Essays of Africa February 2016

A WOMAN’S JOURNEY

OF AFRICA ESSAYS OF AFRICA

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THE EXQUISITE LIFE OF

EMBRACE RADICAL SELF-LOVE THIS VALENTINE’S DAY

Savita Mbuli

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PARALYSED AFTER A CYCLING ACCIDENT

Femicide:

MÉNAGE À TROIS

WHEN LOVE KILLS

Double the fun or heartache?

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Inside ESSAYS a woman’s journey

of africa

FEBRUARY 2016

cover stories

17 UNCOVERED: Ndoni Khanyile urges you to embrace radical self-love.

M AIN FASHION: Finish off your look 34 with the right handbag and shoe combo.

44 COVER STORY: The exquisite life of Savita Mbuli.

60 REAL LIFE: Paralysed by a cycling accident.

NEWS REPORT: Love to kill: femicide 61 in SA. 65 SEX: The threesome thrill.

76

MAN FEATURE: Is your man on the down low?

81 MAIN BEAUTY: Less hair, more flair!

people

54 MY JOURNEY: Dr Anna Mokgokong was born for business.

58 PROFILE: The book lady, Bisila Bokoko.

74 MAN Q&A: Norman Moyo harvests business success across Africa.

columns

14 GUEST BLOG: Marriage is not a rivalry between love and ambition.

16 READER’S CORNER: Phumla Dlamini is unapologetically sensual.

features

51 SELF-EMPOWERMENT: Review your resolutions.

63 RELATIONSHIPS: The real deal about

customary marriages.

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67 PARENTING: Breastfeeding confessions.

70 HEALTH: Endometriosis and infertility.

72 MONEY: Have a financially fit 2016.

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FASHION NEWS

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SEXY 7: The best fashion products of the month.

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SHOPPING: Knee-high gladiators.

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SHOPPING: Pristine in a pencil skirt.

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REAL WOMAN: Nyeleti Mangotlo of Curvy Star Fashion.

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SHOPPING: The right backdrop for your look.

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FASHION INTERVIEW: Lilian Muhammed and her handbag brand, Londré Tan.

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MAN SHOPPING: Never short on style!

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DÉCOR NEWS: Reinvent your style.

101 TRAVEL: African train journeys.

104 MOTORING: Trending family SUVs.

beauty

106 BOOKS

42

ALL LACQUERED UP

108 MOVIES & THEATRE

80

BEAUTY NEWS

109 MUSIC

86

HAIR: Keep your hair on.

88

SEXY 7: The best beauty products of the month.

regulars

lifestyle

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ENTERTAINMENT Q&A: Batsile Ramasodi in the world of thespians.

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FOOD & ENTERTAINING: Local foodie, Naledi Letsebe’s romantic cooking ideas.

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DÉCOR STYLE: Pretty pale.

107 TECH NEWS & APPS

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CONTRIBUTORS’ PAGE

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ON LOCATION

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EDITOR’S LETTER

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ONLINE UPDATE

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LETTERS’ PAGE

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SUBSCRIPTIONS PAGE

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SOCIAL SCENE: Bell & Ross #AviationAdventure.

110 HOROSCOPES 111 STOCKISTS PAGE

MAIN COVER: STYLED BY: TUMI MDLULI. PHOTOGRAPHER: GARETH JACOBS. ASSISTANT: TEBATJO MANAMELA. HAIR & MAKE-UP: KHETHIWE MKHABELA. DRESSED BY: DAVID TLALE. LOCATION: PROTEA FIRE & ICE! MELROSE ARCH, BLUE TRAIN, VIRGIN REMY, NALEDI LETSEBE.

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ESSAYS OF AFRICA

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ESSAYS www.essaysofafrica.com

CEO of Kwenta Media & Founding Editor of Essays of Africa

Managing Editor Deputy Managing Editor Features Writers Fashion & Beauty Editor Fashion Assistant DĂŠcor Writer Contributors

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Zama Nkosi Tracy Maher Caryn Thandi Petersen, Thina Mthembu, Hlulani Masingi, Ndoni Khanyile, Katherine Swift Tumi Mdluli Tebatjo Manamela Rhoda Davids Kim Garner, Helen Herimbi, Lauren Jacobs, Lopang Molepe, Fatima Asmal, Pearl Boshomane, Naledi Ngubane, Loren Stow, Nthabiseng Monareng

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Nuraan Motlekar Monice Kruger Mbalenhle Fakude Kelly Moyo Tebatjo Manamela Gabriel Mashishi, Yusuf Msinyi Fazila Bizor, Lindsay Breytenbach, Lindelwa Isabelle, Ndoni Khanyile, Busisiwe Mahlaba, Sen Mdhluli, Moeketsi Mosola, Dr Salifou Siddo, Nthabe Zondo, Sonto Ndlovu Kwenta Media (Pty) Ltd. Fourways View Office Park, Block C, First Floor, Cnr Sunset Ave and Sunrise Blvd, Fourways Tel: 011 467 5859, Fax: 011 467 2808 Kwenta Media, Essays of Africa: P.O. Box 4437, Dainfern, 2055 www.essaysofsafrica.com / www.kwentamedia.com advertising@essaysofafrica.com / advertising@kwentamedia.com editorial@essaysofafrica.com info@essaysofafrica.com / info@kwentamedia.com subs@essaysofafrica.com CTP Printers Cape Town RNA (Astrid Anderson) Essays Of Africa Magazine, Website and Webzine are 100% owned and published by Kwenta Media (Pty) Ltd. The editor and publisher reserve the right to alter copy and visual material as deemed necessary.

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E ssAY S of A f r i c a

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February 2016

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EOA CONTRIBUTORS

Love is… when you are loved for being you. It requires no effort and you cannot make someone love you, nor can you prevent it. It is inherently free. Love is that which is unconditional and imparts the joy of giving, with no agenda. It embraces both the pain and joy of life. Love is a good listener, it hears and understands.

Love doesn’t hurt or demand. It is a free gift and doesn’t require you to sacrifice self to get it. Love doesn’t try to control by making others feel obligated.

Love?

With Cupid and love top of mind, we asked a few EOA contributors to tell us what love is and isn’t to them.

Love is ... anything that feels like home.

Love is not...what you see in the movies.

Rhoda Davids, Décor Writer

Love is … so many things, so many indescribable feelings and emotions. It is beauty, laughter, passion and folly. It is the trust of a journey not yet trodden; it is feeling connected, so safe and nurtured and cared for. I am the world’s greatest trapeze artist and my safety net is steadfast, buoyant and constant. Love is being totally open with your partner, showing every little or large flaw, being able to express your egos and your otherness without judgement or criticism, only tolerance, understanding, compassion and chuckling. Love is being able to take off the masks of your many personas and being adored for your quirks, idiosyncrasies, and authenticity.

Love does not want to stifle the other person. It is understanding and appreciating their individuality. It is not boastful, jealous and possessive. Love is not a need but a pure and honest feeling that comes with no judgement or expectation. Love is not a ticking time bomb, waiting to explode with anger and resentment.

It is not a competition; there is no race.

You are in it together, united.

Melissa Jane Cook, New To The Team Features Writer

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Love is… unconditional support, understanding, faith and trust.

Love is not… gifts, bling and the best of everything money can buy.

Monice Kruger, Sales and Business Development

WORDS AND IMAGES BY: MBALENHLE FAKUDE, MONICE KRUGER, MELISSA JANE COOK, RHODA DAVIDS.

Mbalenhle Fakude, PR & Marketing Assistant

ESSAYS OF AFRICA

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ON LOCATION EOA

WORDS & STYLIST: TUMI MDLULI. PHOTOGRAPHER: GARETH JACOBS. ASSISTANT: TEBATJO MANAMELA. HAIR & MAKE-UP: KHETHIWE MKHABELA. DRESSED BY: DAVID TLALE. LOCATION: PROTEA FIRE & ICE! MELROSE ARCH.

KHETHIWE ADDS A LITTLE POWDER FOR THE PERFECT FINISH.

Savita Mbuli

EOA gets a glimpse of the prayer warrior and triumphant woman that is Savita Mbuli.

SAVITA STAYS ON TOP OF WORK AND HER CHILDREN’S SCHEDULES DURING THE SHOOT.

KHETHIWE ADJUSTING ANY LOOSE HAIRS.

SAVITA’S NIECE HELPS WITH SAVITA’S SKIRT WHILE KHETHIWE APPLIES THE FINISHING TOUCHES.

E SSAYS O F A F R I C A

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KHETHIWE APPLYING LIPSTICK ON SAVITA.

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2015/12/11 1:42 PM

EOA ED’S LETTER

I Belong… know who I am and I am so grateful that ‘humbleness’ is my centre of gravity and the cornerstone of my life’s journey. I see it at times when I am faced with impossibilities, lack business ideas, rejection or smart love. When publishing businesses succumbed to the digital revolution and the global recession shut down a great many doors, the undefeated warrior within me arose and fought against her own demons and against the status quo. This warrior refused to be silenced and continued to live after being discounted and discarded for naught.

I recognise a similar trait in young children who haven’t yet realised their limitations. Even when banned from ‘flying’ off tables and chairs, they close their eyes and take flight. They love unashamedly to the extent that even so-called odd creatures like stick insects are glorified and given beautiful names.

I did not know that I could live without a pulse. When my heart was exposed and ripped out of my chest time and time again by those close enough to share my very breath, I continued relentlessly. I did not know that not only is there life after death, but there is renewed life after life.

The only thing we know is that the institution of love is complex and human beings create these complicated dynamics. When it comes to love, you need to use your brain and be realistic. Avoid making decisions that will impress the family, the church and society, but are not in your best interest. God tells us to love one another, but nowhere does He say we have to impress each other.

To truly love someone else, we need to sacrifice self; we need to forget about who we are and love like never before. That being said, this sacrifice needs to be hinged on the concept of Smart Love, that is, being wired, aligned and intrinsically linked to all the touch buttons.

The love has got to connect on all levels and be evenly yoked. You cannot enter into it blindly, but rather you need to open your eyes, heart, hands and your brain and embrace it smartly.

I love to journey through the realm of love, but I am not an expert.

I know I have failed and may yet fail. But I also know that I belong and I recognise that my failures form the path to my success. It is imperative that when you fall, you fall forward. As Dr Robert Kirby, co-author of Dancing Dragon or Headless Chicken: Unleashing The Leader In You says, “Even if you fall flat on your face, you are farther forward than you would have been if you hadn’t fallen.” I know that it feels good to love and it feels super cool to be loved – and to know what love is; but you’ve got to reciprocate and embrace it. Let love search and find you…

I know when I’m in love. I can see it, smell and taste it. As the world continues to evolve digitally and people engage on social media chats and dating sites, there’s a tendency to love the idea of the person or romanticise the concept of being in love, rather than the physical act of being in the person’s presence. Posted bios and brief profiles that try to summarise a soul have replaced the physical effort of getting to know a person. Emotions are précised in emoticons and conversations

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are abridged to make space for more characters. True expressions of feelings fall by the wayside and in the busyness of the world, I need to remind myself that I belong.

I belong on this planet and the new heaven that will come. I belong in this moment and in my immortal breath. Even when some of my views – particularly on love and finances – are considered an abomination of socially constructed norms, I know these to be true: Love is good. I belong to me and I belong to none other than ‘Love’.

I belong to a higher dimension of hope, not limited to who they say I should be because I know exactly who I am.

It is up to you to craft your own personal values and work out your love road map. You know yourself the best; determine how you wish to give and receive love and then unleash the great lover inside of you.

I urge you to think on this: do you treat your love affairs as business affairs? Let’s keep the conversation going!

Nawaal

Nawaal@kwentamedia.com

ESSAYS OF AFRICA

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EOA ONLINE UPDATE HAVE YOU SUBSCRIBED TO OUR EOA DAILY NEWSLETTER?

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LETTERS EOA INSPIRATION

LOVE TO HUSTLE

I bought my first copy of your magazine (October 2015 issue) and loved your piece on Hustle Hard and Change The World. I read it at a time when I had decided to leave the job I had in sponsorship and marketing in a sports and entertainment industry. Although I had enjoyed every moment of working for agencies for 11 years, something was missing. The idea of ownership, doing something I’m so passionate about appealed to me, as does working closely with the incredible talent in music, television, radio and sports our country has.

One word that has always been on my mind is ‘hustle’ and as you said, the word implies the constant move or drive in pursuit of a goal or dream. Just a month ago the company I work for asked me what my ultimate goal was. I think they expected me to respond with business director or account director within the company, but my answer was simple: to build my own agency and give an opportunity to others to realise their dreams. I love what Russell Simmons once said: “Entrepreneurship and good business are built predominantly with passion, honesty and the desire to serve.”

Mandla Stemela

First of all let me just thank you for the lovely magazine you guys are running. I must say, ever since I started reading it, my journey has changed for the better. You really inspire us.

Takatso Mathebula

LOVE YOURSELF!

As a first-time reader of your magazine I would like to say I was impressed with the content and intellectual level. Well done!

Nawaal’s words on remembering your physical body highlight the importance of creating a balance. Both body and mind must be nurtured and we cannot thrive without both being in harmony. Be yourself, create balance and get rid of fear and guilt; we are all individuals and every one of us is perfect in our own way, so love yourself for who you are!

Ann-Lene Olivier

Your letters SOCIAL MEDIA

Liz Makoma Ditshego Great cover! Can’t wait to read the pages about the sizzling sex. I need that info, but not for me though; I need the info for my friend.

Hulisani Thabela Can’t wait to see the curvaceous ladies in the swim spread!

Chiza Muhindo I appreciate your site. @janinej So many magazines are creating content for audiences that don’t exist in SA. You can’t create content for figments of your imagination.

I Am Light @Me_Chaela @janinej @janinej So true – this is why I only buy @EssaysOfAfrica. I can relate… @ZaShandu_M Beat My Blush My first time having this mag, I didn’t even know it existed. Thanks to @EssaysOfAfrica. Loving every article. #Blogger ainra @ms_Lubisi @EssaysofAfrica thank you for this great mag.

We would love to hear your views, news and especially your feedback on the magazine. E-mail us at letters@ essaysofafrica.com or post your comments on Facebook.com/essayofafrica, @EssaysOfAfrica or EssaysOfAfrica.

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MARRIAGE IS NOT A RIVALRY BETWEEN LOVE AND AMBITION Feminist Makoti creator, Pearl Boshomane, looks at why male ambition is a given but female ambition an anomaly – and even a problem.

PEARL BOSHOMANE

our career will never wake up and tell you that it doesn’t love you anymore.”

I often refer back to these words by Lady Gaga, whether I’m single or in a relationship. That doesn’t mean I’m always one foot out the door when it comes to love, but it reminds me that no matter what, I can’t ever abandon my dreams because they might make someone uncomfortable or insecure.

I have been engaged for five months now, so naturally I’m often asked when the wedding is. The truth is I have no idea. We haven’t decided yet. There’s no rush to walk down the aisle in a dress that will most probably look hideous 20 years from now. I’m completely oversimplifying things – I’m not even that keen on a wedding, white or traditional.

When someone asked me that question the other day while I was out with colleagues, I replied with an honest and I suppose nonchalant “I have no idea.”

Someone else asked what the holdup was and I said that I have other things I’m focusing on right now: namely completing my bridesmaid duties for my cousin and filling out applications for fellowships in

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the States. A male friend then decided to share his unsolicited opinion, which went something like this: Him: “You want to go overseas? But you’re getting married soon.”

Me: “So?” Him: “You’re going to leave your husband and go overseas? Do you think that’s wise? We [as in men] are visual. We need attention.”

What he meant was: “Your man comes first and if you leave he’s going to cheat on you because that’s what men do.” I shut that down promptly and told him that I wasn’t going to put my ambition on the backburner just because I’m getting married.

Him: “Really?” (in the most condescending tone) Me: “I am not going to stop my life just because I think someone might cheat.”

Him: “So you want to get divorced?”

Lord help us! Being a divorced woman carries with it the humiliation of not being able to ‘keep’ a man, if you let it. People wonder how she will survive, walk down the street, look herself in the mirror, face the world, or sleep at night.

You know how people say every little girl dreams of her wedding day? That’s bull****, of course. I never wanted to get married. I’ve

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WORDS AND IMAGES: PEARL BOSHAMANE, ©ISTOCK.COM.

GUEST BLOG EOA never been interested. When I imagined ‘Future Me’ at perhaps 35, a man was never in the picture. Travel. Money. Adventure.

Writing. Humanitarianism. Great shoes.

Flawless skin. These were in the picture. I’d be the coolest aunt on earth, bringing my nieces and nephews great gifts from across the world, having tons of fun with the kids before jetting off to an old apartment in Addis Ababa.

But life doesn’t always go according to plan and now I have marriage on the cards – and I’m going to work with it because I’m totally down. I know nothing about marriage, but I do know that I don’t want to lose myself in it. My biggest fear is waking up at 33 in baggy old T-shirts and baby-vomitstained tights, with dark circles under my eyes, dinner on the table every night and my dreams completely forgotten. This is a caricature of marriage and motherhood (I’m still not sure the latter is on the cards for me), of course, but I don’t want to be that person.

Why is it that certain sectors of society expect me to be less ambitious about my career and focus my full attention on being someone’s wife? Why are women still being threatened with eternal loneliness if they’re ambitious and take no prisoners? Why can’t we have it all? And if for some reason we can’t, doesn’t that mean we should at least still try? Why won’t patriarchy let us enjoy relationships and maybe even marriage on our own terms? Why do people automatically think they have the right to comment on how you choose to live your life when you’re a woman?

“Why is it that certain sectors of society expect me to be less ambitious about my career and focus my full attention on being someone’s wife?”

I’m not ambitious because I’m scared my man will leave me, just as I am not unambitious for the same reason. I’m ambitious because that’s who I am. Why should that change for anyone? It doesn’t make sense that someone will meet you, get to know you, fall in love with you, spend time with you and propose to you knowing full well that you plan to take over the world – and then expect you to give that up for diamonds, cuddling, a nice kitchen and big garden. Of course I do want these things… and sex. Lots of sex!

My guy is as ambitious and hardworking as I am. I support his hustle and he supports mine. But if he doesn’t, tough: I’m still taking over the world, with or without him. E

Follow Pearl’s blog: Feministmakoti.tumblr.com Twitter: @Pearlulla

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EOA READERS’ CORNER

UNAPOLOGETICALLY SENSUAL Tired of women having to suppress their sexuality and sensuality, Phumla Dlamini speaks about owning all the parts of womanhood. he subject of women owning their sexuality remains debatable even in the most open-minded of circles.

Even in modern culture, women are subject to social and cultural challenges when it comes to expressing their sexuality. Society dictates our sexual image and we consciously and unconsciously follow the restrictions set for us.

The moral assumption that a woman who shows too much flesh is ‘cheap’ and ‘asking for it' has left many of us not looking at the bigger picture. Although now empowered in many different ways, personally and professionally, when it’s all said and done women were created to be sensual beings.

The appeal of a woman is not only in the physical. She possesses more qualities that make her dynamic and unlike men, we have a sensual glamour about us; a glamour that we have been taught to be ashamed of. The role of a woman being reduced to an object is longestablished. For this reason, many of us have misplaced the ability to appreciate our femininity and the beauty of our bodies, which come in various unique shapes and sizes. It is my belief that a woman at any age or stage in life must be able to celebrate the exquisiteness of her body.

As women, we wear a lot of different hats and sexiness should be one of them. However, this unapologetic recognition should be counterbalanced with an equal measure of responsibility. I want to be able to wake up in the morning and look at myself in the mirror in all my naked glory (flaws and all) and be proud of what I see, even though that is not all there is to me. Sexiness is formed by all the pieces that come together to complete me. For this reason, I refuse to allow society to dictate that expressing my sexuality reduces me as a woman.

Women have a right to embrace and show off their bodies, without people staring in judgement at her because she chose to wear a mini dress, shorts or low neckline in public. It saddens me that victims of rape and assault have questioned their own actions, rather than blame the aggressor. No woman dresses to become a victim and no, she did not ask for it!

It is time to change the existing mindset and look differently at how a woman chooses to express herself. How do we communicate the messages of self-love, embracing womanhood and positive body image to our daughters and sisters in a world that denigrates the fairer sex? This remains a challenge, especially for those who were raised in conservative cultures. Women should be the only custodians of their bodies and free to express their sexuality as a political statement if necessary. E

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WORDS AND IMAGES: PHUMLA DLAMINI.

OWNING YOUR SENSUALITY

EssAY S of Afric a

2015/12/11 2:07 PM

UNCOVERED EOA

Embracing Radical

Self-Love

Even though we are bombarded with messages of love on Valentine’s Day, NDONI KHANYILE reminds you about the important love affair: the one with yourself.

