It's All About Yes, March 2012 by Tricia Dycka

TABLE OF CONTENTS 3

From the Editor…

Get to Know Our Fans

Relationships Exhausting You? This may be why… Dr. Lara Fernandez

HEALTHY BOUNDARIES Anna Miranda

Running a Business & Being Disappointed by Others Liz Nonnemacher

Perseverance Sherrie Williams

All About YES Interview: All About Jill Stafford

Collaboration can be risky, but . . . Jill Stafford

Are You Left Holding the Bag? Tricia Dycka

Don’t take it personally, take it professionally Jennifer L Shelton

“C” is for Commitment Jihan Cover

Promises, Commitments and They Don’t Come to Fruition? Liz LaClair

In Response Jennifer Winzeler

Promises, Promises, Promises Mary Joyce

The Devil Really Is In The Details Lori Latimer

FROM THE EDITORâ&#x20AC;Ś Spring is right around the corner.What happened to winter? Here by all accounts we barely had much snow at all. A dusting here or a snow covering on the grassy areas in NY was pretty much it. My expectations of this winter season were very disappointing. For example there was no snowman or snowball fights. For those of you who are inundated with snow this year I hope you at least had some fun. This monthâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s ezine is about how we handle the ups and downs of business projects and personal commitments with others that go by the wayside at the last minute. I can tell you there were quite a few times that pulling out my hair was a viable option compared to telling people; oh I am sorry this planned event is not going forward as expected. How disappointing and frustrating. At the last second somehow and some way it always comes through. If you are currently in that situation please read our stories to get you back on track with some great insight and tips on how to deal with it today and in the future. Not to mention how to keep your head from exploding under pressure. As the saying goes the show must go on.

January 2012 Fan of the Week Contacts Get To Know Our Fans!! A Business Bonus Shout-Out For Our “Fan of the Week”Winners Get to know…

Jasmin Christensen of Healing Connections and Pathways @ www.facebook.com/Healingconncections

Sherrie Williams of Phoenix Photography Services @ www.facebook.com/riversoftime.

Relationships Exhausting You? This may be why… by Dr. Lara Fernandez

Have you ever dated a man that you really really liked, and could LOVE if he would just change a few things? A man who was not living up to his “potential”? I had a friend years ago who was on the constant hamster wheel of “almost-men”; men who were not her match, but whom she thought she had to change in order to make them fit. She was miserable and exhausted most of the time from all her change and control efforts. And she kept creating this same scenario over and over again with the men she dated.The men who had some self-respect left her pretty quickly, and the men who were as malleable as Jell-O stuck around for awhile, content to let her call all the shots in their lives.Then she would get frustrated and wiped out from trying to make them “fit” – which of course they never did. No matter what, she ended up the same way over and over again: ALONE. Here’s the deal, ladies: it’s NOT up to you to make your man live up to his “potential”.This is up to HIM. Love him for who is right now – or don’t, and then let him go, so you’re both free to find the right person for each of you. When you meet a man and start your “relationship exploration”, (my new term for dating), remember that he is showing you his best self in the beginning, just as you are showing up as your best self for him. Believe him and don’t try to make him into someone he’s not. It’s time to make better decisions for yourself in 2012. Start with knowing thyself and from there you will be able to recognize who your soulmate is… and who he clearly is not – and avoid any temptation to try to change him.

Dr. Lara B. Fernandez After a short but heartbreaking first marriage, and years of serial monogamy in relationships that always seemed to be exactly NOT what she was looking for Lara realized that by actively and properly preparing to realize her desires, she could change her life for the better. She soon saw the fruits of her time, energy, and money invested in her dreams – she actually magnetized her soulmate, Johnny, to her. With the power of these amazing magnetizing principles fresh in her mind and heart, Lara then applied the principles to her professional life. Together they created a successful chiropractic wellness center, then moved on to helping others create their own magic and miracles. Blending Lara’s warmth and magical manifesting mojo with Johnny’s 20 years of experience in education, course creation, and training their fun and effective LoveLaunch courses and programs now help others worldwide to create a life that they truly love with the love of their life by their side.

HEALTHY BOUNDARIES by: Anna Miranda

I started my own business, Creating Wellness four years ago. Since then there have been many times when a client would cancel on me last minute or call to tell me they are still coming but will be arriving 45 minutes late, as if this tardiness would have no effect on my personal time. Not to mention the lack of respect for my vocation. In the beginning years of my practice this sort of thing would take its toll on me emotionally. Sometimes I would allow it to dictate my state of being for the entire day. Although I still have days when itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s more difficult to not become frustrated by other peopleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s lack of consideration, I have learned that when a situation keeps reoccurring in your life, perhaps it is important to step back and contemplate on whether or not you are contributing to the manifestation of such behaviors in your life. If we refer to the law of attraction, which states that like thought patterns attract like thought patterns, it is valuable that we begin to observe our life patterns. For instance, are you allowing this behavior to continue? Have you set up healthy boundaries? When I asked myself these questions I realized that I was not necessarily being responsible for setting up proper boundaries. As soon as I recognized this pattern in myself I took action.The next time I encountered a client who was displaying inconsiderate behavior, I confronted the issue verbally in a professional manner. Once I began to shift my state of being toward this behavior, it began to occur less and less. Setting up healthy boundaries within your business and personal life is imperative in creating a healthy relationship, whether the relationship is personal or just business. We live in a world dominated by negative messages and unrealistic ideologies impressed upon us by the media. It seems difficult these days to surround ourselves with inspiring and motivated people and ideas. But we must be responsible for the type of behavior we portray to others and the type of behavior we allow into our personal space. Life presents us with the opportunity of choice. It is in our best interest to exercise this opportunity, when we do, we no longer are the victim, instead we become an opportunist among infinite possibilities.

