I C E N I N O R F O L K
ISSUE 103
Focus On: Friendship
Best Of Norfolk
Through The Lens Of Our Readers
Are Facebook Friends Really Friends?
Should Your Staff Also Be Your Friends?
People, Friendship And Kindness Make The World Go Around
Welcome To Iceni Magazine, “Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It’s not something you learn in school. But if you haven’t learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven’t learned anything.” – Muhammad Ali Welcome to Issue 103 of Iceni Magazine! This month, we focus on Friendship.
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Tom and Becca, from See What Mummy Says, share their story about changing friendships after having had children (Pages 36 and 37). Many of you will resonate with their words, we are sure. Vicki and Bethany’s friendship was formed through adversity, and you can read all about what happened on pages 40 and 41. Elsewhere in this issue, the National Garden Scheme reflects on a record-breaking year with 2021 being a huge success despite big changes (Page 9). Susan Leigh shares suggestions of how you can take a leaf out of Monty Python’s book and look on the bright side of life, in turn, boosting many aspects of your life (Pages 12 and 13). Finally, have you ever considered how you can use crystals to help you to manifest things within your life? Nova Silver offer some suggestions on Page 20. Enjoy Issue 103, and we look forward to seeing you in December with plenty of glitter, festive music and even more excitement. Until then, stay safe!
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CONTRIBUTORS Becca Hamling, Jill Roberson, Keri Beevis, Matt Porter, Nade Ward, Patrick Arundell, Serena Fordham, Susan Leigh, Thomas Hamling, Tim Barnes-Clay, Vicki Lowes, Yellow Mysteries Entertainment.
Page 3 Image Benjamen Terry - www.definedetail.com
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Contents 46
pages
Full of absolute dynamic
creative content!
28
12
DO YOU ALWAYS...
FUN THINGS TO DO IN EAST ANGLIA…
Look On The Bright Side?
If You Don’t Like Beer!
40
09 14
A SUCCESSFUL 2021
For Norfolk National Garden Scheme
06
The Benjamin Foundation Monthly Update
09
Iceni News A Successful 2021...
11
“You Reap What You Sow”
Iceni Columnist Keri Beevis
12
Do You Always Look... On The Bright Side?
14
Motoring Review BMW 3 Series M340d
16
Is It Now Or Never? The COP 26 Conference...
18
The GadgetMan Review HTC Vive Flow
20
Nova Silver Manifesting With Crystals
21
Best Of Norfolk Readers Images
27
Focus On: Friendship
28
How To Be A Great Friend A Strong Friendship Can...
31
Should Your Staff... Also Be Your Friends?
34
People, Friendship And Kindness Make The World...
FRIENDSHIPS FORMED... Through Adversity
36
See What Mummy Says Friendships After You Have...
38
Are Facebook Friends... Really Friends?
40
Friendships Formed... Through Adversity
42
Iceni Asks... What Do You Value Most...
43
Just For Fun 'Death Is Dammed'
44
Iceni Horoscopes What Do Your Stars Hold?
THE BENJAMIN FOUNDATION
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Issue 103 2021
The Benjamin Foundation For over 25 years, children, young people and families across Norfolk and Suffolk have been supported by The Benjamin Foundation to overcome big challenges in their lives. Each night, we accommodate 100 vulnerable young people, equating to over 40,000 safe nights sleep a year for local young people. They can finally feel safe from youth homelessness. Each week, 150 young people access our emotional wellbeing support improving their mental health, increasing their self-esteem and to finally feel understood. Each year, over 250 young people attend our youth work in the community to gain new life skills, expand their horizons and finally feel confident. Overall, 2,000 local children and young people every year finally feel hopeful of a better future because of the work of The Benjamin Foundation.
Sleep Out Returns For 2021
2021 sees the return of Norwich Sleep Out hosted by The Benjamin Foundation and held at Norwich City Football Club on Thursday 11th November. Sleep Out challenges people to spend one night sleeping outside so young people don’t have to, and has raised over £240,000 to support our charity’s work since our first Sleep Out event in 2015.
With an estimated 121,000 young people facing homelessness in the UK last year (source: Centrepoint), we help more local vulnerable young people into successful, independent living by providing a safe home and support to learn essential life skills, such as cooking and budgeting, as well as supporting their education and career aspirations while building their resilience and self-esteem. This vital work gives young people stability, new opportunities and prevents the street homelessness problem from growing.
Courtney is age 19 and is a young person living at one of our accommodation centres in Norfolk. Having lived there for two years, she is now thriving and has ambitions to live independently and work in childcare.
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THE BENJAMIN FOUNDATION Issue 103 2021
“I was very much a timid girl, very shy. Being able to bloom here is great,” Courtney explains.
“My life would be completely different if I hadn’t come here [The Benjamin Foundation] and got the support in this environment. They have really helped me to be who I am today and helped me to get where I am. The support they have given me has been amazing.”
With the fallout of Covid pandemic having a particular impact on young people, both financially and emotionally, we are passionate about being able to give more local young people like Courtney the right help at the right time.
“Money raised at Sleep Out enables us to do even more to help young people when they need us the most, supporting them to create the building blocks to successful, independent living. We are proud of the impact this has on local young lives.” Sleep Out Event Manager, Jessica Glover explains. Although the events couldn’t take place in 2020 due to the pandemic, over 250 people took part in Sleep Out 2019, raising a total of £100,000 – a record-breaking amount for our charity.
We are proud to be the eastern region partner of the End Youth Homelessness (EYH) partnership. EYH member charities around the UK organise Sleep Out events every November to help support young people to lead successful, independent lives.
