June 2019 Island Parent

J U N E

The Dos & Don’ts of Summer Camp Prep

2 0 1 9

Vancouver Island’s Parenting Resource for 31 Years

Sensational Summer

Programs, Camps & Events

SUMMER FUN

FOR EVERYONE! Camps in Victoria for kids ages 5–15

Be Quantum Smart Circus Circus STEAM Summer in Paris SKIN & SUN CARE • APPAREL • STROLLERS • CAR SEATS • HIGH CHAIRS FURNITURE • CARRIERS • SLEEP AIDS • MAMA WEAR • BOOKS • TOYS

1581 Hillside Ave, Victoria 778•265•5651 Across the street from Hillside Centre

SHOP ONLINE AT MOMEASE.CA

And much more to choose from!

A limited number of bursaries are available.

Visit our website for information on these and other programs at www.smus.ca/summer or call the Education Extension Office 250-370-6120

STOP SUMMER LEARNING LOSS FLEXIBLE OPTIONS FOR EVERY FAMILY!

Improve your child's reading, writing and math with a SUMMER program at Sylvan Learning and say goodbye to Summer Learning Loss.

Kids can lose as much as 2.5 months’ worth of learning over the summer, and those kids who already struggle can be hit particularly hard! Turn Summer Learning Loss into a gain! Let Sylvan design a personalized program of mastery, motivation and positive reinforcement for your child to help them beat the summer slide!

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We use a state-of-the-art standardized assessment Personal learning plans help your child make progress quickly.

The use of technology keeps your child engaged A motivation and reward system helps your child stay focused

Plus, to keep it easy, our sessions are available in the afternoon, evenings and weekends ALL YEAR including summer and winter vacations. You pick what works best for your busy schedule.

Call us today, now enrolling for SUMMER!

Sylvan Learning of Vancouver Island 1-800-Educate Victoria, Westshore, Nanaimo, Duncan

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June 2019 3

TA B L E O F C O N T E N T S

Features 10

The Dos & Don’ts of Summer Camp Prep

Getting ready for the big send-off.

12

24

What’s the Buzz

The fun of family beekeeping.

D.L. LUX

27

Summer Programs

Parenting Myself

20

LORA MCKAY

A fun-in-the-sun guide.

Building Baby’s Brain The importance of early experience.

30

Goal Setting & Work/Life Balance

Finding equilibrium with work, family and friendships.

Making time to rest and decompress.

43

Celebrating our connection to nature through music.

29

44

What’s for Dinner

Pasta under pressure.

KATIE DUFF

Ode to the Earth JERRI CARSON

Not So Fast SARAH SEITZ

Hiking with kids on Vancouver Island.

CANDACE NEGM

The joys of unscheduling.

ESTELLE PAGET

42

Into the Woods

40

49

The Pursuit of Happiness

The Perils of Potty Training One method does not fit all.

Chasing an abstract, ever-changing enigma.

NATASHA MILLS

KELLY CLEEVE

In Every Issue

EMILLIE PARRISH

46

Dadspeak

Ah, the baby years.

GREG PRATT

48

Family Services Directory

50

Mom’s POV

I’m embarrassing YOU?!

5

SARAH MILLIGAN

Fast Forward

Fending off FOSH.

52

Preschool & Child Care Directory

54

SUE FAST

58

Nature Notes

Critter-catching consequences.

CORAL FORBES

60

Need to Know

Happy Families, Healthy Families

Becoming a problem solver.

Maternity & Beyond

26

CINDY KNOTT

LAURA TRUNKEY

32

Kids’ Reads

6

56

Party Directory Family Calendar

On the Cover Tysen C (7) Photo by Roslyn Vanderleest

J U N E

The Dos & Don’ts of Summer Camp Prep

2 0 1 9

Vancouver Island’s Parenting Resource for 31 Years

Sensational Summer

Programs, Camps & Events

4 Island Parent Magazine

Summer struggles.

62

Cut It Out!

Tales of war and hope.

A healthy Father’s Day.

CHRISTINE VAN STARKENBURG

ALLISON REES

Jim Schneider Publisher publisher@islandparent.ca Sue Fast Editor editor@islandparent.ca Linda Frear Account Manager/Office Manager linda@islandparent.ca Kristine Wickheim Account Manager kristine@islandparent.ca Island Parent Magazine, published by Island Parent Group Enterprises Ltd., is a monthly publication that honours and supports parents by providing information on resources and businesses for Vancouver Island families. Views expressed are not necessarily those of the publisher. No material herein may be reproduced without the permission of the publisher. Annual mail subscriptions (12 issues) are available for $35 (GST included). Canadian Publication Mail Product Sales Agreement 40051398. ISSN 0838-5505.

Island Parent Magazine 830–A Pembroke St Victoria, BC V8T 1H9 250-388-6905 islandparent.ca

IslandParent.ca

FA STF O RWA R D

Fear of Summer Holidays

S

ure, it’s easy to get seduced by the summer clichés: the endless sunny days, carefree late nights, climbing trees, roasting marshmallows and camping under the stars. But for many parents, summer isn’t a succession of sleeping in and sunny days. It’s a circus-worthy juggling act.

If you’re like 25 per cent of the parents surveyed for a study by the activity app Hoop, the thought of long, lazy summer days doesn’t conjure visions of sunshine and free time—instead, it sends you into a panic.

According to the survey of 2,000 parents, one in four of us reports experiencing Fear of Summer Holidays, or FOSH. “The whole thing is a lot like regular parenting, only filtered through a psychedelic kaleidoscope and played out at three times its usual speed,” writes Andy Dawson in “Why Working Parents Like Me Dread Summer Holidays” for The Guardian.

“You quickly realise how much of the strain of child-rearing is carried by the education system, and you vow never to make one of those snide remarks about teachers knocking off at half three each day and spending most of their lives on holiday.”

According to Statistics Canada, roughly 77 per cent of twoparent families with kids between the ages of six and 15 have both parents working outside of the home. That says nothing of single-parent families. The result—no matter what your fam-

ily dynamic is—often leaves parents scrambling to find alternatives to the unstructured, sun-drenched days that some of us remember from our own childhoods.

Which begs the question: What are our kids doing over the holidays?

To find answers to that question, New York Times writer Francesca Donner asked readers: What’s your summer game plan?

Some respondents said they alternated vacation time with their spouse to ensure that someone was at home over the holidays. Others registered their kids in summer camps and programs. Some planned kid-centric adventures. Others armed their kids with iPads.

There was talk of everything from optional summer school sessions, shorter holidays, and government-subsidized summer programs, to enlisting help from grandparents, sharing the cost of a babysitter with other families so their kids could stay at home and roam the neighbourhood, and even one crazy-brave suggestion to “Make the holidays longer!”

Whatever your family plans this summer, may they include sunshine, happy kids, and time to just stretch out on the grass together and watch the clouds slide by. For ideas and suggestions on what to do on the Island over the holidays, read on.

– Sue Fast

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June 2019 5

N E E DTO KN OW

VICTORIA GENERAL HOSPITAL (VGH) REFERRAL CENTRE FOR MATERNITY & PEDIATRICS ON VANCOUVER ISLAND

1 of BC’s 4 high-level Neonatal Intensive Care Units (NICU) for critically ill newborns

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kids at VGH spends time in the PICU

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V I CTO R I A H F . CA / V I TA L K I D S It covers a surface area twice the size of Texas, and contains an estimated 3.6 trillion pieces. But did you know it’s not actually a “patch”? Or how about the fact that garbage is accumulating in five distinct areas of our oceans? And did you know that your laundry is likely contributing to the problem?

Visit the Maritime Museum of BC to learn more about marine debris and plastic in our oceans, including why it exists and how it continues to grow. You’ll also learn about the efforts from people around the world who are working to better the situation, and even how you can make small changes in your daily life that can contribute to big changes for our oceans. Daily from 10am-5pm. mmbc.bc.ca 6 Island Parent Magazine

PLAY your Way T

he 2018 ParticipACTION Report Card indicates that only 35 per cent of 5 to 17 year-olds are achieving the recommended activity levels for their age group.

It also indicates that 76 per cent of 3 to 4 year olds and 51 per cent of 5 to 17 year olds are engaging in more screen time than is recommended by the Canadian Guidelines for screen-based sedentary behavior. The 2015 report research revealed that sedentary behavior is associated with increased risk for obesity and cardiometabolic disease in children and youth.

Providing our children with the opportunity to learn the fundamental movement skills that will give them the confidence and motivation to be active is crucial. This summer, PISE will offer over 50 camps and programs for children and youth on the Island. To ensure children aren’t excluded from summer camps due to financial reasons, PISE is offering the Play Your Way Grant, a program that can cover the cost of any PISE facilitated program or camp. Money shouldn’t be a barrier for children to play, learn and be active.

To learn more about the Play Your Way Grant, visit pise.ca/grant.

IslandParent.ca

Don’t ask Your Kids What They Want to Be When They Grow Up Instead, ask them these 3 questions...

1. What problems do you want to solve?

Asking children about the problems they want to solve gives them the chance to reflect on their own values and priorities—something that most kids probably aren’t prompted to do very often, but is excellent practice for their futures.

2. Who are the grownups you admire, and why?

By asking a kid about which adults they admire, it is a chance to have a meaningful discussion about character traits with them.

3. How do you think this would make you feel?

Ask kids specific questions inspired by an event they’ve heard about.

The aim here is to help kids develop the skills to evaluate a situation.

“When kids are intrinsically motivated and wired for empathy, they are more readily able to channel those values into actionable outcomes,” says Dr. Jillian Roberts, a Victoria child psychologist and author.

From thriveglobal.com and familysparks.com.

IslandParent.ca

975 Fort Street, Victoria motheringtouch.ca - 250-595-4905

June 2019 7

SUMMER CAMPS AGES 5 & UP Acting Film Musical Theatre Mask Making ... and more!

Full-day and Half-day Options

250-386-7526 | kathleen@skam.ca | skam.ca

Summer Camps for Girls!

Science & the Placenta Trend

A

ccording to new research from the BC Mental Health and Substance Use Services’ Research Institute and the University of British Columbia, eating your placenta provides no mental health benefits for new mothers.

The study is the largest so far to look at the effects of eating one’s placenta—a practice known as placentophagy. Eating one’s placenta following childbirth is a growing trend, with many celebrities claiming that the practice provided them with health benefits, including preventing postpartum depression. However, previous studies have shown that consuming human placenta poses risks for mothers and their babies, including viral and bacterial infections.

The study also showed that women who consumed their placentas did not have more energy, had no increase in their vitamin B12 levels, and required no less lactation assistance than women who consumed their placentas.

Jehannine Austin, the executive director of the research institute, professor in the UBC faculty of medicine recommends that women who are concerned about postpartum depression speak with their doctor, midwife, or a public health nurse. Also, B.C. women can access services through the Pacific Post Partum Support Society and the Reproductive Mental Health program at BC Children’s Hospital.

Camp themes include tennis, golf, dance, computer science, learn to sew, musical theatre as well as specialty camps like CoderGirl and Self.I.E girls’ empowerment camp.

REGISTER TODAY! www.stmarg.ca/programs/summer-camps VANCOUVER ISLAND’S ONLY ALL-GIRLS, INDEPENDENT DAY AND BOARDING SCHOOL • VICTORIA, BC, CA

8 Island Parent Magazine

IslandParent.ca

4th Annual Vancouver Island

Nature Preschool ‘Campference’…for KIDS The Hand-In-Hand Early Years Nature Education Program (HIH) Campference is from Friday, June 14 to Sunday, June 16 at Rathtrevor Beach Provincial Park and brings together Vancouver Island families and educators in support of teaching, learning and playing with children in nature. This 3-day nature-inspired event is for children, aged 3-5 (must be out of diapers), and 6 years old and older. The Campference is a volunteer event, put together by the collective efforts of nature preschool and educators as a way of giving back to the many Vancouver Island families who believe in and support nature preschools. Registration is by donation (the only costs that families are responsible for is travel expenses, camping fees and meals). For information, visit hand-in-handeducation.com.

Car Free YYJ Walk, skip or bike ride to Car Free YYJ— aka “Father’s Day on Douglas Street”—on Sunday June 16 from 11am-6pm. Spread over nine city blocks, the celebration includes five stages with live entertainment, a 4,000 square foot park on Douglas Street, multiple all-ages licensed food and beverage areas, 400+ local artists and makers as well as activities created by local businesses and organizations. Car Free YYJ is also hosting the First Peoples’ Festival which features a full day of programming, vendors and food in celebration of Canada’s First Peoples’ culture.

carfreeyyj.ca

Sidney Street Festival Visit Sidney on Sunday, June 30 for Sidney’s Annual Sidewalk Sale & Street Festival and take part in all-day activities for the entire family.

Enjoy live music on the main stage and at other locations on Beacon Avenue. Shop and stroll the boutique shopping district and take in all Sidney has to offer.

Immediately following the Street Festival, head down to Beacon Park for more festivities and the annual Sidney Days fireworks display on the waterfront. sidneybia.ca

IslandParent.ca

June 2019 9

The Dos & Don’ts of Summer Camp Prep

Whether it’s your child’s first time away at overnight camp or their fifteenth, here— courtesy of OurKids.net—are some quick tips on getting ready for the big send-off.

Dos Communicate: Let the camp director know if your child is reluctant, apprehensive or worried about heading off to camp.

Counselors can help ease the camper into the first few days.

Paperwork: Ensure all registration and information forms are fully completed. This provides valuable and critical information on all campers. The counselors study this information prior to camp to be ready when the campers arrive.

Orientation: Attend a camp orientation or open house; this is a chance for you and your child to meet the staff and learn about their programs. Ask questions and make notes on important issues for you, for example, “Is the camp equipped to deal with campers who have allergies?”

Connect: Check the camp’s website, social media links, DVD and information packages. Connect with the camp you’ve chosen through their social media profiles and keep important email addresses with you.

Get Involved: Talk to other parents and involve your child in the process from the start. The more they learn about camp, the less anxious they will be.

Update Information: Let the camp know if a regular medication has been discontinued recently. And if your child is getting over any sort of communicable illness, the camp needs to know.

Label Items: Iron-on labels are great for fabrics while permanent markers or even colourful nail polish works for everything else. Send along extra labels, just in case.

Training Camp: Sleepovers can be great practice for avoiding separation anxiety, especially for first-timers. Additionally, some camps now offer family camp, where parents can accompany their young campers for trial periods.

Choose Wisely: It’s camp and kids will get dirty. Pack older clothes or items your child has almost outgrown.

Pack Medication: Send along prescription medicines, in their original containers, making sure instructions are on the label.

If your child needs an EpiPen, asthma puffer or other special medications close at hand, they can be kept in a fanny pack for easy access. Remember to discuss these issues with the camp director and counselors.

Get Your Child Involved: Independence is a great byproduct of going to camp, so have your child pack her own bag. Help her plan what she will need: use a detailed checklist and oversee the operation, but let her pack. With young kids, pack the bag together.

Keep In Touch: Mail a letter to your camper a week before camp starts, so it arrives before they get there. Pack self-addressed, stamped envelopes so that they can write you back.

Don’ts Force It: Don’t force your child to attend camp. Be sure they are ready, willing and able.

Make Promises: If your camper is reluctant, suggest that they “give it their best,” and tell them that you will re-evaluate for next year. Never suggest that you will come pick them up if they don’t like it. Instill the expectation that they will stay for the entire session. Even the most apprehensive camper will often surprise Mom and Dad with: “I want to go for a whole month next year!”

Pressure: Don’t set your child up for disappointment by over-

selling how wonderful the camp experience was for you. Stay positive but let them enjoy camp in their own way.

Worry: Stay positive about your child’s camp time. Don’t dwell on telling them how much you will miss them (though you will), and don’t overplay all the “fun” things you have planned while they are away. Encourage them to enjoy camp their way.

Send Valuables: Money, cell phones and jewelry are not needed at camp. Crafty campers will create their own new bracelets and other adornments.

Criticize: Don’t criticize or belittle your child if their camp experience isn’t totally positive. Be encouraging.

Overpack: Never overpack. Follow the camp’s guidelines. Each camp offers suggestions on what to pack and how to pack.

They’ve done this before—heed their suggestions.

Burn: Don’t forget the sunscreen.

Be a Heli-Parent: Camp directors and counselors are focused on the campers. Don’t send them daily emails, letters or phone calls to check up. If there are issues, they will contact you. If you need to touch base, once a session is sufficient.

Procrastinate: Don’t leave things until the last minute. Pack ahead of time.

Push: You’re a keen kayaker who also loves long hikes and wilderness excursions. Your son prefers arts and drama. Don’t push your kids to follow your trail. Let them blaze their own.

Summer Programs Here it is! Victoria’s most comprehensive listing of

summer programs for families. Included you’ll find information on everything from Art to Science & Nature and much, more.

Check out the advertising in this issue for more details.

edit their own quirky animated movies.

Our “Flash Video Game Design” camps teach kids how to animate characters and stories, and program Actionscript to make fun, interactive video games. And our “3D Animation” camp will introduce the next generation PIXAR artists to the amazing world of 3D character modelling and animation. New camp times 9-4pm! 9-14yrs, bytecamp.ca, 1 (888) 808-BYTE.

DANCE/MUSIC/PERFORMANCE

Photo: Camp Qwanoes

SKAM School of Performing Arts offers summer camps in acting, filmmaking, musical theatre, mask making, and more!

Half day and full day camps are available, with options for ages ranging from 5-17.

At the end of each camp, students will have an opportunity to perform their work for an audience. Groups are small for quality instruction. For more information, call 250-386-7526, email kathleen@skam.ca, or head to skam.ca/summer-camps.

CHURCH CAMPS

Pat Bay Hwy). $25/child. Bursaries Available. Info/Registration: 250-658-8111 or Amazing Journey Day Camp: July elklakebaptist.ca.

8-12 (9am-noon) Pre-K to Grade 5. Get ready for a fun, action packed journey Emmanuel Baptist Church is having 7 to Ancient Greece. In its 8th summer, camps this summer for children ranging this unique camp offers hands-on experi- from 4 to Gr. 5. We have two preschool/ ences that bring the Bible to life. New primary morning camps, a Vacation Bible program every summer. Sponsored by St. School week, and 4 weeks Day Camps for Luke Cedar Hill, St. George’s Cadboro Grades 1 to 5. Please see our ad in this Bay, and Lutheran Church of the Cross. month’s Island Parent. Our camps are led Register early. Info/registration: amazing- by mature adults with qualifications (teach4kids17@gmail.com or visit facebook.com/ ers, ECEs, ECE assistants, and responsible amazingjourneysummercamp. adults). Our day camps for Elementary children include outings into the comElk Lake Baptist Church. “Roar” Day munity every day. emmanuelvictoria.ca.

