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Being in Love with Love Do you know someone who is in love with a figment of her imagination? You know the type. You have a friend who has conjured up, in her own mind, a scenario that reflects what she wants the situation to be…as opposed to what it really is. I often see clients who come in and describe a horrendous situation concerning how they are being treated by the person they love. I recently saw a woman who was not being treated well by her husband. They hadn’t had sex in months. He was always choosing his work over her, berated her constantly and spent their money impulsively. After describing this dead-end relationship, she began to talk about how much they loved each other and about their plans for the future. Although she bemoaned the lack of love in the relationship, she quickly went into denial and stated that all she wanted to do was help him work through his issues. She was clearly in love with the fantasy of love and was not clearly seeing the reality of her situation! This often occurs in dating. For instance, a woman will come in and report that she’s still seeing Tom and that she is more in love than ever. As we explore the mutuality of the relationship, my client will describe the real scenario. Her boyfriend is not communicating. She does not hear from him for days and he has not invested anything financially or emotionally towards their relationship for months or possibly years. It appears that the relationship is not dependable yet my client seems to be “in love with being in love”, and in actuality she is getting nothing back in return. Although she may be able to fool herself for awhile, eventually she becomes saturated with disappointment and can no longer deny unacceptable behavior from the other person. There is no reason to accept sub-standard behavior or “to accept the crumbs” just to have someone in your life. 4
• The first step to getting the love you want is to get honest with yourself and decide what you want from a partnership or a dating relationship.
Carol Juergensen Sheets
• Next it’s important to assess whether you can retrain your partner to be more reciprocal. Unfortunately you have likely put up with the old behaviors for months or years. Therefore the behavior is pretty ingrained making redirecting or retraining tough. • Practice being clear and direct with your loved one and let him know what your expectation looks like. It may be, “Tom if you don’t call me by midweek, I will no longer be available to you at midnight for a nightcap.” Or, “Bill when you avoid my calls or refuse to make plans with me, I will need to make other plans.” To the unfaithful spouse, “If you continue to cheat on me I will make the decision to seek an attorney and file for a formal separation because I will no longer put up with the third person in our relationship”. If your partner can’t or won’t alter the behavior, it is time for you to seek professional guidance. You will need to get healthy so that you don’t repeat the same mistakes in your next relationship. All of this work requires that you get out of denial and get honest with yourself about what you aren’t getting from your partner. “Being in love with being in love” is never enough to build a relationship. Carol Juergensen Sheets LCSW PCC is a psychotherapist and personal life coach. She does motivational speaking and empowerment trainings locally and nationally. To find out more about her services--contact her at www.carolthecoach.com or call her at 317 218-3479. You can watch Carol the Coach segments on WTHR’s Channel 13 Wednesdays @ 12:50PM.
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Shelly Aristizabal Business Women Connect
What’s the best way to get happy and stay happy? For starters, try not to stress about the future and focus on the present with an attitude of gratitude. We often tend to project happiness into the future, believing we’ll be happy when we own a certain thing or have a certain experience. But when we get the things we said we wanted, the happiness we expected is often fleeting. Why is that? Well, according to Shawn Achor in his fabulous book, The Happiness Advantage, (I just finished reading it highly recommend it!) science shows that our brains operate in the opposite order. That happiness isn’t about getting to point ‘A’ or point ‘B’ - it’s about the attitude you bring to your everyday work. Achor helped design the famed happiness course at Harvard (at one time the most popular course at the university), and then went on to create a study that measured the connection between positivity and production. The study suggested that to a large degree, happiness is a learned behavior. Those trained in positive psychology showed significant increases in optimism – one of the greatest indicators of performance and success. Extensive studies have shown that employees with high levels of life satisfaction are more productive, take fewer sick days, and are more resilient in the face of a challenge. Of course, not everyone lives and works in a positive environment. It is possible to keep your brain happy no matter what your circumstances. Only 10 percent of happiness depends on our external world, the other 90 percent depends
by Shelly Aristizabal
on how our brain processes the world. Instead of scanning the world for problems, mistakes, and dangers, positive thinkers focus on things to be grateful for or ways to make the situation better. Here are four tips for training your brain to be happy: 1. Each night, write down three things for which you’re grateful and why. Be specific. Don’t just write “my children.” Instead, list the funny remark your daughter said at dinner. Gratitude moves your brain to scan the world for things that make you happy. 2. Know your weaknesses but maximize your strengths. If we focused on our strengths every day, we would feel more engaged in routine tasks. As your investment in the day goes up, your creativity rises with it. What are you best at? Re-craft a daily task to use that strength. 3. Journaling about recent positive experiences helps you make a connection with the most meaningful parts of your day. When this becomes habit, our brain starts to connect the dots. It begins to wrap around the things that mean the most, to notice the activities that translate into deeper satisfaction and meaning. 4. Meditate, even if just for five minutes a day. We all think we need to multitask to be more successful but if you do two tasks at once, your stress level rises and your productivity level drops for both tasks. Meditation slows our mind down to the present moment.
