It's All About YES! by Tricia Dycka

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It’s All About 4YES VOLUME 2; ISSUE

APRIL 6, 2012 APRIL 6, 2012 ISSN 2162-4283

YES

IT’S ALL ABOUT

Written by Women, for Women

Our guest writers: Sherrie Williams Mary Joyce Liz Nonnemacher Lori Latimer

When you not getting the results...

Jennifer Shelton Jill Stafford Jennifer Winzeler Daye Salander

And Not Sure Which Way To Turn...

Dr Lara Fernandez Liz LaClair Tricia Dycka Minchele Brant Jihan Cover

But You KNOW You Cannot Give Up...

never never What Do You Do never When YOU Hit give up The Wall? ~Winston Churchill

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TABLE OF CONTENTS Letter From The Publisher Pg. 3 Keeper of the Flame Pg. 4 Sherrie Williams

Only Fools Rush In! Pg. 6 Mary Joyce

SHIFTING -- It is Good For Business Pg. 8 Liz Nonnemacher

Meet Liz LaClair Pg. 10 Who Are You Today? Pg. 12 Lori Latimer

Fan of the Week! Pg. 14 What I Learned By Getting Lost Pg. 15 Jennifer Shelton

Live Your Passion: But How? Pg. 17 Jill Stafford

Change The Win. It Is As Simple As That Pg. 18 Jennifer Winzeler

Brick Wall? I Have a Headache Pg. 20 Daye Salander

Don’t Give Up Pg. 22

Dr Lara Fernandez

Finding The Right Thing For You Pg. 24 Liz LaClair

Changing Lanes Pg. 26 Tricia Dycka

So What’s Your Plan B? C? D? Pg. 27 Michelle Brant

I Will Persist Until I Succeed Pg. 29 Jihan Cover

Publisher: Tricia Dycka Editor-In-Chief: Daye Salander Editor: Liz LaClair

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Letter From The Publisher

Switching Directions From all the authors at it’s All About Yes We hope you have a wonderful Easter. I cannot believe that Easter is around the corner – literally. April is here. The days are longer, the sun is shining and everything is in bloom. This is the time of year that I love to be outdoors, reconnecting with Mother Earth. Enjoying the sun on my skin. As with the seasons changing so must we. Have you ever encountered dead ends? Nothing is falling into place right? You feel like the world is against you. It is at this point that you must decide to reassess. Take stock in what is working, what is not and take time to consider a new direction. Please believe me when I say it is not the end of the world. Sometimes we just need an alignment, a new course direction to move forward. This month’s ezine is all about sharing our stories when we have zero results after months and months of trying. How we found the strength not to quit when we kept hitting brick walls and felt like we could not take one more step forward. Please grab a cup of coffee and enjoy reading this month’s ezine, may you gleam nuggets of wisdom.

Are you looking to connect with other women entrepreneurs? Do you need encouragement or advice from others that have traveled this same road? Have you been seeking a group of women that work together to help each other; that support and encourage each other? Well, if so, you found us! Join the conversation on Facebook Today!

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Keeper of the Flame by Sherrie Williams

over the past 6 to 7 years found myself so often bouncing back and forth and hopping from foot to the other like a cat on a hot tin roof, trying to find my footing and place in an era, and at an age of great strength and honest human frailty and innocence. My spirit has soared and grown and spread her wings as never before. I am at a place in my life and within myself where I know I don’t need a man to be happy, but acknowledge that being with the right man would bring even more happiness and fulfillment. Often at night, alone in my bed with cats whom are my other children, I find myself honestly aching for that deep fulfillment and sense of completeness that can only come from the woman’s heart drowned in that soulful love. When I was younger, I would compromise myself and make concessions to allow whatever man I was dating to be a fit, to become that man. But this is only an illusion, created by the giving and loving nature that desires the same. Now I find myself in another place within myself, a woman of fierceness and yet incredible passion and longing, a duality that causes imbalance in my spirit. I have grown into my tiger’s skin, but am ever reminded that though a tigress I have become, I am also woman! I am a spirit that seeks its soul mate and companion for life: a creature of inexhaustible passion and devotion. I have no shame in that I seek my mate and companion for life. If the wolf and dolphin can solely devote their every movement as a shared journey on a shared path for life, then why should any human want for any less? Yet, in the same turn, I must be the keeper of my own flame. I must honor and nurture that which she draws her oxygen from. For if I stray too far from the source of what keeps me bonded to my spirit, how will I be able to love another honestly from that place? So in all things I do, in how I love and with whom, I must love as the infinite and unique woman I am, true to self. All the while making unselfish compromises and caring unconditionally for another. Yes, it is a

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hard fence to straddle, because you don’t want to wind up on either side. One is a place of stubborn independence, a lonely path it will become. One is a place of complete surrender of your created purpose to another. A lost trail it will become. I have decided that only way to love another, is to love them as you would want them to be loved. Give them the love and devotion you know they deserve. Stay your course, but merge it with theirs. To thyself be true, and to them as well. There can only be two outcomes to such honest, unselfish and fierce loving of another. Either they will present themselves to you as your true companion in due time, or you will have loved unselfishly another to let them go to theirs. Either outcome is one of grace, dignity and pure love. So love ladies, live, breathe and keep to your fire.

Sherrie Williams I’m Sherrie, a.k.a. wildfire :) by those who really know me. I was born in Albemarle, NC and raised on a farm in Davidson, NC tending chickens, horses and a crop. Father was a carpenter, blacksmith, photography bug and engineer. Mom is a career Real Estate Professional/Broker/Consultant and Motivational Speaker. I have 4 children ages 16 to 20, two are my fraternal twin girls. I have done many things. The best of them is being the mother of these 4 unique spirits I have been blessed with. I am an independent location/traveling photographer and have also over the past 20 years been an avid lover of the spoken and written word in all forms. I was a fitness trainer and gym manager at one point. I prefer to nourish now where the true reservoir of strength and wellness comes from and starts, our spirits! You can find me at: www.facebook.com/riversoftime

Wisdom Found In the Words of History “Let me tell you the secret that has led me to my goal. My strength lies solely in my tenacity.” ~Louis Pasteur “If you are going through hell, keep going.” ~Winston Churchill “Success seems to be largely a matter of hanging on after others have let go.” ~William Feather “Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.” Dale Carnegie “When there is no wind … ROW!” Latin Proverb “Fall down seven times, get up eight.” Japanese Proverb

