January 2020 Island Parent Magazine

JANUARY 2020

Vancouver Island’s Parenting Resource for 32 Years

Multi-tasking Strength or Weakness?

Parenting Resolutions Ditch the Diet & Choose Health

Winter Programs

STROLLERS • CRIBS • SHOES • BOOKS • TOYS • CLOTHING CAR SEATS • CARRIERS • MATERNITY • SLEEP AIDS DIAPER BAGS • HIGH CHAIRS • SKINCARE • BEDDING

1581 Hillside Ave, Victoria 778•265•5651 Across the street from Hillside Centre

SHOP ONLINE AT MOMEASE.CA

Fit For Life Personal Training Special 10 one-on-one personally tailored workout sessions with a Certified Personal Trainer

Promotional Sale:

299 for 10 sessions

$

December 15, 2019 until January 15, 2020

How to Register: Phone:

250.361.0732

In Person: Crystal Pool & Fitness Centre 2275 Quadra Street

2 Island Parent Magazine

IslandParent.ca

In Every Issue

TA B L E O F C O N T E N T S

Features

5

Fast Forward SUE FAST

6

Need to Know

18

Dadspeak GREG PRATT

22

Nature Notes AMIRA MADDISON

16

24

Multi-tasking: Strength or Weakness?

Family Calendar

32

What happens we bounce back and forth between various activities?

What’s for Dinner EMILLIE PARRISH

KELLY CLEEVE

34

Kids’ Reads

21

CHRISTINE VAN STARKENBURG

…in the ‘Heart of the City’

Family Services Directory

36

Memories of Nature

38

KATHLEEN E. BURTON

Happy Families, Healthy Families JANE BARCLAY

40

10

Preschool & Child Care Directory

42

The Wide World of Adaptive Sports

Diversabilities LAURA TRUNKEY

Physical Literacy for all.

44

YVONNE BLOMER

Mom’s POV

14

SERENA BECK

46

Winter Programs

Cut It Out! ALLISON REES

On the Cover Cooper M. (21⁄2) Photo by Amber Mudryk

JANUARY 2020

Vancouver Island’s Parenting Resource for 32 Years

Multi-tasking Strength or Weakness?

Parenting Resolutions Ditch the Diet & Choose Health

Winter Programs

4 Island Parent Magazine

Jim Schneider Publisher publisher@islandparent.ca Sue Fast Editor editor@islandparent.ca Linda Frear Account Manager/Office Manager linda@islandparent.ca Kristine Wickheim Account Manager kristine@islandparent.ca Katie Derion Account Manager katie@islandparent.ca Island Parent Magazine, published by Island Parent Group Enterprises Ltd., is a monthly publication that honours and supports parents by providing information on resources and businesses for Vancouver Island families.

Views expressed are not necessarily those of the publisher. No material herein may be reproduced without the permission of the publisher. Annual mail subscriptions (12 issues) are available for $35 (GST included).

Canadian Publication Mail Product Sales Agreement 40051398. ISSN 0838-5505.

Island Parent Magazine 830–A Pembroke St Victoria, BC V8T 1H9 250-388-6905 islandparent.ca

IslandParent.ca

FA STF O RWA R D

Fresh Starts & Small Steps

I

f you’re making New Year’s Resolutions this year, keep them simple. Want your family to spend less time in front of their various devices? Set aside a screen-free Saturday… morning instead of the full day. Trying to get in shape? Start by leaving your car behind one day a week and walking your kids to school instead of driving. Thinking about becoming vegetarian? Make Monday meatless instead of quitting the food group cold, er, turkey.

According to James Clear, author of Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones, tiny changes make a big difference.

Imagine a plane taking off from Los Angeles en route to New York, writes Clear. If, during takeoff, the pilot decided to adjust course 3.5 degrees to the south, the plane’s nose would move just a few feet.

“Outside of the cockpit, no one on board would notice the small movement. But over the course of a journey across the country, the impact of the change would be considerable, and the confused passengers would alight from their plane in Washington, DC, not New York.”

We don’t notice tiny changes because their immediate impact is negligible, he adds, but if we repeat small behaviours day after day, our choices compound into major results.

Asha Dornfest, founder of Parent Hacks and co-author of

Minimalist Parenting: Enjoy Modern Family Life More by Doing Less says to embrace the idea of course correction. In an interview for the New York Times she said when faced with a parenting decision, briefly survey your options then make the best choice you can, knowing you can recalculate your route to the destination as the situation—and your family—changes.

And remember: New Year’s resolutions aren’t just another to-do list.

Rivka Caroline, author of From Frazzled to Focused says another way to achieve your goals is to keep adding to your “to-don’t” list.

“As frustrating as it is, there just isn’t time for everything.

“Every ‘to-don’t’ makes room for a ‘to-do.’ Keep adding to your ‘to-don’t’ list.”

And think about how you want to spend your downtime.

“Weekends, evenings and vacations can be opportunities for adventure,” says Laura Vanderkam, author of What the Most Successful People Do on the Weekend. “But we often lose them in front of the TV because we fail to plan.” Make a bucket list of the fun you want to have as a family, she suggests, then get those ideas on the calendar.

Then celebrate every drop in the bucket, I’d add, not just when the bucket is full.

Happy New Year.

Transforming disability into ability.

At Discovery School, learning disabilities are transformed into valuable skills and abilities. Students work at their own pace in small classes, with focused, individualized instruction.

• Experienced, highly-qualified teachers • Ongoing assessment, evaluation & feedback • Improves organizational & study skills • Boost confidence, independence & responsibility • Nurturing environment based on Christian values • For students aged 7 – 18 in grades 1 – 12 • Individual Education Plans • Low student/teacher ratio

Enrolment is limited. For more information or to arrange a tour, visit www.discoveryschool.ca, call Sherri Ko at 250-595-7765 or email principal@discoveryschool.ca IslandParent.ca

January 2020 5

N E E DTO KN OW

Letter Writing Week at Royal BC Museum Help revive the lost art of letter writing at Royal BC Museum’s letter writing station from 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. during Universal Letter Writing Week from January 2 to 11 and sit down to pen a note. RBCM will provide the paper, pens, envelopes and even stamps—no parcels to South Africa please!

Who knows, the letter you write could one day become part of RBCM’s future archives. royalbcmuseum.bc.ca.

8 Resolutions That Are Easier Kept as a Family 1. Go to Bed at the Same Time. Make a mandatory lights-out time for everyone, yourself included.

2. Unplug Devices…an hour or so before bed.

3. Eat Meals Together.

4. Create Reading Time. Go to the library once a week.

Then, create “electronics-free” spaces in your home and designate a time when everyone will read.

5. Exercise as a Family. Go for walks together, play catch, shoot hoops, or join amateur sports teams or clubs.

6. Work Toward a Financial Goal. Be open about family finances and create financial goals as a family.

7. Switch Out the Soda.

8. Go Meatless One Day a Week.

From The Gottman Institute at gottman.com.

‘Chip In’ for the Kids For a donation to Easter Seals, you can recycle your Christmas tree at the annual fundraiser “Chip In for Kids” on January 4 and 5 from 10am to 4pm. Choose from drop-off location in Victoria, Shawnigan Lake, Duncan, Mill Bay and Chemainus (January 5 only). Or have a volunteer pick it up (with a minimum donation of $20). eastersealsbcy.ca.

6 Island Parent Magazine

CALLING ALL ECO HEROES The 2020 Superpower your School Contest, presented by Staples Canada in collaboration with EcoKids and Earth Day Canada, recognizes schools that are doing their part to protect the planet. Eco Heroes! Your environmental initiatives could help you win 1 of 10 prizes of $20,000 worth of technology for your school. Please note: entrants must be an elementary or secondary school located in Canada. Entries will be accepted until January 31, 2020. For contest details, visit staples.ca/powereco.

IslandParent.ca

Share Some Warmth with Big Brothers Big Sisters Help Big Brothers Big Sisters (BBBS) of Victoria help children and youth in communities from Sooke to Salt Spring. Drop off your clothing donations at: • Main Office, 230 Bay Street • Tillicum Mall parking lot outside Old Navy • Value Village, 1810 Store Street Call to arrange a free pick up at 250-385-7226. bbbsvictoria.com.

COMPREHENSIVE FAMILY DENTISTRY family centered practice extended hours evenings and weekends the latest equipment and caring staff request an appointment online

saanichdentalgroup.com 119–1591 McKenzie Ave, Victoria 250 477 7321 info@saanichdentalgroup.com Victoria’s favourite dentists believe a healthy smile starts early. Free first visit for children under 5.

Classes, Community & More!

Classes Ÿ Childbirth Preparation & Refreshers Ÿ Baby Care & Infant First Aid Ÿ Siblings - Grandparents

Groups Ÿ Baby Groups Ÿ Pregnancy Happy Hour

Yoga & Fitness Ÿ Prenatal & Postnatal Ÿ Yoga for Toddlers

Ÿ Ÿ Ÿ Ÿ

Retail Store Nursing bras and tops Breastpump sales & rentals Baby Carriers Baby Clothes, Books and Toys 975 Fort Street, Victoria motheringtouch.ca - 250-595-4905

IslandParent.ca

January 2020 7

NEW

In Victoria

FRENCH SPANISH GERMAN

Language Immersion Classes for Ages 3 – 12

FUN. AFFORDABLE. SMALL GROUPS.

Send your child on an exciting language adventure every week, without having to pay for airfare!!!

• Rookie Classes • Classes for Home Learners • Classes for children with French, Spanish or German Heritage

Register for a FREE TRIAL CLASS at languagehub4kids.com

Call/WhatsApp 250-813-0671 #203–920 Hillside Avenue

Saanich Schools (SD63) Kindergarten Information Evening for Fall 2020 January 22, 2020

1000X5: 1000 Books by Age Five Children’s Book Recycling Project

I

n your home, how many baby and preschooler books sit on shelves, tables and under the bed? More than 50? 100? How many times have you read the same story to your little one? More than 10? 25? 50? Congratulations—you are building a love of reading that will last a lifetime. Sadly, many babies and preschoolers in our communities do not have books in their homes and do not build this essential habit in the early years.

Please join us for an evening of information about SD63 Kindergarten programs.

January 22, 2020 7 - 8:30 pm Keating Elementary 6843 Central Saanich Rd, Saanichton V8Z 5V4

Kindergarten Registration for Fall 2020

January 27 - January 31, 2020

All Children born in 2015 are eligible to register for Full Day Kindergarten at your neighbourhood school.

Register January 27—January 31, 2019 at your neighbourhood school.

Brentwood Elementary Cordova Bay Elementary Deep Cove Elementary

Keating Elementary

ḰELSET Elementary

Lochside Elementary

French Immersion registrations:

Deep Cove Elementary (North Zone) Keating Elementary (South & Central Zone)

To register at your neighbourhood school please bring: • Proof of your address (resident driver’s license, utility bill, etc).

• Proof of your child’s age (birth certificate).

• Your child’s BC Care Card.

After January 31, all K-5 registrations will be done at:

Saanich School Board Office 2125 Keating Cross Road, Saanichton 8am to 4pm

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Prospect Lake Elementary Sidney Elementary 1000X5 Children’s Book Recycling Project is changing that reality, one book at a time. Families at most elementary schools in Victoria, Saanich, and Sooke School districts and 7 independent schools donate gently used picture books for babies and preschoolers. Retired teachers and administrators donate time to sort, label, and gift bag those books.

The gift bags are delivered to Strong Start Centres and community agencies where families monthly take home three quality books for each child.

January 27 is National Literacy Day. Enjoy a book with your child. Make a difference to another child; donate picture books for babies and preschoolers to your nearest elementary school.

Visit 1000x5.ca for information or to make a charitable donation. Contacts: Eileen Eby in Victoria School District at eileeneby@shaw.ca, Daphne Macnaughton in Saanich School District at dlmvictoria@ shaw.ca or Denise Brown in Sooke School District at leahybrown@shaw.ca.

IslandParent.ca

4 Ways Ease Back-to-School After Winter Break 1. Review December classwork. While some teachers devote several days or an entire week to review, you can conduct your own review session at home.

2. Organize school materials in advance. Pack/help pack your child’s backpack and lunch the evening before, rather than waiting until the busy morning.

3. Include physical play in your schedule. Build opportunities for physical play into your before and/or after-school schedule.

4. Re-evaluate current routines. Now is the perfect time to consider all of your engagements, both new and old, and eliminate those routines that are cumbersome or ineffective—and then, replace them with new ones.

From sheknows.com.

Polar Bear Swims on New Year’s Day 2020 “Chill Out” on New Year’s Day with a c-c-c-cold swim. Here are a few to choose from: Victoria: Hamsterly Beach at noon.

Esquimalt: Esquimalt Lagoon at 11:30am.

Sooke: Whiffin Spit at 11:30am.

Metchosin: Taylor Beach at 1pm.

Sidney: Lochside Drive (just down from Tulista Park) at noon.

Glass Beach (at the end of Beacon Ave) at noon.

Ladysmith: Transfer Beach, 11am-1pm, plunge at noon.

Parksville: Parksville Beach, registration at 11:30am, plunge at noon.