Jessica continues: “We are thrilled to bring our Norwich and Ipswich Sleep Out events back for 2021 in a Covid-safe way and we are grateful for the support of our exciting host venues Norwich City and Ipswich Town Football Clubs. We are now calling on local people and businesses to get behind Sleep Out 2021 to make this our most successful year ever in order to help more local young people to finally feel hopeful of a better future.” Could you spend one night outside so a young person doesn’t have to? Book your place today to make Norwich Sleep Out 2021 the best yet:
Norwich Sleep Out: Thursday 11th November – Norwich City Football Club: https://benjaminfoundation.co.uk/event/norwich-sleep-out-2021/
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ICENI - NEWS
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Issue 103 2021
A Successful 2021 For Norfolk National Garden Scheme
As the clocks go back to denote the end of British Summer Time, it is also time to close the garden gates to the public for the last time until next year. During 2021, 69 garden owners supported the Norfolk National Garden Scheme and their charities, by welcoming over 17,000 visitors to their gardens. Taking into account admission fees, refreshments and plant sales, the garden openings have generated an income of almost £115,000. This is a 6% increase on pre-pandemic 2019, which is an astounding result, considering the restrictions placed on visitor numbers and refreshments. Norfolk County Organiser, Julia Stafford Allen said, “Without the hard work and generosity of our garden owners and the enthusiasm of visitors, it would not be possible to have
achieved such a great result, and we wish to send a huge thank you to them for their tremendous effort and generosity. Our gardens have not only raised funds for the nursing and health charities we support, but they have also been a beautiful space for people to go to in these challenging times.” In addition to open days, many garden owners also offer their gardens for groups on a by arrangement basis, and will accept visitors for a more personalised visit, at a pre-agreed date. Groups can be a formal society or organisation, or could just be a group of friends or family who wish to visit on a more personal basis. Bookings for ‘by arrangement’ dates are open now for next year. You can book directly with the owner, and can find their details by searching for ‘by arrangement’ gardens in Norfolk at www.ngs.org.uk. PAGE
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ICENI - COLUMNISTS
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Issue 103 2021
My New Book, The People Next Door After setting my first three books in the US, I was excited to bring things closer to home, and the lovely county of Norfolk has since played a big part in my novels. One of my favourite things when starting a new book Above: Keri Beevis is visiting the areas where I will be setting my stories. They say write what you know, and I have certainly been doing that. Although I grew up in the area, I still like to reacquaint myself with the towns and villages featured, to help me really bring them to life. The North Norfolk Coast featured heavily in my first Norfolk novel, Dying To Tell, and I spent a warm and very memorable day there with two good friends, as I plotted out the story, visualising key scenes. I have such fond memories of this area and I loved the rush of childhood memories as I visited Burnham Overy Staithe, Holkham and Cromer. My second Norfolk book was Trust No One, which played a little closer to home, as I used various locations around the city of Norwich, including my favourite suburb, Thorpe St Andrew and lovely River Green, as well as Salhouse, which I remember most fondly as I used to go horse riding there when I was in my early teens. Every Little Breath came next. I visited Mundesley in this book, as well as Coltishall, another childhood favourite. I remember when my grandparents used to visit, we would often head to Coltishall Hall for Sunday lunch where my most memorable moment is also one of my mother’s most embarrassing. My sister was only about four at the time and had taken herself off to use the toilet (which led straight off the main restaurant). All was fine until five minutes later when we heard the cry of ‘Mummy?’
The whole restaurant fell silent as everyone looked to the door of the ladies cloakroom. There stood my sister, Holly, knickers around her ankles, who then proceeded to shout across the restaurant. ‘Mummy! I’ve done jobbies. Can you come and wipe my bottom?’ For the briefest moment my mother pretended she hadn’t heard Holly, then my nan started prodding her to get up, and she had to do the walk of shame, while the whole restaurant dissolved into laughter. And so to my new book, which takes place entirely in the village of Corpusty, home to Norfolk’s best bonfire night. I enjoyed a little recce here with my mother and sister earlier in the year and hope I have managed to bring the area to life in my story. If you want to find out, The People Next Door is available in Kindle and paperback from 16th November and also audio from January 2022.
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DO YOU ALWAYS...
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Issue 103 2021
Do You Always Look On The Bright Side?
A recent UK survey has revealed that 87% of people have a positive, optimistic outlook on life whilst only 13% tend towards pessimism. It’s a heartening result, considering the long recent months of lockdowns and restrictions that we’ve been through.
They might have been through a divorce, redundancy, even a health warning, which provided the catalyst for changes that may well not have happened but for being forced upon them. It’s not uncommon to hear of people giving thanks for the difficult times in their lives, once they’ve settled into their new situation.
Those who are downbeat often claim that they look at life in a more pragmatic and realistic way. They adopt an, ‘if I expect the worst I’ll never be disappointed if things don’t work out’ approach to life. But the problem with that mindset is that it causes us to notice what’s uppermost in our thoughts. Consider if you’d decided to buy a red car. You’d immediately start to see the high number of red cars everywhere you went. When you’re aware of something, it’s on your mind, you’re attuned to it.
But when there’s no catalyst, it’s often tempting to opt for an easier life and stay where we are, even if we know we could do better, would prefer to be living a different life. The thought of initiating change and dealing with the consequences, as well as the prospect of things not working out can be enough to put any dreams on hold ‘for now’.
Being prepared for the worst means that you’re alert to the slightest blip or hint that something’s not going as hoped. But when you’re positive and upbeat, you’d probably not notice those signs or you’d simply breeze past, not allowing them to impact on your mood or plans. Also, have you noticed how often people eventually reflect on their tough times with some degree of gratitude and appreciation?
I recall a client saying with absolute seriousness that nothing good ever happened to her. She’d become so habituated to her gloomy mindset that she couldn’t entertain any other perception of life. A bit like the ‘red car’ outlook, she was missing out on the positives that were there; any smiles, compliments, everyday kindnesses had, for her, become invisible. So, how can we learn to adopt a more positive, glass half full approach to life, where we look on the bright side with more regularity?
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DO YOU ALWAYS...
