Island Parent December 2020 / January 2021 by Island Parent Group

DEC 2020 / JAN 2021

Vancouver Islandâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Parenting Resource for 33 Years

Top Toys How to Celebrate the Small Things

3 Tips to Reduce Stress

my great

al community virTU s Get Connected, Get Inspired, Get Funded Looking for inspiration to make your neighbourhood even better?

Join us for a free lunch and learn this winter! The Great Disconnect Documentary and Discussion

Wednesday, December 9, noon- 1:30 Learn about the health and social impacts of loneliness and the value of neighbourhood connections. Followed by a Q&A with the Director and Victoria’s own Dr. Trevor Hancock.

Engaging Your Neighbours

Wednesday, January 20, noon-1:30 Got a great idea to improve your neighbourhood, but not sure how to get feedback and support from your neighbours? Join this panel to get tips from City engagement staff and community groups who have recently engaged their neighbours in the process of applying for City funding.

The Power of Community Art

Wednesday, February 17, noon- 1:30

Join our Arts, Culture and Event team and community art organizations to learn about what’s possible when thinking about getting more art popping up in your neighbourhood.

Already have an idea to improve your neighbourhood? Apply for a My Great Neighbourhood Grant of up to $5,000 for a project and $1,000 for an activity.

2 Island Parent Magazine

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Photo Contest

Submit your favourite photos and they may be featured in an upcoming issue. Random photos will be selected for mystery prizes! Email

photos@islandparent.ca or submit through Instagram or Facebook.

GRAND Digital Subscription

and you could win a selection of children’s books sent to your grandchild every month (3-month subscription) courtesy of Marmalade Books.

Every month they will receive recently published books appropriate to their age. These books have been curated by a trusted children’s bookseller. Marmalade Books is a monthly book subscription company located in Victoria for children aged 0–12.

Subscribe now at

grandmag.ca IslandParent.ca

December 2020 / January 2021 3

In Every Issue 5

Fast Forward SUE FAST

TA B L E O F C O N T E N T S

Need to Know

Kids’ Reads CHRISTINA VAN STARKENBURG

Features

Dadspeak GREG PRATT

What’s for Dinner

EMILLIE PARRISH

How to Celebrate the Small Things

Moms’ POV

Take time to reset your creativity, positivity and gratitude “buttons” over the holidays.

SERENA BECK

Happy Families, Healthy Families

DR. JILLIAN ROBERTS

ALISON LOVE

Nature Notes

From Pound Puppies to Blockitecture Mega Sets, this year’s Top Toys will keep kids creative for months to come.

Preschool & Child Care Directory

Top Toys

Cut It Out! DR. ALLISON REES

Tantrums & Language Learning How miscommunications can be at the root of tantrums more often than you might think. DR. CARLA HUDSON KAM

3 Tips to Reduce Stress

How to stay cool, calm and collected. DR. RAZAN KHAN

Holiday Happenings

On the Cover Alistair Remy V (2) & Oliver V (7) Photo by Nicky-jay Vanjecek Bluetree Photography instagram.com/ bluetreephotography

DEC 2020 / JAN 2021

Vancouver Island’s Parenting Resource for 33 Years

Top Toys How to Celebrate the Small Things

4 Island Parent Magazine

3 Tips to Reduce Stress

Jim Schneider Publisher publisher@islandparent.ca Sue Fast Editor editor@islandparent.ca Kristine Wickheim Account Manager kristine@islandparent.ca RaeLeigh Buchanan Account Manager raeleigh@islandparent.ca Island Parent Magazine, published by Island Parent Group Enterprises Ltd., is a bimonthly publication that honours and supports parents by providing information on resources and businesses for Vancouver Island families. Views expressed are not necessarily those of the publisher. No material herein may be reproduced without the permission of the publisher. Island Parent is distributed free in selected areas. Annual mail subscriptions (7 issues) are available for $21 (GST included). Canadian Publication Mail Product Sales Agreement 40051398. ISSN 0838-5505.

Island Parent Magazine

250-388-6905 islandparent.ca

518 Caselton Place, Victoria, BC V8Z 7Y5 A proud member of

BC IslandParent.ca

If Life Is an Etch A Sketch… 2020 turned it upside down and gave it a good, hard shake

t’s doubtful that any of us is sad to say goodbye to 2020. It’s been a year filled with twists, turns, ups, downs, zigs and zags and it’s finally coming to an end. That’s not to say it’s been all bad. As parents it’s been tough, for sure. Kids home 24/7. Schools closed, reopened, closed then opened again. Homeschooling and online learning. Staying healthy, staying sane, and staying socially connected—from a distance. Calming fears, or trying to, in an uncertain and scary time. But amidst it all have been the small special moments: acts of kindness, more unscheduled time together, lazy days, unrushed family dinners, more time outdoors, playing games, reading lots and starting new hobbies. Skies are bluer, personal hygiene’s improved, streets are quieter, and even the dolphins—if you believe the Facebook myths—have returned to the canals in Venice.

All of that aside, this year has sharpened the focus on what truly matters: our children, our families, our friends and each other. And it’s taught us that small gestures can have a huge impact. The holiday season is the perfect time to pause after making it through the past year and to celebrate (in place!) with the small gestures that mean so much. Set up holiday decorations. Trim a tree outdoors for all to see. Create an advent calendar filled with activities leading up to Christmas day. Spread some joy by dropping off treats to friends, neighbours or at a local senior’s centre. As 2021 approaches, take a minute to remember what matters most. Hopefully hugs, playdates, coffee with a friend, big family get togethers, visiting grandparents, travelling, summer camp and sleepovers will be the “new normal.” Season’s Greetings & Happy New Year.

22002201

Give Wonder!

975 Fort Street,Victoria BC - 250-595-4905 - motheringtouch.ca IslandParent.ca

December 2020 / January 2021 5

N E E DTO KN OW

Socially-Distant Santa Photos If you had photos booked and found out Santa had to go back to the North Pole, Nicole Israel Photography has got you covered! Send your photo to Nicole at info@ nicoleisraelphotography.com and she will put it in an image with Santa. COVID-friendly, a great Christmas gift and 50 per cent of all proceeds go to CFAX Santas Anonymous (cfaxsantas. com) to grant Christmas wishes for kids in our community. nicoleisraelphotography.square.site

Ask

AI Santa @

Thanks to AskSanta.com, kids can have a free real-time video conversation with Artificial Intelligence (AI) Santa, now through the new year. StoryFile, the AI startup, brings Santa Claus home this holiday season. The COVID-19 pandemic is preventing hundreds of thousands of children from meeting Santa in person, but Ask Santa has a solution. StoryFile, the natural language processor and cloud-based interactive conversational video platform, has created the worldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s first AI Santa. This personal experience with Santa will bring holiday cheer to those near and far, pushing past the challenges of social distancing. Sign up and visit Santa at asksanta.com.

A Christmas Carol Blue Bridge Theatre has suspended the sale of tickets to live performances until at least December 8, but will continue selling streamed tickets to A Christmas Carol. This wonderful story, starring Sanjay Talwar, is an unforgettable experience for all this holiday season. Even if you are not a fan of streamed theatre, consider buying tickets to this show to help support live theatre. For tickets, visit bbrt.sales.ticketsearch.com. 6â&#x20AC;&#x192; Island Parent Magazine

IslandParent.ca

Prose for the Pandemic

BC Transit’s

Santa Bus is coming to town! December 11 & 12 } Ride free } Holiday decorations and music For Santa Bus routes and schedules, visit bctransit.com

Stuff the Bus for Charity! December 19 D 9:00 a.m.– L Ep.m. L3:00 E C CAN Save-On-Foods, Tillicum Centre Donations benefit the Stan Hagen Centre for Families and The Mustard Seed

Recognizing the challenges this year’s holiday season will bring, A.H. Edelman was inspired to write Santa in a Snow Globe, an illustrated children’s book to offer parents, caregivers, and children a starting point to talk about life’s new realities—explained by Santa—complete with timeless advice, inclusive illustrations, and a big dose of Christmas cheer. Going beyond mask-wearing and social distancing, Santa in a Snow Globe also touches on issues the world is facing today, including climate change and protests— all while sharing a positive message of hope and the importance of appreciating the simpler things in life.

Transit Info 250·382·6161

bctransit.com

The Kiddies Store Dedicated to providing Vancouver Island families with high-quality infant and toddler products at affordable prices for over 25 years Bamboo is incredibly soft and breathable, for comfort in any temperature. It absorbs and evaporates humidity better than any other fabric, and is hypoallergenic.

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Finlayson St.

St.

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Now Offering Curb-Side Pickups Current Hours: Tues–Sat 10am–5pm Douglas

Remember to Smile is a children’s picture book for kids ages 2–6 years old describes and illustrates the different styles of masks, characters that wear them, when you can wear them, and interesting ways to use them. Colorful and funny illustrations bring the book to life and will have kids giggling on the floor. Remember to Smile proudly supports the COVID-19 Relief Fund (for Teachers and Students) through the non-profit organization AdoptAClassroom.org. Visit remembertosmile.org.

The gentle stretchy knit bamboo has a silky smooth feel that will keep your little ones cozy and cool. There are a variety of colours and styles from sleep sacks to blankets to clothing.

Larch St.

Entrance off Larch St.

T.J.’s

December 2020 / January 2021 7

#kids2030

Kids Code Jeunesse (KCJ) is challenging you to take a look at the world, and take action to make it better. In 2015, all of the countries in the United Nations set 17 Goals to build a better world by 2030—they’re called the Sustainable Development Goals, or SDGs for short. We’ve got 10 years left and we all have a part to play to move towards these goals and create a better future—for everyone. This year’s challenge: Preventing Plastic Pollution. You have until March 26, 2021 to complete the challenge. To find out more, visit kids2030challenge.org.