Happy Habits 1. Be Proactive—Manage feelings and stay optimistic.

2. Begin with the End in Mind—Anticipate the good, persist, and be resilient.

3. Put First Things First—Prioritize positive choices, plans and accomplishment.

4. Think Win-Win—Adopt a growth mindset.

5. Seek to Understand and Be Understood—Manage feelings and be empathetic.

6. Synergize—Focus on strengths.

7. Sharpen the Saw—Take care of self and others and find meaning and purpose.

From Sean Covey’s 7 Habits of Happy Kids on psychologytoday.com.

IslandParent.ca

January 2020 9

The Wide World

of Adaptive Sports T

Skating

ake one small, barely walking, three-year-old son. Do not fret that he has low muscle tone, he is a keener in all things, or so you tell yourself. You’ve already borrowed a pair of strap-on, double-bladed skates which your friend used for her tiny daughter last year, though she is your son’s same age.

You are good on skates, and though your husband is less so, he will manage. “Here we go!” you exclaim, as you help your son stand. He will not walk in these things but stands looking wide-eyed. “Try walking!” you say. You are pumped up on jubilation, yes you are. “Here we go!” you say again, son having walked to the gate, and you having stepped down onto the rink, your husband air-lifts him to the ice. “Ready?” All that moves are the tiny pale eyebrows above your son’s still, staring blue eyes. “OK! Hold onto the wall or me,” you say. The effort to stay on his feet makes it impossible for your son to hold his upper body. He goes boneless from the waist up. You hold him aloft, arms around his chest, “skating” behind him.

Snowshoeing

& Skiing

10 Island Parent Magazine

IslandParent.ca

Photo: Derek Ford

Tiny-footed he wears the strap-on skates for years, then graduates to rental hockey skates. Does he take lessons? No. But you go regularly in fall and winter.

Skate when there is ice at The Empress, skate at Butchart Gardens before singing the “12 Days of Christmas.” Skate when visiting cousins in Nanaimo.

Jump ahead 10 years. Upper body strength has come a long way, your son is an active 13-year-old—tall and slim despite his Prader-Willi Syndrome and dangerously too loud despite being officially non-verbal. He begins to move his own feet during a game of basketball on the ice. This is a slow process, but skating is not an everyday thing like hiking. You try to go before the first school trip of the season. Partly to practice, get the ice legs back, but also because you want his typical peers to see he can do things they can do. Last year you noted that many of them are beginners and quietly celebrated this similarity.

Colwyn, who is 13 now, has been wedged into this or that contraption so

Royal Theatre

March 21 | 7:30 pm • March 22 | 2:00 pm Tickets: balletvictoria.ca • 250-386-6121

PAUL DESTROOPER - ARTISTIC DIRECTOR - BALLET VICTORIA

SPRING BREAK ACTING & FILM CAMPS Fo r C r e a t i v e K i d s Tw e e n s a n d Te e n s !

Young film makers will get the opportunity to be guided by professional mentors.

No experience necessary • Produced by Jacqui Kaese

Kids & Tweens Acting 4 Film Camp March 16-20 • M/T/W 10-1 pm T/F 10-3 pm (Ages 8-11 yrs) | Cost per camp $225 plus tax

Teen Full Throttle Film Camp

March 23-27 • M-F 10-3 pm (Ages 12-16 yrs) | Cost per camp $250 plus tax

he could participate in winter sports: from being towed in his Chariot while we cross-country ski at Mt Washington to being held on a toboggan by his dad while they raced down a just-barely snow-covered grassy slope. Ice skating was a back-breaking labour, but now we are both upright, and I skate backIslandParent.ca

Teen Full Throttle Film Camp

March 16-20 • M-F 10-3 pm (Ages 12-16 yrs) | Cost per camp $250 plus tax

Kids & Tweens Acting 4 Film Camp March 23-27 • M/T/W 10-1 pm T/F 10-3 pm (Ages 8-11 yrs) | Cost per camp $225 plus tax

January 2020 11

Nurturing young minds. Keeping the spirit free.

International Montessori Academies of Canada Kindergarten to Grade 6 BC Curriculum Strong Montessori academics/small classes French immersion/art and science

wards holding his hands. Snowshoeing was an easy sport for him. While his cousins moaned that it was just walking on snow—he trekked quietly along—big shoes, soft landing, sunshine and snow.

One of us would walk ahead, holding a scarf tied to his wrist to keep him moving.

IMAC Montessori Academy

2375 Koksilah Road, Duncan 250-737-1119 www.intmontessori.ca

STAGES Performing Arts School since 1980

Come Dance With Us

• Offering classes for Teens & Pre-Teens in Jazz, Ballet, Lyrical, Tap. Musical Theatre, Acrobatics & Hip Hop, in a non-competitive atmosphere.

• Not sure which class to take?

- Try a Drop-In: No hassle, No Obligation. es lass C l oo S ch gels... e r n P i me little a t y Da or the f

STAGES Performing Arts School

#301 1551 Cedar Hill X Rd (behind the Shelbourne MacDonalds)

Call 250-384-3267 Email us at: stagesdance@shaw.ca Or visit our website: www.stagesdance.com 12 Island Parent Magazine

Two significant differences between typical and diverse kids may be how slowly neurodiverse kids learn competence in sports compared to typical kids and how much parents may have to get in there and join. Never do we just send Colwyn off for a skating or swimming lesson. Always we have forms to fill in, behaviours to discuss, meetings, doctor’s forms and me or my husband on hand in case needed. While their peers all graduated out of Parent and Tot groups, kids with special needs are often being supported by their parents into adulthood.

This is not the case at the Whistler Adaptive Sports Program, where one of the key tenants, other than getting kids from the ages of three to adult out enjoying physical literacy in all seasons, is that parent-involvement is not necessary. “Mom and dad can drop off,” says Chelsea Walker, the Executive Director of Whistler Adaptive Sports Program.

“Parents are involved in planning, certainly family can join in skiing and other activities, but they are not required to be assistants. We want them to be able to go off and do what parents need to do.”

Walker has created the equivalent of the Individual Education Plan (IEP) IslandParent.ca

schools offer, but this is an ISP, an Individual Sports Program.

Her team can help kids access the sports they want to try, and the support needed within.

“We meet, talk about needs and desires and where successes are as well as struggles,” says Walker. “We develop a program that will connect kids with peers, or if they need 1:1, look at how to scaffold for more success toward peer-based activities.”

Some kids must stay with 1:1 support, especially if they have high medical needs, but Whistler Adaptive can work with any athletes to help them enjoy the outdoors in all seasons.

Though we might worry about low tone with Colwyn, poor balance, being too cold with his poor temperature control, we have it relatively easy. Some children live beyond sensory discomfort with complicated medical needs, sometimes low muscle tone, fear of speed and novel movements and a tendency to self-injure, making it hard for parents to consider adaptive sports.

In fact, because he has a school trip sometime in February on Mt. Washington for downhill skiing, I’ve registered him with the Mt. Washington Adaptive Program so the team there can meet him, he can get used to the hard boots and skis, and see how it goes. I’m less concerned with him becoming a skier and more interested in him having an equal opportunity to join in.

My motto is always—try. And because there is an adaptive program in place, we can. I’d have a hard time introducing skiing in the way I did skating as I’ve not skied in years. Also, I think as Colwyn gets older, it’s healthy for him to do things NOT with his dad and me, but with peers and helpers who can teach him and give him time separate from his parents.

IslandParent.ca

Physical literacy is even more important to kids with low tone and disabilities, but it is important to all of us. “There has been a generational shift, where people are doing less sports,” says Walker. “We used to just put on skates and go to a lake.

We learned basic literacy. We want to offer that to the kids. The sky is the limit, there are no barriers.”

Resources

• Vancouver Island Society for Adaptive Snowsports visasweb.ca • Special Olympics victoriaspecialolympics.com Yvonne Blomer is a Victoria writer and the past Poet Laureate of Victoria. Her most recent books are Sugar Ride: Cycling from Hanoi to Kuala Lumpur and Refugium: Poems for the Pacific.

January 2020 13

Winter Programs From art classes to wellness programs—and everything in between—our community offers an array of programs, resources and services for families. To find out what’s available, read on.

(For more details on the following listings, please refer to the ads in this issue of Island Parent).

ART The Art Gallery of Greater Victoria kicks off the New Year with a range of children and family programs. With art classes for all ages at the AGGV Studio, there is something for everyone. Gather up the family and visit the Gallery this winter and explore hands-on art-making and ideas at the AGGV’s recurring Family Sunday event. This popular program often features special guests like storytellers, artists, performers or musicians. Visitors can expect a wide variety of artistic experimenting, and children under 5 are always free! 1040 Moss Street, Victoria.

250-384-4171. aggv.ca/events.

DANCE/DRAMA/ PERFORMING ART Ballet Victoria. The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry is one of a few stories in the world literature legacy that equally satisfy the tastes of both children and adults. Ballet Victoria is turning this charming tale into an engaging trip all over the universe; a trip that results in fascinating discoveries and helps to realize life’s true values. The original choreography by Paul Destrooper on the talented BV dancers, captures the imagination and fills your heart with wonder.

Tickets at balletvictoria.ca.

As the premiere school for young actors in Victoria, Kaleidoscope focuses on a single mission: Training the best and brightest students to become highly skilled, confident, and well-rounded young performers. Kaleidoscope’s innovative training inspires creativity and imagination while exploring respected techniques under the guidance of our esteemed faculty, directors, and industry experts. Discover our classes in Musical Theatre, Acting, Drama, Improvisation, Comedy, Acting for the Camera, plus Pro-D Day Camps, Spring Break and 14 Island Parent Magazine

Summer Programs. 250-383-8124. kaleidoscope.bc.ca.

SKAM School of Performing Arts offers young people ages 3 to 18 a space to creatively explore and develop their dramatic skills and passions. Classes are offered in acting for theatre and film, improv, sketch writing, and more. Our trained and experienced theatre artists help students develop individual skills in movement, voice, dramatic techniques, and performance. Students will build their confidence, engage in creative thinking, and collaborate with others. Contact us at skam.ca or 250-386-7526.

Spotlight Academy offers training in acting for stage, film and television for students of all ages. Taught by industry professionals who provide education excellence. 2020 registrations now ongoing, with classes in Nanaimo and Langford. Adults 16+, Teens 12-15 yrs, Tweens 8-11 yrs, Tykes 4-7 yrs. Check the website for more details. Nanaimo: spotlightacademy.com. Langford: spotlightacademyvictoria.com. Email: spotlight@shaw.ca. Cell 250-714-2555.

Since 1980 STAGES has held a tradition of providing dancers of all ages and levels of experience the very best training possible in a supportive, non-competitive and caring environment in which they can learn about the performing arts and themselves. Through the training we offer it is our goal to promote confidence and a sense of accomplishment in each student. It is our belief that all students should have an equal opportunity to learn in a safe environment fostering selfexpression, a healthy body, responsibility, discipline, and pride in their abilities. For more information please visit us at stagesdance.com.

EDUCATION Christ Church Cathedral School. Victoria’s Independent Anglican School for Jr. Kindergarten to grade 8. Now with 2 locations for the Childcare & Jr. Kindergarten program: Fairfield and Gordon Head. The Main Campus provides an exceptional education for students from Kindergarten to Grade 8. Convenient downtown location and out of school IslandParent.ca

care programs. Contact us for a personal tour. cathedralschool.ca. 250-383-5125.

GYMNASTICS

campers with top quality instruction each day. Strong emphasis is placed on the fundamentals—stance, grip, posture, full swing, rules and etiquette. highlandpacificgolf.com.

Victoria Gymnastics is celebrating its 40th year and enjoying the success of its two locations—downtown and near Royal Roads University in Colwood.

We continue to provide quality artistic gymnastics for boys and girls ages two through adult, beginner through advanced. Our non-competitive achievement programs provide children with a skill set advantage for all activities. We guarantee our 8 to 1 ratio, offer convenient class times and ensure certified instruction so that your child will excel in a well-structured, fun and safe environment. Visit victoriagymnastics.com.

Island Circus Space is Victoria’s first contemporary circus school offering circus classes for all ages, from beginner to advanced. Our versatile facility will satisfy nearly all of your circus needs from juggling, balancing, partner acrobatics, aerial silks, aerial hoop, dance trapeze and so much more! Circus combines athleticism, creativity and performance into one exciting activity. So whether you’re a kid or a big kid at heart, come give circus a try!

RECREATION

The Juan de Fuca Skating Club has qualified professional coaches who have a passion and dedication in training each skater to achieve excellence in their individual skating goals. They mentor skaters with patience, compassion, goal setting, reasonable expectations, and friendship! The Club skates at the Juan de Fuca Arena and offers Kinderskate, CanSkate, Power Skating, Star 1-5 & the “New” Star 6-Gold, Pre-Juvenile-Senior Competitive, and Synchronized Skating.

Please visit jdfskatingclub.com for ongoing registration!

Central Saanich Little League. We play baseball at Centennial Park in beautiful Central Saanich. We are a non-profit organization run completely by volunteers. We are excited to be a part of Little League Canada. A tradition since 1951 with over 200 leagues and over 75,000 boys and girls in Canada today. Our league encourages kids with all different skill levels. Come and learn the game of baseball in one of the best parks in town.