Anna Miranda

www.creatingwellnessinfo.net creatingwellness31@yahoo.com Anna Miranda began her spiritual journey at the age of 16 after a profound spiritual awakening and near death experience. Since her experience she has dedicated her life to achieving spiritual knowledge and growth. She has been a medium, medical intuitive and spiritual counselor for the past 15 years and specializes in karmic assessment and healing therapy. She is trained in EFT (emotional freedom techniques), hypnosis, reiki , pranayama and meditation techniques.

Running a Business & Being Disappointed by Others by Liz Nonnemacher

It seems to me that the most important thing to remember is that we all disappoint ourselves and others at times. Often we have the best of intentions and then life gets in the way.This is very common especially for those of us that run a business from home and have a family life that can easily get entangled within the biz.We don’t mean for it to happen and we can carefully plan that the two will not become entangled but the truth is that life and business typically don’t run peacefully side by side.

So if someone makes a commitment to you and it seems like they will not follow through, the first thing to remember is that 99% of the time…it’s not about YOU. Most likely, it is about their own struggle for balance. Personally, my entire life is a struggle for balance and I spend way too much time feeling guilty about it. Between my husband and myself, we have four children in varying stages of needing care and attention, four parents in varying stages of needing care and attention, two dogs (also in varying stages of needing care and attention) and then there is US and then comes everything else. There are many business owners who have less of these “complications” so to speak and it always seems to me that they get WAY more done than I do. And I am sure that oftentimes it is me who makes others disappointed even though I can pound out an entire day’s worth of work in an hour if I have to. Yet there are times that I have the greatest of intentions, heart felt intentions…and then bam. A deadline is looming and I am off.Way off. continued on next page

We must assume that this happens to many other business owners and especially for women, when we fail to do something that we were supposed to, we typically feel bad enough so itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s best not to try and make someone who has disappointed you feel badly.Trust me, they probably already do. What I have found that has continuously worked for me is that if I am expecting someone to do something and they commit to it and then do not come through, I have a plan B already lined up. Actually I have the plan B lined up when they first commit.That way you always have a back up. I learned this the hard way during my first year of business and it seems like this strategy would benefit many other business owners. The most important things to keep in mind are that most people are doing the very best that they can, have a plan B in the back of your head at all times, feel free to move on to another person if one continues to disappoint you and donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t let the little things make you crazy. Keeping your eye on the big picture at all times will help keep your business running smoothly and you will avoid letting the little things get you down.

Liz Nonnembacher Liz is the Editor of Wickedly Chic,www.wickedlychic. com, the hottest destination for shoppers seeking advice and product recommendations from the world of independent businesses. Lizâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s experience as trend-spotter for her two daughters led her to Wickedly Chic in June of 2006. She is passionate about independent business and works hard to keep her readers both entertained and informed and to promote the businesses that are marketed within Wickedly Chic.

Perseverance by Sherrie Williams

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose, a state, etc., especially in spite of difficulties, obstacles or discouragement.â&#x20AC;? Such a simple word, or is it? How many out there do truly know perseverance in their lives and actually allow it to move their chosen steps? Every day, when I sign into facebook, there it is, all over my news feed, the complete lack of it. Post after post, a litany of whining, poor pity me, everyone come hither and feel sorry for me posts. Everything from something as petty as what they didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t receive that day and were expecting to get, to something not going their way at work, or with their boyfriend/girlfriend.Then I will see a post about someone suffering yet another day with a debilitating illness in a state of constant grace. Empathy is something all are entitled to. Pity is a useless enabling emotion encouraging more pity-seeking behavior.To all this relentless whining I have some cheese to go with the whine and would suggest a side of perseverance. If I sound like I am giving tough love, you bet I am. I have seen more than my fair share of hardship, heartaches and loss. Most of which were brought on by my choices and actions! Some beyond my foresight and prevention, and I have no doubt I have yet to see the depth of the pain and disappointments life has in store for me.Whatever is waiting for me down the road, no matter how difficult, insurmountable it may seem, or what it takes to transgress it, I will persevere through it! I will do so with grace, grateful all the while for having the life within me to even engage once again, another battle. A battle that will continue to forge, shape and hone my character, heart and spirit into something worthy of my humanity. My empathic gifts, my unending love and my strength are yours for the taking when you need to call upon them. But, if that call is coming from a place of defeat and worthlessness, that call will go unheeded and unanswered. It serves no any one person, group or entity to receive pity in the place of perseverance. Compassion and the karma of good things are reserved for those who, despite their own pain and struggles, always have a spirit of grace and acceptance.We are the quiet warriors of our race and species, fighting the elements of existence and weathering the storms of our lives with the heart of a gladiator. Not always seen, often unheard, but never without reward. So, the next time you walk down the street, head hung low, eyes cast down, shuffling your feet in self-pity; try tuning your brain off for a moment.Tune into your spirit, lift your head and take a look around you. People persevering much worse than you are within your sight, walking past you and living and dying everyday horrors and anguish you could never imagine.Tune into them, away form yourself, and seek guidance and strength through giving it to others who need it more than you, continued on next page

and donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t even ask! I have a note I will share with you through this article called The Path. I wrote it many years ago, my hand and heart guided by a force beyond my understanding or grasp. Please read it. If anything in this article escapes you, nothing in The Path will! Blessings and chin up!

