VOLUME 2; ISSUE 8
It’s 2; AllISSUE About VOLUME 8 YES
AUGUST 6, 2012 AUGUST 6, 2012 ISSN 2162-4283
YES
IT’S ALL ABOUT
Written by Women, for Women
Our guest writers: Sherrie Williams Liz Nonnemacher Jennifer Shelton Lesllie Homer Daye Salander Stephanie McDilda Liz LaClair JS Stafford Tricia Dycka Lori Latimer
FAILURE. TRUE. BUT ARE ALL FAILURES BAD?
It’s All About YES
VOLUME 2; ISSUE 8
AUGUST 6, 2012
TABLE OF CONTENTS Letter From The Publisher Pg. 3 The Quiet Warrior Pg. 4 Sherrie Williams
There Is No Such Thing As Failure Pg. 5 Liz Nonnemacher
An Astrological Look At Fear Pg. 7 Jennifer Shelton
Failure Made Me Stronger Pg. 10 Leslie Homer
The Many Sides of Failure Pg. 12 Daye Salander
If At First You Don’t Succeed... Pg. 14 Stephanie McDilda
Sometimes You Just Need To Laugh Pg. 16 That Out of Ashes Thing Pg. 17 Liz LaClair
Oops I Won’t Do That Again Pg. 19 Mary Joyce
Fan of The Week Pg. 21 It’s All About YES Interview - Liz LaClair Pg. 22 Failure To Communicate Pg. 24 JS Stafford
Epic Failures Pg. 26 Tricia Dycka
Turning Failures Into Lessons Pg. 28 Lori Latimer
Publisher: Tricia Dycka Editor-In-Chief: Daye Salander Editor: Liz LaClair
Copyright 2012 It’s All About Yes
It’s All About YES
VOLUME 2; ISSUE 8
AUGUST 6, 2012
Letter From The Publisher
As I sit here and write this letter to our readers, I am in shock that we are already in August. I was in Target the other day and saw all the school supplies were already out. It really is almost time for kids to go back to school. This leads me into our article for this month. Failure and is it really failure? You are probably asking how I can draw a line between the two. School pushes kids into a box. Follow the rules it will get you through life. Get a job, marriage, kids, home and the list goes on and on. It teaches us all to stay within the lines. The lines are our friends but that is not the truth. It does not teach us how to reach for the stars and allow for mistakes and failures. How to handle it without running and hiding once again behind what others think we should be doing. Please join us as we share our stories and experiences of failure and IS IT REALLY failure? Have a fun and adventurous August. Enjoy the time spent with family before school starts. Teach everyone it is great to make mistakes and to play outside of the lines. Tricia Dycka Publisher It’s All About Yes!
Looking for a bit of encouragement or just a ‘lift’ in your mood? Well, that is where our Facebook page comes in. Filled with possibilities, our Facebook page is a page that you will want to visit often.
It’s All About YES
VOLUME 2; ISSUE 8
AUGUST 6, 2012
The Quiet Warrior by Sherrie Williams
Battles rage daily in our world. Battles forced upon us, drowning our thoughts and our lives in conflict and turmoil. We engage so often in unnecessary fights, losing ourselves to the heat of the battle, lost to what we are fighting for in the first place. Most people openly stage these battles for all to see, some sort of declaration of “See how powerful I am? Look at me go!” Then you have those among us, who through action, example and choices in daily living, are the Quiet Warriors of their lives, and lighthouses to many others. Each day their grace and serenity, in the midst of often endless strife and confliction, shows that bluster and bravado isn’t evidence of true selflessness and bravery. Take for example the single mother or father, who every day has the enormous weight of guiding their children to a life of responsibility served by dignity and character. They cannot move from their path, for if they do, they set in motion a disastrous and destructive cycle that perpetuates into the choices and lives of their children. Even when faced with certain defeat and hopelessness, they smile a smile from their sprit powered by the heart of a Quiet Warrior. They must show that even in the midst of the ugliness and sadness that we are exposed to everyday, there is a light that shines upon us and from within us. That light is our human choice and right to be what we choose. Not what happens to us. I have transgressed much in my life since becoming aware not only that my choices and actions impact others, but just how residual that impact can be. I grew from a child, to a young woman, to a mother. It was at mother, I saw myself for the first time, reflected in the eyes and actions of my children. Watching with disbelief as they mimicked me like little myna birds, duplicating my every move. I came to the awareness of affecting. Of just what is means to be held responsible for your life and how you live it. Do you want your children, your friends, your family and peers, bullying their way through battles and conflict, making noise and expending valuable bits of themselves doing so, because they saw you do it? Or, do want them to serve their courage and character with dignity and grace, gently but firmly transgressing pain and hardship so that those around them can do so too? The Quiet Warrior always has a battle raging, but rages not. Instead they with calm deliberation and quiet determination, set in motion and into place, what must be done, to do what they must do. Their movements and choice to engage in a struggle, to the outside observer, appear to be no more than a mother’s lullaby. Their struggle is the very thing that sings serenity to all standing in their presence, and change happens, with the gentleness and power of a river, it flows around and over the objects in it’s path, and shapes them most beautifully in her passing. Sherrie Williams I’m Sherrie, a.k.a. wildfire :) by those who really know me. I was born in Albemarle, NC and raised on a farm in Davidson, NC tending chickens, horses and a crop. Father was a carpenter, blacksmith, photography bug and engineer. Mom is a career Real Estate Professional/Broker/Consultant and Motivational Speaker. I have 4 children ages 16 to 20, two are my fraternal twin girls. I have done many things. The best of them is being the mother of these 4 unique spirits I have been blessed with. I am an independent location/traveling photographer and have also over the past 20 years been an avid lover of the spoken and written word in all forms. I was a fitness trainer and gym manager at one point. I prefer to nourish now where the true reservoir of strength and wellness comes from and starts, our spirits! You can find me at: www.facebook. com/riversoftime
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It’s All About YES
AUGUST 6, 2012
There is No Such Thing as Failure by Liz Nonnemacher
Sure, I know that there are many people who talk about how they have failed or how someone else has failed or that they are afraid to fail. We do make mistakes now and then but we can always pick ourselves up from them and move on. But failure? No way. The reason that I say it this way is that because making mistakes and not having things work out the way we hoped that they would is a part of life. If I take my own business and go back 6+ years to when I started out, I can honestly say that I made many mistakes and in all honesty, I didn’t have a clue as to what I was doing. My business model (or shall we say, lack of a business model) did not serve me or my audience or clients well at all. When I compare where I was in 2006 to where I am in 2012, it’s like night and day. How did I get from there to here? By making mistakes. Many of them. Trying things and finding that some worked really well and some of them were just flops. I still try things and find that they don’t work out and I have to tweak, adjust or start all over again. There are people who will sit down to play a board game and read each of the directions very carefully before they begin. And there are others who will jump right in and see what happens. I’m the jumping in type. I’ve never been one with much patience for rules or directions. Hopping in with two feet is what works for me. And you know what? Sometimes, my hops don’t work. I have to change them…come up with something else….or heaven forbid, scrap the whole idea and begin again. But that doesn’t mean that what I have tried to accomplish is a failure. It just didn’t work. And the same is true for you.
