GRAND Vol. IV, Ed. II
grandmag.ca
Move Well & age Gracefully Grandfathered An excerpt
From the Start A birth
Q&a
Victor & Edith newman Master Carver & Textile Artist
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CONTENTS
4 6 10
7 Grand: Ideas + Inspiration Profile: Victor & Edith Newman On the importance of spending time together, conversation, inclusion, leading by example and the value of community involvement.
From the Start: A Birth
Being there for the birth of a grandchild. raCHEL dUnSTan MULLEr
12
Move Well & Age Gracefully
How practicing mindful movement when you exercise improves your potential for moving well as you age. LESLIE HOPKInS
14
Pandemic Grandparent
Becoming a new grandmother in a pandemic requires a few modifications. aPrIL BUTLEr
16
Shutterbug
One grandmother’s obsession with capturing life on film. JaCQUI GraHaM
18 20
Fort Rodd Hill
Where history comes alive.
Grandfathered: Dispatches from the Trenches of Modern Grandparenthood
Being a grandfather doesn’t mean acting like one in these boomer grandpa days. Ian HaYSOM
22
Frosty Summer Treats
A delicious way to cool down! EMILLIE ParrISH
24
The Best Places on Vancouver Island to take Family Photos
4 top Island photographers weigh in their favourite places for a family photo shoot.
28
Feelings First
30
The Value of Volunteering
Helping your grandchildren navigate BC’s restart plan and new social situations.
Getting Together & Spending Time
a
sk most people what they missed most during the pandemic and chances are they’ll tell you “each other.” Sure social media and virtual visits helped us stay connected, but they’re nothing compared to actually being together—the physical proximity, face-to-face conversations, holding hands, telling stories and the hugs… ooohhh the hugs! Few of us will argue on the importance of getting together and spending time in each other’s company. Not only is gathering together enjoyable, but it also nurtures our relationships and promotes a sense of belonging and community. A simple walk in the woods with friends or family can leave us feeling inspired, rejuvenated and connected. In The Art of Gathering: How We Meet and Why It Matters, author Priya Parker has said that at the core of any gathering there should be a sense of purpose for coming together. With grandkids, that’s easy: being together is purpose enough! And on an island so rich with possible outings and adventures, there’s never any shortage of things to do. To that end, this issue of GRAND features articles on topics ranging from the best places on Vancouver Island to take family photos, moving
well and aging gracefully, and cooling down with frosty treats, to being at your grandchild’s birth, the value of volunteering, and dispatches from the trenches of new grandparenthood. There’s 7 Grand, a compilation of ideas and inspiration to help keep you in-the-know and connected to community, there’s an article on becoming
a grandparent during the pandemic, and there’s a profile on master carver Victor Newman and textile artist Edith Newman about the importance of family, conversation, leading by example and the value of community involvement. We hope this issue of GRAND inspires you to gather with those you love, to revel in each other’s company and to appreciate every moment we have together.
Ways to make a difference.
Jim Schneider Publisher publisher@islandparent.ca
ON THE COVER Victor & Edith newman Photo by don denton
GRAND Vol. IV, Ed. II
grandmag.ca
Move Well & Age Gracefully Grandfathered An excerpt
From the Start A birth
Q&A
Victor & Edith Newman Master Carver & Textile Artist
grandmag.ca
Sue Fast Editor editor@islandparent.ca Kristine Wickheim Account Manager kristine@islandparent.ca raeLeigh Buchanan Account Manager raeleigh@islandparent.ca
250-388-6905
Grand, published by Island Parent Group Enterprises Ltd., is a quarterly publication that honours and supports grandparents by providing information on resources and businesses for families and a forum for the exchange of ideas and opinions. Views expressed are not necessarily those of the publisher. No material herein may be reproduced without the permission of the publisher. Grand is distributed free in selected areas.
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BC Vol. IV, Ed. II
3
Ideas + Inspiration
7Grand
Hugs for Kids Club
Stigma-Free Zone
Every Child Matters
The Children’s Health Foundation of Vancouver Island’s Hugs for Kids Club supports health programs that help children and families in our community to thrive, regardless of their medical concerns. Your automatic monthly gift is the easiest and most efficient way to make a significant contribution that will improve the lives of countless children and families. Monthly gifts also reduce the costs of processing donations, so more of your donation is going directly to Island kids and families. Start, change or stop your gift anytime. Visit islandkidsfirst. com/monthly-giving.
Stigma is a mark of disgrace associated with a particular circumstance, quality, or person that sets a person apart from the norms of society. The Stigma-Free Tool is a simple and engaging way to assess your attitudes around stigma and to see where you can improve your actions and thoughts around the topic of stigma. This isn’t a judgement, but simply a way for you to look inside yourself and see if you are living stigma-free. You will receive a percentage at the end of the activity along with more ways to examine your perceptions and suggestions on how to take action.
To honour the 215 Indigenous children found by the Tk’emlups te Secwepemc First Nation at a former residential school in Kamloops, Indigenous artist Carey Newman has designed the heart and hands orange shirt and is also offering the feather design, from previous years. Child and adult sizes; $15 for kids’ shirts, $25 for adults. All proceeds go to the Witness Blanket Legacy Fund (witnessblanket.ca) and the Orange Shirt Day Society. (orangeshirtday.org). To order, email 215orangeshirts@gmail. com.
stigmafreesociety.com
4
Grand
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Summer Literacy
Slow Down Kids Playing
From Sea to Sea to Sea
Marine Scavenger Hunt
Summer Literacy on the Peninsula is series of four free outdoor events throughout the summer. All events will adhere to the current PHO guidelines. The line-up includes: Words in the Wind (July 6–13), Story Stones (July 19–26), Head Outside and READ Together (August 5) and StoryWalk with Horses (August 26). southislandliteracy.com
With the school year ending and travel restrictions starting to ease, a new BCAA survey reveals that many British Columbians are worried that increased traffic and more kids playing outside could be a recipe for disaster. To remind drivers of the risk and encourage safer driving in residential areas, BCAA is again offering its free Slow Down Kids Playing reflective lawn signs. To get your sign, email your nearest Block Watch Coordinator (blockwatch.com) or drop into a BCAA Service Centre in Nanaimo or Victoria. To learn more, visit bcaa.com/ community.
The 2021 Edition of From Sea to Sea to Sea: Celebrating Indigenous Picture Books celebrates a collection of 25 of the best Indigenous picture books published in Canada between 2018 and 2020. Care was taken to ensure that this collection reflected the diversity of First Nations, Métis and Inuit voices from sea to sea to sea, and that the titles are available and in print for anyone who wishes to access them. To download the catalogue, visit ibby-canada.org.
Join Mount Arrowsmith Biosphere Region’s (MABR) marine scavenger hunt and on your next trip to the beach, use their clues to help find each critter. Discover something that’s not on the list? Draw it at the end to identify it later. To download the Marine Scavenger Hunt list, visit mabr.ca/ at-home-activities.
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Vol. IV, Ed. II 5
Profile
Victor & Edith Newman
M
aster carver Victor Newman and his wife, textile artist and clothing designer, Edith Newman, have raised three children, Marion, Carey and Ellen. Victor’s great grandfather is legendary Kwakwaka’wakw artist Charlie James and his aunt is carver Ellen Neel so it is no surprise that Victor and Edith’s son, Carey Newman, has become a multi-disciplinary Indigenous artist and master carver who created “The Witness Blanket,” made with over 800 items collected from residential school survivors and the former residential school buildings. It was Victor, a residential school survivor, who inspired Carey to create the powerful monument, one that involved the entire Newman family. Now grandparents, Victor and Edith reflect on the importance of spending time together, conversation, inclusion, leading by example and the value of community involvement.