Camp: August 19-23 (9am-noon) K-Grade 250-592-2418.

5. At Roar, kids discover that God is good even when life gets wild! Kids participate in memorable Bible-learning activities, COMPUTERS sing catchy songs, play teamwork-building games, make and devour yummy treats, Byte Camp—Creative Tech Camps for and test out Sciency-Fun Gizmos they’ll Kids! Kids in our “Claymation Movie take home and play with all summer long. Production” camps create their own clay Location: Elk Lake Baptist Church (5349 characters, sets and props, and shoot and 12 Island Parent Magazine

Island Circus Space. Looking for something new for your child to try this summer?

Look no further, you’ve found the circus.

Circus camps are a great way to have fun and make new friends while developing new skills including balancing, juggling, stage presence, partner acrobatics, aerials, tumbling and so much more. No experience is necessary and we have classes for kids ages 6-16. So give it a try and see what new heights your child will climb to. Register online at islandcircusspace.com/camps.

Stages Performing Arts Schools is offering a number of different summers programs through July and August. Since 1980 Stages has offered professional instruction in jazz, ballet, lyrical, tap, musical theatre and hip hop for all ages and levels of experience.

We believe that all students should have an equal opportunity to learn in a safe, noncompetitive environment, which fosters self-expression, a healthy body, confidence, and encourages discipline, creativity and pride in their accomplishments. For more information, please call STAGES at 250384-3267 or visit stagesdance.com.

SMUS Summer Music Academies. Join students from across North America in this unique summer program with a solid arts pedigree. Youth age 11-17 can spend a week of intensive, hands-on learning with expert instructors exploring and enhancing their IslandParent.ca

skills in a specific area of the performing arts. Program areas include: Band (concert band, jazz band, and switch band), and Musical Theatre. For details, visit us at: smus.ca/academies or call 250-370-6120.

CADBORO BAY DENTAL

Opening June 2019!

Tom Lee Music Academy’s flexible summer lesson programs offer an ideal solution to get you started on or simply test the waters of a musical journey. Our famous School of Rock Program, and low commitment, flexible private lessons are a perfect fit for busy summer holiday schedules. Call Rosa at 250-383-5222, or drop by the store for more information.

Victoria AcadCBD_IslandParent.indd emy of Ballet’s Storybook Ballet Camp (July 2-5), ages 4-6.

Explore ballet’s most beautiful tales through ballet, creative movement, character dance, arts and crafts and musical exploration. The Junior Summer Intensive, ages 7-13 (July 8-19) is a full day intensive with ballet, jazz, character, contemporary and preparation for pointe. VictoriaAcademyofBallet.ca or 250-590-6752.

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Victoria Academy of Dramatic Arts summer camps with instructor Julia DillonDavis, a screenwriter, actor, director, and producer. She is passionate about family stories, particularly stories about young people overcoming internal and external challenges. July 22-25, 9:30am-12:30pm.

The VAD Arts Junior Actors Conservatory for youth aged 9-15. During four morning sessions, participants are introduced to acting for camera, auditioning for film and TV, and what it’s like to be on set. August 12-15, 9:30am-12:30pm. Explore scenes and practice auditioning skills in a tight time frame. Actors will receive feedback on their work and get to practice applying direction and new approaches. vadarts. com/summer-camp.

EDUCATION JLC Victoria Japanese Summer Program. The only Japanese Immersion Summer Program on the island is offered at Craigflower Schoolhouse. Not only Japanese Immersion Program but also Japanese/English Fusion Program available.

IslandParent.ca

June 2019 13

Children will be immersed in Japanese environment while having fun through variety of Japanese cultural activities, such as Calligraphy, Origami, and more! Full-day for 6-10 years old and half-day for 3-5 years old. Details at jlcvictoria.com.

Bleiddyn del Villar Bellis Artistic Director Fellow & Examiner CC-CICB Enrico Cecchetti Final Diploma

Kinder Camp Ages 4-6 July 2-5 Mornings Junior Summer Intensive Ages 7-13 Full day two week program in ballet, jazz, contemporary and pre-pointe

2019 Children’s Summer Ballet Camps

Photo credit: David Cooper

July 8-19

250-590-6752 admin@victoriaacademyofballet.ca victoriaacademyofballet.ca

Come Ride With Us! Dirt Bike Birthday Parties

We supply everything: Bike • Gear • Riding Lesson for ages 4yrs to adults over 30 bikes to choose from

Kids’ Summer Camps (7–14) Westshore Motocross Park No experience necessary 2207 Millstream Rd, Langford

250 590 8088 westshoremx.com 14 Island Parent Magazine

School may be out for Summer, but for just 30 minutes a day, your kids could make this their smartest summer yet! Kumon is the world’s largest math and reading program with more than 4 million students in 51 countries. As a comprehensive program, Kumon serves children in preschool through high school. Call us today at 1.800.ABC. MATH or visit us online at kumon.ca to book a free assessment at our centres in Langford and Saanich.

SCAMPS summer camps provide a highly educational experience in a fun setting with qualified experts who love kids. Offering camps in French immersion, German immersion, and English, SCAMPS we draw on the expertise of UVic faculty and students to provide an experience that is a cut above—these aren’t your usual summer camps. Student:staff ratios of 7:1, and competitive pricing with discounts if you sign up for multiple camps: uvic.ca/scamps. Space still available.

Island locations: in Victoria 250-477-3212; in the Westshore 250-590-6211; in Duncan 250-746-0222; in Nanaimo 250-758-1526.

GYMNASTICS Victoria Gymnastics is celebrating its 39th year and enjoying the success of its two locations—downtown and the newest location near Royal Roads University in Colwood.

We continue to provide quality artistic gymnastics for boys and girls ages two through adult, beginner through advanced. Our non-competitive achievement programs provide children with a skill set advantage for all activities. We guarantee our 8 to 1 ratio, offer convenient class times and ensure certified instruction so that your child will excel in a well-structured, fun and safe environment. Visit victoriagymnastics.com.

RECREATION

This summer learn to sail at the Canadian Forces Sailing Association, Esquimalt.

We offer 1 and 2 week courses for ages 4 to adult, all skill levels and families.

CFSA is a wonderful place to learn sailing in a protected harbour with favourable winds. See cfsaesq.cafor info under “Sail Training”. Contact Program Coordinator at email: sailinginstructor@cfsaesq.ca or message CF Sailing School-Esquimalt on Girls’ Summer Camps at St. Margaret’s Facebook @esquimaltsailing. Register at School provide fun activities in a gorgeous 250-363-1009 or “PSP Online” at bk.cfpsa. natural setting to build confidence, friend- com/esquimaltpub/index.asp. Discounts for ships, and skills. Your daughter will love CFSA Members. our weekly themes: Art, Games, Sewing, Water Play, Robotics, and more! For grades The City of Victoria has many kids’ summer 1-4: July 3-Aug 10 (full-day, M-F, minus camps for any age or budget. Go Mad for holidays). Check out our Specialty Camps: Science, pan for gold, learn to swim, sail, SELF.I.E. girls empowerment (Grades kayak or ride a horse, and take your bike 5-6), and CodingGirl computer science and skater skills to the next level. Create (Grades 3-6 and 5-6) in partnership with your own computer games and animation Girls Learning Code and Science Venture. at byte and coding camps! Explore the Details and online registration at stmarg.ca/ outdoors on one of our many camping girls-summer-camp or by emailing jcowie@ trips—you’ll even get to try some surfing. stmarg.ca, or phone 250-727-7163.

Check it all out at Victoria.ca/recreation.

Sylvan offers summer programs to minimize summer learning loss and to help with the transition from one grade to another.

Sylvan’s individualized programs prevent children from forgetting what they learned last year and help them to preview what they will be studying in the coming year. To get your child set up for summer and for success, give us a call at one of our 4 Vancouver

Coastal Bliss Adventure summer camps have been running since 2012 in the Cowichan valley, with inspired children returning annually, or progressing onto leadership rolls as junior instructors. Our camps provide a mixture of water and land-based camps including: kayaking, canoeing, standup paddle-boarding, surfing, backpacking and nature exploration as main focuses, IslandParent.ca

Join Recreation Oak Bay for a Free Celebrate Canada Event!

Friday June 28, Noon-2pm Oak Bay Municipal Hall Lawn Free BBQ & Cupcakes • Entertainment • Jumping Castle • Crafts & Games!

Summer Camps

Register Now!

Call 250-595-7946 or register online:

recreation.oakbay.ca

Where everyone comes to play!

Henderson Park G olf Course

2019 Youth Annual Pass

Valid June 2019 to June 2020 Purchase from June 1 - 30, 2019

$

2-Month Family Pass Only $219 Lessons for all ages

Special Only

129

Ages 6-18 years Regular price$169

and abilities too!

Pass is good for 12 months of swimming, skating and fitness studio* drop-ins *Age restrictions apply, ask reception for details.

Summer Camps (3-12 years)

Lil’ Chippers Golf & Swim, Golf n Games Golf & Go, Crazy Golf Juniors Grand Slam Golf and Tennis!

IslandParent.ca

Henderson

Recreation Centre 2291 Cedar Hill X Road 250-370-7200

Oak Bay Recreation Centre 1975 Bee Street • 250-595-7946 Henderson Recreation Centre 2291 Cedar Hill X Road • 250-370-7200 recreation.oakbay.ca June 2019 15

with an assortment of exciting afternoon activities. Register early: programs fill up quickly. Program ages 9-12 and 13-16. Visit coastalbliss.ca or phone 250-597-3031.

Camp Prep Made Easy

Recreation Oak Bay—Come play and experience the fun of summer camps. There are camps for all ages. From half day to daily, to week long camps, there is something for everyone’s schedules and needs.

New camps/themes include GO Green GO, School of Rock, and Art Fashion and Wearable Designs along with the favorites; Sports, Arts and Crafts, Dance, Golf, and Aquatic camps. Visit recreation.oakbay.ca or call 250-595-7946 to register.

There are plenty of resources available for parents sending their child to camp for the first time and for the veteran camp parents as well. One of those is Preparing for Camp, an ebook written by Canadian Camping Association executive member Catherine Ross. The handbook guides you through everything you’ll need to know from choosing a good camp and registration, to packing and saying good-bye. Download a free copy of the ebook on the Our Kids Go To Camp website, ourkids.net/ebooks/ preparing-for-camp-ebook.php.

Royal Victoria Yacht Club offers community programs that are fun, adventurous, and inclusive. We value sportsmanship, excellence and sailing for life. Get the whole family on the water with Sail Canada certified instructors, CANSail accreditation and low student to instructor ratios.

Come have some fun and enjoy sailing, games and adventuring around Cadboro Bay and Oak Bay. For more information call 250-592-6112, email sailing@rvyc.ca or visit rvyc.bc.ca.

STAGES Su m mer Pro g ra ms Running This July & August

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Come Dance With Us Call (250) 384-3267, email: stagesdance@shaw.ca or visit us at www.stagesdance.com 16 Island Parent Magazine

IslandParent.ca

Westshore Motocross Park offers dirt bike riding, rentals and lessons for the whole family, age 4yrs and up. From 50cc auto with training wheels to 125/250cc full size bikes for Mom and Dad, dirt bike riding has never been so easy and fun. Birthday party’s are common here and with over 35 rental bikes and 50 sets of safety gear, large groups of any age are no problem. Summer camps in July and August. Open Tuesdays thru Friday 11am to 8pm or dusk, Saturdays 10 to 4, Sunday by calling 250 590 8088. Located at 2207 Millstream Road in Langford. Contact westshoremx.com.

An experience that lasts a lifetime!

Out of School Care • Programs & Events • Crew and Leader-in-Training Programs

Leadership • Summer Camp • Rentals

Register or Call Today!

CampPringle.com • 250-743-2189 • info@camppringle.com

Summer is going to be spectacular at West Shore Parks & Recreation. With camps like daily registration Super Sizzler Summer Camp, a two week Red Cross Swimming Aqua Camp, weekly tech, music and science camps you’ll have an amazing time. Make friends and have a blast with our awesome leaders. We also offer Roving Play Parks, Neighbourhood Nights and StoryWalks all free programs at a different West Shore park each week. Visit westshorerecreation. ca or call 250-478-8384 for information. facebook.com/westshorerecreation.

SCIENCE, NATURE & OUTDOOR EDUCATION Cedar Coast Field Station. Located on Vargas Island, near Tofino, Cedar Coast camps use the pristine environment to facilitate experiential learning. We engage campers curiosity through participatory research and adventure. We want to equip our campers with the tools and experiences to be better communicators, more confident in themselves and unapologetically curious about the world around them. Register at cedarcoastfieldstation.org.

Mad Science. We spark children’s interest in science, encourage curiosity and build their confidence and skills. Programs like Space Robotics, Secret Agent or Mining and Crafting bring distant, invisible or digital activities into the real world. Any of our topics in this years’ half or full day camp is cool! Children participate in science explorations and have fun. All camps include indoor and outdoor activities. Our mixed classes focus on age-specific needs and abilities. Details and registration online: vancouverisland.madscience.org

IslandParent.ca

June 2019 17

SPORTS

Royal Soccer Club. With over 100 locations, we’re celebrating our 27th year of running the #1 grassroots soccer day camps in Canada. Operating all weeks in July/August, we offer a soccer focused morning and a swim and camp games for afternoons. Boys and girls aged 5-13 can register for full day, morning and afternoon sessions with early drop off times available at no extra charge. Call 1-800-427-0536 or visit royalsoccer.com for more information.

Highland Pacific Golf is Victoria’s friendliest place to play and welcomes golfers of all ages. Our facilities are ideal for learning and our PGA of Canada Coaches run clinics and camps for all ages. At Highland Pacific Golf young golfers build fundamentals and movement skill of all aspects of the game.

Enroll your child in our Spring or Summer Camps and watch them grow to love the game for a lifetime. highlandpacificgolf. com.

Come spend your summer with the Vikes!

Join our amazing summer staff for a week PISE Summer Camps focus on fun ways to of fun! Develop skills, meet new friends, develop fundamental movement skills and explore creativity and experience exciting patterns that enable children to be active for activities in a safe and positive environlife! Whether that is learning how to throw ment on the UVic campus. Half day and properly or learning the correct technique full day camps are available. A variety of of a squat, these movements are essential camps ranging in ages from 5-17 are ofto being active, healthy and injury free. We fered in four categories: Recreation, Sport help kids play their way to confidence, skill Development, High Performance and development, fun, team work, cooperation, Climbing & Outdoor. See the full schedule respect and inclusivity! For ages 3-18, camps at: vikescamps.com. run throughout July and August. PISE.ca/ summer-camps.

World Cup Soccer Camp offers exciting summer camps from Victoria to Pt. Hardy.

Our professional coaches are trained to

make learning fun for children. Whether your child is a 4-year-old, playing for the first time, or a 16 year old looking for a challenge, we have a camp for them. For more information visit our website at worldcupsoccercamp. com or contact your local recreation centre to register.

SWIMMING/DIVING Victoria Synchro Synchronized Swimming Summer Camp: Aug 19-23, 9am-4pm at Saanich Commonwealth Place. Boys and Girls ages 8-12, no synchro experience necessary just swimming skills.

Water and land activities. Fall Registration: check our website for classes and registration information. Fun, fitness, friends and teamwork! This sport combines swimming, music, dance, gymnastics, drama and team skills. Give synchronized swimming a try! victoriasynchro.com or contact jennifervicsynchro@gmail.com.

SUMMER CAMPS Come spend your summer with the Vikes!

Develop skills, meet new friends, explore creativity and experience exciting activities in a fun, safe and positive environment.

RECREATION SPORT DEVELOPMENT HIGH PERFORMANCE CLIMBING & OUTDOOR Presented by

18 Island Parent Magazine

Supported by

Register now! vikescamps.com IslandParent.ca

MID-ISLAND PROGRAMS Alpine Stables, Cobble Hill. Nestled in the beauty of the Cowichan Valley, this impeccable facility is a first class, familyrun business. Overnight Summer Camps for ages 7-15. Morning topics include safety rules, stable management, grooming, riding lesson and feeding. Afternoon activities will include trail rides, arts and crafts, and bareback riding. Evening activities include of campfires, games, horsey videos and social interaction. Great snacks and meals. Finish off with the Show and Games day on Friday.

It is our pleasure to offer everyone a unique

equine riding experience. 250-743-6641. Debate Camp Canada, Kingswood Study 250-812-6115. riding@alpinestable.com. Camp Canada, Musical Theatre, Rowing, Rock Band and Soccer! For more informaNestled on the pristine oceanfront of Mill tion visit camps.brentwood.ca.

Bay, Brentwood College School summer camps offer a wide range of day and Horne Lake. Welcome To Breathtaking! overnight options this year. This July and Winner of the “BC’s Remarkable ExperiAugust, Brentwood is hosting 9 diverse ence Award!” Explore Horne Lake Caves and fun camps offering a summer experi- and discover underground waterfalls, fossils ence rich in fun, friendship, learning and and amazing crystal formations. Take a adventure for kids ages 7 to 17. These camps fascinating guided tour or explore on your range from half and full-day to overnight, own into the smaller and more rugged caves. and are designed to cover everything from Slide down the world’s only Cave Slide! If academics to arts and athletics. Campers you prefer your adventures above-ground, can pick from: Academics Camp Canada, the Cave Theatre and Fossil Trail will reveal the park’s mysteries without having to venture inside the caves. Open year-round.

Cellphones & Summer Camp

W

hen your kid’s summer camp tells you to just pack the essentials—swim suit, sunscreen, sleeping bag—a cell phone is usually not on the list. In fact, it’s generally on the “What Not to Bring” list. But for parents, staying in touch with our kids feels essential, and some find it’s not so easy to break the habit.

If the kids can unplug, why can’t we? Since we can all admit our phones are more for us than them (kids aren’t the only ones with camp jitters), here are some tried and tested tips from recovering camp parents. You will get through it.

Remind yourself why your kid is going to camp. You’ve sent your son or daughter off for a new experience, and for a reason. Having your kids spend time with their fellow campers rather than texting friends back home will ensure a more valuable camp experience.

Connect the old fashioned way. You may miss hearing your kid’s voice, but nothing beats a letter from your sleep-away camper telling you about new friends and new experiences at camp. And for your kid, nothing beats a letter from home with news of familiar places and people, filled with expressions of love and “We miss you.” For parents of day campers, you can hear all about your kid’s exciting day when you’re together again—on the ride home or at dinner.

