AB3 Design: Integrated Books by Hugh Adams

AB3 Design Integrated Books

AB3 is celebrating 25 years of designing integrated books. This brochure is a selection of our favourite book designs, from 128-page black & white to fully integrated 576-page colour. A wide range of subject matters are represented including history, military, cookery, humour, sport, hobbies, trivia and guides. If you would like to talk to us about our designs, please call Hugh Adams on +44 (0)7960 285138 or email hugh@ab3design.co.uk

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6. MATURITY 8 “I attribute my longevity to constant smoking and marrons glacés.” NÖEL COWARD

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T Y P E S

O F

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C H A P

The Old Codger U

nlike the Dandy, this hearty fellow can’t wait to tuck into his roast guinea fowl, followed by a mountain of proteroles. He usually favours some form of facial hair and relies on his tailor to disguise his burgeoning embonpoint. His wardrobe contains row upon row of tweed suits and Tattersall check shirts, and he probably does not own a single pair of swimming trunks.

H A B I TAT Either a modest little pile in Shropshire or a town house in Surrey.

FEEDING Hearty English fare (none of that foreign muck), and the sorts of town restaurants where the food is served from trolleys by elderly waiters.

M AT I N G The old codger is more interested in pudding than popsies, but occasionally harbours some dark perversion that he pays a young lady in Mayfair to see to once a month.

M I G R AT I O N The old codger would never travel abroad in search of warmer climes. When it gets cold he simply adds another dog to his bed.

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D E A D

D A N D I E S

Terry-Thomas I

f a distinction can be made between a cad and a bounder, it could be made along sartorial lines. A bounder is usually more amboyantly dressed than a cad – whose womanizing is slightly more underhand than a bounder’s. If the accepted crown of English caddery is held by Leslie Phillips, the garland for über-bounder must surely go to Terry-Thomas. Even as a child, the young Thomas Terry Hoar Stevens felt he had been the victim of a genetic mix-up when he was born into North Finchley of a father who worked at Smitheld meat market. Persuaded to enter his father’s profession, the 16-yearold T-T turned up on his rst day in a taupe double-breasted suit with a carnation, a green pork pie hat and yellow kid gloves, twirling a silver-topped Malacca cane. It was, he would later recall, “the rst, ne, orid rapture” of his adult dandyism. In the army, T-T insisted on wearing brown suede shoes with his Khakis – a colour reserved for ofcers, which he was not. He even persuaded former tailors in his regiment to run him up a bespoke battle dress based on his own design. With his elongated whangee cigarette holder, he cut such a dash in the entertainment corps that he was regularly saluted as an ofcer. It wasn’t long before his true calling beckoned, and T-T quickly rose through the ranks of comedy roles in radio, television and lm, eventually establishing himself in Hollywood as the archetypal English upper class twit. He dressed accordingly in real life and even managed to iron all the Finchley out of his accent. Terry-Thomas’s was not a maverick wardrobe, but it did contain a few individual ourishes. Offset against some 80 bespoke suits were 150 of his trademark fancy waistcoats, both double- and single-breasted and fashioned of every conceivable fabric from red velvet to mink (yes, this does sound a tad vulgar – but the latter was made especially for the premiere of Make Mine Mink in 1960). He always had the breast pockets on his suits cut seven inches deep, to accommodate his cigarette holders, and he never left the house without a clove carnation buttonhole, even if he were simply popping out to the pub.

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S A R T O R I A L

H I S T O R Y

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the stiletto, often used by pimps to protect their professional charges. A ve-inch blade emerged from the head when the cane was icked against the forearm. A gentleman traveller named Edward Barton-Wright developed an entire system of self-defence for gentlemen, using canes, sticks and umbrellas, known as Bartitsu, which he based on martial arts he had studied in the orient. Regular classes were held in London and the system even got a mention in the Adventures of Sherlock Holmes. As the Victorians explored the farther reaches of the world, so they discovered new and exotic materials with which to fashion canes. The entire spinal columns of sharks and stingrays were used as canes, lled with an iron rod and led to a smooth column. The most unusual animal cane is the Bull pizzle. The bull’s penis was severed and stretched from a beam until it was some three feet long. Over time it would harden and the top would be decorated with a smoked bull’s testicle.

The Walking Cane

alking canes rst came into fashion around the end of the 17th century. The bewildering variety of styles reects their purpose: a gnarled, robust stick with a head made from an antler will serve you in the country, while a narrower stick made from ebony with a silver top will cut more of a dash in town. k In the walking cane’s sartorial peak, the late Victorian era, the most they came to denote a man’s unusual professional status: medical men would have a cane with a coiled animal cane serpent around the head, while is the bull members of the aristocracy’s canes pizzle would bear their crest embossed into the gold head. Much lower k down the social scale were the scrimshaw canes, carved by whalers out of chunks of whalebone and decorated with nautical scenes and sexual fantasies. Ironically, these now command vast sums at auction. Victorian gentlemen were much prone to attack from footpads and rufans, and soon learned to use their walking canes to great advantage. First came the swordstick, with a two-foot blade concealed in the shaft. Then there was

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T he BORgiA chROnicles

Mary Hollingsworth

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A lonso de BoRjA from royal secretary to servant of rome

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r odrigo BorgiA from eminence to pre-eminence

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a lexander vi the second borgia pope and his family

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c esare and

lucrezia BOrGia conquests in battle and in love

1501–1503

c esare and

lucrezia BOrGia the duke and the duchess

1503–1519

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1503–1519 F CESARE AND LUCREZIA BORGIA

When Pope Alexander VI died in August 1503 he left a College of Cardinals dominated by his appointees: over seventy per cent of the cardinals had been created by him. They included five of his relatives and another ten cardinals who owed their allegiance to Spain. By this means Alexander VI had done as much as he could to assure the election of a pope who would be well-disposed to the Borgia family, and especially of one who would support Cesare’s duchy in the Romagna. But no papal election could be guaranteed, and the uncertainty was exacerbated by a college that remained riven by factionalism.

1503 Alexander VI’s successor opened on 16 September, bitterly divided between its French and Spanish factions. In the end the cardinals opted for a compromise candidate, and on 22 September the elderly Cardinal Francesco Piccolomini – not too old, at 64, but frail and suffering badly from gout – was elected. He chose the name Pius III in memory of his uncle Pius II, Enea Silvio Piccolomini, from whom he had received his cardinal’s hat. ‘It is said that he comes from a good background and has lived a good life. He is 72 [sic] years old and they say he has 12 children, sons and daughters.’ 1

The co n cl ave T o e l e cT

320 previous page Lucrezia Borgia, painted (early 16th century) by Bartolomeo Veneto. This beguiling portrait of Lucrezia, with her golden hair and a posy of daisies, a symbol of innocence, in her hand, conforms to all that we know about her. It displays the loveliness that so impressed the citizens of Ferrara when she arrived as Alfonso’s bride in February 1502, and silenced many of those who suspected she was guilty of adultery and incest.

above Embossed copper brazier (late 15th century). Portable and convenient, braziers were part of the furnishing of a cardinal’s conclave cubicle, where they were filled with charcoal and used to heat dishes of food brought to the Vatican. right Cesare Borgia. The best-known portrait of Cesare, attributed to Altobello Meloni (fl.1497–1517), it portrays an elegant modish man, wearing expensive leather gloves, which were usually perfumed with musk.

