August/September 2020 Island Parent

AUG/SEPT 2020

Vancouver Island’s Parenting Resource for 32 Years

10

Back-to-School Brain Boosters

Things to Do

(Before Summer Ends)

GET READY! Schools & Educational Services

2  Island Parent Magazine

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In Every Issue

TA B L E O F C O N T E N T S

5

Features

Fast Forward SUE FAST

6

Need to Know

10

16

Happy Families, Healthy Families JANELLE HATCH & ARELI HERMANSON

6 Ways to Survive the Start of School

12

Dadspeak

Practise and preparation are key to a smooth summer-to-school transition.

DAVID LEACH

20

Diversabilities LAURA TRUNKEY

22

HANNAH JULL

Mom’s POV KELLY MCQUILLAN

18

26

Educational Programs & Services

14

Kids’ Activities: From the Ridiculous to the Sublime Balancing kids’ out-of-school activities.

GINA SAFRANYIK

23

So Much for Self-Care When you just don’t have time for ‘self-care.’

Family Calendar

24

Resilient Parenting

Forgiving our mistakes and doing better next time.

KELLY CLEEVE

GREG PRATT

ONTHECOVER

30

Preschool & Child Care Directory

AUG/SEPT 2020

Vancouver Island’s Parenting Resource for 32 Years

10Things to Do

(Before Summer Ends)

32

Nature Notes LAUREN SHERWOOD

34

What’s for Dinner EMILLIE PARRISH

36

Back-to-School Brain Boosters

GET READY! Schools & Educational Services

Bentley L (7), Caelan G (8), Rowan C (6), Xavier F (6), Dylan E (7), Austin E (4) Photo by Lori Brown, loribrownphotography.com

Island Parent is a proud member of

BC 4 Island Parent Magazine

Kids’ Reads CHRISTINA VAN STARKENBURG

38

Cut It Out! ALLISON REES

Jim Schneider Publisher publisher@islandparent.ca Sue Fast Editor editor@islandparent.ca Linda Frear Account Manager/Office Manager linda@islandparent.ca Kristine Wickheim Account Manager kristine@islandparent.ca Island Parent Magazine, published by Island Parent Group Enterprises Ltd., is a monthly publication that honours and supports parents by providing information on resources and businesses for Vancouver Island families. Views expressed are not necessarily those of the publisher. No material herein may be reproduced without the permission of the publisher.

Annual mail subscriptions (12 issues) are available for $35 (GST included).

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Island Parent Magazine 250-388-6905 islandparent.ca

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FA STF O RWA R D

10 Things to Do Before Summer Ends With fall just around the corner, there’s still plenty of time to tackle this “10 Things To Do” list. Now there’s no excuse for lazing around as the balmy days pass idly by—unless, of course, that’s your idea of perfect summer fun.

Check first to confirm hours of operation and details before visiting.

Zoom Along a Zipline

Take flight and soar through the treetops—at speeds reaching up to 100km/h—on Mt. Washington’s newest adventure, the Eagle’s Flight ZipTour. mountwashington.ca

Watch Water Ballet

Victoria Harbour Ferry captains—and their boats—become “ballerinas” on Sundays at 10:30am (until the end of September). The best seats are at the Steamship terminal in Victoria’s Inner Harbour. victoriaharbourferry.com

Splish & Splash at a Spray Park

Nothing screams summer like a spray park.

Most are open, though hours and capacity might be limited, so check first before visiting your favourite neighbourhood spray park.

Go Mini Golfing

Mattick’s Farm in Victoria, Paradise Fun Park

along with Riptide Lagoon Adventure Golf in Parksville and Miracle Beach Mini Golf in Black Creek are among the courses operating this summer. Most require advance booking for tee times.

Seek Shade Spelunking

Although self-guided access is closed, Horne Lake Caves Provincial Park offers guided cave tours with limited availability. Reserve in advance. hornelake.com

Gaze at Goats on the Roof

Coombs Old Country Market is open and the goats are grazing—on the roof! This landmark features a mixture of shops, eateries and lots to look at. Oh, and ice cream! oldcountrymarket.com

Have Fun at the Fort

Storm the Fort—Fort Rodd Hill, that is—with a visit to Fisgard Lighthouse, the Casemate Bar-

racks, Batteries, beach and nature trails. pc.gc. ca/en/lhn-nhs/bc/fortroddhill

Forage at a Farmer’s Market

Gather the ingredients for a farm-fresh picnic and set your sights on a shady spot to dine al fresco. For a list of markets or to find a farm, visit islandparent.ca/family-events.

Hit ‘The Dock’

Set sail for Protection Island on the passenger ferry leaving from Nanaimo’s Front Street terminal 10 minutes past every hour and cool down at Dinghy Dock Pub & Restaurant with a Lil’ Skippers Menu for kids. dinghydockpub.com

Smell the Roses

Though many of the traditional summer events at Butchart Gardens have been cancelled, the grounds are open daily from 9am4pm, with viewing until 5pm. butchartgardens. com

Discover the all-girls advantage.

An environment where girls gain confidence and discover their passions.

Looking for an affordable alternative to Daycare & Preschool? Check out our full-day inquiry-based Junior Kindergarten (age 3 & 4) and Kindergarten.

Contact us to visit our campus and apply for Fall 2020 at www.stmarg.ca

IslandParent.ca

St. Margaret’s School August/September 2020 5

N E E DTO KN OW

Dancing Towards Healthy Relationships Suddenly Dance Theatre has created a new toolkit for building healthy relationships through social emotional learning and conflict resolution in collaboration with the WITS Programs, the University of Victoria, Suddenly Media Productions, and six young performers. This online education initiative features a non-verbal dance-film—now available for streaming to parents, caregivers and educators everywhere. The film promotes positive relationships, peaceful resolution of peer conflict and social emotional learning skills using the established WITS Programs strategies—Walk Away, Ignore, Talk it out and Seek Help. There are no words in the film so it speaks to everyone. witsinmotion.ca

Cool It! Climate Leaders

Congratulations to Cool It! Climate Leaders. From January to June, 844 students, representing 39 classes across the region, participated in the BC Sustainable Energy Association’s (BCSEA) program to empower youth to be environmental stewards.

The workshops build students’ climate change knowledge, followed by a four-week call-to-action challenge to reduce their energy consumption and carbon footprint at home with their families. This year’s winning classes are Grade 4 at Margaret Jenkins Elementary (Victoria), Grade 4/5 at Cordova Bay Elementary (Saanich) and Grade 4/5 at Dunsmuir Elementary (regional) schools. visit bcsea.org/Cool-It.

Maritime Museum Re-opens The Maritime Museum of BC is now open on Fridays from 10am to 2pm by appointment. New protocols include: no more than 8 visitors, or two separate household groups, at the same time; hand sanitizing upon entering and halfway through the exhibit space (or gloves available); mandatory face masks (please bring your own); social distancing 6' or more apart from those who are not from the same household.

Appointments must be booked in advance (and must be kept to the one-hour period booked) at mmbc.bc.ca.

6 Island Parent Magazine

Honouring Orange Shirt Day Orange Shirt Day is an annual national event that is held on September 30th in Canada. It is a day to honour residential school survivors and their families, and to remember those that never made it.

Orange Shirt Day is an event that grew from Phyllis Webstad sharing her story in 2013 of having her new orange shirt taken from her at the age of six when she arrived at St. Joseph Mission residential school. Her story created an opportunity for discussion on the aspects and experiences of the residential school legacy. To help create awareness of the effects of residential schools, purchase a shirt at victoriaorangeshirtday.com.

Fun, Interactive Online Classes and Groups!

Ramble in the Rainforest Raincoast Education Society’s guided rainforest walks offer youth a unique understanding of the Pacific Rim’s globally significant ecosystem, from the impressive diversity of flora and fauna to the interconnections with the marine environment. Children 5 and up. From 1-2pm on Wednesdays in August, and Sept 2. Drop off next to Darwin’s Café, Tofino Botanical Gardens (1084 Pacific Rim Hwy). Free. raincoasteducation.org IslandParent.ca

Even COVID can’t stop us!

Retail Store - In-Person Shopping Monday-Friday - 10am-5pm Support Local Retailers!

Classes Online (live, interactive, local) Ÿ Ÿ Ÿ Ÿ

Childbirth Preparation & Refreshers Baby Care & Infant First Aid Cloth Diapering Workshop Baby-Wearing Workshop

Baby Groups Online and Outdoors!

Pre and Postnatal Yoga in the Park!

For details see our website.

Ÿ Ÿ Ÿ Ÿ Ÿ

Breastpump sales & rentals Nursing bras and tops Cloth diapers and accessories Baby Carriers Baby Clothes, Books and Toys

975 Fort Street, Victoria motheringtouch.ca - 250-595-4905

August/September 2020 7

START:

UNDER 6 THE SEA

1 ANIMAL PLANET

7 SPLISH SPLASH

5 GOING GREEN 4 OLYMPICS

2 MUSIC MAKERS

WHERE THE WILD 8 THINGS ARE

…FINISH!

3 EXPLORATION

Find free weekly summer activity plans on these 8 themes at activeforlife.com/daycampathome © Active for Life

Day Camp at Home Activity Sheet Summer camp is magical. Yet even if your kids aren’t enrolled in a summer day camp (or can’t sign up this year, due to the pandemic), you can re-create some of that summer camp magic at home.

Active for Life (AFL) is publishing free weekly “Day Camp At Home” activity plans designed for busy families. Every week, AFL shares new ideas for games, activities, arts and crafts, book recommendations, and more. You’ll find a new weekly plan on the AFL homepage every Monday until August 24. Follow along and explore these themes (download the colouring sheet at activeforlife.com): August 3: Going Green August 10: Under the Sea August 17: Splish, Splash!

August 24: Where the Wild Things Are Pick and choose among the activities or tackle them all—you choose what works best for you and your child. And if you’re working from home, don’t worry: there’s always an easy independent play activity for your child to do on their own or with limited support, too. activeforlife.com

Parenting During the Pandemic Study Families are facing many challenges related to coping with the COVID-19 pandemic. The University of Manitoba’s Parenting During the Pandemic study aims to identify the degree that COVID-19 is affecting families of young children and whether the needs of these families are being met.

If you are willing to share your parenting, stress, mental health, and service use experiences during COVID-19, you can join the study at parentingduringthepandemic.com.

8 Island Parent Magazine

Night Out for Boys & Girls Clubs

Are you looking for ways that you can give back this summer? SCENE, Canada’s #1 Entertainment Loyalty Program, has partnered with Boys & Girls Clubs of Canada to help bring families together, so they can create lifelong memories. Experience a SCENE Night Out and enjoy a fun, easy (and safe) way to go out and to give back—just use your SCENE card to earn or redeem points at Cineplex Theatres, now open in BC. Until August 27, every time a member uses their SCENE card, 25¢ will be donated to Boys & Girls Clubs of Canada. scene.ca/en-ca/bettertogether

Gone Fishin’

The Freshwater Fisheries Society of BC is continuing the Summer Fishing Challenge to help anglers 15 and younger enjoy the sport even more with rewards just for going fishing. The first 1,000 youth who record at least five fishing trips are eligible to win a prize from the Society.