Sherrie Williams Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m Sherrie, a.k.a. wildfire :) by those who really know me. I was born in Albemarle, NC and raised on a farm in Davidson, NC tending chickens, horses and a crop. Father was a carpenter, blacksmith, photography bug and engineer. Mom is a career Real Estate Professional/Broker/Consultant and Motivational Speaker. I have 4 children ages 16 to 20, two are my fraternal twin girls. I have done many things. The best of them is being the mother of these 4 unique spirits I have been blessed with. I am an independent location/traveling photographer and have also over the past 20 years been an avid lover of the spoken and written word in all forms. I was a fitness trainer and gym manager at one point. I prefer to nourish now where the true reservoir of strength and wellness comes from and starts, our spirits! You can find me at: www.facebook.com/riversoftime

The Path Pursue a path of kindness, even in the presence of cruelty. Persevere, even in the face of hopelessness. Be constant in your pursuit of knowledge, despite the benefit of intelligence. Be assured of oneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s intelligence, even through the absence of knowledge. Be gracious, even through a life lacking in compassion. Be unselfish, especially when faced with selfishness. Live a life in the presence of love, even when it abandons you. Be always full of joy, even in a world full of misery. Be always a giver of strength, especially in times of great weakness. Do not fear, even in the presence of constant danger. Have faith, especially in those who have none. Be a guiding light to others, even when you lost yourself. {Sherrie Williams 8/11/03}

ALL ABOUT YES INTERVIEW: Our next interviewee in the new series is Jill Stafford. We asked Jill questions about her business, lessons learned, etc. We felt that since Jill is also one of our contributing writers, you would want to know more about her – what makes her and Meet Your Goals tick. YES: Before we get in to the whys and wherefores, explain to us – just what is Meet Your Goals? JS: The work I do with Meet Your Goals (MYG) is both Academic Tutoring and Life Coaching. I work with clients to help them achieve Personal Success as they define it. Part of our work together may be identifying a new idea of success as life and core values are explored.Then we create action plans and partner to take action toward meeting the client’s goals. Asperger’s Academic Success is both for setting and meeting goals for grades and for partnering to build self-esteem, selfawareness and social interaction skills and opportunities. Because I have taught writing for so many years and enjoy writing myself, I really enjoy facilitating the writing process from beginning writers to graduate students and professionals. In this way I work either one-on-one or in workshop settings, both in person and on-line, to Build Strong Writers. An integral aspect of each of these areas of connecting and facilitating client success is that accomplishing these specific goals helps the client move toward the most rewarding spiritual, soulful, concrete and creative goal of all – Creating the Life You Want.

YES: What possessed you to start your business? Why did you become an entrepreneur? JS: After many years of teaching in public and private schools as well as church programs and community programs, I began MYG in 2010 as a part-time tutoring business for college/university students with Asperger’s Syndrome.The work was so engaging and rewarding and I always looked forward to sessions. At a point I realized there was much more than academic support going on…and this led me to pursue my coaching training with iPEC and ICF certification.The iPEC training was an outstanding process and created so many opportunities to meet talented and diverse people! I really am still learning to embrace my work as “a business.” I have so much to learn as a business person. I am more naturally creative…an idea person. But, being an

ALL ABOUT JILL STAFFORD entrepreneur is an opportunity for me to chart my own course – for instructional practices, content development, areas of research and new skills, too.

YES: What’s your favorite thing about being an entrepreneur? JS: Perhaps my favorite thing about being an entrepreneur is the variety of people I have been meeting through my work. It is truly AWESOME!! Also, as a teacher I am student-centered and coaching fits so well with that because it is client-centered. And I develop a genuine caring for my clients. I do it because I love it. It is an expression of my gifts and values – an expression of who I am. Good stuff!

YES: What types of services/products do you offer? JS: Meet Your Goals is all about making connections and creating powerful alliances with clients.This makes it possible to remove energy blocks so that they can discover their true goals. Once blocks are removed or, if there are no significant blocks hindering the client’s progress, then we work together and create action plans to start making things happen – things the client wants to happen. I am very flexible at this time in how I deliver my coaching services. Some methods of delivery are: face-to-face sessions from 1 to 4 hours long, telephone and Skype sessions, IM sessions (really, these can be so productive and authentic!!), and workshop or group sessions.There are times I go to the group and there are times the group comes to me. I will be offering some important assessments starting in June 2012 and I am looking forward to being able to offer those to my clients.

