The Beautiful Faces Of HIV
PG 19
PG 7 My HIV means a HUMAN INVOLVED in a fight to obtain VICTORY.
Top 10 New Year's Resolutions
PG 5 22 Things Happy People Do Differently I-Female Magazine $6.50
December 2012 | www.i-female.net | I-Female Publishing
Publisher Stenell Greene-Myers
Editor
I-Female is a tribute to female empowerment; it allows you to look at yourselves as strong individuals and not just victims or survivors.
Vanessa Curtis
Editor - In – Chief Trudean Wright Le Petite Capella
WRITE US I-Female Magazine welcomes letters from its readers. To contact Editorial:
Photographer Brittany Beeunas
Contributors J.T. Barber
Send us a email (magazine@i-female.net) or mail (Letters to I-Female Magazine, P.O Box 935 Vineland, New Jersey 08362).
Tony Myers Tina Louise T.K.W
Letters should include the writer’s full name, address and daytime phone number. Letters may be edited for length and clarity.
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Letter From The Editor “You can be greatly empowered by your ability to appreciate how your feelings motivate you and how your experiences shape you. You can see that your past experiences can be weapons to secure happiness—not obstacles.”
Welcome to our December issue of I-Female magazine. I-Female started with a thought… I am, I can, I will, IFemale. A voice for women and young adults, I-Female was design to help inspire, motivate and encourage. We exist to help educate, empower and uplift women in areas such as entrepreneurial development. We also help to bring awareness to issues like domestic violence, depression and healthy living for both women and men. I-Female is a tribute to female empowerment; allow us to encourage you to not look at yourselves as victims or survivors but as strong women. December 1st is World AIDS Day. We are pleased this month, to have Andrea Johnson, Founder of Girl U Can Do It, Inc and the USA Positive Women’s Network Philadelphia Chapter on our cover “The Beautiful Faces of HIV.” Andrea shared with us a very inspiring story about her life and living with HIV. According to the CDC (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention) HIV (human immunodeficiency virus) infection has now spread to every country in the world. Statistics show that approximately 40 million people are currently living with HIV infection, and an estimated 25 million have died from this disease. The scourge of HIV has been particularly devastating in sub-Saharan Africa and South Africa, but infection rates in other countries remain high. In the United States, approximately 1 million people are currently infected.
Also in this month’s issue, you’ll read about “22 Things Happy People Do Differently” and “15 Easy Ways to Increase Productivity and Get More Done.” 2013 is upon us and as we prepare for the New Year, I-Female Magazine wishes you a wonderful and blessed holiday and New Year. We would like to thank our readers/fans! It is because of you that I-Female is real. We appreciate you for your continued support as we strive each month to bring you Inspiration, Motivation and Encouragement.
Happy New Year! Trudean Wright Editor-in- Chief
PG 5
PG 7
22 Things Happy People Do Differently
My HIV means a HUMAN INVOLVED in a fight to obtain VICTORY.
PG 14 If you know anything about a business plan, you must have a mission statement, or mantra.
PG 17 USA Positive Women’s Network
PG 19 Top 10 New Years Resolutions
I-Female Magazine welcomes letters from its readers. To contact Editorial: Send us a email (magazine@i-female.net) or mail (Letters to I-Female Magazine, P.O Box 935 Vineland, New Jersey 08362). Letters should include the writer’s full name, address and daytime phone number. Letters may be edited for length and clarity.
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22 Things Happy People Do Differently Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions. – Dalai Lama By Chiara Fucarino
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here are two types of people in the world: those who choose to be happy, and those who choose to be unhappy. Contrary to popular belief, happiness doesn’t come from fame, fortune, other people, or material possessions. Rather, it comes from within. The richest person in the world could be miserable while a homeless person could be right outside, walking around with a spring in every step. Happy people are happy because they make themselves happy. They maintain a positive outlook on life and remain at peace with themselves.
ative feelings crowd out their positive feelings. Holding a grudge has a lot of detrimental effects on your wellbeing, including increased depression, anxiety, and stress. Why let anyone who has wronged you have power over you? If you let go of all your grudges, you’ll gain a clear conscience and enough energy to enjoy the good things in life.
viewed as a drawback, a struggle, or an unstable situation while a challenge is viewed as something positive like an opportunity, a task, or a dare. Whenever you face an obstacle, try looking at it as a challenge.
4. Express gratitude for what they already have.
There’s a popular saying that goes something like this: “The happiest people don’t have the best of everything; they just Did you know that it has been scientifical- make the best of everything they have.” ly proven that being kind makes you hap- You will have a deeper sense of contentpier? Every time you perform a selfless ment if you count your blessings instead act, your brain produces serotonin, a horof yearning for what you don’t have. The question is: how do they do that? mone that eases tension and lifts your spirits. Not only that, but treating people 5. Dream big. It’s quite simple. Happy people have good with love, dignity, and respect also allows habits that enhance their lives. They do People who get into the habit of dreaming you to build stronger relationships. things differently. Ask any happy person, big are more likely to accomplish their and they will tell you that they … goals than those who don’t. If you dare to 3. See problems as challeng- dream big, your mind will put itself in a focused and positive state. es. 1. Don’t hold grudges.