WORDS: NDONI KHANYILE. IMAGE: ©ISTOCK.COM.

s we settle into the newness of 2016, the time has come when our collective attention is focused on love. Coupledom is once again praised as an ideal and marketers are ready with a plethora of merchandise that will prove and express said love. I am a self-proclaimed non-believer in all things Saint Valentine, but I do revel in any opportunity to reflect on the nature of love and how it shapes us. So this month, I want to talk about the most important type of love there is – self-love.

Self-love goes beyond the notion of simply taking care of oneself. I see it as far more radical than that. True self-love is the understanding that in order to be good to yourself and of service to anyone else, you must put your own well-being and

wellness at the centre of every decision you make and at the top of every list of priorities. This may seem obvious or trite, but when you consider what it takes for a woman to say that she, not her partner, family or career, is the centre of her own life, that admission becomes a radical act.

Generations of patriarchy have taught us to see and relate to women through the lens of the roles that they play. Men are also assigned their roles within a patriarchy, but no one would ever question how Mark Zuckerberg’s decision to start a family could impact on his ability to run a global company like Facebook.

For men, one thing has nothing to do with the other.

Sheryl Sandberg, on the other hand, wrote an entire book called Lean In (Deckle Edge, March 2013) about what it takes from her to have a family and be the COO and highest-ranking female employee at Facebook. For women, it takes a colossal paradigm shift.

Our society is far more comfortable seeing women as nurturers and givers because it places emphasis on what we do for others. We are discouraged from being selfish because who knows what choices we would then make? When I first got married I tried to be all things to all people and all that did was leave me feeing unsure of myself, drained and resentful. What do you really have to give those you love when you are so depleted? I had to realise that the people who love me do so because of who I am not what I do for them. When I am feeling grounded, connected and fulfilled, I am the very best of myself and I can’t help but be a powerful force for those around me.

Learning to be selfish or, more accurately, prioritising my physical, emotional and spiritual wellbeing over everything and everyone else has been the most important and difficult lesson of my adult life – and I’m still working on it! This lesson is a tricky one because it takes so much unlearning but if we are willing to be even a little more selfish, we allow ourselves the space to meet the truest version of ourselves. E What do you do for yourself as an act of radical self-love? Share your stories with us on Facebook and on Twitter using #EOARadicalSelfLove.

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EOA FASHION NEWS

KEEPING UP WITH KENDALL + KYLIE

STICK TO TRENDS

Autumn is knocking on our doors, but that doesn’t mean we have to let her in just yet! According to Fashion Snoops Spring/Summer ‘16 Colour Forecast, these five palettes should still be dominating in your wardrobe: Backyard offers a lively conversation anchored by warm and cool hues, Soft Nostalgia addresses pastels as one of the most important groups of the season, Seaside is presented as a vibrant selection of mid-tones, and Desert Bloom is a combination of earthy neutrals along with emerging fashion colours. Jewel tones remain relevant, with a new offering of Heirlooms. Red and green will continue to play the most important roles, including familiar shades of dark burgundy and brighter ruby. Now brighten up your wardrobe and see how much lighter and trendier you will feel!

BE THE FACE OF LABEL.M

For over a decade, label.m has been at the heart of London Fashion Week; from the catwalk to the high street, they have been setting the pace, cutting the style, shaping the texture and twisting the colour to turn ordinary to extraordinary. Artists, designers, and brands have had a stage to express their individuality and now it’s your turn to catch their eye with your individual style. The ‘Face of label.m winner’ will be chosen by their judging panel, styled by their award-winning international artistic team and go on to feature in their prestigious annual label.m campaign shoot in London, working alongside top fashion photographers and professional models.

And if this wasn’t exciting enough, each month one image with the most ‘likes’ will be awarded ‘People’s Winner’ status! The face of label.m shortlisted image and the People’s Winner’ will both receive the label.m exclusive monthly prize bundle!

Upload your look on label-me.com – winners will chosen at the end of January.

STEP IT UP WITH G-STAR FOOTWEAR

G-Star Footwear keeps it fresh and bright with a collection on monochromatically coloured styles, and introduces a new Scuba sneaker for men and a range of denim heels and wedges for women. Boots, sneakers, sandals and derbies have all received the single-colour treatment. The thought behind the collection was to highlight the shoes in their purest form, painting every detail in one colour, from eyelets to laces to sole, to place full focus on silhouette. The whiteout styles are a staple for every wardrobe this season. The range of women’s heels and wedges comes from Italy with handmade outsoles and feature herringbone denim and chambrays from the clothing collections. The G-Star Footwear Spring/Summer 2016 collection will be available in stores and online in February. E

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WORDS: THINA MTHEMBU. SOURCES: LAMEEZ MOHD; NJABULO MNGOMEZULU; FASHION SNOOPS. IMAGES: VIVID LUXURY, CAPACITY RELATIONS.

Forever New announced the global launch of the Kendall + Kylie Collection, exclusively available at selected Forever New stores in South Africa and internationally.

The two Jenner sisters designed their limited 19-piece capsule of directional party looks, which offers a balance between sharp tailoring and soft, feminine silhouettes. “We’ve created a collection that reflects our personal style and we are excited to be partnering with Forever New to bring these pieces to the Republic of South Africa,” say the sisters. The Kendall + Kylie Collection is available at Forever New Stores in Sandton, Menlyn, Gateway and V&A Waterfront.

ESSAYS OF AFRICA

2015/12/11 2:09 PM

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EOA FASHION

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2 Sexy

SEVEN

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1. GREEN NECKPIECE, R299, ZARA. 2. MULTICOLOUR JEWEL STACK RING, R999.95, TED BAKER. 3.18-CT GOLD PEAR-SHAPED MORGANITE RING, R29 999, ARTHUR KAPLAN. 4. LEATHER BRACELET, R1 150 AND CHARMS FROM R420 TO R2 450, ENDLESS JEWELLERY. 5.TOM FORD NUDE SUNGLASSES, FROM R5 200, SMD EYEWEAR. 6. JODY SUNRAY DIAL WATCH (RHODIUM), R349, FOREVER NEW. 7. ROSE GOLD PLATED PETITE DROP EARRINGS CREATED WITH SWAROVSKI CRYSTALS, R499, MIGLIO.

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WORDS: TEBATJO MANAMELA. IMAGES SUPPLIED BY STOCKISTS.

A touch of bling can brighten any day.

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Shopping

FASHION EOA

Gladiators KNEE-HIGH Two different ways to make the most of your favourite knee-high gladiators.

GUCCI SUNGLASSES, R2 465, SAFILO. TOM FORD SUNGLASSES, R5 200, SDM EYEWEAR.

18CT WHITE GOLD BLACK, WHITE & GREY DIAMOND DROP EARRINGS, R49 999, ARTHUR KAPLAN.

BROWN HAT, R139, MRP.

V-NECK BLACK AND WHITE DRESS, R799, LABEL FEMME, SPREE.

DRIVER’S WATCH, R179, COTTON ON.

FLORAL DRESS, R4 999, TIGER OF SWEDEN.

WORDS: TUMI MDLULI. IMAGES: SUPPLIED BY STOCKISTS.

HEAD ACCESSORY, R159, ZARA.

STALLION FOLDER CLUTCH, R1 199, TAKE CHARGE.

BROWN TASSEL BAG, R1 499, ZARA. KNEE-HIGH GLADIATOR SANDALS, R1 499, ZARA.

KNEE-HIGH GLADIATOR SANDALS, R1 499, ZARA.

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Shopping

EOA FASHION

pencil skirt

PRISTINE IN A

Take the demure look of your pencil skirt up a notch by wearing it with a casual blazer and a pair of heels, or even sneakers.

CHAIN EARRINGS EARRINGS, R249, MANGO.

MULTIPLE CHAIN DROP EARRINGS, R299, MANGO.

BLACK CROSSBODY, R759, ZARA.

WATERFALL BEAD NECKLACE, R399, MANGO.

WHITE DRAWSTRING SHIRT, SUZANNE BETRO, R245, SPREE.

CROPPED TOP, R299, ZARA.

METAL WIDE CUFF, R299, MANGO MANGO.

BLACK CROSSBODY, R759, ZARA.

RAELA RED LEATHER SHOES, R1 399, STEVE MADDEN.

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BLUE AND GREY SKIRT PENCIL SKIRT, R2 500, KAREN MILLEN.

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SHINY BLACK SNEAKERS, R3 499, TIGER OF SWEDEN.

BLUE AND GREY SKIRT PENCIL SKIRT, R2 500, KAREN MILLEN.

WORDS: TUMI MDLULI. IMAGES: SUPPLIED BY STOCKISTS.

LAPEL ENVELOPE CLUTCH, R349, MANGO.

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REAL WOMAN EOA yeleti Mangotlo is the founding managing director of Curvy Star Fashion, a mobile boutique for plus-size women.

She currently works with three other local designers to create simple, elegant and stylish outfits for full-figured women. Originally from the missionary village of Valdezia in Limpopo province, Mangotlo has always had a flair for fashion. She learned a lot from her grandmother, whose style and elegance came through in the outfits she made for herself. Mangotlo admits that she admired her grandmother immensely for the way she loved her curvaceous body. Her aunt also provided her with fashion inspiration and made her her first custom outfits for her matric farewell.

Mangotlo enjoyed cutting out the pages of magazines that featured plus-size fashion. Her current designers are the same women who have always designed her custom outfits. Mangotlo was always asked where she bought her clothes and that inspired her to to start Curvy Fashion Star.

In January 2014 Mangotlo starting collecting materials for the first Curvy Star Fashion Collection and 18 months later, she hosted her first fashion show to launch the Curvy Star Fashion brand at the Protea Hotel Samrand.

She says, “Running Curvy Star Fashion is a huge responsibility. It is not about selling a piece of fabric. It is about really partnering with these women and winning their trust. It is about making outfits that women can wear to express themselves and improve their moods; outfits to be their best self. It is such a humbling experience to be able to touch the lives of so many powerful women.”

Mangotlo says that finding her own body confidence has also been part of the inspiration behind Curvy Star Fashion. “If I can have the energy to bully myself into fads and diets, why not use the same energy and focus on dressing well and loving myself?” In every situation, Mongotlo’s mantra is: It’s okay, just breathe and be aware! E

FLORAL SHIRT DRESS, R2 499, ZUI. NUDE HEELS, R2 350, CASTELO.

In Charge POWER LOOKS FOR A DAY AT THE OFFICE

E SSAYS OF A F R I C A

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CAMI STRAPPY WOVEN TOP, R279. CITY CHIC. DRAPED BLAZER, R599, CITY CHIC. SUEDE SLITHER HEELS (PURPLE), R1 299, STEVE MADDEN. FLORAL SKIRT, R599, CITY CHIC.

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REAL WOMAN EOA

SO SMITTEN CROP TOP, R479, CITY CHIC. SO SMITTEN SKIRT, R549, CITY CHIC. PETITE HEELS, R1 450, CASTELO.

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PHOTOGRAPHER: GARETH JACOBS. STYLIST: TUMI MDLULI. ASSISTANT: TEBATJO MANAMELA. HAIR & MAKE-UP: LUCOH MHLONGO.

EOA REAL WOMAN

VINTAGE VERONA DRESS, R699, CITY CHIC. ULIAWEN HEELS, R999, ALDO. BOW BABY BELT, R199, CITY CHIC.

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E SSAYS OF A F R I C A

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Shopping

EOA FASHION

THE RIGHT BACKDROP FOR YOUR LOOK Prints have become a fashion staple and the best way to enhance them is with plain colours.

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5 1. BOW SILVER RING WITH PEARL, R999, PANDORA. 2. FAYE GRAFFITI PRINT PUMPS WITH YELLOW TASSELS, R3 600, PRETTY BALLERINAS. 3. TASSEL EARRINGS, R159, ZARA. 4. TASSEL LEATHER SKIRT, R659, ZARA. 5. PURSE, R799, TAKE CHARGE. 6. MULTI-PRINT/MULTI-COLOUR STRAP KIMONO-STYLE DRESS, R579, RIVER ISLAND, EDGARS.

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WORDS: TUMI MDLULI. IMAGES: SUPPLIED BY STOCKISTS.

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ESSAYS OF AFRICA

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Experience a beautiful way of balancing your body's energy centres!

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2015/12/11 4:02 PM

Shopping

EOA FASHION

White and gold are still popular colours to wear together, whether you’re at a wedding, a picnic or enjoying a great night out.

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1. ROUND DIAMANTÉ STUD EARRINGS, R29, MRP. 2. ENAMEL BUTTON ULTRAFINE CUFF, R660, TED BAKER. 3. WHITE BAG, R379, ZARA. 4. SUNGLASSES, R4 675, SAFILO. 5. WHITE SANDALS, R899, 95, DUNE LONDON, EDGARS. 6. MIDI V-NECK PROM DRESS (PORCELAIN), R1 499, FOREVER NEW. 7. GOLD WATCH, R5 000, CALVIN KLEIN, ARTHUR KAPLAN.

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Shopping

FASHION EOA

Oversized shirts are trending and how you wear these will determine how good you look. Try them with a well-fitting pair of jeans or simply make them into shirtdresses.

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1. AUDREY CROSS BODY, R1 500, PRINGLE OF SCOTLAND. 2. SHIRT DRESS, R139, MRP. 3. BROWN SUNGLASSES, R2 465, SAFILO. 4. BROWN LEATHER SANDAL, R899.95, DUNE LONDON, EDGARS. 5. BLUE JEANS, R559, ZARA. 6. MULTI-STRAND LEATHER BRACELET, R549, MIGLIO.

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BAG it’s in the

Lilian Muhammed decided to leave a successful career in fashion working with top brands to create a brand of her own – Londré Tan. Q: Tell us more about who Lilian Muhammed is and how your journey into fashion started?

I am a Christian, wife, mother, and a fashion and style enthusiast. I started my fashion career in 2005 as a junior fashion stylist for Nigeria’s only style agency then, while studying for a B.Sc. in Mass Communication at the University of Lagos, Nigeria.

In 2006, when I was 20 years old, the company let me handle major projects such as styling the first Idols West Africa TV show and Deal or No Deal Nigeria, and managing two major fashion columns at True Love West Africa.

After graduation, I decided to relocate to my second home South Africa – where my mom is from. Since then, I have had the opportunity to be a freelance fashion assistant for O magazine and MTN commercials, a style judge for Channel O, fashion contributor for Planet Radio TV and a few other projects.

I joined Cosmopolitan magazine SA in 2009, starting off as a fashion assistant where I styled and managed all fashion shoots in Johannesburg, and later became the junior fashion editor of the magazine.

Q: What made you decide to go into the business of making handbags?

With fashion styling and consultancy being a passion and career for me from day one, I was keen to grow in other areas of the industry. I have always been obsessed with handbags and have no limit to spending when I see one I genuinely love. The first day I walked into a leather tannery and studio, I knew I was made for this. The smell of the leather, the artisan process, and everything in that room made me feel like a kid in a candy store. The idea of making it a business also came from the fact that

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I wanted to contribute to the African retail industry.

We have so many raw products to explore here, but many people still rely on imported products. I want to be a part of the people who take African fashion to the world map; I want South Africa to be among the top countries known for producing luxury fashion goods, and I want Africans to get used to the idea of buying things made locally on the continent.

“The smell of the leather, the artisan process, and everything in that room made me feel like a kid in a candy store.”

Q: Tell us about the Londré Tan brand.

The preparation and planning for Londré Tan started early 2014 and the brand was launched in 2015, with our slogan being ‘home of fashion accessories made with love in South Africa’. True to our brand ethos, we source all products locally and manufacture them here in South Africa, promoting the ‘make local, buy local’ goal.

Q: What have been some of the challenges of starting up your own business, especially selling luxury goods?

My biggest challenges have been putting together the right team and having the resources available to me at all times, including materials, tanneries meeting deadlines and other vendors working with our deadlines. Another challenge has been purchasing power. A lot of young South Africans love fashion

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G

FASHION INTERVIEW EOA

LILIAN MUHAMMED

accessories and bags, but are also price conscious. I started Londré Tan with the aim of it being a luxury brand and I have successfully cornered my target market. However, there are many people who genuinely want to buy my products but cannot afford them, so I am working on a new collection launching very soon, called LDT, which is for the younger Londré Tan woman.

Q: Who is the Londré Tan woman? Who are you targeting?

The Londré Tan woman is a confident, strong and fearless working-class woman, living in a cosmopolitan city. She appreciates great quality and enjoys treating herself to beautiful things. The LDT woman is young, stylish and a cool kid on a small budget.

COMPILED BY: ZAMA NKOSI. IMAGES SUPPLIED BY LILIAN MUHAMMED.

Q: What makes your product unique and why should people look out for it?

I believe strongly in excellence, quality and style and I incorporate that into my brand. My bags are not massproduced; they are hand-stitched perfectly, making each one a masterpiece.

Q: How has your Nigerian heritage influenced your fashion tastes?

Growing up there has influenced my fashion and style taste a lot. Nigeria is a very glamorous country with plenty of fashion lovers who are very exposed to the international fashion industry and quality. I was also a part of that environment so that glamour and creativity pops in when I am sketching or producing fashion pieces.

Q: How do you balance being a business owner with being a mother of two boys?

Kids will always be kids and boys will always be boys.

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Their energy levels increase by the day. For me, it is very important that I dedicate office hours to work and home time to them. The days I bring work home, I end up doing half of it or nothing at all. So I dedicate my early mornings and evenings to my family and office hours to work – that way nothing suffers.

Q: What is the mantra that motivates you to keep going?

My mantra is from the Bible! Philippians 4:13 says ‘For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.’

So when I am tired, discouraged or feel overworked, I always say it out loud to myself and that’s always the energy source and formula that gives me joy and gets me back on my feet.

Q: What fashion tips do you have for women who love bags but don’t know how to pick the best ones?

If you can afford it, buy it in real leather! Leather is like fine wine. The longer it stays the more beautiful it becomes. I also believe leather bags should be cherished forever and passed on to your kids. Vintage leather bags are constantly making a name for themselves.

Leather is skin and does not damage. You can always replace the zips and other accessories if damaged, but the leather will last forever. So take it as an investment when buying one. E

Follow Londré Tan on londretan. com or follow the brand on Facebook: londretan, Twitter: @londretan and Instagram: londretan.

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TANK TOP (MUSTARD), R569, TOPSHOP. TAILORED SKIRT (ORANGE), R649, TOPSHOP. ROLESVILLE CLUTCH, R699, ALDO. AFRICAN BURN HIGH HEELS, R2 250, CASTELO.

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FASHION main EOA

the

finishing touches

A fashionable handbag paired with the perfect shoe is a simple way to shift your outfit from stylish to sophisticated.

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MODERN RASPBERRY SATCHEL, R699, STEVE MADDEN. ULIAWEN HIGH HEELS, R999, ALDO. NETTED TUTU SKIRT, R4 199, TED BAKER, STUTTAFORDS.

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FASHION main EOA

NAVY SHIRT PLAYSUIT, R1 299, TOPSHOP. ASTILAWEN HIGH HEELS, R549, CALL IT SPRING. TIFFANY CLUTCH, R349, CALL IT SPRING.

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SUNSHINE LACE-TRIM CAMI, R449, SISSY BOY, STUTTAFORDS. SUEDE SHORTS, R599, MANGO. LANEY LACE-UP, R1 999, STUTTAFORDS. METAL BAR MINI TOTE, R2 999, TED BAKER, STUTTAFORDS.

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FASHION main EOA

The only BS I need is bags and shoes!

MUSTARD BLAZER, R999, TOPSHOP. BLACK SHORTS, R889, TOPSHOP. 3 TUBE HIGH HEELS, R2 450, CASTELO. BLACK HANDBAG, R749, TOPSHOP. BLACK EMBELLISHED TANK TOP, R699, GUESS.

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PHOTOGRAPHER: GARETH JACOBS. STYLIST: TUMI MDLULI. ASISSTANT: TEBATJO MANAMELA. MAKE-UP ARTIST: LUCOH MHLONGO. MODEL: SHALATI MASEKANE.

CORK PLATFORM SANDALS, R2 250, CASTELO. CORAL ADRIANA CROSSBODY, R399, PIERRE CARDIN, STUTTAFORDS. DRESS COLORI, R999, MANGO.

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WORDS: TEBATJO MANAMELA. IMAGES: SUPPLIED BY STOCKISTS.

ESSENCE GEL LOOK PLUMPING TOP COAT, R29.95, CLICKS.

L’OR AL COLOR RICHE NAIL POLISH 209 INGENUOUSS, R59.95, DIS-CHEM.

