Island Parent Magazine December 2021 / January 2022

DEC 2021 / JAN 2022

FREE COPY

Vancouver Island’s Parenting Resource for 34 Years

HOLIDAY HAPPENINGS Winter Solstice Rituals

GIFT IDEAS

Reclaiming Meaning in the Season of Stuff

Active.

Creative.

Connected.

Recreation for all.

Opportunities for kids of all ages: Learn to Skate Tot Hockey Power Skating Swim Lessons Lifeguard Training

Plu opport s, un for adu ities of all aglts es too!

Piano Ballet Dungeons and Dragons Babysitter and Home Alone Classes Pro-D Day and Spring Break Camps

WINTER REGISTRATION OPENS DECEMBER 6: victoria.ca/recreation 250.361.0732

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December/January 2021/22 3

In Every Issue

TA B L E O F C O N T E N T S

5

Fast Forward SUE FAST

6

Need to Know

18

Moms’ POV KELLY MCQUILLAN

Features 10

20

Dadspeak DAVID LEACH

14

The Gift of Song

Holiday Gift Guide

24

Family Calendar

16

27

Winter Solstice Rituals

Businesses You Need to Know

30

What’s for Dinner

LINDSAY COULTER

EMILLIE PARRISH

32

Nature Notes LAUREN SHERWOOD

34

22

The Season of Giving LORA MCKAY

28

Creative Journaling

26

NICOLLE NATTRASS

Holiday Happenings

DEC 2021 / JAN 2022

On the Cover

FREE COPY

Vancouver Island’s Parenting Resource for 34 Years

HOLIDAY HAPPENINGS Winter Solstice Rituals

Jules H (4) Photo by Cindy Finley weewoollies.com

GIFT IDEAS

Reclaiming Meaning in the Season of Stuff

4 Island Parent Magazine

Preschool & Child Care Directory

36

Kids’ Reads CHRISTINE VAN STARKENBURG

38

Cut It Out! ALLISON REES

Jim Schneider Publisher publisher@islandparent.ca Sue Fast Editor editor@islandparent.ca Kristine Wickheim Account Manager kristine@islandparent.ca RaeLeigh Buchanan Account Manager raeleigh@islandparent.ca Island Parent Magazine, published by Island Parent Group Enterprises Ltd., is a bimonthly publication that honours and supports parents by providing information on resources and businesses for Vancouver Island families. Views expressed are not necessarily those of the publisher. No material herein may be reproduced without the permission of the publisher. Island Parent is distributed free in selected areas.

Annual mail subscriptions (7 issues) are available for $21 (GST included).

Canadian Publication Mail Product Sales Agreement 40051398. ISSN 0838-5505.

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518 Caselton Place, Victoria, BC V8Z 7Y5

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FA STF O RWA R D

‘Aim for Yes’ T

hese three words could change not only how you parent, but also how your kids approach life.

More than just a path of least resistance when you’re at the end of your rope, saying yes can encourage kids’ curiosity, creativity, independence and learning.

Sure there are the rules we all need to follow—be respectful of others, clean up after yourself, brush your teeth…and maybe even floss—but other than those, if kids want to give something a try, say yes.

Drink the bathwater? Why not?

Eat pancakes with ketchup instead of syrup? Go ahead, give it a try.

Paint a picture with nail polish? Of course!

Wear shorts in the snow? Brrr, but okay.

Saying yes doesn’t mean you’re a pushover. Just the opposite, writes Alice Boyes, PhD, in Psychology Today. If you reserve saying ‘no’ only for times when there is a good reason for it, kids come to understand that.

“If you say no because you can’t be bothered, the request is slightly inconvenient or messy, or it seems like a strange idea,” says Boyes, “then ‘no’ is more confusing. No could mean a variety of things.”

Our knee-jerk reaction can be to say no—just take a bath,

don’t drink it; just paint with the watercolours, not nail polish—but then if it’s not hurting anyone, who cares?

In a study on the characteristics of families with highly creative adolescents, researchers found that the parents of socalled ordinary children had an average of six rules, like specific schedules for homework and bedtime, writes Adam Grant in The New York Times. Parents of highly creative children had an average of fewer than one rule.

“Creativity may be hard to nurture, but it’s easy to thwart,” writes Grant. By limiting rules, we encourage our kids to think for themselves. And to develop their own ethical codes.

So with 2020 winding down, and 2021 gearing up, let’s aim for yes and encourage a creative and adventurous approach to the future.

Happy Holidays and all the best in the New Year!

– Sue Fast

Christ centered communities of learning…educating the “whole” child.

Island Catholic Schools

Registrations for 2022–23 being accepted.

Keeps Christ in Christmas!

St. John Paul II School, Port Alberni Queen of Angels School, Duncan St. Joseph’s School, Victoria St. Patrick’s School, Victoria St. Andrew’s Regional High School, Victoria IslandParent.ca

250-727-6893 www.cisdv.bc.ca December/January 2021/22 5

N E E DTO KN OW

Holidays at the House The holidays are a special time ofBritish year and all families have just that onefamilies wish: towho spend under Ronald McDonald House (RMH) Columbia and Yukon ensures must it travel far one roof with their loved ones.

At Ronald McDonald British and Yukon, we ensure that from home to seek life-saving medical treatmentHouse for a child have aColumbia place to celebrate the holidays and createmust lasting memories.

To dohome this, RMH depends on supportmedical from community groups donors. families who travel far from to seek life-saving treatment forand a child have a Here are a few ways that you can support RMH BC families this holiday season: place to celebrate the holidays and create lasting memories.

Donate Online: Give today and help keep a family together under one roof this holiday season.

AlthoughHoliday this year will look a welcomes little different from holiday seasons, the from House to Wish List: RMH donations of past new, unwrapped toys and gifts ourwill wishcontinue list. be an uplifting place for families who are away from home during these difficult times.

To do this, Virtual Wish List: Donate to gift a family with a special holiday moment or experience from our we depend on support from community groups and generous donors. Here are a few ways that virtual wish list. you can support RMHaBC families holiday season.

Sponsor Meal: Providethis the gift of sharing a meal together to families at the House.

Holiday Activity/Baking Kits: Put together holiday-themed activity or baking kits for families and help them to create a fun holiday memory together at the House.

DONATE For information visit rmhbc.ca/holiday-house.

Donate Online: Give today and help keep a family together uner one roof this holiday season.

Holiday Wish List: We welcome donations of new, unwrapped toys and gifts from our wish list.

Earth Day Animated Digital Virtual Wish List: Donate Cards to gift a family with a special holiday moment or experience from our virtual wish To helplist. reduce our environmental impact during the holiday season, Earth FAMILY MEALS Day Canada is offering digital greeting cards to download freely and to send to Sponsor a Meal: Provide the gift of sharing a meal together to families at the House. Contact friends, family, colleagues and business Robert partners. at ryoung@rmhbc.ca for more information.

By sending your wishes with these cards, you can reduce your paper consumption and at the same time Put help together holiday-themed activity or baking kits for families and Holiday Activity/Baking Kits: advance reforestation across Canada help them to create a fun holiday memory together at the House. through Earth Day Canada’s Tomorrow’s Forest tree planting program by FUNDRAISE making a voluntary donation. Download of the three virtual Homeand forpersonalize Dinner:one Support RMH BC while you celebrate with your family and friends. Make your greeting cards at earthday.ca.

Holiday dinner a Home for Dinner event and help our families celebrate together. Learn more at rmhbc.ca/home-for-dinner.

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Light the House: Sponsor one of 17 trees in the House and provide a family with the gift of decorating a tree together. You can also light up a Community Tree in your workplace, school or

Saanich E-bike Switch The District of Saanich is piloting a new program that offers a rebate to residents purchasing a new electrically assisted bicycle (e-bike).

Saanich is the first local government in BC to provide rebates for

A WHALE OF A TIME Save when you purchase a combo ticket to experience both the Orcas: Our Shared Future feature exhibition and the IMAX film Humpback Whales.

G E T T I C K E T S AT

rbcm.ca/tickets

The Kiddies Store

Thrifty Thursdays

Dedicated to providing Vancouver Island families with high-quality infant and toddler products at affordable prices for over 25 years

Playsuits: Boots: Made of durable natural rubWATERPROOF with ber, free of toxic chemicals. Flexible Bionic-finish technology, rubber, lined with 100% soft cotton.

BREATHABLE, ADJUSTABLE, Cotton lined insoles for spring and STAY-ON HOOD, highly fall, plus bonus micro fleece insoles.

REFLECTIVE (lined or unlined) Wide foot fit for growing little feet.

Winter Boots: rain, snow, slush and puddle conqueror. Lightweight, insulated middle layer plus soft inner fleece liner, Me-Put-On style boot.

Winter Knit Hats: Warm cute baby, toddler, kid’s fall winter earflap and beanie knit hats.

Now Offering Curb-Side Pickups Current Hours: Tues–Sat 10am–5pm 3045–C Douglas St. Victoria, BC

tjskids.com 250-386-2229

Finlayson St.

St.

IslandParent.ca

Jan & Jul Kids Outdoor Gear for Rain or Shine!

Douglas

e-bikes aimed at helping residents switch to active and electric mobility in an effort to reduce local greenhouse gas (GHG) emissions.

The incentive is easy to access and can be claimed by participants after the purchase or applied to the sale price of the e-bike at participating local bike stores. Applicants must be Saanich residents and can apply for one e-bike incentive per household. Incentives range from $350 to $1600 and residents can pre-register and find participating bike stores and additional program details at saanich.ca/ebike.

A different sale each week!

Larch St.

Entrance off Larch St.

