The Haven 2017 Catalogue

the

haven

a centre for transformative learning

programs in the art and science of living well, together

2017

“I learned to turn up the flame in my life.”

the haven vision

our organizational values

our teaching principles

The Haven is an exceptional institution creating a relational world where every person is whole and responsible for themselves and their environment, and where all life is met with dignity and respect, open curiosity, and loving compassion.

• Loving • Freedom • Integrity • Respect • Joy • Self-responsibility

• Curiosity • Self-responsibility • Communication • Relationship • Embodiment • Experiential Learning • Personal Fulfillment • Inclusion

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Welcome to The Haven At The Haven we are dedicated to helping you build richer relationships with others and yourself.

With a centre on Gabriola Island, BC, Canada our not-for-profit educational organization offers transformational learning experiences in group settings.

We believe in creating a relational world where each of us is whole and responsible for ourselves and our environment.

For over 30 years, we have developed innovative approaches to teaching and learning, challenging thousands to define and shape their lives.

Register Today!

Programs in the art and science of living well, together

You can register for our programs online, by email, or by phone.

A range of payment options is available, including payment in installments if you register more than three months in advance and a special Earlybird rate for payments made at least two weeks before a program begins.

Our registrars will provide program information and take care of your registration and accommodation. They are available seven days a week from 9 am to 6 pm Pacific Time.

Morag Ruckman

Shannon Schetyna

Cindy O’Dell

We offer an inclusive environment and welcome people of diverse backgrounds and perspectives.

The Haven is a federally registered educational charity in Canada (#89280-6407 RR0001) and the US (#30-0278642). Your tuition may be tax deductible. The Haven is a certified educational institute and is registered with the Private Training Institutions Branch. All eligible participants will receive a T2202A in January.

• haven.ca • register@haven.ca • 1 800 222 9211 ext. 1

Monthly Q & A Join us for The Haven Q & A on the first of every month at 6 pm Pacific Time to find out more about Haven programs. Talk with a Haven leader or assistant to learn something new and get your questions answered.

Call toll free on the first of the month and join the conversation.

Dial 1 866 951 1151 and enter Conference Room number 2260848#

who comes to the haven?

People looking for richer connections at home, work, and in community.

what can i learn?

The art and science of living well, together.

Self-responsible, relational living.

People of diverse backgrounds and perspectives who have the willingness to take risks.

The ability to shape and embody your life and have richer relationships.

People who have an aspiration for richer connections with themselves and others.

Understanding of how you relate to yourself and others.

how do you do it?

A curriculum that integrates wisdom and practices from multiple East/West disciplines, including psychotherapy and Western and Eastern philosophy and medicine.

Transformational group experiences that invite curiosity about each other and ourselves.

Highly skilled faculty who embody and model what they teach in a very personal way. Haven faculty have very diverse backgrounds and life experience, which they bring into their role.

what’s a good place to start? come alive is the program most people take first at The Haven.

Created more than 30 years ago by The Haven’s founders Bennet Wong and Jock McKeen, Come Alive is an opportunity for revitalizing your life, discovering and activating your resources and realizing your full potential in your personal and professional life.

There are plenty of other possibilities too!

Browse this catalogue or talk with our registrars to find out more.

haven.ca

At The Haven you’ll engage with people who see things differently, and learn about yourself.

The Haven offers transformational group experiences that invite curiosity about each other and ourselves.

The Haven answers this question: How do we have relationships that work?

Each of us is responsible for creating our relationship with ourselves and the world around us.

Professional Training

Youth Leadership Training

Professional training through a process of interning and assisting has been an integral part of The Haven for many years, attracting adults and youth from different walks of life and from all over the world. We offer certificates and diplomas in group facilitation, counseling and leadership. The skills development we offer is hard to find anywhere else.

Haven Training Programs Our training programs are designed to suit a broad range of life circumstances, interests, and learning styles. Individuals can experience the pleasure of personal discovery and professional development in an atmosphere respectful of their particular strengths and challenges. Our training focuses on learning how to:

• • •

Support others while being fully present with ourselves Work in an interdependent team, being personal and supportive Develop skills in interpersonal communication, energetic experiential forms and group facilitation

The Youth Leadership Diploma (YLD) program provides an exceptional experience for youth of a range of ages, backgrounds and talents. The YLD program offers youth the possibility of meaningful volunteer hours to satisfy high school graduation requirements; opportunities for a positive working experience; support for moving into paid employment (including references); and a way to demonstrate extracurricular or volunteer experience that is valuable in applying for university or other post-secondary education. Teens with YLD program experience may take their skills onwards into adult leadership.

Accommodation and Dining

the 2017 calendar

The Haven offers a range of comfortable rooms and suites. Most of the rooms are designed to be shared by two or more people, though private rates are available. We offer four room types: Dorm, Basic, Forest View, and Ocean View.

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Thunderbird dormitory is our most economical option.

Each dorm pod accommodates up to 6 people, and each pod has its own shared bathroom. Bunks are single over single, with extra long mattresses. Dorm pods are male, female and gender neutral spaces, according to availability.

Basic rooms are simply furnished, comfortable and economical. They have two singles or one double bed, and a private bathroom. They do not have a TV. Forest View rooms are located in attractive forested areas of the Haven property. Larger than our basic rooms, they have two or more beds, a TV and private bathroom.

Ocean View rooms and suites offer spacious, well-equipped and comfortable accommodation looking out over the beach and waters of Taylor Bay. There is a TV in each room, a full kitchen or kitchenette, and private bathroom. Most Ocean view rooms have a deck.

january 1—6

Come Alive Nicholls & Raithby $1125 ($1225)

6—8

Yoga Immersion: Winter Price $460 ($500)

7—8

Breathe Nicholls $325 ($345)

15—20

Body, Breath & Energy Training Nicholls & Raithby $1175 ($1275)

22—27

Come Alive Macklin & Olynyk $1125 ($1225)

february 2—5

Grieving: Change & Growth Nicholls $655 ($715)

4&5

The Haven Toolkits in Campbell River $30 / $50

9—12

Dynamic Dialogue McNally & Hilton $615 ($675)

12—17

Come Alive Nicholls & Raithby $1125 ($1225)

16—19

Projection & Transference McNally & Brown $615 ($675)

24—28

Couples Alive I Raithby & McCartney $1950 ($2110) per couple

march 2—5

Stirring the Cauldron Dillon Shaw $540 ($600)

2—5

Transforming Anxiety & Stress Raithby & Hilton $625 ($685)

5—10 16—19

Anger Boundaries & Safety Gurel $625 ($685)

16—19

Deep Listening: Core Skills for Coaching Wilder & Hilton $625 ($685)

16—19 18 & 19

An Ocean View Room Off Peak Season Sep 15–May 31

19—24 20—25

Kids in the Spotlight (Spring Break) Goldbeck $800 ($900)

Jun 1–Sep 14

Couples in Conflict Curtin & McNally $550 ($590)

Dorm Shared $75.75

Shared $80.75

Basic Private $145.75 Shared $97.75

Private $165.75 Shared $107.75

30—APR 2

Forest View Private $177.75 Shared $113.75

Private $207.75 Shared $128.75

– prices include breakfast, lunch and dinner –

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Come Alive Curtin & Huntington $1125 ($1225)

24—26 26—30

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Inner Wisdom for Women Farrell $585 ($645) The Haven Toolkits in Haida Gwaii $30 / $50

Peak Season

30–APR 2

• • • •

Come Alive Ames & Brown $1125 ($1225)

Prices shown are for program participants only.

Prices include three buffet-style meals a day.

Prices are in Canadian dollars, per person per night.

Reductions are available for participants in the Living Alive Phase programs.

A limited number of pet-friendly rooms are available for advance booking, with a surcharge.

There is a $10 per day non-resident fee for guests staying outside The Haven.

Haven Unplugged $160 Five Elements Practicum Olynyk $545 ($605) Yoga Immersion: Spring Price $595 ($655)

april 2—7

Sexual Intelligence Dillon-Shaw $1125 ($1225)

6—9

Career Revisioning Farrell $585 ($645)

7—9

Life after Separation Roger & Stanley $540 ($580)

8&9 9—14 13—16 17—MAY 12

The Haven Toolkits in Vancouver $30 / $50 Come Alive Macklin & McNally $1125 ($1225) Act Natural Geesman & Lucht $615 ($675) Living Alive Phase I Clarke & Ames $3875 ($4375)

21—24

Psychology of the Chakras Cassidy $525 ($585)

21—28

Living Nonviolent Communication Miyagawa & Walkley $1230 ($1370)

• For the first price below (the earlybird price) register and pay your tuition fees at least two weeks in advance.

• You can pay in installments if you register three months in advance.

• Tuition fees do not include meals or accommodation.

27—30 30—MAY 5

Group Leadership Wilder & McNally $615 ($675)

5—6

Come Alive Whyte & Wilder $1125 ($1225)

Youth Group Leadership Training Nicholls & Raithby $260

may

7—10

Teens Alive I Nicholls & Raithby $645 ($705)

18—21

Eros & Intimacy, Sex & Spirit for Couples Dillon-Shaw & Dillon $555 ($615)

8—13

Come Alive Enright & Olynyk $1125 ($1225)

10—13

Teens Alive II Nicholls & Raithby $645 ($705)

11—14

Boundaries: The Vital Edge Nicholls $615 ($675)

13—16

Teens Alive III Nicholls & Raithby $645 ($705)

11—14

Dynamic Empathy Olynyk & Macklin $570 ($630)

14—20

Journey to Self Gomori $1320 ($1440)

12—14

Body, Self & Soul: Introduction to IBP Fewsters $420 ($460)

21—26

Come Alive Curtin & Holt $1125 ($1225)

26—31

Healing Stitches Holdgrafer & Huntington $890 ($990)

june 1—4 1—4 1–26 4—9 9—11 15–18

The Power of Direct Mirroring McNally & Huntington $615 ($675) New Horizons: Phase III with Mandarin Translation Olynyk & Macklin, with Dodge

Process Oriented Conflict Facilitation Reiss & Hatfield $720 ($780) Couples Alive I Clarke & Campbell $1950 ($2110) per couple

25—30

Come Alive Clarke & Campbell $1125 ($1225) Youth Leadership Training Goldbeck $435

july 4—9

Kids in the Spotlight Goldbeck $800 ($900)

6—9

Body, Breath & Beat 5Rhythms® Rothe $585 ($645)

10—15

Kids in the Spotlight Goldbeck $800 ($900)

13—16

Befriending Your Inner Critic Farrell $585 ($645)

16—21

Come Alive Chambers & Lee $1125 ($1225)

17—22

Kids in the Spotlight Goldbeck $800 ($900)

21—24

Addictions Lee & McNally $635 ($695)

23—28

Kids in the Spotlight Goldbeck $800 ($900)

27—30

Dynamic Dialogue McNally & Kilthei $615 ($675)

27—30

Yoga Immersion: Summer Price $595 ($655)

30—AUG 4

Kids in the Spotlight Goldbeck $800 ($900)

august 4—7 Act Natural Geesman & Lucht $615 ($675)

Living Alive Phase I McNally & Brown $3875 ($4375)

17—22

Come Alive LaCroix & Enright $1125 ($1225)

22—24

New Beginnings: Relationship Skills for Singles Jennifer Roger & Blair Stanley $540 ($580)

24—29

Spirit in the Song Eric Bibb $875 ($975)

october

Come Alive Nicholls $1125 ($1225) Body, Self & Soul: Introduction to IBP Fewsters $420 ($460)

Family Reconstruction Gomori $1320 ($1440) Come Alive Whyte & Wilder $1125 ($1225)

september 3—28

Anger Boundaries & Safety Gurel $625 ($685)

19—23 29—JUL 4

20—26 27—SEP 1

1—5 1—26

Couples Alive I Raithby & McCartney $1950 ($2110) per couple Living Alive Phase II Enright & Whyte $3875 ($4375)

5—8

Anger, Boundaries & Safety Gurel $625 ($685)

8—13

Come Alive Huntington & Holt $1125 ($1225)

13—15

Personal Parenting Goldbeck $430 ($470)

13—16

Yoga Immersion: Fall Price $595 ($655)

26—29

Career Revisioning Farrell $585 ($645)

28—29

Breathe Nicholls $325 ($345)

29—NOV 3

Come Alive Clarke & Campbell $1125 ($1225)

november 1—26

New Horizons: Phase III Olynyk & Macklin, with Dodge $3875 ($4375)

3—13

Awareness Through Creative Expression Farrell $1950 ($2150)

5—10

Sexual Intelligence Dillon-Shaw $1125 ($1225)

9—12

Understanding People Carr $635 ($695)

10—12

Moving into Connection Fallis $435 ($475)

12—16

Couples Alive II Clarke & Campbell $1950 ($2110) per couple

16—19

Stirring the Cauldron Dillon-Shaw $540 ($600)

16—19

Transforming Anxiety & Stress Raithby & Hilton $625 ($685)

17—19

Couples in Conflict Curtin & McNally $550 ($590)

the haven toolkits: One-day ‘on-the-road’ workshops on Communication and Relationships Coming to Vancouver, Campbell River and Haida Gwaii, with new venues to be announced.