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● Practising gratitude is an important first step, where we learn to count our blessings and appreciate the most basic of things that we perhaps have taken for granted. Waking up each day, having a roof over our heads, food in our cupboards, running water, heating and lighting are all things that a surprising number of people don’t have. Looking on the bright side is about being thankful for what we do have, as well as adding to the list and focusing on our blessings. ● Good self-care improves mindset and outlook. When you look after yourself, you feel better and are healthier. So, a good sleep routine, eating well, taking regular exercise, investing time, love and care in yourself reinforces an, ‘I’m worth it’ view of yourself and your role in life. ● Share with close family and friends if you’re feeling a little glum or low of mood. People who care about you will care about understanding how you’re feeling and want to help when you’re down. Help them to help you by asking for what you need. Let them help, rather than shrug off any support that’s offered. ● And doing things for others, maybe by volunteering, can help you to look on the bright side. Taking time to support others can be rewarding and often enables you to put your own worries and concerns into better perspective. There’s definitely satisfaction to be had from doing good deeds. ● Be lively, energetic and stimulate those feelgood endorphins. Dancing and listening to music is a good mood enhancer. Likewise,
Issue 103 2021
time in nature for a run, walk or bike ride can really elevate your mood. You could share the time with someone special and invest in your relationship or enjoy a little quiet ‘me time’ on your own. Why not have a healthy meal cooking in the oven so that when you come back you’re able to relax over a delicious dinner? ● Do things that you’re good at, especially if you’ve been through a tough time and your ability to look on the bright side has taken a bit of a battering. Reminding yourself of your skills and talents is a good way to feel better about yourself and improve your confidence levels. ● Whether it be at work or at home it’s important to spend time on a project or interest that you enjoy, doing something that gives you pleasure. Make time to invest in yourself, particularly if there have been lots of withdrawals of late and your reserves are much depleted. Be gentle with yourself if you find yourself feeling a little flat or low of mood. Sometimes hormones can factor or you may have been going through a tough time and haven’t the energy to look on the bright side for now. Be kind to yourself and remove yourself from your busy routine for a while, if you can. Do you have the option to nurture yourself, recharge your batteries with a weekend away, a spa visit, or even a leisurely bath and time with a good book? Find ways to cosset yourself and allow time for healing. Hopefully, you’ll soon be feeling better and looking on the bright side with enthusiasm.
Article By Susan Leigh Susan Leigh, South Manchester counsellor, hypnotherapist, relationship counsellor, writer & media contributor offers help with relationship issues, stress management, assertiveness and confidence. She works with individual clients, couples and provides corporate workshops and support. For more articles, information or to make contact please visit: http://www.lifestyletherapy.net PAGE
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MOTORING REVIEW
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Issue 103 2021
BMW 3 Series M340d xDrive Saloon Review
Follow motoring journalist, Tim Barnes-Clay on Instagram: @tbarnesclay and Twitter: @carwriteups. Since its launch back in the decade of space hoppers and flared trousers (the 1970s for those of you who don’t know what I’m on about), over 15 million 3 Series models have been sold. Many of the sales have happened here in Britain, but competitors like Audi’s A4 and Mercedes’ C-Class are constantly snapping at the 3 Series’ coattails. These motors keep BMW from resting on its laurels too much, which is good because it keeps the bimmer sharp. BMW’s 3 Series line-up entails a bunch of petrols and diesels – and the 330e hybrid. The engines can be massively powerful, and it’s the M340d xDrive I drove for this review.
The oil-burner costs over £53k and comes with a three-litre turbo unit. This powerplant produces 340PS, and with the help of a quick-shifting eight-speed auto gearbox, 0-62mph is realisable in 4.6 seconds. What’s more, the top speed is 155mph, which is brisk enough for most folk - especially in this country with our 70mph ceiling. Even though the M340d xDrive is propelled by diesel, the car’s cabin is as quiet as a church mouse. There’s hardly any vibration from the engine, either. Much of the sound-deadening can be attributed to well-sealed window surrounds, doubleglazing and a windscreen with acoustic glass.
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MOTORING REVIEW
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The M340d makes light work of the UK’s wellworn road surfaces. It skips across potholes and sticks to corners like gum to the sole of your shoe. Despite being known as a “compact” executive, the 3 Series is no small car. However, at the tiller, it feels lithe and light. The steering setup makes driving the vehicle effortless, and the switchgear is intuitive, making the saloon perfect for trips around town or longer commutes. There’s more room inside the BMW than you might imagine. It will seat five-up, although two adults in the rear will be more comfortable than three. This is due to the intruding transmission tunnel. While it’s a low-slung saloon to get into (perhaps too low for some), the back doors are large, and there’s a good serving of headroom. Of course, you will also get your family’s belongings in the 480-litre boot. The 3 Series has lots of side pockets in the load bay, too - and you can order luggage nets as an optional extra. Also, the BMW’s rear seats fold down if you want to load long or bulky items.
Issue 103 2021
As with most motors, the declared fuel economy statistics for the 3 Series differ depending on how sizeable the wheels and tyres are. But, as a rule, the bigger the wheels, the thirstier the car becomes. The M340d xDrive on test here returns up to 46.3mpg, and emissions are relatively low (considering the car’s performance) at 159g/km CO2. Finally, and perhaps most importantly, the BMW 3 Series attained the maximum five-star grade when tried and tested by Euro NCAP. It achieved a genuinely incredible 97 per cent score for adult occupant safety, with tallies of 87 per cent in both pedestrian and child safety. Fast Facts • Max speed: 155 mph • 0-62 mph: 4.6 secs • Combined mpg: 46.3 • Engine: 3.0-litre six-cylinder turbo diesel • Max. power (PS): 340 • CO2: 159 g/km • Price: £53,420 PAGE
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IS IT NOW OR NEVER?
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Issue 103 2021
Is It Now Or Never? The COP 26 conference will be well under way by the time you read this, and I wonder if any clear plans will come out of it. At this stage, it seems bickering has already begun as to who is already making the biggest commitments, actions etc, justifying why they shouldn’t be expected to make the changes that are going to be unpopular with their respective voters. As it is, according to Reuters, the developed nations of the world are already three years late in meeting the pledge to fund a scheme to financially support poorer countries tackle the effects of climate change, so what is the point of the conference? Any personal or business coach will tell you that you need to verbalise and ultimately write down
your goals, challenges, call them what you will. While they’re just in your head, they’re merely ideals, dreams, fancies. But once you’ve written them down, told others about them, they become tangible, and you are more likely to achieve them. From what I can see, one of the advantages of the event is that there will be fringe events. These will give those who are creating and researching practical ways to solve the many environmental challenges, an opportunity to put forward their ideas, get feedback and maybe find financial backing. If you have been listening to the 39 Ways to Save The Planet programmes (or podcast) on BBC Radio 4, or followed the publicity surrounding the Earth Prize and its participants, you’ll know that there are lots of people actively working
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IS IT NOW OR NEVER?
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Issue 103 2021
to come up with practical ways to deal with some of the environment and climate change’s trickiest problems. These rarely have an opportunity to access the wider spotlight, find finance to help research and develop both the products and that wider markets or practicalities. The issues we and our planet face are all interconnected, and it can be difficult to know where to start. Equally, the impacts and potential solutions will be different in different countries. Without a doubt, some dark politics are working in the background trying to manoeuvre and exploit opportunities for their own short-term gain. Unfortunately, that is only to be expected, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t bother ourselves. I recently had a brief conversation with a work colleague about why I bang on about ‘upping the eco’ in my life. He lives in an eco-home, as he described it (though I didn’t get all the detail), and didn’t feel there was much more that he could be doing. I do know that it’s not a full-blown eco Passiv Hus, but it seemed that having a property with some eco-measures has made him think that there is nothing else he can do.