T.J.’s

December/January 2021/22 7

The Woo-Hoo How-To For many Canadians, skiing and snowboarding is more than just a winter sport: it’s an iconic part of Canadian heritage that brings together friends and family during a time when our natural instinct calls us to hibernate. It’s a healthy way to chase the winter blues, but it has a funny way of hooking you for life. Find the Woo-Hoo How-to Guide and stay up-to-date with all of the latest news on skiing, snowboarding, and everything in between at goskiinggosnowboarding.ca.

SPRING Study Seeking Participants Investigators of a study that’s testing how many young British Columbians have been infected with SARS-CoV-2, the virus that causes COVID-19, are seeking 1,500 additional participants. Over the next month, researchers aim to recruit any children aged 0–9—particularly those ages 5–9—and young people aged 12–24 who have received at least one dose of a COVID-19 vaccine. The study is being conducted by the Vaccine Evaluation Center at BC Children’s Hospital and the University of British Columbia. To participate in the study, visit bcchr.ca/vec/participate.

2022 Polar Bear Swims Brrrrave the cold and start the New Year off on the right— albeit frozen!—foot with one of the many Island polar bear swims. Usual venues include: Chesterman Beach in Tofino (tourismtofino.com) Goose Spit and Saratoga Beach in the Comox Valley (comox.ca), Parksville Community Beach and Departure Bay Beach in Nanaimo and area (rdn.ca), Transfer Beach in Ladysmith (ladysmithcofc.com), Cowichan Bay and Maple Bay in the Cowichan Valley (maplebayrowingclub.ca), Tulista Park in Sidney and Banfield Park in Victoria (tourismvictoria.com), and at Whiffen Spit Park in Sooke (otterpointfire.bc.ca).

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Vancouver Island’s Parenting Resource for 33 Years

Family Support Classes & Programs

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Family Resource Guide New Parent Resources

Email info@islandparent.ca for more info

NeWParentResouRces DOULAS Victoria Doula Directory

Dandelion Midwifery

doulasofvictoria.ca

VIDA Doulas

V

709 Connaught Rd | 250-590-7770 V dandelionmidwifery.com/

250-661-2544 | vidadoulas.ca

Peninsula Best Babies

Duncan

D

Birthright Victoria

V

Saanich Neighbourhood Place Best Babies

V V Esquimalt

V

Sooke Family Resource Society Best Babies Program

W Gulf Islands

V birthrightvictoria.org

515–620 View St | 250-380-0305

Born Healthy

N Sooke Midwifery

D Cowichan Valley Craniosacral Maternity, Lactation & Pediatric Clinic W 250-748-5551

Community Midwifery Care

G

164 Kings Lane, Salt Spring | 250-537-2243

Cook Street Community Midwives 101–1005 Cook St | 250-386-4116 cookstmidwives.com

Cowichan Midwifery Group 164 Station St | 250-709-2040 cowichanmidwifery.ca

V

Victoria Midwifery Group

35 Cambridge St | 250-381-1977

West Coast Midwives

2823 Dysart Rd | 250-384-5940

D Western Communities Midwifery 287 Stewart Ave | 250-589-3417

2410 Malaview Dr | 250-655-5300

675 Canada Ave | 250-709-3050 | islandhealth.ca

250-360-1148 | saanichneighbourhoodplace.com

V

Camosun College

N 250-370-3550 | ce.camosun.ca

2050B Townsend Rd | 778-425-0780 sookemidwifery.com

200–1100 Island Hwy | 250-850-2110 islandhealth.ca

V

231 Regina Ave | 250-384-3211

V Mid-Island Midwifery

630 2nd Ave, Ladysmith | 250-245-3079

C

Aboriginal Prenatal Support

The Midwives Collective

2506 Maxey Rd, Nanaimo | 250-741-1294 or 350 Stewart Ave, Nanaimo | 250-716-1366

V Campbell River Public Health P

Access Midwifery & Family Care 208–2951 Tillicum Rd | 250-380-6329 accessmidwifery.ca

PUBLIC HEALTH (Island Health)

Esquimalt Neighbourhood House 250-385-2635 ext. 203

PRENATAL SERVICES

V

107–1120 Yates St | 250-590-7605

MIDWIVES

Family Fun & Entertainment

BEST BABIES PROGRAMS

Midwifery Care

V 547 Michigan St | 250-592-5407

Health & Wellness

250-642-5152, ext. 237 | sfrs.ca

cowichancraniosacral.com Specializing in emotional and physical wellbeing for V both mother and baby during pregnancy, birthing and breastfeeding. Newborn screening includes frenulum assessment V for suspected tongue-tie. Lactation support is multilayered to address emotional and physical health components, as well as treat disruptions to W your infant’s optimal suck, swallow and breathe physiology. This includes treatment of torticollis and faux tongue-ties, aka “posterior” and “submucosal.”

Crossroads Crisis Pregnancy Centre of Nanaimo

N

Gulf Islands Early Years

G

Mothering Touch Centre

V

Victoria Best Babies

1240 Gladstone Ave | 250-381-1552 fernwoodnrg.ca

Victoria Native Friendship Centre 250-384-3211 | vnfc.ca

WestShore Best Babies

250-217-6787 ext. 204 | bgcvic.org

530 Fraser St | 250-519-5311 | islandhealth.ca

G

250-539-3099 | islandhealth.ca

Parksville/Qualicum Health Unit

N

Peninsula

P

Port Alberni Health Unit

N

Saanich

V

Salt Spring Island

G

249 W. Hirst Ave | 250-947-8242 | islandhealth.ca 2170 Mt. Newton X Rd | 250-544-2400 islandhealth.ca 4201 6th Ave | 250-731-1316 | islandhealth.ca 3995 Quadra St | 250-519-5100 | islandhealth.ca 160 Fulford-Ganges Rd | 250-538-4880

Ladysmith Health Unit

N islandhealth.ca

Lake Cowichan Health Unit

Sooke D 6672 Wadams Way | 250-519-3487

V 224 High St | 250-755-3342 | islandhealth.ca 58 Cowichan Ave | 250-749-6878 V islandhealth.ca

Tofino & Ucluelet Public Health N & Coastal Family Place Nanaimo Health Unit 265 First St | 250-725-4020 | islandhealth.ca W 1665 Grant Ave | 250-755-3342 | islandhealth.ca Nanaimo Princess Royal Family Centre

W

islandhealth.ca

N

N Victoria

V

1947 Cook St | 250-388-2200 | islandhealth.ca

80 Chapel St | 250-739-5845 | islandhealth.ca

1717B Kerrisdale Rd | 250-714-2191

250-653-4465 | giearlyyears@shaw.ca 975 Fort St | 250-595-4905 | motheringtouch.ca Prenatal classes taught by certified childbirth educators. Pre- and post-natal yoga and fitness, breastfeeding education, parenting the newborn, baby groups.

Sooke Family Resource Society Prenatal Program

W

250-642-5152 | sfrs.ca

V Victoria & Area P Peninsula W Westshore G Gulf Islands

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D Duncan & Area N Nanaimo & Area c Courtenay/Comox

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Family Resource Guide 2021

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December/January 2021/22 9

Holiday Gift Guide Island Parent’s curated list of this year’s top toys guarantees hours of fun—from playtime to meal time to bedtime! Read on for gift ideas that will inspire kids to explore, be creative and have fun!

Mushie Cleo Pacifier Clip

Mushie pacifier clips are a favourite for parents and babies and come in a variety of unique, chic, and vintage-inspired colors that bring to mind a peaceful simplicity. mushie.com

Blockaroo Magnetic Foam Building Blocks

The easiest building system for young learners. Blocks never repel each other, creating endless possibilities for play.

The non-toxic magnetic blocks also rotate 360-degrees when connected and click when they turn, providing even more opportunities for interactive and creative fun. blockarootoys.com

MarvelBeads Water Beads

Teeny non-toxic beads that when put in water, swell up and turn into a squishy cool sensory exploration. motlantoys.com

Tommy Dinosaur Multicolour Nightlight

Say hello to Tommy, a cute, rechargeable and multicoloured dinosaur— the perfect nightlight buddy to comfort your little dreamer at bedtime. With a tap on Tommy’s head, Tommy lights up instantly. Tommy is portable and can go anywhere. globe-electric.com 10 Island Parent Magazine

IslandParent.ca

Radio Flyer Cyclone

Zoom, spin and grin with this unique arm-powered ride on. Zooming forward? Sure thing. Racing backward?

No problem. 360° spins? Absolutely! The Radio Flyer Cyclone can go every which way and deliver hours of entertainment and thrills. radioflyer.com

Play-Doh Compound Variety Pack

Get ready for a totally different Play-Doh experience.

These oozy Play-Doh compounds come in oddly satifsfying textures and irresistibly fun colours. With varieties like classic, Krackle and Super Cloud, kids can squeeze, stretch and squish as much as they wish. playdoh.hasbro.com

WWF Wild Socks

Give a gift they’ll go head over heels for.

Choose from 10 new wildlife designs or build your custom pack of three pairs for just $45.

All proceeds help support World Wildlife Fund. wwf.ca

3D Pen Set

The award-winning 3Doodler Start allows kids to bring their ideas to life in 3D. Plastic extrudes and hardens rapidly allowing kids to literally create anything they can think of in 3D. robotixeducation.ca

IslandParent.ca

Mindscope Twister Tracks

Build different tracks for these glow-inthe-dark cars that will go upside down in a 360-degree stunt loop. mindscopeproducts.com

December/January 2021/22 11

Instax Mini 9 Polaroid Camera (or Fujifilm Instax Mini Camera)

Snap instant photos and selfies with the Fujifilm Instax Mini 9 instant. With its built-in selfie mirror, this camera captures perfectly framed selfies without any guesswork.

