Iceni Magazine Norfolk Issue 127 by Iceni Magazine

I C E N I N O R F O L K

ISSUE 127

Focus On: Parenting

Quiz:

What’s Your Parenting Approach?

Citroen eC4 Sense Review

The Dangers Of...

Over-Confidence At Work

How Are Your Children Sleeping? For Many Of Us...

Welcome To Iceni Magazine, “Trying to be a perfect parent is a recipe for disaster. It will lead to guilt and shame, which will impact your relationship with your child negatively. We can reflect and improve, but we also need to relax and enjoy our parenting journey.” Dr. Lucy Russell

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This month, we focus on Parenting and within that section, we bring you two brand new columnists, who we know will offer you some stimulating reading material. First up is GP and creator of AuthenticallYou, Sarah Sykes, who this month discusses how you can follow the BSLM’s six pillars of health on your parenting adventures (Pages 35 - 37).

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Secondly, we welcome AIi Marlow, a Slimming World consultant who juggles work and life - this issue, she shares how Slimming Work works for her family and the experiences of two of her group’s members (Pages 38 and 39). We also have a fun quiz to determine your parenting style on Pages 31 to 33 – are you surprised at your result? With Christmas (sorry!) just around the corner, you may be considering the gift of jewellery for some special people in your lives - Nova Silver have some beautiful offerings (Page 18). Finally, be sure to head to Pages 44 to 46 and check out the Wellbeing Socials in your local area. Be sure to dig out your hats, scarfs and thick coats as a chill has certainly clung to the air now. Wrap up warm and we will see you in December for Issue 128. Take care!

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CONTRIBUTORS Ali, Charlie, Dr Sarah Sykes, Keri Beevis, Nova Silver, Susan Leigh, Tim Barnes-Clay, Trevor Langley, Vicki Jeffery.

Front Cover Image Photo by Leeloo Thefirst

Disclaimer

Copyright © Iceni Magazine Limited. All rights reserved. No articles, adverts, content or design in this magazine may be used or reproduced either in whole or part, online or in print. The views and advice from contributors are not necessarily those of Iceni Magazine Limited. Every effort is made to ensure the contents are accurate, however Iceni Magazine Limited can not assume responsibility for errors, omissions or incorrect information. Iceni Magazine Limited accepts no liability for loss, damage or difficulties resulting from contracts between The Client and their customer. Inclusion within the magazine does not imply a recommendation.

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Contents 48

pages

Full of absolute dynamic

creative content!

“You Reap What You Sow”

HOW ARE YOUR CHILDREN SLEEPING? For Many Of Us, The Two Years Of Lockdown...

Quiz:

What’s Your Parenting Approach?

38 SLIMMING WORLD:

The Dangers Of... Over-Confidence At Work

Nova Silver Christmas Is Almost Here!

What’s On Our Picks

Iceni Columnist Keri Beevis

Best Of Norfolk Readers Images

Coastal Path Walks Come And Join Us

Focus On: Parenting

Fun-Filled Evening... Planned

How Are Your... Children Sleeping?

Wellbeing Socials Community Socials November

Quiz: Parenting Approach

Afternoon Tea Socials As Winter Approaches...

Perfect For Parents

ICENI ANAGRAMS Can You Solve All Five?

Motoring Review Citroen eC4 Sense

Dining At Darleys As With Many Counties...

How Do You Feel... About Feedback?

Healthy Parenting Parenting Is One Of The...

Wellbeing Socials Wellbeing Walks

Cleaning Your... Beauty Blender

Slimming World: Perfect For Parents

Iceni Anagrams... Solve All Five To Win

THE DANGERS OF...

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Issue 127 2023

The Dangers Of OverConfidence At Work When we’re looking to make an important purchase or business decision, confidence can be a source of reassurance. To have someone on hand who’s confident and knowledgeable enough to advise us, who’s able to demonstrate an understanding of our requirements and deliver a clear insight about what we’re looking for, someone who’s able to explain and communicate well and who comes across as informed. It’s a relief to have our decisions confirmed by someone who’s authoritative and positive about their answers to our questions. A person who appears highly confident is in a position to inspire trust in others, so ensuring there’s a good feeling about following their lead. But the downside may be that this strong persona dissuades others involved in the process from thinking for themselves and becoming more engaged, even when they have valid questions about what’s being said or are doubtful of its veracity. This can occur when the other person is especially forceful or is firmly

opinionated and committed to their views. Someone who is extremely confident and self-assured may even be oblivious to other people’s suggestions, feedback and input, and, in a work environment, this could ultimately result in co-workers becoming disinterested and demotivated. They may become afraid to speak up out of concern that they’ll look foolish, fear that they have nothing of value to contribute, or even find themselves feeling unsure about topics that they’re usually confident about, that they’re familiar and experienced in. Errors may be overlooked or mistakes minimised when someone’s over-confident and blasé. They may even be disinclined to proof read or check over their work; there’s no need, they’re so confident that it will be correct! They may even tread roughshod over the initial work brief, so convinced are they that they know far better than the client what’s wanted. This behaviour could succeed in disrespecting and perhaps even losing clients, whilst also disillusioning other staff members, causing them to feel there’s no point in engaging or

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THE DANGERS OF...