YES: What was the one thing that really got you excited – made you glad you started your business? JS: Well, I wouldn’t say there was “the” one thing, but one thing that has been unexpected is that the opportunities I have opened myself up to – like collaborating with seriously kick-a** women all over the world and producing and hosting a radio show on blogtalkradio.com supporting women who are listening for their own true voice – these are really exciting opportunities. And that’s just for starters!!! continued on next page

YES: What challenges do/did you face? JS: Challenges are really opportunities!! Becoming a “business woman” is an opportunity for me to see myself from a new perspective. But I have much to learn. I think I face many of the same challenging opportunities  as so many other women pursuing the entrepreneurial life – managing time, balancing family, work and other obligations, and remembering I don’t have to do everything myself! For example, there are talented women out there ready to work with me on a new and improved website or creating a new logo for branding MYG!! Yes?? Yes!!!!

YES: What recommendations do you give other women who are thinking about starting a business? (or business similar to yours/in your field) JS: Hmmmmm. Starting a business can be done in many different ways.There are some good things to do when getting started. Do some research. Connect with other women who are doing something similar to what you want to do. Identify who will be part of your support network. Listen to your heart and your intuition. Be open to learning new skills and meeting new people. Ultimately, trust yourself and follow your heart. If you are feeling blocked or stuck, get yourself a coach to help you get clear! Seriously…I’m not just plugging!

YES: What’s your biggest lesson? JS: Just one?? Enjoy the process.

YES: Best question for last – What does success mean to you? JS: Enjoying the process!! LOL Clearly, a business must be financially successful in order to sustain the work. But other accomplishments speak to me as measures of success, such as being present and living each day authentically, loving deeply and contributing in a meaningful way. Being a part of other people’s success is very rewarding. It’s a winwin situation and that is success.

Collaboration can be risky, but . . . by Jill Stafford

I love collaborating!! Love it!!! The positive energy created when like minds come together with enthusiasm, humor, intention and individual perspectives is powerful. When the chemistry is right, collaboration is creative, fun and rewarding, but when the chemistry is wrong, collaboration is laborious, difficult and disappointing. Throughout my professional career I have had many opportunities for collaboration. Over the years there have been many successes, but there have also been some powerful learning opportunities – which is code for miserable failures!! Sometimes disappointing, sometimes maddening and sometimes leaving me scrambling to deliver professionally and to maintain my reputation, collaboration can be risky.The worst situation I have had to deal with was the heartbreak of collaborating with a colleague who backed out at the last minute – fortunately there has been only one time where I was actually left hanging with an audience waiting. I was devastated, horrified, embarrassed and angry.The relationship was irreparably damaged. But…I learned not to jump in with both feet with just anybody and I learned to pay attention to red flags. Are we cruising together? Or am I pulling? Pushing? Always waiting? Like most of us, I have worked in settings where I have been “forced” to work with individuals who were difficult. I found myself wishing that someone would bail out because they were so…so something! Negative. Arrogant. Stingy. Close-minded.Wasted time with unpleasant people was time that I dreaded. So perhaps part of the draw of working for myself was the belief that I would not have to work with unpleasant people. And in many ways this is true. But, even as an entrepreneur, I do have other people I interact with. In fact, building relationships and connecting with people is key to the success of my business. Plus, as I said at the start, I love collaborating!! I love the process and the positive energy created when like minds come together. Enthusiasm, humor, intention and individual perspectives culled together create something that is larger than the sum of its parts.

continued on next page

Over the years I have seen red flags and learned a few lessons to better facilitate collaborative projects.While the specifics may be different, the core conflicts will likely resonate with one of the following Bewares: 1. Beware of people who are overly ego motivated. If someone is a perfectionist, then nothing will ever be good enough to “go live.” If someone thinks their ideas are the only good ideas, then they are not likely to be open to the ideas of others. (If you always have trouble working with others, give this some thought.You might be the person who is overly motivated by your ego.) 2. Beware of people who are overly motivated by fear. Fear is crippling and often leads to self-sabotage.When working as part of a team, the “self” sabotage affects the whole. When involved in collaborative efforts, I have found a couple of Be Sure To’s that help the process along and promote the positive aspects of collaboration. 1. Be sure to touch base often. In between scheduled meetings make the effort to connect in a less formal way. Use this time to foster enthusiasm for the project. Scheduled meetings will be more productive and more fun by this kind of informal checking in with others. 2. Be sure to give and receive generously. Ideas, information and time must be shared with a willing spirit in a collaborative environment. Stingy-ness is inappropriate. Being closed to others is inappropriate. So here’s to my team and yours!! May we build them wisely. May we honor others and ourselves. May we lead and follow gracefully. May we make strong connections and give and receive generously. Be confident, yet humble. Be fearless…but be smart about it!!!

