I-Female Magazine | November 2012 by I-Female Magazine

Pg.4 Homeless Youth Awareness Month Pg.19 Romance, is it temporary? Moving from Relationship to Relationship? Pg.12 You Need A Sister To Be Your Ryda

Pg.9 We Feed The Homeless

I-Female Magazine $6.50

Cover Features Ryda From Butterflies Inc Photography By: Brittany Beeunas

November 2012 | www.i-female.net | I-Female Publishing

Publisher Stenell Greene-Myers Editor Vanessa Curtis Design Trudean Wright Le Petite Capella Photographer Brittany Beeunas Contributors J.T. Barber Tony Myers Tina Louise T.K.W If you want I-Female magazine at your location email us at magazine@i-female.net If you want to get involved, if you have a story or something you want to share contact us. magazine@ifemale.net Find us online www.i-female.net Join our mailing list for month newsletter for give away and upcoming events

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I-Female is a tribute to female empowerment; it allows you to look at yourselves as strong individuals and not just victims or survivors. WRITE US I-Female Magazine welcomes letters from its readers. To contact Editorial: Send us a email (magazine@ifemale.net) or mail (Letters to I-Female Magazine, P.O Box 935 Vineland, New Jersey 08362). Letters should include the writerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s full name, address and daytime phone number. Letters may be edited for length and clarity.

J.T. Barber Presents SoulSpeak Sundays is held every 3rd Sunday of the month from 58pm at Teaful Bliss Cafe in Philadelphia. Whether you're a poet, spoken word artist, musician, comedian, singer, or spectator, this monthly event is for you. The first hour of SoulSpeak Sundays is for business networking and socializing. So bring your product(s) and/ or business cards. Come out and relax, relate, and release...and let your Soul Speak Upcoming SoulSpeak Sundays Event _________________________________ 10/21/2012 | J.T Barber Presents: SoulSpeak Sundays 11/18/2012 | J.T Barber Presents: SoulSpeak Sundays "Thanksgiving" 12/16/2012 | J.T Barber Presents: SoulSpeak Sundays "Winter Special" Visit www.jtbarberonline.com for more information about SoulSpeak Sundays

TABLE OF CONTENTS

PG 7 Do You Gotta Go?

PG 9 We Feed The Homeless

PG 18

PG 21

Why Are You Accepting Black Checks?

Men’s Health Awareness

PG 11 You Need A Sister To Be Your Ryda

I-Female Magazine welcomes letters from its readers. To contact Editorial: Send us a email (magazine@i-female.net) or mail (Letters to I-Female Magazine, P.O Box 935 Vineland, New Jersey 08362). Letters should include the writer’s full name, address and daytime phone number. Letters may be edited for length and clarity.

Cover: Ryda Butterflies Inc. Photography by: Brittany Beeunas

Back Cover: Teaful Bliss Café 1043 Spring Garden Philadelphia, PA | Designed by JT Designs

National Homeless Youth Awareness Month

of runaway and home1.6 million youth under the age of 18 runaway or are thrown away each year. less youth tend to be of the BY:T.K.W representative community they live in, however, there is some ccording to the National Child Traumatic evidence that AfricanAmerican youth are over Stress Network (NCTSN) each year more than 1.6 -represented in the runmillion children are homeless at some point in their away population. lives, and that number is increasing (The National Center on Family Homelessness). Along with losing Additionally, it has been their home, community, friends, and routines as well estimated that, in some as their sense of stability and safety, many homeless cities, up to 40 percent youth are also victims of trauma. of the homeless youth population identify as While trying to survive on the streets, youth are exLGBTQ. posed to countless dangers, with an increased likelihood of substance abuse, early parenthood, impul- Like the population, the sivity, depression, posttraumatic stress disorder, and causes of youth homea vulnerability to being trafficked. The demographics lessness are also varied.