Shelly Aristizabal is the author of This Is Your Year to Design & Live the Life of Your Dreams, a leader in the Community Commerce Industry, Motivational Speaker and the New President of Business Women Connect. Visit www.BusinessWomenConnect.com for details on our upcoming events in the Indianapolis area! Please say “I found it in Indy Metro Woman Magazine!” Thanks!
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Calendar of Events Saturday, August 31 – Monday, September 2 The Warming Festival - will invade Indy’s favorite cultural community mecca this Labor Day. The historic Broad Ripple Village will be the canvas for over 100 local, regional and national artists performing on 12+ stages including historic live music staples, as well as dance clubs, neighborhood watering holes and even family and children’s venues. Friday, September 6, 6:00 pm - 10:00 pm Colts Kickoff Concert: Gin Blossoms - The Colts host their first ever Kickoff Concert featuring multi-platinum recording artist Gin Blossoms, performers of the smash hits “Hey Jealousy,” “Found Out About You,” “Allison Road,” “Until I Fall Away,” “Til I Hear It From You,” and “Follow You Down.” The Dane Clark Band will open the show. www.colts.com. Saturday, September 7, 9:00 am - 5:00 pm The Penrod Arts Fair - is held on the beautiful grounds of the Indianapolis Museum of Art. Organized and presented by the Penrod Society, the event includes more than 330 artists, live entertainment, children's activities and more. Parking available at Crown Hill Cemetery, Clowes Hall, Bertha Ross Park and Major Taylor Velodrome. www.penrod.org. Sunday, September 8, 11:00 am Susan G. Komen Pink Ribbon Celebration A luncheon for breast cancer survivors and co-survivors, presented by Community Surgery Centers at the Ritz Charles in Carmel, IN. There will be lunch, shopping, prizes, spa services and guest speaker/survivor Heidi Marble. www.komenindy.org/pink-ribbon-celebration. Thursday, September 12, 6:00 pm Susan G. Komen Project Pink Fashion Show A Fashion show of Race for the Cure apparel, repurposed by Beau Monde Madam Fashion students at The Art Institute of Indianapolis. There will be a Fashion show, appetizers, gift bags, auction, celebrity judging panel and models, live entertainment and cash bar. www.komenindy.org/project-pink. Thursday, September 12, 11:30 am – 1:00 pm Network of Women in Business (NOWIB) Northside Lunch Special Interest Group. Join in for a casual conversation and networking with NOWIB
members and guests. www.nowib.com. Tuesday, September 17, 11:30 am – 1:00 pm Network of Women in Business (NOWIB) Downtown Lunch Special Interest Group. Join in for a casual conversation and networking with NOWIB members and guests. www.nowib.com. Tuesday, September 17, 11:30 am – 1:30 pm eWomenNetwork - “Accelerated Networking Event”. Experience the excitement and power of Accelerated Networking. www.enetwork.com. Saturday, September 21 Step Out Walk to Stop Diabetes - Step Out: Walk to Stop Diabetes benefits the American Diabetes Association and is the signature one-day, fundraising and awareness walk taking place in 121 cities across the United States. Participants join the Stop Diabetes® movement by registering and recruiting co-workers, friends and family members to walk and raise money for our mission: to prevent and cure diabetes and to improve the lives of all people affected by diabetes. www. diabetes.org. Saturday, September 21 St. Vincent Cancer Walk - Join the walk at the Lions Club Park in Zionsville, Indiana, for the 2013 St.Vincent Cancer Walk. 100% of the funds raised at the Walk support programs, services, technology, equipment and research that help St.Vincent Hospital provide patients with the most personal, effective, holistic care from diagnosis through treatment. www.stvincentcancerwalk.org. Tuesday, September 24, 8:00 am - 4:00 pm Mentoring Women’s Network - Mentoring Women's Network is proud to sponsor the 2013 Integrating Woman Leaders Conference. IWL’s annual Women’s Leadership Conference encourages individuals to take their careers into their own hands. This year’s event is designed to enhance professional leadership skills, improve communication and build stronger networks to achieve results. www.mentoringwomensnetwork. com. Thursday, September 26, 11:00 am National Association of Women Business Owners (NAWBO) - Monthly luncheon meeting at the Conrad Indianapolis. www.nawboindy.org.