Q. What are your traditional names? What do they mean?
Victor: Hemosaka, which means the making of a chief. Edith: Yakudlas’amega, which means she who gives everything.
Q. How many children do you have? What are their names?
Three. Marion, Carey and Ellen. Their traditional names are Nege’ga (she is a mountain of wealth), Hayalthkingeme (the face of a chief) and Kugwi’sila’ogwa (chief ’s seat, where you place your wealth).
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Q. How many grandchildren do you have? What are their names and ages? Where do they live? We have one granddaughter. Adelyn is 10 and she lives in Victoria.
Q. What do you love most about being a grandparent? Least?
Victor: I had to wait a while for it to happen. For a while I was the oldest new grandfather I knew. It was amazing when I finally got to hold my grandchild after she was born. Edith: I love interacting with Adelyn, watching her play with her new puppy, sewing, reading, making doll clothes, everything. She has a very broad vocabulary and chatting with her is an education. I grew up in a family with both parents and four siblings in a neighbourhood where I was within walking distance of my maternal grandparents and three families of aunts, uncles and cousins. We were in each other’s homes almost daily. I wish that we lived much closer. So to answer the second part of this question, the physical distance between us is what I love the least.
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Q. How is being a grandparent different than being a parent?
Victor: We don’t have the responsibility of taking care of her the way we did with our own kids. Edith: Being a grandmother is much more relaxing than being a mom.
Q. What was important to you as a parent when you were raising your own children?
Victor: That my kids were happy. That they were happy with their own accomplishments. That they treated people with respect. Edith: Raising my children was the most important job I have ever done. I chose to homeschool them so that every opportunity within my capabilities could be offered to them. I didn’t want them to experience racism which I, as a teacher, had seen in schools. I wanted them to learn in a traditional way as in learning through observation and inclusion. I wanted their learning to be as natural as learning to walk and talk. They indicated when they, in their own minds, needed to know something.
Q. What is most important to you as a grandparent? Victor: That my grand-daughter grows up to be a loving person. Edith: It is important to me that Adelyn be happy within herself; confident, self-assured, able to laugh at herself, generous, kind, mischievous, respectful, well-rounded.
Q. What part did your grandfathers play in your life? What did you learn from them?
Victor: I never had the chance to meet my grandfathers. They passed before I was born. I don’t know when. I heard about them from my family a little bit and I got to read about my great-grandpa Charlie James in books. He was a carver and knowing that made me want to learn to carve too.
grandmag.ca
Q. What part did your grandmothers play in your life? What did you learn from them?
Edith: My maternal grandparents lived close by. I stopped in there almost every day to visit and help out with simple chores. I learned from them to be respectful of others and to be giving.
Q. What do you hope your grandchildren learn from you?
Victor: I don’t get to talk to her very much. She is her own person. She likes to play nearby but doesn’t really play with me. I tell her I love her and that’s important. I know that she really likes it that our house is right at the beach. I don’t know what she is learning from me. Edith: I don’t think I have any expectations for my granddaughter to learn from me. She will learn what is important for her at any given time. My job is to be as good a role model as I can.
Q. How have you passed along traditions and skills, in particular, carving? Music? Stories? Family history?
Victor: We homeschooled our kids. Having them home all the time meant they were able to learn by watching. This is important in Indigenous ways of learning. She used to come to drumming nights sometimes and she was really good at the dancing. Covid happened so we haven’t been able to do that for a while now. Edith: Our children learned basic skills such as sewing, cooking, cleaning, shopping for food. I encouraged them to be self-reliant and to know that their education would never be over. My job was to provide a home where there were always piles of library books; the radio tuned in to music or interesting talk shows; sports equipment, participation in sports teams; visitors from all over who brought a wide variety of ideas, Vol. IV, Ed. II 7
enhancing stimulating conversations. Our children were encouraged to participate fully in all conversation. There were opportunities to travel both as a family and with youth
ing and preparing foods, drumming and dance classes were a part of everyday life. The list is endless.
Q. Carey has said: “My parents gave me a social conscience...” How?
Victor: By being the way we are. Indigenous people are always having to raise awareness in others. We are always having to teach people about who we are because Hollywood got it wrong. We have always talked about stuff with our kids so they know why people are the way they are. Carey learned from that. Edith: We participated in walk-athons, fund raising concerts, peaceful demonstrations to bring social issues to the fore. We encouraged our children to speak up for those who may not be able to speak up for themselves.
Q. Carey has said: “I’m careful to adhere to traditional rules and values. Finding ways to innovate without disregarding history is important to me.” How did you teach your children—and how do you teach your grandchildren—to respect traditional rules and values and to regard history? Victor: Carey was talking about the rules of traditional artwork when he said that. I am a very good teacher of art. I did that job for a long time. And my son has always been a talented artist.
Q. How did you help your children—and how do you help your granddaughter—find their talents and strengths? To explore their creativity?
groups; they were involved in the community through volunteer work. Kwakwala language, attendance and participation in feasts and potlatches, learning traditional ways of preserv8 Grand
Edith: Music was important in our lives. We had a piano and as soon as our children showed an interest, we enrolled them in lessons. The same was true for art as in designing and sewing clothing. Art supplies were available. I see similar opportunities being provided for Adelyn by her parents. grandmag.ca
Q. As a survivor of residential schools, what do you feel when you see Carey telling the stories about what happened there, through works like the Witness Blanket?
A legacy of compassion felt for generations to come…
Victor: I am proud that he is trying to tell people what happened in the residential schools. And that he is making people understand why we can’t just get over it.
Q. You and Carey share a special and close relationship. How have you arrived at the place you are in now, with such strong ties to each other and a good solid relationship? Victor: We were not always close. My wife encouraged us to get counselling together. I learned then that I was treating him the way I was treated in residential school by nuns and priests because that’s where I learned and grew up. We learned how to be good to each other then. I am proud of him.
Q. What do you wish for your grandchildren?
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Victor: I wish that she will be kind, happy, generous and productive. Edith: I wish for my granddaughter to be happy, have a good sense of humour, to be kind and generous.
Q. Do you have any wise words or stories to share with other grandparents to help them in their role raising their grandchildren?
Victor: No, I don’t! They should do it their own way. What they need to do to be close to their grandchildren. It is fun to watch some of the grandparents with their grandchildren when they get to be close. They just light right up. Edith: Advice to other grandparents. “Take every opportunity to spend time with your grandchildren. They grow up so quickly.”
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We are following guidelines from the Provincial Health Office. A player will never be turned away due to lack of fees (external and internal grants available). Vol. IV, Ed. II
9
GRANDparenting
From the Start: A Birth
T
he call comes at 7 a.m. on a February morning, when my daughter Naomi knows that I’ll be up and getting ready for the day. She’s been in labour since the middle of the night and wants to know if I’d like to come over and keep her and her husband Matthew company.