Often, however they include family conflict that can involve physical and sexual abuse by a parent or guardian, financial inability to care for a youth, parental drug and alcohol abuse, or a rejection due to sexual orientation or gender identity. In support of National Homeless Youth Awareness Month, I-Female Magazine put together a list of organizations and support groups for homeless youths or youths who are thinking about running away.

Letter From The Editor “Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, And sorry I could not travel both And be one traveler, long I stood And looked down one as far as I could To where it bent in the undergrowth; Then took the other, as just as fair, And having perhaps the better claim, Because it was grassy and wanted wear; Though as for that the passing there Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay In leaves no step had trodden black. Oh, I kept the first for another day! Yet knowing how way leads on to way, I doubted if I should ever come back. I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference.” The Road Not Taken- Robert Frost As we approach the end of 2012 ask yourselves; Will I travel the road not taken? Each year, we make a New Year’s resolution and even though we attempt to keep our promises we often fail because we travel the same road each and every time.. Why wait until January when you can start now? Welcome to our November issue of I-Female magazine. I-Female started with a thought… I am, I can, I will, IFemale. A voice for women and young adults, I-Female was design to help inspire, motivate and encourage. We exist to help educate, empower and uplift women in areas such as entrepreneurial development. We also help to bring awareness to issues like domestic violence, depression and healthy living for both women and men. I-Female is a tribute to female empowerment; allow us to encourage you to not look at yourselves as victims or survivors but as strong women. In this month’s issue, we are pleased to have Ryda from Butterflies Inc. on our cover. I-Female had the pleasure of meeting Butterflies Inc. at our 1st Annual “I Am A Survivor” Fundraiser Gala in April. Ryda shares her

story with us telling I-Female how she got the name “Ryda” and how her sisters at Butterflies Inc. are a great inspiration to her. She also shares how being a part of the organization has changed her life. Also in this month issue, we address one of America’s growing problems “Homelessness”. November is Homeless Youth Awareness Month; “1.6 million youth experience homelessness without a parent or guardian each year, facing numerous barriers to meeting basic needs.” It’s horrifying to think of any child being homeless—but to suffer through it alone? The notion of becoming homeless because your parents didn’t care for you magnifies this concern. I-Female Magazine will be reaching out to various non-profit organizations who are helping our homeless youths so we can give them a better today for a brighter tomorrow. Each month we provide health information about our women. This month, we focus on our men, in honor of Men’s Health Awareness month. November is also known for Thanksgiving Day. We wish everyone a safe and happy Thanksgiving because we have much to be thankful for. Our deepest prayers and condolences go out to everyone who was affected by Hurricane Sandy. Many families will be without a home and may not be able to enjoy Thanksgiving, so this Thanksgiving keep those in mind who are without. We would like to thank our readers/fans! It is because of you that I-Female is real. We appreciate you for your continued support as we strive each month to bring you Inspiration, Motivation and Encouragement. Have a Happy Thanksgiving Trudean Wright Editor-in- Chief

ave you been suffering from an over-active, weak-bladder, or have started having an inconti-

nence issue? Let's get right to it! Bladder problems are more common in adult women, who have given birth to children, and in their pre-menopausal or menopause time of life. But there are good news ladies! There are natural ways to strengthen the bladder, and help you incontinence. As always - check with your Doctor and consider having some tests, just to make sure it is not anything more serious like bladder cancer, or an infection. 1st - You may want to start tracking the times of the day you have to urinate. Believe it our not, if you stand up and stretch, also bend your waste side to side... if you try this every time you think you have an sensation to go to the bathroom, it will relieve some of the pressure off the bladder muscle; especially because of sitting for long periods of time like in the office. 2nd - After tracking the times you feel you have to go to the bathroom each day, try to train yourself to go to the bathroom at certain times every day. This is not always easy or possible, however, if you make an effort - you may be able to get favorable results. 3rd - All of us, most likely, have grown up hearing about doing "Kegel" exercises. Well it is true ladies and young ladies! It actually does work to help strengthen your pelvic muscles. "Kegel" exercises is best explained by saying, "to hold or stop your flow of urine". By doing this, you are contracting your inner pelvic muscle. You will probably see an effective (positive) change in your bladder, in about two months of performing "Kegel" exercises a few minutes each day.

