Just4Girls
Live With Purpose It’s difficult to be a girl in the 2020’s… You’re living in two demanding worlds: the real world and the online world. The pressure builds quickly between dealing with school, activities, sports, and even your home life. Never mind the complexity of relationships—both friendships and romantic. Underneath all the pressure, you have dreams and hopes for your future. You’re on a journey to become a woman that is strong, independent, and willing to work for a meaningful life. To get there, you’ll have to make countless decisions. Many of the choices made during this time in your life will affect you in years to come, both in positive ways and in difficult ways, too. From understanding the importance of choosing who you surround yourself with, to choosing how you think about yourself and your body, to choosing if you should send a nude, or deciding when to start having sex, these choices can change your life. This magazine will help you make decisions to live your life with purpose.
Table of Contents: Your Choices Matter ....................3 Body Image ....................................4
It’s up to you. Life is what you make of it.
Mia’s Story .......................................4 Genuine Happiness ......................5 Dear Livvy ........................................5 You’re Not Alone ...........................6 do u send nudes? .........................7 Porn Does What? .........................7 Saving Sex .......................................8 Just for Girls/Just for Guys has been produced by Human Life Alliance since 2005. Human Life Alliance 1614 93rd Lane NE Minneapolis, MN, 55449 humanlife.org | (651)484-1040
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Your Choices Matter
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Did you know an adult makes on average 35,000 decisions a day?1 Sounds like a lot, but think about how long it takes for you to decide what to eat or wear every day. Many of these choices have no consequence or impact on your life. However, over time your brain builds decision-making habits and patterns. It’s important to learn how to help your brain build the right habits. This is why good decision-making is considered a skill. Future employers and colleges consider decision-making one of the most desirable skill sets. Why? Because a good decision-maker can quickly and effectively determine the best outcomes. Why does this matter for you? Your journey to a successful, fulfilled, and purposeful life begins with making a commitment to learn how to choose the right things. Sometimes you might fail, but everyday you get the opportunity for a new beginning. One helpful way to start making the right decisions is by setting goals. Not only for a career or school, but for life and relationships too. Do you want to become more confident? Do you want to learn how to surround yourself with the right people? Do you want a healthy and good committed relationship someday? Are you choosing to save sex until marriage? What are your boundaries in relationships and friendships? Inside this magazine, you’ll find facts and tools to help you make good choices. For example, have you ever heard of the Success Sequence? Probably not. According to the Brookings Institute, you’ll have only a 3% chance of living in poverty if you earn at least a high school diploma, maintain a full time job, and wait until marriage to have children. This means a 97% chance of living free from poverty.1 Want to learn more? Read on…
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Body Image Just4Girls
Women have the unique capability of being able to think a multitude of thoughts at one time. This makes you a great multi-tasker, and over-thinker. Particularly in the area of self-image. Sometimes it can feel like you are your own worst enemy. Your mind goes through doubt after doubt about yourself in a matter of a minute. Do these jeans make me look fat? Why don’t I have her waist? If only I had her style! I wish I had her hair! All the overthinking that happens in your mind is a vicious cycle of believing your worth is nothing until you’ve perfected yourself. You look for things to try to fix this—new clothes, the latest technology, or maybe putting time into a well filtered social media account. But you’ll still find those things will never fix insecurities. Becoming confident in your body starts with your mind.
You always have the opportunity to redefine how you think about yourself. If you constantly believe you aren’t enough, your imperfections will drive all your thoughts, decisions, and mental energy. Struggling with body image is exhausting because it all happens in your mind! You are your own worst critic when it comes to your body and now is the time to start re-framing how you think about yourself. Here’s some tips:
• • •
•
Appreciate what your body can do. Write positive thoughts down to serve as a reminder to you when you feel like you aren’t enough. What do you like about yourself that isn’t related to your weight or physical looks? You are more than a body. Pay attention to things that might make you more critical of your body. For example, are there certain magazines, TikTok or Instagram accounts that always leave you feeling bad about yourself? Unfollow them! Talk about it! You aren’t alone in the struggle. Opening up can offer support and encouragement.
