2 DAY SKILLS PRACTICE INTENSIVE: SUPPORTING THE ANXIOUS MIND WITH CHILDREN AND ADOLESCENTS
Wednesday, May 17, 2023 – Thursday, May 18, 2023 | WINNIPEG, MB
AGENDA
Understanding the neurobiology of anxiety and its contributors
• Gen Z, Generation Alpha, pressures, and technostress
• Normal vs. problematic worry
• Transdiagnostic approach to anxiety
• The nature of anxiety
• Anxiety & the brain
• Anxiety schemas
• 4 key routes to anxiety
• How anxiety shows up
• What maintains anxiety and the anxiety traps to avoid
• Student IPPs addressing anxiety
• Anxiety & neurobiology of trauma
Relationships and effective communication in addressing anxiety and trauma
• Rapport building and safety
• Effective emotion coaching
• Parent management and effective co-regulation
• Building emotional literacy
• Responding to anxiety in helpful ways
• Promoting confidence and independence
LEARNING OBJECTIVES
Establishing parent and child/teen buy-in
• Helping children and teens become experts of anxiety & their own neuropsychology
• Identifying and connecting the “Big Why”
• Collaborative agenda setting
• Motivational interviewing & values clarification
• Promoting an anxiety busting attitude
• Parent buy-in
• Addressing pushback
Externalizing and exposing anxiety
• Externalize and expose anxiety
• The trickster brain
• Identifying & individualizing henchmen
• Building awareness
Accepting anxiety & getting unstuck
• The power of paradox
• Acceptance vs. elimination
• Downfall of experiential avoidance
• Building emotion tolerance (and uncertainty tolerance)
• Explain the unique stress our children and teens face
• Differentiate normal and problematic worries
• Identify how anxiety manifestsin neurobiology, emotions, and behaviours
• Explain the key pathways to anxiety
• Identify the key variables that maintains anxiety and stalls progress
• Develop and provide client-friendly psychoeducation about anxiety
• Explain the impact of traumatic stress on the brain and how traumatic memory is stored
• Exercises to promote acceptance of somatic symptoms
• Building flexibility
Detaching from anxiety & enhancing the thinking brain
• Detaching from anxiety
• Interrupting rumination and overwhelm
• Strategies to demote anxiety
• Building the problem-solving brain (vs. strengthening the anxious one)
• Becoming rulers over anxiety
• Somatic integration
Daring and defying anxiety
• Functional assessments to individualize treatment
• Identifying fear cues and consequences, safety behaviours and functions
• Importance of stress inoculation
• Setting up exposures successfully
• Interoceptive exposure
• Interpersonal exposure
• Cognitive exposure
• Trauma approaches
• Habituation (and its traps)
• Maximizing fear extinction and safety learning
• Promoting an anxiety busting attitude
• Rewiring the anxious brain
• Creating an anxiety-busting lifestyle
• The risk-takers advantage
• Overcoming fear obstacles
• Addressing reverse hypnosis
• Effective responses to anxiety meltdowns and panic attacks
• Case examples
• Panic
• Social anxiety
• Generalized anxiety
• School refusal
Thriving from anxiety into the future and beyond
• Sustaining success
• Success bridges
• Breathing
• Mindfulness
• Healthy anxiety busting habits
• Changing baseline arousal levels & regulating the nervous system
• Discuss the shortcomings of traditional approaches
• Implement rapport-building tips and tools to improve relationships and create safety
• Engage as an effective anxiety coach
• Demonstrate skills to elicit buy-in from any child, teen, or parent
• Utilize strategies that help family members become effective emotion coaches for their children and teens
• Detect and challenge any of anxiety’s henchmen
Caroline Buzanko, Ph.D., R. Psych. is a licensed psychologist and clinical director of Koru Family Psychology. She has worked with children with neurodevelopmental disorders and their families for over 20 years, with a focus on maximizing connection, confidence, learning success, and resilience. In her clinical work, she specializes in the assessment and treatment of ADHD, ASD, learning difficulties, anxiety, and behavioural disorders. Through her specialized assessments, she helps parents and teachers understand kids’ strengths, areas of challenge, what makes learning easy, and how to best support them. She also offers therapeutic interventions to support children, teens, and their families.
208-197 Forester St, North Vancouver, BC V7H 0A6 t 604 924 0296 | tf 1 800 456 5424 | f 604 924 0239
Child & Youth Focused | 12 CEUs
WE ARE PLEASED TO WELCOME YOU TO A JACK HIROSE & ASSOCIATES WORKSHOP.
If you have any questions or concerns throughout the day, please notify your on-site coordinator.
PLEASE REMEMBER TO:
ü Wear your name badge every day
ü Turn off your cell phone
ü Hand in your evaluation forms at the end of each day
SCHEDULE:
This schedule may vary depending on the flow of the presentation and participant questions
8:00am – 8:30am Sign-In – Refreshments Provided
8:30am – 10:30am Workshop Begins
10:30am – 10:45am Mid-Morning Break – Refreshments Provided 10:45am – 12:00pm Workshop in Session
12:00pm – 1:00pm Lunch Break - Not Provided
Sign-In - CPA Members Only
1:00pm – 2:30pm Workshop in Session
2:30pm – 2:45pm Mid-Afternoon Break – Refreshments Provided
2:45pm – 4:00pm Workshop in Session
4:00pm Hand-In Evaluation Forms
Sign-Out – CPA Members Only
CERTIFICATES:
• Certifcates are available for all particpants to download.
• To download a copy of your receipt or certificate, please visit: http://registration.jackhirose.com/certificates
• Certificates will be made available to download once the workshop has ended.
Are you a member of the Canadian Psychological Association (CPA), Canadian Counselling and Psychotherapy Association (CCPA) or the Vocational Rehabilitation Association of Canada (VRA)?
Please read the important CEU information below.
• Please request a form from the on-site coordinator. Forms need to be filled out and submitted directly to the association by the participant.
• For CPA Members Only:
- New Policy as mandated by the Canadian Psychological Association
- CPA Members must take their name badge in the morning, sign in after lunch and sign out at the end of the day.
- Early departure means CPA Members are no longer eligible to receive CPA credits
- Certificates will be updated with CPA credits when the forms are returned to our head office for verification (please allow 2 – 4 weeks). Updated certificates are available for download here: http://registration.jackhirose.com/certificates
208-197 Forester St, North Vancouver, BC, Canada V7H 0A6 t 604 924 0296 | tf 1 800 456 5424 | f 604 924 0239
drcarolinebuzanko.com1 Dr.CarolineBuzanko,R.Psychologist www.drcarolinebuzanko.com info@korupsychology.ca SupportingtheAnxiousMind withChildrenandAdolescents Anxietyisthe mostcommon mentalhealth problemin kidsK-12… &theleadingreasonfor children’semergencyroom visitsandhospitalizations 2 Notsomething theyoutgrow 3 1 2 3
Untreatedanxietyistheleadingpredictorof depressioninteens&youngadults
drcarolinebuzanko.com2 …itusuallygetsprogressivelymoresevere. 4
5
Teensareextremely
susceptiblefordeveloping anxiety
4 5 6
Stress
drcarolinebuzanko.com3
especially vulnerable 7
Teensare
•Teensreportmorestressthan adultsjugglingallthedemands imposedonthem Moreexpectations •Morehomework Moredeadlines •Lessresources •Fewerbreaks/recess •Appearances 88
but Vulnerabletolearnthewrongthings 7 8 9
Primedtolearn
Alreadyincreasedstressresponses =increasedvulnerabilitytostress.
Addanymore:
•Effectslearningandmemory
•Greaterriskforothermentalhealthproblems
•Greaterriskofemotionaltrauma
•Increasedstress-inducedillnesses
•Altersthematurationofbrains
•
•
drcarolinebuzanko.com4 10 = Moodchanges& pooremotional& impulsecontrol =
Comparedtoadults,unabletocope
Effectscanbelong-lastingandevenirreversible 11
10 11 12
70%ofallmentalhealth problemsbegininchildhood andadolescence
80%ofchildrenand teensaffected negativelyfromCOVID
Earlyinterventionhelpsminimizelater problemswithdepression
Anxiety ImpairsDailyFunctioning
•Sleep!!!