1503–1519 F CeSaRe aND LUCReZIa boRGIa

CESARE AND LUCREZIA BORGIA F 1503–1519

rain. There have also been powerful thunderstorms with much lightning, so that on the first day of the month the Po broke its banks and flooded all of Bondeno.9 Lucrezia Borgia celebrated Christmas and New Year in Ferrara, where the ducal court usually also celebrated Carnival; she also discovered that she was pregnant for a third time since her marriage to Alfonso d’Este.

1505

above Sisters playing chess, painted by Sofonisba Anguissola. This charming picture illustrates the popularity of board games during the Renaissance, of which chess was just one type, though considered more respectable than many others because of the skill needed to play the game well. The board, with its precisely detailed set of chessmen, rests on a table covered with a carpet, a distinctive feature of the furnishings of a wealthy household. The

sisters too are depicted with care, providing clear evidence of the materials and styles of the dresses worn in a prosperous 16th-century home. The necklace worn by the youngest sister is made of coral, widely believed to protect children from harm. This intimate family portrait, which depicts Sofonisba Anguissola’s own sisters and one of their servants, was painted by one of the few female artists to gain fame in the Renaissance.

On 1 January Alexander VI’s cousin Cardinal Juan Castellar died of kidney disease, at the age of 63. He was in Valencia, where he was negotiating with Ferdinand of Spain. Towards the end of the month, on 25 January, Duke Ercole died. He was succeeded by his son, who became Alfonso I of Ferrara, and thus Lucrezia was now Duchess of Ferrara. Nevertheless, she needed to bear Alfonso sons and heirs to make her position properly secure. By now Lucrezia also had the care of several Borgia children in Ferrara: Cesare’s illegitimate children, Girolamo and Camilla, had probably been sent to her two years earlier, and this year they were joined by the seven-year-old Giovanni Borgia – Alexander VI’s son and thus Lucrezia’s half-brother. In June Lucrezia appointed Alberto Pio, the lord of nearby Carpi, as guardian to Giovanni.

Ferrara’s Palazzo Ducale The ducal palace was in the centre of Ferrara, next to the cathedral and the main market square. The massive 14th-century Castello Vecchio was one of the largest and most impressive defensive structures in Italy, and it provided a fitting symbol of ducal power. Attached to the castle was the Palazzo del Corte, which provided a setting for the display of cultural prestige. The palace had been remodelled by Duke Ercole with new courtyards and gardens, a chapel, apartments for himself and his wife, an imposing ceremonial staircase for the reception of important guests and the Sala delle Commedie – the first purpose-built theatre since Antiquity. The reception rooms inside the palace were superb: they were known as the Camere Dorate (golden rooms) from their ornate gilded stucco decoration. Their walls were hung with costly tapestries and the floors ornamented with tiles painted with the Este arms and devices. Duke Ercole even installed flaps in the doors of the rooms for his beloved cats.10

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1501–1503 F CeSaRe aND LUCReZIa boRGIa

CESARE AND LUCREZIA BORGIA F 1501–1503

of an elderly man duped by his slave: ‘there were so many tapers and candles that everyone could see it all in detail’.31 The festivities continued for the following week, with daily banquets and dancing followed by the performance of a comedy by Plautus. On Sunday 6 February the guests attended mass in Ferrara cathedral, where Alfonso d’Este was invested, in the name of the pope, as ducal heir, kneeling in front of the altar wearing a ducal cap embroidered with pearls and trimmed with ermine, and a magnificent gilded sword, both presents from his new father-in-law. On Ash Wednesday, 9 February, the bridal couple received presents from the ambassadors and Duke Ercole escorted his daughter-in-law to watch the performance of a tightrope artist, who ‘did many things on two ropes which were stretched across the piazza, including walking across in full armour and dancing a la moresca and many other marvellous things’.32 In Rome meanwhile, on 17 February, Alexander VI left the city with a party that consisted of Duke Cesare, cardinals Francisco Borgia, Pedro Luis Borgia, Juan Castellar, Ippolito d’Este, Giovanni Battista Orsini, Federigo Sanseverino and Antoniotto Pallavicini, seven bishops and over a hundred of his household, including the papal choir. They headed for Civitavecchia, where: Three boats were prepared for the pope’s journey to Piombino and oarsmen were needed. They used all those prisoners in jail for petty crimes, and they also found many men in the inns of Rome, or on the piazzas, who they persuaded by violence or deception, whatever was necessary. Finally they requisitioned all barge owners, many fishermen and woodcutters. All of them and others, were forced into service on the galleys and were kept there under guard.33

294 above Sacred and Profane Love, by Titian. In this painting (c.1513–14), Titian contrasts the two types of earthly love, one sanctified by the sacrament of marriage, the other not. On the left is a mortal figure of a bride, dressed in white with a jewelled belt at her waist and a coronet of myrtle, the fragrant evergreen shrub that was a symbol both of Venus and of eternal love; the two rabbits behind the bride suggest fertility and fecundity. To her left

(our right) are the divine figures of Cupid and Venus, the one charmingly fascinated by the water in the fountain, which is ornamented with a relief inspired by antique sculpture, and the other an elegantly sensuous nude, her beauty enhanced by the red and white cloths that frame the outlines of her body. Paintings of nudes were popular in the Renaissance and were frequently commissioned to hang in the bedrooms of their rich patrons.

The papal party spent four nights in Piombino, a key stronghold in Duke Cesare’s plans for Tuscany, then sailed to Elba for a night, returning to Piombino on 26 February. ‘I heard from a reliable witness that in Piombino the pope had all the beautiful women and young girls dancing for many hours in the public square in front of his palace and that

1503–1519 F CESARE AND LUCREZIA BORGIA

1506 The pope himself led his troops into battle, and on 11 November he made his triumphal entry into Bologna.

During this year Sancia of Aragon, wife of Cesare’s brother Jofrè, died in Naples. Rodrigo, the son of Lucrezia and her previous husband Alfonso of Aragon, who had been in the care of Sancia, was now sent to Bari and the court of Isabella of Aragon, Dowager Duchess of Milan. The widowed Jofrè soon married again, choosing Maria de Milà, another member of the Borgia clan, and the couple would go on to have four children. On 22 July Cardinal Francisco Loriz, Alexander VI’s great-nephew, died in Rome at the age of 36, after having led an ‘immoral life’. Nevertheless, Julius II ordered him to be buried in St Peter’s. In late July two of Duke Alfonso’s brothers, Don Ferrante and Giulio, were discovered plotting to assassinate the duke. At the trial, which opened on 3 August, the two men and their fellow conspirators were found guilty and sentenced to death. The duke, however, pardoned his brothers though he imprisoned them for life. ‘Don Ferrante threw himself onto his knees at the duke’s feet and begged his forgiveness,’ recorded the chronicler Zerbinati, ‘but he was put in a room in the tower with several guards and four days later the duke bricked up the windows so that he could not see out of the room; he was about 28 years old.’ 13 In Spain, on 25 October, Cesare Borgia managed successfully to escape from the fortress at Medina del Campo and, although injured in a fall, was able to ride off and make good his escape. Lucrezia was again pregnant when the joyful news of Cesare’s escape arrived in Ferrara, on 20 November. By 3 December, Cesare had made his way to the safety of Pamplona, capital of the kingdom of his brother-inlaw Jean d’Albret, King of Navarre. Meanwhile, Julius II had embarked on a military campaign to restore his authority in the Papal States, where the Venetians had taken advantage of the power vacuum left by the collapse of Cesare’s duchy to expand their influence on the mainland. The pope himself led his troops into battle, and on 11 November he made his triumphal entry into Bologna.

