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Vancouver Island’s Parenting Resource for 33 Years
Back@School Yes or No?
Fright Night Festivities
Zero-waste School Lunches
The Truth About Step-parents
2  Island Parent Magazine
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In Every Issue 5
TA B L E O F C O N T E N T S
Fast Forward
Features 10
Back@School…Yes or No? Four Island parents tell us how they reached their decision and why.
KELLY CLEEVE, LAURA TRUNKEY, SERENA BECK & HANNAH JULL
SUE FAST
6
Need to Know
18
What’s for Dinner
22
EMILLIE PARRISH
20
The Truth About Step-Parents
Mom’s POV
The good, the bad and the snuggly parts of step-parenting.
SARAH SEITZ
KELLY CLEEVE
BUD RIDOUT
25
5 Family-friendly Things to Do in Comox Valley
From searching for sea lions to visiting the airforce museum, there’s lots to do in the Comox Valley. GRETTA & JAY KENNEDY
24
Dadspeak
26
30
Family Calendar
For the love of a Little Free Library.
Kids’ Reads
Check It Out
JOHN THRELFALL
34
COVID-19 Test for Children & Youth
What to expect if your child needs a COVID-19 test. BC CENTRE FOR DISEASE CONTROL
28
CHRISTINA VAN STARKENBURG
32
Preschool & Child Care Directory
36
Nature Notes CORAL FORBES
38
Cut It Out! ALLISON REES
ONTHECOVER
14
O C T/ N OV 2 02 0
Fright Night Festivities
Ways to make the most of Halloween during a pandemic.
Vancouver Island’s Parenting Resource for 32 Years
Back@School Yes or No?
16
Puberty Survival Kit
How gathering “supplies” can be a medium for easy and comfortable dialogue about puberty. JENNIFER GIBSON
Island Parent is a proud member of
BC 4 Island Parent Magazine
Fright Night Festivities
Zero-waste School Lunches
The Truth About Step-parents
Xaiyna G (15), Ezra G (2) & Quorbin G (7) Photo by Kimberley Kufaas Photography, kimberleykufaas.com
Jim Schneider Publisher publisher@islandparent.ca Sue Fast Editor editor@islandparent.ca Linda Frear Account Manager/Office Manager linda@islandparent.ca Kristine Wickheim Account Manager kristine@islandparent.ca Island Parent Magazine, published by Island Parent Group Enterprises Ltd., is a monthly publication that honours and supports parents by providing information on resources and businesses for Vancouver Island families. Views expressed are not necessarily those of the publisher. No material herein may be reproduced without the permission of the publisher. Annual mail subscriptions (12 issues) are available for $35 (GST included). Canadian Publication Mail Product Sales Agreement 40051398. ISSN 0838-5505.
Island Parent Magazine 250-388-6905 islandparent.ca
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FA STF O RWA R D
The Importance of Celebration
N
ow more than ever we need to take time to appreciate the small things and to celebrate milestones, occasions and traditions—even if we have to wear a face mask while doing so! Whether it’s birthdays, Halloween, Christmas or Kwanzaa, carrying on traditions and celebrating milestones is important. Not only does it mark the occasion, but it can diffuse stress and spark much-needed joy. Especially now, amidst the pandemic. With Thanksgiving and Halloween creeping up on us and then all of the winter festivities right around the corner, it’s hard to know how celebrations will look this year. When it comes to Halloween, Provincial Health Officer Dr. Bonnie Henry recommends staying outside, only hosting small groups, not asking trick-or-treaters to sing for their treats and pre-packaging candies so kids can approach one at a time for safety. And, of course, masks are encouraged. But don’t wait for the “official” occasions to celebrate. In “Why You Should Celebrate Everything,” an article for Psychology Today, author Polly Campbell says any celebration is really about taking time to notice the good stuff in your life—big and small. So high five the clean room, eat ice cream in the bath, celebrate the raked leaves.
According to research conducted by professors Dr. Robert A. Emmons and Dr. Michael McCullough, people who cultivate a daily attitude of celebration and gratitude have more energy, less stress and anxiety, are more likely to help others, exercise more frequently, sleep better, have improved physical health, and make better progress toward achieving personal goals. Simply making a weekly list of things that make us grateful can help. You don’t need decorations or presents to celebrate a great moment, insists Campbell. Just follow these three steps: 1. Notice the moment. Notice what is working in your life, what’s good, and you’ll find something to celebrate. 2. Move out of the routine and set the scene. Go to a special place in your home, or to a beautiful location outside and give your attention to the moment of goodness or achievement. Whatever you celebrate, set the moment apart by stepping out of your routine for just a few minutes. 3. Commemorate the moment. Make a toast, prepare a special food, high five, light a candle, dance. “Animate the moment with a powerful, celebratory action that fires up positive energy,” says Campbell, “and enjoy the goodness that you have in your life.” Sue Fast
Fun, Interactive Online Classes and Groups! Even COVID can’t stop us!
Classes Online (live, interactive, local) Ÿ Ÿ Ÿ Ÿ
Childbirth Preparation & Refreshers Baby Care & Infant First Aid Cloth Diapering Workshop Baby-Wearing Workshop
975 Fort Street, Victoria - motheringtouch.ca - 250-595-4905 IslandParent.ca
Retail Store - In-Person Shopping Monday-Saturday - 10am-5pm Ÿ Ÿ Ÿ Ÿ Ÿ
Breastpump sales & rentals Nursing bras and tops Cloth diapers and accessories Baby Carriers Baby Clothes, Books and Toys
Baby Groups Online and Outdoors! Pre and Postnatal Yoga in the Park! October/November 2020 5
N E E DTO KN OW
Putting Our ‘HeArts Together’ To help address the isolation felt by some of the community’s most vulnerable citizens during the COVID-19 pandemic, and to remind us all to continue to be safe and caring as we move forward together, Saanich Parks, Recreation and Community Services has worked with community partners to “put our hearts together.” Through the “HeArts Together” Community Art Project, hand-made hearts have been created by residents of long-term care facilities, participants accessing services through a number of community service organizations, and children and youth participating in Saanich Recreation programs. Hearts and messages are being assembled in outdoor displays in parks around Saanich starting with Rutledge, Cadboro/Gyro and Rainbow Parks. To learn more about the project and the displays, visit saanich.ca.
So You Want to Be a Citizen Scientist There’s a whole lot of science needing to be done these days, and not enough professional scientists to do it. But there is a solution! Citizen science—also known as community science—is a way for the rest of us to pitch in by helping to collect important data about the natural world. Collaboration between the public and scientists has been ongoing for years, especially with smartphones and other technologies making it easier for amateurs to contribute information. To find out how, visit wwf.ca.
Demarried Life Getting a divorce? Or maybe just thinking of one? Erin Skillen, Island Parent contributor, and Dee Woods survived theirs and have a new podcast about it to make you laugh. Hear how two post-married working moms figure out dating, co-parenting and the other stuff that happens when life takes a divorce detour. demarriedlife.com.
Help Protect the Shoreline The Great Canadian Shoreline Cleanup (GCSC) is one of the largest direct-action conservation programs in Canada, relying on volunteers across the country to keep litter from entering our waterways and putting wildlife at risk. Last year, volunteers removed 163,505 kilograms of litter from shorelines. Plan a cleanup of your own. Or join one. GCSC has resources—like a checklist and reminders on where to look for public-health information—to help you plan solo, household and small team cleanups, at shorelinecleanup.ca. 6 Island Parent Magazine
IslandParent.ca
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A pair of recent studies reveals a silver lining amid the COVID gloom: Many fathers feel closer to their kids during the pandemic and want to create a new normal going forward. The first study, conducted on behalf of the Canadian Men’s Health Foundation (CMHF) by Intensions Consulting, asked 1,019 Canadian fathers about the impact of the COVID lockdown on their roles as fathers. The results: • 40 per cent of respondents felt the lockdown has had a positive impact on their roles as fathers • 52 per cent were more aware of their importance as a father • 60 per cent felt closer to their kids • 49 per cent have decided to be more engaged as a father in the future Almost two thirds of respondents have been providing companionship to their children more often during lockdown, and almost half plan to continue doing so as restrictions are lifted. Likewise, 56 per cent have been providing guidance to their children more often, with 46 per cent planning to continue doing so, too. As a follow up to the online survey, The Men’s Initiative (TMI) at UBC conducted virtual focus groups with 45 fathers from across Canada. Many fathers described a hectic family dynamic prior to COVID with busy lives focused on long work days with commuting, eating on the run, children’s schedules, including sports, extracurricular and social activities and the family members experiencing lives lived in parallel with each other. As the pandemic evolves, fathers also expressed concern that they will experience a tension between shifting back to the “old normal,” and a desire to create a new normal. “We know the active and positive presence of fathers in their children’s lives has a positive effect on those children’s mental and physical well-being and reduces the frequency of their negative behaviours,” said Dr. David Kuhl, a UBC Professor of Medicine and a co-founder of TMI. For “Dad Tips” to help parents find a balance, visit DontChangeMuch.ca.
2 Phase Expression Double Pumping Solutions by
Larch St.
Entrance off Larch St.
T.J.’s
October/November 2020 7
The Show Must Go On(line)! Story Theatre’s touring performances have been postponed until Spring 2021, but in the meantime, their artists and freelancers are working on a variety of COVID-careful projects. Story Theatre will be offering fun digital content and educational resources online. Keep your eyes wide for the launch of The Story Club Interactive Storytelling Kits delivered directly to your home. storytheatre.ca
RBCM’s Collecting for Our Time Project The Royal BC Museum (RBCM) and archives is gathering B.C.’s pandemic stories in real time and hopes to build a longer-term collecting project to capture this legacy. What do you think should be collected, and how do you think B.C. communities will want to remember this historic time? RBCM is collecting perspectives, photos, videos and mementoes that will help tell the story of this moment for future generations (no actual object, please). Contribute via the online submission form at royalbcmuseum.bc.ca/covid-19-collecting-our-time.
Shrinking the Digital Learning Gap Many B.C. students are without reliable access to computers, laptops or the internet at home—particularly those who are from lower-income households. Roughly 23,000 children in B.C. will require technology loans from their schools for remote learning. London Drugs and BC Technology Learning Society are teaming up, asking for donations of gently-used laptops and computers along with monitors and keyboards that can be restored and given to as many students as possible, for the start of the new school year. To find out how to donate items, visit greendeal.ca.
Home for Dinner Ronald McDonald House BC’s Home for Dinner fundraiser supports families whose time, energy and funds are channeled towards life-saving medical treatment for their children. Every donation supports families who must relocate to Vancouver for their child’s medical treatment, giving them a home-away-from-home and the chance to enjoy precious moments like sharing a family meal. To date, the program has raised over $100,000 for families. As it enters its third year amid a global pandemic, the initiative will continue with physical distancing guidelines and safety taking top priority. Register to participate at rmhbc.ca/home-for-dinner. 8 Island Parent Magazine
IslandParent.ca
culturedays.ca
Check out this month-long series of engaging, interactive events taking place throughout Vancouver Island—including Victoria, Nanaimo, Courtenay, and Campbell River—and across Canada until October 25. Featuring a line-up of free activities hosted across multiple platforms, BC Culture Days offers culture enthusiasts a collection of diverse content designed to suit all levels of accessibility in the midst of a global pandemic. From registered, in-person workshops and self-guided tours to livestream presentations and digital recordings, BC Culture Days’ 2020 edition will explore the ‘unexpected intersections’ of creative connection and artistic discovery.