ESSAYS OF AFRICA

2015/12/11 5:45 PM

sponsored advertorial EOA

a Silverscreen stayover hatever your reason for passing through Johannesburg, the trendy, upmarket Protea Hotel Fire & Ice! at the heart of the popular Melrose Arch Precinct is certainly the place to be seen – and to be spotted!

With much-talked-about design focusing on the stars of the silver screen – Marlon Brando, Marilyn Monroe and Audrey Hepburn, amongst other celebrities of a bygone era – as well as iconic Johannesburg imagery – the Protea Hotel Fire & Ice! has entrenched its position as a top Johannesburg location for both leisure and business.

The restaurant is known to take the lead in top-notch food trends around the city, so pamper your palate until it begs for more. Try out some of the fabulous ‘adult’ milkshakes, signature drinks associated with this funky hotel brand that has set the social scene alight. On the fun side of life, the hotel offers a range of quality entertainment options, from the DJ Warm-up sessions on Thursday, Friday and Saturday evenings, to the sumptuous Sunday afternoon High SocieTEA. These events draw the city’s beautiful people, who have made both the hotel and the exciting Melrose Arch Precinct their own.

Spend the night in one of the 197 luxury rooms, where you will be pampered and indulged until all your senses are left tingling. Step outside and splash out on a few days of fun, shopping and good food before making your way to your next destination – possibly a safari to see the Big Five!

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2016/01/08 8:49 AM

Mother, daughter, sister, aunt, friend, businesswoman and prayer warrior are some of the titles that Savita Mbuli proudly wears in her everyday life. She gives EOA a glimpse into the woman behind the name.

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COVER STORY EOA

he first time I meet Savita Mbuli is at the Protea Fire & Ice Hotel in Melrose Arch, Johannesburg, and she’s a picture of grace and calm. Wearing a colourful summer dress with flats, she’s make-up free and her hair cascades over her shoulders. She possesses the type of beauty that is captivating, even without a trace of cosmetics. There’s also a quiet confidence about her – a trait, I later learn, that has come about from having to be sure of who she is, especially in the last two-and-a-half years.

At our next meeting to conduct the interview, Savita’s striking beauty is evident yet again without any enhancement. This time she is wearing a kaftan with her hair swept up, as she shows me to one of the lounges in her Houghton home. The quiet confidence is still there as we get caught up in conversation.

If the tabloids, Sunday newspapers and magazines are to be believed, Savita is a diva. “To be honest with you, I wish someone would explain what the obsession is with me. In 2013, the year that Vuyo died, my name appeared as the most Googled woman. I didn’t ask for this attention; I don’t appreciate it and I just don’t understand it,” she says emphatically. “In the beginning I thought the media and public attention was due to Vuyo’s sudden passing and because I was the only remaining link to him. I’m a private person and always have been, so this [interest in me] is odd for me,” she admits.

“I promised myself that nothing else would change and our lifestyle would remain the same. We were not going to move homes, change schools, and we would still go on holiday.

The only change was going to be that Vuyo, in his physical form, was no longer with us.”

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MINDING HER BUSINESS

What doesn’t often make headlines is Savita’s outstanding business acumen. She owns the media and events company, Growth Media. The media space isn’t new for Savita, who started out working at Radio Ciskei in 1994. “I love my work; it affords me the comfort to accommodate things that are important to me, such as fetching my kids from school, attending their extramural activities and being able to still go to prayer meetings, evensong and mass weekdays,” she explains.

Savita’s company manages communications for government and large corporates alike. “I’ve been in communications since 1998 and I ran a communications company with Vuyo. In 2009 we didn’t agree on business strategy and went our separate ways when it came to that,” she admits, adding, “He wanted more, but I’m not a big risk-taker and I was happy with where I was.”

The project leader of every project that her company runs, Savita says she owes a lot of her success in business to being hands-on. “I know exactly what is happening. I don’t micromanage my staff, but want to be in the loop. One of my strengths is that I know what to do on every level of the business and I am not

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scared to get my hands dirty, so I can do whatever is required,” she states confidently.

Savita has a team of six and she’s made great business connections over the years. “I have worked with big brands like the IEC, most government departments, and multinationals such as Nestlé. I make sure I deliver to clients’ expectations, which is why I’ve been able to do what I do for so long.”

“One of my strengths is that I know what to do on every level of the business and I am not scared to get my hands dirty, so I can do whatever is required.”

BY THE LOOKS OF THINGS

One of the main talking points surrounding Savita is her weight gain and loss over the years. When I ask if she knows what the cause of her initial weight gain was, she confesses with a laugh, “You know, I never worried about being fat, because it didn’t bother me at all.”

Attributing her weight gain to enjoying food and being an excellent cook, she says, “I love grand occasions like proper Sunday lunch and beautiful breakfasts. Our life revolved around food. We celebrated a lot over food and in this home alone we have six dining areas.”

Savita would always cook up a storm while her husband would read to her. “I never felt self-conscious about not ‘having a size’, as my good friend David Tlale made sure I was beautifully draped in his designs,” she admits. “I have also always been very confident in my beauty. I had a man who adored me, wonderful kids, and I was just not bothered about weight. My life was perfect.”

Between 2006 and 2009, Savita underwent 13 surgical procedures for persistent calcification of her kidneys. When her father was diagnosed with end-stage kidney failure in 2009, Savita realised that she had to focus on her health too. “I weighed 132kg at my heaviest and theatre nurses had a red sticker on my file because I was a highrisk patient due to my weight,” she admits.

She turned a corner in 2010 when she heard about the 13-Day Diet from her brother. “I started doing it religiously and the weight came off. I also started working out with a personal trainer and cycling, even doing The Argus Cycle Tour in 2013,” she shares. Savita lost a total of 52kg – a huge feat by any standards. Thankfully, she hasn’t had any kidney issues since then. “This year, I plan on going back to my trainer and losing the last 15kg,” she adds.

THE END OF AN ERA

Savita married in 1995 at the young age of 22 and literally went from her father’s house to that of her husband. “I have never been alone and never had my own townhouse where I could eat store-bought meals because I had no one to care for. So this is new to me,” she explains.

Her life changed completely with the death of her husband in 2013. “Before then I had no debit orders and I didn’t know how much petrol cost because he would fill up all the cars on Sundays. There was a lot that I just did not know. I was very protected my whole life, first by my dad and then by my husband. My life was a fairytale for the longest time,” she explains.

After a life with few worries, Savita suddenly had to not only deal with the heartbreak of her husband’s sudden death, but also estate issues, single parenthood and the constant media scrutiny. “Initially

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“There was a lot that I just did not know. I was very protected my whole life, first by my dad and then by my husband. My life was a fairytale for the longest time.”

I just got on with it,” she says. “I had to take care of my children and make sure they were emotionally well.

A year after Vuyo’s passing I had breakfast with my Bishop, who asked how I was doing. I honestly didn’t know how I was. Since Vuyo’s passing, all I’ve been is a handler and a fixer – handling this and fixing that – it hasn’t been easy.”

Savita made the commitment during that time that her children’s lives remain as consistent as possible.

“It was hard enough that Vuyo was no longer with us, so I promised myself that nothing else would change and our lifestyle would remain the same. We were not going to move homes, change schools, and we would still go on holiday. The only change was that Vuyo, in his physical form, was no longer with us,” she explains.

She has managed to keep that promise and because of that strength, her kids are thriving and have reached a place in their lives where they can speak about their father without crying. It has taken almost three years for her husband’s estate to be settled, but Savita says, “We are doing very well; we have really come a long way.”

A RAINBOW ON THE HORIZON

The New Year represents the start of a new chapter in life. Her children are a bit older now so Savita has more time to herself. “I’m really excited about this new beginning because, for the first time in my life, I will get to live my life as just Savita. In reality, it’s the first time that I will be a single adult.”

Her plans include furthering her studies in economics. “My daughter is in matric this year and I want us all to study together. It’s been important for me that we remain a tight-knit family.”

She is also in a good spiritual space and wants to continue giving back to her community. “When I’m asked what my vision for the year is, it is to be an instrument of peace. I’m always involved in reconciliation. I believe that’s my gift from God,” she confesses. “I do a lot of work providing spiritual support and guidance to friends and people around me.

No matter how much I’ve endured, I wake up every day and thank God. I am grateful for the things I have and the life I’ve been blessed with. I am where I am because God wanted me here.

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WORDS: ZAMA NKOSI. PHOTOGRAPHER: GARETH JACOBS. STYLIST: TUMI MDLULI. HAIR & MAKE-UP: XXX. DRESSED BY: XXX. LOCATION: PROTEA FIRE & ICE MELROSE ARCH.

“When I’m asked what my vision for the year is, it is to be an instrument of peace.

I’m always involved in reconciliation. I believe that’s my gift from God.”

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SElf-EMPOWERMENT EOA

REVIEW YOUR

resolutions The time to set New Year’s resolutions has come and gone, which makes this a great moment to spot whether your resolutions will bring you happiness or set you up for failure.

or most people the start of the New Year brings with it heaps of excitement and an unrivalled enthusiasm to make lasting changes to our lives. Eagerly jotting down ways in which we can improve our lives as of 1 January is often a symbolic cleaning of the slate, but soon many of these resolutions become mere broken promises and reminders of our failed reform.

But just because we are already heading for February and more or less settled into 2016, it doesn’t mean we should give up on turning over that brand new leaf and living our best life to date.

According to consciousness coach, Tshepiso Ramotsehoa, “New beginnings are awesome. They are a fresh start for us to create the momentum to achieve everything we want.” She adds, “But new beginnings don’t have a specific timeframe or context for them to be valid. You could start a new beginning at 2pm on any Wednesday afternoon. You don’t have to wait for Monday morning or a new month; a new beginning is what and when you say it is.”

ARE YOU INTO IT? “What makes a resolution effective is how connected you are to it, how it moves you

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and, most importantly, what your intention is when setting it,” Ramotsehoa explains, adding that our intentions fuel our actions and thinking in a subconscious manner, so we need to be aware of the energy and space we’re setting them from.

“For example, if you’re setting a goal from a negative intention, it’s going to be difficult to follow through because the goal itself won’t be able to inspire or enthuse you on days when you don’t feel like going to the gym or sticking to an eating plan,” Ramotsehoa advises. “The more inspiring and positive your intention is, the higher the possibility of you sticking with your resolution.”

But what if you’ve tried resolutions before and they’ve left you feeling defeated? Is it possible that resolutions are just not for everyone? Ramotsehoa concurs: “New Year’s resolutions are not for you if you haven’t chosen your goal with the right intention, or if you’re doing it to please others.”

How do you know if you’re a peoplepleaser, or if what you’ve written on your list will bring you closer to the happiness you’re seeking?

“Make sure your resolution serves your highest purpose,” suggests Ramotsehoa.

“The worst thing you can do is commit yourself to a resolution imposed on you by other people. This type of resolution will leave you depleted, frustrated and resentful because it won’t be an authentic

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EOA SELF-EMPOWERMENT have a clear vision and direction for the things they want to achieve and may choose other methodologies to support them and keep them on track.” Her advice is to use whatever method, tools or support system most resonates with you and your strengths.

“You don’t have to do things the conventional way,” she adds. “There are various ways to connect with what you want to move into action. Do what works for you!”

“The more inspiring and positive your intention is, the higher the possibility of you sticking with your resolution.”

representation of what you want to create and achieve for yourself. And even if you reach it, you won’t feel like you truly achieved something that meant a lot to you.”

It’s with this in mind that Ramotsehoa believes resolutions “serve as a roadmap for all the awesome things we wish for in the New Year”, but not making any resolutions does not mean you will not have a fruitful year. Instead, she says, “Some people

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The little lies we tell ourselves can sometimes seem harmless until they blow up in our faces. It’s important to think about what it is you want and why you want it. Mampho Molefe (37) says that she sometimes feels like she should want certain things. “There are things that most people want that I sometimes feel under pressure to want. A lot of people my age are working on their MBAs and it was my goal to do the same in 2015, but halfway through the year I realised I didn’t even really want an MBA,” she admits.

The resolutions that will make you feel bad about yourself are those that you don’t resonate with, the ones you don’t really want, and the ones that are not in line with how you truly see yourself.

This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t set goals for yourself, but make them rooted in truth.

For example, if you’ve accepted yourself as an overweight person or a broke person, chances are that until you change your mindset, no amount of resolutions will yield the desired results. At the end of the day, only you can make an informed decision about whether New Year’s resolutions will be good or bad for you. But as Ramotsehoa says: “Resolutions are a great way to create a context for the year ahead and think about what you want to achieve in your relationships, career or health. But you need to make sure your intention for them is inspiring enough to carry you through the tough days.” Good luck! E

WORDS: HELEN HERIMBI. IMAGE: ©ISTOCK.COM.

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When she was young her dream was to be an actress, but being business savvy led Dr Anna Mokgokong into the world where she still stands out as a shining star.

DR ANNA MOKGOKONG

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MY JOURNEY EOA

Born for

WORDS: BULELWA MOKORI. IMAGES SUPPLIED BY DR ANNA MOKGOKONG.

BUSINESS orn into a family of six, Dr Anna Mokgokong’s first interaction with an inspirational woman was with her mother who came from a poor background in the Eastern Cape. “She taught me to multiskill myself. She was a professional, but excelled as a mother and housewife,” Dr Mokgokong recalls. “This, to me, meant that you actually can create that perfect balance.” Her father provided her with inspiration of a different kind. “He was one of the most resilient people. He taught me to be fearless,” she explains. “He was a talented scientist and mathematics teacher and he also excelled in sports. He used to box at the University of Fort Hare with the late President Nelson Mandela,” she adds.

Dr Mokgokang’s family left South Africa for Swaziland in 1959 where she did her schooling. It was at this early age that her entrepreneurial spirit started to shine through. “From a tender age in primary school, I used to sell sandwiches,” she recalls. “I did it for pocket money and learnt that running your own business requires hard work and perseverance.”

MOVING ON UP Her parents wanted her to become a doctor, which is how she went on to complete her Bachelor of Science degree at the University of Botswana before going to Medunsa to complete her MBChB. “In 1981, whilst studying medicine, I started a business selling handbags and belts to my fellow students and residents at Medunsa. Through a contact in Swaziland, I was given R40 000 worth of stock. The business became a huge success and diversified to include African clothing and curios,” she explains.

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However, the lecturers at medical school did not like the fact that she was running a lucrative business whilst studying and tried to persuade her to drop her business interest and focus on her studies, as she was one of the top-performing students at Medunsa. “I continued with my business and by the time I completed my medical degree I was able to sell my business for R150 000,” she admits, adding that she used this capital to establish the Hebron Medical Centre in North West province.

Overcoming significant obstacles, Dr Mokgonang built the centre from a zerobase into a primary healthcare and baby welfare clinic with over 40 000 patients.

It was during this time that she realised that there were real opportunities in the healthcare arena and established Malesa Investment Holdings, which later became Community Investment Holdings – a 100 percent black-owned company with investments within the key areas of health, technology and logistics. “I remember vividly when I started I could not even afford school fees for the children and had to pass the plate around for contributions.

My uncle, Professor Ephraim Mokgokong, acquired a Ford Venture vehicle to transport my kids to school as a contribution to the welfare of all the grandchildren.”

GROUNDED BY FAMILY Dr Mokgokong is a single mother not only to her own two biological children, but to the family and community as well. “On the one hand, I have achieved success. I started from very humble beginnings and I have managed to build a business worth R1 billion. But on the other hand, the life I lead is very skewed towards work. I work long hours, sometimes seven days a week,”

she admits. She adds that she gets fidgety when she’s too relaxed. “My challenge is the high pressure and adrenaline rush I face each morning. I never know where I will be the next day due to the dynamic programme and responsibilities I have.”

When she does find some leisure time, the doctor enjoys cooking. “I love cooking family dinners with favourite dishes that include chicken, vegetables and salads, soups and baking. I also love interior decorating, moving things around the home, and entertaining guests.” When it comes to travel, Dr Mokgokong’s destination of choice is home. “My grandchildren from my nieces and nephews think I’m a ‘cool gogo’.

They get terribly spoilt when they visit, and we boogie and dance together. They copy my dance moves,” she says with a laugh.

BELIEVING IN YOUR DREAMS Today, Community Investment Holdings, which she jointly owns with business partner Joe Madungandaba, is one of the most successful companies of its kind in the country. When asked how she believes she became successful, Dr Mokgokong admits to having always been ambitious and the expectations on her to be a high achiever. “You must believe in yourself – that you’re the best,” she emphasises. “As a Christian, I also have strong spiritual support.

Every day I pray that I will be able to use my potential to the fullest,” she adds.

Her advice to other women who seek success is simple: be positive, think ahead and remain focused. “There are so many distractions that women have to define their vision – that is one of the keys to success. My dream is to establish an institute of entrepreneurship for women.” E

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orn to parents who divorced when she was still very young, Nothemba Kula shares how she, as a young, certified ‘delinquent’ and purposeless teenager, blossomed into a woman her mother would forever be proud of. Of her childhood, Kula says, “When I observed my mother asking for sugar from the neighbours, renting a room in someone’s house and sowing her underwear so she could save enough to take us to school, I vowed that her investment will never go to waste.” From then on, Kula made it a point to live a profitable life that would have her mother singing Cece Winans’ cover, It was not easy, but it was worth it.

Now a motivational speaker, life coach and mentor with a mad passion for personal development, Kula says, “I am a firm believer in the fact that the greatest investment you can ever make is in yourself.” It is obvious that she believes strongly in self-empowerment and as a committed Christian, she believes that her personal faith became an ‘oxygen mask’ and God was the oxygen provider in her life, helping her to give life to others.

Having been happily married to the ‘hottest man’ in South Africa for 12 years, Kula says she’s proven to herself that marriage is what you make of it. She joyfully adds, “My husband [Dumani Kula] is without doubt one of the most influential people in my life. I have watched him work hard and give of himself selflessly to our family. I want my son to grow up and be like him one day.”

A WORD TO THE LADIES “I discovered a long time ago that you need to celebrate your own victories.

Why wait until you’re 73 with arthritis, diabetes and hypertension before you receive a lifetime achievement award?

Award yourself your own lifetime achievement award! Buy your own certificate and frame it! There is no vacancy in the motivational section of my life – I motivate my own self!

Even the Bible says ‘David encouraged himself in the Lord’. (1 Sam. 30:6)” ~ Nothemba Kula

THE BIRTH OF KINGDOM DEVELOPMENT INITIATIVE (KDI) Together the Kulas co-founded KDI, a space for improving partnership and collaboration between Faith Based organisations (FBOs) in Southern Africa. KDI assists FBOs to be agents of community development and social impact. They broker partnerships between FBOs to broaden their reach and amplify their impact by focusing on what can be achieved collectively rather than individually. Kula explains that she and her husband have both served in various leadership capacities, both in the church and in business. With their combined business leadership and partnership skills, it was indeed only natural that they would experiment with models of improving partnership and collaboration in the church.

She adds, “The truth is the church has made headlines for the wrong reasons in SA

recently, and we are determined to change that narrative by demonstrating through KDI, the added value that churches can have in community development if they work together.” Kula continues, “As such, KDI provides funding for health, education and arts projects implemented by churches that are willing to collaborate for the benefit of poor communities across SA We are looking to establish a ‘Kingdom Development Bank’ in the future, which will be the leading Development Agency for the Church in Southern Africa.”

A BREAKFAST OF PRAYER If you take a look at the premier events in the Johannesburg Christian Calendar, you will most likely come across The Kingdom Prayer Breakfast. According to Kula, these high-impact, motivational sessions include networking opportunities and practical tools for effective living and provide power-packed intercessory prayer that leaves women fully charged and ready to make a change. The event draws in businesswomen, single and married, as well as ministers and pastors from all dominations. “We are a serious bunch, but we also have lots of fun and laughter and our photography sessions at the end of each event bring out the divas in us!” Kula adds with a laugh.

Like with any other business, the Kulas have faced their share of challenges, such as people who are more interested in what they can gain from the partnership rather than what they can give. Sadly, Kula admits that few people have moved beyond the ‘what’s

UNITED IN GOD FOR A BETTER COMMUNITY Build and believe in yourself. So says Nothemba Kula, who firmly trusts that you’re the best there is and ever will be; all you have to do is trust and believe in God and yourself.

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WOMEN’S NETWORK EOA WORDS: THINA MTHEMBU. IMAGES: SUPPLIED BY NOTHEMBA KULA.

in it for me?’ approach. They have since learnt that building capacity is critical to ensure that investments are put to good use. “We are very generous people,” she confesses, “but in some instances we erred by helping people more than they wanted to be helped! So we ended up shouldering their responsibilities, when they were the ones who stood to benefit.” In their business model, and the current programmes the Kulas fund, there is a strict requirement that individuals and organisations take financial risks and demonstrate commitment and initiative. “We learnt that the hard way,” Kula says.