Jill Stafford Jill Stafford combines her expertise in Holistic Teaching & Learning with her Professional Coaching practice, Meet Your Goals. Currently residing in Fredericksburg, VA, she enjoys working with adult college students with special needs, health and weight loss clients, as well as small business owners. Jill is highly creative and intuitive and is a radio host, song writer and author. You can find out more by checking out her website: http://vibrantyou.bodybyvi.com

Are You Left Holding the Bag? by Tricia Dycka

How many times are you left holding the bag, waiting patiently for somebody else to do their part in a function, project or just meeting you some place? You realize as you are holding that bag that they have flaked on you. In your personal life it is annoying and you deal with that person when they finally contact you saying oooppps I forgot or something came up. Sometimes, it is a legitimate excuse other times it becomes redundant and tiresome. Time for you to make up your mind, and decide, if you want to continue making plans with that person because being left at a restaurant or maybe the movies forever waiting by yourself is NOT the thing you want to do. Now letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s bring it to a new level. In your business you will make decisions based on other people participating in a project that you see happening down the road. It might be a tele summit, webinar, joint venture or some kind of new program.You put your feelers out to several people you think might be a good fit.They respond positively at first. They would love to be involved. You get the ball rolling with all the pieces in place and the next thing you know you come to a screeching halt. WHY? It could be for several reasons, reasons you may not have an inkling about what is going on. It could be issues in their personal life or maybe they said yes and then realized what a huge undertaking it was. Has this ever happened to me? Absolutely!!! What did I do? What I experienced was the emotional response first.The anger, the frustration, how could I have possibly missed the signs, then the scrambling to get the project back on track. In the beginning I was so thrilled people were saying yes to get involved in projects, just as thrilled as I was to say yes without actually thinking it all the way through. Even if people disappear on you at the last minute, the old adage the show must go on. Make sure you have an alternative in your mind of how can you proceed if this person doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t show up. continued on next page

The other thing I find myself doing is writing down my thoughts about the project.What kind of people and participation levels do I want? Some projects are more involved than others. As I put my feelers out I listen to my intuition about whether or not the other person will be a good fit. I have come to understand when I ignore that little voice it can prove quite frustrating and leaving me feeling like I am battling uphill to get things accomplished.The group “It’s All About Yes” originally started out as a tele summit then progressed to a monthly ezine. So the thoughts about the group and participation levels have grown tremendously. I have also said YES without thinking it through. It happened to me a year ago. I got a phone call with a great proposition, a speaking engagement in NYC. I immediately said yes even after hearing what was involved and what kind of participation level would be expected of me.The man who asked me to be involved said think about it and get back to me within two days. I hung up saying I don’t need to think about it.Well as the two days came I realized what other commitments were in the pipeline and I had clarity enough to be honest and say NO. I would not be able to give the project the attention it needed and absolutely deserved. Lesson learned so now whenever I ask people to become part of my project, I ask them to think it through. Are you truly willing and ready to participate making a commitment to join ventures I am offering? If it is a project someone really believes in they will find the time. Do not jump on the band wagon without thinking and feeling (yes feeling) if this is truly something you want to be involved in. Ask yourself why do I want to become involved? What will I discover? Do I want to commit and do I have the time?

Tricia Dycka Tricia is an Entrepreneur, life enthusiast, author, intuitive, funny, very candid, great listener. Take the path less traveled. Living in the moment. Enjoys massive amounts of chocolate and coffee. Supportive friend who is there for you when everyone else has abandoned you and thinks you have lost your mind. Encourages entrepreneurs to embrace themselves so they can create an environment that supports their dreams. You can find me at www.triciadycka.com

Don’t take it personally, take it professionally by Jennifer L Shelton

I started FemCentral – an online institute for women – 25 months ago. FemCentral explores a variety of topics of interest to women, on a very deep level. I spend an entire week on one theme and cover everything from finances, health, history, politics, relationships, and spirituality. And, while I am a well-read person, I am not an expert on ALL of these topics. I never intended for all the content to come from me, anyway. Like a continuing education program, I wanted a variety of writers and instructors. Starting out, I relied on friends and online acquaintances for content that I was not qualified to discuss. Most of these people were excited to increase their web visibility by writing an article for my website. So, it seemed win-win. For some reason, because these were people that I knew, I had an underlying assumption that I would not experience the same issue with quality and deadlines that I’d dealt with in my 15 years working for established institutions. I didn’t even realize that I had this assumption until I was shocked by a friend completely missing a deadline, leaving me to scramble for content at a moment’s notice. A person’s work style trumps a friendship. If they habitually miss deadlines, they likely are not going to meet yours, just because you are friends. It’s not something to take continued on next page Written by Women, for Women IT’S ALL ABOUT

Break Out of The Box & Learn to Build the Life You Want!

Does every day seem like a struggle as you battle the negatives thrown your way by friends and family? Does it seem like you will never achieve your dream? Well, there is some great news! You CAN build the life you want and balance a successful business with a successful personal life. The Women of It’s All About YES! are not only committed to their own businesses and their own life’s plan, they are committed to sharing what they have learned along the way. Join them on Facebook. Get encouragement, ask questions, or just come to rant a bit. It’s all about Women Helping Other Women to Succeed!

personally.The person is not doing this because they are a bad friend, or want you to fail. The vast majority of the time, it’s all about them, not about you. How did I handle these kinds of situations? At first, because the people were my friends, I’d give them another chance and extend their deadlines.That has never once worked out to my benefit.The people who were turning in work late – or not at all – did not improve because I extended them this courtesy. In many cases, they got worse. But, I did not react out of personal frustration. Instead, I explained that since I work alone, I only have so much time for each of my tasks. I need content well ahead of time for scheduling purposes. I thanked them for the work they had already provided, and wished them well with their future endeavors. I handled the situation as professionally as I could, and up to this point, it’s kept the interactions from getting personal in any way. Now, when I work with a new content expert, I know to request the material at least 4 weeks in advance. Some get it to me 6 weeks in advance. Some miss the deadline altogether and avoid me for a little while. So, I narrow down who I can work with and who I can’t. Also, I always have a back-up plan. I’ll schedule a week of new posts on “eating green” but be prepared to pull out some archived material,“just in case.” We are the ones responsible for making our businesses run smoothly. Blaming others or playing the victim to their incompetence will not serve us in the long run. Act professionally, and you, and your business, will be respected.

