VOLUME 2; ISSUE 6
It’s All About YES VOLUME 2; ISSUE 6
JUNE 6, 2012 JUNE 6, 2012 ISSN 2162-4283
YES
IT’S ALL ABOUT
Written by Women, for Women
Our guest writers: Liz Nonnemacher Lori Latimer Jennifer Shelton Jill Stafford Daye Salander Liz LaClair Tricia Dycka Stephanie McDilda Mary Joyce
Staying Focused As Life Storms Around You...
It’s All About YES
VOLUME 2; ISSUE 6
JUNE 6, 2012
TABLE OF CONTENTS Letter From The Publisher Pg. 3 On The Rocks Pg. 4 Daye Salander
Just Like The Tide Pg. 5 Stephanie McDilda
C’est la Vie Pg. 7 Mary Joyce
Finding Opportunities, Centered Understanding, Spirit Pg. 8 Jill Stafford
Keeping Focus When Everything Around You is Pg. 11 Falling To Crap Liz Nonnemacher
Set Your Boundaries and Claim Your Power Pg. 13 Lori Latimer
Sometimes You Just Need To Laugh Pg. 15 When Focus Is Bad Pg. 16 Jennifer L. Shelton
Focus / Out Of Focus Pg. 18 Liz LaClair
Fan of The Week Pg. 19 Falling Down The Rabbit Hole Pg. 20 Tricia Dycka
Publisher: Tricia Dycka Editor-In-Chief: Daye Salander Editor: Liz LaClair
Copyright 2012 It’s All About Yes
VOLUME 2; ISSUE 6
It’s All About YES
JUNE 6, 2012
Letter From The Publisher
As I sit here thinking about my letter to you, I wonder what to say that will inspire and motivate you. My mission for this ezine has grown way beyond what I had originally thought it would become. It has become my mission to share our stories with all of you, so that you know you are Not alone. You are not alone in this quest for your dreams to become reality. We will share with you our choices that have helped, hindered, made us laugh, rejoice and last but not least cry. Cry as if the world would end because we could not see the light. That light is the next step or choice to continuously move forward towards those dreams. A choice that if not made is still a choice. As individuals, part of our families, our communities and how to reach many others that we would be helping. How many times have you felt you’ve just wanted to give up? Say F it, this is not worth it? The obstacles and challenges we all face may seem insurmountable at times yet know we walk with you holding your hand. Reach out to us, we want to share your journey, cheer you on and hug you when you feel you cannot walk another step. This month’s article is all about the mountain of crap being thrown on us and how we have continued moving forward. I want to wish all of our readers a great summer beginning.
Are you looking to connect with other women entrepreneurs? Do you need encouragement or advice from others that have traveled this same road? Have you been seeking a group of women that work together to help each other; that support and encourage each other? Well, if so, you found us! Join the conversation on Facebook Today!
VOLUME 2; ISSUE 6
It’s All About YES
JUNE 6, 2012
On the Rocks? by Daye Salander
Entrepreneurs tend to think that every day they have to be “brilliant”. That they have to be the master at the helm with a firm grip on the wheel, making it appear “easy” to the casual onlooker. I’m thinking…Not so much. I think everyone has moments of brilliance and the smart ones do something with it. There are days, weeks, or even months of being good; really good. But there are also times of mediocrity when we feel like we are not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
is business that important?