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working on ideas, innovations or solutions. Why bother when no one’s prepared to listen or appear interested if they speak out or attempt to get involved. This can eventually result in a 9-5 approach to work, almost a work-to-rule, quiet quitting mindset, where staff do just enough of what’s required to get through each day. An over-confident colleague can cause a convivial, co-operative work environment to become competitive and less friendly, where everyone becomes cautious and guarded, perhaps even appearing rude or abrasive. The work atmosphere can turn into one filled with suspicion as tensions increase, with others even questioning if their ideas or suggestions will be stolen and claimed by someone else. Someone who’s over confident can appear arrogant and unapproachable. This discourages a sharing, close connection with others, in both personal and work-related relationships. It’s a detached and unfriendly way to interact, which often results in others stepping back to protect themselves and their space, so careful are they to avoid being hurt or offended by things that are said or done. However, the confidence that often inspires others is the calm, easy awareness that comes from someone who really knows ‘their stuff’, but doesn’t need to shout about it. There’s a relaxed energy which comes from someone who’s comfortable and familiar with what’s happening, with what’s needed, who is clear about which next steps to take and knows they

Issue 127 2023

can cope efficiently with any mishaps or if things don’t go to plan. A positive, supportive environment doesn’t require points to be scored or for someone to have to continually prove that they’re better than others. There’s a pleasure in sharing knowledge, in teaching and training others to be good whilst all ‘winning’ together. Equally, ‘good’, positive levels of confidence can be evidenced when someone volunteers that they don’t feel they’ve the relevant skills to satisfactorily perform a task or perhaps need a little more training. Or when they admit that they don’t feel they’re the right person for the job and intend to pass it on to someone else, maybe making a referral to a third party. Or even when they admit to having made a mistake, which they’re committed to putting right. Those actions demonstrate honesty and integrity and may even succeed in establishing better relationships with customers, becoming the ‘go to guy’ and point for referrals when something’s needed in their specific sector. Others can relax when they know that they can trust the other person to do the right thing. They can feel safe being in their hands. It’s possible to be both humble and confident at the same time, at ease in your own abilities, expertise and reputation. And how much more attractive is it when other people make a recommendation and sing your praises. It’s far more plausible and convincing. Why not let someone else be confident on your behalf?

Article By Susan Leigh Susan Leigh, South Manchester counsellor, hypnotherapist, relationship counsellor, writer & media contributor offers help with relationship issues, stress management, assertiveness and confidence. She works with individual clients, couples and provides corporate workshops and support. For more articles, information or to make contact please visit: http://www.lifestyletherapy.net Twitter: @icenimagazine

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ICENI - COLUMNISTS

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Issue 127 2023

Laser Surgery One of the best decisions I ever made was to have laser surgery. I was born short sighted, relying on glasses for all of my childhood, and they just don’t suit me. It probably didn’t help that my mother Above: Keri Beevis used to choose the frames and her taste in glasses is questionable, but even when I reached my teens and could pick my own, it was not much better. Some people are chic and sophisticated in their eyewear, but not me. I looked like Dame Edna Everage. By my late teens, vanity hit, and I used to wander around blind rather than put them on, unable to see more than a few yards ahead. Eventually I accepted I needed them, but still they were an inconvenience, steaming up when I opened the oven or walked into a warm pub on a cold night, and don’t get me started on falling asleep on the sofa then waking up with them halfway down my face, one arm poking in my ear. So in my early thirties I decided to have laser surgery, researching carefully (big mistake, as I came across horror stories of burning eyeballs and naysayers trying to put me off), then going through what was a relatively simple pain free procedure, and it was amazing. Suddenly I could see the leaves on the trees and read car number plates with my own eyes. I was like Alice in Wonderland. Of course not everything lasts forever and I am lucky to have had 18 years of near perfect vision, but a recent visit to my optician told me I now need glasses for driving and also for reading. This time I took one of my more stylish friends with me to help me pick my new specs and I have to say I am happy with my choice. So much so, that when I recorded an author video for my publisher I decided to wear them to make me look, you know, more author-ish.

Now, making author videos are something of an ordeal for me since going through the menopause. Not only are there hot flushes to contend with, (I had a fan on hand between takes) and watery eyes that had required continual blotting, but I have the memory of a goldfish. So I was dead proud when, on my 84th attempt, I managed not to fluff the words I had spent all day learning. Yay, I had done it. My video was complete. I could finally send it off to my publisher. Well, that’s what I thought until I watched it back and realised I had made a big mistake. We are encouraged to use ring lights when making videos to give them a more professional look, but I hadn’t considered the impact of this while wearing glasses. Instead of looking posh and intelligent, two glowing halos of light were reflecting back at me where my eyes were supposed to be. GRRR! Take 85. My brand new thriller, The Boat House, which is set in Wroxham, is out now. Available in paperback, hardback, audio and kindle. Follow me on Facebook or Twitter for more information.