•Academics
•Socialinteractions
•Happinessandoutlook
•Familyrelationships
•Doingthings/goingplaces
•Nutrition
•Self-care
•Independence
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15 13 14 15
Intheclassroom, anxietyisan exceptionality thataffectshow studentslearn.
AnxietyLimitsLearning
Worrytakesupalotofcognitivespace…
•Poorattentionandconcentration
•Unabletofollowinstructions
•Unabletotransitionbetweentask
…therefore,superficiallearningishappening…
•Forgetthingspreviouslylearned
•Cannotremembernewconcepts
•Cannotgeneralizeknowledge
•Swisscheeseknowledge
17
LimitsLearning
16
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LimitsLearning
LimitsExecutive Functioning
AnxietyImpairs SocialSuccess
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•Slow,limitedproductivity •Mayperformaswellasothersbutalot moreefforttodoso •Perfectionism •Missedassignments •Procrastination •Workslowly •Delaytransitions •Ritualswithchecking •Rereading •Organizingmaterials •Rewriting 19
•Attention •Impulsivity •Organization •Planning&Prioritizing •Initiation •Workingmemory •Decisionmaking •Self-monitoring **Inconsistentperformance 20
ThisPhotobyUnknownAuthorislicensedunderCCBY-SA 19 20 21
drcarolinebuzanko.com8 Mostgowithouteffectivesupport 22 Why? •Ofchild •Ofanxiety (Mis)Understanding Parentsthinktheycanhelpontheirown Cost Generalpractitioners Waittosee 23 Veryfewseekhelp •Adultsjustdon’tunderstand •Therefore,youcannothelpme •Fear •Beingmisunderstood •Nottakenseriously •Forcefullytakenoffline •Beingdiagnosedorstigmatized •Leftwithoutanycontrol 22 23 24
drcarolinebuzanko.com9 Understand 26 Physically Cognitively Behaviourally FightFlight Response Worriesare heretostay •Normal,protectivefeeling •Necessaryforsurvival •Itsok! •Temporaryinthemoment
Notdangerous
Nottobeeliminatedoravoided
Canhelpmotivate&energizeus 27 25 26 27
•
•
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However,whilesocietyhaschanged somucheveninthepasttwo decades,ourbrainhasnotchangedin hundredsofthousandsofyears…
Worriestobeexpected
Developmentallyappropriatefears
•Survival:separation,danger
Lifetransitions
•Newschool,graduation,changeinfamilycomposition,teenageyears
Stressfulexperiences
•Neworunfamiliarsituations
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builttoprotect us…
Thebrainwas
28
thatmakesthatbrainmeantto protectustoactuallyharmus 29
Societyisnowcreatedinaway
28 29 30
drcarolinebuzanko.com11 Adolescence •Social •Whatothers think •Family gettingsick •School performance •World events •Afterhigh school!!!! PreAdolescence •Homealone •Familyor pets •Rejection •Mortality, health Elementary •Changes •Performance •Gettingsick orhurt •Animals, monsters, ghosts •Natural disasters Early Childhood •Fearofdeath orghosts •Separation •Dark •Gettinglost •Thunder Preschool •Animals, dark, thunder,fire •Nightmares •Monsters& shadows •Novelty Infant/ Toddlers •Separation •Novelty •Loudnoises •Shyness,fear ofstrangers •Santa Worriestobeexpected Worriestobeexpected 32 TEMPORARYDONOTINTERFEREWITH FUNCTIONING STUDENTSSTILLSUCCESSFUL INACHIEVINGGOALS 33 BEGINNINGMIDDLEEND 31 32 33
Anxiety Disorder
Significantinterference(home,school, social);anxietystartstomakedecisions
Significantdistressthatismorefrequent andmoreextremethanthatofpeers
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Anxietymakesthedemandsfeelwaybiggerthanwhatthey believetheycanmanage. 34 35 36
It’sallinhowwerespond Basedonhowweperceivethedemandsofthesituation.
34 35 36
drcarolinebuzanko.com13 37 Excessiveanxiety& distress •Stomachorhead aches •Lotsofreassurance seeking •Avoiding school/crying Mondaymornings •Lashingout •Sleepdisturbances Disruption •Poorschool performance •Sociallyisolated •Notmakingfriends •Avoidtryingnew things •Schoolrefusal •Nocarefreeand playfulchildhood! AmygdalaBasedMemories Emotionalmemories •Outofawareness •Rememberedvery differentlyfrom ourconscious memories 39 37 38 39
drcarolinebuzanko.com14 Cortex Based Stress Ruminate&try tosolvethe problem Visualimages &imaginative worries Thebraincannottellthe differencebetweenwhatit actuallyseesandwhatitimagines 42 40 41 42
drcarolinebuzanko.com15 43 Expectingsomethingbadtohappen Kidscontinuetoworrythemselves withtheirownthoughts Schemas Emotionsvs.Feelings Differentaspectsofinternalexperiences 45 43 44 45
HowAnxietyManifests: Affect
•Frequentdoctorvisits
•Releasedhormones
•Increaseheartrate
•Increasebloodpressure
•Increaseenergy
•Increasealertness
•Slowsotherprocesses(tofightor runaway)
•Secretesacidintothestomachto emptyit
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•Emotion •Physicalsymptoms •Sensitivitytosymptoms
46
•Poorschoolattendance
Physical Symptoms areaProblem 46 47 48
Theystarttoworryabout thephysicalfeelings,which aredistressing,andjust wantthemtostop!
Wegetreactive! Misinterpretasdangerousandleadsto morefear,moresensations…
•
HowAnxietyManifests: Thoughts
•
•
•
•
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50 Thisis normal!!! AndNOT dangerous!
Unrealistic,extreme
Whatif’s…
Everyoneisgoingtolaugh
Theworldisdangerous
Catastrophicthinking 51 49 50 51
HowAnxietyManifests: Thoughts
Brainbuiltforsurvival–itsjobis NOTtobehappy
•Negativitybias(primedtosee non-existentdanger)
•Uncertaintymisinterpreted
•Seeeventsasthreats
•Becomesingrained
HowAnxietyManifests: Behaviours
ThoughtsLeadtoPatternsof Behaviours
Basedonthebeliefofhowtheycan manage
Ican’thandleit!
•Believetheyareincompetent
•Dependencybehaviours
•Seekingreassurance
•Seekingassistance
•Repetitivequestions
•Prepareunnecessarily
•
•
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Clingy
Co-sleeping,callhome 54 52 53 54
•Easilytriggered
•Disrespectful Oppositionalanddefiant
•Difficultytransitioning
Aggression/intimidation
•Difficultiesconcentrating
•Liesorsteals Temperoutbursts
•Restless/fidgety Interrupts/Intrudes
•Impulsive
•Giveupeasily
•Argumentative
•Yell
•Repetitivequestions
•Seekconstantapproval
Behaviours:Internalizing
•Withdrawn/isolated
•Shy
•Sad/irritable
•Head/stomach-aches
•Eatingissues(under-orover-eating;food intolerances)
•Sleepproblems/Fatigue
•Lowself-esteemandconfidence
•Rejection
•Repetitivebehaviours/obsession
•Difficultiesconcentrating,fidgety
•Avoidance
•Disorganized
•Cry
Exposedtosomesituationthat threateneddeath,seriousinjury,or sexualviolence
•Directlyexperienced
•Sawithappeningtosomeoneelse
•Heardaboutithappeningtosomeonethey love
Howpeoplerespondisimportant
•Noteveryonetraumatized
•Mostpeoplerecoverwithoutlong-term impairments
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Behaviours: Externalizing
56
Substanceuse Trauma
57
55 56 57
Traumavs. Anxiety
Everyoneisunique!But:
•Hastherebeenatraumatic event?
•Lifethreatening?
•Feltlifethreatening?