The nagging negative doubts and questions about yourself will still come back from time to time. But by choosing to re-frame how you think about yourself, you can throw those negative thoughts out as quickly as they come.
Your body is part of who you are, but your body doesn’t define you. “It was a life-changing moment for me. There’s so much more to me than how I look. It’s liberating to realize that what I see on Instagram doesn’t need to define who I am, what I should look like, or how I should act. Deep down, we all know that there’s no such thing as a perfect person or a perfect life. Defining yourself by who you are and what you do, rather than how you look, is a brave choice to defy the deception of perfection that society tells us to buy into. It can be scary at first, but the world needs to know that real, imperfect women exist, daring to break the rules, claiming our imperfections and being ourselves. We can write our own stories and think our own thoughts. We don’t have to follow the crowd. We can choose to surround ourselves with people who encourage and uplift us. We are bold enough to reject deceit and believe we ARE beautiful.”
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—Mia
Genuine Happiness
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“I started high school as a confident, kind, and fun girl. I had my crew and the four of us conquered freshman year together. I felt secure in who I was—but my friends did not. They wanted popularity and started making decisions I didn’t agree with. I stood my ground and told them I wasn’t willing to do certain things to seem cool. My friendships with them began to feel like a rollercoaster. I never knew if they liked me or wanted me out of their sight. Sometimes they’d want to talk with me and other times I was given the silent treatment. Mostly, they pointed out how to ‘fix’ me and how I was ‘such a drag’ to them. It shattered my confidence. I couldn’t imagine losing my only high school friends. I began being willing to do or say anything to remain friends with them. I had a choice to put up with them or choose to be alone. Loneliness in high school was my ultimate fear. Shortly after, my friends asked to meet with me and told me that, behind my back, they had agreed to “throw me out” of our friend group. All of a sudden, I was given a new set of rules. No longer could I speak with them, sit with them at lunch, or hang out with them outside of school. I felt betrayed. It worsened when they began to bully me, spread rumors, and even turn classmates and teachers against me. My worst nightmare had happened—I was all alone and people were believing all sorts of lies about me. What could be worse? I felt the urge to lose myself in relationships with boys and superficial things to mask the pain. I wanted to show everyone they couldn’t get the best of me. I was desperate to be accepted because I had been so hurt. Thankfully, I eventually realized that if I chose to hook up with boys because of the pain I was in, the effect of those decisions would last far beyond high school. They’d be reminders I’d carry with me all my life from this broken time. With this perspective, I felt the courage to persevere through this tough time. I didn’t want it to ruin the life I was just beginning! Instead of losing myself in things that would bring me further down, I channeled the pain and loneliness into an opportunity for something new. I courageously made new friends and found genuine and supportive people that allowed me to be myself. I dove into hobbies I always loved: photography and cooking. I even turned my photography into a business. I became grateful I was no longer with my old friends. I learned that friends who tear you down aren’t real friends. And the loneliness I was terrified of? Well, it wasn’t as scary as I thought. To my surprise, it opened unexpected doors. I also learned how resilient, brave, and strong I was through that experience and it made me a more confident woman.”
Dear Livvy...