Automatic flash and a brightness adjustment dial let you shoot bold, vibrant photos in different lighting conditions. fujifilm.com

Obuby Walkie Talkies

Designed for kids ages 3 to 12, the walkie-talkies are perfect for games, hiking and parties. They are designed for easy use, with an ergonomic design, simple push-to-talk operation and a clear call alert function.

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Victrola Eastwood Bluetooth Turntable

A classic re-vamped, this 3-speed Bluetooth turntable with built in speakers and dust cover is a blast from the past. victrola.com

K’nex Thrill Rides Web Weaver Building Set

GreEco Pop Up Soccer Goals

Pair of ultra-portable goals (pack of 2) for training and small-sided games. No assembly required, Pop-up design, just take out of carry bag and unfold to open. Once done, simply twist/fold and put back in the flat oval carry bag.

This is one web you’ll want to get caught in with the Web Weaver Roller Coaster Building Set! Use the included parts and pieces to send the air propelled coaster car through horizontal and vertical thrills. Once done building turn off the lights—this coaster glows in the dark. knex.com

Hatching Toothless Interactive Baby Dragon

Hatch your own baby Dragon: agitate baby Toothless enough until he’s ready to hatch. With light-up eyes, you can see through his egg shell, rock it to make him growl, tap to hear him tap back, clap and he’ll respond. Shake and tilt the egg until he starts to hatch.

PVO Mini Projector

This mini pocket LED projector is lightweight and portable, easy to hold. Mini Projector, PVO Portable Projector for cartoons, an outdoor movie projector, LED Pico Video Projector for home theatre movie projector with HDMI USB TV AV interfaces and remote control.

IslandParent.ca

December/January 2021/22 13

Moss St. The Gift of Song Market’s

26 th annual

HOLIDAY MARKET Est. 1992

Moss St. Farmers Market

There’s nothing like music to get you into the spirit of the season.

Here are five toe tappin’ finger snappin’ selections that’ll get you and your family singing along in no time!

Macaroni Birthday Time

Macaroni Birthday Time is bursting with songs that are punch-driven, lighthearted electric rock riffs mingled with silly themes and even sillier lyrics, (yes, they say “booger” on “My Body Is So Loud Today”). The 15-track LP is chock full of odes to the nagging responsibility of eating vegetables and having to take a bath. The tunes are punchy, fun, catchy and short. From just 30 seconds on some, to less than three minutes on others, Macaroni Birthday has created ditties that kids love, at just the right length to keep them entertained. thatericalper.com.

Esperanza

Sonia De Los Santos line-up is filled with 12 original songs about joy, community, togetherness, curiosity and celebration inspired by rhythms such as: son jarocho, salsa, bullerengue, cumbia, chotis, funk, as well as the North American folk traditions. Sonia was born with

a smile on her face (that’s what her mom says) and has been singing music for children and families for more than a decade.

Nominated for a Latin Grammy with her album ¡Alegría!, De Los Santos has been hailed by Billboard as “one of the Latin Children’s music artists you should know.” soniadelossantosmusic.com

Saturday and Sunday Dec 11+ 12, 10am to 4pm Over 70 vendors!

Cards, crafts, clothing, toys, jewelry, purses, pottery, glassworks, woodworks, bath products, preserves, chocolates, baked goods, hot food, winter veggies, treats, beer, wine, cider, and much, much more...

Sir James Douglas school & Fairfield Community Centre 1330 Fairfield Rd MossStreetMarket.com 14 Island Parent Magazine

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Big Shiny Spoons

Will Stroet of Will’s Jams, a JUNOnominated children’s musician, educator and dad, recently released his 11th album, Big Shiny Spoons features the rockin’ songs “Sushi Roll,” “Friendship Built on Rock” and “Les mathématiques.”

Indigenous storyteller and author Kung Jaadee shares a couple of Squamish stories followed by a few lively songs by new musical act Penny Pom Pom, who also sings backing vocals live and on the album. willsjams.com

Seconds

Ben Tatar and the Tatar Tots’ Seconds piles on the variety, with a swinging big band-flavored baking number, a ’70s Latin-style “Peanut Butter Rat Pack” concoction, a pizza song that dishes out a tribute to both Bob Marley and Michael Jackson, and plenty more. Whether it’s jiving to a jazzy New Orleans second line strut or grooving, Motown-style, to a cool funk broccoli song or perhaps savoring sweet nectarines on a riverboat cruise, Seconds will satisfy everyone. ben-tatar.squarespace.com

Sing Your Song

Sing Your Song revolves around the theme of being yourself. The primary message could be summed up in a line from the title song: “You may not sound like everybody else/But you sound just like yourself.” In other words, be yourself because you’re the only one who can sing the song that lives inside your heart.

Silly and sweet, Sing Your Song is for everyone from age zero to grandparent. harmonicapocket.com

sses l Cla o o S ch ls...

Pre - le ange e t im itt Day or the l f

STAGES Performing Arts School since 1980

Come Dance With Us

• Offering classes for Teens & Pre-Teens in Jazz, Ballet, Lyrical, Tap. Musical Theatre, Acrobatics & Hip Hop, in a non-competitive atmosphere.

• Not sure which class to take?

- Try a Drop-In: No hassle, No Obligation.

STAGES Performing Arts School #301 1551 Cedar Hill X Rd Call 250-384-3267 Email us at: stagesdance@shaw.ca Or visit our website: www.stagesdance.com IslandParent.ca

December/January 2021/22 15

Winter Solstice Rituals Nurture a magical relationship with our living world

D

oes bringing greenery indoors and gathering around a fire bring you joy as the days darken? These are ancient rituals from a time when our ancestors called back the sun.

Practices, ceremonies and reverence for light and our living world have always been in our bones. They are also yours to reclaim.

the Earth in relation to the sun. And we can still be bound by a magical relationship to bring light to the darkest day of the year.

“Ritual and ceremony save us from having to rely on concept to understand what we are doing or explain what we mean. When we perform a ceremony, we enact what we mean. Having performed our ritual, we can see what we are invoking in this very present moment. When we perform a heartfelt ceremony or ritual, we cannot distinguish the symbolism — the chant, the gesture, the shrine — from what it symbolizes. In fact, ritual is always how we join heaven and earth in our lives.” Acharya Daniel Hessey and Walker Blaine If you haven’t yet embraced a specific winter solstice ritual, it’s okay. How you mark December 21 may be like traditions already alive in your home and family.

Eight winter solstice rituals to try this year:

What is winter solstice?

Winter solstice marks the beginning of winter.

Today, we know the science behind the shortest day and longest night of the year. The Earth’s axis tilts away from the sun, leaving the northern hemisphere with less light (and heat) than the southern hemisphere. Before humans understood the Earth tilts and moves around the sun, many cultures performed special rituals and ceremonies to bring back the light. Some believed evil spirits made the sun go away.

They looked to their gods and ritual.

Winter solstice is full of mystery and wonder. It was a time to communicate with the elements and all living things, a day of the sun’s rebirth.

Why is ritual still important?

We know why the days grow shorter, changing position of

16 Island Parent Magazine

Evergreens. Bring the outside in. Plants surviving winter were symbols of life! Use evergreens to make wreaths to hang on doors and adorn mantles. Celts added mistletoes on altars.

Light. Bonfires signaled the rebirth of the sun. Some traditions sang and danced around them to drive the dark away.

Find ways to celebrate light. Make lanterns from ice or mason jars. Eat supper or host a games night by candlelight.

Make your own beeswax or soy wax candles. Watch my DIY YouTube video, “Make your own (non-toxic) candles” when I was David Suzuki’s Queen of Green™. In some traditions, candles (and golden apples) were placed on bare tree branches outside. Sound familiar?

Food. Some cultures had feasts while others fasted. Try an early wake up to greet the sunrise. Find a great vantage point to enjoy tea or hot chocolate. Bring a friend or another family.

Nature. Offer a gesture to give back to nature, like feeding the birds. Black oiled sunflower seeds (in the shell) attract chickadees, finches and nuthatches. Shelled peanuts are a Steller’s Jay favourite!

Walk. Find a local labyrinth or make one in the snow, with stones or lanterns. A spiral walk can be meditative, allowing you to go inward. Make it meaningful by setting an intention as you walk or name what you want to let go.

Make it kid-friendly. Invite kids to notice the warmth of the sun on their face or tune into how the sun lights up the world around them.

Lore. Research how your ancestors and culture celebrated.

Learn the lore. Don’t know where to start? Look up books, poems, and stories of The Deer Mother. At winter solstice, IslandParent.ca

this female reindeer drew the sleigh of the sun goddess. She flew through the darkest night with the life-giving light of the sun in her horns.

Stories. We are storied people. A friend shared a ritual of staying up weaving stories to keep each other company through the night—a way to celebrate, hold reverence and watch the light return in community. Early stories were kid-friendly, with children participating. After kid bedtime adults told deeper, more layered stories to air grief, pain, joy, and transformation. The evening buzzes with magic and shared company. The stories help us find belonging in the world and with each other.

How will you celebrate winter solstice?

Book Recommendations:

The Shortest Day: Celebrating the Winter Solstice by Wendy Pfeffer We Learn from the Sun by David Bouchard The Shortest Day by Susan Cooper

Lindsay Coulter is a dedicated mother of two, naturalist, community catalyst, soul activist, mentor, writer and horse lover. Find her @SaneAction on Instagram and Facebook.

She’s also the Director of Communications, Culture and Community of EPIC Learning Centre, a forest and nature school in Victoria, BC.

Happy Holidays from the educators at Lexie’s Little Bears Child Care!

“The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear!” – Elf

lexieslittlebears.ca

Waitlist: 250-590-3603 Programs for Infants/Toddlers/Pre-school Age.

BC Award of Excellence in Childcare & Prime Minister’s Award of Excellence in Early Childhood Education.