From Blastball to league play to competitive tournament ball, we have it all. cslittleleague.com.

City of Victoria. Start off 2020 with active, fun and healthy activities for you and your family. January is a perfect time to make health and wellness a focus. Our Fit for Life Personal Training Special offers 10 one-on-one personally tailored workout sessions with a Certified Personal Trainer. Register online at victoria. ca/recreation or in person at Crystal Pool & Fitness Centre, 2275 Quadra Street.

Pacific Coast Swimming. The Lightning Fast Swim Series has 5 levels and is based on a Swimming First Philosophy which

introduces the techniques of competitive swimming right from the earliest levels, to develop improved levels of swimming efficiency and skills. It is designed primarily for 3 to 10 year olds who want to learn to swim with confidence, gain endurance and improve stroke technique.

The series is designed by our award winning Pacific Coast Swimming Coaches and is an innovative skills-based swimming program designed to be mastered quickly by young children.

Located on the Juan De Fuca Recreation grounds at 1767 Island Hwy, Triangle Baseball supports players from multiple municipalities including Colwood, Langford, Metchosin, Sooke and East sooke.

Spring Baseball or our “House” league is our grassroots level community baseball program. This has been designed by Baseball Canada and Provincial Baseball Organizations to ensure that a child’s entry into the game of baseball is appropriate and enjoyable while always stressing the proper FUNdamentals. Visit trianglebaseball.ca for more information!

Become a swimming instructor or lifeguard at West Shore Parks & Recreation. The path to working at the Juan de Fuca Pool has two Streams: Swim Instructor and Lifeguard. We may hire Swim instructors with only the WSI certification but to Lifeguard you must have completed both WSI and NL. Each have prerequisites; more information can be found in our Activity Guide at westshorerecreation.ca. Lifeguarding Courses start in January and lead into our summer hiring in May so register now!

Nike Junior Golf Camps are excited to return to Victoria at Highland Pacific Golf Course. Open to juniors of all abilities, the spring and summer camp programs offer campers top quality instruction in a fun and supportive environment. This program is designed for boys and girls between the ages of 5 and 16. The staff is on hand to provide IslandParent.ca

January 2020 15

Multi-tasking: Strength or Weakness?

I

watched my children as they sat at the kitchen table, each attempting to complete their homework. Books were open, pencils sharpened and they were working productively…for about four minutes!

Then, my youngest took a break to find a song on YouTube that he wanted to listen to. My oldest had his iPhone by his side and stopped every 90 seconds to check or send a text message.

Eventually they refocused, but soon decided that they needed a snack. Then they answered a question or two, ate some fruit, checked their messages, changed the song, attempted to write another sentence, chatted about soccer practice that evening, ate some fruit, checked their messages, changed the song…You get the picture.

cooking dinner, answering texts, listening to music and chatting with my children. Our current culture is made up of chronic multitaskers! Even now, as I write this article, I am having coffee, with my cellphone by my side just in case I receive an email or a text.

I used to brag about my ability to multitask. I am, after all, a woman, a mother, a teacher. I practically have a Masters Degree in doing several things at once. I take pride in the number of tasks I can accomplish in a day and I criticize my poor husband for only being able to do one thing at a time.

However, when I took a minute to consider my own multi-tasking nature, I realized that I am constantly running through a to-do list in my mind. I always feel rushed and complain that there are not

Perhaps, like me, your first instinct is to criticize this generation of children for their lack of attention span and pending addictions to technology. Watching the squirrel-like behaviour of my children had me worried about the direction of our society. This is the future of our world?! Yikes!

However, as I watched them in combined fascination and horror, I realized that I was

enough hours in my day. I focus more on tasks than I do on people. At the end of the day, I feel productive and accomplished, but am I truly happy and fulfilled? Does any of this sound familiar to you?

I began to wonder what multi-tasking does to our brains. And, as we are setting this fast-paced example for our children, what is multi-tasking doing to their learning and

16 Island Parent Magazine

their brain development? Is multi-tasking a valuable or detrimental skill? So, I began to research.

What I found is that our brains can only truly concentrate on one thing at a time.

Despite our belief that we are accomplishing two things at once, our brain is simply switching back and forth. Researchers call this “task-switching” and their work generally falls into one of two veins: 1) task-switching is a necessary life skill or 2) task-switching can slow down the learning process. I find value in both opinions.

It is true that our children need to multi-task in order to succeed in life, for it promotes mental flexibility. For example, in an elementary classroom context, children must be able to focus on their work, stop to ask or answer a question, listen to the chatter of their peers, perhaps go to the washroom and then come back to attend to their task. In a high school or college setting, students need to listen to a lecture and simultaneously take notes.

As an adult, we may be working at our desk and become interrupted by a phone call or a meeting. We often multi-task throughout the course of our day. We listen to music while doing chores, we chat with passengers while driving. We navigate small interruptions as we attempt to accomplish any given task.

Children must learn to regulate their attention and prioritize their to-do lists.

However, some research argues that task-switching is relatively harmless as long as both tasks are done with relative ease. As soon as one task becomes effortful, our learning may suffer. Researchers have coined the term, “switch cost.” When our brains bounce back and forth between various activities, it may result in increased errors and longer reaction times (the time it takes our brain to refocus on the learning task at hand).

In terms of learning, multi-tasking can be somewhat disruptive, for we are digesting information in snippets, instead of in depth.

Studies show that this style of learning actually lowers the retention of new information and leads to a lower level of engagement in any given activity. For example, reading comprehension is proven to be lower when IslandParent.ca

we read with the TV on in the background.

Though we may not be watching the show, our brains still recognize and want to decifer the noise.

However, when we take time to learn something slowly and deliberately, with complete focus, the information will be processed and understood to a greater degree.

So, what does this mean for me and my family? For one, I needed to set a better example by choosing to slow down and have a more manageable to-do list each day. This was a game changer for me. Not only am I modelling good behaviour for my family by focusing on only one or two things at a time, the pressure to check multiple tasks off my list has been alleviated. My stress level is lower and I am more present for my kids.

our belief that “weDespite are accomplishing two things at once, our brain is simply switching back and forth.

IslandParent.ca

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I also chose to share some of my concerns with my family and filled them in on the research. Together, we decided to implement some phone-free times, starting with after school homework. In having an open and honest discussion and allowing my children to understand why I held certain beliefs, I was pleasantly surprised by their level of buy in. Because they understood the logic of my concerns, they not only agreed, but even furthered the conversation.

As a family, we also agreed to put our phones away during family time, when the primary focus should be on connecting and enjoying each other. While we watch our favourite TV show, phones are in the kitchen. When we are in the car, phones are put away so that we can focus on conversation and scenery. These small changes serve to remind us what our priorities are.

Multi-tasking is not entirely detrimental.

In today’s hectic world, it is a necessary and useful skill. However, we need to be mindful not to let it become all-consuming and remember that there are times when we must allow our brains to focus. Learning and meaningful relationships should be the priority and deserve our full attention.

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DA D S PE A K

Parenting Resolutions

I

present the following humorous anecdote to you, fellow frazzled parents, so you can relate with a mournful and commiserative chuckle (and then buy me a beer).

I initially wrote this column really early.

It was the day after Halloween and I was all gut-rot stoned from eating my kids’ candy and I got mixed up in my months, as you do when you’re gut-rot stoned off Snickers bars. So I wrote an entire column about Christmas, being a responsible parent, and trying to not be an environmental train wreck during that least-environmentally-friendly time of year. I was, literally, about to hit “send” on the email to my long-suffering editor here at Island Parent when it suddenly hit me: This column is running in January. Generally speaking, January happens after Christmas. So, back to the drawing board.

What does the New Year mean for parents?

That’s what I need to get into here.

18 Island Parent Magazine

Tricky because I’m writing this on November 22 and I haven’t even started the annual environmental destruction in the name of Christmas, so thinking about the new year is a challenge.

Like a lot of parents, though, I do like to use the start of a new year to try to make some changes. I’ve admitted here before I—like a lot of you, I have no doubt about it—struggle with not sneaking peeks at my phone when I’m spending time with my kids.

I still have no idea why: my inbox is a disaster most days. I’d be happy to NOT be looking at many of the emails I get, so why do I break up precious child time to do it?

As a chronic overworker, boss, and freelancer, it’s hard to not think that something is on fire or there’s a job I need to accept IMMEDIATELY otherwise someone else will take it, at all times.

There’s never a fire, and there’s not much work these days, so, really, I’m good!

I’m also trying to not be too much of a grumpy old man when it comes to life in general. Some may disagree, but I think I’m doing okay! The secret is knowing a nice cold beer awaits me at the end of the…er, I mean, the secret is knowing that I’m bringing that much more sunshine into my wonderful family’s day.

Seriously, though, this sounds hopelessly annoying, but, clearly, my life is pretty good if I’m able to do stuff like have kids and write for this magazine. Yours is probably going alright if you’re able to take 10 minutes to read this column.

Enough with the sour-face too-muchtime-arguing-on-Facebook garbage. Give me a smile, and I’ve got one waiting for you.

So, “lay off the phone,” “don’t be a bastard,”…what could a third parenting resolution be this year?

One parenting concept that resonated with me in 2019 was realizing that parents have the power. We pulled our kids

IslandParent.ca

out of school to homeschool them. This was not an easy decision when some days it feels like social media has more pull over my parenting decisions than my own brain does.

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But that seems like a good third resolution to bring with me into 2020: remembering and sticking to the idea that parents are in charge. And respecting other parents’ decisions on things (and stop arguing on Facebook; it’s a horrible look, parents, and when was the last time you changed someone’s mind on vaccines or gun control by name-calling anyway?).

The power is ours as parents—not society, not the government—to make parental decisions. I mean, I’m one sentence away from running into the woods and starting an anarchist commune, so I’ll stop here, but not before I give you a friendly reminder to buy me a beer, and also to say, all joking aside, Happy New Year, and keep doing the best you can as a parent. At the end of the day, it’s all we’ve got.

Greg Pratt is the father of three children and a local journalist and editor. His writing has appeared in, among other places, Today’s Parent, Wired, Revolver and Douglas.

IslandParent.ca

program

• lovely rural location

connecting children to nature

Our kids and their teachers:

WORTH INVESTING IN ItTakesATeacher.ca

A message from the Greater Victoria Teachers’ Association January 2020 19

2000

2019

2000

2019

Swan Lake christmas hill n a t u r e

20  Island Parent Magazine

s a n c t u a r y

IslandParent.ca

Memories of Nature

W

hat is your favourite childhood nature memory?

One of mine is of playing hide and go seek in a lupine field with my brother and sisters. I can still hear my sister counting to 100 and my brother encouraging me to hide! I have a scar on my right knee that will forever be a reminder of how much fun we had playing outside.

I loved spending time outdoors, watching the bees pollinate the flowers and, when the day was done, swinging on my tree swing that hung from the giant Willow tree in the front yard. This is but one of many memories that ignited my passion for nature.

I was fortunate as a child, to live on a property in the country where I was able to explore natural areas literally just steps from my family’s front door. Living in Victoria, as an adult and raising young children, I did not have the same luxury. Thankfully, there was a magical place, Swan Lake—‘the Natural Heart of the City’—which shaped the course of my parenting and that of my children’s child-

hood memories as they grew up. That place drives my motivation to foster the community’s understanding and appreciation of nature today.

My children, Jacob and Jess, benefited from the programing at the Sanctuary when they were just toddlers and they believe, as do I, that those early days in nature formed, in part, their love of natural surroundings today.

But the exhibits require frequent maintenance to keep them functioning. When old equipment fails, learning is not nearly as fun and it is not what the community has come to expect of the Society. When the wiggle wire of the spider legs exhibit does not wiggle its invitation to a spider’s dinner, it is just a boring thread. Night vision goggles that don’t display an owl’s nocturnal feast are a disappointment.

That’s why, as we head into the Sanctuary’s 45th anniversary this year, Swan Lake is seeking donations to help support one of the Society’s current projects or program areas or the area of greatest need.

Since its inception in 1975, Swan Lake Christmas Hill Nature Sanctuary Society has been fostering the community’s understanding and appreciation of nature through direct experience. My children are but two of the tens of thousands of children that have taken part in educational programs offered at this wild oasis in the heart of an urban landscape.

The Sanctuary is a living classroom, fostering an understanding and appreciation of nature through direct experiences. It builds deeper connections with the environment. And just as my children have, you, your children and the community’s children have the opportunity to build a connection with the environment and learn something profound—responsibility for the care and protection of the natural environment.

To donate, visit swanlake.bc.ca.

Kathleen E. Burton is the Executive Director at Swan Lake Christmas Hill Nature Sanctuary.

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January 2020 21

N ATU R E N OTES

Climate Change Education in Public Schools

W

hen I went to elementary school 20 odd years ago in Vancouver, we had guest speakers come into the classroom and teach us about climate change, called global warming at the time. I was lucky to have environmentally-conscious teachers who invited these guests in. They were often young, progressive university students who upon learning and studying about our changing climate, chose to act by educating young kids. At that time,

friendly solutions including building renewable energy systems, supporting local food production, uplifting indigenous law and governance, and demanding mass public transit. Collectively, we still need to prepare ourselves and strengthen our resilience in light of climate change.

