Island Parent: Teens

2015 30 Things to Do With Your Teens

...That Won’t Bore Them to Tears OR Put Your Life in Danger

Youth Health & Safety A Harm Reduction Approach

The Resource Publication for Parents with Teenagers

The Value of Volunteering How to Talk to Your Kids About Sex The truth About Social Media

Teen Resources

Discover

Your Spark

Montessori for the Adolescent

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Enrolment is limited. For more information or to arrange a tour, visit www.discoveryschool.ca, call Sherri Ko at 250-595-7765 or email principal@ discoveryschool.ca

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Re-imagining how we serve youth in Saanich!

Saanich Parks and Recreation is currently working on developing a Youth Development Strategy and 5 Year Plan. This document will guide the way we interact with youth in regards to our services, programs and facilities for the next five years.

Watch for opportunities to get involved in this planning process!

For more information go to Youth Development Strategy at teen.saanich.ca or contact youthstuff@saanich.ca

www.kidsinvictoria.com

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Contents 3

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The 411

Let Them Talk

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The Value of Volunteering

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Teen Resources

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10

E-Cigarettes & Flavoured Tobacco

The Truth About Social Media

18

Getting Inked

30 Things to Do With Your Teens

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14 20

Sexuality & Teens

Youth Health & Safety

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Island Parent Teens, published by Island Parent Group Enterprises Ltd., is an annual publication that honours and supports parents by providing information on resources and businesses for families, and a forum for the exchange of ideas and opinions.

Views expressed are not necessarily those of the publisher. No material herein may be reproduced without the permission of the Editor. Island Parent Teens is distributed free in selected areas.

Island Parent Teens

830–A Pembroke St, Victoria, BC V8T 1H9 Tel: 250-388-6905 Websites: islandparent.ca, kidsinvictoria.com

Get your High School Diploma Build-up your resume with Career Training On-line, Face-to-Face, or both!

Year-round registration Call today to customize your Education Plan

250-391-9002 101–814 Goldstream Ave, Victoria, BC 250-391-9002

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Publisher/Owner: Mark Warner Editor: Sue Fast Sales & Marketing: RaeLeigh Buchanan Publisher’s Assistant & Sales: Linda Frear Production: Eacrett Graphic Design Printed at Black Press, Victoria Cover printed at Hillside Printing, Victoria ISsN 0838-5505 On the Cover: Anja B (14) Cover photo by Ute Muller, Fotoart Photography, fotoartphotography.net Island Parent Teens 2015

Welcome to Island Parent Teens T his issue marks the official launch of Island Parent Teens—the annual resource publication for Vancouver Island parents of teens—filled with valuable information, insights, and resources, along with words of wisdom/frustration/elation and support.

In this issue, you’ll find articles dealing with topics that range from getting your teen to talk, the value of volunteering, and the danger of e-cigarettes, to the truth about social media, what to consider before “getting inked,” teen sexuality, and youth health and safety. There’s “The 411”—tips, facts, stats, and inspiration—along with Teen Resources listings, and the article “30 Things to Do With Your Teen (that won’t bore them to tears OR put your life in danger).

With this constantly connected Generation Z—a.k.a. the YouTube Generation—and amid the challenges of balancing technology use, fitting in, and growing up, it can be tough for parents of teens to find information and support that will help us in our job guiding our children toward adulthood. While there’s plenty of information for parents of young children, finding a source that’s relevant to parents of teens isn’t as easy. Island Parent Teens makes it so, giving parents of teenagers a place to share ideas and insights on topics near and dear.

With all of the challenges the teen years bring also come growth, joys, and surprise.

Teens aren’t just about texting and raging hormones. And despite the stereotype that

they’re tough to handle, teens now, some studies suggest, may actually be easier to raise today than in the past. According to the 2012 National Survey on Drug Use and Health, underage drinking seems to be on the decline. Kids are waiting longer to learn to drive than in the past, and they are busier than ever which, some might suggest, gives them less time to get into trouble! They’re also connected to/through/with technology now which, although it can be annoying at times and a mixed blessing, means we can often reach them more easily than we could in the past, making a missed curfew or a late night a little less stressful.

As parents of teens, part of our job is to find a way to help them navigate their quest for freedom and less adult control, while still finding ways to provide them with the support and guidance they often still need.

We hope that Island Parent Teens helps you in the job of guiding your teens into young adulthood. We welcome any comments or feedback at editor@islandparent. ca. We also welcome your ideas, thoughts, suggestions and stories for our upcoming annual Island Grandparent issue, on stands at the end of June.

EFFECTIVE APRIL 1, 2015 Enjoy smoke-free outdoor public spaces in your municipality.

• Parks • Public Squares • Playgrounds • Playing Fields As well as a 7 metre smoke-free buffer zone around: • Windows • Bus Stops • Air Intakes • Doorways For more information: www.crd.bc.ca or www.viha.ca/news Or contact: 250-360-1450 or CleanAirBylaw@viha.ca Clean Air Bylaw 3962

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411 The

Writes of Passage

…10 Books That Will Change Your Life (in no particular order): • Noughts and Crosses by Malorie Blackman (Random House) • A Streetcat Named Bob by James Bowen (Hodder) • The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky (Simon & Schuster) • The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon (Random House) • To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee (Random House) • Wonder by R. J. Palacio (Random House) • The Book Thief by Marcus Zusack (Random House) • The Fault in Our Stars by John Green (Puffin) • The Outsiders by S. E. Hinton (Penguin) • The Knife of Never Letting Go by Patrick Ness (Walker) For a list of 40 more titles, visit worldbookday.com/writes-of-passage

Shut It Off for Shut Eye

A recentstudy found teens who bury their faces for hours in electronic screens tend to suffer bad nights of sleep. “There are some aspects of electronic devices that may give an additional arousal,” said Mari Hysing, co-author and a psychologist at Uni Research Health in Norway told Time Magazine. “The [screen] light may impact sleep hormone production, and also the social communication aspect” may stir adolescents to keep chatting deep into the night.

Experts say ideally, the last hour before bed should be free of electronic devices and that use of any device in the hour before bedtime was linked to a heightened risk of taking longer than 60 minutes to get to sleep.

Some of the key findings of the study: • If a teen’s total daytime screen time surpassed four hours, that was associated with a 49 percent higher risk of taking longer than one hour to fall asleep.

• Total screen viewing that exceeded two hours after school was “strongly linked” to both a longer period of tossing and turning before dreams finally came—and with shorter, nightly sleep duration.

From raisingteensblog.com

Bullying

can be a tough topic to bring up with your kids, but it’s an important conversation to have if they are showing signs of being a victim or a bully. Bullying and aggression is often a cry for help. It’s important to be open to the possibility that your child could be in one of these roles. The most important thing you can do as a parent is to listen and not dismiss your child when they want to talk—they may only try once. To find out find some of the key warning signs to watch for, and for some tips on how to talk to your child and what you can do to help, visit erasebullying.ca/parents.

To download an abbreviation dictionary of today’s Internet slang, visit erasebullying.ca/assets/pdf/ abbreviation-dictionary.pdf

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“The razor-toothed piranhas of the genera Serrasalmus and Pygocentrus are the most ferocious freshwater fish in the world. In reality they seldom attack a human.”

That’s the sentence that 15-year-old Marcel Fernandes Filho, from Brazil, texted in 18.9 seconds to set the current world record for fastest texter.

“If you’re always trying to be normal, you will never know how amazing you can be.”

— Maya Angelou

Stand Up to Cyberbullying While all cyberbullying is hurtful, some may actually be illegal. When name-calling, insults and ridicule escalate to harassment, threats, and intimidation, a teen could face criminal charges.

Current criminal laws already apply to most forms of serious cyberbullying such as criminal harassment or uttering threats. However, with digital technology changing rapidly, and the behaviours that go along with it, laws will likely need to change as well.

To find out more about the laws as they apply to cyberbullying, visit getcybersafe.gc.ca If you suspect your child is being cyberbullied, it’s essential to treat it seriously without over-reacting. For your child to feel comfortable opening up to you about what is often a hurtful and shameful event, they need to know you won’t make it worse by getting angry or freaking out.

Take a systematic and calm approach.

Step #1: Talk with your child about cyberbullying.

Step #2: Report the cyberbullying to digital providers.

Step #3: Report the cyberbullying to your child’s school.

Step #4: Report the cyberbullying to law enforcement.

Step #5: Get outside help to deal with cyberbullying.

For more information on steps to follow if your child is being cyberbullied, visit www.getcybersafe.gc.ca/cnt/cbrbllng/prnts/chldbng-cbrblld-eng.aspx Island Parent Teens 2015

Triple ‘P’

Raising teenagers can be challenging but this task can be less stressful if parents don’t have to do it all on their own. Getting support in a Triple P Group Course can be reassuring as well as provide positive strategies to help you promote your teenager’s development.