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Only Fools Rush In! by Mary Joyce

In life and in our business, we sometimes hold almost romantic notions of how things will work out, well I do anyway. In the distance of out there in the future, it can almost appear almost easy and many times, it is. But, and it’s a little but, sometimes we get ourselves involved in or taking part in events that are way beyond what we first thought. It could be we didn’t think it through or fully understand the whole process involved, as happens a lot when we venture into the unknown, ‘cause you don’t know what you don’t know. I was out for a walk the other evening with my little boy. He is five, is obsessed with tools, and will bring one of his toy tools with him everywhere so they can share the experience. He rotates them so they all get an opportunity to come out with him and it was drilly’s turn to go for a walk as he had never been before. As we were on our way home, little man said he’s like a jack hammer (pneumatic drill eeek) so he could drill up the road and put it back together again using sticky tape (scotch tape). Erm don’t think so sunshine, ain’t that simple or is it. It all looked so simple then… In the past, I’ve been guilty of getting involved in things before I’ve really worked out exactly what level of commitment or time required. Fear doesn’t resonate highly with me so as you can imagine having a low fear factor can and does occasionally lead to stupidity and not to wise decisions. When I first started my business all that I needed was my modus operandi as I fearlessly went forth making myself busy and signing up for every training going. I wanted to learn as much as I could as quickly as possible. This sometimes led to not giving me anytime to fully process any of it, never mind implement it. This also led me to go wander off, down other paths of discovery, which was a good thing, but there was also a bit of time wasting involved and general busyness. Incoming Sometimes with this method, you hit a dead end. And that’s usually when Destiny/fate, purpose call it what you will steps in and starts nudging you to get back on track and the signals get louder until you take notice. Those excursions had value as I learned something from each training, new book, course or whatever medium it was. That is the point of resistance, of pushing, an uphill battle, and nothing making sense. When I let go of the

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image of how it should be, or really how I should be, as I was basically looking at what other people were doing and trying to do the same rather than follow my own heart and trust in myself and do it my own unique way. Once I let go of the need to control outcomes things shifted rapidly. Holding onto anything too tightly just strangles it. Our ideas and plans require fluidly to expand and grow. Any constriction only leads to confusion. The best course of action is to be flexible and know when to call it a day and change direction. For me one of the indicators I am off track is, I start banging my head on things, literally. Ouch. It’s just a little bump first into a cupboard or stubbed toe and then if I ignore it, it becomes more pronounced until I take notice. Once I gain awareness, become present, start listening to my intuition and asking myself the magic question. “Is this leading me closer or further away from where I want to be?” that’s it. Simple.

Mary Joyce Mary Joyce is a life and relationship coach, naturally gifted intuitive, works with the angelic Realm, and Mum to two beautiful young children. She runs a couple of weekly life coaching workshops for women, works with local government agencies in the UK providing trainings in both life and career coaching. She works with women from every background from Entrepreneurs, small business owners to single mothers to help them live a life of Purpose and prosperity. You can find Mary at www.marymjoyce.com.

JUNKBOX Unique & Wonderful Treasures From The Past Visit Our Online Studio & Our NEW Clearance Store!

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Shifting…It’s Good For Business by Liz Nonnemacher

has always been for the small business owner. Ever since I was a child, I was fascinated by small shops and what they had to offer. Especially since, for the most part, that was all that was available back in the good old days. We didn’t have many big-box stores. A few here and there but not like there are in 2012. And I love to shop. Did I mention that? I don’t have to be buying anything. I’m happy enough just browsing and seeing what’s available and how things are set up. This love for the independent business owner and the love of shopping propelled me to work on the Wickedly Chic website with the total focus on that small business owner. I began this journey nearly 6 years ago and have gone in many different directions since then. My first focus was to help and serve those small shops. Provide them with yet another outlet for getting the word out about what they had to offer the world. After all, with so many small shops opening online, it’s very easy to get lost in the crowd. Competition is fierce. So at first, I had a business model (or lack of a business model, shall we say) where my focus was on serving THEM and not on serving MYSELF. I quickly hit many brick walls as I discovered that hundreds of businesses desired my services but they wanted them for free. Well, as I have said in other articles, free is NOT a business model that serves anyone. Why would I work my butt off to promote shops so that they could profit from my services but I would not? That’s crazy, right? Big brick wall.

SHIFT! I had to figure out a way to start profiting from what I was offering but still SERVE my shop owners. And it could not be free.

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Some wise woman once told me that until YOU really “get” …and I mean “really get” the value of what you offer to others, your business will stay in slow motion. I have found this to be more than true. It has taken me many shifts since then to raise rates and still provide plenty of value to the businesses that trust me to do my best job of promoting and marketing them. On the other hand, I have built up a large following that trusts me to tell them where to shop and where to plunk down their dollars. And I’ve hit a balance. Yes, you can still serve an audience and make a living…a profitable living as well… by following your passion and understanding the VALUE of what you are offering to others. If what you are doing is not serving YOU, it is time to make a change. You have hit a brick wall. The best part of owning your own business is that you can switch things around without asking anyone’s permission. Something not working? Switch it. Don’t feel as though you have to stay there. You aren’t stuck. Be sure that what you are doing is not only following your passion but serving both yourself and your clients. Then…and only then…will you have a win-win situation. And everyone will be happy. ~the end~

Liz Nonnemacher Liz is the Editor of Wickedly Chic, http://www.wickedlychic.com/, the hottest destination for shoppers seeking advice and product recommendations from the world of independent businesses. Liz’s experience as trend-spotter for her two daughters led her to Wickedly Chic in June of 2006. She is passionate about independent business and works hard to keep her readers both entertained and informed and to promote the businesses that are marketed within Wickedly Chic.