Apart from the breakfast prayer sessions, Kula also writes a daily devotional on Facebook called ‘Facepiration’ – when Facebook collides with Biblical inspiration. She has received overwhelming feedback from people all over the country in the few months since starting the devotional. “It is so fulfilling to realise there are people out there who find strength and courage to overcome their struggles through the small things we do. After all, isn’t that what life is about?

“The extent to which your life is profitable or successful depends on the size of the investment you have made in yourself.”

Nothemba Kula SPREADING THE WORD The aim is to have 1 000 women attending these sessions by December 2016 and eventually to host an annual National Prayer Breakfast by 2018. There is already a 2016 calendar with all the sessions planned. Women who would like to get involved can contact the KDI office by sending an email to info@kdinitiative.com , visiting www.kdinitiative. com or sending a message via the Facebook page Kingdom Development Imitative . E

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THE BOOK LADY,

BISILA BOKOKO Bisila Bokoko grew up in a home where reading was encouraged. Now she is giving that gift back to people in different parts of the African continent.

orn in Valencia, Spain, to parents from Equatorial Guinea, Bisila Bokoko fell in love with Ghana when she first set foot there five years ago. As she spent time in the West African country, she realised that there were no books recording its beautiful history. And so her dream to share books started to take shape. The chief of the village Kokofu, near Kumasi in Ghana, presented her with the title of ‘Queen’ and a piece of land for her to do with whatever she wanted. Bokoko chose to build a library for the community on the land and this project birthed the The Bisila Bokoko African Literacy Project (BBALP).

THE GIFT OF KNOWLEDGE Bokoko personally funds the BBALP and uses her contacts to acquire donations of books. She gets about 20 000 books from Spain alone and Zimbabwe and Equatorial Guinea, amongst other countries, are her biggest supporters. The work that Bokoko was doing had such a positive effect on the Ghanaian village where she started that she decided to spread the project to other countries on the continent.

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According to Bokoko, the best part about what she does comes in the form of the feedback she gets from the different communities she works with. “Some of the things that keep me going are instances such as a boy in Malawi who, after spending time reading and doing research in one of my libraries, built a windmill that led to the process of producing electricity for his community,” Bokoko explains.

“Similarly,” she adds, “a lady from Zimbabwe who went on to become a photographer and did her internship in Germany expressed her gratitude for the work we do.” The BBALP has even spread to Thabazimbi in Limpopo province of SA. “Most of the schools in this area don’t have paper for books, so that is my next project,” Bokoko says, explaining that most projects take about six months to complete with most of the libraries being built on school premises for effective management by the schools.

THE GIFT OF INSPIRATION One of the major challenges faced by the BBALP is the transportation of

books – a costly exercise. However, Bokoko remains undeterred. As part of her initiative to inspire the locals in the communities, she has friends accompanying her on school visits.

“When travelling to schools to do motivational speeches for learners,” she explains, “I bring along friends in different occupations so that the children know that there are more options for their future than typical childhood choices of teacher, doctor or nurse.”

Even with a jam-packed schedule, Bokoko lives with passion and makes it a point to enjoy the journey even when times are tough. “It’s all about the way you carry yourself and how you feel in your own skin,” she says as she shares her personal motto, “It’s never too late and it’s never too early.”

For more information on the Bisila Bokoko African Literacy Project, visit bbalp.org and see how you can get involved. E

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PROFILE EOA

WORDS: THINA MTHEMBU. PHOTOGRAPHER: VICTOR CUCART.

“The work that Bokoko was doing had such a positive effect on the Ghanaian village where she started that she decided to spread the project to other countries on the continent.”

BISILA BOKOKO

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have always been an active person. I love sports and have played various sports over the course of my life. In 2013, I took up cycling as something new to do and after my morning jog on 10 September 2014 I decided to go for a quick cycle to stretch my legs.

As I was cycling downhill, the brakes on my bicycle failed and in that moment life as I knew it changed. My bicycle hit the pavement and was launched into mid-air. I then crashed against the University of Johannesburg’s (UJ) rugby stadium’s palisade wall. The sound of the impact I made as I hit the wall made people come outside to see what had just happened. My injuries were severe; I sustained a head injury, dislocated my spinal cord, broke two ribs and punctured a lung.

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PALESA MANALENG

PARALYSED

BY A CYCLING ACCIDENT Palesa Manaleng opens up about a cycling accident that paralysed her from her belly button down.

BACK TO SPORTS I spent a lot of time in hospital thinking about what I could do to bring joy and purpose to my life again and sports was the answer. I made contact with numerous organisations and have received sponsorships that have aided me with my passion for sports. Thanks to these sponsorships, I own a hand-cycle and have been competing in cycle races.

The longest distance I have cycled with my hands is 111km for the Dome-2-Dome

cycle race. I’ve also taken part in the ParaCycling Road UCI World Cup. I also row, and run the 100m and 400m wheelchair track for University of Johannesburg. My life continues to be full and even though I no longer plan too far into the future since my accident, I do live in the moment and do my best. Meeting other people who are living their best lives despite their injuries has inspired me and I hope to do the same wherever I go. E

WORDS: PALESA MANALENG. IMAGE: JAY CORBOZ.

I spent four months in hospital and during that time doctors would ask me to do simple things like wiggle my toes. To me, it felt like I was wiggling my toes, but nothing was happening.

When the doctors told me that I would not walk again, I simply did not believe it; I thought I would prove them wrong with time. I was so sure that they were wrong that it took me two weeks before I could even cry about the fact that I was paralysed.

My time in hospital was all about learning; everything I had known before had changed and there was now a new way of doing things. I also learnt other painful lessons during that time.

The people I thought would be there for me for the most part were not. Even though I was lying on a bed, face up, unable to move, people still managed to make my accident about them. I knew then, at my most vulnerable, that I needed to learn to have my own back because I would be in trouble if I didn’t.

It took a while for me to accept my situation and a year later, I still have difficult moments. However, I made the decision to accept my new situation because not accepting it meant giving up on my life.

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NEWS REPORT EOA

when love

k lls

In a month that celebrates romance and love, and shops are filled to the brim with roses, chocolates and silky red lingerie, almost 90 women will be murdered in their homes. EOA looks at the realities of femicide. he country woke up to the news of the brutal killing of Reeva Steenkamp at the hands of, Paralympian and national hero, Oscar Pistorius, on Valentine’s Day 2012. Although headlines were dominated by the daily spectacle of her famous killer in the months and years that followed, the incident finally put the spotlight on a grim reality we rarely talk about: the most dangerous place for a woman to be is in the home.

South Africa is a country rife with intimate-partner violence, with femicide the most extreme consequence. The vast majority of women murdered in this country die at the hands of their husbands, lovers and partners. Though media were quick to point out that Steenkamp was only one of at least three women killed by their partners that day, the other victims remained nameless and faceless.

THE COST OF PATRIARCHY Intimate-partner violence is a scourge that plagues thousands of women throughout the country; it cuts across all socio-economic divides and is endemic to a culture of toxic gender inequality, with the bodies of women paying the ultimate price.

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Feminist author Diana Russell coined the term ‘femicide’ at the International Tribunal of Crimes Against Women in 1976, to emphasise the fact that women are often killed for no better reason than being female. As noted by independent researcher and gender activist, Lisa Vetten, gender has a significant influence on violent behaviour. According to Vetten, women experience a different type of violence to that of men; they are vulnerable to sexual assault and domestic violence in a way that men are not.

Women are most often victimised by men and more likely to be blamed in some way for their victimisation.

Intimate-partner femicide refers to the killing of women by male partners – be they former or current. To call it female homicide is a misnomer, as it does not speak to the culture of violence against women that is bred by patriarchy. The term seeks to address a pattern of abuse that is found in homes across the world; although each case is rooted in a specific context, they are inextricably linked to a thread of sexism and misogyny, whereby women are viewed as property – to be owned, exchanged, discarded or abused.

EVERY EIGHT HOURS A national study by the South African Medical Research Council (SAMRC)

revealed that our rate of femicide is five times higher than the global average. Prior to the first study undertaken by the Gender and Health Research Unit in 1999, little was known about the phenomenon in South Africa and no monitoring systems were in place.

Naeemah Abrahams, a senior scientist at the Gender and Health Research Unit, was part of the team that undertook a follow-up study 10 years later in order to track whether or not national efforts to curb violence against women had reduced the rate of intimate femicide. Their findings were dismal. The study showed that while homicide in South Africa is declining, gender-based homicides are disproportionately resistant to change, while rape homicides have proportionately increased.

Abrahams sees this as a direct result of the patriarchal nature of our society. “Aggressive masculinity in our society is normative,” says Abrahams, adding, “Status is given to men who demonstrate toughness.” She believes that until boys are provided with alternative, non-aggressive masculinities, they will continue to grow up feeling entitled to women’s bodies and asserting their dominance through violence.

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EOA NEWS REPORT

“A national study by the South African Medical Research Council revealed that our rate of femicide is five times higher than the global average.”

On paper, we have a constitution that enshrines the rights of women, with some of the toughest laws on domestic abuse in the world. Yet in reality, we have among the highest rates of rape, abuse and murder of women. Most alarmingly, there has been little improvement in the police investigation of cases, allowing a culture of impunity to flourish. Less than 38 percent of femicides in South Africa lead to a conviction in under two years.

Although Reeva Steenkamp’s killer was not convicted of femicide, his much-publicised trial revealed an alarming prevalence of fear in their relationship. In a Whatsapp conversation sent less than three weeks before her death, Steenkamp wrote: “I’m scared of you sometimes and how you snap at me.” Other messages disclosed that she felt “picked on”, “attacked” and upset by his “jealous tantrums”. Ironically, she had added her voice to the national outcry in the wake of 17-year-old Anene Booysen’s shocking rape, mutilation and murder that took place that same fateful month.

Most women killed by their partner in South Africa were in a long-term abusive relationship. Yet the study conducted by the SAMRC found that SAPS dockets don’t usually record a history of partner violence in cases of intimate femicide, despite research showing that this is very common and valuable in securing a conviction. According to their report, the first act of violence against a woman at the hands of her partner is seldom fatal, thus there is almost always a history of abuse.

GLOBAL PANDEMIC While the situation here is dire, we are certainly not alone. About 66 000 women and girls are violently killed every year, according to a 2012 report by the Small Arms Survey. The World Health Organisation estimates that one in three women experiences physical or sexual violence by an intimate partner in her lifetime.

It is a global phenomenon that historically has been hidden,

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ignored, and accepted. In the US, rates of femicide increased during the rise of women’s liberation. It is indelibly tied to a macho culture, where men feel emasculated by female empowerment and thus seek to reassert their masculinity and dominance.

Last year, Amnesty International observed that there has been a vicious global backlash 20 years after the adoption of the Beijing Declaration in 1995, which promised to protect and promote women’s rights around the world. With misogyny, sexism and the objectification of women so pervasive, it is no wonder that male entitlement runs such a deadly seam.

TALLYING THE DEAD Femicide is rarely tracked by government agencies. Frustrated by this dismal lack of awareness, a woman in the UK started to keep track of all women killed by men in her country. Karen Ingala Smith has tallied up news reports of dead women since 2012, creating the UK’s only public record of femicide through her blog, Counting Dead Women. Smith sees her work as vital for understanding patterns of violence against women, stating that femicide is part of a much bigger societal problem ingrained in the core of our culture.

Her blog opens with a New Year’s Day text received by 20-yearold Kirsty Treloar from her boyfriend, promising to never hit her again. The next day he broke into her family’s home and dragged her into the back of his mother’s car, stabbing her brother and sister as they tried to help. She was found dead two miles away, after being stabbed 29 times. In the first three days of 2012 in the UK, eight women were brutally murdered by their partners. Smith recorded the gruesome details so that their names would not be forgotten, and has not stopped since.

The greatest threat to our lives is not an evil masked intruder, but our own husbands, boyfriends and lovers.

Violence against women can no longer be considered a private affair. E

WORDS: CARYN THANDI PETERSEN. IMAGE: ©ISTOCK.COM.

A ROUGH PLACE TO BE A WOMAN

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RELATIONSHIPS EOA

the real deal about customary marriages his year South Africa celebrates 20 years of its constitution, which at its core protects every individual’s rights, dignity and equality. A customary marriage is a union that is entered into and concluded in accordance with customary law.

Customary law means customs and usages traditionally observed among the black, Indian and Muslim citizens of South Africa and which form part of their cultures.

Customary marriages are governed by the Recognition of Customary Marriage Act 120 of 1998 (the RCMA) which came into operation on 15 November 2000.

The RCMA applies to marriages that were entered into before that date, and those that were entered into thereafter.

LEGAL REQUIREMENTS FOR ENTERING INTO A CUSTOMARY MARRIAGE All customary marriages before 15 November 2000 are automatically legally recognised. For marriages after 15 November 2000, there are three requirements that must be met before the marriage can be legally recognised.

1. The couple must both be 18 or older.

2. The parties must consent to be married to each other in terms of customary law.

3. The marriage must be entered into and celebrated in terms of customary law. This process is called the handing over of the bride to the groom’s family.

THE CASE OF THE CONCUBINE A concubine refers to a woman who lives with a man under the mistaken belief that they are legally married, but due to a legal defect they are not. The sad reality is that women suffer the consequences of non-legal compliance, while men are very rarely negatively affected. It is important that women educate themselves about customary marriage and the law.

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The legal implications of marriage, and especially African customary marriages, is far removed from the ‘moonlight and roses’ fantasy.

Family law specialist, Nthabiseng Monareng, explores customary marriages for South African women.

THE CHALLENGES The high level of ignorance amongst women regarding the legal framework of customary marriages, that means many women find that their customary marriages are not legally recognised due to non-compliance with the legal requirements. Some of the realities that women face include: 1. Failure To Hand Over The Bride There is still a belief that when a male partner pays lobolo or mahadi for his female partner and the two of them move in together and live as husband and wife, even without the female partner being formally handed over by her family to the male partner’s family, this constitutes marriage. This was the position before the RCMA, but is no longer valid.

Payment of lobolo or mahadi alone does not constitute customary marriage. This was confirmed by the South Gauteng High Court in the case of Motsoatsoa v Roro, where the judge said the following:

“One of the crucial elements of a customary marriage is the handing over of the bride by her family to her new family, namely that of the groom. As the man’s family gained a daughter through the marriage, the bride is invariably handed over to him at his family’s residence. The handingover process encompasses the most important aspect, associated with married state namely go laya or ukuyala in vernacular.

“This involves educating and counselling the bride and the groom by elders of their rights, duties and obligations, which a married state imposes on them. This is the most important and final step in the process of customary marriage. One can even describe this as the official seal in the African context of the customary marriage.

The handing over of the bride distinguishes mere cohabitation from marriage. Until the bride has been formally handed over to the groom’s family, there can be no valid customary marriage.”

As a result of the judgement, a female partner who moves in with her male partner, without following the prescribed requirements, is said to be handing herself over. In customary law a woman cannot hand herself over to the groom’s family and any such marriage will be regarded as a cohabitation relationship, which is currently not legally protected.

2. Non-Registration Of Customary Marriages In terms of the RCMA, spouses have a duty to register their customary marriage. within three months after the handing-over process has been conducted. If the threemonth period passes without registering the marriage, spouses have to apply to court for permission to register their marriage late. Although spouses have to register their marriage, non-registration does not invalidate the marriage.

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Problems that arise when a marriage isn’t registered: • Difficulty in proving the existence of the customary marriage.

This can cause conflict if, for example, the husband passes away and there is a dispute regarding the existence of the marriage, or if the marriage is unsuccessful and the wife wants to file for divorce. A registration certificate is required for a spouse to file for divorce.

• Before the Master of the High Court can appoint the surviving spouse as an executor of the deceased’s estate, the surviving spouse must produce a registration certificate.

• Where the husband has married another woman (either through civil marriage or customary marriage) without divorcing the first customary spouse, the Department of Home Affairs would unknowingly register the second marriage, as there is no record of the first customary marriage.

void, with no consequences for the man who is committing the act of marrying two women under customary marriage law. This scenario is rife and one of the biggest challenges that many second wives have to face. The second wife might marry a man who is also in a customary marriage that has not been registered. Often the first spouse from the customary marriage is not even aware of the second marriage, but this quickly becomes clear when, for example, the man dies and the customary law spouse reappears to claim her position as the legal wife.

If the first wife can prove that all the legal requirements were complied with and she and the husband never divorced, the second marriage will be cancelled. This often leaves the second wife humiliated, degraded and her dignity impaired, as she will be reduced from the status of a wife to a mere girlfriend.

“A civil marriage and a customary marriage can never co-exist, as one of the women will find themselves in an unlawful marriage.”

3. Dual Marriages A dual marriage refers to when a man who is married under customary law enters into a civil marriage with another woman, while the first marriage has not been registered with the Department of Home Affairs. There are many instances where the man hides his customary marriage status and then enters into a civil marriage with another woman. A man who is married according to civil law is not allowed to enter into another marriage with another woman until he divorces his first spouse. If he marries a second wife, he will be committing a crime known as bigamy.

However, when a man in a customary marriage chooses to marry another woman, it’s not believed to be a crime. Instead, the marriage of the subsequent wife will be declared null and

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THE LOWDOWN ON POLYGAMY

The RCMA makes allowances for a man to marry more than one woman, but to ensure the first wife’s rights are protected, the husband has to make a court application that will ensure that the first wife is not being cheated out of her rightful cut of the estate. Secondly, she must approve the new matrimonial property system that will regulate the new polygamous marriage.

If there is no court approval, the second wife will not be legally protected and her marriage will be regarded as null and void.

A polygamous marriage is a marriage where all spouses are married in terms of custom. A civil marriage and a customary marriage can never co-exist, as one of the women will find themselves in an unlawful marriage. E

WORDS: NTHABISENG MONARENG. IMAGES: PHOTOGRAPHYBYOBI.CO.UK.

EOA RELATIONSHIPS

ESSAYS OF AFRICA

2015/12/11 3:09 PM

SEX & INTiMaCY INTIMACY EOA

threesome

THE THRILL

Whether steamy and seductive, or fumbling and awkward, threesomes are often at the top of the list when couples want to experiment. If you’re considering sexing up your love life, we give you the lowdown on inviting a third person into your bedroom. andi* had been in a committed relationship with her boyfriend for four years and despite their inevitable ups and downs, she felt secure in the partnership. When she playfully let it slip one evening, after indulging in one too many glasses of chilled vino, that she may be interested in a ménage a trois, it introduced a seemingly harmless, yet ultimately insidious fixation to their relationship.

For her, it was a fleeting fancy. The thought of actually committing to it brought on an immediate sensation of dread. But seeing the excitement aroused in her boyfriend, she kept the fantasy alive. When he started

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bringing up names of possible partners for their sex triangle, it suddenly became too real for Nandi. She was overcome with feelings of jealousy and insecurity, which affected their intimacy and caused a near break-up.

For every steamy story about a three-way, there are dozens of tales like Nandi’s. Many couples fall prey to the Hollywood fantasy of a threesome, where spontaneity and sexiness meet in a sweet moment of serendipity. As with all things, the reality is quite different – from the silly to the sublime.

For some couples it can harness new levels of intimacy, playfulness and desire. If it’s something that turns you on, it’s worthwhile to explore it fully. But it’s probably best to keep a few things in mind before adding that plus one to your twosome.

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Sometimes having the fantasy is more fun than actually living it out. When it’s just a fantasy, you and your partner can dream up endless scenarios and details, watch threesome porn, or read erotic threesome stories. But when it’s a reality, you might have one saucy night to reminisce about or it could end in a flurry of awkward and uncomfortable memories. Take the time to carefully evaluate your reasons for trying it and make sure you think about your real feelings as opposed to the ones you have when you’re turned on.

2. HONESTY IS THE BEST POLICY Often we are not only dishonest with our partners, but also with ourselves. You may be denying your true feelings of jealousy or insecurity in order to be perceived as a strong individual, or assuage any feelings of guilt on behalf of your partner. If you have difficulty admitting that you experience negative emotions or avoid acknowledging feelings that make you feel weak, having a threesome with your partner may exacerbate the problem.

3. MUTUAL DECISION

4. ESTABLISH CLEAR BOUNDARIES If you’ve decided to go ahead with it, make sure you’re both crystal clear about what you’re looking for. Discuss what’s permissible and what not. Be clear and firm in what you both want, as there’s no room for martyrs in a threesome. Is your ‘guest’ going to play with only you, or is your partner also getting some of the action? Are you going all the way – whether this relates to penetrative sex or climaxing?

Or are you only sticking to foreplay? Is kissing okay with you? Will the third person stay the night, or leave directly after your sexy encounter? It’s also important to communicate these boundaries with the third person and discern their boundaries.