Of course I would! I’m self-employed and my schedule is flexible, so there’s no one to ask permission. I finish getting breakfast on the table for Naomi’s two much-younger siblings, then head over. I don’t even have to drive to be at my daughter’s side. She and her husband live in a suite on the neighbouring property; I let myself through her door less than a minute after leaving my own. “It’s happening,” my daughter says, catching her breath between 10 Grand
contractions. She’s smiling and looking impressively calm for a first-time mother, her face glowing with sweat and anticipation. The midwife arrives shortly after I do, and I try to be unobtrusive as she makes her assessment. Naomi is far enough along that she’s ready to be admitted to the hospital—but the perinatal unit’s rooms are full, and she’s asked to continue her labour at home. And so, we hunker down: Naomi, her midwife, Matthew, and me. Between contractions, the atmosphere is cheerful. Everything is proceeding as it should, and the four of us are enjoying the shared experience of this unfolding miracle. I watch my daughter with admiration. Can it be 26 years already since her own birth? She is a twin, born by caesarian at 35 weeks. At an impossibly tiny 3½ lbs, Naomi was almost 2 lbs lighter than her sister—and yet from the very beginning she was tough. She has remained the most petite of my three adult children, and yet she has always gravitated towards physical labour. I am grateful for her strength now, as I watch her bend into each contraction. I am grateful for Matthew as well, his unwavering focus as he leans in beside his wife. They were friends long before their interest turned romantic. I knew him as a loud and impetuous adolescent; now he’s a man who knows when to be strong and when to be gentle. He is exactly the birthing partner Naomi needs. Suddenly the contractions accelerate. If Naomi doesn’t want to deliver at home—and she doesn’t—it’s time to get to the hospital. NOW. We drive the 20+ minute distance in separate grandmag.ca
vehicles, and I panic when I can’t find a parking place. Please, I beg, as I circle and re-circle the lot. A space comes open and I seize it. Somehow in my less-than-focused state I manage to figure out the parking kiosk, then sprint to the maternity ward. My sense of urgency is well-founded; Naomi is in active labour when I get to her room. Things are moving more quickly than even her midwife anticipated, and it’s only a few minutes before she’s on the bed, pushing. She tells me later that she knew I had arrived only because she saw my boots on the floor. Her world has shrunk to the point that she can’t hear my voice or take in the rest of me. And then, less than 20 minutes after her arrival at the hospital, Naomi’s baby is crowning. I hold my breath as a head emerges, then the unfolding body of a little girl. There’s a flurry of activity at the foot of the bed, but my tiny granddaughter remains purple and still. My prayer in the parking
lot was nothing compared to the plea I send to Heaven now. I have no idea how long we wait, but I swear the whole world is holding its breath with me. Until—finally—little Rhea wriggles and cries. I cry, too. Healthy Families, Happy Families
Child, Youth & Family Public Health South Island Health Units
Rachel Dunstan Muller is a children’s author, storyteller, podcaster and grandmother. You can find her two podcasts Hintertales: Stories from the Margins of History and Sticks and Stones and Stories through her website at racheldunstanmuller.com, or wherever you normally get your podcasts.
For Rhea
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250-544-2400 250-519-5100 250-538-4880 250-519-3487 250-388-2200 250-519-3490
(toll-free number for office in Saanichton)
It’s been three years since Rhea was born, and as I write this my daughter and son-in-law are preparing to welcome their second child in a matter of weeks. If all goes as planned it will be a homebirth this time, and I will be at my daughter’s side again. I’ll have to travel a little farther to get there, however; Naomi and Matt have become homeowners in the intervening years and have moved to a new neighbourhood. But we’re still in the same community, and for that I am immensely grateful.
2 am is the time you choose to begin your birth to end nine months of hoping, praying retching, craving sleeping, dreaming waking, waiting – for your mother. Your mother, who I held in the crook of my arm not so long ago my smallest child my toughest child now woman-grown bent over, breathing.
Esquimalt Gulf Islands
Your father stands, gentle-eyed hands on her back. The midwife works with quiet efficiency while I watch, grateful witness. You arrive, purple and still. Time catches, until your cry a small cry, but enough to reset the world spinning. Snow falls outside the window Winter’s benediction but you, tiny child, are Spring.
Central Island Health Units
Duncan Ladysmith Lake Cowichan Nanaimo Nanaimo Princess Royal Parksville/Qualicum Port Alberni Tofino
250-709-3050 250-755-3342 250-749-6878 250-755-3342 250-739-5845 250-947-8242 250-731-1315 250-725-4020
North Island Health Units
Campbell River Courtenay Kyuquot Health Ctr ‘Namgis Health Ctr Port Hardy
250-850-2110 250-331-8520 250-332-5289 250-974-5522 250-902-6071
islandhealth.ca/our-locations/ health-unit-locations Changes with BC Medical Services Plan premiums mean that families eligible for partial payment of some medical services and access to some income-based programs now must apply for Supplementary Benefits through the Government of BC. Applications can be done online and take approximately 15 minutes. Families who previously qualified for MSP Premium Assistance should not need to re-apply if taxes are completed yearly. It is advised to confirm coverage before proceeding with treatment to avoid paying out of pocket.
For more information, visit gov.bc.ca/gov/ content/health/health-drug-coverage/msp/ bc-residents/benefits/services-covered-bymsp/supplementary-benefits
Vol. IV, Ed. II 11
Health & Wellness
Move Well & Age Gracefully
E
xercise keeps us physically fit so that we can go about our daily life with more ease. Its effects go way beyond the surface; they extend to other areas of the body as well.
Exercise helps to: • Build a stronger immune system. Aerobic/endurance exercises such as brisk walking and dancing improve the health of your heart, lungs, and circulatory system, helping your body to overcome infections and viruses more easily plus lessen recovery time from illness and injury. • Create stronger bones for better balance. Strength training exercises like lifting weights and using resistance bands can increase muscle strength to help combat the loss of 12 Grand
bone density. Balance training helps to activate deep stabilizing muscles so that they become more resilient to stress and are able to absorb weight and impact better. • Reduce the risk of degenerative diseases such as dementia, Alzheimers and Parkinson’s. Exercise keeps the mind’s cognitive functions active and strengthens motor skills. The idea of working out can feel overwhelming, but don’t sweat—yet!— every little bit helps: • Physical activity can be social time. Get your family or friends to be active with you and when available look for group activities or classes in your community. • Start slowly and listen to your body. Don’t push yourself to the point of pain or unnecessary strain. Learn to work with your body and find an activity you like. • Minutes count. Plan to increase your level of activity 10 minutes at a time: walk wherever and whenever you can, carry your groceries home or take the stairs instead of the elevator Practice mindful movement when you exercise to improve your potential for moving well as you age. Consider The Squat, a simple exercise that most of us know and in fact practice every day when we move from sit to stand or stand to sit. A squat builds strength in the hips and legs, which propel us through our day and also work to get us up and down off the toilet. You can incorporate mindful movement principles by: 1. Using proper technique. Sounds grandmag.ca
boring but proper technique allows you to perform an exercise without causing pain or strain. While a certified trainer can help, you can also watch yourself in the mirror. For example, when performing a squat, as you bend your knees watch that you sit the hips back, like you’re taking a seat back on the toilet, and watch that your toes and knees point in the same direction. 2. Activating your core muscles, a group of four muscles that include the diaphragm, deep abdominal, deep spinal and pelvic floor. Try using the Core Breath, a specific way of breathing that incorporates your core muscles. When performing the squat, breathe in as you bend your knees, sit back and envision the two sitting bones spreading, allow the ribs to expand and breathe out as you stand up envision the 2 sitting bones and deep abdominals gathering. 3. Include a balance challenge. Try standing on one leg and avoid breath holding. Many people find that focussing on a point in the near distance will help but once you master this move then try to balance and allow your eye gaze to expand into the periphery. When performing a squat you can practice lifting one leg up as you stand up or try placing one foot (or both) on something unstable like a mini-exercise ball or balance trainer. Physical activity plays an important role in maintaining your health, well-being and quality of life. If you are unsure about types and amount of physical activity consult a health professional to find out what’s appropriate for you.