Any personal or business coach will tell you, that you need to verbalise and ultimately write down your goals, challenges, call them what you will. While they’re just in your head they’re merely ideals, dreams, fancies.
He hadn’t considered the impact of buying takeaways/fast food, his choice of car, clothing, cleaning/laundry products let alone things like his bank account or pension fund. Individual actions can have an impact; if that wasn’t the case you wouldn’t have the big corporations and brands suddenly taking an interest in being seen to be eco - they don’t suddenly find a conscious, they look to where their markets can benefit from the greatest growth, but this takes time and that is something we are fast running out of. Whether we like it or not, so we make the sort of environmental progress needed, structural changes have to be made and governments need to set out the right frameworks for this. According to the leading environmental scientists, we really are getting into Now or Never territory to preserve our future on this planet. We need constructive action now, not just fancy words. Let’s hope the politicians don’t let us down. Article By Jill Roberson @EcoQueenLiving on Facebook and Instagram PAGE
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THE GADGETMAN
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Issue 103 2021
HTC Vive Flow - Virtual Reality That Puts Wellbeing At The Forefront As a person with a avid interest in technology, getting the chance to review a new piece of Virtual Reality kit was very exciting, so when I was invited to review the new HTC Vive Flow a week before their official launch on the October 14th, I jumped at the chance! So, on the morning of October 8th, I set off to Dingley Place in London to find out more. The preview event was hosted at a modern shoot location near to Old Street, and it presented as a modern apartment and outside space, which turned out to be an ideal place to experience this new tech.
controllers and connect to a reasonably powerful PC or dedicated console which does most of the legwork, with mainly immersive virtual reality action games. Not something you can readily carry around with you. With the launch on the Vive Flow, HTC have turned this whole idea on its head. Rather than focus on 3D action games, instead, HTC have positioned the device primarily in the mindfulness and wellbeing space, with lightweight 'glasses' that connect to your Android smartphone (which doubles up as the hand controller).
HTC now have been producing cutting edge ‘room scale’ virtual reality headsets since 2015 and have both consumer and professional solutions available in the marketplace.
The glasses themselves are very light, coming in at 180g which I was told was the weight of a bar of chocolate. The front of Vive Flow's lenses are mirrored with a camera hidden behind each lens for motion tracking and 'pass through' view.
Typically, VR headsets are quite large and cumbersome and work in conjunction hand
Rather than using a full wraparound design, the Flow fit like standard glasses with speakers built
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THE GADGETMAN
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into each arm. The goggles fit very comfortably over the eyes using a soft material; there is also an active cooling system which blows cool air onto your skin when it detects heat increasing. The Vive Flow uses a very advanced lens system which is one of the reasons why the device is so like, this also allows for diopter adjustment which means many glasses users will be able to use the device without wearing them. Each lens has a high-resolution display at 3.2k combined (2x 2.1” LCD 1600 x1600 per eye). The displays refresh at 75mhz and have a field of view of 100 degrees. Onboard storage is 4GB RAM + 64GB ROM. The glasses are designed to be powered via an adapter; they do contain a battery for management purposes rather than completely wirefree use. The tried 5 different modes of use. 1. Mindfulness and Chillout Area - I experienced the mindfulness side of this technology where I was transported to a beach someone exotic and watch the sunrise, whilst I was gently coached on my breathing and reached a really nice calm place! 2. Disney+ - Here I was able to experience the full cinematic version of the Disney+ streaming platform and had a chance to watch a segment of Free Guy starring Ryan Reynolds. The video
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quality was exceptional as was the surround sound. It was very impressive! 3. Pirates - This was a VR pirate game where I had to shoot cannonballs at pirate ships Lots of fun! 4. V&A Curious Alice - This was an interactive experience in conjunction with the Victoria and Albert Museum. It was really good fun again. You can find out more here. 5. Lo-Fi Cafe - I really liked this; it was an incredibly immersive and calming experience. I was sitting in a Cafe with a steaming coffee in front of me, music playing on a record player, an open book on the table and a laptop. There were empty tables which I was able to transport over to. I could also surf the internet in a VR browser. I could also draw and write in thin air. Most importantly, I found it really relaxing. Living in a house that can be very very noisy, I really felt I could actually take myself away from the hustle and bustle of life into that virtual cafe and watch the rain running down the window and just relax. What I realised more than anything was that VR has indeed reached a point where the brain can be fooled enough to be calmed into a sense of relaxation wherever you might be. In a workplace, busy home or even on a transatlantic flight. I was very, very impressed. The Vive Flow is priced at £499, which is no small amount of money, but comparable with other headsets on the market. More information can be found at: https://www. vive.com/uk/product/vive-flow/overview/ See you next month (if I'm not sitting in a Lo-Fi Virtual Cafe listening to Jazz!) See you next month, keep safe! Matt www.thegadgetman.org.uk
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NOVA SILVER
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Issue 103 2021
Nova Silver Manifesting With Crystals: Here at Nova Silver, we love being able to use our jewellery as more than the finishing piece to an outfit. Crystals are not only beautiful to look at, but many believe that they can be used as a powerful, energy fuelled tool in achieving your dreams and desires. When it comes to manifesting and wearing the crystal that best benefits them, many don’t know where to start – so we’ve written you a short beginner’s guide on what to do! Choosing your crystal: When selecting the crystal, your intention for manifestation is instrumental. Whether your focus is on generating abundance, getting lucky in love or brining in general good luck and success, there are more than a few crystals which would be perfect for you. Here are some that we recommend: Crystals for love: Rose Quartz, Rhodonite or Aventurine Crystals for abundance: Citrine, Pyrite or Moss Agate Crystals for luck & success: Tiger’s Eye, Malachite or Labradorite In any case, when selecting your crystal it is best to let your own intuition or ‘gut feeling’ lead the way. How to use your crystal: There are several methods to manifesting when using a crystal, and once again it is always wise to let intuition guide you. Some may utilise meditation and visualisation techniques; holding their chosen crystal to its associated Chakra point and dropping into a state of meditation, then one may envision their manifestations coming into their lives in great detail. On the other hand, others may choose to utilise their space by placing crystals in specific areas of their home or bedroom. For example, Citrine can be placed in the ‘Wealth Corner’ (the farthest left corner from your front door) to call in material abundance, alternatively, a piece of Rose Quartz may be placed in the ‘Relationship Corner’ of one’s home (the farthest right corner) to attract romance. However, the most straightforward method is to simply wear your piece of crystal jewellery, with intention in mind, and go about your day. The energy generated by the crystal itself will draw fourth that which you desire.