2. Treat everyone with kindness.
Happy people understand that it’s better The word “problem” is never part of a to forgive and forget than to let their neg- happy person’s vocabulary. A problem is
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6. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Happy people ask themselves, “Will this problem matter a year from now?” They understand that life’s too short to get worked up over trivial situations. Letting things roll off your back will definitely put you at ease to enjoy the more important things in life.
7. Speak well of others. Being nice feels better than being mean. As fun as gossiping is, it usually leaves you feeling guilty and resentful. Saying nice things about other people encourages you to think positive, non-judgmental thoughts.
8. Never make excuses. Benjamin Franklin once said, “He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else.” Happy people don’t make excuses or blame others for their own failures in life. Instead, they own up to their mistakes and, by doing so, they proactively try to change for the better.
9. Get absorbed into the present. Happy people don’t dwell on the past or worry about the future. They savor the present. They let themselves get immersed in whatever they’re doing at the moment. Stop and smell the roses.
10. Wake up at the same time every morning.
12. Choose friends wisely. Misery loves company. That’s why it’s important to surround yourself with optimistic people who will encourage you to achieve your goals. The more positive energy you have around you, the better you will feel about yourself.
13. Never seek approval from others. Happy people don’t care what others think of them. They follow their own hearts without letting naysayers discourage them. They understand that it’s impossible to please everyone. Listen to what people have to say, but never seek anyone’s approval but your own.
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19. Live minimally. Happy people rarely keep clutter around the house because they know that extra belongings weigh them down and make them feel overwhelmed and stressed out. Some studies have concluded that Europeans are a lot happier than Americans are, which is interesting because they live in smaller homes, drive simpler cars, and own fewer items.
20. Tell the truth.
Lying stresses you out, corrodes your selfesteem, and makes you unlikeable. The 14. Take the time to listen. truth will set you free. Being honest imTalk less; listen more. Listening keeps your proves your mental health and builds othmind open to others’ wisdoms and outers’ trust in you. Always be truthful, and looks on the world. The more intensely never apologize for it. you listen, the quieter your mind gets, and the more content you feel.
15. Nurture social relationships. A lonely person is a miserable person. Happy people understand how important it is to have strong, healthy relationships. Always take the time to see and talk to your family, friends, or significant other.
16. Meditate. Meditating silences your mind and helps you find inner peace. You don’t have to be a zen master to pull it off. Happy people know how to silence their minds anywhere and anytime they need to calm their nerves.
Have you noticed that a lot of successful people tend to be early risers? Waking up at the same time every morning stabilizes your circadian rhythm, increases productivity, and puts you in a calm and centered 17. Eat well. state. Junk food makes you sluggish, and it’s difficult to be happy when you’re in that 11. Avoid social comparison. kind of state. Everything you eat directly affects your body’s ability to produce horEveryone works at his own pace, so why mones, which will dictate your moods, compare yourself to others? If you think you’re better than someone else, you gain energy, and mental focus. Be sure to eat foods that will keep your mind and body an unhealthy sense of superiority. If you think someone else is better than you, you in good shape. end up feeling bad about yourself. You’ll be happier if you focus on your own progress and praise others on theirs.
happiness levels just as much as Zoloft does. Exercising also boosts your selfesteem and gives you a higher sense of self-accomplishment.
21. Establish personal control.
Happy people have the ability to choose their own destinies. They don’t let others tell them how they should live their lives. Being in complete control of one’s own life brings positive feelings and a great sense of self-worth.
22. Accept what cannot be changed. Once you accept the fact that life is not fair, you’ll be more at peace with yourself. Instead of obsessing over how unfair life is, just focus on what you can control and change it for the better.
18. Exercise. Studies have shown that exercise raises
www.lifed.com
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COVER EXCLUSIVE
My HIV means a HUMAN INVOLVED in a fight to obtain VICTORY.
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t 41, I’ve lived a life with many struggles, many trials and many tribulations. Being an only child to a mother that died when I was 2 and having a father that cared more about satisfying his own needs and surrendering to the negatives of this world and abandoning me and many of my siblings he had by many
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WORLD AIDS DAY ANDREA JOHNSON, Founder of GUCDII ~n~ A GHETTO (“Giving Help Everywhere To Those that are Oppressed”) PHILLY PRINCESS IN A FIGHT TO HELP SAVE YOUR LIFE I am simply and selfishly in LOVE with my PEOPLE OF COLOR!
other women, I was a child like many I advocate for that was left in this world to fend for themselves. Thank God for grandparents, especially a loving and caring grandfather who did his best to show a young female child that was once broken how a man is to love a woman and helped me to put some of the pieces in my shattered mirror back into its place so that I could look into it and see clearly the awesome, beautiful, talented and strong creation my God created, which helped to equip me with the value of loving myself despite my adversities.