5th Annual Kids Music Day On Friday, October 2, Keep Music Alive will partner with music schools, music stores and other music organizations around the world to hold special online events that benefit and celebrate kids playing music. The goal is to highlight the importance of including music in children’s education. Events will include virtual open houses, instrument petting zoos, free music lessons, student music performances, community/family jams, instrument donation drives, kids open mics and more. Due to the ongoing Covid pandemic, many Kids Music Day events will be virtual in 2020. kidsmusicday.org
What you should flush is as easy as…
1, 2, 3 Remember the Three Ps
www.crd.bc.ca/noflush IslandParent.ca
October/November 2020 9
Back @ Did you send your kids back to school?
That’s the question we asked four Island Parent writers. Here are their answers and how they reached their decision on whether or not to send their kids back to school.
Yes… T
hroughout the summer, every time I chatted with one of my girlfriends, the same question kept popping up: Are you sending your kids back to school? We couldn’t escape the discussion—it was all over social media and the news. Yet despite all the exposure, no clear answer emerged. It seemed like you were “damned if you do, damned if you don’t.” No matter what your decision, I commend your parenting and your choice. I chose to send my children back to school and here’s why. 1. Much of the research says this pandemic is not going away any time soon. If we are waiting for a vaccine, it may be a very long wait. So instead of wishing for the way things were, we need to learn how to function with the way things are. Truthfully, there are so many reasons to keep our children home from school: they could be hurt, they could be bullied, they could be accosted by a stranger while walking to school, there could be an earthquake, there could be lice, measles, runny noses… The list goes on and on. As parents, our natural instincts tell us to protect our babies at all cost. Despite this, we cannot live fully, being afraid. And I don’t want to make decisions based in fear. Yes, I am scared that my children may become ill. I am also afraid of all the other items on my list, yet I choose to push through my anxiety so that my children can see what it looks like to be brave, refusing to let fear hold us back from experiencing a full life. 2. I was a teacher for 15 years and I know that school staff is doing everything to keep our children safe. Teachers love our children and will protect them to the best of their ability. They will diligently remind them to wash their hands, keep their distance, and wear their face masks. I trust our teachers. I also know that they, too, are afraid. They feel pressure. Some feel unsupported. Some feel criticized for decisions over which they have had no control. They, truly, are in this with our children, for better or for worse. 3. I trust my children. Granted, at 11 and 14 years old, they 10 Island Parent Magazine
are able to understand the expectations and the reasons behind all of the precautions. I have taught them how to wash their hands properly and supplied them with hand sanitizer and face masks. I need to let go of control and allow my children the space to take care of themselves. They will make mistakes, of this I am sure. I make mistakes! There have been moments when I have left my facemask at home or forgotten to wash my hands. No one is perfect. My children may succumb to peer pressure, noticing that not all their friends are taking precautions. I choose to view this as a test run, an exercise in doing the right thing and making responsible choices. Very soon, they will be faced with more difficult decisions regarding sex, drugs and drinking. Considering this, I am grateful they have an opportunity to develop their sense of self and integrity before the big stuff hits. I acknowledge that being able to choose whether or not to send my children back to school is a privilege. I can consider this because we are all healthy and strong. No one in my family is ill. No one is immuno-compromised. We are blessed and I am not oblivious to the fact that, for some, this situation is exponentially more difficult. Even so, it was not an easy choice for me to make. After sharing my decision with my parents who are in their mid-60s, they wondered if they should continue to see my family once we return to school. Our safety bubbles are about to explode. With one child in elementary school and one in high school, their learning cohorts will, collectively, reach over 100 students and staff. We are also a blended family, which includes a step-son on my side and two step-sisters on my ex-husband’s side. With all of our children returning to school, our safety bubbles are now over 400. I don’t think we can consider it a safety bubble any longer. While I understand and support my parents’ hesitation, it still breaks my heart. This will be difficult for all of us, but we need to move forward in our lives. Whatever choice you make, there will be a cost to pay. No matter what you decide to do with your own children, I know that you have given it copious thought and you are doing what you believe is right. I don’t judge you. I hope you don’t judge me. This is a difficult situation and we need each other’s respect and support. Kelly Cleeve is a writer, speaker and educator. She has a Masters Degree in human development. More importantly, she is the proud mother of two beautiful boys. IslandParent.ca
School?
I
decided in March not to send my son, Angus, back to school this fall. I beat the rush for the Distributed Learning programs and applied to a number of them. In May he was accepted into EBUS, out of SD91. It took a lot of time for me to accept that I’d made the right decision. It was lucky I didn’t venture out of the house much in May, because everyone I ran into heard about how anxious I felt. Would this be detrimental to Angus—socially, emotionally, academically? And what about me and my own mental health? What had I done?! Angus went to school at South Park, which changed last year from a choice school to a catchment school. We are not in the catchment, so even if we decide we’d like him to return in Grade 5 next year, the chances are there will be no space for him. And he made friends there. He loved his Education Assistant (EA). His classes were small and he’d received support. But our bubble contains Angus’s grandparents. Mike has asthma. Angus has a hard time social-distancing. He can tolerate a mask for about 10 minutes. He puts things in his mouth when he’s overwhelmed—his hands, objects he finds around him. He needs physical touch—either for comfort, or (at school) to ensure he is paying attention. Unexpected routines and changes are a huge source of anxiety for him. Bricks and mortar school simply didn’t feel like an option. Also, I wanted Angus to have support if schools closed again. I picked EBUS as an alternative to traditional school because it’s one of 16 Distance Learning (DL) options in BC that will allow students with a designation, like Angus with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), the ability to earmark some of their special needs funding. EBUS lets us allocate $10,000 to services we feel Angus needs—an EA who will work with him two afternoons each week at home, occupational therapy, curriculum resources. From March to June, Angus had two 20-minutes Zooms and one backyard visit with his EA. This year, if schools close again, I know he’ll receive more support than that. Before the pandemic, I had talked to the school about homeschooling Angus in the afternoons, but they convinced me it wasn’t the right choice for him. When we had to learn from home I realized it was probably what I should have been doing all along. Angus was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder and had been prescribed anti-anxiety medication which we planned to start during spring break. While he was anxious at home, at school his anxiety was intense. He had daily meltdowns. We didn’t start the medication, but Angus’s anxiety has decreased considerably these last six months—and we’re in a pandemic! I like teaching Angus, and he learns well at home. We continued all through the summer. I’m able to focus on the things he needs most assistance with, filling gaps to bring him up to grade level in subjects he finds difficult. We started a multisensory phonics-based spelling program that has brought him from struggling to spell three-letter words IslandParent.ca
to spelling multi-syllable words with confidence. He’s learned his multiplication tables. Because we can take our time, I rarely scribe for him and the legibility of his printing—which is hampered by his fine motor challenges—has improved considerably. That said, he’s also learning how to type. I’m proud of his efforts and so is he. He experiences success, can take breaks when he needs to, and the only distraction is Charlie Brown the dog. I know the option of homeschooling is not open to everyone. We’re lucky. I work from home, and my work is flexible—I am the festival director for the Victoria Festival of Authors, I write, and I edit freelance. I can take on less of the latter if I need to (which I definitely do) and since life during a pandemic doesn’t seem to correspond with flashes of creative brilliance, it’s really only festival work I need to balance with homeschooling. Before Angus was born, I was an educational assistant. Therefore, I can convince myself—and more importantly my kid—that I know what I’m doing. And though Mike has returned to his job at Camosun College, our bubble is still relatively small—which is exactly how we want it. Learning from home is definitely not the right choice for everyone, but it’s the best decision we could have made for our family. Laura Trunkey is the mother of the amazing Angus, and the author of the story collection Double Dutch (House of Anansi, 2016). Find her at lauratrunkey.com.
No…
October/November 2020 11
M
y kids are back in school in kindergarten, Grade 2 and Grade 4. As I write this, I feel my anxiety rising—and I am not usually an anxious person. I sent my kids back to school because our family’s mental well-being depended on it. My husband and I have been working from home long before the pandemic. When the schools closed, life with us—as with most—became, well, more chaotic. Between trying to be teachers, employees, parents, playmates and referees, assisting with online school ate up all our daytime hours. Our kids love school, but they quickly lost interest in Zoom lessons, online playdates and online exercise classes. After having nothing but family-time, seeing our friends again in-person was a relief. Our family of five got along much better. We all needed this time to interact with friends, especially after surviving a summer of no sleepovers or playdates with grandparents. At first, it was just the mandated 6-feet-apart driveway visits. Then finally, as things continued to open up, our newly formed bubble became close-knit and based on trust. We all fully disclosed everyone we had contact with and when to mitigate our risks. Then, based on my husband or I needing to take a leave of absence to educate our kids if we continued to do the online learning thing, our kids, instead, went back to part-time school in June and we loved it. In September, my daughter had a few unexpected twists and turns with her return to school so now, despite having already made an earlier decision to send all three kids back to school, we are considering her request to do online schooling, as she struggles with another transition. When we were first considering whether or not to send our kids back to school, it was hard to gauge if there was a magic class size that made us feel more or less comfortable. With up of 60 people in each cohort, we would be interacting with more than half the school, 180 people in total. The class sizes are the regular 20-22 kids. I feel we are accepting more risk with our classroom and cohort sizes (we
Yes… 12 Island Parent Magazine
Back @
enjoyed our small 8 kids per class that we experienced in June). However, our kids’ happiness—and ours—upon returning to school felt like it outweighed the risks. The saddest part about returning to school was feeling forced to choose friends over family and school over grandparents. We can’t have both. We already spent the entire year isolating from the kids’ grandparents. Now that school has started, we said goodbye through the fence and said maybe we’ll see them in 2021. During Christmas break we self-isolate for 14 days, then we can see the grandparents on Sunday, January 3, 2021. This is the only way we can ensure we are virus free. This isn’t a practical choice, because then it means we can’t see any of our friends over the holidays, breaking yet more traditions. I would never forgive myself if we made one of the grandparents sick. We could be asymptomatic carriers. It’s heartbreaking to know we’ve all missed a summer of sleepovers and play dates and they will never get this time back. However, we are thankful that we are all healthy. I worry about the toll this virus is having on our kids’ mental health and everyone’s mental health. I find myself questioning every cough, every sneeze, and every sniffle. I am the bodily function police for our family. “Did you just clear your throat? Why did you clear your throat? Did you sneeze because you touched our cat?” Every parent has this additional daily job now. With the poor air quality during the fires and smoke in September, my son had a congested nose. I debated if he could go to school. Would allergy medicine help? He also has asthma and so do I. My chest felt tight when I went outside in the smoke. Is it our air quality, I wondered, or is it COVID? Not only am I the mom who sent her child back to school, but I sent him back to school with a stuffy nose. I fear being the family that brings down the entire school with illness. However, my allergy justification is that the rest of our family is fine, the rest of our cohort is fine, and the rest of our bubble is fine. But are we? Are we all asymptomatic carriers? No one can say for sure without a test, which is why my son took a COVID test not long ago. We decided it was necessary after a headache and abdominal pain were added to the mix and we spoke to the testing hotline. My son’s best friend—in his class and bubble—had the same symptoms. But we had been breathing the same smoke-filled air. Smoke or COVID? She took a COVID test, too. Thankfully, both tests came back negative. How many COVID tests will we need to take this flu season? I know we’re all just trying to make the best decision for our families. Hopefully, our school year will continue to safely proceed with a few extra sprinkles of caution and negative COVID test results. Perhaps, we’ll even be able to relax. That would be a nice first for 2020. Serena Beck works full-time as a Technical Writer. She loves to write, travel and swim at the beach with family and friends. IslandParent.ca
School?
