A Special Sort of Terrifying

I know you’re trying to communicate something when you say your red shirt hurts on the radiator, but I’m sorry,

I’m still struggling to interpret that one

and a host of other ’isms that only you could come up with

and the scattered words of the semi-vocal

and the gestures of those who don’t speak with their mouths.

I’m trying to interpret all I’ve learned

like how ableist slurs shouldn’t feel as familiar on my ears as they do,

like how seeing someone who’s terminally ill and seeing someone who’s actively dying are vastly different experiences

and the latter is a special sort of terrifying

and people close to the end who are on morphine might scratch themselves bloody

and aren’t very aware of their surroundings but stay close anyway

because no one should die alone.

-Hazel Milla is a senior from Chapel Hill, NC, pursuing a major in Neuroscience and a minor in Creative Writing.-