no doubt Tool will have that raw energy ready for their Kiwi show.

Known for time altering songs and that distinctive vocal work, they’re a live act not to be missed.

As part of NZ Music Month, every Wednesday and Thursday, Tyler Street Garage is hosting both renowned and rising Kiwi artists. After the opening party is Electric Wire Hustle Sound System – a fusion of hiphop, soul and funk, the band is an eclectic force to be reckoned with. You’ll be toe-tapping and shaking it.

TRUCKFIGHTERS

MATT LANGLEY

BODEGA

MIGHTY MIGHTY

8PM, $40, UNDERTHERADAR.CO.NZ

8PM, $15, UNDERTHERADAR.CO.NZ

Swedish fuzz rock legends Truckfighters embark on their first national tour of New Zealand. Their sound has been described as classic desert rock, similar to bands like Dozer, Fu Manchu (with whom they have toured), and Kyuss. Josh Homme even called them the best band that’s ever exsisted, so I guess that’s a fact.

Releasing his highly-anticipated sophomore album Virginia Avenue, Matt is packing up his shiz and taking his band on the road to celebrate the new sounds.

Named after a street in Broad Bay, Dunedin – it’s also produced by renowned pair Brett Stanton (The Phoenix Foundation) and Riki Gooch (Trinity Roots, Eru Dangerspiel).

END OF AN ERA PARTY

NORMA JEAN

WINDSOR CASTLE

THE KINGS ARMS

FRI 10 MAY

9PM

8PM, $35, UNDERTHERADAR.CO.NZ

Castle personalities Andre Santos and Chris Heyes are leaving the establishment to do other things. As a result, they’ve decided this is a good reason to party.

There’s live music from The Slacks, rounds of shots and a lot of fun times. Come and be part of the legacy and say a big farewell to these iconic legends.

LORDE MIGHTY MIGHTY

Not to be confused with a former celebrity superstar, Norma Jean is the Atlanta-born project which pushes the bounds of the metal genre. The band has earned a serious reputation for the pummeling brand of very heavy fare and an exciting live show. They’re joined by Auckland post-hardcore act Cold By Winter.

1814

gig OF THE WEEK

ALTITUDE BAR

10.30PM, SOLD OUT 8.30PM, $25, EVENTFINDER.CO.NZ

Not that long ago, the teen star was under wraps and unknown, except for her unique voice and strippedback sound. Now, the whole world can’t get enough of the North Shore student – getting big props from the likes of Perez Hilton. Find out what all the fuss is about with her first live show in our country.

Watch out Katchafire – these boys are learning the ropes of Kiwi reggae quick snap. Their third album Relax was released at the end of 2012 and has been hailed as a group “giving the rest of the world a taste of homegrown produce”. They’re getting big props for the high-production values and it’s showing with international attention.

MUZAI X WELLINGTON PUPPIES

The independent record company is making a move from the big smoke and taking the capital head on with family and friends – namely, their musicians. It comes before their big Year 4 show in Auckland and it’s sure to be a stunner. Featuring Wilberforces, Girls Pissing On Girls Pissing, The Bemsha Swing, Mean Girls, Society and Caroles.

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Key

9PM, $10, DOOR SALES ONLY

auckland

FREE

hamilton

LOCAL ACT

wellington

INTERNATIONAL ACT

dunedin

all ages

christchurch

TOUR

Shit worth doing

ALBUM OF THE WEEK

SAT 11 MAY

THE PHOENIX FOUNDATION

THE UPBEATS

FANDANGO

10 BAR

9PM

The drum & bass duo have just released yet another beat-heavy, club thumping classic and they’re following it up with some awesome live shows.

Wellingtonians The Upbeats are up there with international names and, as the name implies, are all about keeping the energy high and the fists in the air.

NZ SOUL ALL DAYER GOLDEN DAWN

2PM-2AM, $5, DOOR SALES ONLY

Soul All Dayer returns for the first in a regular series of events celebrating soul music – and the people who dig it! For 12 full hours at the Golden Dawn, soul music will take over, with classic soul and blaxploitation movies screening all day, soul food and just dammed good soul and funk music.

SUN 12 MAY TATTLETALE SAINTS PADDINGTON LIVE

7PM, $20, EVENTFINDER.CO.NZ

Red-hot duo Cy Winstanley and Vanessa McGowan, formerly part of acclaimed London based group Her Make Believe Band, present their songs in the rawest form with just acoustic guitar, double bass and voices described as “love letters between Amy Mann and a slip-sliding Paul Simon”.

RA GOSSAGE & GUESTS LEIGH SAWMILL CAFE, LEIGH

4PM, $10

Joined by Hoki Mai Rosier, who sings original songs in Te Reo, this country/folk gig is an intimate wee show located in the seaside community of Leigh. It’s a favourite venue of some of Kiwiland’s top artists and provides a cosy setting to hear homegrown songs of life. Try something different and head northwards.

MON 13 MAY GET ON YA BIKE THE BLEND BAR 7-9PM 2-4-1 BEERS AND WINE

Live music Monday, shots galore and a Sunday quiz night­– Blend is a real mix of events and deals to suit all kinds of party moods. Situated in the heart of Wellington, next to the Michael Fowler Centre, it’s the ideal location whether it’s an after work business meeting, or dinner and drinks before catching a show.

Fandango is a sprawling, progressive indie-folk body representing a band at their peak, armed with the confidence to indulge in their sonic ambitions. Not only have New Zealand starlets The Phoenix Foundation returned with their highly anticipated fifth album, but they’ve played the double album gamble, a natural progression after their trump-card winnings in 2010’s Buffalo perhaps, but a risky move nonetheless. Does it pay off? Yes, for the most part.

Opener ‘Black Mould’ sets the tone for the next 78 minutes, a fuzzy-folk gem with keys sprinkled over top, and some humorous wordplay that rolls languidly with the gentle rhythms, as lead singer Samuel Flynn Scott speaks of an isolated, damp, “valley of the saggy where the sun never kissed.”

The album was partly recorded in a barn in the depths of the NZ countryside, in winter, and the production and song structures somewhat reflect the setting.

Every number flourishes down its own winding path, exploring everchanging psych-tinged sceneries with that warm, 80s nostalgia the Wellington bunch excel in. It’s easy to feel lost, but it’s a definite cosy ride.

Lead single ‘The Captain’ shuffles with a glossy retro synth, while the pitter-patter percussion of ‘Modern Rock’ blends effortlessly into a jolting second act, and ‘Supernatural’ features some entrancing guitar work that fades into whispy electronics.

Dead’, and scatterbrain ‘Morning Riff’; but hey, two outta twelve ain’t bad.

For all their eccentricities, TPF certainly know how to dabble in suspense expertly, and it’s here that the double album truly takes flight.

‘Corale’ begins as an acoustic lullaby before the solar powered winds mark change midway; the vocals surrender, the amps kick in, and an aggressive guitar-driven space-aged stunner tears through. Electronics twinkle, and a cacophony of tension builds and filters off right before climax. The teasing bastards.

The suspense is stretched to extremes on album closer, ‘Friendly Society’, a 17 minute, Meddle-era Pink Floyd referencing epic. Taking up most of the second disc, it encompasses all that is Fandango, but will no doubt split public opinion for its length.

Hang in there though, for it’s more than worth it.

All in all, the album is best avoided by the impatient, but those willing to dive headfirst will find much joy in its mountainous tranquility.

WRITTEN BY JAMES MANNING

OUT NOW

Some ideas however, outstay their welcome, like the dragging ‘Inside Me

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9

CULTURE

Shit worth doing

ARTIST Q&A

WED 08 MAY WAYNE BRADY

JOHN PSATHAS MUSICIAN

AURORA CENTRE

8PM, $80, TICKETEK.CO.NZ

The so-called nicest guy in comedy showcases his insane improvisation skills. Give him a name, a word, a setting and he can turn it into a story, song and beyond. He’s known for his work on Whose Line Is It Anyways? and has been in the biz in more ways than one, releasing an album, starring in Broadway and hosting a TV show.