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MOTORING REVIEW

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Issue 127 2023

Citroen eC4 Sense Review

The eC4 is a crossover that combines a coupe’s sleek lines with a hatchback’s practicality and adds a dash of Citroen’s trademark quirkiness. But is it any good to drive, and does it make sense as an electric car? Let’s find out. The eC4 is powered by a single electric motor that produces 136PS and 300Nm of torque, which propels the front wheels through a singlespeed automatic gearbox. Its battery has a capacity of 50kWh, which gives the car a claimed range of 219 miles, while charging the battery from 0 to 100% takes around 7.5 hours on a 7.4kW home wallbox or

30 minutes for a 0 to 80% top-up on a 100kW rapid charger. A burst of torque from the electric motor delivers instant acceleration, making the French vehicle feel nippy around town. There are three driving modes to choose from: Eco, Normal and Sport, with Eco limiting the power output and maximising the regenerative braking, which helps to extend the range. Normal mode balances performance and efficiency and Sport sharpens the throttle response and steering. The suspension system is one of the highlights of the eC4, as it features Citroen’s Progressive Hydraulic Cushions technology. This means

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that hydraulic bump stops at each end of the suspension travel absorb shocks and vibrations from uneven roads. The result is a very comfortable ride quality, especially on rough surfaces, making the eC4 feel smooth and refined. On the inside, the eC4 is spacious, with a minimalist dashboard and a digital instrument cluster, which looks stylish if a bit plasticky in places. There is plenty of headroom and legroom for front and rear passengers. The boot space is decent, too, offering 380 litres of room with the rear seats up and 1,250 litres folded down in a 60/40 split. The infotainment system is easy to use, with clear graphics and intuitive menus. The only downside is that some of the settings are buried in submenus, which can be distracting while driving.

Issue 127 2023

The eC4 is an economical car to run, as it has zero emissions and low running costs. Citroen says you should be able to do 219 miles on a full charge but, as with nearly all-electric cars, expect less than this in practice. However, the eC4 could be more engaging to drive, and it faces stiff competition from rivals such as the Hyundai Kona Electric, the Kia e-Niro and the Volkswagen ID.3. But, if you’re looking for an electric car that’s different from the rest, the eC4 is certainly worth a gander. Fast Facts - Citroen eC4 [Sense trim, 50kWh] as tested: • Max speed: 93mph • 0-62 mph: 10.0secs • Range: 219 miles • Motor layout: Single electric front-wheel drive • Max. power (PS): 136 • CO2: 0g/km • Price: £31,995

motor

with

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DINING AT DARLEYS

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Issue 127 2023

Dining At Darleys As with many c o u n t i e s , throughout the UK, Derbyshire certainly has its fair share of popular eateries that include country inns to restaurants. The city of Derby attracts visitors constantly, each year. Many, who visit Derby, along with residents and locals, take pleasure in the attractions of Derbyshire too, exploring the countryside and admiring the spectacular scenery. From caves and caverns, through dales and hills, rivers and streams, plus very interesting history, throughout the county, there is a lot to see and do. When it comes towards the time for nourishment, places to drink and dine are numerous.

I located multi award-winning Darleys restaurant, which had been recommended to me, just outside the city of Derby. Darleys has continued its success over many years, with a good number of diners being ‘regulars’ from the outset - always a good sign. Following a complimentary Chef’s House Snack and also Warm Caraway & Rye Sourdough with cultured butter, to commence my dining visit I chose Jerusalem Artichoke (truffle, compressed apple, nutmeg, extra virgin). I found this starter to be well presented. Tasty and with good flavours, it made an excellent start to the meal. Main courses offer a splendid selection of dishes, including Grass-fed Rump of Beef, Pork Collar, plus Stuffed Chicken choices and more. I selected Cornish Hake (leek emulsion, kohlrabi noodles, tonkotsu, tapioca, coastal herbs). This dish arrived with ‘photo opportunity’

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DINING AT DARLEYS Issue 127 2023

presentation. Complementing flavours were in abundance and ‘Compliments to Chef’, were awarded - absolutely! Head Chef, Chris Higham, ensures the ‘magic’, with a great team. Desserts have enticing selections and I opted for Chocolate Cremeux (frangelico, whey fudge, beetroot sherbet, malt feuilletine). A perfect ending (for me) of an excellent dining occasion. Vegetarian options and most impressive tasting menus are very popular too. High quality wines and drinks offer something for all palates. Gift vouchers are available - perhaps surprise someone? Booking is always advised. Parties, occasions and receptions are regularly accommodated. Private hire packages are also available. Thank you to Joseph for exemplary service throughout. Most memorable dining at another level. Highly recommended. Darleys Restaurant & Terrace, Waterfront, Darley Abbey Mills, Derby DE22 1DZ. Tel: 01332 364987. E-mail: info@darleys.com Web: www.darleys.com

As always, Enjoy! Review By Trevor Langley

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HOW DO YOU FEEL...

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Issue 127 2023

How Do You Feel About Feedback? Feedback! Something that we all have to be prepared to accept on occasion when we’re interacting with other people. Even as a child, we’re likely to have been chided for our behaviour, sometimes told ‘no’ or given feedback as to how we should behave in certain situations and circumstances. Parents’ evenings at school provide feedback on our performance, on what we need to do and which subjects need extra focus in order to succeed in our desired goals. And this continues into a college, university and work setting, with interviews and appraisals providing pointers for reflection as well as insight into those areas requiring attention and improvement in order for us to get on in life and succeed. Personal relationships can deliver the most cutting feedback of all, with those who know and care for us the most being in a position to provide devastating feedback at times. Those relationships are the most intimate in our lives and are with the people who see us at our best and worst, on both good and bad days, first thing in the morning, when we’re feeling unwell, are down, hurt and upset. So, if we’re then regaled with our shortcomings and have our vulnerabilities used against us, this

can be the final straw on a tough day. Certainly, we all have habits, patterns of behaviour and personality traits that irritate and cause annoyance, but successful relationships require tolerance, patience and a certain amount of flexibility. Obviously, feedback is a matter of personal opinion based on someone else’s perception, perspective and experience of us. But, if someone’s paying our wages or is finding it difficult to continue being our friend or to coexist with us, it can become a serious matter of concern and we need to determine how to then proceed. Communication and discussion can be positive ways to intercept problem areas before they become too overwhelming and destructive. Hearing what the issues are, or, if you’re giving feedback, explaining what is

