August 2019 by injoymagazine

August 2019 Now Quarterly

I n J oy Magazine

A Collaboritave platform for art, encouragement and loving life in the bay

Be your true self InJoy Magazine, August 2019

This month....

#injoyself Tell us about your true self... and how you stay that way Social Media Engagement www.injoymagazine.com

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InJoy Magazine, August 2019

What’s Inside...

6.........Be Who you Are by Gabbie Miner

8.....Small Deeds, Great Love “Name it to Tame it”

by Chelsea Harrison

12.....

Life Flashing

Dana Swoyer

Know your worth

Angelique Mosley......18

20 -A Book Review of City of Girls 21 -Hair Removal Trick 22.........Sometimes and Always by CJ Smith InJoy Magazine, August 2019

Crystal Editor, InJoy

InJoy Magazine, August 2019

Now, fist-bump yourself

InJoy Magazine, August 2019

Be who you are

love happy things. Positive quotes, butterflies, lilies, pictures, birds, spreading love. I love puzzles, games, walking, singing, listening to music. I have always loved inspirational quotes, and doing fun things as a family. I have had a lot of darkness in my life and for some reason God filled my heart with hope and a perseverance that you can’t shake. Because I refuse to let anyone. In fact. The only time I am shaken is when I shake myself. I feed on crap words someone has said and make them my own thoughts. But oh, those inspiring words on posters or painted picture decor. Those were my addiction. I couldn’t get enough and I still can’t. Because once you have seen darkness, you know souls need light everywhere they turn. I imagine my children holding some of the quotes from wall decor deep in their hearts and minds to have great meaning to them once they are out in the world of their own accord. I’ve annoyed for my love of happy words and love of love. I’ve overwhelmed people, or just triggered some restful grump monster inside their souls. Done it to people closest to me, and far away. When I was a teen I started seeing hearts everywhere. Rocks while hiking, leaves, water spills, gouges in the road, clouds, concrete, food, etc. It’s who I am. My heart is pure with love and hope and faith and perseverance. And no one gets to tell me otherwise. I have felt my heart beat within my chest since the dawn of my time. Closest to me or far away, you don’t get to tell me what my heart is made of. You don’t. I am who I am. No one gets to decide who I am, but me. And no one gets to decide who you are, but YOU. Be who you are. Who you want to be.

InJoy Magazine, August 2019

by Gabbie Miner

Sketch your happy things...

InJoy Magazine, August 2019

“We can do no great things. Only small things with great love.”

Small Deeds, Great Love Chelsea Harrison

“Name it to tame it!” I

have a saboteur named Helen. If you’re a fan of comedy movies, you might recognize Helen from the movie Bridesmaids. Helen is perfect and she makes me feel the need to be perfect, even though, most days I’m a little sloppy and goofy, albeit authentic, like Kristen Wiig’s character. Helen is not real and “saboteur,” in this context, is a term I learned in a life coach training program led by the inimitable Jen Lara (jenlara.com) and Sue Abuelsamid (constantjourneycoaching.com) at Anne Arundel Community College. As Jen and Sue explained in our transformative nine-day training, a saboteur is one of those nasty little voices you hear in your head that keeps you from being your authentic and best self (oh snap, she just brought this thing around to this month’s theme!) Saboteurs yap like tiny dogs. They clamp their jaws onto the hems of our clothes and drag us backwards. They are the red-clad devils that sit on our shoulders and whisper in our ears. They tell us

InJoy Magazine, August 2019

they we are not good enough, we are imposters, we should conform, we should feel guilty, and we should be able to do it all (sound familiar?) During our training, Jen and Sue encouraged us to name our saboteurs; “Name it to tame it!” they said. Whatever that means, came my mental response. And then, later that day, we were practicing a coaching skill I wasn’t comfortable with. I could feel my hesitation to engage because I didn’t think I was good enough yet. I didn’t want to do it if I couldn’t do it exactly right. And then Helen came to me. Helen, the perfectionist saboteur who bullies me into inaction with her unrealistic standards. Helen, who says, This is not the best you could do. You’re just not very good at this, are you? And once Helen had a name, I could tell her to shut-up. Helen, shut-up. I’m practicing- I don’t need to be perfect! And Helen was tamed, for awhile, anyway. Not to mix movie metaphors, but this process of naming it to tame it is much like

“Saboteurs yap like tiny dogs”

in the Boggart creature from the Harry Potter series. One must recognize that the haunting apparitions are of our own creation and once we have done that, we can control them. We can turn our worst fears into something riddikulus! I know Helen is not my authentic self, but she is a part of myself. And she isn’t all bad! Our saboteurs bring us gifts, too. Helen brings the gifts of ambition and motivation.