Most importantly, we need informed youth who are armed with the facts and the urgency to act.

So, where do our children receive climate change education?

enough to ensure our children are learning about climate change.

The school system has a critical role in helping students understand what climate change is and understanding how serious it is. The only courses that touch on these topics are optional, are not offered by many schools, and are only for Grades 11 and 12. Environmental Science 11/12 is not considered an acceptable science prerequisite for most universities, perhaps causing students interested in the envi-

they were telling us we were the future, that we kids had the power to change the course our society and planet we are on, that if we grew up and acted on the facts that they were sharing with us, a crisis could be averted.

But that time for youth has come and gone.

Climate change is happening. Business and consumption as usual in a globalized world will saddle us with 3˚ to 5°C of warming within the lifetime of children being born today, radically altering the world as we know it. Many British Columbians are already embracing climate-

I’ve worked with many elementary and middle school teachers who incorporate environmental and climate themes into their classrooms. I commend these teachers for taking the initiative to do so on their own, as the new B.C. curriculum does not tackle the important facts of the climate crisis at the forefront for any mandatory course (only Science 7 shows students evidence of climate change over geological time as one of the course’s four ‘Big Ideas’). The new curriculum is designed to be more open to what students are interested in learning and teachers’ areas of specialization, but this is not

ronment to opt out of taking the course, lowering the demand for the course and likelihood that it will be offered at their school.

I believe that the public’s understanding of humanity’s contribution to climate change is poor. A CBC poll from 2018 suggests that one-third of Canadians don’t believe industry and human activity are the driving forces behind climate change. We need to have more emphasis on the study of weather, climate and climate change in the context of place beginning in elementary and continuing through to the end of the secondary pro-

22 Island Parent Magazine

IslandParent.ca

gram. These topics are crucial for the development of an eco-literate citizen who is fully informed and capable of making wise decisions on climate-related issues, which are increasing constantly.

How can you raise an informed child?

Talk to your kids about the climate crisis. No age is too young to talk about refusing single use plastic, reducing, repairing, reusing and recycling. Or B.C.’s biodiversity and old-growth forests. A care for nature and the beings that live there can foster an informed and empowered child.

Here are a few ideas to help raise eco-conscious citizens:

• Get outside; connect to nature.

• Go to the museum; learn about the past to change the present and future.

• Turn composting into a fun project for your kids and neighbours.

• Turn emotion into action; let’s do something about it!

• Model sustainable choices; make these habits routine.

• Start swapping; start a circular economy with neighbours.

• Make walking a habit, to and from school, work, or to the park.

• Pack litter-free lunches; say no to bags, and yes to reusable.

• Clean up your community or help your child’s teacher plan a clean-up.

Check with your library for inspiring stories. Anything from The Tiny Seed

by Eric Carle to World Without Fish by Mark Kurlansky

Talk to your child’s teachers:

Does your child’s teacher have the resources they need to bring these topics into the classroom? Encourage your child’s teacher to show a climate change focused movie, or assign a book or novel of a success in the face of climate change.

Help your child’s class do citizen science, start a garden, talk about past experiences by learning from elders, or do a service or research project.

Together, parents and teachers can help raise informed, eco-literate citizens who are prepared to face the climate crisis.

Amira Maddison is an Environmental Educator with Sierra Club BC where she brings place-based experiential learning programs to elementary and highschools across BC. IslandParent.ca

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January 2020 23

JANUARYFAMILYCALENDAR For more information and calendar updates throughout the month visit IslandParent.ca

3 FRIDAY V

Fantastic Friday 4:30pm at St. Luke’s Hall Cedar Hill Cross Road at Cedar Hill Road Featuring Messy Church. A family-friendly time of fun, games, food, crafts, music, and stories.

Dinner provided. Come when you can, come as you are. stlukesvictoria.ca

4 SATURDAY N

Disco Light Skate

1 WEDNESDAY Admission by Donation

7:30pm at Oceanside Place Arena Catch dance fever under the disco lights. The flashing lights and pumping music will take you back in time. Everyone welcome. Regular admission. rdn.bc.ca/receation

2 THURSDAY TO 11 SATURDAY P Letter-Writing Week

All Day at Panorama Recreation Start the New Year off by bringing a non-perishable food item in exchange for drop-in admission to Panorama or Greenglade. All items will be donated to the Saanich Peninsula Lions Food Bank.

Cash donations also accepted. All day. panoramarecreation.ca

V

11am-2pm daily at Royal BC Museum 675 Belleville St The New Year is a great time to make a resolution to slow down. What better way to do so than to put away your smartphone, sit down at our letterwriting station and write a letter? The museum provides the paper, the pens, the envelopes and even the stamps. Included with admission or Polar Bear Splash N membership.

Noon at Parksville Beach royalbcmuseum.bc.ca/visit/events/calendar/ Come down and join in the fun, either as a event/109024/letter-writing-week spectator, volunteer or participant who takes the splash into the water. Sign in onsite at 11:30am V Victoria & Area D Duncan & Area and enter to win a prize. Free.

P Peninsula N Nanaimo & Area rdn.bc.ca/recreation W Westshore C Courtenay/Comox

4 SATURDAY & 5 SUNDAY Christmas Tree Chipping

N

10am-4pm at Brooks Landing Parking Lot 2000 Island Hwy, Nanaimo “Chip in” and help the animals this New Year by recycling your Christmas tree at this Nanaimo BC SPCA fundraiser benefiting animals in the care of the BC SPCA Nanaimo Branch. By donation.

7 TUESDAY N

Glow in the Dark Skate 6:30pm at Frank Crane Arena Skate in an atmosphere of dimmed lighting and special effects. Regular admission. recreation.nanaimo.ca

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IslandParent.ca

Dad’s Night Out Skate

N fee, but you must pre-register by January 11 as

6:45pm at Oceanside Place Arena A night on the pond for dads and their kids to enjoy, courtesy of Building Learning Together. Free. rdn.bc.ca/recreation

space is limited. Free. crd.bc.ca/parks

17 FRIDAY

lights. Great for families after dinner. Regular admission. recreation.nanaimo.ca

Babysitters Certifications Program

N

9am at Qualicum Commons DigiLab: Volunteer Training Session V Become a Red Cross certified babysitter. IntroducSATURDAY 4pm at Central Branch Library es basic first aid, how to respond to emergency Seedy Saturday V Community Room situations, explains baby and child care, offers 10am at Horticultural Centre of the Pacific Develop leadership skills, earn volunteer hours advice on becoming a responsible babysitter, and Quality vendors, certified organic seeds, plants, and use creativity and tech skills to inspire your tips for finding babysitting jobs. Includes manual children’s table and garden, community seed peers. Learn how to develop and lead a DigiLab and certificate. 11-14 years. swap. $8/adults includes free entry to the garprogram using the library’s tech tools and craft rdn.bc.ca/recreation dens. Children under 12 free. kits. To lead a DigiLab program, you must attend hcp.ca a training session and complete a Teen Volunteer SUNDAY Referral Form. Ages 13-18. Registered. Free. gvpl.ca How Plants & Animals Survive N SUNDAY 10am at Linley Valley Parking Lot Family Drumming Discovery V Have you ever wondered what happens to the SATURDAY 11am at Gordon Head Recreation Centre plants and animals over the winter months when 4100 Lambrick Way Esquimalt Clothing & Toy Exchange V it’s cold outside? Meet at the top of the stairs Explore rhythm and drumming together! This 10am at Esquimalt United Church Wheeley Hall across from the parking lot off Rock City Rd. 3-6 interactive session combines listening, hands-on Bring clothes to swap for something new-to-them years. Parent participation required. $8/person. bucket drumming and a relay course incorporator just bring clothes to donate. Free. recreation.nanaimo.ca ing varied instruments. Try a range of percussion facebook.com/EsquimaltExchange instruments and beats. $10.

Super Hero Fun N 250-475-7100 | saanich.ca Starlight Skate N 1:30pm at Beban Pool 7pm at Nanaimo Ice Centre Bring your super hero powers to the pool and What’s That Evergreen V Enjoy the soft light “stars” and passive LED glow help save “Planet Beban” from the enemy. Regu1pm at Devonian Regional Park lar admission.

Come take a closer look at the survival straterecreation.nanaimo.ca gies of our local evergreen plants. With a CRD Regional Parks naturalist, you’ll learn common species and discover what keeps these plants green year-round. Meet at the information kiosk in the parking lot off William Head Rd. 5+ years.

BC Transit #54 or #55. Free. crd.bc.ca/parks

11

19

12

18

14 TUESDAY Into Folk Dance

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5:15pm at St. Michael’s Ukrainian Hall 4017 Victoria Ave (off Norwell) Boys will learn traditional Ukrainian leaps and kicks, and the girls will learn traditional, graceful, modest, fancy footwork. A partner is not necessary and all dances will be taught in circles and lines. Free. vesnadancers@gmail.com

15 WEDNESDAY Under the Bird Tree

V

10am at Francis/King Regional Park Birds are fun for little ones—especially when they are by a winter bird feeder. Join a CRD Regional Parks naturalist and look for our fine-feathered friends, make a bird seed craft and enjoy a short exploration in the woods. 5 years and under. No IslandParent.ca

January 2020 25

ONGOING:

Preschool

Baby Time

V

At Greater Victoria Public Library Locations Learn songs, rhymes and fingerplays to use with your baby every day. Drop-in. For babies 0-15 months and parent or caregiver. gvpl.ca

Family Storytime

V

At Greater Victoria Public Library Locations Fun-filled stories, songs, rhymes and puppets.

For young children and their families; children under 3 must be accompanied by an adult.

Drop-in. gvpl.ca

V

Kindergym Drop-In

Tuesdays 9:30am at Gordon Head Recreation Centre 4100 Lambrick Way A movement program designed for children and their caregiver to play together. Balls, hoops, ride-on toys, climbers and mats allow children to creatively explore. Staff will lead songs and circle time. Get active together for life. $3.25/child. saanich.ca

Habitat for Humanity Victoria Gingerbread Showcase

V

9am at The Parkside Hotel & Spa The Parkside Hotel & Spa, 810 Humboldt St The ultimate holiday treat. View the sensational edible creations and donate to vote for your favourite. November 16–January 5, 2020. Free. habitatvictoria.com

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Mondays 10am at the Gardens at HCP Bring our Bring your your kids kids and and explore explore our 505 Quayle Rd th preschool space!

Bring your kids and explore our preschool space!

Seasonal and entertaining stories and garden Meet and learn about about preschool Meetour our amazing amazing ECE ECEspace! and learn wanders for preschoolers. Each week a new co-op experience. the co-op ECE experience. theme and story is planned around a garden Meet ourthe amazing and learn about adventure to explore and discover the many the co-op experience.

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Tiny Tykes Drop in Playgroup

V

9:30am at Oaklands Community Centre Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday. Meet your neighbours and enjoy the informal family play space. Activity tables, circle time with instruments, and large toy collection. Coffee, tea and snack provided. No playgroup on holidays. For 0-5 years. $3/suggested donation. oaklandscommunitycentre.com

CLASSROOM

IslandParent.ca

Parent & Child Drop-in Art

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Tuesdays 9:30am at Oaklands Community Centre Introduction to art techniques, tools and materials. Enjoy a sensory exploration into the world of art. Supplies included. Dress in clothes you can get messy in. For 2-5 year olds. $10/family. oaklandscommunitycentre.com

Parent & Baby Group

V

Tuesdays 9:30am at Oaklands Chapel For parents and babies up to 9 months old. Topics include nutrition, health, baby growth and development, family health and wellness and the joys and challenges of parenthood. Childcare provided for older children. Registered. Free. oaklandscommunitycentre.com

Kindergym Drop-In

V

10am at Gordon Head Recreation Centre 4100 Lambrick Way Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday. A movement program designed for children and their caregiver to play together. Balls, hoops, ride-on toys, climbers and mats allow children to creatively explore. Songs and circle time. Get active together for life. $3/child. saanich.ca

Love 2 Learn

Matinees for KIDS! Saturdays & Sundays All Seats

$4.75

V

N

Mondays 9:30am–noon at Aggie Hall, Ladysmith Play-based learning stations to explore and enjoy, including a reading centre, craft area, Brio train table, snack table and more. Meet other parents, health and social service providers.

250-210-0870

IslandParent.ca

JAN 18 & 19 – 12:30 PM

THE LION KING

JAN 25 & 26 – 1:00 PM

MISSING LINK

Chris Butler, USA, 2019, 95 minutes, PG (for action/peril and some mild rude humour).

Ages 8+ recommended.

.com Student Union Building, UVIC | 250-721-8365

P

10am Wednesdays at Peninsula Health Unit 2170 Mt Newton Cross Rd Offers a friendly, weekly drop-in setting for new parents to connect. Families gain information about parenting, child development and community resources through support and discussion with the facilitator and guest speakers. facebook.com/peninsulaearlyyears

LaFF Mornings

WONDER PARK

Dylan Brown, USA, 2019, 86 minutes, G.

John Favreau, USA, 2019, 119 minutes, G (sequences of violence and peril).