Spread Some Holiday Cheer! Crispy Square Reindeer MadeGood Vanilla Crispy Squares Candy-coated chocolate, such as Smarties or M&M’s Melted milk chocolate Resealable bag and/or piping bag Lollipop or craft sticks Carefully insert the lollipop or craft sticks at the top of each MadeGood Vanilla Crispy Square. Fill a resealable plastic bag or piping bag with melted chocolate. Cut a small hold in the corner. Carefully draw antlers from the midpoint of the Crispy Square to the top edge. Add a small dot of melted chocolate where you’d like to place the nose and eyes, and place candy coated chocolate (such as M&M’s or Smarties) on top.

Light Up the City The Greater Victoria Festival Society’s (GVFS) “Light Up The City,” runs through January 3, 2021. Drive through one of the drop off events, happening every Saturday at various locations, and donate non-perishable food, new toys and cash for local food banks, Salvation Army, and toy banks. Drive through events will feature Santa and Mrs. Claus, convoy trucks aglow, music, and more to enjoy—safely from your vehicle. Masks required. GVFS is also bringing back the Christmas Lighting Contest for homes, businesses and more, with prizes for the top three. For locations, dates and times and more information, visit gvfs.ca. 8 Island Parent Magazine

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How to Choose Good Video Games • Think about children’s interests when looking for games. Do they like sports, fantasy or strategy-style games? • Talk to other parents for advice and suggestions of good games. • Find games that have the appropriate Entertainment Software Rating Board (esrb.org) rating for your child’s age. Keep in mind that the ratings are guidelines and that every child is different. Even games with the “Everyone” rating may contain content that some children find frightening. As well as the ratings and descriptors that appear on game boxes, parents can read summaries of game content, including warnings about unrated user-generated content, by browsing the ESRB website. • Look for games that are challenging and exciting without being violent. Video game manufacturers create vio-

lent games to satisfy children’s need to feel powerful and in control. Try to find games that offer kids thrills and the chance to experience control in a non-violent way. • Find games that require strategy and problem-solving skills. If they have an educational component, that’s a bonus. • Look for games that have strong, non-sexualized female characters. • If possible, try the game first by borrowing or renting it. Ask for an instore demo and make sure you can return the game if you are not satisfied with the content. • Look for games that involve two players, to encourage cooperative play and to make game-playing a social activity. From Media Smarts: Canada’s Centre for Digital & Media Literacy, mediasmarts.ca.

In-Pers On-Lin on & e Optio ns

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las o l C .. o h els. -S c Pre tle ang e lit t im Day or the f

STAGES Performing Arts School since 1980

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• Offering classes for Teens & Pre-Teens in Jazz, Ballet, Lyrical, Tap. Musical Theatre, Acrobatics & Hip Hop, in a non-competitive atmosphere. • Not sure which class to take? - Try a Drop-In: No hassle, No Obligation. STAGES Performing Arts School

#301 1551 Cedar Hill X Rd Call 250-384-3267 Email us at: stagesdance@shaw.ca Or visit our website: www.stagesdance.com IslandParent.ca

December 2020 / January 2021 9

How to Celebrate the Small Things T

here’s no doubt that 2020’s holiday season will look different than in years past. Not only are we doing our best to stay healthy during a global pandemic, we’re also dealing with all of COVID-19’s cascading effects. The good news is—this is the time to reset your creativity, positivity, and gratitude “buttons.” It’s more important than ever this year to appreciate the small things in life that make it magical.

Create a safe space for emotions

Though we don’t want to be hyperfocused on what we’re missing out on this year, it’s equally important not to pretend everything is okay and normal. Nurture a psychologically-safe environment at home. Remind your kids that it’s okay to feel their feelings and create a nonjudgmental space where they feel free to come to you for support. Help them learn to cope with disappointment and sadness by encouraging them to talk it out—then validate their feelings, give them time and space to acknowledge them, and then shift their energy to something else—put on some fun music, dig through the costume box, or play a game. Help them transition from a negative mindset into a positive one.

Find and focus on the upside

Do you usually travel over the holidays? If so, embrace the extra time you now have at home to connect as a family in ways you normally wouldn’t be able to. Involve your kids in the planning— ask them what they’re loving about being home more and what they’d like to do during their break from school. If dressing in “fancier” clothes for holiday dinner or family photos is normally a request your children detest, maybe this year allow them to wear whatever they want—or have a holiday costume theme!

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Invent new traditions

As some family traditions may not be possible this year, involve your children in creating new ones. Make sure they can easily transition with you into future years. Test out a baking recipe that you normally wouldn’t have, make holiday decorations or crafts, or pick a movie loved by all to watch every year. Don’t forget to honour your pre-existing traditions too, but in new ways. Putting a fun spin on them brings a sense of familiarity and normality into the season.

Plan ahead

Though it may seem counterintuitive to plan ahead when you might not actually be going anywhere or hosting anyone, remember that the holiday season can get stressful—fast. Even if you’re not travelling across the country, you still need to set your family up for success. Chances are, you’ll spend more time indoors at home together than you’re used to in years past so make sure to have a list of ready-to-go activities for the younger members of your family. No one likes hearing the dreaded, “I’m bored!” If you’re planning on making a special meal for your holiday celebration, plan these in advance and involve the littles. Engage them in the planning, shopping, and execution—a well-planned meal will be much more enjoyable for everyone than one that wasn’t. This is a better year than ever to let your kids have fun and experiment with you in the kitchen when perhaps the timing isn’t as important.

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December 2020 / January 2021 11

Get outside as much as you can Here on Vancouver Island we’re pretty lucky not to have the harsh winters much of our country experiences each year. Don’t take those sunny, crisp winter days for granted—encourage your kids to run around and play while you sip a much-needed cozy drink. If you do live in a colder climate, take extra care to be outdoors when you can—if possible, invest in warmer clothing and outdoor play gear. If we’re lucky enough to get some snow, find a sledding hill or throw around snowballs as a family. Use whatever opportunities you can to incorporate joy, physical activity, and fresh air into your days.

Don’t abandon your healthy habits

During the holiday season it can feel like there are no rules. Parents tend to be lenient with themselves and their kids around this time, but coupled with an unpredictable global pandemic, overindulging and neglecting your healthy habits is a slippery slope. Stick to the routines that nourish your mind and body, balancing relaxation with indulging in moderation.

Nurture your own relationships

In a full household, quality time on your own may be harder to come by this winter. Schedule in and commit to your alone time—this might just be before the kids wake or after they go to bed. As a parent, making sure you’re getting time to do what you want and need to do is essential for creating a positive holiday experience for everyone. On the other hand, if you’re a single co-parent, reach out to other loved ones if you start to feel lonely or isolated on days your kids are with their other parent. If you have a partner, ensure you’re scheduling one-on-one time with them. Regular and dedicated quality time with your household co-pilot is just as important for nurturing a happy, loving home. It’s no secret that we often unintentionally take out our stress on our partners, making it even more essential to reconnect on a regular basis. This could look like phone-free time together after the kids go to bed, or aligning their screen time with your morning coffee together.

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Go with the flow

Rule number one for this holiday season: be flexible. Celebrations aren’t going to look the same as last year—and that’s okay. Maybe this year, our festivities include a virtual baking party with Grandma, or an ongoing messaging thread with extended family sharing photos of your smaller celebrations. Just because we’re physically apart doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy quality time together. Adjust your expectations as needed to stay realistic and avoid further disappointments during an already difficult time. Finally, be gentle and understanding with yourself and your family members. While there are many positives to smaller activities, our world is also coping with immense stress and trauma. Give yourself and others grace during this time and remember that some things you simply cannot control. Focus on the positive and what’s most important—quality time with your loved ones (whether it’s virtual or from a safe distance).

LIGHTS, STAGE, ACTION!

Large studio space, small class sizes! Acting, Film, Improv, Playwriting and more! Classes for home learners, after-school and online learners.

250-386-7526 | schooladmin@skam.ca | skam.ca

Dr. Jillian Roberts is a child psychologist, UVic professor and mother. She is the CEO and Founder of FamilySparks and the author of Kids, Sex and Screens: Raising Strong, Resilient Children in the Sexualized Digital Age. Images: Unsplash.com IslandParent.ca

December 2020 / January 2021 13

Top Toys

Island Parent’s curated list of this year’s top toys guarantees that your kids will have more fun with the toys inside the boxes than the boxes themselves! Oioiooi Alphabet Play Block Set

This beautiful alphabet play block set helps promote creative learning. Each letter has corresponding shapes for kids to find and match as they learn the alphabet. Whether for decoration, storytelling, or learning, these blocks are easily heirloom toys with their timeless beech and walnut wood design.

Trigonos Family

This construction set from Trigonos comes with fabric as one of construction materials. It has wood blocks and sticks as other construction kits, but the fabric adds unique design elements to the final results. The scales of this construction encourage kids to work as a team to build cool structures for fun.

Aurora Erasable Markers

Create negative space and your own unique designs with 8 erasable markers that have color on one end and a white tip on the other. Comes in red, pink, orange, yellow, lime, blue, green and purple.

