iCoach Magazine Issue 11: RELATIONSHIP

IN THIS ISSUE...

COVER STORY: 4 Simple Practices To Transform Your Relationships With Men

... Gigi Sage

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Decide on It, Jamie Siv Rongstad

6 Relationships With Soul: The Path To Deeply Satisfying Relationship

... Marilyn Rodriguez

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Family-Can’t Live With or Without Them, Allison Kramer

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Our Relationship With Love - Leading With Love

... Karen Davis

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Want Better Relationships?Begin With Acceptance, Deb Smouse

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Uncle Misery

... Amir Karkouti

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Where is Your Connection? Heather Doyle Fraser

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Relationship with Self

... Stacy Nelson

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A couple of FYI’s... Yes, it’s the small print! First off - none of the articles in this magazine, including the cover, were paid for. This is not and will never be a Pay-To-Pay because I am dedicated to supporting our membership first by promoting their awesomeness and to our readership second by delivering the best content we can. The advertisements on the other hand are either paid for by our sponsors or are affiliate links that will help offset the expense of publishing this monthly Magazine so we can keep it as free and easily distributable. If you have any comments or concerns, please contact our team at Info@iCoachNetwork.com

Being Together It's interesting being a publisher... as the articles come in, my assistant puts the words lovingly into place, the placement to be wiggled and the formatting to be polished, each article with the pure potentiality of transforming, inspiring, teaching, modeling or simply supporting. So I read the freshly minted words and I do all of the technical stuff that is involved.

Then I decide what I am being moved to share. Where should my words fall onto the page? What do I need to connect with to have these characters create all of the things I just experienced in reading the rest? Where do we want to go...? This issue truly impacted me at a deeper level...

This month is about RELATIONSHIP and I can think of no better way than to introduce to you the people who will be contributing as Co-Creators of this magazine. Each month you will be reading longer articles from my friends Amir, Karen and Marilyn. These coaches are magnificent people, succeeding in this industry in unbelievable ways, all committed to changing the face of coaching - to bring it back to its essence of having powerful conversations that forever transform lives in the amount of time it takes to have lunch. Each of them brings their own voice and style but truly, the power comes when like minded souls on this path of coaching come together and create something valuable. I am proud to have them on board with me, sharing their insight and love, pouring their hearts into the pages you are holding right now.

With Love & Light

Stacy Nelson, Founder iCoachNetwork.com

www.iCoachNetwork.com

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“take 100% responsibility for all of your relationships. This sets the tone for the other person to do the same”

4 SIMPLE PRACTICES TO TRANSFORM YOUR RELATIONSHIPS WITH MEN “Curiosity is magical.

When you are genuinely curious about someone, they can feel it - and will relax and open up to you.”

I’ve worked with tens of thousands of women around the world on how to have better relationships with men, and while individual stories vary, you would be amazed at how often I hear the same kinds of statements from women...

“He never listens to me. Why is it so hard for him to understand what I really want?”

“I feel like I’m the only one putting any effort into making our relationship work.”

“I want to spend more time together, but he only wants to watch TV at night.”

The good news is there are simple steps you can take that will strengthen your relationships with all the men in your life. Just as relationship struggles and conflicts tend to be fairly universal, these skills can be applied to your business, family, romantic, and other relationships with men.

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Step 1: Take a 100/100 Approach While conventional wisdom tells us relationships should be 50/50, I’ve found that this approach automatically sets the stage for conflict. After all, how can you be sure each person is contributing exactly half? What if it’s 60/40 one week, and 30/ 70 the following week? This immediately creates resentment and unmet expectations.

Instead, I encourage you to take 100% responsibility for all of your relationships. This sets the tone for the other person to do the same.

“But, what if they don’t?” I can hear you asking.

If this thought comes up for you, I am going to ask that you fully commit to just 30 days of lovingly, patiently and passionately doing your 100%. If the other person doesn’t reciprocate, then use all the steps I share in this article to ask for what you want. Remember that it takes time for men to process your requests. We women change our minds and emotions moment to moment (and don’t think twice about it). Men need more time to process and think about their response. Give him space and time, without pressuring him, and I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised at the results.