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ALL ABOUT YES INTERVIEW WITH Liz LaCLAIR

This month’s Yes Interview is all about our very own Liz LaClair and her journey. This is a true testament that nothing needs to stand in your way while going for your dreams. Please read... YES: Before we get in to the whys and wherefores, explain to us – just what is Virtually Helps? LL: Well, I’m a virtual assistant. My “specialty” is more along the line of a concierge-type secretary. I have clients who need me to help with their proposals and presentations, another who needs me to confirm appointments and verify insurance, and others who have me work with their newsletters/blogs. In a couple of situations, if it was something I didn’t have knowledge of, so I could do the job right, I found the right/better person for them. YES: What possessed you to start your business? Why did you become an entrepreneur? LL: To keep my sanity(?) I suppose. Because my epilepsy had gotten to a point in 2006 that my doctor told me I could not work in an office/corporate world, I had to do something. A company where I loved working merged with another in 2005 and I was no longer needed. A former boss went back to working his business (an offshoot) privately. He would call me periodically to have me work on his reports. During this time I was also trying to find similar work I could do from home. This is how I found my second client, she was the one who told me about virtual assistants. So Virtually Helps, LLC started out of necessity. It was necessary for me to do something, to be able to contribute, AND to not go nuts. YES: Does anyone close to you (family friends) help you with your business? LL: Currently it’s the “three of us” – the Me, Myself and I hardworking team. God knows I love my husband, but he makes for a terrible secretary. YES: What’s your favorite thing about being an entrepreneur? LL: WOW, I’d have to say being able to do the type of work I LOVE, and still be able to contribute. I just never really expected that contributing to go beyond my little office. You know? I have my website, I write my own blog (and people actually read it), I teach a local Adult Ed course! I never expected to be able to do these kinds of things, to be considered knowledgeable, that people would take me seriously.

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YES: What types of services/products do you offer? LL: Oops, I guess I answered that in a couple of places above. Well, basically I’m a secretary. I work with my clients and their documents – “branding” them to make them (tastefully) stand out from a crowd. When I work on those documents I’m also editing and/or suggesting another way to say something. I work with them on their presentations, to enhance them as well. I design flyers/brochures/business cards and then have them printed. I offer a variety of desk-top publishing, and document services. I also handle some database management, “traditional” secretarial services and internet research. Did you notice that the creative stuff is listed first? That part is what I LOVE to do the most. YES: What challenges do/did you face? LL: When you have any medical condition you face challenges. When your doctors tell you, you can’t work in an office and prescribe medications that make you a tad “foggy” at times. A person can be very nervous about doing anything and the self-esteem has left the building! Throw in I am actually very shy (until I really get to know people), I am amazed that I’ve gotten anywhere. But, when I feel “foggy” and need to sleep, I’m blessed to be able to work at home so I can take a nap to re-charge my batteries and continue working. Everything gets done. I haven’t missed a deadline. This challenge is actually very hard for me to talk about – because I’m afraid I’d loose potential clients this way. You know, folks may think I’m just not reliable. YES: What recommendations do you give other women who are thinking about starting a business? (or business similar to yours/in your field) LL: To quote a line in one of my favorite books: Frank Herbert’s Dune series “Fear is the mind-killer.” Of course the entire phrase is something to keep in mind, have on a wall somewhere. I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain. So, what I’m trying to say, don’t let fear win! Do what you know in your heart you can do. Do what makes your heart sing! YES: Best question for last – What does success mean to you? LL:

I’ve won. That I can do this.

Visit Liz Online at: http://www.facebook.com/VirtuallyHelps

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Who Are You Today? by Lori Latimer

When I was a little girl, I wanted to be a flight attendant. OK, back then they were called

stewardesses. But I loved to travel, I wanted to see the world, I was fluent in French and Spanish, so it seemed perfect. I still love to travel, but I never did become a flight attendant. Or a stewardess. Instead, I’ve been a waitress, a secretary, a color analyst, a mom, a wife, a single mom, and a multitude of other things. For the past 20 years or so, I’ve been a paralegal. I’ve tried little businesses on the side, but none of them were ever “it.” But really, how many people are where they started out, or where thought they would be? Sure, a few, like some doctors. Or some of the attorneys I work with in my paralegal job. But I also work with an attorney that was a school teacher for many years and is now one of the best family law attorneys in my city. The first family law attorney I worked for 20 years ago had been a Catholic priest for many years before going to law school in his late 30s. I also know attorneys that left the legal field and went on to do other things. Do we just become disillusioned with what we start out doing in life? That’s definitely part of it. Often people start out in a career because it’s what their parents push them toward. Or it’s what they think they should do. And then after doing it for a while, they realize that “this isn’t it.” By far the biggest reason most of us change paths throughout our lives is simply because we grow and evolve, as do our interests, passions and talents. This is particularly true if you’re an entrepreneur. As that happens, you may have to deal with critics in your life who ask you things like “Why can’t you stick to one thing?” Or “When are you going to get a real job?” In addition to still working as a paralegal, I now have my own business helping women going through transition. My own business has changed since I first started it in 2009, and it’s still evolving. Where it will end up is anyone’s guess, and I’m okay with that. Because I know why I’m doing it – I know what my bigger mission is. The “how” is simply the vehicle to get me there. The how of what you do isn’t as important as the why of what you do. As the world in general changes, and as technology changes, there are new and different opportunities out there. Whatever path you take, whatever vehicle gets you to your mission, isn’t as important as getting there is! We’re all going to run into challenges along the way. Those challenges can lead to doubts and questioning what we’re doing. The important thing is to reflect and pay attention to where those doubts are coming from. Are they coming from inside of you, from your own intuition, from your own knowing? Or are they coming from other people? Sometimes it’s easier for other people to see potential road blocks that we can’t see, or we don’t want to see. But often they come from people who are afraid of our growth and the fact that we’re

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changing, and they’re simply expressing their own fears. They want to keep us stuck because they’re stuck – and if we grow and evolve, where does that leave them? Only you will know whether you should listen and change direction or not. If you do get a clear message, either from yourself or from someone else, that you should change course or at least rethink what you’re doing, listen to your intuition. Then research alternatives. Ask mentors or others you look up to for help and support. At the end of the day, you have to follow your own heart. I recently read an article by someone that refunded money to people because she knew the program she had planned and offered wasn’t right for her right now. That takes courage, and shows a high level of honesty and integrity that not many people have. If you do change course at some point, don’t look back at what you did in the past as having been a waste of time! Every experience is a lesson, a learning experience. And each one has brought you to where you are today. Life is not linear. It takes many twists and turns. As long as you know your why, it’s okay to make changes in how you’re getting there.