•Neglect
•Chronicemotional/verbal abuse
58
Traumavs.Anxiety
Trauma
Reactionofsomethinginthepast
Recurringruminationofpastevents
•Potentiallossofawarenessofthenow
•Groundhogday
Samephysiologicaltraumareaction triggered
Changeinworldview
•Lossoftrust
•Lossofloveforlife
•Viewselfmorenegatively
Anxiety
Anticipatingsomethingbadhappening inthefuture
Ruminationofwhat’stocome
•Thoughtscomeoneafteranother
Physiologicalsymptomsmayappear
•Notthesameasthetraumaticreaction
Trauma&Anxiety
•Anxiouspeopleatgreaterriskfor traumaticreactions
•Anxietycantriggeratraumaticevent
•Publicpanicattackandfeelinglike you’regoingtodiewitheveryone watchingyou
•Scaredaboutfuturepanicattackscan triggerpanicdisorder
•Anxietyandtraumacanreinforceeach
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other 60 58 59 60
Fight-flightanautomaticprocessdeep inthebrainstem
•Brainstemhasadirectconnectiontothe backofoureye
•Reacttothingsoutofourawareness
•Alwaysactivated–quickresponse!
•Everythingfeelsthreatening
•Hyperalertforeverything
•Can’ttellwhat’simportant
•Can’ttellwhatishappeningnow vs.inthepast
•Overwhelmed–thebrainandmind can’tprocesswhat’sgoingon
Freeze&Shutdown
•Parasympatheticsystemactivates
•Musclesfreeze
•Gazemayfreeze
•Breathmayfreeze
•Mayshutdowncompletely(enterano painstate)
•Unawareofwhat'shappeninginternallyor externally
•Can’tprocess
•Rumination Shame
•Self-blame
•Disconnectbetweenthepastandpresent
Trauma
•Adrenalineputsamygdalainto hyperdrive
•Laysdownbigemotional memories
•Cortisolshutsdownour hippocampus
•Memoriesarenotproperly integratedandbecome traumaticmemories
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63 61 62 63
TraumaAffectsDifferentTypesofMemories
TraumaAffectsDifferentTypesofMemories
drcarolinebuzanko.com22 Nervoussystem Emotional brain Thinking brain Trauma Sensorysystemoverwhelmed &cannotintegrateallthe information
SemanticMemory •Knowledge&facts EpisodicMemory •Memoryofanevent, who,what,where •Canbetriggeredby senses EmotionalMemory •Memoryofemotions feltinthesituation •Emotionspopupout oftheblue Procedural Memory •Howtoperforma tasksubconsciously 65 ExplicitMemoryImplicitMemory
SemanticMemory •Preventinformationto combine EpisodicMemory •Shutdown&fragment sequence EmotionalMemory •Triggeredwithout context ProceduralMemory •Tenseormove differently unconsciously 66 ExplicitMemoryImplicitMemory 64 65 66
Flashbacks keepusstuck
Sustainstheoriginal traumaticmemory
Trauma&Context
Thenervoussystem andbodycan’ttellthe difference–feelsthe sameastheoriginal trauma
Unintegrated traumaticmemories triggerthesurvival response
67
BrainShortcuts: Importanceof Context
•Turkeymothers
•Goodmothers
•Allmotheringis triggeredby“cheepcheep”
•Smell,touch, appearanceminor roles
68
Reminds meof…•Integratedcontext
Flashback
•Unintegratedcontext
•Samesensations& emotionsasoriginal trauma
•Bodycan’ttellthe difference
69
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drcarolinebuzanko.com24 How trauma showsup Intrusive thoughts Nightmare,or flashbacks Hyperarousal Unpredictable moodswings Negative outlooks InattentivenessHopelessness Impulsiveness Sleepproblems Avoidance& withdrawal Behavioural outbursts 70 Everyoneispredisposedto anxiety. OurKidsare Stressed 72 70 71 72
CompoundingInternal&ExternalStressors
•Shoulds School
•Teachers •Coursedemands&performance
•Demandsandexpectations
•Familystressors Parents
Peerpressures
•Ownstress&fighting
•Tryingtofitin
•Substanceuse
•Relationships
•Notimeforplay,creativity,orrelaxation
Lack•Notimetolearntocope ofdowntime
Development
Uniquepersonal stressors
•Navigatingstrongemotions
•Buildingidentity
•Makinglifedecisions
•Health
•SensorySensitivities
ChildrenandTeens’MentalHealth
DisruptedroutinesLackofaccessto resources Lackofsocial support LackofstructureInconsistent schedules
Poorlydefined rulesand expectations
Limitedlearning opportunities(and opportunitiesto makemistakes!) Lackofstimulation Inabilitytoexpress themselves effectively
FamilyconflictLackofmeaningfulsocialinteractionsFewerrewards
Lackof understanding& magicalthinking
Farmore:
•Depression
•Self-harm
•Suicide
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Current Stateof theworld Social disconnection andloneliness Identityand bodyIssues Multiple pressuresand high expectations
Socialmedia Localandworld news
WorthlessnessHelplessness
73 74 75
Noexceptions:
•
•
•
Pressureand expectations
drcarolinebuzanko.com26 Screen time Loneliness Depression Withdrawal Anxiety SuicidalSuicidalideation planning Disorderedeating Self-esteem PoorSchool performance
ALLscreentimeislinkedtolesshappiness.
Morescreentime=
Schoolstruggles
•
•
Loneliness
Depression
Suicidalthinking
76 77 78
drcarolinebuzanko.com27 Self-esteem Falsemessagestoavoid rejection •Sohappy! •Sobeautiful! “Likes”worsensself-esteem •Otherswon’tlikethe “real”them. Perfection Schoolachievement Appearance Happiness Perfection Masculinitynorms Expectationstosucceed Limitedopportunitiesto expressemotions Limitedmeaningfulmale friendships 79 80 81
drcarolinebuzanko.com28 EffortlesslyPerfect Overachieve academically Highexpectations inallareasoflife Expectationsto behappy Effortlessly Perfect 1--------------------------------------------------------------------------10 MythofHappiness 82 83 84
Technostress
•Hardtodetach=chronicstress
•Don’treceiveanimmediatereplytoatext=anxietyandisolation
•Technology-relatedanxiety(e.g.,pressuretorespond immediately)
•Shame&stigmaifnotconnected
•Validationthroughsocialmedia
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85 Associal media time Increases Perceived exclusion andsocial Isolation also increases FOMO SocialDevelopment& SocialHealth Fomo Makeseverythingelseless Important Becomesopreoccupiedwithwhatis happeningonlinevs.inthemomentAtthecostofrealinteractions Feelingevenmore isolated 85 86 87
Massive-Scale Emotional contagion
Webegintoexperiencethe sameemotionsasothers withoutourawareness
•Long-lastingmoods(e.g., depression)canbe transferredthroughsocial networks
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Mostimportantrelationshipfor bondingandoveralldevelopment Discovering: Self Values •Personality •World FamilyConnection Nolonger turningto parentsto debriefdayand hurts Screensarereplacing parentsanddisrupting familydevelopment 88 89 90
Breakingthecyclethatfuelsanxiety
drcarolinebuzanko.com31 DigitalImmigrants vs.DigitalNatives Noissuebigenoughtoriskbeing disconnected 91 Bullyingdoesn’t happenprivately anymore Sendingunsolicitedand/orthreateninge-mail. Encouragingotherstosende-mailortooverwhelm thevictim Posting/spreadingrumours. Makingdefamatorycommentsonline Sendingnegativemessages Sexualremarks Postingthevictim’spersonalinformation Hatespeech Impersonatingthevictimonline Harassingthevictim Leavingabusivemessagesonline,includingsocial mediasites Sendingthevictimpornographyorothergraphic materialthatisknowinglyoffensive Creatingonlinecontentthatdepictsthevictimin negativeways Trolling Cyberstalking Hateraids 92
91 92 93
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intheworld
*Impairshealthyindependence *Inhibitsresilience *Disruptstheiremotionregulation *Worsensanxiety *Contributestoemotionalexhaustion *Canleadtoaggressivebehaviour *Increasesriskofsubstanceabuse andriskybehaviors AND,goesagainsthowthebrainandbodywork,weneedtolearntounderstand thesesignals! 96 94 95 96
AdultTraps Thisalonecanmakeallthedifference
There’snocryinginbaseball!
drcarolinebuzanko.com33 Kidslearnanxious behavioursfrom adultsintheirlives 97 Saying “Don’t worry” doesn’t work 98 Getstuckinconstant needforreassurance Noskillsdeveloped Minimizing Braininhighstress state=amygdalakicks inandbecomesastop signforInformation andanyrational thinking 99 97 98 99
drcarolinebuzanko.com34 Anxiety… •Wantscertainty •Wantspredictability •Wantscomfort Problem#984with technology: Ittakesuncertaintyaway 101 102 Whereareyougoing?Whattime? What’stheweatherlike?Takeyourjacket,justincase. Remembertolookbothwayswhenyoucrossthestreet. Gostraightthere. Don’ttalktoanyone. Rememberyourmanners!Saypleaseandthankyou. Benice.Getalong.Followhisideas,ok. Remember,you’retheguest,solethimbetheleader. Whoelsewillbethere?