4th - For a lot of females, if we reduce our intake of caffeine, soda, and tea - this may help strengthen your bladder. The body actually craves water, and drinking water will strengthen and help clean toxins out of your bladder (as well as other organs in our body, of course). Drinking a lot of water will keep you from getting dehydrated - which is part of the problem too. Some of us are dehydrated and are not aware of it, and it is causing all kind of weird sensations and problems in our body. 5th - There is the pelvic bone and ligaments attached to the bladder to keep it in place. So - ladies, we want to be careful about lifting heaving things and doing certain exercises until we get our bladder in control. Some of the time our bodies just need time to relax and heal. Lastly, "do not" ignore those signals in your body that something might be wrong. Don't be embarrassed to share your concerns with your doctor - make sure there are not other issues going on. Let's pay attention and take better care of ourselves! Enjoy the Fall Season - it's a time of revival and change. Peace and Blessings, Everyone ! Tina Louise www.twitter.com/talk2tl

I-Female Magazine

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IMPORTANT NOTICE Today kicks off we Feed the Homeless Philly’s Annual Turkey Drive. We feed the Homeless Philly provides turkeys and fixings to families across Philadelphia and surrounding areas who are in need of a Thanksgiving meal during the holiday season. Since public assistance has been slashed in Pennsylvania, our homeless lines have been flooded with families who can’t provide their children, grandparents and parents a meal during these struggling times. We also receive calls from the public from families who are in need of Thanksgiving dinner. We cook Thanksgiving dinner on /or a day after Thanksgiving for the homeless or provide churches with turkeys so that those who are seeking help can get them from the front lines. Please assist us in our efforts. They need your help. Send us an email at wefeedthehomelessphilly@gmail.com or call 215 764-5688 if you can help and leave your name, number and location of the city you are in for pickup.

Last year we collected over 500. Let’s go for a 1,000 this year. There is nothing like sitting at home with family during the holiday season About We Feed The Homeless Philly is a 501 (c)3 nonprofit organization that provides food & resources to Philly's homeless community. We Feed the Homeless Philly is of the opinion that history will judge us by the character of our actions. Therefore, we are unable and unwilling to ignore the plight of the human condition and pledge to take those steps necessary to enrich the livelihood of America's homeless by providing nutritious sustenance. Moreover, we shall respond to this emergent situation with due diligence, and in such a way that America's homeless are treated with the utmost dignity and respect. Lastly, we remain prayerful that our deeds are recognized for what they are, a sincere attempt to make positive contributions to the greater societal good P.O. Box 36606 , Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 19107

www.wefeedthehomelessphilly.org

I-Female Magazine

“These are the things that I love. Let me use them.”

Introducing Keith McCrea…

It has been said that the greatest of ideas lay in the plots of the cemetery. Hundreds of thousands of manuscripts will never be shared with the world. Although the reasons may vary greatly, the world has been deprived of ideas, concepts, philosophy, poetry & prose that could have shaped it. If you have been sitting for some time, at the crossroads of dreams & reality, allow us to assure you that your dream of becoming a published author is absolutely possible. Make sure to do your due diligence in your research. Choose a publishing option that best suits you and the vision you have for your project. Crystal Stair Publications prides itself on publishing “Art that Touches the Heart”. With this as our first priority, we are only accepting manuscripts aligned with our mission.

Poet…Graphic Designer…Photographer and given the day, so much more. ‘Our modern day Cyrano’ is full of imagination and creativity. Keith McCrea started with his first poem, in high school. Putting those words on paper to express his feelings of affection was until that moment, very unfamiliar. From that time on, Keith has been navigating through life, learning and maturing as a man and a poet. He says that the greatest of these lessons, is learning “how to express love and connecting with another soul”. Say That You Love Me is a written testament to those lessons learned.