IslandParent.ca

December/January 2021/22 17

M O M ’ S P OV

Reclaiming Meaning in the Season of Stuff

T

he decorations started appearing during the lazy, hazy days of summer—glints of tinsel and multi-coloured lights, side-by-side with water toys and Halloween candy, a chilling reminder that “winter is coming,” and with it, The Holiday Season.

But isn’t it, “the most wonderful time of the year?”

Well, not for everyone. For many people it can be an incredibly stressful, triggering, and even grief-laden ordeal to be survived. Even those of us who don’t have any specific dark or sad association with The Holidays can find it anxietyprovoking to see our social schedules fill up and to-do lists grow. And, of course, this whole global pandemic situation isn’t helping stress levels!

Over the years, I’ve felt myself grow cynical in the face of rampant consumerism and the artificially inflated expectations of this time of year. I know I didn’t always feel this way, and while my son was younger and experiencing many “firsts,” I reconnected with a sense of magic and wonder through his eyes. But now he’s reached an age where he’s focused on toys, toys, toys. I feel like any kind of meaning is slipping away, chased

18 Island Parent Magazine

out by an avaricious Gimme Monster.

I can’t let that happen, so I’m digging deep this year, trying to reclaim some meaning (and hopefully, joy!) in the season that is fast-approaching, for myself as well as my son.

December and early January host important celebratory days for a number of religions. My family is not religiously affiliated, but there is still plenty to celebrate, and ways to help my son learn to embrace a sort of magic that brings even better gifts than Santa. This magic includes the tenacity of hope, new beginnings, connection with others, comfort during uncertain times, the pleasure of giving, and the nostalgic continuum of collective family memory.

Winter, as the literal (and often psychologically) darkest time of the year, actually heralds brighter days ahead—the return of the sun. Acknowledging the Winter Solstice always reminds me that, as dark as things might seem, better times will return, as surely as the sun rises and sets. Festooning our home with bright lights and colours both celebrates this and makes the dark days more bearable.

Several years ago we had a beach fire on the solstice. A lady walking by asked

us if we were letting go of things to prepare for the new year. We were, in fact, introducing my son to the culinary brilliance of S’mores, but it sounded like a great idea. We each wrote down several feelings, circumstances, or ideas that we wanted to leave behind and threw them into the flames. It felt wonderful! A solstice beach fire this year is definitely in the cards.

Another thing I genuinely look forward to is decorating our tree. Not the putting-up-the-lights-part (gak!), but the annual reunion with our lovingly stowedaway ornaments and their attached nostalgia. Sharing these memories with my son passes on family culture and history, and also presents an opportunity to remember loved ones who have passed on.

I eagerly anticipate the moment when he holds up one of the ornaments to which he has an attachment and says, “Mama, I remember….”

Decorating is one of many winter rituals in our home, undertaken in a similar way each year. There is something deliciously comforting about knowing what comes next, even for a short time. Other family rituals at this time include baking cookies, snowshoeing, reading certain

IslandParent.ca

Get your tickets at

imaxvictoria.com

stories, sharing yummy food, and watching favourite seasonal movies (Christmas Vacation, anyone?).

Engaging in these activities together triggers memories of happy times past and creates new memories for the ‘bank’ that we can draw from in years to come.

The holidays are known, and often disparaged, for their excess, especially at a time of year when those who struggle to get by are really struggling. I am so grateful for what we have and try to vocalize this often in front of my son. I want us to exercise the ethic of gratitude, and pair it with the spirit of giving.

I’m not sure exactly how it will look this year, but I think it’s important to include my son in the planning of how we can share some of our abundance. How we can give to others to help make their lives better in some way, even for a little while? I have a feeling that even considering this question together will be a powerful exercise, and I’m looking forward to hearing some of my son’s ideas.

In fact, after writing this, I find that I’m actually looking forward to the upcoming holiday season. After all, experiences are what we make of them.

Kelly McQuillan is a writer, musician, teacher and fledgling mother living in Comox, BC. Writer: kellymcquillanwriter. weebly.com; Music Teacher: kellymcquillan.com.

IslandParent.ca

December 4 to 31, 2021

Flush only the 3Ps: pee, poo and toilet paper.

December/January 2021/22 19

DA D S PE A K

High School Confidential

I

’m likely not the only parent to experience a Rip Van Winkle moment recently. You know the feeling. That strange sense during the first few months of the pandemic that time had slowed nearly to a stop. Then suddenly you wake up one morning, shake the cobwebs out of your COVID beard and realize the world around you has changed.

For our family, it was this September. After we returned from summer holidays up-Island, I looked up from my breakfast and noticed we now had two high-schoolers in the house—which explained all the empty cereal boxes scattered around the kitchen.

Yes, I know. I should have seen it coming. It’s the one pearl of wisdom that every experienced parent offers to firsttimers: “They grow up so fast.” Hospitals ought to print

20 Island Parent Magazine

that slogan onto birth certificates because it still seems to surprise new dads and moms.

It certainly tripped me up. During the day, my Facebook feed recirculates “memories” of our kids as chubby-cheeked toddlers in short pants and as sporty adolescents stumbling across a ball diamond or soccer pitch. Above my desk, I’ve pinned similar adolescent moments frozen on corkboard.

Then—boom!—the door swings open and in walks two tall and lanky teens to take over our backyard with a posse of friends, or to empty our fridge and flick through their phones and gossip and gab. Their worlds are busy and selfcontained and increasingly alien to my ears and eyes.

As a parent, we’re used to being the rock-solid centre of someone else’s world. And yet with every year, our gravi-

IslandParent.ca

tational pull weakens and our kids spin away further into orbits of their own. In a blink, it seems, I’ve gone from pedaling the kids to daycare in a double bike-trailer, to being the on-call Uber driver for endless after-school activities and birthday-party drop-offs, to watching as they now ride off on their own to school and sports and new jobs.

Part of my ambivalence at this new stage in their lives comes from my own checkered experience of high school.

The first day of grade nine, I remember sitting nervously in an auditorium, forced to watch an upbeat ‘80s film about how high school was going to be “the time of our lives”— and then spending the first few weeks fleeing in terror from a gang of grade-twelves who wanted to haze me with shaving cream or worse. Good times!

I also remember years of teeter-tottering between boredom and excitement, between the anxiety of due dates and peer pressure, and the joys of meeting new friends and overcoming new challenges. And I know, for better or worse, I didn’t tell my parents half of what I was going through. So why should I expect a flurry of teen confessions now?

Parents of high-schoolers must negotiate an ever-changing balance between Need to Know and Too Much Information.

Teens need the independence to solve their own problems and to advocate for themselves—and yet parents can’t help

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wondering what is going in their heads, in their lives, or even in the undergrowth of their messy bedrooms. (That last mystery only applies to one of our kids.)

As parents, we all survived (more or less) the rollercoaster of high school—minus the new pressures of social media, a climate crisis and a global pandemic. So we must have some wisdom to compensate for our aching backs? But finding the right time and the right way to impart these life lessons can be tricky.

For now, our high-schoolers seem all right. I don’t know if they’re having the “time of their lives” yet… whatever that might be. But they’ve found camaraderie with friends and inspiration from teachers and outlets for that restless teen spirit in the post-vax re-opening of after-school activities.

All they seem to need, at least for now, is some shaving cream—and only so they can start shaving. Come to think of it, so do I.

David Leach is a professor in the Department of Writing at the University of Victoria and author of Chasing Utopia.

December/January 2021/22 21

The Season of Giving

Healthy Families, Happy Families

Child, Youth & Family Public Health South Island Health Units

Esquimalt Gulf Islands

250-519-5311 250-539-3099

Peninsula Saanich Saltspring Island Sooke Victoria West Shore

250-544-2400 250-519-5100 250-538-4880 250-519-3487 250-388-2200 250-519-3490

T

he holiday season is upon us.

From October onward, the stores are packed with related merchandise, and we are bombarded with the message to buy more, more, more. Expressing love has become synonymous with gift giving.

A few years ago, I stopped to think about why I was blindly participating in this practice, and how I wanted to intentionally create our family experience at this time of year. I asked myself some questions. What kind of traditions do I

young teen, teen. See the sourced list and choose a gift for a registered local child and Santa’s elves will purchase the gift for you ($40 value). Food hampers are also an option. Download the printable Tree of Wishes ornament to display on your tree.

• Donations instead of gifts: Instead of giving gifts to the adults in our family, I choose to make donations to charities close to my heart. I ask them to do the same for me.

want to establish? What messages do I want share with my child? How do we want to share this time of year together?

For me, spending quality time together is very important. I want to fill my child with love and lasting memories. These are gifts she can carry with her forever and they don’t not end up in the landfill.

I also want her to learn the value of community and the importance giving over receiving.

To try to achieve these goals, we have established some traditions that we look forward to sharing at this time of year.

• Volunteering: There are many local not-for-profits looking for help at this time of year. In our family, we help a local chocolate maker prepare for a fundraiser to raise money for men’s mental health. For volunteer opportunities, visit: Oak Bay: oakbayvolunteers.wordpress. com Victoria: volunteervictoria.bc.ca Sooke: sookeregionvolunteers.org Cowichan Valley: volunteercowichan. bc.ca Nanaimo: volunteernanaimo.ca Campbell River: volunteercr.ca Southern Gulf Islands: sgicommunityresources.ca

(toll-free number for office in Saanichton)

Central Island Health Units

Duncan Ladysmith Lake Cowichan Nanaimo Nanaimo Princess Royal Parksville/Qualicum Port Alberni Tofino

250-709-3050 250-755-3342 250-749-6878 250-755-3342 250-739-5845 250-947-8242 250-731-1315 250-725-4020

North Island Health Units

Campbell River Courtenay Kyuquot Health Ctr ‘Namgis Health Ctr Port Hardy

250-850-2110 250-331-8520 250-332-5289 250-974-5522 250-902-6071

islandhealth.ca/our-locations/ health-unit-locations Changes with BC Medical Services Plan premiums mean that families eligible for partial payment of some medical services and access to some income-based programs now must apply for Supplementary Benefits through the Government of BC. Applications can be done online and take approximately 15 minutes.