Canyouaskhismomtocallmewhenyougetthere? 100 101 102
Beagoodfriend.Includeeveryone. Hismomwillbethere?Whatabouthisdad? Makesureyoukeepyourmouthclosedwhenyouchew. KeepyourelbowsoffthetableIfyouhaveasnack. Don’thaveanysuckersthough,ok. MakesureyoucallmewhenyouleavesoIknow. Makesureyoulookwhenyoucrossthestreetcominghome.
drcarolinebuzanko.com35 Mayaswellfigureouthowtonavigatethem 103 104 Protect Deflectfailure Smoothpathahead 105 Entitlement •Everythingcomeseasily •Everythingalwaysworksout •Expecteveryrewardthereis Poorcoping •Noopportunitiestomanage stress •Avoid •Anxiety 103 104 105
drcarolinebuzanko.com36 AccommodationBehaviours Participation •Assistinchecking behaviours •Assistinavoidance •Reassure Modification •Preventanxiety provoking situations 106 Accommodations worsensanxiety long-term 107 Anxietymoreimpairingandsevere withpoorertreatmentoutcomes Whatareyoudoingforthechildorteen thatyouwouldn’tbedoingifnotfor anxiety? 106 107 108
drcarolinebuzanko.com37 Speakingforthe student Allowingstudents tobeexcused Ensuring predictabilityAvoidingoutings Sittingoutof anxietyprovoking situations(e.g., gym) Onlyhavingone substitute Participatingin rituals Notthrowingaway unnecessaryitems NotopeningwindowsRigidroutines Seeingschool nurseunnecessarilyLeavinglightsonChecking homework Accompanyingthe childtocertain partsoftheschool Distraction AdjustingroutinesAlternateplaceforlunchFixedschedulesPre-warningsandTransitionwarningsStressballs Accommodationsarereactive.Theytakeawaykids’ abilitytoself-sootheandproblemsolve. 110 Avoidanxietysituations Adjustingroutines Allowthemtobeexcused;slow-re-entry Distractthemorstopthoughts Alternativeplaceforlunch Fixedschedulesandtransitionwarning Stressballs Minimizeanxiousfeelings Considerstudents’IPP’s 111 Doesitaccommodateanxiety? Areskillsbeingtaught? Isthereatransitionplan? Doestheplanaddressphysicalsymptoms? 109 110 111
•Nopick-upplan
•Alternativestophonecallshome
•Nameofworry
•Sameresponses
•Parentcoaching(e.g.,howtorespondtotexts/calls)
•Stipulationsabouthome-schoolcommunication
drcarolinebuzanko.com38 Considerstudents’IPP’s 112 Doesitusespecificlanguage?
Doesitdocumenthowtomaintaincontact betweenhomeandschool?
Ensureskills-basedgoals(vs.avoidancebased)
Doesitpreventanxietyshowingup? Howdobreaks/officevisitshelp?
•Ifleaves,plansforquickreturn
SkillsINtheclass
Consistentlanguage withhome
•Weaningoffplans Detailedand specific 113 AccommodationsBecomeSafetyBehaviours! (Usedtoattempttominimizeorpreventsomethingbadfromhappening) Avoidance Excessivechecking Seekingreassurance Rituals Safetyaids 114 112 113 114
•Everyone’sroleandresponse •Minimalreactions–anxietyissoannoying
drcarolinebuzanko.com39 115 Watchout for dependency traps Avoidtraps •Adultsjumpinginharmskids: •Changesbraindevelopment&ingrainsanxiety •Makeskidsvulnerable:Confidenceandresiliencestunted Noopportunitiestoexperiencemanageableamountsofstress •Noopportunitiestoseethatwhattheyfearisnotdangerous 115 116 117
drcarolinebuzanko.com40 The#1 thingthey needto learn? 119 Howtheymanagethe experienceofanxietyis relatedtoanxietydisorder Nottheactualtrigger 120 118 119 120
drcarolinebuzanko.com41 Connect Adult perceptions Worries&Stressarecontagious 121 122 123
Optimal
drcarolinebuzanko.com42
functioning through co-regulation BeagoodRoleModel: Nooneisimmune Displayvulnerability&copeoutloud •Empowering •Promotesbravery,confidence,& resilience BeagoodRole Model •Beingscared&doingit anyway •Modeleffectivecoping •Seekandreceivehelp •Recognizeownunhelpful thoughtsandbehaviours 124 125 126
ODDvs.Anxiety?
drcarolinebuzanko.com43 Self-fulfillingprophecy Expectations 127
” 128
“Themomentyoudoubtwhetheryoucan fly,youceaseforevertobeabletodoit.
~J.M.Barrie,PeterPan
127 128 129
drcarolinebuzanko.com44 Nosuch thingas badkids. EmotionsLeadtoBehaviouralresponses Assert, Angerdefend ShameAvoid Flee, Fearfreeze Support, Sadnesswithdrawal Connect, Joyengage Attend, explore Excitement FunctionofEmotions 132 Disappointment Hurt Fear 130 131 132
drcarolinebuzanko.com45 FunctionofEmotions 133 Anger Disappointed Sad Hurt WorriedEmbarrassed Guilty Lonely Manyhave worriesabout abandonment. Rejection WorthinessAbandonment Unlovable FailureNotbeingvalued 133 134 135
Core emotional pain
Shame-based experiences
Lonelinessbased experiences SADNESS
BehaviouralStoriesNeeds patterns Responses (internal/external situations)
Rejection,judgement, humiliation,negative self-treatment
Hide, disappear, shrinkaway, actout
Grieveoract out Isolation,lossof connection/lovedone
Fear-basedFear,lackofcontrol experiences
Iamflawed, worthless, don’tdeserve goodthings
Iamonmy own,lonely
EscapeNotsafe oract out
Considerproblem behavioursrelatedto
trauma
•Predictableoutcome:safetyfor thenervoussystem
•Gettingcloseisuncomfortable–easiertodisrupttherelationship (becausetheyarescaryand painful)
•Distractsfromuncomfortable feelings
•
Behaviour!
Freeze,distracted, non-compliant, explosive
Anxiety, self-doubt &criticism
Tobevalued,appreciated, recognized,accepted, validated
Closeness,support,love, connection,caredfor, inclusion
Safety,stability,protection, control,personalstrength
Assigned task Challenged (perceived orreal)
138
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Lessvulnerable 137
Reprimanded
136 137 138
andstrengthens worries
drcarolinebuzanko.com47 Consider feedbackloops Fail&Avoid Fail&Avoid FailFail&Avoid &Avoid Fail&Avoid 140 FBA Skilldeficit Teachskills SocialComm.Emotion regulation Rewarding Attention, task avoidance, stimulation Skilldeficit! Teachhowto getneedsmet Nobadkids!!!Whataretheydefending? Iftheyaren’t experiencingsuccess withmanaging anxietyand managing challenges,they becomeevenmore vulnerable Success Success SuccessSuccess Success 139 140 141
Relationship
Protectorfrom:
Violentbehaviour
Schoolfailure
Schooldropout
Substanceabuse
Depression
Suicidalideation
Unwantedpregnancy
Long-termhappiness
•Findawayin
•Createstrengths-based opportunities
•Acknowledgeadaptive behaviours
•Collaborate
•Nonjudgmentalstance
•Showstatusandrespect
•Validate
•Avoidpowerstruggles
•Teach!
