This is a one-week-old magazine made in Stockholm, Sweden. We are a serious team of five hard working people. We all have some things that we hate and in this magazine, we are going to tell you about them so you can hate them as well.
Pulsen - How not to spend your miney.......................3 Why religion is bad........................................................5 Russia, what do you want from us?.............................6 Modern feminism is ruining our world......................7 The useless people in the south....................................8 Pitbull is nobody’s favorite artist..................................9
How not to spend your money Why do we have one right underneath our school? Pulsen is both a much loved and much hated store that has robbed us of our money for years. With offers like three catapult energy drinks for SEK10, you would swear they want you to get a heart attack! The only way to save money around Pulsen is if u do not have any money, because you just spent it all on Pulsen! Not only can you say goodbye to your money, but u can also say goodbye to your health and your New Year’s resolution of losing a few pounds. 90% of all of your calories will come from energy drinks and candy bars. It is simply too god damn convenient and the prices are way too reasonable. You will soon find yourself skipping every school lunch and instead replacing it with a fast and cheap trip to Pulsen. We are all lucky to be alive when the most common blood type is Nutella. A normal human body consists of around 70% water. After about a month of being an ITG student, you will be about 90% Catapult. That is not to mention “mini Pulsen” where they sell hotdogs for FIVE SEK! Do they want us to OD on fucking sausages or what?’ It has literally replaced my breakfast on weekdays. Over my days as a student at ITG, I have come up with a theory about how Pulsen is sponsored by ITG. It makes perfect sense if you think about it; probably half of their profits come from hungry students. We are the perfect demographic to sell to. ITG are knowingly helping you feed yourself poison. You cannot trust them. To conclude. If you have money in your pockets. Keep it there.
Why religion is bad Have you ever just woke up and thought, I need to behave and not commit sin or else some random person chilling in the clouds will send me to a burning pit when I die. If your answer is yes, you can stop reading this article right now because you will get offended. One of the biggest problem with religion in my opinion is that there is absolutely no real proof that god, heaven, hell or anything supernatural they believe in exists. Some people might say that the bible is proof but the bible is just fictional stories that could have been written down by anyone. Another big problem with religion is that there are so many religions and they all hate each other. Religious books are also dangerous for example in the Quran it says that you should kill all nonbelievers if they do not convert to Islam. This statement in the Quran has caused Muslims worldwide to commit terrorist attacks just because it says they are supposed to in a book written hundreds of years ago. Another problem I see with religion is that religious parents force their religion on their kids and manipulate their kids to ignore science and facts thereby slowing down human progress. When the parents force a religion upon their kids, they will only know lies and fiction when they grow up and they will not have the chance to make up their own minds about religion because they are forced to believe it. Religion is also one of the biggest wastes of space, money and time. There are so many religious buildings that could have been homes for people who need it but instead we have big empty buildings where people go and waste time once or twice a week. . It also costs a lot of money to build these holy buildings which are all over the place and all religious buildings combined must cost at least a couple of trillions which is money that could have been spent on saving other peoples for example feeding those who starve in Africa instead. It is also a waste of time because most religious people pray and go to their “holy� building at least once a week and they even have to pray at home or in school and Muslims pray six times a day , which forces Muslims to skip class or even work just to pray. The most stupid thing about religion in my opinion is that people actually believe that there is a god that controls everything on earth and is watching over us. It is just amazing to me that people can be so stupid that they believe that there is a god that created the earth out of thin air. In conclusion, we can say that religion is bad because they are ignoring facts, bringing violence to people who do not believe in the same god as them. They also manipulate their kids and do not allow them to have their own opinion before brainwashing them. They also waste their own money, time and everyone’s space just to worship something that is not even real. Written by Victor Svanqvist
Russia, what do you want from us?