334 right Pope Julius II, painted by Raphael. One of the scenes decorating the pope’s new apartments in the Vatican, this detail from the Mass at Bolsena (1512), shows the pope kneeling in prayer. He is as witness to a 13th-century miracle that saw blood seep out of a communion wafer as proof of the Catholic doctrine of transubstantiation, a controversial issue that was soon to take centre stage in the Protestant Reformation and

divide both Europe and the Church. Raphael’s portrait captures the character of this fierce and stubborn pope who before his pontificate, as Cardinal Giuliano della Rovere, had been one of Alexander VI’s most vexing rivals and who, after Alexander’s death, would not only effectively end the Borgia pope’s ambitions for his son, Cesare, but also threaten the future of Lucrezia.

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CESARE AND LUCREZIA BORGIA F 1503–1519

1507 In J anuar y Luc r ezIa s uffer ed another miscarriage, owing, it was said, to too much dancing and revelry over Christmas. On 12 March, Lucrezia lost her much-loved older brother. Cesare Borgia died in battle, killed in a skirmish while fighting for the King of Navarre. His wife, Charlotte d’Albret, went into deep mourning. She wore black for the rest of her life, even hanging her rooms with black cloth, using black sheets and decorating her dinner-plates with black patterns; she did, however, take good care of her daughter’s inheritance, to which she added several titles, including the French county of Châlus.14 Lucrezia was told the news of her brother’s death on 22 April: ‘she did not cry but displayed great sadness and great fortitude’.15 As for Cesare’s own attitudes to death, ‘better to die in the saddle than in bed’ was his view according to one chronicler.16 In a further sign of the changing times, Julius II announced on 26 November that he was moving out of the papal apartments in the Vatican, which had been decorated by Alexander VI with many portraits of his family, because he could not abide being reminded of these ‘marrani’.17 He moved into the rooms above, which had once been occupied by Cesare, commissioning Raphael’s frescoes – the socalled Stanze di Raffaello. By the end of the year Lucrezia was pregnant again.

1508

Lucrezia gave birth to another son, named Ercole in honour of his paternal grandfather.

O n 4 ap r IL Lucrezia gave birth to another son, named Ercole in honour of his paternal grandfather. The event was celebrated in grand style, though not without mishap on the first days, when fireworks caused fires to start. On 5 June the Spanish priest who had helped Cesare to escape from Medina del Campo the previous year, and who had been given shelter in Lucrezia’s 337

Horseman Falling. This masterful sketch by the Venetian artist Titian captures, with consummate skill, the dramatic moment when a bareback rider loses control just before falling off his mount. It conveys vividly the alarm in the horse’s eyes as it loses its footing in a charge. In the violence

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1520 AND AFTER F THE BORGIA DESCENDANTS

THE BORGIA DESCENDANTS F 1520 AND AFTER

1545–1549 Cardinal Ippolito left France for Rome.

founded a Jesuit College in Gandia. The next year saw the death of his wife, the Duchess Eleonora de Castro, and Francisco now decided to renounce his title and name his son, Carlos, the 5th Duke of Gandia; and on 1 February 1548, Francisco Borgia joined the Jesuits. Alexander VI’s eldest daughter, Isabella Borgia, died at the age of 80 in 1547; she had lived most of her life in Rome, in the house provided for her by her father. And the following year Alexander VI’s youngest child Giovanni Borgia, born to him during his papacy, died in Genoa. During 1547, Giovanni Battista Borgia, Prince of Squillace and grandson of Alexander’s son Jofrè, built a new town near Catanzaro, which he named Borgia; it replaced a village that had been decimated by malaria and Turkish pirates.

in 1545, the new duke FranCisCO

The Jesuits The Society of Jesus was founded in 1534 by the Spaniard Ignatius Loyola and a group of companions in Paris. They moved to Rome in 1538, where the society was recognized by Pope Paul III in 1540: Loyola was elected as the society’s first general the following year.

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The Jesuits were not a monastic order, though they took vows of poverty, chastity and obedience, especially to the pope, and demanded strict conformity to their rules. Above all, they followed Loyola’s Spiritual Exercises, a programme for prayer that urged his followers to meditate on the life of Christ and re-enact the scenes of the Passion, the torments of Hell and the bliss of Paradise in their minds. The Jesuits lived in society, and dedicated their lives to education and missionary work, converting heretics and non-believers. The order grew dramatically under the generalships of Loyola and his successor Diego

that was endemic in Renaissance society, many cavalrymen lost their lives in battle, trampled to death under the feet of their horses, felled by cuts from a sword or blown apart by cannon fire. As Cesare Borgia said, it was ‘better to die in battle than in bed’.

Laynez, one of Loyola’s original companions. During the 1540s Jesuit colleges were founded across Spain and Italy, while another of Loyola’s original followers, Francis Xavier, travelled as far as Goa to begin his missionary work in the Far East. Jesuit churches in Rome were decorated with horrifying scenes of the brutal murders of Christian saints to encourage young novitiates to emulate these martyrs in their often dangerous missions on behalf of the Order. The mother church of the Jesuits, the Gesù, which was begun in 1568 in Rome, was built with funds supplied by Cardinal Farnese, the grandson of Paul III.

On 16 December 1548 Anna d’Este, daughter of Duke Ercole II and Renée of France, was married at St-Germain-en-Laye to Francis of Lorraine, heir to the powerful Catholic nobleman, the Duke of Guise. In May the following year, Ercole’s brother Cardinal Ippolito left France for Rome, where he was to take up the prestigious post of Cardinal-Protector of France. Pope Paul III died on 10 November, heralding another conclave in Rome.

1550–1554 was elected as Pope Julius III. Cardinal Ippolito d’Este was rewarded for his part in the conclave with the governorship of Tivoli. After the death of his father, Francis of Lorraine inherited the Duchy of Guise on 12 April 1550, and thus his wife Anna d’Este became duchess. Pope Julius III reconvened the Council of Trent in 1551: it had been forced to close in 1548 because of the wars between France and the Empire. In 1552 King Henry II of France appointed Cardinal Ippolito d’Este as Governor of Siena. On 1 October 1553 the cardinal’s daughter Renata married Luigi Pico, the Lord of Mirandola. Also in 1553, Louise Borgia – Cesare’s daughter by Charlotte d’Albret – died in France. Meanwhile Francisco Borgia, having given up the Duchy of Gandia, was progressing up the hierarchy of the Society of Jesus. On 10 June 1554 Ignatius Loyola appointed him as Commissioner-General of the Jesuits in Spain. In Ferrara during 1554, Duke Ercole II started official proceedings against his wife, Renée of France, for heresy. She was arrested but recanted her Protestant faith on 23 September, after being threatened with losing all her possessions.