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Cutetitos Pizzaitos

Cutetitos are now cheesier than ever, in brand new series 5 Pizzaitos. These super-soft, stuffed animals wrapped and hidden in a pizza blanket are ready to be unrolled and discovered. 12 new animalitos, are each wrapped in 1 of 4 pizza wraps: cheese, pepperoni, spicy, or Hawaiian pizza with ham and pineapple. From a Turtlito to a Poodlito and even a Ladybugito, each Cutetito Pizzaoitis is cuter than the next. A pet collector card is included with details on your new pet including its species, name, birthday and “hot spot” cheese-o-meter rating. Ages 3+

Care Bears Magic Interactive Figures

The Care Bears are great friends. Whether you’re feeling cheerful or grumpy, they are always by your side to make things better and keep you smiling. Your touch unlocks 50+ reactions and surprises. Care Bears can sing, tell jokes, share feelings, say funny phrases, move, and light up their signature

IslandParent.ca

belly badges by touching their paws, nose, or belly. Each includes a special Care Coin for collecting and sharing—perfect to give to a friend to show them how much you care or keep it as a reminder to yourself to always be caring and kind. Ages 4+

Lite-Brite Ultimate Classic

The most fun and nostalgic way to create art with light. New retro-inspired styling resembles the original Lite-Brite from the 80s and now features a bigger screen, brighter pegs, and more templates including six retro patterns. Just insert the pegs into the templates or freestyle an original design—then press the button to see the creation light-up in four different ways, from steady to blinking. With an updated stand on the back, kids can easily create and display their masterpieces…then turn off the lights for the ultimate effect. Ages 4+

IslandParent.ca

Little Bot Ofie Mats

This soft baby play mat is reversible, durable and developed with a keen eye for design. Little Bot play mats are easy to clean and vacuum safe. They complement your home life style and provide safe and comfortable space for families with little kids. The play mat is available in three neutral versions and comes double-sided for when you want to quickly change up the look of the playroom. Durable, non-toxic, cushy, easy to clean—what else could you ask for in a baby mat?

The Nugget

Part-furniture, part-toy, and all-around the best thing to happen to playtime since, well, ever. Kids love Nugget for its interplanetary possibilities, but parents love it for something else: saving space. It takes the place of dozens of trinkets and small toys, allowing for less cleanup and safer play. It also contributes to another important mission: saving the grown-up couch from certain destruction.

December 2020 / January 2021 15

Stuffed Animals by CozyMoss

These stuffed animals cannot be any cuter. Each one has its own name, image and story. CozyMoss also makes additional toy clothes. These beautiful whimsical dolls will develop kids’ imagination sand creativity in dress up and role play, and are sure to become their adventure companion and secrets keeper.

Blockitecture Garden City Mega Set

Build the world you want to see with Blockitecture, a set of architectural building blocks. Cantilever and nest hexagonal blocks to create towers, cities and dwellings. This set of blocks can be combined in endless ways to build your own miniature city. Also included are specialized blocks to add pavilions and gardens to your buildings.

Pound Puppies

The original Pound Puppies are back with new authentic reproductions that look and feel just like everyone remembers. Ready to be adopted and loved, there are a variety of puppies to choose from, with different facial and eye expressions, ear lengths and fur colors in an updated soft material. Each comes in a pet-carrier shaped package and includes a care sheet and official adoption papers. Ages 3+

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Moon Picnic Weather Station

Learn about weather with this fun and educational interactive toy. There are 4 movable parts and 5 weather symbols to display so little meteorologists can report and forecast the weather. Move the weather meter, turn the dials, slide the thermometer. It’s safely made with non-toxic paint and sustainable wood so you can feel good about gifting this, too.

Curious Kids Nature Guide

Filled with 100 beautifully accurate, colourful illustrations and interesting facts (did you know that baby raccoons are smaller than a bar of soap?)—this nature guide to the Pacific Northwest is perfect for any “Best Coast” explorer. Not only an awesome nature guide for kids, it’s also great for adults who want a quick introduction to the enchanting flora and fauna of the Pacific Northwest.

Kate & Levi Hand Puppets

Handmade using recycled and repurposed materials, every product is eco-friendly and one-of-a-kind. Not only is this process environmentally responsible, but it ensures that each animal is truly a one of a kind creation never to be duplicated. With every purchase you make you help send a child fighting cancer to camp so you can give and give back!

IslandParent.ca

CurliGirls

CurliGirls dolls feature MagiCurl hair that curls instantly when you pull it. There’s Bayli, the Birthday Girl; Charli, the Pop Star; and Hayli, the Ballerina. Collect them all and Express Your Curl Power. The longer you pull, the tighter the curl. Curl with your fingers, or easy styling tools, then accessorize with hair clips and beads. To change it up, dip hair in warm water and watch it magically straighten. Style and restyle over and over again. Ages 3+

TONKA Mud Rescue & Mighty Dump

With TONKA Micro Metals all of your favorite vehicles are now available in miniature. This line from TONKA offers all the rescue, construction and service vehicles in awesome micro sized metal versions. Each free-wheeling vehicle is built microsized, but TONKA tough. Also includes a Toolbox capsule to store your vehicles. The Tonka Steel Classics Mighty Dump Truck is built for hauling. This sturdy, steel construction vehicle is ready for the toughest loading jobs. Move the bed up and down to trigger its unloading action. Ages 3+

STEINVIK FARMS

Fresh Cut Christmas Trees OPEN DAILY

Sun–Thurs: 9am–7pm Fri & Sat: 9am–9pm

5204 Sooke Road steinvikfarms@shaw.ca 778-679-1114 IslandParent.ca

December 2020 / January 2021 17

Tantrums & Language Learning

18 Island Parent Magazine

“N

o! da yewo pwate!” screeched two-year-old Katie as she knocked the plate off the table, sending apple slices everywhere, crying so hard that she was gasping for air. Jules, her mom, was confused and frustrated by Katie’s behaviour. The apple had started out on a blue plate, but when

We see these tantrums as unreasonable responses from children who are tired or hungry or not feeling well and so can’t deal with their emotions. But Katie wasn’t sick or tired or hungry. And she had gotten exactly what she asked for. Or at least, that’s what her mother thought. It turned out that

Katie asked for the yellow one, Jules switched them, only to have it rejected when she put it down in front of her daughter. This scene is reminiscent of the tantrum videos popular on social media: the child who cries because a broken cracker can’t be fixed, or because they are told they can’t do something they didn’t actually want to do.

what Katie meant by ‘yewo pwate’ was a multi-coloured plate with no yellow on it at all. She had the wrong meaning for “yellow” in her mind. But from her perspective, she had communicated her wants to her mother, her mother had said she was going to give her what she wanted, and then she was given the wrong plate. To Katie, it seemed like her mother was one being unreasonable! IslandParent.ca

Miscommunications like this can be at the root of tantrums more often than you might think. Figuring out what words mean is hard, and words that don’t refer to concrete objects are especially tricky. To understand yellow, for instance, you have to understand that the person isn’t talking about the object, they are talking about a property of the object, a property that can look quite different on different objects (for example, a yellow banana is a different colour than a yellow bean). Words that refer to things that you can’t see at all, like “think” or “sad,” are even more difficult. In our house, the word “hungry” was the cause of a tantrum more than once. The word came up a lot as my son didn’t much like to eat—it got in the way of doing more interesting things. We could often tell he was hungry because of his mood, but when we said he was hungry and needed to eat, he would insist that he wasn’t. And he would get increasingly upset at us for saying it, sometimes to the point of a tantrum—which was of course, made more likely because of his hunger! Eventually I figured out that he didn’t understand what hungry meant and didn’t want to say he was something he might not be. When I explained that hungry meant having a grumbly sore tummy that wanted food he said “Oh, I feel like that a lot! I guess I do get hungry.” And with that, our tussles over “being hungry” ended. I should have recognized earlier that language was at the root of our “hungry” problem. After all, child language development is my specialization. But you can learn from my failing. Try to figure out what your child is trying to tell you. Tell them you don’t quite understand, but want to, and ask them to show you what they want if they can. On the other side of things, make sure that they understand what you are saying. They might think you mean something you don’t and that might be the issue. Sorting out a miscommunication might have to wait until after the tantrum ends when your child is calm and ready IslandParent.ca

to talk, but if you’re lucky, you can fix things before the tantrum starts. And if you’re not so lucky, the post-tantrum time is a perfect opportunity to help your child understand those especially tricky emotion words. You can explain what sad or mad or frustrated feel like, tell them that you feel those things sometimes too and what you do to deal with your own negative emotions.

It might take a while, but these conversations will help your child learn to deal with emotions without tantrums. And you’ll get a chance to see things from their perspective in the meantime. Carla Hudson Kam, PhD, is a Professor of Linguistics at the University of British Columbia.

WINTER STUDIO Get creative and stay connected to art and each other this winter! Join the AGGV Studio for a range of virtual offerings as well as private, in-person art classes. REGISTER TODAY AT:

aggv.ca/learn/aggv-studio 250.384.4171 or at 1040 Moss St

FOR MORE INFORMATION, PLEASE EMAIL:

aggv.ca

studio@aggv.ca

December 2020 / January 2021 19

K I DS ’ R E A DS

Tales About Winter Traditions

ver the winter holidays many families get together to decorate trees, light candles, and eat yummy foods. While many of us do the same thing, we each tend to put our own family spin on it that makes it uniquely ours. And this holiday season, in the midst of a pandemic, celebrations are bound to be even more unique than ever. Whatever you intend to do this break, the winter holidays are a great time to live out family traditions or create some new ones. Here are some books that share the author’s or character’s favourite traditions, maybe one or two of them will through until the sun is able to step forth make it into the books you read every renewed and refreshed. Maybe when you year around this time. read it with your family you can all join into shout “Welcome Yule” like all the Christmas Revels audience members. For all ages. Another book that encourages us to take a moment this winter to pause and reflect on the changing seasons around us is Goodbye Autumn, Hello Winter which is written and illustrated by Kenard Pak (Henry Holt and Co., 2017). This gorgeous book follows two children as they walk through the woods and their town to say hello to the animals, the pines, and the quiet night skies of winter and to say goodbye to the creatures, plants, and sounds of autumn. For ages 3 to 5.

