May 2015 Island Parent

Island Parent Celebrating

27 Years

The Resource Publication for Vancouver Island Parents

May 2015

Yo! Mama

Tips, advice & ramblings

Life in the Slow Lane Loving Your Ex for Your Kids’ Sake Books for the Maternally Inclined

New & Expectant Parents Products & services

his May! Celebrating our 2 nd birthday t

Curiosity • Diversity Exploration • Nature Play-Oriented Learning

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May 2015  1

Contents: May 2015 Articles

Life in the Slow Lane....................................................................................... 8 Yo! Mama..................................................................................................... 11 Band-Aids & Adventure................................................................................ 12 Loving Your Ex for Your Kids’ Sake.............................................................. 16 Inviting the Teacher to Tea............................................................................ 18 Products & Services for New Parents............................................................ 20 Books for the Maternally Inclined................................................................. 22 What Teens Are Reading............................................................................... 26 Community Connections for New Parents.................................................... 34

Columns

Editor’s Note................................................................................................... 3 Dadspeak...................................................................................................... 36 Healthy Families; Happy Families................................................................. 38 Is There an App for This?.............................................................................. 40 Just Eat It!..................................................................................................... 42 Book Nook................................................................................................... 44 New Parent Pages.......................................................................................... 48 Dadspeak...................................................................................................... 36 Maternity & Beyond..................................................................................... 52 Nature Notes................................................................................................ 54 Cut It Out..................................................................................................... 56

Departments

IPM Notes....................................................................................................... 4 Party Directory........................................................................................ 24, 25 Family Calendar............................................................................................ 28 Around the Island......................................................................................... 32 Family-Friendly Cowichan Valley & Mid-Island........................................... 45 Family Services Directory.............................................................................. 46 Preschool & Child Care Directory........................................................... 50, 51 Business & Professional Directory................................................................. 53 Island Parent Magazine, produced by Island Parent Group Enterprises Ltd., is a monthly publication that honours and supports parents by providing information on resources and businesses for families, and a forum for the exchange of ideas and opinions. Views expressed are not necessarily those of the publisher. Letters (max 250 words) should be emailed to the Editor at editor@islandparent.ca. No material herein may be reproduced without the permission of the Editor. Unsolicited manuscripts are welcome and should be emailed to editor@islandparent.ca.

Island Parent Magazine is distributed free in selected areas. Subscriptions can be obtained by sending $32.00 (includes GST) with your name and address to the address below. Canada Post: Canadian Publications Mail Sales Product Agreement 40051398.

Island Parent Magazine

830-A Pembroke St, Victoria, BC V8T 1H9 Tel: 250-388-6905 Websites: islandparent.ca, kidsinvictoria.com Publisher/Owner: Mark Warner Editor: Sue Fast Sales & Marketing: RaeLeigh Buchanan Publisher’s Assistant & Sales: Linda Frear Distribution: Ray Cutts, Ted Dawe (Mid-Island) Founders: Jim Holland & Selinde Krayenhoff Production: Eacrett Graphic Design Printed at Black Press, Victoria Cover printed at Hillside Printing ISSN 0838-5505

2 Island Parent Magazine

On the Cover: Owen D. Cover Photo: Keri Coles, kericoles.com

Follow Us on Facebook & Twitter facebook.com/IslandParent twitter.com/IslandParent kidsinvictoria.com

Be Where You Are

B

abies Skype. When they’re separated from grandparents living hundreds of kilometres away or from family living just down the block, babies everywhere are either drooling on or they’re gumming, er, coming to a screen near you. Babies are texting, too—or their parents are for them— not to mention tweeting, Instagramming, Facebooking, and pinning…and we’re not talking baby-safe diaper pins here, either.

Ask most moms what helped them survive the hazy first days of new babyhood and chances are they’ll tell you that—along with having a supportive partner, family member or friend close by—what helped them stay sane and grounded was having some connection to the outside world, both virtual and real.

A mixed blessing in the form of limitless information and advice, along with a sense of community, support, and connection, the virtual world in particular has changed the face of motherhood. And for the most part, I’d bet, for the better. Feeling exhausted and alone during that 3:42 a.m. feeding? Chances are there’s someone else online with whom

basic rules around both. No technology at meals, for example, or when you’re spending time with family and friends.

“The idea that we should put each other on

to commiserate. Isolated and lonely after being stuck inside for days with a fussy baby?

There’s likely a Moms Meetup site to help with that. Have the cutest video clip of your baby talking to the dog? Post it, Pin it, and/ or send it—all within seconds.

In her book, Alone Together: Why We Expect More from Technology and Less From Each Other, author Sherry Turkle warns that as we ratchet up the volume and velocity of our communication, we have to be careful that we don’t set up a pace that takes us away from each other.

Kids step out of school to see their parents looking down at their smartphones, says Turkle in an interview for the American Psychological Association. Boys who once chatted with dad between plays as they watched sports now wait while he checks his email instead, she says. Little ones are nursed or bottle-fed while mom texts, diluting the emotional exchange of this primal, intimate contact.

Turkle acknowledges that social networking sites and text messaging can be both good and bad. The key, she says, is to establish some

Editor’s Note Sue Fast pause, as though we were machines, in order to attend to those who are not present has become commonplace,” says Turkle. “[That idea] needs to be examined. I don’t think that is how we want to treat each other.”

In her book Thrive, author Arianna Huffington writes: “The last time my mother got angry with me before she died was when she saw me reading my email and talking to my children at the same time. ‘I abhor multitasking,’ she said, in a Greek accent that puts mine to shame. In other words, being connected in a shallow way to the entire world can prevent us from being deeply connected to those closest to us—including ourselves. And that is where wisdom is found.”

Here’s to staying connected, both online and off. #HappyMothersDay

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IslandParent.ca

May 2015 3

Pregnant? IPM Notes Hike for Hospice 2015

BC’s Medical Services Plan pays for midwifery care, including in-home check-ups in labour and after you’ve had your baby. You can self-refer to a midwife.

Mark your calendar and start fundraising with your family, friends, or group for the Canadian Hospice Palliative Care Hike for Hospice on Sunday, May 3. This nationwide event is designed to bring together individuals and organizations to raise funds and awareness for hospice and palliative care.

The hike will take place in several communities across Vancouver Island and is open to everyone.

Nanaimo and area residents meet at Maffeo Sutton Park for A Walk to Remember and Picnic in the Park. Registration will begin at 10am and the hike starts at 11am.

Afterwards, participants are invited to the Picnic in the Park from noon-2pm.

Gather pledges, gather a team. Wear your company logo. Leashed pets are welcome.

To register, phone Nanaimo Hospice Community Society at 250-758-8857 or email jeannef@nanaimohospice.com. For links for online fundraising or to print a pledge sheet, visit nanaimohospice.com.

Quality Care

Mother’s Day Garden Tour of Music and Memories

Pregnancy is a state of health. Midwives recognize what an extraordinary time this is in your life and we are available to support you through your childbearing year.

Covered by Your BC Health Care

Studies show that midwifery clients have lower rates of episiotomies, infection, Caesarean sections, forceps and vacuum deliveries and newborns that require resuscitation.

Choice of Hospital or Home Birth Continuity of Care Comprehensive Care Breastfeeding Education & Support We would be pleased to schedule an appointment to answer your questions about midwifery care.

midwivesinvictoria.ca 4 Island Parent Magazine

Strolling through beautiful gardens carried along by wonderful music—is there truly any better way to spend the day with a woman you love?

This Mother’s Day weekend on May 9 and 10, you can connect with gorgeous gardens while enjoying the rewards of our early Victoria spring. Your two-day pass grants exclusive entrance to 10 enchanting private oases where you will delight in the inspiration and joy of gardening while enjoying music from Victoria Conservatory of Music students and faculty. As a bonus, you can have all your gardening questions answered by on-site Master Gardeners and participate in a plant sale and silent auction.

Add a grand finale to your weekend at Daniel Lapp’s Joy of Life concert on Sunday, May 10 at 3pm in Alix Goolden Performance Hall, just show your Garden Tour ticket and you’ll receive $10 off. Garden Tour participants also receive a special rate at the Oswego Hotel, just mention the tour.

Visit vcm.bc.ca/tickets-garden-tour for ticket locations. All proceeds support the Victoria Conservatory of Music.

Mother’s Day Paint-In & Craft Fair at Royal Roads On Sunday, May 10 from 10am-4pm,

you can drop by the 20th annual Mother’s Day Paint-In and Craft Fair at Royal Roads University located in Hatley Park National Historic Site and experience a community outdoor festival where more than 3,000 visitors are expected.

Local artisans will display hand-sculpted and painted glass art, organic seasonings, fudge, jewelry, pottery, garden stepping stones and home grown plants, among other things. Learn more from community leaders who will share Colwood’s heritage and community initiatives, power smart conservation tips and fun interactive activities.

Other highlights will include a variety of family entertainment, main-stage performances, children’s craft station and complimentary access to Hatley Castle and the gardens, with the opportunity to join a 30-minute guided tour of Hatley Castle.

The museum and gift shop will also be open in the lower level of Hatley Castle.

Visit hatleypark.ca for more information.

Catch Gold Fever at Royal BC Museum In 1858 word of gold rang out in the Fraser Canyon, setting off a dramatic migration of people and propelling this once remote region of western North American into the modern age.

Starting May 13 at the Royal BC Museum, you can witness this fascinating era of history come to life again with Gold Rush! El Dorado in BC. Through interactive displays, rare artifacts and an international perspective, this fascinating exhibition will showcase the far-reaching impact of the gold rush, as class and racial barriers were broken down and people seized the extraordinary opportunities that glittered before them.

Visitors can marvel at the dazzling Turnagain Nugget, the largest existing gold nugget from BC at 1,642g (52 oz), see a real stagecoach on loan from the Historic O’Keefe Ranch, and witness the cultural influences of gold through the Bill Reid gold box, just a sampling of the more than 400 objects on display.

Gold Rush! includes the exclusive North American engagement of Allure of Gold, a companion exhibition of pre-Hispanic gold art, on loan from the Museo del Oro in Bogotá, Colombia. This collection showcases the central role this sacred metal occupied in the life of indigenous people in Colombia.

Also on display will be a rich array of historic and contemporary treasures from partner institutions, such as the Guinness World Record-holding million dollar coin kidsinvictoria.com

from the Royal Canadian Mint, on display from May 13-June 14 only.

Visit Gold Rush! El Dorado in BC to come face-to-face with the real history of gold in BC and beyond. For more information, visit royalbcmuseum.bc.ca.

Shrek the Musical In a faraway kingdom turned upside down, things get ugly when an unseemly ogre—not a handsome prince—shows up to rescue a feisty princess. Throw in an overly talkative donkey, a bad guy with a short temper, a cookie with an attitude, and a dozen other fairy tale misfits, and you’ve got the kind of mess that calls for a real hero. Luckily, there’s one on hand…

Shrek.

Selkirk Waterfront Festival The Selkirk Waterfront Festival is an annual event hosted by the Burnside Gorge Community Association and will be held on Saturday May 23, from 10am-3pm.

Don’t miss this free, fun-filled family event that offers something for everyone. Highlights include the Giant Swing Ride, fun inflatables, facepainting, balloon twisting and duck pond in the Family Fun Zone; the international food court where you can explore taste sensations from around the world (Mexican, Hungarian, Polish, Greek, East Indian and carnival treats), and the Artisan Craft Market with fine artwork and handicrafts for sale.

Groove to the sounds of local performers Caleb and the Colts, the Lebeau-Petersen Band, and the boogie-down-beat of the Soul Shakers, with Salsa Caliente Dance shaking up the dance floor with a sizzling salsa performance. Wander down to the inner waterway to catch the Fairway Gorge Super Sprints Dragon Boat Races which are held the same day. There are lots of opportunities to get involved with this great festival: as a vendor, volunteer or sponsor. For more information contact Burnside Gorge Community Centre at 250-388-5251, or email info@burnsidegorge.ca.

Victoria Children’s Choir Auditions

Full of all-new songs, great dancing and breathtaking scenery. Shrek is part romance, part twisted comedic fairy tale and all irreverent fun for everyone.

Shrek The Musical is based on the Oscarwinning DreamWorks film that started it all. It brings the hilarious story of our favorite ogre to dazzling new life on stage.

Shrek The Musical is also based on the book by William Steiger. Book and lyrics

by David Lindsay-Abaire, music by Jeanine Tesori. Originally produced on Broadway

by DreamWorks Theatricals and Neal Street Productions.

Shrek will run at Isabelle Reader Theatre, 126 Goldstream Ave, from May 22-31.

Tickets available online at fsmtheatre.ca, in person at Westside InstaPrint in Langford, and at Jennings Florist or Ivy’s Book Shop in Oak Bay. Children under two are free, 12 and under $12, adults $18. Family: $54 (2 adults and 2 children).

IslandParent.ca

The Victoria Children’s Choir (VCC) invites kids aged eight to 16 to audition for the 2015-2016 season.

VCC’s program offers: • opportunities to perform in exclusive events and concerts, and with respected artists • a new singing challenge, and the training to conquer that challenge • a way to develop natural talents • greater self-confidence • social experiences that teach teamwork, respect and motivation.

The Concert Choir and Apprentice Choir will learn a variety of masterpieces and modern arrangements that teach vocal technique at an international-performance level. As the choristers’ abilities grow, so will their knowledge and affection for all music—an appreciation easily shared among families as a whole.

Kids annd teens who audition should be keen to contribute to the choir, have a good musical ear, pleasant voice in terms of resonance and breath support, and an ability to read language. With numerous rehearsals, performances, camps, and tours, choristers

May 2015 5

IPM Notes

Summer Holiday Programs

need to be in good physical health to fully participate in choir activities.

To reserve an audition on May 23 and May 30, visit victoriachildrenschoir.ca/ get-involved/singwithvictoriachildrenschoir-auditions or email vcc@victoriachildrenschoir.ca. Find out more about the audition process and the VCC program at victoriachildrenschoir.ca.

Choose from:

Circus Circus, Shoot the Write Stuff, Summer Chefs, Passion Sports Basketball, and much more!

A limited number of bursaries are available.

Visit our website for information on these and other programs: www.smus.ca/summer or call the Education Extension office at 250-370-6120.

Bike to Work Week

smus.ca

FOR ALL KIDS IN VICTORIA AGES 5–15

Exist in Photographs.

Colleen Boak 250-590-3506

www.roysphoto.com facebook.com/roysphoto

Emmanuel Summer Programs 2015 Date

Camp

Hours & Fees

July 6–10

Little Friends Preschool Camp Ages 3-5

9am–Noon $55

July 13–17 Dance, Music & Cheerleading Gr. 2–6

9am–3pm $98

July 20–24 Science & Soccer Gr. 2–6

9am–3pm $98

Aug. 4–7

9am–Noon $45

Holiday Celebration Camp Kind.–Gr. 3

Aug. 10–14 ‘Everest’ Vacation Bible School 9am–Noon Age 4–Gr. 6 $15 2121 Cedar Hill Cross Road at the Henderson entrance to UVic If you like Frozen you will love Everest!

6

Island Parent Magazine

Phone 250-592-2418 / Fax 250-592-4646

Please register according to your child’s grade this Fall.

Children must be 4 yrs old by Dec. 31, 2015 to attend the camps.

office@emmanuelvictoria.ca / emmanuelvictoria.ca

The Greater Victoria Bike to Work Week (BTWW) has been spinning its wheels for more than two decades and is proud to announce this year’s event, will run from May 25–31. The wheels are in motion planning events throughout the week to celebrate one of the capital region’s most supported and recognized free community events attracting over 7,000 commuter cyclists each year, including about 12,000 new cyclists since inception. Register for your chance to win one of many great prizes, including the Grand Prize, a Prague-to-Budapest Cycling Trip for two.

Unique to Greater Victoria Bike to Work Week are the cycling skills courses for adults, youth and children, sponsored by the Capital Region District’s Ride On! program.

These courses are fun, informative, build confidence and introduce participants to the cycling community. For information on BTWW registration, bike safety, and for other BTWW resources, visit biketowork. ca/victoria.

World Partnership Walk Celebrate the 31st annual World Partnership Walk on Sunday, May 31 at the University of Victoria. This is Canada’s largest event in support of international development.

The Walk takes place at UVic, meandering along the beautiful Alumni Chip Trail, through Finnerty Gardens and along the ridge above Mystic Vale. The annual UVic Asian Heritage Celebration will be providing great cultural entertainment and activities on the Walk Day. Also, there will be food, a kid’s play area and a Global Village to learn about how we as Canadians are contributing to programs in Africa and Asia.

One hundred per cent of the funds raised are used to help communities in the poorest regions of Asia and Africa with initiatives in education and literacy, agriculture, clean water, and health care. Families in Victoria kidsinvictoria.com

are an important part of this solution to global poverty.

The World Partnership Walk is a green initiative, so bring your water bottle, and help us make this walk environmentally friendly.

Same-day registration begins at 10am or register online at worldpartnershipwalk. com. Opening ceremonies start at 11am.

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SUMMIT X3

Dougla

This spring, Victoria’s Team 4 Hope will be hosting the 4th Annual Touch-A-Truck for Pediatric Cancer Research on May 31 from 11am-3pm at Panorama Recreation Centre, 1885 Forest Park Drive. Children and their families are invited to get behind the wheel and explore trucks of all kinds, including firetrucks, police cars, excavators, cement trucks and more. This fun-filled afternoon also includes a host of family activities and a barbecue sponsored by Fairway Markets.

In the past three years, Team 4 Hope’s Touch-A-Truck event has raised over $26,000 for critical neuroblastoma research. Neuroblastoma is an aggressive and deadly nervous system tumor that is usually diagnosed in children age six and younger. It affects approximately 70 children in Canada per year. The chance for survival is grim, as neuroblastoma often comes back after treatment. After relapse, there is no standard treatment protocol and no cure. As of 2015, there were 11 children in the Victoria area who had been affected by neuroblastoma.

One child was newly diagnosed, five of these children are currently in remission, two have relapsed and three have passed away.

Due to the limited amount of neuroblastoma research, the survival rate has not changed significantly in the past 20 years.

The Team 4 Hope is trying to initiate a positive change in neuroblastoma survival rates by raising research funds for neuroblastoma. Since their founding four years ago, the team has raised over $250,000 for neuroblastoma research, with funds going to support new projects at research facilities in British Columbia, including the BC Children’s Hospital Foundation and the Michael Smith Genome Sciences Centre (BC Cancer Agency).

Join the Team 4 Hope at Touch-A-Truck 2015 for Pediatric Cancer Research to help give hope to children battling neuroblastoma. Tickets: $15 per family (advance), $20 per family (at the door) or $5 for individual tickets. To purchase your tickets, please visit team4hope.com or contact Melissa at melissa.drolet@gmail.com.•

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May 2015

7

Rachel Dunstan Muller

Life in the Slow Lane

T

here’s an adrenaline buzz that comes from having your finger glued to the fastforward button—which is how most of us seem to live in the 21st century. We equate efficiency and speed with productivity. We get bragging rights for how much we can fit into our days. But a growing number of people are questioning our culture’s obsession with ‘fast-everything,’ arguing that it’s harmful to our physical and mental wellbeing, to our families, and even to our planet.

I’ve been flirting with life in the slow lane myself recently, and I’m discovering that a more intentional pace has all kinds of benefits. Switching to the slow lane isn’t necessarily easy, but the rewards can be profound.

Slow Transportation. For the last few months I’ve been taking every opportunity I can to walk and/or bike with my six- and eight-year-olds. It’s required some careful route and wardrobe planning, and has meant we’ve had to budget more time to get from point A to point B. I don’t see this as lost time however, but rather as an investment in fresh air, exercise, and connection. We’ve had some fascinating conversations while on foot—conversations that I’m sure we wouldn’t have had in the car, with mom distracted by the radio, and sister and brother bickering in the back seat. We’ve observed all kinds of things we wouldn’t have noticed from a vehicle: spring bulbs emerging from the earth, birds’ nests, garter snakes, interesting dogs, friendly people, and countless other curiosities. I’ve seen my children’s cycling skills and road-smarts improve over a very short period of time, and I’ve seen their stamina and confidence grow. Meanwhile our gas consumption has dropped, and we’re putting a little less CO2 and other pollutants into the air.