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If you sit on the bench and talk about what you want to do, you will never get anything done. So you launch something and it isn’t quite perfect. Or you put yourself out there and you’re not quite ready. It’s like having children. Are you ever REALLY ready? Don’t be afraid. You can’t fail. You won’t fail. You may have to adjust your sails but stay the course. It’s better than sitting on the bench forever.
Liz Nonnemacher Liz is the Editor of Wickedly Chic, http://www.wickedlychic.com/, the hottest destination for shoppers seeking advice and product recommendations from the world of independent businesses. Liz’s experience as trend-spotter for her two daughters led her to Wickedly Chic in June of 2006. She is passionate about independent business and works hard to keep her readers both entertained and informed and to promote the businesses that are marketed within Wickedly Chic.
STRATEGIES FOR LEARNING FROM FAILIURE Harvard Business Review
The wisdom of learning from failure is incontrovertible. Yet organizations that do it well are extraordinarily rare. This gap is not due to a lack of commitment to learning. Managers in the vast majority of enterprises that I have studied over the past 20 years—pharmaceutical, financial services, product design, telecommunications, and construction companies; hospitals; and NASA’s space shuttle program, among others—genuinely wanted to help their organizations learn from failures to improve future performance. In some cases they and their teams had devoted many hours to after-action reviews, postmortems, and the like. But time after time I saw that these painstaking efforts led to no real change. The reason: Those managers were thinking about failure the wrong way. Most executives I’ve talked to believe that failure is bad (of course!). They also believe that learning from it is pretty straightforward: Ask people to reflect on what they did wrong and exhort them to avoid similar mistakes in the future—or, better yet, assign a team to review and write a report on what happened and then distribute it throughout the organization. These widely held beliefs are misguided. First, failure is not always bad. In organizational life it is sometimes bad, sometimes inevitable, and sometimes even good. Second, learning from organizational failures is anything but straightforward. The attitudes and activities required to effectively detect and analyze failures are in short supply in most companies, and the need for context-specific learning strategies is underappreciated. Organizations need new and better ways to go beyond lessons that are superficial (“Procedures weren’t followed”) or self-serving (“The market just wasn’t ready for our great new product”). That means jettisoning old cultural beliefs and stereotypical notions of success and embracing failure’s lessons. Leaders can begin by understanding how the blame game gets in the way. Read The Entire A rticle
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It’s All About YES
AUGUST 6, 2012
An Astrological Look at Fear by Jennifer L Shelton
Saturn: Caution and fear, contraction. Also ambition and determination. Without the obstacles of Saturn, we would never grow. Saturn is strongly placed in the horoscopes of doctors, research scientists, and business people. The position [in our chart] shows what we need to feel safe and secure, and what we fear that we will never have enough of. Since this is where we tend to be fearful, we become nervous and tend to “mess up”, or never try at all. This is the quality that frequently comes across as “bad luck”. Saturn rules the sign of Capricorn. – Bob Mark People are scared of to as the “Lord of hear about fear and have Saturn in our the location of Saturn in personal fulfillment. ½ years in a sign, so likely had it in the where Saturn resides time of birth. The important with this
Saturn, which is also referred Karma.” No one wants to restriction. But, we ALL charts. And, understanding your chart can lead to great Saturn spends roughly 2 your classmates and you same sign. But, the house will depend upon your exact house position is extremely planet.
Saturn will never let you settle for less than you deserve. But, because it is located in the area in which you most fear, you will TRY to settle. Or, many of us will. If you have Saturn in the seventh house (or, Libra) – that’s relationships. I know many people, with this placement, who have relationship problems. They’ve said to me, “Are all my relationships doomed, because of Saturn?” NO! With Saturn in the seventh house, you have the potential for a great partnership, something deeper and more fulfilling than the partnerships of your friends. Yet, because of your FEAR of being alone, you will TRY to settle. You may stick with a partner, who you know is not good for you, because that seems like the “safe” thing to do. If this partner is not right for you, however, Saturn will almost always make sure that the relationship ends. You deserve better! If you have Saturn in the second house (or Taurus) – self-worth – you may fear not having enough money. In my work as an astrological coach, I’ve been surprised to discover that spendthrifts and misers have the exact same fear; it just manifests differently. Both fear that there will not be ENOUGH money in the
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future. The people who spend too freely have said to me, “I’d better spend it now, on something I want, because it won’t be there later.” The Scrooges (or, for the younger crowd – Mr. Krabs) fear there will be no income in the future, so they avoid spending anything. If you’ve got Saturn in the second house, either behavior will become a self-fulfilling prophecy. (I have Saturn in the sixth house but in Taurus. I tend towards Scrooginess.) Saturn rules responsibility as well as fear and restriction. If you’ve got a combo of Saturn and money, you can bet this issue will keep coming up for you until you adopt a responsible approach. But, remember, Saturn can point to your success. Be responsible with your money, and you may find yourself having more of it than you ever imagined possible! Do you have what seems to be excessive arguments and conflicts with your family members? You may have Saturn in the fourth house (or Cancer) – home and roots. In this case, you fear being without your family but being with them can be a nightmare (from the stories I’ve heard from clients). With this placement, you must learn to be your own best support system, to stand up for your personal rights. Again, don’t settle for any less! Easier said than done? Understanding this is all well and good but actually living it? I know, it’s hard. I have Saturn in the sixth house. People with Saturn in the sixth house are extremely diligent workers. But, well, here are a few examples from my work life: I was doing a graduate assistantship, helping the university Population Center with surveys on pregnancy, infection and nutrition. It had nothing to do with my area of focus (Russian literature) but was good, extra income. Along comes another study, by another group of researchers, on children in RUSSIA. I asked, begged, pleaded to get transferred. The reply from my boss, “You’re too good of a worker. We don’t want to lose you on the current