In a Group Triple P course you’ll learn about: • Providing a home that guides and supports teenagers as they strive to become independent, well-adjusted young adults • Helping teens to become skilled at making good personal decisions • Negotiating rules, responsibilities and privileges • Staying calm when inevitable conflicts arise • Being realistic—every teen and every parent will make mistakes. Most mistakes are minor and parents learn as they go along • Taking care of yourself as a parent Groups are run by accredited Triple P practitioners. There are four 2-hour sessions (once per week), followed by three 15 to 30 minute telephone calls (once per week) to talk about your individual progress, then a final group session. For more information, visit triplepvip.ca/teengroups.htm

Youth Development Strategy

The Gordon Head Skate Park and the three Teen Activity Centres at Gordon Head Recreation Centre, G.R. Pearkes Recreation Centre and Saanich Commonwealth Place, as well as many successful programs, services and events, are just some of the ways Saanich Parks and Recreation has responded to the needs of the youth in our community. Since 1991, Saanich Parks and Recreation has had a focus on delivering programs and services for youth between the ages of 11–18.

In 2015, Saanich Parks and Recreation is creating a new Youth Development Strategy and 5 Year Plan. Through discussions with local youth, youth sports organizations and youth serving agencies, the process will identify the needs and priorities of youth. This information will play a pivotal role in assisting Saanich Parks and Recreation to set the direction of youth recreation services and parks planning within Saanich.

For information about the Youth Development Strategy, visit teen.saanich.ca or email Jason Jones at jason.jones@saanich.ca.

Disconnect Before You Drive

Top 5 Things Your Middle School Kid Wishes You Knew

1. Respect me. I’m my own person, not just your kid.

2. I still want to have fun with you, and feel like home is safe and happy. Smile at me.

3. I need to make some of my own choices, and maybe some of my own mistakes.

4. Sometimes I’m going to be moody and annoyed and frustrated.

You need to just let that happen (though you shouldn’t let me be rude to you; that’s weird and embarrassing).

5. Trust that I’ll do my work.

For the complete list of 15 Things Your Middle School Kid Wishes You Knew, visit huffingtonpost.com.

The Magic Wand Project The Magic Wand Project is a non-profit organization that is run by a team of dedicated volunteers. Started in 2001 by Elizabeth Surerus and a friend when they realized the increasing need for affordable graduation dresses in Victoria, Magic Wand has grown over the years and now outfits both young women and men.

To date, the program has helped over 450 male and female students attend their graduation ceremonies in style.

Magic Wand makes dreams come true by providing dresses, tuxedos and accessories for graduation. The Project hosts several “boutique weekends” where graduates can come and choose their outfits. The first Boutique Weekend is on March 14 and 15, 2015. Or to set up an appointment, email Elizabeth Surerus esurerus@telus.net, or Lesley Solunac at lesleybutterfield@hotmail.com. Magic Wand Project also welcomes help from the public and businesses on the lower Island in the form of fulfilling its wishlist, contributing skills, clothing, accessories and make-up, among other things. To find out more, visit themagicwandproject.ca

W

hile young people make up only 13 per cent of all licensed drivers, they account for approximately one quarter of all road-related injuries and fatalities, most of which are preventable, according to Parachute Canada (parachutecanada.org), a charitable organization dedicated to saving lives. Canadian teenagers between the ages of 16 and 19 remain at a higher risk of death per kilometre than all other age groups. Driver distraction is a factor in roughly 15 to 19 per cent of fatal collisions involving teen drivers. As if being a new, young driver isn’t enough, teens are closely connected to their smartphones and all the tempting distractions that come with them. Below are some helpful tips from TELUS and Young Drivers of Canada for staying safe while driving with a smartphone: 1. Out of sight, out of mind. Keep your phone out of your line of sight; keep it in your purse, in the glove box, or in the back seat to remove the temptation to check it.

2. Put it on silent. Make sure your phone is on silent with vibrate turned off so you don’t get distracted by incoming notifications.

Better yet, switch it off entirely! Your messages will all be there when you’ve safely reached your destination.

3. Pull over. If you absolutely must check your phone or take a call, pull over to a safe location like a parking lot or a side street.

4. Use the buddy system. If you’re travelling with passengers, have them hold your phone for you.

5. Parents, teach your kids. When parents learned to drive, smartphones didn’t exist. As parents, we need to get with the times, lead by example, and start teaching our teens that there’s never a good time to use a smartphone while driving.

6. Let your friends and family know you’re driving. Notify your friends and family before you get in the driver’s seat that you’ll be driving and unable to answer their calls or texts.

www.kidsinvictoria.com

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Allison Rees

g

t’s hard to negotiate with a teen when they don’t even like the sound of your voice.

Even your breathing can be annoying, so how on earth are you going to get to the brainstorming phase of resolving an issue?

When my daughter was 15, she announced to me that she wanted to go to a party where there would be drugs and alcohol and no adults. Gulp. After years of parenting her, I knew that this persistent young women wouldn’t go along with anything that 1) threatened her autonomy and 2) was about my fear and my needs. Actually, she was completely allergic to my needs and thought I was a paranoid freak.

Thanks to having just taught a conflict resolution workshop the night before, I blurted out, “What about this is important to you?” Meanwhile, my heart was pounding and I felt like saying, “Are you nuts? What makes you think I’d say yes to anything like that?” So, she told me about all the cool people that would be there and that she was excited to be invited. I knew I had to listen to her and do my best at holding up her needs because this really was important to her.

I believe that any time we discuss a prickly issue with our kids, we have to connect with their feelings and needs first. For one thing, connecting with them role models respectful communication and it also takes them out of feeling defensive. If they know you at least understand how they feel and why they feel that way, they might be interested in seeing the discussion through to the end.

That doesn’t mean that they stand and listen to you pontificate, lecture or moralize. It means that you briefly explain what your needs might be and how you feel.

I told my daughter that I was concerned about the situation and how it could get out of control. I let her know that her safety and well-being were important to me. Naturally, she rolled her eyes, but that I could ignore.

She most likely wanted to hear some form of protest or concern from me because then she’d know that her annoying mother cares for her.

We stood there staring at each other. I honestly couldn’t think clearly because it Island Parent Teens 2015

just seemed like this wasn’t going to end well until out of my mouth popped Barbara Coloroso’s great line, “Convince me.” Ahh, yes. She wanted this freedom, why did I have to do all the work? It was up to her to convince me that she was ready for this responsibility.

“If you can convince me that you have a plan to stay safe and that you can handle this, I’m willing to figure this out with you.”

So, she started coming up with some

Are you experiencing loss or transition within your family? Death of a loved one?

Divorce? Illness in the family? Moving?

We offer free education and loss support groups to youth ages 10–18. We also offer free grief education workshops to parents.

I believe that any time we discuss a prickly issue with our kids, we have to connect with their feelings and needs first. For one thing, connecting with them role models respectful communication and it also takes them out of feeling defensive. ideas. I asked, “What else?” Never be afraid to ask that question 10 or more times—it’s amazing what great ideas can be squeezed out of a person. This was brainstorming at its finest because my determined daughter was able to be the boss of herself, the one person she wouldn’t argue with and who made sense to her. We actually came up with a plan that I could live with although I still wished she just wouldn’t go.

I know parenting teens today can feel a little wishy-washy and it would be nice just to say “no” and have them respect our limits, but in reality, that method might not be that great after all. Don’t we want our kids to think for themselves? Did it work when our parents took all the control? How did you respond to that? I just got good at lying and climbing out the basement window. I didn’t want that for my kids, but it was hard, I had no solid proof that this was the right thing to do.

Looking back now I realize that this was one of the most important pieces to keeping my kids safe and helping them navigate through the toddler years of adulthood. I had to be their consultant, their coach, not the boss. This approach taught assertiveness and preserved a close relationship between us. It didn’t always feel right, but what does when you go through some of these typical challenges of raising teens?

Allison Rees has two books available, Sidestepping the Power Struggle and The Parent Child Connection. See lifeseminars.com. www.kidsinvictoria.com

For more information, contact Learning Through Loss at 250-413-3114 or info@learningthroughloss.org

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Tina Kelly

The Value of Volunteering

T

hink back over the last year and compile a list of all the community events, festivals, fairs, sporting events, nature centres, or cultural institutions you and your family enjoyed. Maybe your list is long or maybe it has a single entry but one thing is certain, you likely have volunteers to thank for it.

More and more, organizations are relying on donated time to make things happen and more and more, the “who” of volunteerism is changing.

Stereotypically, volunteerism was something you’d consider when your hair was

hopping on the volunteer bandwagon are diverse and plenty. An instructor of volunteer management once described volunteering as “unpaid work” and by this definition is it easy to understand that volunteering provides your child with work experience.

This experience can prove valuable when applying for scholarships and post secondary school, not to mention the boost it gives to job applications.

Does your child have a variety of interests they are considering as a career? Getting a chance to try out these interests in a volun-

grey and you needed to fill the retirement years. Times have changed and people of all ages are finding the time to support causes close their heart and to contribute to their community. A report released in 2010 stated 58 per cent of Canadians 15 to 24 years old reported participating in volunteer work.