Jennifer L Shelton Jennifer is the founder and administrator of FemCentral, the Virtual Institute for Women, where she also works as an astrologer, intuitive coach and instructor. She teaches undergraduate, online classes in global cultures for Franklin University and works as an education, outreach and training consultant. She’s a writer. She’s a mom. She’s gloriously busy doing the things she loves. You can find Jennifer at www. jenniferlshelton.com

“C” is for Commitment by Jihan Cover

“The people who are the hardest to love are the ones who need it the most.” ~ Peaceful Warrior Have you ever dealt with broken promises before? If you have, you will know that the experience can be quite a downer. It can leave you feeling frustrated, alone, and even sometimes abandoned. If there’s someone in your life right now breaking promises and commitments left and right, I want you to know you’re not alone in your problem – I face negative people as well and dealing with them is always a learning experience.While people can try to get you down, you’ve a choice in how you react to them. Listen, the only person we have total control over at all times is ourselves, so we may as well focus on what we CAN change instead of what we can’t (others actions). While we can’t control people breaking promises to US, we CAN learn to take these occasions in stride and promise to be the best US we can be. Conflicts with commitment can arise with our spouse, parents, children, friends, coworkers, employees, bosses, or even with total strangers. Commitment.That dreaded “C” word. For many people, commitment means loss of freedom, obligatory suffering, fear of making the wrong decision, fear of financial ruin, and many other negative outcomes.While most people make (and break) commitments all the time, few of us know what it means to live committedly. True commitment is a context we create to keep our promises REGARDLESS OF OUR CIRCUMSTANCES. It is an unconditional pledge to ourselves and to others to live our lives consistent with our word. It is a decision – in advance – to always rise above our thoughts, feelings, moods, and situations and to deal with any problem or conflict in a way that enhances, rather than diminishes, the quality of our relationships. When problems occur during the course of our relationships, when commitments and promises are broken, each of us is triggered to respond in automatic ways.The question is, are we going to act on the basis of our triggered thoughts, feelings, moods, or beliefs, or are we going to act in a manner that is consistent with our OWN word? Unfortunately, when most people commit themselves to other people, they do so conditionally.What they really mean is:“I’ll remain true to my commitment as long as you remain true to yours, or as long as I feel good about my promises, or as long as nothing better comes along, or as long as we don’t have any major conflicts or difficulties.” Do we want to be that type of person? OR do we want to hold true to our own words, regardless of whether others do the same. continued on next page

Commitment is so important for human beings because that’s all there is, in essence, to our relationships. A relationship is a process that flows from the promises – and only the promises – of each individual. As long as we make intelligent, sincere promises to other people, and as long as we endeavor to honor these promises – NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS – our relationships flourish.When we make foolish, naive, or insincere promises, or when we violate either the letter or the spirit of our commitments, our relationships tend to die because we destroy the very ground that gives them life. Thus, to have happy, successful, long-term relationships, you must conduct yourself in a manner that supports both you and other people. Keep your word, regardless of what others choose to do. Remain committed to yourself, your word, and your own personal growth and you will notice “disappointments” of others are much less noticeable.

Jihan Cover Jihan is an Energy Leadership and Life Mastery Professional Certified Life Coach. She works with women (and men!) looking to discover their true “who” and start living the lives of their dreams. Jihan is also a wellness coach and passionate about helping people achieve health and wellness in all areas of their lives. She’s a mommy and a wife, a writer, radio show host, and lover of life! She loves living a life where she can truly help people. You can find Jihan at www.liveaFABlife.com and www.jihancover.com

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Promises, Commitments and They Don’t Come to Fruition? by Liz LaClair

We’re all big girls now, and we know that occasionally we will come across a promise or commitment that falls through. Hopefully, in many cases it’s not a life-altering problem. However, we are now also entrepreneurs and when a business promise, commitment, strong lead falls through it can be a business life-altering problem. OK, a for instance a commitment that didn’t come to fruition. A while back I spent a lot of time developing an agreement. I will not go in to details. Basically the client I’d be working with was working with a client and I’d be a sub-contractor.The work to be done would require another person to do the job, so I found someone I know I can trust and we set up the contract/agreement based on what we were told would be needed for the final outcome. The agreement was submitted to the contractor, who sent it back with many questions saying we weren’t structuring the agreement in a way that suited the contractor.We explained that (based on the info the contractor gave us) what we submitted was the optimum process.Well, after a couple of weeks with the contractor (who was afraid to push with her client) it was finally submitted to the client.The client (we were told) was in a BIG hurry to get this project off the ground and wanted to get started right away.Then after weeks of the client giving the contractor the run-around, and the contractor giving me the run-around I felt it was time to pull the plug – and so did my co-subcontractor. Let me tell you, this was a difficult decision – for all of about 30 minutes.This had the potential for a good income for both of us. But you have to weigh all the pluses as well as the minuses in business dealings. In this case the perceived pluses were quickly becoming minuses. What are some of the things to consider? Well, for me anyway: • Will I enjoy the work? • Will I enjoy working with the client? (are we a good match) • Will I still have the ability/option to work with my other clients? • Will this have the potential to be soul-sucking?

