WestCoast Families October/November 2021

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Teen Adoption Time for a Cell Phone?

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‘Fall Back’ Sleep Tips

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BC Bird Trails FOR FAMILIES

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Vancouver Island’s Parenting Resource for 32 Years

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THE BENEFITS OF YOGA FOR KIDS

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Best Family SUV’s FOR

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FAMILY-FRIENDLY STAYCATIONS FOR SUMMER 2021!

Back-to-School Brain Boosters

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Tweens&Teens 2021

Teen Adoption

IN THIS ISSUE

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Time for a Cell Phone?

Period Prep

OCT/NOV 2021 Jim Schneider Publisher publisher@westcoastfamilies.com Bianca Bujan Editor editor@westcoastfamilies.com

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WHAT’S NEW?

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FRESH FINDS

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POSTPARTUM ANXIETY

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COMMUNICATION

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CELL PHONES

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ADOPTING A TEEN

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WestCoast Families, published by Island Parent Group Enterprises Ltd., is a bimonthly publication that honours and supports parents by providing information on resources and businesses for west coast families. Views expressed are not necessarily those of the publisher.

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FROM OUR TO YOURS

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s a mother of three, I often find myself navigating my way through different phases and milestones of parenting all at once. When my youngest started her first year of kindergarten, my oldest was starting high school, and now, with my two older children, I’m faced with both the tween and teen years simultaneously.

When it comes to navigating the first five years of parenting–from pregnancy to baby to toddler–the resources are endless, but there seems to be little out there about parenting older children. For this reason, we are focusing on the tweens and teens in this issue–from the best age to give your kids cell phones, to prepping for periods, to improving communication with your growing kids, we cover it all.

Healthy Living is also a focus this fall, and sleep is a vital component of leading a healthy life. As we prepare to “fall back” on November 7th, many parents are losing sleep over how to keep their kids’ sleep schedules manageable. Thankfully, we have some wise words from a sleep consultant, who provides actionable tips on how we can all survive Daylight Saving Time.

November is National Adoption Awareness Month, the perfect time to talk about the things you may not know about adopting a teen. You’ll be surprised by some of the points shared, and as an adoptee myself, it’s an important time to think about the children who are still looking for their forever homes.

Through reading this issue, we hope that you’ll feel prepared for all that’s coming in the future. May you get more sleep, feel more organized, and find more connection with your kids, young and old.

From our family to yours, Bianca Bujan, Editor

October/November 2021

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WHAT’S NEW? RONALD MCDONALD HOUSE PLAYROOM GETS A NEW LOOK THANKS TO ALAIR HOMES Created for sick kids and their families, who are in need of long-term, specialized hospital care in Vancouver, Ronald McDonald House has provided an essential service since opening its doors in 1983. The playroom at Ronald McDonald House has been an area of great importance to those families who seek respite in the home, providing a place where kids can hang out, let off steam, and of course, play. After many years of use, the space was in great need of a refresh.

Alair Homes, a Vancouver Island-based company known for building luxury custom homes and large-scale renovations, had worked with the Edmonton Ronald McDonald House in the past, and were happy to step in when they discovered that a playroom overhaul was needed at the Vancouver location. Designer James Banfield (James Banfield Design) stepped in and designed a true wonderland for kids, and now the project is underway, with construction completion set for the end of fall. The new space will feature functional play spaces, permanent fixtures and dedicated, directed play areas that foster imagination, individual bins and cabinets that can be easily sanitized.

Image: Keaton Bridal from Alair Homes, at work on the renovation.

Learn more: rmhccanada.ca

HATLEY LAUNCHES BUY ONE, GIVE ONE PAJAMA PROJECT Canadian children’s clothing brand, Hatley (best known for their high-quality rain gear) has launched the Pajama Project, scheduled to run throughout the month of October.

Through this program, for each pair of pajamas purchased in store or online in baby and/ or kids sizes, one pair will be donated to a local charity or organization that corresponds to the province.

Participating charitable organizations across Canada include Mamas for Mamas (BC), Alberta Children’s Hospital Foundation (Alberta/Saskatchewan, Manitoba and Territories), Pediatric Oncology Group of Ontario (Ontario), Fondation du Centre Jeunesse de la Montérégie (Quebec) and Emma’s Pajamas (Maritimes). The donated pajamas will be sent to the designated organization in time for the holidays.

Learn more: hatley.com

RUBEN’S SHOES SOCIETY CELEBRATES NATIONAL MAKE A DIFFERENCE DAY Imagine as a parent, not having enough to provide the basic necessities for your children.

Imagine putting your kids to bed at night with empty stomachs because there’s never enough food. Imagine struggling every day to find clean water for your family. Imagine not being able to send your kids to school, where they’ll get the education they need to break the cycle of poverty, because there’s no money for school fees or uniforms. Then imagine the helplessness you would feel knowing that your kids were destined for the same life you’re living.

Rueben’s Shoes Society is a local charity that provides education and opportunity for vulnerable children in the Dominican Republic. On October 23, they want you to help change the narrative for the parents and children who live in this cycle of poverty by helping to raise awareness and funds for these families in need. Visit #NationalMakeADifferenceDay on October 23 to follow along and show your support, and make a donation anytime to help empower the next generation of leaders and break the cycle of poverty.

Learn more: rubensshoes.com 6

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Contests

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HowlOver Canada

North Pole Express

The Halloween season in Vancouver might still look a little different this year, but a visit to FlyOver Canada is still a treat! Join Biker Mama the Witch on A Spirited Halloween Ride for the whole family.

HowlOver Canada lets you soar through the skies with a band of spooky sidekicks on your way to a music festival that’s out of this world.

Come along on this exciting and immersive adventure to meet Santa Claus at the North Pole.

Your journey begins at the Candyland Station where Hot Chocolate flows like a river and you are sure to bump into a few unique characters!

The complete Halloween experience includes: A breathtaking 8-minute flight ride experience, HowlOver Canada Themed Pre-Show, Halloween theming and spine-tingling decorations. Costumes are welcome and encouraged for all ages!

Enter now for a chance to win a family 4 pack contest for two adults and two children to enjoy this spooktacular experience.

Board the train and enjoy 50 minutes of fun, filled with cookies and songs, as you make your way to the North Pole, after making a pit stop to pick up some of Santa’s friends.

Once at the North Pole, kids of all ages will enjoy meeting many of Santa’s elves and friends, not to mention meeting Santa and Mrs. Claus themselves!

Make sure to take the time to enjoy all of Santa’s favourite activities, especially his miniature train ride through his expansive and magical workshop.

Presented by FlyOver Canada: flyovercanada.com

Enter now for a chance to win the Grand prize Family Four Pack of 1st Class tickets to any departure on either of the first two weekends.

Presented by The Railway Museum of British Columbia: wcra.org

YNOTFORTOTS Developed by co-founders Lindsay Richter and Mohit Sodhi, YNOTFORTOTS is an organization that strives to enrich the lives of children by providing them with access to the educational and recreational resources they need and deserve. Their unique item registry and donation structure ensures all donated items go directly to the children who need them most. Due to all the cuts in funding, there are many schools who need help getting equipment and the tools necessary to enrich the lives of their students and to support their education.

