Island Parent Magazine April–May 2021

A P R I L / M AY 2 0 2 1

Vancouver Island’s Parenting Resource for 33 Years

The Challenges of First-time Parenthood Dealing with Differences

Being Born During a Pandemic

An experience that lasts a lifetime!

Summer at Camp Pringle We are open open for summer camps & family cabin rentals!

Visit our website for full details on registration and COVID-19 safety protocols at our facility.

Summer Camps for Children, Youth, Families & Leadership Out of School Care • Community & Corporate Retreats Want to join our team? Visit our website for info on available staff and volunteer positions.

Register or Call Today!

CampPringle.com • 250-743-2189 • info@camppringle.com 2 Island Parent Magazine

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FAMILY FUN PERFORMERS P R E S E N TE D

B Y

Rick Scott Family Concert

Sunday, April 18, 2021 @ 2:30 pm Virtual Livestream Performance $11.50 per household BUY TICKETS ONLINE www.porttheatre.com OR CALL 250 -754- 8550

Music and laughter for all ages! Rick Scott and his dulcimer combine songs, storytelling and humour in warm-hearted concerts for the whole family.

One of Canada’s most beloved children’s performers. www.rickscott.ca If you can’t tune into the livestream event, the performance is available online for 48 hours immediately following the performance.

UPSTREAM !

with The Kerplunks Saturday, May 15, 2021 @ 2:30 pm Virtual Livestream Performance $11.50 per household BUY TICKETS ONLINE www.porttheatre.com OR CALL 250 -754- 8550 Upstream! with The Kerplunks is a high-energy, colourful livestream performance guaranteed to provide children and families with 45 minutes of musical joy.

The Kerplunks’ success has garnered the group three Canadian Folk Music Awards and three consecutive JUNO Award nominations. www.thekerplunks.com If you can’t tune into the livestream event, the performance is available online for 48 hours immediately following the performance.

TheatreOne is generously supported by

IslandParent.ca

April/May 2021 3

TA B L E O F C O N T E N T S

In Every Issue 5

Fast Forward SUE FAST

6

Need to Know

18

Dadspeak

Features

GREG PRATT

24

Family Calendar

26

10

Motherhood

Being Born During a Pandemic

A role not easily summed up on the inside of a Hallmark card.

Will COVID-19 become this generation’s childhood trauma?

SUSAN GNUCCI

34

KELLY CLEEVE

Easter Eggsperiments

12

Three “eggsperiments” that highlight the unique properties of the amazing egg.

Baby Talk in Any Language

14

28

The Challenges of First-time Parenthood

What’s for Dinner

LAUREN MATHESON

Kids’ Reads

Top concerns for new parents.

EMILLIE PARRISH

30

CHRISTINE VAN STARKENBURG

16

Tax Time

Planning ahead is nearly always the solution and tax time is no different.

On the Cover Photo by Chris Higginbottom Photography chrishigginbottom.ca

The Challenges of First-time Parenthood Dealing with Differences

Being Born During a Pandemic

4 Island Parent Magazine

35

LINDSAY PLUMB

21

Preschool & Child Care Directory

Acts of love to help kids mourn what is being lost.

Cut It Out!

LINDSAY COULTER

Vancouver Island’s Parenting Resource for 33 Years

SERENA BECK

Businesses You Need to Know

Eco Grief

A p r i l / M AY 2 0 2 1

32

Moms’ POV

Jim Schneider Publisher publisher@islandparent.ca Sue Fast Editor editor@islandparent.ca Kristine Wickheim Account Manager kristine@islandparent.ca RaeLeigh Buchanan Account Manager raeleigh@islandparent.ca Island Parent Magazine, published by Island Parent Group Enterprises Ltd., is a bimonthly publication that honours and supports parents by providing information on resources and businesses for Vancouver Island families. Views expressed are not necessarily those of the publisher. No material herein may be reproduced without the permission of the publisher. Island Parent is distributed free in selected areas.

Annual mail subscriptions (7 issues) are available for $21 (GST included).

Canadian Publication Mail Product Sales Agreement 40051398. ISSN 0838-5505.

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38

ALLISON REES

Island Parent Magazine

250-388-6905 islandparent.ca

518 Caselton Place, Victoria, BC V8Z 7Y5 A proud member of

BC IslandParent.ca

FA STF O RWA R D

6½ Ways to Welcome Spring

T

here’s something about spring that makes more than just the sun shine and the flowers bloom. Look around and you’re bound to see more smiles and more light in not only our longer days, but in each other’s moods and even as a lightness in our steps!

So get outside and celebrate the start of spring!

1. Geocache. Use GPS systems to seek out and hide treasures all around your neighbourhood. Use a series of coordinates, solve puzzles or decipher clues for specialty caches. geocaching.com 2. Dog swap. Or if you don’t have one of your own, borrow a friend’s dog for the afternoon and find a trail you’ve always meant to explore.

3. Create a new ritual. Sunday brunch in the backyard? Dance before dinner?

Take an early morning cold-water swim (like the Oddballs at Willows Beach, facebook.com/groups/oddballsvictoria).

4. Do a random good deed. Drop off a bouquet of spring flowers, anonymously, at a neighbour’s. Paint and hide rocks with encouraging notes.

Or do the same with sidewalk chalk around your neighbourhood.

5. Celebrate anything. Make a cake. Light some candles. Pick some flowers.

Open the windows, get dressed up, play your favourite music and silly dance.

5½. And remember: bike parades are always a good idea.

6. Make plans. Sure time flies while you’re having fun and spring won’t last forever but summer is on its way. Start making a list of what you’d like to do. From staycations to local road trips, planning is half the fun.

S TAG E S Summer Programs Running This July & August

Presc For 3

hool D

ance

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Through these times let’s be careful & kind out there

Come Dance With Us Call (250) 384-3267, email: stagesdance@shaw.ca, or visit us at www.stagesdance.com

IslandParent.ca

April/May 2021 5

N E E DTO KN OW

GVPL on the Go The Ideas to Go series encourages patrons to learn a new skill or discover a hobby.

Episodes cover a variety of topics ranging from Scratch, the world’s most popular coding community for kids to the animals that live in the Salish Sea. The series has introduced many patrons to the resources that are available through the library’s digital branch, www.gvpl.ca, including the online video learning platform Niche Academy.

The Take and Make program, which provides ‘to-go bags’ containing supplies and instructions for various DIY-inspired projects, saw two new ‘bags’. One features a craft project that uses food and Eric Carle’s classic storybook The Very Hungry Caterpillar to help children understand the importance of good nutrition. A second ‘bag’ was developed in partnership with local origami enthusiast Stephen Tran and is designed to highlight the joyful art of paper folding. www.gvpl.ca

Storytelling Club for Isolated Learners Story Theatre inspires young storytellers by creating touring theatre productions for children, educators, and families. So what’s a touring company to do when it’s unable to reach their live audience? Start a Club that reaches their audience through the mail! Working with an illustrator, actors and teaching artists, Story Theatre provides 4 activity kits to encourage children to learn the craft of storytelling. Kits include: games, crafts and placemaking challenges. For ages 6-10.

By donation. Email club@storytheatre.ca.

AGGV’s Virtual Workshops The Art Gallery of Greater Victoria’s workshops for school-aged learners have gone virtual this year, with two online (pre-recorded) workshops featuring local artists, Bradley Yuxwelupton Dick and Farheen HaQ. In Song & Storytelling, Bradley Yuxwelupton Dick shares The “Paddle Welcome Song”, welcoming everyone to Lekwungen lands, today known as the Songhees and Esquimalt Nations. Hear Lekwungen stories and a “territorial acknowledgement.” In Nurturing through Artmaking, Farheen HaQ shares how to take care of yourself and others through art making. Learners create a “Rangoli Mandala” as a class, small group, or on their own, and explore how art and being mindful are connected. Two online workshops cost $100. Each video is 45 min. Have access video workshops for 3 months. aggv.ca/half-day-workshops

6 Island Parent Magazine

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The Kiddies Store Dedicated to providing Vancouver Island families with high-quality infant and toddler products at affordable prices for over 25 years

Now Offering Curb-Side Pickups Current Hours: Tues–Sat 10am–5pm

tjskids.com 250-386-2229

Finlayson St.

St.

3045–C Douglas St. Victoria, BC

Douglas

Expecting Your First Baby?

Explore all the quirky cuteness from the creators of the softest toys you have ever hugged, cuddled and adored. There is always something original and quirky yet incredibly soft and sumptuous to find at a Jellycat jamboree! Irresistibly cuddly, sophisticatedly silly, hilariously humorous, a perfect gift for all ages!

Larch St.

Entrance off Larch St.

T.J.’s

The UVic Healthy Relationships Lab is conducting a research study called the Expectant Couples Checkup Study. To get involved, fill out short online surveys to see if you qualify. You must be 19 years or older, expecting your first child, able to communicate in English, living with your partner, and a resident of Canada to participate. Then you answer questions about communication and conflict in your relationship. All participants who finish the survey will receive information about conflict during the transition to parenthood as well as a list of local community resources. All couples will complete online surveys two weeks after the initial online session, as well as four, eight, and twelve months after the baby is born.

Participants will receive an honorarium for completion of all procedures.

To take the eligibility survey, visit web.uvic.ca/~psyclime/index. php/634617/lang-en.