What Grandma Built by Michelle Gilman and illustrated Jazmin Sasky (Harbour, 2013) is a book about families building their own traditions one year at a time, all because their grandma had a dream. She wanted to create a magical place for her family to enjoy for generations to come. The bright images help transform the mundane home into a castle where you can see the magic the Grandma’s children and grandchildren can see. As you read it, maybe you’ll see who you too are building your own castles without even realizing it. For ages 3 to 5. The fourth book is Houndsley and Catina Through the Seasons by James Howe and illustrated by Marie-Louise Gay (Candlewick Sparks, 2018). This collection of four books looks at the different traditions Houndsley and Catina have throughout the different seasons: canoeing in the spring, listening to the quiet of the winter, watching fireflies in the summer, and celebrating their birthdays in the fall. For ages 5 to 9. Another thing many of us do as the year changes from one to the next is we look back at the previous year and celebrate all we have accomplished. While some of our accomplishments are big,

The first book is The Shortest Day (Candlewick Press, 2019). This is a poem by Susan Cooper that is already part of many people’s holiday traditions. Every year, this poem is preformed live in nine different cities across the United States as part of the Christmas Revels. But now, Cooper has teamed up with Carson Ellis to illustrate the poem and share it with even more people. As you can probably guess from the title, The Shortest Day celebrates the shortest day of the year. Ellis’s illustrations beautifully bring this poem to life as you watch the tired, old sun lay down to sleep while the villagers gather candles and logs to create light the whole night 20 Island Parent Magazine

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they don’t have to be big to be celebrated as Teddy Bear of the Year by Vikki VanSickle and illustrated by Sydney Hanson (Tundra, 2020) demonstrates. This beautifully illustrated story is about a teddy bear named Ollie. Ollie loves being a teddy bear because he gets to listen to his girl Amena’s stories, cuddle with her at bedtime, and be there for her when she falls off her bike and scrapes her knee. None of what he does is truly heroic, but he doesn’t realize that until he’s invited to the Teddy Bear Picnic and bear after bear is given awards for hospital stays, surviving dog-nappings, and other brave adventures. And he wonders if he will even do anything worthy of celebration. For ages 3 to 5. As we come to the close of this year and the beginning of the new one, I hope you and your family are able to spend

some time living out the traditions you have created over the years. But if that isn’t possible, I hope you’re able to find a new way to honour those traditions a different way in our weird and mixed-up pandemic world. Christina Van Starkenburg is a freelance writer and mother of two. Despite all of the books that flow through the house for this column, her boys still have their favourites and she’s read them a million times. Christina finds it exciting every time something new catches their eye, and she loves to share those treasures with all of you.

Christ centered communities of learning…educating the “whole” child.

Island Catholic Schools

Registrations for 2021–22 being accepted.

Keeps Christ in Christmas! St. John Paul II School, Port Alberni Queen of Angels School, Duncan St. Joseph’s School, Victoria St. Patrick’s School, Victoria St. Andrew’s Regional High School, Victoria

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250-727-6893 www.cisdv.bc.ca December 2020 / January 2021 21

DA D S PE A K

The Takeaway from 2020 O

22 Island Parent Magazine

ne of the toughest things about homeschooling, at least for me as the parent who’s not actually DOING the homeschooling, is dealing with the people who feel it’s not the best choice for the kid, as if we’re depriving them of essential social lifesblood by not putting them in school. Now, with COVID-19 making a lot of parents homeschool, it’s been a bit satisfying to field a few “So, uh…how is this done?” questions.

are now at a point where they’re wanting to go back to school. So while everyone else is going the homeschool route, we’re actually looking into different schools again. What can I say? We’re one step ahead of the curve. Or maybe one step behind. Or maybe we’re all just flailing, making the best choices we can, changing, adapting, guessing, winging it. Speaking of winging it, how’s the Christmas season working out? It’s been a bit of a sideways year, clearly, and as

I mean, beyond that base-level bit of revenge-gratification, it’s interesting seeing such a shift towards interest (forced interest, mind you, but interest regardless) in homeschooling. I’m in support of this; I’ve been talking about how great homeschooling is for years. It’s not for everyone, certainly. But if you can and are able, it’s fantastic. Because nothing is ever easy, my kids

parents we struggle with facing this most expensive of seasons while perhaps facing a layoff due to COVID-19. No one wants to face a broke Christmas, and yet here we are, many parents getting hit hard by the continued economic fallout from the virus. It’s like we’re all fumbling in the dark, everyone nervously asking everyone, “So, uh… how is this done?” about everything. IslandParent.ca

So, how is it done? How can we possibly continue to be parents while schools are a zombie flick and Christmas is a mix of anxiety and depression because we’re suddenly in a huge recession, one we had no idea was coming last Christmas? How do we survive? I don’t know. With a sense of humour, I suppose. With a sense of community. With a strength that no one knew we had, even during our most difficult parenting moments. Let this thought be my Christmas gift to you: a time in the future where we’re all together again without worry of a virus, drinking a drink and laughing, kids doing their thing, world still turning, life still going on, all the little problems and dramas playing out like they always did before. Somehow, we tell ourselves they should matter less, but, screw it, we’re humans, they’ll still matter. And that will be great. Stressing over the parent-teacher interview is a lot better than stressing over a recession, stressing over a virus we can’t control. And we’re getting there. We’ll get there. It’s been a hell of a year. For parents—trying to navigate the line between explaining everything to our kids and keeping them blissfully sheltered. It’s been more trying than the years usually are, which is pretty trying in the first place, if we’re being honest. My daughter said it best: “It’s like we’re living in a Dear Canada book,” referencing the series of books she enjoys reading about Canadian history. And we are. We’re living in history, trying to be parents in a super sketchy 2020, a year that, yes, books will be written about and people 50 years from now will read, and they’ll think, man, that must have been tough. That’s the truth: it is tough. It’s interesting that we’re living through it, and while I know that doesn’t make the Christmas-finances stresses any easier, it’s... something. Look, we’re going to make it, and I’ll be writing this column next year, and maybe we can get together and have a drink and shake our heads and laugh. Our kids will get educated one way or another. And we’ll all make it through this, one way or another. Greg Pratt is the father of three children and a local journalist and editor. His writing has appeared in, among other places, Today’s Parent, Wired, Revolver and Douglas. IslandParent.ca

We are looking for Caregivers in the Greater Victoria Area.

We are looking for Caregivers in the Greater Victoria Area. Contact Michael Washington, Resource Recruitment | 250.544.1400 |www.niltuo.ca

KINDERGARTEN REGISTRATION

If your child was born in 2016, it’s time to register them for Kindergarten! Nature Kindergarten French Immersion Kindergarten

January 11–15, 2021 General Kindergarten Registration

January 25–29, 2021 All registration is online! For more information and to register visit

SD62.bc.ca

December 2020 / January 2021 23

W H AT’ SF O R D I N N E R

Connecting Through Food

or many of us this holiday season is going to be difficult. It is a year of keeping our distance, unable to touch those we feel closest to. While it was easy to pretend that everything was fine during the warm summer months, Thanksgiving was hard. And the winter is going to be even harder. Perhaps the most important family connection is sharing food. While it might not be possible to sit down to a shared meal this holiday season, it is still possible to connect over food. Here are a few ideas that my mother and I are considering trying this season. (She is a therapist who is frequently called into hospitals and care homes to deal with individuals in a crisis. While she wears PPE for all interactions she also is very careful about potential COVID exposures outside of work.) • Get take out coffee and go for a walk along the ocean. • Order individual take out meals and eat outside. • Cook a big turkey dinner and deliver portions to local family members. • Share a big family meal over Zoom. My mother-in-law’s care home has set up special computers for family Zoom meetings, which is great because she wouldn’t be able to figure it out on her own. • If your kids are squirrely at the dinner table, then have an appie hour on Zoom instead. Turn it into a fun event with a dance party or holiday quiz game. • Send homemade treats in a care package. It’s like a longdistance hug. • Give yourself a break. If it feels like too much to cook a big dinner, then just make spaghetti or ribollita (see the following below). As long as you serve it with some holiday music, your kids won’t notice that it’s not the usual turkey. Here are two holiday treats that are easy send in the mail, along with a simple and delicious recipe for ribollita. Turn on “Jingle Bells” and get your kids to help in the kitchen. It’s the best way to get into the holiday spirit! Emillie Parrish writes from Victoria and Saturna Island. She is the author of the Pacific Northwest lifestyle blog BerriesAndBarnacles.com. 24 Island Parent Magazine

Pfeffernusse (German Gingerbread) Pfeffernusse are deliciously spiced cookies that are fairly similar to gingerbread. They are ball shaped which means they are super simple to make and won’t break while shipping across the country. This recipe makes about 60 small cookies. Dry Ingredients 1 cup of flour 1⁄8 tsp baking soda 1 tsp ground cinnamon 1⁄4 tsp ground cloves 1⁄8 tsp black pepper Remaining Ingredients 1⁄4 cup of butter 3 Tbsp molasses 1⁄4 cup ground almond

tsp baking powder tsp salt 1⁄2 tsp ground cardamon 1⁄4 tsp ground nutmeg

1⁄4

1⁄8

cup of sugar 1 egg 1 tsp lemon zest

1⁄2

1. Mix the dry ingredients together in a large bowl. 2. Melt the butter. Stir in the sugar and molasses. 3. Beat the egg into the melted butter mixture, then add the ground almond and lemon zest. 4. Mix with the dry ingredients, kneading to form a smooth dough. 5. Cover the dough and refrigerate for 1 or 2 days to blend the flavours. 6. When you’re ready to bake, preheat the oven to 350˚F and grease 2 cookie sheets. 7. Either roll individual balls about 2 cm in diameter, or roll the dough into a long log and use a butter knife to slice off a cookie every 2 cm. 8. Bake the cookies for 12 to 14 minutes, until lightly browned. Let them cool slightly then roll the still-warm cookies in icing sugar (about 1⁄2 cup for the whole batch).