SDGL Plan of action: Get to know that saboteur!

So our task this month is to name your saboteurs (or at least one!)- name them to tame them! Be who you are and don’t listen to those saboteurs. Accept their gifts and then tell them to get the hell out, leave me alone! Because when our saboteurs are tamed, we can get back to being our authentic, amazing selves and rocking the world.

InJoy Magazine, August 2019

What is his/her/its name?

What saboteur bothers you the most?

What does the saboteur say?

How do you know when this saboteur has arrived?

InJoy Magazine, August 2019

What does the saboteur look like? sound like? smell like? (Have fun and be creative here! I think Helen would smell like some expensive French (obviously) perfume.)

What are the gifts it brings?

What would be possible if that saboteur was not around anymore?

InJoy Magazine, August 2019

Life Flashing by Dana Swoyer

InJoy Magazine, August 2019

Spam!

(just keep reading)

know what you’re thinking; Another story of doom and gloom with a catastrophic ending until a final twist of fate helped the character claw their way back to safety, peril overthrown. They broke through the surface so to speak, filled their lungs with air and went on to live a little wiser, having learned a lesson or two about the value of life. Well… …That’s not what this is about. Not even close. This story is about my very first life drawing lesson. Yes, drawing. For those of you not of the artistic persuasion, life drawing usually involves a live model, a person. They can be male or female and the model is typically nude. They get paid decent bucks to hold very still, change positions, and not to engage in conversation with the artists. Now, I’ve been dabbling in art all my life. Any given day you may find me throwing clay on the wheel, drawing, painting, working with textiles, you name it. One thing I always wanted to do is take a life drawing class. My ‘real jobs’ as a radiographer and massage therapist have piqued my curiosity of human anatomy probably more than many. I’ve always marveled at the great masters and just wanted to learn how to create lifelike drawings, and so, off to Life Drawing 101 I went!

InJoy Magazine, August 2019

I couldn’t wait to learn how to draw our model and I had a pretty good vision of what she would look like. I walked into the studio classroom, planted my drawing horse chair/easel just ten degrees from center stage where she would pose. I was so happy to have a ringside seat, front row all the way! Nothing was going to obscure my view for this! I set my workspace up with several charcoal pencils, kneadable erasers, smudge sticks et all and eagerly waited for class to start. I imagined our model was going to have that classic Renaissance figure and I couldn’t wait to learn how to capture the loveliness of her shape. I was sure hers would be a body composed of curvy legs, a round bottom and pleasantly plush from stem to stern. I was going to learn how to bring the contour of her neck and shoulders, face and expression to life. How to draw her eyes so they looked as if they were casting their gaze to the floor. I was going to learn how to draw her bosom that was slightly covered by her bent arms, her lovely fingers as they rested just below her throat… (enter the sound of a hi-fi needle scratching across an album here) Lesson number one: Do not assume. Ok, so, my expectation of the curvy pinup girl model ended up being someone…entirely different. Allow me to introduce you to Raymond. Raymond had accrued many years experience as a life drawing model. In age I’d guess him to be somewhere in the neighborhood of say, eighty to maybe one hundred and twelve years old. Raymond was very tall and even with the kyphotic curve of his thoracic spine he still