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bothersome to you in an understanding, nonconfrontational way can prompt healing and resolution of underlying areas of concern. As an adult, we need to reflect on those remarks and decide how we feel about what’s being said. Can we ‘take it’, is there a validity to the comments, or is someone jealous, bitchy or trying to ‘cut us down to size’? Should we appreciate that some elements of our behaviour may need modifying? Certainly, sometimes we may benefit immensely from feedback, even if it’s hard to take. I remember when I first started on radio and my dad happened to be listening to one of my earliest shows. Afterwards he said that I should stop saying, ‘absolutely’ so often. I hadn’t realised how often I said it and could have become a little huffy or defensive about the comment, but appreciated that someone else sees or hears things from a different perspective. It’s a simple example, but feedback like that gives us a nudge and reminds us that it’s not all about us. We have to consider other people’s experience, too. So it is with pretty much everything. Being able to park up our egos, listen to what’s being given as feedback and choose to agree or disagree, accept it or not, whilst being okay about what’s being said and not becoming a victim is important. ‘You feel that way, I agree (or not) and that’s fine. Thank you for your feedback’ is a good way to acknowledge what’s been said. And when we put ourselves out there we have to accept that others are in a position to then comment. Just look at the furore over

Issue 127 2023

social media and the issues around trolling! Most accept that other users can disagree and makes comments, but replying under a cloak of anonymity, venting and making nasty, abusive comments is not okay. But genuine feedback in a work environment can be important. It’s all too easy to become relaxed, comfortable and even complacent when we’re undertaking familiar, routine tasks. We may have slipped into auto-pilot mode. Constructive feedback can encourage us to focus again, grow, improve and maybe even develop new skills. And, in relationships, feedback can stop trivialities from escalating into something bigger than they need to be. It can stop them festering and causing resentment and damage. So, if you’re wanting to give feedback, pick your moment, a quiet time that suits everyone involved to then have a respectful conversation, one where everyone comes away perhaps feeling a little challenged but that some good has come from the time spent together, discussing how each other feels. All relationships require work and benefit from sometimes having uncomfortable conversations, where issues are voiced and dealt with. It’s an opportunity to air niggles and irritants, enable the relationship to grow and ultimately for both to become more rounded and authentic in their interactions with others.

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CLEANING YOUR...

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Issue 127 2023

Cleaning Your Beauty Blender When it comes to cleaning your makeup brushes and sponges, this a job that can often fall by the wayside, but it is so important to get into the habit of cleaning them after every use. Beauty blenders, especially, can harbour all kinds of germs and bacteria which you can then transfer onto your skin every time you use it. Not only are they a breeding ground for germs, but a beauty blender won’t blend your foundation properly when it’s saturated in layers of your old foundation. It can also affect the colour of the products you’re using. I find that the most conventional way to clean your beauty blender is with soap. There are various branded blender cleansers on the market but a mild, gentle shampoo such as Johnson’s baby shampoo can be just as effective. Follow these steps beauty blender -

when

cleaning

your

Step 2. You will start to see the lather turn colour (all the build-up of product coming off). Then take a look at your beauty blender, if it still looks discoloured, you can repeat the process. You needn’t worry that you’ll do damage to your blender, as long as you’re using a gentle formula for removal.

Step 3.

Step 1. Wet your beauty blender and squirt some Johnson’s baby shampoo directly onto it, rub the sponge between your fingers, working it into a lather.

If your bender is overloaded with product you can treat it to a little bubble bath. Fill a cup with warm water, add a few drops of your beauty cleanser/shampoo and leave the sponge to soak for a couple of minutes.

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CLEANING YOUR... Issue 127 2023

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Step 4. Give your blender a thorough rinse and then leave the sponge to dry naturally in a wellventilated area. Ideally the blender should be propped up so that air can circulate around the sponge allowing it to dry evenly. The Beautifect Pod available to purchase from www.beautifect.com is the ultimate accessory for your beauty blender. The Beautifect Pod has ventilation holes to allow air to circulate around your beauty blender. It’s compact, lightweight design means that it fits perfectly in your handbag/vanity bag. The Beautifect Pod allows you to carry your beauty blender in a hygienic way when you’re on the move. Hi, I am Charlie, a former make-up artist originally based in Norwich. I have always been passionate about art and channelling it through creative makeup. I trained at Norwich City College in Fashion and SFX makeup. My work has been published both nationally and internationally. Want to see more? checkout my Instagram - @ThePoutyLip

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NOVA SILVER

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Issue 127 2023

Nova Silver Christmas Is Almost Here!

With Christmas slowly coming up, it’s time to start thinking about Christmas gifts to get to your friends and loved ones. Here at Nova Silver, we have selected some of our favourite jewellery sets which can make perfect gifts for the holidays! Whatever you decide to get, we are here to give you the best ideas to make that Christmas extra special!