—Naomi
Dear Livvy, I have a new boyfriend and I’m nervous he will try something I’m not ready for. What should I tell him if he pushes me? –Not Ready Dear Not Ready, There’s no reason to be ashamed for not being ready to send nudes, have sex, or do anything you aren’t ready for! This shows good self-awareness on your end. Before you get in a situation, I recommend setting boundaries about sex. Be upfront with him and talk about it. I recommend saving sex for marriage, and you’re not alone if you want to. Waiting to have sex will make it better not worse because your relationship will be on solid ground when you do. Having sex early on will decrease your chance of a successful relationship. If he isn’t willing to agree on the same goals and boundaries as you, let him go. It’ll hurt, but if he really loves you he won’t just wait for you, but join you. He isn’t worth it if he compromises your goals and boundaries. Dear Livvy, A random guy contacted me through social media and started telling me how beautiful I am. I have no clue who he is. What do you think of this? What should I do? –Randomly Beautiful Dear Randomly Beautiful, this is a red flag, and you should not respond, just delete his message. It’s scary, but this could be an online predator trying to meet up with you in order to kidnap, assault or sell you into human trafficking. Predators convince young girls and even guys that their beauty will land them a modeling job, only to find themselves victims of prostitution, pornography and slave labor. If he continues to contact you, tell your parents or teacher. If he sends you a sexually explicit image, report him to the authorities. Dear Livvy, It seems like all the girls at school have a boyfriend besides me. I can’t help but feel a little jealous and well, to be honest, desperate. I can’t help it. I just really want a boyfriend! What should I do? –Really Want a Boyfriend Dear Really Want a Boyfriend, I understand where you’re coming from. It’s a natural part of being a girl to want a guy to choose you. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. It’s an illusion that everyone has a boyfriend! As you wait, I have a couple of ideas. Concentrate more on developing into the right kind of woman you want to be. Spend time on the things you enjoy. Develop solid friendships. This is by far the best thing you can do in this time. Friendships aren’t just for the waiting. They are important to have at every stage of life! It can be easy to find someone and become infatuated to the point where your identity is wrapped up with them, causing breakups to be even more painful when you lose your own identity.
Have more questions for Livvy? Write to her at j4gmagazine.com!
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Just4Girls
You’re Not Alone Do you feel like you’re the only girl to ever look at porn? Did you know that 62.1%1 of women struggle with it? In the past, pornography and masturbation have been framed as male issues. This belief has left many women fighting against porn and feeling isolated. Perhaps you started watching it as a means of sex-ed. You find that porn feels thrilling to watch. But your brain is actually releasing massive amounts of natural chemicals, like dopamine,the pleasure hormone.2 The rush disappears quickly and you are left desiring to get it back. So you watch porn again, and again... Many would say porn isn’t dangerous, but truthfully there’s nothing normal or healthy about it. In fact, as porn consumption increases, the brain becomes desensitized to it. This means the hormone, dopamine, doesn’t “rush” like it used to. Did you know that addiction comes from dopamine desensitization?3 Not to mention the porn industry uses your body’s normal sexual desire and the rewiring of your brain to make money. Pornography is not the place to seek romantic or sexual advice. Rather, porn takes your normal sexual desire and twists it into something that leaves you feeling ashamed and alone. You deserve to feel relationally connected to those in your life and you deserve to have a healthy and fulfilling sex life. Sex is about connection and love. Porn disconnects, destroys, and treats sex (and you) like disposable trash.
“I felt trapped and alone... People don’t see what it does in the heart and mind of those that it affects. They don’t see what it does inside the homes and relationships of those that it holds captive. They don’t see the lives that it ruins.”
Whether or not you’ve seen it only a handful of times or are struggling with it, here’s why you should stop.
Visit: www.fightthenewdrug.org www.candeobehaviorchange.com
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do u send nudes?
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What do you do? You have the urge to respond because you want to feel accepted and avoid the label, “prude.” On the other hand, everyone will call you a “slut” if you do. It’s impossible to win. So, what will you choose? First, you are not just a body. You are a whole and complete person with unique talents and gifts. You have a sense of humor and a personality. Nudes destroy that. A sexually explicit image of yourself treats your body like a disposable object. Let’s be clear, you’re not a prude if you say no. Standing up to someone else’s demands on the other side of the screen shows value and respect. More often than not, women who send nudes regret it and those that don’t, rarely do. In the groundbreaking NY Times article, journalist Nick Kristoff shines light on the reality of sexting… “In the eighth grade she developed a crush on a boy a year older, and he asked her to take a naked video of herself. She sent it to him, and this changed her life… He had shared the videos with other boys, and someone posted them on Pornhub.” At the time, Savannah was 14 years old. Before you send a nude, think about what it might mean for you in the future. Will this be the only person you ever sext? What happens to those pictures after you break up? You’ve probably been warned before that nothing is ever fully removed from the internet. Sharing an explicit image of yourself can open you up to assault and abuse by more than just one person. If you’re thinking, “it’s just a little innocent fun,” picture your nudes on the web forever—or your future college professor seeing it. Yes, future schools and employers do check the internet to see what’s out there of you.