IslandParent.ca

April/May 2021 7

VIRL’s Sea & Cedar is Seeking Submissions

The Vancouver Island Regional Library (VIRL) is currently seeking submissions of short fiction, creative non-fiction, poetry and artwork for the first issue of the new serial digital publication. The submission deadline to have your work considered for the summer Issue (July 2021) is May 15. Sea & Cedar Magazine is a biannual digital publication dedicated to showcasing exemplary new writing by both emerging and established writers in VIRL’s service area. It also highlights the work of visual artists who are creating at all levels of experience in VIRL’s service area. Submissions welcome from BIPOC writers and artists, writers and artists with disabilities, 2SLGBTQIA+ writers and artists, low-income earners, and writers and artists from other intersectional and under-represented communities. virl.bc.ca/sea-cedar-magazine-call-for-submissions

Train Your Brain with a Video Game?

The Victoria Brain Injury Society (VBIS) has partnered with the UVic Concussion Lab in a research project that measures whether a video game can improve the performance and daily life activities in VBIS clients who have sustained a traumatic brain injury. NeuroTracker, a computer program, uses a 3D object-tracking task to test participant’s visual and

INGENIUM Ingenium represents a collaborative space where the past meets the future in a celebration of creativity, discovery and human ingenuity. Telling the stories of people who think differently and test the limits, Ingenium honours people and communities who have shaped history—and inspire the next generation. Under Ingenium, three museums—the Canada Agriculture and Food Museum, Canada Aviation and Space Museum and the Canada Science and Technology Museum—provide a sensory experience that immerses young and old alike in the countless ways science and technology connect with Canadians’ everyday lives. The Ingenium museums have a jam-packed virtual activity schedule to keep the kids busy.

cognitive-perceptual abilities.

NeuroTracker trains cognitive-perceptual skills and aids recovery following concussion. For more information, contact the VBIS at 250-598-9339 or admin@vbis.ca.

ingeniumcanada.org

8 Island Parent Magazine

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Rick Scott Family Concert Livestream Beloved all-ages artist Rick Scott will perform a virtual Family Concert Livestream with special guest Nico Rhodes on Sunday, April 18 at 2:30pm. Tickets $11.50 per household for a 48 hour viewing window. Presented by TheatreOne and the Port Theatre. Call 250-754-8550 or order online at porttheatre.com/events/rick-scott-family-concert

PISE PLAY Your Way Grant Remember the joys of days spent playing outside all summer? We want our kids to have the same healthy, active experience. The high cost of living on the Island often means both parents work most of the summer, and it can be even harder for single-parent families.

This can lead to the only option being to leave the kids in front of one screen or another, especially when money is too tight to afford summer camps and people are working from home. This summer, Pacific Institute for Sport Excellence (PISE) will offer over 40 camps and programs for children and youth located on South Vancouver Island. To ensure children aren’t excluded due to financial reasons, PISE offers the Play Your Way Grant, a program that can cover the cost of any PISE-facilitated program or camp. To learn more about the Play Your Way Grant, visit pise.ca/grant.

SUMMER CAMPS

BASKETBALL • VIKES ADVENTURERS • SWIMMING • VIKES SPORTS • TRACK & FIELD • and more!

Develop skills, meet new friends, explore creativity and experience exciting activities in a fun, safe and positive environment.

RECREATION SPORT DEVELOPMENT HIGH PERFORMANCE CLIMBING & OUTDOOR Presented by

Supported by

REGISTRATION OPENS APRIL 1!

See complete camps listings online:

vikescamps.com IslandParent.ca

April/May 2021 9

Being Born During a Pandemic A

few weeks ago, I met my sister and 15-month-old nephew for a walk in the woods. I hadn’t seen them as much I would like, due to COVID safety restrictions, but felt compelled to spend time with my favourite baby, so we sanitized, put on our masks and headed out for some socially-distanced time in nature.

Very conscious that my mask covered the lower half of my face, I tried to express my joy at seeing my nephew with my body language and overly excited tone of voice. (The phrase “apple of my eye” takes on a whole new meaning when that’s the only part of your face which can convey emotion. Can he tell, by my eyes, that I’m smiling?) As he wobbled up to me, on unsteady toddler legs, I bent down to greet him and the very first thing he did was reach for my mask and pulled it off.

This tiny gesture, made by tiny hands, set my brain awhirling. I have an academic background in human development and the researcher in me was awakened. Did my nephew reach for my mask because it looked silly and he wanted to touch it? Or did he reach for my mask because he longed to see my face?

Being born only months before our first national quarantine, my nephew knows no other way of life. His first experiences on this planet have been of faces covered in masks. My sister told me that he naturally extends his hands for sanitizer when he sees his parents applying their own. I wondered, how is COVID affecting the development of small children? My natural curiosity soon turned an ugly corner into anxious fretting.

What will become of a generation of toddlers who could not see facial expressions? Who cannot spend time around family? Who are being raised to avoid skin to skin contact with people other than their parents and siblings? Will COVID become this generation’s childhood trauma?

Could there possibly be anything good that comes of this?

After some serious brooding, I concluded that almost all generations are shaped by childhood trauma and that most of us rise above it. Some of us even use these experiences to better ourselves and our society. My grandparents’ childhoods were marked by war and famine. As a result, they became resilient and self-sufficient.

Our society became acutely aware of safety and vowed to work tirelessly to prevent another war. My parents were raised in the civil rights era, a time when violence was ripping Band-aids off previously accepted culture. My parents grew up to become open minded and accepting. Our society

10 Island Parent Magazine

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created new standards for human rights. I was raised in a generation which experienced Columbine and 9/11. Fear was the predominant emotion felt by most adults at that time society became aware that fear, unleashed, can create a dangerous us versus them mentality or, recognized, can be used as inspiration to come together in community.

Yes, this generation of children are being raised in a time unlike we have seen before. Yes, that certainly has its drawbacks and limitations. However, when I sat down to truly think about my nephew’s experience, thus far, I was able to discover some benefits. For instance, my sister’s husband, who works in the movie business, was able to stay home for more than 6 months shortly after his son was born. How many children are able to spend their first months in life with both mom and dad to care for them? When I had children, my husband was able to take one week off to spend with us.

Children all over the world are spending more time with their parents than ever before. People are watching movies together, playing games, reading books and going for walks.

This, if you asked me, far outweighs the temporary cancellation of swimming lessons, toddler playdates and music groups. This generation of children is less likely to be latchkey kids (as I was), or day care kids (like my children were).

They will have a strong foundation of being raised by parents who are able to spend quality time with them. Families are more present and connected than they have been in generations. That’s got to mean something, right?

While the researcher in me will continue to be curious about the impact of COVID on toddler development, I am doing so with hope and not fear. I am certain that COVID will affect family dynamics and a child’s perception of the world, however, I am also certain that these children will rise above it all to create something beautiful as a result of the lessons we are all learning during this time.

Kelly Cleeve is a best-selling author and an educator. More importantly, she is the proud parent of two amazing sons.

Visit kellycleeve.com or follow her on Instagram @resilient_kel and Facebook – Raising Resilient Children/Radiant and Resilient.

IslandParent.ca

April/May 2021 11

Baby Talk in Any Language

B

abies prefer baby talk in any language, but particularly when it’s in a language they’re hearing at home, according to a new study including close to 700 babies on four

continents. The research, published in the journal Advances in Methods and Practices in Psychological Science, showed that all babies respond more to infant-directed speech— baby talk—than they do to adult-directed speech. It also revealed

that babies as young as six months can pick up on differences in language around them.

The study involved 17 labs on four continents—in Canada, the United States, Europe, Australia and Singapore—and tested 333 bilingual and 385 monolingual children. Babies were separated into groups of 6-9-month-olds and 12-15-month-olds.

The bilingual babies shared at least one of their two languages with the monolinguals.

Each baby was played short, pre-recorded tapes of Englishspeaking mothers using infant-directed and adult-directed speech. The researchers then measured each baby’s looking time while those recordings were playing.

Although infants exposed to many different languages showed the same listening preference, those babies who came from homes in which English was spoken paid even more attention to the infant-directed speech. The more familiar they were with the language, the more they liked that infant-directed speech. So a baby who is hearing English 75 per cent of the time in their home would show a greater preference than a baby who is hearing English 25 per cent of the time.

To read “A Multi-lab Study of Bilingual Infants: Exploring the Preference for Infant-Directed Speech”, visit Advances in Methods and Practices in Psychological Science at psyarxiv.com/sqh9d.

day cam ps are back !

video sumMer ur new /media watch o er mM su oes.ca/ at qwan

the best of summer from monday to friday!

Return bus transportation for some weeks!

12 Island Parent Magazine

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VANCOUVER-BASED MEAL KIT COMPANY SERVING UP SUSTAINABILITY AND TASTY FAMILY MEALS My son loves trying new things! When he finds something new and interesting, I hear about it constantly. So when he asked about meal kits after seeing an ad, we thought it was a great solution to family dinners and a week later we had one delivered. We were all excited, and that night we cooked up a storm.

The kids got the condiments and seasonings ready, Dad read out the recipe, and I started cooking. It was a fun and connecting experience with music on and everyone playing a part. After we finished our amazing dinner, though, we were surprised to find a counter filled with containers, baggies, and boxes.

The problem with meal kits, we soon realized, was what was leftover at the end: the packaging! As great as the experience was, the packaging was more than we bargained for and put us off meal prep delivery services.

Things have evolved in a big way over the past year, and families have even more demands on them than ever. We’re all looking for a little break and a lot of help. But our past experience with other meal kits had us hesitant to try again.