There’s something really empowering about finally just jumping in, letting go of who’s right and taking the high road to make things work.

Step 2: Get Curious, and Watch for the “Lights” Curiosity is magical. When you are genuinely curious about someone, they can feel it – and will relax and open up to you. This is different than “active listening.” You can actively listen to some-

one, without having a deep interest in what they are saying.

To practice the skill of curiosity, ask open-ended questions, and watch the person you are speaking to closely. When their eyes light up and they become animated and excited, follow up on that topic. Keep asking questions, and watch as they come alive.

Step 3: Tell Them How They Contribute Everyone wants to be appreciated for how they contribute to your life, particularly men. Verbal Appreciation and Acknowledgement are simple and profound skills that will immediately strengthen your relationships at home and at work.

This is different than giving a compliment. A compliment is something like, “you look really nice today.” An acknowledgement means clearly stating what someone did or said that contributed, such as “when you made me breakfast this morning, it really made me feel loved and cared for.”

Think about a relationship you want to strengthen and write down 10 ways that person contributes to your life or the lives of others. Verbally let them know at least three of those within the next week.

Step 4: Ask for What You Want I truly believe deep down, men really want to please women. But women often expect men to guess what they want, and that’s where the trouble starts. Instead of communicating our desires clearly, women get into an unconscious habit of complaining and blaming when our needs aren’t met. This makes men feel like they are doing something wrong (and makes them want to dis-

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tance themselves emotionally and even physically).

This whole scenario can be easily avoided by clearly communicating what you want, instead of what you don’t want. For one week, practice being aware of when you feel like complaining, and clearly stating what you want instead. For example, if you want to tell your husband, “We never spend time together!” you might try saying, “I’d love to check out that new Italian restaurant around the corner. I can call and make a reservation, which night works for you this week?”

Practice Makes Perfect I recommend spending at least one week practicing each of these skills in different environments – at home, at work, etc. As you do this, observe: how are men reacting? Do you notice shifts in your interactions and relationship dynamics?

The changes may be subtle at first, but as these practices become habits, you will be astonished at how quickly things change. In just a few weeks you’ll enjoy less conflict, better communication, and more fun and ease in all of your relationships with men.

A b o u t G i g i : Gigi Sage is an international author, business transformer and relationship-changer.

One of Gigi’s core philosophies is that harmony comes from appreciating and respecting the differences in the opposite gender, instead of trying to change them. By blending their strengths, men and women have the potential to create harmony in both their professional and personal lives. In Gigi’s words, “we need each other.”

Over her 24-year career as “executive anthropologist,” Gigi has inspired leaders to follow their curiosity, find what makes them “light up,” and learn how to become highly effective communicators in their professional and personal relationships.

Gigi has been certifying trainers and coaches, internationally for over 20 years. She founded The Curiosity Coaching Academy, where she teaches “The Relationship Mastery Program.”

She is on a mission to share this “happy relationships 101” program with individuals, coaches, HR managers, parents, and others around the world. Gigi believes every person needs to learn effective communication skills, so we can eliminate unnecessary conflict between families, friends, business relationships, marriages and even countries.

This feminine Sage from Texas, well-known in Europe, draws people to her with her energy and passion for coaching, and the truly genuine way she cares for each and every client. Gigi loves to spend time in her “other homes” of NYC, Amsterdam, Maui and Munich. She is the proud mother of five children who are continuously following their curiosities and discovering their own passions as musicians, writers, entrepreneurs, and beyond.

In addition to her work, Gigi loves sharing healthy living, exploring new cultures, yoga, and spending time with friends and family. For questions email info@gigisage.com and for more information visit www.curiositycoachingacademy.com.

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DECIDE ON IT

away for months, when in fact he has been away for two days. He also hugs and kisses his wife as if they met two days ago, when they have actually been married seventeen years. A guy watching them says: ”I hope my marriage will be like that.” The family man says: ”Don’t hope. Decide on it!”

I can’t really imagine any kind of relationship without love. Because the absence of love, to me, implies distance. Not hate, although that can happen sometimes too. No, I am talking about the absence of love as neutrality or lack of interest.