Photos can be of the lake river scenery, people fishing or that day’s catch—from multiple trips to the same location or to different locations. To enter, complete the fishing journal by recording each fishing trip and taking a photo. Download a form and return by email or fill out the online form at gofishbc.com.

Ocean-themed Colouring App

Local artists have joined forces with Vancouverbased art and design studio Tangible, the Vancouver Mural Festival and Ocean Wise to create a new, ocean-themed colouring app with proceeds supporting the not-for-profit Vancouver Aquarium. The new Aqua Colour app—a free download for iPhone and Android—is an interactive, digital colouring book for tablets and phones inspired by the Vancouver Aquarium.

Simply use your finger or stylus to select colours and brush sizes, fill and shade areas, add stickers, and save or share your work. vanaqua.org

To everyone who was planning on attending one of our overnight summer camps…

We want you to know how much you are being missed! We have been thinking about you lots. We share in the disappointment, and we’re still mourning this loss.

We hope that you and your family are doing well and enjoying the summer. Even though it has to be different it can still be good!

The changes caused by COVID-19 have brought a very significant financial impact and our future viability is in jeopardy. As a nonprofit camp we have always relied on the partnership and support of people… and today we need this more than ever.

If you would like to partner with us by making a gift, you can do so at https://secure.qwanoes.ca/support/. All gifts will receive a charitable tax receipt.

This summer we are running day camps… so if you live close (or you can stay with someone who lives close!) we’d love to welcome you!

From all your friends at Qwanoes we wish you the very best and we look forward to welcoming you here in the future.

Scott Bayley Executive Director

IslandParent.ca

August/September 2020 9

H A PPYFA M I LI ES H E A LTH YFA M I LI ES

Healthy Families, Happy Families

Child, Youth & Family Public Health South Island Health Units

Esquimalt Gulf Islands

250-519-5311 250-539-3099

Peninsula Saanich Saltspring Island Sooke Victoria West Shore

250-544-2400 250-519-5100 250-538-4880 250-519-3487 250-388-2200 250-519-3490

(toll-free number for office in Saanichton)

Back-to-School Brain Boosters

S

ummertime for children usually means more time outdoors playing, eating fresh, in-season foods, sleeping more and, this summer, connecting—in a COVID-safe way—with family and friends.

With the transition back to school coming in a few weeks, some parents are wondering if they should put aside these summertime activities in order to support learning. In fact, there is no need to stop

Top 5 Brain Boosters for Children

these activities which actually boost a child’s readiness to learn and promote a healthy brain and body.

If we think about our bodies as these incredible machines (which they are!), the body, like any machine, works best when given the right tools. What tools are needed for a growing body and a learning brain you ask? Movement, good food, sleep, social connection and stimulation (new learning).

• Unscheduled Play. Let children use their creativity and move their bodies in many different ways that feel good.

• Family Activity Time. Take a ball to the local park, break out the Frisbee or other favorite family activity.

• Active Travel. Walk or wheel where you need to go, to school and activities.

2. Eat good food. The brain needs nutrients to grow and be healthy. Just as a child’s body needs good food to grow

1. Movement. Active children are better learners! For better brain health and mental health, children need regular physical activity. Aim for at least 60 minutes of moderate to vigorous physical activity every day.

• Wear a Helmet. Check the fit and parents wear one too, whether biking, skating, rolling or skiing.

Central Island Health Units

Duncan Ladysmith Lake Cowichan Nanaimo Nanaimo Princess Royal Parksville/Qualicum Port Alberni Tofino

250-709-3050 250-755-3342 250-749-6878 250-755-3342 250-739-5845 250-947-8242 250-731-1315 250-725-4020

North Island Health Units

Campbell River Courtenay Kyuquot Health Ctr ‘Namgis Health Ctr Port Hardy

250-850-2110 250-331-8520 250-332-5289 250-974-5522 250-902-6071

islandhealth.ca/our-locations/ health-unit-locations Changes with BC Medical Services Plan premiums mean that families eligible for partial payment of some medical services and access to some income-based programs now must apply for Supplementary Benefits through the Government of BC. Applications can be done online and take approximately 15 minutes.

Families who previously qualified for MSP Premium Assistance should not need to re-apply if taxes are completed yearly. It is advised to confirm coverage before proceeding with treatment to avoid paying out of pocket.

For more information, visit gov.bc.ca/gov/ content/health/health-drug-coverage/msp/ bc-residents/benefits/services-covered-bymsp/supplementary-benefits

10 Island Parent Magazine

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on, so does their brain! Eating a balanced diet with plenty of vegetables and fruit is what bodies of all ages need. Healthy eating supports a child’s brain growth and development. Look to Canada’s Food Guide for further guidance and tools.

• Cultural and Family Meals. Connect over good food and pass down all the food knowledge and traditions held by generations within your culture.

• Parent decides what, when and where food is offered; children decides how much to eat from which food is offered.

• Grow and Learn Together. Whether you are growing a garden, shopping for food, harvesting food or preparing food in the kitchen, involve children every step of the way.

• Healthy Plate or Healthy Bowl. Eat-

• Bedtime Routine. Try reading, playing calm music, a bath or snuggle time to calm the mind and body to get the body ready for sleep.

• Healthy Sleep Habits. Important for learning and to support mental health and well-being.

• Screen Time. No more than 2 hours of recreational screen time per day and shut off the screens well before bedtime (1-2 hours).

4. Be social. When you spend time with the people you care about, you are taking care of your brain. Being with family and friends can make you feel good, too!

• Family. Playing, cooking, doing arts and crafts, reading, playing or listening

5. Challenge the brain. The brain needs new activities to grow new brain cells and connections.

• Learn something new. Cook, dance, sing, read, play a musical instrument, hobby.

• Learn a new language—there are many free programs, apps or through your local library • Change routines. Try a new route to school, to the park or a friends house.

• Try a new game or sport. Look online for at-home ideas or through your local recreation centre or sports association.

So remember, you don’t have to say goodbye to those fun summer activities; boost your brain power with active, outdoor play, a variety of fresh foods, sleep and time to be with family and friends.

For more information: ParticipACTION’s Expert Statement on Physical Activity and Brain Health in Children and Youth participaction.cdn.prismic.io/ participaction%2Fe6cb2b35-2d294539-80ee-515a0ae9dfb3_2018_ expert_statement_on_physical_ activity_and_brain_health_in_ children_and_youth.pdf Canada’s Food Guide food-guide.canada.ca/en/ 24-Hour Movement Guidelines csepguidelines.ca/children-andyouth-5-17/ Everyday Anxiety Strategies for Educators (parent resources) gov.bc.ca/gov/content/health/ managing-your-health/mentalhealth-substance-use/child-teenmental-health/ease ing a plate of food with half filled with fruit and vegetables, one quarter filled with whole grain foods, and the remaining quarter filled with protein foods will give the brain and body the variety of nutrients needed.

3. Sleep. Children who get enough sleep have better memory, concentration and are overall better learners.

• Sleep. Children age 5-13 years of age need 9-11 hours of sleep per night.

IslandParent.ca

to music together are all fun ways to connect as a family.

• Phone, chat, text, video. However you connect with others can support brain health.

• Volunteer in your community. This is a great way to meet new people in your neighbourhood while helping others.

• Friends. Friends can make you laugh and bring joy to your life.

Janelle Hatch, Healthy Schools Program, Island Health, is a mother of two and enjoys gardening, CHILD YOUTH & FAM I LY PUBLIC HEALT H cooking, kayaking and being outside with her kids all year round. Areli Hermanson, Public Health Dietitian, Island Health, is a mother of two very active boys who never wear shoes and have declared they do not want their 6-month staycation from school to end.

August/September 2020 11

DA D S PE A K

Up (and Down) the Creek

O

ur family lives not too far from Bowker Creek. We pass over its hidden waters or walk along its concrete banks several times a day without thinking much about it—at least until this year.

Bowker flows from its headwaters near UVic through Saanich, Victoria and Oak Bay on its way to the ocean.

In recent years, some of its original flow has been restored. The section closest to our home has been stripped of wire fence, seeded with native plants and allowed to meander through rock gardens and past an outdoor classroom near Oak Bay High.

When our kids were young, we would toss duck food to the mallards and

families everywhere, so we seek silver linings on the storm clouds scudding across our newsfeeds. The excuse to slow down and pay attention to our immediate surroundings has been one such boon. I’m sure it has for other families, too.

A stroll along Bowker has been a reminder of our good fortune in anx-

The creek was once home to runs of coho and chum salmon and cutthroat trout, shaded by arbutus trees and bordered by camas meadows cultivated by the Coast Salish peoples. Over the decades, the urban waterway has been buried beneath asphalt and rerouted down culverts, until Bowker is more of a “cyborg creek”—half nature, half machine.

widgeons that gather in an eddy pool downstream. It was our one sure-fire “nature encounter” in the city. Once our kids grew older, we barely glanced at the creek as we zipped past on our bikes to school or ball practice or the beach.

During the season of COVID-19, we’ve all had to stick closer to home.

The global pandemic has disrupted

ious times. Unlike some countries, our kids were never quarantined indoors for weeks or even months. Unlike some cities, we’ve got tree-shaded parks and paths to restore our Zoomed-out brains.

Unlike many places, our public-health leaders have kept a crisis from spiralling into a calamity.

This spring, with other activities suspended, our family walked the Bowker

12 Island Parent Magazine

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path with wide eyes again. We noticed mother ducks leading large broods of fuzzy newborns in the shallows. The creek echoed with their peeps.

Even urban nature, though, isn’t a TV show edited for PG-rated viewing.

One morning, I was walking with our 12-year-old daughter when we spied a duckling separated from its mother and six siblings. It peeped and peeped; mom quacked back. The tiny duckling had to ascend a narrow wooden ramp to overcome a concrete dip in the creek and return to her brood.

“C’mon!” we quietly encouraged the plucky fuzzball. “You can do it!”

Instead she paddled in the wrong direction. Then out of the shadows of an overhanging tree, a large crow dived straight at the duckling and…well, let’s end the scene right there.

“That’s 2020 in a nutshell,” I thought gloomily, as we continued our stroll in a state of shock.

But our dour mood didn’t last. If anything, the incident reminded us not to take special moments for granted.

As spring gave way to summer, we kept returning to the creek. Yes, the broods dwindled; our daughter learned that survival rates for ducklings are not exactly great.

By summer, though, we could distinguish several duck families, each with two or three siblings, snuggled in the high grass or dunking their heads to feed. They were becoming hardy teenagers, it seemed, as their fuzz gave way to feathers.

We’ve been living through a strange season in which we’ve all felt vulnerable. Still, as Dr. Bonnie Henry has reminded us, “It’s not forever, but it is for now.” And so finding small, transient pleasures in the “now”, like our daily duck check-ins, seems especially important.

“Everything flows,” another wise philosopher once said. Change is inevitable, the good and the bad. Some bends in the creek of time will be darker and rockier than others. But if we stay positive and stick together—even when we must stand apart—we’ll all reach open water soon enough.

