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IMPACT
Streaking, shagging and sick:
Nottingham’s craziest Freshers’ Confessions
Poppy Read-Pitt compiles some of the most outrageous (and hilarious) University tales submitted to Impact by last year’s Freshers.
Freshers - a week of alcohol induced debauchery limited only by you and your stomach’s will to go on - is always messy for those involved. And if you thought a global pandemic might have changed that, you’d be very wrong.
“One night in Freshers, I got absolutely shitfaced. I woke up completely naked in a shower at about five in the morning, with the water still running and my clothes in a wet pile by the door. I was still really drunk, so I came out of the shower, dripping wet and completely naked, then walked down the corridor to my room. When I tried to open the door, however, I found that it was locked. That’s when I checked the number and realised it wasn’t even my room. But not only that, I was in completely the wrong block, on the other side of my halls. Thankfully, no one answered the door, so I grabbed my clothes from the shower and streaked through the whole building, completely naked, back to my actual room. To this day, I am so fucking thankful that no one answered that door.” - Anonymous
“In Freshers, I went to one of the Rock City sit-down sessions with my flatmates. I’m a massive lightweight, but I’m also really stubborn, so when my mates said I couldn’t match them with drinks, I was certain I could. We arrived at Rock City at around 7 pm, and I don’t remember a single thing past 7:45 pm. My mates told me that I managed to vomit all over the table before I actually made it to the loo. I must have then passed out, because I was carried back to the table by two bouncers. Apparently, I was just constantly vomiting outside and every Uber refused to take us as we were all being sick. One of the bouncers even told my mates to leave me on the side of the road! Luckily, one of us was slightly less shit-faced, and actually came from Nottingham, so he called his friend to take us back to campus. Again, I have literally zero memory of this but apparently, his mate drives a really nice car and I managed to throw up all over it! I woke up in the morning feeling like actual death and covered in my own sick. Can’t recommend it.” - Anonymous