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drcarolinebuzanko.com49 Relationship:Howdoyoushowup? Onesmallchangeinyourinteractionscanbeagamechanger. Droppingout Student alienation • Relationship with teacher Values Discovery Activity Identifyteachingorparentingvalues Goalsforteachingorparenting Hopesforstudents’orchild’sfutures Professional/PersonalMissionStatement 145 146 147
drcarolinebuzanko.com50 Youhavelessthan 6minutes 148 •Kidsneedtofeellikedand respected •WhatcanyouDOtostrengthen yourrelationshipeveryday? Multipleadultsathome,school,andcommunitypartoftheirfanclub Safe,nurturingrelationships… Bullied Mr.A Mrs. B Ms. D MathMs. W Writing Mr.A Mrs. D 148 149 150
Safe,nurturing relationships
•Senseofcontrol
•Senseofbelonging
•Lunchbuddies
•Anycueofsimilarity
•Colouredshirtsorwristbands, birthdays,classshirts,team jerseys
•Websofconnections,peer mentoring
Safe,nurturing relationships…
•Senseofcontribution
•Collaborativetests.
•Brainstormideasinsmallgroups howtosupportpeers/otherclasses
•Acknowledgepeerandteacher birthdays
•Evaluateprogramsandactivities
•Writtensurveysandfocusgroups
•Brainstormideasforimprovement
Reciprocityring
Easiertoaskforhelp–everyoneis!
Initiatehelpingothersontheirown
Promotesgenerosity
Promotescontribution
Createsconnection
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151 152 153
drcarolinebuzanko.com52 155 Emotion Coach 154 155 156
drcarolinebuzanko.com53 Usemirrorneurons Braincan’ttellthedifference 157 Showconfidence =FEEL confidence Emotioncoach Coachesdonotreassure–avoidtraps: •Answeringquestions •Reviewingtheschedule •Answeringeveryphonecallortext message •Checkingthings •Reassuring 157 158 159
Emotioncoach
Coachesvalidate&thenask open-endedquestions.
•Whatareyougoingtodo?
•Howareyougoingtofigure thatout?
EffectiveResponse
CoachingCues
•Showconfidencethattheycanfigureit out
•Collaborateideasre:howtheycan figureitout
•Helpthemmakepredictions
•Ipredict…(e.g.,Iwillfeel8/10proud whenIamdone.).
•Focusonlearning
•Howdidyoudo?
•Whatwentwell?
•Whatdidyoulearn?
•Whatwillyoudodifferentlynext time?
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160 161 162
Effective CoachingCues
Iknowyoucanfigureitout.Brainstormwith _______andmakeaplan.Lemmeknow!
Ilookforwardtohearingthepositivethingsyou willsaytoyourselfasthisgetshard.
Letsbrainstormthewaysyoucanbossbackthis innercritic.
Whatareotherwaystodealwiththisproblem insteadoffighting?
Iknowyoucanstickupforyourself.Whatare thingsyoucansaytothem?
ThepowerofIDon’tKnow
164
Whenthingsgo sideways
Todayisyourluckyday!
•Thismeansyougettotry again!Yay!
•Nowwehaveallofthis informationwecanlearn from…Nowweknowso muchmore
•Whatdidyounotice?
•Whatdidyoulearn?
•Whatneedstohappen nexttime?
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163 164 165
drcarolinebuzanko.com56 EffectiveCommunication 166 Wecannot instill motivation FixPush DisciplineDirect CommunicationStyles Director •Adultas expert Guide Follower •Studentas leader 166 167 168
Director
Focusonlack anddeficits
Pullupyour socks
Consequence
•Tooinvolved
•Cripplesresilience andmotivation
•Undermines learningand autonomy
Follower
•Noattention atall
•Passive
•Focusonstrengths
•Askopen-ended
•R+competence& confidence
•Promotesautonomy
•Promotesmotivation &engagement
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questions Guide 169 170 171
EffectiveCommunication
•Youacknowledgetheir feelings
•Youacknowledgetheir perspective
•Yourattitudeis respectfulandcaring
•Yourespecttheir autonomy
Connect
•Compassion
•Acceptance
•Collaborative
•Evocation
Notsogreat Communication
•Youignoretheirfeelings
•Youignoretheir perspective
•Yourattitudeisnot respectfulandcaring
•Youtrytolecture,teach, orfixthesituation
Withthatattitudeit’snowonderyouare failing.Icalledyouinheretotellyouto straightenupifyouwanttohaveanyhopeof passingthisclass.
Icanseethatyoutriedhard,anditisn’teasy.I wantedtocheckinandseewhatIcoulddo thatwouldbehelpful?
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Talkingwillonlyescalatetheproblem 174 172 173 174
drcarolinebuzanko.com59 Givespaceforregulation StepsofanEffectiveEmotionCoach Awareness •Oftheiremotions •Ofyourown emotions Recognize opportunity Listen •Empathy •Validate •Fullypresent •Patient Teach •Labelemotion •Expressemotion withwords Problemsolve 176 Effective Communication Tips Talklesslistenmore 175 176 177
drcarolinebuzanko.com60 Effective Emotion Coaches Focusonconnection&safety •Empathy&Physicalsafety •Validate&acknowledge •Howtheyarefeeling •Howtheyperceivethesituation
Bepresentwiththesituationyourself
Beingpresentisbetterthanwords Beprepared! LetmeseeifIgotthat.Yousaid… DidIgetit? Istheremore? Thatmakessense… Effective Communication Tips •Keepthewaterscalm!
Reducenagging&prompt dependency •Notpersonal •Thankyou! •Focusongoal 178 179 180
•
•
•
LabellingEmotions
drcarolinebuzanko.com61 Howwetalkis important Replace negativitywith curiosity Andcontrolanddemandingnesswithwarmth andresponsiveness
•Nameittotameit •Buildsconfidence •Helpscalm 183 181 182 183
LabellingEmotions
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•Model •Buildemotionvocabulary •Foresight 184 185 Dizzy Racing Tension Achy Sore Hot Cold Tingly Relaxed Trembling Numb Sharp Nausea Breathless Shivering Sweating Troubleswallowing Tired Emotioncoaches 186 Clearexpectationsabouthowadultsaretorespond(withsupport&confidence vs.reassurance) Consistentacrosscontexts Consistentacrosspeople Motivation 184 185 186
drcarolinebuzanko.com63 Warning! YouWILLgetpushbackwhenadultsstarttochange theirresponse!!! 188 Wehaveour ownunique interpretations 189 187 188 189
drcarolinebuzanko.com64 190 Traumaconsiderations Kindnessandcaringattentioncanbeproblematic Trauma considerations: Collaborate! Alwaysremembereveryone hasdifferentexperiences. Createaguideandget themtolead 190 191 192
Whatdoyouneed fromotherswhen dysregulated?
Weallneeddifferentthings whenwe’redistressed
Needto manageour ownstress, perceptions &responses sowecan provide:
Choice
Context
Connection
Choice
•Nocontrol=fight/flight
•Buildsconnection
•Choicestimulatesinnersecurity(innerwisdom)
•Empowering(wetrusttheirownexpertiseandinternalresources)
•Smallchoicesininteractions
•Choicethroughelicitingtheirinnerwisdom
•Getmeta!
•Getmindful(noticingnow)&followthat
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193 194 195
•Context
•Nervoussystemonalert
•Arewesafe?
•Isitsafetoengage?
•DoIneedtorunaway?Orshutdown?