TITTY BAR HA HA BASEMENT THEATRE WED 08 MAY - SAT 11 MAY 10PM, $22-25, TICKETEK.CO.NZ

Oh, boobs? How raunchy! Set in 1943, England, it’s all about war, smut, sex and grime. Maybe in that order, maybe not. Join hosts Hope and Gloria for a raucous show of entertainment and no doubt high-end, classy filth. It’s a twisted little tale with a few taboos spoken and broken. A naughty late night treat.

STEVE HUGHES LOFT AT Q THEATRE WED 08 MAY - SAT 11 MAY 10PM, $22.50-27.50, QTHEATRE.CO.NZ

Aussie stand-up comedian Steve – not to be confused with Ewen Gilmour, although they sport a similar shaggy hairdo – is one of last year’s international stars of the comedy fest. He’s back and with a new show designed to tackle the big issues. Telling it like it is, he’s thought-provoking, confronting and hilarious.

SAT 11 MAY

Who’s in the dead supergroup for your dream hologram show?

Beethoven on piano, Jeff Porcaro (drummer from Toto), Charles Mingus on bass and Jeff Buckley singing.

What’s an upcoming film you’re jazzed about?

Star Trek Into Darkness – very jazzed.

Where can your stalkers find you during the weekend?

They can’t, I’m very sneaky.

What happens when you mix Coca Cola with Pepsi?

You get fat.

Your fantasy spirit animal is…

Panther.

Your signature “I’m an amazing cook” dish is…

Tiramisu.

The best TV show around at the moment is…

Justified.

The best place for a date night is…

Santorini.

You’d get arrested if the police knew that you…

Like I’m going to tell…

People say you look like…

Master Bates from Downton Abbey.

Kittens or puppies?

Kittens, but a minimum of 30.

What generic current affair has your blood boiled?

Child poverty in New Zealand.

SEE HIM PERFORM: NZSO HEAR & FAR FRI 10 MAY TOWN HALL, WELLINGTON SAT 25 MAY TOWN HALL, AUCKLAND

SUN 12 MAY RYOJI IKEDA TEST PATTERN

THE SECRET POLICEMAN’S BALL

GALATOS

COMEDY CHAMBER 8PM, $15 7PM, $35, THE-EDGE.CO.NZ

For one night only, Japanese sound artist Ryoji Ikeda performs a high-velocity live set, pushing the senses with his collision of ultra-fast binary images and synchronised sound. It’s 45 minutes of a dynamic audio-visual concert, composed of computer graphics, concept and composition. Part of the fifth Auckland Triennial, a contemporary art exhibit.

Amnesty International proudly presents a line-up of top comedians all standing up for freedom of expression at the 2013 Secret Policeman’s Ball NZ. Brace yourself for a night of top hilarity featuring some of the best we have to offer including ginger ninja Jesse Griffin, impressionist Simon McKinney, TJ McDonald, Chris Brain, Raybon Kan and more.

GREG ELLIS AS VANCE FONTAINE BASEMENT THEATRE TUE 07 MAY - SAT 11 MAY

Key

7PM, $18-20, TICKETEK.CO.NZ

You’re never too young to enjoy a big of retro lounge, and singer Vance Fontaine knows how to rev your engines with his sultry tones. He’s back in a new show that shares touching romantic secrets. You choose what music you want from his band and he’ll weaves stories and songs of his own conquests into a night of delicious soul-touching entertainment.

FOR A GOOD CAUSE

auckland

ART

hamilton

PLAY/TheatRE

wellington

MUSICAL

dunedin

COMEDY

christchurch

DANCE

If you were to live here. . .

AUCKLAND TRIENNIAL PARTNER

Ho Tzu Nyen The Cloud of Unknowing 2011 (still)

FOUNDING PARTNER

MAJOR SUPPORTERS AND SPONSORS

Artists reimagine Auckland

Opens this week

Free Entry

Auckland Art Gallery Artspace Auckland Museum Fresh Gallery Otara George Fraser Gallery Gus Fisher Gallery Silo Park ST PAUL St

The 5th Auckland Triennial

PLANETARIUM MUSIC SHOW

TWO ALBUMS: ‘DARK SIDE OF THE MOON’ & ‘THE WALL’

& DARK SIDE OF THE MOON NEXT SHOW:

TUESDAY

14TH MAY

8PM Re-live two of the greatest rock albums of all time with surround sound in the planetarium theatre at Stardome.

18+ event that includes two glasses of wine.

$35

To book phone 09 624 1246 / stardome.org.nz

ON SCREEN

Shit worth WATCHING

FILM OF THE WEEK

WED 08 MAY KATY PERRY: PART OF ME

JURASSIC PARK 3D

SKY MOVIES, 8.30PM

Get an inside look into the real Katy Perry and find out how this regular California girl with big dreams became one of the biggest stars in the world.

Including never-before-seen content, with full song performances, behind the scenes interviews and personal moments, this is your chance to experience Katy Perry’s teenage dream come true!

directed by STEVEN SPIELBERG Starring STARRING SAM NEILL, LAURA DERN, JEFF GOLDBLUM

HARRY TV3, 9:30PM

Sam Neill and Oscar Kightley join forces in Harry, an edgy and dark six-part crime drama. Set in Auckland, the show follows Detective Harry Anglesea (Oscar Kightley), a solo father struggling with his personal demons as he investigates a major murder case. Sam Neill plays Detective Jim “Stocks” Stockton, Harry’s boss and mentor.

THU 09 MAY STAR TREK INTO THE DARKNESS GENERAL RELEASE

The wait is over – the sequel to the 2009 blockbuster is here. With more explosions, chase scenes and boldly going where no man has gone before, Star Trek takes out the camp and makes it fabulous. The whole gang is back – with a new enemy to defeat – and it’s not going to be easy.

2013 NZ INTERNATIONAL FILM FESTIVAL MULTIPLE LOCATIONS

Jurassic Park’s once-innovative technology may have been eclipsed by more sophisticated onscreen trickery in the two decades since its release, but the film still has plenty to offer audiences as a suspenseful adventure that has stood the test of time. That’s not to say the last twenty years have been particularly kind to its costumes or onscreen gadgets (“look, a CD-ROM!!”), or the chaos theory pop science spouted throughout by Ian Malcolm (Jeff Goldblum in a performance that now is plain weird – or plain awesome).

These aspects of the film prove vaguely snigger-inducing throughout its first act, but in a testament to Spielberg’s powers – utilised here in arguably his last great adventure yarn – once the dino-doo hits the fan and giant carnivores start running amok, Jurassic Park still proves as thrilling as ever.

The 3D conversion seems to

have been approached with the film’s mid-90s aesthetic firmly in mind. Rather than trying to drag Jurassic Park kicking and screaming into the 21st Century there’s a frequent Viewmasterlike feel to the layers that have been created, some elements pulled hard into the foreground while others are banished further into the background to create an environment of great depth.

It’s a stylistic approach rather than a realistic one, further playing up the comic book feel established by the film’s early colour palette and scale of its creatures and sets. Once the adventure really begins, the 3D further enhances the amusement park ride feeling the film induces, proving a welcome addition that’s more than the usual thinly-veiled excuse to wring a few more box office dollars out of punters.

BY STEVE NEWALL, FLICKS.CO.NZ

MON 13 MAY JONES! LAUNCH SKY CHANNEL 13, 1PM

TUE 07 MAY - SUN 19 MAY

Key

The national event is back for 2013, showcasing a programme of between 150 to170 features in Auckland and Wellington. Ditch the mainstream madness for never-before-seen art house flicks, indie award winners, documentaries and more. It’s like a breath of fresh air, presenting new points of view and opinions, some even controversial or taboo.

NEW KID

TV SHOW

REALITY TV

CINEMA RELEASE

CULT CLASSIC

ONLINE

ALL AGES

DOCUMENTRY

AWARDS

TV FILM

JONES! is a new channel for people who love TV, offering an affectionate homage to television’s finest moments with an eclectic mix of programming favourites. Shows include Dad’s Army, Cheers, Thunderbirds, Mork & Mindy, Columbo, Bonanza, Twin Peaks, The Good Life, Minder and more.