On 8 February 1550 Cardinal GiOvanni Maria del MOnte

1555–1559 died; he was succeeded by Cardinal Marcello Cervini on 9 April, but the new pope died less than a month later, on 1 May. The second conclave of the year saw the election of the reformist founder of the Theatine Order, Giampietro Carafa, who took the name Paul IV. One of his first actions was to accuse Cardinal Ippolito d’Este of trying to buy votes during the recent conclave: the cardinal was punished by being deprived of all his posts

On 23 MarCh 1555 POPe Julius iii

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Duke Ercole II started official proceedings against his wife, Renée of France, for heresy.

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THE BORGIA DESCENDANTS F 1520 AND AFTER

Lucrezia’s second son with Alfonso, Ippolito, left Ferrara on 13 March 1536 for France at the invitation of Francis I: he would spend most of the next 13 years as a guest at the French court. One of his closest friends there was to be Henry II d’Albret, King of Navarre, and first cousin to his own cousin Louise Borgia. In October 1536 King Francis gave Ippolito the Archbishopric of Lyon, one of the premier sees of France. In April 1536 the Protestant reformer John Calvin spent several weeks in Ferrara as a guest of Duchess Renée, who was very sympathetic to the Protestant cause. On 22 December of the same year Pope Paul III gave a cardinal’s hat to the 12-year-old Rodrigo Luis Borgia, the first son of Juan, 3rd Duke of Gandia, by his second wife. But on 6 August 1537 the young cardinal died, just as the papal legate arrived in Gandia to bestow the red hat on him. During 1537 Cesare Borgia’s illegitimate son Girolamo was married to a daughter of the Lord of Carpi; and Renée of France gave birth to another daughter, named Eleonora. On 20 December 1538 Pope Paul III created Ippolito d’Este a cardinal, but the promotion remained secret; the other cardinal whose name was kept back from the official list that day was Pietro Bembo, the former lover of Ippolito’s mother, Lucrezia Borgia. The next day, the Duchess Cardinal Pietro Bembo, painted by Titian. A close friend of Titian, Bembo was 70 years old when this portrait was painted in 1540, marking his recent creation as cardinal by Pope Paul III. The poet who had once been Lucrezia’s lover was now in old age, with a long and successful career behind him, which included serving as secretary to the two Medici popes Leo X and Clement VII.

left

Protestantism in Italy When the Augustinian monk Martin Luther nailed his 95 theses against indulgences on the door of the castle in Wittenberg, on 31 October 1517, he had no idea that he was starting a revolution that would dramatically and conclusively change the religious map of Europe. Despite papal attempts to silence Luther, his ideas were rapidly disseminated in cheap pamphlets printed in private presses across Europe. ‘Man is justified by faith alone’ he argued, and his study of the Bible led him to challenge many of the basic tenets of the Church, including the miracle of transubstantiation that Catholics believed took place at the consecration of the host, clerical celibacy and the supreme power of the pope in Rome. Luther’s ideas found many followers in Italy, especially among those keen to eradicate corruption in the Church. The head of the Augustinians, Girolamo Seripando, was accused of being a Lutheran, while the head of the Capuchin Order, Bernardino Ochino, announced his conversion to Protestantism in 1540, as did Cardinal Odet de Châtillon in 1561. When Pietro Vermigli, an Augustinian, became a Protestant, he was forced to leave Italy; he moved to England, where he was appointed Professor of Divinity at the University of Oxford. Others were less fortunate, and many were denounced as heretics and executed for their beliefs by the Roman Inquisition, set up in 1542.

1520 AND AFTER F THE BORGIA DESCENDANTS

The years afterwards Two descendants of Pope Alexander VI would marry into the royal Stuart house and become queens of England, Scotland and Ireland.

of Ferrara died, still without an heir. He left the duchy to his illegitimate nephew Cesare d’Este, the grandson of Alfonso I and his mistress Laura Dianti – and it thus passed from the Borgia family, though not without problems. Pope Clement VIII refused to recognize the succession and reclaimed the Duchy of Ferrara as a lapsed papal fief. The following year the pope’s nephew, Cardinal Pietro Aldobrandini, arrived in Ferrara, removing paintings and sculptures for his own collection. Duke Cesare set up the Este court instead at Modena, where it survived until 1796 when the duchy became part of the Napoleonic Empire. In 1602 the Principality of Squillace, once the possession of Jofrè Borgia, was united with the Duchy of Gandia by a marriage between these two branches of the Borgia family. The last Borgia Duke of Gandia died in 1740, without an heir. Alexander VI was not the last Borgia pope. A century and a half later, in 1644, Alexander VI’s great-great-great-grandson Giambattista Pamphili was elected Pope Innocent X. On 20 June 1671, Francisco Borgia – who had been elected Jesuit General in 1565 – was canonized by Pope Clement X. Two descendants of Pope Alexander VI would marry into the royal Stuart house and become queens of England, Scotland and Ireland: Catherine of Braganza, descended from the dukes of Gandia, married Charles II in 1662; and Mary of Modena, a descendant via the Este line, married James II in 1673; neither of them had any children. A Borgia aristocracy does, however, exist to this day, in the form of the descendants of Cesare Borgia’s daughter Louise – the counts of Busset and Châlus.

In 1597 Duke Alfonso II

372 right Pope Innocent X, painted c.1650 by Diego Velázquez. Court painter to Philip IV of Spain, Velázquez visited Rome to study Italian art and was commissioned to paint this portrait of Innocent X. One of the greatest papal portraits of all time, it skilfully captures the contrasting textures of the pope’s shiny red satin cape, his fine white linen vestments that billow out beneath and the

heavy velvet upholstery of the chair on which he is seated. This masterly study of power shows the last Borgia pope as a timid old man, neither a majestic figure nor a great communicator as his ancestor Alexander VI had been, and one who relied heavily, both politically and socially, on his domineering sister – though the rumours that their relationship was incestuous were undoubtedly false.

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THE DICTATOR THE DEATH OF DEMOCRACY ‘Hitler is Reich Chancellor. Just like a fairytale,’ was the reaction of Josef Goebbels to the Führer’s appointment as chancellor. Hitler’s waiting game had paid off. The Linz mummy’s boy, the Vienna dreamer and down-and-out, the World War I regimental runner, the police spy, the beer-hall ranter on the outer limits of Munich’s political lunatic fringe – a man with no qualifications for heading a national government – was now at the helm of one of the most important states in Europe. From the moment he was released from Landsberg prison, Adolf Hitler’s message had been clear to all those who listened: Marxism would be crushed; the Jews would be removed; parliamentary government would be suspended; a rearmed Germany would break the bonds of Versailles; Lebensraum in the East would be seized, by force of arms if necessary. He had not minced his words. Opposite: Hitler at Nuremberg, in Franconia, the geographical and cultural centre of the Third Reich, where the Gauleiter was Hitler’s old comrade Julius Streicher. Josef Goebbels called the Nuremberg rallies the ‘high mass’ of the Nazi Party. From 1933, the rallies were held in early September under the title of National Congress of the German People, a deliberate attempt to underline the solidarity between the German people and the Nazi Party. By the late 1930s, the parties were attended by over half a million people from all sections of the Party, armed forces and the state. In September 1939, the eleventh Party Congress, the ‘Rally of Peace’, was cancelled at the last minute as Hitler prepared to invade Poland.