study.” I also had jobs that I loved but have had the “powers that be” decide that my “skills” would be much better served in some extremely detail-oriented job (which I’m very good at, but detest). As Bob Marks writes about this position, “Many of these Saturn in the sixth folks eventually go into business for themselves for this reason.” And, that’s exactly what we are wired to do – work for ourselves. Saturn in the sixth house people have the personal discipline to succeed at self-employment. But, because we fear being out of work, (and with my added Saturn in Taurus – I also fear not having enough money) we often don’t pursue that avenue. However, I know that if I were to go back to another traditional job, the same pattern would repeat. So, how do I live with the fear? And, I do LIVE with it. It never goes completely away. That’s where the rest of your chart can help. My North Node is in Pisces. I need to trust the Divine Plan for my life. My intuition, and understanding of myself (that’s the rest of my chart), led me to start this website, instead of continuing on the hamster wheel of jobs that were not fulfilling. And, to be completely honest, if the economy weren’t so crappy, and if there were actually jobs in my field to be had, I’d probably succumb to my fear and go get one of them. Divine timing was definitely at work when I was laid off. Yes, what
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seems, at the surface, to be restriction and even, “bad karma”, was actually a GIFT that would allow me to pursue my full potential. That’s the way Saturn works! Explore the location of Saturn in your chart. Use your North Node, and understanding of your personality, to face your fears, which are really gifts in disguise. A brief overview of the area ruled by each house in the astrological chart: 1st house/Aries: identity – Any planet in this house can give you the traits of the sign the planet rules, so if you have Saturn here, you may have traits of Capricorn – serious, ambitious and diligent. Due to fear (see first paragraph, above), you may be shy. Others could interpret this shyness as aloofness. 2nd house/Taurus: self-worth (both literal and figurative) – addressed above 3rd house/Gemini: communication, siblings, short trips – You can excel at communication but only after dealing with obstacles (some people with this literally have speech disorders) 4th house/Cancer: roots, family, home – addressed above 5th house/Leo: fun, play, creativity, romance – If you have the planet of fear and restriction in the house of fun, well, no one will describe you as “spontaneous,” that’s for sure! But, you can excel at creative projects and parties that take a lot planning and perseverance. 6th house/Virgo: work, health – addressed above 7th house/Libra: relationships – addressed above 8th house/Scorpio: death, taxes, inheritance, sex – People with Saturn here may have intense psychic experiences. Also, money issues may resemble that of Saturn in the 2nd house (see text above). 9th house/Sagittarius: higher learning, travel, adventure – Have you had a love/hate relationship with school? Maybe you put it off until your 30s or 40s? Yes, it really will help you to be more successful. 10th house/Capricorn: career – This is the house that Saturn “rules”; you can reach any career goal you set your mind to. However, due to fear, you may become nervous and never try at all. Whatever you do in your career, don’t cut corners or try to take “short cuts” to success. Remember, Saturn rules responsibility. 11th house/Aquarius: friendships, long-term goals, humanitarianism – Read the paragraph on “relationships” (7th house) in the text above. Substitute “friends” for “partners.” 12th house/Pisces: spirituality, subconscious – If you have Saturn here, you may suppress your feelings, which can lead to depression. Read this post on “gunnysacking.” Jennifer L Shelton Jennifer is the founder and administrator of FemCentral, the Virtual Institute for Women, where she also works as an astrologer, intuitive coach and instructor. She teaches undergraduate, online classes in global cultures for Franklin University and works as an education, outreach and training consultant. She’s a writer. She’s a mom. She’s gloriously busy doing the things she loves. You can find Jennifer at www.jenniferlshelton.com
VOLUME 2; ISSUE 8
It’s All About YES
AUGUST 6, 2012
Failure Made Me Stronger by Leslee Horner
In 2007 I read The Secret and was reminded of my lost passion for writing. Writing had been an obsession of mine in high school and college, but in 2007 it had been eleven years since I’d sat down and strung words together. After reading the book though, I got excited and wrote down some goals. One of those goals was that I would write a book. I didn’t know how or when, I just set the intention and got back to life.
PAST ISSUES THAT MAY INTEREST YOU VOLUME 2; ISSUE 7
JULY 6, 2012 ISSN 2162-4283
YES
IT’S ALL ABOUT
Written by Women, for Women
Our guest writers: Jihan Cover Stephanie McDilda Sherrie Williams Lori Latimer
A few months later, I had a conversation that sparked an idea for a novel. I wasn’t even planning to write fiction but all of a sudden the story was coming to me. I read a book on fiction writing to give myself direction and off I ran. In three months, I was holding a 300 page novel that I had written. I thought it was a miracle, a gift from the Universe. I was certain that because I’d been inspired and worked so hard to do it that it would definitely be published and be wildly successful.
Liz Nonnemacher Liz LaClair Tricia Dycka Jill Stafford Mary Joyce Daye Salander Jennifer L. Shelton
Take Time For Me? Why It Is Important & How To Find The Time
VOLUME 2; ISSUE 6
JUNE 6, 2012 ISSN 2162-4283
YES
IT’S ALL ABOUT
Written by Women, for Women
Our guest writers: Liz Nonnemacher Lori Latimer
With that in mind, I edited the novel and began sending out query letters to literary agents. I sent out sixty-five letters and got just one partial manuscript request. I eagerly sent the partial only to receive a rejection letter a few weeks later. I was crushed as this was my one and only lead. My attempts at getting my novel published had failed. At that moment, I could have given up. I could have written off my writing career. But I didn’t. I decided then and there to get started on another book. Months later I started writing my second novel. A friend put me in contact with a local author who invited me to join her writing group. Thrilled, I arrived to that first meeting with ten pages of my newest novel in hand. As I read the pages to the group, I could feel that it wasn’t up to par. I could see in the looks on the faces of the members that it needed a lot of improvement and they were right. They gave me lots of advice and I left the meeting feeling deflated. It was a failure of sorts and once again, I could have given up. I didn’t. I went home and made all the changes the group suggested and when I went back the next week they were blown away by the improvements. I went on to finish that novel only to realize it was “unmarketable” and again I couldn’t find a literary agent. It was another failure that didn’t keep me down. Continued...
Jennifer Shelton Jill Stafford Daye Salander Liz LaClair Tricia Dycka Stephanie McDilda
Staying Focused As Life Storms Around You...