THE LOVE BOAT - SEASON 1 JONES!, 4.10pm

The hit show which provided PG-rated humour, silly antics, and to top it all off, shots of pretty girls lounging around the pool. Step aboard the Pacific Princess and relive the magic with the hilarious crew all over again, with help from Season One guest appearances by Shelley Long, Florence Henderson, and John Ritter.

Barnie Duncan is Juan Vesuvius who is in ...

“a master of unpredictability and subverting expectations” - John Smythe, Theatreview Wed 15th – Sat 18th May

COMEDY part man

part maraca

The Basement Studio

10pm

OUT TAKES 2013 A REEL QUEER FILM FESTIVAL

23 MAY – 4 JUNE AUCKLAND 30 MAY – 12 JUNE WELLINGTON 14 – 16 JUNE WAIHEKE ISLAND TICKETS ON SALE 29 APRIL WWW.OUTTAKES.ORG.NZ

EAT

SHIT WORTH EATING

CASETTA 116 PARNELL RD

One of the many charming cafes that make Parnell a unique location, Casetta specialises in great coffee, sandwiches, salads, and home cooked meals. They’ve got a range of take home meals and decadent sweet treats to tempt your tastebuds. Decadent lunches, bursting with fun and not skimping on the ingredients.

LATE NIGHT DINER 152 PONSONBY RD

SHINOBI SUSHI LOUNGE

Hunger never sleeps on Ponsonby Road. If you’re the kind of person that gets peckish after 10pm, this place is for you. It’s an eatery that caters to the midnight snacker – but they’re not about cheese on toast. This is gourmet food, made fresh and with delicious flavours.

Shinobi Kaiseki is a seasonal celebration of the fine ingredients we have available in New Zealand. Held four times a year, once each season, they serve up to 18 dishes of classic and contemporary Japanese cuisine. With New Zealand-born, Japanese-trained staff, Shinobi combines traditional Japanese techniques with local fresh ingredients, creating a style unseen anywhere else within the country at present. “Sushi Lounge” refers to a relaxed style of dining, somewhere to enjoy all your favourites whenever you like without rules or restrictions. Whether you prefer traditional style sushi or would rather explore the limits of modern Japanese cuisine, Shinobi Sushi Lounge has something for everyone.

VIBE Key

43 VIVIAN ST

DAYTIME

DATE night

OPEN LATE

CASUAL DINING

NEW KID

CHEAP AND CHEERFUL

HIPSTER FRIENDLY

TAKEAWAY

OUTDOOR

SHARE

auckland EATERIES AGENTS & MERCHANTS

6-10 Roukai Lane, 309-5854 Seasonal lunch meals and latenight tapas served in a small cobblestone alleyway.

DEPOT

86 Federal St, 363-7048

DE POST Atico Cocina

Victoria Park Market 19 Drake St Freemans Bay, 354-4030 Inspired Caribbean food and cocktails in the Old Stables & Roof Terrace of the Vic Park Market.

466 Mt Eden Rd, 630-9330 Your local in the heart of Mt. Eden with over 100 beers available.

BRITOMART COUNTRY CLUB

31 Galway St, 303-2541 Gourmet pizzas, tapas and a famous high tea service.

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23 Ponsonby Rd, 360-6262 Like a stroll through the fragrant night markets & food stalls of Bangkok, MooChowChow is a boost to the senses.

PINXTOS

128c Ponsonby Rd Open now. Bar*Cafe*Tapas* 37 Drake St, 929-2790 Taking its cue from the Americas, but with an Antipodean twist.

Malt Bar

442 Richmond Road, Grey Lynn A must have stop between Ponsonby and Kingsland, with Monteiths beers and great food.

MEXICO

23 Britomart Place, 366-1759 The Strand Takapuna, 280-1487 Vibrant Mexican street food served with margaritas, tequila and beer. Arrive early for a table.

VERONA

169 K’Rd, 307-0508 Celebrating 20 years on K’Rd. Open 10am till late seven days with intimate booths, live music, gourmet food, cocktails & organic tap beer.

THE WINDSOR CASTLE

935A Mt Eden Rd, Mt Eden

144 Parnell Rd, 356-3650 Established in 1847, one of Auckland’s earliest surviving hotels serving gastro pub food in a comfortable, unpretentious environment.

Revelry

QUAY STREET CAFE

LIBERTINE

BIG J’S

1 Melton Road - Mt Wellington, 5790340 Gourmet Burgers are Jason’s speciality take home heat and eat meals, plus a huge range of cabinet food, everything cooked to serve.

MOOCHOWCHOW

ORVIETO CAFE

106 Ponsonby Road, 376-8663 Asian fusion style eatery set in a bohemian parlour.

SALE ST

7 Sale St, 307-8148 Bistro dining, award-winning microbrewery, celebrated garden bar and a private Velvet Room!

130 Quay Street, Britomart, 337 0088 This cheerful, busy inner-city cafe is a fantastic place for weekday breakfast, a leisurely weekend brunch, informal lunch meetings – and great coffee any time.

GIG GUIDE

SHIT WORTH DOING

AUCKLAND gig guide Wed 08 Art & Music Racket Bar

Battle of the Bands 2013 National Championship Semi Final 1 7PM, The Kings Arms, $10

Battle of the Bands 2013 National Championship Semi Final 1 7PM, The Juice Bar, $10

Conch Records at BCC Britomart Country Club

Groove Revue 8PM, Sale St

Nyntee All Night

For Love Not Money

DJ Selecta Sam

Omoutautahi (Think: Tree)路 by Joseph Harper

Fridays at Revelry

DJ Tony Phoenix

Hip Hop Event Rocky Ponting

Fly By Night

Lo Key & Latin Aotearoa

Frank Booker & Ben Wah

MARINA KATERINA

Global Warming Deejays

7PM, Longroom

The Wine Cellar

The Thursday Night Double Feature 6PM, Sale St

The Wax Works: T-Rice & Hudge

5PM, Britomart Country Club

University of Auckland Graduation Gala Concerto Competition Auckland Town Hall

Fri 10

Red Cup Night & Josh Leys

Ahoy vs Bhuja Mix

Sperber Dance Band w/ Buzz Moiler (Voom)