Contact Details:
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BEST OF NORFOLK Issue 103 2021
Best Of Norfolk - Through The Lens Of Our Readers Thanks to the wonderful photographs shared by our followers on Facebook, have a look at these marvellous October images of our stunning region.
Chris Elliott - Cromer
Mike Morcher - A Norfolk Sunset PAGE
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BEST OF NORFOLK
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Issue 103 2021 Sheila Denny - Sunset In Paston
Dawn Mountain - A Sunrise Stroll On Happisburgh Beach PAGE
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BEST OF NORFOLK Issue 103 2021
Laura Baxter - Dippy At Norwich Cathedral
Gav Jaynes - 30 Mins After Sunset At Sunny Hunny PAGE
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BEST OF NORFOLK
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Issue 103 2021 Sheila Denny - Garden In The Autumn Sun
Mike Morcher - Early Morning At Happisburgh Lighthouse PAGE
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Laura Baxter - Beach Hut Reflections Cromer
Issue 103 2021 Leigh Caudwell - Weybourne Station As Seen Through The Cab Windows Of A Class 31 Diesel Loco
Leigh Caudwell - Steam Loco ‘Black Prince’ Getting Ready At Weybourne For A Day Working The NNR Line
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Focus On: Friendship
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HOW TO BE A...
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Issue 103 2021
How To Be A Great Friend A strong friendship can be a superpower in your life. A friend can brighten up your day, help you to make better life choices and, above all, be there for you through thick and thin. That being said, once we have great people in our lives, we want to make sure that we are being a great friend to them, so here are some ways, and I guess the foundations, of what I believe are needed to be exactly that - an excellent friend! Build their confidence If you are a true friend, you will not find flaws in everything that a person does, in fact, you will do quite the opposite. You should be fuelling your friends to pursue their dreams, recognise their worth and understand the value that they bring to the table. When a friend achieves something, even if it is only small, be there to
congratulate them. If a friend approaches you with an idea that they have, do not blow their candle out, try and make it shine even brighter. When your friend is struggling, or feels like things aren’t going their way, remind them of the times that they have impressed you, or done something that really surprised you! When was the last time you told your friends that you’re proud of them? Provide them with a positive energy “Surround yourself with people that reflect who you want to be and how you want to feel, energies are contagious”. I love this quote, because it correctly portrays the idea that your friends are, in some way, a reflection of yourself. Nobody enjoys hanging around with negative people, and if you have encountered people like this in the past, you will know all too well that it is very hard to resist
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the urge to moan and become grumpy overtime. So, to be the type of person that your friends do want and need in their life, give off a positive vibe. Smile, speak with passion and enthusiasm, use positive words, give compliments, and live in the moment! Be honest with them First and foremost, honesty should always be constructive and given with good intent, but of course, honesty itself is incredibly important. As a friend, you are almost a filter that your circle can use to help separate the good from the bad, before making any serious mistakes. Trust, in turn, comes from continuously being honest with one another, which quickly creates powerful friendships where you believe in each other’s promises and commitments. Being a friend that helps other people make better life choices is priceless. Stop them before they do something foolish, help them to develop their ideas if you have ways to make them better, share your opinions and views on situations that they are facing, admit when you do not know what is best or have all the answers.
Listen to them Most of the time, friends just want to be heard. If you show your circle, however big or small, that you are genuinely interested in what they have to say, then there is no doubt that they will see you as a top friend. Pay attention, don’t interrupt them, ask questions, remember what they’ve said, maintain eye contact, follow up on things when it is needed, and just simply listen. Friendships are like a mirror, you attract the energy that you give off, so the better of a friend you are to somebody, the higher quality of friendship you will have. Article By Nade Ward, Co-founder of Socker Share www.sockershare.co.uk
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SHOULD YOUR STAFF...
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Should Your Staff Also Be Your Friends? There should be a big difference between our friends and the people with whom we’re friendly, but many of us struggle to make the distinction.
a relatively short space of time? Our friendship was primarily based on shared business considerations.
We may refer to everyone in our circle as friends, but all too often if we don’t see them or they fall off our radar we hardly notice or query their absence.
But what about those times when we manage and work closely with a team of people. We see them regularly, supervise their work. Should our staff also be our friends?
Co-workers and colleagues can fall into that category. How often does someone we once worked closely with leave the business and later return for a social visit, only for us to realise that we’ve nothing to talk about after
Few people enjoy confrontation or having to bring other people to order. But there are ways of managing a team without requiring you to choose between being popular and their friend or being viewed as heavy-handed. PAGE
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SHOULD YOUR STAFF...