Ages 8+ recommended.

1pm at Esquimalt Neighbourhood House 511 Constance Ave Come and enjoy crafts with your preschooler.

Crafts are planned to take 15-25 minutes to complete. Families are welcome to drop-in anytime during the program to craft, read books, and meet your friends. Dress for mess. enh.bc.ca

Baby Talk

JAN 11 & 12 – 1:00 PM

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Newborn to 12 years.

Made in Canada. weewoollies.com @weewoollies

January 2020 27

20 MONDAY

ONGOING: P

Facility Tour & Info Session

Children

10:30am at Panorama Recreation New to the area and want to learn more about the programs and services available? Attendees each receive two free passes. Free. panoramarecreation.ca

21 TUESDAY V

Hip Hop & Jazz Sampler

2:45pm at Gordon Head Recreation Centre 4100 Lambrick Way This program was made available for free due to funding from the BCRPA After School Programs Grant. An introduction to Jazz and Hip Hop dance.

Work on basic moves to the music you love. Free. saanich.ca

N

Into Folk Dance 5:15pm at St. Michael’s Ukrainian Hall 4017 Victoria Ave (off Norwell) See TUES 14 for details. Free. vesnadancers@gmail.com

Add your upcoming family events at

islandparent.ca

Museum Tots

V

Saturdays 11am at Maritime Museum 634 Humboldt St, Victoria A weekly program introducing children 2-5 to the fun world of museum learning. New theme each week, allowing children to learn through crafts, play, games, song and dance.

Parksville Lion’s & Save-On-Foods N Family Skate 12:15pm Sundays at Oceanside Place Arena Pond hockey not available. Children must be accompanied by an adult. Free admission and skate rentals. rdn.bc.ca/recreation

Great Kids WANTED!

We invite you to visit our two campuses during our OPEN HOUSE on January 31 from 9 to 11:30 a.m. and 1 to 2 p.m. Visit with staff, students and parents and ask them all your questions, and learn about our Financial Support options. Register today: http://www.mygns.ca/open-house

The Legendary

Meet in Denford Hall at the Middle and Senior School Campus at 801 Bank Street with parking off Richmond or Maddison, or in the library at the Junior School Campus at 1701 Beach Drive.

IB CONTINUUM CONTINUUM DE L’IB CONTINUO DEL IB

Annual Pass is on sale now

250-480-4887 • imaxvictoria.com IMAX® is a registered trademark of IMAX Corporation

28 Island Parent Magazine

FILM FESTIVAL

Starts Jan 24 IslandParent.ca

23 THURSDAY Facility Tour & Info Session

P

10:30am at Greenglade Community Centre See MON 20 for details. Free. panoramarecreation.ca

New Year New Movie!

24 FRIDAY DigiLab: Tech Time

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4pm at Central Branch Library Create and innovate with DigiLab’s tech toolkits including Alienware laptops and Spheros. This program is by teens, for teens. For ages 13-18.

Drop in event. Free. gvpl.ca

Coast Capital Free Swim

Toys, games and puzzles for all ages N

7pm at Beban Pool Admission to pool only; weight room not included.

Free. recreation.nanaimo.ca

koolandchild.com

#102 – 2517 Bowen Rd, Nanaimo 888.390.1775

25 SATURDAY Facility Tour & Info Session

P

10:30am at Greenglade Community Centre New to the area and interested to learn more about the variety of programs and services available? Attendees will each receive two free passes. Free. panoramarecreation.ca

Peninsula Panthers’ Skate

P

Noon at Panorama Recreation Come skate with your favourite Panther. Games, autographs, and a chance to meet the players of your home Jr. B team. panoramarecreation.ca

26 SUNDAY Chinese New Year Celebration

V

Noon–3pm in Chinatown Celebrate the Year of the Rat with us! Lion dance parade and Kung Fu demonstrations in Chinatown. Rain or shine. Free.

Winter Wildlife

V

Noon at Swan Lake Christmas Hill Nature Sanctuary 3873 Swan Lake Road Whether they migrate, hibernate or tolerate the cold season, winter wildlife have amazing ways to deal with this challenging season. Come learn through crafts, games and activities how different animal species adapt to survive the winter months. Admission by donation; $5/person suggested. swanlake.bc.ca IslandParent.ca

Contact us for your personal tour & educational consultation Registration ongoing for our two Jr. K locations + Kindergarten – grade 8 campus

Christ Church Cathedral School

An Independent Anglican School for Jr. K – grade 8 www.cathedralschool.ca | 250-383-5125 | Victoria, BC January 2020 29

ONGOING:

Family V

DivorceCare Tuesdays 6:30pm at Central Baptist Church 833 Pandora Ave. DivorceCare is a friendly, caring group of people who will walk alongside you through one of life’s most difficult experiences. Free.

Cost for workbook. centralbaptistchurch.ca

V

Vic West Toy Library

9:30am at HighPoint Community Church 949 Fullerton Ave Every other Saturday. Borrow toys, games and play materials on a regular basis. Current stock for ages 6 mos-12 years.

250-383-6290 | dawn@pointful.ca

Grandparents Raising Grandchildren Support Circles A safe, supportive place to meet others in a similar situation and to share information and resources.

250-384-8042 | parentsupportbc.ca

Parent Support Circles Parenting isn’t always easy. Sometimes it helps to talk things through with other parents. At the Parent Support Services Society of BC, they believe that every parent is the expert of her/ his own family.

250-384-8042 | parentsupportbc.ca

N

Family Frolics

Tuesdays 5:45pm at Frank Jameson Community Centre 810 6th Ave, Ladysmith Drop in after work to burn off some energy and get ready for bed. Play with balls and tunnels, run around and meet a new friend. 0-6 years.

250-210-0870

Free Youth Skate Lessons

N

4pm, January 13 to March 9 at Oceanside Place Arena Do you cling to the rink boards when you go skating? These free lessons will give you the confidence you need to glide comfortable around the ice. Skate rentals included. Helmet and gloves required. 12-18 years. rdn.bc.ca/recreation

30 Island Parent Magazine

IslandParent.ca

Wonderful Woodpeckers

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1pm at Mill Hill Regional Park Discover all of the tricks of the woodpecker trade.

What makes them so good at what they do? Join a CRD Regional Parks naturalist and learn how to identify different woodpeckers by sight, sound and habits on this fun guided walk. Meet at the information kiosk in the parking lot off Atkins Ave. All ages. BC Transit #53. Free. crd.bc.ca/parks

FAMILY SUNDAY

31 FRIDAY Spring Festival Spectacular

V

7pm at Oak Bay High Theatre A collection of local elite talents, including Ballet Etoile Canada, Ocean Rain Arts Academy, and magicians, as well as local artists from Philippine, Japanese and Korean communities. $25/adults; $15/children.

Family Paint

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Oceanside Art Studio Family members will take part in painting their own canvas with the guidance of our experienced art instructor. No experience necessary. All supplies are included. $35/person. rdn.bc.ca/recreation

Join us for another exciting season of hands-on fun for all ages!

Family Sunday happens every third Sunday of the month from now until June and features special guests like storytellers, artists, performers or musicians.

NEXT FAMILY SUNDAY: January 19 | 2-4PM

1040 Moss st aggv.ca

SKAM SCHOOL OF PERFORMING ARTS CLASSES & CAMPS FOR KIDS & TEENS AFTER SCHOOL & HOME LEARNERS Acting for Theatre and Film Improvisation StageCraft AND MORE!

STARTING AS LOW AS $129 FOR 8 WEEKS! NOW REGISTERING FOR WINTER TERM (JAN-MAR 2020) AT skam.ca!

IslandParent.ca

January 2020  31

W H AT’ SF O R D I N N E R

Classic Coleslaw

Eat Your Vegetables!

nnaise based coleslaw.

There are many recipes for a classic mayo It is perfect for serving nd.

This is a recipe that I discovered in Irela my favourite Irish pub of one in res with classic pub fare, and featu s, cheddar cheese bean d bake with ed topp to meals: a baked pota and a spoonful of coleslaw.

T

his time of year it’s hard to be motivated to eat vegetables. Tomatoes are more rubbery than juicy. Cucumbers go moldy almost as soon as you get them home from the store. And peppers are so expensive. However, there are some seasonal vegetables that are ripe, fresh and sweet this time of year.

If you’re finding it hard to be inspired to make a leafy green salad, then turn to coleslaw instead. Coleslaws are a delicious way to eat more winter vegetables. Here are a few reasons why you should add them to your January diet.

• Cabbage, the base of most coleslaw, is seasonal and affordable this time of year.

• Cabbage is also nutritious; full of vitamins, fibre and antioxidants. It is particularly high in vitamin C. • Coleslaw lasts about 3-5 days in the fridge and the flavour improves with age. So make a large batch and serve it throughout the week.

• There are so many different ways to flavour coleslaw that it can be added to any meal. Serve it with baked potatoes, fish sticks, roast chicken. Add it to a rice and bean bowl or a sandwich.

Here are three very different flavours of coleslaw that will hopefully inspire you to give this humble salad a place on your plate.

(Prep Time: 10 minutes)

Salad 1⁄2 head of green ball head cabbage 1⁄2 green pepper 2 Tbsp onion Dressing 3⁄4 tsp salt 1⁄4 tsp pepper 1⁄2 tsp celery seed 1 Tbsp sugar 3⁄4 cup mayonnaise 2 Tbsp fresh parsley 1 Tbsp lemon juice 1 tsp chives done by slicing it with a 1. Shred the green cabbage. This can be a food processor or a use up, s thing d knife or grating it. To spee mandolin.

2. Mince the green pepper and onion. l.

3. Combine the vegetables in a large bow ts and toss to combine. dien ingre sing 4. Add in all of the salad dres s before serving.

5. Allow to refrigerate for at least 2 hour

Rainbow Honey Mustard Slaw

(Prep Time: 10 minutes)

This is a simple coleslaw that is bright and beautiful. It is antiinflammatory and packed full of antioxidan ts, perfect for fighting off a cold or flu. Since it is mayonnaise-free it is perfect for potlucks and parties.

Salad 1 medium head of purple cabbage 2 carrots 1 red pepper 4 spring onions Dressing cup olive oil 1⁄4 cup cider vinegar 1 Tbsp Dijon mustard 2 Tbsp honey 1 tsp salt, to taste 1 tsp turmeric powder (optional) 1⁄2

1. Mix up all the dressing ingredients in a large bowl. Stir to make sure that the honey is fully mixed into the oil and vinegar.

2. Grate the cabbage and carrots.

3. Finely dice the red pepper and sprin g onions.

4. Add the vegetables into the dressing and toss to fully mix.

5. Serve immediately for a crisp salad.

For a softer, marinated salad, let it sit for 1–2 hours prior to serving.

Asian Inspired Slaw

(Prep Time: 15 minutes)

This is a fun and flavourful coleslaw that demonstrates how a simple salad can be transformed into something unique.

Salad 1 medium head of savoy cabbage (or replace with red cabbage) 1 mango 1 cup of cilantro 1⁄4 cup of fresh mint 11⁄4 cup of roasted peanuts (optional) Dressing 6 Tbsp lime juice 1 Tbsp sugar 4 Tbsp sunflower seed oil 2 Tbsp toasted sesame seed oil 1 tsp soy sauce 1⁄2 tsp salt, to taste 1⁄4 tsp chili flakes (optional) 1. Mix the salad dressing ingredients in a large bowl. Stir to ensure that that sugar has fully dissolved.

2. Finely shred the cabbage and mix it in the salad dressing.

3. Peel the mango. Slice it off the pit, then cut it into thin strips.

4. Roughly chop the cilantro and mint leaves.

5. Mix the mango and herbs with the cabbage.

6. Roughly chop the peanuts, and toss with the salad right before serving.

Emillie Parrish loves having adventures with her two busy children.

She lives in Victoria and is the author of the fermentation-based blog fermentingforfoodies.com.

IslandParent.ca

Ongoing registration at

jdfskatingclub.com

KINDERSKATE Ages 3 – 6

Tuesdays

9:15am – 9:45am 9:50am – 10:20am January 2020 33

K I DS ’ R E A DS

Dishing on Dinosaur Dramas

T

here is a meme circulating the internet titled “Times You Know the Most about Dinosaurs.” It’s a line graph with large spikes at age four, and when you have a four-year-old, with a smaller spike in the middle for people who are officially paleontologists.

In case you find yourself with more knowledge about dinosaurs than you imagined possible—or worse, you find yourself unable to keep up with your child’s demands for knowledge—here are a few books about dinosaurs for you to enjoy. Don’t worry, your child doesn’t need to be four to find these books fun or funny.

Sal in How to Be a T. Rex by Ryan North and illustrated by Mike Lowery (Dial Books, 2018), is one of those children with ample dinosaur knowledge, specifically T. Rexes. Sal thinks they are amazing. So amazing, that Sal decides to become a T. Rex. Unfortunately, being a T. Rex isn’t as awesome as Sal thought it would be, because people still think things like following rules, sharing, and being kind are important. So Sal goes back to the drawing board.

This book is designed more like a graphic novel or a comic book than your average picture book. The bold colours and loud art style will easily grab your child’s attention. For ages 4 to 8.