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Visit our website, come to one of our Open Houses, or call us! www.ArtsCalibre.ca info@ArtsCalibre.ca 250.382.3533 August/September 2020 13

Kids’ Activities From the sublime to the ridiculous

T

here is no thrill quite like that of watching my first born take flight and slam a ball through a hoop in front of a crowd.

Okay, the kid doesn’t even need to slam it.

He can’t, actually.

But if he manages to get the ball into the hoop and three people clap, it will be me, the mother of the dribbler, clapping loudest of all. Tears may even leap to my eyes.

Don’t judge me—it is a moment!

A mother’s heart soars just like the ball in flight when her child has finally broken through and achieved such a goal, or a basket, or a pirouette, or a pitch perfect note in a solo performance.

The proud smile on that once little face—the sheer delight—is the tantalizing and universal appeal of kids’ out-ofschool activities.

That’s the good part—and it’s great.

But, I sometimes wonder about the toll that involvement, or over-involvement, in kids’ activities was taking on families before Covid changed our world.

I often felt overwhelmed by the checkerboard of colour that floated across my electronic family calendar. I lived by this colour-coded tool showing all of the activities I needed to get my kids to and from each week. The overlapping colours confounded us, I went one direction after work, my husband went another.

And my kids were not participating at the highest levels in their activities. I know families that could rarely make it to special occasion dinners because of kid activity related commitments.

There were ballet performances held each year on Father’s Day. Tournaments on Thanksgiving. So much for precious family time. Hey, I hear that ice time is cheap on Christmas Day, maybe that’s a good time for a tournament: “hurry up with that stocking Johnny, we’ve got to get to the rink!”

Some families traveled most weekends and spent thousands of dollars on their kids’ activities.

I saw many parents lulled into putting their kids’ activities ahead of almost everything else in life. Certainly ahead of their children’s education.

Was this in the best interest of the kids? What was the end game?

Just at the time in a parent’s life when a taste of freedom was tantalizingly near, when the aroma of it made me salivate like Pavlov’s dog, when 14 Island Parent Magazine

previously completely dependent beings did wonderous things like taking the bus on their own, a new, and unexpected set of responsibilities weighed me down. Mandatory volunteering.

Some kids’ activities require many hours of parental volunteer time; we’re talking 50+ hours a season for some sports and hefty fees along with disapproval if the family is unable to meet the commitment.

Now that most kids’ activities have been curtailed due to necessary restrictions to ensure everyone’s health during the pandemic, I long to watch my kids enjoying the activities that gave them joy and purpose. Dropping them off for an hour of fun while I do errands has an appeal it lacked before.

But, when the pandemic finally ends—please tell me it will end and

soon—I don’t want to mindlessly return to a ridiculously hectic schedule. Slowing down has shown me the benefits of, well, slowing down.

Some sports and activities have started up in a modified way during the reopening. Whether others will happen at all this year is still in question.

With the potential for working parents to have to juggle online schooling at least part-time this fall, what is an overburdened family to do?

I’ve learned that when faced with a conundrum it’s always good to start with “the why.” In this case, my “why” is fitness, fun, friendship and instilling an appreciation for teamwork and the value of hobbies. If your “why” is to make your kid’s Olympics dreams come true, your solution will be different from mine.

Strangely, these days it seems that most kids’ activities are geared more towards encouraging and supporting elite athletes/performers than having kids develop life skills.

I say strangely because everyone must be aware that the vast majority of kids are destined for Hobbyland, not Olympic Village.

Once you’re clear on why you’re putting your kids in a given activity or set of activities, the next thing to do is figure out what works for the whole family. And yes, Mom and Dad, that includes you!

First, give yourself permission to limit your kids’ activities. They will not be permanently damaged by participating in one less after school activity. They may be damaged by being overscheduled, pressured to achieve, and having over stressed parents to boot.

When planning your kids’ activities in the Covid world and beyond:

Put safety first.

Think carefully about how much contact you’re comfortable with while the threat of Covid is still looming.

More activities with more groups equals more potential exposure.

Most organizations are being extremely careful about following all the government protocols for safe activities. When it comes to the health of your children, you need to feel comfortable about anything they’re participating in; ask questions, and make informed decisions.

Get realistic about the time commitment.

Lay out the time for all activities in advance; looking at each one in isolation makes them seem deceptively reasonable. Make sure to ask about the volunteer commitment before you sign up and get the answer in terms of hours; some clubs like to use the term credits—and 10 doesn’t sound like much—until you find out that each credit is a shift and each shift is several hours.

IslandParent.ca

When looking at the total number of hours your family is committing to activities, ask yourself: is this reasonable? If you have a total that is nearing that of a full time job, you have some serious thinking to do.

Build anticipated homework time into your family schedule. Job number one for kids is school and they need sufficient time to do that job well. I don’t need to remind you that online schooling, even if only part time, will also take a whole lot of time for the parents!

Consider how activities will impact mealtime and bedtime. If your schedule is so packed with activities that you wind up resorting to fast food three times a week, what have you achieved? If activities make bedtime late many nights a week, how will this impact your child’s behaviour?

Pay attention to what you’ll pay.

Add up all of the costs, including equipment, gear, travel, and food away from home. Do only what is affordable for your family. There is no shame in this! Would you sign up for a gym membership you can’t afford?

Look for deals: school-based activities are either free or have a minimal cost. And consider classes offered through community centres for activities like karate, dance and art as well as classes offered through specialized organizations.

Hopefully it will soon be safe enough for these activities to resume once more.

Now more than ever, consider alternatives to organized activities.

If your kids’ favourite activities have been cancelled during Covid try to come up with creative ways they can continue these pursuits during this time. Install a basketball hoop at home, bring your kid to the soccer field to meet a friend for shooting and dribbling practice, or join your child in a sports conditioning routine.

Going for a bike ride and picnic is fun for the whole family and inexpensive.

Family hikes in nature are great exercise and studies have shown that time in nature reduces stress levels.

While the weather is still good, get out on the water: swimming, paddleboarding and kayaking are great options.

Many art projects can be done at home using instructions found online.

Don’t fall victim to the guilt of “holding them back.” If you need to make an adjustment to your kids’ activities, do so with confidence. If the kid is miserable because their schedule is too packed or the pressure is too much, everyone will be relieved when that activity is removed. If you are doing what’s best for your whole family and your kids are secure in your love for them, you are doing the right thing.

I wish you joy in watching your child blossom and inner peace in knowing that whatever you’re able to do for your children in terms of out-of-school activities is enough.

Gina Safranyik is an IT Consultant and the mother of two children.

When she isn’t busy working or running her children from activity to activity, she enjoys reading, cooking, yoga, writing and going on walks with her husband and the family Border Terrier.

August/September 2020 15

6 Ways to Survive the Start of School

T

he start of school might feel like it’s a world away, but I know, after starting three of our children in school over the past five years, that if this is your first start at school, it will likely already be weighing on your mind. And even if it isn’t the first First Day of School, often other challenges remain—changing schools, maybe, or a departing favourite friend. And now, add to that, the uncertainty around Covid.

All these challenges mean that September can loom large with expectation and apprehension. With that in mind, here are 6 ways to prepare: 1. Stay calm. There are a lot of variables in starting school and it’s easy to start feeling anxious about what lies ahead. From experience I can say that even children who you feel are absolutely not ready for school right now, may in fact have suddenly leapt ahead over the summer in maturity and be more than ready by September.

It is also worth remembering that nothing is set in stone with school. There are a variety of options, negotiations and supports available and you will navigate them as you go. And remember: there is a long weekend or holiday every couple of months when you can all catch your breath.

2. Practise. A trial run over the summer is a good idea. Walk the route to school, play on the school grounds if it’s allowed, meet up with other children who will going to the same school.

Anything that makes school a more familiar space will help the transition go as smoothly as possible.

Our three year old has been walking to school for so long that she already feels like she ought to be attending.

Thinking broadly around the expectations for your child next year is also helpful, so that you can practise some of those basics too. Simple things—we’re not talking about covering the whole year’s curriculum in advance—but for kindergarteners, being able to recognize/print their names, use the bathroom independently, wash their hands, and put their own shoes and coats on will go a long way to help their time at school more relaxed.

3. Be proactive and gather information. There are ways you can make even the most rigid school system more personal and part of your ability to do that rests on you, as a parent, knowing what your options are. For example, I discovered that the principal was happy for my son to do a half day, one day a week for most of his first year, which made the school start a little less exhausting for him.

Curious about September?

We Got This.

AspengroveSchool.ca 250.390.2201 admissions@aspengroveschool.ca Nanaimo’s JK–Grade 12 International Baccalaureate Independent School 16 Island Parent Magazine

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4. Be low key. There’s a lot of build-up before a new school year. Every adult your child encounters over the summer will ask, with all good intentions, how they are feeling about the school year ahead and after a while this can really ramp up the pressure.

We tried to keep our talk about school pretty casual; we made sure to focus on things that would remain the same, as in, “we’ll still go to the park you like,” that sort of thing.

Having a clear sense that life won’t completely abandon normal routines is comforting. This is particularly relevant at the moment, as children will likely sense a lot of tension around the pandemic and implications for schooling. A lot is changing, but there can be plenty of familiarity worked into our children’s lives.

5. Keep expectations low. I try not to “oversell” school in order to mitigate the risk that our children end up feeling like school failed to deliver on all the entertainment, learning and friends we’d promised.

Managing expectations is important for you, too. If it is your child’s first term at school, even if they have been doing full days at a preschool or daycare, they’ll likely be totally exhausted at the start.

I try not to over-schedule them with extra play dates or additional music/sport classes. Instead, we have pretty simple after school routines: connecting by sitting on the sofa with a book, or setting out an activity before picking them up at the end of the day so it’s ready for their return.

6. Put on your game face. This is probably the most important part and one I have to remind myself of—frequently. Whatever your own thoughts, worries, or reservations, you need to seem totally calm, in control, and confident about school, especially as we all navigate the next steps in the Covid era. Your child needs to know, in order to be confident themselves, that you have this covered, that you believe in their teachers and school as a safe and comforting space.

Stay calm, be proactive, keep expectations low, and fake it til you feel it. Oh yeah, and have a lovely what’s-left-of-the-summer!

Hannah Jull is a writer and mum-of-five living in Victoria. Originally from London UK (the mum) but now on Vancouver Island (and the mom), you can find her writing on the MumandtheMom: themumandthemom.com.

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August/September 2020 17

Schools & Educational Services For more information about the following schools and educational services, check out the ads in this issue.

PRESCHOOLS

SCHOOLS

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There’s a reason why the first years of a child’s life are considered “formative”—they truly form the person, and profoundly influence the path and quality of the rest of their life. We believe that Fine Arts are the perfect vehicle for this formative process. Through our structured but fun program of music, dance, theatre and visual arts, children not only absorb these and all academic subjects with enthusiasm and ease, but they also develop the creativity, confidence and social C M skills Y K to successfully apply them throughout their future. It’s this philosophy 68 35and 2 2comprehensive program that sets us apart from every other preschool.

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Christ Church Cathedral School Christ Church Cathedral School is an Independent Anglican school for Jr. Kindergarten to grade 8—welcoming children from all backgrounds and providing an exceptional education at an affordable price. Centrally located close to downtown, offering after school care, holiday programs and two Jr. Kindergarten locations: Fairfield and Gordon Head.