• Will I (potentially) loose my other clients because of spending all my time on just this one? • Will I be willing to become an employee and not a sub-contractor? • Will I, after this job is done, have to work even harder to re-build my client base?

Now, you’ll notice that all of these questions have the potential for YES answers. But are they the right ones? We as entrepreneurs have to remember, this is our business and we can pick and choose what works best for us/our needs. Remember, we started our businesses to get away from the soul-sucking jobs, so why in the world would you want to go in to a potential job knowing right off the bat this will happen? Let’s all keep the important thing in mind,YES there will be times when a business lead, promise, commitment will not come to fruition – life happens. But do not take something on because you think you have to – because you’re afraid that if you don’t the next thing won’t come along.That’s the rub. If you take the rotten thing, you’ll be too mentally tired to notice the great thing and it may pass you by – and who wants that? As my business coach has told me, visualize your perfect client.When you have that person/group in mind you know you won’t have to worry about things not working out – because YOU pictured them as the perfect client to work with. So, good luck to all of us, and may we all gather LOTS of fruit!

Liz LaClair I have TWO best parts of my life. I’m thrilled to have found my business calling! I truly enjoy working with my clients – the work I do is fun! Check out how I got past my challenges – learn how I’m taking what was a not so good and making it great. I’m a small business entrepreneur who likes working/supporting other small businesses. The other best part of my life? I’m married to the love of my life. He’s very supportive of what I’m doing. Who could ask for more? You can find me at http://www.virtuallyhelps.com/

In Response by Jennifer Winzeler

We have all been “scorned” at some time or another. Let down, disappointed, hurt by something another person has said, done, or even not done. If we choose to be in relationship with one another, this is bound to happen.We come to have certain expectations of people, often inadvertently, without giving it a conscious thought.We spend time with someone and presume we know them by way of observing his /her repeated actions, engaging in conversations, and even just sensing his/ her feelings and or responses to certain situations. As a result we formulate ideas of how he/she is supposed to behave and when things aren’t how they are “supposed” to be according to our ideals, there exists strife. So, we hurt.The big question is; then what? Here is the upside.Though being hurt (sometimes deeply) is a part of living a conscious life, we have choices for what we do with the feeling. All feelings, really. Often times, for those of us who tend to fall on the impulsive side, it seems there is not even a moment between the feeling and the reaction to it.This is especially true when it comes to specific feelings we have responded to in the same way over and over again.Those patterns form certain connections between the neurotransmitters in the brain that act like tracks in the snow made when cross country skiing. If you are not exerting effort toward not skiing in those same grooves, this is exactly where your skis travel without a thought.The same is true with behavioral patterning.The first step in shifting it is being aware of the methods and then acknowledging you have a choice about what you want to do with them. In that space, however small it may seem, between the feeling and the action lies your choice. And you always have a choice. Like anything, when you focus on that space, it will grow, creating more breadth to explore options.While we have very little direct control over others’ choices, we can do whatever we decide when it comes to our own behavior. It comes down to who you want to be in each and every situation, regardless of the circumstances presenting themselves. The more we focus on the external situation, or someone else’s behavior, the less energy and enthusiasm we have to celebrate our own existence, to examine our own choices and determine whether or not they are in line with our core values. Don’t be distracted by someone else’s behavior. Find the lesson for you in it. Allow for the pain, if it comes and take comfort in the fact that you need not DO anything but feel it.

Then move on to discover the gift in what has transpired, the lesson for you that supports your own evolution. In each and every happenstance there is a gift. Any time you feel hurt by someone elseâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s behavior you can counter by choosing to become bitter or better For additional support in your own evolution connect with me at carnavitality@gmail.com, or visit my website at www.carna-vitality.com

Jennifer Winzeler Jennifer is dedicated to supporting women as they journey toward discovering their own unique purpose. Devoted to guiding people through physical movement, and mind/body connection, as a Stott Pilates instructor, she is fueled by witnessing growth and lasting change. Seeing women evolving into a fuller expression of their true essence is her calling. Moved by her own transformation and growth during particularly trying times, she founded and is owner of CARNA, LLC. A company whose mission, in part, is to connect women with their own inner strength and vitality in a way that inspires and empowers them to fully embody their truth. Connect with Jennifer for group wellness programming or one on one personalized coaching. Follow Jenniferâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s blog: www.carnatuttoepossibile.wordpress.com or go to her site: www.carna-vitality.com

Promises, Promises, Promises by Mary Joyce

This is a toughie as obviously there are one hundred and one reasons or excuses why someone doesn’t follow through on their promises. It tends to leave an impression of not been able to rely on that person again and lowers my expectations of them. It also greatly reduces the chances of ever working with them again. Living your life without following through on your promises creates an uneasy feeling towards you from others. Been seen as unreliable, inconsistent is commonly thought to be an undesirable personality trait. A person whose beliefs, words and actions don’t match may be seen as indecisive, confused and even two faced. We are trained from a very young age to keep our promises, are we not? So it’s natural, that when we don’t we feel uneasy and mistrust those who don’t keep theirs to us. I know we all get very busy and sometimes take on more than we can handle.There are plenty of ways to avoid this situation to save yourself a lot of unwanted stress and frustration.