Leslie Hopkins is a Certified Core Exercise Specialist with a unique perspective into the field of women’s pelvic health. She is a movement educator, speaker and creator of online programs including Laugh Without Leaking. grandmag.ca
flexibility for different learning styles optional hands-on learning activities support from a certified teacher gentle and constructive feedback
Vol. IV, Ed. II 13
GRANDparenting
Pandemic Grandparent
I
f you asked me to rate my Pandemic Year, I’d give it about 6 out of 10 on the suck-o-meter. Over the year, I watched my career go down quicker than a toddler’s toy in the toilet. And I discovered new soul-sucking anxiety that sabotaged any get-up-and-go that might’ve rescued said career.
I didn’t take up any hobbies—unless you consider carb loading and emptying wine bottles a hobby—so I jealously watched as Facebook “friends” baked bread, learned knitting, and discovered gardening. I didn’t even clean out my closets. My big accomplishment: becoming a grandmother. I know it doesn’t take much effort on my end, but I’ll take all the compliments and congratulations I can get. My 14 Grand
granddaughter is really darn cute and I feel my genes had something to do with that. Obviously, becoming a new grandmother in a pandemic requires a few modifications from normal grandparenting. When my granddaughter was born in September 2020, I had to forgo my hope of attending her birth as there was a limit to the number of people who could be there. My daughter and her husband chose a home birth, which is scary enough for a grandmother-to-be, but add to that my extreme anxiety, and, well, let’s say I was smart enough to keep my mouth shut. My mother attended my first birth and literally had a panic attack, so, in hindsight, I probably was the most helpful as a distanced cheering squad. The next few months, my visits with my granddaughter and daughter were through a window. Being a new mom is hard, but I can’t imagine how hard it would be through a pandemic. No family help, no friends, isolation and no baby showers. They did have an online baby group—with all mics on for the sing-alongs! The new mama was tired. I hated that I couldn’t do the grandma thing where you bring over a casserole and hold the baby while mama has a shower. Not being able to help my daughter was what stung the most. My daughter wanted to be a mom since age 10, is a trained doula, and is regarded as a “baby whisperer.” I look back at the anxious new mom I was— my first time holding a baby was my first born and maternity leave was three months—and I am blown away that birth and infants can be such a different experience than mine was almost 30 years ago. grandmag.ca
One thing I’ve learned from becoming a grandparent during the pandemic is that my ideas about parenting a newborn are outdated. My daughter has this dialed in, and the best thing I can do is be open and willing to learn all about the new techniques. Technology and social media became very important in our family connection. Without being able to visit in person, my daughter made a huge effort to connect daily. I’m grateful for all the Facetime visits, Instagram messages and regular video chats a bunch of times each day so we could virtually hang out. As my granddaughter gets older, I am able to interact and sing songs (she thinks I’m an awesome singer!). So there’s a silver lining: If I was still grinding away at my career, I wouldn’t have had the time to connect virtually. The pandemic gave me perspective that my career isn’t as important as being a mom, a grandmother and a friend. I always thought that by the time I reached this age, I’d be totally put together. Being a grandma in a pandemic forced me to understand that I’m still very much a work in progress. I also need to figure out how much purple a grandmother should wear and how much is too much. It is a line I’ll probably cross several times in the near future. And yes, I was recently able to hold my granddaughter without a mask. It took eight months and was the most magical day.
April Butler is the mother of three (one teenager and two grown) children and the new grandmother of one. She was working as a documentary filmmaker and if her career doesn’t reboot after the Pandemic, she will just spend more time sailing. grandmag.ca
June Age 5, Cerebral Palsy Loves kindergarten, art, and swimming As a happy five-year-old, June’s complex health challenges don’t hold her back from doing the things she loves. And when her family needs to travel from their home in Denman Island to Victoria for June’s medical treatments, Children’s Health Foundation of Vancouver Island’s home away from home, Jeneece Place, is there.
Children’s Health Foundation of Vancouver Island has invested in the health of Island kids for 95 years. We touch the lives of more than 16,000 Island kids and youth each year through our homes away from home in Victoria (Jeneece Place) and Campbell River (Q̓ ʷalayu House); our Bear Essentials program, which provides direct funding to families who need financial support to meet the immediate care needs of their child; and by investing in essential community-based services, interventions, therapies, and resources that optimize the health of our children and youth.
Island kids, like June, need you. Donate now at islandkidsfirst.com
Vol. IV, Ed. II 15
Media & Technology
Shutterbug
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Jacqui Graham has six grown kids and eight delightful grandkids age 4 to 15 years. If she had known how much fun grandkids would be, she would have had them first! 16 Grand
n a recent sunny June afternoon I accompanied my daughter and her family to a local swimming hole on the Puntledge River. The weather had attracted quite a few families to the beach. Relaxing in a folding chair beside my 15-year-old granddaughter, amicably passing a potato chip bag back and forth as we watched children and their parents splashing in the river, I could not shake the feeling that something was missing. Then I remembered. “It’s the strangest thing,” I said to my granddaughter. “I seem to have left my cell phone at home.” “Good,” she said. “Now you can’t take any pictures. You’ll just have to sit here and enjoy life.” My grandkids are resigned to their shutterbug grandma. Visits to my home are punctuated by the command to look up and smile. Whenever we head out on a walk, my trusty iPhone XS nestles in the back pocket of my jeans, ready to be whipped out the moment the grandkids do anything cute, or interesting, or annoying. Walks may be interrupted at any moment by the cry of the matriarch: “You kids keep walking, I’ll catch up with you! I just have to take a picture of the river…. this wildflower… an interesting bug… that perfect cloud… a rock shaped exactly like a heart…” Recently the grandkids decided to hold an intervention. I am now restricted to three photos per walk. I blame my mother for my obsession with capturing life on film. On my ninth birthday she presented me with her beloved Brownie box camera. It was—literally—a box with a lens on the front and a postage-stamp-sized
viewfinder on the top. The shutter was a tiny lever that stuck out from the lower right side of the box. You braced the box against your chest, peered down into the minuscule viewfinder, and ordered your subject to hold verrry still. The challenge was to depress the shutter without tilting the camera. I found this nearly impossible to accomplish, with the result that my photos were always slightly askew. Undaunted, I took pictures of anything that would hold still long enough, restricted only by the number of rolls of film my tiny allowance would afford. I was hooked. A shutterbug was born. In my teen years I acquired a slightly more sophisticated camera and branched out into artsy shots of chain link fences, water droplets on leaves, deliberately unfocused photos of friends, and the occasional unplanned closeup of my exuberant poodle’s nose. As the years flew by, my repertoire expanded to include a husband. Various dogs. Scenery, at home and abroad. And then, in November 1979, an event occurred that ushered me into a new photographic era: the birth of our first child. As wee Sarah grew from wrinkled newborn to chubby-cheeked toddler, every infinitesimal milestone was obsessively chronicled: first smile, first tooth, first step, first birthday, first Christmas, first taste of applesauce. And random cuteness. (Soooo much random cuteness!) Sarah “reading” a book. Sarah cuddling her favourite doll. Sarah playing with the dogs. Sarah in the bathtub/in her snowsuit/on a playground swing. Our bookshelves began to fill up with photo albums. grandmag.ca
As our family expanded to include five additional children, the bookshelves groaned under the weight of more and more albums. Birthdays. School events. Camping trips. Sunday school pageants. Christmas mornings. Sports. Easter egg hunts. Vacations at home and abroad. Random cuteness. (Soooo much random cuteness.) There are 25 photo albums. The last one is dated 2005. Digital photography had, and subsequent photos were entombed in the memory chips of our digital devices, displayed, perhaps, on computer screensaver slideshows, or shared on social media, or called up on one’s cell phone to impress strangers in cash register lineups (“Oh, that photo of your niece’s baby is adorable! Now, let me show you the cutest picture of my youngest grandchild in a kitty costume… wait…I know it’s here somewhere…”) The advent of digital photography has also freed us from the constraints of film. No longer do we need to ration our
picture-taking! As I write this, I blush to admit that there are 31,029 photos and 2,001 videos on my iPhone XS. I recently had occasion to hunt through the old albums, while tracking down a photo of an adult son’s seventh birthday party to share in our family’s Signal group. When I located the photos of the event, I was struck by the fact that there were only three of them. Not eight, or 12, or 27. Just three. At such an event nowadays I would take at least a dozen photos and a handful of videos as well. It makes me wonder: what is this compulsion to capture every moment of our children’s and grandchildren’s lives? When we look back on that birthday party years from now, will twenty-seven photos of a child blowing out candles really serve our memory better than three? And in the process of taking those twenty-seven photos, are we actually missing the very moment we are trying so desperately to capture?