Seeing is believing. If you mainly want assurance that your kid’s having a good time, you may be able to see for yourself if your camp posts camper photos online. Ask if your camp offers a similar service, or suggest that they do.

If you’re on the fence, check the rule book. You’ll usually find cellphones on the “What Not to Bring” list. Abide by the rules, and if your kid has a problem and needs to get in touch, the camp will facilitate a phone call. You can always call the camp office or ask to speak to your kid’s counselor to ease your mind.

From “Dear Mom, Don’t Pack My Phone for Camp” by Regan McMahon.

Reprinted with permission from Common Sense Media, commonsense.org.

IslandParent.ca

International Montessori Academy.

Enjoying summer while learning. An educational and fun summer pre-school program for your child. Our school provides great summer learning experiences to stimulate and inspire your child. The authentic Montessori approach combines physical and emotional development with exciting endeavors involving art, music, science, culture and language in English and French.

International Montessori Academy. 2375 Koksilah Road, Duncan. 250-737-1119. inayat@intmontessori.com.

The Maple Bay Yacht Club is running a summer sailing school during July and August for children ages 8-18. We create an adventurous and fun environment to help children feel like they own the seas.

Our coaches are Sail Canada certified and prepared to give your children a summer they won’t forget! After completing courses, students will receive certification from CANSail, a program designed to foster sailing performance and individuality. Visit mbyc.bc.ca/sailing-school/ for more info.

The Raptors offers a unique learning experience for all ages that will never be forgotten. Our safe, exciting and educational summer camps keep their minds and bodies busy all day. Activities include practical and safe, hands-on experiences and flying demonstrations with many different raptors such as hawks and owls. The children, working in small groups with our fun and experience staff, learn about the birds’ unique adaptations that help them survive in the wild. pnwraptors.com 250746-0372.•

June 2019 19

Building Baby’s Brain This month, in the second of a three-part series, Estelle Paget, KidCare’s Executive Director and Founder, offers practical ways we can help build baby’s brain.

For more suggestions, visit kidcarecanada.org.

“Early experiences affect the development of brain architecture, which provides the foundation for all future learning, behavior, and health.”

Centre on the Developing Child at Harvard University

C

an an ordinary parent, without a background in psychology or neuroscience, help their child build a solid brain? The answer is a resounding “YES”!

Thanks to the remarkable research that has taken place in the fields of neuroscience and developmental cognitive neuroscience, we now know how brain development takes place and why positive early experiences are critically important. Many factors influence brain development but the most impact comes from a parent’s interactions with a child from early in life.

Every new experience creates new connections in the brain.

When experiences are repeated the connections are strengthened. This happens whether the experiences are positive or negative.

Life is stressful for most parents. However, try to keep early experiences mostly positive—for two reasons: the brain development that takes place early in life is “imprinted” and hard to change later in life. Not impossible, but hard. And early connections set the stage for higher-level skills later in life such as being able to focus, plan, problem-solve, and get along with others. Babies and toddlers who are nurtured early in life acquire benefits that can be seen throughout the lifespan. These include being able to learn, to self-regulate or behave, to be resilient and to enjoy good mental, emotional and physical health.

So how does a parent create positive early experiences for their child?

Building a solid brain begins before a baby is born and then continues from the first day of life through simple, every day, caring interactions.

Before Birth

You support your baby’s healthy growth and brain development when you do the following: • Have regular prenatal care • Take time to rest and minimize stress • Eat a variety of healthy foods • Sleep • Avoid alcohol, other drugs and tobacco 20 Island Parent Magazine

After Baby is Born

You can help your baby’s brain develop through: • Nutrition • Nurturing • Sleep Nutrition. Breastfeeding is good for your baby’s developing brain and is the only food your baby needs for the first six months (along with vitamin D). You can continue to breastfeed long after you introduce solid foods. If you are unable to breastfeed or need to supplement your breast milk, you can still nurture your child when feeding and ensure they have good nutrition. Hold your child close (skin-to-skin is great) and look into their eyes.

Watch for their feeding cues.

Your little one will let you know when they have eaten enough or just want a break. When you begin to introduce solids, learn which foods are ideal and how to bring your baby to the family table.

Try to keep mealtimes low stress by focusing on enjoying the food and conversation. Avoid forcing your child to eat. Don’t let meal times become battle grounds. Over a 24-hour period children will get the nutrients they need through regular meals and healthy snacks (that are really mini-meals).

Nurturing. Your baby needs a dependable relationship with a responsive and loving caregiver, especially for the first two years of life. Positive, stable and caring interactions help your child feel safe and secure. When children feel safe they can thrive. Kids want the same thing in their relationships as we do—to feel adored, respected and listened to. They like predictability. Nurturing includes: loving touch (essential for brain development), back-and-forth interactions, lots of smiling and play.

Singing and reading to your baby or storytelling are wonderful ways to nurture. As your child develops, introduce play.

You can get down on the floor with your baby. Have tummy time every day and provide interesting, safe objects your baby can reach for or look at. Invent silly games or songs with their fingers and toes, and have fun.

Follow your child’s gaze to learn what captures their interest and build on that. Through play your child develops socially, emotionally and physically. Outdoor play provides fun, stimulation, exercise and fresh air. It also contributes to a strong and healthy network of brain connections.

Sometimes parents have barriers that prevent them from being emotionally “present.” They may have experienced trauma IslandParent.ca

or neglect in their early life. It is most helpful for them to seek help from a trusted health provider. They can learn to be nurturing parents. Often, what it takes is learning to make sense of what has happened to them.

Sleep. Chances are that over a 24hour period your infant/child gets enough sleep. They may not do this on a schedule you would choose. Some babies learn to sleep right through the night from early in life while others seem to wake several times every night. Creating a sleep routine from the start of life is helpful. This can include putting babies to bed while they are still awake so they learn to fall asleep. It is thought that those babies also learn how to fall back asleep when they wake up in the night. Good luck with this one!

To learn more about which foods are ideal and how to bring your baby to the family table, check out KidCare Canada’s TV Talk Show with dietitian Kristen Yarker: kidcarecanada.org/videos What to do about screens? Children are always watching you. If you are fixated on your smartphone rather than on them, the message is clear. And you are modeling a behaviour they are sure to adopt when they have the opportunity.

Babies need your eye contact to develop a healthy brain. While they are awake in your arms look into their eyes. It is best for children under the age of 2 not to watch TV or screens. After that, minimal screen time is advised, ideally with you by their side. Encourage children to learn from interactions with objects and people.

By age 3 your child’s brain is almost 80 per cent the size of an adult brain. Your caring interactions with your child during the first years of life give your child the gift of a lifetime, a solid brain that provides the foundation for lifelong learning.

Estelle Paget is the Founder and Executive Director of KIDCARECANADA Society. A life-long educator, Estelle taught in universities in France and Canada for over 30 years and created university-wide programs.

IslandParent.ca

June 2019 21

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22  Island Parent Magazine

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June 2019  23

What’s the Buzz?

The fun of family beekeeping

W

e’ve all heard it. Bees are in trouble.

Due to pesticides, loss of natural food sources, climate change, and an increase in parasites, their numbers are declining. Bees are a vital part of our environment and their pollination skills are important for food production. But there’s good news. It is simple for you and your family to be a part of the solution. Leafcutter bees are a low-cost, low-maintenance way the whole family can help a species in need.

the super-pollination. In fact, leafcutters are far better pollinators than their cousins, the honey bees.

Leafcutter bees are native to North America and are active in the summer when temperatures are consistently in the 21˚C to 38˚C range. Living up to their names, they will chew perfect little circles out of leaves on your trees and plants and carry them back to their home to create cocoons for their fertilized eggs. Their favourite types

While kids and bees may not sound like a good combination, leafcutters are unlikely to sting. The male bees do not have stingers and the females are too busy, having the sole responsibility for building the cocoons that will hold their young. Female leafcutters will only sting if squashed. However, if you accidentally step on one, have no fear.

There is no record of anyone experiencing anaphylaxis from a leafcutter bee.

Leafcutter bees are ideal for families because they are easy to care for. As solitary bees, they don’t live in a hive, and they don’t produce honey or wax. With no need to be territorial, these bees don’t mind if you get up close and watch them work. And they’re so fun to watch, you’ll want to do just that.

So, what is the point of leafcutters if they don’t produce honey or wax? The leafcutter’s super power is its amazing pollination ability. If you’re a gardener, be prepared to watch your blossoms, fruit trees and vegetables flourish. The fuzzy little tummies of the female leafcutters attract pollen, which then falls off on neighbouring plants as they make their way back to their home. Cue

of plants are roses, lilacs, hostas and peas.

Yes, your leaves will show evidence of the leafcutters’ work, but don’t worry, your plants and trees won’t be harmed.

Once the bee has cut out a small piece of leaf or petal, she uses it to create a protective cocoon for her larva. She places a small ball of pollen and an egg inside, and seals the leaf around them using a combination of leaf juices and bee saliva. She continues this process until the nesting hole is full, and then packs in extra leaves or petals in at the end of the tube to protect the developing larva. Leafcutter cocoons are often beautiful, especially those made with flower petals.

Usually, the eggs produced in one summer do not develop and hatch until the following year. Sometimes, however, they hatch in the same summer. These are called second generation bees and they add to the pollination you’ll experience in your gardens.

Leafcutter bees have a short lifecycle.

The males emerge from the cocoons first.

They are slightly smaller than the females and have bright green eyes and a patch of white hair on the top of their head—like a

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24 Island Parent Magazine

IslandParent.ca

tiny bee mohawk. Male leafcutters spend only about two weeks of their life as a flying adult.

The female bees emerge from their cocoons up to two weeks later than the males.

They have black eyes and large—for a bee— jaws for cutting the leaves. You and your family will be able to watch the females in action for about a month. In cooler weather, this can be extended to six weeks.

As a native bee to the Island, leafcutters are an essential part of our ecosystem. Families can be a part of helping the population to resurge, while simultaneously teaching children about their role in protecting the environment.

Getting started with your leafcutters is easy. You’ll need just a few items that are easily found online, or perhaps at your local gardening store: a bee house, bee tubes, and leafcutter bee cocoons. If you’re handy, you can even build your own bee home. Instructions are also readily available online.

When the temperature is consistently at least 21˚C, set up your bee house, with cocoons, in a south-facing location. Make sure the house gets lots of early-morning sun as this will warm your bees, encouraging them to emerge from their cocoons. Some people have even held onto cocoons as their bees were emerging and watched as they hatched right in their hands.

Once the female bees emerge from their cocoons and have mated with the males, they’ll get right to work building cocoons and pollinating. As most leafcutters won’t travel more than 300 feet, you can expect to get all the benefits in your own yard.

Just be sure to have bee-friendly plants and trees readily available. For ideas visit bcfarmsandfood.com/plant-a-bee-attracting-garden.

In the late summer or fall, simply move the cocoons that have been built in your house to a mesh bag and store in your shed, or other protected location, over the winter. The mesh bag will help to protect your cocoons from pests. You’ll use those cocoons the following summer to start the process over again.

It’s that simple to do your part to help the bees. And in return, your leafcutters will not only ensure your gardens thrive, but will also provide hours of entertainment for the whole family.

D.L. Dux is a writer and communications coordinator at a small post-secondary institution in southeastern B.C. She enjoys raising mason and leafcutter bees at her home in Cranbrook.

IslandParent.ca

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N

inety per cent of the time, I consider myself to be a pretty decent parent. I care deeply about my child and I enjoy her company. I help her with homework and participate in school field trips. We talk about the world and make each other laugh. We go on adventures and love being together.

The other 10 per cent of the time, I feel like a failure. I raise my voice and lose my temper. I am short with her when I should be patient. I say things that I should not.

I am the worst version of myself. It is not that I think I should be a perfect parent, but I do want to be kind one. And 10 per cent of the bad behaviour feels like it cancels out the 90 per cent of good.

When I am calm and centered, I encourage my daughter to take deep breaths when she is angry. I remind her that just because she is mad, she is not allowed to be mean.

I bring her in close and hug her when she is misbehaving. Why is it so hard to follow my own good advice, in the heat of the moment?

It is amazing to me how easy it is to be an unfiltered version of yourself with those that you love most. To explode when you are angry or to say all of the things that come to mind with wild abandon. We feel safe together, so we let it all hang out rather than showing the restraint we do with those who are not in our inner circle.

In paying attention to these moments, I notice that they occur most often when I am tired, stressed or overloaded. There is no opportunity for me to stop and pause when I am running dry, as there is nothing left in my reserve tank. I am realizing that in order to be a better parent to my daughter, I need to start being a better parent to myself: offering up attention, love and care, rather than judgment and frustration.

As a single parent, it can be difficult to find time to rest and decompress. Life is busy and there are many moving parts.

It is hard to slow down. If I do not make space for myself on a daily basis, however, the fragile balance tips.

Over the last little while, I have been testing out some strategies for better managing the stresses of daily life. Here are some I find helpful: 1. Movement. The first thing that helps is a commitment to regular exercise. I need to

move my body every day. It can be as simple as taking a walk at lunch or a free online yoga class at home (doyogawithme.com).

Movement in any form is medicine—for the mind and body.

2. Meditation. A regular meditation practice is a good tool. Sitting still and paying attention to my breath for 10 minutes a day, first thing in the morning gives me an anchor in the moments when I later feel ungrounded. Deep, belly breaths really help to take the edge off of a difficult situation.

3. Rest. My daughter and I spend a lot of time together and I cherish it; I am also realizing it is essential that I have time to rest and to be alone. I aim to get her into bed early each evening, both so she can rest after a long day and so I am left with a pocket of time to myself. After she is asleep, I can take a hot bath, watch a show or read a book. I also like to go to bed early myself, as it is essential for my energy levels and overall well-being.

4. Reflection. When I am not at my best, I often regret the things that I say. In the moments of frustration or anger that arise, I am working to create a small space between the emotion and myself, to pull back and reflect. Who do I want to be in this moment? How do I want my child to remember it? Does this behaviour feed connection or separation? Although it is difficult, it really helps to shift the dynamic.

I feel fortunate that there is an opportunity, each and every day, to start new and recommit to being a better parent, partner and friend. Love is amazingly resilient, forgiving and patient, but is also needs to be fed a steady diet of kindness, tenderness and joy.

An important first step is to start by acting as a parent to myself, to make sure that I am fed, cared for and rested. To give myself time for things that fill me up and build my capacity to pause in those difficult and challenging moments. If I do not, and I allow myself to run on empty, I am guaranteed to tip over into the dreaded 10 percent.

Lora McKay is a writer living in Victoria, B.C. She is mother to an amazing nine year old daughter and a rescue dog named Lucky. You can read more of her work at: breath-by-breath.com.

June 2019  27

Swan Lake

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28  Island Parent Magazine

IslandParent.ca

Not So Fast I

t was the swimming lessons that did it.

That caused our family to reevaluate the busyness of our lives.

I rushed from work to pick up my two kids from two different locations for their swimming lessons and spent the next 30 minutes catching my breath. After the lesson, the three of us crammed into a small changing room while I barked at 5 and 7-year-olds to “hurry up and change.” By the time we got to the car, I was grumpy.

The kids were hungry. And I was exhausted. I had been rushing around since waking up 11 hours ago. The worst part?

My kids already knew how to swim so what the heck were we doing this for?

Busy: That’s how most parents I know describe their lives.

We’re overcommitted, overscheduled and overworked. We’re carpooling and juggling activities while keeping the refrigerator full and planning summer camps three months in advance. We want our kids to have every opportunity to explore their interests, be active and succeed.

All of these things are important, and no one could fault any family for wanting the best for their children. But when it comes at the expense of our happiness, we have to ask ourselves: Is it worth it?

That Monday afternoon, after those unnecessary swimming lessons, I began to wonder if our lives needed to look like this. My husband and I talked it over, and we decided to take stock of our schedule.

When the new school year rolled around, we decided that one activity per kid per weekday was all we could handle, with an emphasis on keeping the weekIslandParent.ca

ends clear. Our daughter chose gymnastics and Brownies. Our son chose Beavers and karate.

Just like that, we were down to three weekday commitments and one on the weekend. Nothing else.

There have been times when I wasn’t sure the new schedule was working.

For the first few weekends, our daughter complained that she was bored. She begged me to make play dates with her friends. It was a reality check. I had longed for more unstructured time with her, while she wanted to be somewhere else.

But on those mornings when we lounged around in our pajamas—she played Lego and I drank coffee—I knew we were right where we were supposed to be.

My son went to only two of his 12 karate classes. Both of them required exaggerated fatherly enthusiasm to keep him interested. We decided it wasn’t worth our time to force him to participate in something he clearly didn’t enjoy, and have decided to wait until he is older to register him for any organized activities.

For now, our weekends are free to explore Mt. Doug, swim at the pool or go on family bike rides.

With the end of the current school year approaching, it’s the perfect time to reflect on your family’s year and remember that you have choices. You can decide how you want your lives to look, how you want your children’s lives to look— for a little while anyway. If scheduling a busy week energizes and excites you and works for your family, keep going.

But if you feel like we did, I want to let you know that busyness doesn’t have to be what defines your family.

Getting our family into alignment is still a work-in-progress, and as the kids grow I expect our schedules and expectations will also have to change. For now, I want to take it slow and model for our children that we always have a choice.

Sarah Seitz is a working mother, wife and writer. She spends her free time cutting off crusts and uses good coffee and humour to get through the day.

June 2019 29

Summer Camps!

poppetcreative.com

Goal Setting & Work/Life Balance

I

C R E AT I V E

can say with certainty that mompreneurs have all experienced, at different times in our lives, the feeling of being overstretched, out of balance and moving on autopilot from one responsibility to the next. It can be overwhelming to feel that we may be living on the sidelines of our own lives without true joy and sometimes even wishing away time. Wishing for the next stage or the easier stage in life. Wishing for our babies to sleep

Toddler drop-ins, after school art classes and summer camps for your creative kids.

through the night, the laundry to already be folded, wishing for our business to require less hands-on time. Wishing for there to be more hours in a day.

All of that unhelpful wishful thinking is a huge time suck and can feel exhausting. Having been on both ends of the balancing teeter totter I can say with confidence that feeling balanced is significantly better to the alternative. I have found that strategizing and planning for personal and professional balance is something I consider as part of my mompreneur job description.

If I’m not balanced, my family and my business are negatively impacted.

