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All About VOLUMEIt’s 1; ISSUE 4 Yes
AUGUST AUGUST 6, 2011 6, 2011 ISSN 2162-4283
As women we tend to take on more than we can handle, thus we often feel as if we have the weight of the world on our shoulders.
YES
IT’S ALL ABOUT
Written by Women, for Women
How Do You Deal With It?
Our guest writers: Tricia Dycka Daye Salander Jennifer L. Shelton
DO YOU FEEL
Liz LaClair
LIKE YOU CARRY
Lori Latimer
THE WEIGHT OF
Tamsyn Hawkins Megz Sardana
THE WORLD?
Here Is How Seven Different Women Deal With Carrying That Weight
It’s All About Yes
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TABLE OF CONTENTS
Letter From The Editor Pg. 3 Partner With The Stars Pg. 4 Jennifer Shelton
When Will It Stop Pg. 7 Liz LaClair
Are Your Legs Buckling Under The Pressure Pg. 9 Tricia Dycka
Sometimes It All About - NO Pg. 11 Lori Latimer
...and If You Are A Woman, Expect 10 Times The Challenge Pg. 13 Megz Sardana
Calling Off The Search For Superwoman Pg. 15 Tamsyn Hawkins
Embracing My Inner Super Hero Pg. 17 Daye Salander
Publisher: Tricia Dycka Editor-In-Chief: Daye Salander Editor: Liz LaClair
Copyright 2011 It’s All About Yes
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LETTER FROM THE EDITOR Hard to believe that August is already here. I know that most of you have had a hotter than normal summer but here, in the Pacific Northwest, until the writing of this we have only had about 18 hours of over 80 degrees so we have been waiting for summer to arrive. In this month’s issue we are talking about how to handle things when it seems the weight of the world rests directly on your shoulders. And the heat I’m sure added to your stress. Hopefully one of the articles contained herein will resonate with you and give you some ideas on how to either handle or unload some of that weight or at least help you understand why you choose to carry it. Each of us has a unique situation but some of the skills that you can learn through the experiences of others can be of great value. As women entrepreneurs we all want the same thing - a successful business which brings fulfillment while at the same time having healthy and uplifting relationships. In other words, we all want the best life has to offer. As we move into the fall months this group of entrepreneurial women will share more about their lives, their struggles, their inspirations, and their challenges. We hope that as our readers you will share this e-zine with others that you know that may be struggling with issues or that need encouragement or would just enjoy reading about others that are blazing the path of the woman entrepreneur. If you have any comments or would like to submit a guest article, please contact us. We are always looking for additional input and creative solutions to the challenges we face as we reach out towards our dreams.Please email us at Info@ItsAllAboutYes.com.
WHAT WILL YOU FIND?
Worth The Read... How to Be Happy Anytime Written by Leo Babauta.
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My friend Barron recently asked, “If you could be anywhere right now, doing anything you want, where would you be? And what would you be doing?” And my answer was, “I’m always where I want to be, doing what I want to be doing.” Read More...