I would love to continue pondering this philosophical question with you, but I must run. My cat is doing the cutest thing. Now, where did I put that cell phone?
FAMILY CAREGIVERS OF BC F www.familycaregiversbc.ca Are you a family caregiver living in Greater Victoria? Join our community for our FREE monthly Victoria Virtual Caregiver Support Group, which brings people together around a mutual experience of caregiving for a family member or friend. The support group is a time for connection and reassurance. You are not alone. Sign up for our next meeting at www.familycaregiversbc.ca/family-caregiver-support-groups/
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Vol. IV, Ed. II 17
Road Trip
Yesterday’s Stories Shaping Tomorrow’s Future
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hildren look up to their grandparents as guiding figures and the keepers of stories. A trip to Fort Rodd Hill and Fisgard Lighthouse National Historic Sites is the perfect setting to combine sharing special moments and awakening even the youngest of inquisitive minds. Beyond every door and down every path, exhibits reveal stories of changing times. See how young female nurses and factory workers contributed to the war effort during WWII, and the special skills they needed to transmit top-secret encoded messages. Learn about the evolution of engineering and technology, and how strategically placed disappearing guns and functioning lighthouses worked. As you explore, conversations with Parks Canada staff add depth to every story. Let young imaginations run wild: • Are they fond of nature and little creatures? Surrounded by the natural beauty of Canada’s west coast, the Garry Oak ecosystem thrives here in the Learning Meadow, where getting up close with native plants and polli-
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nators prompts important discussions about conservation. • Are they eager to hear secrets? The site’s self-guided audio tour brings to life stories told by a seasoned soldier, a young Victorian woman, a few residents of the fort and the lighthouse, and even an American spy. The voices of these storytellers may inspire future actions or career aspirations. • Are they studious and want to record findings? The Xplorers booklet was created especially for these inquisitive minds. With a pencil in hand, they will draw, search for answers and collect facts. They may choose to save this completed book for their collection of Xplorers booklets acquired while visiting other Parks Canada places. • Are they fascinated with dress-up and role-play? During summer programs, Parks Canada interpreters may recruit them to help with lighthouse chores or show them the 1800s latest fashion and games. They might develop a new appreciation for current
commodities or decide to set new “oldfashioned” trends. • Are they excited about sleepovers? The oTENTiks offer a unique blend of homey comfort with a taste of outdoor adventure. Staying overnight in a real fort and enjoying the freedom to wander, once all the regular visitors have gone home, is truly a special treat: a memory they might even pass along to their own grandchildren. When children experience a place where history is alive, their curiosity can flourish and they can develop new perspectives and skills for their future. Admission for youth 17 and under is free. Seniors cost $6.60 and senior annual passes are $16.97. And don’t forget, all Parks Canada places—in person and online—can be experienced in both English and French. For the summer program schedule and activity ideas, visit pc.gc.ca/ en/lhn-nhs/bc/fortroddhill/ activ/activ5.
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Branded C ontent
Independent, All-inclusive Living S
hannon Oaks is independent, all-inclusive living. It is a wonderful way for you to enjoy an all-inclusive lifestyle filled with social engagements, nutritious meals, daily exercise and new friendships. You would be surrounded by understanding peers and belong to a meaningful community. Some describe it as living on a cruise ship on land. Your own private suite can range from 500-800 square feet and it features large windows, a full bathroom, kitchenette and utilities. Every meal is an occasion prepared by professional chefs and personally served by our dining staff. Fresh baked goods, fruit and beverages are available throughout the day. Shannon Oaks offers you an array of daily activities including fitness classes, crafting, painting, card games, discussion groups and field trips. Bus trips are scheduled multiple times a week to include
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malls, libraries, concerts and more. There is also a hair salon and esthetician available for all of your beauty needs. Other amenities include a gym with equipment specialized for seniors and a spacious entertainment room that hosts weekly movie nights, dances, socials and a variety of local entertainers. You can pick and choose what you like. Take part in everything or just sit back and relax and enjoy the 24/7 customer service. Cleaning….no more. For your convenience and peace of mind we provide weekly housekeeping, linen service and 24-hour emergency response. Your suite is left sparkling clean every week, while you can enjoy time with friends and family. Step into a beautiful courtyard with a bubbling fountain and landscaped gardens to relax in. There really is something for everyone. Living at Shannon Oaks you will feel like you are part of one big family.