Lori Laimer Lori helps women work through the issues they face as newly-single women. After working as a paralegal in family law for over 20 years and going through her own divorce, she discovered a way to heal the pain of past relationships and build a new life full of joy and passion. She now helps newly-single women and those going through divorce fall in love with themselves and their lives. You can find me at http://lorilatimer.com/

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Each week we have WINNERS that we think you should know. These are people on our Facebook Page that take the time to not only be actively involved but Share, Like, Post, Re-post, and Comment. Visit our FanPage at www.facebook.com/ItsAllAboutYes and GET INVOLVED! We would LOVE to promote you! So, Let Us Introduce....! Ashlee Landis promotes the Body By Vi 90 Day Challenge. Visit her at http://www.ShakeIt2Lose.com or http://www.facebook.com/90Days2ANewU

Jihan Cover is a successful Mompreneur promoting the Body By Vi 90 Day challenge as well as supporting and motivating others to success as a Home Business Success Coach. Learn more about her at www.facebook.com/coachjihan and www.liveafablife.com

Two-time Winners! For each of these women we’ll tell you a bit more about them. Sherrie Williams shares her talent and passion for photography through her business Phoenix Photography Services. She has expertise in Casual wedding, Sports, Pet, Equestrian, Modeling, Family and Children, Commercial, Landscape and Scenic, Band and Event, Wilderness and Watersports photo shoots. Sherrie’s ethics and professionalism and the high standards to which she holds herself are evident in not only her work, but the loyalty and satisfaction she receives from her customers. Visit Sherrie on facebook...The link is www.facebook.com/riversoftime. Jasmin Christensen is a psychologist and Life Coach. She works with people who are wounded…in one way or another and helps them shift back into the role of enjoying life again. Learn more by visiting Jasmin at www.facebook.com/Healingconncections or www.healingconnectionsandpathways.com

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What I Learned By Getting Lost by Jennifer Shelton

Originally published on FemCentral, October 26, 2010 After running some errands the other night, I told my son (age eight) that I thought we’d try to find a “back way” home. He said, “You know you’ll get lost, right?” I did know that. But, I did it anyway. I live in the middle of an area with several small towns and cities sandwiched between two medium sized cities. I regularly travel to all of them. The easiest way to get around is to use the interstate…but I frequently get an urge to turn down a country road and see if I can get home in a completely different way. The experience is always the same. I come to an intersection and make a left turn when I should have made a right; or, I go straight when I should have turned. I end up having no clue where I am. My mental chatter starts berating me, “You always do this. Why did you think it would be different this time? Do you know how much gas you’re wasting? You could have been home an hour ago.” And, after about an hour, getting more and more frustrated with myself, I see a street sign that I recognize, and all of a sudden, I’m know exactly where I am. I repeat this pattern several times a month. But, this time was different. My son called attention to the fact that I was doing something “illogical” before I’d even turned down that first unknown road. It made me wonder why I continue to do this, even when I know how it’s going to turn out. So, as I headed away from the interstate, I decided to observe myself. Getting lost on purpose As I drove, I was aware that I was getting lost. At several points, I knew that it would be more efficient to just turn around and go back the way I’d come. But, for some reason, I was determined to keep going. When I got to an intersection, I got the distinct sense that I was turning left, instead of right, on purpose. In the past, I’d decided that I had a lousy sense of direction. Being mindful of my thoughts and actions, I realized that some part of me knew exactly what it was doing and it was doing it for a reason. The entire drive went just as all the others had. My mental chatter kicked in, I got more and more frustrated (but I was observing my frustration this time, instead of getting sucked in by it), and suddenly, I knew where I was and how to get home. Subconscious message I’ve always been fascinated by the way our subconscious works. I’m no scientist but I regularly follow studies on the human brain. And, I know that many studies demonstrate that our subconscious mind makes better decisions than our conscious does. (See The Unconscious Mind: A Great Decision Maker) In this case, I wondered if my subconscious was trying to send me a message with my frequent urges to “get lost.” Once I got home, I meditated on what the message might be. The first thing that came to me was that no

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matter how lost I thought I was, I always got back home safely. Also, by meandering around, I better learned my environment and how everything related to each other. I got a picture of my area in a way that I completely missed while driving up and down the interstate. Then, it hit me. This was a metaphor for my life. Unexpected benefits I’m a goal-oriented, practical person. I’ve always prided myself on being extremely rational. But my life has taken quite a few unexpected twists and turns. For example, I spent over six years in graduate school studying Russian literature. I have a Masters in it and have finished all the coursework for the Ph.D. I didn’t have the drive to finish the Ph.D. (and you need a lot of drive to finish a doctoral program!) even though I went into the program thinking I’d end up as a professor. I constantly have people ask me if I regret spending all that time in graduate school. I haven’t actively used my Russian language skills in years. I realize, however, that I learned things in graduate school that I do use today. I honed my research and writing skills there. I gained valuable experience as a classroom teacher. My years of work with literary symbolism prepared me, in ways I’d never imagined, to be an astrologer. My work with symbolism also came in pretty handy when trying to figure out the meaning behind “getting lost”! Enjoying the process Now I see my life story in a different way. Every twist and turn and each seeming “dead end,” has had an unexpected significance. Sure, graduate school didn’t lead where I’d originally expected — but I found a much better use for it. Each job, each relationship, each experience, was valuable for reasons much greater and deeper than my original intentions and goals. The subconscious message is that it’s important is to enjoy the process, the back roads of life, and trust that I’ll always get to where I really need to be. Results I’ve explored the back roads twice since having this realization. And, I didn’t get lost either time! Even though the roads were unfamiliar, it was obvious how to get home. In one case, the route was shorter than the one I’d previously been taking! What’s your message? Our subconscious sends us messages all the time; are you in tune to yours? There are many ways to access the subconscious mind – dream interpretation, meditation, yoga. You can also see what’s going on in your life right now. Look for patterns and repeated behavior. What kind of books are you reading? What movies do you watch? Who are your friends? How do you spend your free time? Pay mindful attention to yourself and your life. You may just be surprised at what you discover!