How it works: schools and parents can request an item which will then be added to an online item registry listed only by requested product and school name (the names of the parents who seek support are kept confidential). Donors may browse the registry and contact the organization if they have items to donate. Through this format, all donated items are directly delivered to the individual who submitted the request.

Learn more: ynotfortots.com

DON’T WAIT— BETTER GRADES THIS SCHOOL YEAR BEGIN NOW! NOW ENROLLING FOR ALL PROGRAMS!

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SHOP

Fresh Finds Smash + Tess Audrey Romper

Let’s be honest, sweats and rompers have become style staples since we’ve spent more time at home. But a return to regular routines that take us beyond the couch, doesn’t mean that we have to sacrifice those comfy clothes. The great thing about Smash+Tess is that with a few accessories, you can style your favourite romper for any occasion. Take the new Audrey romper, for example.

The long sleeves and 60s-style mock neck make this a fall must-have item, and the lightweight rayon, cotton, and bamboo blend make this piece versatile for the unpredictable weather that autumn has in store. Add a belt, heels, and a cute leather jacket and you’re ready to hit the town!

From cozy on the couch to chic in the city, this romper’s got you covered. smashtess.com | $125

Easy Daysies Daily Schedules Every Day Starter Kit From morning routines to daily chores, keeping your kids on track and on time can be a huge challenge for parents. The Daily Schedules offered by Easy Daysies offer a great way to help your kids become more cooperative and independent, and less anxious about the day’s events. Made with 70% recycled materials, and comprised of a series of colourful, visual magnetic tasks, these schedules will keep your family organized in a fun way, making it easy for kids to get involved. You can now buy your Easy Daysies Daily Schedules at a London Drugs location near you. easydaysies.com | $26

Marcelle New Age Precision Night Cream Looking for an anti-wrinkle cream that won’t break the bank? Canadian brand Groupe Marcelle has recently released a new, clean, anti-wrinkle firming cream that gives you a visibly smoother, supple, plump and luminous look. The day and night creams are made of key ingredients, such as peptides, which help reduce the appearance of wrinkles and vertical lines, and fermented, natural-origin oat extract, which contains prebiotics, probiotics and postbiotics to make your skin look radiant. marcelle.com | $36 8

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BUCK Buckwheat Drink & Gelato When it comes to dairy-free alternatives, it can be tricky to find something that doesn’t lack taste. This Vancouver-based startup is passionate about nourishing families and sharing the benefits of buckwheat, with dairy-free beverages and gelatos that taste great, and are good for you too. The all-natural, slow-melt, vegan gelato is infused with Canadian harvested buckwheat and comes in fun flavours like Maple Walnut and Strawberry Sass, and the slightly sweet BUCK mylk beverage makes for the perfect dairy-free swap. simplybuck.com | $6 (Mylk), $10 (Gelato)

Playlist Kitchen Book If you love 90s music and drool-worthy dishes, then this music/meal mashup will be a hit in your home.

The upbeat cooking experience found inside the pages of Playlist Kitchen will help you reconnect with the comfort of the kitchen and the magic of the music that brings memories to life. Packed with 81 recipes paired with the 81 playlists that brought them to life, you’ll fall in love with cleverly titled dishes such as, “Hit Me Basil One More Time – Thai Basil Chicken”, and “I’ll Make Love Tofu – Garlic Tofu and Green Beans.” beckyvandrunen.com | $42

Kilne Steak Knife Set Steak knives aren’t just for steak. These powerful table knives, made with steel, serrated blades, will become a staple in your kitchen for all your slicing needs. They’re great for cutting everything from a crusty baguette to tomatoes to a hearty roast. A Canadian cookware company, Kilne has created this six-piece steak knife set to be worthy of professional chefs but designed for home cooks. The knives come complete with a stylish block made of acacia wood that won’t dull the blades and magnetic sides that easily connect to the larger knife set blocks offered. All products are designed in Canada, are chef-approved, and come with a lifetime guarantee. kilne.com | $165 October/November 2021

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HEALTHY LIVING

SLEEP: Surviving Daylight Saving Time How to get your kids to fall asleep when the clocks ‘fall back’

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he time change is coming (again) and you may be wondering how this is going to affect your child’s sleep patterns. This small change can really mess with your entire family’s sleep schedule, and if you already have an early riser it may seem unfathomable to be starting the day at 4:30am instead of your “leisurely” 5:30am wake-up call, ah!

During the “fall back” time change, we will move our clocks back an hour at 2am on November 7th. This is considered the end of Daylight Saving Time (DST) and the beginning of early morning wake-ups for most families.

How can we make this easier on our babies—and ourselves—and maybe even improve our sleep situation in the meantime? Here are some tips to help your kids fall asleep as our clocks “fall back” once again:

ADJUST AHEAD OF TIME.

Some families find it really valuable to help their children adjust leading up to the time change. This can be a great solution for you and your children to not even feel a blip when the time change comes.

The week prior to the time change, start by shifting your bedtime and your morning wake-up routine. For example,

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if your child goes to bed regularly at 7pm, shift bedtime to 7:15pm. Continue to shift this each evening by 15 minutes until you reach 8pm, which will soon become 7pm again soon!

Same with wake up, if your little one usually wakes up at 6:30am and calls out, wait 10–15 minutes before going to get them to start the day. Every day, wait a little longer until you are closer to 7:30am which will soon become 6:30am again.

WAIT FOR THE CHANGE TO HAPPEN AND THEN ADJUST QUICKLY.

Similar to jet lag—sometimes it can actually be helpful to just dive in and go with the new time knowing that there may be a few nights or mornings with extra disruptions. On day one of the time change, try putting your little one to bed around their normal bedtime. You can do this by waking them from naps if needed. So, if they are normally in bed at 7pm, then put them down then, even though it may feel like 8pm.

During our fall-back time change, bedtime typically isn’t the main challenge, it’s the wake-up time. Your normal wakeup time of 6:30am, now turns into 5:30am which can be a tough adjustment for all involved.

USE VISUAL AIDS WITH OLDER CHILDREN.

It can be helpful to teach your children about acceptable wake-up times through the use of visual aids. There are many great products out there to help with the transition, like wake-up clocks that turn a different colour or light up when it’s time to start the day. You can set the time that it is okay to get out of bed and during the time change, it can be helpful to set the wake-up time to a little earlier than normal so your child can adjust. For example, if your little one wakes up at 7am, this will suddenly feel like 6am, so set the clock for 6:30am or 6:15am for the first few days and slowly edge back to your 7am wake up as their body adjusts.

USE YOUR BEDTIME ROUTINE AS A FORM OF ENCOURAGEMENT.

Your bedtime routine can be a really great way to help stretch the time if you are struggling. If your child is tired earlier than normal because the new 7pm is actually 8pm, try stretching the awake time a bit with an extra-long bath.

Most children will enjoy playing in the bath for a little while longer and it can be a really nice distraction and a great

place for imaginative play. A bedtime snack can also be a great way to help your child ease into bedtime, usually, a bedtime snack can give your little one an extra boost of energy to stay awake happier and longer.