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Ribolita (Prep time: 15 minutes, Cook time: 30 minutes)

Christmas Tea I mailed bags of tea for my sister’s virtual baby shower this year. The bags are lightweight, flat and fit perfectly in an envelop. It’s also a great holiday treat for anyone who needs to stay away from sweets. The zest of 1 lemon and 1 orange 1 vanilla bean 100 g of tea (either black tea or rooibos) 1 tsp cinnamon 1⁄2 tsp ground cloves 1. Preheat the oven to 210˚F. 2. Zest the lemon and orange onto a small baking sheet. 3. Dry the zest in the oven for 20 minutes. 4. Split the vanilla bean lengthwise, then cut it into 1 cm sections. 5. Mix the dried zest, vanilla bean, tea and spices in a bowl. 6. Use a funnel to fill small packages of tea. 7. Brew for 5 minutes using 1 Tbsp of tea for 1 cup of water.

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This Tuscan tomato soup is rich and warming. It is traditionally served with croutons, but I prefer dipping slices of fresh bread. I recommend making a double batch because the leftovers are even more delicious. 2 tbsp olive oil 2 carrots 3 ribs of celery 4 cups of water 1 tbsp thyme 2 tsp sugar 14 oz can of chickpeas 4 Tbsp of grated Parmesan cheese

1 large onion 1 fennel bulb 28 oz can of chopped tomatoes 1 tbsp oregano 2 bay leaves 11⁄2 tsp salt, to taste 4 Tbsp of pesto

1. Chop the onion, carrots, celery and fennel into small, bite-sized pieces. 2. Heat the olive oil in a large soup pot. Saute the onions, until starting to soften, then add the rest of the vegetables and saute for another 2 minutes. 3. Add the canned tomatoes, water, herbs, sugar and salt. Bring everything to a boil. 4. Once it is boiling, reduce the heat and simmer for 20 minutes. 5. Drain and rinse the chickpeas. Then place them in a bowl and crush them slightly with the back of a rolling pin. Stir into the soup and cook for another 5 minutes. 6. Serve the soup with a spoonful of pesto and a sprinkle of grated Parmesan cheese.

December 2020 / January 2021 25

M O M ’ S P OV

Too Much Stuff

When clutter becomes a safety hazard

26 Island Parent Magazine

hold the tiny purple earring in between my thumb and index finger. It is the fourth time we have crossed paths this year. I want to save this earring from becoming an official lost item, destined for the junk drawer and eventually the garbage. I rack my brain and a visual comes. My oldest daughter’s large monster high doll: this is Elisabat’s earring.

Have I even made a dent? Will it ever look like any part of our house is organized and tidy? It is often clean, but not tidy. My husband grew up in a tidy house. I grew up in a tidy house, but our house is anything but tidy. It is a constant hurricane of stuff shoved in bins, bags to be sorted, bags to donate, next size up bins of my oldest daughter’s clothes for

I take the stairs two at a time, descending to the basement. I pull open the cedar chest that my father-in-law built. I pull dolls out one by one and reminisce over each one. Now that my daughter is nine, she never plays with dolls anymore. I played with dolls until age 12, but each to their own. I find Elisabat at the very bottom, pull her out and then push her earring back in her left ear. I sigh a satisfying relief of success. One item put away and only 100,000 more to go.

her little sister to wear one day. My kids’ rooms are tidy and they keep them that way because they like it. However, in order to maintain their level of tidy, the rest of the house becomes a dumping ground and it’s hard to find the time to deal with it. My youngest recently ran into my office and sliced her toe on a sheet of glass from a photo frame that has been propped up against my desk since August when I had to try to get a lizard out of IslandParent.ca

my office (it crawled under the screen on our back door). Thankfully, her toe was a bandage fix and not a stitches fix. This was our wake up call. We slowly started working as a family to put items in labelled bins and try to minimalize our amount of clutter and toys. The time must be made this winter. I have high hopes. Cooler and rainy days equals times to work inside. Our house has become a hazard. The junk and extra stuff must go. My friend has a great strategy, which is to help each other organize one person’s house and then the next person’s house. It’s always easier to get rid of someone else’s stuff. It’s great to do a purge once or twice a year. I admit that without many guests and no parties and family dinners this year, we have really let our house go. Another challenge, is to not get distracted. I can get a lot done when I’m home alone versus having three little helpers. It can be easy to go down the route of wanting to scrapbook when I find a set of pictures or for my kids to play when they find a long lost toy. Small goals are a great way to start. Before we know it, little by little, pile by pile, a few minutes of time here and there we’ll tackle our clutter shelf by shelf section by section. With Christmas coming, it is a great time to donate outgrown toys, so my kids can welcome in the new. It’s time to downsize, donate, and sell all our clutter. I think we’ll all feel satisfied when we can walk through our house from one end to the other and stay injury free. But first, I need to see if I can find the LEGO set that this tiny tire goes with. Serena Beck works full-time as a Technical Writer. She loves to write, travel and swim at the beach with family and friends. IslandParent.ca

Online Christmas Eve Family Service

Dec 24, 4:30 pm Nativity story—carols

firstmetvictoria.com/pages/live-stream

First Met United Church Quadra & Balmoral firstmetvictoria.com

Also online: Carols in the Candlelight— Dec 24, 7:30 pm Christmas Message—Dec 25, 11:00 am Sunday services—11:00 am

December 2020 / January 2021 27

H A PPYFA M I LI ES H E A LTH YFA M I LI ES

What to Know About Your Child’s Hearing

Healthy Families, Happy Families

Child, Youth & Family Public Health South Island Health Units

Esquimalt Gulf Islands

250-519-5311 250-539-3099

Peninsula Saanich Saltspring Island Sooke Victoria West Shore

250-544-2400 250-519-5100 250-538-4880 250-519-3487 250-388-2200 250-519-3490

(toll-free number for office in Saanichton)

earing in the first few years of life is essential for social, emotional, and cognitive development, and is critical for speech and language development. As a parent or caregiver, there are a few things you can look for when it comes to your child’s hearing. The hearing system starts to form around the 18th week of pregnancy, and continues until a baby is around 5 or 6 months of age. By about 22 to 24 weeks of pregnancy, a fetus starts to hear low-pitch sounds that are outside the womb, such as a dog barking. Later in the pregnancy, it can hear music, environmental noises, and voices. Some studies have shown that babies at birth recognize the patterns and sounds of their native language! After birth, a baby’s hearing continues to develop. The following milestones are useful when observing a baby or young child’s hearing. With older babies and toddlers, speech and language development can be a clue as to how a child is hearing.

Birth to 3 months

• Startles to loud sounds (coughing, door slamming) • Soothed by soft sounds (singing, familiar voice)

4–6 months

• • • • •

7–12 months

• Responds to their name and environmental sounds (e.g. phone ringing) • Turns head correctly to direction that sound is coming from • Knows common sayings (“bye-bye”) and words for common things (ball, cup) • Begins to respond to simple requests and questions (“Come here,”…“Where’s the toy?”) • Makes more babbling sounds • Pays attention when spoken to

12–18 months

• Starts using common and meaningful words and putting words together • Points to some body parts and pictures in books • Looks at your face when talking and listening to you • Follows one-step commands (“Show Daddy”) • Understands simple yes/no questions (“Are you hungry?”)

18–24 months

• • • •

2–3 years

• Asks questions and answers simple questions (“Where is the ball?”) • Follows two-step directions (“Get the cup and put it on the table”) • Says sentences of three or more words • Speech is understood by familiar listeners most of the time • Enjoys music, television, etc at a normal level • Responds to speech at a typical conversational level

Central Island Health Units

Duncan Ladysmith Lake Cowichan Nanaimo Nanaimo Princess Royal Parksville/Qualicum Port Alberni Tofino

250-709-3050 250-755-3342 250-749-6878 250-755-3342 250-739-5845 250-947-8242 250-731-1315 250-725-4020

North Island Health Units

Campbell River Courtenay Kyuquot Health Ctr ‘Namgis Health Ctr Port Hardy

250-850-2110 250-331-8520 250-332-5289 250-974-5522 250-902-6071

islandhealth.ca/our-locations/ health-unit-locations Changes with BC Medical Services Plan premiums mean that families eligible for partial payment of some medical services and access to some income-based programs now must apply for Supplementary Benefits through the Government of BC. Applications can be done online and take approximately 15 minutes. Families who previously qualified for MSP Premium Assistance should not need to re-apply if taxes are completed yearly. It is advised to confirm coverage before proceeding with treatment to avoid paying out of pocket.

For more information, visit gov.bc.ca/gov/ content/health/health-drug-coverage/msp/ bc-residents/benefits/services-covered-bymsp/supplementary-benefits

28 Island Parent Magazine

Turns eyes towards a sound or their name Responds to “no” and changes in tone of voice Begins to make different vocal noises (“ooh,” “ba-ba”) Gets scared by a loud voice or noise Enjoys toys that make noise (e.g. rattles)

Understands more words than they can say Asks simple questions (“What’s that?”) Takes turns in a conversation Says two words together (“More milk,”… “Mommy up”)