Every Swede wonders why Russia is so obsessed with Sweden. Well, let me tell you what I think about it and what a Russian thinks. First of all his name is Sergey, yes the typical Russian name. Sergey told me that Russians are obsessed with Sweden because it is so free here, what I mean by that is that our laws and the mindset that we have is based on being free. Now, that is the biggest difference between Russian and Swedes. Russian people thinks that everything in the world circulates around them, they think that the amount of Russian native speakers are more than the other language speakers. Now back to the obsession on westerners or Swedes or whatever you want to call it. My first question was. Where come the obsession? Sergey started like this “It’s your great internet and the great ping” and laughed. It was a weird answer. I thought the answer would be “you have too good democracy and Putin doesn’t like it”. I was like come on it cannot only be that he said “just kidding, but that’s one of the reasons”. Therefore, this was my question: “Come on there has to be a bigger reason”. Therefore, I triggered the Russian. The beast inside him woke up, he literally ordered a glass vodka and red bull in front of the pool and he started drinking. He started the discussion by saying aggressively “you think that your government is so innocent but they are the biggest snakes and if Russia really wanted to invade Sweden they would have done that” he basically means that even the western governments are corrupt but we are just blind. He also told me that Swedish people were a bunch of cowards who think that they are defending democracy but the real democracy is communism. He means that every westerner has a good economy for a reason and the reason is being right minded, he still supports the soviet mindset. He said that Russian people do however, look up to swedes because they are so good at saving the country from war but the most important thing is the growing economy and how it is good to not fight but make peace than nuking other countries. I was like “why don’t u move to Sweden?” he quickly answered, “A man who leaves Russia is not a man” in a broken English. Now that’s a nationalistic way of thinking, the nationalistic feeling in the Russian people is too strong, they can’t accept that their “motherland Russia” is really corrupt and it’s on its way to crisis (economical, geographical). They have to be the strongest country, strongest people, strongest history in the world, they have to be on the moon before Muricans, they have to have all the best doctors in the world etc. That is as much as I understood from my friend Sergey, he lives in a village close to a city called Novosibirsk, I mean if I would read this article without the knowledge that I wrote it, it would have been interesting. By the way Sergey if you are reading This YA LYUBLU TEBYA MOJ BRATE <3. This text is not an article to be offensive against Russian people or the Russian Federation, it is just an article to show my feeling about Russia and my wonder about why I am getting yelled at in a CSGO lobby for no reason. Written by Cihan Aytekin
Modern feminism is ruining our world What is feminism? If you look at the definition of feminism on dictionary.com, it says that it is “the doctrine advocating social, political and all other rights of women equal to those of men”. Obviously that is what modern feminists say they are fighting for when they are walking around on the streets protesting with signs and such, but does feminism really look like that today? If you look at some statistics in Great Britain, you can see that more than 65% of Britons believe in gender equality while only 7% identify themselves as feminists. In a poll by the Huffington post in America it shows that 82% of the voters believe in equality between the sexes while there are only 18% that identify themselves as feminist. These statistics shows that feminism and feminists are not the same thing. Feminism has become a way for women to hate men. One of the common feminist arguments is that women get a lot more harassed on the internet than men do. A study on cyber bullying shows that men were half as likely to say they were very upset about online harassment. This is why there is a bigger chance to hear women complain about online harassment even though men are more likely to face online abuse. You also often hear that women are being stalked on the internet and feminists use that as an argument even though statistics by the University of Florida shows that other women perform most stalking of women. This just goes to show that women are more sensitive about this subject and that is not a bad thing but there is also a simple answer to online abuse and “cyber bullying”. You just have to log off. What is cat calling? Cat calling is a form of pickup line that you say to women to flatter or even hope for a future hookup with them. For example you can say something simple like darling, honey or even gorgeous. The people who call themselves feminists these days consider this a sexual harassment or even rape. Some of them say that they need feminism because men can still rape women without laying a hand on them. If you look up the words “sexual harassment” it says it is a “harassment in a workplace [...] of unwanted sexual advances” it does not say, “calling a women darling or honey is sexual harassment” because it is not. What do we now know about today’s feminists that we did not know before? Feminists in our world and time say one thing and then they do another. They say they are fighting for gender equality but then all they do is go out and hate men and say they are getting raped when someone says Hi to them on the street. They would do pretty much anything to get attention from media and other people. They do not care about statistics and facts, they just hate on men to feel better. In addition, to answer the question “is feminism and feminists the same thing”. The answer is no, it has become something completely different that they call “feminism” so they can get away with hating men. Written by Filip Flodén