In The Mine-o-Saur by Sudipta Bardhan-Quallen and illustrated by David Clark (Putnam, 2007), the Mine-o-saur is struggling to share. He claims every-

thing he sees but it still doesn’t make him happy. It actually makes him even sadder. And while he’s moping on top of the most amazing block tower ever he sees the other dinosaurs playing with each other. They are having fun even though they have no toys: no blocks, no skipping ropes, no balls. For ages 4 to 8.

In What Kind of Car Does a T. Rex Drive? by Mark Lee and illustrated by Brian Biggs (Putnam, 2019), Ava and Mickey’s Uncle Otto sells cars. Uncle Otto is having a huge summer sale, or at least he is trying to. But no one is interested in buying a car. Feeling frustrated, Uncle Otto exclaims that he will sell a car to who—or whatever—shows up on his lot. That is when the dinosaurs start arriving. The first few customers are easy enough for Ava and Mickey to serve, but then the tyrannosaurus arrives. He is not easily impressed. For ages 4 to 8.

Poor Mr. Snore is very tired when he arrives at the Sharemore Hotel in There’s a Dinosaur on the 13th Floor

by Wade Bradford and illustrated by Kevin Hawkes (Candlewick Press, 2018).

But he’s finding it very difficult to sleep.

There is a mouse in his first room, a pig in his second, and water drips on his nose in the third. Every time something bothers him he calls down to the ever-helpful bellhop who graciously brings him to another room. But finally, he has had enough, and Mr. Snore decides to find his own room. For ages 4 to 8.

If you have a child who likes gross things and dinosaurs, they may enjoy The Dinosaur that Pooped a Planet by Tom Fletcher and Dougie Poynter and illustrated by Garry Parsons (Aladdin, 2013). Danny and his dinosaur love to have fun in this rhyming tale. The two friends decide to go to the science mu-

Coming in January!

FAMILY RESOURCE GUIDE 2020 seum because they are bored. While they are there, they sneak aboard a rocket ship that’s ready to go. They ignore all the warnings, press all the buttons and end up in space. But then, the dinosaur gets hungry and eats everything, at which point things get messy as the dinosaur creatively brings them back home. For ages 4 to 8.

In How to Grow a Dinosaur by Jill Esbaum and Mike Boldt (Penguin, 2018) the narrator explains to a new big brother how to teach the new baby how to be a dinosaur. It is hilarious, adorable, and super relatable. If you have a new baby on the way, this might be a good book for you to read to your older children.

For ages 4 to 8.

Sometimes being a dinosaur can be tough as Dino Duckling realizes in the book by the same name. Dino Duckling is written and illustrated by Alison Murray (Little, Brown and Company, 2017).

In this book, Dino Duckling feels a little different from the rest of his family. But mother duck and his duckling siblings always assure him that no matter what their differences are, they are a family. He believes her until she and his siblings fly south for winter. At least that’s what he thinks happens. In this heartwarming tale, Dino Duckling learns that love overlooks differences in appearance and accepts you for who you are. For ages 4 to 8.

Christina Van Starkenburg lives in Victoria with her husband, their two little boys and their cat Phillip. Her first children’s book One Tiny Turtle: A Story You Can Colour was published recently and quickly rose to its spot as a #1 new release on Amazon.

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KINDERGARTEN REGISTRATION French Immersion Kindergarten, Late Entry French Immersion and Nature Kindergarten:

January 13 – 17, 2020

General Kindergarten Registration:

January 27 – 31, 2020

In the past all Kindergarten registration has taken place at the same time in SD 62 but this created challenges for parents and caregivers whose children did not get a spot in one of the specialized programs due to limited space and high demand.

Moving the registration dates for Nature Kindergarten and French Immersion to the earlier dates will allow those families ample time to participate in General Kindergarten Registration.

For more information and to register visit

SD62.bc.ca

All registration is done online

January 2020 35

FAMILYSERVICESDIRECTORY The Family Services Directory features not for profit agencies and organizations serving children, youth and families 1Up, Victoria Single Parent Resource Centre (1-up.ca) provides support, education and resources for parents in the Greater Victoria area through free counselling, volunteer training, a mentoring program for single moms, and a support group for dads, as well as a variety of integrated life skills and parenting courses which are open to the whole community, with fees on a sliding scale. For single parent members, the Centre provides free toys and books, a clothing room and bread pantry. Donations of gently-used clothing, small household items, and toys are welcome. Hours: Mon., Tue., Thu., Fri.: 9–4, & Wednesdays: 12–7.

Location: 602 Gorge Road East. Phone: 250-385-1114.

Home Support, please call 250-658-6407. For other programs: 250-656-0134. beaconcs.ca.

Beacon Community Services is a community-based, non-profit agency dedicated to helping people and improving lives on southern Vancouver Island and the southern Gulf Islands. Beacon thrift shops fund important LOCAL community services and programs.

Beacon also offers: child, youth and family services (including the Peninsula Early Years Centre and child care); counselling; employment services and training for people of all ages; home support care; volunteer services and opportunities; affordable housing/care/ supports for seniors and people with disabilities. For

Boys & Girls Club Services offer after-school and evening social, educational and recreational programming for children and youth at 5 locations (Colwood, Langford, VicWest, Central Saanich and Esquimalt) and summer camps both in Esquimalt and at our Outdoor Centre in Metchosin. We also offer support to parents through our Parents Together program and parent workshops. For more information on all programs and services visit bgcvic.org or call 250-384-9133.

Beacon Community Services Employment Programs. Beacon Community Services offers a full menu of employment services on the Saanich Peninsula and Gulf Islands. We’ve been helping people find work since 1982! Our programs build on a person’s strengths and resolve barriers to finding and keeping employment. We also work with our employer network to support job seekers. Need help finding a job? Need employees? Contact us for FREE assistance!

9860 Third St. Sidney. 250-656-0134. beaconcs.ca.

FAMILYSERVICESPROFILE

Sooke Family Resource Society Our Mission We provide people, of all ages and abilities on southern Vancouver Island, with services and resources that encourage them to enhance skills, address challenges and create a path forward.

Who We Are We began as young moms sharing parenting challenges around a kitchen table, and incorporated Sooke Family Resource Society in 1984 to provide child, youth and family services in the Sooke community. Since those early days, we have expanded to offer a wide range of supports for those in need from Port Renfrew to the Greater Victoria area. SFRS is known and respected for our commitment to quality services to the people we serve as well as to the community as a whole.

Values We are respectful, honest, and fair.

We treat all people with equality, while recognizing diversity.

We adapt with innovation, creativity and strategic planning.

We nurture an environment that is open, trusting and caring.

We behave ethically, legally and safely.

We work collaboratively and inclusively to make effective change.

We are an accountable and action-oriented community partner.

We acknowledge the traditional territories of the Coast Salish Nations and Nuu-chah-nulth Nations of southern Vancouver Island.

36 Island Parent Magazine

Canucks Autism Network (CAN) provides year-round sports and recreation programs for children, youth, young adults, and families living with autism, while increasing awareness and providing training in communities across BC. Stay up-to-date on programs, registration dates and events in Nanaimo, Cowichan Valley, and Victoria by signing up for CAN’s Vancouver Island newsletter: canucksautism.ca/ newsletter. CAN also provides training and accessibility resources for many sectors, including sport, recreation, first responders, schools, and community spaces. Learn about customized training solutions: canucksautism.ca/training.

Dialogue and Resolution Services (DRS) helps people improve relationships through facilitating empathic communication in a safe, impartial and collaborative manner. We work with individuals, families, parents, co-workers, neighbours, community organizations, governments and those leaving incarceration. We continue to strive for equity and increased cultural competency, through life-long learning. DRS assists diverse clients to create lasting, effective solutions that support healthy connection and build community. For affordable, ethical, professional service, find us at 250-383-4412 or dialogueandresolutionservices.ca.

Family Services of Greater Victoria helps children, youth, and adults manage the challenges of separation, FAMILY SERVICES OF GREATER VICTORIA divorce, or transition to a new family structure. Our highly qualified staff, working with other community agencies, provide information and practical or emotional support so people facing these challenges can make the decisions that are best for everyone. FSGV believes all individuals can find ways to move forward in their lives when family relationships have changed or are changing. Call us at 250-386-4331 or visit fsgv.org. We can help.

Inter-Cultural Association of Greater Victoria (ICA) is a registered charity and nonprofit helping individuals and organizations to connect across cultures. Programs offered include immigrant and refugee services, parenting programs, employment services, interpretation and translation, diversity workshops and training, English language training, volunteer placements, youth programs and tutoring,

IslandParent.ca

seniors groups, and inter-cultural arts programming.

Located at 930 Balmoral Road, 250-388-4728, icavictoria.org.

KidCareCanada supports new parents and professionals with trustworthy information, videos and resources that explain the importance of early nurturing and show how to support social and emotional development in infants and toddlers. Babies don’t come with a manual. That’s why KidCareCanada has produced a collection of carefully-crafted resources that takes the science of Early Childhood Development and brings it to new parents in a visual format that is easy-to-understand and quick to watch. Access all resource for free at kidcarecanada.org.

The Freya-Sophia Waldorf

Natural Childhood Store Toys, Books, Clothing ~ Art and Handwork Supplies

250-597-4763 ~ 3, 5380 Hwy. 1 ~ in the Sol Centre, Duncan Open Mon. - Sat. 10 - 4 Closed Sun. and Stats Huge Selection of: *Disana Wool Clothing *Advent Calendars *Inspiring resources for Parents and Educators!

November

Disana Sale!* 2nd item 10% off 3rd item 20% off

* on existing stock

LDABC The Learning Curve (previously The Learning Disabilities Assn.) supports, educates and advocates for children with learning and behavior challenges.

Individual and group support, education and consultation is available for children, youth, parents, caregivers and professionals. Please visit our website ldasvi. bc.ca or call us for more information 250-370-9513.

Lindsay Trowell R.T.C. Counsellor and Parenting Specialist—creating calm within chaos. 18+ years experience as a behaviour support professional for caregivers and parents of children and adults with special needs. I understand the struggle that families face just to get out the door in the morning. I am trained in working with individuals with FASD, attachment difficulties, anxiety, trauma, autism, and much more. Individual and family counselling. Relaxed, nonjudgmental support tailored for your individual needs.

I help strengthen families and empower individuals. lindsaytrowell.com. #102-3212 Jacklin Rd (located in Stillpoint Acupuncture Clinic). 250-217-4536.

Sooke Family Resource Society (SFRS) provides Family Resource Programs including: Prenatal Education and Outreach, Parent-Tot Drop-In Groups, Parent Discussion Groups, Family Support Groups and Outreach, a Toy and Book Lending Library and Kingfisher Preschool. Sooke-Westshore Child Care Resource and Referral services, as well as all-ages counselling services are also provided by SFRS. Services are provided from the Child, Youth and Family Centres in Sooke and Westshore. Call 250-642-5152 for more information or visit our website at sfrs.ca.

Victoria Immigrant and Refugee Centre Society (VIRCS) supports immigrants and refugees living in Greater Victoria. Services are free and include oneon-one counselling, parent education workshops, youth life skills classes, a preschool program, art therapy, language classes and academic support, employment help, computer classes and fun community events like free yoga, tai chi, dance and cooking classes. Visit us online at vircs.bc.ca or phone 250-361-9433.

IslandParent.ca

January 2020 37

H A PPYFA M I LI ES H E A LTH YFA M I LI ES

Healthy Families, Happy Families

Child, Youth & Family Public Health South Island Health Units Esquimalt Gulf Islands

250-519-5311 250-539-3099

(toll-free number for office in Saanichton)

Peninsula 250-544-2400 Saanich 250-519-5100 Saltspring Island 250-538-4880 Sooke 250-519-3487 Victoria 250-388-2200 West Shore 250-519-3490

Central Island Health Units Duncan Ladysmith Lake Cowichan Nanaimo Nanaimo Princess Royal Parksville/ Qualicum

250-709-3050 250-755-3342 250-749-6878 250-755-3342 250-739-5845

Port Alberni Tofino

250-731-1315 250-725-4020

250-947-8242

North Island Health Units Campbell River 250-850-2110 Courtenay 250-331-8520 Kyuquot Health Ctr 250-332-5289 ‘Namgis Health Ctr 250-974-5522 Port Hardy 250-902-6071

islandhealth.ca/our-locations/ health-unit-locations 38 Island Parent Magazine

Ditch the Diet & Choose Health J anuary is the time of year when many people start to think about making diet and lifestyle changes. The indulgences of the holidays have taken their toll and motivation is often high to get to work on fitness and weight goals. We are bombarded with information and advertisements for programs and products promising to help us lose weight, reduce health risks and feel better. The choices are endless: Keto, Paleo, Intermittent Fasting, Alkaline, Atkins, South Beach, Sugar Free, Fat Free, Cleanses, Detox, Cabbage, and Grapefruit. How do we know if they work? How do we know which is the best choice for us?

The truth is, while most of these diets will result in weight loss in the short run, not one of them has been shown to produce consistent, long-lasting benefits in terms of weight loss or improved health.