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● Start as you mean to go on. Set the tone of your relationship with your staff from the outset. Yes, be friendly, respectful, empathic, but also remember that there’s a job to be done, targets to be reached and money to be earned. Be firm about time-keeping, regular lateness, lame excuses for unfinished pieces of work. Being supportive of individual circumstances is important, but if one person appears to be the constant favourite it can cause resentment amongst everyone else. ● Keep channels of communication open. Being micro-managed is often de-motivational. No one wants a boss who’s constantly looking over their shoulder, assessing and commenting on their work. That said, you need to be aware of what your staff are doing each day, where they’re up to in terms of work load and problem-solving. Be clear about when you’re available for staff to talk through issues and problems. For some managers, it’s when their office doors are open. ● Be aware of the dangers of over-sharing your personal stuff. As their manager, your staff are not there to advise or counsel you. Over-sharing can blur the lines of your
relationship and make it difficult if ever you need to discipline or have firm conversations with them. It’s good to share some personal information so that they’re able to relate to you as a person and know that you connect and empathise with them and their situations, but have a cut-off point, a limit on how far that goes. ● Have boundaries in place. Some managers like to go for social drinks with their staff, but leave after a couple of hours, putting some money behind the bar, so paying for the next few rounds of drinks. It lets staff know that they’re friendly and thoughtful, whilst also retaining a slightly detached presence. ● Have regular staff appraisals, so reinforcing your role as their manager. This allows for a two-way exchange about where your staff are regarding their competency and progression, how they feel about their role, plus those areas where you’d like them to focus and improve. ● Have regular staff meetings as a group, which you host and set the agenda, perhaps after conferring with staff. This enables the team dynamic to be assessed and improved. When staff feel comfortable and listened to you may find that they have great ideas and suggestions about improving existing practices. Encourage them to be loyal and invested in the business. ● If a staff member is uncooperative, perhaps begrudges you your role, maybe wanted it for themselves, it’s important to avoid taking their attitude personally. Worrying about it or trying to win them over only serves to exacerbate the problem and solves nothing. Set them tasks with deadlines and arrange regular meetings to check on their progress. Be fair, whilst treating everyone the same. ● Avoid using appeasatory or conciliatory tones to delegate work. No apologies! Instead, be more matter-of-fact, polite but
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managerial, as in, ‘this needs doing, would you be able to finish it by Wednesday, please?’ Then you can document the discussion and note the Wednesday deadline. ● Make any reluctance or inability to deliver the work their problem. Ask questions, as to what the problem is, why they’ve not delivered, what needs to happen to help them succeed. Depending on the size of your business there may be options to transfer an unruly staff member, offer retraining or even eventually involve Human Resources and a disciplinary procedure. ● Make sure that you practice good selfcare, especially during times of stress. Regular breaks improve work efficiency, by allowing you to mentally and physically detach, take a walk outside, some water, a piece of fruit and return feeling refreshed afterwards. A healthy diet, good exercise and sleeping plan, switching off each evening and allowing yourself a couple of hours to wind down before bed are all ways to ensure that you support a healthy mind and body. ● Don’t underestimate the importance of spending time with your real friends and family, having fun with the very special people in your life. Enjoying time relaxing, being
yourself, being carefree makes the long hours and personal investment in your business role worthwhile. Those relationships are often an important part of why you work so hard. And remember, management hired you for this role, so clearly believe in you. Any new role is a challenge. Relish the opportunity to scare yourself a little, learn new skills and grow. Finding constructive ways to interact with your team and run a harmonious customer-facing business can be a complex skill to learn, but it’s also an important step towards your future career progression.
Article By Susan Leigh Susan Leigh, Altrincham, Cheshire, South Manchester counsellor, hypnotherapist, relationship counsellor, writer & media contributor offers help with relationship issues, stress management, assertiveness and confidence. She works with individual clients, couples and provides corporate workshops and support. She's author of 3 books, 'Dealing with Stress, Managing its Impact', '101 Days of Inspiration #tipoftheday' and 'Dealing with Death, Coping with the Pain', all on Amazon. To order a copy or for more information, help and free articles visit: http://www.lifestyletherapy.net PAGE
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PEOPLE, FRIENDSHIP...
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Issue 103 2021
People, Friendship And Kindness Make The World Go Around We all need a good friend; it can be your partner, family members, work colleagues, neighbours, or maybe you’re still in-touch with your old school friends. It is great to have someone to talk to and be there for you through life’s ups and downs. I like a good quotation, so here’s one for you which I think is very true - “Friends are like stars; you don’t need to see them to know they are there”. Friends and their families can become an extended part of your family, with yours and their children growing up together as friends too. Good friends are vitally important to your mental health and to the quality of your life.
Friendship is an opportunity to love, to learn about yourself, to mature as a human being, and to open up to the full experience of life. You might not realise this, but friends bring more happiness into our lives than virtually anything else. Good friends help to relieve stress, provide comfort and joy, and prevent loneliness and isolation. Friendships are born in a million different ways, and all good friends strive to achieve the same goal: to be a source of love and support. Finding a true friend feels like a gift that keeps on giving. A good friend provides a listening ear in times of strife, a shoulder to cry on, or finding the best of a situation.
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I’ve mentioned that I like quotations and for me, quotes really help to demonstrate friendship, so, I thought I’d share a few more of my favourites: “A friend is one who overlooks your broken fence and admires the flowers in your garden”, “Try to be a rainbow in somebody’s cloud”, “There are friends, there is family and there are friends that become family” “Friendship is when people know all about you but like you anyway.” I actually find those quotes quite moving. And to reinforce the importance of friendships, a Swedish study found that, alongside physical activity, keeping a rich group of friends can add years to your life, who knew that? But close friendships don’t just happen. Many of us struggle to meet people and make connections outside our comfort zones. Whatever your age it’s never too late to make new friends, reconnect with old ones and greatly improve your social life, emotional health, and overall well-being. While making and keeping friendships takes time and effort, they can help improve your mood, help you reach your goals, reduce stress
and depression, give you support and improve your self-worth. Technology has changed the way we communicate with our friends and therefore the meaning of friendship in recent years. With the click of a button, we can add a friend or make a new one! But having hundreds of online friends is not the same as having a close friend. Online friends can’t hug you when a problem arises, visit you when you’re sick or celebrate with you, or just visit and have a coffee. So, try to connect with someone today, and make both of you the better for it - and connect with me on my social platforms to share the love too!