Ballads & Badlands Tour - Nadia Reid & Luckless

7.30PM, Chapel Bar & Bistro

Portland Public House

THE NARK COLLECTIVE PRESENTS: TOTEMS (Live) 1885

6PM, Libertine

The Hilltop Tavern

Dean Campbell

8PM, Chapel Bar & Bistro

Thu 09

DJ Adam O

Acoustic Thursdays with Eli

DJ Andy JV

7.30PM, Neighbourhood

8PM, Neighbourhood

Dinner Date 6 to 8 w/ Jol Mulholland

DJ Frank Booker & DJ Zane:T

Portland Public House

DJ Afrika Bambaataa 8PM, Studio the venue

DJ Imagine This 8PM, Snapdragon

DJ Jason Eli

6PM, The Commons

Electric Wire Hustle Sound System 7:30PM, Tyler Street Garage

General Lee

7.30PM, Chapel Bar & Bistro

Hunters & Selectors Racket Bar

Miho Wada Album Launch Party 8PM, 1885 Basement, $10

Music & People (Tom Lark) & Jazz Night (2Five9) 9PM, 1885

9PM, Snapdragon

5.30PM, Everybody`s

DJ Jason Kyle & Dj Normski

10PM, 1885

5PM, Revelry

Goldfinch

5.30PM, Britomart Country Club 5pm, Chapel Bar & Bistro

Nigel Love & Momentus 6PM, Hurstmere Brew Bar

Nyntee & Cuffy 6PM, Longroom

Sal Valentine & The Babyshakes w/ guests Portland Public House

Sons Of Zion feat. Tawaroa Stampede Bar

The Rico Art with Hudge, Coolhand Luke & Normski 6PM, Racket Bar

The Upbeats Primitive Technique Album Release Tour Studio

Sat 11 A Ponsonby Institution with Arash 8PM, Chapel Bar & Bistro

6PM, La Zeppa Kitchen 9PM, Twentyone SKY CITY 8PM, Revelry

5.30PM, Britomart Country Club

6PM, Libertine

Grapevinyl feat. Zane T & Special Guests 8PM, Racket Bar

Lady Luck 10PM, 1885

NZ Soul All Dayer 2PM, The Golden Dawn

PENKNIFE GLIDES & DANSE MACABRE REUNION SHOW The Kings Arms

Remininse Soul Mangawhai Tavern

Rewind: Back to the Rave Days Coherent, $10

Saturdays at Sale St 7PM, Sale St

Seeds Of Orbit, The Psychs, Sun Beer The Portland Public House

Sister Act & Cuffy

Auckland Roller Derby vs Dead End Derby

8PM, Longroom

Twentyone SKY CITY

6PM, Pitt Street YMCA

8PM, The Juice Bar

DJ Leza Lee

DJ Andy JV & DJ Jason Kyle

Tiny Ruins w/ Carnivorous Plants Society at Matakana Hall

Northern Steam Ship

DJ Karn Hall

Chivas at The Deck

DJ Rose Alice

6PM, Imperial Lane

DJ Russell Hodgson Twentyone SKY CITY

DJ T-Rice

6PM, La Zeppa Kitchen

DJ Tido

The Commons

Down The Hatch featuring The Beat Council 6PM, Sale St

9PM, Snapdragon

The Deep End

DJ Benwah & DJ ExMixKid

The Matakana Hall

10PM, Goldfinch

Sun 12

DJ Chris Cox & DJ Tido

100% Vinyl DJs

DJ Linley Latu

Acoustic Sunday Session w Eli Guttenbiel

8PM, Neighbourhood Chivas at The Deck

DJ R.I.A

7PM, Everybody`s

DJ Rose Alice

7PM, The Commons

2PM, Britomart Country Club

2PM, La Zeppa Kitchen

DJ Jason Kyle & Dj Normski

6PM, Northern Steam Ship

SHOP 2 , 155 KARANGAHAPE RD, AUCKLAND CBD, +64 (09) 3370694, WWW.OTAUTAHITATTOO.COM

SHIT WORTH DOING

auckland gig guide Kingsland Folk Club

Mon 13

Mother’s Day Latin Jazz

DJ Kilamanraro

RA GOSSAGE & Friends

More Tape - The Boy With Tape On His Face (Return Season)

The Portland Public House 12PM, Atico Cocina

4PM, Leigh Sawmill

SUNDAY SESSION WITH THE SENTIMENTAL SOUND SYSTEM 3pm, Chapel Bar & Bistro

Trusted Friends 3PM, Revelry

9PM, Northern Steam Ship

7PM, Q Auckland

Stand Up Comedy featuring Steve Wrigley & Jarred Christmas

8:30PM, Deep Creek Brewing Co

The Kings Arms Music Quiz 7PM, Kings Arms

Tue 14 Battle of the Bands 2013 National Championship Semi Final 2 The Juice Bar, $10

James Acaster (UK)

7PM, The Classic Comedy & Bar

Kings Arms Quiz 7:30, Kings Arms

Open Mic night At Windsor Castle 7PM, Windsor Castle

Quiz Night

7PM, Chapel Bar & Bistro

Eli Matthewson in Proposition: Great!

The Big Show 2013

The Good Guys Comedy Show

8:45PM, The EDGE

7:15PM, The Basement

WELLINGTON GIG guide Wed 08

The Deep End

DPTRCLB x High Hoops

Brad Zimmerman - Skydiving With My Mum

Wanking Around

Dr Sketchy

Fri 10

Our Love Will Destroy The World

8PM, Kitty O’Shea’s Irish Bar

Bar Medusa

9:15PM, Kitty O’Shea’s Irish Bar

Gloriously Average with Adam Wright & Rick Threlfo

4th Reel Brazil Film Festival

10PM, The Cavern Club

8am, The Paramount Theatre

Mighty Quiz!

Afrika Bambaataa,

6:30PM, Mighty Mighty

9PM, Bodega

Miles Calder & The Rumours

Jarrod Baker

9PM, Mighty Mighty

The Jam, 8PM, Meow

The Medicine Stand Up Comedy 8PM, The Cavern Club

Thu 09 Ben Hurley & Steve Wrigley - More Live & More Unleashed

8:30PM, Downstage Theatre

Class Comedians 2012: Fist Of Triumph 5PM, BATS Theatre

Get Nice,

8PM, Matterhorn

MATT LANGLEY

9PM, Mighty Mighty

10PM, The Fringe Bar

LORDE

9PM, Mighty Mighty, $25

Meow Sessions, 9PM, Meow

More Tape - The Boy With Tape On His Face (Return Season) 7PM, The Opera House

10PM, Mighty Mighty 4PM, Mighty Mighty

7PM, The Crypt

NZ Opera presents Madame Butterfly 7:30PM, St Jame Theatre

Our Love Will Destroy the World, with Cookie Brooklyn and the Crumbs and Confluence The Crypt

James Nokise - So So Gangsta 8:30PM, The Fringe Bar

The Departure Club Featuring High Hoops & Totems

7PM, Downstage Theatre

The Troubles 8PM, Meow

Mon 13 Michele A’Court Stuff I Forgot To Tell My Daughter

7PM, San Francisco Bath House

The Documentary Edge International Film Festival 12PM, Reading Cinema

The Wellington Mingus Ensemble 8:30PM, Meow

Tue 14 Latin Club

9PM, Mighty Mighty, $5

8:30PM, Meow

One Bucket, Two Comedians

Sun 12

Sat 11

4th Reel Brazil Film Festival

Michele A’Court Stuff I Forgot To Tell My Daughter

8PM, BATS Theatre

8am, The Paramount Theatre

4th Reel Brazil Film Festival

Ruth Armishaw

Chris Martin - Spot The Difference

The Documentary Edge International Film Festival

8am, The Paramount Theatre

7PM, San Francisco Bath House

7PM, Daddy O’s

12PM, Reading Cinema

7PM, San Francisco Bath House

NZ Opera presents Madame Butterfly 6PM, St James Theatre

Outsiders’ Guide 6:30PM, BATS Theatre

The Documentary Edge International Film Festival 12PM, Reading Cinema

CHRISTCHURCH gig guide Wed 08 Jarred Christmas - Lets go MoFo! 8PM, The Open Stage

Node presents

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Wack Wednesday With Alby and Seb

8PM, Dux Live

Wayne Brady “Still Making Sh*t Up” NZ Tour 8PM, Aurora Centre for the Performing Arts

Thu 09 Ballads & Badlands Tour - Nadia Reid & Luckless Darkroom, Christchurch

Battle of the Bands

2013 National Championship - Heat 2 8PM, The Venue Music Bar, $10

Von Voin Strum, Ashei & The Easy Hearts 8PM, Dux Live

t SHIT WORTH DOING

CHRISTCHURCH gig guide Fri 10 Battle of the Bands 2013 National Championship Semi Final 1

8PM, The Venue Music Bar, $10

Mike T

Subtle Sound System Presents Perverse 8PM, Dux Live

Sun 12 Lizzie Cook Trio The Dux Live

9PM, CBD Bar

The Bats Farewell Gig 8PM, Brougham, Tavern

Sat 11 CHARTFEST 2013 - Rock and Metal Show 9PM, Bourbon St Churchills

Dave Dobbyn Stories Old & New

Mon 13 Kate Anastasiou

8:30PM, The Monday Room

Tue 14 The Seven Irish Tenors 7:30PM, Aurora Centre for the Performing Arts

8PM, The Bedford at CPSA

REGIONAL gig guide Wed 08

Sat 11

Tattletale Saints Album Release Tour

1814

The Boundary Riders

Ballads & Badlands Tour - Nadia Reid & Luckless

The Cabana, Napier

Harbour St Theatrette, Oamaru

Thu 09 Matt Langley & Band Album Release Tour

Spa Hotel, Taupo

Chicks Hotel, Dunedin

Battle of the Bands 2013 National Championship - Heat 1

Chicks Hotel, Dunedin

Sammy’s, Dunedin, $10

Tattletale Saints Album Release Tour EastEnd Cafe & Bar, Wairoa

New Way Home w/ Decortica & Fire At Will

The Boundary Riders Pre-release Tour

Sons of Zion

Ballroom Billiards, Whangarei

The Church, Dunedin

Horeke Tavern, Hokianga

Fri 10

Tattletale Saints Album Release Tour w/ Tami Neilson

1814

Altitude Bar, Hamilton

Vinnies, Raglan

Soljah Album Release

The All Seeing Hand - Seth Frightening Tour 2013

Maungaturoto Hotel, Maungaturoto

STATIC’S 2ND BIRTHDAY feat. The Hollow Grinders, The Cavemen, Sex Pest, Mason Clinic & The Changing Same Static, Hamilton