Jennifer L Shelton Jennifer is the founder and administrator of FemCentral, the Virtual Institute for Women, where she also works as an astrologer, intuitive coach and instructor. She teaches undergraduate, online classes in global cultures for Franklin University and works as an education, outreach and training consultant. She’s a writer. She’s a mom. She’s gloriously busy doing the things she loves. You can find Jennifer at www.jenniferlshelton.com

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Live Your Passion: But How? by Jill Stafford

What do you want? Once you hit the target, then what? Hit the wrong target?? Regroup and go again. Because life is not a straight line and neither is your work. As I developed this month’s article it grew in length, breadth and depth. Frankly, I wrote a book!!! So I had to scale it back …way back. The result is what follows – some of my rules and lessons learned. I hope they will give you support as you journey and encourage insight as you reflect. • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

Show Up Play Full Out Reflect Quietly Love Laugh Out Loud Fight Yield Ask For Help Set Goals Make Mistakes Find the Opportunities Listen Actively Give Generously Be Persistent Nurture Faith Believe Breathe

And remember to enjoy the journey! I’d love to hear your thoughts. Email me at makeandmeetyourgoals@ gmail.com or share on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/jill.stafford.coach . ‘Til next month …

Jill Stafford combine s her MS in Holistic Teaching & Learning with her Professional Coaching practice, Meet your Goals. Currently residing in Fredericksburg, VA, she enjoys working with adult college students with special needs, health and weight loss clients, as well as small business owners. Jill is highly creative and intuitive and is a radio host, song writer and author. Visit her Coaching Page at http://www.facebook.com/jill.stafford.coach Her Holistic Teaching, Learning and Living Page at http://www.facebook.com/pages/Holistic-Teaching-Learning-and-Living/203570723015315 and her My Vi Story Page at http://www.facebook.com/pages/My-Vi-Story/352045021482026 . Of course if you want to learn more about the Body By Vi 90 Day Challenge go to http://vibrantyou.bodybyvi. com/ Jill looks forward to hearing from our readers and partnering with you to make YOUR goals realities!!!!

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Change the Win. It Is As Simple As That. by Jennifer Winzeler

I would like to invite you to take some time to explore, what, for you is the Big Win. How have you defined this and how much clarity do you have surrounding it? From where does your definition derive? Is it soul felt, or ego driven? Has someone else imposed it upon you, or is it really, truly, YOUR win? So often, we start out on a path, full of passion and enthusiasm. A course that we are sure is laid out in perfect alignment with our soul purpose and deepest truth. We have done all the work to created clear and detailed goals that really resonate with us. We do the “Vision Board”, we set the intention and then, we begin the journey. BUT, is it really a journey we are on, or a hell bent path full of drive and determination to get exactly what we want in the only way that we know (in our MINDS) to get it? You see, we can THINK it through, reason, chart graph, plan step by step, and somehow, this often feels safer. But heavens, all the work. And yet, we are “workers”. This working, in our society, makes us valuable, certainly employable, and is a way to measure our own worth. Again, having that measuring stick, implies safety. This allows for us a tool to judge by. Gives us control over how valued we are. A gage. For example, if I get enough accomplished, check it all off my list, then, YES! I am a superstar. I WIN. But do I? Do you? Stick with me here. So, what if, you just are, by your very nature, a WINNER. You are valuable and have innate worth just because you exist. You have no control over this, it just is. You just are. Now, what then do you work for? Maybe, just maybe, you work for the experience of working. For the shear value of the process. Not to win approval, gain accolades, or even secure love. What if, you were not only all ready “approved”, but cherished? What if you were being praised constantly in a million ways everyday, and that you knew, you were/are loved inexplicitly, unconditionally and eternally? AND, what if as a result of all these things, you are being carried on a journey, step by monumental step that, indeed, just steers you to THE win. Would you be more able to let go of your map if you KNEW that in the end, you would arrive exactly where you were/are meant to be? Could you possibly conceive that you truly are lead and loved, supported and valued even when what the world is offering seems completely contrary to you “winning” at all?

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So when this happens, you perceive an event, or circumstance as working against you, what if you held fast to the notion that this is just how you are seeing it, how it SEEMS, not the truth. The Truth is merely that the road map you created is being perfected by a greater Source, much more familiar with the terrain. What is your Big WIN? Whatever you decide it is or will be, craft it from a place of knowing, that, by your very nature, you ARE A WINNER.

Jennifer Winzeler Jennifer is dedicated to supporting women as they journey toward discovering their own unique purpose. Devoted to guiding people through physical movement, and mind/body connection, as a Stott Pilates instructor, she is fueled by witnessing growth and lasting change. Seeing women evolving into a fuller expression of their true essence is her calling. Moved by her own transformation and growth during particularly trying times, she founded and is owner of CARNA, LLC. A company whose mission, in part, is to connect women with their own inner strength and vitality in a way that inspires and empowers them to fully embody their truth. Connect with Jennifer for group wellness programming or one on one personalized coaching. Follow Jennifer’s blog: http://carnatuttoepossibile. wordpress.com/2011/07/ or go to her site: http://carna-vitality.com/

Positive Inspirational Persistence Story ‘I had far more do haves than don’t haves’ The early morning sun seemed to put my state of mind at ease. I could hear a plethora of birds feeding, singing and maximising all the day had to offer. It was amazing the influence simple things such as the early morning sun and the singing of the birds had in helping me reassess my situation. I couldn’t help but feel that once again the universe had taken me within its palm and gently guided me to a new level of understanding and appreciation of life. Although Multiple Sclerosis (MS) is usually not fatal, I felt that surrendering my mind and ability to decide my actions were as good as dying. I was alive and for all the disabilities MS would challenge me with, while I had the strength to breathe, think, love and choose, I would focus from this day forward on what I have instead of what I didn’t have. It was time to put my power to choose into action. I could choose to accept that I had MS and that MS didn’t have me! This was a significant day for me. After spending weeks in Royal Prince Alfred Hospital unable to walk, blurred vision, unable to wash or dress myself and generally feeling sorry for myself, I found my inner being slowly beginning to fight back. Although the future did not appear tremendous, I was now able to acknowledge that I did have choices. I could choose to give in to this crippling disease and let it take control of my life, or I could choose to focus on what I had and what I could do. It wasn’t the time to say it’s too hard. It was time to put all my years as a mentor, leader and competitor into action.