Balance is a personal achievement and an intentional practice. Accepting that busy periods in our lives ebb and flow is central to knowing how to approach the 30 Island Parent Magazine

daily mompreneur hustle. Balance doesn’t come simply or without challenges and it isn’t a reliable given. Finding equilibrium within the dynamics of work, family and friendships is entirely interdependent on personal resources such as: available time, a partner’s support, reliable childcare, finances, personal and family health, emotional well-being, inclination and proclivity. Naturally having all of these personal resources available during goal setting makes sustainable balance more likely to attain. That said, commonly one or more of these resources will be missing or unavailable. I believe that with clear goal setting, balance, at least on some level, is still achievable. Saying ‘yes’ to the important prospects or responsibilities and ‘no’ to the ambitions that are easier to let go of, will make finding balance exponentially more attainable.

When asked for advice on how to achieve balance, local mompreneur, Chantelle Bowden of Wild & Free Organics says to own your time and strip away the mom guilt that can happen when you

work. For Bowden, it’s important to understand that her work is important and to allow distance between her home life and business so she is able to feel fully invested in the present moment—whether it be time with her family or time spent on her business.

I also appreciate the distinction between family time and work time. When it comes to creating balance and determining my priorities, I use personal goal setting. The questions that I ask myself are: Does saying yes to this task accomIslandParent.ca

plish a direct goal? Does it fit with my ethical value system? Does it impact my family favourably? In answering these questions I feel better able to focus on the goal, and feel energized about the work I’m doing. Life is busy and managing family commitments and business responsibilities takes intentional work and planning.

Goal Setting can be as simple or extravagant as you choose. My goal setting consists of writing simple and manageable checklists. I write lists to prioritize my commitments and responsibilities and find it very fulfilling to cross them off as I accomplish the goals. I also set three monthly goals that guide my value system. For example, this month my top three personal goals are to streamline my website, make personal time for self care, and be in the moment and present for my children during family time. If checklists are not something that fit for your goal setting, another resource I have used is the Get To Work Book from organization expert and mompreneur Elise Joy, of the Elise Gets Crafty podcast and elisejoy. com.

Regardless of what system you use, find one that works for you and feels authentic. Consistency and time management are integral pieces of the balance puzzle. In the words of The Fringe Hours author and goal setting expert, Jessica N. Turner, “Give yourself permission to be you. You are not a robot without feelings. Life impacts you. Giving yourself permission to be your truest self, to pursue your career and to miss things from time to time provides freedom from the shoudas, couldas, and wouldas.”

Candace Negm is a mother of two who finds passion and purpose in supporting Canadian entrepreneurs and curating the slow fashion movement at her boutique in Fernwood square, Thistle and Wren.

IslandParent.ca

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JUNEFAMILYCALENDAR For more information and calendar updates throughout the month visit IslandParent.ca

V Victoria & Area P Peninsula W Westshore

D Duncan & Area N Nanaimo & Area C Courtenay/Comox

1 SATURDAY V

Busy Beavers

10am at Elk/Beaver Lake Regional Park Bring your young ones to the shores of Beaver Lake Ponds to see an active beaver lodge. Children will learn more about this amazing mammal and its marvelous adaptations. Free. crd.bc.ca/parks

Floral Fun for Kids

V

2pm at Cattle Point Three geologists from the Geological Survey, BC Ministry of Energy and Mines, will be on site to show you how to recognize key clues of the ancient and not-so-ancient history of the area. Free. friendsofuplandspark.org

Vancouver Island Children’s Book Festival

National Health & Fitness Day

haven’t fully explored the trail. $12/person. rdn.bc.ca/recreation

N

2 SUNDAY W

1pm at East Sooke Regional Park We can co-exist with these magnificent forest dwellers. Join a CRD Regional Parks naturalist to learn about the life of the black bear. Free. crd.bc.ca/parks 10am at Benson Creek Falls Regional Park, Parksville An RLC Park naturalist will show you the trails, unique aspects and opportunities. Great for

11am at Loudon Park, Nanaimo An introduction to equipment and water safety, plus you get out on the water. $10/person.

She’s in Nature Guided Hike

N

1pm at Ammonite Falls/Benson Creek Falls Regional Park, Parksville Cascading falls highlight a rock sheet filled with ammonite fossils. The hike is approximately one hour at a leisurely pace, optional rope section to P access the base of the waterfall. $18/person. rdn.bc.ca/recreation

Panorama Recreation & Greenglade Community Centre A comprehensive campaign to raise awareness about disability, accessibility, and social inclusion.

Free admission to drop-in programs. panoramarecreation.ca

Bear Necessities

N

Discover Rowing

Noon at Transfer Beach, Ladysmith Get up, get out, get active with a family workout.

All-ages circuit to help you keep moving and working out together. Free. ladysmith.ca

N Parks 101 Tour

In Downtown Nanaimo Meet authors and illustrators. Preschool sessions, music and activities, book signings. Free. bookfest.ca

N both newcomers and those who are familiar but

10am at Pine Street Community Gardens 271 Pine St Learn how to garden as a family through handson activities and child-friendly growing projects.

Parent participation required. $10/person. recreation.nanaimo.ca

P Access Awareness Day

1pm at The Gardens at HCP, 505 Quayle Rd Challenge their creativity and inspire their love of flowers and all things grown with a fresh floral design class just for kids! This “make and take” class will teach the fundamentals of basic floral design using several techniques. $20/child. hcp.ca

Seaside Geotour

Parent & Child Gardening

4 TUESDAY Middle and Senior School Admissions Info Session

V

6pm at Glenlyon Norfolk School 801 Bank Street Meet members of the GNS Admissions Office to learn about GNS, the IB curriculum, our cocurricular offerings and other key features of the GNS experience. admissions@mygns.ca | mygns.ca

5 WEDNESDAY

N Starlight Skate

N

6:30pm at Nanaimo Ice Centre Come out and enjoy the soft light “stars” and passive LED glow lights. Regular admission.

Age 3-16 Years

GET READY FOR SOME FUN IN THE SUN THIS SUMMER! Spectacular summer camps for kids ages 3 to 16 including arts, sports, science, tech, outdoor adventure and more!

Re�is��� a� 250-478-8384 | westshorerecreation.ca 32 Island Parent Magazine

IslandParent.ca

6 THURSDAY

V

Spring Fair

10am at Mount St. Mary Hospital Emergency Preparedness Workshop V 861 Fairfield Road 1pm at Burnside Gorge Community Centre Feature something for everyone including kids 471 Cecelia Rd activities, entertainment, food, and a silent aucAre you and your family prepared for an emertion. Free. gency such as a power outage, winter storm, mountstmary.ca earthquake or tsunami? Learn about the hazards that can affect Victoria, what to include in your Going Crabby W emergency kits, what you can do to protect your 1pm at Witty’s Lagoon Regional Park home from an earthquake, and how to reunite Meet some of the crabs and their cousins that with your loved ones after a disaster. Free. make Witty’s Lagoon their special home. Join a 250-920-3373 | VictoriaReady.ca CRD Regional Parks naturalist for some intertidal exploration and discover these creatures up close Junior School Admissions V and personal. Be prepared to get your feet wet Info Session (bring sandals or beach shoes). Free.

6pm at Glenlyon Norfolk School crd.bc.ca 1701 Beach Drive Meet members of the GNS Admissions Office Storytime is a…Drag W to learn about GNS, the IB curriculum, our co2:30pm at Juan de Fuca Branch Library curricular offerings and other key features of the Join Drag Queens, Kings and Things for a fun GNS experience. afternoon. Enjoy a storytime, music and sing250-370-6801 | admissions@mygns.ca alongs, crafts and games. For ages 5-8. Presented by Staches and Lashes Collective. Free. gvpl.ca FRIDAY

7

Lip Sync Battle

P Indigenous Creation Stories

6pm at Greenglade Community Centre Channel your inner pop star, rapper or rocker.

Solo or with a few friends and back-up dancers, choose your song, get in costume and hit the stage. Prizes. For grades 6-9. panoramarecreation.ca

8 SATURDAY World Oceans Day 10am at Esquimalt Gorge Park Celebrate our marine waters with fun activities, food and live music. Get out and celebrate our oceans. Free. worldfish.org

V

V Youth Life Skills Cooking— Enchiladas V

2:30pm at Nellie McClung Branch Library In honour of National Indigenous History Month, come for creation stories and Indigenous crafts with Gordy Bear. Gordy Bear comes from the Cree Nation of Sandy Bay, Saskatchewan, and has spent many years devoted to sweat-lodge ceremonies, sitting with Elders and learning the stories and language of his people. Free. gvpl.ca

9 SUNDAY Learn to Fish

13 THURSDAY 6pm at Gordon Head Recreation Centre 4100 Lambrick Way Learn safe knife skills and meal planning and gain hands-on experience cooking with fresh, local ingredients creating mealtime favourites. $10.

250-475-7111 | saanich.ca

14 FRIDAY N

Family Fishing Day

3:30pm at Colliery Dam Park, Nanaimo Learn to fish, make crafts, play games, and help N with a trout release. nanaimo.ca

1pm at Colliery Dam Join the Freshwater Fisheries Society of BC and learn the basics of freshwater fishing. Fishing rods provided. Rain or shine. Parent participation required. 5-15 years. Free.

15 SATURDAY V

Sensory Snoop 10am at Francis/King Regional Park Bring your preschooler to explore the sights and sounds. Wake up your senses on a wander through the forest. Look for summer colours, listen for birds calling, smell forest perfume and more. 5 years and under. Free. crd.bc.ca/parks

Family Fun Walk

W

10am at East Sooke Regional Park Enjoy a walk in the park with your family to celebrate Father’s Day. Join a CRD Regional Parks naturalist and discover the beauty of this wooded parkland. Free. crd.bc.ca/parks IslandParent.ca

June 2019 33

ONGOING:

Preschool V

Family Storytime

Opening June 28

Greater Victoria Public Libraries Fun-filled stories, songs, rhymes and puppets. For young children and their families; children under 3 must be accompanied by an adult.

Drop-in until May 18. gvpl.ca

V

Stay & Play Greater Victoria Public Libraries Enjoy social time and free play following Family Storytime. For young children and their families; children under 3 must be accompanied by an adult. Drop-in until May 18. gvpl.ca

V

Baby Time Also playing:

GREAT BEAR RAINFOREST AIRCRAFT CARRIER VOLCANOES • CUBA

Greater Victoria Public Libraries Learn songs, rhymes and fingerplays to use with your baby every day.

For babies 0-15 months and parent or caregiver. Drop-in until May 17. gvpl.ca

and more!

Located inside the Royal BC Museum • 250-480-4887 • imaxvictoria.com IMAX® is a registered trademark of IMAX Corporation.

V

Kindergym Drop-In

10am at Gordon Head Recreation Centre, 4100 Lambrick Way Tuesday, Thursdays & Saturdays. A movement program designed for children and their caregiver to play together. Balls, hoops, ride-on toys, climbers and mats allow children to creatively explore. Songs and circle time. Get active together for life. $3/child. saanich.ca

N

LaFF Mornings Mondays 9:30am–noon at Aggie Hall, Ladysmith Play-based learning stations to explore and enjoy, including a reading centre, craft area, Brio train table, snack table and more. Meet other parents, health and social service providers.

250-210-0870

34 Island Parent Magazine

IslandParent.ca

V stuff is that gets stuck between your toes. Parent

Storytime is a…Drag

for family adventures and avid hikers. Ask questions before heading out on guided hikes or selfguided exploration in Regional Parks. Get advice on clothing, equipment and route planning to stay TUESDAY safe and enjoy the outdoors. Mandatory for all Emergency Preparedness Workshop V new participants in Alpine Hikes. $14/person.

7pm at James Bay Community School Centre rdn.bc.ca/recreation 140 Oswego St. Are you and your family prepared for an emerSUNDAY THURSDAY gency such as a power outage, winter storm, Raymond James Father’s Day P earthquake or tsunami? Learn about the hazards Longest Day of Play Block Party N Walk/Run for Prostate Cancer that can affect Victoria, what to include in your 5pm at Spirit Square, Market Square, Boys & 9:45am at Vancouver Island Technology Park emergency kits, what you can do to protect your Girls Club Play area, 630 2nd Ave, Ladysmith 4464 Markham Street home from an earthquake, and how to reunite Face painting, photo wall, parachute games, Celebrate Father’s Day at Victoria’s best family with your loved ones after a disaster. Free. obstacle course, bean bag toss, water bottle event. 5K and 3K walk/run plus Dash for Dad, ac- 250-920-3373 | VictoriaReady.ca bowling, bubble station, mini hockey and much tivities for kids, free pancake breakfast and more. more. Free.

250-652-5350 | doingitfordad.org WEDNESDAY 2:30pm at Central Branch Library Join Drag Queens, Kings and Things for a fun afternoon. Enjoy a storytime, music and sing-alongs, crafts and games. For ages 5-8. Presented by Staches and Lashes Collective. Registered. Free. gvpl.ca

participation required. 3-6 years. $10/person.

18

16

20

19

V She’s in Nature Guided Hike

Family Sunday 2pm at Art Gallery of Greater Victoria Get ready for more family fun. An afternoon of exploring hands-on-art making and ideas. aggv.ca

N

10am at Copley Ridge, Parksville This hike is approximately 6km in length, the recreational trail has an elevation gain of 200m. $18/person. rdn.bc.ca/recreation

21 FRIDAY

Wicked Witch of the West: Kansas or Bust

P

7pm at Mary Winspear Centre 2243 Beacon Avenue, Sidney In this hilarious sequel to the Wizard of Oz, the Under the Surface N Wicked Witch of the West has come back to life 10am at Pipers Lagoon Hiking Information Session N and is in Kansas, looking for her broom, the slipSearch for critters and learn about the life sur6:30pm at Oceanside Place Arena, Parksville pers, and that girl. $20. rounding the shoreline. Discover what that slimy A local alpine guide shares tips and resources marywinspear.ca

Here at Sutubra Naturals & Organics, we bring you nothing but the best quality baby and child products for every day use.

Located at Hillside Shopping Centre (N. Dairy Rd. Entrance)

www.sutubrabeauty.com | 250-999-8038 naturalbeautyvic@gmail.com

IslandParent.ca

June 2019 35

ONGOING:

Family W

Vic West Toy Library

9:30am at HighPoint Community Church, 949 Fullerton Ave Every other Saturday. Borrow toys, games and play materials on a regular basis. Current stock for ages 6 mos-12 yrs. $15/6 months or $30/year.

250-383-6290 | dawn@pointful.ca

V

The James Bay Community Market Saturday 9am at the corner of Menzies and Superior Street An open air, rain or shine market operating on the corner of Menzies and Superior in James Bay every Saturday, May to September from 9am-3pm. Free. jamesbaymarket.com | 250-381-5323

V

Fantastic Fridays at St. Luke Cedar Hill

4:30pm at St. Luke’s Hall, Cedar Hill Cross Road at Cedar Hill Road, Featuring Messy Church. A family-friendly fun, games, food, crafts, music and stories. Dinner provided. First Friday each month (October to June).

Free.

250-477-6741 | stlukesvictoria.ca

Grandparents Raising Grandchildren Support Circles A safe, supportive place to meet others in a similar situation and to share information and resources.

250-384-8042 | parentsupportbc.ca

Parent Support Circles Parenting isn’t always easy. Sometimes it helps to talk things through with other parents. At the Parent Support Services Society of BC, they believe that every parent is the expert of her/his own family.

250-384-8042 | parentsupportbc.ca

N

Drop-In Science Studio

Tuesdays 3–4:30pm at NS3 Science Studio #101–4355 Jingle Pot Rd, Nanaimo Build Lego creations, then program them to move using drag and drop software. Students can also explore the many hands-on science exhibits and experiments. nanaimoscience.org

N

Family Frolics

5:45pm at Frank Jameson Community Centre, 810 6th Ave, Ladysmith Drop in right after work to burn off some energy and get ready for bed.

Play with balls and tunnels, run around and meet a new friend. For children 0-6 years.

250-210-0870

V

Moss Street Farmer’s Market Saturdays 10am-2pm at Sir James Douglas School A great place to meet local farmers, buy local food and crafts, and connect with your community. Live music. Free.

N

Lions Swim Sundays 2-3:30pm at Beban Pool, Nanaimo Enjoy a swim, sauna, soak in the hot tub, or the steam room. recreation.nanaimo.ca.

36 Island Parent Magazine

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P

National Indigenous People’s Day 6:30pm at Panorama Recreation Celebrate by enjoying a free swim. panoramarecreation.ca

Serving the Families of Vancouver Island for Over 23 Years

22 SATURDAY Wonderful Woodpeckers

V

10am at Francis/King Regional Park Discover all of the tricks of the woodpecker trade.

What makes them so good at what they do? Join a CRD Regional Parks naturalist and learn how to identify different woodpeckers by sight, sound and habits on this fun guided walk. All ages. Free. crd.bc.ca/parks

P

MS Family Day

4pm at Power To Be, 4633 Prospect Lake Rd Are you looking to start your summer off playing outside? Have you ever wanted to get out on the water with your kids for a paddle? Free for families affected by MS. Advanced registration and waivers for all participants required.

1-800-268-7582 ext.7312 katie.ganassin@mssociety.ca

The Kiddies Store

P I PA • Rear-facing for infants 4–35 lbs, up to 32" • True lock™ installation makes set up swift and simple with rigid latch system • Ultra-durable lightweight shell—weighs just 7.7 lbs • Removable, full coverage two position and protective UPF 50+ canopy with flip out eyeshade • Lightweight carry handle is ergonomically designed to tote with ease • Premium micro knit fabric with certified Oeko-Tex fabric • Mesh Peek-a-boo window

N

9am at Qualicum Commons, Parksville Save a life when only seconds count. This six-hour course focuses on the skills needed to recognize and respond to cardiovascular emergencies and choking for adults, children and babies. rdn.bc.ca/recreation

22/23 SATURDAY/SUNDAY Red Cross Standard First Aid with AED/CPR

C

9am at Qualicum Commons Two-day course offers first aid and CPR skills for those who need training for work, or would like IslandParent.ca

s St.

Red Cross AED/CPR C

Finlayson St. Dougla

3045–C Douglas St., Victoria, BC V8T 4N2 250-386-2229 www.tjskids.com

Larch St.

Entrance off Larch St.