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• HITLER

T H E D I C TATO R • 1 2 9

HITLER AND EVA BRAUN Hitler, Eva Braun, and one of Eva’s terriers, Negus, on the terrace at the Berghof. Braun became Hitler’s mistress in 1932, after the death of Geli Raubal, and remained discreetly in the background until late in the war, a position which she bitterly resented but over which she had no control. In the 1930s she made two suicide attempts, after the second of which Hitler bought her a villa in the suburbs of Munich with some of the royalties from Heinrich Hoffmann’s photographs. Braun was a great lover of cosmetics and nude sun-bathing, neither of which was to Hitler’s taste. It was not until late in the war that she made public appearances, and then only because in June 1944 her sister Gretl had married SS Gruppenführer Hermann Fegelein, the ex-jockey who was Himmler’s representative with Hitler and who was summarily executed in the last mad days in the Führerbunker. Loyal to Hitler to the end, Braun was nevertheless an unexceptional woman – in the postwar words of

Albert Speer, who knew her well, all the historians coming to the subject of Eva Braun were doomed to find her ‘a great disappointment’.

Seyss-Inquart,20 as Minister of the Interior. Remarkably, all was sweetness and light at lunch, with the generals, then Hitler and Schuschnigg returned to the Führer’s study, where Hitler threatened to march into Austria if his demands were not met in full. Schuschnigg did not buckle, but informed Hitler that only the Austrian president could sanction such measures. However, he had been left in no doubt whatsoever as to Hitler’s deadly seriousness, and before he departed he signed the list of demands. He declined Hitler’s offer of dinner. Three days later Hitler’s demands were implemented. But Schuschnigg had one more card to play. On 9 March he announced, out of the blue, that within four days he would hold a referendum on Austrian autonomy, a measure for which the Austrian Nazis had long been agitating. But the wording of the referendum, asking the electorate to back ‘a free and German, independent and social, Christian and united Austria…’ was calculated to produce the worst possible result for the Austrian Nazis. The biter had been bitten. Hitler was dumb20 Seyss-Inquart became the Austrian chancellor after the Anschluss. In October 1939 he was appointed governor-general of those areas in Poland which had not been absorbed into either Germany or the Soviet Union. In May 1940 he became the Reich Commissioner of the Netherlands with almost absolute power, being responsible only to Hitler for his actions. During his time in office he imposed fines and confiscations, inflicted reprisals, compelled five million Dutch citizens to work for Germany, and deported some hundred and twenty thousand Jews. He was captured in 1945 and executed for war crimes the following year.

founded, then seized by rage at what he considered a betrayal of the agreement signed at the Berghof. Goebbels and Göring were summoned, as was Seyss-Inquart, who was visiting southern Germany. Hitler sat up with Goebbels, outlining his plans. At midnight on 11 March, Goebbels wrote in his diary, ‘The die is cast. On Saturday march in. Push straight to Vienna. Big aeroplane action. The Führer is going himself to Austria. Göring and I are to stay in Berlin. In eight days Austria will be ours.’ On the 10th Hitler had ordered General Ludwig Beck, the Army chief of staff, and Becks’ deputy, General Erich von Manstein, to prepare for an immediate invasion of Austria. This they did with some reluctance, telling Hitler that in their opinion the Army was not ready for such a task. But as Keitel later observed, ‘their objections were summarily brushed aside by Hitler.’ On 11 March OKW issued a directive which included the announcement that the Führer himself would take charge of operations. And on the 12th, German troops proceeded to incorporate a recalcitrant Austria into the Greater German Reich. Hitler had snatched triumph from disaster. Mussolini did not intervene, prompting Hitler to shower him with extravagant thanks: ‘Please tell Mussolini I will never forget him for it, never, never, never, come what may.’ Schuschnigg, whose pleas to the British for help had fallen on deaf ears, had been replaced by Seyss-Inquart, and his cabinet was succeeded by an Austrian Ministerial Council. In a final broadcast to the Austrian people, Schuschnigg declared that Austria had yielded to force and, to spare bloodshed, the Austrian Army would offer no resistance. Shortly before 4 p.m. on 12 March 1938, Hitler crossed the Austrian border over the bridge at his birthplace, Braunau am Inn. Church bells pealed as his cavalcade of grey Mercedes limousines inched their way through streets packed with delirious crowds. The

THE BERGHOF The Berghof was Hitler’s residence in the Obersalzberg of the Bavarian Alps near Berchtesgaden. It had started life as a small chalet, Haus Wachenfeld, owned by a Buxtehude businessman, Otto Winter. In 1928 Winter’s widow rented the house to Hitler, who bought it in 1933 with royalties from the sales of Mein Kampf. In the mid-1930s he embarked on a substantial expansion of the premises which reflected his tastes in domestic architecture. The Berghof’s Great Hall groaned with heavy Teutonic furniture and hid a projection booth behind one of its walls to screen the Führer’s favourite movies. A huge picture window afforded stunning views of the mountains of his native Austria. The British Homes and Gardens magazine described Hitler as ‘his own decorator, designer, and furnisher, as well as architect’, and noted that many of the rooms contained caged canaries and were hung with Hitler’s own watercolours. Silent homemovie footage, shot by Eva Braun in the late 1930s, caught Hitler relaxing on the Berghof’s massive terrace while his German shepherd, Blondi, and Eva’s terriers mingled with the Führer’s lieutenants, Himmler, Heydrich, Goebbels, Göring and Ribbentrop. Braun herself posed for the camera, laughing coquettishly in a dirndl skirt. Hitler spent much time in the Berghof, obliging the Nazi paladins to acquire or build residences in the area. The site of Göering’s house now boasts the Intercontinental Hotel. A landing strip was built to ease the entourage’s comings and goings. From the mid-1930s, public access to the area was prevented by heavy security restrictions. Hitler’s final visit to the Berghof was in July 1944. On 25 April 1945 it was bombed by RAF Lancasters; on 4 May it was set on fire by its withdrawing SS guards, and it was subsequently sacked by Allied troops.