Porn normalizes violence against women Porn sets unrealistic body standards Porn views women as sexualized bodies, nothing more. Not to mention a body that is skinny, yet also curvy. Busty with a good butt, but also fit. The list goes on. What makes you beautiful and truly attractive is your intelligence, personality, and your natural body.
Are you using porn to escape real life? “I ran to porn whenever I was lonely, yet it only breeds loneliness. It also became a crutch if I ever was bored, disappointed, or angry at myself.” If you are struggling in real life, seek real help with health professionals. Talk to your parents or friends. You might be surprised that they want to help you and be with you in whatever difficulty you are going through.
A team of researchers looked at 50 of the most popular porn films... Of the 304 scenes, 88% contained physical violence and 49%, verbal attacks.4 Porn openly hurts and abuses women. No one should ever treat you like that, especially in situations in which you are completely vulnerable. Violence in porn dangerously allows men to hurt and abuse women. Degrading women isn’t sexy and it definitely isn’t love. When you love a guy, that doesn’t mean he’s allowed to do or say anything he wants. You deserve more.
To see sources, visit j4gmagazine.com
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saving sex SAVING SEX
Just4Girls
“As a teen, I played the third wheel because my twin had many boyfriends and I didn’t. I became depressed and wondered why guys didn’t like me.
When I finally got a boyfriend, our values didn’t match and my family didn’t approve, but I thought Steve was “the one.” I wanted to remain a virgin before marriage, but Steve and I got physically closer until one night I completely gave myself to him. After, I jumped out of bed and curled up in the corner crying. I knew I couldn’t take it back, ever. I felt like it no longer mattered. For years, we kept sleeping together. I developed a dependency on him and knew something needed to change. Breaking up with Steve was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do because I had given him myself so many times. I told him I loved him and he was perfect for me except for one thing— he didn’t respect or protect my purity. I vowed not to date again until I was 100 percent sure whom I would marry and that he would respect my sexual integrity. While I was single, I sought out a strong group of friends who shared my values. I met an honorable guy in the group name Aaron, who I ended up marrying! He understood that abstinence was important and we remained pure until our wedding night. I was his first girlfriend; his first kiss! I know what love is now and am so content to be with a man who showed me that.”
—Kayla
The conversation about waiting to have sex feels outdated and meaningless. Who has enough willpower these days to actually hold themselves to that goal? It’s proven that couples that wait have higher satisfaction, contentment, and better sex. On the other hand, relationships that move rapidly into sex are often filled with distress. There are countless other ways to show someone that you love them. Waiting to have sex until you’re committed, like getting married, is a beautiful expression of real love. You’re willing to use self-control, patience, and put real love into practice for another person. Not to mention, waiting to have sex is the number one way to find someone that truly loves you for all the right reasons. Despite the choices you’ve made in the past, you can start over at any time. It’s up to you; what will you choose?
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Dating Do’s & Don’ts ▶ Stay with the group
If you don’t know the person well, it’s better to date in a group setting or to go on a double date with a couple you know. Be aware of the dangers of human trafficking.
▶ Stand your ground
Don’t be tolerant of a guy who violates your personal boundaries. If he doesn’t respond when you tell him to stop, leave the situation.
▶ Watch your beverage
Don’t accept beverages from people you don’t know and don’t drink out of anything you’ve left unattended. “Date rape drugs” can be slipped into your drink when you’re not paying attention.