Families who previously qualified for MSP Premium Assistance should not need to re-apply if taxes are completed yearly. It is advised to confirm coverage before proceeding with treatment to avoid paying out of pocket.

For more information, visit gov.bc.ca/gov/ content/health/health-drug-coverage/msp/ bc-residents/benefits/services-covered-bymsp/supplementary-benefits

22 Island Parent Magazine

Giving

• Santa’s Anonymous: Take part in this year’s Santa’s Virtual Tree of Wishes at cfaxsantas.com/collections. Choose a gift category for a child: infant, toddler, child,

Home Activities

• Baking: It is really fun to spend time together in the kitchen. There are IslandParent.ca

so many great sweet treats that you can make at this time of year and you can then gift the goodies to friends and family. We like to make shortbread and sugar cookies. Decorating them together is the best part!

• Host a Gingerbread Party: Invite a few of your child’s friends over to the house and decorate gingerbread houses.

If you do not want to make them yourself, there are simple pre-packaged options available at the grocery store.

• Trim the Tree: We love to choose our tree together and spend an afternoon decorating it while enjoying festive music and treats. My daughter really enjoys putting the star on top at the end.

Community Events

There are so many great events taking place across the Island and many of them are low cost or free. Here are a few events to look forward to this year: • Gingerbread Showcase: The Parkside Hotel & Spa presents the 13th annual Gingerbread Showcase in support of Habitat for Humanity. New features this year include contactless voting and donation options for in-person and on-

IslandParent.ca

line viewing options—vote and donate for your favourite in the People’s Choice Award. Daily until January 2, 2022. habitatvictoria.com.

• Festival of Trees: The Bay Centre in downtown Victoria presents the Festival of Trees in support of the BC Children’s Hospital. This free event will be held at the Bay Centre during opening hours.

Come down, show your holiday spirit and virtually vote for your favourite tree.

All in support of mental health and BC’s Kids. Daily until January 4, 2022. bcchf. ca.

• Christmas in Old Town: The Royal BC Museum will transform their old town into a Christmas wonderland with sights and sounds of Christmas long ago.

Visit the wood-cobbled streets lined with festive garlands and see the shops decked in seasonal finery. On until Dec 31. royalbcmuseum.bc.ca.

• Christmas at Butchart Gardens: Colourful lights, carollers, ice skating and festive fare are all on offer at the gardens.

It runs until January 6, 2022. I like to take my daughter after Christmas, as it is quieter, and it is nice to have something seasonal to look forward to after all of

the December fanfare is over. butchartgardens.com.

Celebrate Diversity:

• Learn and Grow: There are so many wonderful celebrations taking place during December in addition to Christmas.

In our family, we enjoy learning about how this special season is celebrated by cultures across the world. A few of them include: Hanukkah (Nov 28-Dec 6); Winter Solstice (Dec 21); St. Lucia Day (Dec 13); Kwanzaa (Dec 26-Jan 1, 2022); and Omisoka (Dec 31). You can do this by taking books out from the library, researching information online, and/or speaking with friends in your community who celebrate these special holidays.

Every year we add new traditions to our list. It is fun to try out new things, spend quality time together, and explore this beautiful season in our own special way. It is the greatest gift we can give to one another.

Lora McKay is a Victoria writer and mother to an amazing daughter and a rescue dog named Lucky. You can read more of her work at breath-by-breath.com.

December/January 2021/22 23

DEC/JANFAMILYCALENDAR V P W

For more information and calendar updates throughout the month visit IslandParent.ca

DECEMBER

5pm, starts at Esquimalt and Canteen Roads,

N ends at Esquimalt Plaza

This parade of lights includes community caroling to ring in the holidays. esquimaltlights.ca 5pm, downtown Sooke Bringing Santa Back! On a holiday float amid marching bands and Christmas music. sookelions.com

V

Noon–1:30pm, Vancouver Street (between Caledonia Ave & Green St) Using found items and repurposed art supplies, you’ll get your hands dirty in nature and learn some crafts that you can do with your friends and family. Try upcycling activities, complete nature walks and create fun, hands-on art projects. All ages. npna.ca

Magical Stories for Magical Kids

IEOA Truck Light Convoy + Food Drive V 9–10:30am, World Listening Party 5:45; starts at the Breakwater, Ogden Point Experience the joy of a rolling convoy as it winds through Victoria and out to Western Speedway in Langford, collecting food donations along the way. ieoa.ca

9am–3pm, Save-On-Foods, Tillicum Centre Donations benefit the Salvation Army and Mustard Seed. bctransit.com

16 SUNDAY

V

The Holiday Market features over 80 vendors offering locally-made crafts, cards, art, clothing, jewelry, household items, plus meat, fish, winter vegetables, coffee, apple cider and more. mossstreetmarket.com

19 SUNDAY

While working on her project on classical music, Corky accidentally combines ingredients of a magical musical spell making her tumble through time to meet some of the world’s most fascinating composers. victoriasymphony.ca

20 THURSDAY V

Selkirk Montessori Virtual Open House 6pm, Selkirk Montessori School Explore Selkirk’s offering of contemporary Montessori.

24 MONDAY & 25 TUESDAY V Evergreen Independent School Open House

3pm and 7:30pm, Royal Theatre Fans of Monty Python, Mr. Bean, and Dr. Seuss… grab your teacups! Off-Broadway comedians and London’s 3-time IMPRESARIO Award-Winners, James & Jamesy, bring their funny and inventive

24 Island Parent Magazine

V

Bach to the Future O 2:30pm, Farquhar Theatre at UVic

11 SATURDAY & 12 SUNDAY

O Christmas Tree

11 TUESDAY Have questions on online books, movies or magazines? Ready to do some research? Schedule a 30-minute session with a librarian.

250-743-5283 | southcowichan@virl.bc.ca

An inspiring storytelling experience that is fun for the whole family. majikkids.com

Moss Street Holiday Market V 10am–4pm, Sir James Douglas School

V

Book a Librarian CV CV 2–3pm South Cowichan Branch (Mill Bay)

Various times, Chemainus Theatre An unapologetically joyful, unabashedly simple and somewhat sentimental holiday concert. chemainustheatrefestival.ca

11 SATURDAY

2 SATURDAY & 3 SUNDAY 10am–2pm, McKenzie Elementary School Trees are chipped by donation, with all proceeds going to the creation of Outdoor Learning Spaces.

8 WEDNESDAY TO 12 SUNDAY Holiday Jubilation: A Christmas Concert

JANUARY

P Christmas Tree Chipping

Sooke Santa Parade

4 SATURDAY

Stuff the Bus for Charity

PR Pacific Rim G Gulf Islands O Online

Christmas comedy classic O Christmas Tea tour to Victoria.

V jamesandjamesy.com/o-christmas-tea

Esquimalt Celebration of Lights

Various times, Old Sears Bldg, Nanaimo North Tower Discover your new favourite local vendors selling scrumptious holiday treats, handmade gifts, all-natural bath and body products, sustainable crafted artwork and more. vancouverislandmarket.com

Wild Reuse: All Ages Outdoor Craft Camp

CV Cowichan Valley N Nanaimo & Area CX Comox Valley

5 SUNDAY

2 THURSDAY TO 5 SUNDAY Vancouver Island Market

Victoria & Area Peninsula Westshore

CV

Find out why families choose Evergreen. Call 250-743-2433 to book your private socially-distanced tour. Virtual tours may also be available. evergreenbc.net

IslandParent.ca

ONGOING Orcas: Our Shared Future

V

Daily until Mar 31, Royal BC Museum Dive deep into the stories and science that surround the magnificent orca, spirit of BC’s wild coast and apex predator of all oceans. Combine your visit with the IMAX: Humpback Whales. royalbcmuseum.bc.ca

Polar Express

V

Various times, Dec 4–31, IMAX Victoria Tom Hanks and director Robert Zemeckis reunite for The Polar Express, an inspiring adventure based on the beloved children’s book by Chris Van Allsburg. imaxvictoria.com

Pure New Zealand Merino Wool for little adventurers.

Newborn to 12 years.

Made in Canada. weewoollies.com @weewoollies

BACH to the FUTURE Sunday, January 16, 2:30 pm Farquhar at UVic MAESTRO JOEY, conductor

Tinsel Tunnel

V

9am–10pm, Ponds Landing Plaza, Bear Mountain Surround yourself with holiday magic as you take a walk through Tinsel Tunnel, snap a few photos that will literally sparkle! Located in the Ponds Landing Plaza at Bear Mountain. langford.ca

Anamalia Art Show 2022

Corky’s eccentric Uncle Siegfried is the obvious person to help her with her project on classical music. While poking around in his peculiar workshop, she accidentally combines the ingredients of a magical musical spell making her tumble through time to meet some of the world’s most fascinating composers.

Tickets can be purchased by calling Farquhar at UVic at 250.721.8480 or online by visiting victoriasymphony.ca

CV

Daily, Portals Gallery, Duncan Wild or domestic, mythological or real, mammals or insects, large or small, animals play an important role in our ecosystems and our lives. Join the menagerie. cowichanvalleyartscouncil.ca

South Cowichan Family Storytime

­

CV

Mill Bay Branch Library Bring the whole family for stories, songs, and fun at the Mill Bay Centre playground, rain or shine.