So I got to wondering why I had mediocre days and I stumbled upon something that seems to correlate directly to it. It is that period of time, no matter how long, when there is little spark and often no brilliance that I find that life is literally raging around me and I’m spending my time looking for a hole to dive into or a life-preserver to don instead of paying attention to my business. I’m looking for self-preservation of heart and soul and after all, in those moments,
Interesting question. One could say that you are self-sabotaging by opting to be in the middle of the storm. One could say that you must force yourself to keep moving forward regardless of what is going on around you. One could say that ‘that’s life’ and just permit themselves to be dashed again the rocks. What do I say? What the hell do I know? Hmmm….well, there is something that I have learned over the years… Be true to yourself and who you are. That being said, if you are headed in the right direction in your business then even if you do not move forward, you maintain. You do not permit the business to go backwards. Just like a ship in a storm it both fights the wind and sea and uses its predictability at the same time. A ship turns into the wave charging it but at the same time permits itself to be lifted up and over. The ship isn’t getting far and it’s going to be late to port but it maintains. Let’s face it, life happens. You have two choices. You let the storm dash you against the rocks or you keep a firm hand on the wheel. Daye recently has walked away from the corporate world to pursue her love of antiques and collectibles. Once, a graphic designer and owner of a sign company, she has decided it was time to focus on the things she truly enjoys along with her husband, Mark. In a 180 degree turn she is an antiques dealer and collector. She buys, sells, acquires, and of course, collects. Daye works for iAntique.com part-time as their social networker and as a writer providing tips and info on antiques. She has an booth at Victoria Village Antiques in Snohomish, Washington as well as sells online at www.rubylane.com/shop/ JunkboxTreasures and has just opened a “clearance” site at www.Etsy.com/shop/VintageMarkDown
It’s All About YES
VOLUME 2; ISSUE 6
JUNE 6, 2012
Just like the Tide… by Stephanie McDilda
You have great plans, and yet, instead of everything coming together it seems to be falling apart! Believe it or not, this is a natural part of manifesting your dreams… but it is also the place where many of us get tripped up! The Law of Attraction tells us that what you focus your attention on grows in your experience. Because I understand energy, I want very much to be positively focused, but it seems to be part of human nature to see the negative popping up everywhere… kind of like Whack-a Mole at the State Fair. As things fall apart, our fears take over. We start to worry or get discouraged. At this time, the average person tends to focus on what is not happening. We say things like – • “No matter how hard I work, I don’t seem to be making any money!” OR • “I’ve been looking for the right job for so long, but no one will hire me!” OR we start to fixate on what we don’t want… often identified as our “fears”, so you might be heard to say – • “I know I am meant to do this. I don’t want to lose my business.” OR • “I need to find a job. I don’t want to lose my home.” “BUT WAIT,” you argue, “That’s just reality!” And THAT is what makes the process so tough. What you believe you see is what captures your attention. However, if you understand the Law of Attraction, you also know you help create that “reality” with the power of your attention. Every time you speak what you don’t want, you invite it in and make it feel welcome.
Continued...
Something To Ponder... Just a couple of “Words of wisdom” that were shared by the executive women while participating in this year’s Girl Scout camp program called “Dreaming Your Future”. • • • • • • • •
Have the courage to stand alone. Whatever you do be the best at it you can be. Leadership is…the ability to bring the best out of people. Create the Unexpected. Find your voice. If you come to a bump in the road don’t make it a mountain. Treat people with respect; Tell them the truth. You may have to reinvent yourself.
VOLUME 2; ISSUE 6
It’s All About YES
JUNE 6, 2012
Let’s talk briefly about another natural law – The Law of Polarity. The Law of Polarity says that for every experience there is an equal and corresponding opposite. From a very early age you have heard – “What goes up must come down.” (In fact, I’ll bet you finished that sentence faster than I could write it!) At the beach you notice the tide goes out… and the tide comes in. It is a law of nature, and if things are falling apart, you are simply experiencing one half of a cycle. What falls apart will eventually come together… unless you are focused on the lack. Esther Hicks and Abraham have said that to appreciate what you desire, you must first experience the “not that”. It might be hard to appreciate the warmth of the summer sun if you had not also experienced the icy bite of winter. Neale Donald Walsch, in his book Happier than God, talks about the Law of Opposites, which basically says that before you have what you desire you will first experience the opposite. In experiencing the opposite, you are more easily able to appreciate what you desire when it finally comes! And then, of course, there is the most famous philosopher of all – Mom, who told us “It’s always darkest before the dawn.” So what does this mean in the face of everything falling apart? When things seem bleak and just the opposite of what you want, most of us focus on what is not happening and, as promised, we manifest more of what we don’t want. How do you stay focused on what you WANT, when what you don’t want is so in your face? One of the best tips I can recommend is to hire a coach. One of my favorite quotes says – “A friend is someone who knows the song in my heart and sings it to me when I forget the words.” The same could be said of a coach whose whole mission is to keep you focused on what you want… while supporting you in clearing away the rubble of what you think you see! For other suggestions… go to the It’s All Yes fan page and join by clicking “Like”. During June, I will be posting some other suggestions for helping you to stay focused on what you want. I’d love to have you in a conversation with me about those ideas… and maybe you will share some of your own! Until then… Trust that all of this “falling apart” is the precursor to you having your plans come together. The key is to consciously continue to focus on what you want even when you don’t see it, even when you fear it will never happen. Stay focused on what you desire and as promised in the Law of Polarity, what now seems to be falling apart will soon be coming together. Stephanie McDilda Stephanie is an expert on unconditional love – for yourself and others. As a speaker, coach, and author, she enjoys working with professional women and corporate leaders. She supports her clients in translating love into a powerful leadership strategy first for themselves, and then for others. Stephanie is warm, approachable, encouraging, and intuitive. She looks forward to connecting with you and learning how she can best support you. You can visit her on LinkedIn at http://www.linkedin. com/profile/edit?trk=hb_tab_pro_top or email her at stephanie@ flashpointinternational.com .