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COVER EXCLUSIVE

You Need A Sister To Be Your Ryda I chose the name Ryda for a variety of reasons: for one, I have always been the family member and/or friend who have been the one who is the go-to person, the one who has everyone’s back, the one who will “ride” life with you until the wheels falls off! PHOTOGRAPHS BY BRITTANY BEEUNAS

s a thirty year old wife, mother of two, healthcare worker and nursing student, I found myself revolving all of my time around being a caregiver and nurturer to multitudes of family and friends throughout my life. Once I realized this path could no longer continue on the same trajectory as it has been traveling, I eventually found myself in search of a nurturing experience…..a positive and enriching outlet designed just for me. In the summer of 2009, my search manifested into a life-altering experience as I was introduced to a unique sisterhood organization by two long term friends. I listened to them share their personal experiences and decided to see what this organization entailed for myself. After attending an information session, I knew immediately this was something I wanted to be a part of. My life changed in an instant from that moment forward as the initiation of lifelong relationships began to build. In the fall of 2011, the group of women I bonded with for the past two years not by blood, but by a greater cause, decided to make a radical change from the life we once knew as dedicated members of the original social sisterhood organization. The sister-

hood we shared was uncanny, unprecedented and unbreakable; however the need to embark on a different path than the one we currently were traveling on became much more evident. A drastic and highly emotional decision was made to separate from the birthplace of our sisterhood beginnings to embark on a new journey traveling in a new direction. The spark was ignited and Butterflies I.N.C. was founded in 2011. Seeing a need to expand the current Diasporas of membership to include women not just of AfricanAmerican descent, there was an overarching need to continuously instill and nurture positive models of self-esteem, selfawareness and self-worth for the existing members of the organization and its future membership. The collaboration of our thirtytwo founding charter members is continuously placing a mark not only in the social community by supporting positive events, but by maintaining our commitment to volunteering in the community as a means to give back. We also host events worthy of notoriety and positive enrichment.

I-Female Magazine

â&#x20AC;&#x153;I personally feel that our sisters appreciate the organization more since sacrificing their time, energy and commitment to not only themselves but to their line sisters to complete assignments, projects and the tasks set before them to get the job done.â&#x20AC;?

The spark was ignited and Butterflies I.N.C. was founded in 2011. Seeing a need to expand the current Diasporas of membership to include women not just of AfricanAmerican descent, there was an overarching need to continuously instill and nurture positive models of self-esteem, selfawareness and self-worth for the existing members of the organization and its future membership. The collaboration of our thirty -two founding charter members is continuously placing a mark not only in the social community by supporting positive events, but by maintaining our commitment to volunteering in the community as a means to give back. We also host events worthy of notoriety and positive enrichment. Becoming a member of Butterflies I.N.C. is not an easy task as I often state but itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not impossible or insurmountable which has been proven by the addition of fourteen new sisters who successfully completed their nine month internship in July of 2012. We look for quality in our sisters, not quantity. I personally feel that our sisters appreciate the organization more since sacrificing their time, energy and commitment to not only them13

selves but to their line sisters to complete assignments, projects and the tasks set before them to get the job done. This sisterhood organization forces you to confront the hidden secrets within yourself through self discovery, build relationships with women you may not have otherwise met in a lifetime, improves your time management skills and harnesses the hidden talent within each of us, talent and ability which you thought never existed.