Slow Food. The North American diet has been less than ideal for several decades, relying heavily on factory-processed food made from ingredients grown in chemicallydependant soils, and transported thousands of miles. By supporting local food producers and traditions, the international Slow Food

8 Island Parent Magazine

movement offers an alternative to fast food culture. Slow Food members encourage their communities to be conscious of where their food comes from, how it tastes, and how its consumption effects people in other parts of the world. As parents we can join this informal revolution by growing produce in our gardens, by picking and preserving fruit in the summer, by supporting farm stands and local farmers markets, and by asking for and purchasing locally-grown or produced food in our neighbourhood supermarkets. We can learn to cook and bake from scratch, and we can pass these skills on to our kids and our kids’ friends. By practising slow food principles, we support our local food economy while feeding our families a healthier and tastier diet.

Slow Parenting. As parents we want to give our children every advantage, but increasingly there’s been a trend towards over-programming and an unhealthy pressure to perform. We pack our kids’ schedules with good activities, until there’s almost no time left over. The slow parenting movement argues that by placing boundaries on extracurricular commitments, we honour our children’s need to breathe, to play freely, and to explore the world and their place in it on their own terms. Less racing around also means less pressure on parents, less driving, and more time to cook from scratch and share meals together. Simplicity Parenting by Kim John Payne, and Under Pressure by Carl Honoré both offer excellent introductions to this movement.

Delayed Gratification. “Good things come to those who wait” definitely isn’t the mantra of our century. We live in an age of instant gratification—we want what we want now.

But we do our children a disservice if we constantly give into this pressure. Children who learn to delay gratification have huge advantages over those who don’t. As they grow older they’re more likely to perform well academically, to cope better with stress, to have better social skills, and to have fewer substance abuse problems. (Google “The Marshmallow Experiment” and its followkidsinvictoria.com

up study if you’re interested in this subject.)

How can we practise delayed gratification in a way that also shows concern for the planet? We can use the internet to request books and movies from the library instead of buying them. When our kids express a desire for a new toy that they’ve seen at a friend’s house, we can put it on their birthday or Christmas lists, or help them look for a similar object at garage sales, thrift stores or via Facebook groups. Depending on their

To keep temptation to a minimum, we can visit the playground, beach or the library instead of the mall.

These strategies work to curb the impulse purchases of parents as well! age, we might give them opportunities to earn and save towards the desired item.

The passage of time will often diminish their enthusiasm—separating what they really want from passing desires. To keep temptation to a minimum, we can visit the playground, beach or the library instead of the mall. These strategies work to curb the impulse purchases of parents as well!

Slow Labour. I’m all in favour of many labour-saving devices—I can’t imagine life without my washing machine. But some tasks are worth doing by hand. It takes me five minutes to hang a large load of laundry near the woodstove during the winter, or on the line outside in the summer. This saves between 4 and 5 kWh of electricity per large load, which is roughly a third of our family’s daily usage. That’s five minutes well spent! I also prefer to rake leaves by hand, and mow our lawn with a reel mower when it’s my turn. It takes a little longer, but I get some welcome exercise and spare myself and my neighbours the noise and pollution of a gas-powered leaf blower or mower.

In a world that glorifies speed, it can take conscious effort to switch to a slower lane. The effort is worthwhile if it means we get to live our lives instead of hurrying through them. For more encouragement and inspiration, check out Carl Honoré’s book In Praise of Slow.

Rachel Dunstan Muller is the mother of five, and a children’s author. Her previous articles can be found at kidsinvictoria.com.

IslandParent.ca

New Kids Dentist

Dr. Anita Gadzinska-Myers

is a Board Certified Specialist in Pediatric Dentistry and has a Fellowship in Special Needs Dentistry for children • Accepting new patients now (infants to teenagers) • Referral not needed • Member of Cleft Lip and Palate Team

Special Services:

short wait list • oral sedation • hospital dentistry • nitrous oxide

Victoria Pediatric Dental Centre g We’re Movin

New Location: 205–1830 Oak Bay Ave

250-383-2133

www.victoriapediatricdentalcentre.ca

Birds Up Close

Flying daily March – October www.the-raptors.com 1877 Herd Rd. Duncan BC 250-746-0372

Glenlyon Norfolk School Marine Adventure Program Teen Marine Kayak Camps – Summer 2015 Ph 250-370-6852 Email dtyrrell@mygns.ca Day Camps: July 27–31, Aug 10–14

These popular camps (9:00–4:30) for children ages 11 to 12 cover all the basics in sea kayaking, with plenty of fun for the younger paddler. Cost: $275.00

Teen Barkley Sound: July 5–10 Teen Johnstone Strait: Aug 23–28 Two exciting sea kayak camping expeditions for teens ages 15–17.

Cost: $675.00 + tax

Discovery Camps: July 13–17, Aug 3–7

For ages 13 to 14, sea kayaking basics, rescues, games, and a three-day camping experience on Discovery Island.

Cost: $295.00 + tax

Offering marine adventure since 1995!

May 2015 9

Playtime with Your Baby Learning and growing in the first year

A

s a parent, you are your baby’s first playmate. Play is a fun way for the two of you to bond and encourages healthy child development.

Play is how children learn—about themselves, other people, and the world around them. Play helps to build confidence, relationships, and basic skills.

Toys for babies don’t need to be expensive. They can be things you have around the house, as long as they are unbreakable, safe (no loose parts, broken pieces or sharp edges), and the right size (anything that can fit through a paper towel roll is too small).

Good toys are washable, made to last and appeal to parents too. After all, you’ll both be playing with them!

Words and music: Instant Playtime For the first year of your baby’s life, play won’t involve toys much at all. Reading, speaking, and singing are fun and easy (and portable) ways to play with your baby. And they are rich learning experiences. Here are some suggestions: • Use rhymes, games and songs as you go through the routines of your day. You can make up a diaper-changing tune, or try a little rhyme as you’re putting shoes on.

• Play with books. Read to your baby every day, and remember that babies also want to play with books. They like to put books in their mouth and try to turn pages, so provide clean and sturdy board books.

• Encourage babble. It’s how babies learn to make different sounds using their own voice. Repeat these sounds, and turn them into real words. As you do this, you can make up all sorts of language games that are sure to delight your baby!

For more ideas on learning experiences, visit Canadian Paediatric Society’s Caring For Kids website at caringforkids.cps.ca.

10 Island Parent Magazine

kidsinvictoria.com

Yo! Mama

Wisdom, Tips, Advice & Ramblings “if i had written the greatest book, composed the greatest symphony, painted the most beautiful painting or carved the most exquisite figure i could not have felt the more exalted creator than i did when they placed my child in my arms.” – Dorothy Day

7 Things Expectant Moms Must Do Before Baby is Born according to scarymommy.com

1. Sit in complete silence. Hear that? Of course you don’t. It’s silent.

2. Take the longest shower in the history of mankind. Use that hair mask that you bought last year but only used once because it has to be left in for 45 minutes.

3. Read a book. I’m not talking about What to Expect While You’re Expecting or The Girlfriend’s Guide to Pregnancy. I mean a book with characters and a plot.

4. Nap. I don’t feel like this requires an explanation.

5. Take all of your prized possessions that you’d be devastated to see broken or lost or thrown up on, and place them carefully in a large box. Then drive that box to a storage unit. In another state. And don’t get it back out until your youngest child moves out of the house.

6. Have a lengthy phone conversation about absolutely nothing.

7. Go somewhere. Right now. Seriously. Just grab your keys and your wallet, and go

Top 10 Name Predictions for 2015 (from the latest books, TV shows and movies, more classic and less “trendy” than last year): Hazel & Gus (The Fault in Our Stars) • Martin & Mahalia (Selma) • Annie & William (Annie) • Nick & Amy (Gone Girl) • Solomon

& Patsey (12 Years a Slave)

according to sheknows.com

5 Universal Truths of New Motherhood: 1. While you will love your child with all of your heart, you will also most passionately feel this love when your child is sleeping.

2. However disgusted you are at the secretions of other people’s children, when it comes to your own child, you will mindlessly roll around in her bodily fluids with the reckless abandon of a raccoon on spring break.

3. You will do whatever you’ve got to do to get by. Think you would never co-sleep? Tell me your opinion on that after stumbling into the nursery like a partially blind and legally drunk sailor for the 50th time in a week.

4. You really cannot get sh*t done when you have a baby. I know you might think you can.

That would be incorrect.

5. Meeting and befriending other new moms is like dating other temporarily mentally unstable people. It’s Tinder meets Girl, Interrupted, but with plumper lead actresses.

From 5 Universal Truths of New Motherhood by Liz Curtis Faria on Huffington Post huffingtonpost.com.

Think of it this way: Peer pressure isn’t so bad when it involves peas.

From Haiku Mama (because 17 syllables is all you have time to read) by Kari Anne Roy. Quirk Books.

IslandParent.ca

Erin Wallis Photography • erinwallis.com

#inthetrenches Brian Hope @Brianhopecomedy My 4-year-old and I are having an argument. I’m telling him that he is making me late for work and he’s telling me that he is Batman.

matt @biorhythmist You should totally let your kids choose their own names.

We are so proud of Dumptruck and Spiderman.

Alex Baze @bazecraze I would describe my personal style as “this smelled clean.”

Abbi Crutchfield @curlycomedy If you say, “Free range mutant ginger turbos” people still know what you’re talking about.

Mom’s Muffins 1⁄2 cup all-purpose flour 1⁄2 cup walnuts, roughly chopped 1 cup whole wheat flour 1⁄2 cup raisins 1⁄4 cup ground flaxseed/flaxseed meal 1 cup regular oats 1⁄2 cup packed brown sugar 1 tsp baking soda 2 tsp baking powder 1⁄2 tsp ground cinnamon 1⁄2 tsp salt 1 cup buttermilk 1⁄2 cup applesauce 1 whole egg 1 whole banana, mashed 1⁄4 cup molasses extra buttermilk, for thinning Preheat the oven to 350˚F. Grease a 12-count muffin pan. In a large bowl, combine flours, flaxseed meal, oats, brown sugar, salt, baking soda, baking powder, cinnamon, walnuts, and raisins.

Stir until combined. In a separate bowl, mix together the buttermilk, egg, banana, applesauce and molasses. Pour wet ingredients into dry ingredients, stirring until it just barely blended. Batter should be wet and sticky; if needed, splash in a couple extra tablespoons of buttermilk. Scoop 1⁄4 cup helpings into the muffin cups and bake for 16–18 minutes, or until deep golden brown.

(From The Pioneer Woman, thepioneerwoman.com)

May 2015

11

B Tim Collins

A

lifetime ago I worked with an urban recreation department in a decidedly underprivileged part of town. Budgets were tight, but we made up for it with a sense of fun, still unbridled by an increasingly litigious world. It was an environment that made the Adventure Playground possible.

The Adventure Playground wasn’t a playground in any traditional sense. There were no swings, or slides and certainly none of the sanitized, pre-packaged, plastic play structures that serve to destroy imagination in today’s parks. Nope. What we had was a vacant lot where we built a sturdy wooden stockade that was mildly reminiscent of the kind of fort that you used to see in the old westerns.

Into that enclosed stockade—it measured about 50 meters square—we dumped scrap lumber and a variety of other building materials. Then we assembled a big box of hammers, saws, ropes, nails, screws, drills, screwdrivers and other assorted manual tools…and set the children loose.

Oh, we had a supervisor on duty; he even had a first aid kit. But in truth, his main job was to make sure that no one outright killed themselves. He did little or nothing to guide or limit the children’s play. The results were astounding.

Within days of opening the Adventure Playground, the neighbourhood kids had a great start on a kingdom of imagination that was breathtaking in its diversity. Structures clung to the stockade and inexorably grew from single storey shacks to three storey high-rise clubhouses.

12 Island Parent Magazine

kidsinvictoria.com

There were spaceships, pirate ships, castles, forts and a lot of structures that simply defied categorization. The kids built ladders and slides, and all manner of climbing structures filled the space. The kids brought blankets and rags from home to act as makeshift rugs, and curtains and flags were fashioned to proclaim the sovereignty of the kids’ creations.

Oh sure, there were some accidents. Occasionally a structure would collapse amidst howls of laughter and surprise. Thumbs were occasionally hit with hammers and superficial scrapes and bruises were commonplace. But no one was ever seriously hurt and the kids had a blast.

I share this memory to make a point.

Our world has changed, and to my way of thinking, not for the better.

In 2008, for example, a Toronto school district spent $6.3 million to dismantle 170 school playgrounds that were deemed dangerous, replacing them with safe metal

level comes to mind—but others were thrilling and educational. Yes, educational; we learned from the doing. It made us smarter and stronger.

It’s why I suggest that we all just lighten up and let our kids try some things that might hurt them.

The trick is to prepare them for the risks and supervise them if necessary. But more on that later…here are five potentially dangerous things that I suggest that you let your children try.

1. Play with fire. Admit it; people have a primordial fascination with fire. The flames stir our souls and draw us to their flickering heat in a way that transcends any logical explanation. Kids have the same fascination. Yet put a five-year-old and a parent around a campfire and you’re bound to hear near hysterical shouts of “Keep away from the fire!”

Why? Adding wood or paper to a fire and watch-

and-Aids &

Adventure

5 Dangerous Things You Should Let Your Child Do apparatuses. In 2011, a Toronto elementary school banned soccer balls, basketballs, footballs and volleyballs. Across the country, schools have banned cart-wheeling, the “four square” game, tag (tagging is apparently akin to hitting), dodge ball, and a host of other childhood games for fear that someone may be hurt.

No one has even dreamed of recreating the Adventure Playground. But just maybe, this avalanche of unfounded fear has gone too far. Some of my fondest memories of childhood revolve around activities that had a good chance of hurting me. Some were stupid—nailing the carefully aimed hose to the roof of our house so that it could better spray passers-by when turned on at street IslandParent.ca

ing it spark into flame is fascinating and teaches kids about the power that fire can have. Roasting a marshmallow or hotdogs is educational in more ways than I have time to list. Even poking at an established fire with a stick can teach your child about the nature of this elemental force.

So take a breath and let them try.

Of course you need to supervise them so that they don’t try to grab the burning end of sticks with their hands, but otherwise let them explore the fire and soon that supervision won’t even be required (kids aren’t stupid after all).

2. Own a pocket knife. I recall that by the time I was five, every boy in the neighbourhood had a pocket knife (we were more

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May 2015 13

sexist in 1960). We cut small branches to create makeshift bows and arrows, we carved wood, we cut string, and to the best of my recollection, no one ever lost a digit.

Of course we cut ourselves occasionally, but we healed, and the next time we were more careful. A side benefit was that we learned how to apply Band-Aids with the kind of manual dexterity usually reserved for magicians.

I recall that my father gave me one lesson on how to use a knife. He told me to keep the blade sharp and even showed me how to use a whetting stone to maintain the blade’s edge. He advised me to never force a blade, and to always cut away from myself.

Finally, he told me that if I ever cut anyone else, or destroyed anything of value with my knife I would regret it (in those days the consequences involved corporal punishment) and my knife would be taken away “until I wasn’t too stupid to have one.”

It was the only instruction I ever needed.

So give your child a small pocket knife, provide a little instruction, and then leave them be. You may be amazed how that small tool will open a world of imagination and empowerment. In the end, the inevitable small cuts are worth it.

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3. Let them cook. According to a recent survey, over half of high school students have no idea of how to make mac and cheese.

In 2013, a Daily Mail survey reported that half couldn’t boil an egg.

As my family was not wealthy and both my parents had to work, I was cooking my own meals by the time I was seven.

Recently, in an effort to carry on the tradition, I bought a special “kid safe” knife for my five-year-old granddaughter so that she could learn to cut food items as I taught her some early cooking skills. It was an exercise in frustration. This “safe” knife was only safe by virtue of having the same keen edge as you’d find on a party balloon.

I tossed the useless utensil and instead helped my granddaughter learn to cut with one of our very sharp paring knives. Her interest rebounded, and to date she still has all of her fingers. She can now prepare raw veggies like a pro.

I also taught her how to make a grilled cheese sandwich, boil eggs, and how to mix up pancake batter and fry that batter to a golden brown. (She also likes decorating the pancakes with fruit, whipping cream and bacon to make funny faces.).

To date, we’ve had one small burn on a finger when she grasped the frying pan

handle a bit low, but it wasn’t serious and didn’t dampen her enthusiasm at all. And, oh yeah, her pancakes are pretty funny.

4. Climb a tree. Recently, Susan Herrington, a professor at the University of British Columbia’s School of Architecture published research that showed that today’s playground structures have eliminated risky play, and that the results aren’t all positive. “[The children] just go from one thing to the next, and nothing seems to engage them,” said Harrington.

It’s a phenomenon that I have been commenting on for years. Today’s playgrounds are so safe that the imagination has been drummed right out of the experience.

But that will never be true of trees. Trees have engaged children’s imaginations forever. When they climb trees, children will learn which branches can be reached, which will hold their weight without that stomach-churning sag. They’ll learn which branches are covered with sticky sap or infested with ants, and which branches have leaves to hide you from friends below. They will experience the texture and strength of a great living thing and, in the process, maybe they’ll learn to appreciate the wonders of the natural world just a little bit more.

Trees will raise your child above the

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world and provide them with a whole new perspective. That climb will teach your child how high they can climb, and when their self limiting sense of self preservation tells them it’s time to go no higher they will stop—until the day comes that they can go higher.

5. Use tools and build something. The real lesson of the Adventure Playground was that kids love the creative process. Mix that process with big, tactile objects and grown up tools and, well, it doesn’t get any better.

There is, after all, a certain magic in banging a nail to fasten two pieces of wood together. Bang a few more, and you can have a go-cart, a kite, a fort—the possibilities are endless. Once a child learns that it’s possible to take raw materials and create something else, the world is open to them, providing an experience that pre-packaged toys can’t even come close to duplicating.

Of course a little instruction is required.

Hammers are pretty straightforward, as are nails. Screws and screwdrivers are a little tougher (I still can’t tell you which is a Robertson-head and which is a Phillips).

Saws are a real challenge, but it’s worth it.

Now, I’m not advocating the use of power tools for little children. Even grandfathers stop short of being foolhardy. But if you check out yard sales, you might be able to pick up some pretty neat manual drills, saws, chisels and more. Put them in a wooden box and give them and some wood and other raw materials to your child.

Then give them a bit of guidance, and set them loose. They may well bang thumbs and the odd cut is inevitable, but in the end, they will amaze you. More importantly—they will amaze themselves.

And a few more... The fact is that I could list dozens of other examples of mildly dangerous things every child should try. Playing outside in a big storm, lighting a firecracker, shooting a bow and arrow, making a raft and setting out on a watery adventure, playing hide-and-seek after dark, climbing a big rock—all of these activities and more have the potential to teach your child about the world in a way that the approved list of childhood activities never will.

In a world where risk has been removed from play, children can’t and don’t learn about personal limitations or the world around them. They fail to pick up the skills and knowledge that play once granted them.

So let them try things, folks. And have a few Band-Aids on hand.

Tim Collins is a writer and freelance journalist living and working in Victoria.

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Loving Your Ex for Your Kids’ Sake M

ost people know of a couple who’ve experienced an amicable break up. You know, the duo that divorced and remained on great terms. They divided everything equally, even the children, and no one lost their shirt to the lawyers. They even continued to live just down the road from each other. For every one of those stories there are 10 polar opposites. Let’s face it, if most of us got along and respected each other to that level, we probably wouldn’t have ended up divorced in the first place.

At least that’s true in my case.

Within a month of my separation, my pending divorce took on a life of its own and dragged my children and me down with it. We were struggling to adapt and accept this major life change and the heartbreak that went with it was unbearable. My ex and I barely spoke to each other and when we did, it was typically to say things that we’d normally be embarrassed to admit we had said. We had become each other’s worst enemies, fighting about everything from support payments to the agreed upon pick up time for the kids. The word “hate” seemed to grace every conversation to and about each other.

This continued for almost two years, until my daughter asked me a question that brought me more pain than his leaving ever did. The question: “When did you stop loving Daddy?” I saw a pain in her eyes that mirrored my own and realized that it wasn’t the separation that was devastating our children. It was the knowledge that their parents no longer loved each other.