T.J.’S

COMPREHENSIVE FAMILY DENTISTRY family centered practice extended hours evenings and weekends the latest equipment and caring staff request an appointment online

saanichdentalgroup.com 119–1591 McKenzie Ave, Victoria 250 477 7321 info@saanichdentalgroup.com Victoria’s favourite dentists believe a healthy smile starts early. Free first visit for children under 5.

June 2019 37

more knowledge to respond to emergencies at home. Training includes home hazards, accident prevention, safety education, CPR level C, first aid skills for common emergencies, how to use an automated external defibrillator (AED). Retraining recommended every three years. $163/person. rdn.bc.ca/recreation

Community Dinner & Games Night 5:30pm at Oaklands Community Centre Meet your neighbours, share a meal, and play cards and board games. oaklandscommunitycentre.com

N

Glow in the Dark Skate

to get your feet wet (bring sandals or beach shoes). Free. crd.bc.ca/parks

V

3pm at Cliff McNabb Arena Skate in an atmosphere of dimmed lighting and special effects. Regular admission.

N

Wildlife Sea Kayak Tour

9:45am at Nanoose Bay Come for a paddle where the views are fabulous, the wildlife is abundant and the quiet is utterly reSUNDAY laxing. Stop for a picnic on the beach (bring your Going Crabby W Learn to Fish N own lunch). Certified guide, gear, instruction in paddling strokes and safety, and kayak included.

1pm at Witty’s Lagoon Regional Park 10:30am at Long Lake (Louden Park) Perfect for beginners. Double kayaks available.

Meet the crabs and their cousins that make Join the Freshwater Fisheries Society of BC and Children 10+ welcome with an adult. $79/person.

Witty’s Lagoon home. Join a CRD Regional Parks learn the basics of freshwater fishing. Fishing naturalist for intertidal exploration. Be prepared rods provided. Rain or shine. Parent participation rdn.bc.ca/recreation required. 5-15 years. Free.

23

ONGOING:

Children/Teens V

Sketchy Thursdays Thursdays, 6:30-8:30pm at Central Branch Library, Victoria Bring sketchbook, pencils and pens and join Nate Davis for an evening of sketching. Open to all ages and abilities. Drop-in. Until June 27.

BC Summer Reading Club All Greater Victoria Public Libraries A free, self-paced program that encourages children to read (or be read to) throughout the summer.

Whether reading at home or on holidays, you can track your daily reading and enjoy weekly incentives. Beginning June 27, drop by your local library to pick up a reading record. Ages 12 and under. gvpl.ca

N

Everyone Welcome Swims At Bowen Park Kin Outdoor Pool Saturdays and Sundays 1-3pm, June 1-September 1. Come swim in the heated pool. $3. nanaimowhiterapids.ca

V

Museum Tots Saturdays 11am at Maritime Museum, 634 Humboldt St , Victoria A weekly program introducing children 2-5 to the fun world of museum learning. New theme each week, allowing children to learn through crafts, play, games, song, and dance.

250-385-4222

Toonie Teen Swim

N

7-9pm at Ravensong Aquatic Centre, Parksville The pool is reserved for the teens! $2 until June 28.

38 Island Parent Magazine

IslandParent.ca

24 MONDAY Healthy Start Fair

29 SATURDAY

30 SUNDAY

N Splish Splash Swim

11am at Nanaimo Child Development Centre 1135 Nelson St, Nanaimo Family resources, healthy eating, Early Learning Development supports, Triple P Parenting, vision screening, pregnancy support, snacks, games, stories and activities. Free. nanaimoearlyyears.org

N Terrific Turtles

V

10am at Ravensong Aquatic Centre The lifeguards are going to bring out the pool toys for everyone to enjoy. Regular admission. rdn.bc.ca/recreation

Noon at Swan Lake Christmas Hill Nature Sanctuary, 3873 Swan Lake Rd Turtle nesting season is upon us. Find out about these scaly wonders with games, crafts and visits with our biggest celebrity: the Western Painted Active Kids 1K Fun Run P Turtle, Wrinkles. $5/person suggested donation.

10:30am at Panorama Recreation 250-479-0211 | swanlake.bc.ca Fun Zone with inflatable plus field games before and after run. Run starts at 11am. Free.

The Beach Rocks P THURSDAY panoramarecreation.ca 10am at Island View Beach Regional Park Multiculturalism Day N Join a CRD Regional Parks naturalist for a glimpse 12:30pm at Museum Way, Downtown Nanaimo of the creatures that live beneath the rocks. Free.

Enjoy a cultural splash with music and dance that crd.bc.ca/parks reflects ancestral traditions of our friends and neighbours. Artists from Snuneymuxw, China, India, the Middle East, Scotland and more present the beauty and power of diversity in cultural expressions. Free.

27

School’s Out for Summer Swim

N

REfreshing SMOOTHIES

1pm at Ravensong Aquatic Centre, Parksville Stay active with a swim. The lifeguards will have the toys out for a splashing good time. Reduced rate admission. rdn.bc.ca/recreation

28 FRIDAY Coast Capital Free Skate

N

4:15pm at Cliff McNabb Arena Skate and helmet rentals included. Free.

End of School Pool Party

N

6:30pm at Ladysmith Parks & Recreation Kick off summer with a giant splash. Games and activities for all ages. $5/person.

Coast Capital Free Swim

N

7pm at Beban Park Pool Admission to pool only; weight room not included.

Free. recreation.nanaimo.ca

Pick up your copy of Island Parent at any Serious Coffee cafÊ 5P ÜOE POF OFBS ZPV HP UP TFSJPVTDPòFF DPN

IslandParent.ca

June 2019  39

The Perils of Potty Training P

otty training.

It’s the first time in my parenthood career where I have felt fully and completely stumped, although as of late, we seem to be making progress—it’s just taking a little longer.

For those who managed to pull off potty training relatively early, I applaud you and think it takes a special kind of parent to get it done, and likely your little one was just ready.

For the rest of us who feel challenged with making the commitment that modern-day training tells us to do, I’m here to remind you that life can still carry on as usual, and training can still be successful, albeit a slower wavering of periodic regression.

Those who have read Oh Crap!, the potty training book, and did the whole stay-at-home-for-days-with-your-naked-little-one will tell you, it’s the only way to go if you want to see results.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard, “Once you take

away the diapers, just never bring them back.” (Do Pull-Ups count?)

I’m not saying that we’re incapable of forfeiting three to four days of our lives to stay home and do nothing but chase after a naked bum and clean up accidents, but what I can conclude is that we have come a long way as potty-training parents without obliging to those rigid guidelines for success. And perhaps our little guy just isn’t ready to make the full commitment yet either.

Maybe it’s because I have a boy and, rumour has it, they take a bit longer (he’s only just turned three).

But dealing with number two’s is still challenging in our household invoking fear, constipation, many accidents, and occasionally, some long-awaited success. Pees have been nearly mastered for months due to consistency of a reward system and of us being cognizant of his bladder at all times. That means physically taking him to the potty systemati-

Summer Camp: July

July 22–25 | 9:30am–12:30pm | Instructor: Julia Dillon-Davis

During four morning sessions, participants are introduced to acting for camera, auditioning for film and TV, and what it’s like to be on set. Each day actors will explore their creativity through improv games, scene creation and characterization.

Summer Camp: August

August 12–15 | 9:30am–12:30pm | Instructor: Julia Dillon-Davis These classes offer participants a chance to explore scenes and practice auditioning skills in a tight timeframe. Actors will receive feedback on their work and get to practice applying direction and new approaches.

Each workshop will also include games and scene creation.

Also check out our ongoing

Kids Classes

Saturdays 12:30pm–3pm with Instructor: Julia Dillon-Davis 202–734 Aldebury St

vadarts.com

250.580.2588 40 Island Parent Magazine

IslandParent.ca

cally (first thing in the morning and in between daily transitions) rather than only waiting for him to give us the cue.

As for a reward system, small treats like Smarties, Rockets, real-fruit gummies and stickers are readily available beside every bathroom in the house. One of the most important things to reinforce, I find, is genuine excitement for every successful go. Now, he seems to look forward to impressing us with pees, and I can’t wait for the day where he can freely excuse himself for number twos, too.

We have for the most part gone about our days without diapers or Pull-Ups, and I would agree that in order for healthy progression, children need to feel the discomfort of accidents without the protection of a familiar diaper, however, I do believe that life should carry on as usual for the parents, and if that means putting on pull-ups intermittently to avoid the risk of a public accident, or to simply allow them to relieve themselves comfortably, then that sounds preferable to me. Over the long weekends, we have spent a good amount of time attempting the “cold-turkey” technique, where he is naked all day and we race him to the potty quickly, with some success here and there. These times have mostly resulted in extreme soiling down bare pant legs, in and around the toilet and tub, and truth be told, cleaning up after these episodes have been some of the foulest and most frustrating moments of Mom-Life to date. I’m talking up to five baths and no clean clothes in one given day. Frustrating because these Littles can be so advanced in some ways, talking full sentences and smart as a whip, yet unable to make a successful trip to potty to relieve themselves.

Nevertheless, I still prefer the inconsistency of accidents over the longer-term than sacrificing the ability to leave the house for days and to expedite a course that just might not be compatible for every little one. And honestly, based on the feedback he’s given us, maybe he’s just not ready for the intensity of cold-turkey training. But he’s getting closer every day and we’ve done it our way, and that to me is just A-okay!

Natasha Mills, an Islander of 25 years now, enjoys sharing the journey of parenthood and all Vancouver Island has to offer on her lifestyle blog. @mommamillsblog and mommamillsblog. com.

IslandParent.ca

EMMANUEL SUMMER DAY CAMPS Dates

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8:30am–5:30pm $190 9:00am–3:00pm $130

Aug 6–9 (4 days) Sports, Sports & More Sports Grade 1–5

8:30am–5:30pm $150 9:00am–3:00pm $105

Aug 12–16 Construction 101 Revisited Grade 1–5

8:30am–5:30pm $190 9:00am–3:00pm $130

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Summer Kids Camps 2019 In Cowichan Bay

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www.alpinestable.com June 2019 41

Into the Woods Unplug to find connection

Community M Board Art Gallery of Greater Victoria aggv.ca

Camp Pringle CampPringle.com

Lindsay Trowell, Counsellor & Parenting Specialist lindsaytrowell.com

Mothering Touch motheringtouch.ca

Phoenix Theatre phoenixtheatres.ca

Royal BC Museum royalbcmuseum.bc.ca

Victoria Children’s Choir VictoriaChildrensChoir.ca

Victoria Conservatory of Music vcm.bc.ca

Enquire about brochure or magazine distribution in Greater Victoria:

sales@islandparent.ca 42 Island Parent Magazine

y family and I have been hiking the extensive trails in and around the Southern Vancouver Island region for almost 10 years now. From the beautiful, groomed, paths at Thetis Lake Park, to the backcountry trails of Sooke’s Regional Hills, my husband, our two kids, and I have enjoyed many a good stomp in the local woods. In fact, hiking has become our go-to activity when planning meaningful family time. Fortunately, there is no shortage of amazing hiking trails to choose from in the Greater Victoria Area.

Over 100km of trails, annually maintained by the CRD, are available for exploring, making it easy to get outside, as a family, for a hike. Hiking on this beloved island meets my family’s needs for an affordable and physically engaging activity that connects us with nature, and, rather unexpectedly, connects us as a family.

We began our journey into the world of hiking with leisurely walks at local gems: Lower Thetis Lake trail, sections of the Galloping Goose, and the quiet, nearly abandoned roads within Royal Roads’ forests. They were stroller friendly and picturesque, and perfectly suited to our preschooler’s stamina at the time.

On these walks my husband and I would stroll, the kids setting our inconsistent pace, while pushing a three-year-old’s necessities—juice boxes, snacks, attachment toy—in a buggy alongside them. These early hikes were relaxed, almost aimless, and the kids would stop at their leisure to inspect nature’s treasures: a rock that caught their eye, a fallen leaf on the trail, a bustling ant hill. Upon these discoveries we would huddle together, pretending to be explorers or princesses, to examine the day’s finds.

We enjoyed lengthy, unplanned chats about our surroundings: why the fallen leaf isn’t on a tree anymore, where the ants are going, or we’d debate if the rock was put on the trail by fairies for us.

At the end of our forest adventures we’d trudge home with tired kids and, surprisingly, refreshed parents. On occasion, if the outing was an enormous success, our kids would re-pay us by going down for an afternoon nap. Yes! So our love for being in the outdoors as a family was not born from a deeply-rooted desire to connect, as a family, with nature.

Nope. The connection we found was purely a by-product of two disoriented parents’

desperate attempts to tire out a toddler and a preschooler—without spending money—so our kids would sleep for 90 minutes on a Saturday afternoon.

But, really, isn’t that like, 75 per cent of all parenting?

I first fell in love with our family’s nature walks for their ability to locate my kids offswitch. But I soon began to notice other good things happening from our treks together. I found that as we walked along the trails, my husband and I would talk to each other. And the conversation would come easily too— seldom interrupted with “just a minute” or, “what did you say.”

In the woods we would give each other our full attention. No cell phones going off, no screens or schedule-related emergencies to compete with. We found we could speak to each other in a way we weren’t speaking at home.

At home, we were being pulled apart by the unending demands of caring for two young children. But in the woods, household distractions didn’t come between us. We were talking, listening, and enjoying our family. So, along with our kids burning off energy on these walks, my husband and I were improving our connection to each other, too.

Our kids are now in grade school and the need to engage them isn’t as consuming as it once was. We still look forward to bedtime, but our family feels more relaxed than it did in the early parenting years. Now, when we hike, the trails are often strenuous and uphill.

Instead of naptimes, the rewards are spectacular waterfalls and stunning viewpoints atop rugged mountains. We still have gear to haul, but not in our old, all-terrain stroller; we have hiking packs. And the gear has changed too, the plush toys and sticky juice bottles have been replaced with safety bells, water filtration systems, and blister band-aids.

Not every hike is several hours and kilometres long, but some are. Others are visits to a lake for a quick spin around it on foot.

But, the result is still the same: family time in the woods where we find our connection to each other.

Katie Duff is a freelance writer living in Sooke; she is the mom to two happy hikers! She can be reached at katieduffwrites777@gmail.com.

IslandParent.ca

Ode to the Earth Every day is a good day to celebrate our connection to nature. Enjoy nature through hiking, beachcombing, or taking strolls in local parks. Bring nature into your garden with plants that attract butterflies and hummingbirds. Plant a tree or a vegetable garden.

Inspire children to get excited about being outdoors by listening to these kids’ music albums about Mother Earth and the animals and creatures that live in our beautiful country.

Owl Singalong

by Raffi

Raffi is a Canadian legendary music producer, kids’ entertainer and ecology advocate. Owl Singalong is for all listeners who love owls. It features 16 new songs with a range of styles and a variety of instruments including strings, mandolin and ukulele. The title track “Owl Singalong” was inspired by the owls near Raffi’s home on Salt Spring Island. Flap your wings and “hoot” like an owl while you sing-along at the chorus.

“Who Hoo Could I Be” is a fun animal guessing song with more owls hooting. Other toetapping tunes on this album include “I Nod My Head,” “The Lion Pokey,” and in French “Dans La Foret.” The album includes children’s voices from the Salt Spring Elementary School choir.

IslandParent.ca

Call of the Wild

by Aaron Burnett

Sea Notes

by Bobs & Lolo

Bobs & Lolo is a Vancouver-based children’s music duo. Bobs and Lolo gained initial success by performing at the Vancouver Aquarium where they recorded “Sea Notes” in 2004. Sea Notes has a marine-based theme and introduces children to ocean life through thoughtful lyrics and upbeat rhythms. The album is composed in a wide range of genres, including jazz, rock, blues and pop and introduces kids to a diversity of marine life. The album will enlighten young listeners about sea life while singing along to “Mr. Shark,” “Beluga Song”, “Octave the Octopus,” and “I Wish I Was a Jellyfish.”

Instruments include djembe, boom whackers, ukulele, guitars and piano.

Aaron Burnett is a singer/ songwriter from Manitoba.

“Call of the Wild” pays homage to the great outdoors and features songs about animals that are endangered or threatened in Canada. The songs are written in bluegrass style and features traditional bluegrass instrumentation of guitar, banjo, upright bass and the mandolin. It’s a fun and thoughtful recording, which features 15 Canadian animals including bears, wolves, beavers, chipmunks, buffalo, and the Canada goose. Sing along to rhythmic melodies such as “I’m a Wolf Hear Me Howl,” “Beaver in my Backyard,” “Sammy the Skunk,” and “Swimming with an Orca.”

Worms & Dirt

by Mary Lambert

Juno Award Nominee, Mary Lambert, is a singer/ songwriter from Alberta. As the title suggests, this album is for all listeners who love worms and getting dirty in the garden. Worms & Dirt is a fun and creative album full of original and catchy rhythms as well as fun wiggling actions.

Instruments include piano, fiddle, flute and sax all anchored by guitar/bass combo and lit up with rich vocal harmonies. The album takes you on a fun musical journey, from “Down at the Worm Farm” to “The Worm Wiggle” and ending with the toe-tapping “My Beautiful World.”

Jerri Carson is a retired music teacher. She now spends her time playing the piano and cello.

June 2019 43

Pasta

W H AT’ SF O R D I N N E R

Under Pressure I love pasta. Not only is it something my kids will always be happy to find on their plate, it is also a good, quick meal. No matter what I have in my cupboard, there's always something that can be served up with pasta for a delicious and healthy meal.

Here are three pasta dishes that can be made with whatever vegetables you have in your fridge and some basic pantry items. They are perfect for nights when you're short on time, because all of the sauces can be made in the amount of time it takes to cook your pasta. So throw on a pot of water to boil and make a pot of pasta.

Puttanesca (20 minutes)

touch spicy foods, then the red pepper Pasta puttanesca is basically a quick and flakes can be sprinkled on top of individual easy tomato sauce that is packed full of servings. flavour. Serve it with a simple salad for a 5. Allow the sauce to simmer for at least fancy, but easy meal.

15 minutes to blend the flavours. It should be ready around the same time as the pasta.

1 - 454g box of pasta 6. Mix the pasta into the sauce, tossing 2 Tbsp olive oil to fully coat. Serve with grated Parmesan 4 cloves of garlic cheese and more crushed red pepper flakes.

1 can of flaked tuna 1 - 796 ml can of diced tomatoes Pasta with Greens (20 minutes) 1 - 796 ml can of crushed tomatoes This is a really simple pasta recipe that 1⁄4 cup of chopped black olives feels fresh and inspired when you use farm3 Tbsp of capers ers’ market vegetables. However, it is a good 1⁄4 cup of fresh parsley quick meal for anytime of year. Feel free to 1⁄2 tsp crushed red pepper flakes replace the chard with kale, or the walnuts Grated Parmesan cheese with pine nuts.