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Partner with the Stars by Jennifer Shelton
Let’s just jump right into this. I’m an astrologer. As an astrologer, I know that some people are wired to be successful when they take on a lot of responsibility and some people are wired to be successful when they are part of a team, and some are wired to support the person taking on all the responsibility. Charts are beautifully complicated things but I always start an interpretation with the North and South Nodes of the moon. Never heard of them? That’s ok. Most people haven’t. Here’s a wonderful explanation from astrologer Bob Mark: The Moon’s nodes are not planets. In fact, they are not even material objects! Just two points in space where the Moon’s orbit crosses the plane of the Earth’s orbit. The North Node simply shows the general area that you have to develop. The opposite point, the South Node, shows the place where you feel comfortable. Too comfortable. If you stay there, you get into a rut. And worse. Your life can stagnate. Picture the South Node as your roots and the North Node as your leaves and branches. You have to grow in the direction of the leaves. If you spend too much time on your South Node roots, you get root rot. I’ve included a North Node chart for people born between 1940 and mid-1986. Once you’ve found your North Node, read below to see the best approach for handling responsibilities in your life. Note: I’ve included the accompanying South Node to each North Node. It may be useful to read your South Node information in order to know what kind of behavior to avoid. Date Jan 1/40 – May 24/41 May 25/41 – Nov 21/42 Nov 22/42 – May 11/44 May 12/44 – Dec 3/45 Dec 4/45 – Aug 2/47 Aug 3/47 – Jan 26/49 Jan 27/49 – Jul 26/50 Jul 27/50 – Mar 28/52 Mar 29/52 – Oct 9/53 Oct 10/53 – Apr 2/55 Apr 3/55 – Oct 4/56 Oct 5/56 – Jun 16/58 Jun 17/58 – Dec 15/59 Dec 16/59 – Jun 10/61 Jun 11/61 – Dec 23/62
Sign Libra Virgo Leo Cancer Gemini Taurus Aries Pisces Aquarius Capricorn Sagittarius Scorpio Libra Virgo Leo
Date Dec 24/62 – Aug 25/64 Aug 26/64 – Feb 19/66 Feb 20/66 – Aug 19/67 Aug 20/67 – Apr 19/69 Apr 20/69 – Nov 2/70 Nov 3/70 – Apr 27/72 Apr 28/72 – Oct 27/73 Oct 28/73 – Jul 9/75 Jul 10/75 – Jan 7/77 Jan 8/77 – Jul 5/78 Jul 6/78 – Jan 5/80 Jan 6/80 – Sep 24/81 Sep 25/81 – Mar 16/83 Mar 17/83 – Sep 11/84 Sep 12/84 – Apr 6/86
Sign Cancer Gemini Taurus Aries Pisces Aquarius Capricorn Sagittarius Scorpio Libra Virgo Leo Cancer Gemini Taurus
North Node Aries (South Node Libra) You’ll want to help everyone else with their responsibilities, while likely ignoring your own. Focus on taking care of your own responsibilities first. If people offer to help you, accept! (Don’t worry about being selfish – that’s almost impossible for you.) North Node Taurus (South Node Scorpio) Break your responsibilities down into small chunks and focus on completing them, one step at a time. Go slowly but persevere. It may take time to be successful but this Node can accumulate a lot of cash! Just don’t try to skip any steps. Build your business, brick by brick. North Node Gemini (South Node Sagittarius) Ask questions. This Node will want to plow ahead and never ask for clarification on problems. It’s ok to not always know the answers. Also, use your LOGIC to address problems. When making a decision, list out pros Continued Next Page
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and cons. Journal from the perspective of everyone involved. Be as logical and objective as possible. North Node Cancer (South Node Capricorn) You get to do whatever you feel like. Seriously. With that South Node in Capricorn, you’ll meet every deadline and finish every project. You can TRUST YOURSELF to do what you need to do. So, if your body is crying for a break – a nice hot bath, or a mindless movie – listen. I know this will be the envy of the other Nodes, but, it’s not so easy for a Cancer North Node to relax! North Node Leo (South Node Aquarius) Enjoy yourself. Be childlike. If you are having fun, you are on track. Do your responsibilities feel like torture? It’s time to reassess your priorities. Responsibilities, for you, should follow the joys of your inner child. North Node Virgo (South Node Pisces) Organization is more useful to you than most any other Node. This Node is also prone to panic attacks. If that happens, focus on the PRESENT by noticing the color of the walls, whether the sun is shining, how the air feels on your skin, etc, until the attack passes. Then, look at the tasks in front of you and make an organized battle plan of how you will finish them. The more organized you are, the less likely you will experience panic. North Node Libra (South Node Aries) Teamwork is key for this Node. In fact, you’ll feel better about your personal responsibilities, if you help other people with THEIR responsibilities. (Notice this is the opposite of the North Node in Aries!). Whatever you do, don’t go it alone. Give help. Ask for help. North Node Scorpio (South Node Taurus) Lucky you – this Node is hardwired for meteoric business success! But, you have to partner with other people. Be open to their ideas. Accept help (maybe find a Libra North Node!). Be willing to invest in your business and accept investments from others.
JOIN THIS INCREDIBLE GROUP OF WOMEN AND SHARE THE DREAM...
North Node Sagittarius (South Node Gemini) If you are feeling overwhelmed, retreat and meditate. Let your intuition guide you on what to do. Don’t argue with what it says. If you find that your mind won’t stop racing, spend some time with a pet, or in nature.
It’s All About YES! Here to provide the encouragement and inspiration that you need to bring your dreams out into the light!
