Scene 45
GOLDEN HOUR
STUFF & THINGS
Change is gonna come
What the future holds
) My mum always had this insane superstition that if she bought a diary or a calendar for the year ahead things would go terribly wrong. She thought that if she noted dates down anywhere rather than simply remembering them something would happen to change the course of the future, the superstitious butterfly effect if you will.
) “I’m terrified of things to come, paralysed I cannot run, tell me what the future holds, tell me baby” sing Steps on their latest release. Froth and frippery yes but also a bit of a banger and also a very good question from Claire et al.
BY BILLIE GOLD
So when the world went crazy last year, I got a call from my mum. “See I told you I shouldn’t have bought that diary, now look what’s happened.” What my mum effectively had done, was blame the entire pandemic on herself and a £1.99 notebook from WH Smith. A notion born out of paranoia and the unending need to take responsibility for problems beyond her control? Why yes of course, but I’ll be damned if I didn’t see a cute 2021 diary in a shop the other day and only dared side eye it... When asked to write about what the future holds I quite honestly drew a blank, and then got terrified by the thought that the next year may be as uncertain as the last, but while drinking a gin and tonic and musing over the void that I saw before me I had some thoughts.
“If I’ve learnt anything it’s that nothing is certain, but I hope that this year it doesn’t take a pandemic for positive change to happen” I doubt anyone is the same any more. We’ve lost people and careers all over the space of six months. There are countless indie films that’ll try to change your life by telling us that life has become an endless monotonous rat race, we scare ourselves by watching zombie films about virus outbreaks and baulk at the thought that everything we once knew has gone. But it’s actually happened. Perhaps not quite so extreme, but last year brought up deeper issues about how our lives are run as a whole than if we were able to go to the pub or not. This may actually be the first time that we’ve had to reassess literally everything. I mean for goodness sake I’ve heard of at least 10 couples that have broken up during the lockdowns simply because the person they send five hours a day with was a completely different person when they had to spend 24 hours a day with them. I don’t like change as a rule but we’ve had no choice. I’ve reconnected with people who I swore were my enemy, I’ve done more for people even though my own problems were many over the past year than I ever thought I could, simply because I felt like a jerk for not being the friend or family that I could have been the whole time. If I’ve learnt anything it’s that nothing is certain, but I hope that this year it doesn’t a take a pandemic for positive change to happen. Personally I’d rather have an important epiphany about my life sat in a pub over too many shots of tequila, than sitting in front of Netflix at home. I won’t buy a diary, just in case.
BY JON TAYLOR
What approaches this year? What glories abound? What wonders appear on the horizon? God knows...
“Another thing that will be nice to do is to be able to choose to stay in rather than having to. Yes, let’s pop out for a spontaneous drink but also, no, I’m not going to go out, I’m choosing to stay at home and watch some telly” This is the time of year that you’ll find so many of those Ten Steps To Being A New You in 2021, or Change Your Life in 2021, or You’re So Rubbish You Must Sort Yourself Out in 2021 articles telling you what you should or shouldn’t be doing and how to achieve greatness in the upcoming months. All you need to do, they say, is drink your own weight in water every day, waft burning feathers under your nose and learn to speak Esperanto, and the world will be yours. And take up pilates, naturally. They are all nonsense and merely a page-filling exercise as nothing really happens in January and you have to fill newspaper and magazine space somehow. There may be fewer of them this year as Brexit hits and all the journalists start writing about how we’re having to eat dust and drink cat’s milk to get by, but there will still be some. It’s only natural for us all to think about what’s in store when we hit a new year. But as this is my column I will ponder: What would Jon like to happen this year? First, I’d like to go to a pub with my mates and not have to think about anything else other than chatting and drinking. I think that’s quite universal at the moment. I would like to go on holiday as I didn’t last year because of quarantining and stuff. I’d like to eat out occasionally without massive planning beforehand. I’d like to go on a date or two. Or three. Start that part of my life up again. I’d like the Brighton Gay Men’s Chorus to start rehearsing properly again so we can put on a show and then have a massive after-show party. I’ve really missed performing this year. I love being on stage singing, acting, the whole kaboosh. The stage is one of the places where I feel most comfortable and can be myself. Not being able to put any shows on this year has been tough and I can’t wait for us to start up again. Another thing that will be nice to do is to be able to choose to stay in rather than having to. Yes, let’s pop out for a spontaneous drink but also, no, I’m not going to go out, I’m choosing to stay at home and watch some telly. Not being forced to stay in with the doors closed... that’ll be nice. Oh and hugs. So missed hugging people. Not strangers, obviously. People I know and like. Just to be clear!