Tattletale Saints Album Release Tour Dome Cinema Gisborne

The All Seeing Hand - Seth Frightening Tour 2013 Space Monster, Wanganui

The Deep End

Axces Bar, Hamilton

The Badcave, Palmerston North

The Salvi Stone Album Release

The Mayfair, New Plymouth

Sun 12 Ballads & Badlands Tour - Nadia Reid & Luckless The Church, Dunedin

Battle of the Bands 2013 National Championship - Heat 2 Sammy’s, Dunedin, $10

DRINK

Shit worth dRINKING

CHAPEL BAR & BISTRO 147 PONSONBY RD

Going to the Chapel, you probably won’t b getting married. You may meet your future wife/husband though, and you’ll be able to find some brews designed just for you. Flirty bubbles, the finest Champagne, craft beers, cocktails and more – Chapel is in the heart of Ponsonby Road.

BAR UP UPSTAIRS, CNR SEARLE LANE & EUREKA ARCADE

QUEENSTOWN Bar Up is renown for their cocktails and fun-filled attitude. They’re currently revising their list of delicacies – but the world-famous Money Shot is one to try. Indulge yourself with their three course cocktail degustation and sweets option. It’s a real treat.

RAGLAN ROAST

Somewhat of a coffee connoisseur? Know your mocha from a flat white? This is the place for you. Raglan Roast was started with an old coffee machine at the back of a kite surfing shop because the team wanted coffee great, fast and affordable. Over the last 12 years, the master crafters have grown from those humble beginnings and are now working with the best coffee brewing and grinding equipment available to produce the best coffee. Beans are roasted daily to ensure they are serving and selling the coffee fresh and at its very best.

Producing three great blends at four different locations.

VIBE Key

MULTIPLE LOCATIONS

DAYTIME

SPORTS BAR

OPEN LATE

DANCE FLOOR

FOOD

ONE NIGHT STAND

HIPSTER FRIENDLY

LIVE MUSIC

AFTER WORK

CRAFT BEERS

ITALIAN RESTAURANT

DINE IN – TAKE AWAY – DELIVERY – CATERING Pizza, pasta and... more!! All original Italian Four years on, Pane & Vino are still meeting Aucklanders’ expectations with new recipes from Italian regional traditions.

options, added to the classic “antipasti�, and thin-­crusted

at the 2011 Global Pizza Challenge.

BOOKINGS ESSENTIAL

Ph 09 360 0263 20 Williamson Ave | Ponsonby

www.paneevino.co.nz

shit worth Drinking

auckland GROOVE GULPS BREW ON QUAY PONSONBY & other PONSONBY Bonita Bar

242 Ponsonby Road, 3765670 The Ponsonby local on the corner of Summer St, that brings the beauty of fine and inexpensive wines together with a real appreciation of tapas.

GRAND CENTRAL

126 Ponsonby Rd, 360-1260 Ponsonby’s longest serving bar with live music/DJ 7 nights. 2 for 1 happy hour & licensed to 5am.

GOLDEN DAWN

Cnr Ponsonby & Richmond Rds, 376-9929

102 Quay Street Over 102 different beers from around NZ and the world.

THE BRITOMART COUNTRY CLUB

31 Galway St, 303-2541 A garden bar in the middle of the city. Comes with a mini golf lawn, cocktail jugs and vinyl-only DJs.

FIDDLER IRISH BAR

71 Victoria St West A small, but perfectly formed, authentic Irish bar with some of Aucklands friendliest bar staff..

Auckland University, L3, 34 Princes St, 366 0544 Everybody is welcome. Party action every night of the week.

DJ’s, Pool tables, Movies, Quiz, Karaoke, Happy Hours galore.

VERONA

169 K’Rd, 307-0508 Celebrating 20 years on K’Rd. With intimate booths, live music, gourmet food, cocktails & organic tap beer.

MEXICO IPANEMA BAR & RESTAURANT

2 Ponsonby Road Brazilian cuisine and bar mixed with classic & contemporary Brazilian music & culture.

Malt Bar

442 Richmond Road Grey Lynn A must have stop between Ponsonby and Kingsland, with Monteiths beers and great food.

pintxos

128c Ponsonby Rd Open now. Bar*Cafe*Tapas*

23 Britomart Place, 366-1759 Drink in the eclectic front bar or settle into the cosy dining area to explore the short but compelling menu.

NEWMARKET NEWMARKET

CENTRAL& K’RD & Krd CENTRAL DING DONG LOUNGE

REVELRY

106 Ponsonby Road, 376- 8663 19th Century bohemian parlour meets opium den chic.

Q Theatre

305 Queen Street Early morning coffee, scones and cool spaces for socialising and sharing ideas. Range of lunch options. Excellent wine list and a stylish selection of tapas, pizzas, platters and dinner options.

THE CLADDAGH

372-376 Broadway, 522-4410 The Claddagh Irish Pub - A slice of Ireland in the heart of Newmarket.

26 Wyndham Street New York’s premier rock and roll bar has come to town.

BRITOMART BRITOMART 1885

27 Galway St, 551 3100 Nightclub upstairs. Cocktail lounge downstairs. Home to Auckland’s biggest club nights.

AGENTS & MERCHANTS

48 Customs St East, 309-5854 Seasonal lunch meals and latenight tapas served in a small cobblestone alleyway.

GRACE BAR

103 Victoria St West, 300-6352 21st Birthdays, Hen/Stag Parties, Corporate Events, Dance Parties, CD Release Parties, Live Music.

FATHER TED’S ORIGINAL IRISH PUB

1 Wellesley St West, 377-3142 Entertainment seven nights a week, with three big screens, pool table, competitions & prizes, quiz, karaoke and live music.

SHOOTER SALOON BAR

330 New North Rd Not your ‘typical central bar’ Their no bull policy means what you see is what you get.

VIADUCT VIADUCT SNAPDRAGON

204 Quay St, 357-6147 A blend of 1930s vintage glamour and West Hollywood lounge with a healthy shot of private gentlemen’s club.

VICTORIAPARKPARK VICTORIA SALE ST

7 Sale St, 307-8148 A unique collection of spaces award-winning microbrewery, bistro dining, with a celebrated garden bar and very private Velvet Room!

Rakinos- Beats, Bar, Kitchen

Level 1/35 High Street 358-3535 ‘The Joint since 91’

PARNELL PARNELL THE PADDINGTON

117 St Georges Bay Rd, 309-3586 A Parnell institution for sports events, craft beers and superb food with the recent addition of top-notch live gigs.

DOC BAR

352 K’Rd, 365-1800 Open Tues-Sat

463 New North Rd The newest port of call in Kingsland.... rustic and raring to serve this evolving part of town.

Shadows Student Bar

RACKET BAR

6-10 Roukai Lane, 309-5854 Serves everything from singlemalt whisky to cans of Double Brown.

The Portland Public House

LA ZEPPA KITCHEN & BAR

37 Drake St, 379-8167 Enjoy each other’s company with a great glass of wine and tasty plates, without the constraints of having to book or have a meal at a certain time.

LIBERTINE

37 Drake St, 929-2790 This bar and eatery takes its cue from the Americas, but with an Antipodean twist.

THE WINDSOR CASTLE

144 Parnell Rd, 356-3650 Established in 1847, one of Auckland’s earliest surviving hotels serves gastro pub food in a comfortable, unpretentious environment.