Vol. IV, Ed. II 19
Grandparenting
Grandfathered
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Excerpt from Grandfathered: Dispatches from the Trenches of Modern Grandparenthood by Ian Haysom (Heritage House Publishing). heritagehouse. ca/book/grandfathered. Ian Haysom has been a reporter, writer, film critic, correspondent, editor and columnist. He was editor-in-chief at Vancouver Province and Vancouver Sun as well as news director for BCTV, Global and CHEK. He lives with his wife, Beth, near Victoria, where he writes and works as a news consultant. 20
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ver one summer, for three and sometimes four days a week, I looked after my then three-anda-half-year-old granddaughter Mayana—pronounced My-Anna—while her mom was doing a yoga teacher’s course. Mayana calls me “grandad.” She used to call me “grangrad,” which I found kind of cool, but I guess somewhere along the line I graduated to full-blown grandfather. During my summer with Mayana, I was going to teach her a lot of things. How to ride a bike. How to sing Yellow Submarine. How to say “please” and “thank you” and all that stuff we grownups find kind of important. How to write her name. How to have fun. Instead, I think I learned more than her than she learned from me. Mostly, how to slow down. And not only smell the roses—but count them. And count them again. And again. And again. How many red ones. And blue ones? And white ones? And do we prefer the white ones, or are the red ones prettier? I also learned, for instance, that washing your car can be a far more memorable experience if you let your three-and-a-half-year-old granddaughter hold the hose. The car didn’t get very wet, but we did. That summer had been a pivotal and somewhat emotional time for me. After more than 45 years working as a journalist, I was leaving the daily grind of journalism. And heading to the dreaded r-word: retirement. Some guys yearn for retirement. I had mixed feelings. Retirement meant
all the clichés to me—a lack of purpose, doddering into a life of seniors’ specials and matinee movies, a world of baggy cardigans and pinochle or euchre, whatever they are. Someone told me I was old enough now to play pickleball, a kind of tennis for old people. I could still play tennis. Could still serve the occasional ace, and here I was already consigned to the shuffleboard of life. I’m not sure how the idea of me looking after Mayana came up. I might have volunteered. Or, more likely, someone volunteered me. Amy, my eldest daughter and a single mother, said she had this intense yoga course to attend for the summer, and it would be tricky to have Mayana cared for. And suddenly, it became patently obvious that everyone else was busy, and I had nothing useful to do. … It started with a slow walk. The first day of the summer that I looked after Mayana began with what I expected would be a quick stroll to a small playground. It would normally take me five minutes at most to walk there. This day it took us almost an hour. We stopped to look at flowers. Then bees. Then butterflies. Then we blew dandelions. We picked buttercups. And looked at horses in a field. Then we patted a dog. And talked to the owner. And then we talked to the dog. Mayana, on this first day of the rest of my life, taught me on our first full morning together to slow down. Not just slow down. But also come to a full stop. And sometimes, go backwards. Until that week I had been running a turbulent, crazy TV newsroom in Vancouver. My life was organized chaos, particularly on days of big grandmag.ca
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All I Really Know I Learned from Kindergarten. Fulghum, the essayist and former Unitarian minister, had a huge bestseller in the 1980s. It should be republished for a new generation. Some of the advice? Share everything. Don’t hit people. Live a balanced life. Learn some and think some
Mayana decided she’d prefer to be a butterfly than a bee. She didn’t want people to be scared of her. “Everyone loves butterflies. And they can fly so high. Look, grandad, that one’s higher than that big tree.” Then she held my hand. “What do you want to be, Grandad?” It was a good question. Until that moment I’d been somewhat confused
Hold hands and stick together. Be aware of wonder. “Grandad, what’s that pink flower called?” I had absolutely no idea. “A geranium,” I said. “Or a chrysanthemum, maybe?” “A chriscinnamon?” “Something like that. Or maybe a daisy.” We counted more than 50 butterflies on our walk, most of them white, a couple of them more colourful. We watched them land on the flowers and then flutter off in search of more adventure. I honestly hadn’t realized there were so many butterflies in our street. I guess I had failed to look properly. My head was usually full of other stuff.
about who I was after leaving the newsroom. It defined me. I loved being in the middle of all the noise, in the middle of a vital, relevant world, and I was trying to come to terms with what and who I now was. I never really wanted to be “retired” and snapped at anyone who even suggested I was now in retirement. But right then, right at that very moment, while the world slowed to a perfect stop, while my granddaughter clung onto my hand and looked up at me with large, brown innocent eyes, I knew one of the things that I what I wanted to be. A grandfather might be a cool thing after all.
Photo: PictureWest Photography
breaking news, when nobody had time to blink, let alone think. One of my last jobs was to oversee our coverage of an election. I’d commissioned polling, argued with party officials about the format of the TV debates, pushed for us to get to the heart of the issues, gone through graphics and results systems and online coverage—and now here I was staring at a crack in the road. “Why is the road broken?” “It’s not broken, it’s just cracked a bit.” “Will we fall in?” “Well, no, it’s just a small crack.” “Will it get bigger and bigger and then we’ll fall in?” “I don’t think so.” Stopping to smell the roses was out of the question. Today, I wasn’t only smelling them—in the neighbours’ front yards—I was also counting them, testing Mayana on the various colours (her favourite is purple) and spotting as many bees as we could. “They won’t hurt us, grandad. The bees are friendly if you don’t hurt them.” She’d learned that much. Do you know why they’re buzzing around the flowers? I asked her. She didn’t, and frankly, I didn’t know much more since I was never a gardener nor paid much attention in biology classes, but I kind of stumbled through a hazy description of what bees do with pollen and how they make honey and also that, in this particular society, the Queen Bee rules. Kind of like at our house, I said. You’d have thought running newsrooms—newspaper and broadcast— would have been perfect training for looking after a grandchild. I always likened my job to that of a kindergarten teacher. There were certainly tantrums and tears. And bruised egos rather than bruised knees. I joked, when I was in the news world, that I learned more from Robert Fulghum than all the management courses I went on over the years. Fulghum wrote the delightful book
Vol. IV, Ed. II 21
Cooking with Grandkids
Cooling Down with Frosty Treats
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ith summer’s heat comes the joy of going to the beach, building sand castles and swimming. Or staying cool by running through a sprinkler. Frozen treats are another great way to cool down. They are also fun and easy to make at home! Homemade frozen treats are far better than those that are store-bought. • They contain less sugar, artificial flavours and food colouring. And it’s easy to make them completely sugar-free by using 100% fruit juice. • Homemade treats are zero-waste and affordable. • You don’t have to have a popsicle maker or an ice cream machine. Though both of those are helpful, there are other options for making homemade frozen treats. Best of all, homemade frozen treats are a fun and flavourful way to connect with your grandchildren! Here are three basic recipes to get you started. Feel free to mix and match ingredients to create your own favourite blend. 1. Add edible flowers and mint leaves to popsicles. The results are beautiful. Perfect for your little gnomes and fairies. 2. Whole raspberries, strawberries and cherries make a fun addition to popsicles or ice cream. I recommend avoiding blueberries which freeze solid and aren’t as enjoyable. 3. Kids love mixing liquids. Give them a few different drinks and let them mix their own concoctions. Try brewed herbal teas, 100% fruit juice, yogurt or cream. Which combinations freeze the hardest? Which ones have the best flavour?
Fruit Juicesicles Smoothie Creamsicles The easiest homemade frozen treat is a fruit juice popsicle. If you don’t own a popsicle maker, then just use an ice cube tray. A cup full of flavourful ice cubes is pretty fun and perfect for taste-testing different combinations. A few piece of whole fruits (strawberries, cherries, raspberries) 100% Fruit juice or fruit and vegetable juice blend 1. Wash and chop the fruit into small, bitesized pieces. Place a few pieces in each popsicle container. 2. Pour in the juice and freeze for at least 3 hours.
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Whenever we make smoothies for a snack, we always make a double-batch and freeze the extras as creamsicles. Again, if you don’t have a popsicle maker, just use an ice cube tray. The best part about homemade creamsicles is that we get to add whatever we want to the smoothie. For a boost of protein add 2 tbsp of peanut butter. Adding 1 tbsp of cocoa powder will result in a chocolatey treat. You favourite smoothie is equally enjoyable as a creamsicle. Blueberry banana creamsicles are one of our favourites. 1 banana 1 cup of blueberries 1 cup of yogurt 1 tsp vanilla extract 1. Place all of the ingredients in a blender. Pulse until everything is well-blended and smooth. 2. Pour into the popsicle maker and freeze for 3 hours, until frozen solid.
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Honey Vanilla Frozen Yogurt ®
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2 cups of yogurt 1 cup of whipping cream ½ cup of honey 1 Tbsp vanilla extract Pinch of salt 1. Freeze your ice cream maker for at least 24 hours before making frozen yogurt. 2. Mix the yogurt and whipping cream together. 3. next stir in the honey. This is a bit tricky because the honey needs to be really runny in order to fully mix into the dairy. I recommend measuring the honey into a glass container, then microwaving it for 20–40 seconds so that it is really liquidy. Whisk the whipping cream and yogurt while slowly dribbling in the honey so that it is fully combined. 4. Stir in the vanilla and salt. 5. Follow the instructions of your ice cream maker to churn the frozen yogurt. Transfer the frozen yogurt to a freezer container and freeze for at least 2 hours prior to serving.