VOLUME 2; ISSUE 6
It’s All About YES
JUNE 6, 2012
C’est la Vie by Mary Joyce
I have to admit I found this month’s topic difficult as I tend to always keep my focus on what’s working in my life, that’s not to say I’ve lived a charmed life without challenges. I believe being blessed with such a chaotic upbringing has served me well as an adult. Having such instability has given me the tools to adapt quickly to any situation and not take anything for granted. Having a clear vision of where you want to go and holding that space for yourself, being gentle with yourself and not being to rigid in your thinking or beliefs helps you deal with most of what life brings to you. It’s when we become too attached to someone or thing that the thoughts of losing them/it can be really difficult. Are you a big worrier? Driving yourself out of your mind about things, you can’t do anything about to change the situation, like the weather or the price of gas. If there is nothing you can do about it, what’s the point of worrying? “I keep the telephone of my mind open to peace, harmony, health, love and abundance. Then, whenever doubt, anxiety or fear try to call me, they keep getting a busy signal – and soon they’ll forget my number.” ~Edith Armstrong I tend to err on the side of action and just focus on what I can do and spend my energy there. Being surrounded by Chicken Little’s (you know the type, every incident is a major drama) can sometimes make it very tiring, putting out loads of imaginary fires. This has led to me being accused of lacking feeling due to my under reaction to things, not everyone likes the wait and see what happens first then panic method. It really comes down to how we behave in light of certain information, when we receive devastating news, life changing stuff we can in that moment either accept it or reject it. Either choice creates different outcomes. You can choose to face it front on, accept the situation and do what you can with what you have available to you. Or you can go into denial and adopt avoidance techniques where you abdicate responsibility and avoid making decisions until you are forced to. “Worrying is like a rocking chair: it gives you something to do, but doesn’t get you anywhere” ~ Van Wilder Mary Joyce is a life and relationship coach, naturally gifted intuitive, works with the angelic Realm, and Mum to two beautiful young children. She runs a couple of weekly life coaching workshops for women, works with local government agencies in the UK providing trainings in both life and career coaching. She works with women from every background from Entrepreneurs, small business owners to single mothers to help them live a life of Purpose and prosperity. You can find Mary at www.marymjoyce.com.
VOLUME 2; ISSUE 6
It’s All About YES
FOCUS: Finding Opportunities, Centered Understanding, Spirit by Jill Stafford
Life is stressful. The only way the stress gets better is to get better at living with it, navigating through it and taking action to get ahead of it. Sometimes it can be overwhelming. This can manifest with physical symptoms like headaches, pain, appetite changes and anxiety. Stress overwhelm can also blow your mind and cause difficulties in prioritizing, decision-making and concentration. So, just when we need to be at the top of our game, the crap around us conspires to rob of our focus. Finding the opportunity created by unpleasant stress is a sure way to reclaim focus. This may come easily or it may feel very foreign and take a bit of work. Trust me, it’s worth the effort!! Finding the opportunity requires shifting from being wrapped up in problem mode to opening up to opportunity mode. You have to be willing. You have to allow the stressor(s) to be agents for positive change. My small business provides academic tutoring and coaching services to adult learners. I love what I do and am able to keep my work stress to a minimum. Not too long ago I had a client shoot me an email stating that they were not paying me for the latest invoice because they had just realized they had overpaid me by $1,200. What???? I was blind-sided, rent was due in days, and with my business so new I was living paycheck-to-paycheck. I was watching money so carefully that I knew there was no way $1,200 had just disappeared. We had not had any billing issues before, but I was sure they were mistaken. At first I was just paralyzed with disbelief. I realized quickly that I had to reconcile my books – everything in and out and when it happened – so I could present a clear summary for the client and get myself paid!! This was a stressful chore under stressful conditions. I sent the client a friendly, but professional email letting them know I was working the problem.