Which means, no relationship. Yes, of course there is more to a relationship than love. I’m just not considering that in this article.

I used to always think that in a relationship, the two parties should give 50% each to make up 100% together. This would make a perfect relationship. My relationships suffered badly because of this, and so did my business. I was lucky to keep my friendships alive. Love had a label and the label had conditions. I didn’t realize that the most important thing is to love with all your heart, and make sure you remember why you love, how to love and, yes – Just do it. Love.

This week, a beautiful article has been shared on Facebook about a guy who is meeting his family at the airport, and greets them as if he has been

It does not mean being taken for granted. No, it means to breath it, dream, sleep, eat and think it.

Soar. Double it and make it more.

The most important thing you do in a relationship, is to love. And to decide on doing it. Unconditionally.

A b o u t J a m i e : Jamie Siv works together with her clients on realizing their life purpose by finding their gifts and talents. She uses the powerful tool of Archetypes, which, in a high vibration, contain all the gifts and talents that added up, point at the life purpose. Her webpage and Facebook pages are in Norwegian, however, Google is your friend, so Google translate anything you want to know. The sites will be in English before the summer.

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“I desired deep in my soul to know what a Relationship with Soul felt and looked like”

RELATIONSHIPS WITH SOUL: THE PATH TO DEEPLY SATISFYING RELATIONSHIPS

“Sacred relationships require that you take frequent inner journeys to meet and know your own soul and understand the true essence of who you are.”

If there is one thing that damages relationships, it is the lack of Soul injected into the core of relationships. Relationships of any kind require depth, love and compassion. I know from experience that creating depth in relationships requires the experience of vulnerability and that can be scary especially when you have the experience that it is not safe to be vulnerable...to be you.

However, through trial and error, heartache and fear, I discovered a magical element that helped me to follow my intuition, be real and vulnerable and create deep, loving relationships with other soul-centered individuals.

It began when I realized that none of my relationships were filling me up. I noticed patterns and behaviors in others that bothered me, hurt me and left me feeling emotionally zapped. They weren’t calling me to be the highest version of who I am and it felt like 7

something was missing. So I started asking myself “What is missing in my relationships?”

I wanted to know what it might FEEL like to have relationships that were loving, light, evolved, deep and safe. I had no idea what that even looked like but I was determined to make that personal discovery. I desired deep in my soul to know what a Relationship with Soul felt and looked like.

I lovingly began to let go of all relationships that did not fill me up or focused too much on the negatives in life, followed my intuition and began reaching out to individuals I felt “called” to know.

By placing my attention on my desire to have Relationships with Soul, the opportunities to connect with these people began to show up. Little by little I started to fill up the Relationship Quadrant of my life with deeply fulfilling, inspiring relationships that expanded me and made me feel vast amounts of love and happiness. I discovered that relationships required SOUL. When you let go of relationships that drain you and do not lift you up, you make room for the people whom you have a soul contract with and are meant to experience divine relationships with.

This ever evolving journey to know soul-filled relationships has taught me some of the most lifechanging lessons of my life. I share them here, from my heart to yours, with the desire that you come to know greater depths of love, compassion and joy in your relationships TRUTH IS KIND Relationships with Soul do not hurt you. They may challenge you, help you grow and you might experience pain associated with letting something go, but they will not hurt or betray you. You will know that you are not in a Relationship with

Soul if the other person is not mindful when speaking the truth to you. On the contrary, these soul-filled relationships pour the truth into you in the most loving and profound ways. The truth will always be kind, safe and fill you up.

VULNERABILITY IS SAFE Relationships with Soul require that you be vulnerable. There is no small talk. Conversations that take place in soul-filled relationships call you to go deep and experience love, openness and compassion at deep levels. They call you to expose your soul. The beauty about these relationships is that each person is aware of this core requirement and you can trust that if it feels like you have to force a connection, it may not be time for a soul relationship experience at that time. These sacred connections feel like you are in a never-ending vortex of love. You can be yourself all the way and not worry about being judged for any aspect of your being. It is completely safe.