THE OAKROOM 17 Drake, 300 6313

KINGSLAND KINGSLAND Neighbourhood Brewbar

498 New North Rd, 846-3773 Nestled in the site of an old garage and engineering shop.

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tours & events

Upcoming tours & events A$AP ROCKY (US)

Sat 11 May Founders Theatre, Hamilton Wed 15 May Baycourt, Tauranga Thu 16 May Civic Theatre, Rotorua Fri 17 May Bruce Mason Centre, Auckland Sat 18 May Bruce Mason Centre, Auckland Sun 19 May Bruce Mason Centre, Auckland Thu 23 May Municipal Theatre, Napier Fri 24 May Regent on Broadway, Palmerston North Sat 25 May TSB Bank Arena, Wellington

Tue 25 Jun Logan Campbell Centre, Auckland

AMANDA PALMER (US)

Sat 28 Sep The Kings Arms, Auckland Mon 30 Sep San Fran Bath House, Wellington

LATINAOTEAROA

Sat 11 May Monday Room, Christchurch Sat 25 May Aroha & Friends, Napier

REEL BRAZIL FILM FESTIVAL

Tue 07 May - Sun 12 May Paramount Theatre, Wellington

TOOL (US)

Wed 08 May Vector Arena, Auckland Thu 09 May Vector Arena, Auckland

TRUCKFIGHTERS (US)

Tue 07 May The Kings Arms, Auckland Wed 08 May Bodega, Wellington

MANIC STREET PREACHES Tue 02 Jul Vector Arena, Auckland

BEASTWARS

Fri 17 May Static, Hamilton Sat 18 May The Royal, Palmerston North Fri 24 May Churchills, Christchurch Sat 25 May Barkode, Timaru Fri 31 May ReFuel, Dunedin Sat 01 Jun Beach Bar, Invercargill

BOBBY WOMACK (US)

Sat 18 May Civic Theatre, Auckland

BRUNO MARS (US)

Sat 15 Mar Vector Arena, Auckland

NEWSTALK ZB SPLENDOUR SERIES: MUSIC OF WARTIME

RIHANNA (BB)

NZ INTERNATIONAL COMEDY FESTIVAL 2013

SEMI-PERMANENT

Thu 16 May Town Hall, Auckland

Thu 06 Oct Vector Arena, Auckland Fri 07 Oct Vector Arena, Auckland

THE VEILS

Fri 19 Jul Sammy’s Dunedin Sat 20 Jul Dux Live, Christchurch Fri 26 Jul Bodega, Wellington Sat 27 Jul Studio, Auckland

Fri 31 May - Sat 01 Jun Aotea Centre, Auckland

Tue 07 May - Sun 19 May Various Locations, Auckland & Wellington

NZSO PRESENTS HEAR & FAR

Fri 10 May Town Hall, Wellington Sat 25 May Town Hall, Auckland

ONE DIRECTION (UK) FOALS (UK)

Sat 05 Oct Town Hall, Auckland

Thu 10 Oct CBS Canterbury Arena, Christchurch Sat 12 Oct Vector Arena, Auckland Sun 13 Oct Vector Arena, Auckland

THE WAYANS BROTHERS (US) TENACIOUS D (US)

JAKE BUGG (UK)

Mon 20 May Town Hall, Auckland Tue 21 May Opera House, Wellington Wed 22 May The Bedford Marquee, Christchurch

Tue 30 Jul The Powerstation, Auckland

THE JAPANDROIDS (CA)

Thu 05 Sep Refuel, Dunedin Fri 06 Sep Bodega, Wellington Sat 07 Sep The Kings Arms, Auckland

KILLING JOKE (UK)

Thu 13 Jun Studio, Auckland

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THE PINK FLOYD EXPERIENCE

Fri 10 May TSB Showplace, New Plymouth

TOMMY ILL

Fri 17 May Dux Live, Christchurch Sat 18 May The Kings Arms, Auckland Fri 24 May Puppies, Wellington

Fri 03 May Bruce Mason Centre, Auckland

WAYNE BRADY (US)

Sat 04 May Founders Theatre, Hamilton Sun 05 May ASB Theatre, Auckland Tue 07 May Opera House, Wellington Wed 08 May Aurora Centre, Christchurch

SaTurDayS 10pM-12aM The #1 DJ In The WorlD (DJ MagazIne 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2012)

GeTting to know the BilLY T NominEes With the New Zealand International Comedy Festival in full swing, it’s time to wrap your laughing gear on for some awesome funny fodder. Now thanks to the droll humour of our forefathers, comedy in this part of the paddock was pretty sheepish until one day, one man changed it all. Billy T James was able to forge a hugely successful career out of making people laugh not only at themselves but at all their own stereotypes and foibles. Yeah. Nah. With out him where would Te News be, eh?

News presenters would still be wearing suits instead of shearing gear and yellow towels!

Well, to honour his memory, the New Zealand Comedy Trust created the annual Billy T Award back in 1997 to support up-and-coming comedians. You know, those with ubiqi-ubickub-errr, outstanding potential to take their comedy career to the next level. The first ever

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award went to Westie bogan Ewen Gilmour and thanks to that gong he’s gone on to great fame, fortune and even his own website!

He’s even found the courage to enter local politics; such is the power of the Billy! Last year, despite anonymous protestations from his mother, the award was picked up by Guy Williams from TV3’s Jono & Ben at Ten. He was seen recently risking life and limb performing a farewell song to Sonny Bill Williams (no relation, though Guy may claim otherwise, I’m sure.)

To make the call this year’s collection of deluded fools features previous Billy T Award winning comedians Brendhan Lovegrove and Steve Wrigley; Oliver Sealy (Channel Manager TVNZ U); Jackie van Beek (Actor/Writer/ Director) and Nigel McCulloch (The Down Low Concept whose productions include TV3’s

7 Days and Hounds). Their job was to whittle down fifteen of New Zealand’s emerging comedians down to five. Nominees are scrutinised on their proven comedic ability; talent; dedication; current form and potential, and will be judged on all aspects of their 2013 NZ International Comedy Festival show. The Billy T is a life changer, winning could open any doors or slam any shutters to success and riches - or at least rent for a flat in Naenae.

If you haven’t booked a ticket to one of this year’s nominees - well, then you’re just a sad, squirrelly individual. But no fear! All can be remedied. Just go to comedyfestival.co.nz.

Oh and don’t forget, the winner of the Billy T Award 2013 will be announced at Last Laughs show on Sun 19 May. See you there or be, um, Un-round!

PAX A finalist in the Raw Comedy competition in 2011, Pax caught the fast bus to success all the way to the Terminal building! He’s a first generation Kiwi of Middle Eastern heritage with his own, twisted perspective on how things roll. Failing to find any one credible to ask, we collared his best mate Chris, who reckons Pax’s comedy style is “calm and confident, but with a bit of Jihad on the end of it”. We asked Pax to reply: “Is that racist? Yeah, it is, but it’s cool and I took it as a compliment.

Rest in peace Chris”

TOM FURNISS Not afraid of square eyes and celluloid Furiniss won 2011’s V48HOURS for Grand Cheval’s Fad Film The Child Jumpers. Also nominated last year, he’s back for another bite at the Billy. Tom had a sell-out season of his first solo show The Free Ice Cream Show at the Comedy Festival last year and also performed in Melbourne with Fanfiction Comedy.

ELI MATTHEWSON Matthewson has been wagging classes at Unitec (Bachelor Of Performing & Screen Arts in Acting) to perform his show Minority Report with James Roque and Edith Poor. Not content with winning Best Comedy at the Auckland Fringe Festival in 2011 he headed for the big blue smoke, stuffing comedy partner Hamish Parkinson into his suitcase, so they could perform Square Eye Pair to supportive crowds at the Edinburgh Festival. And just to be an extra girly swot, Eli’s been nominated for Best New Comer at the Comedy festival this year, too!

JOSEPH MOORE Annoyingly talented Moore is a writer, director, actor, probably a cheese maker and a mechanic (though, don’t quote me on those last two) and now stand-up comedian. He’s performed at the Festival for over five years with hits such as Bombs Away! - A Musical and Space Race. Earlier this year he dusted off his passport to do Fanfiction Comedy at the Melbourne Comedy Festival. Fortunately they deported him and we can enjoy his talents back here in Laugh-tearoa!