•Connection
•Fundamentalpriority
•Physiologicallyconstantlyseekingconnection
OptimizingSelfRegulationThrough Relationship
Down-regulating “negative”emotions
•Being
•Tolerating
•Validating
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196 197 198
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Up-regulating“positive”emotions •Expandpositiveemotionalvocabulary •Focusonstrengths&positivecoping •Exceptions •What’sworking •Visualization Inspire Otherwise,you getresistance 201 199 200 201
OptimizingSelf-RegulationThroughRelationship
drcarolinebuzanko.com68 202 WhatisImportant 203 Socialgoals Makegoodchoices Tolearneffectively Havefun Externalrewards 204 202 203 204
CostBenefitAnalysis
Benefitofbeingslavetoanxiety
Peopletellmewhenthingsaregoingtochange soIamalwayscomfortableandneverstartled IcantakeabreakwheneverIwant
Easier
Morecomfortable
Won’tmakeamistake
Costofbeingslavetoanxiety
NothingisalwayspredictableandIgettooupset whensomethingunexpectedhappens Ioverreact/cry–kidsmakefunofme
Ican’tgotosleepovers
Momalwayshastocomeonfieldtrips
Can’tdoanythingonmyown
Feellikeababy
OtherkidsaregettingbetterandIamstillstuck
Allthethingsanxietymakes youavoid
•Seeingfriends
•Sleepovers
•Birthdayparties
•School
•Tryoutsforsports(and thereforesportteams)
•Sleepinginownbed
•Makingnewfriends
•ButImissoutongoingtoBF’shouse becauseshehasadogIavoiddogsbecauseImightgetbit
Iavoidputtingmyhandupinclass becauseitmightsounddumb
•ButImissoutonsayingthingsIwanttosay, especiallyreallygoodideas
•ButImissoutonhavingfunwithmyfriendsIavoidsleepoversbecauseIamworried Iwillhavetogotothebathroom
•ButIfeellikeabigbaby
Iavoidbeingalonebecausesomething mighthappen
•ButImissoutonlearningandseeingfriendsIavoidschoolbecauseImightthrowup
•ButImissoutonorderingwhatIreallywantIavoidorderingfoodbecauseImight messItup
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205 206 207
•Whytheywanttocontrol theirownlife
•Howexhaustinganxietyis
•Howlifewillbedifferent
•Whattheyaremissingouton
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210 Anxietyisnormal,temporary, ¬dangerous. Iamnotalone. Anxietyknowshowto overwhelm. BUTanxietyistotally predictableandtreatable. Withexpertise&confidence,theyremember: 208 209 210
drcarolinebuzanko.com71 Understand Anxiety& Whatit does…. •Amygdala •Sizeandshapeofanalmond •Ouralarmsystem/watchdog •Canbehelpful Whenthealarmgoesoff,thebodygetsreadytofightorrun Evenwhenitisafalsealarm! Thebrainandbodycannottellthedifferenceandwill stillgetreadytofightorrun. 211 212 213
drcarolinebuzanko.com72 214 Transient Nature: Automatic& Unpredictable Anxietyisnotinthe situationbutthefeelings wehaveandhowwe perceivethosefeelings Understandingthisconnectionmakesiteasiertoresponddifferently Feelings BehavioursThoughts 214 215 216
EmotionsAreTellingUs SomethingAboutReality (ourthoughtsmakeup conspiracies)!
•Helpwithlearning
•Guide(andmotivate)our behaviours
•Canhelpusproblemsolveand respondflexibly
EmotionsAreTellingUsSomething (justlikePhysicalPain):
Understandthetruths!
Ourbodiesareintuitiveanddesignedtoprotectus.
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Eat pooh No Disgust Get eaten No Fear Gluttonfor punishment with unattainable goals No sadness Picked on No Anger Nofuture motivation No misery (e.g., after triumph)
Itdoesn’tmakesenseifitwasdoingsomethingtoharmus. Trustittodoit’sthingandgetoutofitsway. Wedon’tneedtoaddcommentary. 219 217 218 219
drcarolinebuzanko.com74 Understand thetruths! 220 Heartscanbeathardallday longandstayhealthy Ourbodywillalways compensateforbreathing We’dbeextinctifwealways faintedindanger. •FaintinghappenswithLOW bloodpressure. •Whenanxious,lotsofblood isflowing! Tensionbuildswhenweare notdoinganythingwiththe energy •Getmoving:Shake! Forcingourselvestoswallow won’thelpusswallow •HumorsingEmotionscomeand,more importantly,theygo Stress Hormones Creative Mind Worried thoughts 221
222 220 221 222
Whenuncomfortable, EVERYONE’sbrain wantsustoquit.
drcarolinebuzanko.com75 Eventhetoughest ofthetough 223 Howyoutalkaboutitisimportant 224 Blaminggeneticscreatesthe beliefthereisnothingIcando tochangemyanxiety 225 223 224 225
drcarolinebuzanko.com76 Blaminggeneticscreatesthe beliefthereisnothingIcando tochangemyanxiety Teach:geneticexpressionand chemicalmakeupare changeable. 226 Stress&Perception High Levelsof Stress Beliefthat Stressis Bad Premature Death Stress&Perception High Levelsof Stress Nobad beliefs about stress LOWEST riskof death 226 227 228
Emotionsaresimply emotions!
drcarolinebuzanko.com77 StresspromotesDHEA, whichpromotes.Athigh levels,itpromotes: •Braingrown •Immunesystem •Resilience 229 Stresscanbe enhancing!
Wecanexperiencedifferentemotionsdespitetheexactsame circumstances. 230 Threatvs.ChallengeResponse Notgoodorbad,differentpurposes Threatresponse–Situationswearen’tequippedto handle •Rushofcortisoltodefendandprotect •Justtryingtosurvive Challengeresponse–Hardbutmanageablesituations •Moretestosteroneandadrenalinetohelpusachieve ourgoal •Opportunityforgrowth 231 229 230 231
Keysto
Stress&Worries
drcarolinebuzanko.com78 Differenthormones releasedtopreparefor what'stocome. Howdoesourbody know? 232 Dependslargelyonour evaluationofthesituation.
Values Whatis important Resilience BraingrowthProductivityPrioritization Energy Relationships
success: Selfefficacy IbelieveIcan(cognitive) Ifeelgoodabouttrying(emotions) Ihaveaplanandgoingtodomybest(behaviour) 232 233 234
Expectpositive outcomes
Howdohighschoolstudentscopesocially whentheyaretoldthatpeoplecanchange sociallyrelevanttraits?
Expectpositive outcomes:Theywill too!
Theygotoveranxiety&improvedtheir stressresponsetosocialinteractions
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235
Wecanchangeourbrain!
235 236 237
WeCanChangeOurBrain!
•Ourbrainisbuiltforustobesuccessful
•Brainnetworksfixandgrowwhenwelearn newskills
•NeuralbundlesDOUBLEwithanhourof practice
•Rewireourbrainthroughrepetitionand practice
•Whateverisnotused,thebrainprunesitself
WeGrowOurBrain
WheneverWe:
•Takeonnewchallenges
•THINKwecanlearnsomethinghard
•THINKwecanlearnfromourmistakes
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Externalize &Expose 238 239 240
drcarolinebuzanko.com81 Externalize Youarenotyourworry • (Sneakytrickstertryingtomakeyouthink thereissomethingwrongwithyou…) 242 243 241 242 243
MishmashofaBrain
Piecedtogetherovermillenia
•Someareascancommunicatedirectly, othersonlyindirectcontact Canholdcontradictinginformationin differentpartsofthebrain NooneCEO.Lotsofsubselves–differentpartsofthebraincan communicateandworktogethereasily
•Nooneparthascomplete information
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AtLeastSevenSubselves TheBestEquippedTakesover
Self-protection
Mateattraction
Materetention
Affiliation
Kincare
Socialstatus
Diseaseavoidance 245
244
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
TheBestEquippedTakesover
•Canargue&fightforcontrol AtLeastSevenSubselves
•Self-protection •Mateattraction
•Materetention
•Affiliation
•Kincare •Socialstatus
•Diseaseavoidance 246
244 245 246
drcarolinebuzanko.com83 InnerDialogue •Alotofbackandforth Integrative–workingthroughascenario •Confrontational–competingtowin •Differentpartsofthebrainactivateddependingontheself-talk •Howwetalktoourselvesinfluencesourbehaviours 247 Externalize totakecontrol 248 RigidRick All-or-nothingAl AvoidantAliso Self-CriticalCarla PermanentPete CatastrophicCam PerfectionistPete FortunetellingFran MindreadingMandy OvergeneralizingOllie OverestimatingOscar NegativeNellie ScarcitySam
Howarethey gettingintheway andwhat’sonthe otherside? 247 248 249
Externalize toInspire
Exposeit
•Remindhowanxietyworks
•Yep,there’sBob,that’swhatit does.
