GRANDparenting
Who’s the Boss?
I
Susan Gnucci is a local author and a proud “nonna” to two young grandsons. She enjoys sharing her experiences as a grandparent.
24 GRAND
’ve always had a good relationship with my 7-year-old grandson. Along with his other grandparents, I’ve played an integral role in his life from the day he was born. But I’ve noted a definite shift in our relationship this past summer. He’s entered what I call the “You’re not the boss of me” stage. Whereas he once used to be compliant when it came to suggestions and direction, he will now sometimes put up resistance and even the occasional outright challenge. So a spur-of-the moment change of plans might now be met with—“I don’t like your ideas, Nonna.” Or reminding him to get dressed in the morning might prompt the complaint, “You’re bossy.” And an-
nouncing bedtime might result in the classic, “You’re not my mommy!” This isn’t at all unexpected; after all, this isn’t my first rodeo, so I certainly don’t take it to heart. But my approach in dealing with this stage is very different with my grandson than it was with his father (my son). As a parent, I took a much harder line—“As a matter of fact, I AM the boss of you and you’ll do as I say.” I soon discovered, however, that that approach didn’t always work well when it came to a willful child. I was often met with responses from my son ranging from, “Well, I want a different mommy” to “I’m going to trade you in for a new mommy,”, or even the ultimate heart-breaker— “I wish I had so-and-so’s mommy.”
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