That was the moment I decided to love my ex again, even if he didn’t love me. kidsinvictoria.com

It wasn’t an easy process to begin, this loving the ex thing. A lot had happened over time that had changed my perception of who he was as a person. I didn’t like this person. He was someone different. I wasn’t in love with this ‘new guy’. So I decided to start there.

What if I gave myself permission to love him, simply because, at one time I loved him? How about loving him because I see him in my children, just as easily as I see myself? My son carries himself like his dad, my daughter has his mesmerizing blue eyes and my other little one has his superior problem-solving skills. When I love him for them, I am honouring him as their father, but mostly I am honouring them. I chose to love them more than I thought I hated him.

The reality is that we’re not just bound until our last child’s eighteenth birthday.

Our legacy will keep us entwined forever.

Graduations, marriages and grandchildren.

I would sooner look down the pew at my child’s wedding and give him a wink, or better yet be sitting next to him, than wishing I had kids with someone else. This is what my children would want. Our spouses may continue to change throughout our lives, but ‘we’ are a guaranteed thing.

Loving my ex doesn’t mean that I do what he wants in order to keep the peace. It means I try to conduct myself in a respectful manner. I speak to him and of him in an honest way that is not meant to hurt him or our children. After a while I was able to see the good in him again. I was able to speak to my kids about his great qualities—the same ones that had made me fall in love him in the first place.

This isn’t a quick fix to a bad situation and takes living with intention every single day. Not all days are successful. It didn’t change everything, but it did decrease the negativity we were living with and it allowed my children to stop grieving. I gained an inner peace that I never thought I’d experience and my children feel it. For that I’m grateful. I’m now able to separate who he is from what he’s doing. Who he is is part of who my children are and for that I love him.

Shannon K. Auringer is a resilient divorcee and single parent residing in Victoria with her three kids, nephew and dog. Life is messy and she enjoys living to write about it. More of her work can be found at skauringer. com or follow her on twitter @skauringer.

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18 Island Parent Magazine

Inviting the Teacher to Tea Easing the transition from home to school

M

y third child started kindergarten last fall. Until then, she had stayed at home with me so I knew that being apart for longer than usual would require some adjustment.

Overall however, I had expected the change to be an uneventful one. In comparison to my two oldest children, my third always seemed the most sure of herself, confident in her intuition and evaluation, happy to do her own thing, and persistent in her sense of right and wrong.

“She is my most securely attached,” I would often remark to my husband. Curiously I wondered if it was a reflection of her birth order. A middle child born into a busy family between two older siblings and one younger, she had to go with the flow and learn quickly along the way, while at the same time grow the assertiveness to stand her ground. As an affectionate child, she fastened onto her father and to other close friends and family members easily and early on. Perhaps it was an astute survival strategy that meant not having to compete against three other children for my attention.

Whatever the reason, she seemed emotionally well connected within the “village.”

The first day of school was difficult. My daughter and I hid our feelings of apprehension and loss behind forced smiles, focusing on her new Hello Kitty knapsack in hopes that it would prove to be a wellspring of joy and excitement. As we entered the kindergarten class amidst the bustle of other families, she slowly began to wane. She buried her head against my coat, sneaking only sideways glances to assess her new environment. I had expected this type of response. My daughter was an introverted child in public, always waiting cautiously to both receive and offer acceptance. Her teacher and I exchanged warm courtesies in

an old familiar tone. It seemed like déju vu with a bittersweet recognition of the passage of time—the same classroom, same teacher, different child. My third knew the routines well. With my two oldest children, she and I had spent many mornings sitting watching quietly at the back of the kindergarten classroom. The greetings, the songs and “show and tell” time—at least those parts would not be new. As for her teacher, I was thrilled to see her. She was an enthusiastic caregiver with a strong command of her classroom, who encouraged play and curiosity while embracing firm and clear boundaries. She and my daughter shared a common love of singing, music and languages. They would be a perfect fit. All of this is to say that I had expected the transition to be better than easy.

With the sound of the bell, the circle time song crescendoed, drowning out the buzz of “I love yous” and “goodbyes” as parents slowly made their way towards the door. I crouched down to look at my daughter and then whispered our special secret into her ear. Her eyes began to well up, though she refused to concede to her tears. She gripped my hand like a Chinese finger trap. Any attempt I made to pull away only tightened her grip. “It will only get easier from here,” I thought as I finally extracted myself from her presence.

In many ways, it did get easier. We got past the “I don’t like school” mornings and my daughter soon became more accustomed to the noise and volume of children encroaching on her space. She knew what needed to happen from her first step through the door and could flow through her day enough to make it into my arms by the end.

Something seemed odd however. My daughter refused to speak or make eye

kidsinvictoria.com

contact with her teacher. It was now more than half way through the school year.

One day, she came home with wet pants.

It had not been the first time. I received an email from her teacher that same evening; “She still won’t speak to me directly other than one word responses so it is hard to help. Thank you for some suggestions with this. I want her to feel comfortable and at ease. How can I get her there?” My daughter felt so uncomfortable engaging with her teacher that even her most basic need, asking to go the washroom, was being affected. At this point, I felt that I could no longer use introversion as the only reason for my daughter’s response or lack thereof.

I feared that the barrier, whatever it was, would eventually begin to have an effect on her ability to learn. “Something needs to change” I sighed to my husband. “Invite Ms. L. over for a visit” was his reply in a very matter of fact and commonsensical manner. My husband was right. I felt envy and foolishness at not having thought of such an astute idea myself.

I wondered how my daughter would react to the idea of having her teacher over for tea. I figured it could go either way. Surprisingly, she responded with a coy nod of her head, then ran immediately to her drawer to find the notecards and stamps that she had received as a Christmas present, the ones reserved only for the special people in her life. In her best writing she wrote, “Dear Ms. L., can you come over for tea next Thursday?” I could tell that she felt chuffed to have her teacher see how well she could write her letters.

With just the suggestion of inviting her teacher into our “village”, things started to change. Over that week leading up to her “date”, my daughter cleaned her room on her own initiative. The bumps on her bed were wrinkled out and her favourite books proudly displayed. She riffled through my ribbons, fabric and tissue paper to wrap up her latest treasure. It was an owl button, the one she had been tenderly carrying and admiring ever since the kind lady at the yarn store had gifted it to her for good behaviour.

Her teacher loved owls. Thoughtfulness and generosity were my daughter’s strength virtues and they were shining out brighter than ever. The little parcel would remain safely under her pillow until the day of the special visit.

Another email from her teacher soon followed, “[She] put her hand up to volunteer an answer today. And eye contact several

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times. Feels good.” It felt good for me as well. Our date with Ms. L was still a couple days away but psychologically, the door had been unlocked and, pushing it ajar, my generous daughter was finally ready to give the most precious gift anyone could hope for: a little piece of her heart.

Dr. Gordon Neufeld’s work on attachment provides an influential filter for my parenting practice. In his book, Hold Onto Your Kids, co-authored by Gabor Maté, Neufeld says: 1. While shyness may manifest itself from the outside, no one is ever shy within the village. It is instinct to oppose the will and/ or feel apprehensive towards those to whom we are not attached.

2. Attachment involves being “invited to exist in someone’s presence.” Eye contact, smiles and nods are signs that the invitation has been offered and/or accepted. Have you received an invitation to enter into the village? If there’s no eye at the peephole, the door cannot be unlocked.

3. Be affirmed not embarrassed if your child clings to your arm and cowers into your side. Shyness is not a shortcoming.

According to Neufeld and Maté, “if we understood attachment, it would not be shyness we would be so concerned about but the lack of shyness of many of today’s children.”

4. Shyness is an indication that attachment is missing and that the context for care and teaching requires further development.

How can you make your “pied-`a-terre” feel more like home?

5. If you find yourself outside the gates of the village, look for a bridge. Seek out the head of the village. The path of least resistance is often through an already wellestablished connection. Get on the right side of the “attachment magnet.” One attachment begets another.

6. If you are the head of the village, remember that a gracious host always makes introductions. Cultivating a connection between your child and the adult involved in their care and teaching is an important way to overcome shyness.

7. Once inside the village, embrace your calling with confidence, knowing that everyone wants to sit beside the special guest at the table.

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Janine Fernandes-Hayden is an educator and Salt Spring Island mom of four children. She is also a trained Virtues Project Facilitator.

May 2015 19

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20 Island Parent Magazine

The Burnside Gorge Community Association offers Parent & Tot drop-in programs throughout the week that are free or lowcost. Drop-ins allow parents to meet other parents while their children play, learn and meet other children. Other Family Centre programs include: Mother Goose, Kindergym, Toddler Art, and a Community Family Dinner. For program days, times and cost, visit burnsidegorge.ca or call 250-388-5251.

The Children’s Treehouse. Nanaimo’s downtown destination for new moms and Grandma’s! Specializing in unique and quality toys for babies through pre-teens.

Extensive selection of well-known character board books and stuffies, specially selected for the imaginative young child. Baby and pre-school toys, science, craft kits, Folkmanis puppets, trains, Playmobil, dolls, puzzles, stickers and art. All guaranteed to keep developing young minds busy. Activity toys for beach, park, camping and bug-catching fun. An in-store play area keeps children busy while parents shop.

Huckleberry Baby Shop is Nanaimo’s natural baby and parenting store. If you are looking for ethical, eco-friendly, and familyfriendly options, we are your source. Cloth diapers, baby carriers, plastic free toys and food containers, local and organic products, consignment clothing sizes NB-16, and Bravado nursing bras: our selection is huge. Our offerings include cloth diaper kits and trial programs plus prenatal classes starting this spring. Watch for our brand new website at huckleberrybabyshop.com.

KinderSpiel provides your family and classroom with sensible, educational and well-made toys, games and children’s activities. Designed for play. Geared for learning.

KinderSpiel offers a beautiful activity area for a downtown playdate, a little rest for the little ones in between running errands, and a chance for parents and grandparents to find out what kind of toy or activity your child is ready for. Choose from a wide variety of European made products for your home schooling projects, classrooms, upcoming birthdays, and other special occasions. Visit us at 1113 Langley Street in Downtown Victoria (underneath Murchie’s Tea & Coffee) or online at kinderspiel.ca.

Maxine Fisher M.Ed., MTA, RCC. Bringing

a new child into the world is an incredible experience. Even positive changes may cause stress. Counselling can assist by offering healthy coping and relaxation skills to deal with the changes that are affecting family relationships. Siblings also benefit by having a safe place to express their feelings around the changes. Counselling can help mothers who may be suffering from postpartum depression. Call Maxine at 250-686-7582 for a ten minute complementary consultation or visit victoriafamilycounselling.com.

Momease Baby Boutique is a unique retailer specializing in innovative and functional baby gear, maternity essentials and parenting accessories. From strollers to swaddles, and car seats to carriers, we’re the little store that’s big on gear. We are also passionate about helping you navigate the road to parenthood and beyond, so whether it’s creating a customized baby registry, or a first outing with a newborn, we love spending time with new or expectant parents to help them discover their own perfect products. Mattick’s Farm #121-5325 Cordova Bay Rd. 778-265-5432. momease.ca Mothering Touch Centre is the comprehensive resource centre for new and expectant parents. We offer support through every stage of pregnancy and early parenthood: childbirth preparation, pre-and post-natal yoga, breastfeeding support, parenting classes, parent-and-baby groups, and baby massage. Our friendly staff inform and support parents and grandparents as they select cloth diapers, nursing bras, breastpumps and breastfeeding accessories and much more.

Drop in for a chat, nurse your baby in our lounge, and experience the warmth of the Mothering Touch. 975 Fort St. 250-5954905. motheringtouch.ca.

Spina Bifida. Something so small can make such a big difference. Folic acid reduces the risk of birth defects such as spina bifida. It is found in some foods, but for most women, eating fortified food is not enough. To reach the recommended daily level you will need a vitamin supplement and it should be taken at least three months before pregnancy. Help protect your baby before it is born by getting enough folic acid daily. sbhabc.org.

Whether it’s diapers or decor, TJ’s The Kiddies Store is the place to go for all your baby

kidsinvictoria.com

needs. Welcoming your new baby into the world is a wonderful and challenging experience; so many decisions and so little time.

Our friendly and knowledgeable staff is ready to help make your decisions as stress-free as possible. Our selection varies from furniture sets to safety items and everything in between.

TJ’s is also a great place for gifts—with a baby registry and many wonderful gift ideas you will be able to find the right thing to make any new parent happy. We’re easy to find at 3045-c Douglas St. (enter off Larch St)… we’re under Sleep Country. 250-386-2229.

Mark your calendars for September 26 and 27, 2015. The 9th annual Vancouver Island Baby Fair is happening at Pearkes Rec Centre. Come visit an arena of exhibitors, a full lineup of main stage presentations, great shopping and resources, fantastic prizes, our popular photo contest, baby races and more for families ranging from pregnancy through preschool. Exhibitor registration is on now.

Go to VancouverIslandBabyFair.com for details or call 250-686-5693.

Victoria Midwives. Midwives care for women throughout pregnancy, birth and for six weeks postpartum. Midwives offer personalized care and provide education and counselling that address the physical, emotional, and cultural needs of women and their families. Midwives offer a choice of birthplace either in hospital, or at home.

Midwives provide breastfeeding support, ensure the mother is recovering from the birth, and monitor the baby’s growth. Midwifery care is covered by your care card. See our ad on page 4. midwivesinvictoria.ca.

The Vitamin Shop. New and expecting moms need to know that diet is most important. Unfortunately, food is not what it used to be, therefore it is also important to take a good multiple supplement along with other nutrients to assure that both baby and mom receive the right nourishment along the way. Find the most comprehensive selection of everything you need for your pre- and post-natal “good health” at The Vitamin Shop, 1212 Broad St. Phone 250-386-1212.

West Shore Parks & Recreation offers a wide range of programs for young families and expectant parents. Our Toddler Social program is the perfect informal drop-in for you and your little one to explore music, activities and more. There are stroller fitness classes and pre-natal yoga, but if you are just looking to sneak in a workout, we offer child minding Monday-Friday 9am-12:30pm. For information, visit westshorerecreation.ca or call 250-478-8383. Find us on Facebook at facebook.com/westshorerecreation.•

IslandParent.ca

Falcon

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Parent & Tot Gym Bugs School Age Recreational 18 mos – 3 yrs 31⁄2 – 5 yrs 51⁄2 – 14 yrs Half Days morning or afternoon camps, Full Day camps. For more information log on to our website at www.falcongymnastics.com We also have: • The best gymnastics and most affordable classes.

• The best Birthday Parties in town.

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Private tutoring Small classes Summer programs

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Math Teacher 1 3 Y E A R S I N T H E C O W I C H A N VA L L E Y

Angela Voll B. Sc. (Hons.) in Mathematics

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angela.voll@gmail.com

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It’s swimming combined with music, dance, gymnastics & drama!

May 2015 21

Books for the Maternally Inclined Thanks to our intrepid band of reviewer mamas—Serena Beck, Carol Henderson, Camille McFarlane, Jennifer Roberts-Hall, Christina Van Starkenburg and Jane Vermeulen—who sought a quiet couple of minutes/hours here and there to tirelessly, uh, okay, gleefully read, and sometimes re-read, the following assortment of motherhood books.

Raising Financially Fit Kids by Joline Godfrey As a parent of a toddler, I have discovered that I like my books in the same style as my son’s books: large print, big pictures and lots of colour. Although I was initially apprehensive to use my limited quiet time to read a book titled Raising Financially Fit Kids, I quickly discovered that it was an easy and enjoyable read. The book, written by Joline Godfrey, was originally published in 2003 and was then revised in 2013 to reflect our changing global economy. The book’s purpose is to provide an applicable means for parents to prepare their child, at any age, to become a financially stable adult.

And it was done with large print, pictures, and lots of colour!

The book is divided into different ages, starting at five years old and ending when your child is an independent and contributing adult. Each section begins with a chart to describe a child’s emotional state as well as the financial goals that families should master at that stage. There is a flip-out table for each stage that provides a quick summary of the section and the book ends with a chapter on Frequently Asked Questions if you are faced with a financial dilemma.

The chapters are short, provide relatable scenarios, and can be used at anytime throughout your child’s life.

My only criticisms of the book were the references to the American banking system and the lack of information on electronic banking. Fortunately, the guidelines are universal and as a Canadian, I still found the book relevant. This book will remain on my bookshelf for many years to come and I think it will help our entire family become financially fit. JV The Autism Revolution: Whole Body Strategies for Making Life All It Can Be by Martha Herbert, MD, PhD As a mother of two young boys on the

autism spectrum, I was very interested to read The Autism Revolution. But, as it is with most books in this genre, I didn’t read the book from beginning to last page.

It is a bit dry and filled with information that doesn’t pertain to my family (if you’ve met one person with autism, you’ve met ONE). That being said, the author knows her stuff and the book is written in such a way that you can easily find any hidden gems. Her information is well-researched and thorough. I especially found the picky eater section helpful. My youngest eats 10 foods in total—none of them vegetables—so the struggle is real. There are sample data sheets—handy!—acknowledgements, notes and an easy index to help find the info relevant to your family. Overall, an informative book that is worth the read. JRH

Back to Normal: Why Ordinary Childhood Behaviour is Mistaken for ADHD, Bipolar Disorder and Autism Spectrum Disorder by Enrico Gnaulati, PhD Enrico Gnaulati wrote Back to Normal “to give parents of struggling children hope, perspective and direction.” In it he discusses why and how children, specifically young boys, are often misdiagnosed as having ADHD, bipolar disorder or autism spectrum disorder. He does this by first talking about problems within the medical field and schools and then by going through the disorders’ symptoms and explaining how these symptoms can be, and often are, normal reactions to childhood stressors.

Because the book is jam-packed with research, it’s quite dense. However, Gnaulati peppers the book with stories about children and teens he’s worked with—these stories help humanize the different symptoms, studies, and situations and to make his point more understandable.

Like Gnaulati claims, Back to Normal is helpful to parents who are concerned about their child’s mental growth or state, kidsinvictoria.com

because the book will help them to better understand their child. Finally, for parents who are simply looking for practical advice, the last chapter is full of it. From things like not hovering or attending every single practice, to making time for yourself and pursuing your own hobbies. CVS

Drunk Mom by Jowita Bydlowska After three years of abstinence, Jowita Bydlowska celebrates the birth of her son by drinking alcohol. She tells herself that it is a special occasion to mark his arrival, it also marks her entry back into the dark world of alcoholism. Drunk Mom is a brutally honest story of a young mother’s desperation to keep her addictions secret.

These addictions are a combination of cocaine and alcohol, however, she prefers to drink. She prefers drinking to anything in the world: sex, food, sleep, her child, her lover, anything. She tells herself that she doesn’t really drink that much—not any more. But she does. When her baby is just four weeks old, she buys alcohol and hides it in the stroller next to her son.

From the moment I opened this book I could not put it down. I was drawn into the writer’s mind as well as her life with drugs and alcohol. I felt empathy for this

expect a killer whale to play with a baby seal in the surf. She describes her daughter being reunited with her old Sophie the giraffe toy as “lost lovers running toward each other in a field…”

My only complaint is that the book could have fewer profanities. In most cases, they added to the humour, but sometimes they detracted too.

I’ll keep Alpert’s stories in mind when the going gets tough—a full-on tantrum in Aisle 2, or changing diapers on an airplane.

This way I can smile on the inside while I am sweating on the outside because my son is having a tantrum. SB

young mom, struggling to raise her baby, maintain a relationship and trying to hide her addiction, which she denies is a problem.

However, she is a very industrious woman who firmly believes that she will be okay. CH

I Heart My Little A-Holes by Karen Alpert I left my copy of I Heart My Little AHoles within reach of my son and before I knew it, he got a hold of a pink highlighter and added his own scribbles to the official ones that are printed on the cover. I had to laugh. And thankfully, that’s just what Alpert’s book will make you do. She does an amazing job transcribing her brutally honest parenting thoughts into a hilarious book. Each chapter reads like a blog post, which makes sense because she runs a blog called Baby Sideburns.

Reading Alpert’s book, I often felt relieved and found myself thinking “Yes! My kids have done that.” And I found myself nodding along to her list “You know you’re a mom if…” Things like: you find food or other items in your bra, and you blow your nose in the only available item—dirty laundry.