1. Bring water to boil and cook the pasta according to the instructions on the package. Cook to al dente so that the sauce sticks.

2. Meanwhile make the puttanesca sauce by gently frying the garlic and tuna in the olive oil.

3. When the garlic has softened (after about 2 minutes), pour in the cans of crushed and diced tomatoes.

4. Add the chopped olives, capers and fresh parsley. Depending on your family’s taste you may want to add the crushed red pepper flakes. However, if your kids won’t 44 Island Parent Magazine

1 - 454g box of pasta 1 Tbsp olive oil 3 cloves of garlic 1 bunch of rainbow chard 1 tsp balsamic vinegar 1 - 796 ml can of diced tomatoes 1⁄4 cup walnuts 11⁄2 tsp salt black pepper, to taste Grated Parmesan cheese

2. Prepare the sauce while the pasta cooks.

3. Dice the garlic and chop up the chard, separating the stems from the leaves.

4. Heat a large frying pan on medium heat. Quickly toast the walnuts in the frying pan. This should only take about 2 minutes if the pan is hot. Remove the walnuts and set them aside to cool.

5. Next, fry the garlic with the chard stems until soft, about 5 minutes.

6. Add the chard leaves with the balsamic vinegar and tomatoes. Continue to cook until the pasta is done. The chard leaves should be wilted after about 3 minutes.

7. When the pasta is cooked, drain it and toss it in the frying pan with the cooked vegetables. Salt to taste.

8. Serve with chopped walnuts and Parmesan cheese.

Pizza Pasta (total time 25 minutes)

This is a real favourite at our house because everyone LOVES pizza! It can be made with whatever pizza toppings you happen to have on hand. I like olives, peppers, onions and mushrooms. You could use pepperoni, ham, pineapple, sun dried tomatoes, spinach. Really, anything works.

1. Cook the pasta following the instruc- 1 - 454g box of pasta tions on the package.

2 Tbsp olive oil IslandParent.ca

Vancouver Island’s Largest Independent Toy Store

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1 jar or can of tomato sauce 2 cups of your favourite pizza toppings 1 cup of grated mozzarella cheese 1 tsp salt, to taste 1. Cook pasta following the instructions on the package.

2. While the pasta water boils, dice up all the pizza toppings.

3. Quickly fry any of the raw vegetables until they are soft. Then add the tomato sauce and any remaining pizza toppings.

Continue to cook until everything is hot and the tomato sauce is simmering.

4. When the pasta is cooked, drain it well, then put it in a large, oven safe casserole dish.

5. Pour the tomato sauce and pizza toppings over the pasta. Toss everything so the pasta is well coated.

6. Sprinkle the grated mozzarella over top of the pasta and put under the broiler for 2–5 minutes to melt the cheese.

Emillie Parrish loves having adventures with her two busy children. She lives in Victoria and is the author of the fermentation-based blog fermentingforfoodies.com.

IslandParent.ca

ROYAL VICTORIA YACHT CLUB

250 592 6113 - sailing@rvyc.ca - www.rvyc.bc.ca

Childcare Positions Available Immediately At Emmanuel Baptist Church Child Care Program

Emmanuel is opening a NEW Day Care program for children 30 months to 5 years of age beginning September 1, 2019. Emmanuel also offers After School Program for K–Gr. 5.

We are currently taking applications for Day Care and After School staff positions.

DAY CARE ECE: ECE Assistant:

Monday–Friday, 1:30–5:30pm Monday–Wednesday, 12:30–5:30pm

Thursday & Friday, 8:00am–12:30pm & 12:30–5:30pm Responsible Adult: to assist a child with special needs.

Monday–Friday 12:30–5:30pm

AFTER SCHOOL

Responsible Adults: Work with children from Kindergarten to Gr. 5, Monday–Friday,

2:30–5:30 pm including Professional Development and Early

Dismissal Days, and possibly a week during Spring Break.

Contact Ingrid White ingrid@emmanuelvictoria.ca for information or to send a resume or mail to Emmanuel Baptist Church, 2121 Cedar Hill Cross Rd. Victoria, BC V8P 2R6 June 2019 45

DA D S PE A K

Ah…the Baby Years

B

y the time you read this, our family of four will be a family of five. Yes, there will be a new small screaming addition in our house, I’ll be back to writing this column at 4 a.m. while pacing in small circles around the Pratt abode with the kid strapped to me in some modern-day psycho-nervous-parenting contraption, and I’ll be buying lots of things that I legit don’t understand the purpose of while quietly cursing these companies capitalizing on the fears of new parents with their environmental deathtraps of products.

This is the first time we’ve had a baby since moving into a place with stairs. This is an interesting new dynamic, and I’ve already had fully confusing conversations with parents who have been through this: put baby gates on the tops and bottoms of both staircases, one will say. No, someone will counter them, put them on the bottom of one and the top of the other. Nope, says someone else, move the gates depending on where you are in the house. Screw them in to the wall and wave goodbye to our damage deposit or take a gamble and use the pressure kind?

No idea, man. As of the time of this writing, I’ve made no movement on this decision, but from what little I can remember of babies, they don’t crawl right away, so I think I’ve got time.

In preparation for the new arrival (the baby, not the baby gates, but that will be a very special day as

46 Island Parent Magazine

IslandParent.ca

well), it was time to leave behind the teeny Toyota Echo we’d all been cramming into and move on up into the world of the mini-van. We found what appears to be a good deal on a used Dodge Grand Caravan, and then about three days later, I hit the side of a wall with it. Turns out the learning curve when driving a vehicle three times longer than your last is really, really steep.

After paying about a quarter of the cost of the vehicle in repairs, we’re back on the road, and ready for Pratt number five. More than ready: we’ve got seven seats in this thing. I’m cranking the heck out of our three-month free trial subscription to Sirius XM while pretending I’m not middle-aged, cruising down the road with classic metal cranked up, pretending to not notice the girls laughing at me as I drive past, and pretending to not notice that one speaker is cutting in and out. I’m a rainbow in the dark.

We’re ready for anything in our Grand Caravan.

Anyway, to be honest, there are some things about the baby years I left behind that I kinda could have left behind and not missed. For example, placing the baby near other babies and pretending they’re interacting, like one does with small animals, while smiling with parents you don’t know and are too tired to get to know? Yeah, I’m a bit alarmed I’m bringing stuff like that back into my life.

But of course it’s all worth it, and when people impart their wise words of wisdom upon me—“You realize you’re outnumbered now?”—and I chuckle wistfully, I usually take a moment to have a power-deep-thought moment while pretending to have a conversation and I think, yeah, we’re going to be outnumbered. And it’s great. Our first two are incredible. The world could use a few more good ones. Why stop here?

But here’s the rub: I don’t really like odd numbers as much as I like even numbers (you probably don’t either, unless you’re deranged), so I get this feeling that with three kids it ain’t over yet. Hey, our van seats seven and I’m about to buy the hell out of some baby gates. Crazy, but that’s how it goes. We’re ready for anything.

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Greg Pratt is the father of three children and a local journalist and editor. His writing has appeared in, among other places, Today’s Parent, Wired, Revolver and Douglas.

IslandParent.ca

June 2019 47

FAMILYSERVICESDIRECTORY The Family Services Directory features not for profit agencies and organizations serving children, youth and families

1Up, Victoria Single Parent Resource Centre (1-up.ca) provides support, education and resources for parents in the Greater Victoria area through free counselling, volunteer training, a mentoring program for single moms, and a support group for dads, as well as a variety of integrated life skills and parenting courses which are open to the whole community, with fees on a sliding scale. For single parent members, the Centre provides free toys and books, a clothing room and bread pantry. Donations of gently-used clothing, small household items, and toys are welcome. Hours: Mon., Tue., Thu., Fri.: 9–4, & Wednesdays: 12–7. Location: 602 Gorge Road East. Phone: 250-385-1114.

people with disabilities. For Home Support, please call 250-658-6407. For other programs: 250-6560134. beaconcs.ca.

Beacon Community Services Employment Programs. Beacon Community Services offers a full menu of employment services on the Saanich Peninsula and Gulf Islands. We’ve been helping people find work since 1982! Our programs build on a person’s strengths and resolve barriers to finding and keeping employment. We also work with our employer network to support job seekers. Need help finding a job? Need employees? Contact us for FREE assistance! 9860 Third St. Sidney. 250656-0134. beaconcs.ca.

Canucks Autism Network (CAN) provides yearround sports and recreation programs for children, youth, young adults, and families living with autism, while increasing awareness and providing training in communities across BC. Stay up-to-date on programs, registration dates and events in Nanaimo, Cowichan Valley, and Victoria by signing up for CAN’s Vancouver Island newsletter: canucksautism. ca/newsletter. CAN also provides training and accessibility resources for many sectors, including sport, recreation, first responders, schools, and Beacon Community Services is a communitybased, non-profit agency dedicated to helping Boys & Girls Club Services offer after-school community spaces. Learn about customized training people and improving lives on southern Vancouver and evening social, educational and recreational solutions: canucksautism.ca/training.

Island and the southern Gulf Islands. Beacon thrift programming for children and youth at 5 locations shops fund important LOCAL community services (Colwood, Langford, VicWest, Central Saanich and and programs. Beacon also offers: child, youth and Esquimalt) and summer camps both in Esquimalt family services (including the Peninsula Early Years and at our Outdoor Centre in Metchosin. We also ofCentre and child care); counselling; employment fer support to parents through our Parents Together services and training for people of all ages; home program and parent workshops. For more informasupport care; volunteer services and opportunities; tion on all programs and services visit bgcvic.org or Dialogue and Resolution Services (DRS) helps affordable housing/care/supports for seniors and call 250-384-9133. people improve relationships through facilitating empathic communication in a safe, impartial and FAMILYSERVICESPROFILE collaborative manner. We work with individuals, families, parents, co-workers, neighbours, community organizations, governments and those leaving incarceration. We continue to strive for equity and increased cultural competency, through life-long Counsellor & Parenting Specialist learning. DRS assists diverse clients to create lasting, indsay Trowell is a Registered Therapeutic Counsellor and Pareffective solutions that support healthy connecenting Specialist. Lindsay has worked with adults with develoption and build community. For affordable, ethical, mental disabilities and children with special needs in the helping professional service, find us at 250-383-4412 or profession for over 18 years and now specializes in supporting dialogueandresolutionservices.ca.

Parents, Caregivers, and Frontline Service Providers. Lindsay has an

Lindsay Trowell

L

extensive portfolio working with challenging behaviours. To expand her experience she was also former Lieutenant and safety officer in her local fire department. Lindsay has witnessed adversity in families and communities and uses these foundations within her practice when helping those that she supports today. She has an intimate perspective of the resilience that her clients face. As a parent she worked very hard forming attachments with her children whom were adopted from MCFD care and implements a trauma informed perspective. As a care provider she has witnessed the many challenges that parents and frontline workers face and the work-life balance that is required when witnessing trauma and how to be present for your family, in health. Similar to front line service work her time as a fire fighter exposed her to tragic events on emergency scenes that only emergency service personnel would understand. Having lived these experiences the common element, is a great need to practice good self-care and to acquire the skills to face adversity and remain resilient. Her goal is to teach her clients how create Calm within the Chaos, by becoming Confident, Connected and in Control.

Stress vs. Self-Care: a Parent’s guide to wellness. Parenting myth #1 in order to be a good parent you have to dedicate every waking moment to your children….Wrong… In order to be a good parent you need to try your best to show up as your best self for your family. What this means is that you need to build in self-care safe guards for yourself too. This also means relationship maintenance for you and your partner or spouse.

Lindsay will teach you how our bodies respond to stress, tools on how you can combat stress affects, and how you can show up for your family as your best self.

To find out more information, book an appointment or contact Lindsay, visit Lindsaytrowell.com.

48 Island Parent Magazine

FAMILY SERVICES OF GREATER VICTORIA

Family Services of Greater Victoria helps children, youth, and adults manage the challenges of separation, divorce, or transition to a new family structure. Our highly qualified staff, working with other community agencies, provide information and practical or emotional support so people facing these challenges can make the decisions that are best for everyone. FSGV believes all individuals can find ways to move forward in their lives when family relationships have changed or are changing. Call us at 250-386-4331 or visit fsgv.org. We can help.

IslandParent.ca

Inter-Cultural Association of Greater Victoria (ICA) is a registered charity and nonprofit helping individuals and organizations to connect across cultures. Programs offered include immigrant and refugee services, parenting programs, employment services, interpretation and translation, diversity workshops and training, English language training, volunteer placements, youth programs and tutoring, seniors groups, and inter-cultural arts programming.

Located at 930 Balmoral Road, 250-388-4728, icavictoria.org.

LDABC The Learning Curve (previously The Learning Disabilities Assn.) supports, educates and advocates for children with learning and behavior challenges. Individual and group support, education and consultation is available for children, youth, parents, caregivers and professionals. Please visit our website ldasvi.bc.ca or call us for more information 250-370-9513.

Linday Trowell—Creating Calm Within the Chaos. 18+ years experience as a behaviour support professional for caregivers and parents of children and adults with special needs. I understand the struggle that families face just to get out the door in the morning. I am trained in working with individuals with FASD, attachment difficulties, anxiety, trauma, autism, and much more. Individual and family counselling. Relaxed, non-judgmental support tailored for your individual needs. I help strengthen families and empower individuals. lindsaytrowell.com. #1023212 Jacklin Rd (located in Stillpoint Acupuncture Clinic). 250-217-4536.

Sooke Family Resource Society (SFRS) provides Family Resource Programs including: Prenatal Education and Outreach, Parent-Tot Drop-In Groups, Parent Discussion Groups, Family Support Groups and Outreach, a Toy and Book Lending Library, and Kingfisher Preschool. Sooke-Westshore Child Care Resource and Referral services, as well as all-ages counselling services are also provided by SFRS. Services are provided from the Child, Youth and Family Centres in both Sooke and the Westshore.

Call 250-642-5152 for more information or visit our website at sfrs.ca.

Victoria Immigrant and Refugee Centre Society (VIRCS) supports immigrants and refugees living in Greater Victoria. Services are free and include oneon-one counselling, parent education workshops, youth life skills classes, a preschool program, art therapy, language classes and academic support, employment help, computer classes and fun community events like free yoga, tai chi, dance and cooking classes. Visit us online at vircs.bc.ca or phone 250-361-9433.

IslandParent.ca

The Pursuit of Happiness

I

am addicted to watching Ted Talks.

I vow to watch only one or two and then get sucked into the vortex, engaged for hours. Not that it is time wasted. It’s time well spent, in my opinion. Anyways, I was watching one particular Ted Talk about happiness, when the presenter said something that completely caught me off guard. She asked why we pushing our children towards the ridiculous goal of being happy. It’s not attainable, she said. In fact, she added, it shouldn’t even be a goal. So, why are we pressuring our children to strive for it?

Wait. What?

As she shared her reasoning, my brain exploded into a million thoughts.

I was no longer listening to the presenter’s argument, I was caught up in my own emotional reaction to what she had said.

We shouldn’t teach our children to work towards happiness? That’s ludicrous! Isn’t happiness the ultimate goal, what all parents wish for their children? I needed to go back and listen again to what the presenter was saying. Obviously, I had misunderstood her statement. Right?

Happiness is the result of making choices that fulfil us and bring us gratification, she explained. It is not a goal, in and of itself; it is too abstract. When we fill our days with activities we enjoy and with people we love, the result is that we will be happy. So shouldn’t we be teaching our children to mindfully spend their days? If children are aware of people and activities that make them feel good, the result is that they will be happy. Therefore, the goal should be to fill each day with purpose.

Perhaps her argument is valid. We often speak of happiness as if it is the Holy Grail, but what is it, precisely? It looks different for each person and can even take different forms in each moment: joy, gratitude, hilarity, exhilaration, satisfaction.

Happiness is a slippery little emotion that can be challenging to grasp—even

for adults. We are in constant pursuit of it, experiencing it for only a moment or two, before it slips away and we chase it once again.

The more I pondered it, the more I agreed with the Ted Talk. Why are we encouraging our children to spend their lives chasing an abstract, ever-changing enigma?

To challenge her theory, I made a list of people and tasks that fill my heart with love and light: • enjoying my morning coffee outdoors, with the sun on my face • lying in bed and listening to the birds, or the rain • spending time in nature • singing at the top of my lungs • quiet moments of meditation • being present with my children All of these aims are achievable on a daily basis and all of them bring me joy.

When I am mindful to include these small moments in my day, they add up to happiness. Thus, happiness was not the goal, but the by-product of time well spent.

When broken down into bite-sized pieces, happiness is not only achievable but likely.

What a joyful and inspiring thought.

Perhaps, as parents, we should have conversations with our children about what brings them joy. What/who makes them laugh? What do they find fun? What makes them feel inspired? Who makes them feel loved? If we teach them to be aware of these things, chances are, they will inevitably find happiness.

And so, despite my initial doubt and offence, it seems that the presenter may, in fact, be right. Her strong words caught my attention, forced me to think, and swayed my perspective. I told you that Ted Talks were a valuable use of my time!

(To watch the Ted Talk I referred to in this piece, Google Jennifer Senior “For Parents, Happiness is a Very High Bar”).

Kelly Cleeve is a passionate educator with 14 years experience. She is a graduate student at the University of British Columbia, a wife and a mother of two beautiful boys.

June 2019 49

M O M ’ S P OV

I’m Embarrassing YOU?!

Y

ou figure out, fairly soon after signing on for this gig called parenting, that your child IS going to embarrass you. It’s just a matter of when, and where, and how badly. As much as your child may well be your biggest source of pride, they will absolutely, without a doubt be your most significant source of humiliation. In fact, it’s part of their job.

They start out sweet enough, all snuggles and cuteness. But that doesn’t mean they aren’t going to scream themselves hoarse while you are trapped in a grocery check-out line. They’re also likely to spit up in conspicuous places on your outfit right before you meet cool people, and produce epic, up-the-back diaper blowouts at the most inconvenient times.

Older babies develop new and ever more wily ways to mortify their parents.

Be particularly cautious when wearing one in a front pack; this gives them opportunity for moves like yanking the handle of the bulk-fooddispensing bin, causing 17 cups of lentils to gush out onto the floor. Beware, too, of babies in strollers; this position allows

them to pull stunts like, say, grabbing a cantaloupe as you walk through the produce section, and then gleefully dropping it on the concrete floor.