Overall, during the time change, we usually find that it can take about a week for your child to fall back into their normal routines and wake-up patterns. If they are struggling longer than this or having a hard time adjusting, it is likely because their little bodies are overtired. When a child is overtired at bedtime it can lead to overnight wakings, night terrors and even earlier morning starts because naturally overtired children spend more time in light stages of sleep. So you may need to adjust bedtime earlier for a period of time as they take a bit longer to adjust.

This time change can be such a challenge for families, with overtired children, early mornings and schedules that go out the window, so I imagine that parents everywhere are hoping that this time change may become one of the last. Here’s to hoping!

Amanda Archibald is an RN, Sleep Consultant and Mama, and the Owner of The Mama Coach in Vancouver, BC. She is an expert in the field of babies and children and helps families navigate sleep challenges every day.

October/November 2021

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HEALTHY LIVING

Why It’s Time to Talk About Postpartum Anxiety A s for many women, becoming a mother wasn’t easy for me. I returned from my honeymoon pregnant, a surprise that took me from disbelief to acceptance to joy, and then despair when I miscarried. My husband and I hadn’t planned to start a family so early in our marriage, but at the time I felt the grief from losing my baby could only be quelled by becoming pregnant once again.

Over the next few years, we found ourselves on a path of conception and loss. Each monthly period sent me reeling into feelings of inadequacy, convinced my body was betraying me. After spending so many years trying to prevent pregnancy, the idea that conceiving could be so hard seemed unimaginable. Other women seemed to float through pregnancy without any difficulties, and I imagined they were all sharing in a sacred experience I would never have. While a wiser part of me knew better, I had fully bought into our society’s message that if I couldn’t have a child, I was broken. In my mind, they were whole and I was not.

At first, I spoke very little about the miscarriages because I was too embarrassed. I felt very much alone in the pain and the sadness and the grief. But in time I found the courage to voice these emotions, and soon other women—friends and family who had never previously talked to me about infertility or miscarriage—began to share their stories of loss and soothe me with their honesty. I thought about the many women who had struggled before me. Imagine how many women in over four billion years of human existence have been brought to their knees through infertility or miscarriage?

After five miscarriages, I became pregnant again. Instead of celebrating, I became hypervigilant about every twinge, cramp, and Braxton-Hicks contraction that moved through my body. My doctor had warned me that I was at risk for delivering prematurely, and so only very late in my pregnancy did I begin to breathe more freely. The birth of my first son was a joy unlike anything else I had known. And each

day after that was filled with the kind of natural gratitude that grows only when one knows hardship intimately.

The pain of our previous losses dissolved in his smiles, and grief dominated my thoughts less and less.

When we decided to try and grow our family, I was less fretful about the negative pregnancy tests and even the miscarriages seemed more manageable. After all, I had a preschooler to distract me. Then, after the birth of my second son, something shifted and I found myself in a darkness I’d never known before. I obsessed about my children’s schedules, lay awake at night going through lists of tasks for the next day, and felt a sense of dread so heavy I could barely breathe.

No amount of meditation, breathwork, or therapy could lift the panic that I woke up to and lived with throughout the day. What I didn’t understand at the time is that I was suffering from a form of postpartum depression rarely identified until recently: postpartum anxiety.

Postpartum depression is typically characterized by feelings of sadness, irritability, tearfulness, changes in appetite, and disturbed sleep, but those weren’t my symptoms at all. And while new mothers recognize they’re feeling out of balance, they assume the lack of sleep, racing thoughts, and need for control are just regular stressors that all new mothers face. That belief, and the message many of us have internalized that we need to be superwomen solving every problem ourselves, prevents many of us from asking for help. But we must. We simply can’t look after other people effectively unless we also look after ourselves.

Here are some facts every new mother should know about postpartum imbalance from the Anxiety and Depression Association of America: • 13% of new mothers experience postpartum depression • 3–5% experience postpartum obsessive-compulsive disorder • 9% experience postpartum post-traumatic stress disorder associated with pregnancy or childbirth • 6% of pregnant women and 10% of postpartum women experience clinical levels of anxiety While these serious conditions usually develop between one and three weeks after delivery, they often aren’t identified until much later. So look for warning signs early, and don’t hesitate to reach out to your professional support systems if you’re unsure about whether you’re experiencing typical emotional and physical adjustments or have crossed the threshold into postpartum anxiety (or depression).

Here’s what to look for: • Constant worry • A feeling of dread or that something bad might happen • Obsessive and irrational thinking patterns • Loss of appetite or voracious appetite • Extreme restlessness • Dizziness, racing heart, nausea or lack of connection with the body • Sleep disturbance (I know, what new mom doesn’t face sleep disruption?)

structures put in place for new moms. Classic anthropological research shows these structures include recognizing a distinct postpartum period, rituals of caring for the new mother, mandated rest and a reprieve from social expectations, support with the day-to-day family operations, and recognition of the sacred role of the mother (aka mothering the mother).

Ours, however, is a strange culture that fails to provide support and care for new moms. Women continue to be the primary caregivers in families, and new mothers rarely have anyone to help at home. Our partners are usually back to work within a few weeks, and we’re left to figure everything out on our own.

What if we had a circle of women who took turns placing soup on our stovetop until we were strengthened once again? What if we did the same in their time of need? What if we supported new moms to nourish and nurture them during this sacred and life-changing time?

What if we came together with great compassion and supported new moms with our collective strength and wisdom?

(This is an excerpt from Michele Kambolis’ new book When Women Rise)

Regardless of whether you have a family history of postpartum or other mental health struggles, it can be deeply honoring to ask a friend or family member to help you with a post-delivery care plan. You can also enlist your partner for this role, but they may need a care plan themselves. Write down what you most need and who can be of help.

In most developing cultures, postpartum disorders are virtually nonexistent largely because of the conscious and protective social

Dr. Michele Kambolis is an acclaimed therapist, author and speaker who has been featured on Good Morning America, HuffPost Live, goop and Raw Beauty Talks. Her latest book, When Women Rise: Everyday practices to strengthen your mind, body and soul, is a timely, transformative and inspiring guide for women who want to bring more joy, power and peace into their lives.

Oct 2 - 31, 2021 10 am to 5 pm 10 h à 17h

Gulf of Georgia Cannery National Historic Site 12138 Fourth Ave., Richmond, BC. 604.664.9009 | Steveston Village gulfofgeorgiacannery.org/events

October/November 2021

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BRANDED CONTENT

Raising Children in Cohousing “Give me that child.”

Our daughter, Lani, was born in 1991. My wife, Miriam, and I were in the midst of planning a cohousing community with a group of other families. At a group meeting one day, Lani began to fuss. One of our friends and future neighbours said, “Give me that child.” He then taught us how to use the little finger as an impromptu soother. Lani calmed immediately.

It was an early and positive experience with cohousing—an intentional, often multi-generational community where future residents band together to co-develop their dream village.

As new parents, Miriam and I really appreciated learning and getting support from other parents in the community. It was a warm and inviting group that went out of their way to support young parents. When Ben was born, neighbours again pitched in to help, offering to take care of Lani while we adjusted to our second one.