D
espite reading an awful lot about virus spread, infection risk and so on, I am still, very much, not medically qualified. And so my family’s decisions are less to do with health and safety than they are to do with ensuring our five children have the happiest year possible, during a time of great personal and global upheaval. I might not be a medical expert, but I am mum to the power of five, and as I write this, it is six months since our schools closed and we started living in this new world. That means, my youngest son, 18 months, has spent a third of his life socially distanced. My four-year-old, 12.5 per cent ...you get the idea. Since the pandemic began, we have plucked our children from their routine-based lives, separated them from extended family members, thrown them into a home-based life with stressed adults who constantly mutter about viruses. Now we awant to push them back out into a world that is in many respects, unrecognizable. I can’t imagine how children, however adaptable, will reconcile their return to school amidst such change, with new rules around where they can go, who they can be close to, and how they are expected to behave with others. All of the social norms that we have been modelling for children—from handshakes, to visiting people’s homes, to hugging—have been demolished. Reintroducing school adds another layer, with policies that, for example, keep parents out of the classroom. That might be necessary for safety, but it will be difficult for some children, especially younger children, or those who find transitions difficult. That said, schools are making enormous efforts to keep students and staff safe. But those measures require compliance and physical space—not always easy for early elementary-aged children. Because our family is willing and able to take this year away from the classroom, we can, in turn, increase the space available for those who want and need to be at school. To us it seems that staying home could even have a net positive contribution. Worries about returning aside, I am excited about the chance to be involved with my children’s learning more closely. We’re excited to make the most of educating from home, especially at home on a beautiful island, able to enjoy spectacular scenery at our doorstep. This is an opportunity to homeschool without it even being seen as a niche approach to schooling. Distance learning and registered homeschoolers numbers are seeing a huge increase, worldwide. For us, the difficult part of the sudden school closures this year wasn’t really the isolation, or the remote learning, or even the queues for toilet paper. Our children, like many of us, struggled most with the uncertainty about what would happen next. This uncertainty isn’t over. After such a tumultuous and unsettled six months, we are all relieved to have a plan in place with no variables or worries about how the kids’ education might be impacted by a second wave. Academically speaking, there couldn’t be a better time to IslandParent.ca
No… home educate. There are great online resources, and if you are hoping for more support, there are plenty of distance-learning options that provide some more structure. And socially, keeping my kids home shouldn’t be too hard on them, because with five young children, our house often seems like a small (albeit a poorly-run and mutinous) school. Much of the normal school-based socializing is going to be compromised this year regardless: limited/no team sports, no close physical contact. My children might be learning at home, but they will still be able to go on playdates and continue with some favourite sports. They’ll have some flexibility to attend homeschool lessons, or music lessons, and still keep our bubble small enough to feel confident about visiting with older relatives. We are keeping our children home this year, but we wouldn’t hesitate to send them back if they wanted to go, or if we needed them to. It is a privilege to be in a position to make this decision. If my children didn’t have a ready-made friendship group at home, if I was worried about their mental health suffering because they were particularly desperate to go to school, then this article would be completely to the contrary. Ultimately, though, we are keeping them home because it works for them, for us, for now. Hannah Jull is a writer and mum-of-five living in Victoria. Originally from London, UK (the mum) but now on Vancouver Island (and the mom), she blogs at the Mum and the Mom: themumandthemom.com.
October/November 2020 13
Fright Night Festivities
S
ure Halloween is going to look different this year compared to how it’s looked in the past, but don’t let that scare you! Not only does this year’s Halloween fall on a Saturday, but it also coincides with a rare ‘Blue’ moon (the second full moon in one month). So here’s to having a howling good time on Howl-o-ween, er, Halloween when wearing a mask this year is par for the course! Happy Halloween!
Organized Community Events
Several community groups, organizations and businesses are planning adapted versions of Halloween traditions. Check with your local recreation centres, municipalities, chamber of commerce and business association to find out what’s happening in your neck of the woods. Here’s a small sampling. Please check for updates before setting out.
Halloween Pumpkin Walk & Fireworks
October 31, 6:30-8pm at Qualicum Bay Civic Centre Field and Trails. Spooky Pumpkin Walk, bonfire, fireworks, hotdogs and treats. Downtown trick or treating from 3-5pm. qualicumbeach.com.
Galey Farms Halloween Festivities
Galey Farms’ favourite season is here, and although we all have to do things differently due to Covid 19, they are gearing up for outdoor fall fun at Canada’s leading 2-hectare Corn Maze. Galey Farms has cut its Corn Maze paths 4 meters wide to keep staff and visitors safe due to Covid 19 protocols. Open to ticket holders only. Tickets will be sold online at galeyfarms. net. 14 Island Parent Magazine
Halloween Parade & Party
October 31, 3-5pm, Downtown Courtenay. Activities on Duncan Ave from 3-5pm including music, games, crafts, cookie decorating, Books for Treats at the Vancouver Island Regional Library and more. Trick or Treating at 4pm at local businesses. downtowncourtenay.com.
Victoria Bug Zoo’s 1st Virtual Halloween Party
There are all-ages events and a time recommended for those 19+. Each time slot will have creepy bug stories and a mini tour of our zoo. There will also be a costume contest. One winner will be chosen from each time slot. One admission per computer/household (fareharbor.com). All you need is a computer and internet access. victoriabugzoo.ca.
Pick a Pumpkin at a Local Pumpkin Patch
The perfect socially-distanced Halloween activity, picking your own pumpkin is a great way to celebrate Halloween. Once you’ve picked the perfect pumpkin, why not organize a neighbourhood Jack-o-lantern Jamboree and vote for your favourites—silliest, spookiest, most unusual, and so on. It’s another way to celebrate together while still staying apart! IslandParent.ca
Create Your Own Craziness
Watch Scary Movies
Go Big On Decorating
Plan a Halloween Hunt
A little imagination goes a long way on Halloween! Get your kids involved and see what you can come up with as a family. Here are some ideas to get you started.
Pull out all of the decorating stops—and challenge your neighbours to do the same. Make a headless scarecrow, maybe. Or suspend a ghost from the front porch. Carve multiple pumpkins and have a family pumpking decorating contest.
Individually Bag Treats
Leave the bags on a table on your driveway for kids to take as they pass by. Or, if you’re feeling extra creative, dangle treats from a tree so trick or treaters can pick their favourite treat as the do their rounds. And as one reader suggests: “We are giving out full size candy—they deserve it this year. In our sanitized haunted yard. We will have a huge table filled with treats so kids can grab and go (after a scare that is!).
Age appropriate, of course! And if you want to invite the neighbours (and you own a projector), screen the movies outdoors. Rocketcitymom.com suggests buying hula hoops at a dollar store to establish six-foot boundaries between family groups. As a family or as a neighbourhood, create clues for a Treat Treasure Hunt then track them down in costume. Is the treasure bags of candy? A Halloween trinket? You decide the details and then enlist the help and participation of any other Halloween revellers.
Make a Halloween Candy Slide
The slide lets you stay six feet away from any trick-or-treaters while still getting candy into their baskets —plus, it looks like a spooky mummy to fit the spirit of the season. Thanks to two DIY-savvy Youtubers, you can find instructions at youtube. com/watch?v=aedJ-GuMz90
PANDEMIC FRIENDLY BIRTHDAY PARTIES NERF BATTLES • COMBAT ARCHERY • LASER TAG IslandParent.ca
October/November 2020 15
Puberty Survival Kit O
ne of my most favourite experiences as a “fun” Auntie to several fabulous young humans was building puberty supply kits.
The trial run happened without any prompting from me (surprising, given my day job as a sexual health educator!) when my oldest nephew came to stay with me for a hockey tournament. On our way to stock up on snacks of questionable nutritional value, we were catching up on life in Grade 5 when my nephew asked me if I thought he was going to go through puberty soon? I responded by telling him that, given what I know from my job, he was already in the process. Did that mean, he asked, if it was time for some “supplies?” I asked him what he meant by supplies? “Deodorant. Body Wash. Boxers,” he replied. “Definitely Deodorant. Some of the guys on my team have been using it since last year!” I suggested that maybe we could build a puberty supply kit together over the weekend. The kit quickly became our medium for easy and comfortable dialogue about puberty. We spent a considerable amount of time smell-testing deodorant and body wash which enabled a talk about how the “smelly” products do not replace every day showers. We talked about how going through puberty takes a lot of energy and sleep to keep energy levels up and feelings stable. I tried to give him a heads up that his parents really aren’t out of it when they enforce bedtime, face washing and teeth brushing! We talked about how to wash changing bodies: genitals don’t require soap on the inside (they’re not dirty!) and just a bit of mild soap on the outside with a gentle pull pack and wipe with a cloth if a penis has foreskin. We talked about how even when we take good care of our skin, inevitably pimples will happen to most people during puberty and not just on the face but on sometimes on backs, chest and legs—especially if someone’s physically active.
We had a great yet brief discussion about feeling self-conscious about pimples and how we are often way more aware and critical of ourselves than others are! Empathy and grace work with ourselves, too. We talked about his love of sports and how that helps him physically and emotionally reset and this led us to keeping sports equipment including skates, cleats, and bags clean and aired out and how growing up also means taking responsibility to care for our stuff, for example, not leaving it to others in our families to deal with (insert wishful thinking here!) We laughed about how obvious it is when we’re not airing the equipment out because you can smell the funky socks, running shoes, and gloves long before you see them! Over the course of the weekend, I encouraged him to trust his body as it practices to be an adult through the process of puberty. Framing puberty through a practice metaphor helped to surface more personal topics like erections and wet dreams, aka nocturnal emissions. We laughed about how bodies with a penis practice to be adults, in the form of random and awkward erections and wet dreams. We spoke about how to manage the random erections—a) think of something else and b) physically move your body to redirect blood flow—and a firm reminder that erections aren’t always connected to sexual feelings. There was a brief (less comfortable yet still manageable) exchange about wet dreams and how if there’s a few drops of fluid on the inside of boxers/pyjamas/sheets from your penis in the morning simply put them in the laundry. We debated briefs vs boxers for comfort, preference, and testicular health and how the scrotum needs support during sports but it’s all about the hang loose/airflow at night. Just as importantly, we talked about the emotional supplies needed during puberty. This is often a conversation that gets most often missed with our male-identifying youth and yet it’s vital to their well-being. What supplies/tools aka coping mechanisms are needed to manage the emotional and social changes ahead; the moments that feel too big, too hard, too frustrating, or too confusing? What tools already work for him? Is it shooting hoops in the driveway when your sister annoys you? Is it going for a rip on your bike because you got a low mark on your socials test? Is it gaming because you feel you need an escape? Is it playing with the dog because you’re anxious? These are the tools that we need to be reminded of as we gather the supplies to practice to be an adult! Did we cover every facet of puberty in two days? Absolutely not but that’s what follow up visits with fun Auntie are for, right?
www.kimberleykufaas.com |
@westcoastlife
Jennifer Gibson, MA, is also known as “The Sex Lady”—officially now for 15 years in Greater Victoria!—to the thousands of amazing youth and adults she is lucky to educate and learn with through her job as the Coordinator of Community Education at Island Sexual Health. She’s passionate about making sexuality education as positive, fun and non-cringeable as possible. IslandParent.ca
October/November 2020 17
W H AT’ SF O R D I N N E R
Zero-waste School Lunches
B
ack to school is always a time of uncertainty. Will the kids like their teachers? Will their best friends be in their class? How will the school drops offs and childcare arrangements work? This year has the added uncertainty of COVID-19 and the potential for disrupted workplaces and school schedules. Among all of this, there is one thing that’s certain, the importance of a healthy lunch. Food is the fuel that provides the energy needed for running around the playground and learning. It’s what feeds the immune system and keeps us healthy. That’s why it is really important to have a lot of healthy lunch options in our fridge and cupboards, particularly zerowaste lunch options.