As I am older and growing wiser, I have come to realize that my whole life has been a testimony of faith, courage, strength, determination and appreciation that my God was setting me up for to help me to stay strong through one of the biggest challenges he knew I would soon face in my life. With my God’s continued love, I am conquering all battles as a solider in his army despite the heartaches, pains and demoralization I face, so that I can help his people, especially my beautiful people of color.
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Have you ever had to face a monster in your life? Have you ever been beat by someone so violently that you fell numb to the pain being inflicted on you? Have you ever lost your rights and will to want to live due to another’s impositions upon you? Have you ever had to face an issue so horrific in your life that you just wanted to crawl into a corner, hide from the world and give up? As you read my story of falling and getting back up again, I pray that it is read with understanding, lessons to be learned and talked about and feelings of empowerment and the will and want to help with understanding those infected with and by HIV or any other life altering disease.
My HIV means a HUMAN INVOLVED in a fight to obtain VICTORY. My story started out like a fairytale. While volunteering at a Mother’s Day brunch at I-FEMALE MAGAZIN E
the Hilton Hotel on City Line Avenue in Philadelphia, PA on Mother’s Day 2006, I caught the eye of a man, a very beautiful and healthy looking man. At that point in my life, I was happy being single as I always loved myself and it didn’t bother me to be single because I lived a stress free and drama free life. I had all the love and support in whatever I did from my family and friends, so I was happy. My family and friends would always say to me “You need to find a man, someone to care for you,” and my response was always “when God is ready for me to have one, I will.” So when I caught the eye of this man, and he pursued me fiercely, I was wowed. You see, I haven’t had many relationships in my life by choice (4 total), and three are still friends to this day. Growing up, I saw many marriages and committed relationships broken up because of cheating spouses, abuse and per-
sons just becoming disinterested in each other. I always said to myself, I don’t want a man that lies, cheats and abuses me in any way, little did I know, I was getting involved with exactly that. I fell in love with this beautiful and what looked like a healthy man, who was 9 years, my senior. I thought with him being older and experiencing a lot in life that was a plus. He told me everything wonderful about himself, as well as a lot of the mistakes he made in his life and in his past relationships. I called myself working on the TRICC method (Trust, Respect, Intimacy, Communication and Commitment) with him. I did not judge him on his pass and accepted him as he was since I thought what he was telling me was the sincere truth as truth was something we both stressed upon. I starting thinking that I could help him live a better life now that he has taken responsibility for his past and was willing to work hard on his future, which looked as though it included me. Besides that he claimed to have accepted God and could preach the Bible to you like a preacher would in church. So now I really thought “WOW”, a God fearing man, we are going to make each other even better persons. So I thought!
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On July 11, 2007, she told me something that would forever change my life, she told me I had HIV. I felt ashamed, scared, stupid, depressed, worthless and so angry that I wanted to kill myself.
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s the months went on, things slowly but surely began to change. While doing his laundry, I found a woman’s
number in his pocket, whom I found out, was also married, and when I questioned him about it he said that she was someone that he met before me and that she lied about being married and that is why he had to break things off with her. Come to find out that was not
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the truth as this same married woman continued to be problematic the whole time up until the end of our relationship. The horror was just beginning. I started finding numbers of other women. I kicked him out and vowed never to take him back. He called and called and came by my house and job and stated how sorry he was and that since I was a strong woman who he didn’t feel as though needed him, he felt he couldn’t talk to me about his feelings, so he would call his old female friends to talk to them about it and that these other females were only friends that he knew long before he met me. I started to doubt myself and thought, I know I have a strong personality, so maybe he did find it hard to talk to me. Big mistake on my part as I learned that I gave him the ok to continue to mistreat me and that if he was persistent and pleaded long and hard enough I would take him back, and he was right. I was too embarrassed to let my family know what was going on. I self doubted me in
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thinking I was being too strong and not letting him be a man or so I let him make me believe that.
I never experienced anything like this and all I felt was embarrassment, shame and fear.
God was saying fool, I am showing you and you’re not listening. Then at the end of June, 2007, I caught this man in the act of cheating with the same female that was mentioned earlier that was married. I was so mad, hurt and embarrassed at all that I allowed myself to go through with this man, and so many more feeling ran through my head, like killing the both of them for making me feel this pain in my heart, but I regained my senses and realized they were not worth it. After catching them I made a doctor’s appointment to be checked for everything. My doctor and I had a great relationship and she was the only one I felt that I could really talk to about what I was enduring and she said to just leave, but I didn’t want to tell her that I had stepped into the next stage with this man of threats to harm me if I did.