▶ Trust your instincts
If you sense something isn’t right, end the date or get out of the situation.
Want more? Visit j4gmagazine.com for additional dating do’s and don’ts, helpful information on STDs and hormonal contraception, and more.
Just4Guys
It’s Your Time The stress of being a man can add up. Maybe that pressure comes from school, family, your coach, or even your friends’ expectations of you. Do you feel it? You want to make good grades, have some money, and grind out levels on your favorite video game, but ultimately you want to get a great job after you go to college and build the perfect life. Knowing the decisions you make today really will make a difference later on is tough. Every guy wants success. Whatever that looks like?! One major barrier to success for your future revolves around how you develop relationships today. That’s what this magazine is all about—building good relationships. Inside you can read about one of the more difficult areas to learn and succeed—romantic or sexual relationships. If you’re looking for success, read on...
Table of Contents: Start Today ......................................3
Are you ready to take on your future?
Are You a Consumer? .................4 Porn Does What? .........................5 Breaking the Habit ......................6 The Inside Scoop ..........................6 Did you know? ...............................7 Dating in the 2020’s ....................7 Saving Sex ......................................8
Just for Girls/Just for Guys has been produced by Human Life Alliance since 2005. Human Life Alliance 1614 93rd Lane NE Minneapolis, MN, 55449 humanlife.org | (651)484-1040
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Start Today
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Now is the time when you decide what kind of man you want to become and what type of life you want to live. This magazine is about developing relationships—especially romantic and sexual relationships. Hopefully you’ll learn a little more than they taught you on the whiteboard in health class. First and foremost, for everything in life, it’s important to set goals and learn how to make positive choices. Your future starts with finishing school, building good relationships and waiting until you’re 21 (or older) to have children. It’s true. The Brookings Institute’s pioneering research proves how your choices in relationships today determines your success tomorrow. They call this the “Success Sequence” (see page 8). On average, adults make 35,000 decisions a day.1 Over time your brain will grow accustomed to making decisions, either beneficial or harmful, because repeating anything for an extended period of time builds new neural pathways. Right now, it’s important to start developing positive habits. It might seem boring, but making good choices today will affect your future and it will help your decision-making skills too. Did you know colleges and employers consider it one of the most desirable skill sets? Good decision-makers become great leaders. The same is true for any relationship. As you draw closer to someone romantically, you will make choices about your life together. You may even feel pressured by your friends to act on possibilities before you. Will you ask for nudes right away? Do you already have preconceived ideas about sexual relationships from consuming porn? Perhaps you wish you had some tips beforehand to impress them. All of that and more, you can read in this edition of Just4Girls/Just4Guys. On this side, you will get the “Inside scoop on girls” and finish with a healthy dose of information on things you may not know—even some hard-hitting truth.
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Just4Guys
Are You a Consumer? When was the last time you consumed porn, on your phone, laptop, or tablet? Do you find you can’t keep those images out of your mind? By 11 years old, 51%1 of boys have seen porn and by 17 years old, 79%2 of young men have. Pornography affects 93.2%3 of men. While some casually view porn, many actually experience a real addiction to it. Society and pop culture perpetuate the belief that all men watch porn by making jokes and crude comments about it. To be a man, a good sexual partner and to satisfy your needs, porn is treated as normal and good—it’s even expected that you view it.