5. THE EXCITEMENT OF NEWNESS No one wants to hear it but you need to be prepared for your partner being potentially more enamoured with the other person in your bed or, on the flipside,

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6. STEER CLEAR OF FRIENDS There’s no undoing a threesome; bringing a friendship into the mix can make things extremely awkward and uncomfortable. Bottom line: you don’t want to lose a friend for one night of fun. If you’re on the fence about it, think through the possible scenarios and whether or not you could handle seeing your friend and partner together in an intimate environment. Unless you feel extremely confident that your friendship and relationship could withstand the possible strained outcomes of a threesome, it’s just not worth the risk.

7. SET UP SIGNALS Communicate throughout the process to stay connected. Come up with a code word or signal that you can use to let your partner know when it’s enough, or when you need a timeout from the action.

“Not only does pressure detract from sexual pleasure, coercion can destroy relationships and degrade self-esteem.”

Not only does pressure detract from sexual pleasure, coercion can destroy relationships and degrade self-esteem. If you want your threesome to be a mutually pleasurable experience, you and your partner need to be on the same page.

While it’s normal to have differing levels of comfort and enthusiasm, taking the time to discuss your concerns will help to ensure that one partner isn’t pressuring the other into the act.

february 2016

you being more excited by the person. It’s probably best to keep a level head and try not to take it too personally – in all likelihood it’s not that he prefers the new person more, but he or she is just new. While this fresh encounter is a novelty that will not last forever, your feeling like the second choice or the ugly stepsister may linger for far longer.

8. KEEP A CLEAR HEAD

Have a drink if you want to calm your nerves, but don’t get drunk. Being intoxicated makes it more difficult to make good decisions, plus you’re more likely to enjoy the experience if all your senses are heightened and alert.

9. TEST THE WATER You don’t have to go all the way the first time you hook up with a third person. You may want to dip a toe into the threesome waters by having a steamy snog or comforting cuddle before doing anything more serious. Take the opportunity to check in with your partner afterwards. See how you each felt, and if you want to continue moving forward with it.

10. BEWARE OF THE GREEN-EYED MONSTER Jealousy is unavoidable when engaging in threesomes.

If you care about your partner, some part of you is going to get fired up seeing his or her hands on someone else.

Latent feelings of insecurity can surface during or after an intense sexual experience. Most of us can’t help but compare our bodies, technique and performance with that of a third party and many of us worry, given a taste of novelty, that our lover will long for more from the other person. The challenge is figuring out if the uncomfortable feelings are worth the thrill. E * Name changed for privacy

WORDS: CARYN THANDI PETERSEN. IMAGE: ©iSTOCK.COM.

1. PRESERVING FANTASIES

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PARENTING EOA

BREASTFEEDING

CONFESSIONS

Loren Stow investigates the things moms never admit to anyone about breastfeeding.

e all know that breastfeeding is the best nutrition for a growing infant and that the benefits are outweigh any minor impracticalities like feeding in public, leaking boobs and even cracked nipples. But seriously, for some breastfeeding is magical and for others it’s an often painful sacrifice. Whatever your experience of breastfeeding, the following are some mothers’ true confessions about breastfeeding. We have omitted the names, but rest assured these are real moms and their real confessions about nursing their babies. You might even recognise one of these as your own!

Excuses, excuses!

• “Since my baby was four months, when I’ve really needed a break from breastfeeding, I’ve given her formula. It is rare, but I hate pumping and she bites a lot, so my nipples need a break.”

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• “I will use breastfeeding as a way to get out of chores like when dinner needs to be made – I will tell my husband that I need to feed the baby so he has to do dinner. Or even sometimes when we have people over and I am bored with the conversation, I’d rather go and breastfeed my baby and catch up on social media!”

• “I have breastfed at night and not even known it until I wake up with my bra undone and the baby latched on!”

• “I tell everyone that I am going to wean my baby at one year, but what I’m really going to do is wait for her to be ready to wean, even if she’s three or four years old…”

Coffee break • “I drink two cups of coffee every morning, even

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EOA PARENTING though I’m breastfeeding. It doesn’t seem to bother my baby, otherwise I’d obviously stop.”

• “I started to drink my nightly glass of wine when my baby was nine months old, even though I breastfed her until she was two. I would wait for her to go to sleep for the night and have my glass and she really never seemed to be affected at all. Now she is a happy six year old.”

• “When my baby was three months old I started to go to the nursery to put her to sleep, breastfeeding in the dark. At first it was annoying because it took so long – about an hour – but then I realised it was lovely uninterrupted time to myself… drinking some tea, reading a book, catching up on Facebook…

Nowadays I have to be careful or I’ll easily stay in there for two hours, with my baby fast asleep and my poor boyfriend in the lounge all by himself.”

Experimental sessions • “I breastfeed my toddler in really weird positions and I also use it to calm temper tantrums. I am sure many people would not agree with this!”

• “I used breastfeeding to put my baby to sleep – every single time. We also co-sleep.”

• “I wish my husband could breastfeed too!”

• “Even though I have plenty of milk, I’ve started to supplement with formula. My baby wants to eat all the time and I have two other children who need

my attention. It’s much easier to ask my mom or husband to feed the baby than explain to a four- and two-year-old why mommy can’t play with them at the moment. If he breastfeeds it’s every two hours, but if he bottle-feeds he will go for four hours.”

• “Once I shot some breast milk out my nipple to see how far it would go.”

Embarrassing moments • “I am nervous about breastfeeding in public. As much as I am champion for women’s rights, I have a hard time standing up for my own. Even though my baby needs to eat, I get very apologetic when I have to do it in public.”

• “I feel more comfortable breastfeeding in public with strangers around than in front of my or my partner’s families.”

• “I’ve spent years worrying about what other people will think or how they will react when I tell them that I chose not to breastfeed. I am not ashamed of my choice, but the reaction I’ve mostly gotten from people is shock, horror or pity – like I have an incurable disease or something! Now I pretend that I breastfed my babies, to avoid the judgement.”

• “I loved pretty much every moment of breastfeeding my babies. But I really wish my boobs would go back to how they once were. They have changed forever, and not in a good way.”

Mpho Mabitsela: I loved everything about it; the physical closeness with my baby and looking into each other's eyes during the feeds. I liked how my daughter would grab one of her feet during feeds and play with it like she is really enjoying the time.

Kholiwe Kaycia Sikhotha Great! I love breastfeeding. It surely strengthens the bond between me and my lovely son, and he’s enjoying it.‬ Charrity Chaz Mkhabela: I love the way she looks deep in my eyes with so much love on her face. She even lifts her one leg because it’s that good. Unfortunately, she refuses to drink from a bottle even if I express. She wants it from my boob and it is difficult when I want to go to a restaurant or church. I cover up, but my wardrobe is very limited.

Tshego Sebapu: I love how close I feel to my baby. I love that I feel good after every feed knowing my baby is well fed. I love manually expressing so my partner and daughters can feed our little one. I love the convenience that comes with breastfeeding. I DO NOT like it when my son bites, but find it funny when he laughs at me screaming.

Wonga Snovuyo Jass: I had terrible pain when I was breastfeeding! Some said I should have massaged my nipples before starting with breastfeeding. The pain got to a point I noticed I had sores on my nipples. I had to stop and heal for few days.

Lwandle Gwabe: It’s the greatest feeling. I love breastfeeding as it makes mommy and baby bond and watching the little angel suckling creates even more love.

Angie Nema: I have twin girls and I love every moment of breastfeeding, as that makes me bond more with them. I love it when they feed at the same time and they play with each other and stare into my eyes as if they want to see my reaction. I also express when I’m at work and the first thing I want to do when I get home is connect with them.

Kate Popona Opelong Letlotlo: Oh I loved every minute of it! It was a bit of struggle because I have twins and sometimes they both want to be fed at once. My partner had to balance the one twin and me the other, while I fed them both at once.

Thobeka Daki: I took a conscious decision to do it, and I am so glad and proud I did it for 18 months. I just didn’t like it when my breasts were full and leaking.

Victoria Gaotingwe: I like it when my baby suckles, but I hate it when my nipples start to crack. It is so painful.

Nomfundo Thandekile Mhlanga: I really like the moments I spend with my little girl and playing while I breastfed. My hubby was afraid to touch my breast until I asked him!

Busiswa Kwethani: I love it because it is the easiest and safest way to feeding the baby. The rate of infections in breastfed babies is low. I didn’t love it because the baby and mother cannot be separated for more than few hours.

Nonk’s Mazibuko: I love every minute of it, except when he bites me and laugh afterwards. It’s unfortunate that I’m cutting him off next month; otherwise it has been an awesome six-month experience.

Ndiyi La Ntombi: I’m not intending to, because I’m due in January and have to go back to school for my final year. But u guys make me want to breastfeed... #mom2be. E

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WORDS: LOREN STOW. IMAGE: ©ISTOCK.COM.

THE SECRET’S OUT!

Essays of A frica

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endometriosis &

infertility

Dr Antonio Rodrigues from Medfem Clinic in Johannesburg talks about endometriosis, a condition where the uterine lining (endometrium) grows on pelvic structures outside the uterine cavity.

n early-stage endometriosis there is usually little, if any, visible evidence of anatomical distortion sufficient to compromise the release of an egg (ovulation) or its transportation from the ovary to the Fallopian tube. In contrast, advanced endometriosis is characterised by the presence of pelvic adhesions sufficient to distort normal pelvic anatomy and interfere with fertilisation, as well as egg/embryo transportation mechanisms. Women who have this condition are much more likely to experience infertility.

There are several reasons for this: • In its most severe form, the condition is associated with scarring and adhesions in the pelvis, resulting in damage to, or blockage of, the Fallopian tubes, thereby preventing the union of sperm and eggs.

• Endometriosis is associated with the presence of toxins in peritoneal secretions. As sperm and egg(s) travel towards the Fallopian tubes, they are exposed to these toxins, which compromise the fertilisation process.

• It is also associated with abnormalities of the woman’s immune system, which interfere with the ability of the fertilised egg to attach (implant) to the uterine wall.

• It also has a negative effect on the mucous created by the cervix.

• In about 25 to 30 percent of cases, the condition is associated with ovulation dysfunction.

• There is even evidence that endometriosis itself is a symptom of an underlying hormonal imbalance which may be impacting on fertility.

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HEALTH EOA

COMPILED BY: DR RODRIGUES, ZAMA NKOSI. IMAGES: ©ISTOCK.COM.

I’M AN ENDO WARRIOR DIAGNOSIS

Grading endometriosis Endometriosis can only be identified and diagnosed during surgery, during which the extent of the disease is located and the amount of damage it has caused determined.

Factors that influence the outcome following fertility treatment In cases of severe endometriosis, pelvic/

tubal adhesions that interfere with egg transportation to the Fallopian tube and/or ovarian ‘chocolate’ endometriotic cysts (endometriomas) of the ovary certainly contribute to infertility. However, this does not explain the reduced chance of conceiving in women with mild to moderately severe endometriosis, where anatomical barriers to fertility are usually absent. We believe that the two key factors that explain the obstacles created by infertility are those related to its toxicity and its relationship with the immune system.

‘Toxins’ in the peritoneal fluid ‘Toxins’ that impair fertilisation of the egg are present in the peritoneal secretions of most women who have endometriosis. This explains why women with endometriosis are about three times less likely to conceive per month of trying, and why procedures such as intrauterine insemination do not substantially increase the chances of pregnancy over any treatment at all. It also explains why IVF improves pregnancy rates dramatically, making it the treatment of choice for most endometriosis patients who experience infertility.

TREATMENT Treatment should include surgery and improving the immune system. This includes managing time-urgency perfection stress (www.timeurgency.com).

Lopang Molope (32) was diagnosed with endometriosis in her early twenties.

Thinking back, she had probably been living with endometriosis for years before that and she knows the importance of positivity.

“In my teens that time of the month was pure torture. I remember my friends appearing to breeze through their monthlies, while my Aunt Flo felt like a fire brewing in my uterus.

My battle with endometriosis is ongoing and while the pain is unbearable, it is the other side effects we are unaware of that have almost stopped my life in its tracks at various stages. Ovulation feels like mini dragon’s dancing on my ovaries combined with a shooting pain that feels like daggers in my uterus.

“I experience PMS symptoms such as heavy and tender breasts and bloatedness for at least two weeks before my period, which is usually heavy and thick. No one told me that the pain would be so unbearable that I would find myself either curled up with a hot water bottle in bed or rolling on the floor trying to manage the pain.

“At the age of 32 and five surgeries later, I have had to learn how to live with this condition the best way I can, for myself. This involves pain management and being open and honest with family, partner and colleagues because there will be days when I can’t get out of bed. Endometriosis is not just painful menstruation; it comes with fatigue, painful urination and bowel movements, painful sex, possible infertility and lower back pain, and can lead to depression.

“My biggest challenge has been accepting that I may not be able to carry my own child. I live with it, I carry it with me and own it, and like millions of women around the world – my endo sisters that I have met online and whose stories I have read – I refuse to give up hope and pray that with more research, a cure will be found.” E Follow Lopang on Twitter @ MissLopi. E

LOPANG MOLOPE

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MONEY

MONEY MONEY Make 2016 your best financial year by following these simple guidelines… our purse may have taken strain over the festive season while you’ve only just survived January after paying school fees and shopping for stationery. But if you’re looking to stretch your rand more than ever – and make it count for the long term – we explore some strategies you can implement today that will go a long way in achieving these goals. After all, no one wants another year of constant stress and anxiety over debt and unpaid bills. By starting this month to save, spend and invest more wisely, you’ll have a brighter, lighter and altogether more fulfilling year than ever before.

1. BE HONEST ABOUT YOUR SITUATION The first thing you need is to have a good attitude towards handling your finances. Challenge yourself to improve your fiscal health.

Assess your situation and get serious about solving the challenges.

It’s important to remember that you can take control of your money; be intentional with it and know how it’s being used.

Start off by creating or updating your personal ‘net worth’ statement. Write down the value of everything you own, including savings and investment accounts, car, home, business interests, and personal property. Then list all of your debts including mortgage, car loan, credit card balances and student loans. Subtract what you owe from what you own to get your net worth. This gives you the big picture from which you can plan your next steps. It also provides a baseline so you can monitor your progress throughout the year.

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2. SET CLEAR, ATTAINABLE GOALS It’s important to be as specific and realistic as possible when setting financial goals. If you have a big-picture goal, such as buying a new house, it’s best not to be vague. Commit to saving a certain amount each month that will go towards this goal. The clearer you can be from the start, the more likely your saving methods will succeed.

3. DEVELOP A BUDGET AND STICK TO IT You’ve heard it before and you will hear it again because it is true and essential to financial freedom. Budgets are only as good as your ability to stick to them. Commit to taking a look at how you spend your money by itemising your monthly expenses and subtracting them from your income. If you need to cut back, prioritise your spending. Make savings a part of your budget.

4. GET ORGANISED A simple, easily accessible filing system can make every other resolution easier to keep. Set up either paper or electronic files for your financial and tax records, filing all your important documents – such as birth certificates, passports, loan documents, insurance policies – in a secure place. Also mark important financial dates on your calendar, such as the due dates for estimated taxes and property taxes.

5. CHALLENGE ALL EXPENSES Once you have a budget and clearly established goals, start to question where your money is going. Ask yourself if you really need all the bills and memberships you shell out for. Negotiate

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money EOA with yourself and find small ways to save, like eating out less or fixing up any issues in the house yourself. This works best if you have a partner, so if you don’t live with anyone, consider asking a family member or friend to work on this with you and stay motivated.

Y,

6. TACKLE DEBT Use 2016 to double down on your debt. Cut back on monthly spending so you can make just one or two extra payments on outstanding balances. Make it a priority to reduce outstanding debt this year, so you can start with a clean slate and stop giving away money to interest charges. Start by creating a debt-free timeline, as it’s the only way you can be financially successful.

7. BUILD AN EMERGENCY FUND

8. CREATE OR REVIEW YOUR ESTATE PLAN If you don’t have an estate plan, make this the year to set up one. Draw up a will and complete an advance healthcare directive. Review beneficiary designations on your retirement accounts and insurance policies – especially if you’ve had a life change like a new baby, divorce or marriage.

Make sure you have essentials such as health, car and household insurance, and that your coverage is appropriate for your needs.

Look into comprehensive life insurance if you have dependents. Premiums can vary widely by company and by the terms you select, so do some comparison-shopping to get the best option for your needs.

10. INVEST IN YOURSELF Realise that you are your greatest asset, so it’s important to invest accordingly, in terms of both time and money. Make 2016 the year that you choose to invest in your personal development and get out of your comfort zone. Learn something new, travel, take risks or practise your negotiating skills.

Rather than react to the changing times, plant some seeds now so that you can be proactive, stay in control of your career and remain competitive.

If you want to gain better control and find more success with your finances, there is no time like the present. Go for it; you can do it! E

WORDS: CARYN THANDI PETERSEN. IMAGE: ©ISTOCK.COM.

Strive to keep enough cash to cover three to six months’ expenses in an easily accessible account in case of a job loss or illness. It’s called an emergency fund for a reason!

“Budgets are only as good as your ability to stick to them.

Commit to taking a look at how you spend your money by itemising your monthly expenses and subtracting them from your income.”

9. REVIEW INSURANCE COVERAGE

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Q: What was your first business venture?

Talk us through your professional journey.

I started my career with Standard Chartered Bank, a great foundational company that taught me many business basics, including the mindset of custodianship of people’s monies.

My journey has been an exciting voyage of Africa. I once analysed the top 10 industry leaders in Zimbabwe and my own country, and an exciting revelation triggered my enthusiasm. These were amongst some of the well-respected captains of industry and renowned entrepreneurs. At least 70 percent of these somehow studied economics and also spent some considerable period working in an overseas market, either in Africa or the West. Since I already had a degree in economics, it became clear that I needed exposure and experience outside of the country.

Q: Why did you take interest in telecoms, banking and FMCG? I really didn’t choose FMCG per se; however, it has been a great training ground. Working at Celtel exposed me to the training of companies like Diaggeo, Coca-Cola, and Unilever, and the marketing experience these companies taught me will take me a lifetime to unpack.

Q: What is it like working across seven African markets?

The African continent remains one of the most attractive investment destinations in the world, with great, untapped potential as you move north from South Africa. As a continent with a population of over a billion people, there is scope for doing business in any industry. I treated each country as a distinct market with its own religious, political, tribal and political nuances, and worked with the local likeminded teams on transformation I deemed necessary to

create a lasting legacy. One of the simplest ways I was able to get the support of the teams was to share my five values of legacy, integrity, lifelong learning, work and profit with anyone I worked with. There was never any ambiguity about what my mission was and how I intended to achieve it.

Q: How have you overcome some of your biggest business challenges thus far?

My biggest challenge was to find a like-minded team to deliver our audacious objective; the talent was there but getting people to pull in one direction towards a common goal proved to be a mammoth task. After struggling to acquire the right talent, I eventually settled for what I thought was a ‘B’ team in terms of experience. However, this team delivered ‘A’ results because we managed to build a team of compatible people. I spent a lot of time balancing the conflicting business and personal interests, and telling teams that in business that there is no return on ego. I cherished the experience, though, because it deeply sharpened my emotional intelligence. I am grateful to the continent for allowing me to earn my second MBA.

Q: What have your favourite lessons been when it comes to business?

In every business there is one thing that drives the numbers; find it and pursue it with military precision.

Q: What words of advice do you have for those who would like to venture into business?

I am Pan African at heart and believe that young people need to broaden their horizons beyond their physical boundaries. With technological advancements and access to information at one’s fingertips, I believe Africa is now open for business.

HARVESTING BUSINESS SUCCESS ACROSS AFRICA Africa is ripe for the picking for those like Norman Moyo, who know just how to sow the right seed. february 2016

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MAN Q&A EOA COMPILED BY: HLULANI MASINGI. IMAGES SUPPLIED BY NORMAN MOYO.

Q: How do you relax and have fun?

I was introduced to golf 15 years ago and I have been in an affair with this sport ever since. It helps manage me my ego, teaches me patience, perseverance, discipline and gentility. When I am not with my family, I am having my ego bruised or massaged on the golf course!

Q: How do you maintain balance in your life?

I always try to take the higher ground to reduce my emotional dependency on an external environment. I stay clear from negative people and negative energy; I am a very optimistic person and try to do the right things all the time. This allows me to sleep well at night.

Q: What are the two top qualities that make a good leader?

Character – A good leader needs to have an exemplary character; they are trustworthy and live their life with honestly and integrity. A good leader walks the talk and in so doing, earns the right to assume responsibility for others.