Are you a woman’s organization or having an event just for women? Are you a non-profit organization with a special event? Email info@indymetrowoman.com and send us the details for our monthly calendar by the 5th of each month for the following month’s issue. You can also go to www.indymetrowoman.com and post your event on our community calendar. 16
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Business
SPOTLIGHT
Cosmetic Advancements & the Science of Aging Well For close to 20-years, Chernoff Cosmetic Surgeons has brought state-of-the-art cosmetic procedures and exceptional patient care to Indianapolis. Advanced surgical, non-surgical, and aesthetic treatments combined with an extraordinary commitment to research and results have earned the practice a reputation that is difficult to match. Chernoff Cosmetic Surgeons is one of the largest and most contemporary Cosmetic and Laser Centers in the Midwest. The Center performs thousands of treatments and extensive research for biotech & laser manufactures. Dr. Chernoff is involved in several exciting research programs. One program investigates how fibroblasts, stem cells, and other forms of regenerative medicine are paving the way for numerous aesthetic and health improving treatments. This research will expand the treatments available to our patients from tissue repair, joint pain to hair replacement. Early access to new treatments and therapies combined with expertise and knowledge, allow Dr. Chernoff’s patients to benefit from state-of-the-art treatments for any skin problem or improvement goal.
Laser Assisted & Endoscopic Procedures
A significant advancement in cosmetic surgery has been the use of a laser and endoscope in surgical facial rejuvenation procedures. Patients who are not ready for a larger cosmetic procedure have experienced excellent results with this option. Sagging jowls, eyelids, and eyebrows, can easily and quickly be restored. Patients now have the option of no anesthesia and minimal downtime with these treatments. “I came to Dr. Chernoff because I wanted to look by best, natural, and not overdone. The endoscopic and laser assisted procedures made such a difference and the care I received after my procedure was outstanding. My healing time was shorter than I expected. My only regret was waiting so long to have it done!� 18
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Greg Chernoff, M.D. F.R.C.S.(C)
Radio Frequency, Ultrasound, & Light-Based Therapy
Chernoff Cosmetic Surgeons offers the highest intensity and effective Radio Frequency (RF), Ultrasound, and Light-Based treatments. RF uses high frequency energy waves to tighten and tone skin. The non-ablative treatment is excellent for fine lines, collagen building, scar therapy, and acne control. Ultrasound stimulates the deep tissue for optimal skin tightening and collagen building. RF and Ultrasound combined decrease fat, cellulite, tighten skin, and improve overall skin quality. Intense Pulsed Light rejuvenates skin, improves sun damage, spots, acne, redness, and fine lines. These treatments combined with medical facials, spa treatments, and custom medical skincare; provide exceptional results for Dr. Chernoff’s patients.
wrinkles, and overall skin tone and quality.
Advancements in Fractionated CO2 Therapy
An advanced and effective in-office laser treatments offered at Chernoff Cosmetic Surgery is Fractionated C02 Therapy. The treatment uses micro penetration energy points which seals the treated area. This process boosts collagen building deep into the layers of skin. The treatment ranges from non-ablative to moderately ablative based on the therapeutic settings used. This treatment improves skin tone, builds collagen, reducing acne, improves fine lines, age spots, scars, sun damage, stretch marks, and pore size.