THE PATH TO YOUR SOUL In order to have a Relationship with Soul, you have to merge with your own Soul. These soulcentered relationships do not operate well on a mental level with small doses of emotional connection. They thrive on a total SOUL connection which often include moments of silence filled with knowingness and love, excitement for each other’s desires and compassion for moments when we step out of our Soul Zone. Sacred relationships require that you take frequent inner journeys to meet and know your own soul and understand the true essence of who you are.

LOVE HEALS ALL

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These divine relationships are naturally filled with love that runs so deep you feel it across all time and space. There is nothing that can interfere with the love substance of these relationships.

The gift of consciously creating Relationships with Soul is that you heal. I love this quote “Where there is light, darkness must flee”. And so it is in these relationships. They heal you.

They expand you. They cover you in the divine elixir of soul love. And isn’t that what we all want?

To swim in the essence of love and feel it vibrating in our bones every single day?

You can truly create Soul Relationships with anyone: clients, colleagues, family members, strangers at the grocery store and friends. Filling the Relationship Quadrant of your life with sacred, soul-filled contracts will take your life to a level of

love, joy, gratitude, prosperity and purpose like never before.

Marilyn Rodriguez is “The Soul Compass Rose Coach” specializing in guiding thought leaders and visionaries to their TRUE purpose. She has shared the virtual stage with Marianne Williamson, Lisa Nichols and Marci Shimoff as well as other spiritual leaders. A third generation healer, Marilyn discovered her gifts at an early age and continues to transform lives with her gifts. Marilyn is available for one-on-one transformational soul compass rose coaching by application, media interviews and speaking engagements. For more information, contact Marilyn Rodriguez at marilyn@themarilynrodriguez.com or 256-2589357.

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FAMILY- CAN’T LIVE WITH OR WITHOUT THEM!

Ever notice how people talk about their families when they aren’t around? VERY DIFFERENT from when they are, right?

When we are young growing up, family is everything. We have friends which are truly our links to the “other” world, but at that age family is our lifeline. Then, we become teenagers and BAM! we start arguing, hating, disrespecting and misunderstanding anyone in our family. “It’s a right of passage”, at least that is what adults are saying at the time. Those moments of questioning who were are and who the hell are the people we live with are only the beginning.

Family relationships are complicated. They are complicated because while we are soulfully connected, we are all individual beings. Being connected to others makes us feel a part of something bigger than ourselves. We all want that, its human nature. Family feels like that connection automatically, but it’s not. The effort it takes to be an individual in a family setting is difficult, and sometimes impossible. We go into family dynam-

ics mode the instant we get around family. Oldest, youngest, middle child, only child, smartest one, silly one… we all get some label on us within our family. No matter how much time passes we still have that label. Truth is I believe it is when we begin to own “our label” that we truly break free enough to embrace it. I am the youngest one, the bitch, the planner, the baby, the got it together one. Sometimes it bothers me, sometimes I wear it like a badge, but it doesn’t define all of me and I know that. As an adult, I am able to see the value in the relationship I have with my family. The connection I have with my family isn’t about blood, location or circumstances its about support, trust and history. And it is unbreakable.

Life Coach for Young Women... I am a graduate of Teen Wisdom Life Coaching and Coaches Training Institute, with over 150 hours of coach training. My life experiences, as a nanny, teacher, and parent, combined with my extensive training make me the perfect coach to enhance the self work for young adults and teens. www.xoallison.com 10

“Love is first and foremost in thought, emotion and motivation for action”

OUR RELATIONSHIP WITH LOVE – LEADING WITH LOVE

“I cannot love anyone else unless I love myself; likewise, I cannot coach unless I am willing to be coached”

When I was 11 years old, I learned about the pure essence of a magnificent love during a near death experience. The human language cannot properly convey or give credence to my experience in the light other than to say it was the most sensational feeling of a spiritually embodying deep love and an intuitive knowingness like no other that I’ve ever felt before or since.

Long after that experience, I’ve come to understand that we are meant to live this life, together, in dialogue, sharing our journey of lessons in loss, sadness, forgiveness, acceptance, faith, and joy.

I know the truth of our human experience is not to learn what love is, but rather what our relationship is with love.