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THE FIREBRAND

VERSAILLES AND AFTER In a Germany rocked by revolutionary unrest, ravaged by influenza and malnutrition, and dismayed by the abdication of the Kaiser, a feeling of numb bewilderment greeted the signing of the armistice. Ordinary German civilians had been unaware of the dramatic course of events, both military and diplomatic, since July 1918.They could not comprehend why the armistice had been signed while the German Army still occupied parts of France and Belgium. A feeling grew that they had been ‘stabbed in the back’, a sentiment held by all political classes. In November 1918, returning troops were greeted by the citizens of Berlin with flowers and laurel leaves, and a speech from the new chancellor, Friedrich Ebert, in which he declared, ‘I salute you who return unvanquished from the field of battle.’ But many of these men had new battles to fight in postwar Germany. Disconnected from civilian life, they soon joined paramilitary groups, the Freikorps, which the postwar Social Democratic government led by Ebert was to use against Communist revolutionaries. Opposite: An actor prepares. In the 1920s, Hitler honed his speaking platform histrionics with obsessive attention to detail. His personal photographer Heinrich Hoffmann would capture each gesture and posture before Hitler studied the results to select the precise choreography required to deliver the maximum impact.

THE FIREBRAND • 87

urged the old man to step aside. Germany was then engulfed Opposite: Hitler with the so-called in a delirium of electioneering – this was the first of five elec- ‘Blood Banner’, a swastika flag carried during the Munich putsch and a key tions in 1932. Hitler polled 30 per cent of the thirty-eight mil- element in Nazi iconography. It had lion votes cast, while Hindenburg with over 49 per cent reputedly been soaked in the blood of Nazi nonetheless failed to achieve an absolute majority.There had to martyrs who had fallen in the November 1923 putsch, primarily Andreas Bauriendl, be a second round. who had died underneath it. At Nuremberg This saw the adoption by the NSDAP of a new propaganda rallies, in a pseudo-religious gesture, Hitler weapon. Hitler hired an aircraft for the short campaign, which touched other Nazi banners with the ‘Blood Flag’. It was last seen in public at a was truncated by Easter, enabling him to make twenty speeches Volkssturm initiation ceremony on 18 before a combined audience of nearly a million. While Hitler October 1944, which was conducted by increased his share of the vote, at over thirteen million, to 37 Heinrich Himmler and attended by many of the Nazi paladins. per cent – over one-third of the German population – it was Hindenburg, with 53 per cent, who was re-elected. April saw more state elections and more ‘Germany Flights’ by Hitler, crisscrossing the country from the biggest cities to the deepest countryside. It was a sensational progress. Crowds waited for hours in drenching rain to see him and hear him speak. When the sun shone the listeners dubbed it ‘Führer weather’. One of them was a schoolteacher, Luise Solmitz,15 who saw him near Hamburg on 23 April after waiting nearly three hours:

required a two-thirds majority in the Reichstag, but this could not be secured without the support of the NSDAP and the DNVP. Hitler withheld the support of the NSDAP on ‘constitutional, foreign-political, domestic and moral grounds’. After the customary delay, which drove Goebbels into a frenzy of impatience, Hitler agreed to his name being put forward as a candidate for the presidency.The corporal would stand against the field marshal; the fire-breathing political adventurer against the hero of Tannenberg and symbol of national values above party politics. When Goebbels announced Hitler’s candidacy at a rally in the Sportpalast on 22 February, the crowd cheered itself hoarse for ten minutes. A minor but nevertheless crucial technicality still stood in Hitler’s way. He was not a German citizen and therefore could not run for public office. However, swift steps were taken to appoint him a government councillor in the Office of State Culture and Measurements in Braunschweig and as state representative in Berlin. Thus it was as a civil servant that Hitler acquired citizenship of a state he was shortly to destroy. There were other candidates,14 but the election boiled down to a straight contest between Hitler and Hindenburg. The Nazi programme presented Hitler as the candidate for change. At a massive rally in Berlin’s Sportpalast on 27 February, he

The hours passed, the sun shone, the expectation mounted … It got to three o’clock. ‘The Führer’s coming!’ A thrill goes through the masses. Around the platform, hands could be seen raised in the Hitler greeting … There stood Hitler in a simple black coat, looking expectantly over the crowd. A forest of swastika banners rustled upwards. The jubilation of the moment gave vent to a rousing cry of ‘Heil’.Then Hitler spoke. Main idea: out of the parties a people will emerge, the German people. He castigated the system … For the rest, he refrained from personal attacks and also unspecific and specific promises. His voice was hoarse from speaking so much in previous days. When the speech was over, there were more roars of jubilation and applause. Hitler saluted, gave his thanks, the German Anthem sounded … Hitler was helped into his coat. Then he went. How many look to him in touching faith as the helper, a saviour, the redeemer from over-great distress. To him, who rescues the Prussian prince, the scholar, the clergyman, the peasant, the worker, the unemployed out of the party into the people. 14 The candidate of the bourgeois Right was Theodor Duesterberg, deputy leader of the Steel Helmets (Stahlhelm). On the Left, the Communist KPD nominated its leader, Ernst Thalmann. Thalmann was subsequently arrested by the Gestapo in 1933 and held in solitary confinement before being shot, on Hitler’s orders, in Buchenwald in 1944. 15 Solmitz’s husband was a World War I veteran and a Jewish convert to Protestantism who, along with his wife, welcomed Hitler’s accession to power. However, his status as a citizen fell foul of the Nuremberg Laws and in 1938, during the Czech crisis, he was turned away when he tried to volunteer for military service. Racism had triumphed over nationalism, as it always did in Nazi Germany.

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THE FIREBRAND • 89

• HITLER

HITLER YOUTH (HITLER-JUGEND

)

The Hitler Youth emerged as an arm of the Nazi Party in the summer of 1926. Its membership comprised youths aged between fourteen and eighteen, and by 1930 some twenty-five thousand members had enlisted. Boys aged between ten and fourteen could join a junior organization, the Deutsches Jungvölk; young women between the ages of ten and eighteen were given their own organization, the League of German Girls (Bund Deutscher Mädchen, or BDM). In 1932 the Hitler Youth was banned by Chancellor Heinrich Brüning, but a significant expansion began after Hitler became Chancellor in 1933 and Baldur von Schirach was appointed the first Reich Youth Leader (Reichsjugendführer). The Hitler Youth were seen as the ‘Aryan Supermen’ of the future, and their training emphasized physical toughness, military schooling and anti-Semitic indoctrination. Their uniforms aped those of the SA, with similar ranks and insignia. Membership was organized into corps under adult leaders, and from 1936 it was compulsory for all young German men. It was seen as an important stepping stone to membership of the SS and, for a significant minority, a forcing ground for future officers of the Wehrmacht. Outstanding Hitler Youth members also attended special Adolf Hitler schools for grooming as the Party leaders of the future. By 1938 there were eight million young men and women in the Third Reich’s youth organizations, although some three million remained outside in spite of severe penalties for parents who refused to co-operate. During World War II, under the leadership of Artur Axmann, the Hitler Youth manned the air defences in Germany’s cities and played a significant role in the air raid precautions programme and other auxiliary services. From 1943, the Hitler Youth provided a manpower reserve for the Third Reich’s depleted armed forces. The Twelfth SS Panzer Division Hitlerjugend, composed principally of boys between the ages of sixteen and eighteen, earned a fearsome reputation during the Normandy campaign of 1944. By early 1945, as the Red Army advanced on Berlin, Hitler Youth members were swelling the ranks of the Völkssturm, the last-ditch defenders of the Third Reich. Left: Hitlerjugend drummers at a Party rally. The movement stressed the importance of ultra-patriotism in German national life and used camps and rallies to inculcate the Nazi creed.