For ages 0–5 and their adults. Each Monday until Nov 1, except for Oct 11, Thanksgiving. Free. virl.bc.ca

IslandParent.ca

December/January 2021/22 25

H OLI DAYH A PPEN I N GS

Gingerbread Showcase

Breakfast with Santa

Daily until Jan Habitat for Humanity Victoria’s premier fundraiser, The Gingerbread Showcase, is back for its 13th year. The theme for this year’s Showcase: The Future of Home Bakers have taken a look forward, beyond the build to consider how we might live and what changes we could make to create a brighter future for everyone. Come and see the exciting possibilities and celebrate the season. Donate-to-Vote, in-person or online, for your favourite. habitatvictoria.com

10am, Saturdays & Sundays throughout December This family-style brunch service at the Oak Bay Beach Hotel includes cookie decorating at each table, a visit from Mr. Claus himself, as well as on-sit photo printing by Four Frames Photo Booth to bring the merry memories home. Adult $68, child (3-12 years) $36. oakbaybeachhotel.com

Butchart Gardens Christmas Daily until January 6, 2022 The Gardens’ Christmas hours begin November 26, 2021 and continue through January 6, 2022, with admission from 3:30pm – 9:00pm and viewing until 10:00pm. General admission and 12 Month Pass Holder tickets will be available online effective Wednesday, October 6 through to January 6, 2022. Reserve your time to visit at butchartgardens.com.

A Christmas Carol Christmas brings a return of Blue Bridge’s version of the perennial favourite A Christmas Carol starring Sanjay Talwar running from December 7-19. Performed in the manner that Charles Dickens presented his own work in 1853, Mr. Talwar will effortlessly walk his way through the dozens of characters contained in this classic with merely a shift in his voice. Live-streamed and inperson performances. bluebridgetheatre.ca 26 Island Parent Magazine

Christmas Movie Night 7:15, Tuesdays & Wednesdays throughout December Watch your favourite holiday films accompanied by freshly popped popcorn, hoiday sweets, bottled water and complimentary parking. A portion of each ticked sold will be donated to the Victoria Hospitals Foundation.

Dec 7, A Christmas Story; Dec 8, White Christmas; Dec 14 & 15, Home Alone; Dec 21 & 22, Love Actually; Dec 28, Bridget Jones Diary. oakbaybeachhotel.com

Maritime Museum of BC’s Holiday Workshops Get ready for the holidays, while learning a thing or two about knots, at the Maritime’s Nautical Wreath Workshop. Transform a single piece of rope into a beautiful holiday wreath. Wreath workshops run from 2-4:30pm on Dec 7, 9 & 18. Or try your hand at making Sea Glass Ornaments. Learn various wire-wrapping techniques to make beautiful sea glass ornaments, while sharing stories of some of British Columbia’s local beaches and the legends of “mermaid tears”. Seaglass workshops run from 2-3:30pm on Dec 11 & 14. All supplies provided and your ticket includes admission to the Maritime Museum (valid for 24 hours). mmbc.bc.ca

IslandParent.ca

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Email: stagesdance@shaw.ca, or visit us at www.stagesdance.com

Wonderheads Christmas Carol Wonderheads present their delightfully captivating reimagining of Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol, with giant masks, whimsical puppets, and wondrous theatrical invention. A feast for the eyes, ears, heart and funny bone, this astonishing production features larger than life characters, glowing ghosts, and larger-than-life puppets— to name just a few of the treats in store for audiences as they are whisked away with Ebenezer Scrooge on his magical Christmas Eve adventure. December 14 at 7:30pm, Sid Williams Theatre in Courtenay. sidwilliamstheatre.com IslandParent.ca

December/January 2021/22 27

Creative Journaling J

ournal writing can help kids explore and process feelings, build writing skills, and communicate their ideas.

Here—excerpted from Just the Two of Us: A Soft Place to Land for Tender Hearts by Nicole Nattrass—are a few ideas to help you get started.

1. Find a large journal or a scrapbook that will lie flat on the table.

I suggest very large so that there is ample room to be free. You have one page and the child has the other. You can often find these not only in art stores but dollar stores.

28 Island Parent Magazine

2. Find a special place to store this journal, somewhere reachable for your child.

This journal is something to share only between the two of you, not something to Show and Tell. It is a sacred trust. Your child will be the guide; this is based on their process. It can also be helpful to put a date somewhere on the page.

let them explore the boundary. Talk about it. Once trust and interest have been firmly established, engage in a positive, mutually inclusive conversation about consent/permission or other topics that may arise.

4. All mediums are welcome on the page—pencil, felt, tape, paint, glue, multimedia, collage—anything goes.

3. Let your child take the lead, Let your child lead, incorporating making this journal their own. any of their “stuff” onto the page. They They may want to decorate the front cover of the journal, do not push. Best not to jump to teaching moments. This is not homework. For example, if your child draws on your side of the page,

might find ways to add sparkles or mud or other “treasures.” It is also okay to let them explore destroying a page, it is just a page of a journal. Reminder, there are no journal police.

IslandParent.ca

Learn a new sport or refine your skills: come join our rock climbing teams!

5. The journal is always there when you need it.

If you are upset or struggling with something or when you need a break from day to day routine, take it out.

You are the model for this process.

Your child learns from your attitude and approach. Remember that the process is enough. Your child may or may not join you. Do not force participation. No punitive measures or pressured outcomes should interfere or be connected to this activity.

Try your best to not comment on what is “good” or what appeals to you instead become curious and ask questions: What colours did you use? Do you like that color? What is that? Tell me more about that. It’s important to be present. Sometimes the non- verbal can be more supportive than vocal praise because it does not stop the process. Remember, the value is in the “doing”, the process is more important than words.

Registration for recreational and competitive teams open now.

All levels welcome!

Ages 6–18.

Details and registration at climbtheboulders.com

The Boulders Climbing Gym 1627 Stelly’s Cross Road | Saanichton, BC | 250.544.0310

BC Transit’s

Santa Bus is coming to town!

December 10 & 11, 2021 } Ride free } Holiday decorations and music For Santa Bus routes and schedules, visit bctransit.com

Stuff the Bus for Charity!

December 4, 2021 9:00 a.m.– 3:00 p.m.

Save-On-Foods, Tillicum Centre Donations benefit the Salvation Army and The Mustard Seed

Nicolle Nattrass is a proud mom and creator of Creative Journaling programs with a trauma-informed lens. During Covid-19, she wrote Just the Two of Us (a soft place for tender hearts to land) a book on how to use journaling with children to process stress, anxiety and trauma. nicollenattrass.com IslandParent.ca

Transit Info 250·382·6161

bctransit.com December/January 2021/22 29

W H AT’ SF O R D I N N E R

The Warm Comfort of Soup

A

bit pot of hearty soup is the ideal winter meal. It’s something you can turn whenever you have very little time or energy to make a healthy dinner.

Flexible: Soups can be put together with whatever you happen to have in your fridge or cupboard.

Nourishing: Warm broths are comforting on a cold winter’s day.

Simple: They usually only involve one pot and a bit of chopping.

Connecting: Having your kids help with chopping up soup veggies not only makes it go quicker, it’s also a great way to connect at the end of a busy day.

Plentiful: It’s easy to make a double-batch and freeze the leftovers for an instant meal.

Here are three simple soups, that are ready in less than 45 minutes. While I’ve suggested particular vegetables, feel free to use whatever you have in your fridge. They are quick, easy and delicious. What more could you want?

Taco Minestrone

This dish combines the heartiness of minestrone with taco spices. The result is a soup that your family is sure to love. Corn pasta is a delicious and affordable gluten-free pasta. You can find it at many grocery stores, including Save On and Superstore. The toppings are optional, but I recommend having all of them!

Soup Base: 1 onion 4 cloves of garlic 2 Tbsp oil 1 Tbsp chili powder (or smoked paprika for a less spicy option) 1⁄2 tsp ground cumin 4 cups of broth 1 can 540 ml diced tomatoes 1 Tbsp oregano 1 can 540 ml of black beans 200g of corn pasta 1⁄2 tsp salt, to taste

Hearty Miso Soup

A hearty miso soup is warm and comforting. I particularly enjoy it when I have a cold, as it packs a lot of nutrients into a bowl. Garlic, ginger and miso have immune-boosting properties. Fresh red peppers are packed with vitamin C. Broth: 4 garlic cloves 2-inch piece of ginger 11 cups of water 1⁄4 cup of soy sauce 1 tsp salt, to taste 1⁄2 cup of miso paste, stirred into 1 cup of water Soup: 1 lb. rice noodles 3 carrots 1 bunch of kale 1 block of tofu Garnish: 2 spring onions, sliced 1 red pepper, finely diced Mince the garlic. Peel and grate the ginger.

Combine all the stock ingredients except for the miso in a large pot.

Bring to a boil then reduce to a simmer.

While the broth comes to a boil, thinly slice the carrots. Wash and rip the kale into bite-sized pieces. Slice the tofu into small cubes.

Once the broth is simmering, add the carrots. Cook for 5 minutes, then add the kale, tofu and noodles to the broth. Turn off the soup and let it sit until the noodles are tender (about 6 minutes for flat rice noodles.)

Once the noodles are soft, stir in the miso.

Serve with the garnishes.

Toppings: 1 red pepper, finely diced 2 tomatoes, chopped 3 spring onions, chopped 1⁄4 cup of cilantro Chop the onion and finely dice the garlic.

Saute the vegetables in the oil until the onions are sweating, about 2 minutes.

Add in the spices and toss to coat the vegetables.

Pour in the broth, tomatoes and the oregano.

Bring to a boil, then reduce the heat. Add in the black beans and pasta.

Simmer until the pasta is cooked, about 6 minutes.

Add the salt, taste, and add more salt if needed. The exact amount will depend on the saltiness of the broth.

Serve with your choice of toppings.