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North Node Capricorn (South Node Cancer) The symbol for Capricorn is the goat. Your life purpose is to steadily climb your way up the mountain, showing others the way. Don’t worry, you were born with balance and sure-footedness. Just keep your eye on your goals and don’t look back. North Node Aquarius (South Node Leo) If your responsibilities involve helping Humanity (yes, with a capital “H”), you’ll do fine. You can accomplish a lot, in fact, as long as you put the focus on others, instead of on yourself. (While Libra North Nodes should help individuals, your help is more along the lines of helping groups of people – social activism and humanitarian efforts.) North Node Pisces (South Node Virgo) Give all your responsibilities to a Higher Power (HP). Ask HP to show you what you need to do. Then, wait for guidance. Sounds simple but if you’re a Pisces North Node (that’s me), it’s not so easy. You’ll want to take charge and take care of everything yourself. Stop it.
Jennifer L Shelton Jennifer is the founder and administrator of FemCentral, the Virtual Institute for Women, where she also works as an astrologer, intuitive coach and instructor. She teaches undergraduate, online classes in global cultures for Franklin University and works as an education, outreach and training consultant. She’s a writer. She’s a mom. She’s gloriously busy doing the things she loves. You can find Jennifer at www.jenniferlshelton.com
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When Will it Stop??? By Liz LaClair
Have you ever felt like the weight of the whole World rests squarely on your shoulders? Do you feel that mythology had it wrong – Atlas was a woman? Well sista, please trust me you are not alone. We have all felt that crushing weight at one time or another. We have all heard words of encouragement and at some times have thought them to be empty words of platitude. I know I have. I know it can be beyond a “challenge” sometimes. Hell, it’s a pain to try to keep using a “positive” word like challenge to describe a particular situation. Because as soon as you (well OK, me) start using negative words for the situation, it seems to get worse even if it is just a tiny bit. But please remember YOU cannot control everything in life. Going back to my introduction story – I have epilepsy and at times it has negatively effected my life. Yes, with medication and the surgery I had I can stop my seizures. But remember, I had some hurdles to jump just to get to this point. I had to experience more seizures than I ever had. I had to loose a job as a result of the seizures. I (apparently) had to go through a time in my life where I felt useless and a burden. I had to go through some painful testing. There weren’t many things I had control over. I had all that weight piling up plus all the worry and frustration I added to the pile that only dragged me down further. I suppose I had control over whether or not I went through the testing/surgery, but even that I really felt no control over. I felt I had to go through that because how else would I know if we could stop my seizures. During this time I was stressing over how we would pay for things/bills. Being short one income. Then slowly but surely during the end of that process, things started getting better. I started (baby steps) a version of my business. That start helped my self-esteem and helped me realize that even though I had all that weight on my shoulders I could do something about part of it. I needed to do something so I felt like I could contribute to improving our situation. Doing that helped me get out from the soul-sucking depression I was at the edge of and could step away from. Slowly but just as surely that weight started lifting from my shoulders and things are getting better – and so is my outlook on life. So dear reader, what I’m trying to tell you – things will eventually get better. When that weight lifts you feel like you can soar!