Another great list in the book describes what it is like to go from having one kid to two. Alpert describes the oldest child playing with the youngest as gently as you would

K-10 Distributed Learning

How to Expect What You’re not Expecting edited by Jessica Hiemstra and Lisa Martin-Demoor It is not often that I pick up a parenting book and am entranced by the writing, but this collection of essays is one to read for the prose. Although the essays are “stories of pregnancy, parenthood, and loss” there is a lot of hope radiating from the pages. This is not a how-to book, rather the authors, both male and female, invite readers to share in their grief and experiences of loss, while also looking for the joy in parenthood. CM

Hands-On Home-Learning for a Sustainable World - Special Education program available - unique hands-on learning activities

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Call Today for a Complimentary 10 minute phone consultation Call 250-686-7582 maxinefisher@shaw.ca victoriafamilycounselling.com IslandParent.ca

May 2015 23

Party Directory

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(250) 386-JUMP (5867) www.par-t-perfect.com • Indoor facility options for all your bouncy castle and inflatable requirements • School fairs/festivals and picnics • At home/indoor theme parties, i.e. Teddy Bear stuffing, craft parties • Free gift for birthday child when you mention this ad • Costumed facepainters and balloon twisters, i.e. princesses, pirates, ragdoll style clowns • Follow us on Facebook and Twitter

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Dirt Bike Birthday Parties We supply everything: Bike • Gear • Riding Lesson for ages 6yrs to adults over 30 bikes to choose from

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Party Directory Funtime Inflatables Vancouver Island’s #1 choice for party rentals

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:: Gym & Bouncy Castle, themed parties: creative kids, girl power and preschool parties from Princesses to Pirates! at Henderson Recreation Centre!

Call 250-370-7200

Pool, Skate, or Soccer parties at Oak Bay Recreation Centre!

Call 250-595-SWIM (7946)

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Foam landing pit and 40' long trampoline

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250-380-2442 May 2015 25

Attention Non-Profit Organizations Would you like your informational brochures or magazines professionally distributed to 16 high traffic areas in Greater Victoria?

What Teens Are Reading W

hat book made the Top 10 list of most high school-aged students this year?

If you guessed The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins you wouldn’t be wrong. But one that’s snuck up the list and crept past Collins’ wildly popular novel, according to educational software company Renaissance Learning, is Divergent by Veronica Roth.

The findings, based on a database that tracked the independent reading habits of nearly 10 million students, show a reading range from the predictable to the surprising.

Here are the Top 10 choice of readers in Grade 7 through 12:

Victoria Community Information Services (VCIS), an Island Parent Group subsidiary, services these locations on a weekly basis to ensure your brochures and magazines are highly visible for pickup by walk-by traffic.

Our wall-mounted distribution boards are outside partnering grocery stores and inside many recreation centres.

Space is available for either brochures (approx. 4" x 9") or magazines (approx. 8.5" x 11").

For distribution rates or additional information, please contact: Mark Warner

publisher@islandparent.ca 250-388-6905

26 Island Parent Magazine

Grade 7: 1. Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Hard Luck, by Jeff Kinney 2. The Outsiders, by S.E. Hinton 3. Divergent, by Veronica Roth 4. The Giver, by Lois Lowry 5. The Hunger Games, by Suzanne Collins 6. The Fault in Our Stars, by John Green 7. Catching Fire, Suzanne Collins 8. Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Third Wheel,

by Jeff Kinney 9. Insurgent, by Veronica Roth 10. Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Cabin Fever, Jeff Kinney

Grade 8: 1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

The Outsiders, by S.E. Hinton Divergent, by Veronica Roth The Giver, by Lois Lowry The Fault in Our Stars, by John Green The Hunger Games, by Suzanne Collins Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Hard Luck, by Jeff Kinney 7. Insurgent, by Veronica Roth 8. Catching Fire, by Suzanne Collins kidsinvictoria.com

9. Tell-Tale Heart, Edgar Allan Poe 10. The Diary of Anne Frank & Related Readings, by Frances Goodrich

Register Today!

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July and August Summer Sleepover & Day Camps

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

Divergent, by Veronica Roth The Fault in Our Stars, by John Green The Hunger Games, by Suzanne Collins To Kill a Mockingbird, by Harper Lee Of Mice and Men, by John Steinbeck Romeo and Juliet, by William Shakespeare 7. Catching Fire, by Suzanne Collins 8. The Most Dangerous Game, by Richard Connell 9. Night, by Elie Wiesel 10. Insurgent, by Veronica Roth

CampPringle.com • 250-743-2189 • registrar@camppringle.com

Grade 10: 1. Divergent, by Veronica Roth 2. Night, by Elie Wiesel 3. The Fault in Our Stars, by John Green 4. The Hunger Games, by Suzanne Collins 5. Of Mice and Men, by John Steinbeck 6. To Kill a Mockingbird, by Harper Lee 7. Insurgent, by Veronica Roth 8. Julius Caesar, by William Shakespeare 9. Catching Fire, by Suzanne Collins 10. Animal Farm, by George Orwell

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Grade 11: 1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

The Crucible, by Arthur Miller The Great Gatsby, by F. Scott Fitzgerald Divergent, by Veronica Roth Of Mice and Men, by John Steinbeck The Fault in Our Stars, by John Green The Hunger Games, by Suzanne Collins Catching Fire, by Suzanne Collins Insurgent, by Veronica Roth The Scarlet Letter (unabridged), by Nathaniel Hawthorne 10. Mockingjay, by Suzanne Collins

Grade 12: 1. Divergent, by Veronica Roth 2. Frankenstein (unabridged), by Mary Shelley 3. The Hunger Games, by Suzanne Collins 4. Macbeth, by William Shakespeare 5. The Fault in Our Stars, by John Green 6. Catching Fire, by Suzanne Collins 7. Insurgent, by Veronica Roth 8. Animal Farm, by George Orwell 9. Mockingjay, by Suzanne Collins 10. The Great Gatsby, by F. Scott Fitzgerald For a full list of top picks and for more information on the findings, please visit doc.renlearn.com/KMNet/R004101202GH426A. pdf.

IslandParent.ca

COME SEE WHY LEARNING IN NATURE ROCKS! Ages 3–5 "Tell me and I'll forget, show me and I may remember, involve me and I'll understand" Chinese Proverb Reggio Influenced Philosophy Child Led Learning Registrations Now Being Taken for Limited Spaces

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www.naturejuniorkindergarten.com May 2015

27

May 2015

Generously Sponsored by and

Family Calendar For calendar updates throughout the month visit kidsinvictoria.com FRI 1 Lego at the Library at Juan de Fuca Branch Library. Listen to stories and have fun with the library’s Lego. Bring your own Lego for a takehome project. For ages 7-10. 2:30-3:30pm.

Register at gvpl.ca or call 250-940-GVPL (4875) for more information.

SAT 2 Free Comic Day at Central Branch Library.

Drop in to get your free comic and more.

Dress up as your favourite character, enter to win awesome stuff, and check out the library’s selection of comics, manga and graphic novels.

A free comic for everyone, or two if you dress up (while supplies last). Everyone welcome.

9am-noon. Registration not required.

Birds of Witty’s at Witty’s Lagoon Regional Park. For the novice and intermediate birder, join CRD guest naturalist Geoffrey Newell for a glimpse of some of the birds at Witty’s Lagoon. Bird watching is one of the fastest growing hobbies in North America. Bring binoculars if you have them. Meet at the Witty’s Lagoon Nature Centre off Metchosin Rd at 9am. 9+ years. BC Transit #54 or #55.

250-478-3344. crd.bc.ca/parks.

Star Wars Day at Sidney/North Saanich Branch Library. Calling all young padawans, Jedi Knights and Star Wars fans for a Star Wars celebration. Meet “real” Storm Troopers and other Star Wars characters, play games, and have your photo taken. Door prizes. All ages welcome. 11am-noon. 250-656-0944.

28 Island Parent Magazine

Family Sports & Recreation Centre at Pacific Institute for Sport Excellence. Your pre-summer destination for kids to have an afternoon of active fun, and for parents to discover new options for keeping kids engaged in healthy activities. 11am-3pm. 4371 Interurban Rd.

SAT 2 & SUN 3 Fairfield Artists Studio Tour in Fairfield. Come for the annual self-guided tour that provides art lovers with an opportunity to meet local artists, tour their studios, and view their work while exploring the beautiful neighbourhood of Fairfield. Free. 11am-4pm. Visit fairfieldartistsstudiotour.com/map.htm for a map to plan your route.

Family Theatre Festival at the Metro Studio Theatre. Four of the city’s most dynamic theatre companies take to the mainstage for an exciting festival for the whole family. 250- 383-8124. kaleidoscope.bc.ca.

SUN 3 Ruckle Heritage Farm Day at Ruckle Heritage Farm, Salt Spring Island. Geared towards children with educational farm related themes.

Educational booths demonstrating crafts such as spinning and weaving, basket making, fruit grafting and more. 4-H animals on display, baked goods, BBQ, face painting, old and new fire trucks and tractors. Live music. Free.

10am-3pm. 1801 Beaver Point Rd. Camas Day in Uplands Park. Bring a picnic, listen to the Bald Eagles Band, and enjoy the

displays. Participate in a Friends of Uplands Park Native Plant Garden Tour in the endangered Garry Oak ecosystem. Be inspired by the blue Camas fields, other wildflowers, and some of the 21 rare plant species. Learn about the importance of vernal pools and what we are doing to protect them. Ask about the growing conditions of native plants so you can incorporate them into your garden, and take a native plant home. Donations appreciated.

1-4pm. Beach Drive at the new Uplands Park sign. 250-595-8084.

Embrace the Night and Wildflowers at Cattle Point. Join organizer Ron Carter, of the Friends of Uplands Park, at Cattle Point to watch the moon rise. Meander through the fields of blue Camas and other wildflowers and then walk over to the Kiwanis Café on Willows Beach for a nighttime cuppa and relaxing chat with your neighbours. Free. 7pm. 250-595-8084.

MON 4 Origami Yoda Book Club for Tweens at Nellie McClung Branch Library. Ever wished you could join the Origami Rebel Alliance…even for just an hour? Then come to the library for a special book club inspired by the Origami Yoda series you must. Talk about the books, do a bit of origami, and more. For ages 1012. 3:30-4:30pm. Register at gvpl.ca or call 250-940-GVPL (4875) for more information.

TUES 5 Hits from the Brits at St. Aidan’s United

kidsinvictoria.com

Church. The renowned Crystal Singers, an all-female choir under the direction of Laurie Walker, will delight you with choral pieces from Great Britain featuring music from the 1800s all the way to the Beatles and Elton John.

The rich mix of songs will entertain you and put a smile on your face. And there will be a surprise guest musician. 7:30pm. $15 (children 10 and under are free). 3703 St. Aidan’s Rd. crystalsingers.ca or call 250-479-4886.

THURS 7 Mom’s the Word at Emily Carr Branch Library.

Celebrate Mother’s Day with lively and lovely stories and songs about M-O-M. For young children and their families; this program will occur before regular opening hours, and all children must be accompanied by an adult.

9:30-10am. Register at gvpl.ca or call 250940-GVPL (4875) for more information.

Asian Heritage Month: Kamishibai 4 Kids at Oak Bay Branch Library. Join author Rebecca Kool to learn about her life in Japan and enjoy a Kamishibai theatre performance of her book Fly Catcher Boy. Kamishibai (paper theatre) is a traditional Japanese table-top theatre for storytelling with one or two performers. For Grades 2-4 and home learners of equivalent age. 10:30-11:30am. Register at gvpl.ca or call 250-940-GVPL (4875) for more information.

FRI 8 Sensory Storytime at Nellie McClung Branch Library. During this program, preschoolers will discover storytime fun and routine through a sensory-rich mix of songs, movement, a story, and a special book-related activity. Fun for all children, and appropriate for preschoolers with autism or sensory processing issues. Parents or caregivers are required to participate. For ages 3-5. 10:30-11:15am. Register at gvpl.ca or call 250-940- GVPL (4875) for more information.

SAT 9 International Migratory Bird Day at Elk/Beaver Lake Regional Park. Celebrate the return of our feathered friends. Join CRD Regional Parks, Rocky Point Bird Observatory, and

IslandParent.ca

the Victoria Natural History Society to learn more about the journey that birds take from their summer and winter homes. There are activities for birders of all ages, expertise and abilities. Meet at the tents adjacent to the Beaver Lake Nature Centre off Beaver Lake Road. 9am-1pm drop in. All ages. BC Transit #70 or #72. 250-478-3344. crd.bc.ca/parks.

Quadra Village Day on Kings Road. Begin with a pancake breakfast at 9:30am. Musical performances from 9:30am-1pm. Children’s activity zone with bouncy castles, inflatables, and old-fashioned carnival games. 9:30am-1pm.

Free. Kings Rd between Quadra and Dowler. quadravillagecc.com/quadra-village-day.

What Have You Seine Today? at Witty’s Lagoon Regional Park. Join CRD Regional Parks naturalists to use a seine net and see what creatures live in the deeper reaches of the ocean. Be prepared to get your feet wet (bring sandals or beach shoes). Meet on the main beach. Park in the main parking lot off Metchosin Rd and follow the 20-minute forest trails to the beach. 1-2:30pm. 5+ years.

BC Transit #54 or #55. 250-478-3344. crd.bc.ca/parks.

SUN 10 Saanich Mother’s Day Concert at Playfair Park.

The Reynolds High School Orchestra plays favourites against a backdrop of beautiful rhododendrons. Bring your lawn chair and enjoy the free open-air concert. BC Transit #6. 11am-2pm.

Enchanted Forest Festival at Coast Collective Art Centre. Explorer the enhanted forest and search for magical fairies, friendly dragons, elves and toadstools. From 2-4pm, Fairies, Fantasy and Folk Takes will host a meet-the-artist reception where you can engage your family with local storytellers. Wander the convenient trail that connects the Coast Collective and the Havenwood Estate with the picturesque campus of Royal Roads University, where you can enjoy the Mother’s Day Pain-in and Craft Fair. Noon-4pm. 250-391-5522. 3221 Heatherbell Rd.

TM

MON 11 Baby Chat at Central Branch Library. Stay after drop-in Baby Time to learn about baby care and other child development topics from Island Health practitioners. For babies 0-15 months and parents or caregivers. 11-11:30am.

No registration required.

TUES 12 Little Lego at the Library at Juan de Fuca Branch Library. Listen to stories and have fun with the library’s Lego. Bring your own Lego for a take-home project. Parents are encouraged to attend. For ages 4-6. 3:30-4:30pm.

Register at gvpl.ca or call 250-940-GVPL (4875) for more information.

SAT 16 Ugh! A Slug! at Elk/Beaver Lake Regional Park. Stroll along with a CRD Regional Parks naturalist to peek under fallen logs and leaves in search of the giant gastropod that is one of nature’s best recyclers. Meet at the Beaver Lake Nature Centre off the main parking lot at 1pm. All ages. BC Transit #70 or #72. 250478-3344. crd.bc.ca/parks.

MON 18 Stories on Fern Street. The Victoria Storytellers Guild welcomes you to hear and tell stories.

For people who love to tell stories, for people who love to listen, for people of all ages. Tea and goodies. Doors open at 7:15pm, stories

May 2015 29

S U M M E R DAY CA M P S TECHNOLOGY

Lux Mundi Summer Program Every day is a new adventure!

Jun 22 – Aug 28 7:30am – 6:00pm

Contact us to find out more.

Suitable for ages 5 – 10

Suitable for ages 9 - 12

See website for schedule and details

Christ Church Cathedral Schoo l 912 Vancouver Street | 250 - 383 - 512 5

www.cathedralschool.c a

start at 7:30pm. 1831 Fern St (park on Begbie). $5; $3/students. victoriastorytellers.org.

250-477-7044.

TUES 19 Story Buddies: Tween Volunteers at Saanich Centennial Branch Library. If you like working with children, enjoy stories, are a fluent English speaker and want to help young children with early literacy skills, the library needs you. Story Buddies tween volunteers pair with young children aged 4-6 to make an original story book. The library provides the training, and upon completion, a letter outlining your volunteer hours. First time volunteers, please complete the Tween Volunteer Referral Form and register for a Story Buddies Training Session. For ages 10-12. 2:15-3:30pm. Register at gvpl.ca or call 250-940-GVPL (4875) for more information.

Fri 22 – sat 23 Parks Canada BioBlitz. What will YOU discover? Parks Canada and the Royal BC Museum need your help to find as many plants and animals as possible at Fort Rodd Hill. parkscanda.gc.ca/fortroddhill or 250478-5849. growing, learning, playing - together

PARENT PARTICIPATION - SINCE 1954 CREATIVE, ENCOURAGING, SUPPORTIVE OUTDOOR CLASSROOM - TRAINED ECE’S SPACES AVAILABLE FOR THIS TERM - AGES 3-5

250-370-5392 / lansdownepreschool.com

SAT 23 Family Fun Walk & Family Fun Day at Swan Lake Nature House. Come between 11amnoon for a guided walk by the naturalists, around Swan Lake to celebrate their 40th birthday and discover the beauty of our urban sanctuary. The walk is free, but you must pre-register by calling 250-479-0211 as there is maximum number of participants.

From noon-4pm, join in the family activities including a photo booth, costumes, mascots, music, entertainment, and food by donation.

Pre-registration required by calling 250-4790211. 3873 Swan Lake Rd. Sandy Shore Explore at Witty’s Lagoon Regional Park. Join a CRD naturalist for an intertidal exploration and discover the strange and wonderful creatures that appear between the tides. Be prepared to get your feet wet (bring sandals or beach shoes). Meet on the main beach. Park in the main parking lot off Metchosin Rd and follow the 20-minute forest trail to the beach. 12:30-2pm. All ages. BC Transit #54 or #55. 250-478-3344. crd.bc.ca/parks.

SUN 24 The Best Nest at Francis/King Regional Park.

Spring is here and birds are busy. Bring your little ones and join a CRD Regional Parks naturalist to discover nests and look for homes of hummingbirds, robins and more. Children will experience life as a small bird through story time, a forest ramble, and a nest craft

30 Island Parent Magazine

kidsinvictoria.com

to take home. 7 years and under. 1-2:30pm.

250-478-3344. crd.bc.ca/parks.

Family Sunday at the Art Gallery of Greater Victoria. Come for an afternoon of energetic art making for the whole family. 2-4pm. 1040 Moss St. 250-384-4171. aggv.ca.

SUN 31 Bee Day at Swan Lake Nature House. A honey of a program fit for the royalty of the insect world. What’s the buzz about bees—are they really good dancers? Bee songs, bee crafts, and some bee spit to taste. Join us and you’ll be amazed, bee enchanted and bee happy. Bee there or bee square. Noon-3pm. 3873 Swan Lake Rd. 250-479-0211. swanlake.bc.ca.

Confident girls.

Inspiring women.

Mystery Creature at Coles Bay Regional Park.

Solve the riddles to find the clues hidden along the trail with a CRD Regional Parks naturalist.

Then piece the puzzle together to discover who the mystery creature is. Meet at the information kiosk in the parking lot off Inverness Rd at 1pm. 5+ years. 250-478-3344. crd.bc.ca/parks.

•

Leaders in Early Childhood Education

•

Nature-based curriculum with focus on STEM* learning

•

Empowering girls’ leadership program

•

Small school benefits: safe, supportive, high engagement

•

Continuity in education from Junior Kindergarten to Grade 12

ONGOING BABIES, TODDLERS & PRESCHOOL Drop-in Storytimes for Babies, Toddlers, Preschoolers & Families at the Greater Victoria Public Library. Caregivers are welcome and encouraged to participate. Storytimes are free and drop-in. Please come early to find a space.

For a complete schedule of drop-in programs, visit gvpl.ca or call 250-940-GVPL (4875) for more information.

Tinseltots Parent Babe Movie Matinees at the Odeon Theatre. Relax and don’t worry if your baby cries. Seat your baby on your lap or in a carseat on the seat beside you. Lowered volume for babies’ tender ears. Stroller parking in the theatre. Recommended for children under one year. Once a month on a Monday at 1pm. $5/ grownup. Subscribe to tinseltots@shaw.ca for information on date and movie to be shown.