To many Canadians, that might sound odd. But in fact, a cohousing community is designed to work that way. It recreates the closeness and safety of a traditional village but within larger cities. Residents get to know each other during construction.

Everyone owns their own home in a traditional sense, but the village itself is designed to encourage community. This design process is a key difference between a conventional neighbourhood and this village model.

Cars are pushed to the edge of the property or underground.

The core is kept for pedestrians only. That makes it a lot quieter and safer. And the setup allows the community to share certain amenities like children play areas, a workshop, a lounge, rooms for out-of-town guests and larger celebration rooms.

Great place for friends: Lani with a gaggle of cohousing friends.

Community support: Neighbour prepares to take Ben on a weekend gold-panning adventure.

“It takes a village to raise a child”

Miriam and I loved raising our kids in this environment. After moving in, we knew the neighbours very well. We were quite happy to allow our kids free reign, playing with their friends wherever they liked.

As the old saying goes, “It takes a village to raise a child.” As a village, that’s exactly what we did. We raised our kids within the village and we helped to keep an eye on everyone else’s kids too. And we did it in a way that could respect the fact that different families have different values and rules.

It’s been 25 years since we first moved into our cohousing community. Although my own children are now grown and on their own, I see their cohousing experience positively influenced their social confidence and creativity.

It’s also why I decided to help a new group called Compass Cohousing get going here in Langley. We already have a good group of seniors, singles and young families involved. Perhaps you might be interested in seeing this is right for you? If so, see compasscohousing.com to learn more.

I found much natural benefit from raising our kids in cohousing. I hope you will too.

Howard Staples is a founding member of Windsong, the first cohousing community formed in Canada back in 1996. He is an advocate for cohousing in general and a trusted advisor to the folks at Compass Cohousing—a 40 unit multigenerational cohousing project in Langley, BC. Learn more at compasscohousing.com.

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Tweens&Teens 2021

Teen Adoption Time for a Cell Phone?

Period Prep

What Age Is Best for Your Tween or Teen to Have a Cell Phone? ”EVERYONE has a cell phone but ME,” whined my twelve-year-old daughter.

“Your twin brother doesn’t have one either,” I responded.

A

variation of this same conversation had been going on between us for years.

Since my twins had lost their North Face jacket, DS games, and other expensive items, I wasn’t too keen to shell out hundreds of dollars for a cell phone.

I knew what my daughter was saying was true, that most of her friends had a cell phone.

According to Techcrunch, the average age a child gets their first smartphone is age 10.

Another survey found that children received smartphones as young as age six.

Despite the statistics and my daughter’s

perpetual whining, I didn’t feel that was a reason for me to buy a cell phone. I finally caved when my twins turned thirteen years old—but not because they were the only ones without cell phones. I did it because it was easier for me for them to have phones.

When they turned 13 years old, they entered high school. At their school, they had the opportunity to stay after class to participate in activities or sports. Sometimes they also received extra help from their teachers which meant varying pick-up times between the two of them.

The frequent changes became confusing (for all of us) and required them to go to the office to use the school phone which meant they missed out on classes. It was much easier for me to send a quick text asking, “What time do you need me to pick you up?” rather than

Cheryl Maguire holds a Master of Counseling Psychology degree.

She is the mother of twins and a daughter. Her writing has been published in The New York Times, Parents Magazine, Chicken Soup for the Soul: Count Your Blessings and many other publications. You can find her at Twitter @CherylMaguire05.

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waiting to hear from them. Or it was easier for me to ask, “Where are you?” instead of frantically calling the school to try to figure it out.

WHAT AGE IS BEST FOR YOUR TWEEN OR TEEN TO HAVE A CELL PHONE?

The answer to this question will be different for every family and even kids within the same family since maturity levels vary for all kids. Here are some factors to consider: Responsible Behaviors: Cell phones are expensive and enable your children to have access to the Internet, so you want to make sure your kid demonstrates responsible behavior by keeping track and caring for material items before you allow them to have their own device. You also want to make sure they can be responsible regarding Internet safety.

Safety: According to the CDC, almost half of all homes did not have landlines. If your tween or teen stays home alone without a landline then they may need a cell phone so they can call 911 or another emergency line if necessary. Your child may also feel safer knowing they are able to contact you when they are alone. There may be other situations when

they would be safer if they had a cell phone such as walking alone to/from the bus stop.

Convenience: The more involved your tween or teen becomes in activities, the easier it will be for both of you if your child has a cell phone for communication. Instead of calling the school or their friends’ parents, you will be able to contact them directly to find out where they are or when they need to be picked up.

Questions to Consider

• Has your child been able to keep track of expensive items (such as jackets, headphones, iPad) for the past month?

• Has your child used good judgement when using the Internet (you can check their search history or opened apps)?

• Does your child follow rules and limits within the home and school?

• Is your child respectful of other people?

• In general, do you feel like you can trust your child?

• In general, do you feel like your child is responsible?

• Does your child walk and wait at the bus stop alone?

• Are there times when your child is alone at home?

• Is your child involved in multiple activities?

Buying a Cell Phone for Your Child If you answered mostly “yes” to the above questions, it might be the right time for you to purchase a cell phone for your kid. Before purchasing the cell phone, discuss with your child how they can demonstrate being responsible by keeping track of their phone and using the Internet safely. You can also let them know that you will be checking their phone to make sure they are being responsible and respectful when using the Internet.

You can also remind them that using a cell phone is a privilege.

My twins have had their cell phone for almost a year now and they have managed to not lose it or break it. The communication between us has been easier when I’ve had to transport them to all their many activities.

And it’s nice to not hear my daughter whining about wanting a cell phone. I figure I have about a two-year reprieve until she starts up again about wanting a car.

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October/November 2021

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10 Things You May Not Know About Adopting a Teen W

hen most people think about adoption, they think about babies. The truth is, there are hundreds of British Columbian teens who are also waiting for a permanent family.

In 2020, almost 450 youth aged out of foster care. This means that 450 youth were forced to navigate adulthood without the support of a family to lean on. 450 youth with no one to walk them down the aisle or visit for the holidays.

Until recently, it was uncommon for teens to be placed for adoption. Today, we recognize that all kids do best when they are part of a loving, stable family. Here are ten facts about teen adoption that may surprise you.

and that they are in care because they’ve done something wrong, which is not the case,“ Anne says. The teens in care aren’t bad kids, they’ve just had bad things happen to them–through no fault of their own.

3. Unconventional families can be a GREAT fit for teens.

Single parents, older parents, two unrelated people who live together, LGBTQ2+ families, people who live in apartments or in the middle of nowhere can all be great fits for teens from care. It doesn’t matter what type of family unit you have, as long as you are ready to bring unwavering love, commitment, and patience to your adoption journey.

4. Teens get to be a part of the decision-making process, too!

All teens 12 and over must legally consent to an adoption in BC. This means that your teen is an active part of the decision-making process. While it may not always feel like your teen wants to be a part of your family, it is important to remember that every teen who is adopted has committed to becoming a part of the family, even if it doesn’t always feel like it. And once they’re a part of your family, teens get to contribute to the bonding process in a meaningful, intentional way. Says adoptive parent Rebecca N., “Tweens and teens can engage in support and therapies in a pretty amazing, productive way.”