I didn’t know who to turn to. My doctor took all kinds of tests on me including an HIV test. HIV was not in my thought process whatsoever, as this man looked and seemed one hundred percent healthy. My doctor called me right after the July 4th holiday and said that she needed to talk to me about something and to call her back right away. Of course I didn’t as I thought my hemoglobin was low as I suffer from anemia and I was trying to work as much overtime as possible to get my bills paid because I allowed this man to put me in a serious financial strain as well. She then called me again and demanded that I come in to see her ASAP. I said why, she said just come in.
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o I went into the office and she had what looked like tears in her eyes and on July 11, 2007, she told me something that would forever change my life, she told me I had HIV. I felt ashamed, scared, stupid, depressed, worthless and so angry that I wanted to kill myself. How could I allow myself to be so stupid! My doctor was on top of everything. She had things set up for me before I even arrived or asked. My doctor and I called this man and I had her tell him as he acted like he didn’t believe me. His surprise was more like an “oh, is that it.” After that, I fell into an instant depression for about 3 weeks, but being the woman I am, I couldn’t stay depressed long. It was like God was saying, “I am not through with you yet.” I tried to distance myself from this man, but I couldn’t. From allowing him to manipulate me all this time, he knew how to honeymoon me and reel me back in. I think I was more afraid of him now, but didn’t want to let it
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show for my daughter’s sake. I wouldn’t let her see the fear, but I was definitely afraid. Not only was I afraid, but I was angry, so angry. I took my anger to a level that I never thought I would be able to do, I started to email every friend, family member and person I knew to let them know that I had this dreadful disease and that I loved them enough for them to know that if it could happen to me it could happen to you. My doctor then put me in touch with people that would become my mentors and help me to begin to heal and help others while in the process. I was being strong for others and putting on the biggest face of everything being ok at home, but suffering in silence with this man. I fell into the mode of him stating that he needed me to survive, because he said that without me, he would be nothing, and that he would never see me with someone else. He also promised for the last time that he would change and that he would work hard to make sure he provided well
for his family. I thought since I have this disease, no one is going to want me now, what do I really have to lose. So on February 28, 2008, after being pressured and giving in, we got married. I felt even more shameful and depressed as I married someone that I did not trust and really did not love. At this point in my life with this disease I just wanted someone, a man, to love me and if it meant forgiving him even though I didn’t truly love him, it meant I wouldn’t be lonely and have to go through this alone. I didn’t even tell my family I got married. I tried to make the best of the situation I got myself into again with this man. In my mind I thought since we both have this dreadful disease, maybe he will straighten up and do right now. I told him that if I found out he was unfaithful again, especially while we are now married, I would be through with him. He promised that he was starting anew with us.
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I never thought I would be associated with anything like this in my life. I always saw others and heard stories of persons that went through similar nightmares, but I never thought it would happen to me. It was like a bad dream that kept getting worse. I later found out that this man cheated on our wedding day. After he began to display some of his old habits, I searched his possessions. I found a cell phone that I didn’t know he had.
If you read this article and judge me or make statements such as that’s not ever going to happen to me, shame on you, because you really never know. You know fully about you, but you can’t fully say that for the person you’re involved with.
he never wanted me to open again and opened doors that helped me draw closer to him and stronger in my new mission to help save lives from acquiring HIV. If you read this article and judge me or make statements such as that’s not ever going to happen to me, As I called each number one by one and shame on you, because you really never know. informed these women that he was HIV posiYou know fully about you, but you can’t fully tive, I grew angrier and angrier. I don’t know if say that for the person you’re involved with. he slept with all of these women, but I wanted to warn them and let them know who I was Everyone has a story to tell. God even and to go get checked for HIV today. I was had a story. If you know of someone who is even angrier now because this monster was HIV Positive or have AIDS and are afraid to infecting others without them knowing. I fi- seek the help that they need to survive due to nally got my courage that day to not fear him the fear and stigmas within our society, please or anyone besides God ever again. help them and/or have them read my story so they will see that they are not alone. Help I allowed someone to instill fear, shame them to be brave enough to seek out help for and doubt in my heart. I gave someone else themselves. Remember we all come into conthe power over me, someone that didn’t detact with each other in one way or another. serve any of what I had to give. I allowed myHIV/AIDS started out as gay white man’s disself to endure baby mama drama, repeated ease here in America in the 80’s and now it cheating, abuse, lying, stealing and so much consumes an enormous portion of persons of more and for what, nothing. In such a short color, specially Blacks/African Americans here time, I learned many hard and valuable lesin America as well as throughout the world. sons, but the one valuable lesson I learned is Although it is said that HIV is no longer a that in my darkest hour, God was still with me death sentence, it still really is if persons are just waiting for me to accept him back into my not being tested and carrying the virus, cause heart without fear, shame or doubt. After I in this instant what you don’t know will kill did that, he started closing doors that he said you. I-FEMALE MAGAZIN E
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I
am a mother, godmother, daughter, sister, friend, cousin, niece, aunt, advocate, activist and a Professional Woman of Color with HIV. I expose myself to you so that I can help you to make better choices so you will not become infected and if you are infected, I give you encouragement in letting you know you are going to live and aspire to still do the great things you set out to do in your life. You are a beautiful gift given to this world from whatever GOD you serve. Recognize your power, take charge of your life and shine. Realize what I realize, U CAN DO IT!!!