I
Liz LaClair have TWO best parts of my life. I’m thrilled to have found my business calling! I truly enjoy working with my clients – the work I do is fun! Check out how I got past my challenges – learn how I’m taking what was a not so good and making it great. I’m a small business entrepreneur who likes working/ supporting other small businesses. The other best part of my life? I’m married to the love of my life. He’s very supportive of what I’m doing. Who could ask for more? You can find me at http://www.virtuallyhelps.com/
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Strength Quotes The strength of a woman can carry the weight of the world. ~ Sarah Pezdek-Smith A woman is like a teabag, you never know how strong she is until she gets into hot water. ~ Eleanor Roosevelt When I say, “I love you,” it’s not because I want you or because I can’t have you. It has nothing to do with me. I love what you are, what you do, how you try. I’ve seen your kindness and your strength. I’ve seen the best and the worst of you. And I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are. You’re a hell of a woman. ~ Joss Whedon (screen writer) There is in every true woman’s heart, a spark of heavenly fire, which lies dormant in the broad daylight of prosperity, but which kindles up and beams and blazes in the dark hour of adversity. ~ Washington Irving Women wish to be loved without a why or a wherefore; not because they are pretty, or good, or well-bred, or graceful, or intelligent, but because they are themselves. ~ Henri Frederic Amiel Quickly! Quickly! Already we are behind schedule. Someone’s bound for a beheading; let’s make sure it’s not me. ~ Unknown She smiles through the pain because she knows, even though she’s breaking inside, he’s still watching. ~ Unknown
What fresh start will you begin at the next New Moon? How about this webinar from Tricia Dycka? Finding the Courage to Create Your Boundaries Monday, August 28 8-9pm EDT Cost: Pay what you can (Donations generally range from $5 to $25) Register at FemCentral, The Virtual Institute for Women
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Are Your Legs Buckling Under the Pressure? by Tricia Dycka
The weight of the world is on your shoulders and it can be as heavy or as light as you make it. You broaden your shoulders over and over again to accept more of the world. Soon your legs start to buckle, and then you smash your knees to the ground. You ask yourself, well what the hell happened here. It is time to quickly re-evaluate. The last thing you want or need is to stay on the ground. YOU ARE IN CONTROL! First separate the things you can control from the ones you can’t. Even if you can’t control the situation, recognize that you can respond in a way that feels right for you. Before I moved to Florida I took on everyone’s baggage. People came to me to help out and I rarely said NO. I also did other’s projects or took on their responsibilities. Why, you might ask. Because I liked it my way or thought my way was more proficient. I was always on the go and had zero time for me and the things I wanted to do. When I moved to Florida I was in for a rude awakening and some withdrawal. I always felt that I needed to be needed. Nana broke her back and I was having heart palpitations that I was in Florida and she was in NY. Yup you know it, got on a plane and came to NY. Ran, Ran, and Ran. Then my Mom had surgery and I couldn’t get back to NY, and the guilt of it was eating me alive. It was finally when my legs buckled and my knees hit the ground bloody and bruised that I stopped and asked what the hell I was doing. I hit a bump and now needed to figure out what I wanted to do for ME!!! A novel idea…right? Well it was about time. I was tired of the guilt, the BS and putting myself last. This is where I learned the word NO again. Remember two year olds, all they say is no! This was me in the beginning. I was learning who I was and what I wanted out of life. What I have learned from that experience is I had to figure out what I liked, loved, didn’t like and what I wanted to run from. I walked around for months with a little note pad in my pocket. Learning about myself and what I wanted. Continued Next Page
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I learned that I can control myself, and my reactions. I realized there are many circumstances that I cannot control and the same goes for others attitudes and actions. Today if the weight of the world is on my shoulders it is because I choose to have it that way. It is usually because I am pushing myself on a project that I want to get done. Then life throws you curve balls. Recently my mom had open heart surgery. During that time I had very little sleep and pushed myself to my limits (broadened my shoulders). That is where I wanted to be. It is all about choices. It has since settled down and she is on the road to recovery so I can now regroup and regain my balance. Saying yes to every function and every person will burn you out and leave nothing for yourself or anyone else in the long run. Make choices about what you really want to shoulder. The weight of the world isn’t really on your shoulders unless you allow it. Have others accept responsibility and consequences for their own actions, you do NOT need to. Take responsibility only for you.