New Therapeutic Laser Technology
Chernoff Cosmetic Surgeons is the first Cosmetic Center in the United States to administer MultiWave low-level light based laser therapy for pain management, tissue repair, wound healing, and inflammation. The treatment works by penetrating the tissue with multiple low-level lasers or lightemitting diodes to alter and improve cellular function. Dr. Chernoff also offers a therapeutic laser treatment for Smoking Cessation and Weight Loss to help our patients reach optimal health.
Advanced Injectable & Combination Therapy
Chernoff Cosmetic Surgeons now offers “Naturally Your Best” therapy. This therapy combines injectable options and other treatments to plump lips, smooth folds, reduce fine lines, and improve skin quality. Additionally, the Center offers long-lasting and natural options like cellular therapy and autologous fat injections to help patents improve scars, lines,
Dr. Chernoff has dedicated himself to the art and science of medicine, patient care, and aging well. After medical school, Dr. Chernoff completed a fiveyear residency followed by three years of intensive fellowship training in Facial Plastic, Reconstructive Surgery, Laser Therapy, Breast Rejuvenation and Body Contouring. This training provided him with comprehensive expertise matched by very few. His innate aesthetic vision, meticulous surgical skills, and his gentle humility, provide his patients with a quality of care that is second to none. Dr. Chernoff combines meticulous surgical techniques with the latest nonsurgical therapies to give his patients consistent rejuvenation results. Julie Leonetti is a Registered Nurse and has over 25-years of experience in cosmetic medicine. Julie is a certified injection specialist and trains nurses and physicians on the art of meticulous injection techniques. Julie is an expert in surgical and nonsurgical options. She has performed thousands of injectable and laser treatments and instructs healthcare professions on optimal patient care. Julie and Dr. Chernoff spend countless hours educating patients prior to any cosmetic procedure from injectable therapy to surgery. Dr. Chernoff and Julie care for patient’s everyday after surgery (including weekends) to provide reassurance and follow-up care. Dr. Chernoff is one of the few remaining physicians who will make house calls for patients. Both Julie and Dr. Chernoff live by a “what ever it takes” approach to providing patients with exceptional results.
Call 317.573.8899 to schedule a consultation to learn about the best treatment option for you. Visit www.drchernoff.com for upcoming educational seminars and events.
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Colon Hydrotherapy – The Internal Bath The colon, as the large intestine is known, is the end portion of the human digestive tract. Approximately 5 to 5½ feet long and 2½ inches in diameter, its major function is to eliminate waste from the body. Beneficial bacteria living in the healthy colon synthesize valuable nutrients such as vitamins ‘K’ and portions of the ‘B’ Nancy Spahr, complex. Founder Amazingly, the average person eating the Standard American Diet accumulates 10 – 25 pounds of dried, encrusted fecal matter sticking to the walls of their colon! The putrefying toxins, parasites and yeast generated from accumulating such quantities of waste matter are responsible for many body imbalances and, in the end, disease. Colon Hydrotherapy, also known as colonics, is the gentle infusion of warm water into the colon that encourages the release of waste. This process
is repeated in a modest, comfortable and safe environment using specially designed equipment with a colon Hydrotherapist in attendance. Colon hydrotherapy naturally relieves and eliminates the symptoms of a whole host of digestive problems such as: sluggish, difficult or irregular elimination (constipation), leaky bowel syndrome, digestive distress, gas & bloating, skin disorders, irritable bowel syndrome, eating disorders, and candida (yeast infections). IMPROVEMENT will occur in physical attributes such as weight, metabolism, minor body aches and pains, chronic skin issues, energy levels, chronic fatigue, headaches, fibromyalgia and even sexual performance. Many grateful clients claim they “have never felt this good before.” During a CONSULTATION with Cleansing Waters, the colon therapist makes specific recommendations for the course of your colonics, nutritional needs and diet changes to enhance your colon’s ability to function properly and for your overall health. The “internal bath” can restore balance in the body and affect every aspect of your life.