Mary Joyce
VOLUME 2; ISSUE 4
APRIL 6, 2012 ISSN 2162-4283
YES
IT’S ALL ABOUT
Written by Women, for Women
Our guest writers: Sherrie Williams Mary Joyce Liz Nonnemacher Lori Latimer
When you not getting the results...
Jennifer Shelton Jill Stafford Jennifer Winzeler Daye Salander
And Not Sure Which Way To Turn...
Dr Lara Fernandez Liz LaClair Tricia Dycka Minchele Brant Jihan Cover
But You KNOW You Cannot Give Up...
What Do You Do When YOU Hit The Wall?
never never never give up
~Winston Churchill
VOLUME 2; ISSUE 8
It’s All About YES
AUGUST 6, 2012
I took a year off from writing novels and authored a blog. To me, it was a great success and it filled me with joy as well as improving my writing skills. Eventually I was ready to get back to fiction. In the summer of 2011, I finished my third novel and even managed to get myself a literary agent. Finally, after five years of hard work and passion for writing, I’d reached the first stage of success. As the summer of 2012 nears an end my agent is still shopping my Young Adult novel, Summer of Stars, to publishers. I feel good about the book and its prospective success. And to be honest, if for some reason it doesn’t get published I’ll just keep trucking along, writing and writing until I do get a novel published. In the past six years I’ve learned that failure only makes me stronger and I will keep going. I’m not coming this far to go back and I’d say I’ve felt that way since the day I finished writing that first book. Leslee Horner Leslie is an author, blogger, and artist. She is currently working on a Young Adult novel series about a girl who flashes back to previous reincarnations that all have two things in common, true love and death. When Leslee is not writing she’s creating art or spending time with her husband and two young daughters. You can learn more about Leslee at www.lesleehorner.com.
GETTING INSPIRED! Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm. Winston Churchill This thing that we call ‘failure’ is not the falling down, but the staying down. Mary Pickford Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts. Winston Churchill My great concern is not whether you have failed, but whether you are content with your failure. Abraham Lincoln If one asks for success and prepares for failure, he will get the situation he has prepared for. Florence Scovel Shinn Success depends upon previous preparation, and without such preparation there is sure to be failure. Confucius Ambition is the last refuge of the failure. Oscar Wilde I can accept failure, everyone fails at something. But I can't accept not trying. Michael Jordan
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It’s All About YES
AUGUST 6, 2012
The Many Sides Of Failure by Daye Salander
I have failed many times in my life. I have also quit at points in my life. In retrospect, it is the times that I quit that I truly failed. What made the difference between pushing through the failure and quitting? It is all a matter of perspective and knowing where you are going and taking a real look at the failure and not automatically giving up.
Failing Is Just A Step In The Process. Often times we fail as we are working towards a goal. Does this mean when you fail you quit your goal and just give up or is this just nothing more than a stumbling block? In almost every case, it is nothing more than a learning tool. Whether you failed to make the sales you needed to make or you cannot come to a deal with a vendor or you had no success with event, these are small missteps along the way. These types of failures are not a reason to quit or give up but to learn from and then move on.
Failing Publicly – With All Eyes On You There are those times where our embarrassment can cause us to run and hide when in fact it is often an opportunity to shine. Most times when you fail publicly it is an easy answer to bow out and then run for cover. Embarrassment is a driving factor in this scenario and one of the most difficult things can be to overcome the failure and get back on track because of that embarrassment. Keep in mind though that the only thing that makes this failure worse is that fact that it is public. It just means that you learned a lesson in a public way and that your reaction to your failure will determine your future.
Unrecognized Failure – Failing to Take Responsibility Sometimes we fail and we brush it aside quickly and move on. Is this failure since we are moving past it? Yes. It is just that you have justified it in some way instead of learning from it. When failures are not learning tools then you have gained nothing by your failure and are most likely destined to repeat it.
Someone Else’s Failure Becoming Your Own Sometimes there is a domino effect where someone else’s failure can affect your success to the point where you will fail. An example of this would be a lot of us saw with the recession…through no fault of our own, our clients dried up. Although outside forces can affect you, in most cases this is a minor setback and with determination and hard work you can get back on your feet. It is important though to learn from it and to see the warning signs so that you can protect yourself in the future as much as possible.
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Systematic Failure – When You Fail On All Fronts One thing that I have learned over the years is that when I find myself in this situation it means that I’m going in the wrong direction and an immediate course correction is needed. It is not necessarily a signal to quit although it may be. Usually it is a major course correction that is needed and once that is done, you will be on your way.
True Failure Getting caught in the trap that you have done everything you can do and it is time to throw in the towel when in fact, that is not the actual truth. There are times when we need to cut our losses and get out – quit. Usually though, this is not the way to go. You are on the mission you are on because you chose it. As an entrepreneur you did your homework and have a vision and are focused. Your dream is in line with your heart’s desire. When you just quit instead of working through it, then yes, you have failed. So next time you fail at something, embrace it, learn from it, and move past it while knowing that it is not failure but that you are on a learning curve and this is only one small step of the over all picture. Only when you quit without regard for your dreams, your pride, or lessons learned have you truly failed.
Daye Salander:
Daye recently has walked away from the corporate world to pursue her love of antiques and collectibles. Once, a graphic designer and owner of a sign company, she has decided it was time to focus on the things she truly enjoys along with her husband, Mark. In a 180 degree turn she is an antiques dealer and collector. She buys, sells, acquires, and of course, collects. Daye works for iAntique.com part-time as their social networker and as a writer providing tips and info on antiques. She has an booth at Victoria Village Antiques in Snohomish, Washington as well as sells online at www.rubylane.com/shop/JunkboxTreasures and has just opened a “clearance” site at www.Etsy.com/shop/VintageMarkDown NOTE: This is fact is not exactly accurate. Although that was the plan, things seemed to have taken an unexpected turn. Daye is back running the sign company and re-creating it to fit a new business model that combines signs & displays that also include the home. The sign company is also becoming a retail store that will carry a wide variety of items for not just signs but displays for businesses as well as the home. Failure? Definitely NOT...but opportunity...