Tricia Dycka: Tricia is an Entrepreneur, life enthusiast, author, intuitive, funny, very candid, great listener. Take the path less traveled. Living in the moment. Enjoys massive amounts of chocolate and coffee. Supportive friend who is there for you when everyone else has abandoned you and thinks you have lost your mind. Encourages entrepreneurs to embrace themselves so they can create an environment that supports their dreams. You can find me at www. triciadycka.com
STRENGTH QUOTES Success Tip: Look in the mirror every day and say, “I am in charge.” ~ Renee Preis The hardest thing in life to know is which bridge to cross and which to burn. ~ David Russell. Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind. ~ Dr. Seuss
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Sometimes It’s All About... No! by Lori Latimer
You may have a thriving business. You may have a family. You may be building your business while still working a full-time job. Regardless of your individual situation, it’s inevitable that as entrepreneurs you’ll go through times where it feels as if everyone wants everything from you – and they want it yesterday! You feel as if you’re standing all alone in the middle of a vast ocean without a life preserver in sight. Not all women are great multi-taskers. But even if you are, there are times when you become totally and completely overwhelmed, the panic sets in, and it’s as if you’re paralyzed. You’re facing a deadline, and you just freeze. You can’t write a blog post. You can’t pick up the phone and make that call. You can’t record the audio that’s been waiting. You can’t even take the dog out for a walk. In times like these, it can feel like the world is caving in around you. It would be so easy to just throw up your hands and cry uncle. But...you don’t. Because you know that if you do, all the plates you’ve been spinning will come crashing down around you. And that just isn’t an option. So what can you do? I used to think that I was a great multi-tasker. Then I had my hand analysis done last year, and I learned that multitasking is just not in my DNA. Or should I say, it isn’t in my fingerprints! I’ve had to learn new ways of managing all the things I have to do, all the demands that are placed on me, and those that I place on myself. If I don’t, and if I have too many plates spinning at one time, one or all of them are guaranteed to come crashing down on me. The result? Let’s just say, it isn’t pretty. If you find yourself becoming completely overwhelmed and you feel like the responsibility for everything is on you, here are some ideas that can help you get back on solid ground.
Don’t bury your head in the sand. Sometimes it’s just easier to ignore the fact that we’re overwhelmed and keep forcing ourselves to do something, thinking that doing anything means we’re accomplishing something. But we’re really just spinning our wheels. If we can become aware in the early stages that we’re entering what I call the Overwhelm Zone, we can stop, reevaluate and prioritize before any of the plates come crashing down on us. Chunk it down. I don’t find “to do” lists helpful. In fact, they are often overwhelming if there are too many “to dos” on them! But when you have too much going on, you have to break things down into manageable pieces. Make a list of the projects you’re working on, and then break those down into tasks within each project. Look at any deadlines, and figure out which one is the most time-sensitive. Just work on that one and leave the others – they won’t go anywhere! Give yourself a specific amount of time to work on that one thing, and set a timer. I use Google Calendar to schedule all of my tasks for a particular Continued Next Page
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day. When the timer goes off, move to the next thing. Unless you have an absolute deadline, try not to work on any one thing for too long a period of time. If you can keep rotating through four or five of your most important tasks, you’ll be amazed at how much you actually accomplish in a day because you’ll stay fresh. Be sure to schedule 10 minute breaks throughout the day. And do not forget lunch!
Self-Care. Sometimes the best thing to do is just walk away from everything for a while. Go get a mani/pedi or a massage. Go for a walk in nature. Go to a yoga class. When we’re completely overwhelmed, we tend to keep going and going, just like the Energizer Bunny, thinking that if we just keep going, we’ll get it all done. The reality is that if we take an hour or two and do something for ourselves, we come back refreshed, both physically and mentally, and we’re better able to tackle what’s waiting for us. The one requirement for this one is to do it without any guilt! If you feel guilty for taking time to do something totally self-indulgent, it will totally defeat the purpose. Ask. For. Help. Can I see a show of hands from everyone that thinks that asking for help is a sign of weakness? That it means you aren’t capable or competent? That you’re less-than, or that something’s wrong with you if you can’t do it all? Mine will be the first hand up! I used to think all of those things, and then some. But people really do like to help other people out. It makes them feel good, like they’ve contributed something. So whether it’s help around the house, or help with a business project, reach out and ask for help. Ask your husband, your children, a VA, a personal assistant, or even a friend.
Sometimes it really is all about... No! Know when to say no. You really don’t have to do everything that anyone and their brother asks of you. I realize that some people have a really hard time saying no. So many of us are people pleasers. We’re afraid that if we say no, we’ll hurt someone else’s feelings, they won’t ask us again, they won’t like us...the list goes on and on. Learn to trust your intuition, and only say yes to the things that you really want to do, the things that will light you up and add value to your life and/or business! Maybe it’s something you’d like to do, but the timing just isn’t right. Tell the other person that! It’s much better to do that than to say yes and put even more pressure on yourself. And remember: this too shall pass. No matter how overwhelmed you are or how much pressure you’re under, nothing lasts forever. Find whatever works for you to get through those times, and then do them!