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Brick Wall? I Have a Headache by: Daye Salander

For over three years I did everything I knew how to, to save a dying business and I was angry and terribly sad with a feeling of loss and yet I continued to hit my head against a brick wall. And let me tell you, boy, did I have a headache! There seemed no way around it or under or over it and I had nothing in my arsenal to blow it up either. I was running on “empty” and I knew it but refused to consider the idea of closing the business for I knew it was still viable. I kept looking for answers year after year as the company drained finances, and me. That answer didn’t come for a long time. Why? Maybe it was my own pride or maybe not admitting to myself what I wanted. Maybe I just refused to “listen” to what was going on in my life. Or maybe it was just fear of doing anything different, not trusting myself. I’m still not sure why it took me so long to figure it out but it seemed the answer came in an instant…a moment where things became crystal clear. There is a reason we hit brick walls that are impossible to surmount. We are not talking bumps in the road or brick walls that are easily bypassed or even with some difficulty. We are talking about complete blocks to moving forward. I am a firm believer that the reason we simply cannot get past the wall is because we, ourselves are the creators of the walls and therefore each time we “attack” the wall, we easily fend off the attack. It’s like fighting yourself. We throw up walls all the time that we must surmount but this particular type of wall, although we may not know it at the time nor do we appreciate it, is to protect ourselves. We stop ourselves from going in a direction that we oppose. That being said, how do you know if the wall is a true block to your progress or just a bump, albeit a large bump, that you have to get past? Time will usually answer that question and in my case, it took a long time (as I kept hitting my head against that brick wall). I refused to consider options that were outside my comfort zone. I think maybe there is a better way and that is to question the direction you are heading and whether that falls in line with what you want, what you know is true to your heart. If you are truly on the right path, the answers will come to you and you will get past the wall but if you are not then it is time for change.

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In my case? I chose a different profession – totally different and unrelated to what I did before. I found someone to run my company and now I work there one day a week. Has it been easy? Absolutely not. Is the transition complete? No, not yet. Am I dead dog tired? Yes. But…I can see a glimpse of my new life and I love it. I may be tired but I’m happy, the stress is gone, and my path is clear. And ya know what? It was only scary until I made the decision and then the wall disappeared (as did the headache!).

Daye Salander Daye recently has walked away from the corporate world to pursue her love of antiques and collectibles. Once, a graphic designer and owner of a sign company, she has decided it was time to focus on the things she truly enjoys along with her husband, Mark. In a 180 degree turn she is an antiques dealer and collector. She buys, sells, acquires, and of course, collects. Daye works for iAntique.com part-time as their social networker and as a writer providing tips and info on antiques. She has an booth at Victoria Village Antiques in Snohomish, Washington as well as sells online at www.rubylane.com/shop/JunkboxTreasures and has just opened a “clearance” site at www.Etsy.com/shop/VintageMarkDown

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Don’t Give Up

By Dr. Lara Fernandez

BIG LOVE.

The LOVE of a lifetime. The kind of love that’ll make your sunny days brighter and will make your gray days warmer – forever. I wish that for you. I WANT that for you. I wouldn’t be spending hours and hours and days and days – writing articles, writing my book, doing our Men of Quality Do Exist Video Series if I didn’t KNOW that it’s possible for YOU, the beautiful spirit I’m writing to right now. Hey, I know it can be lonely and hard and painful sometimes. Sometimes you wonder if you’ll ever find him (or her). Sometimes you wonder if it’s even worth it, hoping and dreaming of soul mate love…it’s taking soooo LONG! Maybe your mom told you to quit dreaming and be practical, or your best friend (who’s single and miserable) doesn’t “believe in soul mates” and seems to think you’re crazy for thinking soul mate love is even possible. Believing for and going for soul mate love takes real courage and commitment. This doesn’t mean you don’t have your “down” or fearful days, it just means that you’re willing to be “different” than a lot of your friends and family and that even when it gets difficult, you’ll stay true to your heart’s desire. In Mike Robbins’ book, Be Yourself, Everyone Else is Already Taken – The Power of Authenticity, Mike has outlined the 5 Principles of Authenticity in clear and powerful language. Principle #4 is “Be Bold”. Be bold enough to ask yourself what you’re passionate about and then step out in spite of any fear you may have. If you are PASSIONATE about manifesting your soul mate, do what Mike (who’s in a soul mate relationship himself) recommends in Chapter 6 of his book: 1. Be true to yourself 2. Live with passion 3. Step out (Mike says to ask yourself, “What am I willing to do today that means stepping out and going for what I really want in my life in a bold way?” – I recommend putting this question on a sticky note on your bathroom mirror where you’ll see it everyday)

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ON THE LIGHTER SIDE Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult. ~Charlotte Whitton A woman can say more in a sigh than a man can say in a sermon. ~Arnold Haultain Being a woman is a terribly difficult task, since it consists principally of dealing with men. ~Joseph Conrad Women really do rule the world. They just haven’t figured it out yet. When they do, and they will, we’re all in big big trouble. ~Doctor Leon A woman is the full circle. Within her is the power to create, nurture and transform. ~Diane Mariechild In politics if you want anything said, ask a man. If you want anything done, ask a woman. ~Margaret Thatcher

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4. Lean on others (ask for support from positive mentors, books, workshops) 5. When you fall down, get back up. (This is the way successful people in all areas of life get what they want) Whatever you do, please don’t give up. Keep going. Soul mate Love is worth it. YOU are worth it. The world needs more people in healthy, loving, authentic and connected soul mate relationships. And besides that, life is simply MORE FUN and more FULFILLING when you are connected in this way!

Dr. Lara B. Fernandez After a short but heartbreaking first marriage, and years of serial monogamy in relationships that always seemed to be exactly NOT what she was looking for Lara realized that by actively and properly preparing to realize her desires, she could change her life for the better. She soon saw the fruits of her time, energy, and money invested in her dreams – she actually magnetized her soulmate, Johnny, to her. With the power of these amazing magnetizing principles fresh in her mind and heart, Lara then applied the principles to her professional life. Together they created a successful chiropractic wellness center, then moved on to helping others create their own magic and miracles. Blending Lara’s warmth and magical manifesting mojo with Johnny’s 20 years of experience in education, course creation, and training their fun and effective LoveLaunch courses and programs now help others worldwide to create a life that they truly love with the love of their life by their side.