To love is, as we all know, is to have affection in a deeply emotive sense. The way in which we connect to our friends, co-workers, partners, or children, is as individual as each person. I love no 11

one person the same because no one is the same. The reasons I love are as unique as each personality.

Love is first and foremost in thought, emotion, and a motivation for action. It is within me. I practice mindful loving; I express gratitude, joy, and compassion. I am open and vulnerable too, when I am in relationship with love. I am fully immersed in my client’s well being. My clients feel me love them. I am vested in their happiness.

I have an unrelenting belief in my clients that is steeped in love. I learn from the depth and vulnerability of our relationship. I coach from not only my head, but also my heart seeking those “aha” insights that move my clients into a paradigm shift – becoming new observers of their lives.

My relationship with love is my best resource for coaching. I lead with love. I boldly challenge my clients into taking new actions in dramatic ways.

This would not be possible without a deep trust of the love between us. True love cannot be forced, it happens when we are in relationship with love.

I cannot love anyone else unless I love myself; likewise, I cannot coach unless I am willing to be coached. This is my relationship with love not only of self, but also of coaching. I seek to learn.

I attend experiential retreats and intensives. I surround myself in conversations with other coaches, with love.

My heart has been broken in love so many times and yet, I continue to surrender open to loving again and again because I know I am here to learn how to be in relationship with love. In ro-

mance, I have mistakenly chosen to love he who does not yet love himself. There cannot be only one of us in a relationship with love when there are two of us in the partnership. If a romantic relationship is to be a sustainable, collaborative, loving relationship then both of us must be in relationship with love to forge great love.

Parenting exponentially grows our relationship with love when we learn how to nurture, sacrifice and love unconditionally without attachment. The first time I held my babies not only did I feel my relationship with love strengthen, but also this new kind of protective ferocity emerged.

Our pets teach us the meaning of unconditional love in our relationship with them. I love my dog!

He depends on me to take care of him and in return, I receive his unending love. He forgives my moments of anger or forgetfulness. And when I am sad, he lifts my spirit. Other relationships with love include the arts, whether it is poetry, painting, sculpture, music or movie.

At a recent intensive, I had the honor of meeting fellow coach, Steve Hardison. His passion and affection are captivating. I can only say, I want to be loved the way he so conspicuously and courageously loves not only his wife - Amy, but also every person he comes into contact with during his day.

“Steve flirts with the world,” gushed Amy. He is a man who leads with love. He is affectionate with words, boldly sincere, and courageously vulnerable. He puts himself “out there” in order to inspire us to join him in a relationship with love. As coaches, every time we reach out and touch a heart or a life the world changes; with every kindness and act of service, seen or unseen our purpose is accomplished because at the end of the 12

day it is all about our relationships and leading with love.

I am a spiritual being in a physical world learning infinitum how to live in relationship with love. The coach-client relationship is a relationship with love.

Karen Davis is a certified Ontological Executive Coach providing one-on-one deep coaching with high-performing executives and business professionals who are committed to their success, ready to uncover their hidden potential and make their own unique difference in the world.

The origin for any coaching conversation is in the question, “What is OUR relationship with LOVE?�

Loving you.

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WANT BETTER RELATIONSHIPS? BEGIN WITH ACCEPTANCE

You fell in love with that person in all their perfections and imperfections. Continue to accept them for who they are at this time in your lives together.

Accepting those that you love will lead you to accepting yourself – loving yourself – more deeply than you ever dreamed.

As we move into the month of love, I regularly hear from clients that Valentine’s Day is a source of disappointment. They want grand romantic gestures and are disappointed when their loved ones don’t behave in the way they want.

What I have come to understand is that the key to becoming enchanted with my life is finding a deep love for what my current reality is and this applies to all my relationships.

You see, darling, when we choose to focus on what we don’t have, we are living in a state of constant reaching and searching and grabbing.

Instead of focusing on what you’re missing in the romance department, choose to clarify it, create it and communicate it.

Our romantic relationships don’t have be a source of stress or disappointment. And they certainly don’t have to be complicated. Relationships grow stronger when we get clear about what we desire and communicate those desires to those we love.