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If at First You Don’t Succeed… by Stephanie McDilda
Consider this scenario. You have decided to drive from New York City to Los Angeles. You pack up your car, fill up with gas, program the GPS, and off you go! Along the way you stop for lunch and dinner, take a few bathroom breaks, get held up in traffic, and run into some bad weather. It is the end of the day and you are in… OHIO!?! As you settle in for the evening, would you beat yourself up and call yourself a failure?? Of course not! Hopefully, you started out with a more realistic expectation of how long it would take to drive to California. The most important thing, however, is that you know you will get up tomorrow morning and keep going. How do you define failure? Would it surprise you to know that I do not believe in failure at all? Of course people try things that don’t work out the first time. I call that experience. I call it data collection. When you feel like you are experiencing failure, ask yourself these important questions: 1. What are you making this event mean? Does it mean that you can’t start over? Does it mean that you will never achieve your goal? Ask yourself whether you are choosing a negative definition for a neutral event. 2. What have you learned? Quick! Don’t lose the lesson. As soon as possible after experiencing a temporary stop, ask yourself what you have learned and what you might do differently. You will find that if you are busy focusing on what you have learned and the next steps… you won’t have time to see failure. 3. How can you change your story? Write the story of your experience. Is it fairly negative? Are you focused on the things that went wrong? Are you beating yourself up? Start your new journey to success by rewriting your story. Focus on your strengths and what you learned. Focus on why you are now better prepared for success. Life is sort of like that journey from New York to LA. Every day you run into unexpected obstacles and delays on your way to success. Every morning, you get up with the opportunity to keep going. I am constantly amazed by the number of people who try something once, and then give up if they are not successful at the first attempt. The world is filled with these people. Why do people give up so easily? 1. Fear of Failure. It hurts to fail! Some people will mock you or revel in your failure. (That response actually says more about them than it does about you… but that is another article.) Perhaps you have invested time or money in a project that you can’t afford to lose. When you hear people talk about “fear of failure”, what they often mean is fear of ridicule or fear of loss. 2. The Easy Button. We have become a nation of people who crave instant gratification. For most people, if they do not succeed quickly, they will give up and move on to the next thing. I doubt
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there is a person reading this who has not heard the story about Edison’s 10,000 attempts to invent the electric light bulb. (If you haven’t, email me and I will tell it to you!) 3. Focus on Failure. We believe in the first outcome and allow failure to define us. When things do not go as planned, do you moan “I am a failure”? Just because you have not been successful the on the first attempt does NOT mean that you can’t be successful on the second… or 10,000th! When we fail, we tend to get more focused on problems than on solutions. We focus on the negative effects rather than the positive possibilities. 4. The illusion of time. Time is not your enemy. Often, we have the idea that something must be accomplished in a specific period of time for us to be considered successful. As long as you don’t give up, you have not failed.
I teach a program called Unstoppable. In my list of the Top 15 Ways to Be Unstoppable, the first and the last are most appropriate for this topic. Look into your heart and evaluate your goal. Be sure that it is YOUR goal, and not someone else’s. Then: #1 - STOP! If you have decided that your goal does not really inspire your heart, perhaps you should stop. I do not define this as failure. Your greatest success starts the minute you stop doing what doesn’t serve you. It opens the door for what does inspire you! #15 - DON’T STOP! If this goal is really important to you, if it inspires your heart, then you must keep going. You may have to take a few detours. You may have to temporarily shift your focus, but never lose sight of your dream. You have not failed as long as you continue on your journey. Napolean Hill once said – “Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit.” Failure is like success in that each of us can and should determine our own definition. I have personally experienced more than what I feel are my fair share of setbacks. My strength comes in how I perceive each event, how I choose to define it, and what I choose to do with it. I have chosen to remove the word failure from my vocabulary. Stephanie McDilda Stephanie is an expert on unconditional love – for yourself and others. As a speaker, coach, and author, she enjoys working with professional women and corporate leaders. She supports her clients in translating love into a powerful leadership strategy first for themselves, and then for others. Stephanie is warm, approachable, encouraging, and intuitive. She looks forward to connecting with you and learning how she can best support you. You can connect with her on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/FlashpointInternational or email her at stephanie@flashpointinternational.com
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A THING ABOUT CHICKENS The FAA has a device for testing the strength of windshields on airplanes. They point this thing at the windshield of the aircraft and shoot a dead chicken at about the speed the air- craft normally flies at it. If the windshield doesn’t break, it’s likely to survive a real collision with a bird during flight. The British had recently built a new locomotive that could pull a train faster than any before it. They were not sure that its windshield was strong enough so they borrowed the testing device from the FAA, reset it to approximate the maximum speed of the locomotive, loaded in the dead chicken, and fired. The bird went through the windshield, broke the engineer’s chair, and made a major dent in the back wall of the engine cab. They were quite surprised with this result, so they asked the FAA to check the test to see if everything was done correctly. The FAA checked everything and suggested that they might want to repeat the test using a thawed chicken. ENGINE FAILURE An airliner is flying accross country, when the pilot comes on the PA to announce, “we have some bad news. One of the engines just failed and as a result, we will be delayed by 30 minutes.” A bit later, the pilot returns, “we have some more bad news. Another engine just failed, and we will be delayed an additional hour.” Another bit later, “Sorry folks, more bad news. A third engine just failed, and so, since we will be running only on the one remaining engine, the flight will be delayed by another two hours.” At this point, a disgruntled passenger turns to his neighbor and says, “I sure hope that last engine keeps working or else we’ll be up here all night!”
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That Out of the Ashes Thing by Liz LaClair
Just what is an “epic failure” and the lesson learned? Well, for me it’s a variety of things. There was the time in my career that every job I had (it seemed) went bankrupt or merged with another company shortly after I started. Kind of makes a girl feel like a jinx! This kind of job result could make a person want to give up and crawl into a cave somewhere and say go away world! Or, there were the times I tried two different multi-level marketing companies. Failed horribly, the second attempt led us in to bankruptcy. This also led me to feeling like a complete and utter failure. You know, the “oh woe, is me” syndrome. The old crash and burn thing. So, what happened? It’s still a learning, growing process. Yes, I did find a long-term job that I loved, I was there for 7 years. Then they went and merged with another company and didn’t need me any longer. Well, at least it lasted longer than the previous jobs – anywhere from 1 – 3 years. Then there was the interesting job I had (that really required an additional part-time person to handle properly). This job was not meant for me. I liked it. There was a variety of things I was handling. But I wasn’t listening to my inner voice. It found a way to make me listen. At that job was when I had a lifetime record of seizures. Yes, I felt like a failure. Why? I had no control over the events. I had no control over the companies failing, or merging with another company because the business owners were getting older and didn’t feel there was anyone “worthy” of taking over. But, I did/should have had some control of the outcome of the MLM company. The lesson learned from that: I do not have the ability to sell. I couldn’t even get my own family to buy anything.