Oak & Orca Bioregional School BC-Certified K-12 education in a child-directed environment. This ungraded program provides students with structure, opportunities and choice, allowing them to learn at their own pace and in their own way. As part of a community of learners students are able to practice effective communication, think and act creatively and develop into responsible ecological citizens.

Regular field trips encourage connections with the natural and cultural heritage of the larger community. Blended learning opportunities are available (space permitting) to students in the Hands-On-Home-Learning (DL) program.

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Oak & Orca Distributed Learning Under the new BC curriculum, inquiry and personalization are key to 21st century learning. Hands-On-Home-Learning (DL) at Oak and Orca (K-12) offers an experienced-based, individualized and child-led approach. Families Victoria Montessori are supported in providing engaging opportunities so each student can Twenty-first century children are growing up in a crazy-paced world, with the follow their own learning path and build on their strengths and interests. All stresses of busy home life and over-stimulating media and toys. At Victoria learning experiences are acknowledged and tied to BC learning standards Montessori, we create harmony and the right balance. We try to cultivate or high school courses by a certified teacher. Original, multi-age, hand-onself-awareness, confidence, and calm amid the “moving sea of chaos.” At learning activities are provided to inspire inquiry. Blended learning opporVictoria Montessori, we build a strong foundation and strong values. The tunities are available (space permitting) at Oak and Orca Bioregional School directoresses model respect for the environment, respect for others, and and Forest School. Special Education inquiries are welcome. respect for oneself. These values build confidence, self-esteem and self250-383-6609 | oakandorca.ca expression, vital for emotional and mental health.

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18 Island Parent Magazine

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St. Margaret’s School St. Margaret’s School provides a highly personalized education for girls from Preschool to Grade 12 that fosters confidence and genuine enthusiasm for learning. Our teachers know how girls learn best: they use classroom techniques tailored to the way girls learn and strategies that draw on the strengths of girls. The result is a learning environment where girls can be themselves, take risks, find their voices and discover their passions. stmarg.ca

MID-ISLAND SCHOOLS/EDUCATION SERVICES Evergreen Independent School

dancecentre.ca) for our 2020/2021 Season or Fall 9 Week Session NOW! All classes and programs run at our NEW studio—Lakeside Village (Presley Place), View Royal.

Stages Performing Arts Since 1980 Stages has offered professional instruction in jazz. ballet, lyrical, tap, musical theatre and hip hop for all ages and levels of experience. We believe that all students should have an equal opportunity to learn in a safe, non-competitive environment which fosters self-expression, a healthy body, confidence and encourages discipline, creativity and pride in their accomplishments.

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At Evergreen Independent School in Cobble Hill, we value academic excellence and individual development in an educational community that nurtures the joy of learning. We offer small class sizes, vibrant multi-age groupings, and individualized learning plans. Evergreen welcomes students from preschool through grade 7.

Queen Margaret’s School Queen Margaret’s School is a trailblazing co-ed Preschool–Grade 12 university preparatory school. Located on 27 acres in the Cowichan Valley, QMS’ learning practices emphasize innovation and personalization through experiential and inquiry-based learning. The school also offers an on-campus equestrian program. QMS creates confident leaders of character and compassion. qms.bc.ca

EDUCATIONAL SERVICES & PROGRAMS Sylvan Learning Start the school year off strong with Sylvan Learning! Transitioning to a new grade is made easier by Sylvan’s individualized programs in reading, writing and math. Sylvan can pinpoint and develop the skills your child needs for success. Staffed entirely by teachers, we know how to motivate and empower your child to confidently tackle the demands of the new academic year. We can help your child study more effectively and be better prepared when tests and quizzes come around. Sylvan has been serving Vancouver Island families for 35 years. Let Sylvan help your child build a strong foundation and have a successful school year.

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DANCE/DRAMA/PERFORMING ARTS Ballet Victoria Ballet Victoria Conservatory Our programs offer students with a passion for dance to learn from Ballet Victoria’s very own professional dancers in a fun, nurturing and safe environment. Students of all ages will have the opportunity to learn various styles of dance and to explore an inspiring world of creativity, movement and fun. balletvictoria.com

Elevate Dance Centre Elevate Dance Centre has a class for everyone! We specialize in beginners of all ages, and offer training through to intermediate levels. At EDC, we want our dancers to learn so much more than dance—we want to support them in becoming educated, empowered, elevated members of our community. We delight in your child’s progress and performances! Our costumes and choreography are always age appropriate and your child’s safety and wellness has always been our highest priority. Register online (elevate-

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GYMNASTICS West Coast Rhythmics Gymnastics Club West Coast Rhythmics Gymnastics Club is a non-profit organization offering programs for gymnasts of all ages and levels since 1984. Our experienced coaches help to build balance, strength, flexibility, coordination, movement, expression and confidence through structured and progressive Rhythmic Gymnastics classes. Gymnasts learn movements and routines paired to music using their bodies and different apparatus—rope, ball, ribbon, hoop and clubs. Recreational and performance gymnasts attend 1 to 2 classes per week, while competitive gymnasts attend 2 to 4 classes per week.

MUSIC British Columbia Music Teachers’ Association Let Victoria’s British Columbia Music Teachers’ Association find you a private music teacher. All ages and levels are welcome, whether you are a young student learning your first note, returning student, or have always wanted to play. The BCRMTA assures you qualified and professional instruction. Lessons are available on every instrument at every level. Teachers are available with online instruction, and instruction with social distancing measures.

Find your teacher by name or location from our web site. bcrmtavictoria.webs.com

August/September 2020 19

D I V ERS A B I LITI E S

Worth the Wait

W

hen your friends and acquaintances have kids the same age as yours, a common topic of conversation is whether or not said kids have met their developmental milestones. My kid can stand up unassisted, can yours? She’s feeding herself—is he doing that yet? He’s finally toilet trained, is she?

When many of your friends have kids your own child’s age you start to get a good sense of what milestones yours “should” be meeting. At least if you want to stop receiving pitying looks whenever someone compares their child to yours.

On an ASD Facebook group recently, a mother asked for strategies for toilet-training her two-and-a-half-year-old with autism. Her daughter didn’t seem to know when she was peeing and had no interest in her potty. What could be done to change this? Since many neurotypical kids are toilet trained at that age, I had a pretty good idea of why this mom was feeling desperate. I’ve been the only mom lugging diapers to a playdate, sitting with said diapers as the other moms compare how torturous their 48-hour epic toilet training journeys were.

20 Island Parent Magazine

When Angus was two-and-a-half-years-old, we started toilet training also. I followed the same program that worked for every single other child in our baby group, the program all the other moms said took a weekend, a week tops for particularly slow learners. It was not a success.

Angus ran around the house for days wearing only his superhero underwear, not even pausing as pee streamed down his legs. It took a lot of floor scrubbing, and Googling, and worrying about my inadequacy as a mother before I admitted my child was just not ready to toilet train. He wore pull-ups until partway through preschool. But though it took a little longer than average, eventually he got there.

The take-away for me was that Angus would reach his normal developmental milestones. At his own pace. Trying to help him learn a new skill was worthwhile. So was quitting the teaching when it became clear he wasn’t ready for it. What wasn’t worthwhile? Worry, self-flagellation and endless time spent reading (and taking) advice of online, self-appointed, mommy-experts. But patience is hard.

Something those of us who know it’s the best strategy still have trouble taking our own advice. Which leads me to the bike…

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Angus took to his strider-bike a little slower that many kids, but not that slowly. Soon he was whipping down the sidewalk, not worried about bumps or hills. His first friend to graduate to a peddle bike did so at three. His mom claimed it was easy to move from a run-bike to a pedal bike, since her son already had mastered balance.

“Less than a week,” she said. “And no need for training wheels.”

By that time we had learned that Angus would take longer than many of his friends to learn skills that tested his physical prowess. And he was quite happy on his strider.

We bought him a peddle bike for his fifth birthday. A bike with training wheels. Then Mike and I took turned bending over and pushing the pedals down with his feet over and over as we propped him upright. We didn’t give up, though the lessons became less frequent as our backpain increased.

A couple months later we signed him up for a week of private classes. His 19-year-old instructor had way less trouble bending, and by the Friday he could pedal a few feet on his own. But it was hard, and not fun. The moments of success didn’t provide much incentive to keep trying.

We wheeled the bike into the living room. We have very little space, but I wasn’t worried about Angus knocking anything over. Mostly I wanted him to become comfortable clambering on top of his bike. When his friends came over, I put the bike in the bathtub. No way was I going to let an accomplished cyclist tear around the house.

After a few months we took off the training wheels and replaced them with a handle, which eased our back pain considerably. We bought him a scooter so when we were camping with friends he could still zip around on a wheeled contraption with the other kids. We kept trying the bike every so often, but it wasn’t a hit. And as he grew, it became increasingly challenging as his knees were close to the handlebars.

This summer Angus’s granny bought him a new bike for his 9th birthday. It was two sizes up from the last, and way lighter now that steal-framed bikes are no longer the norm.

We transferred the handle onto the new bike and zoomed him around his granny’s yard. The second time we tried it, he could successfully bike across her yard unassisted. He couldn’t get started on his own, and he stopped by crashing into things, but he could turn the pedals while staying upright, which was amazing enough.

Just a month later, he could stop, start, and turn circles.

Four years after his first bike, he was officially a cyclist.

I am not a patient person. If there is a reason we end up with the kids we do, a lesson that we are to learn from them, “patience” is what Angus is working to teach me.

For some of us, certain milestones will take our kids much longer than they take their peers. That’s okay. The wait only makes the achievement that much sweeter.

Laura Trunkey is the mother of the amazing Angus, and the author of the story collection Double Dutch (House of Anansi, 2016). Find her at lauratrunkey.com.

Get School Support at Sylvan • We are open for both online and in-person instruction—whichever is right for your family. Although we’re excited to see families in our centres, our online tutoring is also available!

• Personalized In-Centre Tutoring: Our expert teachers can provide face-to-face support, following BC Health mandated guidelines to ensure the safety of your child.

• Live Online Tutoring: Personalized support from our same great teachers, just in the comfort and safety of your home.

And we can get started today! Call us to set up your child’s assessment and get school support for the coming year!

Sylvan of Vancouver Island | Serving Victoria, Westshore, Duncan, Nanaimo

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Don’t wait until it’s too late. Start now.

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August/September 2020 21

M O M ’ S P OV

Raising an Extrovert (When Small Talk Scares You)

I

am a textbook introvert, with a generous helping of social anxiety thrown in that makes me cautious with interpersonal situations, especially unplanned ones. My husband is also quite content to go quietly about his business with minimal interaction. We’re both selective about with whom we spend our limited social energy and need solo time to reset when we’ve been mingling or having to make *gulp* small talk.

Imagine our surprise to discover that our 4.5-year-old son has blossomed into a gregarious little extrovert!

When we are out walking, it’s pretty much guaranteed that he will enthusiastically greet unsuspecting people working in their yards from at least 50 feet away. As they look around, trying to figure out where the booming little voice is coming from, my son commences The Questioning: “What’cha doing?”