Bring us to 2021, and we discovered that Vancouver-based meal kit provider, Fresh Prep has provided a solution to the problem. Earlier this month, the meal kit delivery service brought a first-of-its-kind sustainable product to market, with the launch of its Zero Waste Kit. The Fresh Prep Zero Waste Kit is a reusable meal kit container that significantly reduces waste from single-use plastic, and allows for an easier and more organized cooking experience. Delivered in Fresh Prep’s signature cooler bags, all parts of the Zero Waste Kit are made with BPAfree reusable plastic.

One of the many benefits of using the kit is that you receive preportioned ingredients in each compartment, resulting in no excess food waste. You’ll spend less time cutting open plastic as the kits are structured for grab-and-go cooking. And since the ingredient cups double up as measuring cups and mixing bowls, there’s instantly less of a mess for you to clean up afterwards.

Finally, a meal kit that is delicious, convenient AND sustainable! No cardboard boxes here, as deliveries are made in reusable, insulated cooler bags that are exchanged upon next delivery.

Today, families are much more aware of their footprint in the world: our cities have massive recycling programs, schools require zero-waste lunches, and we use reusable containers as much as possible. So it just

10 IslandParent.ca www.WestCoastFamilies.com

makes sense that Fresh Prep is providing convenience and enjoyment at mealtime together and helping us manage our waste too.

Using a service that helps in our busy lives really adds to our quality of life. Fresh Prep provides tasty menus each week that you can choose together as a family, which means the kids get involved in the planning too. When the meals arrive with pre-measured ingredients, it’s easy for everyone to participate in the cooking. It’s a great way for busy families to spend a little time together in the kitchen and around the dinner table!

Given the value, we’re amazed that Fresh Prep is one of the more affordable meal kit offerings having a lower price per serving and minimum order costs than competitors.

As a family, we still get the same locallysourced, high-quality ingredients and chefquality recipes that Fresh Prep is known for, at a great price and without the waste we don’t want.

As if there wasn’t already enough to love, there is more to Fresh Prep than just meal kits. They have also added quick meals, salads, kids meals and sides to your delivery options which make great lunches and snacks too. Over 75% of ingredients and Add-on items are supplied by local companies and suppliers, and the kits are also prepared and packaged locally, to deliver fresh and high quality ingredients to people across BC. Plus, you can gift meals to a family or friend who needs a little extra help too. We’re hooked!

ZERO WASTE RECIPES ARE ON THE FRESH PREP WEBSITE NOW, AND ARE GRADUALLY ROLLING OUT ACROSS THE ENTIRE MENU. IF YOU HAVEN’T SIGNED UP YET, YOU CAN PREVIEW THE MENU AT WWW.FRESHPREP.CA/MENU/THIS-WEEK

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April/May 2021 13

The Challenges of First-time Parenthood A

lthough becoming a parent comes with countless ups and downs, many enter parenthood with eyes wide open to some of the challenges of taking care of a new baby. They have heard other parents talk about how peace and quiet will be in short supply and dirty diapers and sleepless nights will become the norm. However, diapers and sleep were rarely listed among the top concerns for new parents interviewed by researchers from the Department of Psychology at the University of Victoria.

that they had been told would be “natural” and “easy.”

• They talked about isolation, a challenge new parents faced long before the COVID-19 pandemic put an end to many in-person services.

These are some of the experiences firsttime parents shared during 20 interviews in 2019 and early 2020. Fourteen new moms and six new dads were interviewed to gain a better understanding of the resources available to parents in the Victoria area and to pinpoint where they could

Instead, new moms and dads were more likely to talk about the parts of parenthood less often mentioned in popular media and in public imagination: • They talked about the frustration of waiting in line at walk-in clinics because they were without family doctors, or of calling daycares over and over again just to get put on a waitlist.

• They described being surprised by the challenges of breastfeeding, a process

use greater support. The interviews were part of the larger “Perinatal Resources for Parents” (PeRC) study, funded by a University of Victoria Internal Research Grant awarded to Dr. Erica Woodin.

The biggest challenges mentioned by most parents related to ongoing, systemic issues in the Victoria area such as the high cost of living, lack of family doctors, and shortage of childcare spaces. Most parents in the study did not have family

14 Island Parent Magazine

doctors and found themselves waiting in line at walk-in clinics and receiving minimal continuation of care. Even early childhood vaccinations were difficult to come by, with local Public Health Units booking far in advance. Parents frequently had to make use of same day appointments to get their vaccinations, which meant calling the Health Unit each morning until they were able to secure an appointment.

Similar to the lack of available doctors, parents also expressed frustration surrounding the lack of available childcare in Victoria. When asked about childcare, many parents admitted they were still on waitlists and worried about being about to return to work once their parental leave was over. Those who had secured spots had placed their child on waitlists before they were even born, a practice some parents found out was commonplace only too late.

“I realized when he was…a couple months old already,” said one participant, “that we should’ve been on top of this and then that’s just one more thing that I had to worry about.”

Parents were equally surprised by an aspect of parenting that many had never thought to worry about: breastfeeding.

Almost all parents in the study expressed concerns around breastfeeding and about half noted it was a primary area of difficulty for them or their partner during early parenthood.

Many were quick to point out that there are ample resources for breastfeeding parents in Victoria but that they had to access several services before issues with breastfeeding resolved. For others, despite accessing many services, breastfeeding continued to be difficult or had to be discontinued. Parents were often surprised by how difficult breastfeeding was or felt shame in being unable to feed their child.

“Before you have a baby, you assume that it’s natural and that it’s easy, and that’s how babies eat, and that it should IslandParent.ca

just happen like that,” said one parent.

“It doesn’t. It’s so challenging and, despite the fact that it’s natural, you have to have all of your ducks lined up for it work smoothly.”

Although all parents faced unique challenges, common threads such a trouble with breastfeeding and barriers to accessing medical and childcare services emerged in the interviews. Along with a clear need for greater local resources to support health care access and childcare availability, participants also said they would benefit from messages that normalize the challenges of breastfeeding and de-stigmatize some women’s inability to breastfeed.

Check out more information on local parent and family resources and about research being conducted by the University of Victoria’s Healthy Relationships Lab at: onlineacademiccommunity.uvic. ca/healthyrelationshipslab.

Lauren Matheson is a PhD Student in the Clinical Psychology Program at the University of Victoria.

IslandParent.ca

Time to Take the First Steps Glenlyon Norfolk School is excited to announce that we will be offering a First Steps Junior Kindergarten half-day pilot program this fall, primarily for three-year-olds. These young students will have the opportunity to learn and play in an environment that is Montessori based within the framework of the respected inquiry-focussed IB Primary Years Programme. Nature School as well as Art, French and PE with our specialist teachers, will complement the work of the classroom teachers. And, of course, there will be ample time for the unstructured play that is so crucial for early childhood development. Please contact admissions@mygns.ca or visit our website for more information.

IB CONTINUUM CONTINUUM DE L’IB CONTINUO DEL IB

April/May 2021 15

Tax Time!

T

here are few things more frustrating and confusing than money for the modern family. For many families, this time of year is the climax of those emotions as we find ourselves in the middle of tax season.

But before we look at the current season, take this opportunity to look ahead to next season. This is a conversation I have on a regular basis as an accredited financial counsellor. At any given point, there is very little about our current financial situation that is managed, or fixed, by looking down where our feet are planted now. Planning ahead is nearly always the solution and tax time is no different.

Get organised. A simple filing system can make a world of difference. Choose from paper or paperless to get started, get your supplies, and spend an afternoon getting started. Expert TIP: Place a “To Be Filled” folder in the kitchen, or command centre, for those statements and bills amid a hectic day.

Save for your tax bill. If there’s a chance that CRA will be calling to collect, start saving each month now. Looking at your most recent return is a good way to estimate what your future might hold. Expert TIP: Open a separate account, start automated transfers in, and name the account “Tax.” Seek support. If you have a question about your financial situation, find a professional to answer it. Too often we shy away from paying for help and end up costing ourselves more in the future. (Expert TIP: Join the free group on Facebook called Black Is The New Red to participate in exciting conversations about money.)

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Now that we’ve looked ahead, let’s look at what’s right in front of us. While I don’t offer tax advice in my practise, I do hear the vibrant chatter each spring. Because getting organized to take our file to the accountant can be confusing, I’ve put together a quick reference list for some of the most common areas of concern: • Registered Education Savings Plan (RESP): Contributions are not tax deductible.

• Canada Child Benefit (CCB): Benefit is not taxable.

• Affordable Childcare Benefit (ACCB): Benefit is not taxable.

• Childcare expenses: Deductible up to $8000 for children under age 7 and $5000 for children under age 5.

• Fitness and/or arts credit: Those were removed a few years ago when CCB was increased.

• Medical expenses: If you were not reimbursed for your expenses and you spent more than 3 per cent, you can claim.

• Work from home: if you worked from home for more than 50 per cent of the time for four consecutive weeks, you can claim $2 per day.

In 2021, there are many online resources to help you. Please ensure you’re using reputable resources like canada.ca or work with an experienced professional to prepare your tax return.

This article should not be considered tax advice.

Lindsay Plumb is coach and founder of MOOLA Financial Coaches & Advisors. yourmoola.ca.

IslandParent.ca

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We’re Going on a Nature Hunt!