The benefits volunteerism provide to the community and from an organizational stand point may seem simple and obvious, but the benefits your child can gain from

teer capacity may give them a clearer vision on their direction, as well as connect them with experts or mentors in the field. It may also help them determine that certain career fields are not right for them. Or maybe your child doesn’t have a particular interest or focus. Through volunteering and trying their hand at a variety of roles, they may just catch that spark that helps them choose a path.

Less measurable, but maybe more important, are the personal traits to be honed

Call: 250-388-7225 for information about our services and schedules Check out the website:

http://www.readsociety.bc.ca

8

Island Parent Teens 2015

through volunteering, including time management, understanding rules and structure outside of the home, a sense of responsibility and accomplishment, and the ability to consider others before themselves.

Socially, they will have the opportunity to work with people of various ages, cultures and other demographics, another life skill that is immeasurable.

Engaging in a volunteer role not only benefits your child and community now, it can instill the knowledge that they have the power to shape their community well into the future. A notable study revealed that “people who were involved in community activities in their childhood or adolescence have a greater tendency to become adults who are involved in more kinds of civic activities like formal and informal volunteering, political organizations, service clubs, community associations, and so on.” This bodes well for your kid’s kids to enjoy that same list of events you attended over the past year. We can probably all agree that volunteering is an all-around win-win for everyone involved.

Things to consider when looking for a volunteer role:

1. Be realistic about your child’s time commitment. Does a two-hour or four-hour shift fit their schedule? Can they offer one shift per week, one per month or simply one time? Due to the time and resources an organization invests in volunteer training, some require you to commit to a minimum period of time, for example, 6 months, or one year. If the objective is only to fulfill the minimum number of community hours required for graduation, let the organization know before starting.

2. What and when is the training provided?

Likely the training will not coincide with the shift they will be committing to; can they make it to the scheduled training sessions?

3. Is the organization open on weekends or open late enough to allow after-school shifts?

4. Is the location easily accessible? Can your child get themselves there on time by walking, biking or public transit? Or are you able to transport them for every shift?

5. Do you want to volunteer with your child? Some organizations don’t advertise accepting youth volunteers but will consider young applicants if a parent or guardian commits alongside them.

6. Regardless of the role, organizations usually require a volunteer completes a variety of paperwork. As a parent or guardian, be prepared to sign waivers and consent forms.

www.kidsinvictoria.com

Volunteer Opportunities With a little research, you can find a volunteer role to suit almost any interest—nature, history, sports, art, reading, teaching, etc. A few local opportunities are: Royal British Columbia Museum.

This award-winning museum is open 7 days a week and offers a large diversity of volunteer roles. Their Volunteer Services Manager works with an applicant to find the proper fit. royalbcmuseum.bc.ca Swan Lake Christmas Hill Nature Sanctuary. As with the RBCM, this nature centre has an assortment of opportunities available, some of which require parental involvement. swanlake.bc.ca Shaw Ocean Discovery Centre.

Sidney’s marine education centre has a minimum age requirement of 13. To work behind the scenes, applicants must be at least 16 years old. oceandiscovery.ca Greater Victoria Public Library.

Teens can volunteer as Reading Buddies—helping children in Grades 1-4 with their reading skills—or as Tech Buddies, teaching adults about computers, tablets and other gadgets. gvpl.ca Local Recreation Centres. Check for sport-related volunteer roles at your local recreation centre.

One-off or short-term events and festivals are a great way for youth to ease into volunteer involvement or gain a variety of experiences. Festivals, fundraisers, beach cleans, or marathons and 10K races are among the offerings. Upcoming events looking for volunteers are: Art Gallery of Greater Victoria. aggv.ca. April through August, the Gallery will host an interactive art installation—Free Play—and are looking for help from highschool students. The Gallery also recruits youth for the annual Paint-in in July.

For help in your search for a suitable volunteer position you can also connect with Volunteer Victoria (volunteervictoria.bc.ca).

Tina Kelly’s volunteerism began with the 1994 Commonwealth Games. Since then she has donated time to more than 15 organizations ranging from a bird sanctuary in Florida and a film festival in New Zealand to many local festivals, events and museums.

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For more teen programs check out the Activity Guide at westshorerecreation.ca

9

Teen Resources Dance/Drama

Kate Rubin Theatre & Drama Studio offers young people with a dramatic interest or passion, special courses and programs which run fall, winter, spring and summer. The studio is highly regarded in Victoria for running quality theatre programing for youth. There is something offered for all levels and each term, students will have an opportunity to perform their work for an audience at the end!

Groups are small for quality instruction. For more information, call 250-386-8593 or email katerubin@telus.net. katerubintheatre.com.

Spotlight Academy offers workshops for all ages at various locations on the Island.

Offering a foundation of skills for a career in Film, Television and a development program taught by industry professionals with experience. Twenty years of award-winning business excellence. A proven body of work from teachers and students who work alongside A listers.

Testimonial: “Jacqui is an amazing teacher and mentor. She is one of the most caring, supportive and professional people you will ever meet.” Cameron Bright, Twilight Saga Victoria Academy of Ballet (formerly Island Dance Studio) was established in 1990 by Christine Richardson FCSC- CICB, ARAD. Now under the ownership and direction of Bleiddyn Del Villar Bellis, FCSC- CICB, The Victoria Academy of Ballet offers specialized dance instruction for children ages 3 through to Professional level. Victoria Academy of Ballet is a registered Vocational Institution. The Post Secondary Diploma Program is registered with Private Career Training Institutions Agency of BC. 716 Johnson Street. 250-590-6752.

Distance Education

WestShore Centre for Learning and Training is part of School District #62, providing education and training opportunities for youth and adults on the WestShore and Sooke area. Open 12 months a year, we offer programming from morning to evening, striving to meet the diversity of needs required by our students. WestShore Centre’s Family of School’s offer a variety of supports and programs to help students and their families design a personalized educational pathway to graduation. westshorecentre.com. 250391-9002.

Family Fun

Games2u Victoria offers exciting one of a kind mobile entertainment. Choose from a 10

The High School at Vancouver Island University is a BC certified, independent school offering Grades 10, 11 and 12 to students from the greater Nanaimo area and

variety of activities: Human Hamster Balls, Bumper Balls, Video Game Theatre, Foam Party and more. You, the host, can choose your location and we’ll look after the rest from set up to take down. Whether you’re planning that milestone birthday, grad party, or looking to fund raise, we will entertain you and your guests, guaranteed. 250-661-2219. g2u.com.

Grief Support

Learning Through Loss We deliver grief education workshops and 8-week loss support programs to youth ages 10-18. We also provide education workshops to parents and other youth-serving professionals who would like to better understand and support youth through loss and change (i.e. death of a family member, divorce, moving, illness). Our programs are offered free to the community. For more information, please contact Learning Through Loss: 250-314-4113; info@learningthroughloss.org or learningthroughloss.org.

Independent Schools

Aspengrove School is Nanaimo’s JK-12 International Baccalaureate (IB) World School.

The IB diploma prepares students for success in university and beyond with a combination of challenging academics, small classes, a well-rounded program, inspiring teachers and supportive classmates. Aspengrove welcomes visitors to come and see if an independent school education is right for you and your family. Scholarships are available for outstanding students and bursaries for qualifying families.

Please call 250-390-2201 or visit aspengroveschool.ca for more information.

In many ways, Discovery School is like any other school. We are Ministry inspected and have bright cheerful classrooms where children study the BC core curriculum. What makes us unique is that we are dedicated entirely to helping students with learning disabilities. Here elementary, middle and high school students work at their own pace in small classes under the direction of skilled, experienced teachers. For more information, please visit discoveryschool.ca, or call 250-595-7765.

Pacific Christian School invites you to come and explore “Educational Excellence to the Glory of God” from preschool through Grade 12. We strive to nurture students in Christ-like living, critical thinking and joyful service to be faithful citizens in God’s world.

Call us for a tour today. 250-479-4532. PacificChristian.ca.

from around the world. The High School at VIU is uniquely situated on, and has access to all of the resources and amenities of the university campus at VIU. Dual credit and affordable tuition are just a few hallmarks of the independent school. 250-740-6317. viu. ca/highschool.

West-Mont Montessori’s Middle School helps students learn how to learn and trust their own ability to discover and think logically. Fostering curiosity and self-motivation, we challenge students to think for themselves, to think deeply, and to think about others.

West-Mont’s Montessori Middle School program ignites the spark in today’s adolescent.

Visit west-mont.ca, or better yet, come past our beautiful campus on Thursdays to see our program in action. 250-474-2626.

Learning Centres & Tutors Why do parents, teachers and students in Victoria choose Smart Tutor Referrals? It’s because of our approach. We have a greater impact on students when we guide them to understand through examples and teaching styles geared for them. We believe students become motivated to learn when they understand the context and extensions of what they’re learning. We teach less, guide more. How’s that for flexibility? Supporting Victoria’s families since 2002...Please call 250-544-1588 or visit SmartTutorReferrals. com to learn more.

Tutor Doctor provides one-on-one inhome tutoring for all ages and in all subjects.