Zero-waste lunches are:
• Simple! With the right ingredients in your kitchen, it shouldn’t take much longer than packaged food options. • Healthier! Processed food replaces the flavour of fresh ingredients with fat, salt and sugar. • Fun! Lots of options means that everyone will find something they enjoy.
18 Island Parent Magazine
Here are a few tips to making zero-waste lunches a success:
1. Keep all the lunch foods in one location in the fridge and cupboards. That way it’s really easy to see what you have and keep track of when you need to stock up. 2. Have your kids pack their own lunches. Just let them know where they can find the food and let them fill their own containers. 3. For younger kids, it’s worthwhile explaining the importance of eating from all the food groups. Or give them labeled containers with: vegetables, fruit, carbs and protein so they can make sure to have a balanced lunch.
Hard boiled eggs Edemame Fruits and Vegetables Carrot sticks Cucumbers Cherry tomatoes Peas and green beans Grapes Manderine oranges Apples Carbohydrates Crackers Pretzels Corn chips Rice cakes Popcorn
When stocking up for zerowaste lunches try to find a variLeftovers also make great zero-waste ety of different food options. lunches. Just make a double batch of dinHere are some suggestions:
Protein Sunflower seeds, pumpkin seeds Chickpea snacks Cheese Pepperoni sticks Peanut butter (or alternative butters)
ner then let your kids reheat it for their thermoses. Soups, stews and hearty salads are usually taste better the next day. Here are two recipes that benefit from spending a night in the fridge. Both of them are eaten cold, so all you have to do is fill a thermos for a healthy and delicious lunch.
IslandParent.ca
French Lentil Salad
(Total time: 20 minutes)
This lentil salad is completely customizable to suit your taste. Feel free to replace the tomatoes and cucumber with grated carrot, steamed broccoli or green beans. Switch the feta for toasted sunflower seeds or cubes of cheddar. Add olives or toasted pinenuts for a richer flavour. However, you mix it, lentils are perfect for a healthy and delicious lunch.
3. Mix the olive oil, vinegar, mustard and salt in the bottom of a large bowl. Then add the vegetables, mixing to combine. 4. When the lentils are finished cooking, drain them and rinse with cold water. Add to the vegetables and dressing; mix to combine. 5. Top with the crumbled feta. 6. This salad can be eaten right away, however, it is best if made in advance so the flavours can blend.
Tex Mex Bean Salad
1 cup of dried lentils 2 tomatoes 1 cucumber 2 spring onions 4 Tbsp olive oil 2 Tbsp cider vinegar 1 tsp Dijon mustard 1 tsp salt (or more to taste) 1⁄2 cup crumbled feta cheese
(Total prep time: 15 minutes)
This bean salad is also delicious as a really hearty salsa. Serve with corn chips or corn tortillas for a fun and flavourful lunch. If chili powder is too spicy for your children’s tastes, then use a mix of 1 tsp cumin and 1 tsp sweet paprkia instead.
1. Boil the lentils in 3 cups of water until just starting to soften. Usually, it only takes about 15 minutes. 2. Prepare the rest of the salad while the lentils cook. Dice the tomatoes, cucumber and spring onions into bite-sized pieces.
1 can black beans 1 can kidney beans 1 large red bell pepper 6 spring onions
4 roma tomatoes 1⁄2 cup of frozen corn 1⁄4 cup olive oil 1⁄4 cup cider vinegar 11⁄2 tbsp lemon juice 2 tsp chilli powder 1⁄2 tsp ground black pepper 11⁄2 tsp salt, to taste 1. Drain and rinse each of the cans of beans and place the beans in a large bowl. 2. Chop the red pepper, spring onions and tomatoes into bite-sized pieces and add to the beans. Run the frozen corn under warm water to defrost, then add them to the salad. 3. Add the oil, vinegar, lemon juice and spices. Toss everything to coat. Taste and adjust the salt as needed. 4. The flavour of this salad improves with time, so it’s perfect for leftovers!
Emillie Parrish writes from Victoria and Saturna Island. She is the author of the Pacific Northwest lifestyle blog BerriesAndBarnacles. com.
In-Pers On-Lin on & e Optio ns
STAGES Performing Arts School
ses
las o l C .. o h els. -S c Pre tle ang e lit t im Day or the f
since 1980
Come Dance With Us
• Offering classes for Teens & Pre-Teens in Jazz, Ballet, Lyrical, Tap. Musical Theatre, Acrobatics & Hip Hop, in a non-competitive atmosphere. • Not sure which class to take? - Try a Drop-In: No hassle, No Obligation. STAGES Performing Arts School
#301 1551 Cedar Hill X Rd Call 250-384-3267 Email us at: stagesdance@shaw.ca Or visit our website: www.stagesdance.com IslandParent.ca
October/November 2020 19
M O M ’ S P OV
The Art of the Apology
A
s a big fan of the handwritten note, I was touched when my nine-year-old daughter first came to me with a written apology. It read: “I’m sorry for the way I behaved. I hope you can forgive me.” I clutched the note to my chest and smiled with the pride of raising a child who is so considerate and reflective. It was a dozen or so apology notes later when I realized we had a problem.
anger, I pinched an arm to get her attention. It worked. I had her attention, but I had also inflicted pain that brought her to tears. I returned to her room after spending a few minutes pacing and deep breathing to calm down. I was in the middle of my apology to my daughter when she said, “Mom, you used the word ‘but’ and you always tell me not to use that word in an
While I was impressed with my daughter’s ability to offer a heartfelt apology after an outburst, they were coming in at an alarming rate. I knew that it was time to push back my sleeves and address the behaviour that required the apology. But before I could get to that, I needed to offer her an apology. After a particularly challenging day, I was tired and just wanted to get to the oasis of my couch and Netflix. My daughter was refusing to move the bedtime routine along and, in my
apology.” I was about to tell her that my ‘but’ was beside the point but she was right: I was giving her my excuses and reasons for hurting her instead of apologizing for it. It seemed that my daughter understood how to offer an apology while mine needed some work. On the other hand, she appeared to have no intention of correcting her behaviour while I was determined to find more mature ways to discipline than pinching.
20 Island Parent Magazine
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I found a podcast with Dr. Brené Brown and psychologist Dr. Harriet Lerner discussing her book Why Won’t You Apologize? I was intrigued when the author shared her research that showed the number one reason children become adults who don’t apologize is because their parents didn’t simply say “Thank you for the apology. I appreciate it.” Dr. Lerner says that when a child approaches a parent to apologize, “the parent unleashes an ocean of criticism.” In that situation, she said offering an apology is going to seem like a mistake and a futile process to the child and they are likely to avoid it in the future. I certainly had been guilty of this. It also made sense to learn that one of the most common reasons parents don’t apologize to their kids is because they fear doing so will reduce their child’s respect for their authority. If we just let our kids apologize without discussing the behaviour, aren’t we being permissive? Dr. Lerner believes that the opposite is true; a heartfelt apology offers emotional safety in the parent-child relationship. The learning comes from the conversation at a later time when both parent and child are calm. After all, no one is really open to feedback when they feel criticized and defensive. I learned that according to Dr. Lerner, there are nine factors that make up a heartfelt apology and I was doing none of them. The one factor that really stood out to me was that if the word “but” appears anywhere in an apology, you aren’t offering one. Rather, you are giving your reasons, justifiers and excuses instead of owning your part. A true apology is about owning your actions and is intended for the other person. It does not sound like “I’m really sorry that I pinched your arm, but you were being a real twerp.” Likewise, my daughter needed to learn another of the other factors that Dr. Lerner identified: An apology “needs to be backed by corrective action.” It’s what was missing in my daughter’s apology notes. In order to truly apologize, one needs to be able to reflect on what they can do in the future to avoid the same hurt in the relationship. I’m no expert in child psychology, but I can tell you that I had yet to observe selfreflection in my child. Real-life is messy. As parents, we don’t always behave in ideal ways and our children certainly don’t. No one wants to think of themselves poorly, so when we’ve hurt someone, it’s natural to want to ease that discomfort with reasons that justify our behaviour. With kids, this often sounds like “but he hit me first!” or “but he called me stupid!” I don’t know when “personal accountability” as a concept can attach to children’s developing brains, but it seems to me that until my daughter’s frontal lobe develops, there will continue to be a steady stream of notes coming my way. In the meantime, I hope that modelling how to receive and offer an apology in a heartfelt way with my children will teach them to be accountable for their behaviour in a way they can understand. And since you can’t go around pinching people without having to apologize, it’s worth the effort to learn how to do it well. Sarah Seitz is a working mother, wife and writer. She spends her free time cutting off crusts and uses good coffee and humour to get through the day. IslandParent.ca
October/November 2020 21
The Truth About Step-parents T
here is a gaping hole in the conversation about parenting. Sure there’s ample discussion about positive discipline practices, growth mindset, resilience, emotional intelligence, and play based learning. There are articles written for mothers, fathers, adoptive parents, foster parents and single parents. However, it seems no one is talking about a growing population of people who love and struggle, just like the rest of us do. No one is talking about the difficulties of being a step-parent. No one grows up hoping to become a step-parent. It’s something that just happens to you, a curveball thrown your way. When I was a young girl, I knew I wanted to be a mother. I would play dolls and role play with my friends, acting out the caring nature I saw modelled by my own mom. I never once imagined, “What if these make-believe children weren’t actually mine?” I never thought I would be divorced. Another curveball. All of a sudden, I was a single mother, raising two small boys on my own. I wasn’t alone, though; many of my girlfriends found themselves in the same boat. We shared articles, podcasts and books about the struggles of being a single parent. We spoke openly about our fears, our challenges and our hopes for the future. We formed a supportive community, picking each other’s children up from school, babysitting and cooking meals when someone had to work late. For a while, it was like a single mom’s sister-wife club. After a few years, I met a wonderful man and we fell in love. He came with a plus one—a son. With sweet naivety, my new beau moved into my home and we planned to create a loving, safe space for all of our children. We both shared custody with our exes and we had a vision of bringing said exes into the folds of our life, co-parenting with grace and respect. Though it may not be surprising to you, it was shocking to me that our exes were not on board with this unicornsand-butterflies version of our new reality. There were very clear lines drawn in the sand in terms of boundaries, and new business-like relationships were formed, instead of close friendships as I had hoped. 22 Island Parent Magazine
Along with navigating custody arrangements and learning to co-parent with your ex, your new relationship is complicated by an instantaneous change in family dynamics. When you fall in love in your twenties, you hold hands and gaze romantically into each other’s eyes as you daydream about the children you might have together, in the future. Falling in love the second time around does not afford you this luxury. Moving in with someone is complicated, at the best of times, as you adapt to the other person’s habits, expectations and quirks. Now, throw three children into that
dynamic and you can imagine how unromantic the situation might be. In the midst of growing a marriage and a new relationship, you are also carefully walking through a landmine of worries, anger, and fear from the children, who have not asked for this enormous change. It was uncomfortable for our children, being parented by someone new. It is even harder to allow someone else to parent your children. It requires an extreme level of trust, one which might not have developed yet, when you first choose to blend families.