Do you know a budding biologist? A little nature lover? A young (or young at heart) scientist? Are you and your family interested in learning more about the amazing biodiversity that lives right outside your door? Grab your binoculars, camera and sense of curiosity and participate in the CRD’s first ever Biodiversity Challenge.

Between May 21 and 24, 2021 join other nature lovers across Greater Victoria to build a record of the species that surround us using the free iNaturalist Canada website or app. iNaturalist provides image recognition for photos you take of local nature, so that you and your family can learn to identify new plants and animals while having fun outdoors. With an adult’s help, iNaturalist is an engaging way for kids to learn about nature and participate in real world citizen science.

Joining the CRD’s Biodiversity Challenge is simple and fun:

Find nature in your backyard, neighbourhood, favourite park or beach between May 21–24. Observations of wild native plants, animals, fungi, insects, tracks, or even scat are all welcome.

Use a digital camera or smart phone to capture your sightings.

Create a free iNaturalist account and upload your observations and photos.

Identify your findings as best you can and have people from the iNaturalist community help confirm your identifications.

Search iNaturalist for the CRD’s Biodiversity Challenge project page to see live updates of what other families are finding. Join the project to have the chance to win some fun prizes.

Biodiversity at your Doorstep

You do not have to stray far from home to find amazing plants, animals and ecosystems in the capital region. Did you know that Greater Victoria lies in one of Canada’s nature hotspots, bursting with an incredible diversity of plants and wildlife?

Nestled among our neighbourhoods and workplaces are salmon-bearing streams, Garry oak meadows, vibrant wetlands and dynamic shorelines. In our backyards and local parks we can find pollinating insects, migrating birds, native wildflowers, and towering trees. This incredible abundance of life, or biodiversity, supports clean air and water, food security, recreational and cultural opportunities, and is key to the high quality of life we enjoy in the capital region.

Observing and learning about the natural world that surrounds us can boost mental health and wellbeing, and is a key step in conserving nature for future generations. Visit crd.bc.ca/biodiversity for more information on biodiversity in the CRD and the iNaturalist challenge, including details about prizes and iNaturalist resources that will help you get started.

Calling all nature lovers!

Join the CRD’s Biodiversity Challenge!

Friday, May 21 - 24, 2021 How many plants, animals and fungi can you find? Join us on May long weekend and get outside with your family to explore the diversity of life around us! Enter your observations into the free and simple iNaturalist app and check out what other people have found too!

Learn more at www.crd.bc.ca/biodiversity

IslandParent.ca

April/May 2021 17

DA D S PE A K

Life After COVID-19

“Y

ou know things aren’t always like this, right? You won’t always have to wear a mask or stay away from people or line up outside stores to get in?”

So I found myself awkwardly asking my oldest kid the other day, as we celebrated one year of life with the plague, one year of awkward side-stepping strangers, one year of being unclear on if we’re allowed to have playdates (no) or meet friends at the park (yes, I think) or go to the grandparents’ houses (no). And, man, it’s the last one that’s the killer, our kids barely seeing their grandparents for the past year; considering our youngest is barely two years old, that’s a big deal.

It’s all just so awkward, really. Before the pandemic my kids had started to get a bit of independence; maybe they would hop over to the grocery store by themselves to grab a snack. Now, with all the rules and regulations, with all the increased tension and news reports of horribly miserable people getting into fights with store clerks because they don’t want to wear masks, I just think, no, my kids aren’t ready for that.

Of course, none of us was ready for this, which is probably why people are miserable, people are getting into fights, people are just staying home with their kids, getting increasingly more agitated as the days, weeks, months pass.

We celebrate a year of kinda barely living by continuing to kinda barely live, passing on taking the extracurricular stuff online

because that just isn’t working on our end, Zoom malfunctions leading to familial malfunctions until all plugs are pulled.

After homeschooling for a while, we actually put our kids back in school—during a pandemic! Well, we put our kids back in school because of the pandemic, really. Because homeschooled kids aren’t allowed indoor playdates with other kids, it just all become a bit too much, a bit too much time spent without social contact.

I’m still not entirely sure about that decision, but are any of us entirely sure about any parenting decision we’ve made during the pandemic?

This is a messed-up time to be a parent, no doubt about it.

Every decision—seriously, even just running into the mall to grab something—becomes a matter of life or death, even for people like me who regularly eat food off the ground (I don’t mean food I just dropped, I mean, “Holy crap, I found a chip on my floor, Daddy’s day is looking up.”) and aren’t exactly what you could call a germophobe by any stretch of the imagination. We forget our masks, we curse under our breath, we lament the fact that our kids all just lost a year of their lives, a year of what should be the best time of their lives.

We were barely getting the hang of parenting before this. Now we’re relearning.

“Do you remember what it was like before this?” I added on

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18 Island Parent Magazine

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to my line of questioning to my daughter, who said yes as she kinda rolled her eyes at me, reminding me that, hmm, alright, kids are maybe a bit more resilient than we are and don’t overthink things as much as us adults do.

Still, I yearn for the day when I can shake another dad’s hand in greeting, when my kids can go to the store without having to worry about total societal collapse around them resulting in strangers spitting on each other in fear and anger (or walking the wrong way down an aisle), when I can just make a decision without factoring in COVID-19 restrictions that I need to recheck every single time because I can never remember what exactly they are.

I guess, like everyone else, I just want our lives back. And, like every parent out there right now, I just want my kids’ lives back.

Greg Pratt is the father of three children and a local journalist and editor. His writing has appeared in, among other places, Today’s Parent, Decibel and Douglas.

He is @gregprattwriter on Twitter.

IslandParent.ca

It’s swimming combined with music, dance, gymnastics & drama AND it’s a TEAM sport!!

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cowichanbaykayaking.com 250-597-3031 info@cowichanbaykayaking.com April/May 2021 19

BRANDED CONTENT

I

n 2012, Robert Bateman, a world-renowned artist and environmentalist, founded the Bateman Foundation. He wanted to help people reconnect with nature, hoping that, in turn, people would be inspired to conserve and protect it. The goal is to create a lasting legacy—one where our world is preserved and our children “know their neighbours.”

This is not an easy task to accomplish, and the foundation started small. Nine years later, its flagship program—Nature Sketch—has become a great success. The premise behind Nature Sketch is simple: rebuilding our relationships with nature by sketching it. Participants are guided by artists and naturalists as they learn about local ecosystems through sketch and study.

20 Island Parent Magazine

In the trying times of a pandemic, the need for people to connect with nature is even greater. Sketching nature not only promotes knowledge, understanding and connection to the environment, but the act itself is also a mindful one: taking time to stop, look and sketch can be a useful tool for managing mental health in a time of isolation and anxiety.

The Bateman Foundation redesigned its programs in the wake of COVID-19, and the new online courses attracted participants from as far as Europe. They have also launched free drop-in sessions guided by an art therapist for the local community. Swing by the Bateman Gallery in Victoria on Tuesday evenings or Thursday mornings, and you will be welcomed to express your unique creativity and find support in each other.

In 2021, the foundation will re-introduce in-person outdoor education programs on Vancouver Island, after months of preparation to integrate new safety protocols. In Victoria and Duncan, you might be able to see participants of all ages studying and sketching outdoors on the weekends: Junior and Adult classes will run on Saturdays starting in May. Meanwhile, online programs will continue to run—if Nature Sketch is not yet available in your area, you can still join in!

This past year has taught us to appreciate the importance of nature in our lives. Studies

have shown reconnecting with nature can improve mental health, boost energy and promote overall well-being. Nature helps children unleash creativity, and gives them a chance to exercise, play and discover. The Bateman Foundation is very proud to be doing this work. In the words of Robert Bateman: “Nature is magic.”

For information on Nature Sketch classes in your area and online, please visit batemanfoundation.org/naturesketch.

IslandParent.ca

Eco Grief

Acts of love to help kids mourn what is being lost

M

om, who cries for the orca?” asked my six-year-old son asked.

It was 2018, orca J35, Tahlequah, carried her dead baby across 1,600 km of the Pacific Ocean for 17 days.

“We can,” I answered and we both wept. It was a relief to share my tears with someone.

I felt unsure how to lead a meaningful and age-appropriate way to mark this sorrow end. We chose to kayak in “our” cove near Haro Strait to offer a prayer and gratitude. We also created a piece of impermanent Earth art on the beach with shells, sea glass, stones, and leaves.

Nature is important to acknowledge. It reminds us of our lasting connection to the living world and each other. But have we allowed ourselves to mourn these kinds of losses? What are the rituals for losing a baby orca, or an entire species?

Our culture feels broken. Society tells us idolize work ethic, make money, and serve the economy. Yet, it’s obvious we are witnessing and contributing to ecological collapse. Can we reconcile the life we meant to create with reality—a disconnect from the living world, ourselves and one another?

IslandParent.ca

We can skill-up to mark sorrow endings and we must.

Let’s offer more reverence for the death of a songbird after hitting the kitchen window and the loss of old-growth forests.

What if we knew how to tend to these moments with the same energy we give to celebrations like the tooth fairy and birthday parties?

Eco grief is the pain or physiological response to the loss of non-human kin. It also requires healthy grief expression because we can mourn for nature.

Benefits of making grief your friend

• It invites us to be more intimate with the Earth • It’s a wise and healing force within each of us • Processing it can help counteract violence against the Earth • Processing grief expands us • Emotional tears excrete toxins and stimulate the production of endorphins, a chemical in the body to relieve stress and pain.