Check haven.ca for updates!

Programs in 2017 See haven.ca for updates

Act Natural APR 13–16, AUG 4–7 Jane Geesman & Sarah Lucht Act Natural is a dynamic, deeply personal opportunity to expand your range of expression and reconnect with your sense of aliveness and creativity. The art and craft of the actor begins with selfknowledge and self-acceptance, both of which are vital when accessing inner resources with mindfulness and ease. This program provides myriad opportunities for self-discovery, enhanced presence, and deeper connection to your creative instincts.

The unique blend of actor-training techniques and Haven concepts offered in this program is applicable to a variety of vocations and lifestyles, and is particularly useful for people who lead, teach, facilitate groups, or engage in public speaking. Improvisation, scene work, breathing, and movement are used to explore deeper contact with others and a renewed sense of yourself.

This program is for you if you would like to:

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Enhance focus, presence, and confidence Connect to yourself and others with clarity and compassion Identify obstacles that block creativity and self-expression Tap into your inner resources in aid of communication, connection, and effective engagement Experience the fun of creative collaboration and storytelling

tuition: $615 ($675) + accommodation & meals.

Anger, Boundaries and Safety Standing forward to create the life you want MAR 16–19, JUN 1–4, OCT 5–8 Greg Gurel Few emotions are more feared than anger. While some use the fear associated with unsafe, unboundaried anger expression to control, others limit their lives by continually trying to avoid any hint of anger. With either approach, the emotional constriction, physical difficulties, and relationship dysfunction that result are life diminishing. Anger is a natural feeling that exists in all of us and when expressed in a safe, boundaried manner is passionate, life enhancing, and beneficial to relationships.

This program is highly useful for people who:

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Try to avoid confrontations and/or disagreements Have been told they are ‘an angry person’ Are holding anger and resentment for past events Feel repressed, depressed, or emotionally numb Want to get angry but are scared of what might happen

format: The program offers participants opportunities to both express and witness the expression of safe and boundaried anger. Created by the late Joann Peterson, the program follows a progression: uncovering participants’ beliefs about anger, a discussion about the origins of anger and its varied spectrum of expression, and finally a gradual exploration of participants’ own energetic patterns and opportunities to experience various tools for anger expression. tuition: $625 ($685) + accommodation & meals.

Addictions: A Wider Path in Recovery

Awareness through Creative Expression

JUL 21–24 Wen-Shwu Lee & Cathy McNally

NOV 3–13 Marlyn Farrell

In this program we integrate several elements, including AA 12-step and Haven models, to provide an expanded perspective and different choices in recovery from various types of addictive behaviours. In an integrated body-mind-spirit approach, we will offer:

What role does creativity play in your life? Do you long to express yourself creatively, but don’t know where to start? Do you want to experience the freedom of a mind at rest?

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Practical tools to deepen your existing growth steps Choices to live fully from a place of acceptance and selfmastery Paths to reach individual defined spiritual values and inner strength Concepts and tools of grounding and self-definition

This program is for people who:

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Have been engaged in some approach to recovery and are looking to widen and deepen their search and practice Are attached to non-substance objects or activities such as food, work, appearance, sex, or relationships, and interested in exploring different possibilities Have a hard time letting go, of either past memories or future ideals, and are interested in learning more about living in the present

Note: This program is not designed as clinical treatment, and is not for people who are still actively using drugs or alcohol. tuition: $635 ($695) + accommodation & meals.

Come join us to awaken your creativity, spirituality, and playfulness. Experience mind, body and emotional awareness through various forms of creative expression. Using process painting, clay, movement, masks, storytelling, writing, right and left brain insights, music and voice, you will have the opportunity to become intimate with your creative being and meet aspects of yourself you have never known before, in a fun and respectful environment. Discover an invaluable source of stress release and self awareness through creative and imaginative processes, and come to know yourself in a much deeper way.

In this program you will have the opportunity to:

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Learn proven techniques for balancing your brain hemispheres, releasing stress and finding answers within Experience awareness through creative expression Open the channel to your natural voice Develop listening and relating by staying in touch with deepest self while in response to others Uncover hidden artistic abilities Discover the playful spirit so essential to the creative process

tuition: $1950 ($2150) + accommodation & meals.

Befriending Your Inner Critic

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How to get out of your own way

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JUL 13–16 Marlyn Farrell Have you ever stopped yourself from doing or having what you truly want by telling yourself you aren’t good enough, smart enough, young enough, thin enough, talented enough, beautiful or handsome enough? In this program you will:

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Call out your hidden critic Establish a healthy distance between yourself and your critic Tell your critic what you need and want Transform your inner critic into an ally

format: Befriending Your Inner Critic uses music, visual arts, movement, guided meditation, laughter and story to help you build (and rebuild) relationship with your inner critic. Think of it like mediation, for you and your critic, or facilitating a creative meeting of the minds. For two weeks leading up to the program, carry a small notebook and pen with you. Capture the ‘stops’ in your day. Write down each time you hear negative self-talk and notice if you stop yourself from doing something. This is an exercise in building awareness, not judgment, so just notice. tuition: $585 ($645) + accommodation & meals.

Body, Breath & Beat: A 5Rhythms® Movement & Embodiment Workshop JUL 6–9 Bettina Rothe

Encounter core feelings, beliefs, memories and behaviour patterns as they are held in the body Increase the depth and range of their work with people Facilitate a shift from being ‘stuck’ to engaging life more fully Become more aware of and utilize ‘transformative moments’ Develop and use their own intuition, creativity and presence

format: Haven core faculty members Linda Nicholls and David Raithby demonstrate and encourage creative exploration of personal issues through a variety of energetic and expressive approaches. Supervised practice, group discussion, and personal work deepen the experience while feedback both as the ‘subject’ and as the ‘practitioner’ provides a rare opportunity for learning. tuition: $1175 ($1275) + accommodation & meals.

Body, Self and Soul An Introduction to Integrative Body Psychotherapy (IBP) MAY 12–14, JUN 9–11 Judith & Gerry Fewster IBP is a complete system that combines verbal work with breath and body wisdom for the systematic integration of body, mind, emotions and spirit. It is a gentle and powerful way of confronting one’s deepest patterns, which are located in the body and unconsciously control our lives. Real change comes with insight, but only when awareness permeates the entire being – body as well as mind. IBP emphasizes the importance of relationships and focuses upon awareness at all levels, resulting in profound lifeenhancing transformation.

The 5Rhythms® are a form of ecstatic dance, a workout for body and soul, a moving meditation and a spiritual practice. While the practice itself is simple, it has the power to catalyze deep healing and creative expression. It is designed to release the dancer in every body – regardless of age, condition or experience. Dancing the 5Rhythms® can be meditative, expressive, fun and transformative. In this program you will explore the mother language of your body, which is rhythm. The dance gives you an opportunity to dive deeply into your embodied self, connecting you to your essence and the magic of the present moment. This program is for you if you want to:

This program is intended for:

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Boundaries: The Vital Edge

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Find freedom in motion Experience states of heightened awareness and profound healing Learn tools to foster a creative and fulfilling life Quiet the rational mind and open the gateway to intuition

tuition: $585 ($645) + accommodation & meals.

Body, Breath and Energy Training An experiential program in bodywork and energy release JAN 15–20 Linda Nicholls & David Raithby This vibrant training program will allow you to explore personal issues while learning a variety of energetic and expressive approaches. You will not only gain a solid foundation in the concepts and techniques of Haven-style body and energy release work, but you will reap its benefits in your own life. Skillful integration of body, breath and energy work is a powerful personal and professional tool. This program is for people who want to:

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Anyone seeking more awareness and aliveness in their personal lives and relationships Professionals wishing to incorporate advanced somatic approaches into their practices. CE credits are available

This is a great way to experience the power, sophistication and elegance of the IBP system. For many people, it is the first step toward IBP professional training. tuition: $420 ($460) + accommodation & meals.

MAY 11–14 Linda Nicholls

Live in the present, passionately, proactively, and even playfully!

Clear, compassionate boundaries are the key to living in the present – passionately, proactively, and even playfully! A boundary is not a "thing" – instead, defining a personal boundary is an active process that is more accurately described as "boundary-ing." This is an awkward word to say – and often even more awkward to put into practice! And the rewards are well worth it. Discerning, expressing and dialoguing about personal boundaries will strengthen your ability to live more compassionately, to access creativity, energy and aliveness, and to enjoy greater intimacy and clarity in your personal and work relationships.

This program is for you if you want to:

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Know and express who you really are Experience greater intimacy in relationship Have more compassion for yourself and others

• • • •

Discover, speak, and stand behind your own thoughts, feelings and choices Be proactive and clear when creating new, healthy relationships, following past experiences of abuse or violence Free yourself from the experience of being trapped by roles, rules and obligations Gain a new perspective on allergies, chronic fatigue, depression and other symptoms

tuition: $615 ($675) + accommodation & meals.

Breathe!

JAN 7–8, OCT 28–29 Linda Nicholls Breathe! is a wonderful opportunity to acquaint yourself with the powerful benefits of consciously breathing deeply. Breathing is far more than the unconscious functioning of our autonomic nervous system which we usually take for granted. Breath has been referred to as the cord that ties the soul to the body. It is the integrating force for the multiple dimensions of our whole-person existence. When we work properly with our emotional body using breath, previously restricting issues fuel and fertilize new growth.

By learning to consciously breathe deeply, you can experience a wide range of benefits, including:

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Deep relaxation and improved sleep Reduction in stress, tension and pain Enlivened energy and sensory enrichment Enhanced presence and spontaneous creativity Activation of intention and purpose Heightened capacity for interpersonal relatedness Improved sleep

format: Linda Nicholls offers physiological information, guidelines, coaching, and practice with a variety of forms. Come to Breathe! and rediscover your amazing, embodied being.

Couples in Conflict MAR 24–26, NOV 17–19 Cathy McNally & Ian Curtin This program is for you if you want to

• • • •

Learn skills for dealing with anger and conflict Learn how to rebuild goodwill with each other Learn how to regard each other with dignity and respect Separate with your self-esteem intact

This weekend program is for couples who are having difficulty resolving conflicts. It may be the result of a lack of communication, an affair, extreme frustration, years of ‘all work and no play’, or the strain of blending two new families. Whatever the reason, you may be considering whether you want to be together, and how you can resolve differences and have the kind of relationship you want. In this program, you will not be told whether you ‘should’ stay together or not. Only you can make that decision. You will learn some valuable tools and develop greater insight and clarity about your relationship. format: Couples will work together as a pair in a small group setting with individualized attention. Each couple will receive a private counselling session to address their particular issues.

Various exercises help bring clarity to your relationship, including ‘homework’ to be done outside of session hours. tuition: $550 ($590) + accommodation & meals.