“Why are you doing that?” “What’s your dog’s name?”…you get the idea.

Caught off guard by his intensity, most people answer right away, as if they’ve been hauled up in front of the principal.

Thank goodness they are, by and large, friendly and good sports about it, and cheerfully engage with his sometimes intrusive enquiries. (Although, even if we meet the odd grumbly 22 Island Parent Magazine

pants, my son seems unfazed.) When his newest best friend actually gets a chance to ask him a question, he regales them with a detailed story in response, often with cringeworthy personal details thrown in for extra effect.

And yes, I am dying during all of this.

Every instinct I have about steering clear of unexpected social encounters is thrown into conflict with my protective instincts—I’m not just going to watch from the sidelines or hide behind a hedge as my son walks up to strangers; I have to engage with these people with him. He clearly needs more social interaction and some guidance with the conventions of two-way conversation. These situations are incredibly powerful teachable moments; however, oh my goodness, I’m so uncomfortable. As soon as he bellows out, “Good morning!” and rings his bicycle bell at someone I feel blood rushing to my cheeks and adrenalin shooting into my extremities, a persistent voice in my head imploring me to, “Run away!”

My grandfather, after whom my son gets one of his middle names, was known for his social largesse. In his senior years he would do daily rounds of the neighbourhood on his scooter, visiting with the local businesspeople, neighbours, and anyone who crossed his path. When he passed away, many people remembered him for the jovial twinkle in his eye and his plentiful jokes, all told in a lilting Cape Breton brogue.

Introversion has its positives, but so does extroversion. I have fond memories of so many people who, like my grandfather, treat everyone they meet as someone they are genuinely happy to interact with, laugh with, and shoot the breeze with. This generosity of spirit is a true gift, and I’m happy to see it emerge in my son, even though it sometimes makes me want to run away and hide.

Recognising the joy he brings to others helps me relax in these situations. To see someone’s strained, weary face light up as my son tells them all about “My big boy bike that I ride because I’m four (going to be five in…how many months, Mama?) and I’m growing sooooo fast that Papa had to put the seat up and I don’t need the stabilisers (training wheels) any more, and listen to the bell that Mama got me for my birthday—it’s ‘bewiful,’ isn’t it?”—it’s kind of magical.

And so I grit my teeth and come along for the ride—the quiet, shy sidekick to my super social child. We talk about safety, and how we never, ever go with someone without Mama and Papa’s permission, but, for all of his outgoingness, he’s actually really careful and observant of his surroundings. I’ve learned the names of many of our neighbours (and their dogs) that I would not otherwise have known. They seem like lovely people. It’s as if my young son has pulled me into the community, like someone pulling a wallflower out onto the dance floor.

I am grateful. Uncomfortable, but grateful.

Kelly McQuillan is a writer, musician, teacher and fledgling mother living in Comox, BC. kellymcquillanwriter.weebly.com.

IslandParent.ca

Photo: hayley-wagner-unsplash

So Much for Self-care T

here will be days where you don’t feel like a good parent.

There will be days where you don’t even feel like being a parent. Generally, these are the same days. I’m having one of these days today. As I type this, I’m sitting in our mini-van in the pouring rain out in Sooke, a region of the Island I had exactly zero experience with before having kids, before the pandemic, I was here every week, killing time for an hour while my daughter was in a weekly practice.

I am by no means a procrastinator; I’m actually just the opposite. But when you have three kids you sometimes end up putting things off until you just can’t anymore. Hence, this column, and me writing it today, in my van in the pouring rain and in the midst of a wind warning making my life feel like an amusement park ride. And, like other days that have happened, like days we all have, I don’t feel like a good parent today.

This happens. I have three kids, so between us all, someone is going to wake up on the wrong side of the bed some days.

That can be contagious, as you know. So I think it wasn’t even 6 a.m. yet and I had determined I was in a garbage mood. Apparently it wasn’t just me. I’m trying but it’s 3 p.m. and I’m just looking forward to the day being over.

The thing is, we need to acknowledge this and we need to realize it happens to us all. There’s lots of talk of “self-care” these days, but the reality of being a dad of three is that you go through whole stretches—entire eras—where you just don’t have time to administer said self-care. Sometimes it’s just not a reality.

I suppose me sitting in this cold van right now typing this is almost self-care because there’s not a kid in sight and although I’m working right now I’m also happy to be crossing this off my to-do list so it’s sort of “me time.” Oh, who am I kidding?

We’re in the heat of things; there might not be sufficient me IslandParent.ca

time for the next 10 years. This is what we signed up for, but it’s absolutely not easy some days.

It’s funny to think back to being a kid and to realize that everyone’s parents felt this way sometimes. Sure, we all watched our parents have good moods and bad moods but you didn’t think about it much further than that. You didn’t think they had days where they just wanted to be alone for a few hours, where the sound of one more crying child could just ramp up their stress to levels previously thought unknown. You thought they were just, you know, your parents.

Which most people reading this are: we are someone’s parents. Unfortunately, some days you just can’t take a break from that. You need to bite the bullet and keep on parenting, keep on ignoring the world’s insistence you take some me time and engage in some goddamn self-care, because there’s just no room in the busy day for self-care sometimes.

And you know what? There will be time for lots of self-care later. From what I understand, once the kids have grown up and moved out of the house, there’s nothing but time for selfcare. To be honest, even in my darkest hours, that sounds kinda grim. I’d rather be stressed out because I have kids all over the damn place than have hours of silence every day. Because after knowing the wonderful chaos of kids, that silence must be paralyzing.

So, even on the days like today, I try to bear that in mind as I plow through everything and eagerly await my end-of-day beer so I can finally get my 30 minutes of, sure, self-care and try to tackle things a bit better tomorrow.

Greg Pratt is the father of two children and a local journalist and editor.

His writing has appeared in, among other places, Today’s Parent, Wired, Revolver and Douglas.

August/September 2020 23

Resilient Parenting I

’m a hypocrite and a fraud. That’s what my inside voice has been yelling this morning. It also tells me that I’m a failure. I am struggling to quiet this nasty dialogue.

I have dedicated my academic career to learning about resilience and emotional intelligence. I have promoted myself as someone who gives parenting advice on how to raise resilient kids. I write articles and books. I have a website and a Facebook following. I offer professional development to teachers. Yet, at home, with my own kids, I feel like I am failing. This parenting and educational “expert” curled up in the fetal position, pulled the covers over her head and bawled. Have you been there?

Let me tell you a secret. My motivation to teach is selfish. The reason I passionately learn about resilience is because I struggle with my own parenting. Most of the advice that I of-

fer stems from some parenting mishap or failure I’ve experienced, which has prompted me to learn more. I figure that I may as well share the lessons that I’ve learned with others. Maybe I can prevent you from making the mistakes that I have.

September is tough for me, as a teacher and a mother.

I become overwhelmed by the to-do list that is long enough to run off the counter and on to the floor. My brain is in a constant chaotic whirl of tasks, meetings, schedules, practices, homework etc. I don’t sleep well. To make matters worse, I often do not have time to engage in my usual anxiety calming strategies (yoga, running, and meditation.)

Reflecting upon this last weekend, I realized that I lived mostly in my head, consumed by my anxiety and I forgot to connect with my kids. I was distant. I lost my patience. I was not the mother that I wanted

CO-ED

PRESCHOOL–GRADE 12

New world. New challenges. New learning. admissions@qms.bc.ca 24 Island Parent Magazine

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to be, nor the one that my kids deserve.

Hence, the evil, guilt-inducing voice in my head.

Isn’t it funny how a parent’s guilt can be so profound? Logically, I know that my struggles are fairly small. If it were another parent in my shoes, I could calmly and confidently reassure them and offer some words of encouragement, or some strategies to try. However, when it comes to my own children, emotion becomes the goalie that is blocking all logic.

It’s a virtual shut out. Emotion wins every time.

As I was stewing in my failure as a mother, the irony struck me like lightning: I am not using the strategies that I preach to everyone else. I should be forgiving myself with an attitude of selfcompassion. I should be reaching out to my friends (aka free therapy!), seeking advice, understanding and reassurance. I should be engaging in my calming strategies. I should be recognizing the size of the problem and should be using this “failure” as a learning opportunity. I should be reflecting on how I can do better in the future. I should be practicing a resilient attitude.

Parenting is hard. It is the most important thing that many of us will ever do and we put an enormous amount of pressure on ourselves to be perfect. We all have bad days when we lose our patience, yell, ignore or placate. It’s normal.

If you don’t have bad days, you must be a super human!

Parenting requires an incredible amount of resilience. We need to move past our mistakes instead of focusing on small failures. We need to look at the big picture. Perhaps today was not ideal, but tomorrow offers an opportunity to do better. Our children will not suffer because of one or two bad parenting days.

Despite my lack of patience or attention in recent days, my children will continue to evolve into amazing people.

So, now, I choose to re-frame my thinking. I will silence that voice in my head. I am not a failure. I am an imperfect human being who is determined to move on with a positive attitude. I am a resilient mother.

Kelly Cleeve is a writer, speaker and educator. She has a Masters Degree in human development. More importantly, she is the proud mother of two beautiful boys.

IslandParent.ca

August/September 2020 25

AUG/SEPTFAMILYCALENDAR AUGUST

2 SUNDAY Victoria Symphony Splash Virtual Concert 7:30pm online Watch this magnificent event including a new introduction with CTV Vancouver Island’s Adam Sawatsky and Splash Young Soloist Danielle Tsao. victoriasymphony.ca

6 THURSDAY

A Week of Lanterns. All materials provided. $5. artsea.ca/calendar/salish-sea-festival-a-weekof-lanterns

12 WEDNESDAY Virtual Raptor Day 1pm online Learn about the wonderful world of Raptors, aka Birds of Prey, with an online video presentation from Swan Lake Naturalists. swanlake.bc.ca/virtualevents/ or facebook. com/SwanLakeChristmasHillNatureSanctuary

discover their many uses for humans and wild animals alike! Drop by 12:30-3:30pm. Begin the self-guided walk at the Filter Beds parking lot.

Wheelchair accessible. All ages.

15 SATURDAY & 16 SUNDAY Folktoria 10am at Centennial Square Two days of multicultural celebration featuring performing arts, ethnic food and crafts. facebook.com/Folkathome

Minecraft Capture the Flag: Java Edition 10am online Attention all Minecrafters, join the VIRL Minecraft server this summer and play some Capture the Flag, Minecraft Style. virl.bc.ca

Summer Reading Club: Meet the Wolves

2pm online How much do you know about wolves? Attend this fun, educational session online with Gary Allan, the author of Tundra: A Gift from the Creator, who show you video of the four wolves he has. Learn about the traits of the wolf, their family structure and the ecological value of the wolf. virl.bc.ca/event/summer-reading-club-meetthe-wolves-live-stream

Children’s Lantern Workshop

7:30pm at Greenglade Community Centre A family-friendly workshop to build a simple balloon lantern and celebrate the Salish Sea Festival: A Week of Lanterns. All materials provided. $5. artsea.ca/calendar/salish-sea-festival-a-weekof-lanterns

9 SUNDAY The Secret Life of Trees 11am-1:30pm at Wildwood, 2929 Crane Rd Did you know that trees can talk to each other?

Learn their secrets on this physically-distanced self-guided family adventure. Ages 6+, $20/family. ecoforestry.ca/event-listings

10 MONDAY Children’s Lantern Workshop 3pm at McTavish Academy of Art A family-friendly workshop to build a simple balloon lantern and celebrate the Salish Sea Festival: 26 Island Parent Magazine

StoryWalk: Self-guided Walk 6pm at Mill Hill Regional Park Get outside and experience a nature walk while stopping to enjoy an illustrated children’s book.