Silver Jewellery Sets We have some lovely matching sterling silver necklace and earring sets that are perfect for the Christmas season. We have a range of super cute themed jewellery including animals and flowers and also some plainer looking designs in sterling silver which you can wear for any occasion. We have this adorable matching sterling silver Hedgehog necklace and studs which are perfect for the winter! The necklace and studs have a cute front view of a hedgehog with a satin finish and they are a perfect gift for any animal lover. Or if you’re looking for something a bit simpler, we have these lovely sterling silver two circles matching pendant and earrings. They both feature a continuous piece of silver which is manipulated and curved into two circles. This set is the perfect piece for anyone who is into statement jewellery and adds a touch of elegance to a desired outfit. Shrieking Violet Sets Our Shrieking Violet sets are absolutely stunning and are very popular to give as a meaningful gift as they are made with different types of flowers. Our Shrieking Violet collection pieces are all made with real flowers which are set in resin. We have a beautiful selection of flowers such as Forget Me Nots, Heather, Roses, Poppies, Daisies, Sunflowers and more! Our Shrieking Violet pieces come in small and big pendants, earrings, rings, bracelets and even brooches. One of our favourite pieces is this lovely Bohemia matching pendant and earrings which features both poppies and roses together. This matching set is absolutely gorgeous and can be worn both casually or for a night out, a perfect gift to show your love to your close ones.

Contact Details:

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BEST OF NORFOLK Issue 127 2023

Best Of Norfolk - Through The Lens Of Our Readers Thanks to the wonderful photographs shared by our followers on Facebook, have a look at these amazing October images of our stunning region.

Charlotte Watlow - Horningtoft Charity Plough Day

CLAW Photography And Crafts - Brunstead PAGE

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BEST OF NORFOLK Issue 127 2023

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Charlotte Watlow - Smallburgh, Lunch Time

CLAW Photography And Crafts - Dilham PAGE

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BEST OF NORFOLK Issue 127 2023

Charlotte Watlow - Just A Few Geese, Taken At Tunstead

Helen Chapman - Sunset In Ditchingham PAGE

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BEST OF NORFOLK Issue 127 2023

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Laura Baxter - Morston Quay

Nadine Gray - Bacton Woods PAGE

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BEST OF NORFOLK

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Helen Chapman - Gorleston Beach

Issue 127 2023

Scott Sharpe - Cromer Pier

Charlotte Watlow PAGE

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BEST OF NORFOLK Issue 127 2023

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Sheila Ann Denny - Pulls Ferry, Norwich

Charlotte Watlow

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BEST OF NORFOLK

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Issue 127 2023

CLAW Photography and Crafts

Fiona Ellis

CLAW Photography And Crafts - Sugarbeet And Skies At Burlingham

To be in with a chance of having your own photographs featured in the future, look out for our regular Facebook posts where you can add your images. Alternatively, send an email with your image and caption to: submissions@icenimagazine.co.uk PAGE

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HOW ARE YOUR...

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Issue 127 2023

How Are Your Children Sleeping? For many of us, the two years of lockdown have brought significant changes to our priorities and our outlook on life. But, many recognise that it’s the children and elderly who have borne the brunt of its impact, losing out on education, their in-person relationships, team activities and quality of life. Children’s mental health, social skills and wellbeing have all been affected by the pandemic and their sleeping problems have consequently escalated. According to a 2021 NHS Digital survey and a survey by The Prince’s Trust of 6 -23 year olds, both surveys reveal that 67% of young people feel that the pandemic will have a long-term negative effect on their mental health. Having trouble sleeping on three or more nights a week, not drifting off to sleep or

waking up in the night or especially early have all been identified as the main concerns of the survey’s respondents. The American Academy of Paediatrics found that sleep problems affect between 25-50% of children and 40% of adolescents, with 25% of children under the age of 5 not getting enough sleep. A child’s ability to sleep well is influenced by the vicissitudes of their daily lives, how they feel about what’s happening, their inner talk and stress levels. Establishing a calm, secure base can make all the difference to how well they cope and remain healthy. So, let’s look at the best sleeping conditions and sleep hygiene for children. What can be done to support them? Start by helping your child relax and get ready for bed by building calm, quiet activities into their bedtime routine, maybe playing gentle

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HOW ARE YOUR...

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music, reading a story together or encouraging them to take a pre-bed bath. A regular, consistent bedtime routine is especially important for children, in order to ensure that they get enough sleep, whether they are young and still growing or older and studying for exams. Winding down and turning in at a specific time, as well as the familiarity of getting ready for bed all prepare a child for sleep. Their lifestyle has a big influence on a child’s health, resilience and ability to switch off and sleep. Having a healthy, nutritious diet with minimal junk and processed food, caffeine and sugary treats, especially before bed, has a beneficial impact on a child’s quality of sleep. Fresh air and regular exercise are good for heart, lungs and breathing, as well as helping them burn off some energy and cope better with stress. Going for a walk, run or bike ride whilst the evening meal or Sunday lunch is cooking could be a good way of spending quality time together to chat, compete and have fun as a family. Also, eating together as a family once or twice a week keeps everyone in touch and enables parents to quickly notice if a child’s behaviour has changed, their relationship with food is different or they’re appearing stressed. A clutter-free bedroom is important, with minimal technology and any work stations screened off, if possible, when not in use.