Deep Listening: Core Skills for Coaching Making space for people to learn MAR 16–19 Cathy Wilder & Jennifer Hilton

Career Revisioning

Listening deeply is about listening for what is essential, beyond what is being said or heard, and can enable impactful engagements and connection. Haven core faculty member Cathy Wilder and Jennifer Hilton teach a coaching form and process of deep listening and focused conversations. The results are richer engagement with others and the opening to possibilities that inspire transformation in self and other.

Discover your unique career path!

This program is for you if you wish to:

tuition: $325 ($345) + accommodation & meals

APR 6–9, OCT 26–29 Marlyn Farrell If you are ready for a career change but uncertain of your direction, this program is for you! Career Revisioning is an opportunity to step out on a career path with heart.

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Take stock of your life accomplishments, personal qualities, and transferable skills • Identify your values and passions • Determine whether your present career offers unexplored potential to express these values • Explore new or enhanced career directions • Investigate the steps required to bring your dreams to fruition format: Using a mix of creative and cognitive experiences, you will have the opportunity to gently examine your life work over the years and look at what works for you and what you want to change. This program is an invitation to experience the personal satisfaction of discovering your unique career path and beginning to live your dream. tuition: $585 ($645) + accommodation & meals.

• • • • • • •

Fire-up your communication approach to make the most of your interactions Inspire transformations and change possibilities into reality Learn how to listen with all your senses Deepen your capacity to be present and experience deeper engagement with others Create more contactful and meaningful relationships Help others without doing their work, and inspire them to work harder for you Learn more about who you are and how you are with others

format: In an experiential group setting, we explore through exercises, activities and discussion how we can bring body, mind, spirit and emotion into focused conversations with others. Supervised practice coaching facilitates the learning of energy/body/ mind-based techniques. Immediate feedback, group dialogue and personal work all support participants to integrate their learning. tuition: $625 ($685) + accommodation & meals.

Come Alive

Do you want more? Are you looking for something different?

Come Alive is an invitation to live your life to the full.

Created more than 30 years ago by The Haven’s founders Bennet Wong and Jock McKeen, Come Alive is an opportunity to revitalize your life, discover and activate your resources, and realize your full potential.

JAN 1–6

Linda Nicholls & David Raithby

JAN 22–27

Toby Macklin & Jane Olynyk

FEB 12–17

Linda Nicholls & David Raithby

MAR 5–10

Carole Ames & Graemme Brown

MAR 19–24

Ian Curtin & Wendy Huntington

APR 9–14

Toby Macklin & Cathy McNally

APR 30–MAY 5

Leslie Whyte & Cathy Wilder

MAY 21–26

Ian Curtin & Susa Holt

JUN 4–9

Linda Nicholls

JUN 25–30

Susan Clarke & CrisMarie Campbell

JUL 16–21

Wen-Shwu Lee & Al Chambers

AUG 8–13

Gillian Enright & Jane Olynyk

AUG 27–SEP 1

Leslie Whyte & Cathy Wilder

SEP 17–22

Gillian Enright & Derek LaCroix

OCT 8–13

Wendy Huntington & Susa Holt

OCT 29–NOV 3

Susan Clarke & CrisMarie Campbell

NOV 19–24

Carole Ames & Cathy McNally

Come Alive is for you if you want to:

• • • • • • •

Experience the juiciness of living life more fully Open to and express deeper dimensions of feeling in ways which enhance your life and relationships Gain valuable insights to strengthen your health and well-being Learn and practice a transformative paradigm for communicating Rediscover joy and meaning in life Expand your capacity for harmonious, loving and fulfilling relationships Impact your life both personally and professionally

format: Participants learn and practice the Haven models of communication, relationship and self-responsibility and are offered a range of opportunities for personal learning. Work is done in the group as a whole and in smaller groups in the evenings. In addition to group activities and discussions, each participant is offered a time for individual experience in large or small group sessions, including breath and body work, gestalt, psychodrama and other forms. Come Alive is led by gifted facilitators who have trained at The Haven and have many years’ experience in Come Alive and other programs.

“

Honestly, I liked everything … The program itself was life changing, the facilitators and assistants were warm and supportive. The food and accommodations supplied were good, and it was an all over great experience. k.m.

Where do I start? The grounds, the air, the people, the feeling I had when I arrived … it was like coming home. The leaders and interns were fantastic, the connections I made with others and most importantly with myself ... life changing.

Beauty everywhere. a.b.

I learned to embrace, accept, let go of grief I’ve held for 30 years. a.w.

When I returned home after the program I was approached by many people asking, “What was it like?” … My answer was, “You just have to do it to find out!” I have felt things I have not felt in my lifetime. I feel alive! l.j.

tuition: $1125 ($1225) + accommodation & meals.

“Don’t ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive and then go do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” howard thurman

Couples Alive couples alive i: foundation

Communication and Boundaries

FEB 24–28 Sandey McCartney & David Raithby JUN 19–23 CrisMarie Campbell & Susan Clarke OCT 1–5 Sandey McCartney & David Raithby The more we have at stake in a relationship, the more challenging communication becomes. Unaddressed misunderstandings, unspoken wishes, and recurring struggles can become the breeding ground for ‘score-keeping’, distancing, and resentments.

A mutual pathway to connection is fundamental for a dynamic, enduring primary relationship. This program begins with an indepth exploration of communication from a distinctly couples perspective. A variety of breathing and body-awareness experiences help build a foundation for connection and growth and couples then explores the ‘boundary-ing’ process — identifying and expressing wishes, wants and preferences — and examine the impact and possibilities of this self-definition for their relationship.

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Deepen intimacy Practice essential communication skills Bring greater understanding and clarity to daily conversations Distinguish between boundaries and walls, and value both Learn to identify and express preferences Find connection in the tension of disagreement

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Recognize and transform entrenched family rules and patterns

couples alive ii: edge

Igniting Passion and Aliveness NOV 12–16 CrisMarie Campbell & Susan Clarke When we first meet someone, and increasingly as the stakes go up, we do our best to be seen in a positive light. In these exciting, and often uneasy times we begin to establish the range of who and how we are in our relationship.

If we suppress ourselves to make our relationship work, we are likely to experience resentment, distance, distrust and anxiety.

Alternatively, each person’s fully acknowledged and expressed presence can become the foundation of a solid, loving relationship.

Through this process we begin to build the faith in ourselves and each other to relate at an edge of aliveness and discovery.

Passionate expression and healthy power struggle can help establish growth and acceptance – as individuals and as a couple. In this program couples work to identify and share personal characteristics, beliefs and behaviours, go beyond ‘good-bad’ judgments, and explore how these traits can be embraced to enhance relationship:

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Experience more energy, pleasure and edge Develop a healthy approach to power struggles Learn ways to create personal safety and location Learn to relate through risk, compassion and curiosity Broaden and deepen your range of intimacy

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The Couples Alive programs are for people in primary relationship who want more, and are prepared to go beyond the familiar to find it, in the safe and respectful company of other couples.

What can you expect from Couples Alive?

• A rich resource for continued learning • Sustainable, accessible skills you can put into action right away • Deepening personal awareness and wholeness through connection and enlivenment • A noticeable shift for the better in your relationship • To leave surprised, encouraged and motivated All programs are led by Haven faculty who are couples themselves.

Couples Alive I is a prerequisite for the remaining programs.

Check haven.ca or call our registrars for the next Couples Alive III: Day to Day tuition: $1950 ($2110) per couple per program. Discounts of $500 per program are available if you take more than one program in the same year. Bring another couple with you and receive $250 off for each couple.

My partner and I just completed your Couples Alive I program. By day 2 we both understood without a doubt that we had been living in a vicious circle of power struggle and retreat, only to return for another struggle. By the end of that day we recognized with relief that there was a way out.

By day 3 we were able to commit to working in that direction and in fact were actively practicing the tools we were being taught to achieve this. By day 4 we realized that we had laughed more in the last day than probably the whole last year. d.b & b.j.

Dynamic Dialogue

Eros & Intimacy, Sex & Spirit for Couples

Self-awareness in action

Daily Life as “For Play”

FEB 9–12 Cathy McNally & Jennifer Hilton

MAY 18–21 Elfi Dillon-Shaw & Gary Dillon

JUL 27–30 Cathy McNally & Jane Kilthei

This program offers couples new ways of igniting their erotic flame and supports them to remember each other in their physical wants and gifts.

Through dialogue people can come together in relationship, reach new understanding, and form a new basis from which to think and act – even when they have fundamentally different assumptions and deep investments.

In our lives today – at home, at work, in our communities and the world – the need for dialogue is important and urgent. The health and aliveness of all living beings and the planet depends on it.

This program delves deeply into The Haven’s Communication Model … and beyond.

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How do you feel when you imagine you’re heading into a conflict?

Do you sometimes rigidly take a position and completely miss the other?

When do you hesitate to speak … or act?

Are you unaware of the messages you are giving and their potential impact?

We will support you to look at your impact – and the impact you want to have – and coach you through bridging the gap in situations that matter to you. Let dynamic dialogue guide you where you are yearning to go. Join us. tuition: $615 ($675) + accommodation & meals.

Dynamic Empathy MAY 11–14 Toby Macklin & Jane Olynyk This program offers practical and challenging methods to become more empathic, curious and loving, at the same time as strengthening your own sense of self. Building on Bennet Wong and Jock McKeen’s Dynamic Empathy Model, Toby Macklin and Jane Olynyk guide you in a profound exploration of five aspects of human experience: Fusion, Objectification, Contact, Resonance, and Inclusion. You will have opportunities to:

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Explore the uses and abuses of objectification Learn to make close and personal contact with others Compassionately challenge your own blocks to empathy Recognize and develop your own empathic style and strengths Maintain your boundaries while actively including in your world the experience of others Challenge yourself to ‘walk in the shoes’ of people apparently very different to yourself

format: Within the framework of the Dynamic Empathy Model, the program utilizes a number of different approaches and includes music, meditation, movement and individual, partnered and group exercises.

The program will benefit couples who:

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Grieve the loss of erotic play or sex in their relationship Want to sustain and expand their connection Want to update their understanding of sexuality Want to open to the flow of life-giving energy Want to experience the benefits of erotic energy in their physical, mental and spiritual health

format: Elfi Dillon-Shaw and her husband Gary Dillon present experiential exercises using breath, voice, movement, sensuous touch and loving-presence meditations from the wisdom teachings of Tantra and Taoism, along with ideas rooted in the revolutionary edges of modern biological and physical science. tuition: $555 ($615) per person + accommodation & meals.

Family Reconstruction

A process of transformation developed by Virginia Satir AUG 20–26 Maria Gomori The objective of the three-generational Family Reconstruction process developed by Virginia Satir is to revisit one’s family roots and to meet with and understand our parents (or major childhood caregivers) as people, instead of seeing them only in their stereotyped roles. It is a powerful psychodynamic process that provides an opportunity to update the past and reduce the negative impact of early experiences and learnings. Letting go of what is no longer useful provides the freedom to make new choices and access deeper recognition and acceptance of your self and others.

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Discover your parents as real people Appreciate and connect with your family roots Update the past and reduce the negative impact of earlier experiences Let go or transform learnings that are no longer useful for you Clarify distorted or limited perceptions and deal with unmet expectations Move beyond survival pain towards active growth Access inner resources and become your own choice-maker

format: Satir processes incorporate psychodrama, gestalt, guided imagery, sculpting communication stances, and methods of accessing the unconscious. Work is done in group and in triads.

The Journey to Self is a prerequisite for this program. tuition: $1320 ($1440) + accommodation & meals.

tuition: $570 ($630) + accommodation & meals.

the full range of your body, mind, creativity, spirituality, emotions and sexuality.

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At The Haven we invite you to breathe and integrate the wisdom of your whole self, by exploring

tuition: $655 ($715) + accommodation & meals.

Five Element Practicum: An Oriental Philosophical Approach to Energy MAR 30–APR 2 Jane Olynyk Oriental Medicine Philosophy, particularly Five Element Theory, is a rich and truly holistic model of viewing ourselves, our world and our processes of change and stuckness.