So, if everyone watches it, why should you stop? Our culture presents a dangerous illusion. There’s nothing healthy or normal about pornography. In fact, porn is like a drug. It’s a powerful addiction that affects your mind and body. When you view porn, or even recall the images, your brain triggers the release of massive amounts of natural chemicals, like dopamine.4 The rush feels amazing and you want the thrill back. You want the “high” and start consuming more porn and pushing the limits on what you view. Did you know repeated consumption of porn will rewire your brain? Studies show it can actually make your brain smaller.5 You’ll start to notice your brain is less active and struggles to focus on anything but pornographic images. If you keep consuming, you’ll start to feel disconnected from other humans. Eventually you could find yourself struggling to have sex. Yep—pornography-induced erectile dysfunction is real.6 “Porn is such a ferocious competitor that hardly any other activity can compete with it, including actual sex with a real partner. That’s right; porn can actually overpower the brain’s natural ability to have real sex!”7 The porn industry doesn’t talk about that. One thing’s for certain, you are not alone in your addiction. It is possible to break the habit and there are countless people and resources to help you. Visit www.candeobehaviorchange.com, www.fightthenewdrug.org, or j4gmagazine.com to find resources to help you!
“For 10 years of my compulsion, I didn’t pursue my dreams. I didn’t discover my hobbies. For 10 years I played video games, watched TV, and watched porn. That was pretty much my life. Yes, I went out with friends and did social things, but when no one was around, that’s all I did. Now that porn is out of my life, I can pursue my dreams again. I can’t begin to describe how much I want the last decade back. The relationships I could have had and the growth I could have experienced. Porn prohibited me from having any real relationships. By taking up hundreds and hundreds of hours of my life, porn stunted me from growing as a person.” 4
—Brian
Maybe you’re consuming a lot of porn or have seen it only once or twice. Either way, here’s why you should stop:
j4gmagazine.com
Porn-Induced Erectile Dysfunction Do you want to have great sex one day? Porn could destroy your capability of that.1
Porn Could Ruin Your Chances of the Life You Want Watching a lot of porn leaves little room to excel in other areas like relationships, hobbies, or your future career.2
You Could be Watching Porn of Sex Trafficked Men & Women Traffickers and sex buyers get ideas from porn, and then make their victims watch it as a way of showing what they’ll be expected to do. The violent fantasy concocted by some porn directors and his or her actors becomes the reality for trafficking victims.
The Risk Factor Connection Along with poverty and substance abuse, a child growing up in a home where porn is regularly consumed is far more likely to be trafficked at some point in his or her life.3
To see sources, visit j4gmagazine.com
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ingtheHabit ing k a
Just4Guys
e r B
Fighting against an addiction to porn can be mentally exhausting. You might feel as though you are all alone, and then even when you are porn free, the images you viewed in the past can re-surface in your brain. It’s possible to create positive habits that will eventually rid you of the epidemic that plagues so many individuals with guilt and shame. Simple adjustments in your everyday routine will help you steer clear of pornography and keep it out of your life.
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•
Avoid problem websites and browsing when you are tired. Are there certain social media accounts that always end with you watching porn? Block certain sites in your browser. You could also use a text only browser for a while. Don’t keep your smart phone next to your bed. If you need it for an alarm clock, get an actual alarm clock or switch your phone onto airplane mode. Did you just suffer a bad break-up? If so, only browse during the day.
Have you ever said to yourself, "I never know what they want? I even think they don't even know what they want. One minute they're fine...the next minute they're crazy!" Before you decide to give up, there is a logical answer. Take a look at these two hormone charts. Female hormones are changing—sometimes almost daily, depending on their cycle. Males, on the other hand, are hormonally level. This isn't an excuse for girls to be mean, but it might help you understand a little better why your mother, sister, girlfriend, or classmates seem to have twenty different moods in just one hour. The next time you’re trying to figure out what she wants, remember she isn’t on the same “wavelength” as you—literally—so give her a little space. You’ll be glad you did.
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Testosterone Follicle Stimulating Hormone (FSH)
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Days of the Month
Progesterone
Female Hormone Levels
The Inside Scoop On Girls
Male Hormone Levels
Try doing something else to overcome watching porn. Start working out to use up excess energy and fall asleep more quickly at night. One thing proven to be the most helpful, is talking about it with someone else and setting up some sort of accountability system. You’re much less likely to view porn if you have someone to help and keep you accountable. This should be someone you trust and report to on a frequent basis. It may seem like a scary thing to do; however, just the knowledge that your web activity can be seen by someone else will most likely keep you out of the darkest areas of the internet.