5. There are still plenty of “firsts” you can experience with a teen.

1. Most teens WANT to be adopted.

Social worker Anne Melcombe once asked a group of former foster kids if they would have liked to have been adopted. One man, 23 years old, 280 lbs, and covered in tattoos, held up his hand and said, “You bet. I still would!”

There is a misconception that teens don’t want to be adopted.

Oftentimes, a teen’s initial disinterest in being adopting comes from a fear of losing their current community or of their placement not working out. The success that Anne has in finding families for teens convinces her that not only do teens want to be adopted, there are also families who want to adopt them.

2. Teens in foster care aren’t there because they’ve done something “wrong.”

“Too often people assume that teens in foster care are monsters

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You may not experience your child’s first steps or first words, but the teen years are still full of firsts: the first job, first driving lesson, first tattoo (maybe!). Plus, all the “firsts” of new activities and traditions together as a family. Says Rebecca N., “There is so much potential for creativity, athleticism, musicality, and other talents given the opportunity to explore those endeavours. We are constantly amazed by what our teen is capable of accomplishing.”

6. Adults who work with young people are often great candidates to adopt a teen.

Teen adoption can be a great choice for prospective parents who already have experience working with young people. Adoptive mom Rebecca N. says that her background as a sexual health nurse allowed her to dive into conversations about health and safety much more easily.

Rebecca’s teen echoes this: “Something that makes a good adoptive parent for a teen is that you feel you can talk about things you’re comfortable with sharing.” While certainly not a requirement for pursuing a teen adoption, having a background in working with tweens and teens can make prospective adoptive parents a great fit for teen adoption.

9. Parental leave covers teen adoption, too!

Parental leave isn’t just for parents of newborns. Standard parental benefits can be paid for 35 weeks after a child is placed for the purpose of adoption. Two parents can share the 35 weeks of standard parental benefits. For more information, visit the Government of Canada website, or contact your local Services Canada office.

10. Teens are never too old for a forever family.

7. Personality and likes/dislikes factor in when it comes to teen placements.

If you’re active hikers and campers, you have a better chance of matching with a teen who likes the outdoors. Prefer to stay close to home? There’s a homebody out there waiting for a family like yours.

8. There’s a lot of financial assistance available for families adopting a teen.

Did you know BC offers a tuition waiver program at all 25 publicly funded post-secondary institutions, and most teen adoptees are eligible for the waiver? Beyond the waiver, lots of scholarships and bursaries are also available.

If a family came along that wanted to adopt you as an adult, would you consider it? For Chris, the answer is an unequivocal yes. “Right now, if I don’t get housing or I lose it at some point in the future, I don’t know that there’s anyone I can really turn to for help,” adds Chris.

Did you know there are routes to permanency for teens who have aged out of care in BC? Youth from foster care or adult step-children who are 19 or older can be adopted by other adults who supported them before they turned 19. And families who come together after a youth turns 19 can participate in a moral adoption.

To learn more about adoption in BC, visit bcadoption.com.

Elana Mabrito for the Adoptive Families Association of BC (AFABC). For over 40 years, AFABC has promoted and supported adoption in BC, helped caring adults become adoptive and permanency parents, helped families thrive and supported youth in and from government care.

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Ways to Improve Parent & Teen Communication

“M

om please stop interrogating me.”

My daughter says this to me more often than I care to admit. I ask a lot of questions because she does not give me much information. So I’m left wondering, how could I change?

As a mother of twin 15-year-olds, I often struggle to find ways to effectively communicate with them.

A recent research study shared by the Journal of Pediatrics explores ways for parents to improve communication with their teens.

In the study, Dr. Victoria Miller, psychologist, and author of the study explains some prompts that help parents and their teens promote reciprocal communication instead of one-way interactions. She also discusses common mistakes parents of teens make when trying to talk to them.

COMMON PARENTING COMMUNICATION MISTAKES

Focusing only on problems. “One of the biggest mistakes parents make is that they tend to focus only on problems like when our teens make a mistake or don’t live up to our expectations, rather than also communicating with them about their teens’ strengths and what is going well. We can sometimes forget to do that in the busyness of daily life,” says Dr. Miller.

Asking too many questions or offering unsolicited advice. Dr. Miller explains that another mistake parents make is giving advice and lecturing which can backfire and cause teens to shut down–especially when they didn’t ask for advice. It can teach them that they can’t handle problems on their own which can get in the way of their confidence. It is better to wait until they ask for advice.

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Teens can feel that parents are too controlling when they ask too many questions. They can also feel as if they are being interrogated instead of having a conversation, causing them to shut down.

Letting emotions get out of control. Dr. Miller says that when your teen comes to talk to you about a problem, it can be difficult to hide your emotions. She suggests trying not to get angry or upset but instead focus on the fact that they were willing to talk with you. This will help to keep those lines of communication open by listening and offering guidance when asked.

Turn off “the parent alarm.” Parents may react emotionally when their teen tells them something upsetting.

“When your teen comes to you saying something like, ‘Tom asked me out,’ a parent’s first reaction might be, ‘My daughter’s too young to date.’ Instead, try to use this opportunity to navigate conversations about how to have a healthy relationship,” says Dr. Miller.

Don’t over-empathize. Dr. Miller says it may seem counterintuitive to not over-empathize with your teen. But it can backfire. She offers the example that if your child comes to you and says they got in a fight with their best friend, you might want to jump to the rescue and say “Good riddance! I didn’t like them anyway, you’re better off without them.” But if they make up the next day, your child may be too embarrassed to come to you and say they resolved their differences.

WAYS TO IMPROVE COMMUNICATION

According to Dr. Miller, one reason parents make these mistakes is that there is a lot of negative portrayals of teens in the media and in our culture.

“You get the eye roll, ‘Oh well she’s a teenager.’ Which can cause parents to really worry about the teenage years and focus on the problems because they worry about their teens and they want them to do well and succeed,” says Dr. Miller.

It is important to remember that it is normal for parents to have some challenges communicating with their teens.

Focus on how teens years are an exciting time. Most teens are well-adjusted and have good relationships with their families, peers, and they contribute to their communities.

“I think shifting the focus on how well adjusted most teens are and remembering that adolescence is a positive time in development will help to improve communication with your teen,” says Dr. Miller.

Focus on strengths. “It is important to notice and talk with your teen about his or her strengths,” says Dr. Miller.

She explains that strengths don’t mean what they are good at or what they have achieved but rather the qualities about your teen that will contribute to becoming a healthy productive adult. For example, if your daughter is a star soccer player think about what it is that makes her good at it like her work ethic or being a good team player.

“It feels good to notice what is going well for our kids instead of

worrying about that test that didn’t go well or that she is upset with something with a friend,” says Dr. Miller.

Allow for independence. Dr. Miller explains that during adolescence teens are trying to separate themselves from their parents so they might do those things like walk away when you are trying to have a conversation, or keep 10 feet behind you at the mall, or focus on their phone when you are trying to have a conversation.