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Who’s Gonna Pay The Mortgage?: A Woman's Guide To Relationship Recovery CHAPTER
12
The bank is under new management – Part II (I ain’t accepting no blank checks; I want to see your business plan for your life…) As you read in Chapter 11, you are no longer accepting blank checks of lies, betrayal, and deceit. You are now empowered to accept only paid-in-full checks that will leave your inner self flowing in positive cash flow. You have a better understanding that when you put in hours, you must get paid. Don’t waste your time; life is too precious so don’t get paid minimum wage, set out for what you are worth, and take no prisoners. You are now refreshed and have a clear mind, can think, and will start accepting checks that are worth your time. When businesses are in the process of failing, they seek out help from banks or other investors that will bring them out of the bottom and hopefully save their company. During President Obama’s campaign, he was captured by millions of people for his speech that entailed a six letter word: CHANGE. President Obama continues to strive for these six powerful words by pressing a determined plan to rehabilitate education, energy, financial control, and health care. Change is making an adjustment in any situation or plan, correcting or altering the old way into a new form that will make it easier. When I think of change, the first thing that comes to mind is manage, able to take control. Your business, meaning your relationship, had some bumps, and it needs recovery so you do not lose it (your mind). Just as President Obama put in plans to help restore businesses to health, you can to do the same. Create a new plan for yourself; you are NO LONGER ACCEPTING BLANK CHECKS.
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You have criteria that must be met in order for
carefully choosing a woman he wants to en-
you to accept this man for what he is worth.
ter a relationship with. Sorry I have to capi-
For example, you want to take a line of credit
talize the word MEN, because there is a
out on your home to start a new business. You
huge distinction between what a MAN looks
must meet the bank’s requirements in order
for in a relationship and a BOY who plays
for your loan to be accepted. You may have to
with the word “relationship.”
provide proof of income, taxes, a business
Kristen has a great professional career, owns two homes, and is in the process of beginning her own business. Her man has a job; however, she states he’s not empowered as she to own a home or to start his own business. This is a prime example, ladies, of men getting into a serious relationship with a woman who has a set of goals she’s thriving in. On the other hand, women, as long as the man has a decent job, gives good satisfying sex, and makes you feel like you are the only one, you’re good. The difference I see is when men decide to be in a relationship, he looks for the benefits, and the woman usually doesn’t. We allow our emotions to be a tour guide into the future of a serious situation, our HEART. Just as the man seeks to assure the woman has herself together, it’s our duty to do the same.
plan, which I will elaborate on more in this chapter, and a credit report to assure you are capable of paying your bills on time. The bank is now under new management, and you must decide what set of criteria you will accept to keep your bank in business. The same goes in a relationship. As I stated earlier in Chapter 10 Potential Meter Versus Reality, you must have a set of requirements you follow no matter what. If you are celibate waiting for your husband, keep it. If you’re waiting a certain amount of time prior to introducing your children to the man you are dating, keep it. If you do not date a man that smokes or drinks, keep it. Do not change your requirements; when you change who you are, you lose your creditability to yourself and the man. Ladies, believe it or not men
As I stated before earlier in the chapter,
have a set of requirements that we must also
when asking for money from a bank to open
meet. I am talking about MEN, not BOYS.
a business, they will want to see a business
Working with clients, I come across many rela-
plan. A business plan is a written document
tionship situations that I can quickly assess the type of woman the man is seeking. In my personal and professional opinion, I think MEN make a more intelligent decision when
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that summarizes the financial and operational objectives of a business and contains detailed plans and budgets showing your busi-
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ness performance. Business plans have standard components that identify you as specific from other businesses. Writing a business plan you must identify your business, know your market, and have a key focus on target customers. If you know anything about a business plan, you must have a mission statement, or mantra. A mission statement tells who your company is, what you stand for, what you do, and why you do it in less than 30 seconds. A mantra, on the other hand, is short and sweet—three to four words long—and explains why the company exists. For example, this is as I stated in Chapter 11 PAY TO THE ORDER IS A PEACE OF MIND. The mantra would be PIECE OF MIND. Now that we have the specifics covered, let’s translate this business plan into a specific strategic focus on your man, or potential mate. The following will be a mission statement and mantra you are to look for:
MANTRA CHARACTER OF INTEGRITY RESPECT THE SOUL GRATITUDE, LOYALTY, KINDNESS ENRICHING LIVES OF OTHERS AUTHENIC MOTIVATING PERFORMANCE MISSION STATEMENT I AM A MAN OF INTEGRITY THAT REPRENSENTS GOODNESS IN THE AREAS OF HONESTY AND RESPECT FOR MYSELF AND OTHERS. I AM A HIGH SCHOOL BASKETBALL COACH THAT HELPS AND ENJOYS MENTORING THE YOUTH. I CARE FOR PEOPLE AS MY MOTHER CARES FOR ME; I HAVE A GREAT RELATIONSHIP WITH MY HIGHER POWER.