Dr. Gordon Neufeld a developmental psychologist and bestselling author, ensures us happiness is on the other side of tears,

April/May 2021 21

Healthy Families, Happy Families

Child, Youth & Family Public Health

it builds our strength, and tears signal a turning point.

Shauna Janz of Sacred Grief speaks to the costs of grief avoidance and having our losses accumulate: • They go unfelt, unacknowledged, and unresolved • It compromises our aliveness (grief expression = vitality and joy) • We deny our birthright to grieve Grief needs a container, to be witnessed and shared. There’s so much in our lives we can’t change. Children and adults need rest from trying to change it. Yet, to be fully human we need to feel. Grief

1. Energy can’t die or be destroyed.

A mink once killed our rented pair of chickens. My then 6- and 2-year-old cried. We chose to keep a feather from each in a jar, and I helped them reflect on how Cream Puff and Fig left their mark.

For weeks they had torn up my garden and pooped everywhere! We remember them each time we pluck a juicy raspberry, strawberry, or carrot. Their energy doesn’t disappear.

2. Create a shrine or altar. There is no wrong way to do this. Let the child’s heart lead to create this container for their grief. It’s a tangible way to honour,

can rearrange our insides, and we will be forever changed. A container—ritual, ceremony, activity—can prevent feelings of overwhelm or closing down.

remember and reflect on what’s alive in their hearts and spirit. Simple tips are: • It should comfort and nurture them • It can be inside or outside • Choose a box, a tin, or special spot in the garden • Add items from nature like leaves, branches, shells, even a found bird nest • Add photos, fabric (or other textures like clay), a chime or bell The purpose is to offer a sanctuary or refuge. Children may choose to visit often or at the same time each week or month.

You can sit in silence, close your eyes or journal here.

Alan Wolfelt, a leading death educator and author says “Personal times of still-

South Island Health Units

Esquimalt Gulf Islands

250-519-5311 250-539-3099

Peninsula Saanich Saltspring Island Sooke Victoria West Shore

250-544-2400 250-519-5100 250-538-4880 250-519-3487 250-388-2200 250-519-3490

(toll-free number for office in Saanichton)

Central Island Health Units

Duncan Ladysmith Lake Cowichan Nanaimo Nanaimo Princess Royal Parksville/Qualicum Port Alberni Tofino

250-709-3050 250-755-3342 250-749-6878 250-755-3342 250-739-5845 250-947-8242 250-731-1315 250-725-4020

North Island Health Units

Campbell River Courtenay Kyuquot Health Ctr ‘Namgis Health Ctr Port Hardy

250-850-2110 250-331-8520 250-332-5289 250-974-5522 250-902-6071

islandhealth.ca/our-locations/ health-unit-locations Changes with BC Medical Services Plan premiums mean that families eligible for partial payment of some medical services and access to some income-based programs now must apply for Supplementary Benefits through the Government of BC. Applications can be done online and take approximately 15 minutes.

Families who previously qualified for MSP Premium Assistance should not need to re-apply if taxes are completed yearly. It is advised to confirm coverage before proceeding with treatment to avoid paying out of pocket.

For more information, visit gov.bc.ca/gov/ content/health/health-drug-coverage/msp/ bc-residents/benefits/services-covered-bymsp/supplementary-benefits

22 Island Parent Magazine

Eight kid-friendly ways to grieve for our living world:

Try these ideas to support a child with the loss of a tree cut at school, finding a dead fledgling after a storm, or help with the loss of a beloved pet. Hint: You may choose to avoid the word grief when speaking with young children. You can name feelings of sadness or honour a goodbye.

IslandParent.ca

ness are a spiritual necessity. Grief is only transformed when you honor the quiet forces of stillness.”

3. Create impermanent Earth art. An Earth altar, land art or nature mandala is a simple way to acknowledge sorrow and joy. Need inspiration? My family took a workshop by Day Schildkret of Morning Altars. See the beauty he creates @ MorningAltars, read his book, get a calendar, or consider an online workshop. It’s a heartfelt way to acknowledge a loss, or life in a humble way. Don’t forget to pay gratitude to items from nature (leaves, flowers, shells, seeds, etc.) you collect.

Practice consent-based harvesting.

4. Walking meditation. Walk a labyrinth (we have two in our neighbourhood and you might discover a local one, too!) or choose a favourite trail. Invite kids to ask a question, or set an intention then walk in silence (even a couple minutes counts).

5. Journal. A child who feels heavy with sorrow for the world may want to share more. Writing can be a release, an emotional playground. Need prompts? Try “my sadness for the dead baby bird or clearcut forest…”

• Feels like…

• Sounds like…

• Is shaped like…

• Smells like…

• Is coloured like…

• Has energy like…

6. Write a letter or poem to Mother Nature (drawings are great). Help a child express their gratitude. What you love about her: her smell, sounds, colours or how she makes you

IslandParent.ca

feel, etc. You can choose to hang the letter, drawings and notes in a favourite tree. (Psst, this is how neighbourhood gratitude trees start!)

7. Restore a local green space. My family is a volunteer steward for woods near our home. Check with your city for work parties to remove invasive species, or a beach clean-up.

Be part of a team or lead one to make beauty where ugliness has set in. We all can restore a world dying and in disrepair.

Experiences in nature promote a deep sense of well-being and puts us in touch with spirit.

8. Sing, listen to music or watch a film. To feel emotions sometimes it’s easier to be one step removed from them. Watching a sad movie or listening to a sad song might help when grief is too hard to touch directly.

Sometimes there’s nothing to do but cry. These acts of love can help little hearts find a little rest.

Nurture wonder. Find magic. Seek beauty and experience more awe. To mark loss and love is work for us all and helps us restore respect and connection with Mother Earth.

Lindsay Coulter is a dedicated mother of two, naturalist, community catalyst, soul activist, mentor, writer and horse lover. Find her @SaneAction on Instagram and Facebook.

She’s also the Director of Communications, Culture and Community of EPIC Learning Centre, a forest and nature school in Victoria, BC.

April/May 2021 23

APRIL/MAYFAMILYCALENDAR For more information and calendar updates throughout the month visit IslandParent.ca

V P W

Victoria & Area Peninsula Westshore

CV Cowichan Valley N Nanaimo & Area CX Comox Valley

PR Pacific Rim G Gulf Islands O Online

APRIL

1 THURSDAY Esquimalt Farmer’s Market

2 FRIDAY TO 5 MONDAY V Easter Book Hunt

8 THURSDAY CX Healthy Boundaries

4:30–7:30pm, Bullen Field A community farmers market committed to healthy and local living, relationship building, and environmental sustainability. (Weekly until Sept.) esquimaltmarket.com

Sea + Cedar Call for Submissions

4pm, Robert Ostler Park Put on your super-seeker goggles and find ONE of 50 specially marked “Egg Tags” hidden around the library courtyard and in Ostler (pirate) park.

Bring the “Egg Tag” to the library before April 15 and redeem it for a book of your choice.

O virl.bc.ca

The Vancouver Island Regional Library (VIRL) is currently seeking submissions of short fiction, creative non-fiction, poetry and artwork for the first issue of our new serial digital publication, Sea & Cedar Magazine. The submission deadline to have your work considered for our Summer Issue (July 2021) is May 15. (Recurring.) virl.bc.ca

7 WEDNESDAY Dads with Dads

V

6:30–8:30pm, 1UP Single Parent Resource Centre (weekly) Join this 6-week, in-person course. Due to COVID restrictions, the courses will have 5 participants and 1 facilitator to enable social distancing. singleparentvictoria.ca

16 FRIDAY

Opening: Orcas, Our Shared Future V 10am–6pm, Royal BC Museum (ongoing)

6:30–8:30pm, Centennial United Church A weekly drop in group designed to offer support and community to men in the process of exploring father related concerns. (Weekly.) singleparentvictoria.ca

V

Dive deep into the stories and science that surround the magnificent orca, spirit of BC’s wild coast and apex predator of all oceans. royalbcmuseum.bc.ca

SUMMER FUN FOR EVERYONE!

Offering programs in Leadership, Science, Technology, Sports, Outdoor Ed, Robotics, Art, Cooking, Sewing and Business! www.smus.ca/summercamps 24 Island Parent Magazine

IslandParent.ca

18 SUNDAY Family Sunday

V

2–4pm, Art Gallery of Greater Victoria Enjoy an afternoon of exploring hands-on artmaking and ideas for all ages. This recurring program is Oct-June and features special guests like storytellers, artists, performers or musicians. aggv.ca

MAY

2 SUNDAY Woodgrove Mother’s Day Market

N

10am–3pm, Woodgrove Shopping Centre An outdoor shopping event where you’ll find all your favourite artisans in one place. 100’s of unique locally made gift ideas. Located out front of Woodgrove Shopping Centre in the parking lot. woodgrovecentre.com

6 THURSDAY Social Media Awareness, Digital Citizenship & Cyberbullying

O

7pm, online Parents lead the charge as a digital role model.

Help your child develop a strong digital citizenship foundation while reminding them that their digital tattoo reflects their real and online selves.

A snapshot of current trends and concerning apps will be provided to equip you in your digital parenting strategy. speacsocialmedia.eventbrite.ca

8 SATURDAY & 9 SUNDAY Sarah Beckett Memorial Run

O

6am Saturday – 6pm Sunday The 2021 Sarah Beckett Memorial Run has gone virtual! This means you can participate in the walk or run any place you want. Outside on a trail or even in the comfort of your own home on a treadmill. sarahbeckettmemorialrun.com

Science & Nature summer camps

V

2–4pm, Art Gallery of Greater Victoria Enjoy an afternoon of exploring hands-on artmaking and ideas for all ages. This recurring program is Oct–June and features special guests like storytellers, artists, performers or musicians. aggv.ca

IslandParent.ca

Registration is Open!

