Be Assertive, Not Aggressive

Being assertive is a great skill that everyone should learn, and it won’t put interviewers of. In fact, it may even draw them in.

Assertveness is about fnding a happy medium between aggressiveness – “I’m the best thing that is going –to happen to your organisaton!” – and passivity – “Well... I’m not sure how well I can perform on this job. I can give it a try... I guess.”

But it’s also about striking a balance between your needs and the demands of your colleagues, boss and clients.

Translated into the interview arena, this means staying in control and treatng the interview as a two-way process with clear, calm and frank communicaton. It may help to think of it as a casual, but polite, meetng or conversaton rather than a one-way interrogaton. Here are some ways you can accomplish this.

Assertive communication

1. Show of your pearly whites! Always look directly at your interviewer and smile. If you’re being interviewed by a panel, take the tme to look and smile at each interviewer in turn.

2. Break the ice

Don’t be afraid to start a casual conversaton with your recruiters – it shows courage and can even help you relax. However, avoid making extremely personal comments much like “Wow, you’re really beautiful!”

Keep things neutral. Topics such as the impressive ofce, the busy trafc and the beautful weather are all safe.

3. Repeat key facts

Have an important detail you want to highlight? Menton it, and then summarise it again! If you think it deserves another menton later, do so. But be careful not to come across as pedantc.

4. Find equal trade-ofs Don’t be intmidated into acceptng a one-sided bargain. Your agreement should outline a win-win scenario where both you and the employer stand to gain – such as they ofering training even as you ofer commitment. 5. Stay calm and take your time answering Some recruiters may ask difcult questons, but don’t be pressured into giving an instant response. Instead, buy tme by asking the interviewer to clarify the queston, or ask for some tme to think it through. 6. Ask questions Show your maturity and enthusiasm by asking questons about the company’s role and the industry. Questons about working at the organisaton are also an indicaton of your desire to ft in.

Active listening

1. Listen without interrupting

Don’t interrupt and form your own assumptons on what the recruiter might be asking or saying before he or she fnishes. Afer all, you don’t want to spend 15 minutes answering a queston only to fnd that you’ve misunderstood the recruiter!

2. Nod and acknowledge

Every once in a while, nod and acknowledge the interviewers. If necessary, make brief comments to indicate that you’re listening – “yes” and “uh huh” work. Don’t nod excessively, though!

3. Echo their language

Establish a rapport by echoing the language the interviewers use to describe their approach to problems and solutons. For example, do they “Feel the outcome is...” or “See the outcome as being...?” 4. Let your body talk Mimic the interviewer’s body language to build a connecton, but don’t overdo it! Responding with the appropriate facial expressions are important too. Looking bored as you listen is defnitely not the way to go. Checklist: Are you assertive enough?

I can look at my interviewer in the eye and feel OK I feel alright talking about my own achievements I’m able to queston things when I’m uncertain about them I’m comfortable saying “I don’t know” or “Sorry, I don’t understand the queston” I’m able to express my honest opinion to the recruiters, even if they might disagree I feel comfortable referring to my resume for help in the interview room I’m able to speak confdently in group situatons, such as group assessments I can assert my own needs while working with others without feeling reluctant I can say “I’m capable of doing this job” or “I don’t want this job” without feeling awkward I can be honest about the mistakes I’ve made in the past

If you got…

More than 7:

Well done, you’re consistently assertve! You know your mind and you have no qualms about speaking up politely.

Less than 7:

You may stll be a litle shy about expressing yourself. But do your best to share your thoughts with others – politely, of course!