Lori Laimer Lori helps women work through the issues they face as newly-single women. After working as a paralegal in family law for over 20 years and going through her own divorce, she discovered a way to heal the pain of past relationships and build a new life full of joy and passion. She now helps newly-single women and those going through divorce fall in love with themselves and their lives. You can find me at http://lorilatimer.com/
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“… and if you are a woman, expect ten times the challenge” by Megha Tara Sardana
I started my career as a Financial Analyst trading for Commodity Derivatives firm in commodities like Gold, Silver, Copper, Pork, Orange Juice, Spices, etc. A typical workday was 15-16 hours long leaving little time to sleep. Leave aside any thoughts of family and social life. Weekends were spent making up on the lost hours of sleep and all other pending tasks carried over from the week. At that point, I was unmarried, staying with my parents and had little, if any, household responsibilities. I had done my MBA from an institute which prides itself on the long work hours and tough grind it puts its students through. Still the intense work pressure and competition used to leave me washed out. I survived six months in that job and lifestyle. Over years, many new roles and a few companies wiser, I can only start to tell you that the competition and pressure doesn’t decrease. It only goes up. It is a world where men wait like vultures to prey upon you at the first sign of mess up or mistake. And if you start rising through ranks, you wake up the sleeping male fraternity. Even the hardened enemies who have sworn to never speak to each other again will bond like NATO allies for the common objective of taking down the infiltrator who has entered their fortress. So, when I read this line from Nina Godiwalla’s book– Suits…A Woman on Wall Street, I could no less appreciate the truth of these words – “… and if you are a woman, expect ten times the challenge”. And these days you are not just expected to manage your home, job, kids, friends and social life, you are expected to excel at it. Some learning on work management that I can share from my corporate experience include: Learn Time Management and Prioritization – Learn to distinguish between adhoc and essential activities and how to manage them properly. More often than not, managers/ entrepreneurs get caught in everyday fire fighting forgetting the real reason of their role. Learn to use this Time Management Quadrant system: • All your activities can be grouped under one of the four quadrants. You should tackle these tasks in the order of importance and organizational priorities. o Quadrant I is the most important and urgent. These are the tasks that must be attended before others. o Quadrant II is important but not urgent. These are the ones which normally take a hit as we are too busy handling the adhoc BAU tasks. o Quadrant III the third that You must respond to despite its urgency. But it’s not as important as Quadrant II which has higher priority. o Quadrant IV is the last one! In November 2009, A Wisconsin judge ordered PepsiCo Inc to pay $1.26 billion to two men who said it stole their idea to sell purified water after a secretary mislaid a document alerting the world’s No. 2 soft drink maker the lawsuit existed. Trust me you don’t want to be in her shoes. Continued Next Page
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• Don’t take on more than your fair share (or mediocre work in order to be busy). In our eagerness to prove ourselves, we normally end up taking more work than our male counterparts. And not only does it impact your overall timelines, it can also block you to picking up more meatier (read important than urgent) assignments because you already have a lot of regular tasks lined up. And while doing a lot of adhoc tasks can make you look busy, during the appraisal they don’t add the same value as the strategic projects. And sweethearts, no one ever got promoted because they kept busy.
• Get it in writing: If I was to pick one thing I can teach others about surviving in the corporate jungle, it is to have a written record of all your key accomplishments, meetings and process through which you arrived at critical decisions. o A Senior Executive I worked with had a nasty habit of drowning his female subordinates with work through emails and then calling them on phone to get them to instead pick up some other “urgently required” assignments. However, at the end of the appraisal cycle, he would bring out the list of all the incomplete/unfinished assignments to label them as inefficient. I was saved because every time he asked me to pick up something urgent, I used to drop him a mail confirming our conversation and reporting on what I proposed to drop/ delegate from my assigned tasks.
I could go on writing but I am off now…still perfecting the art of saying No and knowing where to stop. Hope you get the hint!! Adios!! Megha Tara Sardana (Megz) is a consultant, coach, project manager and a communitarian (a term coined specially for her as she thrives on networking and connecting people). Megz burning desire is to help women empower themselves, become financially independent and leave a blazing path behind them. Megz prefers working 1-on-1 with women on personal finance management and on getting basics right for a sound business start up. She can be reached at http://megzspeakz.com/ You can also reach her on twitter – Megzspeakz
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Calling off the search for Superwoman by Tamsyn Hawkins
Whilst considering the topics for this month’s article, I have reflected long and hard about my life long struggle with saying “No”. No to the people, situations and requests that don’t serve my life, my business or me. The overwhelming feeling of wanting to support and help others has, in the past, led me to tackling sky high workloads, projects that have left me feeling swamped and overloaded and precious little time for myself or my family and loved ones. Can you
relate?