IslandParent.ca
In truth, the children handled the change with more grace than either my husband or I. Here’s the straight talk. You can care for someone else’s child. You can console them, help them with homework, feed them, laugh with them, play with them and drive them to practice. However, when the proverbial sh*t hits the fan, the biological parents have executive decision making power. Your opinions and advice, as the stepparent, may go unheard and then you need to sit back, zip your lips and try your best to be supportive. You and your new spouse may try to co-parent as a team, but there will be moments when you just can’t because, at the end of the day, that’s not your child and you may be out voted. It’s a tricky situation, one which requires a complete lack of ego. Easier said than done. As time progresses and trusting relationships are formed, everyone will likely find a new normal. But it isn’t easy. For the first year of my new marriage, I questioned if I had made a gigantic mistake. I held on strongly to my belief that we are given what we can handle and that every adversity is an opportunity to grow and become a better human. That’s what got me through the tough moments and what still carries me. I am seven years into this marriage and there are still times when I feel I am failing as a step-parent. It’s a role that is relatively new in our society, and one for which I feel very little advice is offered. A step-parent is a care-giver, a cheerleader, a scapegoat at times, a sounding board for your spouse, a friend and a chauffeur. But you are not your stepchild’s mother or father. So to all of you step-parents, I say this: You are the unsung heroes, the ones who swallow their egos, who lose sleep over children who are not yours. It’s not easy being in this role. And, I think it’s okay to say we don’t always act with grace. Our feelings may be hurt, our pride bruised, our voices unheard. But we get up every day and support our spouse in the hardest job they will ever do: raising their children. And they do the same. After all, we’re in it together.
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Kelly Cleeve is a writer, speaker and educator. She has a Masters Degree in human development. More importantly, she is the proud mother of two beautiful boys. IslandParent.ca
October/November 2020 23
DA D S PE A K
Structure & the Scheduled Kidlet
M
y kidlet likes a schedule. I’m ruled by time, with alarms for everything from taking out the recycling to not forgetting to eat ice cream as a reward for that thing I did six hours ago when I set the alarm. I’d prefer to be a bit more relaxed with my days’ happenings, but my brain’s always looking ahead to the next thing. It just HAS to know where I am on the timeline. Too much gaming, perhaps? Perhaps it’s hereditary, perhaps it’s anxiety, perhaps it’s . . . *gestures* ALL THIS…but my little prefers to know what’s ahead in her day-to-day. How does it go? “Nature vs nurture?” I promise I didn’t intentionally influence it. But it sure looks like my doing.
Of course, she’s not against a surprise on principle. But unexpected changes in schedule have led to frustration in the past because, as I see it, she’d already built out the day’s schedule in her brain. Thus, as we begin our mornings and afternoons and evenings, I lay out (and later, remind her of) what’s to come. Breakfast, getting dressed, school, grocery shopping, piano, walk, dinner, etc. Zelda or Animal Crossing or Pokémon during downtime. I try to give 10- and 5-minute warnings before we switcheroo from thing to thing. This seems the perfect comfort to the way her brain works. It’s taken a bit, but it feels like I’ve hit the sweet spot of preparation and communication. A calendar on the fridge is another useful tool. A week, or month, at a glance can help mentally prepare anyone for what’s ahead. I reckon that our situation is sliiiiiiiiightly more regimented than that of the average 11-year-old’s concern for time. I know there are many kids out there who are less interested in knowing what’s ahead (possibly to the frustration of their parents). I also know there’ll be some who require hourly updates or more (refer back to frustration). It’s not even about time proper. She doesn’t like wearing a watch. She doesn’t check clocks or ask for the time. Her timing points are the end of a chapter in a book, the end of a snack or meal, the end of an episode of a show. I used to wonder what I could do to “fix” this. But, with all the world’s problems, I’ve come to accept that this probably isn’t the thing I should be dedicating heaps of worry to. Is it so bad that she likes order? No. So long as she can function day-to-day without exploding, roughing out her days isn’t the worst anxiety she could manifest. Though, of course, a close eye is kept on it to see that it doesn’t spiral into other issues. I’ve come to realize that it’s probably half about time itself, and half about control. She’s not a daredevil (except at the pump track). She’s not a rollercoaster kid. She’s not a move fast and break things type. And that’s just fine. That’s why it’s wonderful that there is balance in the world. There are other kids who’ll eventually go bungee jumping or ride motorcycles or tame lions. Maybe mine will end up taking photos of their antics, or writing stories about them. Or maybe, she’ll click one day and jump right in with the daredevils. Perhaps she won’t be cautious forever. But, if she is, it’s not a detriment to her or the world. Webmeister Bud Ridout is the resident geek at Victoria radio stations The Zone @ 91-3 and 100.3 The Q! He’s also an avid photographer, root beer connoisseur, voice actor and Papa.
24 Island Parent Magazine
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5 Family-friendly Things to Do in the Comox Valley From barking sea lions, mountain biking and beachcombing to waterfalls, aviation displays and maybe an Air Force fly-by, there’s lots to do in Comox Valley. Here, from Traveling Islanders (travelingislanders.com) are some of the region’s top year-round family-friendly pursuits.
1. Fanny Bay & the Barking Sea Lions
What we saw was totally unexpected. We heard them before we saw them. I didn’t count them all, but there could have easily been about 50 sea lions in their colony. Sunbathing away on a raft, they burped, barked and let out all sorts of interesting sea lion noises. The kids thought it was so funny. We absolutely loved just gazing away watching and listening as the sea lions interacted with each other. We were fortunate enough to have a local oyster farmer offer us a closer look on his boat! Seeing these mammoth creatures up close and in the wild was surreal.
Nymph Falls isn’t a tall waterfall like Goldstream Niagara Falls outside of Victoria or Englishman Falls near Coombs Bay. Equally as majestic, the shallow river cascades off a series of exposed bedrock creating a picturesque view you could sit and watch for hours. The main feature of Nymph Falls is a man-made ladder waterfall. Back in the 1950s Ocean and Fisheries with BC Hydro blasted a section of the river bottom to help the Salmon spawn up river. In October and November, expect to see just that! We haven’t seen it ourselves, but we have heard it’s an awesome place to watch the salmon jump and fight their way upstream.
2. Beach Explorations & Hikes
You could spend weeks in the Comox Valley and still not see all the beautiful beaches and hiking trails the valley and nearby mountains have to offer. With so many great ones to choose from it’s hard to know where to point you first. I’ll share three beaches that we’ve explored and what makes them stand out… but we are only scratching the surface of what’s out there. Goose Spit (Rocky Beach): There isn’t a ton to do at this beach, but it’s a fun stroll along the water’s edge with a fantastic view. Our kids loved building drift wood forts. It’s a great place to do some paddle boarding or kayaking on a calm day. Seal Bay Nature Park (Rocky Beach): We didn’t see any seals, but there are a ton of forested hiking trails in the area. One of the trails is a gradual path leading all the way down to the ocean. You’ll want to time your hike for low tide so you can explore all the tide pools. Lots of ocean creatures and discoveries to be made here with or without your kids. If you’re lucky, you’ll see fighter jets from Comox Airforce fly over head like we did! Very cool. Tee Pee Park/Comox Air Force Beach (Sandy Beach): This is a beautiful Vancouver Island sandy beach. Whether it’s summer time swimming you are looking for or strolling barefooted along the sandy beach on a sunny March day, you’ll love this beach. We also enjoyed a family game of soccer and the boys couldn’t resist building another driftwood fort. There’s always something to do at this beach and the view is incredible. We did hear that on a hot summer day it’s packed, so don’t expect a secluded beach experience.
3. Nymph Falls Nature Park
Nymph Falls Nature Park is located on the Puntledge River and is locally known as Nymph Falls. The trail to the falls links to a larger trail system that goes up and down the forested river’s edge. IslandParent.ca
4. Courtenay Riverway Heritage Walk/Bike Path Mountain biking is a very popular activity in this region. In fact we met a dad with his two sons in the Old House Village Hotel where we were staying and they came to the area just to go mountain biking. Our kids aren’t quite ready for that activity yet, but we did enjoy a leisurely family bike ride around the Courtenay Riverway Walk and Bike path. Old Village Hotel and Spa is conveniently located right in front of the bike path, and they provide complimentary bikes so we couldn’t resist!
5. Comox Airforce Museum
This is a small donation-only museum but packed full with lots of interesting aviation history. The museum has a local focus of Canadian aviation dating back to 1917. It’s a kid friendly museum, so no worries about them breaking anything. My kids at the time were ages 9, 7 and 6. They lasted for about 30 minutes of focussed learning and then were done. But it was still a worthwhile visit, just don’t plan for a long trip if you have young kids. The Traveling Islanders know Vancouver Island and love sharing all their family travel secrets on their Vancouver Island travel blog. Jay and Gretta Kennedy, along with their three kids and their Golden Retriever, make up the Traveling Islander team. Visit them at travelingislanders.com. October/November 2020 25
OCT/NOVFAMILYCALENDAR For more information and calendar updates throughout the month visit IslandParent.ca
OCTOBER
6 TUESDAY RBCM@Home Entomology Edition 12-12:30pm online We are excited to continue our free weekly @ Home series through the fall. Royal BC Museum curator of entomology Dr. Joel Gibson will be joined by University of California, Berkeley graduate student Nina Pak to discuss entomology in the classroom, at the museum and on the beaches. Online through Zoom and Facebook Live. royalbcmuseum.bc.ca/rbcmhome
Exploring Indigenous Perspectives 10–11am at Mill Hill Regional Park Join a CRD First Nations Naturalist for a walk in the park and discover a human history spanning thousands of years. Learn the cultural significance of plants, animals and seasons and how First Nations deeply respect, appreciate and celebrate gifts from forests, rivers, lakes and the sea. Bring up to six members of your household for this personalized program. The cost is $7/person. Preregister at 250.478.3344 by October 3 as space is limited. BC Transit #53. All ages. crd.bc.ca/about/events/event/2020/10/06/ default-calendar/exploring-indigenousperspectives—morning-guided-walk—all-ages
8–25 THURSDAY–SUNDAY Ballet Victoria’s The Little Prince and New Works 7:30–9:30pm at Kirk Hall, 680 Courtney Street New creations explore humanity in all its forms. Quanz’s Wistful to Rachmaninov’s Vocalise show how love is eternal even as we grow apart. Polovtsian Dances to Borodin’s Prince Igor expresses the intensity and power of rival groups. Finally, follow the journey of The Little Prince as he travels through the universe and tells tales of his planet and the wonderful, mysterious and enlightening people he meets along the way. Capacity 30 audience members per show, wheelchair accessible Show Dates in Oct: 8th (7:30pm), 9th (7:30pm), 10th (7:30pm), 11th (2pm), 15th (7:30pm), 16th (7:30pm), 17th (7:30pm), 18th (2pm), 22nd (7:30pm), 23rd (7:30pm), 24th (7:30pm), 25th (2pm). Masks will be mandatory when social distancing cannot be maintained. balletvictoria.ca/shop/the-little-prince-tickets 250-380-6063 26 Island Parent Magazine
10 SATURDAY What a Bear Needs Self Guided Walk 11am–2pm at East Sooke Regional Park If you were a bear, what would you need to survive in life? Lumber along the trail and follow the clues on this self-guided walk to find out! Drop by between 11am and 2pm for this self-guided walk. Begin the walk at the kiosk by Aylard Farm parking lot off Becher Bay Road. All ages. crd.bc.ca/about/events/event/2020/10/10/ default-calendar/what-a-bear-needs--self-guided-walk---all-ages