Now ladies, if this man were true with his written business plan for his life he would be mine. I am the one who imagined and created him. Do you understand what I am trying to explain? Yes, we will see the opposite business plan with the negative mantra and mission statement, which is when you run. I want you to understand that acceptance is what you allow. You now have a complete understanding in making a better business transaction. The bank is under new management; he must provide his business plan for his life or don’t waste your time. I-FEMALE MAGAZIN E
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The U.S. Positive Women’s Network- US-PWN, is a national membership of HIV- positive women including transwomen and allies working for federal policy change. Our mission is to prepare and involve HIV-positive women in all levels of policy and decision-making to improve the quality of women’s lives. The PWN applies gender equality and human rights lens to the HIV epidemic to achieve federal policies grounded in the reality of women’s lived experiences. The US- PWN is a project of W.O.R.L.D. (Women Organized to Respond to Life Threatening Diseases) and was established in 2008. Since that time PWN has grown in regional chapters across the country. PWN-Philadelphia was established in June 2009. PWN-Philly’s “Count Women in Campaign” calls for Women Centered Care, an integration of health and reproductive services and a broadening of women initiated methods of HIV Prevention. Thus the demand to “Count women, All women, into HIV Prevention Plans, Re-
Wholistic Tips
Greetings I-Female Readers,
really, is an important part of the life experience.
It has been a year of pruning, challenges, growing and evolving. As the year is coming to a close, I would like to share quotes from one of my favorite individuals in the world: Depak Chopra. He inspires me so, and I feel confident that these few quotes - will help you think of the wholenessof-life, and how everything,
God Bless You and Happy Holidays, Everybody! From Author, Spiritual Leader, Wisdom Teacher, Motivational Speaker, Deepak Chopra #1 > Joy is a return to the deep harmony of body, mind, and spirit that was yours at birth and that can be yours again. That openness to love, that capacity for wholeness 1 7
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society and their biological vulnerability to HIV infection.”
sources, Leadership and Consultation. As we approach World AIDS Day 2012 the US PWN is com-
The US –PWN, embraces the values of SELF IDENTITY, LEAD-
mitted to making the connections between Intimate Partner
ERSHIP DEVELOPMENT, MEANINGFUL INVOLVEMENT,
Violence and HIV. Calling a timeline and work plan from the
CHANGING THE BALANCE OF POWER and the ROOT CAUSE
President’s Federal Working Group on the Intersection of HIV/
ANALOGY that the HIV epidemic and its disproportionate im-
AIDS, Violence Against Women, we look forward to developing
pact on marginalized communities are symptoms of larger
interventions that empower women to protect themselves
structural injustices – including but not limited to racism,
from HIV and Violence.
classism, sexism, homophobia, and stigmatizing attitudes to-
Modeled after ICW-International Community of Women Living with HIV, the ambition of the US-PWN is to draw on the collective power of over 300, 000 women known to be living with HIV in the United States to ensure federal, state and local policies are gender sensitive. Women and girls currently account for nearly a third of the US epidemic. According to UNAIDS, “At the end of 2010 it was estimated that out of the 34 million adults worldwide living with HIV and AIDS, half are women.2 The AIDS epidemic has had a unique impact on women, which has been exacerbated by their role within
with the world around you, is still within you. #2 > Inner silence promotes clarity of mind; It make us value the inner world; It trains us to go inside To the source of peace and inspiration When we are faced with problems and challenges.
wards communities vulnerable to acquiring HIV.
In addition, we believe that the full human rights and dignity of HIV-positive people, all women, people of color, low-income people, sex workers, LGBTQ persons, and drug users must be upheld in order to prevent HIV infection and ensure a high quality of life for those living with HIV.
Pure consciousness is pure potentiality; it is the field of all possibilities and infinite creativity. Pure consciousness is our spiritual essence. Being infinite and unbounded, it is also pure joy. Other attributes of consciousness are pure knowledge, infinite silence, perfect balance, invincibility, simplicity, and bliss. This is our essential nature.