Our tutors are subject experts, with BC teacher certification or degrees in their subject specialty, and training in our supplemental academic support programs Tutor Doctor 24/7 and TD Academic Game Plan. Tutor Doctor prides itself on creating a magical match with tutor selection made according to the unique learning style, personality and

Island Parent Teens 2015

academic needs of the student. Call today for your Free Consultation. 250-802-5256. vancouverislandtutors.com.

Parent Support

The Cridge Centre for the Family is a place where people can find hope and direction when they are the most vulnerable and in need…a community of caring individuals who believe there’s more to social services than providing programs…because love is the bottom line. 250-384-8058. cridge.org.

Party Planning

Victoria Bug Zoo Welcome to the amazing world of live tropical bugs. Discover over 40 species of many-legged critters. Knowledgeable tour guides provide a fun, safe, hands-on experience. Do not miss this unique adventure when in downtown Victoria. Party room available for rentals. 250-384-2847. victoriabugzoo.ca.

Recreation

Located on the Saanich Peninsula, Panorama Recreation offers innovative facilities and quality programs and services. Check out the aquatic complex, which boasts the tallest and longest indoor waterslide on southern Vancouver Island, to a fully equipped weight room, racquet centre and two skating arenas.

From the ever popular teen lounge to the teen swim, there is something for every pre-teen and teen to enjoy. Come live well and have fun! 250-656-7271. panoramarecreation.ca.

Westshore Motorcross Park offers dirt bike rentals and lessons for all ages. Learn to Ride programs range from $35 to $50 and include bike safety gear and lesson. Kids and teens are known to love this sport for its adrenaline pumping excitement. Groups, birthday packages, summer and spring camps.

Open year round. Tuesday-Friday 11am-8pm or dusk, Saturday and Sunday 10am-5pm.

2207 Millstream Road. 250-590-8088. westshoremx.com.

Retail

Dr. Joslin, Dr. Morin & Associates. For over 26 years we have provided comprehensive eye health and optical services to the growing West Shore and Sooke communities. Our team of Doctors of Optometry and Certified Staff work together to provide patients with an exceptional experience in a caring environment. We believe that preventative eye care is an important part of total health care, starting with an infant’s first eye examination at the age of six months. #105-814 Goldstream Ave. 250-474-4567.• www.kidsinvictoria.com

COMPREHENSIVE FAMILY DENTISTRY family centered practice extended hours evenings and weekends the latest equipment and caring staff request an appointment online

saanichdentalgroup.com 119–1591 McKenzie Ave, Victoria

250 477 7321

info@saanichdentalgroup.com

Victoria’s favourite dentists believe a healthy smile starts early. Free first visit for children under 5.

11

Clare Cronin & Carla Kane

Healthy Families, Happy Families

Child, Youth & Family Public Health South Island Health Units Esquimalt 250-519-5311 Gulf Islands 250-539-3099 (toll-free number for office in Saanichton)

Peninsula 250-544-2400 Saanich 250-519-5100 Saltspring Island 250-538-4880 Sooke 250-642-5464 Victoria 250-388-2200 West Shore 250-519-3490

Central Island Health Units Duncan 250-709-3050 Ladysmith 250-755-3342 Lake Cowichan 250-749-6878 Nanaimo 250-755-3342 Nanaimo Princess Royal 250-755-3342 Parksville/Qualicum 250-947-8242 Port Alberni 250-731-1315 Tofino 250-725-4020

North Island Health Units Campbell River 250-850-2110 Courtenay 250-331-8520 Kyuquot Health Ctr 250-332-5289 ‘Namgis Health Ctr 250-974-5522 Port Hardy 250-902-6071

www.viha.ca/prevention_services/

12

E-Cigarettes & Flavoured Tobacco Emerging Threats to Young People’s Health

T

he health community, health regulators and provincial governments are concerned about two emerging threats to the health of young people related to tobacco: • Electronic cigarettes • Flavoured tobacco products

Electronic Cigarettes (E-Cigarettes)

They are a popular “high tech” device and on sale at many convenience stores and stand alone e-cigarette retailers. They are also seen in Hollywood movies and in ads featuring popular celebrities. E-cigarettes are sometimes marketed as a safe alternative to smoking and the advertising aimed at enticing youth to become nicotine dependent. It may also serve as a gateway to tobacco use.

W hat are e-cigarettes?

They can look like pipes, pens, USB memory sticks or regular cigarettes, and are made up of a battery, cartridge and a heating element. E-cigarette liquid often has nicotine even though it is not legal to sell nicotine containing fluid in Canada. Labelling cannot be trusted as to presence or absence of nicotine in the so called e-juice. The fluid comes in many appealing flavours, such as chocolate, mint, strawberry, grape, and watermelon. This is another method attracting youth to the product.

The e-cigarettes emit a vapour, and the mist is inhaled into your lungs, much like a traditional cigarette.

So are they safe?

People who use them (or “vape”) are very excited about this product. Yet, there is a lot that we do not know about e-cigarettes. For instance, e-cigarettes: 3 Can send out unknown and possibly

harmful substances. Some of the ingredients may cause cancer.

3 Have nicotine to get you addicted.

3 Are not proven to be safe.

3 Have caused poisoning in children and pets and have caused fires.

3 Are not proven not help people to quit smoking.

3 Might lead you to actually take up smoking!

3 Are not approved by Health Canada to help you quit.

3 Are another way that Big Tobacco aims to hook you and make money.

3 Are bad for the environment and are a source of litter.

Island Health Tobacco Prevention does not support using electronic cigarettes: 7 As a way to quit smoking.

7 In any place where regular cigarettes are not allowed to be smoked.

Flavoured Tobacco

In Canada, many categories of tobacco products are heavily flavoured and are not prohibited by federal legislation, including cigarillos (weighing more than 1.4 grams), water pipe tobacco, chewing tobacco, snuff and menthol cigarettes. Chocolate, mint, cherry, peach, strawberry and candy flavours are just some of the options and are very appealing to youth. Around the time candy-flavoured chew/smokeless tobacco appeared in Canada in 2005, chew use began to increase, according to Physicians for a Smoke-free Canada, reversing a 17-year decline dating back to 1998. Fifteen to 19 year olds represent one quarter of all smokeless tobacco users, even though they are less than 7 per cent of the population.

Island Parent Teens 2015

The use of additives to improve flavour and odour is not new to the tobacco industry, however, the aggressive marketing tactics being used to attract youth into trying these products is unparalleled. The packaging and flavourings make tobacco products seem less threatening and harmful, and more fun and appealing, often mimicking make-up and candy packaging. As a result, young people who may never even try smoking cigarettes can be enticed by “taste-me” new flavours and “trial-friendly” packaging.

Why would the tobacco industry add flavours to their products?

Flavours are designed to: • Make the first smoking experience more pleasurable by improving the taste of the product and the sensations for smokers and “chewers” • Encourage experimentation by grabbing the interest of potential smokers and making them more likely to want to experiment with smoking or chewing • Make smoking easier by masking the irritation on airways, preventing airways from tightening and preventing the smoker from coughing (coughing is the body’s way of protecting lungs from inhaling harmful substances) • Make smoking trendy and dynamic, by including a novelty design feature that encourages experimentation (e.g. menthol flavoured cigarettes with a filter that contains a menthol capsule that, when crushed, releases a sudden surge of flavouring).

• Disguise the smell of second-hand smoke, and reduce concerns and complaints from non-smokers near smokers. These cigarettes use flavourings like vanilla to mask the scent, however the smoke is just as harmful.

Don’t Be Fooled by the Tobacco Industry The tobacco industry wants to lure youth into trying their e-cigarettes and flavoured tobacco products. They are masters of manipulation and only want replacements for the customers their products have already killed. Be smart and don’t get sucked in by these latest efforts to keep a dying business alive and profitable.

For more information, contact your Tobacco Prevention staff at: Campbell River/ Courtenay, phone 250850-2109 Nanaimo, phone 250-755-6285 Victoria, phone 250-519-3426 Clare Cronin, Senior Licensing Office and Carla Kane, Practice Consultant; Community Care Facilities Licensing/Tobacco Prevention & Control www.kidsinvictoria.com

Aspengrove School Nanaimo’s JK-12 International Baccelaureate World School

Considering options for your children’s education?

Learn More 250.390.2201 AspengroveSchool.ca 13

The Truth About Social Media

Camille McFarlane

T

he statistics are staggering. According to PewResearch Internet Project, 95 per cent of teens use the Internet and, of those, 81 per cent use social media. Fifty per cent of teens use social media more than once a day.

Eighty-seven per cent of teens text.

The average teen Facebook user has 300 “Friends.” Only 60 per cent of teen Facebook users keep their profile private. Sixteen per cent of teen social media users automatically include their location in their updates.

And that’s just Facebook. The good news about Facebook is that most parents are familiar with it. You probably even have an account. And quite possibly, you are friends with your children. The bad news is Facebook may be on its way out.