Its vivid imagery, born out of Taoism, has a very broad scope, applicable in our daily lives, far beyond the obvious 'treatment' aspect. This program focuses on the emotional, mental and spiritual aspects or the tradition, offering a grounding in how to use the model as an alternative to other psychological models of change/development. We will focus on our relationship with ourselves and the nature of harmony and disharmony within us, recognizing the crucial component of contact with others in any change/healing process. We will review how to assess disharmony, including pulse taking, and work with acupuncture points to facilitate Qi movement.

New Horizons: Phase III or some prior knowledge of Chinese Medicine is required. tuition: $545 ($605) + accommodation & meals.

Grieving: Change and Growth

Group Leadership APR 27–30 Cathy McNally & Cathy Wilder

Learn to work effectively with others in group process This program includes presentations and discussion, as well as demonstration and practice. Participants are encouraged to look at their own experience to develop understanding of working successfully with others in group settings. The group formed by participants in the program itself provides a valuable learning ground of group process.

Participants will:

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Increase their discernment in group situations Recognize when to use various methods of work with the group Learn how to use counter-transference clues to understand events in group Learn at least one intervention that is helpful for each group situation examined Increase their leadership competence

Group Leadership is one in a series of skills programs originally developed for The Haven by Gwen Ewan and Wayne Dodge. tuition: $615 ($675) + accommodation & meals.

Growing through loss and separation

Healing Stitches

FEB 2–5, NOV 24–27 Linda Nicholls

How your art imitates your life

In this program, participants will learn to grieve fully and responsively. Life involves ongoing experiences of attachment and separation, situations of helplessness and disappointment. We face separations and losses through relationships ending, deaths, aging, career changes and geographical moves, children growing up and leaving home, fading dreams or the interruption of life by illness, injury or trauma. Issues broader than our personal lives, such as our environment and the state of our world may be fueling our grief. In facing planned or unpredicted transitions, or issues seemingly beyond our control we must leave something behind.

MAY 26–31 Mary Holdgrafer & Wendy Huntington

This program is for people who are experiencing loss related to:

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Relationships – separation, divorce, death Body and Life transitions – illness, surgery, abortion, aging Change – career change, relocation, financial status Global concern – environment, poverty, war

format: Using a range of experiential forms, including the creative use of ceremony, participants will have opportunities to learn about the grieving process, express their feelings, grieve fully, and develop a map toward deepening inner strength and wholeness.

WE ARE ALL CREATIVE! Our creativity is life enhancing and provides pleasure, joy and relaxation in our daily lives. In this program you will use personal awareness as a means of discovering and advancing your creativity. You will explore the full range of your creative process, examine fears about skills and abilities, and develop an appreciation for your innate creativity. You will gain a new awareness of your creative self!

This program is for you if you would like to:

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Challenge beliefs about personal creativity Discover your untapped creativity and passion Deepen your satisfaction with creative activities Deal with anxieties about trying new things Experience joy and playfulness Find a spiritual connection

format: Through experiential learning and presentations Healing Stitches provides rich opportunities for personal growth and exploration. In an atmosphere of safety we use design, collage, journaling, movement and guided imagery to release blocked creative energy. This popular program has been running at The Haven for over a decade.

We are relational beings inside and out, relating to ourselves as well as to others.

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tuition: $890 ($990) + accommodation & meals.

Inner Wisdom for Women Arouse your feminine creativity!

MAR 16–19 Marlyn Farrell Build a relationship with your best life guide — your self! This program is an opportunity to explore your own intuition and experience the wise and gentle nudging of your inner being. The program uses music, visual arts, movement, guided meditation, laughter and story to help women build (and rebuild) relationship with their inner nudge or intuition.

This program is for women who want to:

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Move through a transition Trust themselves to create new possibilities Reconnect with a lost part of themselves Build confidence in their ability to care for themselves and be with others Practice present moment awareness Cultivate intuition, wisdom and faith Deeply enjoy themselves and the women around them

format: Arrive the first evening with nine objects that have emotional value for you and represent the female / feminine — things that remind you of the woman you are, the woman you want to be, or women in your life that you respect. This is a beautiful way of getting to know each other and facilitates a gentle process of self-discovery. The next two days are filled with mask-making, dance, writing and more. The activities shine a light on the inner you, allowing you time to see, admire, ask questions and process the answers with creative and cognitive awareness. tuition: $585 ($645) + accommodation & meals.

The Journey to Self An exploration of self and family using the Satir Method AUG 14–20 Maria Gomori Virginia Satir created a number of healing and integrating processes to help make sense of ourselves and each other. Her objectives were growth and congruent communication, helping individuals to become ‘more fully human’. This involves appreciating our past and the resources we developed as we grew up in our family of origin. Satir processes allow us to give full expression to the resources we wish to utilize, and to let go of or transform learnings that are no longer useful to us.

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Gain clarity about your identity, autonomy and boundaries Gain deeper recognition and acceptance of yourself and others Let go of learnings that no longer fit Take risks in exploring new ways of living Experience the freer flow of your life energies Learn self-responsibility and achieve your highest potential

format: Satir processes incorporate psychodrama, gestalt, guided imagery, sculpting communication stances, and methods of accessing the unconscious. tuition: $1320 ($1440) + accommodation & meals.

Kids in The Spotlight (KITS) MAR 20–25, JUL 4–9, JUL 10–15, JUL 17–22, JUL 23–28, JUL 30–AUG 4 Denise Goldbeck 2017 Summer sessions are now waiting list only. Spaces are available in the Spring break program – register now!

In this extremely popular program, children learn about themselves and each other while working together on a creative musical production. Participants leave with a better sense of self, gained by seeing where they fit into the developmental spectrum; a mind well exercised after exploring their creativity and learning to cooperate; and strong connections to other participants and leaders of the program.

Children and youth learn:

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Self understanding Mutual cooperation and respect Social understanding Leadership skills How to support others How to contribute to the success of the group

In complementary sessions, caregivers learn about:

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Child development (in their own lives and their children’s) The developmental aspects of the program

format: The program combines a variety of group exercises, activities and discussions. Use is made of theatre, music, dance, drama, and stage creation to facilitate group cooperation and learning. Older children support younger children in dances, songs, and dramatic scenes. Youth Interns assist with the program and act as role models for younger participants. Children stay at The Haven with a parent or guardian. tuition: $800 ($900) + accommodation & meals.

Life after Separation APR 7–9 Jennifer Roger & Blair Stanley When a primary relationship ends, we often find ourselves lost, scared and overwhelmed. Many aspects of our lives are thrown into turmoil, and it is hard to move forward. Yet this is also a time of tremendous potential and learning, where we have a chance to define ourselves in ways that more truly reflect who we are.

This program is for you if:

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You have been impacted by a relationship breakup You find yourself unable to move beyond anger or pain You want to learn more about what went wrong in your relationship so you won’t repeat the same mistakes You want to understand some basic principles of good relationships and how to apply them for the future You have felt isolated in your separation process and want to meet others going through similar issues

format: We will look at moving through the separation process through experiental exercises, internal exploration and group process. tuition: $540 ($580) + accommodation & meals.

Living Alive Phase I & II … live

The 25-day Living Alive Phase programs offer you a chance to investigate who you really are and how you live your life. In a supportive and respectful

while

you’re

environment, you will be offered experiences designed to heighten your awareness of your physical, intellectual, emotional and spiritual self. The understanding you gain in these programs will enable you to make more informed decisions about yourself, your life and your relationships, and to live your life more fully.

alive

The Living Alive Phase programs are for people who:

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Want a deeper understanding of themselves Want to enrich the sources of meaning in their lives Feel stuck in old patterns of behaviour that are destructive or no longer useful Are at a point of change Want to engage more fully in their lives

Living Alive Phases I and II are two parts of a whole, and are normally taken in sequence. We recommend taking each 25-day program at one time whenever possible. They can also be taken in two parts, Part A and Part B. Part A must be taken before Part B.

Living Alive Phase I APR 17–MAY 12

Susan Clarke & Carole Ames Part A APR 17–29, Part B APR 30–MAY 12

SEP 3–28

Cathy McNally & Graemme Brown Part A SEP 3–15, Part B SEP 16–28

Living Alive Phase I focuses on participants becoming aware of their patterns of behaviour and energy. Insights and skills are developed to help participants transform the patterns they wish to, and release blockages in their energy. During this program, you will have opportunities to:

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Know yourself and your patterns of behaviour more fully Discover your own personal resources Improve your communication skills Make your fantasies and imagination work for you Embrace the hidden aspects of who you are Work in a group to learn new information about yourself Incorporate increased self-awareness, interpersonal skills and insights into your daily life

format: This program offers a wide range of experiences, in addition to presentations and discussion, in a safe and respectful environment. Participants work in large group and in smaller groups, and also have the opportunity for individual appointments with the program leaders. tuition: $3875 ($4375) Part A or B $2400 ($2640) + accommodation & meals.

Living Alive Phase II An exploration of self and other OCT 1–26 Gillian Enright & Leslie Whyte Part A OCT 1–13, Part B OCT 14–26 Relationships (participants may invite a guest) OCT 14–17 Living Alive Phase II focuses on how we see ourselves, how other people see us, and the ways we establish and maintain our relationships. The program is designed to give you a deep experience of yourself as you interact with others, whether in close and intimate encounters or more casual ones.

During this program, you will have opportunities to:

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Discuss relationship issues such as commitment, dependence and independence, jealousy, vulnerability and defensiveness, security and self-discovery Invite a partner to enroll in the three-day Relationships section of the program (see haven.ca for description), or work with a partner from the Phase group Examine your relationship to gender, sexuality, sensuality, intimacy, spirituality, and personal strength See yourself as others see you and try out new ways of presenting yourself, using video and group feedback

format: This program involves extensive work in the large group, including time for self reflection, and work with partners, plus regular evening small-group sessions. A wide range of activities is offered in a safe and respectful environment where personal choice is always respected. Participants also have the opportunity for individual appointments with the program leaders. tuition: $3875 ($4375) Part A or B $2400 ($2640) + accommodation & meals.

… and New Horizons: Phase III

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I am far more self aware and curious about who I am, why I feel what I feel and do what I do, and what I want. Thank you for the most meaningful experience in my life. It truly prompted me, inspired me, and provided me the tools I need to transform my life. g.k., living alive phase i

My life has been completely changed by this program, for I have learned to live with presence and joy as I truly am.

New Horizons: Phase III NOV 1–26 Jane Olynyk & Toby Macklin, with Wayne Dodge Part A NOV 1–13, Part B NOV 14–26 This program is the integrative, conceptual complement to Living Alive Phases I and II. It examines the theoretical and historical underpinnings of The Haven's style of work with people, drawing on both Eastern and Western psychology and thought. You will explore the many concepts by which each person is defined and defines themself. Through understanding these ideas, and identifying and questioning your own assumptions, you can broaden the options available to you in how you live your life. The program is for people wanting to further their personal growth and for health professionals, teachers and other “people helpers” wanting to broaden and deepen their understanding and skills.

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r.c., living alive phase i

I can take responsibility for my own life despite whatever happened in the past ... I have choice.

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j.w., living alive phase i

I can have meaningful, alive relationships without denying or disconnecting from what is true in my mind, body, heart. I can be transparent and open about my reality, and thus open the bridge to knowing another. This is the kind of stuff my dreams are made of. r.g., living alive phase ii

There is a wonderful magic surrounding The Haven and this Phase II was a truly magical experience. f.b., living alive phase ii Coming face-to-face with myself and others in this very personal and experiential way was both challenging and deeply rewarding.

New Horizons: Phase III with Mandarin Translation

《新視野：階段三》 提供中文翻譯

JUN 1–26 Jane Olynyk & Toby Macklin,

with Wayne Dodge

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format: The program consists of presentation and discussion sessions, skill practice, smaller group time plus some reading and films. Learning is both conceptual and experiential. Although a reading list is provided, each person will decide how much or how little to read. Although it is highly recommended to take this program following the Living Alive Phases, it can be taken at any time, bearing in mind individual needs, requirements and capabilities.

We recommend taking this program at one time whenever possible. It can also be taken in two parts, Part A and Part B. Part A must be taken before Part B. tuition: $3875 ($4375) Part A or B $2400 ($2640) + accommodation & meals.