Menstruation
Estrogen FSH LH
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Days of Menstruation Cycle
Guys
Girls
“In men, the follicle stimulating hormone (FSH) acts on the Sertoli cells of the testes to stimulate sperm production (spermatogenesis).” 1
“In women, FSH stimulates the growth of ovarian follicles in the ovary before the release of an egg at ovulation. It also signals the body to increase oestradiol production.”2
Did you know?
j4gmagazine.com
Teens having sex are statistically more likely... • To experience pregnancy1 • To live in poverty and have less financial net worth2 • To contract sexually transmitted infections3 • To experience sexual abuse and victimization4 Among 15-17 year olds, 69% of boys and 72% of girls have never had sex.5 Young adults contract about 10 million new STDs each year, costing about $8 billion in direct medical costs.6 50% of 18-19 year olds wish they had waited longer to have sex.7 Most youth support reserving sex until marriage. Both in general and for themselves.8
Dating in the 2020’s What it looks like:
You add her on Snapchat or maybe she slides into your DMs.
You message each other back and forth. Eventually, you either tell each other the other person’s hot or cute (over text not face to face). You start hooking up with each other.
If you like a girl, ask her out in REAL LIFE. Not online.
“We couldn’t communicate in person because we had built the relationship online.”
Dating is good. It’s also much more fun in person than online! To see sources, visit j4gmagazine.com
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saving sex SAVING SEX
Just4Guys
“Every person, no matter how well rooted they are in their values, gets tempted at one point or another— this is my story.
I went through high school without dating anyone, had strong morals and an innocent mind for the most part. I knew that sex should wait for marriage. These values were infused in me from my family. I dated my first girlfriend during my sophomore year of college and things started with hand holding and hugging. When we became “official,” we made-out quite a bit and my desire to be more physical took over. For me, lust was like a devouring beast that never satisfied. It’s a difficult thirst to quench. As we focused on each other’s bodies, we crossed the line numerous times. Then I learned about her past with an ex-boyfriend and that she had done some things she regretted. I forgave her, but all the same, I struggled and hated picturing her with another guy. It plagued my thoughts and I began to think, “If she was willing to do those things with another guy, would she do them with me?” I became curious and began looking up sexual things and how to push her further in our physical relationship. It was wrong and I knew it. But my body was taking over my mind. Several months passed and it became the only reason why I’d see her. When I was with her, all I thought about was, “How can I get what I want from her?” It was a horrible and poisoned mindset, at one point I realized that I wanted out. Eventually, after much soul-searching and guidance from family and friends, we ended our relationship. I apologized for how I hurt and mistreated her. I was humbled when she forgave me. It takes two, but I should have led with pure actions and real love. This leadership role is one I decided to strive for ever since. I took time to renew myself and learn how to live a pure lifestyle. Now, two years later, I have learned how to treat a woman’s heart. It’s through pure motives and selfless actions that the best and greatest of relationships can blossom.”
—Mike
So now you’ve read some important—if not life altering—information about relationships. Are you willing to seek success for your future? Each man is different. Each of us grows at our own pace and finds real love at different times. Perhaps today you’ve realized pornography is destroying your life. Maybe you see how it will influence your future and want to stop consuming now. You can, but you’ll need help. Knowing the facts, recognizing relationship pitfalls, and seeking help from someone you trust are the first steps in accomplishing your relationship and life goals. It’s time to rise to the challenge, make good choices, and create a great life for yourself.
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The Success Sequence
According to the Brookings Institute, if you complete the following objectives, you’ll only have a 3% chance of living in poverty as an adult:1 Earn at least a high school diploma + Maintain a full time job + Wait until you’re at least 21 to have children = 97% chance of NOT living in poverty as an adult!
Want more? Visit j4gmagazine.com for additional tips on developing relationships, quitting porn, and getting on track for a successful future.