Continued...
JUNE 6, 2012
VOLUME 2; ISSUE 6
It’s All About YES
JUNE 6, 2012
In fact, as I got into figuring out what had happened my energy totally shifted from problem to opportunity. I was finding the opportunity I realized as I was sorting it all out!! This stress was pushing me to a new level of financial awareness and responsibility. And I was doing it!! In fact I had a glorious Aha moment when the numbers all made sense and I could see exactly what the error had been. I felt myself stepping into my own personal power as clear understanding showed that all was well. They had not overpaid me. They had mixed up and morphed two invoices into one. The numbers were similar enough to see how they could have made the mistake, but they were different enough to have clearly been two separate invoices. Feeling confident, I emailed a well-thought out, clear, professional summary of the billings. I sent a separate email with the current invoice for payment. And then I waited. Generally very quick to respond, hours usually, I began to stress out when twenty-four hours went by with no reply. Over the course of the next 3 days I practiced my breathing and meditation. Clients were preparing for final exams and I went to work with a sharpness and focus that felt good. I gently pushed the “crappy attitude” thoughts out of my head. The ones where I thought I would send a whiney email or an angry email. On the fourth day my paycheck arrived. No note about the snafu. In fact, there has been no mention of it to this day. And I’m OK with that, because in the end the whole situation allowed me to step into my power as a professional and focus on the opportunities for my own growth. Exercising your power to choose to shift your energy puts you back in charge of what you will focus your energy on. Having a strong reference for time-management will help to ground your choices. I strongly recommend Stephen Covey’s First Things First with A. Roger Merrill and Rebecca R. Merrill. Even if you just explore the Time Management Matrix you will get some solid ideas. The matrix is divided into four quadrants. Quadrant I is the place where important and urgent tasks are placed. These tasks require your immediate attention. Focus is necessary to address important and time-sensitive demands such as deadlines, crises, pressing problems and meetings. Quadrant II is defined by tasks that are important, but not urgent. You have time and to really bring quality into your life you will want to make more time for these important tasks. Here are some of the things you will build when you spend time in Quadrant II: preparation, prevention, values clarification, relationship building, true re-creation and empowerment. Be fully present and spend some time in Quadrant II. Attention to making value based plans, meditating or being genuinely playful will give you strength and focus in all areas of life. Quadrant III masquerades as important, but really the urgency of the activities is what makes them seem important. They are not important. Here you will find stress and crap activities that are best kept to a reasonable minimum. Interruptions that take you away from important tasks can come in the form of phone calls, texts, emails, unnecessary meetings and whatever “right now” things that come up. Quadrant IV can actually be a popular place, but it is dubbed the Quadrant of Waste. The tasks in this quadrant are neither urgent nor important. We all need to escape sometimes, but mindless time-wasting activities do nothing to revitalize, energize or empower.
Continued...
VOLUME 2; ISSUE 6
It’s All About YES
JUNE 6, 2012
Knowing what is important will help you to focus on what is important. But 19th c. Danish philosopher Soren Kierkegarrd argued that knowledge isn’t enough. He felt he had more than enough knowledge and he really needed to know what to DO. And here is the most meaningful way to keep or find your focus when everything around you seems to truly be falling apart. Pray. Ask for guidance. Go deep and quiet and personal. Humbly ask, “What do I do now?” The answer will come.
Jill Stafford combine s her MS in Holistic Teaching & Learning with her Professional Coaching practice, Meet your Goals. Currently residing in Fredericksburg, VA, she enjoys working with adult college students with special needs, health and weight loss clients, as well as small business owners. Jill is highly creative and intuitive and is a radio host, song writer and author. Visit her Coaching Page at http://www.facebook.com/jill.stafford.coach Her Holistic Teaching, Learning and Living Page at http://www.facebook.com/pages/HolisticTeaching-Learning-and-Living/203570723015315 and her My Vi Story Page at http://www.facebook.com/pages/My-Vi-Story/352045021482026 . Of course if you want to learn more about the Body By Vi 90 Day Challenge go to http://vibrantyou.bodybyvi.com/ Jill looks forward to hearing from our readers and partnering with you to make YOUR goals realities!!!!