Love is acceptance and communication. Love is appreciation and forgiveness.

Relationships strengthen and grow when we make peace with those we love and ourselves.

Debra Smouse is an Intuitive Life Coach, Writer, and self-admitted Tarnished Southern Belle .

She can help you de-tangle the drama in your life, push away the need for perfection, use clutter busting as a path to clarity, and show you how to become besotted with the Art of Living.

Website: http://debrasmouse.com

It’s unfair to expect others to read our minds.

When we get into relationships, we want our partners to accept us and love us for who we are – warts and all. We want our partners to support us through the ups and downs of life as well.

And the flip side of that is that we accept the people we love for who they are – warts and all.

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“Misery is one of those things that loves to show up and hang around.”

UNCLE MISERY “Create and cultivate a group of people who are a part of your wonderful journey.”

“I have always held firmly to the thought that each one of us can do a little to bring some portion of misery to an end.” ~ Albert Schweitzer There is a relationship we have that can destroy our very being.

Whether you are a coach, a client, mother or father; this relationship I am speaking of can ruin lives.

I am speaking about our relationship to misery. Misery is one of those things that loves to show up and hang around. The problem with misery is, of course, that it loves company.

As a coach, my first step is to get my clients out of their so-called misery, whether it’s imagined or real. My clients cannot create miracles when misery is sitting by their side. I cannot listen and connect, if misery is also sitting by my side.

So let’s see what the relationship to misery is all about, and what we can do to remove it from our clients' lives... even more importantly, our own.

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P r o b l e m # 1 Misery Creates Community If we are not careful, misery can be contagious.

Our daily news broadcasts keep us entertained with misery. Our society connects when miserable things happen to us. People respect those “going through” misery, sometimes to a point of honoring the miserable person. Have you seen some religious fanatics? They often are known for telling you about the end of the world; how the world is a tragedy. We see thousands worship a miserable priest, who condemns their followers to a miserable world. If we are not careful, we feed off this misery, becoming a part of this community.

P r o b l e m # 2 Misery Demands Respect If you are reading this article in, then I already know you must be a fundamentally happy person. If you are not, then you might be aware of your lack of happiness, at times. This itself can lead to a change; a better path. For those that are considered happy in our society; you have everything in your life and you “made it”, what happens for you? People in misery may ask you why you are so happy. As if you shouldn’t be.

And if you don’t give them a reason for your happiness, you must be insane. They feel cheated that they don't have what you have . If we're not careful, we will often feel the need to repress our own happiness, to get to their level of misery.

W e ’ l l s a y t h i n g s l i k e : “Well, it took us a long time to get here.” “ Y o u d o n ’ t k n o w m y h a r d s h i p s . ” “ T h i s w a s d i f fi c u l t . . . ” “It’s not always going to be this great!”

If we are not careful, this relationship with misery that never existed, just may become an unwelcome guest in our house of happiness. I’ve been there, and I’ve been suckered by this relationship.

P r o b l e m # 3 People That are Miserable tell the world It’s the miserable ones that want to tell the world what is going on. It’s the miserable one’s that shout from the rooftops. This is not saying that some misery doesn't have merit. If you find someone who is miserable, don’t sympathize, ever. If someone is miserable you must help them, but you must never sympathize.

Why? Because in sympathizing with misery, you are deeming the feeling to be worthwhile. It will give the idea that misery has a place, a validation.

It’s all nonsense. Our job as coaches, parents, friends and family is to let others know of the ugly relationship with misery that resides within us. We need to let the person know the ugly truth about this relationship. The person in front of you must see that misery is ugly; that it’s not doing them or humanity a service. We need to let others know that there is nothing virtuous about it. The vanity is knowing about this relationship and cutting it off, immediately.

Osho, an Eastern Philosopher and Mystic once said, “Whenever you see a blissful person, respect him, he is holy, and wherever you feel a gathering which is blissful, festive, think of it as a sacred place.”

As I am writing this, I have realized the people that are a part of this iCoach community are residing in that sacred place, as mentioned 16

above. This is the community that allows me to shine , forcing the misery to darken. This community of transformative coaches; people living in light and sharing with others... is where we need to stay and continue to cultivate.