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How bad is that? The lesson learned from the other? I started my own company. I will not lie to you – it wasn’t an overnight success. But, it is growing and I am in control (well except for the marketing thing). But something wonderful happened that really boosted my spirits. Just the other day I checked my Google ranking. Looking for online secretary got me 50+ million hits with my company – Virtually Helps – on the first page! Not too shabby! So my lesson learned, after all this time, is: don’t give up, the right thing is out there waiting to be found.
Liz LaClair I have TWO best parts of my life. I’m thrilled to have found my business calling! I truly enjoy working with my clients – the work I do is fun! Check out how I got past my challenges – learn how I’m taking what was a not so good and making it great. Yes, I write a blog too. I’m a small business entrepreneur who likes working/supporting other small businesses. The other best part of my life? I’m married to the love of my life. He’s very supportive of what I’m doing. Who could ask for more? You can find me at http://www.virtuallyhelps.com/
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OOOPS I won’t do that again! by Mary Joyce
Honestly – failure doesn’t even register on my radar as it’s all just learning in my book. I always put it down to experience what else is it? If it’s not life or death I don’t sweat it. If we did everything perfectly every time how would we ever progress or learn anything? We’d never challenge ourselves to do better. We need the contrast of things going wrong to appreciate when things work out as planned. It’s really about perspective, and how much emphasis we put on something. Intuitively I know if something will work out or not. If failure is the same as mistakes then I’ve made plenty. Take for instance the time years ago I lost £100,000 pounds and was called upstairs to see the department manager to explain where it had gone. I remember taking the long route upstairs, walking through my whole floor to take the stairs at the far end of the building so I’d have more time to try and work out why the hell he wanted to talk to me. I had no idea what it was about at that stage. Plus he was a bit of a misery and not the friendliest person. So there I was thinking I’d obviously charmed him to get an invite. When he explained why he wanted to talk to me, I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. I was an administrative assistant at the head office of huge nationwide supermarket. My job was to authorise payments to suppliers for work they carried out. I worked in the marketing/print buying department, so it was payment for the printing of leaflets/posters, which they have in stores for weekly offers etc. I was young, didn’t fully understand the accounting part of my admin role. I’d only taken it on as I got to sit down all day (So ambitious in those early years, sitting down and working 9-5 sold it for me). My job was to sort through invoices, separate out the different companies, then put them in internal envelopes and send them to finance for payment. Simple enough. That part I could do, it was just a teeny tiny vital piece of information I couldn’t get my head around. It was something called a tax month or some other name I can’t remember. Which meant that on some invoices, I wasn’t supposed to authorise payment until after a certain date in the month, it varied so couldn’t get a handle on it. No matter how many times this was explained to me I just couldn’t understand how to work it out, it just made no sense to me and used to tune out just as it got to the important bit D’oh. So that’s how I’d lost the £100,000 pounds, I’d authorised a payment earlier that it was meant to go through oops. I could have taken that experience as being a failure for not understanding a company’s tax payment system (its probably a universal system, I never did work an office job again after that) instead I choose to take it that working in a cubicle with an office full of people who don’t communicate with each other just wasn’t for me. So it was sayanara and a return to standing up all day talking to people in a more customerfocused job and one you could work in with a hangover. Sometimes all the signs are there, that what we are doing isn’t right for us yet we choose to ignore the
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signals and plod on regardless and perhaps feel a failure as we feel like a square peg in a round hole. Or is it the other way round? So before you write yourself off as a failure Ask yourself. Is it more a case of resistance and not enjoying what you are doing so you begin unconsciously sabotaging yourself? Or just a case of not understanding taxes.
Mary Joyce is a life and relationship coach, naturally gifted intuitive, works with the angelic Realm, and Mum to two beautiful young children. She runs a couple of weekly life coaching workshops for women, works with local government agencies in the UK providing trainings in both life and career coaching. She works with women from every background from Entrepreneurs, small business owners to single mothers to help them live a life of Purpose and prosperity. You can find Mary at www.marymjoyce.com.
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Each week we have WINNERS that we think you should know. These are people on our Facebook Page that take the time to not only be actively involved but Share, Like, Post, Re-post, and Comment. Visit our FanPage at www.facebook.com/ItsAllAboutYes and GET INVOLVED! We would LOVE to promote you! So, Let Us Introduce....! Diane Aronwich Achievable Excellence Hypnotherapy & Coaching offers help with confidence building, weight management, stopping smoking, stress management, phobias, sleep problems, and much more using a combination of NLP and hypnotherapy. I also provide personal and career coaching. My approach is down to earth, practical and client led to enable the client to find their own answers. Visit Diane at http://facebook.com/achievableexcellence Liz LaClair Hi, I’m Liz LaClair. I hope you have fun with the words and definitions I’ve found to post. Feel free to make any comments - your feedback is appreciated! I guess as editor I like to play with words. For virtual assistant support, you can find me at: https://www.facebook.com/ VirtuallyHelps or my website:www.virtuallyhelps.com. Kelly Beaversdorf I don’t have a website or my own blog as of yet. I have been writing on Jennifer Shelton’s website for about a year now. Last month I became a monthly guest blogger on Muse in the Valley. I am also a Usui Reiki Master, currently exploring other Reiki healing techniques with Reiki Master Teacher Alice Langholt. I have been studying astrology, intuition development since 2010, and will be pursuing a massage therapy certificate later this year. Look for a FaceBook Fan Page in the near future. In the meantime you can find me at: https://twitter.com/kellybeav and on Linkedin: http://www.linkedin.com/pub/kelly-beversdorf/2b/230/9a0 Jihan Cover Jihan is a life coach and MoMpreneur. She is dedicated to helping others transform their lives. Currently, Jihan is offering a free 30 min life coaching session and 30 day meal plan/ personal trainer workout plan for new challengers. Check in with Jihan on her FB page https://www.facebook.com/jihan.cover
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ALL ABOUT YES INTERVIEW: ALL ABOUT Liz LaCLAIR YES: Before we get in to the whys and wherefores, explain to us – just what is Virtually Helps? LL:
Well, I’m a virtual assistant. My “specialty” is more along the line of a concierge-type secretary – you know, a Gal Friday. I have clients who need me to help with their proposals and presentations, another who needs me to confirm appointments and verify insurance, and others who have me work with their newsletters/blogs. In a couple of situations, if it was something I didn’t have knowledge of, so I could do the job right, I found the right/better person for them.