CRD Regional Parks naturalists will be there to bring the story to life. Hosted by West Shore Parks & Recreation. Begin at the kiosk in parking lot off Atkins Avenue. All ages. westshorerecreation.ca

13 THURSDAY

16 SUNDAY Birding Basics: Self-guided Walk 12:30pm at Island View Beach Regional Park Get to know your wild neighbours on this introduction to birdwatching and learn some tricks to help you identify local birds! Drop by between 12:30 and 3:30pm for this self-guided walk. Begin at the kiosk by the main parking lot off Homathko Road. Wheelchair accessible. All ages.

Native Plants: Self-guided Walk 12:30 pm at Elk/Beaver Lake Regional Park Meet the native plants of our local forests and IslandParent.ca

16 SUNDAY TO 22 SATURDAY Salish Sea Festival: A Week of Lanterns 7pm at various locations, Saanich Peninsula Due to COVID-19, the annual Salish Sea Lantern Festival and parade cannot proceed as planned however, ArtSea is offering opportunities to buildyour-own lantern, with online lantern-building tutorials and small, in-person workshops. From August 16 to 22, the community is invited to light up their lanterns each night at 7pm, anywhere that they are visible to the community and can be enjoyed by everyone. Prizes for the best display. artsea.ca/calendar/salish-sea-festival-a-weekof-lanterns/

19 WEDNESDAY RBCM@Outside: Parks Canada on Saturna Island 2pm online Join us for this special RBCM@Outside at East Point on Saturna Island. We will virtually journey to Gulf Islands National Park Reserve to meet up with Parks Canada Interpreter Athena George for a guided walk along this scenic coastline. Learn about southern resident orcas and Moby Doll, one of the first whales captured off East Point. royalbcmuseum.bc.ca/visit/events/calendar/ event/110034/rbcmoutside-parks-canadasaturna-island

Are you exhausted? Drained?

Or just plain worn out?

Whether your little one was a great sleeper, but now struggles, has never slept well at all, or you’re expecting a baby, I can help.

Rachael Johannessen | Pediatric Sleep Consultant

sleepeasybaby.com 778-400-5483 facebook.com/sleepeasybaby

We’re Jumping with Summer Fun

22 SATURDAY What a Bear Needs: Self-guided Walk 10am at East Sooke Regional Park If you were a bear, what would you need to survive in life? Lumber along the trail and follow the clues on this self-guided walk to find out! Drop by any time between 10am and 1pm. Begin at the kiosk in Aylard Farm parking lot off Becher Bay Road. Wheelchair accessible. All ages.

Toys, games and puzzles for all ages

koolandchild.com

#102 – 2517 Bowen Rd, Nanaimo 888.390.1775

26 WEDNESDAY Birding Basics: Self-guided Walk 10am at Witty’s Lagoon Regional Park Get to know your wild neighbours on this selfguided introduction to birdwatching and learn some tricks to help you identify local birds! Drop by between 10am and 1pm. Begin the walk at the kiosk by the main parking lot off Metchosin Road.

BC Transit #54 or #55. All ages.

30 SUNDAY What a Bear Needs: Self-guided Walk 12:30pm at Sooke Potholes Regional Park If you were a bear, what would you need to survive in life? Lumber along the trail and follow the IslandParent.ca

August/September 2020 27

clues on this self-guided walk to find out! Drop by activities online and include some socially-distant between 12:30 and 3:30pm. Begin the self-guided safe activities at the Saanich Fairground over the walk at the trailhead off of Parking Lot 3. All ages. Labour Day weekend including a farmers’ market. saanichfair.ca

SEPTEMBER

5 SATURDAY Birding Basics: Self-guided Walk 12:30pm at Island View Beach Regional Park Get to know your wild neighbours on this introduction to birdwatching and learn some tricks to help you identify local birds! Drop by between 12:30 and 3:30pm. Begin the self-guided walk at the kiosk by the main parking lot off Homathko Road. All ages.

5 SATURDAY TO 7 MONDAY

6 SUNDAY Native Plants: Self-guided Walk 12:30pm at Elk/Beaver Lake Regional Park Meet the native plants of our local forests and discover their many uses for humans and wild animals alike! Drop by between 12:30 and 3:30pm.

Begin the self-guided walk at the Filter Beds parking lot BC Transit #70, #72 or #75. All ages.

ONGOING Bug Club

Your Backyard Are you a bug lover and enjoy catching bugs?

Saanich Fair 2020 Explore the universe around our homes and look 8am–6pm at Saanich Fairgrounds and online for and document the bugs and insects in our The purpose of the North and South Saanich Agneighborhoods. Draw pictures, take notes and ricultural Society is “to advance the general inter- bring your finds to your library for submission to est of Agriculture and to hold a Fall Agricultural be added to the book, West Coast Guide to Bugs, Exhibition.” Our goal is to do just that in 2020 only which will be printed and bound in the Creativity it will look and feel different for our 152nd year as Commons branch in Nanaimo. Each submission we adapt to our COVID-19 world. We’ll use social will be assessed before being added. media tools to host educational and entertaining virl.bc.ca/event/bug-club

Kids + Parents Cooking Class Weekdays 10am online Delish has put together a livestream on Instagram every weekday at 10am for parents and kids to hop in the kitchen and make a super easy and fun recipe. instagram.com/delish

Mario Kart 8 SRC Championships Wednesdays 9am-6pm online Do you have what it takes to be the fastest Mario Kart racer around? Visit each week to race against other racers from 39 VIRL library branches. Join the tournament by selecting Online Play, picking Tournaments, an then click on Search by Code. Once there, you can enter the tournament code: 2295-4657-9499. virl.bc.ca

Maritime Mondays Mondays 10am-6pm at 2750 Harbour Rd, Port Alberni Children’s events involving stories, activities and crafts related to maritime heritage, ocean protection and cultural education centred on the West Coast of Vancouver Island and Barkley Sound. In order to remain COVID compliant, the number of children indoors will be limited and event will be outdoors (weather dependent) when capacity of

Victoria Music Lessons

2020 Music Lessons Violin Piano Theory

Victoriamusiclessons.ca Debbie.J.Young@outlook.com A.G.S.M. B.Mus.Ed. Dalcroze II

28 Island Parent Magazine

IslandParent.ca

4 in the lighthouse is reached. Craft supplies sanitized and pre-packed. $3/suggested donation. portalbernimaritimeheritage.ca

Maritime Museum Facebook Live Tour Tuesdays 11am-6pm online Join museum staff and visit different places in the museum and in Victoria to talk about Maritime topics. All tours available for free on Facebook Live, though donations are appreciated. mmbc.bc.ca/events/list/

Parent & Baby Chat Tues 0–4 mos; Wed 4–9 mos; Thurs 9–18 mos.

Online Baby Groups, 1-2pm with Eva Bild. us02web.zoom.us/j/81003112640

Summer Reading Club: Fun Things for Younger Kids Looking for some fun “Explore Our Universe!” activities? Visit the BC Summer Reading Club page for weekly puzzles, games, activities and colouring contests. Also enter the Caption Contest.

Content is updated every Monday during Summer Reading Club, so remember to check back weekly. Geared towards children ages 5-8 years. virl.bc.ca/event/summer-reading-club-funthings-for-younger-kids

Christ Church Cathedral School Jr. Kindergarten – Grade 8

Summer Reading Club: Scavenger Hunt A four-leaf clover? Something shiny? A homemade robot? What will you have to find (or make) this week? Visit the Summer Reading Club Facebook Group every Saturday morning to view scavenger hunt items for the week. Then, find (or in some cases, make) the objects and post a photo, drawing or description to the Facebook group.

One random participant will win a prize each week! Deadline each week is Friday at 5 pm. virl.bc.ca/event/summer-reading-clubscavenger-hunt/all/

Summer Reading Club: Explore Our Universe Quiz

Spaces available for September. Contact us to learn more. cathedralschool.ca | 250-383-5125

Island Catholic Schools

Do you know what a Mars Rover is? What about a nanobot? Or a robonaut? If you think you know the answers to those questions (and more!), you should attempt the weekly Summer Reading Club Quiz! A new quiz is loaded each Monday. virl.bc.ca/event/summer-reading-club-exploreour-universe-quiz/all/

Virtual Storytime Songs, stories, fingerplay, puppets and more!

Preschoolers (and their families) are invited to join online in the Storytime Corner Facebook Group for virtual storytime at 10:30 am every Monday and Friday morning. virl.bc.ca/event/virtual-storytime/all/

IslandParent.ca

Committed to educating the “whole” child in a Christcentered community of learning.

Island Catholic Schools: with schools located in Victoria, Duncan and Port Alberni.

For more information call 250-727-6893 or visit www.cisdv.bc.ca August/September 2020 29

PRESCHOOL&CHILDCAREDIRECTORY ESQUIMALT

SAANICH

Island Kids Academy Esquimalt.....250-381-2929 High quality child care (ages 1-5). Enriched Curriculum.

Includes Music Classes and Character Development using the Virtues Project. Wait list being taken.

Islandkids.ca.

Camosun College Child Care Services.......................................... 250-370-4880 Quality licensed facilities on both campuses providing children, newborn to 5 years, with rich early learning experiences in a learn through play environment. camosun.ca/childcare.

La Pré-Maternelle Appletree Preschool........................ 250-479-0292 French immersion preschool. Group child care programs. 30 months to school age. Christian centre. prematernelleappletree.com.

Carrot Seed Preschool...................250-658-2331 Where children can discover, imagine, construct and learn through play. Wondrous natural playground. carrotseedpreschool.com.

If you’d like to be listed in the Preschool & Child Care Directory, please email linda@islandparent.ca

METCHOSIN Metchosin Cooperative Preschool...................................... 250-478-9241 Play Explore Learn and Grow in beautiful rural Metchosin. Morning programs available for 3 and 4 year olds.

Contact our ECEs at metchosinpreschool@gmail.com.

• Licensed programs, for children 3–5 years • Flexible part-time schedules • Supported spaces available • 2, 3 and 4 hour morning or afternoon classes Encouraging your child’s development and learning through play and exploration Fullobeans.ca 250-360-1148 E: fullobeans@snplace.org

OAK BAY

Island Montessori House........... 250-592-4411 Inclusive, integrated and nurturing Preschool and Before/After School Care programs. Lovely rural setting with a focus on nature and outdoor environmental activities. islandmontessori.com.

Oak Bay Preschool........................250-592-1922 Oak Bay Preschool is a co-op preschool, using a playbased curriculum with qualified ECE and ECEA. We use a balance of indoor and outdoor classrooms to enrich your child’s preschool experience. Learn more at oakbaypreschool.com.