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There are many reasons why infants and children can have hearing loss. Temporary hearing loss can be caused by fluid in the middle ear (the space behind the eardrum), or wax build up in the ear canal. Most of the time, these resolve on their own or with medical help, and hearing returns to normal. Some causes of permanent hearing loss that is present from birth include: • Genetics (e.g. gene for hearing loss inherited from a parent, or a syndrome such as Pendred or Down Syndrome) • Cleft palate • Infection during pregnancy or delivery (e.g. cytomegalovirus) • Birth complications (e.g. lack of oxygen at birth) • Very low birth weight Some causes of permanent hearing loss that is acquired during childhood include: • Diseases (e.g. meningitis, mumps) • Some medications (e.g. chemotherapy) • Noise exposure Some hearing issues can develop even without risk factors. Middle ear infections are one of the most common health conditions of young children. More than 75 per cent of children experience at least one ear infection by age three. Signs younger children may show are tugging/ pulling at their ears, fussiness, changes in appetite and sleeping patterns, fever, fluid draining from the ear, and/or a noticeable change in hearing ability. It is important to protect little ears from loud noise exposure, which can cause permanent hearing damage. Be careful when choosing toys for young children. Some batterypowered toys for babies and toddlers can make sound loud enough to damage hearing, especially as young children may hold a toy close to their ear. Look for onoff switches and volume controls if the toy does create sound. With more time spent at home during Covid-19, many of us find ourselves using devices and watching movies with our children. It is important to model good listening behaviour for our children by keeping our televisions, sound systems, IslandParent.ca

and personal listening devices at a comfortable level. Talk to your children from a young age about protecting their ears. Wear hearing protection when using loud tools at home and when going to loud environments, such as sporting events or concerts. Get a pair of child-sized, noisereducing earmuffs that you can help your child put on when at loud events. Children may appear to have difficulty hearing when listening to someone wearing a mask. This may be normal, as speech can sound muffled through a mask and we cannot see someone’s mouth to get lipreading cues. However, if you feel that your child is having excessive difficulty, you should arrange for your child’s hearing to be tested. All babies born in BC get a newborn hearing screening shortly after birth as part of the BC Early Hearing Program. Babies on Vancouver Island who do not pass the first screening will be referred for a hearing assessment at an Island Health Hearing Clinic. Babies with risk factors

for hearing loss are also monitored at these clinics. Children on Vancouver Island will also get a hearing screening at school during their kindergarten year. Your child will receive further assessment at an Island Health Hearing Clinic if hearing is not within normal limits. Parents and caregivers are the best people to look for signs of hearing loss in their child. If you have any concern about your child’s hearing, arrange a hearing assessment through your physician or by contacting your local Island Health Hearing Clinic: Victoria 250-388-2250 West Shore 250-519-3490 Nanaimo 250-755-6269 Courtenay 250-331-8526 Alison Love, M.Sc., RAUD, RHIP, is an audiologist with the Vancouver Island Health Authority.

CHILD YOUT H & FAM I LY PUBLIC H EALT H

December 2020 / January 2021 29

3 Tips to Reduce Stress Pandemic life with the whole family

hese days, life is anything but normal. It feels like no one ever leaves the house because of COVID-19. Living in a multi-generational South Asian home, the kids are running around, and the parents are ranting about something. It comes to a point where your stress level at home is so high that you want to run an errand just to escape to the silence of your car. That and you need a break from the classical music your parents have on repeat. They say it reminds them of back home but right now, it reminds you how much you’d rather not hear it ever again. Take a deep breath and turn up “Years In The Making” by Arkells—it’s going to be okay. Now, it’s one thing to be home with your kids during a school break and your parents are living with you, too, but this whole pandemic life has really turned an innocent break into a lengthy television-worthy drama. The only thing is, it’s real life and there isn’t a remote to turn it off. Stress is actually a reaction to a situation; it isn’t about the actual situation. This means there are ways to help yourself reduce stress at home. While the pandemic probably isn’t a permanent thing, the way you live your life is going to change for the time being. Even though everyone is around you 24/7, there are ways to make sure you keep yourself mentally fit and level-headed. It’s up to you to take care of the stress you’re feeling because you’re the one who can actually do something about it.

30 Island Parent Magazine

3 tips to keep you cool, calm, and collected: 1. Make time to get some fresh air and exercise. Playing a quick game of basketball outdoors can be refreshing for everyone in your family. The gym may be closed but outside isn’t! Exercise doesn’t have to be lifting weights and running on the treadmill until you sweat ladoo drops. How about you be your own Serge Ibaka and play some driveway b-ball? Fresh air paired with activity is a recipe for better health. That in turn reduces stress and improves mental health. The best part about outdoor activities is that you can do it alone or you can include your family so everyone can get a chance to destress. The Build Your Best Day tool, by Participaction, is a great way to find awesome ideas on how to get you and your family moving. Dupatta waving in the wind, beards in the breeze, and kids smiling—get that fresh air flow going! 2. Having a new routine is essential. Creating a new routine is easier than you think. Just start writing things down that need to get done and soon you’ll have a list of things that need to be scheduled for the week. Even if you can avoid Zoom video calls and roam around in a mismatched kurta and pajama (no judgement here) that doesn’t mean you need to let your schedule get too comfort-

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s Em ail:This Call (250) 384-3267, email: stagesdance@shaw.ca, sta geJuly Want sdance Running &@s August m eto know more? Contact us at: haw.ca, i Running This July & August t or visit us at www.stagesdance.com e osmfencing@outlook.com or 778-679-4953 or visit us at hes ful & t im e s ww t w. sta e ge sd s an h e ce .com u g th e are l& rough

Com c o er e Dan Thr t’s be ut th le nd o c W e ki ith U Come Dance s With Us 50) 384-3267, fu Th e care le t ’ s b u t t h e r e k in d o able. Without an already defined schedule, you and your family

I know this is a lot to ask but hear me out. No one is going have less to do and more to argue about. to understand why you do what you do unless you tell them Papa’s coffee shop circle no longer meets up for 3 hours evwhy it’s important to you. Sure, they might leave you alone ery morning. Now you get to hear all about the “completely while you’re on a work call, but not everything is that cut and Call (250) 384-3267, stagesdance@shaw.ca,or us attheories www.stagesdance.com authentic and legitimate”visit WhatsApp out there about dried. You may be used to taking a lunch break alone at work Email: stagesdance@shaw.ca, COVID-19 miracle neem powder tinctures. Yeah, you’re with your favourite podcast, but does Mummy know that? or visitand us at not the only one, trust me! Probably not. I mean, she tells people you work “in computwww.stagesdance.com Creating a family calendar with a schedule can really help ers” even though you work in logistics management for a comeveryone have a sense of responsibility and action for each day. puter company. Good effort, but still wrong Mummy. Maybe find ways to connect your dad to his friends over a vidOpen communication is one way to make sure everyone uneo chat in the morning so he can sip his chai on the back deck derstands each other’s needs. It’s really important to let people while you’re finishing up your 9 a.m. team huddle. in your family know why you need to listen to your favourite Ask your kids to help with a specific chore around the house podcast or why “alone time” is essential in helping you deeach day. Your spouse will really thank you and you can thank compress and chill out for a bit. Don’t assume your family will me later for that pro tip! While you’re at it, ask your spouse understand why certain things are important to you unless you how you can make their day easier. They’ll be happier betell them why. cause you want to schedule some quiet time for them, and it Remember, you’re not alone in this and you’re doing the best will make you feel at ease because it’s one less thing someone you can with what you’ve got. It’s okay to feel whatever you’re may argue about. It’s important to check on what your family feeling as long as you do something productive to get you back would like to get done if you want them to respect what’s on to your best self! your agenda for the day. 3. Tell your family what you’re doing and why it’s important to you. Relaxing at home can be effective if your family understands how important it is to you. IslandParent.ca

Dr. Razan Khan is a Toronto-based pharmacist with experiences in numerous settings caring for diverse patient populations, both in Canada and the United States. For more information, visit dontchangemuch.ca. December 2020 / January 2021 31

N ATU R E N OTES

Place-based Learning & Traditions

e’ve all experienced the power of place, the moments when we’re immersed in the world around us and what’s happening there. This type of experience can have a lasting impact. As we transition from fall to winter, Sierra Club BC challenges you to connect deeper to place by reflecting on your experiences in nature and taking action to show respect and reciprocity in your relationships with the natural places in your life. Place-based learning—the act of immersing into local heritage, cultures, landscapes, opportunities and experiences—can happen in any environment from urban to rural and anywhere in between. Engaging in community and nature close to home helps to put down roots and strengthen your connection to the world directly around you and your family.

opportunity to take your families outside to explore the signs of the winter. Identifying a nature space near your home and returning every few days or even every week allows your children to observe the changes taking place in the environment and gives them a set time in a familiar nature place to look forward to. Introduce these nature connection practices the next time you are at your local park, forest, backyard, schoolyard or walkways. These place-based traditions leverage local places as a learning ecosystem. Through this approach, you and your family begin to develop an understanding of communities and your role in impacting and improving local places. Taking time to build your family’s connections with nature can move beyond nature connection practices and into specific actions during the winter season that will build reciprocity and respect into your family’s relationships with the natural world. Share with your children the things you do to care for the environment during the holiday season.

Ideas for being a steward for the natural world this winter:

The WSÁNEĆ calendar has 13 moons that each mark changes in environment and daily activities, the WSÁNEĆ (Saanich) People use these changing moons to guide their seasons. This season belongs to the “NINENE—Moon of the Child,” which celebrates youthful energy and new beginnings. For the WSÁNEĆ People and in many other cultures, winter marks a time for storytelling. So, it’s no coincidence, that the NINENE moon focuses on sharing teachings with young people through storytelling and tradition to pass long winter days. The practice of storytelling is an engaging way to share lessons and connect with people and place in meaningful ways. Share and reflect on the nature experiences you and your family have had throughout the year and strengthen your place-based connections through storytelling. Giving children the opportunity to share their own nature stories can solidify these experiences in their memory and build connections to the outdoor spaces they visit. Storytelling is also an exciting way to bring the outdoors into your home. Prompt your children with questions to get them going. You might be surprised to hear their answers! What stands out in your child’s mind can be a helpful guide for planning future activities. Gather your family and create a space for sharing and listening. And try some favourite storytelling prompts at the end of this article. As our environment transforms during the winter, this is an 32 Island Parent Magazine

• Make holiday gifts out of recycled or reused materials (rather than buying highly packaged gifts). • Use newspaper or other reused packaging as gift wrap. Add a decorative touch with paint or markers. • Buy and gift local products. Winter markets are a great way to track down cool local products. Get creative with meal planning. Focus on buying food products that are local and in season. This winter, we hope that engaging in meaningful reflection on our place in the environment continues to strengthen you and your family’s relationship with place. A strong connection to nature can help secure respect and reciprocity with the natural world.