Teens are voicing displeasure with Facebook, evident by their increasing use of other social media sites. Some indicate they dislike the presence of adults on Facebook. For others, it’s the expectations around updating and sharing on their page. Trends indicate teens are moving away to other platforms such as Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, Vine, Secret, and Ask.fm.

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Island Parent Teens 2015

Essentially social media is any tool that enables the user to engage with other people by sharing messages, pictures, videos or any other digital content.

You might be wondering if social media is bad for your teen. The short answer is no. The long answer is, it could be. Similar to adults, teens use social media to connect with their friends. The difference being most teens don’t have the ability to go wherever they want whenever they want, but social

You might be wondering if social media is bad for your teen. The short answer is no. The long answer is, it could be. media enables this to happen, or at least lets them feel connected to their friends and not alone. Social media enables teens to share ideas, plan and coordinate activities, work on school projects, and update friends on what’s happening around them.

These online communication tools provide a certain of sense of security, at least in terms of social engagement. When used appropriately, social media is an amazing tool that has changed the communication landscape.

The frightening part comes in when teens place themselves in compromising situations without a) realizing they did, or b) understanding the ramifications of their digital activities.

Navigating social media with your children is definitely tricky. Teenagers seem to be naturally evasive with parents. They’re trying to figure out who they are and social media provides a space to do this.

What did Socrates, Einstein, Mozart and da Vinci have in common?

Answer: They all had tutors.

So what makes an app or platform social media?

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Professional, 1-on-1, in-home tutoring in Victoria since 2002.

We bring the Fun2U!

• Laser Tag • Foam Party • Video Game Theatre • Hamster Balls • Bumper Ball Soccer ‘Like’ us on Facebook – Games2u Victoria

Birthdays, Teen Lounge/parties, fundraising events for school groups, sports teams or Grad.

Let us entertain at your Grad party events this May/June!

Alicia 250-661-2219 games2uvictoria@gmail.com www.g2u.com

What can parents do?

1. Familiarize yourself with current social media sites. The best way to learn about social media is to listen to your teen.

Observe what they’re doing and casually ask what platforms they’re using. For some teens, it may be easier to ask how their friends like to communicate with them.

Remember not to make it an inquisition.

The key is to show curiosity without invading their space. It may help to share some of your knowledge about social media or how you use it.

www.kidsinvictoria.com

15

Come Ride With Us This Summer!

Dirt Bike Birthday Parties We supply everything: Bike • Gear • Riding Lesson for ages 6yrs to adults over 30 bikes to choose from

Westshore Motocross Park No experience necessary 2207 Millstream Rd, Langford

250 590 8088 westshoremx.com 2207 Millstream Road Victoria, BC V9B 0J7 Tel: 250.590.8088 Cel: 250.893.9547

Learn to Ride with Us! brought to you by SG POWER We offer a complete line of entry level dirt bikes, 50cc, 70cc, 90cc non clutch bikes and 80cc,110cc, 125cc 4 strokes with clutches. All safety gear is supplied, from boots to helmets and everything in between. This 1.5 hour Learn to Ride with Us course includes the basics of a motorcycle orientation including safety gear and safe riding habits, stop-n-go circle riding, escorted first laps on motocross track, and supervised solo riding sessions.

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16

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Here are some of the most popular social media tools being used by teens: • Facebook still has the most daily users.

In many ways, Facebook is the gateway to social media. It’s been around for 10 years and most digital users are familiar with it, however usage among teens dropped dramatically from 2012-2014.

• YouTube is the leader in video sharing.

According to Pew Internet Research 45 per cent of teens access it daily.

• Twitter is #140characters. It’s #howareyoutoday and #smallergroupsforteens. And #aplacetobefunny. Teens use Twitter differently than most adults. They share humorous anecdotes with friends, share daily updates and follow their favourite celeb.

• Instagram is the leading social media app for sharing pictures and videos among teens. Mobile devices allow teens to take pictures using funky lens filters and turn a mundane picture into something extraordinary. Pictures are immediately updated on an Instagram account and then teens can also share them with Twitter followers or on Facebook.

• Snapchat is a growing social media app where users can send videos, photos and texts to friends. What makes it different is that users can decide how long recipients view the message; anywhere from one to 10 seconds. With recent updates users can now have real time video conversations. The scary thing with Snapchat is that teens may send a picture or text thinking that it will disappear in a few seconds, only for someone to take a screenshot of it and then pass it on to others. Canadian Social Media expert Paul Davis recommends not using this site due to the possibility of bullying and child pornography. Visit snstips.com for more Social Media safety tips from Paul Davis.

• Whisper and Secret both allow for users to anonymously post messages, thoughts, and questions to a large group. Other unidentified people can then comment or “like” a post. The difference between the two is Whisper posts to everyone, whereas Secret uses contact information stored in your phone, thus posting to a smaller audience.

Although liberating to some teens, these apps may give a sense of freedom when in actuality they could still be vulnerable to identification and bullying.

Some other social media sites of note are Vine, a six-second video sharing tool; Tumblr a short-form blogging site; Kik, an instant messaging app; Tinder, a hook-up app for adults but with a small percentage

of teens using it; and Ask.fm where users can anonymously post questions and be asked questions. It is important to note social media is constantly changing with new start-ups regularly emerging.

All of these sites have their benefits and drawbacks, with almost all of them having been linked to cyber-bulling or child pornography at some point. However, I would suggest, along with numerous experts, that sites such as Snapchat, Whisper, Secret, Tinder and Ask.fm are more prone to negative outcomes for teens because they are more difficult to monitor and potentially make teens more vulnerable. If used appropriately, other previously mentioned sites provide a safer environment for teens to connect with peers. That being said, according to Pew Internet Research the majority of teens say they have had positive experiences online.

2. Set parent-child boundaries. This is a conversation to have with your teen. Ask your teen what they feel comfortable showing and sharing with you. Before friending them or joining their network, always ask first. If you are friends with your children, make sure to never violate their online space by posting to their wall or posting anything their other friends might see.

3. View privacy settings. For most social media sites, children under 13 cannot legally use it. If you’re debating about setting up a Facebook site for your ’tween, think about what it would be used for, how you could monitor it, and whether or not having Facebook is necessary. Keep in mind that it would be better to be part of their foray into social media than for them to hide it from you. When setting up accounts, make sure to first go through the privacy settings with your kids. Talk about privacy and what each setting means. If your teen already has an account, take the time to sit down with them and talk about their settings and why privacy is important. Teens may have unknowingly shared information on a public platform. For example, they may have set their Instagram account to private but then by sharing pictures on Twitter or Facebook, the image could go public if those settings aren’t private.

4. Discuss what’s appropriate to share. Think before you share. Ask, “Would you be comfortable with your grandma seeing this?” One day, they will be trying to get a job, win a scholarship, or get into a good school. Their name will be Googled, with their Twitter feeds, Facebook profiles, Instagram pictures and blogs being easily

Island Parent Teens 2015

accessed. It’s important teens understand the long-term ramifications of their actions.

Talk about a digital footprint, how even things they don’t think will be accessible to others, can be seen.

As well, set some guidelines about what is okay to share. Addresses, phone numbers, location, parents’ occupations and salaries, and private family issues generally are not acceptable to share. Remind them that if ever they are unsure about posting something to ask you.

5. Warn about scams, pedophiles, identity theft and house break-ins.

These possibilities reinforce the importance of not sharing phone numbers, addresses, locations, vacations, banking information, and email addresses.

6. Talk about bullying. Teens may be tired of this conversation, but it’s worth bringing up. It is also important to discuss what they would do if they witnessed or heard about cyber-bullying.

7. Talk about mental health. Sites like Secret and Ask.fm are gaining popularity because teens need a safe space to discuss how they are feeling and what’s going on with them. Provide opportunities and safe spaces to have these conversations with your teens.

8. Limit where, when and for how long. This is a challenge, but try to set boundaries around technology. If at all possible keep technology use to family rooms where teens will be less likely to find themselves in compromising social media situations.

Technology and teens are inseparable.

This generation has grown-up surrounded by technology and it is inherently part of their daily existence. Our job as parents is to make sure they are safe, ensure they understand the ramifications of their online actions, and encourage them to use technology in a positive way.

Camille McFarlane holds a Masters Degree in Educational Technology from the University of British Columbia. Previously a secondary teacher, she is now a stay-at-home mom.

References

pewinternet.org parenting.teens.about.com edudemic.com/teens-are-really-usingsocial-media snstips.com

WYLD SUMMER CAMPS 2015 Discovery Camp AGES 12-13, JULY 25 TO AUG 1, $1095 Backcountry Beginnings AGES 14-16, JULY 19-26, $1095 Nootka Adventure AGES 14-16, JULY 19-26, $1395

gowyld.ca 250.286.3122

Island Parent 4.75” x 3”

at

Welcome to the amazing world of insects and spiders.

Discover over 60 species of giant walkingsticks, alien-eyed praying mantis, huge horned beetles, hairy bird-eating tarantulas, glow-in-the-dark scorpions and Canada’s largest leaf-cutter ant farm. ALL LIVE, in a safe, friendly atmosphere. While in Victoria, be sure to crawl, fly or wriggle your way to this fascinating family adventure and great gift shop.