Recreation Oak Bay.......................250-370-7200 Offers full day Daycare and half day Preschool for children ages 3-5 years old. Before and after school care for Willows Elementary and afterschool care for Campus View Elementary is also offered.

Please contact childcare@oakbay.ca or call for more information.

Child Care

Resource & Referral Funded by the Province of BC

Your community’s best source of child care information and resources.

30 Island Parent Magazine

Pre-School Junior Kindergarten PacificChristian.ca 250-479-4532 Educational Excellence to the Glory of God

Ready Set Grow Preschool............. 250-472-1530 Join our learning through play preschool located in Hillcrest Elem. Our caring ECEs offer an enriched Program for 3-4 hour, 2-5 days a week and help with kindergarten transition. heoscmanager@gmail.com.

St. Joseph’s Early Learning Centre... 250-479-1237 A Christian childcare centre offering daycare and preschool programs for 3-5 year olds. Children learn through play-based and emergent curriculum in a warm and nurturing environment.

St. Margaret’s School Jr. Kindergarten................................. 250-479-7171 Apply now for our Early Learning (JK and Kindergarten) Programs. Early learning at SMS is a curriculum-based program for 3 and 4 year olds. admissions@stmarg.ca.

Wiseways Child Care Centre.......250-477-1312 Established, quality, licensed, Christian centre for 3-5 year olds. Experienced ECEs, cheerful spacious facilities, large playground. Subsidized fees welcome. Call for a tour. Wisewaysvictoria.com.

Looking for child care?

Need help with the Affordable Child Care Benefit?

Taking care of children?

Need child care training?

Call your local Child Care Resource & Referral for free referrals and resources.

Victoria & Gulf Islands: 250-382-7000 or 1-800-750-1868 Sooke: 250-642-5152 West Shore: 250-217-7479 Cowichan Valley: 250-746-4135 local 231 PacificCare (Ladysmith north): 250-756-2022 or 1-888-480-2273

gov.bc.ca/ChildCareResourceReferralCentres IslandParent.ca

SIDNEY Sidney Preschool............................. 250-655-3333 We are a licensed co-operative preschool with a philosophy of learning through play! Four and six hour programs available for children ages 2.5-5.

Celebrating 48 years! sidneypreschool.com.

VICTORIA

Victoria Montessori...................... 250-380-0534 Unique, innovative learning environment combining the best of Montessori and Learning Through Play. Open year round. 30mths–K. victoriamontessori.com.

VIEW ROYAL Island Kids Academy View Royal...250-727-2929 High quality child care (ages 1-5). Enriched Curriculum.

Includes Music Classes and Character Development using the Virtues Project. Wait list being taken.

Islandkids.ca.

v Comprehensive programs for Preschool through Grade 10 v Delivering academic excellence through music, dance, drama and visual arts v Outstanding educators, locations and facilities

JLC Victoria Japanese Preschool The only Japanese Immersion Preschool on the Island opens at Craigflower Schoolhouse. Offering the best environment for preschoolers to learn Japanese language and culture as natural as possible. jlcvictoria.com.

www.ArtsCalibre.ca 250.382.3533 Castleview Child Care................... 250-595-5355 Learning Through Play & Discovery. Licensed nonprofit, ECE staff. Since 1958. Morning or full-time care. castleviewchildcarecentre.com.

Centennial Day Care..................... 250-386-6832 Exceptional childcare and education 35+ years. Nature inspired, play based program. NEW central, “green” building. centennialdaycare.ca.

Christ Church Cathedral Childcare.......................................250-383-5132 ECE and specialist teachers provide an outstanding all day licensed program for 2.5–5 year olds at our Fairfield and NEW Gordon Head (Fall 2019) locations. cathedralschool.ca.

The Sir James Douglas Playschool................................250-389-0500 Fun, creative and educational ECE program for 3-5 year olds to grow and develop life long skills. Come play and learn in our bright and modern centre in Fairfield. sjdoutofschoolclub.com.

Queen of Angels Early Learning Centre..................... 250-701-0433 Our Centre is a lively, happy place for 3-5 year olds where children are encouraged to be confident, independent learners in a nurturing and safe environment.

Sunrise Waldorf School Preschool....250-743-7253 In a warm environment, this nature and play-based program enlivens and nurtures the growing child. sunrisewaldorfschool.org.

NANAIMO

Junior Kindergarten to Grade 12

Learn more today! 250-390-2201 AspengroveSchool.ca N A N A I M O ’ S J K–1 2 I N T E R N AT I O N A L B ACC A L AU R E AT E WO R L D S C H O O L

DUNCAN Duncan Christian School Early Learning Centre.....................250-746-3654 The first step in providing your child with everything they need to become a confident, capable learner in a Christ-centered, community focussed environment.

International Montessori Academy of Canada......................... 250-737-1119 Elementary K–12. Offers an enriching environment for preschool children 2-4.9 years with potty training. Nurturing young minds, keeping the spirit free. intmontessori.ca.

Queen Margaret’s School................ 250-746-4185 Early Childhood Education Program. Co-ed nurturing curriculum to develop the whole child. Healthy snacks and lunch provided. qms.bc.ca.

QUALICUM BEACH Little Star Children’s Centre.......... 250-752-4554 Little Gems Infant and Toddler Care..................................250-228-5437 Mother, Daughter owned and operated. Earth friendly preschool education inspired by nature. Infused with fun and creative daily yoga practices! Licensed group care. Enthusiastic ECE instructors. littlestardaycare.ca.

PORT ALBERNI John Paul II Catholic School...........250-723-0637 “Where children grow and learn through play.” We provide a program that will inspire development physically, socially, emotionally, cognitively, creatively and spiritually.

Nestled on 4 acres of lush west coast forest, our Award winning, Nature based program will not disappoint!

While firmly embracing the Reggio-Emila (Italy) Philosophy our dedicated team of educators use the environment as the third teacher as we encourage your child throughout their day.

Our purpose built facilities have been handmade using the trees from our forest. We have recently expanded to our new Spirit Bear Lodge located right next door!

Programs for Infants/Toddlers/Pre-school Age.

lexieslittlebears.ca 250-590-3603

BC Award of Excellence in Childcare & Prime Minister’s Award of Excellence in Early Childhood Education.

IslandParent.ca

August/September 2020 31

N ATU R E N OTES

Putting Leaf to Paper Y ears ago, whenever my family went travelling, my parents encouraged both my brother and me to keep a travel journal. We would write about our days—what we had seen, where we had gone, what was our favourite part of the day. We would cut up brochures and newspapers and collect postcards to glue in the pages. When

changing habits, could be a way to help us process and reflect on the world around us. This connection to what’s around us and the process of recording it, similar to my old travel journals, could take the form of nature journaling.

Nature journaling is a way of connecting to nature and the world around you through writing, storytelling, or

we got home, we’d have our photos printed to add in. Now, I can take out those journals and remember our adventures and see what my younger self was thinking and feeling.

Today, I find myself thinking about how we have fewer opportunities to travel because we’re encouraged to stay local. Our daily lives have changed and adjusting to this “new normal” takes time and effort. Recording this time, these

drawing. It can be simple with a pencil and notebook, or elaborate with paints, brushes, and sketchbooks. It can be full of poems and short stories, or drawings and paintings, or plant rubbings and tracings. A nature journal helps you stop and focus on the world around you—whether it’s a tree rustling in the breeze, a squirrel chittering high in a tree, or a waterfall rushing over rocks.

32 Island Parent Magazine

Photo: Andrea Neumann

IslandParent.ca

A great way to start your own family nature journal is by visiting a nearby regional park, beach, or your backyard without a pencil or paper. Get started by simply observing nature without recording it. Have everyone get down low to the ground and try to spot some insects crawling around.

Find leaves from different trees on the ground and compare them through touch, smell, and sight. Listen for songbirds hidden amongst the trees and see if anyone can mimic their call.

Really take your time in observing everything around you and when you return home, ask everyone what they enjoyed most from the day. Do they have a story about the day?

Storytelling can be one technique to gather ideas for nature journaling. The art of storytelling has been done for thousands of years by Indigenous peoples across Canada. Indigenous peoples observe and learn from the environment in a variety of ways that could include observations of animal behaviour, changing seasons, or migratory paths of birds.

The knowledge gained is then passed on through ceremonies and oral storytelling.

After sharing your stories, the next time you head out for an adventure, bring some pencils and paper with you. Let everyone choose what they want to write or draw about.

For younger kids, tracing leaves on paper can be a great way to fine-tune motor skills. Or have them do some leaf rubbings and they can go wild with their pencil. Older kids can try their hand at sketching or writing down what they observe.

STAGES

Performing Arts School

since 1980

l o o h c s e r P s e s s a l C e D a n c Se p tembe r 15

t a rt S e s s io n s S

th

One of the most important things for nature journaling is for you, the adult, to join in! When you participate, it encourages the kids to engage, especially if you’re enthusiastic.

And if/when you make a mistake—show the kids! It takes the pressure off the kids to be perfect and they won’t feel bad if they make a mistake. Laugh about it and keep it in the journal as just another experience to look back on.

Numerous studies have shown that spending time in nature helps not only physical health but emotional and mental health as well. This is especially key in these changing times when there’s so much uncertainty in the air. Nature journaling gives you the opportunity to slow down and observe your surroundings, recording, learning, and reflecting as you go.

Whether through species counts, weather observations, plant measurements, storytelling, drawings, paintings, or poems, your nature journal is purely a way for you to connect with nature and the world around you. There is no right or wrong way to keep a nature journal. It is for you and your family and any imperfections are what make the journal unique.

When out nature journaling, please help keep regional parks safe and open by practicing physical distancing from other visitors and staying home if you’re sick. For up to date information on CRD Regional Parks, visit crd.bc.ca/ covid.

Lauren Sherwood is a Parks Naturalist with the Capital Regional District.

WEST COAST

RHYTHMIC GYMNASTICS Recreational, Pre-competitive and Competitive Programs

Summer Camp Registration Now Open August 24th to 28th (Ages 5+)

Fall 2020 Registration Now Open (Ages 3+)

Even the littlest angel can dance For More Information: Call 250-384-3267, Email us at stagesdance@shaw.ca Or visit our website: www.stagesdance.com IslandParent.ca

westcoastrhythmics.ca

info@westcoastrhythmics.ca 778 817 0366 August/September 2020 33

W H AT’ SF O R D I N N E R

Zucchini Days

W

ith the increased interest in vegetable gardening there is sure to be a lot more zucchini around this summer.

Zucchini is surprisingly easy to grow, and quickly goes from small, grocery-store sized summer squash to enormous things the size of an adult arm. All it takes is a three day camping trip for a zucchini to get away from you.

If you’re not a gardener, then you can also find these giant zucchinis at the farmers market. Usually they’re in a discount bin, with a price stick of $3 for a 5lb zucchini. It’s a great deal, but what can you do with them?

Here are 3 ways to make use of these oversized squash.

Hopefully, you’ll discover that not only are they affordable and nutritious, they are also delicious.