Article by Serena Fordham, Founder and MD of HER Business Revolution, Glow Virtual Assistants and Mums Empowerment Movement CIC. www.herbusinessrevolution.biz www.glowva.co.uk www.mumsempowermentmovement.co.uk
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SEE WHAT MUMMY SAYS
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Friendships After You Have Children… We’ve written about friendships before, but it certainly seems to be as true now as it always has been. Friendships develop as we get older and we all make decisions that affect how that friendship develops or if it develops at all. I’ve been in a close group of friends for a number of years now, and this friendship goes back to later part of high school into sixth form. There are different layers within the group and we all interact differently depending on who’s present but ultimately I could move myself around that larger group at an occasion and quite happily talk to everyone. I was one of the first in my group to have children and remain the only one to have children in my closer friendship circle. I believe that having children is one of the largest factors that separates long term friends and those that used to be friends that are now only present on social media. It became clear very
quickly who was interested and supportive and who wasn’t concerned with trying to squeeze a newborn baby into their plans. This is where my friendship group was great. We were all still young at the time and people in their mid twenties should want to go out for the evening and celebrate a birthday, often with lots of drinks. I would never try and deny them that of course, and to be honest I would’ve been happy with a simple invitation. If we couldn’t arrange childcare or didn’t want to be apart from our baby, then we could say no and the friends would understand. To our surprise, it appeared that a conscious decision had been made that such an occasion would now start with a meal so we could attend with our little one and feel like we were part of the evening before we would depart and others could continue long into the early hours. I know I speak for myself and Becca when I say how much we appreciated such a simple
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SEE WHAT MUMMY SAYS Issue 103 2021
gesture. This of course, wasn’t the same for all the circles of friends. Slowly they drifted away, invitations for nights out stopped and now barely an acknowledgement on social media remains. That can be pretty hard to swallow when you’ve known people for a long time. However, as hard as it is, its better to remember those that want to spend time with you, those that remember that you have extra responsibilities and those that respect that you have a family, and that ultimately that family will always come first. We all have friends that we don’t see for a while and then as soon as you’re in the same room it’s like you’ve seen each other everyday. There the ones to focus on and that deserve your time. Having children also brings with it lots of possibilities for new friendships with meeting people that have children of a similar age or with similar interests. I don’t hold any bad feelings towards friendships that have faded away. It’s all part of a journey that has seen me fall in love and have three children. It’s always worth remembering though, that we don’t know what happens in others day to day lives and that random text message asking how someone is or inviting them to something that you know they’ll say no to could be just what they need. Have your friendships changed since having children? We’d love to hear from you! Thank you for reading Tom & Becca www.seewhatmummysays.com @whatmummysaysuk
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ARE FACEBOOK FRIENDS...
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Issue 103 2021
Are Facebook Friends Really Friends? Do you use social media regularly? How many of the ‘friends’ you have on Facebook, for example, are genuine friends. Since the internet rose in popularity, the definition of the term ‘friend’ has perhaps morphed somewhat. I know I’m guilty of saying “my friend did x y and z” when I am talking about someone whose friend request I accepted, but I’ve never met them before in my life and probably wouldn’t recognise them in the street if they walked on by. According to the Cambridge Dictionary, the word friend can be defined as “a person who
you know well and who you like a lot, but who is usually not a member of your family”. Here’s a challenge for you... look through your list of friends on Facebook. How many of those do you actually know well? Looking through mine, I’d say around 1/3 of them fall into that category for me. And here’s the bigger challenge... how many of that proportion do you like a lot? Erm... no comment. Over the years, my friends’ list has built momentum. Setting up my own business has meant I have attracted ‘friends’ from within the industry. And while I will always be grateful for
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the support I have been offered, I wouldn’t say that I know them well or like them a lot. They are more acquaintances than friends, I suppose.
Issue 103 2021
There is nothing wrong with having a large friends list. However,
Becoming a parent changed the dynamics of my friends’ list on Facebook, too. Attending parent and child groups with my offspring thrust me into communicating with and tolerating a large number of people who I ordinarily wouldn’t have really spent much time with at all. As a result, I received numerous friend requests and, when you see these people every week, it would seem rude to decline them.
it is essential to mentally categorise people rather than assuming everyone is there for you, whatever happens.
I’ve posed many questions already, but hopefully, they will encourage you to reconsider how you classify people who are Facebook friends. Some may be lifelong friends, ones who were family friends or you made in primary school. Although you are also likely to have friends from that category who are no longer significant within your life. That is ok.
Think about your Facebook friends again and ask yourself this question. If you desperately needed help from someone, who could you rely upon for support and assistance? For example, imagine your car broke down and you needed a lift; who could you contact at 2am and ask for help? Of course, there will be friends who live further away, so don’t discount them if they are unable to do this.
There is nothing wrong with having a large friends list. However, it is essential to mentally categorise people rather than assuming everyone is there for you, whatever happens. In reality, a very small number of your ‘friends’ will actually be there come rain or shine, throughout the rollercoaster of your lives.
What about if your relationship broke down and you needed a shoulder to cry on? Who would be there for you without expecting anything in return? You may post something on Facebook and receive a few comments and inbox messages telling you that they are there for you. Is that honestly the case or are they simply interested in hearing the gossip? PAGE
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FRIENDSHIPS FORMED...
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Friendships Formed Through Adversity
Vicki and Bethany - enjoying a Mexican meal before a Take That concert
Bethany and Vicki waiting for the train
I’ve often discussed my complete molar pregnancy in 2010 and the heartache and pain that came with it.
for many, having to regurgitate time and time again what it is, what it means and why it happens.
However, I’ve probably neglected to mention one of the most positive things that resulted from this traumatic experience. I’m not going to discuss the pregnancy, the loss of hope, the chemotherapy, the subsequent rehabilitation… instead, I’m going to focus on the main friendship formed through this adversity.
So, when emotionally ready, along with another molar mummy, we created a Facebook page and almost instantly received messages from women and their friends and family members from across the world seeking support. In addition, we also shared stories of hope, and one of those belonged to a lovely lady who sent a photo of her five beautiful children and explained her story.
Following physical recovery from my choriocarcinoma, I set about making a difference in the lives of those affected by molar pregnancy, as well as raising awareness and educating everyone else. Diagnosis, when people haven’t heard of your illness, can be pretty challenging
I was the admin who read the message and spotted that the location said the town nearest to my village. I also recognised the surname as the same as a child I was supposed to teach. We instantly engaged in conversation, and it turned out it was her eldest I was meant to have in my
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class and we attended the same Zumba classes. So we arranged to meet when she returned to exercise after the birth of her youngest.
Bethany and Vicki outdoor zumba during the Covid-19 pandemic
Our friendship was instant. We had a shared experience, though very different, and that immediately connected us. From our love of Zumba to ’90s music, although we both had horrifically traumatic molar pregnancies, so much more was shared. In the eight years that we have been friends, we have shared countless ups and downs within each other’s lives. It’s fantastic to know that someone unequivocally has your back and vice versa, that someone understands your pain when you can’t put into words how you are feeling, when you are struggling to cope with what life has thrown at you yet again. But it’s also amazing to have someone with whom you attend gigs (all over the country), with whom you end up laughing so much that your tummy and jaw hurt, with whom you know you won’t be judged (although if you are, it’s in your best interests!).