The useless people in the south Our neighbours in the south are possibly the worst people in the world. Most of you reading this magazine do not know it yet but you are going to find out why the Danes are the worst people in the world. Let us start by thinking about what Denmark has brought to the world. Some of you will directly think about LEGO since they have LEGOLAND in Denmark and that is a correct guess, but LEGO? Is that all they have made? Moreover, the answer to that question is obviously no, however LEGO is by far the most famous invention the Danes have made. Some of the other inventions they made are Google Maps and the Battery, which both are some good inventions, but the majority of the people in this world does not even know the Danes made them. When Sweden makes a good invention like IKEA we make sure to use the colours of our flag so everyone knows it’s a Swedish invention, that way our inventions bring some pride back to our land. The nature in Denmark is probably one of the most boring natures in Europe. A quick google search on Denmark’s nature and all you will see is pictures of fields and some cool mountains. In addition, since Denmark is so close to the coast there is a lot of rain in Denmark and the weather is usually really cold. They do have one nice city with a lot of culture in it but it is not even worth mentioning the name since we do not recommend travelling to Denmark. If you go to Denmark to make friends, we recommend you turn back as soon as possible. According to an investigation by SVT it turned out that Denmark is one of the worst places in the world to make friends. One of the reasons for that may be their weird language. I do not think there is any other country in the world that understands Danish except for the Danes. In addition to that, I have to tell you that all the Danes care about is their red sausages called pölse and their beer. The only reason Swedish people ever go to Denmark is to buy alcohol and the only reasons anyone else go to Denmark is driving through there fast. Denmark has a part of their capital city that is completely uncontrolled by the police. The city part is named Christiania and it is completely controlled by hippies smoking pot. That shows what kind of people the Danish are, or at least some of them. Of course, we have to complain about the Danish having a bad history with Sweden. Some of you probably did not know this but Sweden and Denmark has the world record in wars between two nations. And if you take a look at Denmark and Sweden you can clearly see that Denmark still is a little country while Sweden is 5 times bigger ( not counting with Greenland or the Faroe islands since they weren’t in the war), So we can clearly see which country is the better. And for the record Denmark has never won a war and kept their land. Yet they were the ones who started the majority of the wars with Sweden. Written by Simon Frygnegård
Pitbull is nobody’s favorite artist
He’s featured in God knows how many songs and yet nobody likes him. He is mediocrity at it’s worst. Can you mention a single song by Pitbull? If you can, you should be ashamed of yourself. But if you, like 99% of everyone else reading this, can’t mention a song he’s made, even though almost everyone knows his namn, you are unknowingly a supporter of what I like to call ‘the mediocrity illusion phenomenon theory. Basically, what this theory proposes is that If you reach a certain level of mediocrity, you will start to fade away, your work will slowly become unknown to the public. That’s exactly what has happened to Pitbull. This “rapper” has released nine full studio albums, two remix and compilation albums, four mixtapes, 80 singles, featured on an additional 49 songs, with 12 promotional singles and 35 music videos… and still nobody can remember the name of even just one of his songs. Pitbull has in other words reached a new, previously thought to be impossible, legendary level of mediocrity. His accomplishments are nothing short of astounding. This would be the perfect time to celebrate with some of Pitbull’s dope music, but sadly, I can’t remember any of his songs. Back to my theory. Even though nobody listens to his songs, he keeps making more, and at the same time his songs are played on the radio all the time. How is this possible for someone with grand total of ZERO fans? Well that’s where my theory comes in. You see if nobody can remember his songs, nobody can hate on them. So even though he has no fans, he also has no haters. And since haters speak louder than fans, minimizing your haters would be in your best interest. Pitbull has this figured out. Pitbull has created the best template to guarantee success in the music branch. He has become a living illusion. My final words of wisdom are as such; you can’t hate something you don’t remember. Become a living illusion. Written by Henry Dyrén