•Wow,itisreallyworkinghardto makemethinktheworsttoday!
•Yeah,weknewit’dshowupnow.It doesn’twantmetowritethetest.
•Itwantsmetoavoidnewthings.
•Itreallyknowshowtotrytostress peopleout. 250
Sayingitoutloudgivesus
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morepower Toexpose,andtousecopingstrategies 251 Becomingan EmotionDetective 250 251 252
drcarolinebuzanko.com85 StartswithAwareness:AnxietyTimeline SITUATIONAWARENESSOF EMOTIONS INTERPRETATION/ EVALUATION REACTION 254 Stress 90Seconds!!!! 255 StartswithAwareness Emotion Physiological Cognitive Body language Motivational (response) Subjective feeling 253 254 255
Physiological
Emotion
MisattributionError
•Mostpowerful
•Usuallyshowsupfirst
•Triggersanxietyresponsebefore weevenrealizeit
257
FeelingsSubjectto Distortion
•Wrongcontext
•Needtolearntocorrectlyinterpret ourinteroceptivesignals
•Betterabletointerpretsignals
•Canmakemoreadaptive decisions
•Boostresilience
•Betteremotionregulationand overallemotionalfunctioning
258
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256 257 258
drcarolinebuzanko.com87 FeelMorebutcan’tinterpretwhat thefeelingsmean Dowhatevertheycantogetridofthem… 259 …Orcontrolwhat theycanintheir externalworld 260 261 Shivers Increasedheartrate Weaklegs Ringingears Blurredvision Muscletension Shaking Trembling Chestpain Headaches
Blushing Changesinbreathing Stomach-ache/Nausea Relaxed Dizzy Racing Tension Achy Sore Hot Cold Tingly Numb Sharp Breathless Shivering Sweating Troubleswallowing Tired 259 260 261
Burningskin/sweating
drcarolinebuzanko.com88 Whenwelabelemotionsand ourexperiences,we •Changeourinterpretationofthem •Changehowourbodyresponds •Dampenedamygdala’sfalsealarm •Turnonprefrontalcortex •Makeadaptivedecisions •Learnthatwehavecontroloverourresponses •Iknowwhatyouare&Iknowhowtohandleyou •Avoidgettingsuckedin–it’sjustapieceof information 262 HonourAllParts •Victim •Empowered •Fighter •Defender •Runner •Hider 263 Understandhowstress showsup= Adaptivethinking Themysteryisgone 264 OfcourseIfeel uncomfortable!No wonder-myadrenal glandshavesentoutall thatyuckystuff. 262 263 264
Self-Coach
Iunderstandwhatmybodyisdoing
Icanhandlewhatmybodydoes
Icanhandlediscomfort
IknowIcanbreathetomakemy brainandbodycalmdown
Expectingphysicalsensationshelps reducesignalstoamygdala
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Validate& Normalize Feelings
Nowonder-youradrenalglands havesentoutallthatyuckystuff. Emotion Cognitive 265 266 267
Thatmakessense!
MomandDadare late–theymust havediedinacar accident.
…Whatit soundslike…
Triggers
•Worriesaboutapanicattack
•Worriesaboutbeing embarrassed
•Worriesaboutsomething happening
•Worriesaboutfacingsomething scary
•Worriesofhavingbadthoughts
Intensifiers
•Contextvariables
•Who
•What
•Where
•When
drcarolinebuzanko.com90 268
StartswithAwareness Writeitout 268 269 270
drcarolinebuzanko.com91 Raising Awarenessto Thoughts (RAT) FASTFORWARD ANDREWIND MOVIETHEATRENOTICETRICKSTER STORIES MOVIES/VIDEOSMODEL 272 Emotion Body language WhatitlookslikeOurbodycommunicateshowwearefeeling •HowwouldothersknowwhenIamfeeling anxiousbylookingatme? 271 272 273
drcarolinebuzanko.com92 PowerPose Emotion Motivational (response) EmotionsAreTellingUsSomethingAboutReality (ourthoughtsmakeupconspiracies)! Assert, Angerdefend ShameAvoid Flee, Fearfreeze Support, Sadnesswithdrawal Connect, Joyengage Attend, explore Excitement 274 275 276
Motivationof Emotions: OurReactions
Whatdowefocuson?
•Dowemovetowardsorawayfromwhatis upsettingus?
Whatdowedo?
•Loudorquiet?
•Bigorsmall?
•Fightorrunaway?
Thoughtsleadto(avoidant)behaviours
People•Iavoidputtingmyhandupinclass willthinkyouare stupid
•IavoidgoingtomyBF’sbecauseshehasa dogDogswillbiteyourfaceoff
Everything•IavoidanythingIcan’tdoperfectly hastobedone perfectly •Ihaveabigtantrumtoavoidgoingout
WhatamIavoidingbecauseofworries?
IavoiddogsbecauseImightgetbit
IavoidsleepoversbecauseImighthavetogotothebathroomin themiddleofthenightandfalldown
Iavoidbeingalonebecausesomethingmighthappen
IavoidorderingfoodbecauseImightmessitup
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accident •IavoidgoingtoschoolIamgoingtothrowupat school 278
Youaregoingtobeinacar
277 278 279
Peoplewillthinkyouarealoser-KickedBobbywhenIlostthegame
Youaregoingtofail-Screamedatmomwhenshemademegotoschool
It’sgoingtopainful-PunchedaholeinthewallwhenIhadtogotothedentist
Theplaneisgoingtocrash-Hidmysuitcasewhenwehadtogototheairport
Nobodylikesyou-Leftthesleepoverwhenmyfriendteasedme
Yourhaircutisterrible-Yelledatmyfriendstogoawaywhentheysaidhi
Yourfriendsfoundnewfriends-Sworeatmyfriendwhenhedidn’ttextmeback
Motivationof Emotions: OurReactions
Intensity&durationofanxiety&the Importanceofthesituation
•Wastheanxietyhelpful?
•Whydiditlastaslongasitdid?
•Whywasitasintenseasitwas?
•Whatfueledit?
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281
Whatotherbehavioursshowup?
