'Freshers Edition'

Page 14

14

IMPACT

Streaking, shagging and sick:

Nottingham’s craziest Freshers’ Confessions

Poppy Read-Pitt compiles some of the most outrageous (and hilarious) University tales submitted to Impact by last year’s Freshers.

Freshers - a week of alcohol induced debauchery limited only by you and your stomach’s will to go on - is always messy for those involved. And if you thought a global pandemic might have changed that, you’d be very wrong.

“One night in Freshers, I got absolutely shitfaced. I woke up completely naked in a shower at about five in the morning, with the water still running and my clothes in a wet pile by the door. I was still really drunk, so I came out of the shower, dripping wet and completely naked, then walked down the corridor to my room. When I tried to open the door, however, I found that it was locked. That’s when I checked the number and realised it wasn’t even my room. But not only that, I was in completely the wrong block, on the other side of my halls. Thankfully, no one answered the door, so I grabbed my clothes from the shower and streaked through the whole building, completely naked, back to my actual room. To this day, I am so fucking thankful that no one answered that door.” - Anonymous

“In Freshers, I went to one of the Rock City sit-down sessions with my flatmates. I’m a massive lightweight, but I’m also really stubborn, so when my mates said I couldn’t match them with drinks, I was certain I could. We arrived at Rock City at around 7 pm, and I don’t remember a single thing past 7:45 pm. My mates told me that I managed to vomit all over the table before I actually made it to the loo. I must have then passed out, because I was carried back to the table by two bouncers. Apparently, I was just constantly vomiting outside and every Uber refused to take us as we were all being sick. One of the bouncers even told my mates to leave me on the side of the road! Luckily, one of us was slightly less shit-faced, and actually came from Nottingham, so he called his friend to take us back to campus. Again, I have literally zero memory of this but apparently, his mate drives a really nice car and I managed to throw up all over it! I woke up in the morning feeling like actual death and covered in my own sick. Can’t recommend it.” - Anonymous


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Articles inside

Impact Reviews Recommends

2min
page 57

England vs Italy: A Breakdown

3min
page 56

BUCS: What is it And How Can Your Get Involved?

2min
page 55

10 Ways to get the Most out of your UON Sports Membership

2min
page 54

From Nottingham to Tokyo: A Former Student’s Journey to The Olympics

4min
pages 52-53

The Ultimate Nottingham Gig Guide

2min
pages 50-51

Interview: Nottingham’s Very Own ‘Blondes’

4min
pages 48-49

An Interview with Recovered Gaming Addict James Good

3min
page 47

In Conversation with Gamesoc

2min
page 46

The Cult and Indie Film Recommendations Every Fresher Deserves

5min
pages 44-45

Merry and Wise: Folktales of Nottingham

1min
pages 42-43

Beauty In Mundanity: Top Beauty Spots in Notts

3min
pages 40-41

Societies, Societies, Societies

6min
pages 38-39

Behind The Frontline: A Freshers’ Survival Guide To The Student Kitchen

2min
page 33

Time For Some Mental Weeding: New Uni Allotments Combat Student Stress

1min
page 32

I Can’t Find Any Four-Leaf Clovers: A Poem For Our Planet

1min
page 31

How University Enabled me to Change my Style

2min
page 27

Hang In There: The Science Behind the Post-Night Out Plague

2min
page 30

The Death of the Gap Year: Ideas to Resurrect Your Travel Plans

3min
pages 28-29

A Freshers’ Guide to Nottingham

4min
pages 24-25

Nottingham’s Second-Hand Scene

1min
page 26

Comment: A Letter to an Antivaxxer

2min
pages 22-23

Comment: Cultural War Mongering is a Sinister Political Tool

2min
page 21

A Social Media Detox Diary

2min
page 20

Interview with Lilian Greenwood MP

4min
pages 18-19

Welcome to Notts, We’re All Sluts Here

2min
pages 16-17

Freshers’ Craziest Confessions

4min
pages 14-15

Mini News Stories

4min
pages 6-7

Meet your SU Officers

5min
pages 10-11

‘Blended Learning’ to Continue in 21/22

2min
pages 12-13

Investigation: Rising Student-Local Tensions in Lenton

5min
pages 8-9
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