Good Morning Rhymetime at Sidney/North Saanich Branch Library. Bring your littlest ones to the library for stories, songs, rhymes and movement. For 0-5. Thursdays April 9-May 21, 10:15-11am. Please register at 250-656-0944.

Families Bicycle Repair Classes at Recyclistas Bike Shop. Recyclistas offers affordable classes twice weekly. Learn how to safely and effectively fix, maintain and rebuild bicycles.

Classes are on Thursdays 4-7pm and Saturdays 1-4pm. Adults $25; Youth 10–18 years $13. Pre-register by calling 250-418-8867. recyclistas.ca•

IslandParent.ca

*STEM = Science, Technology, Engineering and Math.

ST. MARGARET’S SCHOOL REGISTER NOW FOR SUMMER CAMPS 1080 LUCAS AVE, VICTORIA 250.479.7171 | WWW.STMARG.CA

Open House Saturday, May 30, 10am–1pm Ready, Set, Learn

• preschool to grade 2 • before and after

school care

• small class sizes • supportive and

caring staff

• excellent academic

foundation

• Kodaly music

5575 West Saanich Rd (across from Red Barn Market) 250 592 4411 imhsenroll@gmail.com www.islandmontessori.com

program

• lovely rural location

connecting children to nature

May 2015 31

Island Parent Celebrating

on for Vancouver Island

The Resource Publicati

27 Years

Parents

May 2015

Yo! Mama

s Tips, Advice & Rambling

e Life in the Slow Lan Loving Your Ex for e Your Kids’ Sak

Around the Island

Visit IslandParent.ca for these and other events and resources for families from Cowichan Valley north to Campbell River and west to Tofino

Books for the Maternally Inclined

FRI 1 – THURS 7

New & Expectant s s Parent& Ser vice Products

Please visit any of our valued partners to pick up your latest copy of Island Parent.

GREATER VICTORIA Greater Victoria Public Libraries Vancouver Island Regional Libraries Greater Victoria Recreation Centres Thrifty Foods All 25 Serious Coffee locations Island-wide Save-On-Foods Victoria Gymnastics Country Grocer Chapters Vitamin Shop The Bay Centre (info booth) Scallywags Royal BC Museum Buddies Toys Crumsby’s Market on Yates Market on Millstream Victoria Conservatory JamTots Lifestyle Market Shaw Ocean Discovery Centre

DUNCAN Duncan Mall (centre court) Indigo Red Balloon Cowichan Recreation Centre Cowichan Aquatics Centre Kinderbeez Duncan Tourist Information CHEMAINUS Chemainus Theatre SHAWNIGAN LAKE Community Centre LADYSMITH Ladysmith Recreation Centre

Youth Week in Parksville. A national celebration of youth. A week of fun interaction and celebration intended to build a strong connection between young people and their communities. To find out what’s happening or to get involved, check out rdnyouth.ca, or contact Kelly Valade at 250-248-3252 or kvalade@rdn.bc.ca.

SAT 2 International Day of the Midwife Walk and Picnic in the Park at Matrea Centre to Centennial Park. Stroller/bike parade followed by a family picnic with kid’s games and cob-fired treats at Centennial Park. 10am-12:30pm.

SUN 3 Under the Surface at Neck Point Parking Lot. Did you know that there is a mysterious world living just beneath the surface of our oceans and streams? Come explore with us in search of these critters and learn about the life surrounding the shoreline. Discover what that slimy stuff is that gets stuck between your toes and much more. 3 to 6 year olds: 10-11am; 6 to 12 year olds: 11:30am-12:30pm. $8/person.

250-756-5200.

WED 6 Glow in the Dark Skate at Cliff McNabb Arena, Nanaimo. Skate in an atmosphere of dimmed lighting and special effects. Regular admission rates; glow necklaces $2. 6:30-8pm.

250-756-5200. nanaimo.ca

SAT 9 NANAIMO Nanaimo Aquatic Centre Quality Foods Country Club Mall Regional Library – Boban Fairway Market Island Natural Health Foods Woodgrove Centre

For a complete list of where you can find a copy of Island Parent Magazine, go to

islandparent.ca 250-388-6905 32 Island Parent Magazine

Super Saturdays at the Campbell River Art Gallery. Drop-in art making program. All materials provided. Children under 12 must be accompanied by an adult. 1-3pm. Admission by donation. 250-287-2261.

Move for Health Swim Day at Ravensong Aquatic Centre. Come celebrate and support healthy, active living. Everyone welcome swim. 1:30-5pm. 250-752-5014. rdn.bc.ca/ recreation.

TUES 12 Free Swim at Ladysmith Parks, Recreation and Culture. Please bring a non-perishable

food item and support the local food bank.

Sponsored by Tim Hortons. 6:30-8pm.

THURS 14 National Life Jacket Day at Ravensong Aquatic Centre. Submit an entry into the National Life jacket Day colouring contest. Colouring sheets and entry details will be available at the reception desk, or phone 250-752-5014. rdn.bc.ca/recreation.

National Life Jacket Day at Nanaimo Aquatic Centre. Life jacket awareness activities and PFD demos. Lobby displays, crafts and games.

3-6pm. 250-756-5200.

SAT 16 Mother Goose Family Swim at Ravensong Aquatic Centre. Waddle your way in for the Mother Goose family swim. Enjoy listening to nursery rhymes with Mother Goose. 10amnoon. Regular admission rates. 250-752-5014. rdn.bc.ca/recreation.

WED 20 Glow in the Dark Skate at Cliff McNabb Arena, Nanaimo. Skate in an atmosphere of dimmed lighting and special effects. Regular admission rates; glow necklaces $2. 6:30-8pm.

250-756-5200. nanaimo.ca

THURS 21 Intertidal Mecca Park Tour at Moorecroft Regional Park. From barnacles to the “love cycle” of the sea cucumber, you don’t want to miss this park nature tour with RLC Park naturalist. 10am-noon. $15.50/person. 250248-3252 to pre-register. rdn.bc.ca/recreation.

SAT 25 Super Saturdays at the Campbell River Art Gallery. Drop-in art making program. All materials provided. Children under 12 must be accompanied by an adult. 1-3pm. Admission by donation. 250-287-2261.

THURS 28 The River Speaks Park Tour at Englishman River. If the river could speak, what would it say? What secrets does it hold? Join a RLC Park naturalist and explore the secrets of the

kidsinvictoria.com

area from human to natural history and the processes in between. 10am-noon. $15.50/ person. Call RDN, Recreation and Parks at 250-248-3252 to pre-register. rdn.bc.ca/ recreation.

ONGOING PRESCHOOL Parent and Tot Drop-in at the HUB at Cowichan Station. Come for songs, organized games, and free play with balls, parachutes and more. This is a wonderful opportunity for parents and young children to connect with other families in the community. Free. For more information, email kids@cowichanstation.org.

Mornings with LaFF at the Aggie. Staff and participants create play-based learning stations to explore and enjoy. Bring food to share and make a healthy snack together while making new friends. Monday to Friday, 9:30am-noon. $2 suggested donation per family. familyandfriends.ca.

Family Storytime at Cowichan Library, Duncan. Bring the whole family for stories, songs, rhymes and fun. For ages 0-5. Tuesdays 10:3011:30am. 2687 James St. krumohr@virl.bc.ca.

CHILDREN Drop in Twoonie Floor Hockey at Nanaimo Ice Centre. Stop by after school and enjoy some ball hockey with your friends. Tuesdays and Thursdays 3:15-4:45pm. $2. 250-756-5200.

YOUTH Youth Drop-in in Nanaimo. The ultimate place to be. This is a supervised space for youth 12 to 17 to hang out and chill. Regular gymnasium activities and more. Program is free, but please register using barcode 134870. 7-9pm until May 27. Monday: Nanaimo District Secondary School; Wednesday: John Barsby Community School.

FAMILY Family Frolics at the Community Centre, Ladysmith. Open drop-in family fun night after work to burn off some energy and get ready for bed! 5:45-6:45pm. $2 suggested donation/ family. 250-245-6424. ladysmith.ca.

9th Annual Golden Shoe Hunt in Oceanside.

Instructions for the locations of the shoe will be posted weekly to rdn.bc.ca/recreation and on the RDN Facebook and Twitter pages until May 15th. All six shoes will remain in their hiding places until after the May long weekend, so there is plenty of time to find them. Get your shoes, maps and hiking partners ready.•

IslandParent.ca

ROCA ALMOND MOCHA

March 30 - May 10, 2015

May 2015  33

Community Connections for New Parents F

or some new parents, it might be a yoga class, for others a play group or maybe a local café for a cup of tea. Wherever “it” is for you, that place where you find a connection to other new parents can be as important to your well-being as love is to your baby’s.

Here are a few places where you can meet other new parents.

Recreation/Community Centres

Exercise Classes

Most centres offer free or nominally priced programs for new parents. Parent & Tot Drop-In (Burnside Gorge Community Centre 250-388-5251), Get Ready to Rock (Pearkes Recreation Centre 250-475-5400), Mom & Me (Saanich Neighbourhood Place 250-360-1148), Playing Together (Military Family Resource Centre 250-363-2640); Mother Goose (Burnside Gorge, Fernwood 250-381-1552, Esquimalt Neighbourhood House 250-385-2635); Dad’s Drop-In (Saanich Neighbourhood Place) are just some of the programs listed in spring leisure guides.

Whatever your preferred method of exercise, chances are you’ll be able to find a class that’s geared toward new parents.

From pre- and post-natal yoga classes (Helga Beer, 250-370-0464, Iyengar Yoga Centre, 250-386-9642, Mothering Touch Centre, 250-595-4905, Moksana Yoga, 250-385-2105), to Parent & Tot swimming at your recreation centre, Yoga, Stretch & Dance with Babies and Toddlers, drop-in, at Mothering Touch (250-595-4905), and baby-friendly boot camp at Life Force Systems (250-380-6947), these classes will help you get in shape and meet other parents.

Libraries The Greater Victoria Public Library offers programs for babies and toddlers and their adults. Programs are free and drop-in.

At Baby Time (for babies 0-15 months and caregiver) you’ll learn songs, rhymes, and fingerplays to use with your baby. At Toddler Time (for toddlers 16-35 months and caregiver) you’ll hear stories, songs and rhymes, and see puppets. For children under 3 and their adults, try a Family Storytime.

For more info, visit gvpl.ca or phone your local branch. For library programs in other Island communities, check the Vancouver Island Regional Library website at virl.bc.ca.

Parks/Playgrounds With flowers blooming and temperatures getting warmer, May is a beautiful month to be outside, so load up your baby or young child and stroll on down to the park. Try joining Saanich Park’s free Preschoolers in the Park program (saanich.ca/parkrec/ parks/parks/free.html) on Friday mornings from 10-11:30am for playground time, circle time, and a guided nature/urban walk in neighbourhood parks.

Exciting news for our younger and young-at-heart fans.

2 Fun family films on will play weekends and select weekday mornings.

WATERMELON MAGIC IN 2D AND 3D A TURTLE’S TALE 3D Coming Soon

CINDERELLA: THE IMAX® EXPERIENCE

250-480-4887 • imaxvictoria.com 34 Island Parent Magazine

kidsinvictoria.com

Neighbourhood Houses

Native Friendship Centre

Online Connections

Call the Neighbourhood House in your area to find out about drop-in programs and other opportunities for you and your child.

Beacon Community Services (various locations) 250-656-0134, Blanshard Community Centre 250-388-7696, Burnside Gorge Community Centre 250-388-5251, Esquimalt Neighbourhood House 250-3852635, Fernwood Community Centre 250381-1552, James Bay Community Project 250-388-7844, Military Family Resource Centre 250-363-2640, Saanich Neighbourhood Place 250-360-1148, Sooke Family Resource Society 250-642-5152.

Most drop-in programs are free or cost a nominal fee.

Programs are designed to promote the health of newborns and mothers in the urban Aboriginal community. The Slaheena & Aboriginal Parenting Programs include a Monday storytime (10:30-11:30am), a Tuesday playgroup (10:30-noon), a Wednesday parent support group (10:30am-1pm; prenatal group from 1-2:30pm), seasonal crafts, and outdoor activities. Phone 250384-3211 or visit vnfc.ca.

Victoria’s active online communities offer a great way to connect with other parents, find out about what’s going on in your community, and discover local resources.

At kidsinvictoria.com you can register to access the KIV community where you can join in or start discussions on any topic.

Support for New Families The Mothering Touch Centre at 975 Fort Street offers Parent & Babies drop-in sessions 3 times a week: Tuesday afternoons, 1-2:30pm for newborns-4 months, Wednesday afternoons, 1-2:30pm for babies 4-9 months; Thursday afternoons, 1-2:30pm for babies and toddlers 9 months and up.

There’s also a Pregnancy Happy Hour (and a half!) for pregnant mothers only, on Friday afternoons from 5-6:30pm. $2. Phone 250-595-4905 or visit motheringtouch.ca.

Support Circles Create your own (invite a few new parents and their babies over for coffee or tea and chit chat) or join a group that’s already formed. For example, Fernwood Community Centre’s Family Resource Program, a drop-in parent and child interactive group for parents with children up to 5 years of age where parents and children have fun, bond and interact through crafts, circle time, and play. Tuesdays and Thursdays, 9:30-11:30am. Coffee, juice and snacks are provided. Suggested donation of $2. Phone 250-381-1552 ext 107.

Go for a Stroll Meet up with a few new moms and/or dads at the stroller-friendly Gorge Waterway, a perfect place for a leisurely stroll with playgrounds along the way and gorgeous scenery. Or there’s the mostly flat, gravel loop around Rithet’s Bog in Saanich.

For a few hills, and a tougher slog for the stroller thanks to the wood chip trail, is the loop around Cedar Hill Golf Course where you’ll find beautiful views of the Olympic mountains and a duck pond full of well-fed though seemingly always hungry ducks. If you’re looking for a quiet and scenic paved route, try the Songhees, starting either at Westbay Marina or the Delta Ocean Point resort. If you’re too tired to push the stroller back to your starting point, climb aboard the harbour ferry and boat back instead.•

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IslandParent.ca

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ye st Acr Au g udancers 1H1 ip Hop & For Ballet, , Jazz

Come Dance With Us Call (250) 384-3267, email: stagesdance@shaw.ca or visit us at www.stagesdance.com May 2015 35

SUNRISE WALDORF SCHOOL

Teaching the BC curriculum in the inspired, holistic, Waldorf way.

Enhanced by French, Handwork, Strings, Plays and Seasonal Festivals.

Space is limited, apply now for September 2015.

Grades 1-8 Preschool Kindergarten

sunrisewaldorfschool.org Founded in 1980, located in the Cowichan Valley.

36 Island Parent Magazine

Rolling Along

F

or most of our time as parents, my wife and I have had to plot and plan to get time away from our kids. Back when our three kids were very young, the daily chaos of diapers, play dates, temper tantrums and toddlerhood made us long for time away, but without any grandparents in town, even a weekend away was a rare treat.

Recently though, things have changed.

When my parents come to visit now, my wife and I don’t try and escape the kids to get away on our own, we look for fun things to do together. And when we have a chance for a family vacation, time spent together is more important than time spent apart.

March break this year we rented an RV and spent 10 days cramped together on a tour of National Parks in the south western U.S. We had plans for a grand adventure, but we also had plans for lots of family time.

I remember the first turn I made with the RV. Heading out of the rental lot I glanced in the side view mirror and noticed we’d left the luggage hatch open. I remember the second turn too. It was just after we’d stopped at the grocery store. We forgot to latch the fridge properly and the moment I turned, half the contents came tumbling out, a jug of water broke and spilled all over the RV floor. The kids started screaming and my wife leapt from her seat to mop it up while I looked for a place to pull over. On our next turn, one of the cupboards opened up and our suitcases fell out. When I finally pulled over, we found a dollar store, bought duct tape and lashed everything down. Even after that, I called out “right turn,” and “left turn,” to ensure the kids were ready for falling food or dishes.

That first day we drove at least six hours, but none of the kids complained. They plugged in their devices, played cards and read. Now and again, one stood up to grab something to eat. When you’re driving around in a small house, there’s enough to do that a six-hour trip doesn’t seem too bad. Still no complaints when some of our days added up to eight or even 10 hours on the road.

We covered 1,400 miles over those 10 days, lumbering along in the slow lane. The driving always took longer than expected which meant we arrived late at night at each of the three parks we visited—Grand Canyon, Joshua Tree and Death Valley. In the kidsinvictoria.com

morning we’d all wake up to the wonder of a new place. I remember the morning after we arrived in Joshua Tree when Vivian peered out the window and saw at the piles of rock jutting up from the desert floor. “Everyone get up and look outside,” she called.

Dadspeak Daniel Griffin You couldn’t imagine three more striking landscapes—the odd rock formations and funky trees of Joshua Tree, the vastness of the Grand Canyon, the lunar landscapes, dunes and oppressive heat of Death Valley.

We saw mountains painted sulphur colours, orange, yellow and green. We hiked among bright red rocks, climbed stacks of boulders, marvelled at strange cacti. We looked at the sun through a telescope, licked salt off the ground 200 feet below sea level, spotted coyotes in the desert.

The land was breathtaking, but what I enjoyed most was our time together. We read To Kill a Mockingbird out loud to one another. We played baseball in the desert.

We went on hikes every day, scrambled up boulders for a view of the setting sun and in the evening we played cards. For 10 days we were forced together in 50 square feet of space and we had fun every minute of it.

As our kids grow older I realize how desperate I am to hold onto these moments and cherish our time with them. Very young kids are certainly a joy, and I miss the toddler days. I used to say three was my favourite age, but I also remember how the daily grind wore me down. I remember wanting to get away, and the pleasure of a quite house, the need for time alone.

Our kids are now nine, 10 and 14. Our daily grind is the battle to get homework done, piano practice in and chores completed while juggling dance classes, swimming, track and softball. It’s a grind we all enjoy escaping. And so now, instead of time away from the kids, what my wife and I want most is time with the kids and away from daily life.

Join Us for FUN and ADVENTURE at Burnside Gorge

Exciting weekly themes and out­-trips!

Camp Survivor

Adventure Day Camp Ages 10­–15

Burnside Fun n’ Sun

Licensed Day Camp Ages 5­–11

Space is limited – register now! 250­- 388-5251

Daniel Griffin is the father of three children and the author of Stopping for Strangers (Vehicule Press, 2012), a collection of short stories about parents, children, brothers and sisters.

IslandParent.ca

May 2015 37

Family Additions Healthy Families, Happy Families

Child, Youth & Family Public Health South Island Health Units Esquimalt 250-519-5311 Gulf Islands 250-539-3099 (toll-free number for office in Saanichton)

Peninsula 250-544-2400 Saanich 250-519-5100 Saltspring Island 250-538-4880 Sooke 250-642-5464 Victoria 250-388-2200 West Shore 250-519-3490

Central Island Health Units Duncan 250-709-3050 Ladysmith 250-755-3342 Lake Cowichan 250-749-6878 Nanaimo 250-755-3342 Nanaimo Princess Royal 250-755-3342 Parksville/Qualicum 250-947-8242 Port Alberni 250-731-1315 Tofino 250-725-4020

North Island Health Units Campbell River 250-850-2110 Courtenay 250-331-8520 Kyuquot Health Ctr 250-332-5289 ‘Namgis Health Ctr 250-974-5522 Port Hardy 250-902-6071

www.viha.ca/prevention_services/

38 Island Parent Magazine

T

he arrival of a new baby means a significant change in any family household.

For parents who already have children, this is the time to foster a new family relationship. Children can be very excited about a new baby brother or sister, lovingly looking after them and rushing to tell you when the baby cries, or helping with diaper changes and bath time.

However, sometimes children can be jealous and aggressive toward a new baby.

Children may react to the arrival of a baby by regressing in their own behaviours, by not following your instructions, by having tantrums or being moody, by becoming clingy or by having problems with bedtime, toileting or meals.

To avoid problems, it is best to start preparing your children for a new baby at least three to four months in advance. To help with preparation, Triple P provides the following ideas: 1. Start by talking about what to expect when baby comes home. Describe to your child what they were like as a baby and show them pictures. Don’t tell your child you are adding to your family so that they will have a friend to play with, as your child will be very disappointed with a playmate that sleeps most of the time and can’t even hold their own toys!