此課程是針對「活出生命的階段系列」《階段 一》和《階段二》作整合性、概念性的補充。檢 視海文與人群工作方式的理論架構和歷史基礎， 立基於東西方心理學及哲學思想。在課程中將會 探索許多概念，了解每個人是如何界定這些概念， 也賦予自己的定義。透過對這些概念的了解，辨 識出自己的假設、進而質疑自己的假設，你可以 擴張生命在你面前所展示的可能選項。此課程適

合對象為：想進一步自我成長者，從事身心健康 照顧之專業人士，教師，以及想拓展和深化其理 論與技巧之「助人工作者」。 欲知課程詳情，請以電郵與余珍聯絡

472937804@qq.com

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j.h., new horizons: phase iii

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Traditional Chinese Medicine. The philosophy of acupuncture and Traditional Chinese Medicine is very different from Western thought. It offers a different perspective for the application of healing practices to one’s self and to others.

The Body and its Energy. An in-depth presentation of the theory and practice of various body-oriented therapies introduces participants to concepts and experiences of energy blockage and release. The implications for illness and health will be addressed.

Methods for Change. A variety of techniques will be presented and practiced, such as gestalt, group dynamics, psychodrama, bioenergetics, bodywork and communication skills. This will be useful both to those who work with people as helpers and in participants’ own growth process.

Lively Discussions. Readings, presentations and experiences will provide material for discussions in which participants can use one another as “sounding boards” to help clarify and share their ideas and assumptions about life.

Living NVC: 7-Day Immersion in Nonviolent Communication A deep immersion into compassionate and powerful principles and practice APR 21–28 Mitch Miyagawa & Angela Walkley This week-long program is designed to support the ongoing development and integration of Nonviolent Communication (NVC) into every aspect of life. You will have an opportunity to practice NVC with guidance, compassion, and support, whether your aim is to broaden awareness in your personal life, teach the process to others, impact positive social change in the world ... or all of these.

During this intensive week, you will:

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Find greater inner freedom as you bridge between the outer dimension – the pain and chaos of our human conditioning – and the inner dimension – the true authentic self Grow “power-with” vs. “power-over” by looking deeply into personal and social sources for choice and courage in your life Increase awareness of your own inner chatter – projections, moralistic judgments, right/wrong thinking, blame, criticism – and learn to embrace it honestly and with compassion Discover core beliefs that restrict your day-to-day life, and use this awareness to understand your deepest yearnings Work through apparently “conflicting” needs to align your choices with authenticity and with full commitment to life Enhance your “empathy power” as you learn to really listen to others, whether or not you agree with their choices in life Express yourself naturally, authentically, and compassionately

program prerequisite: We ask that you read Dr. Marshall Rosenberg’s Nonviolent Communication, A Language of Life and prefer that you have introductory level training in NVC. tuition: $1230 ($1370) + accommodation and meals.

Moving into Connection Exploring attachment through Authentic Movement NOV 10–12 Catherine Fallis This program is for people who:

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Are interested in learning more about attachment patterns Enjoy exploring movement as a vehicle for personal growth Wish to gain insight into their significant relationships Are in the helping professions, working with individuals, couples, families, and work teams

The nature of our early attachment, or emotional bonding, to our primary caregivers creates a blueprint for our ability to connect to others throughout our lives. Current research indicates that when we become aware of our attachment issues, we can improve our ability to negotiate the challenges of close relationships.

Authentic Movement explores the relationship between a person moving with eyes closed, and a person witnessing that movement with eyes open. This form allows participants to engage directly in the experience of being seen and seeing. The experience of being seen is fundamental to healthy attachment, and therefore

Authentic Movement readily lends itself to the exploration and repair of attachment issues. format: This program is primarily experiential, but includes a theoretical component. Drawing on the work of Daniel Siegel, Diane Poole Heller, and Sue Johnson, participants will have the opportunity to identify their own attachment pattern. Using the Authentic Movement form, we will work in dyads and as a group to explore and integrate our experiences and insights.

No previous movement experience is necessary. tuition: $435 ($475) + accommodation & meals.

New Beginnings: Relationship Skills for Singles SEP 22–24 Jennifer Roger & Blair Stanley This program is for individuals who want to learn more about how to create a positive relationship in the future or improve a current relationship. This program is for you if:

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You want to learn what makes a good relationship work You have had a pattern in the past of unhappy relationships You tend to engage repeatedly in the same behaviours You want to understand more about your current relationship

format: The program includes talks about the principles of good relating, exercises on past relationships to gain understanding of what went wrong, as well as strategies and techniques to improve your connections in the future. You will come away from this program with a deeper understanding of how to relate and with useable skills to apply in relationships. $540 ($580) + accommodation & meals.

New Year’s at The Haven DEC 28–JAN 1 2018 TBA Each year in New Year’s at The Haven participants will creatively review and reflect on life, and be invited to explore and stretch further through a featured focus – varied annually and with different leaders. Check haven.ca for more information on this year's program. tuition: $495 ($555) + accommodation & meals

Personal Parenting OCT 13–15 Denise Goldbeck This program is for parents, grandparents and caregivers who want to explore and improve their relationships with their children. This process will have a positive impact on their children’s growth, their own sense of self, and their connections with partners and other significant adults. The emphasis is on developing personal, empathetic relationships amongst adults and children.

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Learn to adapt the Haven Communication Model for children at different stages of development Express deep feelings around parenting and learn to incorporate responsible expression into your daily life Develop compassion for yourself as a parent

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Explore how your own childhood impacts your parenting Create in your adult relationships a healthy environment for your own growth and that of your children

format: The program will include ideas drawn from developmental psychology and time for group processing and questions. There will be opportunities to practice communication and to explore and express feelings through breath, movement and other experiential forms. Come with your parenting partners if you can. tuition: $430 ($470) + accommodation & meals.

The Power of Direct Mirroring Developing honest, nurturing relationships at home and work JUN 1–4 Cathy McNally & Wendy Huntington In this program, you will learn about and practice direct mirroring, a style of feedback that nurtures honest, intimate relationships.

Early in life, we adopt messages from others as the ‘truth’ about ourselves. If these remain unexamined, they can shape our lives in unhealthy ways. A deeper understanding of this process is beneficial in relating, parenting, health, making congruent decisions, managing employees, and working with colleagues and team members.

This program is for you if you want to:

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Unhook from depending on others for self-definition Be less defensive and reactive in significant relationships Explore and reduce habitual self-hatred and self-doubt Form your own opinions rather than abandon yourself to those of others Increase your flexibility and creativity Improve health and wellbeing for yourself and others Express your inner experiences more clearly in relationships

This program is an opportunity to reflect on the ways we limit our full expression and creativity and assess the ‘fit’ of our preconceived beliefs about self-esteem, body and self-image.

Through a range of experiences, participants will exercise their capacity to update messages that no longer fit, and practice direct mirroring. tuition: $615 ($675) + accommodation & meals.

Process Oriented Conflict Facilitation Sitting in the fire with a cool head JUN 15–18 Gary Reiss & David Hatfield Conflict is everywhere – in our bodies, our relationships, at work, in our organizations, and in our world. Without facilitation conflict can become chronic, painful and destructive. We need to learn to sit in the fire of conflict without avoiding it, and have a cool enough head to be facilitative with ourselves and with others. This program offers training and practice in working with conflict using Process oriented methods and first and second training methods.

The program will focus on:

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Basic conflict work methods: my side, your side, nobody’s side Second training methods: dancing with conflict Building relationship and community through conflict Rank, power and conflict Working with extreme conflict and heat Dealing with internal conflict Developing our eldership as facilitators Conflict in relationships, groups, and organizations Four-phase work and conflict

This program is for students, therapists, organization members, facilitators, business and political leaders, and anyone who would like to have a better relationship with conflict in their lives. tuition: $720 ($780) + accommodation & meals.

Projection & Transference FEB 16–19 Graemme Brown & Cathy McNally This program is an opportunity to directly explore the processes of projection and transference, in the service of others and yourself. The extent to which we see our preconceptions in another person, is the extent to which we fail to make direct contact with that person. As we project our own needs, desires, assumptions and processes onto others around us, we miss the person themselves. This projection underlies transference, counter transference, prejudice and contempt. By exploring these processes we can find ways to understand and work with them in the service of respectful, equal, contactful relationship. These are issues of great value for anyone intending to lead groups, supervise staff, or work in the helping professions.

This program is for you if you want to::

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Increase your awareness of their own process Learn how to use counter-transference clues to understand interactions Consider how and why transference can be helpful and learn methods to increase or decrease it Learn appropriate and ethical approaches to transference Be able to recognize different types of transference Increase your leadership competence

You will be encouraged to look at your own experience to develop your ability to make contact with others in both your personal and work relationships.

This is one in a series of skills programs originally developed for The Haven by Gwen Ewan and Wayne Dodge. tuition: $615 ($675) + accommodation & meals.

This program imparts the knowledge, develops the skills and cultivates the awareness needed to grasp the overall character traits of an individual. This is done by viewing the body through the lenses of the chakra system, Bioenergetics and developmental psychology. This method is based on the work of international teacher and award winning author, Anodea Judith, whose book Eastern Body, Western Mind is recommended pre-program reading.

Sexual Intelligence for Body, Mind & Heart

You can expect to learn:

APR 2–7, NOV 5–10 Elfi Dillon-Shaw

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This is a dynamic program in The Haven’s core curriculum that teaches erotic literacy for body, mind and heart through surrendering to the ocean of erotic energy within.

Psychology of the Chakras An accelerated path to developing and deepening personal and professional relationships APR 21–24 Brad Cassidy

• • • • •

The basics of the chakra system and Bioenergetics The fundamentals of body energy dynamics and character structure How to read and interpret the physical manifestation of the body energy system, including blocks, splits, chronic holding and more The fundamentals of the chakra system as it relates to early development, life-long individuation and present behaviour A detailed investigation of each chakra and the character structure usually associated with it The ability to synthesize the knowledge gained in this program to better understand, empathize, and connect, with others An understanding of one’s own chakra balance and character structure through a guided self-analysis of the body energy system

tuition: $525 ($585) + accommodation & meals.

Self-Compassion: Making Friends with Your Self NOV 24–27 Graemme Brown & Jo-Ann Kevala The joy and good humour of self-compassion stand in contrast with the harshness of self-hate. This program explores both ends of this polarity. It will benefit anyone who has tried to be the person they ‘should’ be and, in the process, lost touch with the person within. The program offers an expansion and exploration of the Haven Selves Model that is presented in Come Alive. However, you do not have to have done Come Alive to learn from this program.

• •

Do you experience anxiety, heartache, confusion or apathy connected with sexuality and relationships?

Do you want to learn erotic skills for arousal and orgasmic states as well as clarity, communication and connection?

The program demonstrates how we can steer our sexuality with erotic honesty in community and in our partnerships. It is for people of all genders and orientations who would like to:

• • • • • • •

Address and reduce sexually related anxiety, guilt and shame Learn diverse perspectives on sexuality throughout the lifeand relationship-cycle Learn erotic skills to enrich their life Make more conscious and healthful sexual choices Learn about the power aspects of sexuality and discover how to have fun in a safe way Find eros in the natural world Discover where spirituality and sexuality meet

format: In an atmosphere of consent and confidentiality, we will strengthen our vitality through breath work, movement, listening, reflection and sharing. We will explore ancient tantric and taoist wisdom, as well as modern sexology and sexual health sciences.

This program is for everybody. It is not designed specifically for couples, although couples are certainly welcome to attend. tuition: $1125 ($1225) + accommodation & meals.

This program is for you if you:

• • • • • •

Recognize self-harming patterns in your health or relationships Have found outward success but inner emptiness Experience destructive addictive tendencies Experience self-hate Care for others, but not yourself Want to become your own best friend

format: Using music, guided imagery, gestalt, art, stories and other experiential forms, you will have an opportunity to learn about the paths that lead you away from yourself, and explore paths that can direct you towards self-acceptance. We will explore blame and victimhood, patterns of striving that lead to self-hate, and a variety of ways we can move toward self-compassion. tuition: $615 ($675) + accommodation & meals.