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It’s important for a bedroom to be the place to relax and sleep in. Good ventilation and not too warm is important, as is lighting. Nervous children may appreciate a night light, so that the bedroom is not too dark at bedtime. Turning off technology, TV screens and video games a couple of hours before bed and having a light supper before bed can be ways to indicate that bedtime is approaching. Some children find stories reassuring at bedtime, and an appropriate story can help a nervous or anxious child settle. Some children appreciate a cuddly toy at bedtime, and even 10% of adults disclosed in a recent survey that they like to take their teddy bear to bed at night. Students leaving home for the first time for university often take their teddy bear with them, finding it to be a reassuring presence at bedtime, bringing comfort, a connection to their roots, helping them feel safe and secure. Accept that it’s not uncommon for very young and early school age children to experience sleep-related problems, like nightmares, night terrors, bedwetting, sleep walking or talking, or thumb sucking. Often these are temporary behaviours which are usually grown out of. Providing a safe environment and familiar routine, where children feel protected, listened to and understood is the key to enabling a child be able to go to bed at night, ready to relax and drift off into a good night’s sleep.

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QUIZ: WHAT'S YOUR...

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Issue 127 2023

Quiz: What’s Your Parenting Approach?

Make a note of your answers as you d) Avoiding strict discipline altogether go along, then find out at the end which parenting approach you most Question 2: How do you handle your child’s emotions? commonly adopt. Question 1: When it comes to discipline, you believe in: a) Strict rules and consequences b) Finding a balance between rules and understanding c) Giving your child freedom to make their own choices

a) Encouraging them to toughen up and not show vulnerability b) Acknowledging their feelings and helping them express themselves c) Letting them figure it out on their own d) Minimizing their emotions and focusing on practical solutions

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Issue 127 2023

Question 3: What is your stance on screen time? a) Strict limits and monitoring b) Allowing limited screen time with educational content c) Giving your child unrestricted access to screens d) Avoiding screens altogether Question 4: How involved are you in your child’s school activities? a) Constantly involved, attending every event and parent-teacher meeting b) Being present for important events and supporting their education c) Letting your child take the lead and decide their level of involvement d) Not being involved, leaving it solely to the school Question 5: What is your approach to chores and responsibilities? a) Assigning strict chores and expecting them to be completed without fail

b) Encouraging your child to take on ageappropriate responsibilities c) Allowing your child to decide if and when they want to help out d) Not emphasizing chores and responsibilities Question 6: How do you handle conflicts between your children? a) Intervening and imposing a resolution b) Mediating and encouraging open communication c) Letting them sort it out on their own d) Ignoring the conflicts and hoping they resolve themselves Question 7: What is your perspective on academic achievement? a) Pushing your child to excel academically, no matter what b) Encouraging them to do their best but not pressuring them excessively c) Letting your child decide their own level of achievement d) Not placing much emphasis on academic performance

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QUIZ: WHAT'S YOUR...

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Question 8: How do you foster independence in your child? a) Keeping a close eye on them and making most decisions for them b) Offering guidance and gradually giving them more independence c) Allowing them complete freedom to make their own choices d) Not actively encouraging independence Question 9: How do you handle mistakes and failures? a) Reacting strongly and expecting perfection b) Encouraging learning from mistakes and providing support c) Leaving your child to handle their own mistakes d) Downplaying mistakes and focusing on positive aspects Question 10: How do you prioritise your own self-care as a parent? a) Neglecting self-care to focus solely on your child b) Finding time for self-care occasionally c) Prioritising self-care above all else d) Not considering self-care a priority Question 11: What is your approach to discussing challenging topics with your child? a) Avoiding difficult topics altogether b) Addressing them honestly and ageappropriately c) Letting your child lead the conversation when they are ready d) Leaving it to others, such as schools or media, to tackle those topics Question 12: How do you define success for your child? a) Achieving specific goals and external recognition b) Cultivating their personal interests and happiness c) Allowing your child to define their own success d) Not placing much importance on success.

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Mostly As This suggests you have an authoritative parenting style. You believe in setting clear rules and expectations for your child. This is a more traditional approach to parenting. Your approach is strict and involves punishments for failing to follow the rules you have imposed. This is likely to have been similar to the way in which you were parented. Mostly Bs This indicates that you have an empathetic and supportive parenting style, asserting your authority only when necessary. This may also be deemed a balanced parenting approach. You set boundaries, but also allow your children a certain amount of freedom, too, without compromising their safety. Your parenting style shows that you value your child’s emotions and make an effort to understand and validate them, helping them develop emotional intelligence. Mostly Cs This suggests that you tend to adopt a permissive or laissez-faire parenting style. You believe in granting your child a high level of freedom and independence, allowing them to make their own choices without much guidance or intervention. Mostly Ds This indicates that you largely follow an uninvolved or neglectful parenting style. You tend to be less involved in your child’s life and may not prioritise discipline or structure. This style can sometimes arise from circumstances beyond your control, but it’s important to recognise the value of being engaged in your child’s upbringing. PAGE

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HEALTHY PARENTING

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Issue 127 2023

Healthy Parenting Parenting is one of the hardest things that I have done and continue to do in my life. It’s safe to say that nothing prepares you for it both the challenges and the magnitude of the joy that it brings. We are all affected by parenting as a role in some capacity. We all have parents, whether they be birth parents or adopted, regardless of whether we have a close relationship with them or whether we are estranged for whatever reason; whether we are parents ourselves, or whether we are friends with parents- there is no doubt about it, the role of parenting fills a lot of our lifetime. I work as a Lifestyle Medic, GP and Coach and see patients all the time who are unwell as a result of neglecting their own personal health, often a reason for this is putting other people’s

need above their own. This is so often true for those who are either parents themselves or those who find themselves in the role of being the primary support for elderly parents or relatives. I work with the British Society of Lifestyle Medicine (BSLM), an organisation that supports evidenced based clinical practice that is tailored to individuals own needs, through Lifestyle Medicine. It works to reverse or prevent chronic disease. BSLM uses 6 pillars of health to help individuals lead healthier lives. These 6 pillars are 1. Mental Well-being and Stress Reduction 2. Healthy relationships 3. Sleep 4. Physical Activity & Movement 5. Healthy Nutrition 6. Reduction or cessation of harmful substances. PAGE