YES: What possessed you to start your business? Why did you become an entrepreneur? LL:
To keep my sanity(?) I suppose. Because my epilepsy had gotten to a point in 2006 that my doctor told me I could not work in an office/corporate world. I had to do something. A company where I loved working merged with another in 2005 and I was no longer needed. A former boss went back to working his business (an off-shoot) privately. He would call me periodically to have me work on his reports. During this time I was also trying to find similar work I could do from home. This is how I found my second client, she was the one who told me about virtual assistants. So Virtually Helps, LLC started out of necessity. It was necessary for me to do something, to be able to contribute, AND not to go nuts.
YES: Does anyone close to you (family friends) help you with your business? LL:
Currently, it’s the “three of us” – the hardworking team of Me, Myself and I. I’m sure you’ve heard of the team, maybe have that one for yourself? God knows I love my husband, but he makes for a terrible secretary!
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YES: What’s your favorite thing about being an entrepreneur? LL:
WOW, I’d have to say being able to do the type of work I LOVE, and still be able to contribute. I just never really expected that contribution to go beyond my little office. You know? I have my website, write my own blog (and people actually read it), and teach a local Adult Ed course! I never expected to be able to do these kinds of things, to be considered knowledgeable, that people would take me seriously.
YES: What types of services/products do you offer? LL:
Oops, I guess I answered that at the start. Well, basically I’m a secretary. I work with my clients and their documents – “branding” them to make them (tastefully) stand out from a crowd. When I work on those documents I’m also editing and/or suggesting another way to say something. I work with them on their presentations, to enhance them as well. I design flyers/brochures/business cards and then have them printed. I offer a variety of desk-top publishing, and document services. There’s newsletter/blog work – edit and in some cases post. Then there’s the social network posting I do – write up posts and process. I also handle some database management, and internet research.
Did you notice that the creative stuff is listed first? That part is what I LOVE to do the most. I’ve even re-designed my logo this year.
YES: What challenges do/did you face? LL:
When you have any medical condition you face challenges. When your doctors tell you, you can’t work in an office and prescribe medications that make you a tad “foggy” at times. A person can be very nervous about doing anything and the self-esteem has left the building! Throw in that I am actually very shy (until I really get to know people), I am amazed that I’ve gotten anywhere. With that self-esteem issue, there’s the marketing myself challenge. I know I can do the work and give good advice, but I just can’t seem to “sell” me/my skills. But, when I feel “foggy” and need to sleep, I’m blessed to be able to work at home so I can take a nap to re-charge my batteries and continue working. Everything gets done. I haven’t missed a deadline. This challenge is actually very hard for me to talk about – because I’m afraid I’d loose potential clients this way. You know, folks may think I’m just not reliable.
YES: What recommendations do you give other women who are thinking about starting a business? (or business similar to yours/in your field) LL:
To quote a line in one of my favorite books: Frank Herbert’s Dune series “Fear is the mind-killer.” Of course the entire phrase is something to keep in mind, have on a wall somewhere. I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain. So, what I’m trying to say, don’t let fear win! Do what you know in your heart you can do. Do what makes your heart sing!
YES: Best question for last – What does success mean to you? LL:
I’ve won. That I can do this.
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Failure to Communicate by JW Stafford
When we fall short of our own expectations or the expectations of others we have failed. Life has been full of failures. But perhaps my greatest failure in life has been a failure to communicate. Throughout my life I have been a strong communicator. Through music, art, dance, teaching, writing, acting and even modeling I have communicated ideas, information, emotions and experiences. I have the ability to connect with a wide range of people, be it personality, age, country of origin or socioeconomic status. I have used my ability to communicate to support others and to open up the possibilities of the world. But my greatest failure has been to effectively communicate to defend myself against false statements made about me by others. I am NOT talking about being a victim!! I made my own decisions not to engage in the noise of hate and judgment. But sometimes people have their own issues and they point a finger at someone else. Several people have pointed fingers at me. But I chose not to engage. Unfortunately this does not always result in the other person losing interest; rather, some haters take it as permission to continue talking trash and as proof that they are right!! I so effectively remove toxic people like this from my life that I am no longer even aware of them – let alone their attacks. My failure to communicate, to engage in the shit battle, has given room and time to the shit slingers to create big smelly messes. And these messes are now hurting people I love. So, while I chose to refrain from being judgmental or saying hurtful things here goes: 1. I do not use drugs. 2. I do not have a problem with shopping. 3. I am not a hoarder. 4. I made a mistake when I agreed to let my kids (at 10 and 11) live with their Dad. I miss them so much it has nearly killed me – no drama, just true. Their Dad said he would email weekly updates, he said he would keep guns away from the kids; he said he would take no child support money. All Lies. 5. I made many mistakes with my eldest. I have learned the terrible consequences of trying to fill a hole with things bought. My dear
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Can you share your story of failure that ended up being anything but failure? When did you realize that in fact you had not truly failed? What was your strength as you muddled through? Now that it is in the past, do you often remember it and how have your feelings changed about what happened with time? How do you feel about possible future failures and do you have a plan for dealing with it? In looking back what did you learn that you can share with others?
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child, the hole is still there, but I will not buy one more thing to try to fill it. I am sorry for your pain. But it was not my fault. I did everything I could do. I will always love you, but I can’t fix this. I never could. 6. Family members who gossip and judge others suck. If there was a real problem and they were real family then they would figure out how to help with love. Getting drunk and talking trash is just drunken trashiness. Look in the mirror. So, these are maybe just topics for discussion, but I am trying to communicate to the liars, drama queens, manipulators, the confused, and sorry-ass people who I usually simply ignore. I use my communication skills to act as an advocate for others all the time. It’s time to advocate for myself. Stand up. Get mad and give that anger a healthy voice. You just can’t always count on people to do the right thing. If you are like me and have a spirit of love, maybe we need to love a little more loudly!!
Jill Stafford combine s her MS in Holistic Teaching & Learning with her Professional Coaching practice, Meet your Goals. Currently residing in Fredericksburg, VA, she enjoys working with adult college students with special needs, health and weight loss clients, as well as small business owners. Jill is highly creative and intuitive and is a radio host, song writer and author. Visit her Coaching Page at http://www.facebook.com/jill.stafford. coach Her Holistic Teaching, Learning and Living Page at http://www. facebook.com/pages/Holistic-Teaching-Learning-and-Living/203570723015315 and her My Vi Story Page at http://www.facebook.com/pages/My-Vi-
Story/352045021482026 . Of course if you want to learn more about the Body By Vi 90 Day Challenge go to http://vibrantyou.bodybyvi.com/ Jill looks forward to hearing from our readers and
partnering with you to make YOUR goals realities!!!!