Zucchini Medallions Prep time: 10 minutes; bake time: 20 minutes This is my kids’ favourite way to eat zucchini. They aren’t huge fans of zucchini and giant zucchinis are no exception. However, they love breaded zucchini medallions.

This recipe calls for baking the zucchini instead of frying, simply because it’s easier to get them all done at once. Feel free to fry the breaded zucchini instead for an extra crispy exterior.

1 giant zucchini or 5 small zucchinis 1⁄3 cup of flour 2 eggs 21⁄2 cups of bread crumbs 1⁄2 tsp of dried oregano 1⁄2 tsp of dried basil 1⁄4 tsp salt 1⁄2 cup of fresh grated Parmesan cheese 1. Preheat the oven to 450˚F. 2. Slice the zucchini into 5mm thick circles. Large zucchini may have fully developed seeds in the middle that need to be removed.

So slice the zucchini down the middle and scrape out the seeds before slicing it into semi-circles.

3. Set up three bowls. Have flour in the first bowl. Beat the eggs in the second bowl. Then have a mix of breadcrumbs, salt and herbs in the third bowl.

4. To make the breaded zucchini medallions, coat the zucchini slices in flour, then dip in the egg, and finish by coating in breadcrumbs.

5. Lay the breaded zucchini out on a cookie sheet. Sprinkle with Parmesan cheese.

6. Bake for 20 minutes until golden brown and crispy.

34 Island Parent Magazine

Baked Zucchini Parmesan Prep time: 15 minutes; cook time: 30 minutes Once you’ve made breaded zucchini medallions, it’s easy to turn them into a complete meal by serving them with pasta and tomato sauce as a baked zucchini Parmesan.

1 batch of zucchini chips 6 cups of tomato sauce 2 cups of grated mozzarella 1⁄2 cup Parmesa n cheese 1 package of pasta.

1. Preheat the oven to 425˚F 2. Prepare one batch of zucchini medallions with just a few changes. This recipe works best if the medallions are larger, so make them 1cm thick and if you’re using small zucchinis, slice them lengthwise rather than in circles. Also, don’t top with Parmesan cheese for the initial baking as the cheese will be added later.

3. Bake the medallions for 15 minutes only. The exterior needs to be crisp, but not browned.

4. Meanwhile grate the mozzarella and Parmesan cheese and heat up the tomato sauce.

5. Make the zucchini Parmesan in a 9" x 13" baking dish. Start by covering the bottom of the dish with 2 cups of tomato sauce. Then layer on all of the zucchini medallions, overlapping as needed. Top with the remaining tomato sauce. Finish by covering the entire dish with mozzarella and Parmesan cheese.

6. Bake for 15 minutes until the cheese is melted and bubbly.

7. Meanwhile, Cook the pasta according to the directions on the package.

8. Serve the zucchini Parmesan on top of the pasta.

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EXHIBITION OPEN JUNE 19–SEPT 7

One of the reasons I seek out giant zucchinis at the farmers’ market, is that it is just so easy to freeze for serving in the winter.

To prepare zucchini for freezing, simply grate it with a medium-sized grater, then freeze it in plastic zip-top bags or freezer containers. This is really easy if you happen to have a mandolin or a food processor with a grater attachment.

I typically freeze zucchini in 1 cup or 2 cup portions. Grated zucchini seems to completely disappear in most dishes, which makes it perfect for getting a bit more vegetables into your kids. Simply defrost the frozen zucchini in the refrigerator the day before you intend to use it. If you froze zucchini in a plastic bag, then I recommend placing it in a bowl for defrosting as it tends to sweat a lot of liquid.

We are pleased to welcome you back to enjoy this extraordinary exhibition!

GET YOUR TIMED TICKET AT RBCM.CA/WPY © Stefan Christmann

Freezing Grated Zucchini Total Time: 10 minutes

Here are a few ways to use grated zucchini:

• Bake zucchini bread.

• Add it to your favourite vegetable soup.

• Grated zucchini completely disappears in flavourful chili or tomato sauce.

Emillie Parrish writes from Victoria and Saturna Island. She is the author of the Pacific Northwest lifestyle blog BerriesAndBarnacles. com.

IslandParent.ca

August/September 2020 35

K I DS ’ R E A DS

Grumbly Glasses & Humble Hearts

A

s the characters in this month’s selection can assure you, it’s easy to fall into patterns because the ways we’ve always done things are comforting and consistent. It isn’t easy for us to swallow our pride, admit we were wrong, and make a new choice.

But this selection of stories will show you and your children that change—while it might be uncomfortable and squishy at first—is possible, and it can lead to so much more joy and contentment than you thought possible.

At first, Scarlett is unconvinced and continues to choose her grumbly glasses, but what her mother said gets her thinking about whether or not she could be happy just by choosing to be. For ages 3 to 5.

We might make changes after stepping back and trying to see the situation from someone else’s perspective as happens in Now? Not Yet? By Gina Perry (Tundra, 2019).

Moe and Peanut are going on a camping trip. Moe wants to go for a hike and set up camp first; Peanut wants to go swimming, and finds it hard to wait. The two friends get into a fight, with Moe storming off on his own.

While Moe is gone, Peanut has the chance to think about

Often we can make changes on our own, with a bit of encouragement from those who love us, like Scarlett does in in Scarlett’s Spectacles by Janet Surette and illustrated

by Shane Crampton (B&H Kids, 2019). This adorably illustrated story is about a young red-headed girl who complains about everything—going to bed, having a bath, cleaning her room. Even going to the park is not enough to make her smile.

One day Scarlett’s mom reminds her “Everyone has glasses: a glad and grumbly pair. And every day it’s up to us to choose the pair we’ll wear.”

36 Island Parent Magazine

IslandParent.ca

what happened, and looks at their camping trip from Moe’s perspective.

For ages 3 to 7.

King Mouse by Cary Fagan and illustrated by Dena Seiferling (Tundra, 2019), also highlights the importance of paying attention to the feelings and emotions of others. In this story, a mouse wakes up one morning to look for food. Instead of something to eat, he finds a crown. When he puts it on his head a bear lumbers by and asks if he’s a king. Mouse thinks about it for a moment before saying yes. All of the other animals begin celebrating mouse, until all but one of them finds a crown. For ages 3 to 7.

The Little Pink Rosebud was originally by Sara Cone Bryant but has been retold by Jennifer Shard with the help of Sally Garland’s illustrative talents (Flowerpot Press, 2019).

In this story, the Little Pink Rosebud is perfectly content to remain exactly

where she is. She wants nothing more than to spend her entire life in her cozy home underground. It isn’t until the Sun and the Rain start knocking on her door and window that she considers venturing out of her secure surroundings to see what else the world holds in store for her. For ages 3 to 7.

IslandParent.ca

Sometimes, our circumstances and the world around us catch up to us and force us to change like the hedgehog in in Hedge Hog by Ashlyn Anstee (Tundra, 2018). In this story, all of the animals are getting ready for winter. Unfortunately, all of the cozy burrows and holes fill up so not everyone has somewhere to stay. One by one these worried creatures ask the hedgehog if they can share his hedge for the winter.

The hedgehog is not okay with this and throws tantrum after tantrum every time he is asked. The cold creatures do find a place with the grasshopper under the hedge. But, in his anger, the hedgehog destroys his home, and now he has to find a place for winter. For ages 3 to 7.

As you and your kids take time to enjoy these stories and the last days of this weird summer, try to enjoy the small things, to see things from someone else’s perspective, and to remember that a change of heart can refresh you and revitalise your relationships with others.

Christina Van Starkenburg is a freelance writer and mother of two. Despite all of the books that flow through the house for this column, her boys still have their favourites and she’s read them a million times. Christina finds it exciting every time something new catches their eye, and she loves to share those treasures with all of you.

August/September 2020 37

CUTITOUT!

Hindsight is 20/20

D

uring stressful times it is really hard to practice all those great parenting skills we have learned.

Because we all have a history of some kind, we can’t rely on skills training alone to make long-lasting changes in our behaviour. Our fears and belief systems will get in the way.

We need to dig deeper and challenge those old belief systems, otherwise no matter what our intention, we will find ourselves parenting in ways we don’t want to.

Patterns in our parenting are often reactions to how we were raised. If our parents were overly permissive, we may not have learned to compromise and consider other people’s needs. If we experienced a controlling parenting style, we are likely to feel tension and anxiety concerning our children’s behaviour. We may become controlling like our parents, or we may swing to the other end of the scale and become too compliant or permissive. We may not have a sense of where our personal boundaries exist because they weren’t respected when we were children.

Your children may test you when you start to make changes so be prepared. If you’re letting go of being controlling, you may struggle if you see your children making mistakes when you don’t rescue them. You may feel embarrassed when your children dress funny, don’t do their homework on time or have messy rooms. If you’re learning to set limits and boundaries,

on & I n - P e r s io n s e Opt O n - L in

you may have a hard time standing firm when your child yells “I hate you! You’re the worst parent in the whole world!”

Find a calm moment, maybe as you read this article. Review an unpleasant conflict with one of your kids: • In looking back, what was the limit about?

• Does it represent a value or need that is important during this time?

• Does your child understand that value or need?

• What was the need of your child in this conflict?

• What has worked before?

• What would you do differently?

Reflecting back gives us the 20/20 insight that contributes to our parenting approach. We have to acknowledge that there are times that we simply don’t know what to do, or we do something we don’t like. Bringing these dynamics to our awareness gives us the opportunity to increase the possibilities for how we live our lives and know ourselves. Small positive changes that are doable, create the longest, most positive results.

Allison Rees has two LIFE Seminars books available: Sidestepping the Power Struggle and The Parent Child Connection. See lifeseminars.com.

Cl as se

s Be g i n

Septem

STAGES

ber 8 th

Performing Arts School since 1980

ses Clas l o ho .. e -S c angels. r P e e l t im itt Day or the l f

Come Dance With Us

• Offering classes for Teens & Pre-Teens in Jazz, Ballet, Lyrical, Tap. Musical Theatre, Acrobatics & Hip Hop, in a non-competitive atmosphere.

• Not sure which class to take?

- Try a Drop-In: No hassle, No Obligation.

STAGES Performing Arts School

#301 1551 Cedar Hill X Rd Call 250-384-3267 Email us at: stagesdance@shaw.ca Or visit our website: www.stagesdance.com 38 Island Parent Magazine

IslandParent.ca

Ballet - Pointe - Jazz - Contemporary - Tap - & More The Ballet Victoria Conservatory, a not-for-profit organization, provides the highest quality dance education from the recreational to the professional dancer in a safe, inclusive and positive environment.

Following the Vagonova Methodology, students study classical ballet as well as explore and develop skills in other styles of dance.

Small classes ensure students receive personal attention and care to achieve their greatest potential. a We offer classes and programs for all ages and levels, including adult ballet.

For more information bvconservatory.org or 778-402-9062

Summer camps spots for August are still available!

Join us for day camps at Royal Athletic Park.

Other specialty camps, from kayaking to claymation, are also available.

For more information and to register, visit

victoria.ca/recreation or call (250) 361-0732

We’re keeping it safe and having fun all summer long.

IslandParent.ca

August/September 2020  39

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