must have stood at least six feet tall. He had a slender build but remnants of a more muscular composition from yesteryear still existed. His legs went all the way up to his spine, completely bypassing his butt because he simply didn’t have any cheeks to speak of. His legs were long and skinny, almost like a Egret, with the exception of two enormously bulbous, arthritic knees. His feet were gnarly and twisted with one club foot and both had toes bending in all directions. Despite his very slender build, his belly was distended and totally disproportionate to the rest of his physique. The front of Raymond’s neck went from his chin to somewhere mid sternum, his shoulders were skeletally pronounced and his arms seemed longer than most peoples. His face? Well, his eyes were large with heavy lids, and when he smiled they changed shape, I liked that. I couldn’t determine if he had a handsome face or not – it was kind of similar to how you just can’t decide if Rocky was good looking or homely. Lesson number two: A model is a model. Ordering their body type al a carte isn’t an option. Anyway, I don’t know how many people are lined up to stand naked in front of strangers and I appreciated Raymond in all of his willingness to be our model, including the what you see is what you get part. Despite my brief disappointment that we didn’t have a voluptuous Marilyn figure to learn from, I immediately settled in on my determination to accept the challenge. I rearranged my own fleshy cheeks, straddled my drawing horse easel, straightened my spine, opened my mind and was ready to absorb what the instructor had to teach 13

us. Bring on Raymond! I was ready! Our instructor explained we would be doing short, three to five minute gesture drawings and Raymond was instructed to go ahead and begin with any pose he wanted. With that, he replied with a comfortable “alrighty” and like a flash, his shirt was tossed onto a chair back on the side of the stage. I remember a slight whiplash in my neck when my head yanked in the direction of the shirt and back to Raymond. I guess I wasn’t expecting him to be so abrupt but it was no big deal because he was after all, a guy and someone who’s been taking his clothes off for centuries. But still… Lesson number three: Just when you think you’ve seen it all… Now, call me a prude, but I assumed our model would duck behind the partition, disrobe, wrap up in a sheet, a towel, a kleenex, something – and come out, tactfully reveal himself and we would begin. That isn’t exactly how it played out. Just as quickly as his shirt went flying across the room, Raymond slipped his thumbs into the waist of his shorts and with the flexibility of a rubber band, bent his torso completely in half, yanking his pants to the floor. And there it was, six feet away, every puckered detail of Raymond’s pigeonhole was staring at me and it was five billion times more information that I ever needed, e v e r. Yet, there it was, leaving me and the student next to me struggling with all kinds of artist etiquette. Like where to put our eyes, and how to refrain from making any audible or visual gasps. If the rapid reveal wasn’t bad enough, he had trouble stepping out of his shorts so now his cheekless anus danced a jig for InJoy Magazine, August 2019

a few moments. Finally, he stepped out of his shorts and stood up. I say that like it was some kind of relief but the truth is, it just doesn’t matter because there is no relief to be had. That image is emblazed into my retina and memory forever. For-effing-ever. So far, life drawing sure wasn’t how I imagined it would be. The (rest of the) nakedness of Raymond didn’t bother me. Oh sure, I have the medical background but like any other artist out there, the human body is not only beautiful, but it might be one of the most difficult of subject matter to draw. This is especially true if your goal was to draw lifelike, and that was after all, what I signed up for.

Which brings me to… Lesson number four: Sometimes Life Drawing lessons give you more than you bargained for. What I said about nudity not being an issue with me is true. But let’s face it, some things are just impossible not to notice and at that specific moment when he turned to face us, it was clear that in his day, Raymond was probably a bit of a stud. But even so, it was just a penis. I was there to learn how to draw his entire body with correct proportion, accurate foreshortening, creating a three dimensional effect with the use of correct shading techniques. After recovering from the swan dive trauma, I was 14

not phased by his genitalia, aging or otherwise. …until… The instructor wanted him to do the first session of gesture poses from a standing position. She wanted to show us how regardless of habitus, there are certain ‘givens’ as far as landmarks where a body part aligns with a particular point of other anatomy. An example would be the space between the eyes. It’s almost always the width of the eye itself. The same holds true for the inner canthus of the eye - it draws an imaginary line to the outside corners of the mouth. The tip of the middle finger almost always rests at a certain level of the thigh, and so on for the rest of the body. Standing poses were the instructions Raymond was given, and standing poses were exactly what we got. However… I just felt ‘it’ coming. Raymond was up there preparing for our first pose. He reached for a long wooden dowel and held it like a staff. He looked left and right in contemplation for just a moment and his eyes settled on a chair. “No.” I said in my head. “Don’t.” But he did. Facing me and my fellow students head on, Raymond planted that staff down with his right hand and regal as you please, set his gaze off to the corner of the room and hiked one foot up on a stool. What happened next was gravity in motion. A heavy, pendulous sack of spam came thudding down. It kind of just hung there, wobbling slightly to and fro, gently bobbing against his skinny thighs. Without moving my head my eyes shifted to the side, meeting those of my new friend and we shared a moment of “just…no” between us. Finally everything was still and we began to draw. The teacher critiqued as we did with encouraging compliments InJoy Magazine, August 2019