I loved how Elfi beautified the space, and made everything she offered sacred in some way. I loved the quantity and variety of movement, breathing, exercises and being with others. I left feeling incredibly embodied and alive! J.H. Elfi was masterful in sharing her wisdom and experiences pertaining to sexuality and life in general. I loved her ultimate respect for each person’s boundaries and experience. K.S.

Spirit in the Song SEP 24–29 Eric Bibb Writing songs is an exciting way to update our connection to ourselves and the people around us. Spirit in the Song is a creative program designed to explore the liberating process of following an inspired idea on an inner journey to the birth of a new song.

Led by well-known singer/songwriter/guitarist Eric Bibb, a long time friend of The Haven, this program offers an opportunity to meet new friends and share the joy of finding ‘the spirit in the song’ together. The program includes an opportunity to perform on stage with Eric Bibb and others. format: A piano or keyboard will be available. Please also bring your portable instruments. Experienced songwriters and newcomers welcome! tuition: $875 ($975) + accommodation & meals.

Stirring the Cauldron An erotic retreat for women MAR 2–5, NOV 16–19 Elfi Dillon-Shaw This weekend program is for women of every age and lifestyle who want to taste the full energetic potential of their erotic body.

Sexual energy flowing through the body allows for a more fulfilling erotic life, whether we are in relationship or not. The purpose of arousing this energy is to strengthen our Chi — life energy — for healing purposes, erotic autonomy, and just plain fun!

• •

In celebration together we will support each other to let go of old ways of living in our body Through exercises from the tantric and taoist traditions, we will experience the flow of sexual energy

format: In an atmosphere of consensuality and confidentiality, women will have the opportunity to experience themselves as sacred sexual beings. Knowing that erotic exploration can be fraught with barriers of shame, tension and anxiety, we respect these as each woman’s individual space is honoured. tuition: $540 ($600) + accommodation & meals.

Teens Alive I, II & III Develop a strong sense of ‘self’ Teens Alive I AUG 7–10; Teens Alive II AUG 10–13 Teens Alive III AUG 13–16 Linda Nicholls & David Raithby Teens Alive has been offered at The Haven for more than 20 years and is an extremely popular program, with many teens returning year after year. Teens have an important opportunity to develop a stronger sense of ‘self’. If you can learn to communicate clearly from this place of strength, you can improve and deepen friendships and relationships and learn to be emotionally self-supporting rather than dependent on family and others. Teens Alive is designed to encourage you in this process.

• • • • •

format: Teens Alive is divided into three parts, which run back to back and build one on another. Participants can attend one, two, or all three parts; they can be done all in one year, or over two or more years. The only requirement is that they be done in order.

Teens will stay at The Haven with a parent or guardian. Teens Alive III is intended for teens age 16 and older. tuition: $645 ($705) per program + accommodation & meals.

The Haven Toolkits Campell River FEB 4 & 5 Haida Gwaii MAR 18 & 19 Vancouver APR 8 & 9 and other locations TBA These very affordable, one-day workshops will give you, your friends and your families effective tools to communicate better and strengthen your relationships. They are also a great introduction to The Haven, offering a very substantial taste of what to expect in core Haven programs.

Each weekend comprises two one-day workshops:

• •

The Haven Communication Toolkit Building Clarity and Connection The Haven Relationship Toolkit Deepening Connection

*cost: $30 per person per day If you are new to The Haven or bringing someone new. Otherwise $50 per day.

Transforming Anxiety & Stress Transform: to make a thorough, dramatic change in your energy MAR 2–5, NOV 16–19 David Raithby & Jennifer Hilton This program focuses on understanding, harnessing and transforming difficult life energies to foster courageous and productive living.

Most people do not recognize their anxiety for what it is, and instead think there is something ‘wrong’ with them and then use a variety of self-defeating and stress-inducing behaviours in an attempt to manage their lives. Some people are preoccupied with the physical symptoms of anxiety and stress, which can be distressing and sometimes debilitating. Others think they are weak, don’t belong in social situations, or are even going crazy.

This program offers the possibility of transformation and opening more fully to all that living has to offer.

Teens Alive is for people from 14 to 19 who want to:

•

• • •

• •

Be comfortable speaking their truth in a responsible way Develop stronger self-esteem and self-acceptance Be less defensive and more outgoing

Make relationships work Deal with conflict Discuss topics such as vocation, school, sex, music, violence, drugs, parents, family, authorities Have fun and get to know other teens Enjoy The Haven’s beautiful surroundings and facilities

Discover the roots of anxiety, stress and fear and how they manifest in your daily life Become aware of and recognize these energies at a body level Gain valuable insight into your coping patterns and expand beyond these limitations

• • •

Experience making moment-to-moment choices that embrace the full depth and range of your feelings and experience Learn guidelines for moving from fear, anxiety and stress to courage, self-acceptance & compassion Bring renewed energy and a sense of aliveness to your personal life, work and relationships

Yoga Immersion: Winter Embodying Vitality, Clarity and Creative Power JAN 6–8 Kelly Price

Yoga Immersion: Spring Embodying Vitality, Clarity & Creative Power

This is a highly effective program for anyone struggling with anxiety and stress, individuals in social service and health care professions, teachers, parents, managers/leaders and anyone working with people who struggle with anxiety and stress.

Yoga Immersion: Summer

tuition: $625 ($685) + accommodation & meals.

Embodying Joy, Connection & Freedom

Understanding People NOV 9–12 Geoffrey Carr Why do people say and do the things they do? This program emphasizes the importance of trying to understand others from an empathic, compassionate stance based on each person’s history and experience. Participants will learn to make sense of people’s experience and behaviour, including others they find frustrating and difficult. We will also examine what is going on for people who receive different psychiatric diagnoses (DSM-5). Participants will gain perspective on the overarching issues and pitfalls of trying to categorize people into types or diagnoses.

The program’s main themes are:

• • • • •

Learning to make sense of people’s experience and behaviour Exploration of underlying reasons and meaning for “symptoms” The central role of intrusive feelings, and avoidance of them, in people’s difficulties Introduction to psychiatric diagnosis (DSM-5 & ICD-10-CM) Deeper exploration of specific diagnoses of interest to participants

format: This program is open to anyone who wants to develop a deeper understanding of themselves and others, and is particularly suited to helping professionals, including Haven interns.

Instruction, interaction, and experiential work are included. tuition: $635 ($695) + accommodation & meals.

The Haven Unplugged MAR 26–30 Haven Unplugged is an opportunity to give back to The Haven by volunteering your time and skills for special projects around the property. We can offer all kinds of work according to skills, interest and ability. Please let us know when you register if there is any kind of work you are not able to do and what skills and interests you have. There will be evening group sessions facilitated by Haven faculty members or assistants. cost: We offer shared accommodation, meals and facilitated evening sessions at a special rate of $40 per night, a total of $160 for the whole Unplugged. If you do not need accommodation, the cost is reduced to $100.

MAR 30–APR 2 Kelly Price

JUL 27–30 Kelly Price

Yoga Immersion: Fall Embodying Stability, Integrity & Inspiration OCT 13–16 Kelly Price Drawing on the wisdom of Tantra, Hatha Yoga and Ayurveda these seasonal yoga programs explore the connection between our body-mind and nature; and offer powerful practices for attuning ourselves to the energies of the seasons.

Each program will focus on seasonal asana, breath work, meditation, embodied self-awareness and self-compassion, and insights into seasonal cleansing/nutrition. Programs can be taken individually, or as an integrated series.

Yoga Immersion: Winter is for people who want to:

• • • •

Build physical and psychological resilience Deeply restore and rejuvenate their body-mind Cultivate stillness, insight and inspiration Ignite their intentions for the new year

Yoga Immersion: Spring is for people who want to:

• • • •

Increase vitality and improve metabolism Gain clarity and connect to true desires Break the momentum of unconscious habits/addictions Develop intuition and creative potential

Yoga Immersion: Summer is for people who want to:

• • • •

Nourish their physical heart, support circulation and digestion Create greater ease, freedom and flow in their daily lives Open to deeper intimacy and connection; to self, others, nature Connect to their heart wisdom, and cultivate joy

Yoga Immersion: Fall is for people who want to:

• • • •

Deeply recharge, strengthen immunity and support healing Create greater balance, rhythm and flow Reconnect with what truly sustains them Cultivate their relationship to inspiration

format: Each program combines presentation and experiential learning, introducing concepts and practices and their benefits in everyday life. All programs are accessible to beginners. Some experience of yoga is recommended, but not required. tuition: Winter (2 nights) $460 ($500); Spring, Summer, Fall (3 nights) $595 ($655) + accommodation & meals.

The Haven Faculty Carole Ames BES, DipC, MTC is the founder of Creative Pursuits. She supports people and organizations in meaningful reflection, creative exploration, and effective integration. Her communication skills, humour and insight have been key in her 30 year career working with people. Associated with The Haven since 1990, she currently leads Come Alive and Living Alive Phase I. Eric Bibb was born into a musical family and has been singing, songwriting, and performing since a young age. Surrounded by greats like Pete Seeger, Odetta, Paul Robeson, and his father Leon Bibb, he learned music and life at the feet of people who were masters of both.

Graemme Brown Dip.C has been associated with The Haven since 1985. His dedication to compassion and gentle inquiry is focused on his special interest and expertise in the philosophy of Virginia Satir and Jungian shadow work. He is an awardwinning recording engineer whose love of music informs much of his approach to personal development training.

Al Chambers has a PhD in Therapeutic Counselling, a Masters in Counselling Psychology, a Diploma in Counselling, and a degree in Business. He has worked for 25 years in therapy and psychology, has taught at universities and colleges, and leads many programs throughout Asia and Canada. He is also a trained trauma counsellor. Associated with The Haven since 1983, he has led Come Alive for 14 years.

CrisMarie Campbell BS, MBA, DipC, Martha Beck Certified Coach, Mind-Body Coach is co-founder of Thrive! Inc. with Susan Clarke. Together they work with organizations and teams to create trust, effective communication and strategic alignment.

An Olympic rower who knows what it takes to create a championship team, she also knows the joy of her own intuition and creativity as an artist and actor.

Geoffrey Carr PhD, R.Psych, CPT-S trained in clinical psychology and neuroscience at McGill. He has been a professor of psychology both at UBC and SFU. A Registered Psychologist in BC for 25 years, he has been recognized as an expert in the assessment and treatment of children and adults at all levels of court in BC, and has published and taught on psychological assessment.

Brad Cassidy is a life-long seeker who has trained extensively at The Haven, with Hakomi Method founder Ron Kurtz, and with Anodea Judith. He is a certified Sacred Centers practitioner. He has a passion for the raising of consciousness and the awakening of hearts, and works in personal and community development Susan Clarke MA-ABS, DipC is co-founder of Thrive!

Inc. with CrisMarie Campbell. Together they work with organizations and teams to develop trust, effective communication and strategic alignment.

Her journey through a life-threatening illness has given her a depth of experience and a commitment to living life full out. She has led Come Alive for over 20 years, as well as Living Alive Phase I and Couples Alive.

Ian Curtin BComm, DipC, MTC is President of IC Possibilities Consulting Inc., a company specializing in facilitating dialogues within and between organizations, relational leadership and teamwork, and the art of living change. Associated with The Haven for 18 years, he has assisted and led Come Alive since 1999.

Elfi Dillon-Shaw RMT, DipC is a registered massage practitioner, bodyworker and educator with more than 20 years’ experience fostering pleasure and well-being. In addition to offering bodywork at The Haven she teaches programs on sexuality, body practices and stress management, frequently with her husband Gary Dillon. She has worked at The Haven since 1983.

Gary Dillon MA has studied psychology, theology, and movement therapy, especially Esalen massage and Hawaiian shamanic bodywork. He has wide experience in Taoist and Western esoteric transformations of Eros and offers a vision of sexuality and spirituality moving together. He teaches with his wife Elfi Dillon-Shaw.