“This is really because teens need to see themselves as different and separate from their parents in order to figure out who they are and to become more independent. This can make parents feel like they don’t matter but that couldn’t be further from the truth,” she says.

Use conversation prompts. In Dr. Miller’s research study she uses conversation prompts to help the parent and teen facilitate conversations that focus on strengths. The parent/teen pair are instructed to take 10 minutes together and look at examples of strengths and then come back together and talk about it.

Dr. Miller explains that prompts included things like: Why did you choose these strengths for you and the other person?

Give examples of ways the other person demonstrates these strengths you choose.

Did the other person choose strengths that you didn’t expect?

“They both gave strengths for each other which was the reciprocal aspect of the intervention that was really interesting and unique,” says Dr. Miller.

She explains that shifting to the positive can help parents and kids feel better. It doesn’t mean your teen doesn’t have weaknesses, but the key is to support your teen and use their strengths to address those limitations.

She also stresses that it is important to shift your thinking of strength from achievement and what you are good at to who you are as a person.

Cheryl Maguire holds a Master of Counseling Psychology degree. She is the mother of twins and a daughter. Her writing has been published in The New York Times, Parents Magazine, Chicken Soup for the Soul: Count Your Blessings and many other publications. You can find her at Twitter @CherylMaguire05.

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October/November 2021

21

Period Prep Tips for Teens “M

om, where do babies come from?” My precocious five-year-old is looking at me in the rearview mirror. She has impeccable timing, of course. It is just the two of us driving along a busy road with nowhere to pull over. My mind races with all the teachings I learned as a child, all from books by Peter Mayle to Judy Blume. I was not prepared to have this chat now.

I muddle my way through what I hoped was age-appropriate. I kept it simple. She nodded and asked if we could stop for French fries. I happily fulfilled that request, feeling like I dodged the bullet of giving her a full sex-education talk on the fly. It was clear that I had work to do before the next big inquiry. What I found in my research was a wealth of information to help my kids and myself.

I was young when I started my cycles. I thought it was odd until my research discovered that it wasn’t early at all. Family history can play a factor, but not always. According to HealthLink BC, “Girls usually start having menstrual periods between the ages of 11 and 14.” Since my kids were still in elementary school, I thought I had more time until I read, “It can happen as early as age 9 or up to age 15.”

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Flashes of my own awkward moments at school—including having to tie a jacket around my waist to hide surprising arrivals, no vending machines in the girls’ bathroom, or sneaking tampons to my friends during class—motivated me to find ways for my kids to not have those same experiences. I had to figure out how to teach them without being tuned out. I asked my friends, who had already had teenagers for advice.

I started at my local bookstore where I discovered the American Girl series, The Care and Keeping of You. The books contain a head-to-toe guide with visuals about what is happening to their bodies. They also include a part on feelings about what might happen. They cover body changes too,

Danielle Christopher has contributed to many websites and has essays in Anthologies Worth 1000 Words, Parenting with PTSD, Parenting Without Judgement and Wisdom Has A Voice. Danielle lives with her two kids, two cats and one husband in Langley, BC. Twitter: @DanielleASigne.

including tips, how-to’s, and facts from experts (other than mom).

Beginning the conversations with the books helped a lot.

It didn’t feel like I was lecturing. We flipped through a few pages. I showed them where I put the books on the bookshelf for reference. When my youngest was in Grade 3, she had a classmate who started her period at age 8. These conversations needed to happen.

After getting the kids armed with knowledge and supplies at home, I had to figure out how to make sure they were prepared for school too. I remembered hiding a pad in the sleeve of my arm when asking to use the bathroom. You didn’t want to bring your bag because everyone would know what was going on with you.

I prepped a full kit (spare underwear, wipes, plastic bag, Tylenol) for her backpack. She knew about her body and the changes coming up. I told her about the period kit (disguised as a pencil case) that I put in her backpack. She refused to take it to school saying, “No one has one, mom.” I was stumped on what to do. I posed the question to one of my mom groups on Facebook. One mom, Carla, said she got her kids to include the kit in their bags in case a friend needed it.

That worked!

When it came time to help my youngest prepare, I took an altered version of what I did for her sister. I got The Care and Keeping of You books out and read them with her. I read a social story about puberty with her on her augmentative alternative communication (AAC) device. Like her sister, I got a kit for her backpack that included period underwear. I let her team know at school where it was located. She had no prob-

lem transitioning into undergarments. I was hopeful that she had observed enough to be ready when her period arrived.

I have since purchased Dr. Jen Gunter’s book, The Vagina Bible. It is filled with menstrual hygiene topics, myths and more. As my kids become mature teenagers, I hope they continue to get their information from reliable sources, and not social media if they don’t want to ask mom or a trusted adult.

Looking back to that first conversation in the car, I realize that we have done something right as parents. Our kids can ask us anything. We have always had the rule that if you tell the truth, you don’t get into trouble. They covered so much in prenatal classes, why not extend it to what to do years after you bring them home from the hospital?

October/November 2021

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EAT

Recipe: Nacho Boyfriend’s Mix CD Banh Mi Wonton Nachos I

n the 90s I was known for making definitively the greatest mix CDs of the decade. I carefully crafted each playlist with an unreliable dial-up Internet connection, using questionable song procurement methods. I would spend days on each mix-CD title, which was usually some mashup of all the lyrics and the memories they represented. At the time I didn’t understand that the tracks on those mixes would forever link to my joy, permanently imprinting onto the person I would become. What I’ve learned since then, is that food does this too.

What I know for sure about mixes and mashups—whether it’s music or recipes—is that the greatest ones often come from pairing the most unexpected tracks or ingredients. A

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Britney jam following the perfect Savage Garden song, or the flavours of a token Vietnamese sandwich served up on Taco Tuesday. This is the magic. It’s what makes my playlists hit different from yours and what turns a seemingly finite number of available ingredients into new and truly awesome meals that have never existed before you danced them out in your kitchen.

These Banh Mi Wonton Nachos are just that. The rad flavours of banh mi mashed up with the crispiness of wonton wrappers, the delight of a big plate of shared nachos and a playlist curated just for the occasion. It’s like that mix CD long lost under your passenger seat—but with more queso.

GET IT 30–40 wonton wrappers 3 cups vegetable oil for deep frying (or 2 tablespoons of oil if baking) 1–2 teaspoons of salt for sprinkling 1 pound ground chicken 2 cloves garlic 1 tablespoon fish sauce 1 tablespoon soy sauce 2 teaspoons brown sugar 1 tablespoon water Sriracha Queso 2 tablespoons butter 1 clove garlic, minced

MAKE IT Begin by preparing the wonton chips*: In a high-sided pot, heat three cups of vegetable oil to 325°F. Cut your stack of wonton wrappers into triangles by cutting the squares in half diagonally. When the oil is at temperature, carefully add one triangle to the oil to make sure it isn’t too hot. The wonton wrapper should immediately puff up a bit and the oil should bubble around the edges, but the wonton wrapper should not turn brown or burn. Let it cook for about 30 seconds and remove with tongs to a paper towel-lined tray, sprinkle with salt, let cool and give it a taste. When the oil temp is right, repeat with the remaining wonton wrappers a few at a time as to not crowd the oil. Set aside until ready to assemble.