like a mother gives her child. We took breaks and looked at each others drawings. Some were so good you wondered why they were there, but most of us found comfort that our drawings looked like something done in third grade, and that was ok. Time ran out, Raymond got dressed and made his way around the room to view our gesture interpretations of him, spam and all. I thanked him for his willingness to participate in our class even though it felt awkward to talk to him, all things considered. Although I can’t imagine being a nude model once let alone for many years, but he was totally comfortable doing so and we were all grateful. As we packed up our gear, the instructor gave us a small preview of the class to come, stating how lucky we were that our model had a lot of experience and she would keep the poses fresh. “She!” I thought. Oh, hurray, “she” is coming. I was glad. But the next class came and “she” wasn’t there. Raymond was there sans shock value that time because we knew what to expect from him. Well, unless you count the time he pulled a folded chair from the lot and sat on it without a towel. Class three. Raymond. Class four…again. There were only three classes left. By class five Raymond came in again and I was probably painfully transparent, showing more disappointment than intended to. I turned to my friend and whispered “I’m just so tired of drawing Raymond and his penis.” To which my friend replied “me tooo.” We drew him anyway.

“She” finally showed up on the sixth class. And so did Raymond. The instructor had them fully clothed and sitting down on those chairs and we drew their feet. That was it. We drew their feet. Needless to say, life drawing lessons taught me a lot about expectations, appreciation, perseverance, and disappointment from an artists point of view. I was glad to have taken the class and even though I now live on the other side of our continent, I’m still finding just as many artistic challenges and experiences to learn from. I even had a second life drawing lesson/dinner party event and I got to bring my daughter. The model was a man much younger than Raymond who did disrobe more eloquently. There was nothing earth shattering about his normal physique and it astounded me how long he could support himself on one arm for any length of time. Nothing worthy to talk about. No animated story. Well, except that final pose when the cat walked in and became curious about the spam. But that’s a story for another time.

What is your creative outlet?

If you could try something new, what would it be?

What would you never try?

InJoy Magazine, August 2019

Inspirational Leaders Wanted Together we have a voice, and it’s louder than when we scream alone...

~ Products that bring out the best

Looking for reviews/suggestions of products that share the

views of InJoy’s encouragement and laughter

~ Real Stories

Our readers love your stories. As a community, we bring

eachother together by sharing our own stories.

~ How to... Are you a Saavy DIYer? If so, share your secrets...and for god’s sake, someone tell me how to chalk paint that dresser!

Always looking for more of this... Poetry Real-Life Stories Short Stories Recipies

InJoy Magazine, August 2019

Know Your Worth

by Angelique Mosley

I’m

46 soon to be 47 years old. I love honeycomb and apple jacks (hence my nickname AJ) cereal. I love old cartoons like G.I. Joe and Jem and the Holograms (I don’t care what anyone says the live action movie was awesome). I love kung fu movies or horror movies with one liners. I absolutely love to write. All in all, I love me. But once upon a time I didn’t. I was picked on, talked about, bullied and that was just school. I liked myself well enough but I didn’t love myself. It took getting a divorce after 3.5 years of being married to a narcissist who cared only about himself for the light bulb to finally go off. Why? Because being with him was the most exhausting, soul wearying, draining, emotionally damaging experience I’d ever gone through. Coming out of a situation like that forces you to take stock of yourself. Battered, bruised, weary and raw around the edges, it’s almost like dealing with a

InJoy Magazine, August 2019

feral animal. It’s a dark place that without God, his grace, a full support system and possibly a therapist it’s harder to come out of. Knowing your worth means loving yourself unconditionally flaws and all. Knowing your worth means having standards, boundaries and unapologetically sticking to them, no matter who doesn’t like it. Knowing your worth means taking care of yourself first. Knowing your worth means not taking anything from anyone. Knowing your worth means knowing it’s ok to live your life not being looked past, left on the sidelines, being overlooked or outright forgotten. 18

Knowing your worth means it’s ok to cut any and everything, any and everyone that is negative or toxic out of your life. Knowing your worth means it’s ok to seek help if you need it. Knowing your worth means it’s ok to say no. At the end of the day you only have one life to live. You owe it to yourself and everyone else to make it the best life possible. There’s only one you, with your strengths, weaknesses, talents and abilities. Get out there and shine. The only way to do so is by knowing your worth. I know mine.