All this humiliation may be taxing, but we can take solace in the knowledge that these episodes serve an important evolutionary function. Your baby’s stunts are actually developing your resilience as a human, strengthening your ability to carry on calmly while the world points and stares. Most importantly, this training prepares you for the daunting levels of mortification you will encounter when your child becomes a toddler and embraces their full repertoire of tantrums, biting, screeching, and defiance.

By early school years, the flow of humiliation will be slowing, but by no means over. Preschoolers will talk loudly about poop when dinner guests are over; kindergarteners will sweetly produce filthy words while Face-timing the grandparents.

But, weather these storms and you will be rewarded.

Somewhere around age seven or eight, you will abruptly find

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yourself in a magical phase when all are equal. Your child is now something approaching a rational person who can mostly control the words coming out of their mouth. They are fully in control of most bodily functions and can clearly grasp the concept that sometimes, certain behaviours are not socially acceptable.

This is a rest phase; enjoy it, for your wits will soon be required.

Somewhere around age 10-11, a cosmic shift occurs. Now, for the first time, you will observe your child being embarrassed by YOU. It happens slowly at first, gradually building in frequency and severity. By the teen years, they will be utterly humiliated by anything and everything you say, do, think, and, most especially, wear.

This phase is likely to last for five to seven years, possibly longer. And there’s no use in simply trying to be cooler; in fact, any attempts as such will in fact make us exponentially less cool. Instead, roll with it and flex the power while it lasts.

Test the effects of formerly innocuous behaviours such as giving your son a kiss on the cheek while dropping him at baseball practice, or wearing a cowboy hat to pick up your daughter from school. You can also experiment with language; just for fun, see what happens when you casually drop words like “epic” and “cray” into conversation, preferably in front of your 14-year-old’s friends.

One day, you see, they will grow out of this, and your very existence will no longer be an embarrassment to your child; on that mystical day, the status quo will return to equality, and you will resume your relationship on equal terms. But for now, embrace your new role as the Most Embarrassing Parent Ever.

Remember, this work is essential to a child’s proper development. By providing parental embarrassment, we are returning the important service they themselves provided us as babies. Thanks to us, our children will now be given ample opportunity to develop the vital trait of resilience as a human—the ability to carry on calmly while the world points and stares.

Otherwise, how will they be prepared for parenting one day?

SUMMER SOCCER CAMPS

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The Freya-Sophia Waldorf Store Beautiful selection of books, organic wool clothing, wooden toys, silks, dolls, cards, prints, painting and handwork supplies.

STEINER BOOKSTORE: Extensive Selection of Inspiring Books and Resources ~ For Children, Parents, Teachers, Carers , Homeschoolers and Students of Life (SOL) 250-597-4763 ~ Located in the Sol-Centre, 5380 Hwy. 1, Duncan, BC

Sarah Milligan lives on Vancouver Island. She is grateful to her children for the joy they inspire, not to mention the endless writing fodder.

IslandParent.ca

CALL OR CHECK ONLINE FOR OUR SUMMER HOURS Find us on Facebook@freyasophiawaldorfstore - Follow us on Instagram

June 2019 51

PRESCHOOL&CHILDCAREDIRECTORY CENTRAL SAANICH

like to be part of a community devoted to the development of the whole child. Open House: Thursdays 9-11 am. west-mont.ca.

Carrot Seed Preschool........................250-658-2331 Where children can discover, imagine, construct and learn through play. Wondrous natural playground. carrotseedpreschool.com.

NORTH SAANICH • one of the few parent participation preschools on the Peninsula • learning through play philosophy • a large, beautiful indoor and outdoor space • offering flexible 4 hour programs 1–4 days a week • a great community to join • visit us at www.countrysidepreschool.org

In The Garden Childcare Centre.........250-654-0306 A GREAT PLACE TO GROW. Offering preschool, full day care, before and after school care for children aged 2.5 to 12 years old. Open all year. Now offering Infant and Toddler Care.

CORDOVA BAY

OAK BAY

Cordova Bay Preschool......................250-658-3441 A bright and cheerful parent participation preschool with a philosophy of learning through play. 4 yr olds - M/W/F 9:151:15; 3 yr olds - T/Th 9:15-12:15. cordovabaypreschool.org.

Gonzales Co-op Preschool..................250-727-1003 Children use imaginations in a Learning through Play classroom and natural playground. Reggio-Emilia inspired, focus is on art, nature and music. Nurturing, highly qualified ECE and ECE assistant. Parent participation options. Allergy aware. gonzalescooppreschool.com.

ESQUIMALT Ciara Early Childhood Centre............. 250-386-7369 Education and Fun Hand in Hand! Exceptional care for ages 1-5yrs. Inclusive nature inspired kindergarten readiness program with Christian values. Facebook.com/ CiaraEarlyChildhoodCentre.

Island Kids Academy Esquimalt..........250-381-2929 High quality child care (ages 1-5). Enriched Curriculum.

Includes Music Classes and Character Development using the Virtues Project. Wait list being taken. Islandkids.ca.

La Pré-Maternelle Appletree Preschool.............................250-479-0292 A French Immersion Preschool Program.

30 months to school age. Licensed Christian centre. prematernelleappletree.com.

METCHOSIN Metchosin Cooperative Preschool............................

Play Explore Learn and Grow in beautiful rural Metchosin.

Morning programs available for 3 and 4 year olds. Contact our ECEs at metchosinpreschool@gmail.com.

West-Mont Montessori School........... 250-474-2626 Exceptional preschool Montessori instruction in a beautiful natural environment. Ages 30 months and up.

Providing a balanced approach to incorporating French, Music, Art and Nature. Stop by and experience what it is

Oak Bay Preschool.............................250-592-1922 Oak Bay Preschool is a co-op preschool, using a play-based curriculum with qualified ECE and ECEA. We use a balance of indoor and outdoor classrooms to enrich your child’s preschool experience. Learn more at oakbaypreschool.com.

Recreation Oak Bay........................... 250-370-7200 Fully licensed, ECE Daycare, Preschool and Nature Preschool. Play based, child led learning. Afterschool care available.

SAANICH

• Licensed 3 hr and 4 hr programs, flexible part-time classes • Qualified ECEs offer play-based programs that stimulate curiosity and imagination and support optimum growth and development. Supported spaces available.

• Indoor and outdoor programming, community visitors and special activities provide opportunities for learning through play and exploration.

Fullobeans.ca 250-360-1148 saanichneighbourhoodplace.com

Island Montessori House................250-592-4411 Inclusive, integrated and nurturing Preschool and Before/After School Care programs. Lovely rural setting with a focus on nature and outdoor environmental activities. islandmontessori.com.

Lambrick Park Preschool & Childcare...250-477-8131 Gordon Head’s parent-participation preschool and childcare center. Flexible hours M-F 9am-3pm & drop-ins offered. Play based learning and outdoor play. Allergy friendly. Celebrating 40 years. lambrickparkpreschool.ca.

Oakcrest Preschool........................... 250-472-0668 A welcoming, nurturing environment with a large, bright facility. Learn through play with 2 caring ECEs. oakcrestpreschool.org.

Ready Set Grow Preschool..................250-472-1530 Inside Hillcrest Elm. in Gordon Head, we help children transition to Kindergarten. Licensed Preschool with highly qualified, warm ECE. heoscmanager@gmail.com.

Pre-School Junior Kindergarten • Half day and Full day Preschool Programs • Children’s learning is nurtured and supported through exploration, discovery, play and creative expression 3905 Haro Road, Victoria BC

PacificChristian.ca 250-479-4532

250-477-3731 arbutusgrove.ca

Educational Excellence to the Glory of God Camosun College Child Care Services.. 250-370-4880 Quality licensed facilities on both campuses providing children, newborn to 5 years, with rich early learning experiences in a learn through play environment. camosun.ca/childcare.

St. Joseph’s Early Learning Centre........ 250-479-1237 A Christian childcare centre offering daycare and preschool programs for 3-5 year olds. Children learn through play-based and emergent curriculum in a warm and nurturing environment.

Looking for child care? Need help with the Affordable Child Care Benefit?

Taking care of children? Need child care training?

Child Care

Resource & Referral Funded by the Province of BC

Your community’s best source of child care information and resources.

52 Island Parent Magazine

Call your local Child Care Resource & Referral for free referrals and resources.

Victoria & Gulf Islands: 250-382-7000 or 1-800-750-1868 Sooke: 250-642-5152 West Shore: 250-940-4882 Cowichan Valley: 250-746-4135 local 231 PacificCare (Ladysmith north): 250-756-2022 or 1-888-480-2273

vancouverislandccrr.ca ccrr.bc.ca

IslandParent.ca

Wiseways Child Care Centre........... 250-477-1312 Established, quality, licensed, Christian centre for 3-5 year olds. Experienced ECEs, cheerful spacious facilities, large playground. Subsidized fees welcome.

Call for a tour. Wisewaysvictoria.com.

The Sir James Douglas Playschool.....250-389-0500 Fun, creative and educational ECE program for 3-5 year olds to grow and develop life long skills. Come play and learn in our bright and modern centre in Fairfield. sjdoutofschoolclub.com.

Victoria Montessori...........................250-380-0534 Unique, innovative learning environment combining the best of Montessori and Learning Through Play. Open yr. round. 30mths–K. victoriamontessori.com.

VICTORIA v Comprehensive programs for Preschool through Grade 9 v Delivering academic excellence through music, dance, drama and visual arts v Outstanding educators, locations and facilities

Island Kids Academy View Royal....... 250-727-2929 High quality child care (ages 1-5). Enriched Curriculum.

Includes Music Classes and Character Development using the Virtues Project. Wait list being taken. Islandkids.ca.

Castleview Child Care........................250-595-5355 Learning Through Play & Discovery. Licensed non-profit, ECE staff. Since 1958. Morning or full-time care. castleviewchildcarecentre.com.

Centennial Day Care.......................... 250-386-6832 Exceptional childcare and education 35+ years. Nature inspired, play based program. NEW central, “green” building. centennialdaycare.ca.

Christ Church Cathedral Childcare and Junior Kindergarten.....................250-383-5132 ECE and Specialist teachers provide an outstanding all-day, licensed program for 3–5 year olds. Spacious, renovated facility with a huge backyard in Fairfield. cathedralschool.ca.

Nightingale Preschool and Junior Kindergarten Ltd.................250-595-7544 We offer education through creativity and play, providing rich learning experiences through a well sourced and stimulating indoor and outdoor environment. Early years reading programme. nightingalepreschool.com.

Arts/Drama programme. kidsworks.ca.

JLC Victoria Japanese Preschool The only Japanese Immersion Preschool on the Island opens at Craigflower Schoolhouse. Offering the best environment for preschoolers to learn Japanese language and culture as natural as possible. jlcvictoria.com.

at St. Barnabas Church is accepting registrations for September 2019. We are a Waldorf inspired and faith based new preschool in Victoria.

Please visit our website at

theriverpreschool.stbarnabaschurch.ca or email us at riverpreschoolvic@gmail.com.

You are welcome to visit us at The River Drop-in Playgroup on Wednesdays 10–11:30am at St. Barnabas Church Hall.

St. Joseph’s Preschool........................ 250-246-3191 An enriching preschool program allowing children to grow as individuals in a safe and nurturing Christian environment.

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The first steps in your child’s education

QUALICUM BEACH Call for more information today: 250.746.3654

International Montessori Academy of Canada............................................ 250-737-1119 Elementary K–12. Offers an enriching environment for preschool children 2-4.9 years with potty training. Nurturing young minds, keeping the spirit free. intmontessori.ca.

Parkside Academy................................ 250-746-1711 Providing high quality early learning and care from infancy to 12 years of age, in a stimulating, respectful, nurturing, nature based environment with fully educated and passionate early childhood educators. Visit parksideacademy.ca or find us on Facebook.

The River Preschool

Sunrise Waldorf School Preschool........ 250-743-7253 In a warm environment, this nature and play-based program enlivens and nurtures the growing child. sunrisewaldorfschool.org.

CHEMAINUS

VIEW ROYAL

www.ArtsCalibre.ca 250.382.3533

Queen of Angels Early Learning Centre.250-701-0433 Our Centre is a lively, happy place for 3-5 year olds where children are encouraged to be confident, independent learners in a nurturing and safe environment.

Queen Margaret’s School.....................250-746-4185 Early Childhood Education Program. Co-ed nurturing curriculum to develop the whole child. Healthy snacks and lunch provided. qms.bc.ca.

Children’s Discovery Centre............... 250-752-4343 A nurturing, safe and creative learning environment.

Licensed preschool, group care and out of school care. Early Childhood Educators. childrensdiscovery centre.ca. childrensdiscoverycentre@hotmail.com.

Little Star Children’s Centre............... 250-752-4554 Little Gems Infant and Toddler Care... 250-228-5437 Mother, Daughter owned and operated. Earth friendly preschool education inspired by nature. Infused with fun and creative daily yoga practices! Licensed group care. Enthusiastic ECE instructors. littlestardaycare.ca

PORT ALBERNI John Paul II Catholic School............... 250-723-0637 “Where children grow and learn through play.” We provide a program that will inspire development physically, socially, emotionally, cognitively, creatively and spiritually.

Nestled on 4 acres of lush west Coast forest, our Award winning, Nature based program will not disappoint!

While firmly embracing the Reggio-Emila (Italy) Philosophy our dedicated team of educators use the environment as the third teacher as we encourage your child throughout their day.

Our purpose built facilities have been handmade using the trees from our forest. We have recently expanded to our new Spirit Bear Lodge located right next door!

Programs for Infants/Toddlers and Pre-Kindergarten children.

Photo: Cheryl Cameron, Atelierista

IslandParent.ca

Award of Excellence in Child Care

lexieslittlebears.ca 250-590-3603

June 2019 53

H A PPYFA M I LI ES H E A LTH YFA M I LI ES

Becoming a Problem Solver Healthy Families, Happy Families

Child, Youth & Family Public Health South Island Health Units Esquimalt Gulf Islands

250-519-5311 250-539-3099

(toll-free number for office in Saanichton)

Peninsula 250-544-2400 Saanich 250-519-5100 Saltspring Island 250-538-4880 Sooke 250-642-5464 Victoria 250-388-2200 West Shore 250-519-3490

Central Island Health Units Duncan Ladysmith Lake Cowichan Nanaimo Nanaimo Princess Royal Parksville/ Qualicum

250-709-3050 250-755-3342 250-749-6878 250-755-3342 250-755-3342

Port Alberni Tofino

250-731-1315 250-725-4020

250-947-8242

North Island Health Units Campbell River 250-850-2110 Courtenay 250-331-8520 Kyuquot Health Ctr 250-332-5289 ‘Namgis Health Ctr 250-974-5522 Port Hardy 250-902-6071

viha.ca/prevention_services/ 54 Island Parent Magazine

T

he foundations for a child’s success at school, in their relationships, and in life are laid down in the early years of their life. At each stage, from infancy through to the teenage years, parents have an important role in encouraging children to acquire the skills they need to develop confidence and reach their potential.

It is up to each individual parent to choose the values, skills and behaviours they want to encourage in their own child, however there are some skills that are important for everyone. These core skills support children in becoming confident, to succeed at school and to get along well with others. One of these core skills and a building block for success is learning to become a good problem solver.

Developing problem-solving skills can help your child both academically and socially.

Triple P—the Positive Parenting Program provides the following tips for helping your child become a good problem solver:

Set a Good Example

Children learn a lot about problem solving through watching. Let your child see how you deal with problems.

Talk about how you can break a problem down into smaller parts that can be worked out, one step at a time.

Teach your Child Problem Solving Steps

Rather than solving all problems as a parent, encourage your child to work at solving their own problems. Congratulate them when they solve a problem on their own.

You can teach your child the steps in problems solving: • State the problem clearly • Come up with some possible solutions • Think about the good points and bad points of the possible solutions • Decide on the best solution or plan • Try it out by putting the plan into action • Review how the solution worked and make any necessary changes Helping your child to develop good problem solving skills is one way of building confidence and competence.

For more Triple P tips and ideas for all ages and stages of development or to find Triple P services in your community, visit: triplepvip.ca or on Facebook at facebook. com/TriplepVIP. Cindy Knott has worked for 30 years supporting children and families in Manitoba and British Columbia. She is currently the Vancouver Island Triple P Coordinator and an adoption social worker.

C HILD YOUT H & FAM ILY PUBLIC HEALTH

IslandParent.ca

What are you doing this summer?

Take a PLAYcation with PISE!

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K I DS ’ R E A DS

Tales of War & Hope

O

n June 6, 1944, the Allied troops landed on the coast of France and began to push across the country.

By the end of August all of France was free, and the following year World War II ended. This month’s selections honour those who fought in the war and those who suffer from the effects of war.

The first story is The Cat Who Lived with Anne Frank by David Lee Miller and Steven Jay Rubin and illustrated by Elizabeth Baddeley (Philomel, 2019).

This story brings Anne Frank’s journal to life and gently introduces young readers to the horrors of war by telling the story through Mouschi’s—the cat’s—eyes.

Unlike Anne and the other “Yellow Stars” who are forced to hide, Mouschi is able to get out of the attic and see what is happening. Through his eyes, readers are introduced to Hannie, a resistance fighter, who helped smuggle over 600 Jewish children to freedom, and the brave zoo workers who entertained Nazis while hiding more than 300 Jews in the storage rooms. For ages 4 to 8.

The Day the War Came by Nicola Davies and illustrated by Rebecca Cobb (Candlewick Press, 2018) is also inspired by a real event. In 2016 Davis learned the

56 Island Parent Magazine

United Kingdom refused to provide refuge for 3,000 unaccompanied children, and that one refugee child was turned away from school simply because there wasn’t a chair.

The story follows a young girl from her breakfast table, across the waters in a leaky boat, through a refugee camp and city streets, to a school that turns her away because there isn’t a chair for her.

But because even on the darkest of days there can still be hope, Davies story ends with one of the young boys in the class bringing her his chair and he is not alone.

For ages 5 to 8.

The third story is Up In Arms by Amanda Spottiswoode and illustrated

by Molly March (Heritage, 2017). During World War II hundreds of children were evacuated from the UK and sent to Canada. Up In Arms is a fictional tale that follows some of them: the Phillips and MacTavish children.

The friends spend some time in Victoria, then head up Island with Captain Gunn. During their travels they see a cougar nearly drown, and learn about an artifact, a mask, that was stolen from a village. When they find the mask in the house of a police officer they must decide whether they should leave it where it is, or return it to its rightful owners. For ages 9 to 12.