ROSE MATAFEO If the name rings a bell, well, you may have caught her at TV3’s comedy gala show last year or the new comers show on TVNZ’s U Live and she was a Billy T Nominee in 2012. Rose, a graduate of the 2007’s Class Comedians programme, is a go-getting’s funfem comedienne. She struck success, hosting Fanfiction Comedy and has induced endless tears of laughter and sore tummies of joviality with her past solo Comedy Festival shows: Scout’s Honour and Life Lessons I’ve Learnt From The 60s Based On Things I’ve Seen On Television.

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FASHION

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UP FM PRESENTS

This Month in Clubland

OUTLOOK FESTIVAL

The Outlook Festival is the largest bass music and Soundsystem Culture festival based in Croatia fastly approaching its sixth year. When they talk about bass music they don’t mean the bastardised commercial version currently being sold to tweens, they mean underground dance floor music, whether it be Drum and Bass, House, Techno, Dubstep, Reggae, Dub, Hip Hop, Garage, Grime and Electronica. What does that have to do with New Zealand? Well apart from the pilgrimage of hundreds of kiwis every year to their Bassbin Mecca, we get our own slice of that European magic on our doorstep via the Outlook Festival Launch Party.

ESSENTIAL LISTENING LX ONE AND YOUNGSTA – ‘RESPONSIBILITY’ (SINGLE - 2013) SABRE, STRAY AND HALOGENIX FT. FRANK CARTER – ‘OBLIQUE’ (SINGLE - 2012) NEED FOR MIRRORS FT. DRS – ‘BROKE N ENGLISH’ (SINGLE 2012) SEE IT LIVE: AUCKLAND’S OUTLOOK FESTIVAL LAUNCH PARTY FRI 31 MAY STUDIO, AUCKLAND

NEW ZEALAND MUSIC MONTH FRED V & GRAFIX The UK label Hospital Records has a knack for finding talent. Every year a new act immerges on the imprint that is something more than just your run of the mill cookie cutter beat maker. In 2009 it was B-Complex, 2010 Camo & Krooked, 2011 Netsky and in 2012 it was Fred V & Grafix. Being judged by your peers at the 2012 Drum & Bass Arena Awards as the Best Newcomer of the year goes a long way to getting you on the tracklist for Emeli Sande, Madeon, Wretch 32 and Skepta. Still very much in their club infancy Fred V & Grafix are well on their way to being high profile stadium producers.

ESSENTIAL LISTENING RUDIMENTAL ‘FEEL THE LOVE (FRED V & GRAFIX REMIX)’ (SINGLE - 2012) ‘MAJOR HAPPY’ (SINGLE - 2012) ‘DADDYS GROOVE ‘IT ’S NOT RIGHT, BUT IT ’S OKAY’ (FRED V & GRAFIX REMIX) (SINGLE - 2012) SEE THEM LIVE: FRED V & GRAFIX THU 23 MAY COHERENT, AUCKLAND FRI 24 MAY SANDWICHES, WELLINGTON SAT 25 MAY 10 BAR, DUNEDIN

TOP 5 NZ ELECTRONICA TRACKS OF ALL TIME

Greg Churchill (NZ Godfather of House) 1. DLT meets The Projector - Freestyle Dub 2. Pig Out - Nozo 3. Timmy Schumacher & Baitercell - What’s Down Low 4. Mechanism - Spirit In Decent 5. Luke Walker - This Moment TREi (Drum & Bass Satellite) 1. Concord Dawn ft. Hollie Smith - ‘Say your Words’ 2. Tiki & Optimus Gryme - ‘My Lion’ 3. State of Mind - ‘Back to the Jungle’ 4. The Upbeats - ‘Will Shatner’ 5. Agent Alvin - C’rystal Metro’ Michael Tucker (Loop Recordings) 1. Recloose ft. Joe Dukie - ‘Dust’ 2. Pacific Heights - ‘Lavinia’ 3. Micronism - ‘Contemplating A Quiet Mind’ 4. Rhian Sheehan - ‘Garden Children’ 5. Pitch Black - ‘Soliton’ Optimus Gryme (Bass Music Fiend) 1. Salmonella Dub - ‘Conspiracy Dub’ 2. Katchafire - ‘Sensimillia’ (Pitch Black’s Sensi Dub) 3. The Nomad & Peter Wood - ‘Luna’ 4. Concord Dawn & Hollie Smith - ‘Say Your Words’ 5. Soulware - ‘Drawn Together’ Funk’ n’SloCuts (Minuit Music Man) 1. Downtown Brown - ‘NYC Movin’ 2. The Black Seeds - ‘Almost Home’ (Jet Jaguar Remix) 3. Minuit - ‘Aotearoa’ (Funk’n’SloCuts Remix) 4. Shapeshifter - ‘Tapestry’ 5. Rhombus - ‘Clav Dub’

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UP FM PRESENTS

THE UPBEATS With the nicknames Terror Snake and Downie Wolf you could be easily fooled into thinking these Wellington Drum & Bass producers were in fact a WWE tag team. However just like other great NZ exports The Bushwhackers, The Upbeats drop serious heavyweight pile drivers of their own. A decade in the business and with their fourth album just released there’s no sign of them retiring in the ultimate cage match called the music industry anytime soon.

ESSENTIAL LISTENING ED RUSH & OPTICAL - ‘PACMAN (UPBEATS REMIX)’ (SINGLE - 2008) BIG SKELETON (2009) PRIMITIVE TECHNIQUE (2013) SEE THEM LIVE: THE UPBEATS FRI 10 MAY STUDIO, AUCKLAND SAT 11 MAY 10 BAR, DUNEDIN FRI 17 MAY JAMES SMITH BASEMENT, WELLINGTON SAT 18 MAY THE BEDFORD, CHRISTCHURCH

VON-D The story of French DJ and producer Von D begins with a worn drum kit and a love of Dub and Jungle. His ability to fuse genres and hold his own on big name collaborations has established him as a true heavyweight of the bass sound. Releases on Skream’s Disfigured Dubz, Jakes Hench Records, Boka, Black Acre and V Recordings under his belt and with his latest record ‘Wicked Pharoah’ being crowned Mixmag’s Tune of the Month (May 2013) the future is all D’s.

ESSENTIAL LISTENING ‘SHOW ME’ (SINGLE - 2011) VON D FT. FOREIGN BEGGARS AND SPYDA – ‘MAXIMUM BOOST ’ (SINGLE - 2012) ‘WICKED PHAROAH’ (SINGLE - 2013) SEE HIM LIVE: VON-D WEDS 22 MAY SANDWICHES, WELLINGTON SAT 25 MAY BACCO ROOM, AUCKLAND

DJ AFRIKA BAMBAATAA From gang member to one of the most prominent figures in the early hip hop movement, Bambaataa revolutionised the way in which music brought about peace, unity, love and having fun amongst his South Bronx community. Worldwide, having formed the Zulu Nation in the 1970s (A collective of a socially and politically aware rappers, B-boys, graffiti artists and other people involved in hip hop culture), Bambaataa used a fusion of breakbeat and electronic sounds to influence his positive message for generations to come. ‘Can y’all get funky’ ESSENTIAL LISTENING ‘PLANET ROCK’ (SINGLE - 1982) ‘LOOKING FOR THE PERFECT BEAT’ (SINGLE - 1983) ‘RENEGADES OF FUNK’ (SINGLE - 1983)

LOOK OUT FOR

SEE HIM LIVE: DJ AFRIKA BAMBAATAA THU 09 MAY STUDIO, AUCKLAND FRI 10 MAY BODEGA, WELLINGTON

GENE K DJ/PRODUCER

Years DJing: 18 Years producing: 9 Favourite Piece of DJ equipment: NI Maschine.

Best DJ moment: ‘The Engineered Tour 2004 at Mansion Christchurch and ‘every time I play a track of mine. It is about the music still for me, and always will be.’

Greatest achievement to date: Being a good father.