Open daily. Located in Downtown Victoria, one block north of the Empress Hotel.

Gift certificates available!

631 Courtney St

250-384-BUGS (2847)

www.victoriabugzoo.com

Horne Lake Caves

Get Your Teens Outdoors!

Wild Teen Adventures

• Age 13+ Vertical Cave Tour • Rock Rappel Sessions • Winter Wet & Wild Adventures • Leadership Training HORNELAKE.COM

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Backcountry Classic AGES 15-17, AUG 9-20, $1440 Gold Duke of Ed AGES 16-18, AUG 21-30, $840 Strathcona Survivor AGES 16-18, AUG 21-30, $1295

250-248-7829

OPEN YEAR ROUND 17

Inked Emily Collis

Getting

Photo: Emily Collis

…a 20-something’s thoughts on tattoos

O

ne of my closest friends is a young tattoo artist who has just started her own business; her colourful little shop has become a frequent spot for us to get together.

Somehow, this equates—in my parents’ minds—to my inevitable decision to cave in to peer pressure and get “inked.” My parents ought to know by now that I don’t care for needles and I don’t have any burning desire to be injected with permanent ink, but for some reason, the fear stays with them that one day I’ll come home with a fresh Chinese symbol on my arm or a half-naked fairy across my back. True, I may admire an expertlydone or artistically appealing tattoo on someone else, but when it comes to body art, I prefer mine to be removable. Even though I’ve had my share of temporary tattoos, I have no desire to get permanently inked, not because I find it unappealing—although the pain is certainly a deterrent—but because I would not be able to decide which image I would want and where I would want it. I have heard from patrons of my friend’s tattoo shop that “ink is addicting,” so it would be best for me not to start at all. I know I would be tempted to add more and more beautiful images to my body, and each addition would gradually increase my parents’ contempt.

18

Island Parent Teens 2015

When my mom and dad were teenagers, as far as I understand, tattoos were associated with gang members, bikers, and the general lowlifes of society. But from what I’ve observed, this stereotype has changed over the years. Today, tattoos are regarded—especially among teenagers and young adults—as “body art” rather than symbols of affiliation.

Tattoos have become body art much in the same way quality graffiti has become “street art.” Much of it is about perspective.

Modern tattoos may represent memorials as well as art. My high school art teacher, a kind and patient lady, decided to get a shimmering green dragonfly tattoo on her wrist to commemorate her recently deceased mother. The common view today is that tattoos do not—and should not—indicate character. Many people are starting to realize that tattoos, with their ever-increasing popularity, are not reserved for the roughand-tough, the unfriendly individuals of the world.

However, bias against tattoos still remains, especially, it seems, among my parents’ generation. It can still be difficult for a tattooed individual to find work in specific areas. My dad’s business has been strictly against tattoos for more than a decade and is only now starting to relax. The common fear is the reputation or public image that is frequently associated with tattooed employees. Recently, there have been campaigns to raise awareness of this negative stigma.

Take, for instance, the “Tattooed and Employed” t-shirts seen in shop windows. The “Tattooed and Employed” community sells these shirts to make a statement that people with “ink” are still capable individuals in the working world.

Over the years, tattoos have not only become more common, but have also been gradually more accepted by society as a whole.

There is something to be said about the artistic precision and use of colour in some good tattoos. Of course there are still tattoos out there that are clearly not supposed to be regarded as art—such as gang signs and names of former lovers crossed out on someone’s shoulder—but these are usually apparent on sight. Tattoos have become common and can now be found on many different types of people, not just the stereotypes.

Emily Collis is a third-year writing student at the University of Victoria. She has studied under published authors Carla Funk, Frances Backhouse and Lorna Jackson. She is currently studying screenwriting and fiction, but her passion is writing genre fiction. www.kidsinvictoria.com

Things to know: The law in British Columbia requires that teenagers under 18 acquire parental permission in order to get a tattoo and must have a parent or legal guardian present during the procedure. This law is specific to region, however, and is set by the local municipality, so it would be wise to consult a local tattoo studio first. If a tattoo artist were to ignore the rules and “ink” a minor, they could face a lawsuit and subsequent loss of credibility.

The basic procedure for getting a tattoo is this: the artist will turn the image chosen for the tattoo into basic lines that can be stenciled onto the body. After the skin is shaved and sterilized, the artist will carefully place the stencil and place sterile plastic guards on as many surfaces as he or she will come into contact with. All materials the tattoo artist will use for the procedure come from pre-sterilized packages which are disposed of after use. The artist will then set the size and depth of the tattoo needles, then he or she will start on the line art, following the stencil that has been transferred onto the skin. Many artists will place Vaseline on the tattoo area to prevent the ink from smearing on top of the skin. Paper towels and antibacterial soap are used to clean the skin of excess ink, then the artist will colour, shade, or fill in the tattoo if needed, using different needles for colours and shades. (Tattoos with colour or shade tend to take more time and thus cost more than a simple ‘line’ tattoo.) After the tattoo session is complete, the artist will clean the skin, apply Vaseline for preliminary protection and wrap the image in plastic wrap if it is to be touched by clothing afterwards. The artist will also issue instructions on how to care for the new tattoo until it is properly healed. From what I’ve observed, new tattoos will rise from the skin and appear quite red and sore, so avoiding contact with that area would be wise.

My friend who owns a tattoo shop uses ‘Eternal Ink’ from Eikon Device on her customers. It is water based, meant for skin, and made to last. Her rates are $100 per hour, however this is less than the typical charge on Vancouver Island. Most tattoo shops’ rates range from $150 to $200 per hour. EC

PARENTING PROGRAMS Life with your pre-teen or teen getting complicated?

If you feel unsure at times on how to support your teen or pre-teen and worry about their choices...

WE UNDERSTAND! We have programs and workshops that can help!

For more information please contact This group has been a lifesaver. I have never participated in a group and I think it has been so helpful and beneficial. The philosophy makes so much sense.

250.217.4929 or email jtownsend@bgcvic.org A full description of Parenting Programs can be found at: www.bgcvic.org

Our Parenting Programs have been developed by staff and parents throughout BC and are administered under the auspices of Boys and Girls Clubs of Canada - Pacific Region.

IP_Teens_ad_2015_draft1 13-Jan-15 1:28:45 PM

19

30

Things to Do TEENS With Your

…that won’t bore them to tears OR put your life in danger

1

Peruse Music Stores for Old Records and Reminisce.

4

Okay, you might not want to reminisce too much, but chances are both you and your teen(s) will have a blast searching through the long-forgotten-but-then-revived LPs. Seeing the price of these collectibles now will make you—and your kids—wish you’d hung on to your old Donny Osmond and Wang Chung records. Or not.

Practice Your Swing at a Driving Range. Not enough time for a full game? No problem. Improve your long ball drive, iron play, or wedge shots—oh, okay…just swing really hard—and keep your game up to par at one of the Island driving ranges. As Arnold Palmer says: “The more I practice, the luckier I get.” For a list of ranges, visit vancouver-island.travel. bc.ca/activities/golf/driving-ranges.

Embark on a Stand-Up Paddle Tour of the Inner Harbour.

Try Climbing. Take the “Taste Test” at Crag X, $30 for 2, and sample

2

Learn the basics of stand-up paddle-boarding in the Inner Harbour during a 3-hour introductory course at Ocean River Adventures (oceanriveradventures.com) that will teach you the Hawaiian cultural history of stand-up paddle-boarding, the differences between board and equipment styles, and how to manoeuvre your paddle-board using different strokes.

3

Join a Running Clinic Together and Enter a Race. Your

local community centre, along with various Frontrunners (frontrunners.ca) and Running Room (runningroom. com) stores offer Learn to Run programs that will have you running a 5km or 10km in no time. Well, in 10 to 12 weeks. At the weekly sessions, you’ll learn all you need to know about running in all kinds of weather, biomechanics, nutrition, goal setting, injury prevention, motivation, pacing and more. Classes usually start with a 20 to 30 minute group seminar followed by a group run.

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climbing in an indoor gym. There is no instruction during the Taste Test, but it is still just as much fun. Staff manage all your safety systems for the one-hour visit. After starting on some easier routes, you’ll get a chance to push your limits on the more advanced terrain. No experience is required.

No instruction in safety systems. cragx.ca

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Hang 10 in Tofino. As beautiful in summer as winter—with water temperatures that vary only between 1-2˚—Tofino is the perfect place to learn to surf. For a list of lessons, visit tofino-bc.com/surfing-surf-lessons.php

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Go Ziplining. If ziplining by daylight isn’t scary enough, try

the full-moon zip at Adrenaline in Sooke (adrenalinezip. com). Or in Nanaimo at WildPlay (wildplay.com), try two flights of 91 and 182 metres, spanning the entire length of the park.

Island Parent Teens 2015

Build Something Together. A go-

kart, a skimboard, a skateboard ramp, a chicken coup, Find plans for almost anything on YouTube.