Often times, I forget the value of happiness and the value of the happy people around me. As contagious as misery is, happiness is equally contagious. The easiest way to get the happiness bug is to stick around it. Stick around the people that smile, laugh and don’t take the world too seriously.

Create and cultivate a group of people that are a part of your wonderful journey. Find a coach that won’t buy into your relationship with misery. Let them see the fruitfulness of living your wildest dreams and creating miracles. My coach didn’t even bother acknowledging my long lost relationship with misery; we were too busy finding things to create. I was ready to tell him about my misery, and to me it was important. He needed to know. Thankfully, this idea didn’t work for him.

Michael Neill, an extraordinary coach said, “The fastest way to get rid of relatives in your house is to stop feeding them.” Misery works in the same way. Stop feeding Uncle Misery and he won’t want to stay. He’ll find another house to be fed.

Unfortunately, too many people have opened their doors to allow misery in.

So, let’s get misery out of our life. Let us continue this year with love, happiness, and people who bring us closer to connecting. Let’s sever our relationship with misery, once and for all.

Once we have severed the relationship with misery, we can then see the lighted path to healing and transformation.

Are you ready?

Amir Karkouti, Author, Speaker, and Life Transformation Coach, understands the power of MIND OVER MATTER. He realized that coaching is similar to what he does for his father at least twice a month. Every once in a while, Amir's father spends at least 10 minutes looking for his glasses. He looks and looks and looks, and I show up and remind him that it's been on his head the whole time. My job as a coach is to remind you how amazing, brilliant and special you are. At times we can feel like we've lost those qualities. I get the pleasure of reminding my clients that they've never lost their true idea of themselves and to stop searching for them. He has recently finished writing his latest book called Lessons From My Coach; a book about becoming an extraordinary coach and attracting extraordinary clients. The book is expected to be available in March of 2014.

You are different and you know better. You know not to let your doors stay open long enough.

Should Uncle Misery decide to creep in, you know how to get him to the door. That’s your duty; your right to self-happiness.

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WHERE IS YOUR CONNECTION?

all connected -- even with those we seemingly have nothing in common.

Relationships are all around us, between us, and among us...

BUT are we really taking the time to intentionally connect? In this world of multitasking in which busy-ness is worn as a badge of honor and a justification for our very being in some cases, are we truly mindful when it comes to connection? Do we plant the seeds and cultivate the relationships that matter with love, kindness, and tenderness?

So, here’s the thing ... ALL of the relationships in our lives matter at some level.

We may not have a truly deep connection with each person in our lives, but we don’t know how our simple acts of kindness and compassion touch people on a daily basis... or do we know? I think we do. Every time we listen to someone with intent, we can be mindful of how it feels to be listened to in the same way. Every time we look someone in the eyes and say “thank you” or “good morning” we KNOW what a difference that would make to the start of our day if someone said the same to us. And that is because we are

How Can We Begin to Make the Connection?

1. Start with a morning routine to ground yourself i n g r a t i t u d e a n d i n t e n t i o n .

2 . F o l l o w w i t h a m e d i t a t i o n .

3. Give something to each person you meet or encounter that will create a connection between the two of you -- it doesn’t need to be something material -- a smile, a kind word, or an understanding look are all invaluable and often over looked in our busy mindless hustle from one task to the next.

I want to start a revolution of connection and community, even if it happens only one conversation at a time -- mindfully and intentionally. Because I think it is what we are all yearning for in our hearts.

Heather Doyle Fraser is a Transformational Life Coach and founder/owner of Beyond Change, LLC. As a coach, Heather works with intuitive people who feel blocked, stuck or lost in one or more areas of their lives. She holds the space for her clients as they move toward and acknowledge their inherent greatness while achieving their goals and vision for an extraordinary life.

Heather’s mission is to inspire joy and transformation and give people the knowledge, skills, and strategies to live their most authentic, connected, and fulfilled lives.

If you would like to learn more about coaching or contact Heather, please visit her website at www.beyondchangecoach.com or connect with her on Facebook or Twitter @hdoylefraser.