The best way to avoid conflict when entering into any project/work arrangement with another person: • To be clear from the offset about your expectations • To be honest about what you can realistically manage • To communicate effectively once you come across a potential problem • Have a plan B in place in case it all goes tits up, some form of damage limitation If you’ve been asked to do something that you know in your heart, you won’t be able to fulfill, just be honest and say,“That won’t work for me,” no more said.

“

Not the maker of plans and promises, but rather the one who offers faithful service in small matters. This is the person who is most likely to achieve what is good and lasting.

~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

There’s a certain level of responsibility on our part when entering into any partnership or mutual exchange, sometimes we create scenarios/obstacles that make it impossible for someone to complete. It could be we’re not clear about what it is exactly we require, don’t state a timeframe or hold it up by not delivering our side of the arrangement on time. We can sometimes be held ransom to our promises especially if you have children, nieces, or nephews, how many times have you, while not fully paying attention promised a child something only to totally forget about it? Only the whining of “You promised” brings it all back, this usually occurs just before Christmas or a birthday and often you feel guilty and comply. Not keeping promises brings up some awkward feelings, none of them too pleasant.

Mary Joyce Mary Joyce is a life and relationship coach, naturally gifted intuitive, works with the angelic Realm, and Mum to two beautiful young children. She runs a couple of weekly life coaching workshops for women, works with local government agencies in the UK providing trainings in both life and career coaching. She works with women from every background from Entrepreneurs, small business owners to single mothers to help them live a life of Purpose and prosperity. You can find Mary at www.response-abilitycoaching.com. While you’re there, check out her free ebook: 7 Keys to Respond to Your Life With Purpose to Let Your Abilities Shine.

The Devil Really Is In The Details by Lori Latimer

You sign up with a coach expecting her/him to deliver the things promised on the sales page.You discuss changes you want to make to your website with your webmaster.Your VA is supposed to send the audio link to your teleclass to the participants within 24 hours of the class. And none of it goes according to plan. Hasn’t this happened to all of us at one time or another? What can we do to ensure it doesn’t happen again? The key to resolving the issue in a way that’s a win-win for both of you, as well as ensuring it doesn’t happen again, is simply communication. The first thing you need to do is make sure there wasn’t a misunderstanding in the expectations of everyone involved. We’re all human and we all make mistakes – I’m the first one to raise my hand on that one! And of course, emergencies do happen, and things do come up unexpectedly. If there’s been a problem where someone that works for you didn’t deliver as expected, you’re naturally going to feel frustrated and disappointed. But don’t jump to conclusions and think the other person just blew you off or didn’t feel like doing what they were supposed to do. Instead, as soon as you learn of the problem, contact the person and approach it as the professional you are – head on and direct, but with compassion and sensitivity. Don’t immediately launch into a tirade because the other person will just shut down and you may lose a valuable resource in that person.They may have a very legitimate reason for not doing what you expected them to do, but if you start out with the wrong attitude or tone, you may never find out what happened. You’re trying to resolve the problem, not go on an all-out offensive attack. This may seem very obvious to you, but I’m amazed at how many so-called professionals out there don’t seem to grasp the obvious! Of course, if the other person simply didn’t fulfill their part of the deal, then you need to rethink any ongoing relationship with them.Very simply, you may need to terminate their services.While this isn’t easy for most of us to do, you’re running a business, not a charity. Do what you have to do in a professional way and move on.

If you’ve hired a coach to help you either grow your business or for a personal growth reason, many of the same ideas apply. I signed up for a particular group business coaching program a couple of years ago. I’d been in a previous group with this coach and had been very pleased with it, so I enrolled in the higher level, year long program. I gave it about two months, and was so disappointed that I sent her an email asking to get out of the program and receive a pro rated refund, even though the time to get out of the group had passed. Ultimately I did discontinue in the group, and I did receive a pro rated refund. How did I do it? In the email I sent her sent her, I gave very specific examples of promises that had been made about the program and ways those promises were not being fulfilled. I did not attack her or her work. This allowed us to part ways amicably and with respect and integrity on both sides. How do you minimize the chances of these things happening in the future? Be proactive! All of my years in the legal field taught me to put things in writing.That way there’s none of the “he said-she said” or “but I thought” that people get caught up in. Once you’ve discussed the project or task to be done, follow up with an email that details the who-what-when-where-how. Some or all of those may apply. But be specific – remember: the devil really is in the details!

Lori Latimer Lori helps women work through the issues they face as newly-single women. After working as a paralegal in family law for over 20 years and going through her own divorce, she discovered a way to heal the pain of past relationships and build a new life full of joy and passion. She now helps newly-single women and those going through divorce fall in love with themselves and their lives. You can find me at http://lorilatimer.com/