Book Review
51
Marrying Korean Reviewed by Rhiannon Howell-Matwichuk
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ARTS & CULTURE
tefano Young’s first foray into writing comes to us as Marrying Korean, a short-form memoir about the author’s journey of enmeshing himself into a new culture for his future wife. It is a tale as old as time: Boy meets girl and then chaos ensues. The chaos of Young’s variety is a particular brand – the kind that happens when a white person marries into a traditional Asian household. Cultural norms are challenged, genderroles are upheld, and the couple is plagued by questions of how their compatibility is affected by their distinctive backgrounds.
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In other sections, however, Young explores the delicate and very personal intricacies of navigating a new culture from a very unfamiliar place to most foreigners in Korea: a serious romantic relationship. In one moment, Young shares the details of a fight with Garam over a “near miss” while test-driving a new car. Being an inexperienced driver, Garam expected Young to take the wheel when she asked. As she was to be the primary driver of the car, Young assumed, without prior knowledge of her driving abilities, that she should be the one to test the vehicle. The resulting conflict that followed the almost-accident takes what was seemingly a minor scare and turns it into a microcosm for bigger problems in the relationship. At one juncture in the fight, Garam laments that “a Korean
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For those who are hoping for some light and fluffy tales about Korea, this book does not disappoint. For example, a chapter is dedicated to the author’s experience visiting a Korean bathhouse, or jjimjil-bang (찜질방), with his fatherin-law and the distinct feeling of (literal) naked outsiderness that comes along with that. In another chapter, he recounts an anecdote about his first stay at a love motel, offering any expat reader a sympathetic chuckle in response to his shock at certain provided amenities in such establishments. At times, such moments read as a Pinterest list of “Must-Do Things While in Korea,” but his experiences are wholly accurate in their narration of the easily recognizable differences one would find on a foray to the Land of the Morning Calm.
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Young’s purpose in writing this book seems to be a simple one: Allow the reader to act as a voyeur while he recounts snapshots of his relationship. Spanning from the first trip Young and his then-girlfriend Garam made to Korea together to their eventual marriage and creation of a family, Young organizes the book to read as small, altogether charming glimpses into a newcomer’s experience of Korea. As the book progresses, the order of events jumps around quite generously, but in the end, returns to its starting point. In general, he accurately identifies the thought process that occurs when a person first encounters Korea from a non-tourist lens. The new tastes, smells, and ways of life he is subject to help teach the reader about aspects of Korean culture they may not have been aware of previously.
3/27/2020 2:43:26 PM