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This frozen yogurt recipe includes a mix of whipping cream and yogurt, because straight frozen yogurt is incredibly icy. Sweetening it with honey not only avoids refined sugars, it also keeps this treat creamy and smooth. If you want the flavour of frozen yogurt, but don’t have an ice cream maker, freeze the liquid in a 10-inch baking pan. after 1 hour beat in the ice chunks with a whisk. Place the pan back in the freezer and whisk again after 45 minutes. Freeze for a third time, and whisk after 30 minutes. The goal is to bring a bit of air into the liquid so it doesn’t freeze into a solid ice cube. For really creamy ice cream, whisk another few times. Otherwise, leave the frozen yogurt to freeze solid in the baking pan.
GROWTH-SPURT FRIENDLY CLOTHING FOR BABIES & KIDS
www.sugarsandwich.com
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GRAND 10
Ways to Be a Fabulous Grandparent
Vol. IV, Ed. I
Move Well & Age Gracefully Grandfathered An excerpt
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GRAND Vol 1, Ed 2
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Grandparenting from Afar
From the Start A birth
Q&A
Victor & Edith Newman Master Carver & Textile Artist
Emillie Parrish writes from Victoria and Saturna Island. She is the author of the Pacific Northwest lifestyle blog: BerriesandBarnacles.com. grandmag.ca
Rock the Podcast
How to create —and launch— an engaging and entertaining podcast
Running Your First 10k Close to Home Comox Valley
Gordy Dodd
Grandfather & Community Superhero
Shots in a Snap Photographing Your Grandkids
Stories, Resouces and Inspiration to be the best GRANDparent and the best you!
grandmag.ca Vol. IV, Ed. II
23
GRANDparenting
The Best Places on Vancouver Island for Family Photos
Erin Wallis
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ith the warmer weather and easier—or better yet, nonexistent!—schedule, summer is the ideal time to photograph family and friends. And what better place to
do it than on Vancouver Island. Here, from 7 Island photographers, are a some of the most scenic and fun places for a photo shoot that are guaranteed to make you smile.
Campbell River
Off the top of my head, Saratoga Beach comes to mind. The reason I love Saratoga for generational images is the space you have there. It is ideal for spreading out! Especially for larger groups, another big consideration is accessibility for elderly/grandparents! Too many roots, stairs, unstable ground isn’t ideal for people with any difficulties and I find somewhere flat and easy ideal. Here are a few images I had from a Saratoga session. – Erin Wallis (erinwallis.com)
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Ashley Marston
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Maryam Morrison
Cowichan Valley
For Mid Island, I would suggest Eves Park and Transfer Beach. Both locations are easy to find with quick easy access. First, get ready to have fun! Gone are the days that we all stand perfect in front of the camera and smile. Although it’s great to have one or two of those photos, my sessions are all about capturing the connection between family members and that means lots of interaction between myself and the family and all the family members themselves. – Ashley Marston (ashleymarstonbirthphotography.com)
South Island
Here’s my biggest advice: find a location you can get to within minutes of arriving. If you have little ones with you (grand littles) you have already used up most of their cooperation time getting them dressed up and driving to the location. If you have to walk a long distance to get to the perfect spot they will have zero love for you by the time you get there! This also works great for grandparents and seniors. If you can get there shortly upon arrival, it’s likely going to be more accessible to anyone with mobility challenges. Remember, light is more important than location and
getting everyone together for photos is already considered success. Focus on everyone having a great experience and you are more likely to get better images you can look back on and enjoy for years to come. My fave spots include: Glencoe Cove Kwatsech Park. Big grassy field. Beautiful views of the ocean. Gorgous beach for those who can do stairs. All in one spot. Rowing Club at Elk Lake. HUGE grassy fields that look beautiful in summer and fall. The docks for the lake backdrop and lots of parking and washrooms. – Maryam Morrison (findyourlightphoto.com)
South Island
Nicole Israel grandmag.ca
When I have intergenerational shoots or clients who require easy location access, I recommend: Albert Head Lagoon in Metchosin. The parking lot is right next to the water, a beautiful mixture of water and forested scenery. Mount Tolmie in Saanich has a garry oak eco-system that offers a gorgeous view of Victoria. There is parking all the way up the mountain, so no hiking involved. Island View Beach in Saanich Peninsula provides different backdrop options, with the beach and ocean to one side, and a grassy field to other. – Nicole Israel Vol. IV, Ed. II 25
Nature
R-E-S-P-E-C-T! Find out what it means to me…
Respectfully exploring seashores and parklands
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or countless generations, the Indigenous Peoples of the Lәḱәŋәn (Lekwungen), WSÁNEĆ, Scia’new and T’Sou-ke First Nations have been thoughtful caretakers of the lands within the Greater Victoria area. Living in respectful balance with all liv-
ing things is a fundamental principle of their beliefs and is still the basis of their relationship with the land today. As a guest from the Kwakwaka’wakw Territory of the northeastern part of Vancouver Island, I share this sense of interconnection and balanced relationship. The people from my territory also be-
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lieve that with respect, we appreciate the interconnection of all life and our essential part in the circle of life. This teaching and many others were taught to me as a child. I was six years old when I learned a valuable lesson about respectful exploration. My family had travelled up island to visit relatives in the village where my mother was born. We were attending a wonderful feast featuring some of my favourites, like clams, herring, sockeye salmon and ť’ɫi’na (oolichan grease), a type of fish oil and delicacy to Coastal First Nations. After the meal, the adults settled in to share family stories, histories and traditional songs and as much as I loved to listen to the elders sing and speak the language, my mind wandered to the beach. I wanted to flip over rocks, dig in the sand and scoop up whatever was hidden inside or underneath. While exploring, I picked up a large horse clam shell from the beach to hold what I found. A tiny sea star, hermit crab and sea snail were among some of my treasures, along with a few small stones that caught my eye. I added in a little sea water for my new friends and couldn’t wait to show the collection to my mother. I made my way back to my parents, and triumphantly stepped up to present my menagerie. The sadness that came into my mother’s eyes was deeply disappointing and I felt my excitement drain away. My mother gently
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took the shell from my hand, looked inside and said, “I think your little friends are scared and I wonder what their parents are doing right now?” I remember looking away and shrugging my shoulders as my mother continued. “I don’t know what I would do if someone took you away from me. I would be heartbroken and would probably spend the rest of my life trying to find you.” That did it! I felt a wave of overwhelming regret and burst into tears. How could I have been so thoughtless? My mother gave be a reassuring hug and then accompanied me to return my ‘friends’ to their homes on the beach. As I grew up, I learned more about why First Peoples believe that all living things should be respected. From insects to eagles; from bees to bears; and from crabs to caribou, we believe
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that unless we have a purpose, like hunting, gathering or fishing, we do not have the right to disturb animals in their natural environment. While raising my own children we often spent time at the beach respectfully exploring. I let them know that it’s okay to turn over a rock or two and thoughtfully observe the creatures underneath. It’s okay to look inside a tide pool and watch the tentacles of a sea anemone sway back and forth in search of food. But I also let them know that it’s not okay to interfere with the animals. Instead, we learned about the traditional methods for harvesting and the multiple uses for plants and animals on the beach. In my capacity as the Cultural Programmer for CRD Regional Parks, it is my role to develop education programs with an emphasis on promoting
and celebrating the cultural history of First Nations in CRD Regional Parks. I work with a dedicated team to ensure Indigenous cultural teachings are respectfully applied to researching, preparing, and delivering park interpretive programs. I am proud to say that our collaborative efforts are now an integral part of raising awareness of Indigenous Cultural heritage in Regional Parks. I am now a grandmother and looking forward to the days when I can pass along these teachings to my grandchildren and explain what R-E-S-P-E-C-T- means to me.