Friendship can be a funny old thing. We have friends from childhood, friends from work, friends from parent groups… but friends formed through adversity is a category that I never expected to have on my list. Eternally grateful, lucky and blessed, whenever I am feeling low (because grief isn’t something that ever entirely goes away and it can rear its head at any given moment completely unexpectedly), I remember that positives came from that period in my life and this friendship is the main one. Vicki, Tom from Shed Seven and Bethany
Article by Vicki Lowes PAGE
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ICENI ASKS
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Issue 103 2021
“What do you value most about friendship?” “Knowing that someone will be there unconditionally for me is the most important part of friendship for me, having been through so much in such a short space of time.” Jenny
“I get a decent bit of advice every now and then, and given the mistakes I’ve made over the years, I definitely need it.” Gary
“Laughter... if you can’t laugh with your friends, and I mean proper belly laughs, where your jaws are aching, but you don’t want the feeling to stop, then it’s not a true friendship in my opinion.” Gail
“For me, I value that we can see each other sporadically (thanks Covid!), yet we can reconnect like we’ve never been apart. We know each other inside out - there are no secrets!” Pat
“Kindness. I’ve been ill recently, and my best mate checked on me regularly. Even just a WhatsApp message is appreciated, but the JustEat voucher was amazingly kind - so grateful!” Peter
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JUST FOR FUN Issue 103 2021
Think you know the answer? Let us know via our Facebook page and we will reveal the answer at the end of the month. PAGE
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ICENI - HOROSCOPES
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Issue 103 2021
Horoscopes For November Aries 21 March - 20 April
Gemini 22 May - 21 June
Taurus 21 April - 21 May
Cancer 22 June - 23 July
This looks to be an empowering month, when you’ll enjoy pouring your energy into ideas and projects, especially if they can make you money. November 4th could be a game-changer due to the New Moon. It’s time to embrace a new beginning without being too impulsive. But from week three far horizons beckon, and the idea of travel and fresh adventures may be too much to resist. And Venus in Capricorn might encourage you to connect with the movers and shakers, Aries. You’ll find relationships to be intense, and the coming weeks are excellent for ringing in changes that could set things on a new and better path. It’s important not to overreact around the 4th. Aim to make changes gently and sensitively. November 19th can also highlight key bonds, and inspire you to show your appreciation for those in your life. Still, with Venus in Capricorn, you’ll be keen to embrace fresh ideas and opportunities, as well as eagerly exploring money-making ideas.
You’ll be ready to dive into your work with relish, and will have the stamina to accomplish big things. And while the Scorpio New Moon in week one can inspire you to make changes to your job or lifestyle, have a strategy. Don’t make a leap and hope for the best. Use the coming weeks to ponder wise decisions. Your social life could heat up from week three, with plenty of opportunities for networking and making new friends. And there is a promise of love adventures. Ready to kick back and enjoy life? The emphasis on your leisure zone, encourages you to make time for hobbies, outings and romance. And the more the merrier, Cancer. Something you begin around the 4th, could lead to some very exciting developments. Whether it’s a new activity or a relationship, it might take you in a fresh and unplanned direction. From the 21st, it’s time to embrace fresh opportunities that may take you along new paths and increase productivity.
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ICENI - HOROSCOPES
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Issue 103 2021
Leo 24 July - 23 August
Sagittarius 23 November - 21 December
Virgo 24 August - 23 September
Capricorn 22 December - 20 January
Libra 24 September - 23 October
Aquarius 21 January - 19 February
Scorpio 24 October - 22 November
Pisces 20 February - 20 March
It looks like you’ll be busy getting your home sorted, and making plans for the holiday season. This might include resourceful ways to cut expenses. If you feel like doing some decluttering and selling of unwanted items, this is the time to go for it. Something may be worth more than you thought. The Full Moon on the 19th puts you in the spotlight. Take advantage of this to promote your ideas. You could find it hard to resist the call of the wild, as new adventures beckon.
This month is perfect for sorting out admin, especially those areas where things have got out of control. The focused energy of Mars and Mercury in Scorpio, can see you powering through and getting huge amounts done. A deal could be struck on the 4th, but for best results, don’t be in too much of a hurry. From week three, home and family affairs move higher up the agenda. You may have some exciting plans on the boil, and the coming weeks might see you celebrating, Virgo.
Time for a money makeover, Libra? A potent mix of energies concentrated on your money zone, are perfect for creating positive change and being more resourceful. If you can resist the urge to splurge on the 4th, and use the New Moon to initiate good financial habits, you’ll gain. But you also have a lot of opportunities, and connecting with kindred spirits could see you closing deals and opening doors. Ready to learn something new? This is the time to go for it.
This is the month to make your mark on the world, and share your excitement around what’s important to you. The New Moon in your sign on November 4th, is the big one that can catapult you to new levels. Don’t be rushed into doing anything, just take your time and good things will start to happen. Finances get a boost too, and you’ll be ready to explore new ways to make money and enhance your earning power. Need to be more charming? Venus in Capricorn can help you.
You’ll tap into your inner strengths, and this will help you gain victory over any issues. You have warrior power, and it can assist you with letting go of the old and embracing the new. The New Moon in week one can be useful here, inspiring you to talk to anyone who can walk you through the process of releasing whatever no longer works. The Sun’s move into your sign on the 21st, means you’ll be ready to shine. Your energy and confidence will dazzle everyone.
You’ll be keen to link up with those who have influence, making this a rewarding time when you can swap ideas. But it’s an opportunity for fun too, and you’ll be ready to unwind. An offer around the 4th could be perfect for you, if you don’t try to force things. This is also the month to tap into your full potential and live more fully. With sweet Venus in your sign, others may be very drawn to you, and if you’re ready for romance, who knows what might happen, Capricorn.
You’ll be on top of the world, with a major focus on a high-flying zone giving you a push to achieve great things. The New Moon on the 4th, could see you grasping an opportunity that takes you to the top. Don’t let distractions sway you from your course. From week three you’ll be on a roll, as your social life ramps-up. With the holiday season approaching, you may have events to attend and arrangements to make, but it’s the people you meet who can make life so delightful.
If you’re going to be travelling or are keen to study, the coming weeks look very promising. A high-powered New Moon on the 4th, is one of the better times for taking the plunge and diving into new experiences. Want things to change? Avoid shortcuts, and take the longer route. As the Sun glides into Sagittarius from the 21st, you’ll be in the spotlight, so use this opportunity to showcase your skills and talents. And with Venus in Capricorn, your social life looks perky too.
Astrologer Patrick Arundell provides a unique take on Horoscopes and Astrology. Join him daily for your Daily Horoscope and his penetrating insight into this fascinating subject. Also FREE Horoscope Videos. PAGE
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