July-Aug 2021 Summer Camps!

Campers will explore the life of pollinators, shoreline plants, inter-tidal species and coastal birds, practice their discovery skills, expression of gratitude, and respect for self and others through play!

We are excited to offer week-long camps in July and August as well as one day camps on August 3th, 4th and 5th. We incorporate COVID-19 advisories into our programming and daily routines to ensure a safe and fun experience for all campers!

16 SUNDAY Family Sunday

MARK YOUR CALENDAR!

Five day Summer camp $240 Register at: www.cowichanestuary.ca or email: camps@cowichanestuary.ca

April/May 2021 25

Motherhood A

s children, we see our mothers through rose-coloured lenses.

They’re that wonderful combination of softness and warmth combined with wisdom and a steely strength. They’re the ones who whisper endearments to us in the middle of the night to ward off night terrors or patch up scraped knees and elbows with ease or remove a splinter or two with the expertise of a surgeon.

They somehow anticipate every one of our needs and seem to have an answer for every question. By far, they are our greatest teachers as well as our greatest advocates.

As children grow, mothers become our confidants, providing advice and guidance through the often-murky waters known as adolescence. During these 26 Island Parent Magazine

tumultuous years, they can always be counted on to have our backs. Even when many teenagers invariably end up chafing at the maternal bond in their quest for independence, they know a mother’s commitment is always there, steadfast and unwavering. After all, mothers are in it for the long haul.

It is this selfless devotion of motherhood that is so admirable. Maybe it’s simply hard-wired into us through evolution in order to ensure the survival of our species, or maybe it’s the fact that we have far fewer offspring these days so we must invest heavily in them, but I tend to see it that children are an extension of ourselves. They are by far the greatest thing we will do in this life.

Certainly, mothers aren’t in it for the

thanks we get, that’s for sure. Most of us are lucky if we get a quick hug on the fly or a “thanks, mom” tossed over the shoulder. But that’s okay. None of us are in it for the adulation. Our reward comes years later when our children turn to us in their hour of need or share the joys of their own children with us. Being included and invited into their adult lives is the best reward.

It’s not until we make that journey into parenthood ourselves that we can truly understand and appreciate our mothers.

This hit home with me when I was shopping for a Mother’s Day card for my own mother a number of years ago. At first, I was engrossed in my own search for the perfect card—not one with any cheesy sentiment, or a lame sing-song rhyme or IslandParent.ca

the inadequate one-liner, but something special, something heartfelt.

After several minutes, I gradually became aware of a middle-aged couple standing beside me who were also on the same quest. The wife kept showing her husband different cards, but he rebuffed each one with a sarcastic or critical remark or a dismissive wave of the hand.

Finally, he found one of his own choosing and headed up to the cashier. As the woman replaced the card she had been holding, she gave me a sad smile and said quietly, “I wish I still had a mom to buy a card for.”

My heart went out to her and I smiled back in sympathy, but I really had no true appreciation of her comment until my own mother passed away on the day after Mother’s Day in 2017.

Now I am left to contemplate all the things I wish I’d said to her, the truly important things like I’m sorry I caused you sorrow as a result some of my choices, and thank you for always putting your children first and supporting me during the darkest times in my life. I wish I had told her of the esteem in which I held her quiet, gentle nature, how she never had an unkind word for anyone, how much I wished I could be more like her.

In hindsight, I realize I never got the chance to ask her things such: as did she have any regrets? Was there a pivotal moment in her life? Was there anything she would have done differently? Those sorts of questions that a daughter doesn’t think to ask her mother, except when it’s too late. What I wouldn’t give for just one precious hour together with my mother, to sit down with her and hold her hand and ask her all these things—to get to know her as a person, not just as my mother.

In thinking about the definition of motherhood, I naturally call to mind my own mother—someone who loves you unconditionally, would bear any burden for you, and would go to the ends of the earth for your happiness.

Susan Gnucci is a local author and a proud “nonna” to two adorable grandsons. She enjoys sharing her experiences as a grandparent.

IslandParent.ca

April/May 2021 27

W H AT’ SF O R D I N N E R

Sheet Pan Dinners I love sheet pan dinners. They’re my go-to whenever I don’t have the energy to think about what to cook for dinner.

Here’s why they are so perfect for a no-fuss and healthy meal: There’s not a lot of food prep and they can mostly be done in advance.

Everything cooks in the oven, so I don’t have to think about them once they’re in there.

My kids love oven roasted vegetables, so they’re an easy way to get kids to eat more vegetables.

Here are three simple sheet pan dinners that kids tend to love—perfect for when you could use a bit of extra time and don’t want to fuss over the stove.

Sheet Pan Potato Hash

(Prep time 15 minutes; bake time 20 minutes) Sheet pan potato hash is probably officially a breakfast item, but we like breakfast for dinner! It’s packed full of vegetables and protein.

It's also perfect for using up whatever you have in the fridge. Replace the mushrooms and sweet potato with grated carrots or cauliflower.

Replace the kale with spinach, chard or coloured peppers. Really anything works.

3 large potatoes 1 sweet potato 5 mushrooms 1 onion 3 cloves of garlic 1 bunch of kale 4 piece of bacon (optional) 1⁄4 cup of oil 1 Tbsp smoky paprika 1 tsp thyme 1 tsp oregano 1 tsp salt and ground black pepper, to taste 4 eggs Preheat the oven to 450˚F. Grate the potatoes, sweet potato and mushrooms. Dice the onion and garlic. Wash the kale and tear the leaves into bite-sized pieces.

Chop the bacon, if using, into tiny pieces.

Toss everything together with the olive oil. Add in the paprika, thyme, oregano, salt and pepper. Spread it out on a rimmed baking sheet.

Bake for 20–30 minutes until everything is cooked and the potatoes are starting to brown. Toss halfway through to ensure even browning.

Serve with eggs cooked in your favourite style.

28 Island Parent Magazine

Baked Gnocchi

(Prep time 10 minutes; bake time 20 minutes) The beauty of this meal is that the gnocchi doesn’t have to be boiled in advance. The roasted vegetables form the sauce for a delicious pasta dinner that doesn’t require any effort to prepare.

20 cherry tomatoes 1 red pepper 1 yellow pepper 1 small onion 4 cloves of garlic 1 package of uncooked potato gnocchi (500g) 1⁄4 cup of olive oil 1⁄2 tsp dried basil 1⁄2 tsp dried oregano 1⁄2 tsp salt Grated Parmesan cheese Preheat the oven to 400˚F. Slice the cherry tomatoes in half. Chop the coloured peppers into bite-sized pieces. Slice the onion into bite-sized pieces, and finely diced the garlic.

Place the gnocchi and the vegetables into the centre of a rimmed baking sheet. Pour over the olive oil. Sprinkling on the herbs and salt. Toss everything so that it is fully coated, and spread it evenly over the baking sheet.

Roast in the oven for 20–30 minutes, tossing once during the baking time.

Serve with a bit more olive oil and freshly grated Parmesan cheese.

IslandParent.ca

JUNIOR GOLF CAMPS Cauliflower and Potatoes (Total time 25 minutes)

Crispy baked potatoes and cauliflower are like a healthy version of fries. Serve this dinner with your favourite dipping sauces for a fun and veg-packed meal.

6 to 8 Italian sausages or 2 packages of tempeh (about 400g total) 2 potatoes 1 sweet potato 1 head of cauliflower 2 Tbsp olive oil 2 cloves of garlic 1⁄2 tsp salt and black pepper, to taste Preheat the oven to 400˚F. Slice the sausages into 2cm thick rounds. Or for a vegan-friendly dinner, chop tempeh into 2cm cubes. You want them to be big enough to pick up and dip.

Chop the potatoes and sweet potatoes into French fry sized sticks about 1 cm thick. You don’t want them too fat as they won’t cook quickly enough.

Cut the cauliflower into 2-bite-sized florets. The stalk is also edible, so don’t waste it! Chop it into French fry-sized sticks.

Toss everything, except the garlic onto a rimmed sheet pan. Drizzle with the olive oil and toss to combine. Pop it in the oven for 20 minutes.

Meanwhile, finely dice the garlic. After 20 minutes, take the sheet pan out of the oven, toss everything and add the garlic, salt and pepper. Bake for another 10 minutes. The dinner is ready when the vegetables are browning and the sausages are cooked through.

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Emillie Parrish writes from Victoria and Saturna Island. She is the author of the Pacific Northwest lifestyle blog BerriesAndBarnacles.com.

IslandParent.ca

April/May 2021 29

K I DS ’ R E A DS

Dealing with Differences

A

s more and more individuals are vaccinated across the province, it can be easy to hope for things to return to normal soon so we can visit with friends, see our extended families, or go to the movies. However, some researchers are concerned that after living in our abnormal world for so long, we might struggle with some of the activities we are longing to do, like socializing with the people we like or interacting with others around us. If you’re noticing that your formerly social butterfly of a child is now a homebody that’s normal, and here are a few books that might help them relearn how to enjoy the outside world.

The first one is Follow Your Breath! A First Book of Mindfulness by Scot Ritchie (Kids Can Press, 2020). As the title says, this book teaches children mindfulness strategies. It is beautifully illustrated and the activities the author suggests are all clearly explained so you can easily try them out for yourself.