I-Female Magazine

Every sisterhood organization has something that makes them unique. Butterflies I.N.C. believes in ensuring that sisters maintain their bonds through structured and unstructured activities. We enjoy outings and sister socials that take the edge off of life and allow us to let our hair down and have fun. In addition to socials, we do sponsor events where the outside public is invited and they can enjoy our company as well. Within the organization, women are required to come up with a nickname that personifies who they are or a goal they wish to attain. This unique identifier is used within the confines of the organization only and is used as terms of endearment for one another. The name never changes and each sister comes up with their own name. I chose the name Ryda for a variety of reasons: for one, I have always been the family member and/or friend who have been the one who is the go-to person, the one who has everyone’s back, the one who will “ride” life with you until the wheels falls off! Volunteering is also a huge part of who we are. Butterflies I.N.C.’s philanthropic efforts have been shared with some of the following entities: IBC Blue Cross Run, Susan G. Komen (Race for the Cure, Sisters for the Cure, Latinas for the Cure), MANNA, Philadelphia Magazine Designer Home, and Ronald McDonald House just to name a few. We believe in giving back to those who less fortunate and blessed and believe in rolling up our sleeves and being the worker bees of the hive sort of speak. Our organization sets a volunteering goal that typically amounts to close to 4,000 volunteer hours yearly. In order to continue active membership within the organization, members must complete a minimum of fifteen (15) volunteer activities each year. In addition to uplifting the community through volunteering for a wide variety of well known organizations, our top priority is to uplift ourselves and one another within the organization. We are a true sisterhood who enjoy spending quality time with one another outside of the community at large. Countless hours have been spent doing a wide variety of activities including movie night watching the Twilight marathon, pulling together to support a birthday celebration for one of the children of a sister, spending time blinging shirts out, raiding the malls trying to find outfits, redressing another sister, or just having a sister date. I could provide countless numbers of examples of priceless moments in the life of our organization because the list goes on and on because it’s the small things we do together and for one another that make us laugh, giggle, cry tears of joy and smile. Every one of us realizes the importance of having a different sister for every need or life situation. Each of us in the organization serve in some capacity to aid and/or receive based on our own specialty. There are times when human words are an inadequate expression of what we feel, however a sisterhood bond that transcends space, time or blood relationship ultimately enables you to be in tune with how your sister feels even when she can’t utter the words. There are sisters to work out with, shoe shopping sisters, spa day sisters, sisters to go to church with, sisters to make you laugh, ones that will dry your tear-stained eyes or cry with or a sister that you can cook with or that will teach you how to cook when you only know how to burn water! At any rate, no matter what the need is, there is a sister for every reason and season in life and it doesn’t have to be a special occasion for them to be there for you. As the Public Relations Officer it is my direct responsibility to notify the community regarding programs and events for Butterflies I.N.C. and the importance of our mission. We utilize all forms of social media (i.e., Facebook, Twitter) in addition to traditional methods of communication through distribution of email, flyers and word of mouth. The Street team that I lead remains an integral part of the organization through maintaining positive relationships in the community through consistent interaction and support of various events.

I-Female Magazine

My sisters are Creative and sweet as Honey. Our outer Beauty doesn’t fog or over shadow the fact that we are all Versatile and Majestic. We are Virtuous Women that have our own flavor and Spice but once you add a touch of Brown Suga to our Bubbly personalities you will see that we are all Sassy. We had an Epiphany and have been on quite a Journey ever since. We are Determined to leave a Legacy that can be remembered by the Flame we ignited in 2011. We add Sunshine to each other’s days; teach each other what it really means to be Loyal, make each other smile until we see our sisters Dimples. We all have our own Starr studded personalities that Sparkle like Platinum. We can be chic like Ms. Fabulous or as colorful as Pandora but above everything were all Precious. We have Free spirits and are full of Harmony and Poise that will last Forever. We take our sisters as they are whether their eyes are Sapphire or Mahogany, whether they have Envy from the past, whether they seem Fiesty or sweet as Cotton Candy. We can speak intelligent like Vivacious and give you history on Venus, or school you on Starbucks and suggest you try it Smooth and Blaq or with a hint of Mocha. Either way there’s a sister for you to be with Seven days of the week whether you need make up tips from Mysterious or you need a sister to be your Ryda. We are Butterflies I.N.C. Igniting Nurturing and Confident Women. Butterflies I.N.C. is a professional women’s non-profit organization that is dedicated to improving the lives of women by building stronger families and communities, one sister at a time. The organizations goals are to nurture and instill confidence in women while sharing the bonds of sisterhood, provide service through volunteerism to the greater community and promote positive events for women and families. If you are interested in contacting Butterflies I.N.C. regarding volunteer opportunities, membership inquiries, or having our organization host an event, forward your request via email to info@butterfliesinc.org. For more information, please visit our website www.butterfliesinc.org, Like us on Facebook @ Butterflies INC and Follow us on Twitter @ Butterflies_INC.