2. Be prepared for lots of questions about where exactly the baby is coming from.

Visit a good book store for age-appropriate information and books on the subject you can read with your child.

3. Where changes to household routines are necessary, such as moving your child from a crib to a bed or into another bedroom, these should be done well in advance.

Avoid giving your child the impression they are being displaced by the baby by saying things such as “you’re a big girl now so it’s time for you to sleep in a big girls bed.”

4. No matter what steps you take before the birth of a new baby, don’t be too concerned if your child is unwilling to hug or cuddle you when you are first reunited at home—they will mix with you and baby when they are ready. Just be available to hug and kiss your child and give them some undivided attention.

5. Use your baby’s name when encouraging younger siblings to interact with you and baby. This will help your children realize that the baby is a person just like them, rather than a ‘thing’ that has been brought home.

6. When problems do occur, it’s likely because your child is feeling left out. While some quality time may help adjust the balance, it’s important not to accidentally reward undesirable behaviour by giving too

Healthy Families, Happy Families C hild Y outh & Family Pub lic Health

CINDY KNOTT

much attention to babyish behaviours. Don’t punish your child if they slip back a little from developmental achievements, instead give lots of praise and encouragement when they behave well. Of course if any serious misbehaviour occurs such as hurting the baby, act quickly to let your child know the behaviour is not acceptable.

7. Remember too, no matter how wellbehaved your child is toward their new baby brother or sister it is a good idea to make sure they have a place to play uninterrupted away from the baby each day.

8. To avoid your child feeling guilty about any negative feelings they might have for their new baby brother or sister, make sure you acknowledge those feelings in a constructive way. If your child says they do not like the baby, you might agree that it is not always fun to have a baby in the house. You could talk about how you love the baby but also find some things hard, such as getting up in the middle of the night.

For more Triple P tips and ideas for all ages and stages of development or to find Triple P services in your community, visit triplepvip.ca or like us on Facebook facebook.com/TriplepVIP. Cindy Knott has worked for more than 25 years supporting children and families in Manitoba and British Columbia. She is currently the Vancouver Island Triple P Coordinator. kidsinvictoria.com

Mother Knows Best

I

t used to be, if you wanted to know the answer to one of life’s great mysteries, you asked your mom.

Why is the sky blue? If I put a raisin up my nose, what will happen? Mothers knew these things.

Mothers knew everything. That is, we used to.

Progress marches on, however, and the Word of Mom is slowly being replaced by another knowit-all: the formidable, untiring Google—a bottomless bank of humanity’s collective knowledge, available around the clock, delivering precise answers to even the most random of inquiries.

In three seconds or less.

Slowly but surely, the internet is becoming the go-to source for everything—even the common sense we used to rely on our mothers for. And I, myself, am encouraging it.

This uncomfortable truth has been creeping into my consciousness lately. True, my sevenyear-old is unlikely to access Google himself to find out what happens when you shove a raisin up your nose. He will still ask me, just as he asks 1,000 other questions each day: how tall is the Empire State Building? What do llamas eat for breakfast? How fast can a race car go? Since I don’t know the answers to any of these—except the raisin one, thanks to my brother—my standard answer is: “I don’t know; I’ll Google it.”

40 Island Parent Magazine

He gets the answers, via his mother. The only trouble is, Google gets all the credit. My role as the Ultimate Source Of Information is being eroded daily; I am merely the person who knows how to spell ‘Empire’ properly when typing it into the search bar. Sooner or later, my kids will figure out that I actually know next to nothing about the grand workings of the universe, and that, except for information such as what’s for dinner, I am basically useless.

Except…there are some truths Google will never be able to provide, and the other day, I realized how true this is. My three-year-old asked me where the sun goes at night. Pleased that I actually knew this one, I launched into a careful explanation about the Earth’s rotation around the sun and how it affects our daylight hours in the Western hemisphere, and…and then I remembered I was talking to a three year old.

In that moment I realized the great advantage mothers will always have over Google: our intuition. We understand the human context for the facts our children seek. Google can never give them the truth about things that really matter, like grief, and joy, and love. It may be the neverending source for facts, but it is not the source for wisdom. Because, at least during their younger

years, my children’s questions are less about facts and more about trying to understand our place in the world.

Is There an App for This?

SARAH MILLIGAN The glazed look in my daughter’s eyes reminded me that she wasn’t asking for science, she was asking for wonder. Coming to my mothering senses, I abandoned my scientific discourse and searched my imagination instead. Gathering her on my lap, I told her of the magnificent sun, tired after a long day of bringing light to the earth, and how he would lie down behind the mountains, curled up in the a blanket of sunset colours, to sleep until it was time to s.

My little girl looked at me and smiled, her eyes wide with wonder and satisfaction. She understood. I had given her the answer. And in that moment, I knew everything.

Sarah Milligan lives on Vancouver Island. She is grateful to her children for the joy they inspire, not to mention the endless writing fodder.

kidsinvictoria.com

Have you thought about supporting a person with a developmental disability? Would you consider being a paid Home Share Provider?

We welcome inquiries from individuals and families who can provide a supportive home in which adults with developmental disabilities can live safe, healthy, full lives.

If you’re interested in exploring home sharing possibilities, please contact the Home Share Coordinator in your region:

Victoria: 250-382-5990 Nanaimo: 250-729-7401 Courtenay/Comox: 250-338-6557

Victoria: 250-382-5959 ext 233 Parksville: 250-248-8336 Campbell River: 250-287-8397

For information about Kardel, please see our website www.kardelcares.ca

IslandParent.ca

May 2015  41

Go-To To-Go’s

W

e all need some good, dependable pack-and-go options. I don’t necessarily mean something like the amazing mix-and-match outfits that actually turn out to be only two pieces of fabric, which fold and drape in many ways, thereby dressing one clever person for an entire week, and meaning that they only need to bring a very small wallet as luggage on their holiday.

No, my mind is on shared meals, and potluck dinners, and multi-family picnics in the park, or block parties. Potlucks tend to encourage people to bring enough food to feed everyone else, even with no other dishes contributed, which helps to compensate for the one or two people who just bring a bag of baby carrots, or some butter.

The challenge is finding something to make that everyone else isn’t making already, and that is unusual enough to be intriguing but not so different as to be scary and therefore becoming the wallflower of the buffet table.

It’s also best to avoid things that need to be

kept warm or cold: if they’re in the fridge or the oven they may be overlooked until everyone is too full to appreciate them.

The key is finding something to bring that is quick and easy to prepare, and ideally can be done ahead of time. When my kids were small and had class potlucks, they often seemed to be Thursday evenings at 5:00 p.m. All good, except for the fact that time travel hasn’t actually been invented, and getting home from work in time to be at the potluck is miracle enough, leaving out the rabbit-out-of-hat meal conjuring.

Here are a few recipes that taste good, are easy to prepare, and can be made the night before. Enjoy!

Chicken Enchiladas 1 cooked chicken breast, cooled and cut into small chunks (about 2 cups) 1⁄2 package cream cheese 1⁄2 red pepper, thinly sliced then cut into large confetti bits 1⁄2–3⁄4 cup salsa

2 green onions 1 tsp cumin 2 tsp chili powder pinch cayenne pepper, if desired salt and pepper, to taste 6 whole wheat flour tortillas

Just Eat It! Kathy Humphrey 1 cup salsa 1 cup grated Cheddar or Monterey Jack cheese salsa and sour cream, to serve diced avocado to serve, if desired In a large bowl, combine chicken, cream cheese, red pepper, green onions, cumin, chili powder, cayenne (if using). Spread salsa evenly over each tortilla, covering as much of the surface as possible. Divide the chicken mixture between the tortillas, lumping it into the centre of the tortilla, then roll up the tortillas, placing it seam side down in a greased casserole dish (9"x13").

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Drizzle one cup of salsa over top, trying to be even with the distribution. Scatter grated cheese over all. Cover with foil, and bake in preheated 350˚F oven for about 20 minutes.

Remove foil, then bake for about another 10 minutes, or until cheese is melted and golden. Serve with salsa, sour cream and chopped avocado on the side, if you’d like.

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Black Bean & Corn Salad 2 x 540ml tins of black beans, drained and rinsed well 1 cup frozen corn, steamed until tender and then cooled (can substitute 1 tin of corn, drained) 2 red peppers, diced 2 cloves garlic, minced 2 green onions, finely chopped 2 tsp salt 1⁄4 tsp cayenne pepper 1 tsp cumin 2 Tbsp sugar 9 Tbsp olive oil 1 tsp lime zest 6 Tbsp lime juice 1⁄2 cup chopped fresh cilantro, plus more to add when serving 2 large avocados, chopped.

Combine all ingredients except for the avocados and garnish cilantro in a large bowl. Toss well to be sure that all of the ingredients are combined. Cover and refrigerate for a few hours, or overnight (it’s better if it can sit overnight to allow the flavour to truly develop). Carefully stir in avocado, and sprinkle the remaining cilantro over top.

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No-Bake Chocolate Drop Cookies 2 cups white sugar 1⁄2 cup milk 1 tsp vanilla 1⁄2 cup butter 1⁄2 cup cocoa powder 1 cup shredded coconut 3 cups rolled oats Place sugar, milk and butter in a saucepan.

Bring to a boil, stirring often. Swirl in vanilla.

Boil for 3 minutes. Remove from heat. Add remaining ingredients, mixing well. Drop by spoonfuls onto waxed paper-covered cookie sheet. Refrigerate. Let cool and set before eating.

Kathy Humphrey lives in Victoria with her husband and two children. She tries to see cooking for a family not as a chore but as a creative outlet.

IslandParent.ca

May 2015 43

Stories by Local Kids

W

hat makes a book good?

We read stories for so many reasons: for entertainment, to build our emotional capacity, to stretch our boundaries and simply to fill ourselves, nourishing our lives in a way that feels somehow inherently right. Reading makes us feel more human.

There is a leap between reading and writing. Taking that leap takes courage. It means committing part of yourself, exposing a piece of yourself to whoever your reader may be.

To many of us, this is a terrifying prospect and we are burdened with doubts of whether we can actually reflect our thoughts and ideas accurately through our stories, or whether they are in fact worth sharing.

But when kids write they often do so without the hesitations that adults have.

More often than not, they write authentically, sharing their perspective, and ideas, figuring out their voice. They play with humour, with different genres, and with drama in order to find out what emotion, what sentiment, feels most natural to them.

This month, The Story Studio Writing Society is launching its first anthology with

local publisher FriesenPress. This is a collection of Grade 4 and 5 students writing from five different Greater Victoria schools.

Describing the anthology, award-winning Canadian children’s author, Sheree Fitch (No Two Snowflakes are Alike, and Toes Between) writes “…here in these stories are living breathing young hearts and minds shaping their stories and telling them in such a way I know they care—and care deeply—about the world they live in.”

While there are some wonderful descriptions, such as in Amy Hoeg’s “The Tree of Hope,”— “I saw the leaves dance in the wind like ballerinas”—it is the earnestness of the telling that makes the stories really special.

It is the eagerness to create that makes them so magical.

In the stories, you can feel the kids’ enthusiasm to create, to share. They explore a variety of topics ranging from grief, and being lost, to fighting for the parks and oceans, and dealing with disappointment.

Eurykah Atanabe Aggabao’s character must train a dragon to help her save the polluted sea. Kaitlyn Simons’ protagonist must con-

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44 Island Parent Magazine

vince the Major to stop development that is threatening her local park. There are other stories that express the romance of adventure through fantasy and exploration.

Book Nook Paisley Aiken It isn’t only the topics that make the stories intriguing. It is also the attempt at different genres. Liam Wardle follows in the tradition of superheroes when he creates Snakeman, who has scales that pale, eyes that change from green to blue and skin that sheds when Snakeman prepares for his heroic feats. His portrayal of a superhero is fantastic and he paints a vivid picture. “His heart beat as fast as a hummingbird’s wings and he had goose bumps on his goose bumps,” he writes.

Some of the kids experiment with humour.

It’s hard not to laugh at a group of moms that take down a monster to save their children in “The Case of the Eaten Children.” Or feel the exasperation of Everett Capeau’s more cynical office worker story where, “The annoying, repetitive clicking from the other cubicles stopped and I turned off my disgusting, file laptop and walked down the now-empty, somehow humid hallways and staircases to the main door of the unwashed office building,” only to have his boss later spray saliva at him as he yells.

Mixed in the stories there are small observations, vivid descriptions, morsels of emotion that give the reader a small indication of the author’s mind. “When Sarah woke up in the morning, she felt so alive.” Or, “The chirp of the bird woke the fox up.” Somehow these small and simple reflections reveal the author, and give a taste of the world that they observe.

The stories in this anthology may not win awards. Some of the stories are written more strongly than others. But all of the stories in this anthology tie us to humanity. They all have an earnestness, a courage and an honesty that make us feel as though we are part of the world that these young authors live in and they allow us to participate in their emotional and intellectual exploration.

Paisley Aiken reads extensively to her three energetic young boys. She is founder of The Story Studio Writing Society, a charity that grows kids’ relationship with literacy.

kidsinvictoria.com

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May 2015

45

Family Services Directory This directory, sponsored by Thrifty Foods, features not for profit agencies and organizations serving children, youth and families.

1Up, Victoria Single Parent Resource Centre (www.1up.ca) provides support, education and resources for parents in the Greater Victoria area through free counselling, volunteer training for reception and peer helper positions, a mentoring program for single moms, and a support group for dads. The Centre also offers over 20 integrated life skills and parenting courses which are open to the whole community (fees are on a sliding scale).

Child care assistance is available based on financial need.

The Centre provides a bread pantry and free clothing for single parents. Donations of gently-used clothing, small household items, books, and toys are very welcome every Monday and Wednesday. Centre hours are 9–4 weekdays.

602 Gorge Rd. East; call 250-385-1114 or info@1-up.ca.

Beacon Community Services is a community-based non-profit agency providing social, employment, and health services to Saanich Peninsula, Greater Victoria, and Southern Gulf Islands residents. Beacon offers: child, youth, and family services; a drop-in family resource centre; counselling; employment services for adults, youth, and people with disabilities; home support; volunteer services and opportunities; community events; affordable assisted living for seniors; referrals, information, and resources; thrift shops. For Home Support information call 250658-6407; for all other inquiries call 250-656-0134, or visit beaconcs.ca.

Beacon Community’s Employment Services. Beacon Community Services provides a full menu of employment services to the Saanich Peninsula, Southern Gulf Islands.

We have been helping people find work since 1982! Our programs build on a client’s strengths and resolve barriers to securing and maintaining employment. Furthermore, we work in tandem with our employer network to support those residents looking for work. If you need help finding a job or need employees please pay us a visit! It’s FREE. 9860 Third St, Sidney, 250-656-0134, beaconcs.ca.

K-11 Alternative School

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Boys & Girls Club Services offer after-school and evening social, educational and recreational programming for children and youth at 5 locations (Colwood, Langford, VicWest, Central Saanich and Esquimalt) and summer camps both in Esquimalt and at our Outdoor Centre in Metchosin. We also offer support to parents through our Parents Together program and parent workshops.

For more information on all programs and services visit bgcvic.org or call 250-384-9133.

The Canucks Autism Network (CAN) provides yearround, high quality sports, recreational, social and arts programs for children, teens and young adults living with autism, while building awareness and providing training through community networks across British Columbia.

CAN currently offers Soccer (ages 5-15), Swim (ages 4-15), Physical Literacy (ages 4-11), Family Events and Camps on Vancouver Island. To learn how you can join, please visit canucksautism.ca/join or email info@ canucksautism.ca.

CHOICES Adoption & Counselling is a licensed, professional, non-profit agency that provides services to adoptive parents, birth-parents, and adoptees. CHOICES arranges adoptions domestically and internationally. We are committed to providing a comprehensive, clientcentered adoption service which best meets the needs of everyone in the adoption constellation. Please contact us at choices@choicesadoption.ca, or call 250-479-9811 for further information.

Countryside Preschool is a cooperative preschool where our qualified ECE provides stimulating instruction to develop your child’s social and cognitive skills. Families build a network of support through our parent-participation days. Classes are in session Sept–June; Tues–Thurs; 9am–1pm. Flexible registration options available. Visit our FREE Stay ’N Play sessions for caregivers and tots, Mondays, 10am–noon. Visit countrysidepreschool.org or call 250-652-3424.

Family Services of Greater Victoria (formerly BC Families in Transition) is a non profit agency that has been serving families since 1978. We provide a full range of services to the whole family in supporting their relationship and through separation and divorce. Counseling, mediation, legal information and a range of group programs are available for children, youth and adults on a sliding fee scale.

Call us at 250-386-4331 or visit fsgv.org. We can help.

HeadWay Victoria Epilepsy & Parkinson’s Centre supports families living with seizures by offering parent workshops three times a year, educational presentations in schools and community groups as well as providing tutoring sessions and one-to-one professional consultations to help your child live up to their highest potential.

Keep up to date with the latest research about treatments, lifestyle, and safety issues for your child. We can be reached at headwayvictoria.com, or you can reach the Epilepsy Program Coordinator directly at 250-475-6677.

Inter-Cultural Association of Greater Victoria (ICA) is a service agency for immigrants and refugees. Programs offered include cross-cultural counseling, parenting programs (child care available), family violence programs, employment services, interpretation and translation, diversity workshops and training, ESL instruction, volunteering, youth programs and tutoring, as well as intercultural arts programming. 930 Balmoral Rd, 250-388-4728, info@ icavictoria.org, icavictoria.org.

Learning Disabilities Association of BC, SVI Chapter, educates, supports and advocates for children and youth with learning disabilities and related conditions.

Services include a public lending library, individual/ group support for parents and children, professional/ educational workshops for parents and professionals. Child and youth programs include: reading/ writing, academic skills, social/emotional skill development and Fast ForWord. 1562 Fort St, Victoria, BC V8S 5J2. Ph 250-370-9513. Fax. 250-370-9421. ldasvi.bc.ca. knowyourrights.ca.

Military Family Resource Centre (MFRC) provides programs and services to the military family community including: 24-Hour Information Line; Deployment Infor-

An empowering multi-age learning community: - child-directed learning & choices

The joy of learning - naturally.

http://oakandorca.ca 250 383 6609 46 Island Parent Magazine

- compassionate communication - hands-on/minds-on math & science - prioritized environmental education - regular field trips & nature awareness

kidsinvictoria.com

mation and Workshops; Short Term Counselling, Crisis Support or Intervention; Welcome/Relocation Services; Childcare and Family Support Services; Assistance for Families with Special Needs and Responsibilities. Exciting Volunteer opportunities available! Call the MFRC: 250-363-2640 (1-800-353-3329) for information or visit esquimaltmfrc.com.

Power To Be provides inclusive nature-based activity programs for youth and families living with a barrier or disability who need support to access recreation and their community. We create year-round programs to fit participant needs through activities such as kayaking, rock climbing, hiking, canoeing and more. Visit powertobe.ca or call 250-385-2363 to get involved.

Rested Development Sleep Consulting. I am educated in ALL sleep-training methods and together we use a method that best suits YOUR family and values. My services are unique in that I use an integrative approach to sleep using healthy sleep foundations including: emotional well-being, nutrition, breastfeeding, family dynamics, child temperaments, sleep environments, sleep/wake windows, sleep associations, and developmental milestones, in conjunction with sleep training. For more information please visit resteddevelopment.com or call 250-937-0996 for a free 15 minute consultation.

Sooke Family Resource Society (SFRS) provides Family Resource Programs including: Prenatal Education and Outreach, Parent-Tot Drop-In Groups, Parent Discussion Groups, Family Support Groups and Outreach, a Toy and Book Lending Library, and Kingfisher Preschool. SookeWestshore Child Care Resource and Referral services, as well as all-ages counselling services are also provided

by SFRS. Services are provided from the Child, Youth and Family Centres in both Sooke and the Westshore.

Call 250-642-5152 for more information or visit our website at sfrs.ca.

SFRS’s Welcome Home Program is looking for homes that can support adults diagnosed with a disability looking to gain further independence. The livingsituations are varied and unique and can include living within a family home or a suite in the family home. The needs of the individuals are varied, dependent on the disability, but can include relationship building, life skills, meal prep, etc. For more information, please call 778-433-2023 or go tosfrs.ca.