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Finding the RIGHT Thing for YOU! by Liz LaClair

Have you ever tried something you thought would work? Actually went along with what someone was selling you about this idea/program because you felt in your heart this would work? Well, I did. I had been in a job I HATED!! It was making me physically sick (my record year of seizures was while I was at that job), I dreaded going in – every day. So when this great (I thought) opportunity came along I jumped on the band wagon. It was one of those MLM companies, you know like: Herbalife, Avon, Mary Kay, Party Lites, Tupperware, etc. (it was one of those – I won’t say which) the products were GREAT. But they were/are expensive – compared to what one can buy in a store for a similar product. I did everything my “upline” told me to do. I made all the calls to people who’d expressed interest. I was on every learning call, and took all the courses they offered. The results? I fell off the wagon. I couldn’t even sell anything to my own family and because I kept pumping money in, we had to file for bankruptcy. OUCH! All during this time, I had a former boss who’d gone out on his own occasionally asking me to help him with his projects. “Liz you know how I like my proposals to look, you know how I think, would you help me with this project?” Well, yes – extra money and it was fun. Why wouldn’t I do this? I finally realized that this MLM thing wasn’t for me. You see it takes someone with selling skills to do that. When I was working retail (part-time) I couldn’t even suggestive sell additional products! Where did I get the idea I could do the MLM thing? Doing the virtual assistant thing – YES, I can do that! You see, I love this type of work. I especially love when I can take someone’s reports/presentations/blog posts/newsletters and make them look better. You know, dress them up, and give them pizzazz. I enjoy editing. I enjoy helping my clients. (Did you notice that the

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Absurdity is what I like most in life, and there’s humor in struggling in ignorance. If you saw a man repeatedly running into a wall until he was a bloody pulp, after a while it would make you laugh because it becomes absurd. ~ David Lynch After working for 14 years on Wall Street and growing up in a family with strong roots in small business, I know how important the entrepreneurial spirit is to attaining the American dream. ~ Ellen Tauscher Before I was humiliated I was like a stone that lies in deep mud, and he who is mighty came and in his compassion raised me up and exalted me very high and placed me on the top of the wall. ~ Saint Patrick Having hit a wall, the next logical step is not to bang our heads against it. ~ Stephen Harper “hitting the proverbial brick wall” Means encountering an obstacle than one can not penetrate. Impossible to overcome. ~ Webster’s Dictionary.com

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creative stuff is listed first? Did I mention I really, really love that stuff?) So, I had started the idea that I needed my own business. I needed to get away from the job I was in and do what I wanted to do. The sad, rotten thing was doing that expensive step first. But because of that MLM, I at least knew what company to contact for creating my website. So I did learn something.

Liz LaClair I have TWO best parts of my life. I’m thrilled to have found my business calling! I truly enjoy working with my clients – the work I do is fun! Check out how I got past my challenges – learn how I’m taking what was a not so good and making it great. Yes, I write a blog too. I’m a small business entrepreneur who likes working/supporting other small businesses. The other best part of my life? I’m married to the love of my life. He’s very supportive of what I’m doing. Who could ask for more? You can find me at http://www.virtuallyhelps.com/

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‘I Had Far More Do Haves Than Don’t Haves’

I asked my brother Andrew to bring me in a pen and note pad on his next visit. When he arrived the next day I asked him if he would draw a line down the centre of the page (I was unable to write at the time as my right hand was paralysed due to the relapse). I then asked him to write the heading ‘ DO HAVE ‘above the left column and ‘ DON’T HAVE ‘above the right column. It was time to take an inventory on my life and maximise what I had. ‘I DO HAVE’ · Loving caring family · Loyal friends · A resilient nature · Intelligence · Charisma · Character · Control · A wonderful country · Medical support · Hope · Opportunities · Compassion · Commitment · Courage · The ability to dream

‘I DON”T HAVE’ · Perfect health · Normal mobility · A career as I knew it

This exercise clearly demonstrated that for all the troubles I was confronted with, I had far more do haves than don’t haves. While we cannot always control change and the process it takes, we can take control of our ability to deal with it through the power of choice ... our attitude. The most unknown, unused and unrecognised tool of the human mind is the recognition that our attitude is always a choice.

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Changing Lanes by Tricia Dycka

At one time or another in life you hit a brick wall, and you have two choices. Continue hitting the brick wall, or change lanes and make a course correction. A while back I was feeling restless and stagnant where nothing was moving the way I wanted it to. How did I know I needed to change lanes? I was getting ZERO RESULTS. One thing I learned was there was a process that we all go through when we finally admit to ourselves that what we are doing just isn’t working. As much time, effort, blood, sweat and tears that may have gone into this venture it might just be time to do something different. It could be a simple change or a total overhaul. When the realization comes that it is time to move on, the onslaught of emotional baggage that comes with it can be staggering. Some common threads are misery, followed by pissed off, then comes the pity party of one and last but not least comes the Warrior mode. OK so I am not on the right track what is my next step? When this last happened to me I was going toward a complete overhaul of what I thought was my right path which of course it wasn’t and then lead to synchronicity on all levels. I kept asking questions in my journal, writing things down as they would come to me. Then all the right people were put in my path. Each person came with the same message. People who do not know one another, and will never meet, from all corners of the world. I finally got the message that God/Universe was sending me. My path was about to change irrevocably. And it scared the shit out of me. That is how I knew that this was the path I am meant to be on. How did I not give up? I am a fighter. I believe in myself and that I am here to make a difference. There were definitely times going through the emotional baggage I was ready to quit but something kept me going. Some piece of knowledge that I would learn all I needed to know and it would be a worthwhile journey. The next time you are hitting brick walls and ready to change lanes know that you are not alone and around that next corner something amazing is waiting to happen.