However, the actual story about the friends at a sleepover isn’t the most exciting or interesting, so if you are looking for a story that weaves mindfulness into the narrative this one isn’t for you. However, if you want a book that will teach you at a child-appropriate level what mindfulness looks like, that also gives you examples of what that may look like in your life, this book can be helpful. For ages 4 to 8.

Another book for you to consider is Albert’s Quiet Quest

by Isabelle Arsenault (Tundra, 2019), because while we want our children to enjoy others’ company, it’s also important for us to respect their desire to be alone and have some quiet time to help them cope with chaos. In this book, Albert is looking for a quiet place to read his book. He finds a nice peaceful corner outside and sets up a chair in front of a painting of a

beach scene that has been thrown away. Unfortunately for him, no one else wants to be quiet. They all want to play, talk, and listen to music. And, they all want him to join in. The illustrations in this book are simple but stunning and they show Albert’s mind as it flips between his reality and the imaginary beach world he has created for himself. For ages 4 to 8.

A third book for you to read is The Invisible Bear by Cécile Metzger (Tundra, 2020). Unlike in Albert’s Quest where Albert wants his world to conform to his wishes for quiet, the bear is uncomfortable in his quiet and colourless world. He feels like he has been forgotten and that he’s invisible. That all changes

when Madame Odette moves in next door. Unlike the bear, Madame Odette lives in a world filled with colour and sound.

But, since the bear has been surrounded by quiet for so long, he’s not really comfortable with the beautiful racket. As the two of them live side-by-side they both have to learn to live together and cherish the other ones silence or sounds. For ages 4 to 8.

Your House, My House by Marianne Dubuc (Kids Can Press, 2020) is another book filled with detailed illustrations that can remind your children that not everyone lives like you. This book follows the story of Little Rabbit as he gets ready for his birthday party. But while the narrative only tells the story from Little Rabbit’s perspective, the illustrations show us what everyone in the apartment building is doing, from the mice triplets who are causing havoc, to Mr. Owl who just wants to nap, to Goldilocks who is looking for a good place to eat and sleep. As an added bonus, the story itself is easy enough that your emerging reader can read this book on their own, which is good because they might want to spend more time looking at each page than you are ready for. For ages 4 to 8.

A final book for younger children that can remind them that not all families are like theirs is Peppa Pig and the Family Reunion (Candlewick, 2019). In this book Peppa’s extended fam30 Island Parent Magazine

IslandParent.ca

ily comes over for a family reunion, and while they are there, Peppa discovers that in order for her baby cousin to sleep, his father needs to vacuum and his mother plays the trumpet, which makes for a very long and noisy night. For ages 2 to 4.

If you and your children are struggling with getting along with others after spending so much time apart, I hope the lessons, illustrations, and stories within these books can help you because spending time with friends is amazing.

IslandParent.ca

Christina Van Starkenburg lives in Victoria with her husband, children and cat.

She is the author of One Tiny Turtle: A Story You Can Colour and many articles. To read more of her work and learn about her upcoming books visit christinavanstarkenburg.com. Facebook: facebook.com/christinavanstarkenburg and Twitter: @Christina_VanS.

April/May 2021 31

M O M ’ S P OV

BYTE

CAMP

Creative Tech a mp s S u mm e r C

Video Game Design

Thinking Putty

I

place my tray of tea on my side desk in my home office. All three kids are off to school on time (which is no easy feat). All parents deserve a reward for surviving the morning chaos (I mean routine). I sit down and tuck my rubberducky-slipper-feet under my desk. As I adjust my footing, my slipper sticks to my carpet. I pull and free my foot, but my slipper is glued to the carpet.

Ugh. Found it!

I have found my 7-year-old son’s Crazy Aarons Thinking Putty. It bounced into my office the day before.

I thought he had already bounced it back out. I also thought that the putty wouldn’t end up being played with before falling asleep, but our strict “putty at the kitchen table only” rule was ignored.

This thinking putty has thought its way onto my pillowcase, it has thought its way through two sheet sets and two

numerous times while playing with it.

I could handle the slime. My oldest daughter is the queen of making slime and even getting it out of fabric and carpet with contact solution or ice cubes. I can handle the kids making messes. We bake buns from scratch and we play with oobleck (cornstarch and water). However, this putty is different. It seems to embed itself and bond forever with our clothing and bedding.

To figure out how to remove the putty, I visited the website. The solution: Isopropyl Alcohol 99%. It is poisonous and flammable and the instructions indicate that you “Apply full strength to affected areas and rub in.” The label suggests that it will provide temporary relief of muscle aches. In our age of natural oils and using the least harmful substances, there is no way I would rub a poisonous and flammable substance on my skin. So I put

bedspreads. It has thought its sparkly blue way onto numerous articles of clothing, into hair, and now onto carpet. I am about ready for it to think its way right out of our house.

It’s called thinking putty because it is marketed to act as a fidgeting toy to help you think. It can help people focus and help people with anxiety. However, I think in my son’s case, it should be called “sleeping putty” as he has fallen asleep

on my rubber gloves and I placed all the putty stained items in to the tub.

I poured the rubbing alcohol on and then I used a butter knife to scrape the putty. The fumes were worse than cleaning up vomit. I think a facemask and a well-ventilated area should be required too. I aired out the house and turned on all our fans. Next, I soaked and rinsed the items in water numerous times.

After the putty and alcohol smell dissi-

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32 Island Parent Magazine

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pated, I used some stain remover to try to remove the evidence of where the slime was. Next, I placed them in the wash with an extra rinse cycle. I air dried the items for a few hours and then I used a low setting on the dryer, while I crossed my fingers that the dryer and our house would not blow up.

The clothing and all our appliances remained intact. I think the type of fabric and how long the putty sits on it influences the stain removal. Some items may need another round of stain removal and a wash yet. I think my white linen pillow will always have the putty outline. However, my office carpet only has a few sparkles left to lint roller off.

Perhaps, the Easter bunny or Santa can bring us more putty after all. When the putty goes astray again, I’ll be prepared to remove it from unwanted surfaces.

worksAD full-time as a Technical ST. MARGARET’S SCHOOL – ISLAND PARENTSerena HALFBeck PAGE Writer. She loves to write, travel and swim at the 7” × 4.5” 03/31/21 beach with family and friends.

SHE CAN. Dream big.

As the only all-girls school on Vancouver Island, St. Margaret’s School teaches girls to learn, lead, and grow.

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enrolment@stmarg.ca

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April/May 2021 33

Easter Eggsperiments Eggs aren’t just for breakfast…they can be fun and fascinating too! Try your hand at a few “eggs-periments” that highlight the unique properties of the amazing egg.

The Spin Test Materials A raw egg. A hard-boiled or hard-cooked egg. A flat surface on which to spin.

Whichever egg spins better (smoothly without wobbling) is the hard-boiled egg.

For a neat variation, spin them both again then stop them.

Quickly release them and watch the raw egg. It should continue moving even though the hard-boiled egg has completely stopped.

Explanation. The yolk and white in a raw egg slosh around unevenly as it spins, making it impossible to spin it smoothly while the solid yolk and white in the hard-boiled egg enable the egg to spin smoothly.

The raw egg will continue to move even after you have stopped it and then let go of it because the liquid inside is still moving around.

Fun with Naked Eggs Method. Spin the raw egg and the hard-boiled egg at the same time on a large flat surface.

Materials At least 2 naked eggs. 2 clear cups large enough to hold an egg plus some liquid. Corn syrup. Water. Food colouring. A spoon or ladle.

June 28th to 30th & July 2nd (4 days) “Mad Scientist” July 5th to 9th (5 days) “World Explorers” July 12th to 16th (5 days) “Goin’ Green” July 19th to 23rd (5 days) “Wacky & Wonderful”

Active Arts Camps

Join us for a summer of creative, active fun! Exciting camps will engage children in music, art, crafts and lots of fun and games. v New activities to explore every week v Outdoor fun every day v Field trips to local parks Camps for age groups 3 to 5 and 6 to 9

July 26th to 30th (5 days) “Action & Adventure” August 3rd to 6th (4 days) “Magic & Monsters” August 9th to 13th (5 days) “The World at Our Fingertips”

Register Online at: www.ArtsCalibre.ca For more information: summercamps@ArtsCalibre.ca 250.382.3533 34 Island Parent Magazine

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• Market Day – Weekly Food Support • Free Clothing Room • 1-1 Counselling & Coaching • Support Groups & Courses Em ail:This Call (250) 384-3267, email: stagesdance@shaw.ca, es sta geJuly sdance Running & August @s m ha w. ca i , Running Thisus July August t or visit at&www.stagesdance.com | 1-Up.ca or visit us at e s e 250-385-1114 l& h s e u t im ww t f w. sta e ge sd s e an h e ce .com u g r gh th Throu e careful & ro be ca there h b s ’ e T t r e le out th t’s d out k in d Put Method. a naked egg into one of the cups and addl eenough Naked Eggs kin

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corn syrup to cover the egg.

Put another naked egg into another cup and add enough wa- Materials ter to cover it and a few drops of food colouring.

A raw egg. White vinegar. A container big enough to submerge Callboth (250)cups 384-3267, stagesdance@shaw.ca,or visit us atfor www.stagesdance.com Put into the refrigerator 24 hours. the egg. A spoon or ladle.