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Spiced Red Lentil Soup

Since this Red lentils cook really fast, perfect for a hearty soup that doesn’t take a lot of time. es. vegetabl the chopped soup is pureed at the end, you don’t have to be fussy when you and filling. warm is that meal complete a for bread, Serve this soup over rice or with a piece of Soup: 2 Tbsp oil 1 medium onion 2 medium carrots 2 celery stalks 3 cloves of garlic 1⁄2 tsp ground cumin 1⁄2 tsp ground coriander 1⁄2 tsp ground black pepper 8 cups of broth 2 cups of red lentils 1 tsp salt, to taste

Toppings: 1⁄4 cup of cilantro 2 tomatoes, diced

Coarsely chop the onion, carrots and celery. Peel the garlic.

Heat the oil and saute the vegetables until the onion starts to sweat, about 3 minutes.

Add the spices to the pot, and toss to coat the vegetables.

Pour in the broth and add in the lentils. lentils are Bring to a boil and simmer for 15 minutes, until the vegetables are soft and the cooked. salt, taste and Use an immersion blender to puree the soup to a smooth consistency. Add the broth. the of saltiness the on depend will amount exact The adjust as needed.

Serve with cilantro and chopped tomato.

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Emillie Parrish writes from Victoria and Saturna Island. She is the author of the Pacific Northwest lifestyle blog BerriesAndBarnacles.com.

December/January 2021/22 31

N ATU R E N OTES

At Risk, But Not Because of Winter

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hat do you think of when you hear the word “winter”? Does the word invoke visions of crunching through snow, a toque low on your head, a scarf tucked carefully in your jacket, and your toes warmed by thick socks? Do you picture walking through the forest in a regional park, hearing rain patter on the ground and children laughing as they explore?

When I think of ‘winter’, I think of all those things and how we’re lucky to be living on Vancouver Island. Southern Vancouver Island has the mildest winter climate in Canada. We don’t have metres of snow or bitter winds. The Olympic Mountains in the United States help shield intense winter weather. This means we can generally go for walks in our regional parks year-round!

Even with mild winters, animals in our regional parks have to adapt to the changing climate in different ways. Some of these animals are so few in number, they’re considered to be at-risk. How can Townsend’s bats, sharp-tailed snakes, and Marbled Murrelets survive winter in our Regional Parks? And how can we help?

Bats, the only true flying mammals, either migrate south to warmer climates or hibernate here during the winter.

Townsend’s bats are one of the few bats

32 Island Parent Magazine

that consistently overwinter in BC. They have a wingspan of about 30 cm (almost one foot) and enormous ears that are half their body length. They spend their winter hibernating in a cave, where they hang by their 10 toes, fold their wings in tight, and then coil their ears tight like a spring to reduce surface area and heat loss.

Easily woken up, these bats waste precious fat reserves relocating if their hibernation place is disturbed. Without these fat reserves, they may not survive the rest of hibernation. Since they only have one offspring a year, their population is slow to recover if numbers decline. While we may not see the bats when we’re out in regional parks in the winter, we can help them by staying on the trail to protect hibernation sites and wetland areas that provide homes for the insects the bats eat in the summer.

Snakes, on the other hand, don’t have the luxury of flying south for winter. As thick as a pencil and a bit longer than a ruler, the sharp-tailed snake is the smallest snake on Vancouver Island. They have a sharp scale at the end of their tail (hence their name). Being elusive nocturnal creatures, these snakes are hard to find.

In BC, these snakes are found only

on Southern Vancouver Island and the Gulf Islands in open woodland habitats, which are found in some regional parks.

While the snakes do hibernate during the cold months, more research is needed about their winter habitat. In one study, researchers found one snake had a home range only the length of two school buses (25 metres)!

With encroachment from development, these snakes live in increasingly fragmented habitat. If you think you’ve seen a sharp-tailed snake, take a picture and report it to the BC Conservation Data Centre. These sightings help researchers know where these snakes live and therefore which areas to better protect.

One of my favourite birds, the Marbled Murrelet, is a black and white robin-sized seabird that is usually found foraging within a few kilometres of the shore in winter. While some migrate south for winter, others stay in protected waters in the Salish Sea, such as Witty’s Lagoon Regional Park. These sheltered coves and bays provide protection from the cold winds and high waves of the ocean—important when you’re a tiny seabird!

While diving for schooling fish, these birds can reach up to 100km/hr and “fly” underwater using their wings. While

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Marbled Murrelets feed in the ocean, they have a surprising summer breeding location—old-growth forests up to 80km inland. But with old-growth forests disappearing due to logging, these birds can have trouble finding large mossy branches to lay their eggs. For the Marbled Murrelets, protection of the ocean and forests is vital.

These animals are just three of the over 1,800 plant and animal species considered at-risk in BC and it’s not the challenges of surviving winter that put them at risk. Habitat fragmentation and human development means their small numbers could get even smaller. That’s why regional parks are so important.

While they provide a place for recreation for us, they also provide homes and food for species we may not even see. Balancing recreation and conservation is everyone’s responsibility and teaching this to our families today allows future generations to also appreciate regional parks.

So when we’re out in regional parks in the winter, we can still crunch through the snow on the trail, but we can also be mindful of our family’s impact on other animals that rely on the park. By reporting sightings, respecting hibernation sites, and supporting the protection of habitat in regional parks, we can all help ensure these bats, snakes, and birds can survive many more winters to come.

Give Wonder!

975 Fort Street,Victoria BC - 250-595-4905 - motheringtouch.ca

Lauren Sherwood is a Park Naturalist with the Capital Regional District. For information on upcoming programs and events, visit crd.bc.ca/parks and follow us on social media: instagram.com/crd_bc, facebook.com/ CapitalRegionalDistrict.

Marbled murrelet photo: Andrew Reding Sharp-tailed snake photo: Christian Engelstoft IslandParent.ca

December/January 2021/22 33

PRESCHOOL&CHILDCAREDIRECTORY v Comprehensive programs for Preschool through Grade 11 v Delivering academic excellence through music, dance, drama and visual arts v Outstanding educators, locations and facilities

La Pré-Maternelle Appletree Preschool................250-479-0292 French immersion preschool. Group child care programs. 30 months to school age.

Christian centre. prematernelleappletree.com

www.ArtsCalibre.ca 250.382.3533

Castleview Child Care........... 250-595-5355 Learning Through Play & Discovery.

Licensed non-profit, ECE staff. Since 1958.

Morning or full-time care. castleviewchildcarecentre.com

Christ Church Cathedral Childcare & Jr. Kindergarten..................250-383-5132 ECE and specialist teachers provide an outstanding all day licensed program for 2.5–5 year olds at our Fairfield and Gordon Head locations. cathedralschool.ca

Emmanuel Baptist Church Child Care We offer all-day Day Care for 3 and 4 year olds.

We also offer an After School Care Program for Kindergarten to 12 years old for Campus View and Frank Hobbs.

250 598 0573

2121 Cedar Hill X Rd (by entrance to UVic)

Nightingale Preschool & Junior Kindergarten Ltd........ 250-595-7544 We offer education through creativity and play, providing rich learning experiences through a well sourced and stimulating indoor and outdoor environment. Early years reading programme. nightingalepreschool.com.

Arts/Drama programme. kidsworks.ca

Pre-School Junior Kindergarten PacificChristian.ca 250-479-4532 Educational Excellence to the Glory of God

Rainbows & Dreams Preschool

Offering small classes, creative 3–5 year and kindie programs. Safe, fun, nurturing environment to learn and grow.

daycare@emmanuelvictoria.ca afterschool@emmanuelvictoria.ca

250-479-1966 4184 Keewatin Place, Victoria

Island Kids Academy Esquimalt..............................250-381-2929 High quality child care (ages 1-5). Enriched Curriculum. Includes Music Classes and Character Development using the Virtues Project. Wait list being taken. Islandkids.ca

Ready Set Grow Preschool.....250-472-1530 Join our learning through play preschool located in Hillcrest Elem. Our caring ECEs offer an enriched Program for 3-4 hour, 2-5 days a week and help with kindergarten transition. heoscmanager@gmail.com

St. Margaret’s School Jr. Kindergarten Apply now for our Early Learning (JK and Kindergarten) Programs. Early learning at SMS is a curriculum-based program for 3 and 4 year olds.

St. Margaret’s School 250-479-7171 | admissions@stmarg.ca

SEEDLINGS Forest Education

Where nature becomes the Teacher!

Seedlings Forest Education is a Nature based program that includes After School Care, Nature Preschool, Parent Workshops, Saturday Seedlings, Summer Camps and more!

250-880-0660 seedlingsforesteducation.com

Sir James Douglas Preschool.............................250-389-0500 Fun, creative and educational ECE program for 3-5 year olds to grow and develop life long skills. Come play and learn in our bright and modern centre in Fairfield. sjdoutofschoolclub.com Victoria Montessori.............. 250-380-0534 Unique, innovative learning environment combining the best of Montessori and Learning Through Play. Open year round.

30mths–K. victoriamontessori.com

722 Johnson St,Victoria,BC

604.366.7080 willowbraeacademy.com

9006admin@willowbraechildcare.com

We implement a play-based curriculum where our trained professionals develop and adapt individual programs by observing and listening to your child.

Call your local CCRR for free referrals and resources.

Victoria & Gulf Islands: 250-382-7000 or 1-800-750-1868 Sooke: 250-642-5152 West Shore: 250-940-4882 Cowichan Valley: 250-746-4135 local 231 PacificCare (Ladysmith north): 250-756-2022 or 1-888-480-2273

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Victoria & Area

Peninsula

Carrot Seed Preschool...........250-658-2331 Where children can discover, imagine, construct and learn through play.

Wondrous natural playground. carrotseedpreschool.com

Island Montessori House....... 250-592-4411 Inclusive, integrated and nurturing Preschool and Before/After School Care programs.