#3 > The first spiritual law of success
Our essential nature is one of pure potentiality.
discomfort. This is truly the key to creating balance and harmony in everything you do. #5 > Losing touch with spirit does nothing to the field of creativity, which is beyond harm; but it can do much to damage a person's chance in life.
By: Tina Louise
is the law of pure potentiality. This law is based on the fact that we are, in our essential state, pure consciousness. I-FEMALE MAGAZIN E
#4 > Just as light brightens darkness, discovering inner fulfillment can eliminate any disorder or
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10 New Year's Resolutions By Albrecht Powell, About.com Guide
New Year's Eve has always been a time for looking back to the past, and more importantly, forward to the coming year. It's a time to reflect on the changes we want (or need) to make and resolve to follow through on those changes. Did your New Year resolutions make our top ten list?
1. Spend More Time with Family & Friends Recent polls conducted by General Nutrition Centers, Quicken, and others shows that more than 50% of Americans vow to appreciate loved ones and spend more time with family and friends this year. Make plans to meet up with friends for an evening of camaraderie at a favorite Pittsburgh restaurant or take the family to one of these popular Pittsburgh places for family fun. Work shouldn't always come first! 2. Fit in Fitness The evidence is in for fitness. Regular exercise has been associated with more health benefits than anything 1 9
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else known to man. Studies show that it reduces the risk of some cancers, increases longevity, helps achieve and maintain weight loss, enhances mood, lowers blood pressure, and even improves arthritis. In short, exercise keeps you healthy and makes you look and feel better. Why not make this the time to start getting in shape for one of these popular Pittsburgh Area Charity Walks, Runs or Rides?
your body, mind and soul. Or just get out and try something new! Take up a new hobby or try your hand at skiing. Go to a theater performance, or head to the local spa. Pittsburgh offers a wealth of artistic and recreational activities to meet just about anyone's wishes. 6. Quit Drinking
While many people use the New Year as an incentive to finally stop drinking, most are not equipped Over 66 percent of adult Americans are considered to make such a drastic lifestyle change all at once. overweight or obese by recent studies, so it is not Many heavy drinkers fail to quit cold turkey but do surprising to find that weight loss is one of the most much better when they taper gradually, or even popular New Year's resolutions. Setting reasonable learn to moderate their drinking. If you have decidgoals and staying focused are the two most imed that you want to stop drinking, there is a world portant factors in sticking with a weight loss proof help and support available. Pittsburgh Alcoholics gram, and the key to success for those millions of Anonymous offers meetings throughout the greater Americans who made a New Year's commitment to Pittsburgh area. There is also a Pittsburgh group for shed extra pounds. Parents of Teenage Alcohol and Drug Abusers. There are also a number of treatment-based pro4. Quit Smoking grams, as well as support groups for families of alIf you have resolved to make this the year that you coholics. stamp out your smoking habit, over-the-counter 7. Get Out of Debt availability of nicotine replacement therapy now provides easier access to proven quit-smoking aids. Was money a big source of stress in your life last Even if you've tried to quit before and failed, don't year? Join the millions of Americans who have relet it get you down. On average, smokers try about solved to spend this year getting a handle on their four times before they quit for good. Start enjoying finances. It's a promise that will repay itself many the rest of your smoke-free life! Even Allegheny times over in the year ahead. County is trying to go smoke-free, and it's taken 8. Learn Something them a few tries as well. Locally, there are a variety New of free support services, hotlines and smoking cesHave you vowed to sation classes to help you kick the smoking habit. make this year the 5. Enjoy Life More year to learn someGiven the hectic, stressful lifestyles of millions of thing new? Perhaps Americans, it is no wonder that "enjoying life more" you are considering has become a popular resolution in recent years. a career change, It's an important step to a happier and healthier want to learn a new you! Consider one of Pittsburgh's holistic healing language, or just centers for products designed to bring balance to how to fix your 3. Tame the Bulge
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computer? Whether you take a course or read a book, you'll find education to be one of the easiest, most motivating New Year's resolutions to keep. The Community College of Allegheny County offers a wide variety of "lifelong learning" courses, and local YMCA's offer great recreational training for beginners of all ages. Most local colleges and universities offer distance and adult education programs. Or if the arts are more your thing, places such as the Carnegie Museum of Art and the Pittsburgh Center for the Arts offer adult studio classes. 9. Help Others A popular, non-selfish New Year's resolution, volunteerism can take many forms. Whether you choose to spend time helping out at your local library, mentoring a child, or building a house, there are many nonprofit volunteer organizations that could really use your help. The Pittsburgh Cares organization makes it easy by connecting volunteers with projects to fit practically any schedule. Or if your time is really in short supply, maybe you can at least find it in you to donate the furniture, clothing and other household items that you no longer need, rather than leaving them out by the curb to fill up our landfills. 10. Get Organized On just about every New Year resolution top ten list, organization can be a very reasonable goal. Whether you want your home organized enough that you can invite someone over on a whim, or your office organized enough that you can find the stapler when you need it, these tips and resources should get you started on the way to a more organized life. Pittsburgh has quite a few professional organizers who can help you reduce the clutter in your life and find peace in your home. Professional Pittsburgh organizer Patty Kreamer even offers a a six-month But I Might Need it Someday!
