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Parenting Takes Lots and Lots of Effort Parenting is the toughest job in the world, and it may seem like many of your efforts do not make a difference, but after 40 years of working with families, there is one thing that I know for sure. When you set a good example for your kids, teach them right from wrong, and set up the right consequences for misbehavior, you plant the seed for them to return to your values once they figure it out for themselves. Often times this takes a lot of conviction and faith that they will "eventually" live the family values that you have spent so much time trying to instill in them. Parents who feel discouraged because their kids are talking back or taking things that do not belong to them or are lying about doing their homework will believe that they have not found an effective means to teach them right from wrong. They will chronically report that "no matter what they do it seems to have no effect on their child. This is so frustrating but as a parent your job is to teach them the natural or logical consequences of things. It is not your job to find out what you can do to get them to conform...unfortunately they have to figure this part out for themselves. I coach parents that they need to consistently teach a child that when A happens , this results in b happening. If a child goes outside without their mittens (A) their hands get cold (B).That example is a natural consequence that will occur spontaneously, and most parents will remind their children to wear their mittens and their hats for that reason. A tougher situation is a child who refuses to brush his teeth because the natural consequence is tooth decay, but most parents don't want to suffer the consequences with the child. Parents don't want to pay the dental bills or take time off from work to get their child to the
dentist if they don't have to. Therefore, a parent needs to find a consequence that fits the misbehavior which is a logical consequence to the misbehavior. Maybe that looks like "Son since you are not brushing your teeth (A) , I will be taking away Carol Juergensen Sheets your after-school snacks (B) , because I need to reduce the chances of tooth decay. I know, you may be thinking that won't stop my 7-year-old from helping himself to the cookies while I am not looking. In this case you may need to increase the consequences and only buy healthy snacks like apples and teach the child that sweet treats are a privilege and require responsible behavior. More than likely you are saying..."Well then our whole family is going to be punished because of John's poor choices. And that is exactly what may need to happen so that he learns that his actions impact everyone. He will be much more likely to make healthier choices if his friends or family are affected.
Homework Think about a misbehavior that you would like to focus extinguish. Is there a natural or logical consequence that you could enforce that might be helpful in teaching your child healthy choices? Figure out if the consequence fits the misbehavior . Practice the consequence for 90 days and relish in the fact that you are teaching your child a valuable lesson that may or may not extinguish the behavior. Have faith that your child will eventually come around!
Carol Juergensen Sheets LCSW PCC is a psychotherapist and personal life coach. She does motivational speaking and empowerment trainings locally and nationally. To find out more about her services--contact her at www. carolthecoach.com or call her at 317-218-3479. Please say “I found it in the IndyKids’Directory!� Thanks!
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Autism Awareness – From Spectrum to Kaleidoscope Awareness is more than gaining knowledge. It’s about changing your perspective. Consider the history of autism. In the 1960’s, individuals diagnosed with autism were often considered unteachable and ultimately sent to institutions. Behavior analysts, using the principles of applied behavior analysis, questioned that perception and began treating those with autism as individuals who simply learned in different ways. Here’s a new perspective for Autism Awareness Month. Autism is more than a spectrum. Autism is a kaleidoscope. A spectrum conjures up images such as a rainbow, with colors moving from red through orange, yellow, green, and blue to finally arrive at purple. The problem with a spectrum is that it makes it seem like one’s position falls somewhere between two extreme opposites. For autism, those extremes are often labeled high functioning autism and low functioning autism. But terms like high functioning and low functioning tell more about our society than they do the individual with autism. Applied behavior analysis (ABA) therapy, an evidence-based treatment for individuals with autism, reminds us that each individual is unique. Like a kaleidoscope, our strengths and challenges create a unique pattern of who we are and how we interact with the world. One individual may relish friendships with others yet have difficulty reading social cues that make those relationships last. Another individual may prefer to do things on their own yet have difficulty finding the way to communicate that preference to others. The way we relate to each other does not fit neatly on a spectrum but rather creates a brilliant pattern of light and dark, brightness and intensity, color and form. At the Applied Behavior Center for Autism we remain committed to helping each individual grow by acknowledging who they are, building on their strengths, and overcoming their challenges. Utilizing the principles of applied behavior analysis, we seek to create an environment in which each individual is successful, each individual has the opportunity to learn, and each individual has a chance to improve their quality of life. The Applied Behavior Center for Autism - building brighter futures, for a kaleidoscope of individuals. Please say “I found it in the IndyKids’Directory!” Thanks!
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A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT According to the CDC, older adults and people who have severe chronic medical conditions like heart, lung or kidney disease are at a higher risk of serious illness if they contract the COVID-19 virus. This means that most people with Medicare are at a higher risk. Your health, safety, and welfare is our highest priority. In addition to practicing good everyday prevention through things such as hand washing and avoiding touching your face, the CDC says there is more you can do to take precautions against COVID-19 and reduce your risk of exposure: • Avoid crowds, especially in poorly ventilated spaces with limited air circulation. • Defer all cruise ship travel worldwide, particularly if you also have underlying health issues. • Avoid situations that put you at increased risk, including non-essential travel such as long plane trips.
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Remember: Medicare covers the lab tests for COVID-19 — you pay no out-of-pocket costs. And Medicare also covers all medically necessary hospitalizations. 10
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& Access Behavioral Solutions Clinic www.accessbehavioralsolutions.com Info@accessbehavioralsolutions.com 317.802.7447
Access Behavioral Solutions is making ABA services available by bringing the therapy to you- in your home, in your community, or in the clinic.
Applied Behavior Center for Autism Pgs 8, 9 & 16
7901 E. 88th Street, Indianapolis, IN 46256 The Applied Behavior Center for Autism is Indiana's longest running ABA provider. With over 20 years of service, ABC is building brighter futures every day. Each of our center offers unique attributes that allows us to provide high quality treatment to children and teens with autism spectrum disorder. With locations in Greenwood, Carmel, Castleton, Terre Haute, Richmond, and West Indianapolis we offer ABA therapy, speech therapy, occupational therapy, diagnostic testing, special needs swim lessons, and so much more! We are now enrolling for part-time and full-time schedules. Find us on social @ABCforAutism to learn more.
www.AppliedBehaviorCenter.org info@ AppliedBehaviorCenter.org 317-849-5437
Proud Sponsors of Resources for Special Needs Natural Valley Ranch www.NaturalValleyRanch.com www.NaturalValleyTherapeuticRiding.org Marie@NaturalValleyRanch.com 317-509-3577 Birthday Parties, Trail Rides, Lessons, Petting Zoo Hayride/Bonfire, Therapeutic Riding
Phoenix Karate www.phoenixrisingkarate.com 317-228-1872
Martial arts are great for children! A psychological study found that children in martial arts have an increased sense of responsibility, a decrease in the willingness to take foolish risks, and a higher sense of self-esteem.
St. Joseph Institute for the Deaf Pg 5 www.sjid.org 317.471.8560 Leaders in Listening and Spoken Language.
Supervision Infrared Sauna SupervisionWeightLoss.com 317-849-8446 For treatment of autism.
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