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“When your energy goes into the doubt, it cannot go into creating the container and your success will be blocked.”

RELATIONSHIP WITH SELF Relationship.

I stare at the word.

“My doubt and my fear is a statement of my doubt and fear of the source’s ability to create. Feeling or living with the belief that I must do it myself.”

Relationship... to others? to self? to Source? to your business? to your money? to your partner?

I hear my Spiritual Coach in my head saying "there is nothing more important than self love. That relationship to yourself - to your WHOLE self is the most meaningful thing you can cultivate in this lifetime." And I pause...

It's interesting that there's a theme amongst my clients (and myself) of connection, of belonging, of loving the idea of bringing together people that resonate with us. There's a mission to have deeper relationships, to not live a solitary life but to surround ourselves with others who believe in the greater version of who we are being in this moment.

I hear my Spiritual Coach in my head again, "You crave the connection of others because it is lacking within yourself. Where are

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you disconnected from your true self, the part of you that is ONE with Source and The Universe?"

Ah. We are never alone when we cultivate first our relationship with ourselves. Believing that we are capable of anything, in any moment, so deeply that doubt does not distract us from the knowing that it is already so.

I picked up the phone to hear the meltdown my client was having. She's been stretching herself, growing at a rapid rate and it was all catching up with her, like new skin rubbing against a rough surface, easily scraped if not protected. She's creating a community of creative souls to come together and support one another in their business and personal growth. In order to call in these people, she must dig deep within herself to be a leader, to be whole, to walk the path a step or two ahead so that she can take their hand and lead them down it. Holding that container has an energetic price, and her doubt in her abilities was making  the price too high.

When your energy goes into the doubt, it cannot go into creating the container and your success will be blocked.

We see people who have made quantum leaps in their business. Is it possible that their doubts and their self judgement first had to be released? And once released can you imagine how much energy was freed? All that energy tied up in self judgement, self doubt, self riotousness exploding out into the world, available to be put into creating awesomeness? Self love just feeds that energy, stoking the fires of passion and creativity, allowing you to come forth and succeed in ways you had not anticipated...

"Lots of energy is expended as one explores the concept of fixing something that can never be broken. Where are you feeling the resistance in your life? Where are the tugs and pulls that get your attention away from your highest interest? Every single thought you have creates your reality and changes your level of success".

Every single thought. As my Spiritual Coach says this to me a deep sense of overwhelm courses through my body. I judge myself for thoughts that hold my energy hostage. I doubt that I will ever be capable of changing all of my thoughts. I feel what happens as I go from loving myself to thinking I'm a pile of spiritual refuse. So I surrender. I surrender to the idea that I have to control my thoughts. I surrender to the idea that I can force change. Know that as I paint the picture of my life I have the ability to see where it is not quite right and I can paint right over it.

My doubt and my fear is a statement of my doubt and fear of the Source's ability to create. Feeling or living with the belief that I must do it myself.

I AM NEVER ALONE. I see in that moment how my relationship to myself ripples into every single area of my life. And as I hear my client in the midst of this energy I know, that if we can shift the doubt everything will open up.

So let's start with observing... noticing where the paint isn't quite right, hearing consciously the judgement we place on others, on ourselves, seeing where we are buying into doubt or self loathing. Can you notice those thoughts that rob us of a beautiful relationship with ourselves and others?

all because you released that which no longer served you.

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Let me be aware, this day, of any judgement that I step into and that I buy into. One thought at a time.

One thought at a time we can transform our relationship with our selves. We can start to feel loved and loving. We can release the stories that we've painted and choose the path where belonging and community and collaboration exist seamlessly alone or with others.

YOU ARE NEVER ALONE.

Stacy Nelson is the Founder of iCoach Network, an International circle of life coaches coming together to support and inspire each other on a daily basis. Keeping with the theme of ‘As one rises, we lift each other up”, Stacy also publishes this monthly digital magazine for iCoach Network, highlighting the fabulous coaches within the network. Specifically she is a Coach & Trainer helping intuitive entrepreneurs to market with their hearts and tap into their authentic purpose through their businesses.

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