VOLUME 2; ISSUE 6
It’s All About YES
JUNE 6, 2012
Keeping Focus When Everything Around You is Falling To Crap by Liz Nonnemacher
When I was asked to write on this month’s subject, I realized that I can totally relate to this subject – and it’s become even more relative to my own life in the last year. Within the past year, I’ve made a major move and along with that, there have been many changes in my life. Moving to a new part of the country is an exciting adventure and brings with it another lifestyle and while it’s fun, it takes time for everyone to adjust. Meaning not just myself but the other members of my family. And within this time frame, about 3 months after we moved to be exact, one of our dogs was diagnosed with bone cancer. It was lousy and awful and we lost him a couple of months ago. This made our other dog very lonely so now we have a new puppy. You know, writing about all of this makes me very tired. I think it’s time for a nap So how does this tie into running a business? For me, the important thing is to keep reminding myself that when things are not going the way that I really want them to or I’m not feeling as creative as I used to or it just feels like a need a long, long, long break, I need to go easy on myself. Because there are a lot of other things going on. And it’s just the way it is. Believe me, I have to remind myself of this often. As in, “dear Liz, there are many things in your life that need attending to right now and work may have to take a back seat for awhile.” Does your life ever feel like this? As though there is so much going on, you can’t figure out how you can possibly run a business at the same time? Do you work from home like I do? And do you find that when you are sitting at your desk and attempting to get a bunch of work done, your family assumes that you really aren’t doing anything at all…you know…just plunking away at the computer keys?
Continued...
As an entrepreneur, do you ever feel distracted at times? It can be those bright, shiny objects that get in the way of staying focused on activities that bring results that create wealth. Can you relate? One of the reasons we get distracted is simply a creative avoidance tactic – when we are facing a task that takes us out of our comfort zone, or requires us to take risks – or simply because we have no idea what our revenue targets and goals are for the year. Having targets and goals are essential for growing a business, making money and a profit in order to ‘get somewhere’. It’s no different than taking a trip to a new place – which is when we often use a map to get there in a timely and safe and joyous way.
Read The Whole Article
VOLUME 2; ISSUE 6
It’s All About YES
JUNE 6, 2012
The thing to remember is that you do what you CAN do. Everything has a season. Sometimes your season isn’t today. Sometimes your today is meant to be working on other things…like getting your life together in general. I’ve been running Wickedly Chic for six years. That’s a long time. A lot has happened in my life in that time span. At times, I’m at the top of my game and totally focused and other times, different things in my life take precedence. Try to concentrate on going with the flow. Work will always be there. The things that truly matter (your family and your health, for example) must take priority. And if nothing seems to be going your way, take a break. Give yourself a breather. Come back to it later. You’ll feel refreshed…and if you don’t feel refreshed, you need more of a breather. Women are so hard on themselves. It’s time to start doing what truly works for us and stop comparing ourselves with what others appear to be doing. Liz Nonnemacher Liz is the Editor of Wickedly Chic, http://www.wickedlychic.com/, the hottest destination for shoppers seeking advice and product recommendations from the world of independent businesses. Liz’s experience as trend-spotter for her two daughters led her to Wickedly Chic in June of 2006. She is passionate about independent business and works hard to keep her readers both entertained and informed and to promote the businesses that are marketed within Wickedly Chic.