What product do you wish you invented: Denim.

In High School you were pretty certain you were going to be: Hairstylist.

Best 5am food: Miso, Avocado, Tomato and Sprouts on Gluten free toast.

Next Releases: ‘Never and Always ft.The Kurnel MC’ (Digital Empire) and ‘Drop To The Beat ft. MC Rayna’ (Dirty Red Records).

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GEEKS

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The Fire Emblem series, like its developer Intelligent Systems, has a rich and storied history. Technically a turn-based strategy RPG, the games transcend mechanical description to become something... more. Awakening, the thirteenth game in the series (!), manages to tweak the well-known formula in all the right places, creating something worthy and fascinating to behold - despite the fact that it still walks such a well-trodden path.

If you’re new to the series, don’t let that put you off; you don’t need to know anything about any other game in the franchise to enjoy Awakening to the fullest. In the game, you dictate battle strategy and, by your decisions, your team will either route the enemy or fall beneath their blows.

This all plays out by way of a top-down battle map, separated into a simple grid, on which your troops and those of your opponent are laid out.

Turn by turn, you must position your units (like chess, perhaps, but much more entertaining) in a way that gives you the advantage when attacking or, in fact, being attacked. Get it right more than your enemy and you win.

The combat itself seems initially complicated, then simple, then overwhelmingly complicated again. While there isn’t so much to the basic “this guy stabs, that guy shoots” surface mechanics, underneath there are so many interesting and rich interactions that you really are learning and experimenting the whole way through.

For example, positioning characters near one another impacts how they perform; not only that, but this kind of thing actually builds a relationship between those two characters - the better the relationship, the better the bonuses for fighting them alongside each other. Already a fun, interesting system, it doesn’t stop there; get the relationship to a high enough level between compatible characters and they’ll get married and - wait for it - have kids, which will in turn join your party.

It’s deep, rich, long, good looking, addictive, portable, and - most importantly - loads of fun. If you like the idea of lugging around an extremely good strategy game, you can’t do better than this.

Highly recommended.

WRITTEN BY ALAN BELL

L O T TO

S E P R A H S D E H S E H T N I Tool are set to quench out thirst after their long awaited return with two shows at vector arena. The headlining shows come as a break from recording the highly anticipated fifth studio album.

Hailing from California the prog-rockers musical style involves complex and altering time signatures and an array of different instrumental styles. They’ve also worked to reduce the effect that lyrics can have on a song by not releasing lyric booklets for any of their albums and leaving it up the fans to discover them for themselves.

Tool have three Grammy’s and four albums under their belt since having released the EP Opiate more than 20 years ago and all of them have been well deserved. The first came in 1998 was for Best Metal Performance, the second in 2002 also for Best Metal Performance and the third Best Recording Package for the 3rd album cover of 10,000 Days. The awards are backed with a slew of nominations that include Best Hard Rock Performance and Best Music Video (Short Form).

Tool have also collected massive amounts of critical acclaim with one music website calling them, “a symphony of distorted bliss and polyrhythmic elegance that’s as complex as it is catchy.” Over the course of the last 22 years the band have perfected their groundbreaking, genre-transcending work that is alive with atypical time signatures and resonant with a sound that stimulates the brain meat.

The Melvins are said to be an influence on the band’s development while King Crimson are said to have influenced their sound. However, critics have said that they are influenced as much by Pink Floyd as by the Sex Pistols.

Tool are indeed a creative force musically and have also directed their talents to other avenues. Their music videos are short form cinematic releases and their live show is also writhing with its own life force and includes a stunning laser display and video displays that accompanying the performance.

Post rockers Jakob have been announced as the opening act. The Napier based band have played along side Tool before, having been hand picked by the band members to tour with them as part of the Sideshow tours for the 2011 Big Day Out. Jakob made their name opening for Salmonella Dub and Pitch Black while doing the rounds at the pub tours, which they did extensively through 1999, before recording their debut album in 2001. Subsets Of Sets was released in 2002 and from there the band moved on touring internationally across the United Kingdom, Denmark, and Canada.

Jakob’s sound has been called mesmerising with a tendency to become destructive in the blink of an eye. The three piece (consisting of guitarist Jeff Boyle; bassist Maurice Beckett; and drummer Jason Johnston) have taken a year out of Auckland’s live scene while they’ve been working on their fourth album.

WRITTEN BY SEBASTIAN MACKAY

SEE THEM LIVE: TOOL WED 08 MAY VECTOR ARENA, AUCKLAND THU 09 MAY VECTOR ARENA, AUCKLAND

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ENCORE

Picking up from The Comfort of Strangers, Beth Orton’s new album Sugaring Season shows another bold departure, taking traditional folk instrumentation into some unfamiliar territory, shifting from the electronic textures that dominated her early work. Its 6-year incubation was a result of parenthood, nuptials, and regaining confidence.

I’m sitting in a café just out of Wellington. The warm early morning breeze is drifting in over my half finished latté, disturbing the pattern on remaining froth. Half a world away, singer, songwriter and mother of two, Beth Orton is rubbing her shoulders to keep warm. The phone is cocked in the crook of her neck, slipping down on occasion and requiring a rescue from the cushions on her armchair. We’ve just been swapping stories about our little ‘uns. Beth has a girl of seven (Nancy) and a wee ‘little man’ (Arthur), who’s two. Her son and husband, banjo player Sam Amidon have been touring the US with her (her daughter often hanging with the grandparents in Washington DC). She’s telling me about her 6-year transformation from a single mum into a loved up wife, back on tour and on a voyage discovering there’s still a keen audience for her music out there.

Although music came early in her life Orton’s confidence in her self as a musician has always fluctuated. “I was never a real guitar player.

My earliest (recorded) stuff came from the guitars I found at William’s (Orbit) house. But I never really could play, not properly. I was a fan of some of the great folkies like Bert Jansch… (whom) I wanted him to play on (her second release) Trailer Park… but that didn’t really happen… I’d been a fan of his for years.”

In 2004, as luck would have it they ended up doing a gig together and sharing a dressing room. Jansch’s wife invited her for lunch, which became a teaching session. “He taught me formally, with tunings and theory. I was around there at their house nearly every week. I knew my limitations and it was nerve racking to push my self into new territory, but it paid off, I think.’ The longer she played the more her self-assurance grew. She started to play outside her own style, improving her picking.

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“Also, at that time I decided to move to the country for a little bit.”

So a solo mum and her daughter moved to converted barn in Norfolk, not far from her home town of Dereham. This was the closing of an emotional circle. At age 11 her parents split and she moved to London with her mother. Her father died soon after. At 19 her mother also passed on and Orton, seeking the need to escape took her self off to a Buddhist retreat in Thailand for several months. “When I came back, I was in this house all alone, in Dalston (London). No brothers or sisters. No body. “I found an acting job in a play and we eventually toured Russia. Then I was always going to parties. I went to one with an actress friend hosted

by William Orbit. Anyway, I tried to bum a cigarette of him. He went off to find one. I went home with some bloke.”

Days later, obsessed with Orton, he invited her to a Madonna Vogue party and attended her play. “He suggested I started singing for him.

But I didn’t want a reputation as some bloke’s bird that can’t really sing releasing an album, just because we’re going out. It was a strange time.

I was putting mum’s clothes in black rubbish bags, going around to William’s and listening to ‘Justify My Love’ and playing his guitars.” That was the start of her creative life as a recording artist. Whilst she says Orbit wasn’t entirely encouraging her collaborations with him did start the ball rolling. Tracks like ‘Someone’s Daughter and Sugar Boy’ became the basis for her hugely acclaimed Central Reservation.”

Her new album, Sugaring Season, “is about that time in spring when it’s really cold but the Maple sap starts to build. It’s a sort of potential. It’s like me I suppose, waiting to be released. These songs are the product of all this experience, waiting to be tapped out.”

WRITTEN BY TIM GRUAR SEE HER LIVE: BETH ORTON FRI 17 MAY OLD ST PAUL’S, WELLINGTON SAT 18 MAY HOLY TRINITY CATHEDRAL, AUCKLAND SUGARING SEASON IS OUT NOW

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