A Blinding Light by Julie Lawson (Nimbus, 2017) is set in Halifax, Nova Scotia in 1917. The story starts with 12-year-old Livy Schroeder and her 15-year-old brother, Will, mourning their father who died in a boating accident six months earlier. Livy is responding by acting out any way she can to get her mother’s attention. She ends up breaking her mother’s favourite vase and letting their servant girl, Kathleen, take the blame.

After she admits it was her, she is sent to the North End to beg forgiveness and ask Kathleen to come back. But while she is there, two ships collide in the harbour and explode, leveling the North End. For ages 9 to 12.

The fifth story is an enchanting tale about Sergeant Billy: The True Story of the Goat Who Went to War by Mireille Messier and illustrated by Kass Reich (Tundra, 2019). Like the story about Anne’s cat, this tale softens your child’s introduction to war by focusing on an animal, in this case a goat named Billy.

IslandParent.ca

Billy was the mascot for the Fifth Battalion and he took his role very seriously. He was with the troops for every one of their failures and victories. He captured an enemy guardsman, was arrested for treason, and saved the lives of three members of the Fighting Fifth. The text and beautiful images don’t shy away from the horrors of war, but Messier and Reich are able to keep the story at a good level for their young readers. For ages 4 to 8.

OUR HOSPITALS ARE VITAL. OUR CAREGIVERS ARE VITAL. OUR FAMILIES ARE VITAL. OUR DONORS ARE VITAL. THIS EQUIPMENT IS VITAL.

Our Vancouver Island kids are vital.

The final story is A Stone for Sascha

by Aaron Becker (Candlewick Press, 2018). This book is not about war, but it is about grief. This beautifully illustrated tale captures the stages of grief as a young girl mourns the death of her dog.

This book is rather unique in that it tells the story without using words.

However, the saying “a picture is worth a thousand words” rings true in this book.

The illustrations bring about such depth of emotions, that the readers do not need words to recognize the turning point in the young girl’s grief. For ages 5 to 9.

Here in Canada it is easy to forget that wars still rage on in other places of the world and that these wars divide families and cause so many to lose those close to them. But, as we take time this month to remember the beginning of the end of World War II, we can also remind ourselves to think of others. To be compassionate, empathetic, and kind. To make room for those who are mourning, scared, or lonely. And to do what we can to make this world a better place, not only for ourselves, but for everyone.

Thanks to specialized caregivers and technology, 98% of pediatric cases on Vancouver Island can be treated at Victoria General Hospital.

Right now, its NICU and PICU are in critical need of new monitors for life-saving care.

Let’s join together so that our children can continue to receive exceptional critical care here on the Island.

WWW.VICTORIAHF.CA/VITALKIDS

Christina Van Starkenburg is a freelance writer and mother of two young boys. You can read about their adventures at thebookandbaby.com.

IslandParent.ca

June 2019 57

N ATU R E N OTES

Critter-catching Consequences

I

know that catching critters is fun, educational and helps us to connect to the natural world. Kids do it, parents do it, even educators do it! I used to be the first one off the trail, pointing out the tadpoles/snakes/lizards, wanting a closer look, but while working here at Swan Lake Christmas Hill Nature Sanctuary, I have learned about the consequences of our meddling.

It turns out that collecting native species from their natural habitat not only threatens the individual frog, snake, etc., but also the entire population. By trying to deepen our connection to nature, we are putting the very animals we love at risk.

Simply the process of catching animals is extremely stressful for them and puts their lives in danger. Reptiles and amphibians are generally prey animals and assume that you are a predator about to eat them. The stress and trauma inflicted on these animals during capture is tremendous. If you then decide to keep the animals you’ve captured, you can receive a fine from a Conservation Officer no matter how well intentioned you are. It turns out that keeping native animals is actually against the law, as outlined in the Wildlife Act. If you have illegally collected an animal without a permit, please return it immediately to where you found it. Releasing it in a different area adds stress to those animals who already live in the area due to increased competition for space, food and shelter.

Wild animals have territories and by moving them around—maybe from a park to your garden—you are displacing them from their homes and putting them at risk of injury or death

from those already present in the new habitat. Animals already have everything they need exactly where they are and generally do not benefit from our interference. If you find a reptile or amphibian in the “wrong place,” please put it nearby where it will be safe—for example from your patio to a green space nearby.

The only exception to the “release it where you found it” rule is if the animal has come into contact with pet store or aquarium products. Pet stores and aquariums are common vectors for disease transmission and any animal that has been exposed to pet store/aquarium food or supplies cannot be released back into the wild due to the risk of infecting the entire population.

When animals are held in captivity they can become diseased due to the cage or food unbeknownst to the wellmeaning care giver. If you then decide to release the animal, that disease may then be passed onto the wild population along with potentially invasive species, such as aquarium plants.

For information on how to proceed if you are not sure how long the animal has been in captivity and what it has come into contact with, please contact bcfrogwatch@victoria1.gov.bc.ca. The BC Frog watch program is a provincial initiative through the Ministry of the Environment and deals with any concerns about all reptiles and amphibians in the province.

Attaching photos is highly recommended.

Swan Lake Christmas Hill Nature Sanctuary is known for nature education, usually including live reptiles and

amphibians. Since its inception, the Nature House has kept native garter snakes, exotic pet snakes, honeybees, and one or two freshwater turtles (Red eared Sliders). However, over the last decade not only have we accepted a red-listed Western Painted Turtle (collected illegally and suffering from a chronic shell condition) but also numerous other reptiles and amphibians brought to us by well-meaning folks concerned about their location/ welfare or just wanting us to keep them on their behalf.

When you capture native reptiles and amphibians and bring them to the Nature House, you may think that they are like a pet that can be named and visited, but in general, native wildlife does not thrive in captivity. Staff have to work hard with limited resources to care for the animal and, at times, the animal may have to be euthanized.

Although we acknowledge that it is wonderful to be able to show visitors native animals up close, the Swan Lake Nature House is not a zoo or rehabilitation facility. And while we have accepted “salvage” herptiles from other organizations, we do not endorse the collection and keeping of native animals from the wild. We are required to obtain special permits to keep all of our captive native animals, which would otherwise likely have been euthanized.

If you find an injured animal (bird, mammals, reptile, amphibian), the best option is to contact Wild ARC, the BC SPCA Wild Animal

Rehabilitation Centre located in Metchosin. They may be contacted through their website at spca.bc.ca/locations/wild-arc Wild ARC will care for and release all native animals, including reptiles and amphibians.

If you are not sure if the animal you found is native or an introduced invasive species, such as European Wall lizards and American bullfrogs, please phone Wild ARC and they will help you through the next steps.

The days of catching and collecting tadpoles and lizards are over. Our reptile and amphibian populations are small, fragmented, and over half of these species in the province are at risk of becoming endangered. Therefore, it is imperative that each one remains healthy and a part of the breeding population.

It is exciting to see a native animal up close in a tank, but it is so much more rewarding to witness the same animals in their natural habitat, finding all that they need and thriving with others of their kind.

Our need for “nature on demand” is not sustainable; please visit natural areas and see these amazing creatures out where they belong. Put on a snorkel and mask and visit the newts under the water at Lizard Lake, visit Spencer’s Pond to see a vast array of amphibians, or go on a tour of the Haliburton Wetland project.

But please, do your part to help by leaving wildlife where it is, as it is meant to be.

Coral Forbes, Program Naturalist at Swan Lake Christmas Hill Nature Sanctuary in consultation with Purnima Govindarajulu, the Small Mammal and Herpetofauna Specialist with the BC Ministry of Environment.

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ISLAND CATHOLIC SCHOOLS (In the Victoria Area)

St. Joseph’s (Pre-K–Gr 7)

St. Patrick’s (K–Gr 7)

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St. Andrew’s Regional For information on other High (Gr 8–12) Island Catholic Schools 880 McKenzie Ave visit Victoria BC V8X 3G5

250-479-1414 standrewshigh.ca

cisdv.bc.ca 250-727-6893

June 2019 59

M ATE R N IT Y& B E YO N D

Summer Struggles W elcome to June, that in-between month. Outside it feels like summer much of the time, which makes the agony of desk-work even worse.

The kids are restless; the countdown to summer holidays is on. With camps open for registration in early April, and some filled within minutes, many families have had at least part of July and August programmed for months.

Summer planning is another reminder for most of us with atypical kids that their road—and our road—is a little rockier.

We’ve spent 10 months focused on inclusion in the classroom, and though we hope that summer is a reprieve, we quickly realize it isn’t. Our kids want to take part in summer programs, go to camp with their friends, but we can’t simply register and hope for the best.

Summer camp for my son, Angus, means a support worker, and this is not cheap.

Consider adding an extra $20 an hour to a week at day camp, and that $200 camp becomes $900. That’s a hefty sum for some capture the flag games and a tie-dyed T-

shirt. How many $900 weeks can one family afford?

Last summer our family managed one and a half. One that we planned months in advance, so Angus had the opportunity to attend a neighbourhood camp with a close friend, the “half” arranged the Tuesday afternoon of a camp advertised as inclusive, a camp where I was told Angus could attend without a support worker, but which proved to be an utter disaster for him to navigate on his own.

This was possible for us, because after a year and a half on the waitlist for respite funding, Angus’s special needs social worker advocated hard for our family to move to the top of the list. We get a small monthly cheque that we hoard until summer so that camps are a possibility. We are extremely lucky. Many other families are not.

Those were not the only day camps Angus attended last summer, though. He attended four. He spent a week at QA Camp—a truly inclusive camp on the grounds of Queen Alexandra Centre for

Children’s Health. Because of the high ratio of (skilled and experienced) staff to campers, Angus could attend QA camp as a regular kid—no extra adult tagging along, as is the case at other camps, and at school.

No reminders of his challenges and differences, but just a time for friendships and fun. The fourth camp Angus attended was with a trained and fully-funded support worker provided through Recreation Integration Victoria.

Parents of kids with special “needs often talk about the ‘constant struggle.’ We’re not talking about struggling with our children, but about struggling with a society that doesn’t accommodate them.

”

After years of providing camps for kids with developmental disabilities, QA Camp is not running this summer.

Gates: 8am–9pm Daily • Monday 8am–6pm $13 for Adults • $8 for Seniors & Youths • FREE for kids 6 and under Ride ‘em all day Midway Wristbands: $40 Free Parking & Nightly Entertainment • No Alcohol • No Dogs 60 Island Parent Magazine

IslandParent.ca

After 30 years of partnership, Saanich, Oak Bay and the CRD on behalf of Panorama have terminated their contracts with Recreation Integration, according to CBC News. This summer we’ve applied through RIV’s Summer Inclusion Service for a support worker at a full-day camp offered by Saanich Recreation. Next year that won’t be possible.

I’ve bemoaned this decision to Saanich Rec. That’s what parents of kids with special needs learn to do: question, complain, become the squeaky wheel, or—in more positive language—advocate. I’ve been told they are redesigning their model to meet growing and broadening needs. Their commitment to inclusion remains strong, I’ve been told, and they will look to provide a comparable level of support directly through the Recreation Department.

That’s hopeful, and I want to be hopeful.

Unfortunately, another thing those of us with neuro-diverse kids learn: don’t be placated by promises; wait for action.

Sometimes parents of so-called typical kids ask what they can do to support kids with special needs and their families.

“Don’t be afraid to ask questions,” and “Set an example for your children by being kind and welcoming” are a couple possibilities. But there’s more.

Parents of kids with special needs often talk about the “constant struggle.” We’re not talking about struggling with our children, but about struggling with a society that doesn’t accommodate them. We are talking about struggling to knock down barriers of inclusion only to have more erected right in front of us.

One thing that parents of “typical” kids could do is join this fight. Be an advocate.

As uncomfortable as it can feel to always question and complain, to be “one of those parents”, it’s often a necessary way to achieve change. Examine every afterschool program and sports league and camp your kids attend. If there aren’t any kids with special needs, ask why. What can be done to accommodate them?

If there are kids with special needs, make sure those kids are truly included. If not, what needs to change? Ask for those changes. Demand them. Do it for our kids, and for your own. It’s exhausting, I guarantee it. But do it anyways. Do it until we finally live in a society where every child belongs, everywhere.

Laura Trunkey is the mother of the amazing Angus, and the author of the story collection Double Dutch (House of Anansi, 2016). Find her at lauratrunkey.com.

IslandParent.ca

International Montessori Academy Open for Summer School Preschool Kindergarten Elementary French/Academics/Art

IMAC Montessori Academy

2375 Koksilah Road, Duncan 250-737-1119 www.intmontessori.ca Nurturing young minds. Keeping the spirit free.

Victoria City Rowing Club

excels in providing high quality rowing experiences for all ages and abilities. Here is your chance to learn to row, get back into rowing and enjoy the beautiful outdoors of Elk Lake this summer.

Youth Programs 11-17 Full day week long camps and half day beginner, intermediate and experienced camps.

Adult Programs 18+ Evening Classes: Beginner, Intermediate and Novice Morning and Evening: Club and Competitive

website: www.vcrc.bc.ca email: vcrcprograms@gmail.com

ADVERTISERSDIRECTORY Alpine Stables......................................................... 41 Ballet Victoria......................................................... 25 Brentwood College............................................... 62 Brookes Canada...................................................IFC Byte Camp............................................................... 29 Cadboro Bay Dental.............................................. 13 Camp Pringle............................................................17 Cedar Coast Field Station................................... 38 CF Sailing................................................................ 50 City of Victoria.......................................................IBC Coastal Bliss............................................................ 41 Emmanuel Baptist........................................... 41, 45 Freya Sofia Waldorf Store.................................... 51 Harbour Cats................................................... 22, 23 Highland Pacific...................................................... 31 Horne Lake Caves................................................ 50 IMAX......................................................................... 34 International Montessori Academy.................... 61 Island Catholic Schools....................................... 59 Island Circus........................................................... 24 Kaleidoscope........................................................... 13 Kool & Child............................................................ 45 KUMON...................................................................IBC Lifestyles.................................................................. 34 Mad Science........................................................... 24 Maple Bay Yacht Club.......................................... 25 Momease................................................................IFC Mothering Touch....................................................... 7 NIL TU,O....................................................................17 North Island Wildlife Recovery.............................. 7 Oak and Orca.................................................. 36, 40 Pacific Christian...................................................... 21 Pacific FC............................................................. OBC PISE........................................................................... 55

Poppet Creative..................................................... 30 The Raptors............................................................ 59 Recreation Oak Bay............................................... 15 Royal Soccer Club................................................. 36 Royal Victoria Yacht Club.................................... 45 Saanich Dental........................................................37 Saanich Fair............................................................ 60 Serious Coffee....................................................... 39 St. Margaret’s.............................................................8 St. Michaels............................................................IFC Stages....................................................................... 16 Sutubra..................................................................... 35 Swan Lake............................................................... 28 Sylvan Learning........................................................3 Theatre Skam............................................................8 Tigh Na Mara........................................................... 31 Tj’s The Kiddie Store.............................................37 Tom Lee....................................................................47 UVic Vikes................................................................ 18 Victoria Synchro.................................................... 59 Vicoria City Rowing Club...................................... 61 Victoria Academy of Ballet.................................. 14 Victoria Academy of Dramatic Arts.................. 40 Victoria Baby & Family Fair................................. 30 Victoria Bug Zoo.....................................................47 Victoria Gymnastics...............................................47 Victoria Hospital Foundation.............................. 57 VIHA.......................................................................... 54 Westmont Montessori........................................... 51 Westshore Dental.....................................................5 Westshore MX......................................................... 14 Westshore Parks and Recreation...................... 32 World Cup Soccer.................................................. 51

June 2019 61

CUTITOUT!

Healthy Father’s Day

S

o you are a dad. These days there is a new definition of father surfacing.

Words are starting to take on different meaning. For proof, just ask Siri. What is the definition of respect?

“A feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements and to regard the feelings, wishes or rights of others.”

Go ahead and check.

For years parents confused respect to mean that we should be loved, listened to and obeyed no matter what kind of a jerk we were behaving like! Now that’s entitlement. It also meant that we were feared. Who wants their kids to be afraid of them?

If you were fortunate enough to have a loving and emotionally available father, chances are you respected and trusted him. You knew he had your back and that he understood you. You have an internal guidance system because of this.

If this wasn’t your experience, parenting might be confusing. There will be times when

you second guess yourself and resort to “the old” ways. Going into the angry-dad mode feels good for a moment until you see your kids or partner’s pain. This doesn’t feel awesome.

Give yourself compassion. Chances are, you are treading on some new territory in

the feelings department. You might even be sharing your feelings in a way that you haven’t before. It turns out that doing so doesn’t make you weak, it makes you relatable, real and comfortable to be around. You aren’t

dismissing your own feelings or those of your kids, you’re listening. Being present like this is bold considering the old messages told you that feelings are dangerous.

A child’s greatest learning comes from simply seeing how you show up in the world. Men are highly capable of nurturing children even though they don’t have the tattas to breastfeed.

How you guide may be slightly different than the old discipline approach of using reward, punishment and a dash of shame. Your guidance, which could be called discipling, is in your ability to practice self-discipline. While this puts a little pressure on you, it’s also quite liberating because this means you get to grow, be who you truly are and possibly enjoy parenting more. You aren’t the dreaded father walking in the door to discipline kids.

You live up to today’s definition of dad: kind, strong, vulnerable, available and courageous.

Allison Rees has two LIFE Seminars books available: Sidestepping the Power Struggle and The Parent Child Connection. See lifeseminars.com.

Join us for an unforgettable summer!

JJuly-August Julyy g Ag ges 7-1 Ages 7-17

camps.brentwood.ca 62 Island Parent Magazine

IslandParent.ca

Summer Camps 2019 Play, learn, splash and create at Crystal Pool and Fitness Centre this summer! victoria.ca/recreation 250.361.0732

KUMON MATH & READING CENTRES OF: West Shore - Langford 115-963 Langford Parkway 778-746-7770 • westshore@ikumon.com Saanich 204-3965 Quadra Street 250-479-1800 • lindabirley@ikumon.com

* Enroll between 6/1/19 and 6/30/19 to waive the Enrollment Fee of up to $50. The Enrollment Fee includes services such as processing, student evaluation and lesson plan development. Enrollment Fee waiver only valid at participating Kumon Math & Reading Centres.

Most Kumon Centres are independently owned and operated.

Additional fees may apply. See centre for applicable terms and conditions. ©2019 Kumon Canada, Inc. All rights reserved.

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