13 TUESDAY Under the Surface 10–11:15am at Piper Lagoon Park, Nanaimo Did you know that there is a mysterious world living just beneath the surface of our oceans and streams? Come explore with us in search of these critters and learn about the life surrounding the shoreline. Parent participation class. 3 to 6 years. nanaimo.ca/recreation-parks/parks-recreationand-culture-community-recreation---fall-2020
17 SATURDAY Passport to Nature: Navigation in the Woods 10am–2pm at William Simmons Memorial Park, Sooke Join Sid and TLC to learn the basics of navigation in the woods. Technology has provided convenient tools to orient you in the woods but what happens when the battery dies? Learn how to plan a course on a map to get to a destination and compensate for unexpected arisings. The workshop will include theoretical knowledge, reading a compass and trying out the skills on a short hike. Equipment will be provided. Registration required. Everyone welcome. conservancy.bc.ca/get-involved/passportto-nature/
Nature Exploration Guided Walk 1–2pm at Devonian Regional Park Bring up to six members of your household and join a CRD Regional Parks naturalist on a personalized walk to connect to your local park. Through activities and demonstrations we’ll learn about creatures that call the park home and reveal their surprising relationships. You’re sure to see the
park in a new way after this guided walk. $7/person. Pre-register by October 14 at 250.478.3344 as space is limited. BC Transit #54 or #55. All ages. crd.bc.ca/about/events/event/2020/10/17/ default-calendar/nature-exploration— afternoon-guided-walk—all-ages
20 TUESDAY Trees & Leaves 10am–12pm at Bowen Park Upper Picnic Shelter Fall is a wonderful time to drink in the beauty of trees, especially those whose leaves change colour and drop to the ground. Join us for fall crafts and to learn about why trees have leaves and why they change colours in the fall. This is a parent participation class. 3 to 6 years. nanaimo.ca/docs/recreation-parks/recreationfacilities-and-schedules/fall2020_guide.pdf
23 FRIDAY Passport to Nature: Mushroom ID Walk 10am–12pm at Sidney Branch Scotia Bank, Sidney Join Kevin and Torrey on a hunt to find and identify mushrooms in the beautiful mature forests at Second Lake. Participants will learn how to ID the most common species, deadly species, the parts of the mushroom fruiting body, and discuss the role of fungi in forests. Registration required. conservancy.bc.ca/get-involved/passportto-nature/
24 SATURDAY Exploring Indigenous Perspectives Guided Walk 1–2pm at Francis/King Regional Park Join a CRD First Nations guide for a walk in the park and discover a human history spanning thousands of years. Learn about the cultural significance of plants, animals and the seasons and how First Nations deeply respect, appreciate and celebrate gifts from forests, rivers, lakes and the sea. Bring up to six members of your household for this personalized program. Wheelchair accessible. The cost for the program is a $7/person. Pre-register at 250.478.3344 by October 21 as space is limited. All ages. crd.bc.ca/about/events/event/2020/10/24/ default-calendar/exploring-indigenousperspectives—afternoon-guided-walk—all-ages
IslandParent.ca
25 SUNDAY Nature Exploration 1–2pm at Francis/King Regional Park Bring up to six members of your household and join a CRD Regional Parks naturalist on a personalized walk to connect to your local park. Through activities and demonstrations we’ll learn about creatures that call the park home and reveal their surprising relationships. You’re sure to see the park in a new way after this guided walk. Wheelchair accessible. The cost for the program is a $7/ person. Pre-register at 250.478.3344 by October 21 as space is limited. All ages. crd.bc.ca/about/events/event/2020/10/25/ default-calendar/nature-exploration— afternoon-guided-walk—all-ages
Virtual Storytime Songs, stories, fingerplay, puppets and more! Preschoolers (and their families) are invited to join online in the Storytime Corner Facebook Group for virtual storytime at 10:30 am every Monday and Friday morning. virl.bc.ca/event/virtual-storytime/all/
Code & Create
MARKETS Duncan Farmer’s Market Tuesdays, 9am–2pm at 200 Craig St All products are locally grown and produced. Plenty of fresh foods and artisan wares.
Island Roots Limited Physical Outdoor Market
Join the Raspberry Pi Foundation team as they code and create projects at home. Every Monday they share a theme that will inspire kids to have fun, solve problems, and express themselves creatively with technology. Code along with them or create something on your own. raspberrypi.org/at-home/
Wednesdays, 2–6pm next to Cliff McNab Arena, Nanaimo Fewer than normal vendors, with essential items only, will be well spaced to ensure no contact. No music, no onsite coffee or kids play area and no samples. Entry limited to ensure physical distancing. You are asked to make your purchases without touching products or vendors’ tables and leave promptly to make room for other shoppers. islandrootsmarket.com
Noteworthy Kids Sing
Farm Fresh Fridays
Thursdays, 4:15–5pm online Come learn about the magic of music and your voice! Each Thursday put on your Vancouver Island Symphony Choir T-Shirt, warm up your voice and sing some fun songs, learn different languages and sing with your friends at our Zoom Choir. Each week we will have a surprise guest musician who will show us how their instrument works. And guess what? If you live in the Nanaimo area, at Christmas you will sing together at an outdoor Christmas Concert (social distancing in place) with our VIS Back Row Brass Quintet! www.vancouverislandsymphony.com/ noteworthy-kids-music-club/
Fridays, 11am–3pm at 1701 Douglas St, Victoria Every Friday the market will be filled with locallygrown produce and fruits, fresh-cut local flowers, handcrafted soaps and prepared foods. facebook.com/FarmFreshFridaysYYJ
NOVEMBER
22 SUNDAY Wiggling Worms 10–11am at Bowen Park Lower Picnic Shelter Are worms really slimy? Have you ever wondered what a worm eats or which end is their head? Why do they come out in the rain? Come learn with us through games, crafts and stories. This is a parent participation class. 3 to 6 years. nanaimo.ca/docs/recreation-parks/recreationfacilities-and-schedules/fall2020_guide.pdf
ONGOING Mario Kart 8 SRC Championships Wednesdays 9am–6pm online Do you have what it takes to be the fastest Mario Kart racer around? Visit each week to race against other racers from 39 VIRL library branches. Join the tournament by selecting Online Play, picking Tournaments, an then click on Search by Code. Once there, you can enter the tournament code: 2295-4657-9499. virl.bc.ca
Maritime Museum Facebook Live Tour Tuesdays 11am–6pm online Join museum staff and visit different places in the museum and in Victoria to talk about Maritime topics. All tours available for free on Facebook Live, though donations are appreciated. mmbc.bc.ca/events/list/
Parent & Baby Chat Tues 0–4 mos; Wed 4–9 mos; Thurs 9–18 mos. Online Baby Groups, 1-2pm with Eva Bild. us02web.zoom.us/j/81003112640
IslandParent.ca
Sooke Country Market Saturdays, 10am–12pm at John Phillips Park Join your favourite vendors at our new location on Otter Point Road in John Philips Park, just below the Firehall. Parking in the municipal hall parking lot. Bus stop located just past the firehall. For those with mobility issues, parking will be designated on Otter Point Road beside the park. facebook.com/sookecountrymarket October/November 2020 27
K I DS ’ R E A DS
Birthdays & Babies
I
n a few days, my five-year-old will turn six. While we have never been the type of family to rent out a room in a rec center and host a big bash, the pandemic has still forced us to reconsider how we will celebrate this momentous occasion. How will we make the day feel special when we can’t invite any of his friends over?
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Luckily, I have a few paper friends to turn to for advice who are funny, fanciful, and serene. I’ve decided to share these wonderful books with you, just in case you find yourself looking for ways to make a certain day seem special. And, just in case it’s the actual birth day that you are looking forward too, these books have some ideas for that as well. Ten Rules of the Birthday Wish by Beth Ferry and Tom Lichtenheld (G. P. Putnam’s Sons, 2019) is a comedic howto book that will have you in stitches as you learn exactly how to make the all-important birthday wish. It covers all of the essential steps from when to celebrate no matter how long your life cycle is, how to choose an appropriate light source—for example, whales might like to use fluorescent jellyfish—and the proper technique to use to blow out all of the candles. It even has some helpful exceptions for camels and pufferfish. For ages 3 to 7. Another book that can help you celebrate is Happy Birthday from The Very Hungry Caterpillar (The World of Eric Carle, 2019). This book honours the reader, and reminds the birthday child how special they are to you on their birthday and every other day as well. It is illustrated in Eric Carle’s bold and bright signature style. For ages 3 to 7.
Perhaps you are not ready to celebrate a birthday yet, because the guest of honour has not actually arrived, and you are instead waiting to celebrate his or her birth day. If this is the case, you might enjoy Babymoon by Hayley Barrett and illustrated by Juana Marinez-Neal (Candlewick Press, 2019). The beautiful IslandParent.ca
island
illustrations in this book will draw you into the warm, serene home of a family celebrating the birth of their first child, and the accompanying poem about adjusting to life as new parents will melt your heart. However, while this book is beautifully written and wonderfully illustrated, and you will probably feel all warm and mushy as you read it to your first born, the book is written more for parents to enjoy than it is for children to cherish.
GRAND parent
Age Is Just a Number
S PR i N G 2020
Gone But Not Forgotten
If I had this book in the months after the birth of my first child, I would have read it to him over and over, just like I read Little You by Richard Van Camp because it is so lovely. But unlike Little You, Babymoon is not a board book, so I couldn’t let my kid touch it once he became interested in the pages. While the book is marketed for 2 to 5-year-olds, I would suggest 0 to 2 as long as you’re aware that the pages might tear. Another book about a new arrival that everyone can enjoy is A Piglet Named Mercy by Kate DiCamillo and illustrated by Chris Van Dusen (Candlewick Press, 2019). If you have older children, you may have heard about Mercy Watson, because there is a chapter book series about her and her adventures. However, this picture book shares the story of how Mercy came to live with Mr. and Mrs. Watson on Deckawoo Drive. For ages 3 to 7. Finally, if you are looking for some activities to do during the birthday party, I’ve learned that my children love to hide while I walk around and call out pitifully “Where’s Theo?” or whichever child I’m pretending to look for at that moment. IslandParent.ca
Where’s Baby? by Anne Hunter (Tundra, 2020) captures this game perfectly. The story follows Papa fox as he walks all around looking for Baby and finding everyone else. Younger kids will have lots of fun looking for Baby on every page, and you might find you spend a lot of time playing the game post story time, so be warned. For ages 2 to 5. I know that books won’t lessen the sting for your child if they cannot see their friends for their birthday, but I hope these books will help you find humour and warmth wherever you are as you struggle to make a special day feel special.
Helping kids deal with the death of a beloved grandparent
A Resource Publication for Active Grandparents Grand is targeted to active, vibrant seniors who are exploring the new adventure of being a Grandparent. This bi-annual publication includes tips for building great relationships with your grandchildren, travelling with them, common conflict resolution and places to go and see with these special family members. Every year it is estimated that over 160,000 active seniors will see Grand. It is available at over 250 locations across Vancouver Island and the Gulf Islands!
island
Christina Van Starkenburg is a freelance writer and mother of two. Despite all of the books that flow through the house for this column, her boys still have their favourites and she’s read them a million times. Christina finds it exciting every time something new catches their eye, and she loves to share those treasures with all of you.