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8

Get Matching Tattoos. Haha.

Okay not likely, but worth the laugh, watching your teen squirm at the thought. So, too, would be choosing a mutually-agreeable design. For ideas, google “Matching Tattoos.”

Go, go, Go go-karting. See if you

10

can keep up with your teen before tripping the remote shut-off switch. In Victoria, allfun.bc.ca/ go-karts; in Comox Valley, saratogaracing.ca.

11

Write a Blueprint for the Perfect Day and then turn it into a reality.

Or Go 50/50 and have your teen plan one half of the day while you plan the other half. Then surprise each other with your plans.

Explore a New Area Together—

12

even if it’s just a new neighbourhood. If you’re mobile, drive to another community on the Island and poke around. For an added activity, research your destination beforehand to determine some must-sees.

13

Recreate Family Photos. For

inspiration, visit then-and-nowphotos.tumblr.com. Or, if you have absentee family members, make a family collage or photo album instead. Too often, in this day of digital photographs, shots stay stuck on cellphones or in cameras and never make it into a photo album. Kids, whatever their ages, love looking at old family photos. Make them accessible and enlist their help in the process.

Go Out for Dinner Together to a place that serves a type of food that neither of you have tried before. Try Tibetan, maybe, or Caribbean, Moroccan or Creole.

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documentaries to blockbusters, IMAX fits all ages.

Red Barn Market. Better yet, hike to the top of Mt. Work first to work up an appetite then head to the West Saanich Road Red Barn (other locations include Vanalman, Mattick’s Farm, Latoria Walk and Oak Bay). Teen-appetite tested and approved.

16 26

Pretend to be Tourists. If you

17

missed Tourist in Your Own Home Town, don’t fret. Re-create a version of your own.

Rent Scooters. Two or one seat-

See a Psychic or Do a Tea Leaf Reading. Tea leaf readings at Silk

19

Road Tea in Victoria on Saturdays from noon-5pm. silkroadteastore.com

Climb a Mountain. Mt. Work, Mt. Arrowsmith, or Mt. Tolmie, match your teen’s interest level and endurance level with a suitable hill. Snacks and energy drinks work wonders, and might get you and your teen a kilometre or two further.

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Get Certified. CPR, Standard First Aid,

21

Bartending, Food Safe, or your White Sail certificate are only a few examples of certificates you could earn together. cc.viu.ca/ce, camosun.ca/ce, royalroads.ca

22

Face a Fear. From scuba diving, bungy jumping—okay, maybe not—and rock climbing to learning to knit or reading a collaborative haiku aloud at a poetry reading, doing something scary together will give you both the “Yes, we did it!” feeling and bring you closer together.

Shop for and Cook Dinner Together. Teach your teen a secret family recipe or signature dish.

Ride the Galloping Goose to Sooke Pot Holes and Take a Dip. For trail maps and information, visit gallopinggoosetrail.com

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Volunteer. For a list of opportuni-

ties, visit volunteervictoria.bc.ca, volunteernanaimo.ca or google “volunteer opportunities on Vancouver Island” for specific events.

Pull an All-Nighter. The fun kind,

not the kind you’d pull if you were cramming for exams.

Go Float at the Float House in Victoria. One way for a digital

27

detox is in a sensory deprivation and floatation tank where $150 will get you three introductory sessions. floathousevictoria.com

18 28

ers, scooters at Cycle BC Rentals in Victoria are 49cc and require the driver have a regular licence to ride. $16-$19/hour. victoria.cyclebc.ca

14 23

Create Your Own Sandwich at

www.kidsinvictoria.com

Visit the Royal BC Museum and then See an IMAX movie. From

Hang Out. Literally. At Free Spirit

Spheres, unique tree house accommodations for adults (16 years old and up), set among the tall trees of the west coast rainforest. freespiritspheres.com.

While you’re in the vicinity…

Go Underground…Caving at Horne Lake. Caves for both self-exploring and guided tour opportunities. hornelake.com

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Draft a 30 Things To Do List of Your Own—a family bucket list.

10 More Things to Do: 31. Go Technology-Free for 24 Hours.

32. Play Video Games. If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em. Go to an arcade. Or try laser tag. Or to kick it up a notch, paintball.

33. Go to a Thrift Store and shop.

34. Take a scenic boat ride on the Frances Barkley to points along Alberni Inlet and Barkley Sound.

35. Learn something new: to cook, at London Chef or sculpt at Opus Art Supplies.

36. Visit Strathcona Provincial Park and hike the Forbidden Plateau in the summer or ski Mount Washington in the winter.

37. Kayak the Broken Group of Islands in the Pacific Rim National Park Reserve. Reservations are now required but campsites are guaranteed.

38. Hike to Mystic Beach and cool off under the waterfalls.

39. Wash the Car—and let your teen take you for a spin.

40. Go tubing on Cowichan River cowichanriver.com

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Jennifer Gibson

Sexuality & Teens A

fter a decade of being a sexual health educator, my most favourite part of the classes I teach is still the anonymous questions. These questions not only provide the opportunity to make sure that youth get the information they need, but they also provide an insight like no other to the current realities of teenage sexuality. The questions are complex, funny, thoughtful, sometimes cheeky, and always candid—just like the youth brave enough to ask them.

Most of the questions fall into these four categories: 1. Am I normal?

2. What should I do?

3. Is this a bad idea?

4. Can I shock the teacher?

In the past three years, I have noticed a fifth category emerge: How can I get my parents to talk MORE about sexuality? Yes, you read that correctly. Youth really are asking me how to encourage their parents to talk more openly and honestly about sexuality!

This tells me that some adults are failing their youth and not talking about sexuality enough. In today’s hyper-sexualized world, youth need and deserve more from the adults in their life to help them understand their curiousities, answer their questions, and navigate the minefield of mixed messages safely.

For many of us, it isn’t always easy to talk about sexuality, often because we didn’t have very many opportunities to do so when we were groping (pardon the pun) our way through. Sexuality conversations—yes, I said conversations plural because long gone are the days when one awkward conversation is enough!—with youth can be some of the toughest conversations to have as a family, but they are among the most meaningful. My work with youth tells me they crave opportunities to talk realistically about sexuality.

Yes, even when they roll their eyes and try to tell us they know it all already. So if you’re not sure where to begin or what to add to your previous conversations with the youth in your life, here’s a good overview of what to include in the conversations that youth want, need, and deserve to have with the adults in their lives in 2015.

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Consent

The most current and an undeniably important topic in today’s sexuality conversations is consent. Although a basic concept, consent doesn’t seem as straightforward as it needs to be even to adults! No wonder youth need guidance. We must be explicit about how to freely and comfortably give and receive consent within relationships and highlight how the practice of consent is rooted in respect, responsibility, good communication skills, boundary setting, and self-knowledge. We must emphasize to youth that consent needs to be sober, enthusiastic, active, clear, and ongoing as sexual experiences develop for all partners in a positive and loving relationship. Share the knowledge about the legal parameters of consent (for information, visit justice. gc.ca/eng/rp-pr/other-autre/clp/faq.html for more info) and explain how consent is intended to make sexual experiences equal and more meaningful for all involved.

Sexual Decision Making

Understanding sexual readiness can be one of the most difficult parts of sexuality to truly understand because of the multitude of messages given from family, cultural and spiritual beliefs, friends, partners and society, many of which are mixed. The ability of adults to acknowledge the significance of this decision for youth without an agenda reminds youth of their abilities and maturity.

Yet, it is still important to remind youth that not all young people are sexually active.

This can be really hard for them to believe when nearly every song, movie and TV show portrays sex in the most obvious of ways.

According to the 2013 McCreary Centre Society’s BC Adolescent Health Survey, 81 per cent of the 30,000 youth participants stated they had never been sexually active.

When we let youth know that not everyone is sexually active, this helps to relieve the pressure often created with the current realities of youth and their FOMO (fear of missing out). It is equally important to let them also know that if they are going to consider the decision to have sex, they need to know how to make the most positive decision for themselves. I often use the HHGG (head,

heart, gut, groin) filter example for sexual decision making with the youth I work with.

This filters sexual decision making situations through the head (logic), heart (emotional), gut (instinct) and groin (sexual) responses and risks to evaluate the decision to have sex in the most physically and emotionally respectful way.

Pornography

I get asked by parents of youth who have had some experience with pornography how they can help their child “unsee” what they have been exposed to. While it is impossible to unsee these images, with good information and support, we can definitely help youth understand what they’ve seen without shame or judgement. According to the American Psychological Association, the reality is that 40 per cent of teens and preteens visit sexually explicit sites accidentally or deliberately each year. Rather than panicking and telling your teenager how to feel about these experiences, use a media literacy approach. Talk about the construction of the bodies and images, the limitations of what they’re seeing, ask them what they think is missing in what is being performed. Acknowledge your youth’s feelings and opinions and recognize that the potential negative power of such images can be challenged through honest conversation and contextualization within your values.

Please also use this opportunity to revisit the topic of sexting, privacy, and respect.

