Gscene 63
STUFF & THINGS
HOMELY HOMILY
My two cents
Making sense of it all
) And so, the HIV issue rolls around again. Seems to happen earlier every year. Or is that Christmas? Anyway. I never know what to write on HIV. What can you say that’s not been said before? Do I have HIV? No. Do I know people who do? Yes. Are any of them close friends? Not really. Do I know anyone who has died as a direct or indirect result? No. Do I know what PrEP is and what undetectable means? Yes. Do I practise safe sex? Not always. Do I get tested regularly for it? Yes. I expect that these answers apply to lots of gay men. HIV has never properly entered my day-to-day life and so, as a result, it’s never really been front and centre in my mind.
) For me, World Aids Day is always a time of reflection. A time to remember those we have lost to Aids and to be grateful for all the advances in medicine that have allowed many of us to continue to live.
BY JON TAYLOR
“I remember talking to the pastor of the church about liking men and asking for his advice. He responded by saying that I liked looking at pictures of blokes with muscles because I hadn’t got any muscles (there’s a lovely thing to hear)” I think a reason for this is that I came out late and things had improved markedly by then in the discussion and prevention of it. I came out in my early thirties so we were well into the new millennium by then. I’d been meeting up with guys before I came out but I’d been scared of doing so. Not because of HIV and Aids but because I’d been part of an evangelical church for about 10 years and being gay was not approved of. In fact, it was thoroughly discouraged. I remember talking to the pastor of the church about liking men and asking for his advice. He responded by saying that I liked looking at pictures of blokes with muscles because I hadn’t got any muscles (there’s a lovely thing to hear) and wanted to look like those that did. And that was it. He’d solved the ‘issue’ of Jon’s potential gayness. It was never mentioned again. Such a caring and empathetic guy! So, by the time I’d escaped the church and had officially stepped into the World of Gay you couldn’t move for having condoms thrown at you while you sat and had a pint and I didn’t bat an eyelid about using them. And that was that. The only other way that HIV pops up in my life is the World Aids Day concert that my Chorus takes part in along with the other Brighton choirs. I say that, but I’ve not been to the last few. I guess I feel a bit hypocritical about attending and singing when the day itself doesn’t really have much significance for me. There are others for whom it’s an important event but for me it’s not so I leave it for those for whom it’s got meaning. Plus, the mulled wine is rather expensive! And that’s it really for HIV and me. I guess if there was a ‘Worldwide Day For Those Wanting To Get Back At A Dick Of A Pastor’ I’d be an enthusiastic attendee. Plus, as it would be a church event, there’d be tea and biscuits. Cup of tea and I’m anybody’s!
BY GLENN STEVENS
I was diagnosed HIV+ in 1988, when the best advice given was to make the next couple of years count. Aged 23 I freaked out, this wasn’t what I’d planned and, despite having a strong group of supportive friends, I needed someone outside that set. It was at this point that counselling was suggested to me as a way of making sense out of something that made little sense at all. My GP was hopeless, and also homophobic, so it was a great relief that Brighton had a fledgling HIV clinic with dedicated staff who were able to give me the information I needed and point me in the right direction. The first was an outstanding HIV/Aids-dedicated counselling organisation called The Red Admiral Project, a London-based organisation offering help and support to all those living with a HIV/ Aids diagnosis. To me this was a revelation! Being offered the space and time to really dig deep into my emotions about how I felt and how I was going to deal with what was for all intents and purposes a death sentence.
“With this support I flourished, dealt with and banished old demons and gathered the strength to grapple with this new one, HIV.” Unsurprisingly with this support I flourished, dealt with and banished old demons and gathered the strength to grapple with this new one, HIV. Over the years I have returned to counselling, finding it invaluable for me and my mental health in times of need, with particular thanks and praise to Jackie Titley, who used to be a counsellor extraordinaire at The Sussex Beacon. Back to 1988, my flatmate, Tom, put me in touch with a fantastic scheme called The Buddy Group. The idea was simple but so effective: a person newly diagnosed with a HIV+ diagnosis would be paired up with a ‘Buddy’ who, in most cases, was another gay man who would go along to medical appointments and offer support. My Buddy was an amazing guy called Carleton who, as well as accompanying me to my medical appointments, was also a listening ear over a pint or two. In those early days of HIV, Brighton volunteers rose to the challenge and there was an array of organisations, including Sussex AIDS Centre, Open Door and Our House. Our House offered an array of holistic therapies, all for free. In those early days I was treated for back pain and emotional wellbeing with acupuncture from a wonderful practitioner called Deirdre. From those early days of living with HIV, I know how lucky I am to have been in line for antiretroviral medication which without a doubt saved my life but also threw at me a host of different side effect to overcome. To the brilliant volunteers who all stepped up at a time when people like me needed their support the most, I’d like to say ‘Thank you’.