Storytelling prompts:

• What’s your favourite outside place and why? • If you could be a being in nature other than a human, what would you be? • When you go outside, which of your senses are you most thankful to have? • If you could experience any new part of nature, which one would you choose? Why? • What part of nature are you most thankful for? Why? • Tell me about a gift that nature has given you. Tell me about a gift that you could give nature. Read more about The Saanich (WSÁNEĆ) Year, including activity sheets: sites.google.com/sd63.bc.ca/sd63indigenoused/ saanich-moons. For more free resources and activities: sierraclub.bc.ca/onlineclassroom. Sierra Club BC works to support people stewarding abundant ecosystems and a stable climate, while building resilient, equitable communities. sierraclub.bc.ca. IslandParent.ca

Winter Programs From art classes to engineering—and everything in between—our community offers an array of programs, resources and services for families. To find out what’s available, read on. (For more details on the following listings, please refer to the ads in this issue of Island Parent). Art Gallery of Greater Victoria Get creative and stay connected to art and each other this winter! Join the AGGV Studio for a range of virtual offerings as well as private, in-person art classes. aggv.ca

First Met United Church

Join us for our traditional family Christmas Eve Service. We’re a little different this year—because of the covid pandemic we are presenting our service online through our Livestream and YouTube pages. But we think you’ll still enjoy it. We will also present our traditional Carols in the Candlelight service at 7:30pm and a special Christmas morning message “We Have Seen His Glory,” Dec. 25, at 11am—again via Livestream and YouTube. firstmetvictoria.com

through our Learning Portal or book one of our Outreach Kits. royalbcmuseum. bc.ca

St. Margaret’s School

that they turn five. 2021/22 Registration: French Immersion and Nature Kindergarten, January 11-15; Regular Kindergarten, January 25-29. sd62.bc.ca

It’s time to register for Kindergarten! Visit stmarg.ca and take a virtual tour and learn about the all-girls advantage. Our elementary school program is a small, family-like community where teachers develop strong relationships with their students and their families. Classroom activities are designed to extend stu-

Stages

dents’ natural curiosity and actively engage them in the learning process. Apply online at stmarg.ca.

Theatre SKAM

Since 1980 STAGES has held a tradition of providing dancers of all ages and levels of experience the very best training possible in a a supportive, noncompetitive and caring environment. For more information please visit us at stagesdance.com.

Kaleidoscope

As the premier school for young actors in Victoria, Kaleidoscope focuses on a single mission: training the best and brightest students to become highly skilled, confident and well-rounded young performers. Kaleidoscope’s programs nurture young performers’ creativity and build skills that benefit them on the stage and in everyday life. Registration is now open for classes beginning January 2021! Discover our programs at kaleidoscope.bc.ca.

Quadratic Sound

Children aged 7-14 dive into the basics of engineering with a teammate and use LEGO® construction kits to build and program exciting interactive machines that move, react and make sounds! Covid protocols in place. quadraticsound.com

Royal BC Museum

The Royal BC Museum is a place for Sooke Schools 62 exploration, learning and play—for visiAll SD62 elementary schools offer full tors of all ages. Engage with us through day Kindergarten for our youngest learnour Digital Fieldtrips and online programs ers. Kindergarten students will begin school in the September of the year IslandParent.ca

Theatre SKAM’s School of Performing Arts offers a variety of professional film and performance classes/camps for homelearners, children, youth and teens year-round. Winter registration is now open! skam.ca

December 2020 / January 2021 33

H OLI DAYH A PPEN I N GS

The 29th Annual Festival of Trees

The Bay Centre will be transformed into a lush forest of beautifully decorated trees to raise funds for BC Children’s Hospital Foundation, all thanks to sponsors, local businesses, organizations and individuals. Guests can bring their loved ones, marvel in the magic of Victoria’s community spirit and vote for their favourite tree until January 5, 2021. Your support will help provide the best care imaginable for sick and injured kids from across the province, including the 3,300 kids from Vancouver Island who visit BC Children’s Hospital each year for specialized care they often can’t get anywhere else. Visit bcchf.ca/event/ festival-of-trees.

Light Up the City

The Greater Victoria Festival Society is hosting the “Light Up The City” campaign every Saturday when you can drop off donations at a set of drive-through events in the ‘core’ municipalities of Greater Victoria until January 3, 2021. Non-perishable food, new toys, and cash donations will help support local food banks, Salvation Army, and Toy Banks. Drive-through events will have Santa and Mrs. Claus on hand, Convoy trucks aglow, music, and more to enjoy as you drive through and drop off your donations. Social distancing practices will be in place at all drop-off locations. A new Christmas lighting competition welcomes entries in five separate categories: homes, apartment/condos, local businesses, community organizations and First Nations communities. The five winners receive a prize worth more than $1,000 and 15 prizes in all are up for grabs. Entrants must email photos of their displays, along with their street address. To enter and for more dates, times and drop off locations, visit gvfs.ca.

December 4: The Q’s Feed the Need, Mayfair Mall, corner of Blanshard and Finlayson; 6am-9pm

December 5: The Bay Centre Lower Guest Services, 1-6pm; masks mandatory; Charity: Mustard Seed Food Bank and CFax Santa’s Anonymous Dodd’s Furniture and Mattress, 4900 Uplands Drive, Nanaimo; 10am-2pm; Charity: Salvation Army—wave to Santa from a safe social distance! Sunbelt Rentals, 2994 Jacklin Road, Langford; 402 Garbally Road, Victoria; 10115 McDonald Park Road, Sidney; 9am-3pm Fan Tan Home and Style, 541 Fisgard Street ; 10am-3pm

December 6: Esquimalt Recreation Centre Parking Lot, next to Water/Adventure park, 3-5:30pm; Charity: Rainbow Kitchen and TLC Fund for Kids

December 11: The Zone’s Toy Drive for Christmas Giving, Mayfair Mall, corner of Blanshard and Finlayson; 6-9am Salvation Army Citadel, 4300 Douglas Street, Victoria; 5-7pm; Stream by Chek on the Go; Charity: Salvation Army 34 Island Parent Magazine

Thrifty Foods, Belmont Market, Langford; 5-7pm; Stream by Chek on the Go; Charity: Salvation Army Steve Marshall Ford, 3851 Shenton Road, Nanaimo; 5-7pm; Stream by Chek on the Go; Charity: Salvation Army Galey Farms, 4150 Blenkinsop, Victoria; noon8pm; Charity: Saanich Food Bank and C-FAX Santa’s Anonymous

December 12: The Bay Center Lower Guest Services; 1-6pm; masks mandatory; Charity: Mustard Seed Food Bank and CFax Santa’s Anonymous Sunbelt Rentals, 2994 Jacklin Road, Langford; 402 Garbally Road, Victoria; 10115 McDonald Park Road, Sidney 9am-3pm Fan Tan Home and Style, 541 Fisgard Street, 10am-3pm Mount Newton Center Society, 2158 Mount Newton X Road; Central Saanich; 5-7pm; Mount Newton Centre Society drive thru; accepting cash donations or online Luxton Fair Grounds, 1040 Marwood Avenue, Langford; 5-7pm; Charity: Goldstream Food Bank and TLC Fund for Kids Dodd’s Furniture and Mattress, 825-12 Avenue, Campbell River; 1-4pm; Charity: Campbell River Food Bank and Salvation Army Toy Fund

Habitat for Humanity’s Gingerbread Build

It may look a little different this year, but Habitat for Humanity Victoria’s premier fundraiser the Gingerbread Showcase, sponsored by Revera, launched its 12th season in November. Thirty three bakers have answered the call to take part in this year’s event. These amazingly talented people who volunteer their time to create works of edible art, together with community hosts, are ensuring we are able to continue this must-see seasonal attraction—all to help raise funds for its current build project in North Saanich. “Coastal Living” is the theme for 2020, our volunteer bakers have been invited to create beautiful pieces which reflect the incredible environment that we as a community are so privileged to share. Come and see what they create. Download your host map and take the tour through downtown Victoria and Sidney. Each creation is available for viewing from outside. To maintain social distance please stay within your bubble and remain 6ft (2m) from others. For a map, visit habitatvictoria.com. IslandParent.ca

The tastiest family event in town! Visit our ten hosts on a tour through Downtown Victoria & Sidney to view these sensational gingerbread creations! Donate and vote online for your favourite. Every donation will help build ten affordable homes for local familes in North Saanich. Download your Showcase visitors map today!

Our thanks to media sponsor

Habitat for Humanity Victoria’s

Nov. 21 , 2020 – Jan. 3, 2021

donate and vote for your favourite

www.habitatvictoria.com/ gingerbread2020 IslandParent.ca

December 2020 / January 2021 35

PRESCHOOL&CHILDCAREDIRECTORY ESQUIMALT

SAANICH

Island Kids Academy Esquimalt.....250-381-2929 High quality child care (ages 1-5). Enriched Curriculum. Includes Music Classes and Character Development using the Virtues Project. Wait list being taken. Islandkids.ca.

Camosun College Child Care Services.......................................... 250-370-4880 Quality licensed facilities on both campuses providing children, newborn to 5 years, with rich early learning experiences in a learn through play environment. camosun.ca/childcare.

La Pré-Maternelle Appletree Preschool........................ 250-479-0292 French immersion preschool. Group child care programs. 30 months to school age. Christian centre. prematernelleappletree.com.

Carrot Seed Preschool...................250-658-2331 Where children can discover, imagine, construct and learn through play. Wondrous natural playground. carrotseedpreschool.com.

METCHOSIN Metchosin Cooperative Preschool...................................... 250-478-9241 Play Explore Learn and Grow in beautiful rural Metchosin. Morning programs available for 3 and 4 year olds. Contact our ECEs at metchosinpreschool@gmail.com.