Next, prepare the pickled carrots and jalapenos: Add the rice vinegar, sugar, salt and water to a small bowl. Add the matchstick carrots and sliced jalapenos to the pickling liquid and put them in the fridge for at least 15 minutes (or up to 24 hours) until ready to assemble.

Make the Sriracha Queso: Add the butter to a medium pot over medium-high heat. When the butter is melted, add in the garlic and shallots and cook for 1 minute until softened. Add the flour and let cook another minute. Next whisk in the mayo, Sriracha and milk and keep whisking until it thickens, about 2 minutes. Turn the heat to low and whisk in the cheese, salt and chopped cilantro. Keep warm until ready to assemble.

Make the Banh Mi Chicken: Heat the oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Add the ground chicken to the pan, breaking it up and browning it up until cooked through about

1 shallot, minced 2 tablespoons flour 2 tablespoons Kewpie Mayo (or regular mayo) 2 tablespoons Sriracha 1¼ cups milk ¼ cup shredded mozzarella cheese ¼ teaspoon salt ¼ cup chopped cilantro Pickled Carrots and Jalapenos 1 cup matchstick carrots ½ cup sliced jalapenos 2 tablespoons rice vinegar 1 teaspoon sugar ½ teaspoon salt ¼ cup water

6 minutes. Meanwhile mix up the garlic, fish sauce, soy sauce, brown sugar and water. When the chicken is cooked, pour the sauce over and give it a stir.

To assemble: Arrange the wonton chips in a single layer on a large platter. Top with banh mi chicken, sprinkle with pickled carrots and jalapenos and then drizzle with warm Sriracha queso.

RECIPE PLAYLIST Whitney Houston – My Love Is Your Love; Savage Garden – I Want You; Britney Spears – Stronger; *NSYNC – It’s Gonna Be Me; Jennifer Lopez – Let’s Get Loud; Spice Girls – Stop. *Alternatively, you can brush the wonton wrappers with oil and bake on a sheet pan in a single layer in a preheated oven at 350°F for 2–3 minutes until crisp.

Becky Van Drunen is the owner and lead culinary designer behind the award-winning freezer-meal prep company, Basil and Bacon. She hopes her first cookbook, Playlist Kitchen, will help readers reconnect with the comfort of the kitchen and the magic of the music that brings memories to life.

October/November 2021

25

EXPLORE

Giving Tweens the Gift of Backcountry

P

robably the greatest gift my father ever gave me was our backcountry trips. I don’t remember much about the preparation for those trips–it seemed like we simply got in his ancient Peugeot equipped with sausages and juice crystals and off we went.

I knew that I wanted my own children to have the same experiences I remembered from my time in the BC wilderness, so I decided it was time to take our girls (ages nine and twelve) with my experienced and capable husband on a backcountry canoe trip. I knew it would be a great gift to them, particularly during a time when travel was restricted. A canoe trip to the iconic Bowron Lake was sure to be memorable.

I started planning for the trip when I made a BC Parks reservation. Once I gained access to the reservation date in late July, I decided to then work on booking a cabin for us to stay at both at the beginning and end of the trip. I booked a cabin at Becker’s Lodge located on

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Bowron Lake, which turned out to be a brilliantly run accommodation. I also downloaded the MEC gear list. I looked for information online, but more helpful were books that I borrowed from friends and the library.

As a teacher, I couldn’t resist having some knowledge and area history to pass on to my kids as we travelled. Once we had bought, rented and borrowed the gear we needed and secured rental of a cabin at the beginning and end of the trip, the day arrived. We drove from the Lower Mainland for the better part of a day to Bowron Lake Provincial Park.

The trip began with an orientation at the trailhead with the park ranger. We weighed our gear and, as expected, we had to carry the backpacks. The food was allowed to be stored in the canoes as we wheeled them along the trail. Our first portage was a challenge as we had yet to figure out balancing our canoes on the wheels. We paddled tiny Kibbe Lake and then completed a short portage, which took

us to beautiful Indian Point Lake. We camped on Indian Point Lake with another family at the campsite beside us. It was a beautiful spot overlooked by mountains on all sides and we were lucky that the site did not have many bugs. We swam during the warm afternoon and enjoyed the sunset.

Our second day consisted of a paddle through the rest of Indian Point lake and a gorgeous shallow area. I knew that if we missed the west side of the circuit as a result of the wildfires that were burning there, we may not have seen the wildlife that grazed the grassy shallows. It turned out that there were many grassy areas on the east side, though.

There, we saw beaver houses, eagles, fish, loons, and many plants. At the end of Indian Point Lake was a floating dock that led us to the largest lake on the Bowron Lakes circuit: Isaac Lake.

This is where we got our fishing gear out and on the first day, we caught a gorgeous

Behaviour Support Services Specializes in supporting children with autism, intellectual or developmental disabilities. rainbow trout. I am not much of a fisherperson, but my older daughter was keen and so we tried our luck using borrowed fishing gear.

We caught and ate three tasty rainbow trout in total, frying them on our little stove. Near the end of Isaac Lake, where we had to turn around at the head of the Isaac River due to the fires on the west side, we spotted a cow moose and her two calves.

One morning, we spotted a black bear meandering along the shore. While we were lucky that the park was quiet this year, part of the joy in backcountry travel included the rangers and other paddlers we connected with along the way.

The weather was remarkably warm on our trip, and I do think that trips are that much better when the weather is good. Through the rain and smoke we encountered during the last few days of our trip, we were comfortable in our rain gear and we also used the woodburning stove one evening in the public cabin on Kibbe Lake.

The girls and I wrote in a notebook every evening. We played cards, and we looked at our map since there is no service anywhere in the park for electronic devices. The evenings provided quiet time to reflect on the day and connect with each other.

I feel immensely grateful that we were able to spend time in Bowron Lake Provincial Park this past summer. After we returned home, some of our friends shared that they had thought that we were over-ambitious. Yet, with good planning and our own past experience, it was a wonderful trip. Being in the backcountry together turned out to be the gift I had hoped it would be for my tweens.

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HEALTHY LIVING

How to Organize Your Tween/Teen’s Bedroom

A

ccording to the Canadian Mental Health Association, youth are doing more today than ever before, and are feeling the accompanying stress. While their minds and bodies are going through dramatic changes, they are also tasked with balancing the demands of school, volunteering, jobs, homework, sports/ activities, family obligations, social pressures and finding time for friends.

A survey conducted by Kids Help Phone (Teens Talk: A Report on Youth Issues 2015) showed that 42 percent of teens are stressed, with that number increasing to 50 percent among 18-year-olds.

Now, what if that tween/teen’s bedroom, intended to be their sanctuary, is also a cluttered mess?

According to the Professional Organizers of Canada, 83 percent of Canadians indicate they are extremely disorganized, and 91 percent feel clutter negatively affects their lives.