Sooke-Westshore Early Years Centres provide information to families about children and family services, supports, child development and parenting. The Early Years Navigator will assist families with referral information for local early years programming, child care, public health, special needs intervention services, and social supports.

The Sooke-Westshore Early Years Centres are hosted by Sooke Family Resource Society and located at the Child, Youth, and Family Centres in both Sooke and the Westshore and can be reached at 250-217-9243. Additional information can be accessed at sfrs.ca/early-years-centre.

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& The place online where parents and grandparents get information about their community for their family: Read current and past issues of Island Parent Magazine.

Visit our Marketplace to find businesses, programs and services that cater to the little person in your life.

Looking for that special something you had when you were a kid? Check out our classified ads.

Want to see what’s up today or this weekend?

View our calendar of events.

Whether it’s dance lessons, parenting workshops, fun days and festivals, what’s happening at your local rec centre or community events—Kids In Victoria has it all!

Maybe you are looking for something to engage your mind or perhaps need a little bit of advice. Well we have that too on our community forum.

Receive Island Parent & Kids In Victoria e-newsletter for updates and exclusive contests.

You can also enter our monthly and photo contests.

Come be part of our community at

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May 2015 47

8 Things to Know as a New Parent

A

fter talking with countless new parents over the years, I realize that we all struggle with the same issues—things that can creep up on us while we are focused on lessons about feeding, changing, and rocking our newborn to sleep. Besides the basics of handling a new baby, we need tools to deal with our new life as a parent. We need to know about handling the self-doubt and the feeling of overwhelm and failure that can come along with parenthood, and that having a baby can take a toll on marriage and sense of personal well-being. I can now look back my own journey into parenthood through a different lens than what I had when I was wrapped up in the tornado of parenting babies. I’ve put together a list of the top things that are so important for new parents to know:

1. Watch for and listen to baby’s cues.

While babies can only communicate through body language and crying, within the first week, you will begin to notice behaviors and different tones of crying that are clearly trying to tell you something.

For example: Babies will give you cues for hunger long before they cry, including things like rapid eye movement underneath their closed eyelids, finger or hand sucking, and reaching with arms and legs. When you notice any or all of those cues, feed your baby or crying will be next! If your baby is tired, some of his cues might be pulling at his ears, yawning and/or quick, jerky movements. Pay close attention to those different cues and within a week or so, you will easily be able to decipher what it is your baby is trying to tell you, and most likely before he even starts crying.

2. Develop a support network.

Find a group of other moms who are going through what you are going through, who can laugh with you and cry with you, who will have your back and help you out of a down time. Your support network are the people who will always be there when you say “Help!” It may be friends, family, or even colleagues.

48 Island Parent Magazine

3. Ask and accept help. All moms are super women, but we are not super human.

When you are sleep deprived, overwhelmed, and don’t think you can make it another minute, reach out. If someone wants to bring over dinner, let them. If someone wants to come over while you take a nap and shower, let them. Graciously accept all the help you can get, because chances are, the person offering the help has been in your shoes before and knows a little help goes a long way during those first few months.

You can always pay the favour back later.

4. Take time for yourself.

Do you love to run or go to the gym?

Maybe you like to sew or write. It’s hard, I know, but carve out the time to do it and protect it. I have a friend who started taking pottery classes after the birth of her first baby and almost 11 years later, she still attends those classes every Wednesday evening. Figure out what pieces of the “before baby” version of you that are the most important and hold on to them at all costs. It is also absolutely crucial for your well-being to take time for yourself on a daily basis. Every day make it a point to take a shower, put on clean clothes and eat at least two wholesome meals. Aim to get out of the house into the fresh air: a walk around the block does wonders.

5. Remember that “this too shall pass.”

As you breathe, repeat this mantra to yourself. With kids who are a little older now, I can promise you with certainty that many developmental and parenting issues will pass. The breastfeeding that makes it feel like you’re chained to this little human, the incessant crying as those first teeth come in, the Terrible Two’s and the tumultuous threes—all of it will pass and you will survive.

6. Cut yourself some slack.

Nobody is perfect and we are no exception to that rule just because we are moms. There kidsinvictoria.com

will be the days when you forget something, or miss an appointment or don’t get a shower in or a healthy meal on the table. Do not get caught up trying to be the perfect mother.

There is no such thing. In order to be the best mother to your baby, all you have to do is try your best. Parenting is filled with both triumphs and failures. Do not be hard on yourself or get discouraged if you fail. If you fall down, stand up, dust yourself off and try something else.

New Parent Pages Diana Hurschler, BScN

7. Trust your gut.

With so many online parenting resources and “how-to” books available today, most contradicting the next, don’t get caught up thinking these resources know better than you do. I cannot stress this enough: Trust what your gut and heart are telling you, because 9.5 times out of 10, they are spoton right. Go with your gut first. Always.

8. Take care of your relationship.

It is so easy to lose sight of your relationship with your partner during those first few weeks and months of parenthood. Between the exhaustion from the sleepless nights, the demanding feeding schedule and your normal household or work activities, it can be hard to find quality time to spend with your partner. However, it is crucial that you make time. The key is not to build a new life around your baby, but to blend your baby into your existing life together.

If I have learned anything as a mother, it is that motherhood is a journey filled with ups and downs. Just when I think I have it figured out, the game changes, but even still, I try to keep these tips in practice to this day. They keep me grounded enough to be the best parent I can be.

Diana Hurschler, RN BscN, childbirth educator, certified breastfeeding counselor, has been helping families in their childbearing years and beyond since 1998. Diana is the proud mama of four little ones. Email diana@hurschler.com.

IslandParent.ca

May 2015 49

Preschool & Child Care Directory CENTRAL SAANICH

Highlands

SAANICH

Chrysalis Child Care................................ 250-652-0815 A nurturing and stimulating environment for a small group of 21⁄2–5 year old children. Qualified ECE promotes learning through play. chrysalischildcare.ca.

Lexie’s Little Bears.................................. 778-432-3600 Only seconds past Luxurious Bear Mountain our HIGHLY reputable Nature Program will not disappoint! Our NATURAL outdoor environment provides an experience like no other…in our own rainforest. Located on 2 acres of treed forest land, your child will learn and grow in NATURE! Our Brand NEW Infant/Toddler centre is tranquil and serene.

All the furniture, shelving and some toys have been hand crafted using the trees on our own property! Programs for 3 to 5’s and for Infant/Toddlers. Spaces avail. NOW! Visit our Facebook blog, and website at lexieslittlebears.com.

Call for more info.

Arbutus Grove Children’s Centre........... 250-477-3731 Formerly known as Goosey Gander Kindergarten. Half Day and Full Day Preschool Programs. Children’s learning is supported and nurtured through inquiry, exploration, play and creative expression. arbutusgrove.ca.

Countryside Preschool........................... 250-652-3424 Learn through play at our co-op preschool for 2.5–5 yr olds! Big classroom, beautiful playground, nurturing ECE:countrysidepreschool.org.

Colwood/LANGFORD Goldstream Co-op Preschool........................................

Learning Through Play for 3 and 4yr olds! For registration information go to our website: goldstreampreschool.com.

Jenn’s Little Bears................................... 250-478-8999 A safe nurturing environment for children from infancy to kindergarten. Our Infant and Toddler Program enriches each child’s development while our 3-5 Program prepares children for kindergarten. Two separate buildings allow each age group space to grow!

Leap Forward Childcare......................... 250-818-9225 2758 Peatt RD. Licenced group childcare for children ages 6 months to 5 years old. Offering fulltime and part-time care. Open 6:30am-5:30pm. For more information please contact Amber: info@leap forwardlangford.com, leapforwardlangford.com.

METCHOSIN A Growing Place...................................... 250-391-1133 Half day program (AM or PM) for 2.5-5 yrs. ECE educator, small class size. Our own petting farm. Summer program for July.

Metchosin Co-op Preschool................... 250-478-9241 Come visit our stunning natural outdoor playspace, and see how our inclusive, play-based program allows parents to grow and learn alongside their children. Exceptional ECE staff provide a warm and enriching experience for 2.5–5 yr. olds. Come Grow With Us! EST. 1960. Reg. begins March 1 @ 9am. metchosinpreschool@gmail.com.

Miles of Smiles Nature Junior Kindergarten.................... 778-265-4374 Come See Why Learning In Nature Rocks! Reggio Influenced Philosophy ages 3-5. Have Your Child Become a Nature Detective Today! Email mosnjk@hotmail.com.

West-Mont Montessori School............... 250-474-2626 Preschool Montessori instruction in a beautiful natural environment in Metchosin. Ages 30 months and up. Providing a balanced approach to incorporating Nature, French, Music and Art into a complete educational program. Be a part of a community devoted to the development of the whole child. Open House: Thursdays 9-11 am. west-mont.ca.

CORDOVA BAY

North SAANICH

Carrot Seed Preschool............................ 250-658-2331 Where children can discover, imagine, construct and learn through play. Wondrous natural playground. carrotseedpreschool.com.

In The Garden Childcare Centre............. 250-654-0306 A GREAT PLACE TO GROW. Offering preschool, full day care, before and after school care for children aged 2.5 to 12 years old. Open all year.

ESQUIMALT

OAK BAY

Ciara Early Childhood Centre................. 250-386-7369 Education and Fun Hand in Hand! Exceptional care for ages 1-5yrs. Inclusive nature inspired kindergarten readiness program with Christian values. Facebook.com/ CiaraEarlyChildhoodCentre.

Emmanuel Preschool.............................. 250-598-0573 Children learn through play in our non-denominational Christian preschool near UVic. Bright attractive setting. emmanuelpreschool.ca.

Island Kids Academy Esquimalt............. 250-381-2929 High quality child care (ages 1-5). Preschool curriculum offered within a warm, caring all-day program. Character development using the Virtues Project. Access to community programs including swimming, skating, Victoria Conservatory of Music. Part-time spaces available. islandkids.ca.

La Pre-Maternelle Appletree Preschool................................ 250-479-0292 A French Immersion Program. 30 months to school age.

Licensed Christian centre. prematernelleappletree.com.

Child Care

Resource & Referral www.islandfamilyinfo.ca www.ccrr.bc.ca 50 Island Parent Magazine

Gonzales Co-op Preschool..................... 250-727-1003 Children use imaginations in a Learning through Play classroom and natural playground. Reggio-Emilia inspired, focus is on art, nature and music. Nurturing, highly qualified ECE and ECE assistant. Parent participation options. Allergy aware. gonzalescooppreschool.com.

Recreation Oak Bay................................ 250-370-7200 Fully licensed, ECE Daycare, Preschool and Nature Preschool. Play based, child led learning. Afterschool care available.

Sundance Playschool.............................. 250-590-9955 Group daycare for ages 3–5, centrally located off Fort. Offering an exciting ECE program in a lovely character house with a maximum of 16 children for a focus on individual attention. Great yard and gardens with lots of outdoor activities. Spaces coming available July 1st.

Bee Happy Montessori House................ 250-516-6191 Childcare and pre-school based on Montessori approach which meets each child’s need, according to individual development and learning styles.

Camosun College Child Care Services......250-370-4880 Quality licensed facilities on both campuses providing children, newborn to 5 years, with rich early learning experiences in a learn through play environment. camosun. ca/childcare.

Carrot Seed Preschool............................ 250-658-2331 Where children can discover, imagine, construct and learn through play. Wondrous natural playground. carrotseedpreschool.com.

Cloverdale Child Care.................................250-995-1766 Full time daycare 3-5 year olds. Preschool–register now for September 2015. 3 year olds Tue/Thur 9:00-1:00. 4 year olds Mon/Wed/Fri 9:00-1:00. cloverdalechildcare@ shawbiz.ca. cloverdalechildcare.com.

Full o’ Beans Preschool.............................. 250-360-1148 We offer ‘learn through play’ programming designed to foster your child’s natural curiosity and imagination. Flexible scheduling, 2.5 and 4 hour programs, qualified staff.

Registration is ongoing! saanichneighbourhoodplace.com.

Hoof Beats Preschool & Childcare............ 250-588-2583 Licensed HighScope program fostering learning through nature, farm life, and horses! 3-6 yrs. Year round. hoof-beats.ca.

Island Montessori House........................ 250-592-4411 Inclusive, integrated and nurturing Preschool and Kindergarten programs. Located in a lovely rural setting with a focus on nature and outdoor environmental activities such as gardening and composting. islandmontessori.com.

Lakehill Co-op Preschool....................... 250-477-4141 Where children’s development is nurtured through a child centered inclusive, play based program. Come visit our natural outdoor playground and meet our loving qualified ECE team. Multiple Levels of participation available, please enquire. lakehillpreschool.org.

Lambrick Park Preschool & Childcare.................................................. 250-477-8131 Gordon Head’s only parent-participation preschool and childcare centre. Flexible options, play-based learning and outdoor play. Allergy friendly. Celebrating 40+ years. lambrickparkpreschool.ca.

Little Readers Academy.......................... 250-477-5550 An enriched learn-to-read program for your 3-6 year-old!

Reading, Writing and Math. Half-day, weekend and evening sessions available. oxfordlearning.com.

Neighbourhood Junior Kindergarten..... 250-479-4410

Looking for child care? Need help with subsidy forms?

Taking care of children? Need child care training?

Your community’s best source of child care information and resources.

Victoria & Gulf Islands: 250-382-7000 or 1-800-750-1868 Sooke: 250-642-5152 Westshore: 250-391-4324 Cowichan Valley: 250-746-4135 local 231 PacificCare (Ladysmith north): 250-756-2022 or 1-888-480-2273 Funded by the Province of BC

kidsinvictoria.com

Preschool & Child Care Directory Oakcrest Preschool................................. 250-472-0668 A welcoming, nurturing environment with a large, bright facility. Learn through play with 2 caring ECEs. oakcrestpreschool.org.

Pacific Christian School – Pre-School... 250-479-4532 Your child will love the playful, safe environment and caring staff at PCS Pre-School. Come and explore Educational Excellence to the Glory of God. PacificChristian.ca Puddles & Paints (Nature Daycare)........ 250-658-6573 Introduce your children to the natural world around them!

Surrounding them with nature and animals, we build on their curiosity while exploring the outdoors! On 10 acres of parkland the children lead the way towards environmental awareness! With a new ART STUDIO, and weekly lessons from the Vic. Academy of Music... your child’s day will be FULL of wonder and NATURE. Strongly influenced by Reggio. Visit our facebook page for pics of our studio, and handmade toys!

Rainbows & Dreams Preschool.............. 250-479-1966 Small classes for 3-5 yr olds in a safe nurturing environment. Children learn through play and fun–developing a sense of confidence, independence and creativity. Highly qualified ECE teacher.

Ready Set Grow Preschool..................... 250-472-1530 Inside Hillcrest Elm. in Gordon Head, we help children transition to Kindergarten. Licensed Preschool with highly qualified, warm ECE. heoscmanager@gmail.com.

Rogers Child Care Centre....................... 250-744-2343 Trusted High Quality Non Profit Care since 1991. Year Round Early Learning and Out of School Care. For more info go to rogerschildcare.com.

St. Joseph’s Catholic Preschool.................................... 250-479-1232 ext 120 • A Christian child centre for 3–5 year olds.

• A warm nurturing and challenging program • Offered by St. Joseph’s Catholic School.

St. Margaret’s School.............................. 250-479-7171 For girls from Junior Kindergarten (ages 3-4) to Grade 12.

Unique STEM-focused curriculum with outdoor exploration, art and music. stmarg.ca.

Strawberry Vale Preschool..................... 250-479-4213 Programs for kids 3-4 at “The Little Red Schoolhouse.” An opportunity to be actively involved with your preschooler’s education. strawberryvalepreschool.org.

Wiseways Preschool & Daycare............. 250-477-1312 Quality, fully licensed, Christian preschool/daycare for 3–4 year olds. Experienced team of ECEs. Spacious facilities include large playground and indoor gym. Subsidized fees welcome. Call for a tour. wisewaysvictoria.com.

SIDNEY Acorntree Preschool............................... 250-686-1408 Balanced indoor/outdoor program, designed to stimulate natural curiosity and foster empathy and compassion towards others. We believe in the importance of both child and teacher directed activities. acorntreepreschool.ca.

Adel’s Play N Discovery House.............. 250-655-4888 Licensed childcare, 3-5 years, Reggio Emilia inspired.

Mon–Fri, 7:30am–5:30pm. 2146 Beacon Avenue W. adelplayndiscovery.ca, adelina.gotera@gmail.com.

Positive Path Early Learning.................. 250-655-7244 Located near the library and Sidney School, our program has earned a stellar reputation for quality child care and is growing as fast as the children we care for. Space is available for your child to embark on a journey of active exploration and discovery, enjoying a natural outdoor playground and an expansive indoor learning space. Experienced educators foster a lifelong quest for knowledge and guide children with Christian values and virtues. positivepath@shaw.ca.

Storyoga Preschool................................. 778-679-4004 Embracing and empowering children exactly as they are.

Storyoga Preschool is a nature and yoga based program located in Sidney, BC. storyoga.com.

IslandParent.ca

VICTORIA ArtsCalibre Academy.............................. 250-382-3533 Comprehensive programs for Preschool through Grade 5, delivering academic excellence through music, dance, drama and visual arts. Outstanding educators, locations and facilities. ArtsCalibre.ca Babies to Big Kids Childcare......................250-590-2722 949 Fullerton Ave. Licenced group childcare for children ages 6 months to 11 years old. Offering full-time and part-time care. Open 6:30am-5:30pm. info@babies tobigkids.com, babiestobigkids.com.

Castleview Child Care............................. 250-595-5355 Learning Through Play & Discovery. Licensed non-profit, qual. ECE staff. Since 1958. Preschool and full-time care. castleviewchildcarecentre.com.

Centennial Day Care............................... 250-386-6832 Providing quality childcare for 35+ years. Nature inspired, play based program. Brand new “green” building, central location. centennialdaycare.ca.

Christ Church Cathedral Childcare and Junior Kindergarten......................... 250-383-5132 ECE and specialist teachers provide an outstanding all day licensed program for 3-5 year olds. NEW location: 1670 Richardson opens March 2015. cathedralschool.ca.

Downtown Y Child Care Centre............. 250-413-8869 Enriched program, for children ages 3-5 years, supporting healthy child development and future school success. victoriay.com.

Lansdowne Co-op Preschool................. 250-370-5392 An extraordinary learning environment for families with young children. Parent participation. lansdownepreschool.com.

Nightingale Preschool and Junior Kindergarten Ltd.................. 250-595-7544 We offer education through creativity and play, providing rich learning experiences through a well sourced and stimulating indoor and outdoor environment. Early years reading programme. nightingalepreschool.com. New Arts/ Drama programme – September 2015 – Kidsworks.ca.

Parkdale Early Childhood Centre........... 250-382-0512 ECEs offer the highest quality care and positive learning experiences in our daycare and preschool. Full time or part time. Call for a tour or visit us at parkdalechildcare.ca.

Rainbow Express Daycare...................... 250-382-2314 Enriched preschool style program in a daycare setting.

Visit our website at rainbowexpressdaycare.com.

Ross Bay Preschool................................ 250-383-7445 Positive/supportive program motivating children to learn, discover and grow through play. Daily outdoor time, special guests and community events! rossbaypreschool @shaw.ca.

The Sir James Douglas Playschool....... 250-389-0500 Fun, creative and educational ECE program for 3-5 year olds to grow and develop life long skills. Come play and learn in our bright and modern centre in Fairfield.

Victoria Montessori................................. 250-380-0534 Unique, innovative learning environment combining the best of Montessori and Learning Through Play. Open yr. round. 30mths–K. victoriamontessori.com.

VIEW ROYAL A Secret Garden Preschool.................... 250-380-8293 Program built on Christian values. Monthly themes, weekly topics and daily activities. asecretgardenpreschool@ shaw.ca.

Island Kids Academy View Royal........... 250-727-2929 High quality child care (ages 1-5). Preschool curriculum offered within a warm, caring child care environment.

Character development using the Virtues Project. Access

to community programs including swimming, skating, Victoria Conservatory of Music. Part-time spaces available. islandkids.ca.