Leslie McGarry is the Cultural Programmer at CRD Regional Parks. For up to date information on CRD Regional Parks, visit crd.bc.ca/parks.
Vol. IV, Ed. II 27
Health & Wellness
Feelings First
Helping your grandchildren navigate BC’s restart plan and new social situations
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ith summer officially upon us and B.C. easing its pandemic restrictions, many families are turning their attention to social gatherings. Now that playdates and parties of up to 50 people are once again allowed, grandparents are excited to finally see their grandkids again, although some are expressing concerns with the impact of physical distancing on little kids’ development. Luckily, experts say you already have the tools it takes to support your grandchild’s social and emotional health. Whether it’s visiting a friend’s home or attending a birthday bash out in the park, these fun experiences may feel overwhelming for young children, especially those under six years of age. For some, these gatherings will be their first in over a year. Experts say it’s important to pay closer attention to your little ones during these times. “Caregivers can observe how their children are interacting with others in these new social settings,” says Dr. Anamaria Richardson, a Vancouverbased pediatrician. “It’s important to let children express their emotions and listen in a non-judgmental way. During this time, it’s most important for parents and caregivers to be present, not perfect. You know your child best, and you can trust your gut.” While being in these new situations may be stressful for some children, Dr. Richardson notes it’s not necessarily a bad thing. “Not all stress is bad stress. Small challenges help children cope with bigger ones. There are numerous
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opportunities in every child’s life to experience manageable stress—and with the help of supportive adults, this “positive stress” can be growthpromoting.” Children learn from making mistakes and trying again. Your positive response to those mistakes reinforces this process. Praise your child not only for their successes, but also for their willingness to try different things. In the early years, your grandchild’s social and emotional health is every
Mental Health Resource Centre. In a few weeks, she’s planning the first visit with her kids’ grandparents in over a year—a big moment after a long time apart. Horn says if your grandchild is feeling stressed or anxious in new situations, physical touch like holding, hugging or cuddling your little one can help. “Healthy touch is an essential part of healthy child development. From birth, physical contact between caregiver and
bit as important as their physical health. It impacts how they express emotions, deal with stress, develop friendships, and helps to determine their connections to the world around them through stories, conversations and play. Michelle Horn is a mother of two young kids, and a program manager with BC Children’s Hospital Kelty
child promotes brain development, creates attachment, and helps children feel more secure and connected to you. It also supports their development and helps to build their brain.” Paying attention to your grandchild’s feelings in new social situations, and talking about them, is also important. It can ease their anxieties in the moment, and also help them to grandmag.ca
learn how to express and process feelings, which helps children grow into emotionally healthy adults. “Social and emotional development starts early. From recognizing emotions to just talking and hugging, small things make a big difference,” says Horn. “Research shows that longterm, fostering early social and emotional development in the early years leads to healthy brain development, success in school, increased community involvement, and even success in future employment.” The need to foster healthy social and emotional development in young kids became more evident when the COVID-19 pandemic first kicked off in the spring of 2020. Based on evidence from early childhood development, a provincial group of B.C. organizations and experts got to work to develop resources for parents and caregivers. The result: the Feelings First social media campaign. “Families told us they needed more information about ways to better support their children in the early years, especially during the challenging time of COVID-19,” says Sana Fakih, provincial lead of early years health & wellness at Child Health BC. “The Feelings First campaign was created based on research and feedback from parents and caregivers. It’s had great results so far, with more than 60 organizations involved.” With short, simple messages like “It feels good to talk about feelings” and “Routines relieve stress,” the campaign has reached thousands of parents and caregivers with hundreds of thousands of impressions online. “This is just a first step in what we hope to do in B.C.,” says Fakih. “We hope families can use these messages to help their young children enjoy visiting with friends and relatives this summer and beyond.” For more information on the campaign, go to feelingsfirst.ca or follow @Feelingsfirst.ca on social media. – Provincial Health Services Authority grandmag.ca
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the-raptors.com
We welcome all ages 753 VIEW STREET
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Community
The Value of Volunteering What kind of volunteer opportunities are out there?
If you can imagine it, it might exist! Modern volunteering appeals to almost any hobby, interest or skill— from fashion stylist to acting as a board member, there’s always something for everyone. Volunteers do not get paid, but there is always a return on your volunteering investment. People volunteer for all types of reasons – to give back, to learn, to make friends, or to add something new to their resume or share a skill with others.
• get a police check • get a child welfare check • attend an orientation • attend specialized training
How do I find the perfect volunteer position?
Volunteer Victoria’s database hosts more than 300 volunteer positions, which can be a little overwhelming. Choosing a volunteer position is the hardest part of volunteering! Before you begin your search, think about the following questions. Be honest with yourself!
Is there an age demographic you are most comfortable working with? What skills do you want to learn or are you looking for job experience? What kind of surroundings would you like to be in? What special skills or talents do you have to offer? Do you have any limitations that you will need to fit into your position? What kind of volunteer work would you dislike? Do you want to volunteer in a team, alone on individual projects, or from home? Would you consider a virtual or micro volunteering position?
How do I use the database to get started volunteering in Greater Victoria?
What kind of things will nonprofits ask me for when I apply?
Volunteer Victoria works with more than 300 non-profit organizations and each one has a slightly different volunteer application and intake process. Depending on the position, you may be asked to: • complete an application form • send your resume and references • meet for an interview
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Questions to ask yourself:
Why do you want to volunteer? How much time do you have to commit? Do you want to volunteer for one day or something ongoing? Do you want to volunteer with your head or your hands? Are there any specific causes that interest you? Are you looking to do a certain kind of activity?
1. Think about what kind of volunteer opportunity you want. 2. Search Volunteer Victoria’s online database. If you need help finding a position book an appointment to meet with a volunteer advisor. 3. Select your favourite volunteer opportunities: volunteervictoriaadvisors. secure.simplybook.me/ 4. Learn more about the organizations/causes and then apply to the organizations using the Volunteer Victoria database or directly through the organization’s website. 5. Start making a difference.
For more information on volunteering, visit Volunteer Victoria at volunteervictoria.bc.ca. grandmag.ca
Breathe some fun into your summer with outdoor spin classes, yoga, boot camps and Zumba. Join us outside in Central Park and on the spacious grass field at Royal Athletic Park.
victoria.ca/recreation | 250.361.0732 Fort Rodd Hill and Fisgard Lighthouse National Historic Sites Let your imagination run wild! Explore Fort Rodd Hill—a 100-year-old coast artillery fort—and feel history come alive at Fisgard—the oldest lighthouse on the west coast! Connect to nature at this beautiful coastal location, just 20 minutes west of downtown Victoria. Visit the website regularly for up-to-date information on what is open, what is closed, and how to be safe when you visit. Free admission for youth 17 and under. Adult $7.90; Senior $6.60.
pc.gc.ca/fortroddhill 250-478-5849
Facebook.com/FortRoddFisgardNHS Twitter.com/FortRoddFisgard
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Your donations help Family Services of Greater Victoria provide the following professional programs and services to families in the region.
Family Services of Greater Victoria
Programs and Services Caught in the Middle Counselling/Therapy Services Art/Play Therapy Techniques Facilitated Parent–Child Connection In-Person & Telehealth Services
Mediation for Couples New Ways for Families® Parent Support & Resources Separation Resource Services Support for Grandparents
Learn more about our services and how to donate
250-386-4331 www.fsgv.org