With Netflix shows like Tidying Up with Marie Kondo and Get Organized with The Home Edit, the topic of clutter has become a cultural obsession, one that is well-documented, and proven to be a source of stress and anxiety. When we get clutter (excessive visual stimuli) out of the way, we create space for the life we want to live.

Michelle Dunn is the founder of ORDER WITHIN REACH—a luxury professional organizing and styling service that transforms homes into bespoke clutter-free havens. She is a Trained Professional Organizer who has completed the Marie Kondo KonMari Consultant Certification Course. Learn more at orderwithinreach.ca (IG: @orderwithinreach).

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The new school year is underway, and tweens/teens are back in the classroom.

Now is a great time to sit down with them to discuss the life-changing benefits of getting their bedroom organized for good mental health, and a productive school experience.

They will take the skills learned today in decluttering, organizing, and setting up systems, with them to university and beyond. Helping your teen/tween choose some new personal touches for their bedroom that reflect their personality and age/stage, can go a long way in building the parent/teen relationship.

Some of the side benefits to getting a teen’s room in order include fewer fights, and no need to tidy their room before the cleaning company arrives!

Parents and teens should approach this project by thinking of the tween/teen bedroom as their own “apartment,” with zones for specific activities.

POSSIBLE BEDROOM ZONES: 1. Sleeping 2. Studying 3. Reading 5. Getting dressed 6. Getting ready 7. Hobbies 8. Entertaining 9. Laundry

HOW TO ORGANIZE AND SET UP A BEDROOM OR SPACE

1. Create a plan. Collaborate on an organizational and design plan for their bedroom–this doesn’t have to be expensive. Ask questions to uncover what interests and passions they would like their room to reflect and define how they want to use the space.

Determine what furniture, organizing tools, decor or other items are missing from the room to achieve the goal, and create a shopping list. For getting ready, consider adding a full length and/or makeup mirror, to keep guests off the bed include extra seating, and provide a hamper to keep dirty clothes contained. Go online for some design inspiration and have fun!

2. Edit and declutter. As you work through each section of the room, take everything out and place similar items together to get a clear picture of the current inventory and to figure out where the gaps are. Have large clear plastic bins and heavy-duty garbage bags on hand. Your teen should touch each item and determine if they need, like, or use it, and then place it into the correct bin or bag based on whether they will keep, toss, donate, or sell it.

Questions to ask when choosing what to keep: Do I need it?

Do I use it?

Does it fit?

Is it sentimental?

Would I buy it again?

Does it make me happy (spark joy)?

3. Organize. Now that you know the room’s inventory, you can start to build zones that add structure and purpose. Ensure there is a flow to the space and place the mostused items within easy reach. Put the grouped items together in containers and label them for when needed. Carefully measure spaces before buying. To maximize space, opt for stylish and multifunctional furniture and storage systems. The goal is to make it easy for them to put items away.

4. Style. Help your teen/tween create a comfortable haven that will make them proud. Stylize and accessorize to reflect their desired aesthetic and have them display items that bring them joy. Leave physical and visual space around objects so that they are more easily seen, and don’t fill every nook or cover every surface.

5. Maintain and prevent. Care for items and put things back in their place. Commit to the new plan, habits, and routines, to avoid a reoccurrence of clutter. Put things away—not down—and continually declutter and shop mindfully in the future.

Be gentle with your teen/tween and don’t confuse a little mess with clutter. It’s about progress, not perfection. Teens are also more likely to listen if parents lead by example.

Organizing can be stressful and emotional.

If you’re having challenges, consider hiring a professional organizer.

SPOTLIGHT ON LOCAL PRESCHOOLS Reggio Emilia inspired high quality Licensed Child Care and Preschool Programs that support your child’s early learning through arts and crafts, music, indoor and outdoor activities, science, dramatic play and story telling.

5288 Joyce St, Vancouver

604 435 0323

Childcare Learning Centre for ages 2–12

Our learning centre is Reggio-Emilia inspired and incorporates best practices in education while highly valuing the arts. Our School of Arts includes educational development in the areas of music, art, character and psychological development.

We specialize in providing fun, engaging, and educational piano lessons for all ages.

Wonder of Learning Organization 1346 Kingsway, Vancouver, BC

604-829-1346 wonderoflearning.ca

northstarmontessori.ca

October/November 2021

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PLAY After a busy week of work and school, it’s time to wind down and enjoy some family time, but what can you do that everyone will enjoy?

When weekend rolls around, parents and kids are ready to play but are often challenged wuth the task of finding new and exciting ways to enjoy quality time together. Here’s a list of local activities to consider—whether you’re looking to connect with nature, or while away a rainy day indoors.

WHILE AWAY A RAINY DAY

Explore the Indoor City of Kidtropolis Located just off No.2 Road in Richmond, Kidtropolis is a oneof-a-kind miniature metropolis that offers a new take on indoor play spaces. Featuring over 18,000 sq feet of space, the kid-centric city is jam-packed with imagination stations that are perfect for a full day of pretend play.

GO PLAY OUTSIDE

Go Birding Along the Pacific Flyway To highlight the cultural, natural, and culinary gems found in and around Richmond, a new collection of experiences has been released—a great way for visitors to explore the lesserknown local attractions found in the area.

As part of a new collaboration between Destination BC and the Veneto Collaboratory, Tourism Richmond is encouraging visitors to discover the “real” Richmond through immersive experiences like Birding 101, where you and your kids can take a try at birding on a guided tour with Liron Gertsman, a local ornithologist and expert birder, through a world-class birding hotspot, where over 300 species of birds can be discovered along Richmond’s “Pacific Flyway.” Learn more about this and other great Richmond tours on the newly-released Pacific. Authentic. Experiences website. visitrichmondbc.com/experiences

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WestCoastFamilies.com

There, you’ll find streets lined with colourful storefronts, complete with a hospital, a grocery store, a police station, a pizzeria, a broadcast station, a theatre and more, all standing no taller than 6 feet, and all equipped with the costumes and props needed to complete an immersive experience for little explorers. Fuel up with a break at Munchies Cafe, which offers healthy snack and full-meal options for kids—and hot coffee for parents who may prefer to sip and watch on as their kids run off some steam. kidtropolis.ca

fun, food and

great shopping open daily 10 am to

6 pm

kidsmarket.ca

New location in Richmond at Garden City is opening November 1st.

Spots are filling up quickly. Register Today!

At Rothewood Academy we are dedicated to teaching the whole child – head, hands and heart.

Our holistic approach to early learning is what makes Rothewood unique.

We believe in helping each individual child embrace their inquisitiveness and creativity through play based and natural learning environments and activities.

HEAD. HANDS. HEART

Contact us to learn more or schedule a tour:

R OT H E WO O D.CO M Our Schools: RICHMOND

SOUTH SURREY

WHITE ROCK Ages: 0–5 years October/November 2021

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What if kids didn’t get sick?

Every year, BC Children’s Hospital treats over 96,000 kids, many of them battling devastating diseases and chronic conditions. Your donation will fund the groundbreaking research and advanced technologies that are needed to conquer childhood illnesses.

What if you helped?