Communication – God gave us two ears and one mouth for a good reason.

As a leader, one must listen... a lot.

Active listeners can bring out the full potential in their people and the organisation at large. They should be able to rally the organisation like a general going to war, ensuring all guns are aimed at the enemy and not at one other.

Q: If you weren’t in business, what line of work would you pursue?

I probably would be working on impacting the continent by galvanising some of Africa’s best talent and elevate them from CEOs to ministers and presidents. I recently launched my Pan Africa movement called AGIP. This movement of like-minded Africans comes together to support their own national governments in the creation of a better future for their children and following generations. We need to change the dialogue about Africa’s leaders from one of rich material for comedy to one of active participants who use their corporate experience to help governments succeed. E

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WHAT HAPPENS AFTER 9PM? The secrecy of living the down-low life, where men have sex with other men while not identifying as homosexual, is yet another indication of the complexity of sexuality.

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t’s nothing new; many men have sex with other men, secretly, often while in a relationship with a woman. In the US it’s called living on the down low and it gained mass attention in the early 2000s, when How Stella Got Her Groove Back author Terry McMillan appeared on Oprah to discuss her husband, Jonathan Plummer’s secret life of being with other men.

Locally, we call these men ‘After 9s’, a term which originated many years ago when men would dress up as women at night and meet in each other’s houses. Today, more correctly, it’s referred to as MSM or men who have sex with men. Interestingly, living ‘after 9’ certainly doesn’t automatically mean a man identifies as homosexual. It’s much more complex than that, as are the effects it can have on the man and his partner.

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MAN FEATURE EOA WHO IS THIS GUY?

WORDS: KIM GARNER. IMAGE: ©ISTOCK.COM.

“I’d say that upwards of 30 percent of men living on the down low do not identify as gay, or even bisexual,” says Glenn de Swart, senior technical consultant for Health4Men at the Anova Health Institute. It might be difficult to understand that someone who enjoys sex with a member of the same sex doesn’t see themselves as homosexual, but “it’s a matter of behaviour versus identity,” explains De Swart, “and they are different issues.”

Clinical psychologist Bradley Daniels agrees, “These men may identify with a heterosexual culture as in having a wife and kids, etc. They don’t prescribe to the same cultural norms and values as someone who identifies as gay or bisexual. For example, they won’t go to a gay bar. They are not part of that culture. They just enjoy having sex with men.” Essentially, the evidence points to the fact that having sex with men is something they ‘do’ and not something they ‘are’.

“Very often these sexual encounters are opportunistic,” explains De Swart. “Perhaps they had a few beers and things happened, often in a parking lot, or in a public bathroom. When two males get together the sexual energy is strong, and there’s a big power dynamic in this type of sex.”

“They also may tell themselves that the other man, in some way, seduced them, often stating ‘he is gay; I’m not.’ It could be transactional sex, for example payment for a taxi ride,” says De Swart.

But there are also those men who could be actively seeking out sex with other men.

Even if these men aren’t in relationships, the behaviour is usually kept under wraps and more often the covert nature of these encounters is more prevalent among black men. “As a white man, you are seen as part of the dominant ideology, so often it’s easier for these men to come out as gay or explore sex with men. They have resources and community to tap into,” explains Daniels. “But not everyone has that opportunity or set of circumstances. Often in rural communities, where acceptance or understanding from their community is not forthcoming, this behaviour is frowned upon.”

The shame these men might face if the truth should surface is too high a price to pay, says De Swart. “If their neighbours and family knew they were having sex with other men, while being in a relationship with a woman, it could result in them losing everything and being kicked out of their communities.”

BE CAUTIOUS While each person will identify differently sexually – and that’s perfectly okay, as this article is not focused on a man’s sexual identity, or choice of sexual partner – the health issues that could arise through the behaviour itself is what’s concerning. As De Swart mentions, “Often opportunistic behaviour, such as impromptu sexual encounters, may mean these men don’t always have access to condoms or lubricant, and that poses a risk of contracting an STD.”

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Further to that, because this intercourse usually happens secretly, men are not always prepared to share the truth with their doctors. Daniels says, “A man may visit the doctor and readily admit to having had sex with a woman and get checked in the groin area. But, these down-low men are unlikely to admit they had sex with a man, resulting in doctors not necessarily checking for other infections that could have been contracted anally or orally. A population of men is therefore falling outside of the healthcare system because their healthcare needs are being overlooked due to incorrect information that is being shared during doctor’s consultations.”

Along with the physical effects, there are emotional and mental tolls on the men who live this lifestyle. “It’s called ‘splitting’, where someone may feel a part of themselves isn’t ‘right’, and therefore won’t integrate that part completely into their everyday lives. They compartmentalise this part of their lives, and living with secrets can often lead to feelings of anxiety, guilt and low self-esteem,” explains De Swart.

WHAT WOMEN NEED TO KNOW But what if you’re a woman and you suspect your partner is one of those men with ‘after 9’ activities? Essentially, it’s still an affair, Daniels states, and is no different to a man having an affair with another woman, although it may be more difficult to accept. “In colloquial terms, women sometimes think: ‘I’d know what to do if the other person is another woman because I can compete with that. But how do I compete with another man?’” Daniels asks.

Whether you’ve been cheated on with someone from the same sex as you or the opposite sex, that betrayal is a process that you and your partner need to work through together, perhaps with the guidance of a counsellor or psychologist. “When someone has an affair in a relationship, it can be a learning curve to assess your relationship,” Daniels advises. “You can decide if you can reach a compromise. That’s not necessarily to stay together, but to establish a relationship that still works for the both of you.”

“Often opportunistic behaviour, such as impromptu sexual encounters, may mean these men don’t always have access to condoms or lubricant, and that poses a risk of contracting an STD.” DEALING WITH THE DOWN LOW Clinical psychologist Bradley Daniels gives advice on how to handle the situation and move forward if you’ve discovered your partner is living on the down low.

1. Be calm. Don’t bombard him with statements such as ‘so I hear you’re sleeping with men!’ Taking an intimidating stance is counterproductive. Wait until you’ve calmed down sufficiently to sit down with your partner and have a gentle, open conversation.

2. Seek help. A psychologist will help you to explore and normalise the desire, and help men understand what their behaviour is about, without judgement.

3. Stay open. Each situation is different. Some men will get to the point where they have courage to identify as gay, or they may never identify as such. Be open to him deciding his own identity and then you will have to make a decision about your role in the relationship.

4. Make choices together. In the end, the issue is the betrayal of being cheated on. Only you and your partner can decide how to get back to a trusting relationship. It is possible to move on, together or separately, in a healthy way. E Need help navigating this situation? Visit Anova Health Institute at www. anovahealth.co.za or Bradley R. Daniels at www.bradleyrdaniels.com.

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NEVER SHORT ON STYLE

CLINT STRAW FEDORA HAT (WHITE), R599, PRINGLE OF SCOTLAND.

WHITE FLORAL FILCOUPE SHIRT, R1 500, TED BAKER. GOLD BUTTON BLAZER (MID BLUE), R2 399, C SQUARED, SPREE. BLACK BELT, R599, BEN SHERMAN.

ERIC ONE-PLEAT SHORTS, R699, PRINGLE OF SCOTLAND, SPREE.

CHRONO MIDNIGHT SILVER WATCH, R5 999, NIXON, SPREE.

DENIM LOAFERS (DARK BLUE), R4 300, TED BAKER.

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MINI DESIGN SHORTS (NAVY), R1 995, TED BAKER.

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MAN SHOPPING EOA

For a look that oozes confidence and comfort combined with just the right amount of elegance…

CLINT STRAW FEDORA HAT (BLACK), R599, PRINGLE OF SCOTLAND.

CORPORAL LEATHER ROSE GOLD WATCH, R2 899, NIXON, SPREE.

WORDS: TEBATJO MANAMELA. IMAGES SUPPLIED BY STOCKISTS, PINTEREST.

MINI DESIGN BLAZER (BLUE), R4 300, TED BAKER.

NUDE SHORTS, R599, ZARA. WHITE FLORAL PRINT SHIRT, R1 600, TED BAKER.

LAYKE SHOES LACE UP BROGUE, R 1900, TED BAKER.

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T BAR TEE, R199, COTTON ON.

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WORDS: HLULANI MASINGI. SOURCES AND IMAGES: ©ISTOCK.COM, MEROPA, THE ZOE REPORT, BEAUTYSOUTHAFRICA.COM.

EOA BEAUTY & HEALTH NEWS

KEEPING COOL WITH LONG HAIR

Does the heat cramp your style when it comes to longer locks? Achieve a comfortable, sleek hairstyle during extreme temperatures in the following ways: Wrap it up – Tie your hair in a silk head wrap or in a turban.

Tall tails – Ponytails may be a bit sporty but they are feminine and simple to do.

In a knot – Keep your hair out of your face with a bun and add a little fascination with a flower or colourful pin.

CHOOSE A CLEANSE

Detoxing is often high on the list of New Year’s resolutions after weeks of indulging. Give your body a break from the daily pollutants and chemicals you ingest and try a reputable detox regime to restore balance in your body. Set the goals of improving digestion, boosting energy, improving mental clarity and inducing weight loss. Beautysouthafrica.com suggests you consider the following when embarking on a cleanse: • Don’t eat processed. Always cook your food from scratch. You can add herbs and spices for flavour.

• Reduce consumption of meat and eat a lot of fish.

• Avoid sugar in baked foods.

• Eat fruits and vegetables that contain antioxidants, such as berries, red and yellow bell peppers, beetroot, spinach and broccoli.

• Onions, garlic and eggs contain compounds that can naturally detox your body.

• Replace creamy and sugary beverages with herbal ones.

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SUMMER SKIN This is the season for heat waves and, while it is time to let your skin breathe, it’s still important to pay extra attention to your skin. It’s the largest organ of your body advises Dr Nicola Rains, a general practitioner at NHC Health Centres, and moderate exposure to the sun is a good source of Vitamin D. But over-exposure to the harmful UVA and UVB rays can cause serious damage to your skin and overall health, and it is best to stay out of the direct sun between 10am and 3pm. Regardless of age or gender, everyone should use a good quality sunscreen religiously, preferably one with a broad-spectrum – the higher the SPF, the stronger the protection. If your skin is particularly sensitive, a wide-brimmed hat is a great addition to your usual SPF. For more info, visit www.nhcltd.com. E

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main BEAUTY EOA

HAIR, MORE FLAIR! LESS

Say goodbye to unwanted hair with these hair removal methods for women. air removal is a subject that elicits strong opinions and there really isn’t a one-size-fits-all solution.

As something that most women have to contend with, some more so than others, there are many options available depending on your specific needs, duration of hairlessness required and pain tolerance, of course.

Whether you choose depilatory creams, shaving, waxing or new laser technologies, the choice can be overwhelming. You may even be considering permanent hair removal if you fancy a life free from razors, pungent creams, wax strips or embarrassing visits to the salon. We have compiled the advantages and disadvantages of each hair removal method so you can ultimately zero in on the method that best suits you.

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1. DEPILATORY CREAMS Also known as hair removal creams, these are available over the counter – no prescription needed. They all differ, so be sure to read the label before use. There are different creams for different parts of your body. For instance, you shouldn’t use a hair removal cream made for pubic hairs to remove your facial hairs.

The chemicals in these products dissolve the hair shaft and if you use the creams incorrectly or leave it on for too long you can burn your skin.

Advantages Of Depilatory Creams: Easy to apply and remove hair instantly.

• The method is painless and effective.

• Results last longer compared to shaving.

• Economical and easily available.

• The hair becomes thinner after each application.

• May be used in the shower or bath.

Disadvantages Of Depilatory Creams: • Can be messy.

• Must not be applied on broken or damaged skin, or skin with cuts, scrapes and burns.

• Should not be used daily.

• People with sensitive skin are advised

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• People with sensitive skin are advised against using these creams.

• Regular use may harm the skin, darken, tan and even burn it.

• They can be very pungent due to the chemicals they contain.

• Work best in removing finer hair. Not very effective on coarser hair.

• The creams are chemical-based products so there is a high risk of developing rashes, redness, allergy and skin burn.

2. SHAVING There are different ways to shave your unwanted hair.

You may use a blade or the small electric machines.

Shaving is affordable as the blades and machines are available at most retailers, are portable and can be used many times over. You can use a razor on wet skin and the shaver on dry skin. Shaving only removes the hair that is visible above the skin surface, and not the root of the hair.

Advantages Of Wet Shaving: • It’s easier to shave on wet skin. The razorblades glide over the surface which is usually lathered with a cream or shaving gel.

• Razors are suggested for legs, arms, underarms and bikini area.

• Razors will not cause chemical reactions with your skin.

• Razors come in different price ranges and are therefore affordable.

• The skin is exfoliated with every shave.

Disadvantages Of Wet Shaving: • You have to shave frequently to maintain soft, smooth skin.

• If your hair is coarse, especially in the bikini area, shaving can cause ingrown hairs. To minimise this risk, exfoliate the area, shave in the direction of the hair and keep the area moisturised.

3. WAXING Warm waxing involves spreading a thin layer of wax over the skin, then pressing a cloth or paper strip over the top of the wax and ripping the wax off along with the hair. Warm wax is easier to use than it used to be and is usually done on the legs, underarms, bikini line and face. It can be done

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in the comfort of your own home as the wax and strips can be purchased over the counter. Hot waxing can be very painful if it is not done by a professional at a salon. Best suited for bikini areas, it leaves your skin feeling smoother for longer than any other hair removal method. Ask your salon for instructions before going for your first wax (such as trimming your hair to one centimetre) to ensure a more comfortable treatment.

Advantages Of Warm Wax: • Hair regrowth is finer.

• Larger areas can be waxed at once.

•T he strips can be bought from the store.

• The procedure is quicker than hot waxing.

Disadvantages Of Warm Waxing: • It is more painful than hot waxing.

• Ingrown hairs may occur with regrowth.

• Skin reaction can sometimes be severe.

• Coarse hair might require more strips to have all the hair stripped from the roots.

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Advantages Of Hot Waxing: • It works well on small patches of strong, coarse hair.

• Great for intimate areas.

• It is a hygienic waxing process.

• The hot wax grips the hair better and removes it without leaving any behind.

• It is good for removing shorter hair.

• More suited to those with sensitive skin.

• It’s quick, more effective and leaves you with no hair for more than two weeks.

Disadvantages Of Hot Wax: • The hot wax may be too hot for your skin. Do tell your therapist if it is too hot!

• It is never easy for a first-timer as hot waxing is very painful.

• The application and removal of hot wax is slower as the wax needs to dry before removing it.

• It can be difficult to wax large areas using the hot-waxing method.

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EOA main BEAUTY

Permanent hair removal, also known as laser hair treatment, can liberate you from the rigours of daily shaving and expensive waxing. There are different treatments that can be done to permanently remove your hair. The course typically lasts between four to six treatments and voilà… all the hair is gone! The hair follicles are heated and killed, which permanently eradicates any hair. For the best results, you need to consult a professional therapist to have this treatment done.

Advantages Of Permanent Hair Removal: • The speed of the treatment is quick in comparison to electrolysis, which is time-consuming.

• The procedure is considered to be safe if performed properly by a professional.

• It can be considered to be less painful, depending on your skin sensitivity.

• The process works. Most people experience permanent hair reduction after the treatment.

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• The method is effective, especially when removing hair from larger areas, such as the back, legs and chest.

• Laser hair removal results in smooth skin and enhances beauty.

Disadvantages Of Permanent Hair Removal: • The FDA approves laser treatment for ‘permanent hair reduction’ and not ‘permanent hair removal’, meaning that one is to expect some regrowth.

• There can be minor side effects like itching and swelling, which will disappear after a few days. There can also be rare but serious side effects, such as burning, skin discolouration, infection and blistering.

• Several treatments are needed in order for you to see some results.

• Treatment is very expensive compared to waxing as you pay per appointment.

Whatever your preference, there is no rhyme or reason why you cannot tame those armpit hairs, groom your chin hairs or keep your bikini line in line… choose a method that suits you and get your hair to tow the line! E

WORDS: TUMI MDLULI. IMAGES: nailitsalon.co.za/waxing, shutterstock, newlifedayspa.net,

4. PERMANENT HAIR REMOVAL OR LASER HAIR TREATMENT

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new

our most loved make-up products, also available in darker shades!

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keep your hair on!

The key to making your wigs, hairpieces and hair extensions look great and last longer is as simple as proper care. See our tips on how you can keep your wearable hair fresh and fabulous.

HOW TO WASH YOUR HUMANHAIR WIG • Before washing, brush the wig through thoroughly but gently with a wig brush.

If you wig has tight curls, don’t brush it; rather use your fingers to gently remove the tangles.

• In a sink or basin, add a small amount of mild shampoo to cold water. Turn your wig inside out and immerse it, gently swirl and let it soak for at least five minutes.

• Rinse your wig through twice gently with cold water until the shampoo is completely removed.

• Wrap your wig in a towel and gently pat out excess water.

• Place your wig on a wig stand and let it air-dry thoroughly before you brush or comb it.

CONFIDENCE CREATES COMFORT Having the right attitude is the only way to pull off any hairstyle. If you spend all your time fidgeting and worrying about your wig, it won’t look good. Walk tall, be confident and own it!

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BEAUTY EOA ATTACHMENT ISSUES You’ve heard the horror stories of women whose hairpieces fall out. If you worry about keeping your wig on, know that there are tabs inside the wig that will allow you to fit it securely. For additional security, be friends with the following products: Cushion Band – This gel-filled headband keeps your wig in place and also relieves pressure points, resulting in an altogether more comfortable experience.

Wig Gripper – An adjustable headband made of fabric that adds friction around the hairline, the gripper prevents your wig from slipping.

Toupee Clips – These clips are secured to the wig and then clipped into your own hair to hold your wig in place.

WIG CARE Do: � Brush your wig before washing so that you can remove the tangles and product buildup. � Only use wig shampoo and other wig-care products. � Air-dry your wig by hanging it somewhere loosely.

WORDS: THINA MTHEMBU. IMAGES: ©ISTOCK.COM.

Don’t: X Never brush or touch your wig when it is wet from water, steam, rain, snow, perspiration or excessive spraying.

Prevent Fibre Damage: Avoid heat from boiling water, preheated ovens, curling irons, blow dryers, clothes dryers, cigarette lighters or braai grills. E

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Sexy

SEVEN

Revitalise your hair and keep it shiny, moist and healthy.

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5 1. DR MIRACLES NOURISHING CONDITIONER, R99.99, CLICKS. The coconut and jojoba oils condition and strengthen hair, and soften curls. 2. PALMER’S REPLENISHING HAIR MILK MASTER, R78.95, LARGE RETAIL STORES NATIONWIDE. Lightweight, non-greasy hair lotion that deeply penetrates hair and replaces natural oils. 3. ORS LUMINATING SPRAY, R89.99, RETAIL STORES NATIONWIDE. Formulated to control frizz and bring shine to dull hair. Helps reduce breakage and nourish the hair when applied to dry hair after styling. 4. PUREOLOGY SERIOUS COLOR CARE PURE VOLUME, R341, PUREOLOGY.CO.ZA. Delivers longlasting volume, lifts roots and thickens each strand by addressing the specific challenges of fine, colour-treated hair. 5. DARK AND LOVELY CHOCOLATE BROWN HAIR DYE, R69.99, RETAIL STORES NATIONWIDE. An anti-dryness formula with olive oil that conditions as it colours for a more intense and visible colour on dark hair. 6.

KARDASHIAN BEAUTY DRY SHAMPOO, R395, KARDASHIANS.CO.ZA. Revives limp, lifeless hair by instantly absorbing excess oil and impurities that weigh the hair down. 7. AFRI TRUE SOFTENING MULTI SPRAY, R34.95, CLICKS. Argan oil, glycerine and scalp-soothing active ingredients moisturise your hair and scalp, soothe braid tightness, and help reduce hair breakage.

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WORDS: TUMI MDLULI. IMAGES: SUPPLIED BY STOCKISTS.

EOA BEAUTY

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SOCIAL SCENE EOA

THE BELL & ROSS #AVIATIONADVENTURE Bell & Ross hosted high-profile South African retailers and journalists at a private airfield in Hekpoort on Thursday, 12 November 2015 for an unforgettable #AviationAdventure. Guests were received by the Bell & Ross South Africa team at the new Bell & Ross Boutique at Nelson Mandela Square, where they were handed their ‘boarding pass’ before being whisked away by luxury coach to the secret location. The event kicked off with a quick gourmet breakfast board, before those guests who had selected the flying option were treated to the rare opportunity of an adventurous flight in sought-after vintage aircraft. Guests who had opted to skydive were well on their way to 10 000 feet above the ground to do a tandem skydive.