Wayne Dodge MD, MPH, DipC is a family physician in Seattle, Washington. He has been the Clinical Director of an 18-practitioner Medical Clinic and currently administers the AIDS program for a large medical organization. Associated with The Haven since 1981, he has led Come Alive, Living Alive Phase I, New Horizons, Self-Compassion and other programs.

Gillian Enright RMT, MTC, BA, DipC, Cert Gerentology is an accomplished teacher in health body dynamics. She is a Somatic body worker and counsellor as well as a registered massage therapist.

She has over 20 years of post-traumatic counseling experience with youth, families and communities and has been associated with The Haven for 20 years.

Catherine Fallis PhD, RCC, DipC has used movement and the expressive arts in her work for more than 25 years in private practice and in the public school system in the Vancouver area. She studied Dance/Movement Therapy at the Naropa Institute in Boulder, Colorado, and has a PhD in movement therapy and spirituality from the California Institute of Integral Studies in San Francisco.

Marlyn Farrell CLSC, CJEA, DipC has worked as a trainer of lay counselors and employment facilitators, and has nearly 20 years’ experience leading creativity-based healing workshops. Associated with The Haven since 1984, she has worked with such diverse groups as professionals, at-risk youth, and people with mental illness.

Gerry and Judith Fewster PhD are senior psychotherapists and educators who direct one of twelve international IBP institutes dedicated to the advancement of human potential through relationships. Gifted facilitators, they lead Body, Self & Soul as well as a 200-hour foundational IBP training program. They have published extensively, including Gerry’s biography of The Haven’s founders, Ben & Jock.

Jane Geesman MFA has well over 30 years’ experience as an actor, director and teacher, and has trained and led programs at The Haven since 1993.

She and Sarah Lucht lead Act Natural, a vehicle for exploring self-expression and creativity in the context of the performing arts. Jane has a reputation for creating a safe and lively environment for people interested in developing their presence, confidence, and creative impulses, both professionally and personally.

Denise Goldbeck MA, PhD cand., DipC, RCC is a developmental psychologist specializing in social and moral development in children. She has worked with children, teens and families for over 35 years.

She founded Kids in the Spotlight and the Youth Leadership Program, and teaches Personal Parenting. Denise’s purpose in life is to smooth the way for young people as they discover their identities and build their lives.

Maria Gomori MSW, DipC, PhD is the world’s foremost practitioner and teacher of Satir processes.

She is an Approved Supervisor with the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy, and a retired Associate Professor of the University of Manitoba. She studied and worked with Virginia Satir for over 20 years. The Haven has published her number of her books, including her autobiography, Passion for Freedom.

Greg Gurel RPC became involved with Anger, Boundaries and Safety in 1994, led then by the program’s creator and Haven Director of Education, the late Joann Peterson. With his passionate enthusiasm for anger exploration and his fun nature, Greg now leads Anger, Boundaries and Safety and runs a private counselling practice.

David Hatfield is a leadership consultant and educational facilitator. He specializes in transformative, experiential programming with organizations, groups and individuals. He leads improvisational a cappella workshops internationally and his music experience ranges from street performing to offBroadway He holds a diploma in music, an M.Ed. in Social Ecology, and is completing an M.A. in Process Oriented Facilitation and Conflict Studies.

Jennifer Hilton CEC, DipC, Nia® Green Belt, is an empathetic coaching practitioner, facilitator and a student and teacher of the Nia Technique®. Jennifer has a Graduate Certificate in Executive Coaching from Royal Roads University. She teaches Deep Listening: Core Skills for Coaching and Dynamic Dialogue.

Mary Holdgrafer MEd, DipC, is a skilled creativity and meaning coach and group facilitator, and an accomplished contemporary quilt artist. Working especially with women in mid-life and beyond, she uses creativity as a means of personal growth and healing. She incorporates kindness, warmth and gentle humour, in all her work. She has been associated with The Haven since the early 1990s.

Susa Holt ND, PA-C, DipC is a naturopathic physician with over 20 years’ experience blending allopathic and alternative medicine and body/mind awareness.

She recently received a Master’s degree in Organizational Design and Renewal, and has a special interest in designing and supporting systemic change in organizations, groups and individuals.

Wendy Huntington PhD, MA, LMFT, DipC is a family therapist, group facilitator, and teacher. She specializes in addiction issues and works clinically with people in groups and in private practice. Associated with The Haven since the early 1990s, she leads Come Alive, Healing Stitches, and The Power of Direct Mirroring.

Jo-Ann Kevala Dip HGF, BA, is a senior executive with over 25 years of progressive leadership experience in the high-tech and emerging technologies business. The Haven has been a catalyst in her journey to finding self-compassion, balance and a way to live a more congruent life. She leads Self-Compassion with Graemme Brown.

Jane Kilthei DipC has a background as a midwife, activist and organizational change agent. She has a resilience-focused coaching and facilitation practice and brings an open heart and a desire to create a more compassionate world to leading Dynamic Dialogue with Cathy McNally and in Haven programs including Come Alive and Couples Alive.

Derek LaCroix QC, PhD, DipC practiced law for many years and has been an entrepreneur and a corporate executive. He is the Executive Director of the Lawyers Assistance Program of BC. Since 1987, Derek has made personal development, spiritual growth, and working with others his life focus. He has led and assisted Come Alive since 1994.

Wen-Shwu Lee CEC, DipC, MBA, BFA, BA is a passionate, personal and professional leadership trainer and coach. In her caring and inspiring teaching style, she effectively integrates her business background and life experience with coaching, counseling and creativity in heart-brain integrated leadership development work. Wenshwu leads Come Alive as well as a range of programs in Taiwan and China.

Sarah Lucht BA, AEA, SAG is a professional actor, educator and coach, with 35 years’ experience in theatre, film and television. She has been training and leading programs at The Haven since 1995, and teaches Act Natural with Jane Geesman. Sarah uses her expertise, warmth and humour to invite people to explore and express their intuition, presence and engagement with others.

Toby Macklin MA, DipHCS leads Come Alive, Living Alive Phase I, New Horizons: Phase III and Dynamic Empathy. He has worked on a wide range of programs in Canada and China. As a writer, editor and book designer he worked closely with Haven founders Ben Wong and Jock McKeen, most recently in The Illuminated Heart, Being: A Manual for LIfe and Joining: The Relationship Garden.

Sandey McCartney MA, DipC Sandey McCartney MA, DipC is a compassionate and skilled facilitator, educator and therapeutic counselor with over 35 years’ experience. Associated with The Haven since its foundation, she co-leads several Haven programs with her life-partner of 30 years, David Raithby. Together they have designed and led numerous personal and professional development programs in Canada and Asia.

Cathy McNally BSc, DipC, is passionate about people and possibility and curious about the gift of differences. A particular joy is coaching relationships of all kinds. Following a major life change, she is exploring aliveness, loss and meaning through the adventure of movement, voice, creativity, nature, eros and community. Associated with The Haven since 1989, Cathy believes that ‘living well, together’ is necessary, urgent, and possible.

Mitch Miyagawa brings insight, humour, creativity and depth to groups and individuals, and believes passionately in the promise of more interdependent relationships and cultures. A Certified Trainer with the Center for Nonviolent Communication, he has also been a diversity educator and an award-winning writer and documentary filmmaker. He lives on Gabriola Island with his wife and co-facilitator Angela Walkley, and two sons.

Linda Nicholls DipC, MTC, PhD is an adventurous and masterful group facilitator who integrates her diverse experience (in business, counseling, coaching, and with shamans, to name a few!) as she works with participants interested in personal transformation and strengthening relational skills. She has developed and taught energetically engaging programs on five continents.

Jane Olynyk DTCM, BA, DipC is a professional counsellor, licensed acupuncturist, and group facilitator and The Haven’s Director of Intern Training. Her blending of Eastern and Western Psychology brings a truly holistic view of working with body, mind and spirit and a unique way to engage in healing at all levels of being. She leads Come Alive, New Horizons, Dynamic Empathy, and Five Elements Practicum.

Kelly Price is a media artist, Certified Yoga Therapist and a Registered Yoga Teacher. Her teaching integrates advanced training in the therapeutic, technical and spiritual applications of yoga with in-depth knowledge of Eastern/Western anatomy, patho-physiology, movement rehabilitation and somatic and transpersonal psychology.

David Raithby DipC, MEd, RSW brings a wealth of skill and experience into creating and leading his many personal and professional development programs at The Haven and internationally. Associated with The Haven since 1979, David leads and coleads a diverse range of programs with his life partner of 30 years, Sandey McCartney, as well as with Linda Nicholls and Jennifer Hilton.

Gary Reiss LCSW, PhD is a certified trainer in Process Oriented Psychology. He teaches Process Work worldwide. His specialties include family therapy, sex therapy, working with coma patients, world work in hot spots including Israel and Palestine, organizational development, and integrating process work with different spiritual traditions.

Jennifer Roger BAppSc(PT), MD, CCFP and Blair Stanley BSc, MD, FCFP are rural family physicians and clinical faculty with the University of British Columbia. They are passionately interested in personal development as fundamental to an individual’s wellness. They have each been through separation and divorce and lived as single people in their 40s before coming together as life partners. They lead Life after Separation and New Beginnings.

Bettina Rothe is a facilitator of conscious movement practices and community building whose passion is to ignite connection with self, others and the continuum of all life. Her work is grounded in holistic, somatic based modalities with a strong focus on the 5Rhythms®, mindfulness practices and leadership embodiment principles.

Angela Walkley has facilitated, led processes, and provided training for over 15 years in the areas of community change, First Nation governance, grassroots leadership and organizational development. A personable and inventive trainer, she revels in the adventure of working with her husband Mitch Miyagawa, drawing from her own life experiences and creating links to the larger community and global systems.

Leslie Whyte MTC, DipC, Certified Calling in “The One” & Feminine Power Coach. Leslie brings curiosity and caring to her work as a group facilitator, counselor and transformative coach. Her capacity to integrate and embody a wide range of lived experiences and feelings allows her to engage caringly with others and inspire them to transform.

Cathy Wilder PhD, MEd, RCC, DipC is a creative and compassionate group leader, counsellor and coach.

Her capacity for embodying a deep range of human experiences and feelings has opened pathways for others in personal transformation and professional development, resulting in greater health and more satisfying relationships experiences.

Massage and Other Bodywork Various forms of massage and other bodywork are available at The Haven. Our bodyworkers are exceptionally gifted and have extensive personal experience of Haven programs, both as participants and facilitators. They will work with you respectfully, relationally, and in support of your learning at The Haven. For many people bodywork sessions are an integral part of their Haven experience. Contact the bodyworkers shortly before your program to check availability and to book a session.

Massage Therapy, Craniosacral, Reiki, Chi Nei Tsang Elfi Dillon-Shaw rmt 1 877 247 9504 elfi@shaw.ca Lomilomi & Transformational Movement Therapy Gary Kekoa Dillon 1 877 247 9504 jacobdill@shaw.ca Reflexology Suzanne Partridge 250 668 9937 spfootsie@gmail.com Jin Shin Do® Acupressure Martie Robinson martie.gabriola@gmail.com Yoga/Yoga Therapy Kelly Price 250 713 6082 kellypriceyoga@gmail.com www.kellypriceyoga.ca

L–R: Kelly Price, Angela Henderson, Gary Dillon, Martie Robinson, Elfi Dillon-Shaw, Suzanne Partridge

Group Bookings The Haven is the perfect, natural setting for conferences, meetings, planning sessions or retreats. Our stunning oceanfront property accommodates up to 100 people. We are just 20 minutes by ferry from Nanaimo and within easy traveling distance from Victoria and Vancouver. Facilities we offer include:

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A range of meeting rooms set up to suit your needs. Our auditorium can seat 180.

• Comfortable accommodation, private and shared, for up to 100 guests.

• Buffet-style meals in our waterfront dining room.

• Wireless internet access on most of the property.

• Internet access and word processing facilities.

• Hot tub, gym and seasonal outdoor swimming pool.

• The Haven’s bodyworkers, offering a variety of ways to de-stress, relax and revitalize.