I-Female Magazine

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I-Female Magazine

In order to survive financially, we must work

she was looking for a relation-

not a day or night they

to keep up our lifestyle. After working for two

ship, was very specific, and said

were not together. They

weeks, we are anticipating a paycheck, which

she did not have sex with just

quickly introduced their

we already pre-spent. Imagine after getting up

anyone. The guy was five years

children and incorpo-

early in the morning for work five, sometimes

older and was married twice.

rated families. This man

count is zero. You will go off, blow up like the

He was married for fourteen

had female friends he

Incredible Hulk. After investing all your time

years with his first wife. His sec-

still

getting to work, and once at work breaking

ond marriage lasted for a year.

with. To make his new

your back, you don’t get a pay! This is how it

The man said he was dating

woman feel secure, he

feels when investing forty-plus hours in a man,

other women, but was looking

changed

talking to him on the phone, home visits,

to settle down if he found the

number; however, this

cooking, cleaning his apartment, supporting

right woman to complete him

did not stop women

him through tough times, and of course giving

and his children. Everything

from calling him, which

him sex whenever he wants. When it’s time

went so fast – he bought her

left an insecurity in the

for you to get paid with honesty, consistency,

expensive items, such as jew-

female, wondering why

and compassion, PAY TO THE ORDER OF IS

elry, gave her a key to his

he would continue to

BLANK with lies, deception, and manipulation,

house, they looked for homes

talk with women he said

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together, made plans to move

he no longer wanted an

confusion, and betrayal.

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encounter

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I-Female Magazine

had

connections

his

with,

phone

and

This insecurity led the woman to sneak through his phone to find her man communicating with the same females. In other words he changed his phone number then ended up giving the same females his new number. When the woman questioned the phone

R R

calls he immediately became defensive and drew back. Lies became extreme and unbelievable, and he did not call for days at a

Moving from

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made her respond insecurely, which resulted in the woman getting fed up, breaking off the relationship. This was a relief to the man. Don’t get me wrong – he wanted to be with her because she was safe, a smart, educated family woman that wanted nothing more than to be a wife and stepmother to his children and incorporate families. However, he was not ready to give up being single, sleeping with multiple women, and not answering to anyone. Ladies, don’t accept blank checks;

elationship to

elationship?

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omance, is it temporary?

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make sure what you put out you get in return. Honesty, Consistency, and Compassion are priceless. 19

I-Female Magazine

November Is a Time for Awareness of Men’s Health Issues

BY: Dave Banks

In recognition of the unofficial Prostate and Testicular Cancer Awareness month, many men will be growing mustaches to raise awareness. The movement, known as Movember, spurs supporters to sprout soup strainers during this month to “change the face of men’s health” and raise awareness of testicular and prostate cancers. But it’s not just about the lip warmers. Movember also looks to raise money for research, education, and outreach. The movement has raised nearly $300 million so far and more than $125 million last year alone. Like the fight against breast cancer, both women and men are both encouraged to channel their inner Ron Swanson and get involved. Also onboard to help the rest of your face stay looking good through turkey carving is Gillette, which has launched a Facebook app that will create a time lapse video of the spread of your ‘stache over the coming days and weeks. Best of all, for each photo uploaded, Gillette will donate a dollar (up to $50,000) to the Zero Project to end prostate cancer. One in six men end up being affected by prostate cancer and is the second leading cause of cancer death in the US. Testicular cancer is less common, affecting about 1 in 270, but the good news is that both prostate and testicular cancers are very curable if caught early. Symptoms aren’t always obvious, so ask at your next annual physical.

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I-Female Magazine

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