While the planes refueled, guests were treated to a first-time ever, unplugged performance by JSomething and Carlo, before dining on a gourmet threecourse lunch prepared by Chef Ozzi, Masterchef 2014 semi-finalist. The day’s adventure culminated in the breathtaking unveiling of the Bell & Ross Slick 360 aerobatic plane, which will be flying in competitions during 2016. The day was a veritable tribute to the dynamic relationship between Bell & Ross South Africa and its esteemed partners, reinforced by the magical experience of planes, flying MASTERCHEF 2014 SEMI-FINALIST, CHEF OZZI and #aviationadventure. E

NEW BELL & ROSS SLICK 360 ACROBATIC PLANE

CARLA NAUDE FROM MONTRES DU MONDE

WORDS AND IMAGES: MONTRES DU MONDE.

FIRST-TIME EVER, UNPLUGGED PERFORMANCE BY JSOMETHING AND CARLO

TANDEM DIVE WITH GRAHAM FIELD AND HIS TEAM OF SKYDIVERS.

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IN THE WORLD OF

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ENTERTAINMENT Q&A EOA

Batsile Ramasodi came into the spotlight with his character, Mr Sokhulu on Generations, The Legacy (SABC1). Not a novice in the industry, he’s also worked as an MC, acted on Rhythm City (e.tv) and on a local reality show, Diamond in the Ruff.

Q: Why did you choose a career in entertainment?

There was a clear path set out for me from a very young age. I had to answer the calling and urge to communicate my feelings through performance art.

Q: Talk us through your journey as a performer.

It has definitely been a long and challenging journey and it is by no means over. I studied drama from Tshwane University of Technology (TUT) and found a job almost immediately after graduating. It wasn’t the job I always wanted, but I knew in order to learn and grow in the industry I would have to build myself up. I was a LIVE MC at a local casino and I still do it occasionally. Later, I did a few commercials and built solid relationships with corporates. It is not an easy industry; I went to several auditions and was rejected. Fame is not everything; motivation and perseverance will reap success.

Q: What mediums do you work in at the moment and what do you love about each of them?

WORDS: HLULANI MASINGI. IMAGES SUPPLIED BY BATSILE RAMASODI.

Q: What career goals do you have and how do you plan to achieve them?

My goals change and grow with every accomplishment and an increased understanding of my craft. I initially wanted to be the best actor the country has seen, but I realised I could accomplish that and so much more.

Getting a Ph.D. in drama and becoming an artistic director for one of our prestigious theatres is definitely one of my lifetime goals.

Q: Tell us about your proudest moments thus far.

My proudest moment happens every day when I wake up and realise that I have not given up. It’s a very

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Q: How do you define success?

My measure for success is my family and their happiness. If I am able to provide for my family and give them all they need in order to live a fulfilling life, then I am the most successful person in the world.

Those values help propel me forward and onward into the world.

Q: If you weren’t in entertainment, what line of work would you be in?

I would definitely be a teacher, although I don’t know what I’d be teaching. It is one of the few professions that can change the minds of individuals, and that inspires me.

“I’m never too big for anything or anyone. We all need each other to live in harmony.

That has always been my mantra.”

I love them all – it would be similar to me comparing my children and choosing a favourite. I enjoy television and film, but they are nothing compared to the instant gratification that comes with performing on stage in front of an audience. Generations Legacy was really my tipping point and seeing yourself in a film or on the TV screen is also really cool.

E ss ay s o f A fri c a

tough industry that makes you question how far are you willing to go and how long you are willing to cling on before being accepted. I’m proud to say I haven’t given up on myself yet.

Q: What are some of the challenges of your industry and how do you work around them?

The main challenge is not dwelling in rejection. If I am not chosen after an audition, then I understand that the brief isn’t about me. I’m happy that I tried my best.

Q: What’s your favourite way to unwind?

Going off to a remote beach with my wife for a week always relaxes me. If I can’t do that, then spending the day just being a couch potato does the trick.

Q: What keeps you grounded and focused on what you want?

My parents are firm yet humble people and I feel I take my values from them. I’m never too big for anything or anyone. We all need each other to live in harmony. That has always been my mantra.

Q: What is your advice for anyone who wants to be successful in your line of work?

Understand your craft and take time to learn about your industry. Be knowledgeable and always hone your craft. E

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FROM MY heart TO YOURS

CORIANDER BURGERS AND HOMEMADE CHIPS Ingredients

Eating delectable food doesn’t have to mean breaking the bank. Why not stay in this Valentine’s Day and treat yourself and your lover to these mouth-watering recipes from local foodie, Naledi Letsebe.

Burger patties: 750 g of mince 1 brown onion, finely grated 1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce ¼ cup coriander, finely chopped 1 cup breadcrumbs 1 egg, lightly whisked Salt and black pepper to taste 2 tbsp. cooking oil 6 hamburger buns, halved 3 medium-sized tomatoes, sliced 6 lettuce leaves 6 sliced red onion rings Cherry tomatoes for garnishing Chips: 6 potatoes, sliced and cut into strips 1 tbsp. olive oil 1 tsp. garlic salt Pinch of paprika, salt and black pepper Sauce: 1 cup English mustard 1 cup sweet chilli sauce 1 tbsp. lime juice Pinch of white pepper 1 tsp. fresh parsley, finely chopped

Method

Preheat oven to 220°C degrees. Mix all ingredients of the patty in a big bowl until evenly combined.

Divide the mixture into six portions and shape each portion into a patty. Fry the patties in oil until cooked through and set aside. Fry red onion rings until soft in the same oil as the patties. Set the halved hamburger buns in an oven tray, inside up and grill until golden brown. Use a freezer bag to mix the potatoes with the olive oil, garlic salt and spices. Remove chips from the bag and place onto oven tray in the oven. Mix the ingredients of the sauce together and spread each half of the buns with the sauce. Assemble burgers by starting with the lettuce, followed by the patty, tomato slice, the red onions and the top part of the bun. Garnish with a cherry tomato, using a toothpick. Serve with chips.

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FOOD & Entertaining EOA

CREAMED CURRY CHICKEN PASTA Ingredients

2 tbsp. cooking oil ½ onion, chopped finely 1 tsp. garlic 1½ tsp. curry paste 4 chicken fillets, cut into cubes ½ cup fresh cream ¼ cup parsley 1 packet of penne pasta Garlic bread for serving Greek salad for serving

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Method

Sauté onions and garlic in oil. Add curry paste and chicken and mix until the chicken is fully coated. Simmer until chicken is halfcooked. Add the cream and simmer until chicken has cooked through. Remove from heat and add half of the parsley, mix together and set aside. Boil pasta until al dente, mix chicken sauce with pasta and sprinkle the rest of the parsley over the top. Serve with garlic bread and Greek salad.

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FISH AND MUSHROOM PIE Ingredients

Mash: 8 potatoes, peeled, chopped 1 tbsp. butter ½ tsp. salt Pinch baking powder ½ cup milk ½ cup fresh cream ½ tsp. white pepper Fish: 3 tbsp. cooking oil 1 onions 1½ cups white mushrooms 6 hake medallions ½ tsp. nutmeg ½ tsp. white pepper ½ tsp. dry rosemary ½ tsp. dry origanum 1 tbsp. flour ½ cup milk ½ tsp. salt ½ cup fresh cream 1 cup cheddar cheese ¼ cup fresh parsley

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Black pepper to taste Sweetcorn

Method

Preheat oven to 180°C degrees. Boil potatoes until soft. Drain water completely and add butter, salt and baking powder. Mash potatoes until coarse and add milk and cream and mix until smooth. Add white pepper, mix and set aside. Sauté onion in the pan until soft, add mushrooms and mix. After five minutes, add hake and spices and cook for seven minutes until fish is half-cooked. Dissolve flour in milk, add to the pan and simmer for a further five minutes. Add the salt and after two minutes add the cream. After a minute, add half the chopped parsley – stir carefully so that the fish is not broken. Set aside. Take a casserole dish and empty the fish inside. Layer the mash on top of the fish until fully covered; mix cheese with the rest of the parsley and sprinkle over the mash. Grind some black pepper and place in the oven for 10 minutes or until cheese starts to brown. Serve with sweetcorn.

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FOOD & Entertaining EOA

VANILLA ICE CREAM CAKE Ingredients

1 tub soft vanilla ice cream ¼ cup pistachio nuts ¼ cup cashew nuts ¼ cup walnuts ¼ cup macadamia nuts 80 g red cherries 80 g green cherries A slab of chocolate of your choice

RECIPES: NALEDI LETSEBE. IMAGES: MUTSAI MUSA.

Method

Crush nuts and half of the cherries lightly. Mix with ice cream in a big bowl, but be careful not to over-mix because the ice cream will become watery. Scoop mixture into a silicone container and freeze overnight. Turn out frozen ice cream onto a serving plate and crumble chocolate over the top. Decorate with strawberries and the other half of the cherries.

For more cooking tips and to join Naledi’s cooking classes, visit www.nalis.co.za. E

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Everyone loves an elegant, serene space they can retreat to after a long, hot day, and nothing says stylish quite like a white bedroom.

Rhoda Davids spoke to dĂŠcor gurus, Adele Schmitz and Cathy McDaniel, from Salt in Durban to find out how to do white right.

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WORDS: RHODA DAVIDS. IMAGE: ©ISTOCK.COM.

DÉCOR FEATURE EOA

hite doesn’t have to be boring or cold; in fact, it can be very versatile, inviting and timeless, and the look will have much more longevity than a themed or trendy space.

FOUNDATION Decorating with white doesn’t have to be challenging – be inspired by this blank space. A warm white is the best choice for a bedroom.

“The first step to picking a white is deciding whether you want a warm white or a cool white. Warmer shades of white incorporate an undertone of yellow, while cool whites suggest a hint of blue, green, or gray,” says McDaniel. Keep the biggest surfaces in your bedroom in the same shade – for example, walls and ceilings in the same crisp colour will give the illusion of simplicity and add more height to the space.

White walls reflect light and create the perfect ambience for a timeless bedroom, so don’t shy away from white out of fear of impracticalities. “You may be thinking that white is harder to keep clean or that it shows dirt quickly, but used in a bedroom you’ll find white easy, uncluttered and simple to manage,” adds Schmitz.

WINNING COMBOS Achieve the perfect white-on-white balance by using lots of texture or patterns. Always remember that while soft, raised textures add more warmth, smooth, shiny objects will exude a cooler vibe. “Allow the shadows of the white-on-white objects to create natural outlines and interest. Also experiment with natural woods to give a warm feel or dark accent colours, such as black or charcoal, to create a strong more masculine look,” McDaniel suggests. Metallics paired with white also work perfectly, as they too have reflective properties – so go for gold, silver, copper, bronze or a trendy rose-gold trim on fixtures.

IN THE DETAIL Schmitz advises that you consider displaying a special piece of art or sculpture on an all-white wall or adding textured linen curtains to offset a smooth white wall. A plush rug also adds texture and warmth underfoot, which is a must for any bedroom. If you already have a carpet in your bedroom, layer it with a rug in a different textured surface to create depth to your space.

Add some feminine flair to your bed with vintage bed linen with scalloped edges, generous amounts of fluffy pillows and throws.

Get the right bedside lamps for your style and practical needs, as this will add to the ambience of the room. Mirrors with carved detail and crystal chandeliers look good in almost every bedroom, so choose these statement pieces carefully. With the right décor accessories, white can be cool and refreshing in summer and warm and cosy in winter. E

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EOA DÉCOR SHOPPING DITZY FLORAL CROCHET SCATTER, R99.99, MR PRICE HOME.

STUPA SILVER BY SUZANNE SHARP, HAND-KNOTTED TIBETAN WOOL-ANDSILK RUG, 2.74X1.83M, R126 943 OR R25 317/M2, THE RUG COMPANY.

TURKISH ANGORA WOOL SHAGGY RUG, 2.74X1.83M, R61 205 OR R12 206/M2, THE RUG COMPANY.

PIMA 500 QUEEN SET, R1 849, LOADS OF LIVING. RATTAN HANGING LAMP, R1 795, WEYLANDTS.

WORDS: BY RHODA DAVIDS. IMAGES: SUPPLIED BY UNLESS OTHERWISE SPECIFIED.

BELLA CONSOLE TABLE IN MIRROR, R3 299, @HOME.

GET INTO YOUR ZONE

comfort

100% LINEN CURTAIN, R895, WEYLANDTS. VINTAGE FLORAL PICTURE FRAME, R79.99, MR PRICE HOME.

GOODEN OCCASIONAL ARMCHAIR, R5 995, WEYLANDTS.

SCENT DIFFUSER IN ORCHID BLOOM PINK, R139, @ HOME.

SOPHIA ONEDRAWER PEDESTAL, R695, VOLPES. CHENILLE MR & MRS SCATTER CUSHION, R99.99, MR PRICE HOME.

LAMPSHADE IN LOUNGE WHITE, R219, AND CLASSIC SILVER LAMP BASE, R399, LOADS OF LIVING.

SPATI FOUR-POSTER QUEEN BED, R10 995, WEYLANDTS.

ARC FLOOR LAMP, R2 995, WEYLANDTS.

KENSINGTON HEADBOARD, R3 999, @HOME.

DUVET INNERS FROM R299, VOLPES.

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REFINING YOUR STYLE Get the scoop on luxury rugs, outdoor accessories and chairs, as well as storage that will revolutionise your kitchen.

NEW ON THE BLOCK Blok has just finalised its latest apartment project TWO16ONHL in High Level Road in Sea Point aimed at the first-time buyer. The building boasts 22 compact and thoughtfully designed apartments with shared spaces that will take advantage of the building’s best views in an accessible and desirable location. “We’ve really pushed the design boundaries in demanding more out of the interior spaces, as well as the shared spaces of the building,” says Jacques van Embden, MD and co-founder of Blok.

The interiors are fully kitted out with Smeg appliances and oak flooring and will be filled with continuous joinery between rooms. This allows for a living space that can contract and expand as required. TWO16ONHL is a project that encourages a compact and minimal way of life without compromising the urban living experience. Check out blok.co.za for more information.

SITTING PRETTY

WHAT’S COOKING?

Fans of the Le Creuset brand can now cook up a potential culinary storm in the kitchen with the new recipe app that has over 300 options to choose from.

A great feature of the app is the shopping list, which makes buying ingredients for your dish a breeze. The list takes the concept of the standard recipe book a step further by allowing ingredients to be checked off as the user shops. Other features include photos that show the finished dish along with a serving suggestion, user ratings allowing users the option to rate each individual recipe after attempting it, and a store locator so users can see where their nearest Le Creuset boutique store is. For more information, go to lecreuset.co.za

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Office furniture with a trendy edge – that’s what Ergoform’s new Spectre Chair is all about. The tall, sleek shape embodies Ergoform’s signature minimalist approach and is an elegant addition to any space – professional or otherwise. Designer Leon Roodt drew inspiration from design classics such as the ‘good old rocking chair’ and sought to fuse the timeless grace of such pieces with the striking contemporary twist for which Ergoform are renowned. Born out of the need for a comfortable high back lounge chair, the Spectre Chair is suitable for breakaway areas, waiting areas and meeting lounges. With a range of fabrics and finishes to choose from, including standard fabric, 100-percent first wool and leather – one is easily able to refine that definition. Available from Ergoform in Cape Town, Johannesburg and Durban or check out ergoform.co.za for more information.

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EOA DÉCOR NEWS

A SILKY TOUCH

Add a touch of elegance to your living space with a bamboo silk rug from The Rug Company. The silky appearance and feel of these rugs are due to the appealing aesthetics to the fibre of the bamboo plant. The natural sheen of the yarn elevates the rugs’ neutral colour to elegant metallic. The rugs are available in bronze, graphite, pale gold and silver in a variety of sizes. Go to therugcompany. com for more information.

Hertex launches its new 100-percent locally made sea grass Segment rugs ideal for warmer seasons. The rough textured finish is the perfect addition to a contemporary interior. The round rug is 240cm in diameter and easy to fold and carry, making it great to use inside and outside. For more information, go to hertex.co.za.

CLASSY TOUCH FOR OUTDOOR LIVING

With more time spent outdoors at the moment, it comes as no surprise that the modern home has become sophisticated with its finishing touches. Plantation Shutters spoil homeowners for choice with shutters that can easily extend or enclose an area, while increasing the value of your property. The shutters insulate against heat and cold for a comfortable, temperate environment regardless of the season, and assist in protecting external furniture.

Unlimited colour choices offer you the freedom to create your ideal aesthetic.

Advanced manufacturing technologies with customisable specs ensure a quality product. Allow for a 21-day lead-time from order to installation. For more information, go to plantation.co.za.

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BRIGHT IDEAS FOR STORAGE

A kitchen can never have enough storage and with Blum’s innovative Ninka range, you now have an even bigger variety of quality accessories that will help keep your kitchen tidy and organised. The super-organised drawer solutions are compact and elegant and made from an exclusive mix of plastic and aluminium. There are also corner solutions ideal for awkward spaces and the rotating doors allow all your stored items to come to the fore when you need them. For further information, call 0861 ECLIPSE (325 4773) or visit eclipsegroup.co.za.

WHAT’S NEW?

WORKSHOP NEWTOWN celebrates culture and legacy, while re-inventing the Johannesburg shopping experience in the former Market Square. Drawing on multiple inspirations from the past, the retail project houses over 100 local fashion, design and lifestyle brands.

“The Potato Sheds built in 1911, and the surrounding neighbourhood, are steeped in significance and our goal was to celebrate that history within this listed, magnificent structure,” explains Julian McGowan. “Designated areas, shops and booths pay tribute to the goldmines, markets, livestock stalls, cultural icons, industry and office workers that made Newtown the gateway to the city.” Pop down to Newtown Junction, 100 Carr Street, Johannesburg, or visit workshopnewtown.com. E

WORDS: RHODA DAVIDS. IMAGES: SUPPLIED UNLESS SPECIFIED.

LOCALLY STYLISH

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G

TRAVEL EOA

REAT AFRICAN TRAIN JOURNEYS

While the Boeing 747 may be the faster, more appealing option for the traveller intent on getting from point A to point B in good time, an old-fashioned train ride is arguably more romantic, with the journey itself in many cases serving as a destination of sorts. ith the tracks glistening in the early evening light and the ‘Smoke that Thunders’ (Victoria Falls) creating a light rain in the distance, the sound of the train pulling out the station as passengers sip on their gins and tonics from the glass-walled Observer lounge as the African bush moves by rhythmically… surely there is nothing more romantic than taking a train trip in Africa? The good news is that there are various appealing options for the traveller wanting to discover the splendour of Africa by train. We take a brief look at some of them.

ROVOS RAIL Operating out of Capital Park Station in Pretoria (the only privately owned railway station in South Africa), Rovos Rail affords its travellers the opportunity to travel in style in authentic locomotives and coaches that have been painstakingly restored – wood panelling and all. There is a variety of journeys available, ranging from a 1 600km meander from Pretoria to Cape Town, to the 28-day Cairo

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ROVOS RAIL

journey, which carries the more adventurous travellers through the heartlands of South Africa, Botswana, Zimbabwe, Tanzania, Uganda, Sudan and Egypt by train and air. Other journeys include: Pretoria to Victoria Falls, Pretoria to Durban, Pretoria to Namibia, Cape Town to Dar es Salaam, as well as two nine-day safaris that cater for golfers as well as their non-playing guests.

Established in 1989, Rovos has earned a reputation as a provider of the finest luxury train journeys in the Southern Hemisphere. The company aims to maintain the spirit of travel of a bygone era and this is reflected in the fact that there are no radios or televisions on board, as well as in the Victorian atmosphere of the dining cars. It’s not surprising then that the London Daily Mail recommended Rovos Rail for ‘those of you who want to discover Africa in the wood-panelled, gleaming five-star luxury of a bygone era’. Visit www.rovos.com or call +27 (0)12 315 8242. E-mail reservations@rovos.co.za.

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THE BLUE TRAIN

BLUE TRAIN In existence for over 60 years now, the Blue Train is one of South Africa’s best-known tourist attractions. Travellers have the option of a Pretoria-Cape Town or a Cape Town-Pretoria journey. There’s also the Pretoria-Durban option, which includes two nights on the train as well as two nights at the luxurious golfers’ paradise at Zimbali Lodge, and the Pretoria-Bakubung Game Lodge bonanza.

Accommodation on the ‘Blue Jewel’, as it is popularly known, is in luxurious suites that come complete with individually controlled air-conditioning and an entertainment centre with a choice of movie and radio channels. The suites have under-floor heating in the rooms and bathrooms, and butlers are at hand to complete the experience.

Visit www.bluetrain.co.za or call +44 1403 243619 (Ethos Marketing, UK representative). E-mail info@ ethosmarketing.co.uk.