GRAND parent
islandparent.ca October/November 2020 29
Check It Out T
hree things I love in life: books, free stuff and DIY community-building projects. When the global pandemic shut down both public gatherings and public libraries this spring, it seemed an ideal time to join the Little Free Library revolution. You know what I’m talking about: those cute little sidewalk book-bins that have been popping up in yards, driveways, parks and street corners all over Victoria lately. Started by Wisconsin’s Todd Bol back in 2009, the Little Free Library (LFL) movement has since swept the world, with over 100,000 registered LFLs in more than 100 countries. Victoria boasts more LFLs than any other Canadian city—over 350 and growing quickly—as well as an interactive map (victoriaplacemaking.ca/little-freelibraries/#librariesmap) showing locations and photos of them all, thanks to the Greater Victoria Placemaking Net-
30 Island Parent Magazine
work (victoriaplacemaking.ca). For a city full of readers, not only did the COVID shutdown transform the LFL network from a quirky hobby to a neighbourhood necessity, but it also afforded me the time to build and install my own library. Crafted out of a discarded bedside table and scrap hardware for a total cost of about $8 (for hinges), our library has since become a go-to destination, thanks to a snazzy paint job and a community of readers who have been picking up and dropping-off with abandon. But creating it was only part of the fun: I also decided to statistically track the first four months of our LFL’s shelf life. Between April 26 and August 16, we saw 661 books come and go, with fiction far outweighing nonfiction (535:126), paperbacks exceeding hardcovers (520:141), and works by women trumping those by men (430:204). Mysteries, children’s books, cookbooks, thrillers and literary
fiction have been most popular; least popular was a sports biography, which languished for 32 days before finally being checked out. Busy? You bet: our most active days have seen nearly 30 individual check-ins and check-outs. More surprising, though, have been the non-book items that get placed in our library, including—but certainly not limited to—reading glasses, road maps, drill bits, greeting cards, cake sprinkles, squirt guns, VHS tapes, music of all kinds (LPs, CDs, 45s, cassettes, DVDs) and even two loaves of bread. While I’ve loved having a free source of books—my reading list has never been so diverse!—it’s also been a great way to put my passion to work for the community good. From experiences like living in small-town B.C. to participating in the early years of Burning Man, my family have long been participants and creators of community-building projects ranging
IslandParent.ca
from participatory murals and telephonepole painting to cardboard castles and Halloween driveway installations; installing a LFL was simply the next logical step in engaging with people from the sidewalk up.
things I love “inThree life: books, free stuff and DIY communitybuilding projects. When the global pandemic shut down both public gatherings and public libraries this spring, it seemed an ideal time to join the Little Free Library revolution.
”
Having recently completed my second LFL (watch for a bright orange school bus coming soon to George Jay Elementary School), I’ve learned that you don’t need a lot of time or skill to build your own. True, some are built to be small-scale replicas of the houses in front of which they stand, while others offer architectural flourishes to amaze and delight; but in the hundred or so I’ve visited around Victoria over the past six months, I’ve seen just as many made out of old kitchen cabinets, wooden crates, newspaper boxes, steamer trunks and even a vintage radio cabinet. (But if even the thought of construction gives you splinters, you can also order a ready-toassemble option from the official Little Free Library organization.) As a journalist, writing instructor and admitted word-nerd, it’s hard to believe it took a global pandemic for me to finally embrace my inner librarian. Next time you’re walking along Fernwood Road in Victoria, be sure to drop by our Fernwood Re-Public Library: you just might find your new favourite book that you didn’t know you were missing. John Threlfall is a busy local writer and father of two teens. In addition to being the communications officer for UVic’s Faculty of Fine Arts, he also co-hosts the local arts podcast Check the Program. IslandParent.ca
We are looking for Caregivers in the Greater Victoria Area.
We are looking for Caregivers in the Greater Victoria Area. Contact Michael Washington, Resource Recruitment | 250.544.1400 |www.niltuo.ca
The Freya-Sophia Waldorf
Natural Childhood Store Books, Toys, Clothing ~ Art & Handwork Supplies
250-597-4763 ~ 3, 5380 Hwy. 1 ~ in the Sol-Centre, Duncan
Check facebook for updates and current hours during the COVID crisis. Blessings to every one. Extensive selection of beautiful and inspiring books; Organic wool clothing for babies, children and adults; Wooden toys, puzzles, games, silks, dolls, calendars, cards and prints; Art, painting, knitting, felting and handwork supplies. Committed to providing WaldorfInspired resources to parents, educators, carers, homeschoolers and students of life! We also carry a full line of Uriel Home Remedies & Biodynamic Preparations. Online orders and no-contact pickup: email freyasophiawaldorfstore@gmail.com
Contact Michael Washington, Resource Recruitment | 250.544.1400 |www.niltuo.ca
October/November 2020 31
PRESCHOOL&CHILDCAREDIRECTORY ESQUIMALT
SAANICH
Island Kids Academy Esquimalt.....250-381-2929 High quality child care (ages 1-5). Enriched Curriculum. Includes Music Classes and Character Development using the Virtues Project. Wait list being taken. Islandkids.ca.
Camosun College Child Care Services.......................................... 250-370-4880 Quality licensed facilities on both campuses providing children, newborn to 5 years, with rich early learning experiences in a learn through play environment. camosun.ca/childcare.
La Pré-Maternelle Appletree Preschool........................ 250-479-0292 French immersion preschool. Group child care programs. 30 months to school age. Christian centre. prematernelleappletree.com.
Carrot Seed Preschool...................250-658-2331 Where children can discover, imagine, construct and learn through play. Wondrous natural playground. carrotseedpreschool.com.
If you’d like to be listed in the Preschool & Child Care Directory, please email linda@islandparent.ca
METCHOSIN Metchosin Cooperative Preschool...................................... 250-478-9241 Play Explore Learn and Grow in beautiful rural Metchosin. Morning programs available for 3 and 4 year olds. Contact our ECEs at metchosinpreschool@gmail.com.
• Licensed programs, for children 3–5 years • Flexible part-time schedules • Supported spaces available • 2, 3 and 4 hour morning or afternoon classes Encouraging your child’s development and learning through play and exploration Fullobeans.ca 250-360-1148 E: fullobeans@snplace.org
OAK BAY
Island Montessori House........... 250-592-4411 Inclusive, integrated and nurturing Preschool and Before/After School Care programs. Lovely rural setting with a focus on nature and outdoor environmental activities. islandmontessori.com.
Oak Bay Preschool........................250-592-1922 Oak Bay Preschool is a co-op preschool, using a playbased curriculum with qualified ECE and ECEA. We use a balance of indoor and outdoor classrooms to enrich your child’s preschool experience. Learn more at oakbaypreschool.com. Recreation Oak Bay.......................250-370-7200 Offers full day Daycare and half day Preschool for children ages 3-5 years old. Before and after school care for Willows Elementary and afterschool care for Campus View Elementary is also offered. Please contact childcare@oakbay.ca or call for more information.
Child Care
Resource & Referral Funded by the Province of BC
Your community’s best source of child care information and resources. 32 Island Parent Magazine
Pre-School Junior Kindergarten PacificChristian.ca 250-479-4532 Educational Excellence to the Glory of God
Ready Set Grow Preschool............. 250-472-1530 Join our learning through play preschool located in Hillcrest Elem. Our caring ECEs offer an enriched Program for 3-4 hour, 2-5 days a week and help with kindergarten transition. heoscmanager@gmail.com. St. Joseph’s Early Learning Centre... 250-479-1237 A Christian childcare centre offering daycare and preschool programs for 3-5 year olds. Children learn through play-based and emergent curriculum in a warm and nurturing environment. St. Margaret’s School Jr. Kindergarten................................. 250-479-7171 Apply now for our Early Learning (JK and Kindergarten) Programs. Early learning at SMS is a curriculum-based program for 3 and 4 year olds. admissions@stmarg.ca. Wiseways Child Care Centre.......250-477-1312 Established, quality, licensed, Christian centre for 3-5 year olds. Experienced ECEs, cheerful spacious facilities, large playground. Subsidized fees welcome. Call for a tour. Wisewaysvictoria.com.
Looking for child care? Need help with the Affordable Child Care Benefit? Taking care of children? Need child care training? Call your local Child Care Resource & Referral for free referrals and resources. Victoria & Gulf Islands: 250-382-7000 or 1-800-750-1868 Sooke: 250-642-5152 West Shore: 250-217-7479 Cowichan Valley: 250-746-4135 local 231 PacificCare (Ladysmith north): 250-756-2022 or 1-888-480-2273
gov.bc.ca/ChildCareResourceReferralCentres IslandParent.ca
SIDNEY Sidney Preschool............................. 250-655-3333 We are a licensed co-operative preschool with a philosophy of learning through play! Four and six hour programs available for children ages 2.5-5. Celebrating 48 years! sidneypreschool.com.
VICTORIA
Victoria Montessori...................... 250-380-0534 Unique, innovative learning environment combining the best of Montessori and Learning Through Play. Open year round. 30mths–K. victoriamontessori.com.
VIEW ROYAL Island Kids Academy View Royal...250-727-2929 High quality child care (ages 1-5). Enriched Curriculum. Includes Music Classes and Character Development using the Virtues Project. Wait list being taken. Islandkids.ca.
v Comprehensive programs for Preschool through Grade 10 v Delivering academic excellence through music, dance, drama and visual arts v Outstanding educators, locations and facilities
JLC Victoria Japanese Preschool The only Japanese Immersion Preschool on the Island opens at Craigflower Schoolhouse. Offering the best environment for preschoolers to learn Japanese language and culture as natural as possible. jlcvictoria.com.
www.ArtsCalibre.ca 250.382.3533 Castleview Child Care................... 250-595-5355 Learning Through Play & Discovery. Licensed nonprofit, ECE staff. Since 1958. Morning or full-time care. castleviewchildcarecentre.com. Centennial Day Care..................... 250-386-6832 Exceptional childcare and education 35+ years. Nature inspired, play based program. NEW central, “green” building. centennialdaycare.ca. Christ Church Cathedral Childcare.......................................250-383-5132 ECE and specialist teachers provide an outstanding all day licensed program for 2.5–5 year olds at our Fairfield and NEW Gordon Head (Fall 2019) locations. cathedralschool.ca. The Sir James Douglas Playschool................................250-389-0500 Fun, creative and educational ECE program for 3-5 year olds to grow and develop life long skills. Come play and learn in our bright and modern centre in Fairfield. sjdoutofschoolclub.com.
Queen of Angels Early Learning Centre..................... 250-701-0433 Our Centre is a lively, happy place for 3-5 year olds where children are encouraged to be confident, independent learners in a nurturing and safe environment. Sunrise Waldorf School Preschool....250-743-7253 In a warm environment, this nature and play-based program enlivens and nurtures the growing child. sunrisewaldorfschool.org.
NANAIMO
Junior Kindergarten to Grade 12
Learn more today! 250-390-2201 AspengroveSchool.ca N A N A I M O ’ S J K–1 2 I N T E R N AT I O N A L B ACC A L AU R E AT E WO R L D S C H O O L
DUNCAN Duncan Christian School Early Learning Centre.....................250-746-3654 The first step in providing your child with everything they need to become a confident, capable learner in a Christ-centered, community focussed environment. International Montessori Academy of Canada......................... 250-737-1119 Elementary K–12. Offers an enriching environment for preschool children 2-4.9 years with potty training. Nurturing young minds, keeping the spirit free. intmontessori.ca. Queen Margaret’s School................ 250-746-4185 Early Childhood Education Program. Co-ed nurturing curriculum to develop the whole child. Healthy snacks and lunch provided. qms.bc.ca.
QUALICUM BEACH Little Star Children’s Centre.......... 250-752-4554 Little Gems Infant and Toddler Care..................................250-228-5437 Mother, Daughter owned and operated. Earth friendly preschool education inspired by nature. Infused with fun and creative daily yoga practices! Licensed group care. Enthusiastic ECE instructors. littlestardaycare.ca.
PORT ALBERNI John Paul II Catholic School...........250-723-0637 “Where children grow and learn through play.” We provide a program that will inspire development physically, socially, emotionally, cognitively, creatively and spiritually.