Diversity and Dynamics of Identity

As adults, we must recognize that as our youth physically and emotionally mature, it makes sense that exploring and developing the dynamics of identity is natural and healthy. The only way to respectfully understand a person’s identity, including their sexual orientation, gender identity and expression, is to provide safe and accepting space and support to process and explain their thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Youth tell me that they wish that adults wouldn’t make assumptions about orientation, gender, and expression, but rather ask open ended questions and allow opportunities to talk about, sort through and experience what they’re learning about themselves and the world around them.

Pleasure

Youth often ask me why conversations about sex and sexuality leave out discussions about pleasure. For some reason, especially in North America, I think there is concern Island Parent Teens 2015

that acknowledging sexuality as a positive and pleasurable part of life will encourage experimentation. This is absolutely not true. In fact, discussing the potential for sex to be a positive experience emphasizes autonomy, respect, and connection which supports healthy relationships and decision making. Conversations about sexuality and the possibilities of sex being physically and emotionally pleasurable need to be as much a part of what we talk about as reducing the emotional and physical risks of sex such as Sexually Transmitted Infections and unintended pregnancies.

Resources

Ensure you understand what current resources exist to support youth in their emotional and physical sexual wellness.

Know what’s available in your community in terms of sexual health and youth clinics, LGBTQA groups and services, sexual assault centres, youth talk and text support lines and ensure they know about these resources as well. Show youth where the services are located in their communities, offer to go with them for support and health care, and make sure they have easy and access to and know how to correctly use safer sex supplies such as barriers (condoms, dams, and gloves) and birth control if necessary. Recent global research confirms that youth whose parents educate them about sex safety are more likely to practice what they know when they have sex for the first time and continue to do so after that.

Are you still with me? Clearly these conversations are a long way from your grandparent’s talk about the birds and the bees! So while I can’t promise you that such conversations will never awkward, I can promise you that they will always be dynamic, energizing, and enlightening. Research tells us that youth who have access to current and accurate sexual health information have more positive sexual experiences in the short and long term. Honest and real conversations about sexuality help us all to be as sexually respectful, mature, and healthy as possible and every family deserves nothing less.

Jennifer Gibson, MA is known around Victoria as “The Sex Lady” by many of the 12,000 workshop participants she is lucky enough to learn from each year. She works as the coordinator of community education services with Island Sexual Health and believes that conversations about sexuality can be respectful, positive, and fun for all involved.

www.kidsinvictoria.com

5 Top Tips On...

How to be more approachable about sexuality from a youth perspective

W

hile writing this article, I wanted to be sure that the amazing youth I am lucky enough to work with had an opportunity to pass along their wisdom directly.

I asked several classes of youth what makes sexuality conversations easier for all involved. Following are the 5 top tips for adults on how to be more approachable about sexuality from a youth perspective: Be relaxed: Bring up sexuality like other topics you talk about in your family. Youth specifically said “just let the opportunity to talk about sex come up. Don’t make it a special conversation—that gets awkward!” Another youth adds, “When we tell you we aren’t into talking, we’re not and we won’t be if you force us.”

Be current: Update yourself on the most current issues in sexuality for youth. Find out about the issues facing today’s youth around sexuality issues (orientation, gender, identity, and physical wellness (birth control and safer sex). “Ask us about the issues going for us and our friends and then talk to us.”

Be honest: If youth are comfortable enough to ask about sexuality and, as an adult, you aren’t sure of the answer or what we’re talking about—ask more questions and offer to find out. “Don’t just pretend or tell us what you want us to know or what you think the best answer is.”

Be open but not that open: Be open about what you want youth to know and why you want think it’s important for them to know. “Don’t tell us anything about your own relationship—that’s just completely awkward for everyone!”

Be positive: Don’t talk about sexuality as a negative thing. “My mom is super open and I can ask her anything because she doesn’t lecture me and tell me just the scary stuff. It’s really awesome!”

BIG thanks to the awesome youth from Mt. Doug PE 9 girls class, Reynolds RY, and SMUS Planning classes for these tips. JG

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Lorna Mace

Youth Health & Safety A Harm Reduction Approach A

s parents and caregivers, we learn to keep our children healthy and safe from harm by teaching the basics: eating well, washing our hands after using the washroom, and remembering to look both ways before crossing the road. But as our children grow into young adults, and further develop their personalities and senses of self, health and safety becomes more complicated than common sense measures. Talking with youth about their personal health and safety can become a conversation of harm reduction.

The concept of “harm reduction” has evolved in our common language; it is not a new concept, but it’s a phrase that we see popping up more and more in both our medical and our political communities. Harm reduction began as a social policy to reduce the harm of higher-risk substance use, but it can equally be applied when navigating youth health and safety. According to Island Health, “Harm reduction is a practical approach to keeping people safe and reducing the rate of death, disease and injury associated with higher risk behaviours.”

Medical Officer for Vancouver Island Health Authority (now Island Health), Dr. Murray Fyfe, wrote in a 2009 report for VIHA stating that harm reduction practices are already entrenched in mainstream society, giving examples of helmets, seatbelts, and condoms.

Similarly, harm reduction as a practice in youth health and safety can be seen all around, from breathalysers at school dances and graduated licensing, to contraception and teaching what to do if a friend has had too much to drink.

One of the concepts of harm reduction is that speaking about and treating the harms associated with a high-risk behaviour does not encourage the behaviour.

Harm reduction involves acknowledging that a behaviour has potential for harm, looking at ways to reduce the harm, and understanding that the harmful behaviour may not change. A common example is that teaching a youth how to properly put on a condom is not encouraging intercourse, it is acknowledging that intercourse can have harmful consequences such as STIs and/or

24

unwanted pregnancy and that even if we prefer the youth to not have intercourse (and tell him or her so), they have decisionmaking power and control over their own bodies. The same can be said when talking about other safer sex practices, such as using a dental dam during oral sex, or using the emergency contraceptive pill when contraception is failed or absent.

Speaking honestly and non-judgementally with a youth about sex also keeps the dialogue open for healthy relationship conversations. Teaching youth about the differences between consensual and nonconsensual sex is another way of preventing physically and emotionally harmful experiences, such as sexual assault and intimate partner violence.

The concept of safer partying is one way to reduce the harm youth experience when choosing to experiment or partake in drugs and alcohol. Some parents and youth draw up contracts outlining what each person does if the youth calls from a location while under the influence. Often contracts will include that the parent will pick up the youth from anywhere, with no lectures or consequences until the morning. In turn, the youth promises to call the parent, as opposed to getting in a vehicle with an intoxicated driver or sleeping in an unsafe location.

In our community, Island Health offers the P.A.R.T.Y. (Prevent Alcohol and Risk Related Trauma in Youth) Program as a way of preventing injury, as survivors and community professionals teach youth about the harm associated with risky practices such as driving under the influence, speeding, and binge drinking. Aspects of P.A.R.T.Y. can involve listening to personal experiences,

…as our children grow into young adults, and further develop their personalities and senses of self, health and safety becomes more complicated than common sense measures. touring the emergency and operating rooms, and tasting charcoal (the substance used to pump a stomach in the case of alcohol or drug overdose).

The more educated we become about reducing the harm of riskier behaviours, the better we can teach, mentor, and model for our youth. In turn, the more informed and supported youth become, the more empowered and thoughtful they will be about the decisions they make for themselves and their bodies.

Lorna Mace is the outreach worker at Victoria Youth Clinic, located at 533 Yates Street. She works alongside a diverse youth-focused team who are dedicated to providing comprehensive health care in a safe, judgement-free environment.

Island Parent Teens 2015

Experience the precision of customized vision

Do you have an active teen who complains of their glasses getting in the way especially during sports, the arts or social occasions?

If so, contact lenses may be the appropriate vision choice for them. Some important facts to keep in mind when switching to contact lenses:

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Langford: #105–814 Goldstream Ave 250-474-4567 www.langfordoptometrists.com Sooke: #5–6726 West Coast Rd 250-642-4311 www.sookeoptometrists.com

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• Contact lenses are very safe, as long as they are used as directed. They can’t be broken or knocked off the face during sports and they provide unobstructed peripheral vision.

You can find out if your teen is a contact lens candidate by having a full eye exam with their Doctor of Optometry.

• Contact lenses do not replace glasses for all activities and should not be worn by teens more than approximately 12 hours per day.

• Beware of buying contact lenses online.

Please be advised: Just because you have a prescription (new or old) does not mean you will get the appropriate product for your unique ocular characteristics, unless you get it from your eye care professional.

• Contact lenses are medical devices that sit directly on your corneas and can cause problems if improperly fit or not correctly monitored.

Start your journey here The High School at Vancouver Island University is uniquely situated on, and has access to all of the resources and amenities of the university campus at VIU. The High School at Vancouver Island University accepts students in Grades 10-12 from the greater Nanaimo area and from around the world. Experience small class sizes, individual attention and opportunities for intercultural understanding. Starting your journey here allows qualified graduates direct admission to Vancouver Island University in order to continue the journey to post-secondary studies and beyond!

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