DESERT EXPRESS The Desert Express takes travellers on an amazing journey through the beautiful landscapes of Namibia, following a timetable that’s designed to coincide with sunrises and sunsets.

This train travels from Windhoek in the central highlands of Namibia to Swakopmund on the Atlantic coast.

There’s also a longer safari option that includes Walvis Bay and game drives in the Etosha National Park. The modern

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SCENIC VIEW FROM THE DINING CAR OF THE BLUE TRAIN

interior of the train, which caters for just 48 guests at a time, is designed in colours and motifs reminiscent of Namibia.

Passengers have access to the elegant Spitzkoppe Lounge, which, like the entire train, is fully airconditioned, and features a unique chess table on which black and white squares have been made from the sand of the Namib Desert. Meals are served in a silver-service dining car, where options include international cuisine as well as local specialities like game and ostrich.

Visit www.southafricanrailways.co.za or call +27 (0)11 773 9247.

SHONGOLOLO EXPRESS The Shongololo Express traverses nine countries in southern Africa: Namibia, South Africa, Lesotho, Swaziland, Mozambique, Zimbabwe, Botswana and Zambia, as well as Tanzania in East Africa. Its routes include Cape TownJohannesburg, Johannesburg-Victoria

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TRAVEL EOA

A FRIENDLY BUTLER ON THE BLUE TRAIN

AERIAL VIEW OF THE BLUE TRAIN

WORDS: FATIMA ASMAL. IMAGES: ROVOS RAIL, THE BLUE TRAIN.

ROVOS RAIL

Falls and Johannesburg-Windhoek.

This train is unique in that each train carries a fleet of airconditioned Mercedes-Benz touring vehicles, as well as professional guides (who speak English, German, Dutch and French) on board, ensuring that off-rail activities are a thoroughly enjoyable experience.

Visit www.shongololo.com or call +27 (11) 486 4357.

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THE MAN IN SEAT 61 ALSO RECOMMENDS… Mark Smith, better known as ‘the man in seat 61’ after his multiple award-winning travel website www. seat61.com, recommends: • The Bulawayo-Victoria Falls train journey, operated by National Railways of Zimbabwe.“ This classic overnight train is the way to reach Vic Falls from Bulawayo, even though (given Zim’s economic situation) it's now getting down-at-heel.

But don't be put off; ignore anyone telling you to spend a night in a cramped bus seat (or worse, fly), don't miss this amazing rail travel experience, a classic piece of history with British-built coaches, some with wood-panelled interiors, dating from 1952 and 1958,“ he says.

• Travelling by train in Morocco. “The trains in Morocco are some of the best in Africa, and they’re the ideal choice for getting around between cities.

Fast, modern, air-conditioned ’trains rapides climatisés’ link Tangier, Rabat, Casablanca, Marrakech, Meknès, Fez & Oujda,“ says Smith.

Source: www.seat61.com E

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FORD KUGA

TRENDING FAMILY SUVs

If you’re searching for a trendy ride for your brood, then search no further. Katherine Swift highlights four family cars that are so much more than wheels; they are moving homes with high-tech performance, safety, and convenience features.

If you are going for big, safe and sensible then the Ford Kuga is a well-built and capable SUV that gives you the height to see over traffic with ease without the chunky feel of a big car. Fabulously stylish with a spacious interior and plenty of standard equipment, this SUV is a well-rounded package and comes in at great value too.

The entry level is generously equipped with alloy wheels, keyless start, air-conditioning, DAB digital radio and a heated windscreen. Choose between the 1.5-litre petrol or 2.0-litre diesel, which can be paired with the optional four-wheel-drive system.

Look forward to a relaxing and confidence-inspiring drive in a vehicle that gets the thumbs-up for reliability and safety, with features like electronic stability control, cruise control with a speed limiter, hill-start assistance and tyre-pressure monitoring. Isofix child-seat mounts feature on the outer two seats and an optional, kick-operated tailgate (just swing a leg under the rear bumper and it springs open) is super-handy when your arms are filled with baby or shopping bags. Ideal for towing trailers and the like, you can now take every toy and bicycle with on holiday – you can even shove in the kitchen sink.

2016 MAZDA CX-5

This super-sporty, stylish SUV boasts great fuel economy and CO2 emission figures.

The dynamic design ensures a spacious, functional cabin with plenty of legroom for playtime in the back and convenient cargo features include easy-to-fold rears seats. The new CX-5 seats five, has standard frontwheel drive and is available with all-wheel drive. The standard 2.0-litre petrol manual and a 2.2-litre diesel offer a choice of manual or automatic transmission. I suggest you stick with the standard six-speed manual gearbox and opt for front-wheel drive in the city. Cleverly integrated connectivity and the convenience of a handy touchscreen allows for focused driving while you hook up your compatible smart phone and use MZD Connect for all your internet and messaging needs. A joy to ride, experience athletic handling, straightforward interior tech, sharp steering and strong brakes, all of which come in handy when your head gets lost in a bubble of Barney tunes.

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MOTORING EOA 2016 VOLVO XC90

IMAGES: QUICKPIC, FOXFLASHNEWS.TK.

Like an old friend that is loyal and always there for you this dynamic SUV ticks all the boxes when it comes to comfort, efficiency and refinement. The large sevenseat luxury SUV gets its first comprehensive redesign for 2016 since the launch of its predecessor back in 2002. Supremely ergonomic, it remains understated and modest in its exterior design. More assertive styling, a larger grille, aggressive lower air intakes and slimmer headlights, achieves a modern brief without losing the Volvo identity. The ‘Thor’s hammer’ headlights include optional daytime running lights in a shape mirroring the mythological weapon. Two powertrains are offered, with the bulk of XC90s being the T6 model: a 316-horsepower turbocharged and supercharged 2.0-litre four-cylinder engine mated to an eight-speed automatic transmission.

The luxury is in the interior, with high-quality materials and a thoughtfully designed infotainment system. The interior shapes in stitched leather, textured metal, and matte wood are layered to suggest Scandinavian furniture and the nine-inch touchscreen display in the centre allows you to tap, swipe, pinch and stretch the screen. Volvo is known for safety and the latest offering includes two new world firsts: automatic braking at intersections if a car drives into the path of travel from another angle, and Run Off Road Design, which works to keep occupants safe if the car goes off the edge of the road.

Available in either all-black or two-tone interior, the combination of a standard panoramic sunroof and generous windows creates the opportune environment to drive with your hair blowing in the wind.

MERCEDES GLE

The latest addition serves the Mercedes reputation well. A beautiful car to ogle at, this well appointed luxury SUV is a smooth ride with lots of power. The GLE-Class is available in a variety of engines including a turbo diesel, a high-performance twin-turbocharged V8 engine, and a V6 paired with an electric motor in the hybrid model. Kick back and let active cruise control with steering assist ease your drive, as well as blind-spot monitors and lane-keeping assist. Forward-collision warning with automatic braking and lanedeparture warning systems are offered. The immaculate interior

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offers numerous standard features: a seven-inch display with an infotainment system; dual-zone automatic climate control; a power sunroof; Bluetooth; a USB port; a collision prevention warning system; a driver drowsiness alert system, and a Pre-Safe system that adjusts seat belts and headrests and closes windows when an accident is imminent. Your GLE-Class can be fitted with COMAND infotainment and connectivity, displayed on an eight-inch screen, Harman Kardon and Bang & Olufsen audio systems and a rear-seat DVD entertainment system to keep everyone happy. E

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EOA BOOKS

AMERICAN WIFE

Taya Kyle R370, Harper Collins USA An unforgettable memoir depicting the story of love and family, service and patriotism, grief and sacrifice, faith and purpose, American Wife is the debut novel by the wife of former American sniper Chris Kyle. She tells the story of the good and trying times in their marriage and how she coped with her husband’s death. Married for over a decade, Chris and Taya were blessed with two children, Bubba and Angel, and their love had deepened with time. Chris eventually decided to retire from the US Navy Seals and help those suffering from the same post-war psychological trauma he experienced, when he and a friend lost their lives tragically. Left to pick up the pieces – she without her husband and her children without their father – Taya shares how she survived the loss to be strong for her children. This book highlights her darkest fears, worries and sorrow and how the light of hope came through faith and renewal.

Although still grieving, she is moving on and her story will appeal to all women who can relate to her tragedy.

MAVERICK (2nd Edition)

Lauren Beukes R220, Umuzi From Africa’s first black movie star to a stylish commie revolutionary, showgirls and soccer stars, writers and poets, activists, artists, a pop princess, a prophetess and a cold-blooded killer, Maverick explores the riveting, true tales of women who broke convention. Updated, expanded, and now with photographs, this edition of Lauren Beukes’s first book casts light onto the fascinating lives of some of South Africa’s most famous – and notorious – women.

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IN ORDER TO LIVE

Yeonmi Park R285, Penguin Books South Africa Yeonmi Park was not dreaming of freedom when she escaped from North Korea. She didn’t even know what it meant to be free.

All she knew was that she was running for her life, that if she and her family stayed behind they would die – from starvation, or disease, or even execution. In Order To Live is the story of Park’s struggle to survive her harrowing escape to South Korea through China's underworld of smugglers and human traffickers; and her emergence as a leading human rights activist – all before her 21st birthday.

Seline and Leandri van der Wat R300, Struik Lifestyle During the screening of the MasterChef South Africa 2013 series, TV viewers were both fascinated by, and impressed with, the Van Der Wat sisters. Seline and Leandri’s relationship and their varying cooking styles and personalities kept audiences on the edges of their seats right up until the final episode, when they ultimately placed second and third – no mean feat. Since then both sisters’ foodie careers have taken off, albeit in differing directions. In Two, the Van Der Wat sisters collaborate to present a really fascinating cookbook concept: taking the same main ingredient and creating two different dishes from it, or taking a classic recipe and making one version for casual dining with the family and another to impress for serious entertaining. E

WORDS: THINA MTHEMBU. IMAGES: SUPPLIED BY PUBLISHERS.

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TECH EOA

GRINDR

HOW ABOUT WE

Self-labelled as ‘the best gay dating app’, this locationbased social network allows gay and bisexual men to chat and meet each other.

It simply requires basic information from you and reveals people in your area.

So if your friend is looking for something fun, tell him about Grindr.

Romantics can select a partner based on their idea of a perfect date and express their personalities in creative ways.

Just tell the app that you’re up for a date and the ‘Tonight’ feature will instantly provide you with a list of available matches. If by the end of the day your match is not ‘the one’, at least you got to enjoy the date.

A MATCH MADE IN

Africa

Although some might consider it taboo, more and more Africans are turning to social media to find ‘the one’. We take a look at Africa’s top dating apps.

WORDS: THINA MTHEMBU. IMAGES: GOOGLE PLAY STORE, ITUNES.

TINDER

If we had to select one dating app that has taken the world by storm, it would be Tinder. At first used more for hook-up/casual sex due to the convenient GPS locator, almost everyone now seems to be using it. Tinder finds your location with and then uses your Facebook information to create your profile, with your permission of course.

If you see someone you like, all you have to do is swipe right to like or left to pass, and if someone likes you back, it’s a match!

ZOOSK

If you’re not one to fill up endless questionnaires about your life to find a match, Zoosk will do the job for you. This app is able to identify your tastes, preferences and more through your actions on the website in order to suggest potential matches. A special engine called ‘Behavioral Matchmaking™’ sets you up with your match and also pays close attention to messages sent, replies sent and profiles viewed. A human representative compares photos on your profile and marks a person as verified, so you don’t have to worry about fake profiles.

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You’ve heard stories out there about fake profiles, so be careful and be upfront about what it is you’re looking for from the beginning so that you don’t end up with someone looking for a quick fix.

SAYHI

If you’re single in Egypt and searching for the man of your dreams, locate your potential partner on your map, make friends, and date – this is what SayHi has to offer. Use video chat, voice messages or stick to the normal text messages to get the conversation started. E

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EOA MOVIES & THEATRE ON STAGE

The theatrical creation of the very best of Queen live in concert has captured the imagination of fans everywhere. Unlike the musical We Will Rock You that uses Queen songs, It’s a Kinda Magic delivers the whole Queen experience and takes audiences back in time, with modern day sound and lighting, creating the best of the 70s/80s rock era.

Catch Queen – It’s A Kinda Magic at the Mandela Theatre from 14 January to 7 February 2016.

ON SCREEN

Happiness doesn’t come with a manual. Three best friends will have to find out what truly makes each of them happy and then fight to get it. Based on the novel Happiness Is A Four-Letter Word by Cynthia Nozizwe Jele.

Happiness Is A Four Letter Word opens at Ster Kinekor on 19 February 2016.

MISS YOU ALREADY

An honest and powerful story for every modern woman, Miss You Already follows two best friends, Milly (Toni Collette) and Jess (Drew Barrymore) as they navigate life’s highs and lows. Inseparable since they were young girls, they can’t remember a time they didn’t share everything – from secrets and clothes to boyfriends. But nothing prepares them for the day Milly is hit with life-altering news. Celebrate the bond of true friendship that ultimately can never be broken, even in life’s toughest moments.

Miss You Already opens at Ster Kinekor on 26 February 2016.

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Go back in time on a musical journey through the story of Frankie Vallie and The Four Seasons, whose songs were featured in films like The Deer Hunter, Dirty Dancing and Grease. Direct from London, and exclusively at Johannesburg Theatre, the show will feature the classics Big Girls Don’t Cry, Walk Like a Man, Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow, Silence is Golden, The Sun Ain’t Gonna Shine Anymore and Why Do Fools Fall in Love?

Catch Bye Bye Baby at the Mandela Theatre from 10 to 28 February 2016.

A MUSICAL AFFAIR

HAPPINESS IS A FOUR-LETTER WORD

FEBRUARY 2016

BYE BYE BABY

THE DANISH GIRL

See Academy Award-winner Eddie Redmayne and Alicia Vikander in the remarkable love story inspired by the lives of Lili Elbe and Gerda Wegener. Lili and Gerda’s marriage and work evolve as they navigate Lili’s groundbreaking journey as a transgender pioneer. Based on the novel The Danish Girl by David Ebershoff and directed by Academy Award-winner Tom Hooper of The King’s Speech and Les Misérables.

The Danish Girl opens at Nu-Metro on 29 January 2016.

WORDS: THINA MTHEMBU. IMAGES: THE COLAB NETWORK; STER KINEKOR.

QUEEN – IT’S A KINDA MAGIC

THE DRESSMAKER

The Dressmaker tells the story of the beautiful and talented Tilly Dunnage played by Academy Award-winner, Kate Winslet. After years working as a dressmaker in exclusive Parisian fashion houses, Tilly returns home to a town in the Australian outback to reconcile with her eccentric mother Molly (Academy Award-nominee, Judy Davis). She also falls in love with the purehearted Teddy (Liam Hemsworth), and armed with her sewing machine and haute couture style, Tilly transforms the women of the town, exacting sweet revenge on those who did her wrong.

The Dressmaker opens at Ster Kinekor on 5 February 2016.

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MUSIC EOA

MOOD MUSIC You don’t have to cross the globe to get banging beats when the party is at your fingertips.

BEAUTY BEHIND THE MADNESS

The Weeknd Universal Music You may know Abel Tesfaye from the popular Fifty Shades Of Grey track Earned It, but underground music followers know him for his 2011 released mix tapes and associate his musical persona with that of a villain, an image that comes through in most of his songs. He features other artists on this album, but even with Ed Sheeran in Dark Times, you still sense some self-pity in him, while in The Hills you see him as a heartless playboy. If you’re looking for something that comes with a slow burn, add this album to your music collection.

NINE TRACK MIND

Charlie Puth Warner Music Puth became an international star thanks to the international smash hit See You Again, featuring Wiz Kalifa. After wrapping up his US tour, he has announced the release of his highly anticipated debut album Nine Track Mind. As if that wasn’t enough, chilled songs like Marvin Gaye featuring Meghan Trainor will definitely set the mood for a lovefilled night this February!

WORDS: THINA MTHEMBU. IMAGES: UNIVERSAL MUSIC, WARNER MUSIC, CTEMF.

FREEDOM & SURRENDER

Lizz Wright Universal Music Freedom & Surrender, produced by Larry Klein, is a great way to end off a long week. Lean In is very melodic and Wright seduces you with that comehither mood. Also worth noting is a his-and-her RnB duet with Gregory Porter in Right Where You Are.

AFRODEEZIA

Marcus Miller Universal Music Inspired by his role as spokesman for UNESCO’s Slave Route Project, Miller uses music as a story-telling tool with great success on his 22nd album. This sophisticated piece is full of melody and was recorded with musicians from West Africa, South America, the Caribbean and the USA. Don’t be misled by the album title; it doesn’t only consist of African sounds, but sees Miller’s musical imagination reign across all genres. Look forward to an album that is sophisticated and well polished.

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THE MOTHER CITY’S MUSIC FESTIVAL

The 2016 Cape Town Electronic Music Festival (CTEMF) is back with more international DJs! Celebrating its fifth anniversary this year, the CTEMF will bring music to South Africa’s thriving electronic music scene. Partygoers can look forward to three days of international icons, as well as budding musicians and beat makers looking for a chance to improve their skills and knowledge about this trade.

On from 5 to 7 February at the Grand Parade.

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EOA HOROSCOPES

LIBRA 24 September – 23 October Invest in your home in a way that says you’re staying put as the month begins. You’ve been super-optimistic and carefree for ages but, for now, you’re more cautious. An unexpected romance or untapped talent could surface, so start developing either – or both – to peak in September.

VIRGO 24 August – 23 September Life has been fabulous and full on lately, but this month calls for a temporary halt to living life to the max. Love shifts into self-love, self-care and self-preservation territory, so turn your interests inwards now to explore new ideas in depth – and let others hog the limelight.

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CAPRICORN 23 December – 20 January It’s traditionally the most romantic month of the year but try putting a different spin on love, whether you’re solo or spoken for, as you get a fabulous fresh start with both romance and money now. It’s not about thinking big, but about taking small risks that pay big dividends.

AQUARIUS 21 January – 19 February This month is all about you and your image so establish yourself as one to watch, especially at work where you’re extra dynamic and you can achieve anything you want to.

More love or power may have been your original incentives, but kudos is your true motivation now.

YOUR MONTH IN THE STARS

Your birthstone is an amethyst.

LEO 24 July – 23 August Sticking to a health routine will have a profound effect on your relationships before the month ends, leaving you more open to sweet talk and sweet love. At home, rejuvenate rather than replace things as this works better for you now than seeking solace through binge spending.

CANCER 22 June – 23 July A resurgence of an old romance or rethinking a new or current love could take you into uncharted waters in this surprisingly sensual month.

Communication is also up for renewal or even a revolution; if you’ve been too open or too obvious, let subtle body language do the talking.

GEMINI 22 May – 21 June Home life is about to give way to people and places from farther afield. Your wish for intellectual stimulation is granted, with a distant journey or long-distance romance potentially part of the package. Work could sap you emotionally, so meditate your way back to marvellousness.

PISCES 20 February – 20 March Reclaim your power if you’ve given it away or it’s been taken from you. Your light shines brighter now so put yourself in a strong position to have your say if who or whatever has overwhelmed you tries to dominate things again. This month think like a victor, not a victim.

ARIES 21 March – 20 April You’ve been in a hard-working phase for a while now but the focus shifts to taking some wellearned time out with friends, as new aims and new people could bring surprising outcomes.

A fitness obsession cools down. Make time to rediscover your sensual side this month too.

TAURUS 21 April – 21 May What started as sweet might turn sour this month as a lover or co-worker takes things too far. Set new ground rules for relationships further down the line and focus on your work now instead. New skills could launch a surprise career revival, making you even more in demand.

WORDS: STELLA NOVA. IMAGE: : www.coejel.com

SCORPIO 24 October – 22 November Lately you’ve either been swamped by friends or have found you’re better off without hangers-on.

Whichever describes your current situation, it’s about to switch to the opposite scenario.

Keep tabs on your shorter-than-usual fuse and put your own quirky stamp on your home and life.

SAGITTARIUS 23 November – 22 December Avoid trying to do it all, have it all or be it all this month.

Use any downtime to acquire new skills that could help your work and make connections, as they’ll be highly useful from September.

Spontaneous conversations could bring surprises with romance your way now too.

Ess AYS of Afr ica

2015/12/11 3:50 PM

MAIN COVER: STYLED BY: TUMI MDLULI, PHOTOGRAPHER: GARETH JACOBS, ASSISTANT: TEBATJO MANAMELA, HAIR & MAKE-UP: KHETHIWE MKHABELA, DRESSED BY: DAVID TLALE, LOCATION: PROTEA FIRE & ICE! MELROSE ARCH.

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