The Road To Success and The Road To Failure Are One And The Same
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EPIC FAILURES by Tricia Dycka
How do you handle failure and is it really failure? Tough question, we all handle life’s challenges differently. I sit here now wondering what advice and direction I could give. To me the word failure is a learning lesson. If you do not get up again after you get knocked to your knees then it truly is a failure. Staying in mediocrity and never reaching for your dreams because you stay on the path others have pushed you on is a failure. Mind you there will be several times when you get knocked down. If you learn something and move on it is a plus. Recently I had a session with Tracie Nicholas called soul listening. If you are interested check her out http://alchemyfortheearth.com/listening-sessions I asked her three questions one of which was what is my next step? How do I move forward? The answer she received was because of past lives I had EPIC FAILURES. First for those of you who do not believe in past lives in the beginning when I started on this path years ago neither did I. Second I apparently lived with epic failures so much so I can see how I shy away from failing big time. One of my spectacular failures was during the 1800s in France. I led a group of women during a political uprising in where no one survived and to boot I had to watch all of them being executed for treason before my turn came. Talk about epic failure!!! So after that all the rest can be considered little mistakes. What I find interesting is I put together this eZine for women by women. After learning this I had to think about what was I doing? Was I reaching for the stars or standing back? I realized I was holding part of myself back. Afraid of really being out there and the back lash I would receive from others. As I look back at what I perceived were learning times (failures) I went through a series of emotions and of course the crying. Sadness, anger, depression and then I would get filled with passion for the next step. Of course it didn’t just appear magically I would go out and find it. How? By trying new things and being adventurous. Finding out what I liked to do and using my strengths. Fast forward to today and I realize that my biggest strength is knowing what people hide from themselves by reading their energies. It was fear that kept me from announcing that to the world. I thought people would think I was crazy. Do I care? A little but what scares me even more, is being on my death bed and wishing my life had been different. How do I know I am on the right path now? It scares the shit out of me. Learning what was an epic failure hundreds of years ago has allowed me to see that I am holding myself back and it is just time to let my juices flow and reach out to be all I can be despite what others may or may not say.
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Imagine yourself on your deathbed looking back on your life and what do you see? Having an adventurous life, fun, full of love or trials, being a zombie, doing the same thing over and over every day just to get by? That just sucks. To lose yourself in mediocrity just because you might face a little failure is not worth losing the life you can have.
Tricia Dycka: Tricia is an Entrepreneur, life enthusiast, author, intuitive, funny, very candid, great listener. Take the path less traveled. Living in the moment. Enjoys massive amounts of chocolate and coffee. Supportive friend who is there for you when everyone else has abandoned you and thinks you have lost your mind. Encourages entrepreneurs to embrace themselves so they can create an environment that supports their dreams. You can find me at www.triciadycka.com
Do You Remember?
Failure Is Not An Option.
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Turning Failures Into Lessons by Lori Latimer Did you ever get an “F” in school? I did. It’s something I will never forget. I was in 7th grade and I got an “F” on a math test. I was devastated! I’d always struggled in math. After I failed that test, my parents got a tutor for me. As a child that almost always got As and Bs in school, I felt like the failure that “F” represented. But what did that “F” really represent? Rather than looking at it as having failed at something, what if I reframed it and looked at it as a lesson? A lesson that I needed to study more when it came to math. A lesson that I needed to ask more questions in class. A lesson that I wasn’t always going to be “perfect.” Failure, success and perfection are simply terms we use to measure and compare things. But we each have the ability to define for ourselves what they mean to us. There is no “one size fits all” when it comes to success and failure. When I read someone’s hands, they’re always anxious and excited to hear about their Life Purpose. Who wouldn’t be?! And while I love decoding that for them, I believe the more important piece I’m able to decode for them is their Life Lesson. Because while it’s great to know your Life Purpose, if you don’t know your Life Lesson, you won’t recognize it when it pops up and it will keep you from moving toward or more fully into your Life Purpose. Your Life Lesson is that thing that keeps tripping you up. It’s your biggest challenge in life. It’s what you may perceive as your biggest failure. Here’s a secret: We all have them! We all struggle with many of the same issues. But we each have one specific Life Lesson that’s our biggest challenge, the one we run into over and over again throughout life. You might feel you aren’t good enough. You might feel helpless, like a victim of circumstance. You might feel you can’t speak up for yourself. These are all examples of some of the Life Lessons we all face. In fact, failure itself is one of the possible Life Lessons. Here’s another secret: Our Life Lessons are really our biggest opportunities for growth. When you do something and it doesn’t turn out the way you’d hoped, wanted, or planned, how do you define it? Do you look at it as a failure? If so, don’t! Instead, look at it as a lesson, an opportunity to try it again, with some modifications or adjustments. Maybe it’s an opportunity to learn. Maybe it’s an opportunity to do something you’ve never done before. Maybe the lesson is that you were playing too small and you need to play bigger! The most important thing is that you don’t give up. You may have heard the analogy of a child learning to walk. Just because he falls down the first time doesn’t mean he failed and shouldn’t ever try again! In the same way, just because
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you didn’t get the result you wanted with something doesn’t mean you failed and should just give up. And it absolutely does not mean that you are a failure. We’ve all had setbacks and disappointments, both in our businesses and personal lives. And every single one of them made us who we are today. Be grateful for the experiences you’ve had and the opportunities they’ve given you to grow and learn. Then take those lessons, learn from them, and try again. And ask yourself this question: What if something didn’t work out the way you’d hoped because there’s something even better out there for you? Remember that you can’t go back and undo what’s already happened. But you can use the knowledge you gained and turn it into something even bigger and better. Lori Latimer Lori is a hand analyst, an intuitive coach, speaker, and certified teacher of The Art Of Feminine Presence. She’s also a mom and grandma to two darling little grandsons. Working as a paralegal in family law for many years and going through her own divorces (yes, more than one!), she saw a pattern in herself and other women who’d been successful in their careers but were missing something in their personal lives. She now loves helping women find joy and passion within themselves so they’re able to find all of that and more in both their personal and business lives – just as she’s done. You can find her at www.lorilatimer.com.