+ HER LESSONS
STOPPING THE CYCLE OF ABUSE BY MANNETTE MORGAN
“What will it take to break the cycle of abuse in our society?” This question likely seems daunting—and rightfully so. It is a huge undertaking. Just like any other societal change, it will take a conscious effort on all our parts, especially those who are immersed in the dysfunction of abuse themselves. As I’ll touch on later, breaking the cycle in families is the first step to a widespread change.
According to many domestic violence and child abuse organizations, abuse—in every form—is more prevalent in our society than anyone might like to admit. DID YOU KNOW: • It is conservatively believed that one in four girls will be sexually molested before they are 18 years old. • One in five teen girls are victims of dating violence. • One in four women will experience domestic violence in their lifetime. • Before the #MeToo movement, 90% of victims never spoke up. • 90% of victims are abused by someone they know, love or trust.1 It’s time for society to step out of denial and stop ignoring the reality of abuse. Once we have accepted how prevalent abuse is in our families and communities, we then must start educating those same people about the different types of abuse. National Association of Adult Survivors of Child Abuse (NAASCA) http:// www.naasca.org/2012-Resources/010812-StaisticsOfChildAbuse.htm 1
18 HERS Mag azi n e | H ER Les s ons
Most people in society would recognize physical and sexual abuse if they witnessed it. Unfortunately, psychological or emotional abuse can be more challenging to recognize. Psychological abuse is often difficult to prove and perpetuates the cycle even further as victims feel trapped, unseen, and unworthy. This is why understanding abuse is such a vital part of breaking the cycle. How can we change what we don’t understand? We need to educate society as a whole, including both the victims and the abusers, and it starts with identifying abusive behaviors that may easily go unseen. PSYCHOLOGICAL ABUSE IS WIDESPREAD AND CAN INCLUDE: • emotional or mental manipulation • threatening the victim with violence • control • harassing the victim when they are outside the home • passive-aggressive behaviors • denying the victim access to others • confining the victim to home or destroying the victim’s property
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