Lovely rural setting with a focus on nature and outdoor environmental activities. islandmontessori.com

Westshore

Cowichan Valley

Sidney Preschool We are a licensed co-operative preschool with a philosophy of learning through play!

Four hour program, four days per week, for children ages 2.5-5 years. Celebrating 49 years! sidneypreschoolteacher@gmail.com, sidneypreschool.com

wild child

early learning centre

• Licensed program for 3–5 year olds • Nature focused • 3 hour morning classes

Exciting new learn-throughplay program in Saanichton, ideal for Peninsula families

Nanaimo & Area

The first steps in your child’s education Call for more information today: 250.746.3654

Queen Margaret’s School........250-746-4185 Early Childhood Education Program. Co-ed nurturing curriculum to develop the whole child. Healthy snacks and lunch provided. qms.bc.ca.

www.wcelc.ca

• Licensed programs, for children 3–5 years • Flexible part-time schedules • Supported spaces available • 3 and 4 hour morning classes Encouraging your child’s development and learning through play and exploration

Sunrise Waldorf School Preschool...............................250-743-7253 In a warm environment, this nature and play-based program enlivens and nurtures the growing child. sunrisewaldorfschool.org

Fullobeans.ca 250-360-1148 E: fullobeans@snplace.org

Island Kids Academy View Royal........................... 250-727-2929 High quality child care (ages 1-5). Enriched Curriculum. Includes Music Classes and Character Development using the Virtues Project. Wait list being taken. Islandkids.ca

Metchosin Co-Op Preschool A Co-operative preschool in the heart of rural Metchosin.

The best place to be.

Take a virtual tour today!

metchosinpreschool.com 250-478-9241 metchosinpreschool@gmail.com

Junior Kindergarten to Grade 12

Learn more today! 250-390-2201 AspengroveSchool.ca N A N A I M O’ S J K–1 2 I N T E R N AT I O N A L B AC C A L AU R E AT E WO R L D S C H O O L

Little Star Children’s Centre...........250-752-4554 Little Gems Infant & Toddler Care..250-228-5437 Mother, Daughter owned and operated. Earth friendly preschool education inspired by nature. Infused with fun and creative daily yoga practices! Licensed group care. Enthusiastic ECE instructors. littlestardaycare.ca

Nestled on 4 acres of lush west coast forest, our Award winning, Nature based program will not disappoint!

While firmly embracing the Reggio-Emila (Italy) Philosophy our dedicated team of educators use the environment as the third teacher as we encourage your child throughout their day.

Our purpose built facilities have been handmade using the trees from our forest. Come take a virtual tour on our website!

lexieslittlebears.ca

Waitlist: 250-590-3603 Programs for Infants/Toddlers/Pre-school Age. BC Award of Excellence in Childcare & Prime Minister’s Award of Excellence in Early Childhood Education.

IslandParent.ca

December/January 2021/22 35

K I DS ’ R E A DS

If You Give a Kid a Book…

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f they’re anything like my kids, they will love them. While my boys definitely have their favourite stories that we read over and over again, like Neon Leon, or any of our Berenstain Bear books, they love checking out new books and finding fresh favourites. So, when I asked my oldest if he wanted to snuggle up and pick out five books for this column, he jumped at the chance. After looking through some books, we decided to go with funny books, because funny books make great gifts. If you are looking for any books to give away as gifts this year, here are five kid-approved books to check out.

Sloth & Squirrel in a Pickle by Cathy Ballou Mealey and illustrated by Kelly Collier (Kids Can Press, 2021). Squirrel really wants to have a bike so he and Sloth can go so, so fast. But bikes cost more money than the two friends have.

But before Squirrel can cry Sloth sees a “hiring” sign and suggests they get a job canning pickles. This isn’t as easy as either of them thought it would be, but their attempts to can pickles is hilarious. And Collier does an excellent job of bringing Sloth and Squirrel to life with her illustrations. For ages 4 to 8.

Napoleon vs. The Bunnies by J.F. Fox and illustrated by Anna Kwan (Kids Can Press, 2021). You might think you know everything there is to know about Napoleon, but did

you ever hear about the time he battled bunnies? I hadn’t, but I’m so glad I’ve heard the story now, and I bet you will be too. As an added bonus, the book also has some other facts about Napoleon in the back if you or you child would like to know even more. For ages 4 to 8.

Arnold the Super-ish Hero by Heather Tekavec and illustrated by Guillaume Perreault (Kids Can Press, 2021).

Arnold comes come a family of superheroes and he really wants to be a superhero too, but he’s not strong, or fast, or bouncy. He is really good at taking notes, so he spends his days answering the superhero phone. But one day a call comes in and none of the superheroes are around. After a little pep talk to himself, Arnold grabs his great-grandmothers outfit and tries his best to save the day. For ages 4 to 8.

This is a Dog Book by Judith Henderson and illustrated

by Julien Chung (Kids Can Press, 2021). This might be a dog book, but there’s definitely a bunny on the cover. The bunny claims to be a dog, but the dogs just aren’t sure about that. To determine the truth, they give the bunny a series of tests including the “doo doo” test. The minimalist style of illustrations are really captivating and easily showcase many different types of dogs—and one bunny—throughout this book’s pages. For ages 4 to 8.

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WELCOME TO THE LANGFORD

We are a new location serving Families and Individuals on the Westshore We are a part of the Christmas Giving Network and offering Christmas assistance to Families and Individuals on the Westshore. Apply in person, by phone or online.

The Nut that Fell from the Tree by Sangeeta Bhadra and illustrated by France Cormier (Kids Can Press, 2020). In the same style as the song There’s a Hole in the Bottom of the Sea, this book follows the journey of a nut as it falls from a tree and passes throw the paws and beaks of different animals. My son got a real kick out of me stumbling over the tongue-twisting text, and it was even more funny when he tried to read it for himself. For ages 4 to 8.

And there you have it. Five kid-approved funny books that you can use as gifts for the children in your lives. And I know the books say that they’re for ages 4 to 8, but if you have younger or older children, I bet they’d find these books funny too. I know I did.

We are here all year long to support our community.

Tuesday to Friday 9:30am to 3:30pm Check our website or facebook for a list of family friendly events happening in January such as: • Connect N Craft (ladies Craft Group) • Play Cafe (time for parents and children aged 0–5) • Lil Miss & Brave (an empowerment program for girls) • Lil Grunts (a mentorship program for boys)

778-817-1141

saconnectionpoint.ca Unit 103 – 737 Goldstream Avenue, Victoria BC

Christina Van Starkenburg lives in Victoria with her husband, children, and cat. She is the author of One Tiny Turtle: A Story You Can Colour and many articles. To read more of her work and learn about her upcoming books visit christinavanstarkenburg.com. Facebook: facebook.com/christinavanstarkenburg and Twitter: @Christina_VanS IslandParent.ca

December/January 2021/22 37

CUTITOUT!

High-Intensity Praise

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e need to flip our discipline around and bring more intensity and focus to positive behaviour. This concept isn’t new but if you think about it, how much intensity do you give to children when they don’t follow instructions or when they make a mess.

“How many times do I have to tell you to empty your knapsack when you get home!”

When we yell, roll our eyes, or have a look on our face it sends a message. Body language is powerful and looks of disdain or contempt can speak volumes to a child. So can our tone of voice no matter how great we are at making I Statements.

Who do children think they are when we talk like this? Not very smart? Incapable?

Bad? No child wants to be somebody’s disappointment. Bring the volume down on corrective feedback. Say it softly, with

few words and low energy: “Sam, I notice your backpack hasn’t been emptied, can you take a moment to do that now please.” When you do this, you avoid promoting intense, negative feelings in the child such as fear or humiliation.

These feelings activate a child’s nervous system and create defiance, defensiveness or self-criticism.

Turn up the volume on positive feedback.

We need to find much more genuine and creative ways to praise children. The boring and often meaningless, “Good job!” doesn’t really mean much. Not only that, empty praise or gushy praise can be manipulative and insincere. Children feel this and it can bring about resistance.

Or, if they buy into the verbal tick of good job, they become approval junkies and take fewer healthy risks. This sugarcoated form of control backfires and the more you give, the more they need.

Giveaway:

Instead, be specific, sincere and show expressed delight. “Sam, you just walked right in and emptied your knapsack without being asked.” This takes a lot of memory power. How did you remember to do this? The key is to be sincere and genuinely notice the child’s efforts or choices. You can also match your child’s temperament. If you have an intense child, put some volume and zest into the feedback. If you have a child who is more of a mild reactor, get alongside them and show expressed delight with quiet enthusiasm. Keep it real and not a form of manipulation Show authentic, in the moment, positive regard to your child and watch them flourish.

Dr. Allison Rees is a parent educator, counsellor and coach at LIFE Seminars (Living in Families Effectively), lifeseminars.com.

This elaborate layered winter wreath will create a beautiful wall or door feature. Paints, brushes, wood glue and step by step instructions included. Over 20 accessories: Birds, candle, presents, bells, bow, pinecone, ice skate, candy cane, mix, scarf, mushroom, snowflakes, toque, gingerbread people, poinsettia, foliage and warm wishes words.

Designed, laser cut and packaged locally by the team at McTavish Academy Of Art in North Saanich, BC. Enter now for your chance to win this Winter Wreath Art Kit at IslandParent.ca

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December/January 2021/22 39

The sweetest holiday event in town!

Visit our four hosts in Victoria as we imagine the Future of Home.

Tap to donate & vote for your favourite !

Every donation will help Habitat Victoria build a brighter future for families.

Our thanks to media sponsor

Habitat for Humanity Victoria’s

Nov. 20 , 2021 – Jan. 2, 2022 www.habitatvictoria.com/ gingerbread2021

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donate & vote for your favourite