VOLUME 2; ISSUE 6
It’s All About YES
JUNE 6, 2012
Set Your Boundaries and Claim Your Power by Lori Latimer
Noise. Chaos. Overwhelm. Drama. It’s all around us. And sometimes it’s impossible to get away from it. Or so it seems. All while you’re trying to run a business. You have an article due. You have a client meeting. You promised someone you would send them a proposal by the end of the day. It’s enough to send a sane woman running like her hair is on fire! Short of throwing in the towel and crying “uncle,” what can you do? What you don’t do is give up! Often that might seem like the easiest thing to do, especially when the chaos and drama are deafening. But owning your own business is not for the faint of heart. The fact that you’ve chosen this path shows that you have strength and courage that many people don’t have. And that means you also have the strength to persevere in spite of any drama or chaos around you. You need to have systems in place before you get to a crisis point. That way, when things do start spinning out of control, you won’t be caught unprepared. The best way to accomplish this is to set boundaries. It’s critical that you protect your time and your energy. Think of a boundary as a fence around your time and energy. There’s a gate in the fence so you can let people in and out. But without a fence, everyone and everything has unlimited access to you. And before you know it, you’re caught up in the drama and chaos around you and giving away your precious time and energy. You need a fence to protect yourself. A boundary might mean turning off your email while you write an article. It might mean turning off your cell phone. It might mean putting a sign on your office door telling people that unless they’re bleeding, you are not to be disturbed. One of the best boundaries I’ve found is learning to say no instead of automatically saying yes to everyone and everything that wants some of my time and energy. Setting boundaries allows you to reclaim your power. We’ve all given our power away to other people and events in our lives. Being powerless makes us feel as if we have no control over our lives. And that’s when it’s so easy for us to get sucked right into the drama and chaos going on around us. So what do you do if people ignore and disrespect your boundaries? You have many options. For example, you may have to physically remove yourself from their presence if they’re literally in your room, office, or house. If they won’t leave, you may have to leave, at least for a period of time that will allow you to focus on whatever task or project needs your attention.
Continued...
It’s All About YES
VOLUME 2; ISSUE 6
JUNE 6, 2012
Unfortunately, if it’s an ongoing situation with someone that simply refuses to respect your boundaries, you may be faced with deciding whether or not to continue to have that person in your life. As hard as it might be, you may have to decide whether it’s jeopardizing your business to the point that you are no longer able to allow that person to be a part of your life. I’ve always firmly believed that if you want something badly enough, you’ll find a way to do it. That applies here, too. If your business is important enough to you in the overall scheme of your life and your future (and I know it is!), you’ll do what’s necessary to protect it. With all the iPads, laptops, and smart phones, we are literally connected 24/7. And there will always be someone that will want to creep into your life in a way that is not best for you or your business. Setting boundaries and reclaiming your power will make it easier when you’re faced with those situations!
Lori Laimer Lori helps women work through the issues they face as newly-single women. After working as a paralegal in family law for over 20 years and going through her own divorce, she discovered a way to heal the pain of past relationships and build a new life full of joy and passion. She now helps newly-single women and those going through divorce fall in love with themselves and their lives. You can find me at http://lorilatimer.com/
VOLUME 2; ISSUE 6
It’s All About YES
JUNE 6, 2012
(This week’s jokes come from FastUpFront, a business blog.) The Flowers A new business was opening and one of the owner”s friends wanted to send flowers for the occasion. They arrived at the new business site and the owner read the card; it said “Rest in Peace”. The owner was angry and called the florist to complain. After he had told the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he was, the florist said. “Sir, I”m really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry you should imagine this: somewhere there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying, “Congratulations on your new location!” A Professional Quiz The following short quiz consists of 4 questions and will tell you whether you are qualified to be a “professional.” Scroll down for each answer. The questions are NOT that difficult. 1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator? The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator put in the giraffe and close the door. This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way. 2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator put in the elephant and close the refrigerator. Wrong Answer! Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your previous actions. 3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend except one. Which animal does not attend? Correct Answer: The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. This tests your memory. OK, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one more chance to show your true abilities. 4. There is a river you must cross. But it is inhabited by crocodiles. How do you manage it? Correct Answer: You swim across. All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting. This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes.