Do you know yours??

InJoy Magazine, August 2019

A long overdue... ...book review

City of Girls by Elizabeth Gilbert

(Same author as Eat, Pray, Love)

ast month I read a book that significantly impacted me and my view on how I live my life. As we all know, society demands certain things of us. We must be chaste, responsible, considerate…really, we could go on and on. And please don’t get me wrong, we should certainly strive to be the best person we could possibly be. But we should be true to ourselves while doing so. If we want to become an actress performing on a spotlighted stage, do that then. If you’d prefer to turn your creativity into beautiful dresses and costumes, do that then. If you’d rather spend evenings at the local bar with a book, then why on earth would you let anyone stop you? (consideration of family and responsibilities, of course) This story was especially fitting to this month’s theme. In City of Girls by Elizabeth Gilbert, the character Vivian recalls her life story in a long (whole book’s worth) letter to a young woman, Angela. Vivian goes on and on, in very vivid detail about her youth in 1940’s New York City theater world. I kept

InJoy Magazine, August 2019

thinking to myself throughout the entire first half, ‘why is Vivian retelling in such detail the events of this one year in particular’? Then the story breaks…hard. And trust me, it all makes perfect sense. But I’m not going to give away the secret! Just know there is a reason for her retelling in such detail because as life happens, one insignificant event leads to another and another until the insignificant things become major life changes. Vivian wanted so badly for Angela to know the real her, to understand her, to come across as a real imperfect person that made some bad decisions and that’s ok. That’s just who we are, human and imperfect. Because as Vivian grew older and wiser, she realized being true to herself was the most important thing. How many times have we stressed the same fact within the pages of this publication? I would highly encourage you to pick up a

A long overdue... ...Beauty Item review

Finishing Touch

Flawless women’s painless hair remover

Now ladies, I know we’ve been talking all issue about being true to yourself. However, let me make myself clear: This DOES NOT apply to hair removal. Yes, there are ladies out there who simply refuse to shave claiming feminism, sexism…and you go girl! Me, on the other hand, I hate hair. So if there’s a product out there that can help me feel less like a 19th century Persian princess and more like a silky smooth woman, I’m all for it! This product came highly recommended to take care of those ridiculous and embarrassingly stubbly hairs on my upper lip, and yes, chin. Now, this is a ‘rotary shaver’, which means hair will grow back. I’m sorry ladies, but the only way to semi-permanent hair removal is through laser treatments at your dermatologist. This is the next best thing. It’s petite, feminine and discrete.

Persian Princess

No one want’s their husband (or boyfriend/girlfriend) catching them shaving their face in the shower, do they? InJoy Magazine, August 2019

Sometimesâ&#x20AC;Śand always Sometimes you have to sleep when your tired. Sometimes you have to order pizza when you donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t feel like cooking Sometimes you have to eat chocolate Sometimes you have to eat celery Sometimes you have to take your jiggly butt for a run But Sometimes you should binge-watch Sex in the City Sometimes you need to spend time with your family Sometimes you need to get dressed up and take yourself out Sometimes you have to visit a friend or family member in the hospital Sometimes you have to push through the exhaustion and just get the job done Sometimes you need to leave it to other people Sometimes you need to be there for a friend And sometimes you need to let your friends go Always, you need to love yourself first Always, say please and thank you Always, keep your enemies and adversaries in your prayers Always, lock your car doors at night

InJoy Magazine, August 2019

Give yourself a few...

Sometimes

Sometimes Sometimes

Sometimes

Sometimes Always Always

Always

InJoy Magazine, August 2019

Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t forget to write...

InJoy Magazine, August 2019