Email: stagesdance@shaw.ca, Afterorthe you should have one nice and plump egg visit24 ushours at in www.stagesdance.com the water and one shriveled and flabby egg in the corn syrup. Method. Place the egg in the container so that it does not touch the sides and add enough vinegar to cover the egg. You will Explanation. The membrane of the naked egg is selectively already see bubbles forming on the egg. permeable–it lets some molecules through and blocks others.

Cover the container and put it in the fridge for 24 hours.

Water (mixed with food colouring) moves through the memAfter the 24 hours have elapsed, scoop the egg out of the brane easily but bigger molecules (like sugar molecules in the vinegar being careful not to break it. Dump out the vinegar and corn syrup) don’t. cover the egg with fresh vinegar. Leave the egg in the fridge for In the corn syrup cup, the water molecules from the egg another 24 hours. white (which is 90 per cent water) have moved through the Scoop out the egg and rinse carefully. Throw away any bromembrane to the corn syrup (25 per cent water) causing the ken eggs. naked egg to shrivel and go limp.

You should now have a translucent egg without a shell. It is being held together by its membrane which while flex if you squeeze it.

From The Canada Agriculture and Food Museum and Ingenium. For more ideas, visit ingeniumcanada.org/online-resources-forscience-at-home.

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Explanation. The acetic acid in the vinegar breaks apart the calcium carbonate crystals that make up the egg shell into separate calcium and carbonate parts. The calcium parts float while the carbonate makes the bubbles that you see.

April/May 2021 35

PRESCHOOL&CHILDCAREDIRECTORY v Comprehensive programs for Preschool through Grade 11 v Delivering academic excellence through music, dance, drama and visual arts v Outstanding educators, locations and facilities

La Pré-Maternelle Appletree Preschool................250-479-0292 French immersion preschool. Group child care programs. 30 months to school age.

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Castleview Child Care........... 250-595-5355 Learning Through Play & Discovery.

Licensed non-profit, ECE staff. Since 1958.

Morning or full-time care. castleviewchildcarecentre.com

Christ Church Cathedral Childcare & Jr. Kindergarten..................250-383-5132 ECE and specialist teachers provide an outstanding all day licensed program for 2.5–5 year olds at our Fairfield and Gordon Head locations. cathedralschool.ca

Nightingale Preschool & Junior Kindergarten Ltd........ 250-595-7544 We offer education through creativity and play, providing rich learning experiences through a well sourced and stimulating indoor and outdoor environment. Early years reading programme. nightingalepreschool.com.

Arts/Drama programme. kidsworks.ca

Photo: Annilee Jane

Educational Excellence to the Glory of God

Sir James Douglas Preschool.............................250-389-0500 Fun, creative and educational ECE program for 3-5 year olds to grow and develop life long skills. Come play and learn in our bright and modern centre in Fairfield. sjdoutofschoolclub.com

Cloverdale Child Care............250-995-1766 Come join us in our preschool programs for fun and learning. Classes 9:30 to 1:30, we offer 3 and 4 year old classes and a Mon to Fri multiage preschool class. Flexible schedule available. Located at Quadra and Cloverdale streets. cloverdalechildcare@shawbiz.ca

Ready Set Grow Preschool.....250-472-1530 Join our learning through play preschool located in Hillcrest Elem. Our caring ECEs offer an enriched Program for 3-4 hour, 2-5 days a week and help with kindergarten transition. heoscmanager@gmail.com

Victoria Montessori.............. 250-380-0534 Unique, innovative learning environment combining the best of Montessori and Learning Through Play. Open year round.

30mths–K. victoriamontessori.com

Island Kids Academy Esquimalt..............................250-381-2929 High quality child care (ages 1-5). Enriched Curriculum. Includes Music Classes and Character Development using the Virtues Project. Wait list being taken. Islandkids.ca

St. Margaret’s School Jr. Kindergarten

36 Island Parent Magazine

Pre-School Junior Kindergarten PacificChristian.ca 250-479-4532

Apply now for our Early Learning (JK and Kindergarten) Programs. Early learning at SMS is a curriculum-based program for 3 and 4 year olds.

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722 Johnson St,Victoria,BC

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We implement a play-based curriculum where our trained professionals develop and adapt individual programs by observing and listening to your child.

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Victoria & Area

Peninsula

Carrot Seed Preschool...........250-658-2331 Where children can discover, imagine, construct and learn through play.

Wondrous natural playground. carrotseedpreschool.com

Westshore

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The first steps in your child’s education Call for more information today: 250.746.3654

Island Montessori House....... 250-592-4411 Inclusive, integrated and nurturing Preschool and Before/After School Care programs.

Lovely rural setting with a focus on nature and outdoor environmental activities. islandmontessori.com

Queen Margaret’s School........250-746-4185 Early Childhood Education Program. Co-ed nurturing curriculum to develop the whole child. Healthy snacks and lunch provided. qms.bc.ca.

Sidney Preschool We are a licensed co-operative preschool with a philosophy of learning through play!

Four hour program, four days per week, for children ages 2.5-5 years. Celebrating 49 years! sidneypreschoolteacher@gmail.com, sidneypreschool.com

Sunrise Waldorf School Preschool...............................250-743-7253 In a warm environment, this nature and play-based program enlivens and nurtures the growing child. sunrisewaldorfschool.org Photo: Chelsea Rumsby

• Licensed programs, for children 3–5 years • Flexible part-time schedules • Supported spaces available • 3 and 4 hour morning classes Encouraging your child’s development and learning through play and exploration

Junior Kindergarten to Grade 12

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Island Kids Academy View Royal........................... 250-727-2929 High quality child care (ages 1-5). Enriched Curriculum. Includes Music Classes and Character Development using the Virtues Project. Wait list being taken. Islandkids.ca Photo: Chelsea Rumsby

Little Star Children’s Centre...........250-752-4554 Little Gems Infant & Toddler Care..250-228-5437 Mother, Daughter owned and operated. Earth friendly preschool education inspired by nature. Infused with fun and creative daily yoga practices! Licensed group care. Enthusiastic ECE instructors. littlestardaycare.ca

Nestled on 4 acres of lush west coast forest, our Award winning, Nature based program will not disappoint!

While firmly embracing the Reggio-Emila (Italy) Philosophy our dedicated team of educators use the environment as the third teacher as we encourage your child throughout their day.

Our purpose built facilities have been handmade using the trees from our forest. Come take a virtual tour on our website!

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Waitlist: 250-590-3603 Programs for Infants/Toddlers/Pre-school Age. BC Award of Excellence in Childcare & Prime Minister’s Award of Excellence in Early Childhood Education.

IslandParent.ca

April/May 2021 37

CUTITOUT!

Growing a Self

I

t can be a shock when our children start asserting themselves as they struggle to become independent. A child who was sweet and cooperative one day can suddenly become downright defiant, resistant and even aggressive the next. And just when we think they have had enough of us, they seek comfort and reassurance.

Maturing is not a one-way street. Kids need permission to individuate, and they need a sense of love and belonging, no matter how prickly they get along the way.

When kids resist doing anything you want them to do, like getting in the car seat, eating a meal or just having a conversation, chances are, they are going through the struggle for independence.

The one day you are in a hurry, the threeyear-old will insist on putting on their shoes. “I can do it myself!” And heaven help you if you suggest your child do something. “I was just going to do that until you asked!”

Hold on to your heart when you go to hug your teen, and they pull away with that blank look. Ouch! They seem so allergic to you. “My friends are the only cool people!”

Behind this stage is the need for autonomy and independence. Stifling this need interferes with the development of your child’s ability to differentiate. A high degree of differentiation contributes to healthy adult relationships and good boundaries. They can hear no and say no. They don’t sacrifice themselves to fit in and are less concerned about what people think of them.

Emotional maturity provides calm thoughtfulness that can be brought to life and relationship problems.

When you dig underneath the difficulties and see what is going on, you will be more likely to respond with emotional maturity yourself. Less intensity of feel-

ing and finding your calmness will allow you to love and let go.

What to do:

• Minimize your rules and stick to the ones that matter.

• Give them more choices and say less.

• Reflect their feelings of frustration and their need for independence.

• In the heat of the moment, breathe and deal with things later.

• Ignore the verbal flack; correcting it doesn’t work; it only feeds a negative loop.

• See this as a stage rather than a character flaw; it really will pass.

• Don’t take things so seriously; a little humour can help.

Dr. Allison Rees is a parent educator, counsellor and coach at LIFE Seminars (Living in Families Effectively), lifeseminars.com.

EXHIBITION OPEN

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rbcm.ca/orcas Exhibition produced by the Royal BC Museum in partnership with MuseumsPartner.

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Camps will have increased time spent outside this year with health & safety protocols in place. Campers will use PISE’s track, outdoor training areas, the nearby park and more!

More than half of all children in one-parent families in BC live in poverty.

(Stat. Canada, 2018)

Here’s how 1Up Victoria Single Parent Resource Centre is helping: To stretch a monthly budget a little further we have: • Free Clothing Room • Market Day – Weekly Food Support • Birthday Gifts for Children

To provide additional support and resources we have: • Moms and Mentors Program • Dads with Dads Drop-in Support Group • Parenting and LifeSkill’s Courses • 1-1 Counselling and Coaching sessions

These and other FREE services are open to ALL single parents in Greater Victoria who are caring for children at home ages 0–18.

Learn how to DONATE Learn how to ACCESS our services

250-385-1114 | 1-Up.ca