VOLUME 2; ISSUE 6
It’s All About YES
JUNE 6, 2012
When Focus Is Bad by Jennifer L Shelton
This is one of the hardest articles I’ve ever been asked to write. But, I only just now realized why. It’s not because I have trouble focusing while everything around me is falling apart. I excel at it. I was BORN focused. And, that’s the problem. I write all the time. I write a daily post for my website; I’m working on two books. But, I write best what I’ve had to learn; when I share my struggles. And, focusing has never been a struggle. I know, you’re probably thinking, “okay, she’s never really had her life fall apart before.” Eight years ago, I was a stay-at-home mom to a two year old. My husband was working a new job (at a “starting” salary). We had a new house (with a mortgage) and a new car (with a payment). And, this husband leaves. He decides to move into the nearby college town and live like a carefree student again. Did I mention I did not have a job? But, I had the mortgage and car to pay for. Oh, and no childcare, or family around me, and had to figure out who could take care of my son, while I looked for jobs and went on interviews. And yes, my (now ex) husband was responsible for child support but there’s that whole legal thing you have to go through. And, retaining lawyers. Lawyers aren’t so fond of two year olds in their meetings either! Well, I managed it all. Kept the car. Still living in the house all these years later. In fact, I ended up buying him out of his part and assuming the mortgage. I found a temp job within three months, and had a full time job within six. I found daycare. I got everything nice and legal. On paper, everything was smooth and perfect, and people could not believe how strong I was! I was an emotional wreck. See, focus – exclusive focus – isn’t always the best thing. Sometimes, when your life falls apart, it is a signal that you need to make changes. Maybe even that you WANT to make changes but aren’t acknowledging it. That’s usually what happens with me. I was in graduate school for years. Got my Master’s. Did all the coursework for my Ph.D. I passed the first two comprehensive exams with flying colors. The third one, though, stumped my professors. These were essay exams, and they couldn’t understand what I was trying to say. There was a disconnect between their questions and my answers. They suggested I take it again. I cried. I threw tantrums. I realized – I had wanted to leave that Ph.D. program YEARS earlier, but had been so focused on completing my goal, that I had ignored my feelings. So, some part of me sabotaged the process to get me out. Would have been smoother to just quit, instead of going through three days of eight-hour exams!
Continued...
VOLUME 2; ISSUE 6
It’s All About YES
JUNE 6, 2012
When my husband left, it wasn’t a COMPLETE shock. I recognized the signs for months. But, I was so focused on keeping the marriage together, that I didn’t stop to ask myself if that was what I wanted. I put up with crap that no one should put up with, just because I was focused on a GOAL, and not my feelings. It’s important for all of us to learn a balance. When things fall apart, is it because we need to make changes? Because we want to make changes? In my life, that has almost always been the case. Luckily, when I decided to make those changes, I had my innate sense of focus to guide me through them. If you have trouble with focus (or in letting go of a goal) – ask for help from someone who is good at it! Read the articles of the other brilliant ladies in this group. No matter what your strengths or weaknesses, you don’t have to do any of this alone.
Jennifer L Shelton Jennifer is the founder and administrator of FemCentral, the Virtual Institute for Women, where she also works as an astrologer, intuitive coach and instructor. She teaches undergraduate, online classes in global cultures for Franklin University and works as an education, outreach and training consultant. She’s a writer. She’s a mom. She’s gloriously busy doing the things she loves. You can find Jennifer at www.jenniferlshelton.com
He who is not busy being born is busy dying. ~Bob Dylan It’s a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it. ~W. Somerset Maugham Whatever you can do or dream, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. ~Goethe A woman is like a teabag. You never know how strong she is until she gets into hot water. ~Eleanor Roosevelt Food nourishes the body, and laughter feeds the soul. ~Author unknown There are two kinds of people: those who think they can, and those who think they can’t, and they’re both right. ~Henry Ford
It’s All About YES
VOLUME 2; ISSUE 6
Focus/Out of Focus by Liz LaClair
I love, love, love to take pictures. However, there have been times when I’ve frustrated myself – the pictures weren’t as clear as they were intended to be. GASP! I started taking pictures back in the day when you used film. So, you had the expense of the film and processing before you could find out that UGH, that wasn’t suppose to look like that! You’re suppose to see the iris clearly – not the stems. (yes this is from film) But now there’s these handy things called digital cameras. So?
JUNE 6, 2012
Can Your Business Capitalize On One Of These Fun or Bizarre Days in June? June 1 - Dare Day June 5 - World Environment Day June 8 - Best Friends Day June 10 - Iced Tea Day June 14 - Flag Day June 16 - Fresh Vegies Day
Well you can take pictures, find out right away if it’s out of focus. If it’s out of focus then you can delete it and move on. (yes digital – a properly focused picture)
June 17 - Father’s Day June 20 - Summer Solstice
How cool is that?
June 23 - Natonal Pink Day
Now (sometimes) don’t you wish life was that easy? I mean really, to be able to re-gain your focus with just the click of a button or two?