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HEALTHY PARENTING

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Issue 127 2023

All of these 6 pillars have robust scientific evidence which demonstrate how, when we incorporate them into our daily lives, we will be healthier. So how can we find time to incorporate the 6 pillars whilst still continuing our role as parents or supporting our parents? Here are some tips: 1. Remember to factor in time for yourself You can’t pour from an empty cup and always put on your own oxygen mask first - whatever the analogy, it’s true! If you are running on empty you are unlikely to be healthy inside. Connecting with our body and our emotions is key to wellbeing. Traditional medicine focuses on the body being separate from our emotions, yet we know now more than ever that this could not be further from the truth. When we are stressed, our body goes into a state of chronic stress, which causes inflammation. It is inflammation that then begins the disease processes, and it is these processes which contribute to all kinds of medical conditions, ranging from cardiovascular disease, heart attacks or strokes to cancers and so many more.

So making time for yourself, must not be a desirable, “would be nice to do one day” thing, which gets put down the bottom of the to-do list. It is fundamental to staying well and being able to continue your role in whatever capacity as a parent. BSLM has a #1change campaign - what one thing could you do for your health that will help you feel better? Whether it is prioritising movement instead of watching TV, making sure you take a lunch break away from your desk, or making time to connect with friends. Whatever it is you need in your life, how can you give yourself permission to fit it in and prioritise it? 2. Check in with yourself. So often, when we run on autopilot, we start to block out what our bodies are telling us. I frequently see patients attending my clinics with physical symptoms, which have arisen from unintentional self- neglect. Our bodies are clever, they give us clues on how we are feeling. Our job is to be more in tune and pay attention to what they are telling us. From holding tension in our necks, to grinding our teeth, to irritable bowel syndrome; these are all examples of our body trying to tell us that it has unmet needs. It’s craving some time to release this tension and be calm. Have a little check in with your body, notice how it is feeling and what it is trying to tell you. Movement is an excellent way of releasing stress and also promoting endorphins which make us feel better and more likely to have increased positive wellbeing. We all have different ways of relaxing and so no-one can tell you what you need, you have to have the confidence to give yourself what you need.

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HEALTHY PARENTING

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Issue 127 2023

3. Expectations…. As people, we all have different drivers for our behaviours, and sometimes we find ourselves living to other peoples expectations rather than our own. I know that I am guilty of feeling like a bad Mum when I have given the kids a “PJ day” and a chance to relax, only to check Instagram and see other parents picking pumpkins, doing craft activities and giving their children an “Insta- perfect” life! In the moment when I was deciding how we would spend our day, I knew what the kids needed and felt confident in my decision. Yet, when I saw how other parents had spent their day, suddenly I doubt myself. Practising tuning into our own needs and having confidence to make decisions that fit your own lives is key to staying well. Remember, caring for others should always start with caring for yourself and it’s fundamental for everyone’s wellbeing. If you would like support with ‘Living your life with intention to create health and happiness’ reach out to Dr Sarah www.authenticallyou.co.uk Dr Sarah Sykes - Bio Dr Sarah is a GP, Lifestyle Medic and Performance Coach. Sarah was drawn to Lifestyle Medicine after years working in General Practice with patients who were often seeking answers in the form of a magic pill! Sarah realised that patients needed more when these pills either don’t work or fail to exist in the first place – which is where Lifestyle Medicine comes in. She obtained her Diploma in Lifestyle Medicine from the British Society of Lifestyle Medicine (BSLM) and now works

as the Regional Director for BSLM in the East of England in a voluntary capacity, helping to promote the 6 pillars of Lifestyle Medicine. Initiating conversations about behaviour change is such a challenge, especially in a society where we all have busy lives and it is challenging to find the time to focus on our own health and wellness, so Dr Sarah, took further qualifications and is a qualified Performance Coach. Dr Sarah founded AuthenticallYouTM to support patients to live their lives with intention to create health and happiness. She believes that we are well when we are our authentic selves and take time to invest in ourselves. She creates space in her coaching sessions for clients to create a healthy and happy future. Find her on: www.authenticallyou.co.uk Instagram: @authenticallyou1 Facebook: Sarah Sykes - AuthenticallYou Email: authenticallyou@hotmail.com PAGE

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SLIMMING WORLD

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Issue 127 2023

Slimming World:

Perfect For Parents For many parents, we often wonder how to get our children eating more healthy foods and this can be tricky if there are flavours and textures they don’t like or are nervous about trying new foods! We may also want to eat more healthily and don’t want to be cooking multiple meals for the family. As well as being a Slimming World consultant I am also a member. When I joined as a member I was relieved to discover that we could all eat the same meals and little tips and tricks to get kids to enjoy food that was healthy. Our family favourites are spaghetti bolognaise (which we also adapt into a chilli and jacket potato), curry and fajitas and pitta bread pizzas and homemade chips. Slimming World is a family-friendly approach - helping mums, dads and guardians take home healthy habits around food and activity - that the whole family benefits from. Slimming World’s Health and Wellbeing survey found that three

months after joining Slimming World 82% of members surveyed said that their partner was eating healthier meals and 77% said their children were too! My tip is to think about simple healthy swaps. As an example, if your kids love chips, then you can make your own using fry light rather than other oils or pre bought ones and using fat free yogurt rather than cream to make sauces. Using pitta breads as a pizza base has been a great discovery as it means we get our pizza fix without putting on the pounds and we all enjoy making our pizzas with the toppings we love! I asked a couple of members for their experience of and any tips for following the Slimming World approach as a parent. Helen said “I joined Slimming World 21 weeks ago, and am so pleased with my progress so far, I’m no longer pre diabetic for the first time in 15 years. I’m a single mum to a 15 year old food obsessed son. When he was a baby, weaning was so much fun. I tried new foods on him every day, and always fed him what we were having