The journey of building my own way of working through entrepreneurship continues to teach me many powerful lessons. The number one key for me has been the ability to manage and utilize my energy to keep the fuel of my business burning. To avoid exhaustion and burnout through carrying the weight of others expectations and needs above my own I needed to change direction. Here are my top picks for laying down your burdens and lightening the load to support your best work and life: 1. Play to your strengths:
We are all here with a unique gift, the purpose and passion we are meant to deliver to our clients and the world beyond. Use your energy wisely and focus on what you love to do best and delegate the rest! As business owners the temptation to try and do it all ourselves is overwhelm in itself and can leave you frustrated and unable to give your best work to others. 2. Be in this moment:
Live in the now and stay there! The past has gone and we have no way of knowing what the next minute, hour, day or year holds for us until it arrives. Focus your energy on the present moment and task in hand and feel your stress levels drop off instantly 3. Reflect and prioritize:
Before you head off to tackle your “to do“ this, reflect on what really adds value on that list-is it all absolutely essential? Will it move further towards your goal? Cut the Continued Next Page
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fluff from the list and then prioritize the actions that add most value for that day. 4. Support network and communication:
Leverage your support network. Be it family, friends or your VA support. Delegate tasks to those who can help lighten the load and communicate what you need to those who can best support you. You are not alone! 5. Take a break:
Take time out regularly to re-charge and switch off. Burnout does not make for a great businesswomen and taking time to do something you love that feeds your soul and makes your spirits soar will give you a welcome boost for when you return to your desk.
Tamsyn Hawkins Tamsyn is an expert in coaching business owners to boost their revenue through branding and marketing. Specializing in creating brand and customer profiles for independent businesses, Tamsyn helps her client organizations identify exactly who they are and teaches them how to authentically represent themselves so they can attract their ideal customers. Tamsyn has worked in sales and senior leadership roles for top UK companies including Pizza Hut UK, Mothercare, Top Shop, River Island, Gondola Group and New Look, and launched her own consulting business in 2008. Tamsyn teaches independent entrepreneurs how to craft their company image so they can engage with their customers on a personal level, foster brand loyalty, and create stronger, more profitable relationships with their clientele. You can find her at www.tamsynhawkins.com
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It’s All About Yes
VOLUME 1; ISSUE 4
AUGUST 6, 2011
Embracing My Inner Super Hero by: Daye Salander
I often feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders and honestly, it is exhausting. I often wonder why I feel that way and have come to the conclusion that it is because in my opinion, those around me are slow to act; slow to come up with solutions; slow to move forward. Thus, I take the responsibility on myself to act; to create solutions; to move forward. It is not that I believe others cannot do what I do but more a sense of time and getting from point A to point B in the most effecient way possible. I have been told that I am so “able” that I “enable” others not to perform to their true abilities. I mean, why would they if I’m going to rush ahead and do it for them? Thus, I often feel the crushing weight of the world on my shoulders. I honestly have not been successful in unloading that weight and I suppose that one of the reasons for that is that I don’t mind it. It motivates me. It pushes me. It permits me to come up with creative solutions. I find it to be more of my friend than my enemy. Traditionally I always felt better when there is more on my plate than any one person could possibly handle. I guess every day I’m out to prove to myself that I’m some kind of super hero or it’s some cockeyed psychiatric babble like having super hero syndrome (hah!). I suppose you could say that whether it is work or play, I go all out. On the other side of the coin though, I get pleasure from work. I remember as a child and I washed the kitchen floor (on my hands and knees, no less) and when I was done I turned to walk away. My mother stopped me, had me turn around and look at the job I did. She made me take a moment to appreciate myself, my efforts, and my success. I never will forget that moment for it has played a great part in my life. It may be the one deciding factor in me being a workaholic…the pleasure and satisfaction that a job well done brings me. You may ask, do I ever burn out? Who? Me? Of course. It’s not too often for I do have a varied life. I do not permit work to overshadow what is in truth, the most important things in my life; my husband, my children, and my friends.