June 25 - Log Cabin Day
Go ahead, ‘fess up – you know you have. At least once. For example, you could be so incredibly excited about an upcoming event that you mess up a project you’re working on. You’re not focused on the task at hand. Focusing on your business is key. Perhaps you can afford to make a mistake, maybe two. But how does that affect your integrity? Will clients feel they can count on you when things get tough? Or will they wonder, just how many times will it take to get this done right? I will admit that YES I have been guilty of losing my focus. Then I have to work that much harder to correct the mistakes/missteps I made to regain the trust of my client. Sometimes that’s much harder than it would have been to simply sit down, take a moment to focus.
Continued...
June 26 - Beauticians Day June 27 - Sunglasses Day June 29 - Camera Day June 29 - Hug Holiday June 30 - Meteor Day
VOLUME 2; ISSUE 6
It’s All About YES
JUNE 6, 2012
So, how is your focus? Is it more like that iris? The main part of the picture – the story is blurred and lost. Do you have to try too hard to understand? Or is your focus like that moth? Clear, sharp and you can easily read the story. Liz LaClair I have TWO best parts of my life. I’m thrilled to have found my business calling! I truly enjoy working with my clients – the work I do is fun! Check out how I got past my challenges – learn how I’m taking what was a not so good and making it great. Yes, I write a blog too. I’m a small business entrepreneur who likes working/supporting other small businesses. The other best part of my life? I’m married to the love of my life. He’s very supportive of what I’m doing. Who could ask for more? You can find me at http://www.virtuallyhelps.com/
ARE YOU USING PINTEREST FOR YOUR BUSINESS? Pinterest is Hot Hot Hot! Do you have questions about how it works and how you can use it to drive traffic to your website or blog? There are a slew of articles out there to help get you started. Here is a short list where you can begin to understand this newest social networking site. 9 Tips: Boost Your Business With Pinterest (Inc Magazine) 6 Tips for Using Pinterest for Business (Social Media Examiner) How To Use Pinterest For Business (HubSpot) Learn the Basics of Using Pinterest for Business (PC World) 14 Tips for How to Use Pinterest for Business (CIO)
It’s All About YES
VOLUME 2; ISSUE 6
JUNE 6, 2012
Each week we have WINNERS that we think you should know. These are people on our Facebook Page that take the time to not only be actively involved but Share, Like, Post, Re-post, and Comment. Visit our FanPage at www.facebook.com/ItsAllAboutYes and GET INVOLVED! We would LOVE to promote you! So, Let Us Introduce....! Fans for June Issue
Eva King Thompson of Learning Bloxs
Angela Stinnett is a FB Fan and dog lover.
Stephanie J. McDilda is a Coach with Roving Coach International
It’s All About YES
VOLUME 2; ISSUE 6
JUNE 6, 2012
Falling Down the Rabbit Hole by Tricia Dycka
Have you caught yourself falling down the rabbit hole? Everything has gone to crap yet somehow you have to find the strength to continue moving forward? You feel like hiding under the covers is the best course of action? How many times have you caught yourself asking can this get any worse? My best advice to you is get off the hamster wheel in your head and take some serious time to figure out what will help you out in this moment. My Mom had a heart attack last summer. I got the call and went into crazy mode just running with no real direction. I needed to get to get to the hospital. Once there I waited to see what was going on. It is the waiting part I am not good at. I DO NOT have the patience for it. After that I knew what the priority was and thank God for the support network I had. Asked for help in several circles and it was there so that I could move forward. How do you handle life when the proverbial s**t hits the fan? 1. Stop the mind torture. Whatever it is that is falling to crap in your life right now, is it worth torturing yourself? 2. If it is that important what can you do right now in this moment that will change the situation or your reaction to it? 3. How can you keep your business moving while dealing with your issues? Having people close to you that can step in is a huge relief so that things will continue moving while you might be losing your mind. 4. Allow your emotions to be there. Are you feeling anger, sadness, fear, uncertainty? Rejecting or resisting will only magnify the situation. 5. Time to allow you to heal and take care of yourself. That is self love to its fullest extent.
Tricia Dycka: Tricia is an Entrepreneur, life enthusiast, author, intuitive, funny, very candid, great listener. Take the path less traveled. Living in the moment. Enjoys massive amounts of chocolate and coffee. Supportive friend who is there for you when everyone else has abandoned you and thinks you have lost your mind. Encourages entrepreneurs to embrace themselves so they can create an environment that supports their dreams. You can find me at www.triciadycka.com