To learn more about improving your digestive and colon health call Cleansing Waters - a Colon Hydrotherapy and Body Ecology Center dedicated to empowering the individual in reclaiming health and wellness in a natural and sensible manner. 317-259-0796. Please say “I found it in Indy Metro Woman Magazine!” Thanks!
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May The Road Rise Up To Meet You… “May the road rise up to meet you. May the wind always be at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face, and rains fall soft upon your fields. And until we meet again, May God hold you in the palm of His hand.” Author Unknown
I have always loved this poem. Over the years, I have used it to close when speaking before groups. It is said that it is an Irish blessing, and on some level, I thought that perhaps I loved it because of my strong Irish roots. However, at church last Sunday, it was featured in our Sunday program that the origin of this poem is from Roman 15:13 in the Bible. That made me smile because Romans 15:13 has become one of my favorite verses over the last few years. It says, “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him…” The sentiment in each of these writings provides something that money cannot buy. Each of them is filled with wishes Lisa Adler Trust & Estate Practice Group
that can be attained through a walk alone around your neighborhood. As we all face difficulties of different kinds, it is good to remember that these wishes do not come with Marti Starkey an exculpatory Chair, Trust & Estate Practice Group clause…for example, “peace only provided when your way is clear.” Quite the opposite is true; I believe that this is available to us in the most difficult of circumstances. I am not talking about an ingrown toenail here, I am talking about the real things that you and I experience in our lives – the death of a beloved family member, the diagnosis of our own or a spouse’s dreaded disease, the loss of a job without the assurance of a replacement one, and the list goes on. Life deals some fairly challenging blows, and it is good to remember that there is a place of solace, and we do not have to travel outside of ourselves to find it. by Marti Starkey
WILLS, TRUSTS, ESTATES, ELDER LAW and RELATED COMPLEX LITIGATION
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l. Dawn Ayers MD, Medical Director r. Sheila Henson RD, Program Director
A healthy lifestyle is important. That’s no secret, of course, but neither is it easy for many people. For those who have a hard time maintaining a healthy weight, the staff at Health & Nutrition Technology, with several central Indiana locations, can help. HNT specializes in obesity management, with registered dieticians who are committed to helping people achieve and maintain their weight-loss goals for life Below, HNT’s Dr. Dawn Ayers, an endocrinologist, addresses consumers’ top concerns about weight management.
READY FOR RESULTS? Safe, rapid, and effective weight loss.
Q: Why is it so hard for some people to lose weight and keep it off? A: Most weight-loss attempts fail because people make only temporary changes. To keep weight off, your lifestyle needs to change. It requires learning new skills and practicing them until they become a habit. Q: I’ve tried and failed on many diets. What approach do you recommend for patients like me? A: What I’ve seen work best for my patients is a comprehensive medically supervised weight-management program like the one offered by HNT. The program should combine long-term group classes that help you learn and practice healthy skills and provide a nutritionally complete meal plan with medical supervision. Q: How can I find out more information? A: Health & Nutrition Technology is a viable, safe, rapid and effective approach to a very difficult reality for much of the U.S. and for fellow Hoosiers. If you are ready to change your life, call HNT.
317.489.4817 / www.hntindiana.com Call for FREE Orientation dates...and check out success stories on facebook! Carmel l Peru l Noblesville l Plainfield l Castleton 32
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Dental Training in High Gear
12 Week Dental Assistant Program Limited Enrollment Personalized Training Latest Technology Digital Radiography Software Training Advanced Products & Procedures
317.585.9015 9780 Lantern Rd., Ste. 130 Fishers, IN 46037 www.dentalofficetraining.net find us on facebook!