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SLIMMING WORLD

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for dinner. His facial expressions were hilarious as he experienced the new flavours, I think sometimes the screwed up face is mistaken as the child not liking something, rather than the child’s taste buds trying something for the first time. I found once he had tried something 5 times he then loved the flavours. Since then his always loved a wide variety of foods, Brussels sprouts being his favourite vegetable, and his never scared to try something new. Over recent years he too was gaining excess weight, as, like me, he has a sweet tooth and a love for takeaways. He really enjoys cooking, and since I joined Slimming World he has helped me by cooking at least 3 meals a week, and is really enjoying cooking the Slimming World way, researching each meal using Google, or the Slimming World cook books I’ve collected, and finding ways for us both to eat the foods we love. Recently, we bought an airfryer and he won’t let me near it as he is now in charge of the kitchen, and now tells me what we need from the shops and as I’m busy running my own business, Helen’s Footcare, this suits me just fine!! My Slimming World has been life changing for us both in more ways than one.”

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a great way to start this at home. He never used to like mince meat but he says the cauliflower cheese and cheese triangles to make the white sauce is delicious although I haven’t told him it’s cauliflower as he’d say “Yucky!” It also works as I’m a mum running my own business One of a Kind Club (feel good jewellery) as the meals are so easy to prepare and I often batch cook so that it saves time. The food gives us energy and it’s good for us. Slimming World is so easy to fit into our busy lives.” From Helen and Carol’s stories we can see the more you can get your kids involved in cooking or deciding on meals, the more invested and likely they are to try new things. I have also learnt to not give up on certain foods, every so often get the kids to try something again and they may love something that they once thought was ‘yucky!’

Carol says “My kids can be fussy but we’ve been making lots of new recipes together so they get to see what goes into food. From sausage pasta to roast dinners to mild curry. All with vegetables. My son loves trying things he knows are healthy as he says school want them to eat healthily. It’s

Hi, I'm Ali, a Slimming World Consultant in Old Catton and Thorpe Hamlet in Norwich. As a slimmer myself and a parent, I love to bulk cook, making family friendly meals. I am passionate about helping people achieve their goals and feeling healthier and confident. If you or someone you know would like to lose half a stone or more I would love to hear from you! Get in touch to find out more about Slimming World groups: 07835111224. PAGE

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Carry on reading to find out

Our Picks Of What’s On this month.

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WHAT'S ON... Issue 127 2023

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WHAT'S ON...

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Issue 127 2023

Fun-Filled Evening Planned For Norwich’s Festive Lights Switch-On

Traditionally it is THE event in Norwich which gets the city off to a sparkly start in the run-up to the Christmas season and this year’s Festive Lights Switch-On is no different. This year’s free celebratory family event takes place on Thursday 16 November and will offer live song and dance entertainment, the magic of the lights being switched on and a visit from Father Christmas, along with several other exciting surprises to be announced. Norwich City Council works with Norwich Business Improvement District (BID) each year to light up the city, and there will be a special guest star on the evening to press the switch and set the streets aglow. With live performances, including from The Garage and the Invidia Choir, gymnastics displays, a funfair in Gentleman’s Walk, the market open until 8pm, some foodie treats on offer and a stunning light display, what

better way for those of all ages to get into the festive spirit? The event will run from 5:30pm to 7:15pm, with the lights being switched on at 7pm. All the action will take on a stage in front of City Hall. Full details of the fun-packed evening, including who will be turning on the lights, will be revealed nearer the time - keep an eye on Norwich City Council’s social media channels and website where updates will be posted. Accessible and quieter viewing areas will also be available and can be booked in advance by emailing events@norwich.gov.uk Councillor Mike Stonard, leader of Norwich City Council, said: “This year’s Festive Lights Switch-on is a wonderful opportunity for residents and visitors alike to come and join together as a community, have a fun evening out and support some of our city centre businesses which will be open on the night. The council is proud to continue to provide this free family event for everyone, especially at a time when many are feeling the pinch.” PAGE

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WHAT'S ON... Issue 127 2023

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ICENI ANAGRAMS

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Issue 127 2023

ICENI ANAGRAMS Here are five anagrams of fantastic East Anglia-based places for parents to take their kids along with some clues. Solve all five and send us an email to: submissions@icenimagazine.co.uk with your answers for the chance to win an Iceni Magazine pen. UK residents only.

WEIRDO BOWLED Face your fears, get your feet off the ground and enter a fantastical world.

AMAZON HOB Get up close and personal with an array of natives and foreigners.

HOLLOW DISPLEASURE Just over the border in Suffolk, this fun-filled place turned 40 this year!

DOOR SPACING Sport in a jungle setting.

AMBUSHES GERANIUM STEMS Horse or train - both are options, you stupid boy!

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