The problem with diets is that they don’t change our long-term eating patterns so when we stop dieting we usually gain all of the weight back, and often more. Many diets promote rapid weight loss, which results in muscle loss as well as fat. This is counterproductive because muscle burns more calories than fat.

When we severely restrict calories, we put our bodies into survival mode and burn less energy doing the same activities. When we return to our normal eating patterns, we gain weight because of our reduced metabolism. Diets that restrict entire types of foods can be nutritionally inadequate and can lead to deficiencies if maintained too long.

Most importantly, diets create an unhealthy relationship with food, which can lead to deprivation, binging and, ultimately, weight gain. Diets take a toll on our mental health by making us feel guilty, ashamed and lowers our selfworth, the exact opposite of our intent.

When children see their parents dieting to lose weight, it influences their own ideas about body weight, affects their own relationship with food, and can set

them up for lifelong struggles with eating and weight.

Two thirds of Canadians are overweight. That doesn’t mean that there is something wrong with those individuals.

It means we live in a culture that makes it very easy to gain weight and very difficult to lose it. Our lifestyle and environment promote weight gain. There is constant pressure to eat too much, and too much of the wrong things. The diet industry is poised to take advantage of that fact.

You might wonder, “If diets don’t work, what can I do to get healthy?”

While there is little evidence to support the effectiveness of weight loss diets, there is plenty of research to support the health benefits of a well-balanced diet and a lifestyle that includes adequate sleep, stress reduction and exercise.

IslandParent.ca

The research is clear that our bodies need the following for health:

• A variety of foods each day that includes lots of fruits and vegetables, whole grain foods and protein.

• Regular meals and snacks. Eat at least every 4 hours.

• Limited sugar, salt, alcohol and caffeine intake.

• Limited processed foods and foods high in saturated fats.

• Regular physical activity.

First, make small changes that you think you can maintain over the long term. This might mean something as simple as drinking more water, taking a walk on your lunch break or taking a piece of fruit for your snack so you’re less tempted to eat the muffins at the office. Build on this by adding one small goal at a time. Making small changes is easier and more sustainable than trying to change everything at once.

Second, stop weighing yourself. The scale is not a measure of your progress. It takes the focus off health and promotes unhealthy attitudes towards body image and self-worth. You can improve your health by making changes, even if it doesn’t result in weight loss. Reward yourself for changing your behaviour, not for losing weight.

Lastly, be mindful of your eating habits. That means paying attention to what, when, where, why and how much you eat.

Take time to prepare, eat and enjoy good food. Pay attention to your body. Notice when you are hungry and when you’re full. Create a positive eating environment by making your eat-

ing area attractive, and eating with others. And remember, be kind to yourself when you over-indulge. You are not a failure, you’re human.

Diet Red Flags Promises rapid weight loss. Anything more than 1–2 lbs a week is unhealthy and unsustainable.

Recommends a very low calorie intake (less than 800 calories) without medical supervision

Requires you to purchase products from a specific source or promotes the use of weight loss aids such as supplements or herbs.

Excludes entire food groups.

Encourages you to skip meals or fast for long periods.

Does not encourage long-term realistic lifestyle changes including exercise and a healthy diet that considers your lifestyle and health.

Jane Barclay, RD, is the mother of two children and a dog who she takes out for runs most days of the week.

Jane chooses health (and the occasional piece of very dark chocolate).

C H ILD YOUTH & FAMILY PUBLIC HEALTH

CENTRAL SAANICH LITTLE LEAGUE Baseball for Ages 3–16

REGISTER NOW cslittleleague.com Building Kids to Make Stronger Communities IslandParent.ca

January 2020 39

PRESCHOOL&CHILDCAREDIRECTORY CENTRAL SAANICH

Music, Art and Nature. Stop by and experience what it is like to be part of a community devoted to the development of the whole child. Open House: Thursdays 9-11 am. west-mont.ca.

NORTH SAANICH • one of the few parent participation preschools on the Peninsula • learning through play philosophy • a large, beautiful indoor and outdoor space • offering flexible 4 hour programs 1–4 days a week • a great community to join • visit us at www.countrysidepreschool.org

CORDOVA BAY

In The Garden Childcare Centre.........250-654-0306 A GREAT PLACE TO GROW. Offering preschool, full day care, before and after school care for children aged 2.5 to 12 years old. Open all year. Now offering Infant and Toddler Care.

OAK BAY

Cordova Bay Preschool......................250-658-3441 A bright and cheerful parent participation preschool with a philosophy of learning through play. 4 yr olds - M/W/F 9:151:15; 3 yr olds - T/Th 9:15-12:15. cordovabaypreschool.org.

ESQUIMALT Ciara Early Childhood Centre............. 250-386-7369 Education and Fun Hand in Hand! Exceptional care for ages 1-5yrs. Inclusive nature inspired kindergarten readiness program with Christian values. Facebook.com/ CiaraEarlyChildhoodCentre.

METCHOSIN Metchosin Cooperative Preschool............................

Play Explore Learn and Grow in beautiful rural Metchosin.

Morning programs available for 3 and 4 year olds. Contact our ECEs at metchosinpreschool@gmail.com.

West-Mont Montessori School........... 250-474-2626 Exceptional preschool Montessori instruction in a beautiful natural environment. Ages 30 months and up.

Providing a balanced approach to incorporating French,

Island Montessori House................250-592-4411 Inclusive, integrated and nurturing Preschool and Before/After School Care programs. Lovely rural setting with a focus on nature and outdoor environmental activities. islandmontessori.com.

Oak Bay Preschool.............................250-592-1922 Oak Bay Preschool is a co-op preschool, using a play-based curriculum with qualified ECE and ECEA. We use a balance of indoor and outdoor classrooms to enrich your child’s preschool experience. Learn more at oakbaypreschool.com.

Lambrick Park Preschool & Childcare...250-477-8131 Gordon Head’s parent-participation preschool and childcare center. Flexible hours M-F 9am-3pm & drop-ins offered. Play based learning and outdoor play. Allergy friendly. Celebrating 40 years. lambrickparkpreschool.ca.

Recreation Oak Bay........................... 250-370-7200 Fully licensed, ECE Daycare, Preschool and Nature Preschool. Play based, child led learning. Afterschool care available.

Oakcrest Preschool........................... 250-472-0668 A welcoming, nurturing environment with a large, bright facility. Learn through play with 2 caring ECEs. oakcrestpreschool.org.

SAANICH

Island Kids Academy Esquimalt..........250-381-2929 High quality child care (ages 1-5). Enriched Curriculum.

Includes Music Classes and Character Development using the Virtues Project. Wait list being taken. Islandkids.ca.

La Pré-Maternelle Appletree Preschool.............................250-479-0292 A French Immersion Preschool Program.

30 months to school age. Licensed Christian centre. prematernelleappletree.com.

• Licensed 3 hr and 4 hr programs, flexible part-time classes • Qualified ECEs offer play-based programs that stimulate curiosity and imagination and support optimum growth and development. Supported spaces available.

• Indoor and outdoor programming, community visitors and special activities provide opportunities for learning through play and exploration.

Fullobeans.ca 250-360-1148 saanichneighbourhoodplace.com

Pre-School Junior Kindergarten PacificChristian.ca 250-479-4532

• Half day and Full day Preschool Programs • Children’s learning is nurtured and supported through exploration, discovery, play and creative expression 3905 Haro Road, Victoria BC

250-477-3731 arbutusgrove.ca Camosun College Child Care Services.. 250-370-4880 Quality licensed facilities on both campuses providing children, newborn to 5 years, with rich early learning experiences in a learn through play environment. camosun.ca/childcare.

Carrot Seed Preschool........................250-658-2331 Where children can discover, imagine, construct and learn through play. Wondrous natural playground. carrotseedpreschool.com.

Educational Excellence to the Glory of God Ready Set Grow Preschool..................250-472-1530 Inside Hillcrest Elm. in Gordon Head, we help children transition to Kindergarten. Licensed Preschool with highly qualified, warm ECE. heoscmanager@gmail.com.

St. Joseph’s Early Learning Centre........ 250-479-1237 A Christian childcare centre offering daycare and preschool programs for 3-5 year olds. Children learn through play-based and emergent curriculum in a warm and nurturing environment.

St. Margaret’s School Jr. Kindergarten... 250-479-7171 Apply now for our Early Learning (JK and Kindergarten) Programs. Early learning at SMS is a curriculum-based program for 3 and 4 year olds. admissions@stmarg.ca.

Looking for child care? Need help with the Affordable Child Care Benefit?

Taking care of children? Need child care training?

Child Care

Resource & Referral Funded by the Province of BC

Your community’s best source of child care information and resources.

40 Island Parent Magazine

Call your local Child Care Resource & Referral for free referrals and resources.

Victoria & Gulf Islands: 250-382-7000 or 1-800-750-1868 Sooke: 250-642-5152 West Shore: 250-940-4882 Cowichan Valley: 250-746-4135 local 231 PacificCare (Ladysmith north): 250-756-2022 or 1-888-480-2273

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Wiseways Child Care Centre........... 250-477-1312 Established, quality, licensed, Christian centre for 3-5 year olds. Experienced ECEs, cheerful spacious facilities, large playground. Subsidized fees welcome.

Call for a tour. Wisewaysvictoria.com.

The Sir James Douglas Playschool.....250-389-0500 Fun, creative and educational ECE program for 3-5 year olds to grow and develop life long skills. Come play and learn in our bright and modern centre in Fairfield. sjdoutofschoolclub.com.

Victoria Montessori...........................250-380-0534 Unique, innovative learning environment combining the best of Montessori and Learning Through Play. Open yr. round. 30mths–K. victoriamontessori.com.

VICTORIA v Comprehensive programs for Preschool through Grade 9 v Delivering academic excellence through music, dance, drama and visual arts v Outstanding educators, locations and facilities

Island Kids Academy View Royal....... 250-727-2929 High quality child care (ages 1-5). Enriched Curriculum.

Includes Music Classes and Character Development using the Virtues Project. Wait list being taken. Islandkids.ca.

Castleview Child Care........................250-595-5355 Learning Through Play & Discovery. Licensed non-profit, ECE staff. Since 1958. Morning or full-time care. castleviewchildcarecentre.com.

Centennial Day Care.......................... 250-386-6832 Exceptional childcare and education 35+ years. Nature inspired, play based program. NEW central, “green” building. centennialdaycare.ca.

Christ Church Cathedral Childcare......250-383-5132 ECE and specialist teachers provide an outstanding all day licensed program for 2.5–5 year olds at our Fairfield and NEW Gordon Head (Fall 2019) locations. cathedralschool.ca.

Nightingale Preschool and Junior Kindergarten Ltd.................250-595-7544 We offer education through creativity and play, providing rich learning experiences through a well sourced and stimulating indoor and outdoor environment. Early years reading programme. nightingalepreschool.com.

Arts/Drama programme. kidsworks.ca.

The River Preschool

JLC Victoria Japanese Preschool The only Japanese Immersion Preschool on the Island opens at Craigflower Schoolhouse. Offering the best environment for preschoolers to learn Japanese language and culture as natural as possible. jlcvictoria.com.

Please visit our website at

theriverpreschool.stbarnabaschurch.ca or email us at riverpreschoolvic@gmail.com.

You are welcome to visit us at The River Drop-in Playgroup on Wednesdays 10–11:30am at St. Barnabas Church Hall.

St. Joseph’s Preschool........................ 250-246-3191 An enriching preschool program allowing children to grow as individuals in a safe and nurturing Christian environment.

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QUALICUM BEACH Call for more information today: 250.746.3654

International Montessori Academy of Canada............................................ 250-737-1119 Elementary K–12. Offers an enriching environment for preschool children 2-4.9 years with potty training. Nurturing young minds, keeping the spirit free. intmontessori.ca.

Parkside Academy................................ 250-746-1711 Providing high quality early learning and care from infancy to 12 years of age, in a stimulating, respectful, nurturing, nature based environment with fully educated and passionate early childhood educators. Visit parksideacademy.ca or find us on Facebook.

at St. Barnabas Church is accepting registrations for September 2019. We are a Waldorf inspired and faith based new preschool in Victoria.

Sunrise Waldorf School Preschool........ 250-743-7253 In a warm environment, this nature and play-based program enlivens and nurtures the growing child. sunrisewaldorfschool.org.

CHEMAINUS

VIEW ROYAL

www.ArtsCalibre.ca 250.382.3533

Queen of Angels Early Learning Centre.250-701-0433 Our Centre is a lively, happy place for 3-5 year olds where children are encouraged to be confident, independent learners in a nurturing and safe environment.

Queen Margaret’s School.....................250-746-4185 Early Childhood Education Program. Co-ed nurturing curriculum to develop the whole child. Healthy snacks and lunch provided. qms.bc.ca.

Children’s Discovery Centre............... 250-752-4343 A nurturing, safe and creative learning environment.

Licensed preschool, group care and out of school care. Early Childhood Educators. childrensdiscovery centre.ca. childrensdiscoverycentre@hotmail.com.