OAK BAY Oak Bay Preschool........................250-592-1922 Oak Bay Preschool is a co-op preschool, using a playbased curriculum with qualified ECE and ECEA. We use a balance of indoor and outdoor classrooms to enrich your child’s preschool experience. Learn more at oakbaypreschool.com. Recreation Oak Bay.......................250-370-7200 Offers full day Daycare and half day Preschool for children ages 3-5 years old. Before and after school care for Willows Elementary and afterschool care for Campus View Elementary is also offered. Please contact childcare@oakbay.ca or call for more information.

Child Care

Resource & Referral Funded by the Province of BC

Your community’s best source of child care information and resources. 36 Island Parent Magazine

• Licensed programs, for children 3–5 years • Flexible part-time schedules • Supported spaces available • 2, 3 and 4 hour morning or afternoon classes Encouraging your child’s development and learning through play and exploration Fullobeans.ca 250-360-1148 E: fullobeans@snplace.org

Island Montessori House........... 250-592-4411 Inclusive, integrated and nurturing Preschool and Before/After School Care programs. Lovely rural setting with a focus on nature and outdoor environmental activities. islandmontessori.com.

Pre-School

If you’d like to be listed in the Preschool & Child Care Directory, please email

sales@islandparent.ca Ready Set Grow Preschool............. 250-472-1530 Join our learning through play preschool located in Hillcrest Elem. Our caring ECEs offer an enriched Program for 3-4 hour, 2-5 days a week and help with kindergarten transition. heoscmanager@gmail.com. St. Joseph’s Early Learning Centre... 250-479-1237 A Christian childcare centre offering daycare and preschool programs for 3-5 year olds. Children learn through play-based and emergent curriculum in a warm and nurturing environment. St. Margaret’s School Jr. Kindergarten................................. 250-479-7171 Apply now for our Early Learning (JK and Kindergarten) Programs. Early learning at SMS is a curriculum-based program for 3 and 4 year olds. admissions@stmarg.ca. Wiseways Child Care Centre.......250-477-1312 Established, quality, licensed, Christian centre for 3-5 year olds. Experienced ECEs, cheerful spacious facilities, large playground. Subsidized fees welcome. Call for a tour. Wisewaysvictoria.com.

Junior Kindergarten

SIDNEY PacificChristian.ca 250-479-4532 Educational Excellence to the Glory of God

Sidney Preschool............................. 250-655-3333 We are a licensed co-operative preschool with a philosophy of learning through play! Four and six hour programs available for children ages 2.5-5. Celebrating 48 years! sidneypreschool.com.

Looking for child care? Need help with the Affordable Child Care Benefit? Taking care of children? Need child care training? Call your local Child Care Resource & Referral for free referrals and resources. Victoria & Gulf Islands: 250-382-7000 or 1-800-750-1868 Sooke: 250-642-5152 West Shore: 250-217-7479 Cowichan Valley: 250-746-4135 local 231 PacificCare (Ladysmith north): 250-756-2022 or 1-888-480-2273

gov.bc.ca/ChildCareResourceReferralCentres IslandParent.ca

VICTORIA

Sir James Douglas Preschool....250-389-0500 Fun, creative and educational ECE program for 3-5 year olds to grow and develop life long skills. Come play and learn in our bright and modern centre in Fairfield. sjdoutofschoolclub.com.

v Comprehensive programs for Preschool through Grade 10 v Delivering academic excellence through music, dance, drama and visual arts v Outstanding educators, locations and facilities

www.ArtsCalibre.ca 250.382.3533 Castleview Child Care................... 250-595-5355 Learning Through Play & Discovery. Licensed nonprofit, ECE staff. Since 1958. Morning or full-time care. castleviewchildcarecentre.com. Centennial Day Care..................... 250-386-6832 Exceptional childcare and education 35+ years. Nature inspired, play based program. NEW central, “green” building. centennialdaycare.ca. Christ Church Cathedral Childcare.......................................250-383-5132 ECE and specialist teachers provide an outstanding all day licensed program for 2.5–5 year olds at our Fairfield and NEW Gordon Head (Fall 2019) locations. cathedralschool.ca. Cloverdale Child Care.................... 250-995-1766 Come join us in our preschool programs for fun and learning. Classes 9:30 to 1:30, we offer 3 and 4 year old classes and a Mon to Fri multiage preschool class. Flexible schedule available. Located at Quadra and Cloverdale streets. cloverdalechildcare@shawbiz.ca. Nightingale Preschool and Junior Kindergarten Ltd............ 250-595-7544 We offer education through creativity and play, providing rich learning experiences through a well sourced and stimulating indoor and outdoor environment. Early years reading programme. nightingalepreschool.com. Arts/Drama programme. kidsworks.ca.

Victoria Montessori...................... 250-380-0534 Unique, innovative learning environment combining the best of Montessori and Learning Through Play. Open year round. 30mths–K. victoriamontessori.com.

VIEW ROYAL Island Kids Academy View Royal...250-727-2929 High quality child care (ages 1-5). Enriched Curriculum. Includes Music Classes and Character Development using the Virtues Project. Wait list being taken. Islandkids.ca. JLC Victoria Japanese Preschool The only Japanese Immersion Preschool on the Island opens at Craigflower Schoolhouse. Offering the best environment for preschoolers to learn Japanese language and culture as natural as possible. jlcvictoria.com.

DUNCAN Duncan Christian School Early Learning Centre.....................250-746-3654 The first step in providing your child with everything they need to become a confident, capable learner in a Christ-centered, community focussed environment. International Montessori Academy of Canada......................... 250-737-1119 Elementary K–12. Offers an enriching environment for preschool children 2-4.9 years with potty training. Nurturing young minds, keeping the spirit free. intmontessori.ca.

Queen Margaret’s School................ 250-746-4185 Early Childhood Education Program. Co-ed nurturing curriculum to develop the whole child. Healthy snacks and lunch provided. qms.bc.ca. Queen of Angels Early Learning Centre..................... 250-701-0433 Our Centre is a lively, happy place for 3-5 year olds where children are encouraged to be confident, independent learners in a nurturing and safe environment. Sunrise Waldorf School Preschool....250-743-7253 In a warm environment, this nature and play-based program enlivens and nurtures the growing child. sunrisewaldorfschool.org.

NANAIMO

Junior Kindergarten to Grade 12

Learn more today! 250-390-2201 AspengroveSchool.ca N A N A I M O ’ S J K–1 2 I N T E R N AT I O N A L B ACC A L AU R E AT E WO R L D S C H O O L

QUALICUM BEACH Little Star Children’s Centre.......... 250-752-4554 Little Gems Infant & Toddler Care..250-228-5437 Mother, Daughter owned and operated. Earth friendly preschool education inspired by nature. Infused with fun and creative daily yoga practices! Licensed group care. Enthusiastic ECE instructors. littlestardaycare.ca.

PORT ALBERNI John Paul II Catholic School...........250-723-0637 “Where children grow and learn through play.” We provide a program that will inspire development physically, socially, emotionally, cognitively, creatively and spiritually.

Nestled on 4 acres of lush west coast forest, our Award winning, Nature based program will not disappoint! While firmly embracing the Reggio-Emila (Italy) Philosophy our dedicated team of educators use the environment as the third teacher as we encourage your child throughout their day. Our purpose built facilities have been handmade using the trees from our forest. We have recently expanded to our new Spirit Bear Lodge located right next door! Programs for Infants/Toddlers/Pre-school Age.

lexieslittlebears.ca 250-590-3603

BC Award of Excellence in Childcare & Prime Minister’s Award of Excellence in Early Childhood Education.

IslandParent.ca

December 2020 / January 2021 37

CUTITOUT!

Teaching Resistance

agging stops children from taking initiative. This anxious micro-managing only teaches kids to dawdle and resist requests. Children want to be in charge of their own lives. So when the parent gives the reminder, they resist. They are so used to getting reminders that they wait for another reminder to do the task—and besides, once they have been reminded, they feel that doing the task is no longer their responsibility; it is the parents. “I was just about to empty the dishwasher, but now that you have asked me, I DON’T WANT TO.” Nagging also teaches children not to listen to the parent’s pleasant tone of voice. Children become conditioned to wait for the angry tone by their frustrated parents. “Why don’t you ever listen to me?!” When parents lose their tempers, they often feel guilty. So, they work hard at a softer, kind approach the next time. “Hey, Sweetie, would you mind emptying the dishwasher?” Sweetie, sensing the guilt and uncertainty, doesn’t respond. Oops, here we go… “I ASKED YOU NICELY, HOW MANY TIMES TO I HAVE TO REPEAT MYSELF?” Well, probably 55 times per day per child, and if you are married, double that figure. You, dear parent, have fallen into a trap, and you are training your child to blame you when things go wrong.

What to do? First of all, notice how many times you go to remind, direct and take over before your children have a chance to think. Stop yourself from doing this. Second, if it is a family issue such as emptying the dishwasher, it helps if the agreement of time was in place beforehand. Stand in front of said child, smile, say “dishwasher.” Stay there, still smiling. “It’s five o’clock, you said you would do it before four.” Tone serious, face pleasant to neutral still standing there. Your body language gets to say, I mean this, I’m here, it matters. If it is a child’s responsibility that only really impacts the child, why are you nagging? Your child will learn more from the natural consequences if the consequences aren’t devastating. When the natural consequence happens, don’t teach your child a lesson or say, “I told you so.” That is another reason kids don’t listen. Give your child true empathy, not the manipulative kind! “You sound disappointed about your mark for the paper.” If you can see that this is part of learning, you won’t be tempted to take the problem over or feel sympathy. Sympathy makes kids feel incapable. It also causes said parent to rescue.

Dr. Allison Rees is a parent educator, counsellor and coach at LIFE Seminars (Living in Families Effectively), lifeseminars.com.

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St. Margaret's School St. Margaret's School 1080www.stmarg.ca Lucas Ave, Victoria BC www.stmarg.ca 1080 Lucas Ave, Victoria BC 1080 Lucas Ave, Victoria BC