Tricia Dycka Tricia is an Entrepreneur, life enthusiast, author, intuitive, funny, very candid, great listener. Take the path less traveled. Living in the moment. Enjoys massive amounts of chocolate and coffee. Supportive friend who is there for you when everyone else has abandoned you and thinks you have lost your mind. Encourages entrepreneurs to embrace themselves so they can create an environment that supports their dreams. You can find me at www.triciadycka.com

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So, what’s your plan B? C? D? by Michele Brant

started my career based on what I thought I should do. I had some good times along the way but, at the same time, there were many times that I acknowledged to myself that I didn’t belong. I kept on for over 15 years mostly because I didn’t think I had any other options. Then, there came a time that I saw a glimmer of possibility and started exploring. I always loved fashion so I thought it was owning my own boutique. I had the chance to work at one part-time and realized pretty quickly that retail wasn’t for me. Discouraging… After that, I thought it was being a personal trainer. Working at a YMCA providing exercise plans to clients led to boredom. My ideas of what I was meant to do were dashed again. Hmmmmm… I knew one thing. I wanted to make a difference in people’s lives. I attended a workshop that was led by a coach and knew almost immediately that my true destiny was to be a coach. And that is what I am now doing. What I learned was that going after your passion may take time and may look different than your original vision. For me, it took a willingness to be patient and trust the process. As each puzzle piece of my exploration came together, it became more and more clear what I was meant to do. The cool thing is that I actually bring fashion into my practice by being authentic in what I wear to be a model to others in doing the same. Also, a big part of my coaching practice involves supporting my clients with their wellness goals so; I connected the dots that lead to where I am now. I now see that each experience was necessary to get where I am. I read a young adult book recently that my stepdaughter read as well called, Susanna Sees Stars by Mary Hogan. Susanna was going after her dream job and ended up in an embarrassing situation that she believed squashed her plans. She was sharing with her Dad in the following passage: “Basically,” I say dejectedly, “I killed a career that hadn’t even started. So much for master plans.” Dad looks me straight in the eye and asks, “So, what’s your Plan B?” “Plan B?” “Who succeeds on the first try? Look at Christopher Columbus. He was attempting to sail to Asia and he ended up discovering America.” “Or Spence Silver,” Dad continues.

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“Who?” “Spense Silver set out to create the world’s strongest glue and ended up inventing the worst glue. The only thing he could use it for was a little billion-dollar invention called Post-it notes.” “Everybody needs a Plan B, sweetheart,” Dad says softly. “If Spence Silver, had given up when he made a mistake, what would we all stick around the front of our coumputers?” Do you have a plan B? Don’t give up! Your passion may evolve over time into something even more amazing than you ever thought possible. That is what happened for me!

Michele Brant is a Certified Professional coach with Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC) and also has an International Coach Federation (ICF) aligned Professionally Certified Coach credential. Integrating her expertise in the area of life balance, she has worked with countless clients like you, to help them achieve the life they truly want to be living. She knows the challenges that professional women face from the inside, with more than 20 years of corporate and consulting experience, including project management, training and development, online marketing, leadership, business, career, wellness and life coaching. She has been there and knows how it feels to be overwhelmed and unfulfilled. She started out her adult life making decisions from the perspective of “this is what I should do.” She struggled with depression, insomnia, not feeling like she fit in and being in several relationships that weren’t fulfilling. She kept on this course for a long time, losing herself due to making compromise after compromise. From the outside, it may have seemed to most people that she had it all together. But deep down, she wasn’t happy and lacked clarity and direction to live the life she really wanted to be living. Fortunately, she discovered coaching and it changed her life. She can truly say now that her life is balanced and fulfilling including a wonderful marriage, great friendships, and a fantastic career. She currently lives in the Charlotte, NC area with her husband, stepdaughter, 2 adopted dogs and a cat. You can find out more about Michele at www.complete-living.org

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I Will Persist Until I Succeed by Jihan Cover

Going after your passion and handling the brick walls you may hit because what you think it is really isn't. How to evolve without giving up. How many times did you switch directions?

Have you ever felt like you KNOW the destination of your dreams, you just really have no idea HOW to get there? You know WHAT it is, but no idea which way is the right way to get there? Wouldn’t it be nice to have a road map during those times? Whether its relationship, career, or self discovery, we’ve all been in a place where it feels like we are hitting more brick walls than meeting the success of our dreams. I’d like to use career as an example. When someone says “I’m going to be a writer” what does that statement really mean? Well, first off, “going” is a term used to explain a temporary action, such as “going on a cruise” or “going for a walk.” Neither phrase implies that the trip is indefinite (even though an indefinite cruise sounds pretty awesome). The problem here is that we set ourselves up for failure from the very beginning. Instead of making an indefinite statement of “going to be”, make a commitment of “I AM”. Act as if you already are. SEE you being the thing you imagine yourself to be. If you follow these 4 steps you will be able to make a change in your life without feeling the guilt involved with changing directions. Clear Your Mind If you truly want to change something in your life, you must first rid your thoughts of failure. Think about what you truly want without giving in to negative thoughts. To do this, think about how important this change is to you. Make a conscious promise with yourself that no matter how hard this change might be, you will always keep going. Regardless of where the road takes you, you will stay strong KNOWING that the path, regardless of how indirect, will always lead you exactly where you need to be. Making this promise will give you confidence and promote positive thoughts. Set Clear and Manageable Goals It is much easier to keep yourself motivated when you have a clear set of manageable rules and goals. Make sure you choose something that is within your control. You can only control yourself and your actions, you cannot control anyone else around you. Remember, regardless of how many times you have to change direction, if you have a clear outcome in mind and speaking AS IF, you will be able to stay focused on your ultimate outcome. You will behave as

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if you already are. The amount of tries it takes to get you to your goal will not phase you. You know exactly where you are going. Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t Do It Alone One of the best ways to motivate yourself is to set goals and share them with those around you. Having someone by your side will help you stay focused and moving forward. Whether you decide to work with a coach, enlist the support of friends or family, or even an online forum where you have something in common with members. A great way to keep your goals in the forefront of your mind is to make sure that everyone around you knows where you are going. I Will Persist Until I Succeed This is the most critical part of your journey. Keep sight of your goals regardless of how many detours you have to take. Again, remember the ultimate goal is your focus, the road you take to get there is secondary. As a new mother in my 30s, I decided to change my life. Not because I gave up on the current path I was on, but because I remembered that there was MORE. I realized that I had lost sight of my ultimate goal. I had gotten too caught up in the HOW, in the PATH, and lost sight of the destination. Today I am living my dream. I am a successful mompreneur and I know exactly where I am headed. The road may have been long, there may have been many detours, but I have stayed true to my WHO and the HOW has fallen nicely into place.

Jihan Cover Jihan is an Energy Leadership and Life Mastery Professional Certified Life Coach. She works with women (and men!) looking to discover their true "who" and start living the lives of their dreams. Jihan is also a wellness coach and passionate about helping people achieve health and wellness in all areas of their lives. She's a mommy and a wife, a writer, radio show host, and lover of life! She loves living a life where she can truly help people. You can find Jihan at www.liveaFABlife.com and www.jihancover.com