Little Star Children’s Centre............... 250-752-4554 Little Gems Infant and Toddler Care... 250-228-5437 Mother, Daughter owned and operated. Earth friendly preschool education inspired by nature. Infused with fun and creative daily yoga practices! Licensed group care. Enthusiastic ECE instructors. littlestardaycare.ca

PORT ALBERNI John Paul II Catholic School............... 250-723-0637 “Where children grow and learn through play.” We provide a program that will inspire development physically, socially, emotionally, cognitively, creatively and spiritually.

Nestled on 4 acres of lush west Coast forest, our Award winning, Nature based program will not disappoint!

While firmly embracing the Reggio-Emila (Italy) Philosophy our dedicated team of educators use the environment as the third teacher as we encourage your child throughout their day.

Our purpose built facilities have been handmade using the trees from our forest. We have recently expanded to our new Spirit Bear Lodge located right next door!

Programs for Infants/Toddlers and Pre-Kindergarten children.

Photo: Cheryl Cameron, Atelierista

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Award of Excellence in Child Care

lexieslittlebears.ca 250-590-3603

January 2020 41

D I V ERS A B I LITI E S

Community Board Kaleidoscope Theatre kaleidoscope.bc.ca

Mothering Touch motheringtouch.ca

Royal BC Museum royalbcmuseum.bc.ca

Victoria Children’s Choir VictoriaChildrensChoir.ca

Victoria Conservatory of Music vcm.bc.ca

Enquire about brochure or magazine distribution in Greater Victoria:

sales@islandparent.ca 42 Island Parent Magazine

What I Wish I Were Told

10 things about neurodiverse kids

W

hen my son Angus was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) almost exactly five years ago, I was given lots of information. From the BC Autism Assessment Network (BCAAN) team, handouts about applying for disability benefits and a pamphlet about genetic testing were we considering another pregnancy. From the social worker, a thick booklet of resources on ABA therapy centres and recreation programs and naturopaths claiming to “cure” autism through DAN! (Defeat Autism Now) therapy, something that had been debunked the year Angus was born. I read everything I was given, even the stuff that was harmful. I was desperate for information, for someone to sit me down and tell me what was in store for my family. Basically, what I wanted was a list like this: 1. He’s still the same kid. After his diagnosis, Angus was the same child as before. And he’s likely doing better than he would have been otherwise because of the doors his diagnosis has opened for us.

Your child is still your child after diagnosis, you’re just in a stronger position to advocate for support. Which leads me to: 2. It’s not called being difficult, it’s called being an advocate. It’s hard to feel like you’re always asking for changes (read: complaining), that you will always be asking for changes because no one seems to understand what adaptations your child needs, what they’re capable of and when/where they require support unless you spell it out. Fact: many, many times you will need to spell it out. Do it.

Your child is more important than your reputation as an amiable and easy-going human being.

3. It’s not your fault. Before Angus’s ASD diagnosis I had a lot of theories about why he wasn’t reaching his developmental milestones. A sampling: when I was pregnant, I sometimes rested by laptop on my stomach; I watched crappy TV when I nursed in the middle of the night (screen-time at infancy!); we had to supplement with formula; I cried a lot—did babies smell fear? Brain scans show differences in the shape and structure of the brain in children with autism compared to neurotypical children. It’s nature, not nurture. Don’t waste your energy on guilt, there are so many other things you need it for.

4. Letting go of your child’s imagined future won’t hurt for long. Every parent has plans for their children’s lives. Mike and I intended to take ours on backcountry camping trips from toddlerhood. I was set on violin lessons. But violin lessons aren’t the right choice for a child with developmental coordination disorder. Backcountry camping isn’t in the cards yet either. Other things that aren’t a go: large parties, family dinners at Thai restaurants, fireworks, team sports. It’s hard to kiss good-bye the plans you had for your child, there’s no doubt. But the holes they leave will be filled with other things that will be even better, because they bring your child joy.

5. One size fits all simply doesn’t. I tried the “Guaranteed!” 3-Day Potty Training that worked for every single other mom in our baby group, but when your toddler isn’t even aware that he’s wet, will continue running around the living room as pee streams down his leg, you’re not going to get the desired results. Same for the anti-picky eater protocol. Our problem wasn’t that Angus wouldn’t eat green vegetables. Sure, there were a lot of years where he wouldn’t eat IslandParent.ca

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green vegetables, but he would also stop eating entirely if he found a single grain of rice that was crunchier than the rest.

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6. People will stare. Yes, people will stare at your child when he’s having a meltdown well past the age of typical toddler tantrums. They don’t know your story, and you don’t have to share it with them. Period.

7. Your child will reach milestones.

Okay, so they might not be the ones expected for neurotypical kids, but that doesn’t mean they’ll be any less meaningful. A kid toilet-trained at seven is still a kid who is toilet trained. A kid who buttons his own shirt at 11 is still a kid who’s learned to button his shirt. You’ll have so many reasons to celebrate your child’s accomplishments.

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10. It’ll be okay. As hard as it can be at times, you’ll rise to challenge. Of course you will.

Laura Trunkey is the mother of the amazing Angus, and the author of the story collection Double Dutch (House of Anansi, 2016). Find her at lauratrunkey.com.

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8. You don’t have to do it all. All the therapies—occupational therapy, physical therapy, speech-language therapy, music therapy, art therapy, cognitive behaviour therapy. The social skills groups, the adapted sports programs, the tutoring, the biofeedback, the supplements, the specialized diets. All of them will be recommended. It’s up to you to determine if they’re the right fit for your family.

9. You’re not alone. Sometimes it will feel like you are, but there are other parents who can relate. When you find them it’s magic. Some of the most soul-affirming conversations about parenthood I’ve had have been with strangers who are walking the same path. Not only that, other parents of neurodiverse kids are a wealth of information, and of advice that comes from lived experience rather than magazine articles. As much as your friends with neurotypical children try to understand, and want to understand, often they simply can’t. Make sure to seek out those who can.

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M O M ’ S P OV

Parenting Rules & Exceptions What happens when parenting styles don’t mesh

“B

ut, Mom said I could,” I overheard my son say to my husband. Oh no, I thought. It was another case of a miscommunication and a clash in our parenting styles.

Fighting over various parenting styles is our number one fight. I like to think that we have come a long way, but the fact is that my husband and I were raised differently and we both have different parenting styles. What works for one parent may not work for another parent.

My husband is consistent at getting our kids to clean up after themselves and I’m not consistent with asking them to take their plates from the table to the counter, but I am working on it.

Parenting is a full-time job on top of your likely full-time career and the many other activities and family time in your life.

It requires a lot of effort and you are almost always on duty.

Each generation seems to strive to adopt a different parenting style and to do better than the previous generation. I think we also get to a point where we sound just like our parents as we bellow an order in frustration at the end of a long day.

I get bombarded with different ideas on the best way to deal with behaviours. For example, I feel bad after yelling and I am trying to be calmer (yoga breathing helps me in this department).

44 Island Parent Magazine

I’ve also had numerous great discussion with my parenting friends about accepting that my husband and I likely will never have the same parenting style. However, it is important to understand what triggers each of us and which of our kids’ actions trigger us.

For one, I can’t stand it when our kids eat in the living room.

This has become a family rule now, but where I get myself into trouble is when I make exceptions. Sometimes we eat and drink in the living room during movie night or for a special occasion.

This can make it hard for my husband to support or know when to enforce this rule. I definitely need to work on being consistent with only eating in the kitchen.

In general, we are pretty lucky and our three kids are pretty amazing. Everyone has days where they are not feeling patient or may just be hangry. We have done a great job at creating family rules at our house. We don’t jump on the couch, for example, and we don’t hit.

My husband and I do back each other up when our kids are giving us “sass” or making us feel unappreciated in general. We are trying to teach respect and gratitude. We also come to each other’s rescue on reminding the kids to talk to us politely.

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Dr. Laura Markham’s book, Peaceful Parents, Happy Siblings was a parentingstyle game changer for me. She writes about the power of empathy and how time-outs don’t work. Time-outs can make your child feel isolated and cause the behavior to be repeated. Markham explains that time-outs fuel power struggles between parent and child.

We need to connect to our children more and teach them to connect with their siblings, she says. Fighting is normal, but we need to give our children the tools they need to communicate their feelings. I used to get stressed out when my kids cried, but now I teach my kids that it is okay to cry and let our their emotions. It’s our job to help them feel safe and teach them to express their emotions. Lately, I’ve tried to be a more empathetic parent and I’ve noticed big improvements with everyone.

Another strategy Markham recommends is to turn misbehaviour into play. “All misbehaviour is a cry for help or connection,� she writes. So if your kids are fighting over the couch, for example, playfully sit on top of them and declare that you never get the couch to yourself. “Once children can regulate their emotions, they can regulate their behaviour.�

Markham talks about identifying your triggers and about how to calm yourself down before you go off. I’ve also read that if you do fight in front of your kids, it’s also an opportunity to let your kids see you make up, too, and explain why you were angry. Parents make mistakes, and it’s a good opportunity for children to see how adults apologize and make up.

It’s challenging to raise children in a house with different parenting styles. It would be great to be on the same page all the time. However, our differences can also make us a stronger team. Communication and compromise are key.

Now when my kids ask if they can do something and my husband and I haven’t discussed it yet, I don’t automatically say yes. I say that I will get back to them and let them know once my husband and I have had a chance to talk it over. I don’t feel pressure to make a decision on the spot. I am also trying to be more patient and forgiving with myself and our children.

Serena Beck works full-time as a technical writer. She loves to write, travel and swim at the beach with family and friends.

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ADVERTISERSDIRECTORY Art Gallery of Greater Victoria...................... 31 Attractions Victoria........................................ IBC Ballet Victoria..................................................... 11 Cathedral School............................................. 29 Central Saanich Little League...................... 39 Cinecenta.......................................................... 27 City of Victoria.................................................IFC Discovery School...............................................5 Evergreen School............................................ 29 Freya-Sophia Waldorf Store..........................37 Glenlyon Norfolk School............................... 28 Greater Victoria Teachers Assn.................... 19 Highland Pacific Golf...................................... 23 IMAX/National Geographic Theatre........... 28 International Montessori Academy.............. 12 Island Circus Space........................................ 26 Island Health..................................................... 38 Island Montessori............................................. 19 Juan de Fuca Skating..................................... 33 Kaleidoscope Theatre..................................... 13 Kool & Child...................................................... 29 Language Hub 4Kids.........................................8 Lifestyle Markets............................................. 44 Momease Baby Boutique.............................IFC Mothering Touch.................................................7

Mountain Dream Productions.....................IFC NIL TU,O Child & Family Service ................ 30 Oak and Orca............................................ 33, 44 Oak Bay Preschool......................................... 26 Pacific Coast Swimming................................ 30 Royal BC Museum............................................37 Saanich Dental Group.......................................7 School District #62......................................... 35 School District #63............................................8 Selkirk Montessori.......................................... 46 Serious Coffee................................................. 45 SKAM School of Performing Arts................. 31 Spotlight Academy............................................ 11 St. Margaret’s School........................................3 Stages.......................................................... 12, 23 Swan Lake Nature Centre.............................20 TJ’s The Kiddies Store..................................... 17 Triangle Baseball.............................................. 17 Vancouver Island Parenting Conference.................................................... 21 Victoria Baby & Family Fair........................... 39 Victoria Bug Zoo.............................................. 27 Victoria Gymnastics.................................... OBC Victoria Symphony........................................... 18 Westshore Parks & Recreation.................... 24

January 2020  45

CUTITOUT!

When Reflective Listening Doesn’t Work

K

ids can have mistaken ideas about the world and there is a lot about life that confuses them and this includes teens. Think of all the areas of life that are complex.

Children don’t really understand how money works until they move out and have to pay bills and rent. Younger kids live in the moment so the concept of being late doesn’t make any sense to them. Children also misunderstand personal interactions and will think you aren’t being fair when something is out of your control or that you love their sibling more than them. Some kids have more difficulty picking up on social cues and perceive put-downs or rejection where there isn’t any. Even adults are vulnerable to hearing what they fear when self-esteem is running low. So this is something we need to nurture and recognize so that we can help kids work through difficulties.

When children feel resistant and defensive, it is often because they are misreading a situation or don’t understand the bigger picture. Listening to a child’s feelings is always important but there might be times that it doesn’t seem to help. When this happens, attempt to understand the false, self-limiting beliefs that created the feelings in the first place.

46 Island Parent Magazine

You can engage in active questioning done in a non-defensive way. This can help children identify what is bothering them. You can ask such things as, “Does it seem like I’m judging you or making you wrong?” “What do you tell yourself about this?”

This can only work if your true intent is to be open to learning and supporting. It is the loving nature of a parent during exploration that helps a child move out of a defensive, reactive state.

To add to this, reflect what you think might be important to your child. “What about this is important to you?” or “What really matters to you right now?” “What can I do to help?” Don’t rush in to correct your child’s thoughts, just try to understand them.

This requires some patience. The essence of this process opens up a child’s pain and fear allowing those feelings to be healed.

If we want our children to be loving, caring human beings, we need to be there for them like this when they are struggling.

You can teach lessons later if you need to. For now, get curious, accept your child’s perceptions and stay present.

Allison Rees has two LIFE Seminars books available: Sidestepping the Power Struggle and The Parent Child Connection. See lifeseminars.com.

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