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15 Easy Ways to Increase Productivity and Get More Done BY: Susan Gunelius
Do you ever feel like there aren’t enough hours in the day to get everything done that you need to do? Most people have felt this way in the past or feel that way right now. It’s an extremely common feeling, but most people don’t know how to solve the problem. You can’t stop time to get more done, but there are little things you can do each day to free up some of your time and be more productive. Below are 15 easy ways you can increase productivity and get more done. It’s important to point out that, each of the tips in this list won’t work for every person. Find the strategies that work for you, and you’ll find more time to get things done each day. 1. Get up earlier. It really is that simple. Set your alarm clock ten minutes earlier each day for a week. At the end of the week, you’ll be getting up over an hour earlier than you did the week before, but you’ll have time to adjust to the new schedule. You’d be amazed how much more you can get done with an extra hour each morning. 2. Get to work thirty minutes earlier than everyone else. If you can get into your office or workplace just a half hour earlier than anyone else, you’ll be able to accomplish an hour’s worth of work. The reason is simple — you’ll have no distractions. Getting to work early when fewer people are there is far more effective in terms of boosting your productivity than staying late when the office is still filled with people. 3. Create daily to do lists. To do lists are critical for boosting productivity. Create a prioritized list with the most important things at the top of the list, and cross out each item as you complete it. Splitting the list into sections for critical tasks and non-critical tasks is important to ensure your list is do-able and not overwhelming.
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4. Learn how and when to say no. Learning to say no is extremely difficult for many people, but it’s essential for increasing productivity. Non-essential tasks should be declined, deferred, or delegated so you can complete critical tasks.
5. Keep meetings short. Don’t let meetings that you control run longer than thirty minutes. Attendees should come prepared and outcomes should be identified in advance, so the meeting can stay on topic. 6. Turn off your email.
hour but gotten very little work done? It’s time to take a break. Sometimes taking a few minutes away from a project enables you to come back with a fresh mind. What was impossible to accomplish before becomes easy to do after a break.
12. Automate tasks.
Whether you buy a Roomba to vacuum your house or use an accounting software program to automatically manage your banking and finances, there are tools that can help you at work or at home to automate tasks and give you more free time. Use that free time Don’t answer your email as it comes in. Instead, schedule to accomplish tasks that cannot be automated. specific times throughout the day to read and respond to email. And, of course, don’t forget to manage your email. 7. Turn off your phones. Don’t answer your phone when you’re in the middle of a project. You can return important phone calls when you’re done, but allowing interruptions that break your concentration while you’re working reduces your productivity.
13. Schedule blocks of time to work on specific projects.
It can be difficult to get a block of time to work on a project that requires more than a few minutes. Therefore, you should schedule time on your calendar to complete these projects. Block out a period of time so others know you’re not available, and work on nothing else but that project during that time. 8. Take notes in a specific notebook. Don’t fall into the trap of hanging Post-it notes every- Schedule other activities around that block of time. where or jotting notes on any piece of paper that’s handy. This lack of organization causes you to waste 14. Identify what’s draining your time. time later when you’re trying to find that piece of pa- Spend a week analyzing your daily schedule. Write per where you wrote that important note. Instead, down what you do each day and how long each task keep a notebook handy where you can write all notes takes you. At the end of the week, review the information and identify what is draining all of your time. throughout the day. Can you skip any of these tasks? Can you have someone else do them? Can you revise the way you do 9. Don’t get in your own way. Are you the type of person who procrastinates by these tasks to save time? Often, simply identifying the making other work for yourself? Do you avoid an un- problem areas can help you recoup valuable time. desirable project by creating and focusing on other tasks that could actually wait? Don’t work against 15. Limit the time you spend on the internet or yourself by rationalizing your procrastination in this watching television. way. Instead, pick up the project you don’t feel like How much time do you spend surfing the web and doing and just get it done! watching television each week? Track the time you spend doing each for a week (be honest), and you’ll 10. Learn how to outsource and delegate. probably be surprised by how much time you waste If there are things that you can pay someone else to online or in front of the television. Commit to reducdo for less money than it costs in terms of your time ing the amount of time you spend watching television to do them, then outsource or delegate those tasks. by one hour and reducing the amount of time you These could be work-related or personal tasks. spend online by one hour per week each. Instead, spend those two hours working on the tasks you never have enough time to complete. 11. Know when you need to take a break. Have you been staring at your computer screen for an I-FEMALE MAGAZIN E
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