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• HITLER

when isolated from the main body of the retreating French Army. On 9 June Army Group A, led by Panzer Group Guderian, went on the attack on the River Aisne. It encountered heroic resistance from the French Fourteen Division, led by General Lattre de Tassigny, but the German drive rolled on. General Guderian recalled that First Panzer Division advanced ‘as though this were a peacetime manoeuvre’. The aged Marshal Pétain, the hero of Verdun who had been brought out of retirement as France’s deputy prime minister, was now begged by his former chief of staff, Bernard Serringny, to bring President Roosevelt into the imminent armistice negotiations before Italy joined the war. But Roosevelt had already told the French prime minister, Paul Reynaud, that he had no power to influence the situation in France and could offer no more material aid. On 10 June, Italy declared war on France and Reynaud moved the government from Paris to Tours on the River Loire. There, on the following day, he and the British prime minister, Winston Churchill, met for a final conference. Churchill, who had succeeded Neville Chamberlain on 10 May, urged Reynaud to defend Paris, but the latter had already taken the decision to declare the capital an open city. Many Parisians were now fleeing the Germans, who arrived in the city on 14 June. Two days later, Churchill offered to declare an indissoluble union between England and France, an idea which had also been proposed by the junior French defence minister, General Charles de Gaulle, who arrived in London as an exile on 17 June. The French cabinet rejected Churchill’s proposal, seeing acceptance as a humiliating subordination to the British. Now they would have to submit to the Germans.

Opposite: Hitler in Paris, flanked by his architect Albert Speer (left) and the sculptor Arno Brecker. Martin Bormann can be glimpsed walking behind them. Speer recalled that Hitler led the tour of the Paris Opera: ‘The great stairway. Famous for its spaciousness, notorious for its excessive ornamentation, the resplendent foyer, the elegant gilded parterre were carefully inspected … Hitler had actually studied the plans with great care … “There, you see I know my way about”, Hitler commented complacently … He seemed fascinated by the Opera, went into ecstasies about its beauty, his eyes glittering with an excitement that struck me as uncanny …’

In the small hours of 17 June, Pétain, now France’s new president, approached the Germans, via the Spanish ambassador, to open armistice negotiations (Pétain had until recently been the French ambassador in Madrid). A new humiliation awaited Pétain’s emissaries. They had to sign the armistice in the railway coach near Compiègne in which Marshal Foch had dictated peace terms to the Germans in 1918. An exultant Hitler observed the arrival of the French delegation and stamped his feet in excitement.The defeat of 1918, and its consequences, had seared themselves on Hitler’s consciousness. They would now be blotted out by repaying the humiliation. At 15.15 hours on the afternoon of 21 June, Hitler, accompanied by Göring, Admiral Raeder, Brauchitsch, Keitel, Ribbentrop and Hess, gathered at the Great War memorial recording the French victory over the ‘criminal arrogance of the German Reich’. The Führer took his place in the carriage, greeting the French delegation in stony silence and listening without speaking as Keitel read out the preamble to the armistice terms. Inwardly, as he later recounted, he was relishing the revenge for the humiliation of November 1918.Then he returned to his headquarters.The debt had been expunged.

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A C o m pe n d i um o f Ki s s e s

S L a na C i t ro n

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1 t h e a n ato my o f a ki ss

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La na C i t ro n

A Compen d iu m of Kisses

Despite the hazards of kissing the general consensus is that kissing is good – physically, emotionally and spiritually. Its benefits are lauded in poetry, literature, film, music. The Greeks say that the kiss is the key to Paradise, a preservation against every ill;

Kissing a dying loved one on the lips is a commonly used literary tool. Ann Pasternak maintains that Shakespeare’s characters kiss the dying on the mouth for three reasons: to revive them, to conclude the relationship in a final mingling and to help transport the soul to the afterlife.

‘No ill luck can betide me when she bestows on me a kiss,’ sings Colin Muset. Its powers of revival are part of folklore. Heine declares: ‘Yet could I kiss thee, O my soul, then straightaway I should be whole.’ According to the Duke of Anhalt, kissing carries life with it and even bestows the gift of eternal youth: ‘If on that mouth a kiss I were bestowing, Methinks I should in sooth become immortal.’19 Alas, the state of immortality is an abstract conceit.

T h e De ath K i s s ‘I sit by the form in the coffin, I kiss and kiss convulsively again the sweet old lips, the cheeks, the closed eyes in the coffin;’ by Walt Whitman As at Thy Portals Also Death Not to be confused with the ‘Kiss of Death’ – synonymous with betrayal and vendetta –this kiss is the last tender proof of love bestowed on one we have cherished and was believed in ancient times to follow mankind to the nether world. The ‘death kiss’ is not only a mark of love, but also expresses the belief that the soul might be detained for a brief while by such a kiss. Ovid in his Tristia, laments his joyless exile in Tomis, and despairs because when the hour of death approaches, his beloved wife will not be by his side to detain his fleeting spirit by her kisses mingled with tears. ‘Popular belief in many places demands that the nearest relative kiss the corpse’s forehead ere the coffin lid is screwed down. In certain parts it is incumbent on every one who sees a dead body to kiss it otherwise he will get no peace for the dead’.20 19 Christopher Nyrop The Kiss and Its History Sands & Co 1901 Singing Tree Press 1968 p37 20 Christopher Nyrop The Kiss and Its History Sands & Co 1901 Singing Tree Press 1968 p.98

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Anthony. I am dying, Egypt, dying; only I here importune death awhile, until Of many thousand kisses the poor last I lay upon thy lips. CleopAtrA. And welcome, welcome! Die, where thou hast lived; Quicken with kissing; had my lips that power, Thus would I wear them out. Anthony And CleopAtrA iv.13

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Lana Citron

Miss Homan admitted there was no promise, verbal or written, but founded her claim upon the fact that Earle had frequently kissed her. While the unhappy man was congratulating himself upon his easy escape, his heart within him was turned to stone by these inconceivable words from the Bench, spoken by Judge Neilson, with measured accents and slowly flapping ears. He charged that no words were necessary to constitute an engagement. “The gleam of the eye, the conjunction of the lips,” said this light of jurisprudence, “are overtures when they become frequent and protracted.” The jury, always eager to do a thing which shall be at once idiotic and gallant, gave Rolexana 15,00 dollars for the wear and tear of her lips and affections. Of course the case was appealed, and the higher tribunal has promptly confirmed the decision of the Court below. It is therefore the law at this hour in the State of New York that ‘if a bachelor kisses a spinster, said spinster may rightly claim his hand or his goods. In cases where shyness or lack of opportunity may have prevented actual osculation, the young lady has still another string to her beau ; if she can show that he has ever “ shined his eye” in her direction, he is her lawful spoil, according to Judge Neilson. There is positively” no protection for a, bachelor except nose-bags and blind-bridles, and the ability to prove he has never left them off. […] The practical results of this momentous decision are appalling. No youth who values his liberty will hereafter suffer himself to be kissed except by a lady who can show her marriage certificate, and bring proof that her husband is living. With this exception, this soothing and humanising amusement must be confined to the domestic circle, and the young man of the future will be “doomed mere sisterly salutes to feel, insipid things, like sandwiches of veal.”49