For prices and more information, contact Wendy Pitcher: groups@haven.ca or Ext. 288. Visit haven.ca/groups

"We thoroughly enjoyed our stay at The Haven. It's a truly beautiful spot and our retreat was a resounding success!" liz

Massage Therapy, Craniosacral Angela Henderson rmt 250 802 9896 angelahendersonrmt@gmail.com

The Haven Selves Model The Haven Selves Model is taught in Come Alive, the Living Alive Phase programs, Self-Compassion, and other programs. It describes a cycle of self-hate that is familiar to us all, and offers an alternative, which we call the cycle of self-compassion.

signs

tools

Numbing Illness Depression Addiction Isolation

ideal self

self-hate (Reaction)

self-compassion (Response)

Breath Awareness Acknowledgment Acceptance Action Appreciation

actual self Doing Striving, Achievement

This short introduction is intended as a ‘taster.’ Join us at The Haven and experience the model in action!

The Haven Selves Model offers a way of understanding ourselves and an opportunity to live our lives with more awareness and choice. It traces an individual’s development from an original Authentic Self towards an Ideal Self, derived at first from external sources such as family and society, and then internalized. As people consistently fail to match up to their internalized Ideal, and are confronted instead with the reality of their Actual Self, they fall into a cycle of self-hate which has a wide range of consequences for the health and well being of the person. The Haven model offers another option, which we call the cycle of self-compassion.

The Selves model begins with the assumption that every person is born as an Authentic Self, with a basic nature that is unique to each individual. This ‘essence’ contains the entire potential of what the person might in time become.

As children grow, they gradually become aware of their parents’ or guardians’ expectations of them. Through daily experience they form an image of how they must be in order to please those upon whom they are dependent for their survival. This developing image is the kernel of a child’s Ideal Self. Though its source is originally external, it is soon internalized and incorporated into a self-regulating system of behaviour in the maturing person. This system is further strengthened as the person encounters other sources of authority, at school and more widely in society. Frequently, the demands of the Ideal Self are in opposition to the desires of the Authentic Self, and most often the Authentic Self is surrendered in some form of compromise. This reality is a person’s Actual Self.

This process is a normal and necessary part of growing up and being part of society. Each person must live as all three Selves, attempting to satisfy them all in order to maintain some emotional balance and ease. Sadly however, as we strive but consistently fail to match up to the perfect requirements of the Ideal Self, while at the same time progressively abandoning our Authentic Self, we

Being Curiosity, Humour

authentic self react with self-hate. We may achieve a great deal in the process of doing and striving, but there is a price to pay. In order to carry on working against our deepest natures, we become numb or frozen. In particular we constrain our breathing in an attempt to still our feelings. In so doing we deny ourselves the full pleasure of being alive. As we lose touch with our feelings, our bodies begin to manifest symptoms. The consequences of self-hate include physical illness, addictions, depression, and a sense of isolation.

It is possible, however, to choose another option, the cycle of self-compassion. There are tools available to help us on this path. The first step is to breathe; by doing this we can begin to ‘unfreeze’ and experience again our own aliveness. We can then become increasingly aware of our patterns of striving towards our Ideal, of our Actual Self, and of the desires of our Authentic Self.

In acknowledging this, to others as well as ourselves, we begin to accept our selves; and we can take action to further the cycle of self-compassion. As we continue, we progressively develop a fifth ‘a’, appreciation of ourselves Thus we have an acronym for this cycle of self-compassion: BAAAAA – Breath, Awareness, Acknowledgment, Acceptance, Action, Appreciation.

Many people who come to The Haven know the cycle of selfhate very well, and are all too aware of both the emotional and physical symptoms that can result from it. For many, the realization that there is a powerful alternative to this marks a turning point in their lives. Awareness gives us the opportunity increasingly to respond to the events and circumstances of our lives with self-compassion, curiosity and humour, rather than simply reacting with self-hate. There is enormous potential in this for growth and increased wellbeing. The challenge is to acknowledge and honour each aspect of ourselves and to move through our lives with choice and responsibility.

cKeen and Wong

heir 35 years people can erience with phasize the onsibility in

, F.R.C.P. (c) Training on

Facilitated by graduates of our Diploma program, these groups meet in cities around Canada and the United States. Staying Alive is for you if you want to further explore the ideas presented at The Haven. The groups offer opportunities to deepen your awareness of yourself, practice personal and interpersonal skills, and explore a range of issues. For details, visit haven.ca and contact one of the leaders

Webinars Members of Haven faculty present a range of free webinars on of topics related to The Haven’s core curriculum. Check haven.ca for details and subscribe to our monthly E-News to get the latest information.

Haven Coaching Haven Coaching is intended to assist and support you as you integrate your Haven experience into your life at home.

Being and Joining (2013) are revised editions of Bennet Wong and Jock McKeen’s most-loved books, with indepth discussions of the central themes of Haven programs including Come Alive and the Living Alive Phases.

This form of coaching is designed to foster a collaborative relationship between the coach and client. The focus is on growth and transition, with the intention of formulating action plans to attain a client’s desired outcome and create fulfillment.

To learn more about the Haven Coaching program and to read about the individual coaches, visit the Haven Coaching page at haven.ca To book your coaching session, contact the Haven coach of your choice directly by email or phone. You can also experience one FREE 20 min starter session to discover how Haven Coaching works.

The Illuminated Heart (2012) offers a panoramic and detailed view of the theoretical roots of Haven teaching.

Passion for Freedom (2014) is the inspiring autobiography of Maria Gomori, from her escape from a Nazi death march to a long association with Virginia Satir and The Haven.

A Book about

A Book about

A Book about

Health & Happiness

Living with Passion

Jock McKeen and Bennet Wong

David Raithby and Sandey McCartney

Anger, Boundaries & Safety Joann S. Peterson

Visit haven.ca for more information, plus articles, videos and audio recordings to download!

- Revised and Expanded By emphasizing the distinction between anger and violence, Joann Peterson shows that anger is a feeling to be valued and explores ways in which we can express it in safe, responsible, non-violent ways. By doing so we can greatly enhance our health and our relationships.

Based on a five-day course Dr Peterson has developed and led over some 15 years in North America and Southeast Asia, and drawing on more than 40 years of personal and professional experience in the field, this book contains theoretical models and practical ideas that will challenge you to transform your view of anger and the role it plays in your life.

Joann Peterson MSW, ACSW., Dip. C., Ph.D is Director of Education at The Haven Institute for Professional Training on Gabriola Island, British Columbia, Canada. This is a revised and expanded version of her acclaimed Anger, Boundaries and Safety, first published in 2001.

ISBN 0-9696755-8-5

THE HAVEN

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The Haven Institute Press The Haven Institute for Professional Training

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Anger, Boundaries & Safety Joann S. Peterson

A Book about Anger, Boundaries & Safety

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Staying Alive Groups

Joann S. Peterson

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The Haven publishes inspiring and educational books.

These are available from The Haven (info@haven.ca, 1 800 222 9211 Ext. 0) and on Amazon, in paperback and eBook format.

Jock McKeen and Bennet Wong A Book about Health & Happiness PD Publishing

k about

Continue Your Learning

The Haven Institute Press

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the haven

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series

The Haven Bookabout Series comprises these three titles, by Bennet Wong and Jock McKeen, David Raithby and Sandey McCartney, and Joann Peterson.

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Join our Circle of Giving Become a Friend or Partner with monthly or annual donations The Haven is a not-for-profit charitable organization in Canada and the US. To finance specific parts of our work – Financial Aid, Youth Leadership, and our new Capital Campaign – we rely on generous people like you.

• Become a Haven Friend for as little as $5 per month or $100 annually.

• Become a Haven Partner for $50 per month or $1000 annually.

Thank you to our Haven Partners (listed below) and Haven Friends (too many to fit in here!), who help bring curiosity, compassion and self-responsibility to a world sorely in need of what The Haven has to offer!

David Beckwermert Andrew Bing Corey Blades Joann & Eric Byres CrisMarie Campbell & Susan Clarke Kristina Campbell Sue Clarkeson Chriss Corbett Gerri Dale Rachel Davey & Toby Macklin Jim Dobinson Wayne Dodge Ruth Emerson & Bob Owen Ken Faris Christopher Fleck Judy & Michel Fournier Gao Wei & Wang Fang John & Carolyn Gill Denise Goldbeck

Golden Thread Foundation Anne Hale Susa Holt & Bryan Croeni Roland & Emma Jarrett Norm Johnson Shana Johnston & Dave Goossen Mark & Sandy Gunderson Sean Kearns Laurie Kelley & Scott Poole Dale Kelly Jo-Ann & Rob Kevala Wen-Shwu Lee Catherine Lord Jock McKeen Cathy McNally Joan McNeely in memory of Michael McNeely Mark Norman Debi Potts & Brent Rolufs

Jan Pullinger Al Schultz & Leona Kolla David Skinner Dan & Christina Smith Rosemary & Bill Smith Karen Stephens & Mark Collins Neil Turley Dave Unsworth Roy Verbrugge Linda Wang & Tom Tang Chuan Zhong Cathy Wilder Fran Willgress Terri Wolfe Randy Wong Julian Young Four anonymous donors

Since Haven Foundation and the Financial Aid program were established in 2004, some 800 adults and children have received interest free loans and bursaries totalling more than $800,000.

the capital campaign Invest in The Haven’s future! financial aid Join 79 monthly donors and 125 annual donors. youth leadership Join 10 monthly donors and 20 annual donors.

99 adults and children received Financial Aid in 2016, with a budget of $85,200.

louise amuir manages The Haven’s Fundraising & Financial Aid programs

Haven Foundation’s Financial Aid program assists those with limited incomes or financial difficulties to attend programs at The Haven.

• To apply for Financial Aid, fill out our online application form at www.haven.ca.

• To donate to Financial Aid, visit haven.ca or contact louise@haven.ca.

As a registered charity in Canada and the US, we give tax receipts.

I was given the opportunity to attend Come Alive with the help of a bursary.

Before attending the program, I didn’t want to live and I felt completely removed from all connection. I now feel more hopeful, confident and able to make choices. This would not have been possible without your generosity and willingness to help others. I hope one day I can do the same for another person. JL., a 2016 financial aid recipient

For more information visit haven.ca/giving or contact Louise Amuir 1 800 222 9211 Ext. 222 louise@haven.ca The Haven is a federally registered educational charity in Canada (#89280-6407 RR0001) and the US (#30-0278642).

In my 20-some years of attending Haven programs I have come to trust the integrity of this foundation.

Thus I believe my money is well spent for the betterment of society and the world. I am grateful! a.w., a donor

discover

the haven The Haven is a centre for transformative learning on beautiful Gabriola Island in British Columbia, Canada.

For more than 30 years, we have developed innovative approaches to teaching and learning, challenging thousands to define and shape their lives.

haven.ca

the haven 240 Davis Road Gabriola Island, BC Canada V0R 1X1

Tel. 250 247 9211 Toll Free 1 800 222 9211 info@haven.ca Fax 250 247 8454

haven foundation board of directors Mary & Gary Holdgrafer (Chairs) Dale Kelly Dea Lloyd Jan Pullinger Julian Young executive director Rachel Davey rachel@haven.ca • Ext. 235 general manager Dennis Marriott dennis@haven.ca • Ext. 215 programs & registration manager Morag Ruckman morag@haven.ca • Ext. 1 contacts Registrars Cindy O’Dell, Shannon Schetyna register@haven.ca • Ext. 1 Reception info@haven.ca • Ext. 0 Fundraising & Financial Aid Louise Amuir louise@haven.ca • Ext. 222 Group and Conference Bookings Wendy Pitcher groups@haven.ca • Ext. 288 We offer an inclusive environment and welcome people of diverse backgrounds and perspectives.

Catalogue designed by Toby Macklin. Inside front cover photo

by Jackson Buchanan. Back cover photo by Sam Mak (sammak@ telus.net). Other photos by Chris Finlayson, Nicholas Halpin, Sam Mak, and Wen-Shwu Lee. Printed on FSC®-certified 100% post-consumer recycled paper.

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