With post high school education in high gear throughout the country, now is a perfect time to investigate the medical/ dental field. You can become a highly skilled dental professional through an Intense Hands-on 12-week Dental Assistant Training Program. Indiana University’s record Spring graduating class is indicative of the national surge in education pursuits. Dental Office Training by Lynn has led the way in providing a tremendous opportunity for those wishing to enter the medical field. As a licensed dental hygienist with over 25 years’ experience in dentistry, Lynn Uptgraft established Dental Office Training by Lynn for the training and development of dental assistants. Her program provides intense, hands-on training, as well as the study of terminology, anatomy, and technology that is vital in obtaining employment in the dental office today. The Dental Office Training program offers a great curriculum including personalized training, limited enrollment, ISDH accredited digital radiology and software training in the latest technology. Lynn’s course has a maximum enrollment of TWELVE students so that more personalized training can be given. The course is outlined with a Practical Curriculum, as well as Classroom Lectures on Classifications, Anatomy, Tooth Descriptions, Armamentarium, Cavity Preparations, How to Place Varnish, Liners & Bases, Wedge Placement and Matrices of all types for the anterior and posterior. It covers resin materials in completions from the different generations of etch/prime/bond, to how to work with shades in the posterior and anterior area of the mouth. Lynn is now very proud to be accepting VA benefits for her classes. The Department of Labor states that between the years 2004-2014, dental assisting is projected to be one the fastest growing occupations. Dental assisting is a great family-oriented career. Most dentists work a 32hour workweek and have weekends and holidays off. This is a career that you can use as a stepping stone to higher paying occupations.
To learn more about this great opportunity you can reach Lynn at 317-585-9015 or visit DentalOfficeTraining.net.
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The HCG Story... The story of HCG began in the Fifties when, after having done research on weight loss for 40 years and research on HCG specifically for twenty years, Dr. Simeons reported that patients taking small amounts of HCG, in conjunction Kathryn Azhar, Owner with a very low and her staff calorie diet, could lose weight safely and quickly, without exercise, hunger, irritability, muscle injury or weakness. But all HCG is not created equal. Unfortunately, there has been a lot of confusion created by products being sold without guidance that call themselves “HCG” but do not contain any in their ingredient list. HCG is one of 67 hormones naturally produced in the human body, so if a product states that it is hormone free; it is not HCG. Dr. Simeons’ diet protocol ought not to be followed without real HCG. The Pounds and Inches Away program starts with pharmaceutical HCG. HCG (Human Chorionic Gonadotropin) is not a growth or sex hormone; it does not feminize men or masculinize women. It is not an appetite suppressant, stimulant or vitamin supplement. Nor does HCG produce weight loss by itself. However, in concert with a very specific balanced diet, and our help in avoiding unexpected environmental or behavioral deviations, HCG will allow the body to naturally pull the nutrients and calories needed from stored fat reserves into the blood stream at the rate of 1500 to 4000 calories per day. We are sure that those who follow our protocol WILL lose 20-30 pounds in 40 days. These fantastic results ARE typical with our full service packages. The Pounds and Inches Away program is not your run of the mill “eat less and exercise more” diet for a slow loss of 1 to 2 pounds a week that seems to take the rest of your life.
Our protocol tricks Mother Nature a little, maybe, however only natural processes are at work. Per Dr. Simeons, it is safe and so very effective.
My Story About a year After ago, I had given up. I’d given up on ever losing the weight I had put on Before over the past 10 years. I tried everything out there and nothing worked. One day I saw an ad for Pounds and Inches Away in Castleton. I called them and decided to try their HCG Weigh Loss Program. I started the program in September of 2012and was amazed how easily the weight came off. The staff at Pounds and Inches Away were very supportive and helpful. I could call them or e-mail them with questions. They even called me to help with my accountability. Yes I had to follow the program but with their direction I was able to lose weight more easily and effectively than I ever had before. Even more amazing it has not come back. And I lost weight. I completed two rounds between Labor Day 2012 and Easter 2013 – and I lost 52 lbs. Losing the weight made me realize – I wasn’t as old as I felt! My blood pressure is down, my cholesterol is improving. My health, overall, is significantly improved from a year ago. It wasn’t easy, but it was absolutely worth it. I feel alive again – and it’s all because I walked into Pounds and Inches Away, Castleton, and let them get me started on a new path. Carolyn from Indianapolis To get slim and stay that way, call our office at (317) 849-THIN today. We will help you reach your weight loss goals and improve your health, appearance and self-image. Nothing tastes as good as THIN feels…
Prescription or Homeopathic HCG Available www.PoundsandInchesAway.net
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