A Compendium of Kisses

‘I do’ Kisses or ‘the overture kiss to the opera of love’

Some Christians hold the belief that the wedding kiss symbolizes the exchange of souls between the bride and the groom, fulfilling the scripture that ‘the two shall become one flesh,’ however the root of the tradition may be explained through an ancient Roman tradition. Much like a handshake, the Romans’ exchange of a kiss was used to sign a contract. Roman Emperor Constantine declared a woman betrothed be entitled to half her intended’s effects should he die before they were married. A kiss after a wedding ceremony ‘seals the deal’ and although the kiss is not a required part of the ceremony, most will agree that this sign of affection is an enjoyable exchange to tie the knot. After the reception there are many opportunities for the bride and groom to kiss and wedding guests are always creative in making them do so. The most traditional way guests entice the new couple to kiss is by clinking their glasses. An ancient Christian tradition explains that the clinking sound scares the devil away and the couple kisses in his absence. Another tradition is to ring bells placed at the tables by the wedding party. A ring of the bell signals the bride and groom to kiss.

Full circle kisses (the desired) and (your name here) in a tree K.I.S.S.I.N.G First comes love, then comes marriage then comes the baby in the baby carriage

And so it goes bringing us full circle kisses back to maternal kisses.

49 http://paperspast.natlib.govt.nz/cgi-bin/paperspast?a=d&d=WCT18740113.2.11

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50 C.C. Bombaugh Kissing p5

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78 • school

school • 79

Redd Fo xx w

exp elle d

People who were expelled from school

irs

td ay

fo r

th ro w in g

at e th r he ac te

Chevy Chase (from Haverford College for taking a cow on to the third floor of a campus building)

the f

k oo

Jeff Stryker (for ‘standing up for a retard’)

Adam Clayton (from a boarding school) Alain Delon (from many schools) Brandon Lee (for misbehaving) Shane MacGowan (from Westminster for using drugs) Kris Marshall (from Wells Cathedral School for ‘a multitude of sins’) Rudolph Valentino (from many schools) Harvey Keitel (for repeated truancy) John Lydon (from a Catholic comprehensive near Pentonville prison) Monty Don (from primary school ‘for putting nettles down girls’ knickers and getting more black marks in one term than anyone else in their entire school career’)

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220 • dogs

dogs • 221

The most intelligent dog breeds are (in order): Border Collie, Poodle, Alsatian and Golden Retriever.

Dogs There are some seven million dogs in the UK. The most popular breeds are Labradors, Alsatians, West Highland white terriers and Golden Retrievers. The average lifespan of a dog is between 8 and 15 years, depending on the breed. The largest amount of money left to a dog was £15 million – to a poodle in 1931 by one Ella Wendel of New York. The most popular names for dogs in the UK are Sam, Trixie, Polly and Spot.

Dogs on film: Beethoven, The Fox And The Hound, 101 Dalmatians, K-9, Lady And The Tramp, Oliver & Company, Turner & Hooch (but not Reservoir Dogs). Dogs in Literature: Nana in Peter Pan by J.M. Barrie; Toto in The Wizard of Oz by Frank Baum; Timmy in The Famous Five books by Enid Blyton; Edison in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang by Ian Fleming; Montmorency in Three Men In A Boat by Jerome K. Jerome; Bullseye in Oliver Twist by Charles Dickens; Jip in Dr Dolittle by Hugh Lofting; Argos in The Odyssey by Homer.

The Queen is the world’s most famous owner of Corgis. The names she’s given to her dogs include Fable, Myth, Shadow, Jolly and Chipper.

‘A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance and to turn round three times before lying down.’ (Robert Benchley)

The breeds that bite the most are German Police Dogs, Chows and Poodles.

‘I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven’t got the guts to bite people themselves.’ (August Strindberg)

The breeds that bite the least are Golden Retrievers, Labradors and Old English Sheepdogs. People who used to sleep with their dog in the bed next to them include the Duke of Windsor, General Custer and Elizabeth Barrett Browning.

‘That indefatigable and unsavoury engine of pollution, the dog.’ (John Sparrow) ‘The censure of a dog is something no man can stand.’ (Christopher Morley)

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402 • death

death • 403

Pairs of celebrities who died on the same day John Adams (second US President) & Thomas Jefferson (third US President) – 4.7.1826 Charles Kingsley (author of The Water Babies) & Gustave Doré (painter) – 23.1.1883 Franz Liszt (classical composer) & Frank Holl (painter) – 31.7.1888 Wilkie Collins (novelist) & Eliza Cook (poet) – 23.9.1889 Charles Stewart Parnell (Irish leader) & William Henry Smith (founder of W.H. Smith) – 6.10.1891 John Ruskin (social reformer, artist and writer) & Richard Doddridge Blackmore (writer of Lorna Doone) – 20.1.1900 Carl Bechstein (maker of the famous Bechstein pianos) & Gottlieb Daimler (motor car manufacturer) – 6.3.1900 Marshal Henri Pétain (French soldier and leader of the wartime Vichy regime) & Robert Flaherty (film-maker and explorer) – 23.7.1951 Josef Stalin (Soviet dictator) and Sergei Prokofiev (composer who was persecuted by Stalin) – 5.3.1953 King Ibn Saud (of Saudi Arabia) and Dylan Thomas (poet) – 9.11.1953

Ward Bond (actor) & Mack Sennett (film producer) – 5.11.1960 Michael Curtiz (film director) & Stu Sutcliffe (former member of The Beatles) – 10.4.1962 Jean Cocteau (playwright and film director) & Edith Piaf (singer) – 11.10.1963 Hedda Hopper (gossip columnist) & Buster Keaton (actor) – 1.2.1966 Billy Rose (Broadway producer) & Sophie Tucker (singer) – 10.2.1966 Che Guevara (revolutionary) & André Maurois (French author) – 9.10.1967 Mama Cass Elliot (singer) & Erich Kästner (author of Emil And The Detectives) – 29.7.1974 Steve Biko (anti-apartheid activist) & Robert Lowell (American poet) – 12.9.1977 Dame Gracie Fields (singer) & Jimmy McCullough (guitarist with Wings) – 27.9.1979 Joyce Grenfell (actress and writer) & Zeppo Marx (member of the Marx Brothers) – 30.11.1979 Thelonious Monk (musician) & Lee Strasberg (actor and drama teacher) – 17.2.1982

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Before establishing AB3 Design, Hugh Adams worked as a designer at Penguin Books, Pentagram and The Chase. Graduating in Graphic Design from University of Central Lancashire, he has lectured in Visual Communication at Middlesex University and University of Ulster. He is a Fellow of the Royal Society of Arts and has won national and international awards for design and typography from D&AD, Communication Arts of America, The Roses and the RSA.

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