Nestled on 4 acres of lush west coast forest, our Award winning, Nature based program will not disappoint! While firmly embracing the Reggio-Emila (Italy) Philosophy our dedicated team of educators use the environment as the third teacher as we encourage your child throughout their day. Our purpose built facilities have been handmade using the trees from our forest. We have recently expanded to our new Spirit Bear Lodge located right next door! Programs for Infants/Toddlers/Pre-school Age.
lexieslittlebears.ca 250-590-3603
BC Award of Excellence in Childcare & Prime Minister’s Award of Excellence in Early Childhood Education.
IslandParent.ca
October/November 2020 33
COVID-19 Test for Children & Youth
Healthy Families, Happy Families
Child, Youth & Family Public Health South Island Health Units
Esquimalt Gulf Islands
250-519-5311 250-539-3099
Peninsula Saanich Saltspring Island Sooke Victoria West Shore
250-544-2400 250-519-5100 250-538-4880 250-519-3487 250-388-2200 250-519-3490
(toll-free number for office in Saanichton)
Central Island Health Units
Duncan Ladysmith Lake Cowichan Nanaimo Nanaimo Princess Royal Parksville/Qualicum Port Alberni Tofino
250-709-3050 250-755-3342 250-749-6878 250-755-3342 250-739-5845 250-947-8242 250-731-1315 250-725-4020
North Island Health Units
Campbell River Courtenay Kyuquot Health Ctr ‘Namgis Health Ctr Port Hardy
250-850-2110 250-331-8520 250-332-5289 250-974-5522 250-902-6071
islandhealth.ca/our-locations/ health-unit-locations
B.C.
offers two options for COVID-19 testing in children and youth. Here, from the B.C. Centre for Disease Control, is what you need to know if your child needs to be tested. When to take your child for a test. Parents and caregivers should assess their child daily for key symptoms of illness before sending them to school. Appendix C of the Public Health Guidance for K-12 Schools provides an example of a daily health check. If your child has one symptom that persists for more than 24 hours, a fever, or two or more symptoms from the list, they should be assessed to determine if they should seek testing for COVID-19. You can use the COVID-19 assessment tool (bc.thrive.health) to determine if your child should seek testing. Testing is available for anyone with cold, influenza or COVID-19-like symptoms. How to prepare for the test. COVID-19 testing in children and youth is done by swishing and gargling sterile salt water and spitting it into a tube, or by using a swab to collect a sample from their nose. Most school-aged children from kindergarten through to grade 12 who go to a COVID-19 collection centre (experience.arcgis.com) can do the mouth rinse and gargle sample. The nose swab is used for younger children or those who may not be able to follow the swish,
gargle and spit instructions. Either test will accurately detect if your child has COVID-19. Watch a video about what you and your child can expect during a COVID-19 test. Practice the swish, gargle and spit technique with water or salty water at home before going to the collection centre. Wait at least two hours between practicing and doing the test as practicing could affect test results. Ask your child not to swallow the water or talk when they practice. Your child should not eat, drink (even water), chew gum, brush teeth, vape or smoke for at least one hour before the mouth rinse and gargle test. This might affect the amount of virus that is in their mouth, which can affect the results of the test. Find a collection centre where your child can be tested. Use the collection centre finder or call 8-1-1 to find the nearest centre. When you go for the test. You and your child should both wear masks. Children under two years old do not need to wear a mask. Make sure to have your child’s date of birth and their Personal Health Number if they have one. Follow the instructions from the health care provider at the site.
Changes with BC Medical Services Plan premiums mean that families eligible for partial payment of some medical services and access to some income-based programs now must apply for Supplementary Benefits through the Government of BC. Applications can be done online and take approximately 15 minutes. Families who previously qualified for MSP Premium Assistance should not need to re-apply if taxes are completed yearly. It is advised to confirm coverage before proceeding with treatment to avoid paying out of pocket.
For more information, visit gov.bc.ca/gov/ content/health/health-drug-coverage/msp/ bc-residents/benefits/services-covered-bymsp/supplementary-benefits
34 Island Parent Magazine
IslandParent.ca
Self-isolate. Your child will need to self-isolate after their test. This means you should go directly home after their test. Your child should stay home from school and not see visitors. Learn more about self-isolating after a test. Your child can stop isolating and return to school if they test negative and their symptoms are gone—unless they have been asked by public health to continue to self-isolate. This might happen if your child has been exposed to someone with COVID-19. If your child tests positive, public health will provide instructions on when they can end isolation. You can expect to know your child’s results in about 48 hours. Accessing and understanding test results. These are some of the ways you can access test results: • Sign up for text message results after you bring your child to a COVID-19 collection centre. Visit the Test Results page and complete the form. bccdc.ca/healthinfo/diseases-conditions/covid-19/testing/ test-results • Contact the BCCDC COVID-19 negative results line at 1-833-707-2792 to IslandParent.ca
get results on your child’s behalf but wait at least 48 hours before calling to make sure the results are available. • My ehealth is a fast and secure method to receive test results for those 16 years or older. • For residents of Island Health, call 1-866-370-8355. If your child tests positive, you will be contacted by Public Health and provided instructions on what to do next. Your child’s test results could be: Negative: A negative result is considered negative for COVID-19 unless (1) public health requests follow up testing OR (2) symptoms worsen requiring an assessment and potentially repeat testing. Positive: If your child tests positive for COVID-19, your child will need to stay home for a minimum of 10 days from when their symptoms started. You will be contacted by public health for follow up. Indeterminate: Results do not provide a clear result for COVID-19 infection. You will be contacted by public health for follow up.
Sample invalid/rejected: Sample could not be tested (e.g. leaked sample, error in labelling/requisition). You will need to recollect another sample for testing. When to seek medical attention. If symptoms get worse or new symptoms develop, contact your health care provider or call 8-1-1. Take your child to your nearest hospital Emergency or call 911 if your child: • Is having difficulty breathing • Has blue lips or skin, or appears very pale • Is coughing excessively, particularly with a fever • Is vomiting excessively, especially if there is blood in the vomit Has diarrhea and vomiting and is not producing tears, and has not urinated for several hours Has a high fever, appears very sleepy, and has not improved with acetaminophen (Tylenol) or ibuprofen (Advil) Is under three months of age and has a fever of greater than 38 degrees C (100.4 degrees F). For more information visit bccdc.ca. October/November 2020 35
N ATU R E N OTES
Finding Rest During Unrest
A
s a parent, I do not get much time to myself. Like really to myself, when I can think through entire trains of thought, stare out the window until I decide to look away, or just sit and listen to the birds. But, as my daughter continues to grow and becomes more independent, these moments are returning to me—and just in the nick of time. You don’t need me to tell you how hard things have been of late, and so I know you can understand how amazing it was when I recently managed to steal myself away for some time in a hammock in the forest of Rathtrevor Provincial Park. For those of you who have not been there during the summer, it is a crazy busy time. Even during a pandemic, the sounds of laughing, crying, screaming children carry through the campground and bring thoughts of “Oh no! Is that my kid?” But somehow the moment I settled in and began to gaze 36 Island Parent Magazine
up at the canopy of trees, all other sounds faded away. It must have been a conscience effort, but it sincerely felt like my body and mind had been waiting since the birth of my child for this moment to relax; the mother in me was forced into the backseat of my mind. I heard the wind moving through the trees, the birds singing and—nothing else. Knowing this experience was fleeting and that at any point I could be interrupted and someone else’s emergency would automatically become my own, I fully immersed myself in the moment. I focused on my breathing and took deeper, calming breaths, noticing the sweet smells of the forest. A light, misty rain began to fall and, rather than choosing to think about how I didn’t want to get wet (and all of the possessions that I was sure my family had left lying around the campsite), I relaxed into the moment and felt the rain. I allowed my gaze to relax, which helped my mind to move to a more creative space. I stopped analyzing and began to daydream. IslandParent.ca
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while helping others to do the same. We have to, don’t we? With the convenience of screens always at my fingertips We owe it to future generations to address all that we have and so many important distractions all of the time, I had set in motion and need to make right. stopped giving myself the joy of thinking about—nothing. Finding perspective has come to me when gazing at the (250) 384-3267, stagesdance@shaw.ca,or visit us at www.stagesdance.com AndCall everything! stars or looking to the horizon over the endless ocean. It is Email: stagesdance@shaw.ca, I began to us dream about our human history, our ancestors important to feel small sometimes and understand that all or visit at and all that mine had lived through so that I could be in this that we have is the present moment. It’s easy to worry about www.stagesdance.com exact moment. Did they allow themselves to listen to the the future and live in my thoughts full of what-if and worstwind in the trees and if so, did it sound the same? I’m sure case scenarios. But on the rare occasion you get some time the taste of the rain has changed over hundreds of years due truly to yourself—and it will happen, I promise!—try to rest. to the differing dust in our air, but the feeling of wetness on Focus on the generations that have brought you here and our faces remains the same. those that you will be here in the future. Most of all, let your Depending on our surroundings, whether it be city, farm senses tap into the power of nature here and now. Let nature or forest, the smells would definitely be different than those heal you, connect with you and inspire you. Our amazing that I breathe now. But focusing on our collective breath planet is constantly readjusting, finding equilibrium and and understanding that this moment is fleeting and needs to bringing forth life through the cycles that sustain us. be cherished, could I be sharing these feelings with so many Follow her lead, feel her kinship and know that you are past and present? not alone. Smell the wind that fills your lungs, feel the rain I thought about ongoing adversity, as a parent and as a and know that you are a part of something larger than your woman, and how thankful I am that my maternal line was everyday worries. You have made it this far in life, now let strong and capable even during times of oppression and war. yourself enjoy the view. I truly believe that future generations will look back at us in the same way. Knowing that this pandemic will not be the end of sudden hardships that we will encounter and knowing Coral Forbes is a Program Naturalist at the Swan Lake Christmas Hill that we will, once again, do our best to survive and thrive Nature Sanctuary. IslandParent.ca
October/November 2020 37
CUTITOUT!
Hello Stress
W
hen we’re under stress, we tend to become cranky and irritable. Stress, often caused by too many demands and not enough “downtime,” is one of the major contributors to aggression or impulsive behaviour. Stress can come on with sudden unexpected events such as the loss of a loved one, the loss of a job, a marital conflict or a global pandemic! Stress can also come on slowly when we are stuck in a difficult situation for a long time. Stress is sneaky. It lies beneath the surface, often unnoticed because we are so preoccupied with whatever it is that is stressing us out.
to do your work. You feel guilty when your kids are spending too much time on screens. And how frustrating is it to constantly remind your kids about social distancing? All of these feelings make sense; the problem is feeling guilty about having them. When we feel guilty for feeling irritated, annoyed, and frustrated, we shove those feelings down. When that happens, we eventually lose it and then we feel guilty for losing it. To jump out of this cycle, pay attention to those feelings before they pile up.
Stress seems to wipe away all those excellent skills we have. We snap at our kids or make sarcastic remarks to our partner. We say things that we don’t really mean and then feel awful. When that happens, we try harder to be nice and then become indignant when being nice doesn’t work. “I asked you nicely, why don’t you just do it?” Perhaps coming to terms with the feelings that come up during this time can ease some of the tension. It is natural to feel irritated and annoyed by people you love when you are living under the same roof and possibly spending way too much time together. It makes sense that frustration levels run high when you are working from home and don’t have the time or privacy
You have three choices:
38 Island Parent Magazine
1. Speak up and say something. Describe your feelings and needs without throwing the blame ball. “I’m feeling overwhelmed, I need some time, space, help…” 2. Take action. What can you control? Sometimes we just have to do something like drop a task or ask for help. 3. Drop it wholeheartedly. Can you find peace with something that might be out of your control? Now, take a breath and give yourself some love. Allison Rees has two LIFE Seminars books available: Sidestepping the Power Struggle and The Parent Child Connection. See lifeseminars.com. IslandParent.ca
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