Little Friends Childcare Center.............. 250-479-8423 Infant/Toddler........................................... 250-479-9796 For a creative learning environment. Licensed group facility. Infants/Toddlers/Preschool. littlefriendschildcare.ca.

Little Wonders Preschool (View Royal OSC)..................................... 250-744-2718 A creative and supportive program that will prepare your child for a lifetime of learning! Out of School Care is also available for school aged children. viewroyalosc.com.

View Royal Childcare.............................. 250-479-8067 Preschool structured, high quality childcare. Victoria Conservatory of Music classes. Part time spaces available.

2.5-5year olds. viewroyalpreschool@live.com.

View Royal Preschool.............................. 250-479-8067 Exciting inclusive program in a safe and exceptional care environment. 3-5 year olds. Outside play and themes enrich this program. viewroyalpreschool.com.

Mill Bay / Cobble Hill Cedar Montessori..................................... 250-710-9007 A beautiful rural setting where children are lovingly supported to learn at their own pace within a stimulating Montessori environment.

Starchild Centre........................................ 250-929-3240 Infant/toddler 3 to 5 daycare combines the best of Montessori and Waldorf. Our 9 acre hobby farm enables each child to have a garden plot, participate in planting tree, feeding animals, and other outside adventures. starchildcentre.ca.

DUNCAN Queen Margaret’s School......................... 250-746-4185 Early Childhood Education Program. Co-ed nurturing curriculum to develop the whole child. Healthy snacks and lunch provided. qms.bc.ca.

Queen of Angels Early Learning Centre............................... 250-701-0433 We believe that the development of the whole child (physically, socially, emotionally, cognitively, and spiritually) encourages each individual to develop to their full potential. We offer an enriched full day program for 3–5 year olds based on Kindergarten readiness.

Sunrise Waldorf School Preschool........... 250-743-7253 A warm, nature-based Waldorf rhythm where wonder is nurtured. Led by Waldorf trained ECE teachers. sunrisewaldorfschool.org.

Chemainus St. Joseph’s Preschool........................... 250-246-3191 An enriching preschool program allowing children to grow as individuals in a safe and nurturing Christian environment.

Qualicum Beach Children’s Discovery Centre................... 250-752-4343 Our program recognizes the uniqueness of each child and provides a nurturing, safe and creative learning environment. Preschool, Groupcare, Out of School care. ECE qualified staff. childrensdiscoverycentre@hotmail.com.

Little Star Children’s Centre................... 250-752-4554 Mother, Daughter owned and operated. Earth friendly preschool education inspired by nature. Infused with fun and creative daily yoga practices! Licensed group care.

Enthusiastic ECE instructors. littlestardaycare.ca

Port Alberni John Paul II Catholic School.................. 250-723-0637 “Where children grow and learn through play.” We provide a program that will inspire development physically, socially, emotionally, cognitively, creatively and spiritually.

May 2015 51

Dispatches from Lisbon

A

CFSA Summer Sail Training Programme Learn to Sail at the Canadian Forces Sailing Association! We offer courses for Youth and Adults of all ages, from beginner to advanced.

Our instructors are nationally certified through the Canadian Yachting Association (CYA) and trained in how to teach sailing, as well as first aid and boat rescue. We follow the CYA CANSail curriculum of instruction.

Questions about the programme? Call our Program Manager, Candy Daily 250-857-2823

To register: call the Pacific Activity Centre, 250-363-1009

CFSA 2015 Dinghy Sailing Programme: Schedule & Prices DND Member / Non Course Name Age DND Price Member Adult CANSail Basic (Tues 18 + $300 / $330 & Thurs Evenings) June 29 – July 3 Wet Feet 4 yrs – 7 yrs $ 230 / $ 270 Opti Basic Under 10 $ 230 / $ 270 CANSail Basic 10 yrs – 17 yrs $ 240 / $ 280 June 30 – July 23 Adult CANSail Basic (Tues 18 + $300 / $330 & Thurs Evenings) July 6 – July 10 Opti Basic Under 10 $ 230 / $ 270 Opti Advance Under 10 $ 230 / $ 270 CANSail Basic 10 yrs – 17 yrs $ 240 / $ 280 July 6 – July 30 Adult CANSail Basic (Mon 18 + $300 / $330 & Wed Evenings) July 13 – July 17 Wet Feet 4 yrs – 7 yrs $ 230 / $ 270 Opti Basic Under 10 $ 230 / $ 270 CANSail Basic 10 yrs – 17 yrs $ 240 / $ 280 July 20 – July 24 Opti Basic Under 10 $ 230 / $ 270 Opti Advance Under 10 $ 230 / $ 270 CANSail Basic 10 yrs – 17 yrs $ 240 / $ 280 July 27 – July 31 Wet Feet 4 yrs – 7 yrs $ 230 / $ 270 Opti Basic Under 10 $ 230 / $ 270 Opti Advance Under 10 $ 230 / $ 270 CANSail Basic 10 yrs – 17 yrs $ 240 / $ 280 July 28 – Aug 20 Adult CANSail Basic (Tues 18 + $300 / $330 & Thurs Evenings) Aug 4 – Aug 7 * Wet Feet – 4 yrs – 7 yrs $ 184 / $ 216 * Opti Basic Under 10 $ 184 / $ 216 * CANSail Basic 10 yrs – 17 yrs $ 192 / $ 224 * Aug 5– Aug 26 Adult CANSail Basic (Mon 18 + $300 / $330 & Wed Evenings) Aug 7 – Aug 23 Adult CANSail ADVANCE ( 18 + $300 / $330 Fri evening, Sat & Sun 9-­‐3) Aug 10 – Aug 14 Opti Basic Under 10 $ 230 / $ 270 Opti Advance Under 10 $ 230 / $ 270 CANSail Basic 10 yrs – 17 yrs $ 240 / $ 280 CANSail ADVANCE (Aug 10-­‐ 10 yrs – 17 yrs $ 440 / $ 480 21, is a 2 wk course) Aug 17 – Aug 21 Wet Feet 4 yrs – 7 yrs $ 230 / $ 270 Opti Basic Under 10 $ 230 / $ 270 CANSail Basic 10 yrs – 17 yrs $ 240 / $ 280 Aug 24 – Aug 28 Opti Basic Under 10 $ 230 / $ 270 Opti Advance Under 10 $ 230 / $ 270 CANSail Basic 10 yrs – 17 yrs $ 240 / $ 280 * CFSA will be CLOSED on BC DAY. Classes will start the TUESDAY August 4. Pro-­‐rated price * CFSA will be CLOSED onFEET, BC DAY. will start Bthe TUESDAY Aug 4. for the WET OPTIC Classes BASIC and CANSAIL ASIC * Pro-rated price for the WET FEET, OPTIC BASIC and CANSAIL BASIC.

Week Of

June 2 – June 25

1001 Maple Bank Rd, Victoria BC V9A 4M2

Email: cfsatraining@gmail.com Web: www.cfsaesq.ca Join our Facebook CFSA ESQUIMALT Training Page

52 Island Parent Magazine

friend recently told me her neighbour’s metaphor about his son with autism.

He compared having a child to taking a trip to Spain—the anxiety of culture shock coupled with the wonderment of seeing first hand something that before you could only vaguely imagine. Having a child with autism, he said, was like getting on that plane to Spain, but landing instead in Norway. He loved Norway. He couldn’t imagine climbing back up the stairs of the aircraft and flying somewhere else. And yet there was still a part of him that longed for at least a glimpse of Madrid.

She told me this the day after Angus was diagnosed with autism. It was the right thing to say, so much more right than “I’m sorry,” which isn’t at all the sentiment I want people to have when they think about my son. Angus is the same kid now as before he was diagnosed. To extend the travel metaphor, all that changed on the day of Angus’s assessment was that we were given some rough coordinates of where our plane had landed.

All kids on the spectrum are different.

Just because Angus has autism doesn’t mean we’re in Oslo. Our plane touched down in Lisbon. Mike and I have spent three and a half years strolling around a place that looks close to the one we imagined, but isn’t. Looking for landmarks we were assured we’d spot, but haven’t. Knowing we’re not actually in Spain is a relief. Now we can stop comparing our surroundings to the ones in guidebooks, to the stories of our friends’ Spanish adventures. We can simply appreciate the wonders of Portugal.

We can stop repeating ourselves in Spanish, wondering why our efforts aren’t easily understood. Instead, we’ll learn Portuguese.

I can’t relate to that dad’s experience of Norway, but I can relate to the feeling of ending up someplace you hadn’t prepared for. It’s hard to orient yourself in a country you never expected to visit. Portugal is amazing. But that doesn’t mean I don’t ever wonder about Spain, that I don’t feel a bit sad thinking of the adventure I expected to have. It’s hard, all your friends comparing their Spanish expeditions with each other when your travel stories and theirs at times feel miles apart.

This column marks four years of Mater-

nity and Beyond, the first column written when I was seven-months pregnant with Angus. In the beginning, when I was writing about Angus’s firsts—solids, teeth, colds, words—I’d get emails from parents telling me their experience was so similar to mine. That they could relate completely.

Maternity & Beyond Laura TRUNKEY But babies become toddlers, then children.

Their personalities emerge. Sometimes it’s difficult coming up with something to write about, something that might strike a chord with a handful of readers and not just the ones who know and love my son.

I wrote this column for last month’s issue, but it wasn’t right, and I wasn’t ready: to commit the word “autism” to paper. To publicly announce that my kid is different. And the thing is, he’s not just my kid. Maternity and Beyond may be my column, my subjective look at our family, but Mike’s helped with these articles from the beginning: proofing them for errors—both in terms of grammar and judgement. Censoring me when he’s certain I’ve revealed a detail Angus will hold against me in the future. This time, he took a stab at helping me finish it. And that was what I needed. After all, the most comforting thing about this trip to Portugal is that I’m not alone. I have my two McLean men as travel partners. And while we may not have a road map for this journey, I’m confident that together we’re bound to end up exactly where we’re meant to be.

My friend’s neighbour must have gotten his metaphor from the lovely piece “Welcome to Holland” by Emily Perl Kingsley. Find it at child-autism-parent-cafe.com/ welcome-to-holland.html Laura Trunkey is mother to the amazing Angus and the author of a forthcoming short fiction collection from House of Anansi. Email laurajtrunkey@gmail.com. kidsinvictoria.com

Ad Directory All Fun........................ 55 Alpine Stables............. 45 Angela Voll Tutor......... 21 Arbutus Grove Children’s Centre.... IFC Artistic Statement....... 18 Ballet Victoria............. IBC BCRPA....................... 49 Buddies Toys............. IBC Burnside Gorge........... 37 Byte Camp................. 48 Camp Narnia.............. 55 Camp Pringle.............. 27 Camp Qwanoes..........BC Camp Thunderbird........ 3 Canadian Forces Sailing Association... 52 Cathedral School......... 30 City Centre Park.......... 16 Conseil Scolaire.......... 10 Cridge Centre............. 13 Discovery School........ 42 Dora the Explorer........ 15 Dr. Joslin, Dr. Morin & Associates.......... IFC Eaton Arrowsmith........ 55 Emmanuel Preschool.... 6 Erin Wallis Photography............ 37 Evergreen School........ 45 Falcon Gymnastics...... 21 Four Seasons Musical Theatre...... IFC GNS Marine Adventure................. 9 Gordon Head Recreation.............. 18 Happy Baby Sleep Solutions................. 15 Highland Pacific Golf... 13 Huckleberry Baby........ 45 IMAX.......................... 34 Island Farms............... 28 Island Montessori........ 31 Kardel Consulting........ 41 Kate Rubin.................. 20 Lansdowne Preschool................ 30 Leap Forward Dance... 27 Lexie’s Little Bears...... 54 Lifestyle Markets......... 34 Maxine Fisher............. 23 Miles of Smiles........... 27

IslandParent.ca

Momease.................. IFC Mothering Touch........... 5 North Cowichan Parks...................... 44 Oak & Orca..... 23, 33, 46 OCEAN 98.5............... 39 Pacific Northwest Raptors..................... 9 Park Sands................. 43 Patricia Lane.............. 17 Rainbow Express......... 17 Restart Computers...... 27 Roy’s Photography........ 6 Royal BC Museum........... 16, 49 Saanich Dental............. 7 Saanich Recreation....... 1 Serious Coffee............ 33 Spina Bifida Association............... 2 St. Joseph’s, Chemainus............. 45 St. Margaret’s............. 31 St. Michaels University School...................... 6 Stages....................... 35 Sunrise Waldorf.......... 36 Sylvan Learning.......... 40 The Children’s Treehouse............... 44 Thrifty Foods............... 29 TJ’s The Kiddies Store... 7 Tom Lee Music........... 30 UVic Vikes................. IBC Vancouver Island Baby Fair................ 56 Victoria Midwives.......... 4 Victoria Academy of Ballet.................. 36 Victoria Children’s Choir........................ 8 Victoria Gymnastics..... 43 Victoria Pediatric Dental....................... 9 Victoria Synchro.......... 21 VIHA........................... 38 Vitamin Shop................ 3 Welcome Wagon......... 20 West-Mont School...... 37 West View Plumbing & Ventilation............ 14 Westshore Parks & Recreation.............. 19

Island Business & Professional Directory

Move to the head of the class.

One Tutor

One Student Your Home

Smart Tutor Referrals.com Professional In-Home Tutorial Support

Call 250-544-1588 to learn more.

Does your child have difficulty reading?

• can’t read words just read earlier • letter reversal • symptoms of dyslexia • “sounds out” words but can not blend them correctly • confuses similar sounding words • avoids reading/poor speller I offer an effective program that works!

Call for more information or to arrange your individualized one-on-one tutoring solution.

Brenda Osadchy 778-440-0997

totallearningservices2014@gmail.com

Send Us Your Stories!

Island Parent is looking for articles for upcoming issues.

Some of our best content comes from people just like you— Vancouver Island parents who are passionate about their families and are dealing with the day to day issues of raising children in our community. Share your experiences, your thoughts on a particular issue, your ideas on places to see or projects to do—anything related to parenting.

Check our Writer’s Guidelines at islandparent.ca for specific information on submissions.

We’d love to hear from you. Please email submissions to editor@islandparent.ca.

May 2015 53

“In the Spring, at the end of the day, you should smell like dirt!” ~ Margaret Atwood

Not Your Average Woodpecker

W

e all know someone—a friend, a child or a significant other—who likes to do things a little differently than everyone else. Who likes, as the popular saying goes, to march to the beat of their own drum. One of my favourite birds to encounter in the forest is exactly like that.

Instead of marching, it pecks to the beat of its own drum. It is a woodpecker with a twist.

One of five species of woodpeckers in Victoria, the northern flicker has its own unique take on what it is to be a woodpecker.

Unlike others of its kind, it isn’t able to peck into hard wood to get insects, so it hunts somewhere else instead. It is a woodpecker that feeds outside of the box.

I remember the first time I saw a flicker in the forest. It was an early summer’s day,

Open House June 14, 12 to 2pm

Celebrating our New Infant/Toddler Nature Program as well as our NEWLY renovated Bear Den! Come see what we have been building with the trees from our own property!

Registration for September on now! www.lexieslittlebears.com

778-432-3600 54 Island Parent Magazine

Photo: Teddy Llovet

the path dappled with sunlight and new leaves providing some shelter from the sun.

There it was, just ahead, a large bird that I could not place. I watched it hop along

and saw that it was probing at the ground.

I shifted slightly and off it flew revealing a white patch on its rump and bright salmon coloured feathers on the underside of its wings and tail. It found shelter in a nearby tree and perched on a horizontal branch.

I was intrigued and perplexed. Then, I remembered the words “flying anteater.”

I had found it: the woodpecker that didn’t peck wood!

Staying true to its flair for being unique, the flicker has a slightly curved bill that isn’t good for pecking into hard wood. They can still make cavity nests in trees like other woodpeckers, but they have to choose trees that are soft and decaying.

I had recently heard of a woodpecker who took insects from the ground instead of getting them from a tree. Now, here it was, a northern flicker hammering at the ground and using its long tongue to fish out ants and beetles.

Many woodpeckers, like the pileated, have strong chisel-like beaks for excavating holes in trees in search of a tasty insect treat or for making a nest for their young. Staying true to its flair for being unique, the flicker has a slightly curved bill that isn’t good for pecking into hard wood. They can still make cavity nests in trees like other woodpeckers, but they have to choose trees that are soft and decaying. We all have our talents though, and the flicker’s bill is perfect for acquiring ants and beetles from the ground or even straight from an ant’s nest.

All woodpeckers have extremely long tongues that serve them well when hunting for insects. A woodpecker’s tongue starts at its eyes or nose, wraps around the skull and then extends well beyond the end of its beak. As if that wasn’t intriguing enough, kidsinvictoria.com

the woodpecker’s tongue is covered in sticky saliva and ends in a variety of tips, including sharp barbs to spear insects.

Not to be outdone by its wood-pecking family, the flicker sets the record in North America for having the longest tongue of them all. Its tongue can extend four centimetres, or about twice as long as its beak.

It is the perfect tongue for dipping into an ant’s nest or for grabbing insect larvae un-

Nature Notes rEED osler derground. Flickers have even been known to break into cow patties to find the insects inside. Yum! It is quite common to flush a flicker from its feeding spot on the ground on a walk in the forest like I did. Look for their white rump as they fly away and their bright salmon coloured feathers. Also, notice the way they often perch horizontally on a branch instead of leaning against a tree with their tail, as most woodpeckers do.

Sometimes you may even come across an ant’s nest with large holes in it. That is a sure sign that a flicker in the neighbourhood has been enjoying an ant buffet.

Chances are that if you haven’t seen a flicker yet you’ve heard them. They often announce their presence with a loud single note call that sounds like “KLEE-YER.” If you hear a loud drumming on an electrical box or telephone poll nearby that could be a flicker too. These are the perfect instruments for a male flicker to demonstrate his musical prowess to the ladies.

Just the other day I heard drumming at Mill Hill Regional Park and saw a flicker perched on top of a lamppost drumming away. So go out for a stroll in a Regional Park or join us on a guided walk and keep your ears tuned to the call of the woodpecker that sings its own tune and isn’t afraid to do things a little differently than the rest.

Keep your eyes to the ground and you just might catch a glimpse of a northern flicker doing what it does best.

For more information on CRD Regional Parks and the nature programs schedule see crd.bc.ca/parks Reed Osler is a Park Interpreter with CRD Regional Parks.

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55

Cut It Out!

Tips from Parent Educator Allison Rees of LIFE Seminars

No Bad Choices!

O

ffering children choices goes deeper than eliminating power struggles. It allows your children to develop a sense of who they are. We are defined by the choices that we make. “I like this, I don’t like that.” “I want to do this, I don’t want to do that.” This is autonomy and the process of discovering and fulfilling our true nature. Judging children’s choices as “bad” is just as faulty as judging a child as “bad.” Worse than that, overcontrolling a child so there are no choices keeps a child immature. This control increases levels of anxiety in children and as they mature and are required to make choices they feel anxious and experience self-doubt. What if I make the wrong choice? The what ifs are endless when anxiety runs the show. So if you’re making all the choices, Cut it Out! It’s not easy to let go and watch our kids struggle when we know ourselves what they should do. It can be especially

56 Island Parent Magazine

hard if we are wrapped up in our child’s success. Parents who struggle with low self-esteem often fear what others think of their parenting. When this happens appearances outweigh the acceptance of the child. Conditions take over as our children are required to be the best, be good and basically act like adults.

As children develop, they will try many different activities, styles of dress, and peer groups. If they have a secure sense of self, they will be able to choose what fits with who they are, rather than being influenced to become like everyone they spend time with. We can help our children develop self-confidence in their ability to handle things in the world through allowing them to take responsibilities and to do things their way. When we respect their decisions we allow them to fulfill their ambitions not ours. Most importantly, they develop the resilience to trust their choices as a part of their own personal journey.

If you find yourself offering feedback to a child regarding his or her choice try to avoid using evaluative terms like good or bad, right or wrong. Get curious about the need of the child and validate that need by putting it into words. “You wanted to be included.” Coach the child’s internal voice by getting curious, “What could that look like?” Help your child grow an internal self that is resilience.

LIFE Seminars has two books available, Sidestepping the Power Struggle and The Parent Child Connection. See lifeseminars.com.

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