Emotion Subjective feeling
280 281 282
drcarolinebuzanko.com95 Withawareness… 283 Childrencan respond differently 284 285 StartswithAwareness: Practice–willsupportinterventions! Emotion Physiological Cognitive Body language Motivational (response) Subjective feeling 283 284 285
drcarolinebuzanko.com96 StartswithAwareness:Practice! HowamIresponding? Situation?WhatamIfeeling? Recognizing Anxiety 287 288 CoolandCalm (Igotthis) Startingtofeelnervous (ButIthinkIgotit) Really,ReallyNervous (Ack!Help!) ReallyNervous (NotsurehowIamgoingtodo) Panic!Terror! (Iamouttahere) Feelslike Can’tbreathe Sweating Vomiting Nausea Shortbreathes Poundingchest Quickbreathes Clammyhands Muscletensionandheadache Quickerheartbeat Necktension Restless Relaxedmuscles. Deepbreathing. Slowheartbeat 286 287 288
drcarolinebuzanko.com97 289 CoolandCalm (Igotthis) Startingtofeelnervous (ButIthinkIgotit) Really,ReallyNervous (Ack!Help!) ReallyNervous (NotsurehowIamgoingtodo) Panic!Terror! (Iamouttahere) SoundsLookslike likeFeelslike Youare goingtofail thistest! You’regoing toflunkout ofschool Youwon’tbe abletogeta job Youare goingtobe kickedout Youare goingtobe homeless Youare goingtogo tojail StreamofChatter Oncethereis awareness when/howit showsupwe validateand moveto: Confidenceintheirability tohandleworry(the unexpected) •Versusofferingcertainty andcomfort •Versushelpingthem learntoavoidtheworld topreventworry •Versusexpandingtheir answerbank 291 289 290 291
drcarolinebuzanko.com98 Whatanxietyis&whatitdoes…. •Can’tturnthealarmoff •Wecan’tgetridofworry •Wecan’tgetridofthefeelings •Thediscomfortwillstillbethere BUTweCAN •Takecontrolandact •Bereadyforworrywhenitshowsup •Stretchourselvesanddotheoppositefromwhat worryexpects Curiosityis thekey responseto anxiety& trauma 293 Curiouskidshavenervous systemsthatself-regulates Feelsafetoexplore Anxietyandtraumafocusonsurvival–notimetobecurious 292 293 294
drcarolinebuzanko.com99 Mindfulness Buildawareness&toleranceof: •Whatishappeninginthebody •Whatishappeninginourmind •Whatishappeningintheworldaroundus •Howalloftheserelatestoeachother,andtoourbehavioursandinteractions withothers 295 Accept& Unwind 50,000+ Thoughtsa Day 297 295 296 297
drcarolinebuzanko.com100 298 Emotionsaresimply emotions! Wecanexperiencedifferentemotionsdespitetheexactsame circumstances. Howweinterpretthemcausessuffering. Theywilltakeoverifwearen’tself-awareinthemoment. Usethemasalearningopportunity,getcurious! 299 Mindfulness 300 NOTABOUTRELAXINGNOTABOUT CHANGINGTHOUGHTS NOTABOUTFIGHTINGOR IGNORINGTHEM 298 299 300
drcarolinebuzanko.com101 Mindfulness 301 IT’SABOUTLEANINGINTOTHEM& GIVINGTHEMSPACE 01000100 AnxietyDialAcceptanceDial Acceptance Welcominganxietyandallitbrings. Andlivinglifeanyway. 301 302 303
drcarolinebuzanko.com102 Whatareour3options? 305 WhattoAcceptOutofmycontrol •Acknowledge •Identifythelearning opportunities •Focusonsomethingelse WhattoAccept MemoriesImagesBodilySensations EmotionsThoughtsAutomatic responses 304 305 306
drcarolinebuzanko.com103 Acceptance Livinglifeevenwithanxietystillthere Changeourresponse DoIhave control?CanI reducethe causeof stress? Yes/Maybe Stay.Problem solve&dowhat needstobe done Leave No Acceptwhat cannotbe changedand keeponwithlife Buildgratitude Focuson supports Lifestylechanges Staystuckandbe slavetothoughts andfeelings 307 308 309
drcarolinebuzanko.com104 Successatcontrollingobsessions 110 Effortintryingtocontrolobsessions 110 Back&forthbattlewhereobsessionstypicallyalwayswin… Lookatthoughts,notfromthem 310 311 312
drcarolinebuzanko.com105 Defusion •Noticing thoughtsvs. getting caughtin thoughts Past Present Future 315 313 314 315
drcarolinebuzanko.com106
Focusonthephysicalsensations Stressisinevitablesoneedtolearntogowith theflow&acceptwhatwecan’tchange •Practicegettinguncomfortableonpurpose! •Bepresentwithanyunpleasant feelings,physicalsensations,or thoughts FocusonPhysical Sensations Bewithit •Observeitvs.thinkaboutit •Breatheintoit •Expandit •Allowittobethere Sensationsmightchangebut theymightnot.Itdoesn’t matter! 317 Sitwith,accept,&acknowledgeworries Focusonraisingawarenesstothoughts Recognizing them Acknowledging them Disentangling fromthem Accepting them vs.tryingtochangethoughts 316 317 318
Acceptance:Practice!
drcarolinebuzanko.com107 Detach& Enhance Emotionsaresimply emotions! Wecanexperiencedifferentemotionsdespitetheexactsame circumstances. Howweinterpretthemcausessuffering. Theyaremessengers,NOTdictators:Needtosee throughtheemotionaltrickery. 320 Ourthoughtsare nottrustworthy! 319 320 321
RightBrain
drcarolinebuzanko.com108 Remember! •Rightbraincontributes tovisualimages •Mightnothavewords •Talkingwillnothelp •Relationshipiskey
323 MusicCreating Nourishing activitiesReminisce Remember! •Leftbraincontributesto stressedthoughtsand interpretationsofevents& sensoryinformation •Survivalofthebusiest–ruminationgetsstronger 322 323 324
drcarolinebuzanko.com109 Illusionoffear 325 (andallthataccompaniesit)
Mechanicsofvision:Theeyeis likeacamera •Lightbouncesoffobjects •Entersoureyes •Focusedontheretinabythe lens •Retinalimage(2-D)senttothe braintointerpretthe information 326 TerminatorFallacy Howdoweseeandexperiencetheworldin3-D? 327 325 326 327
JustforFun…
drcarolinebuzanko.com110 Surprise! •Informationfromoureyesand earsonlylooselyconnectedto whatweexperience •Fragmented •Ambiguous •Lotsofefforttochangethem into3-D 328 328 329 330
drcarolinebuzanko.com111 Samevisualinformation. Thelightenteringis identical. Noknowledgetodrawfrom experiencetomakethe sensorydatameaningful. Whatwouldothersee? 332 Thefirstdraft 333 331 332 333
drcarolinebuzanko.com112 ANTS Scratchatthe door Burglar Ghost Monster Kidnapper Thefirstdraft 335 Wrong99% ofthetime ANTS Scratchatthe door Sister Dog Something fellinthehall Mom 334 335 336
drcarolinebuzanko.com113 Ourbodyisgoingtorespondbasedonitsbestguess 337 Ourbraindoesn’tcare ifitshazardousornot •Ourbrainwillrespond basedonwhatweneed tosurvive 338 Brainpredictshowtaxing somethingwillbe&ifwehave thecapacitytohandleit •Easiertoquitnowthatfindout,evenif it’sthewrongdecision •Ifweignoreit,wemisstheopportunity tounderstandourtruecapacity •Discomfortistemporary–quittingis forever 339 337 338 339
Theseareonly guesses!!!!
(Basedonunhelpful trickster assumptions)
Leadstospiralling Laughed at No friendsFailHomeless
Acknowledge &Detach!
•Yep,that’syourstoryyou’re tryingtotell.
•Nicefirstdraft.Niceconspiracy.
•Thisisnormal.
•Thisisnotanemergency.
•You’reannoying.
•Iamlearning.
342
drcarolinebuzanko.com114 •Believesomethingbadisforsuregoingtohappen Overestimate •Believeyouknowwhatisgoingtohappen Fortunetelling •Believeoneexperienceisalwaysgoingtohappenagain Overgeneralize •Believeyouknowwhatothersarethinking. Mindreading •Focusonlyonnegativewhilemissingpositives Negativityblind •Mustknow,needstobemyway,yeahbut Rigid •Never,always,nomatterwhat,nothingcanchange All-or-nothing •Ican’tunless…,don’twantto,amsick Avoidant •Iwillalwaysbelikethis. Permanent •Worsecasescenario Catastrophic
340 341 342
drcarolinebuzanko.com115 TheProblem withLanguage Onceupona____________________ There’snoplacelike______________ Blondeshavemore_______________ •Theworstthingaboutmeis •IamsoanxiousIthinkIwilljust 343 344 345
drcarolinebuzanko.com116 Whatwesayaffects ourthoughtsAND changesthe structureofour brains Wecantell ourselveswecan’t or…? Ican’t… Yet Whatif… Ilook forward to… Createspace Whenwearetooclose,wegetdrawnintotheemotionsoftheexperienceand spiraltotheeasywayout. Whenwecancreatespace,wecanrespondinhelpfulways 346 347 348
Detachfrom&Demotethoughts Distancing
•“InoticeI’mhavingthethoughtthat….” •Usethirdpersonlanguage Train,balloons,bubblesclouds,orleavesontheriver Thankthem
Detach&Demote WaroftheWorlds Objectify
•Whatcolour?Howbig?Whatshape?What texture?Howwoulditmoveifitcould?
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Pop-ups NamethatStory Makefunof worriedthoughts Singit Drawcartoons Muteit Sayitreallyfast Sayitinslowmotion Mimicit 351 349 350 351
drcarolinebuzanko.com118 DismissWorriedThoughts 352 DismissWorriedThoughts RollmyeyesYou’reso boring! BigdealSowhat? Demandmorefromworriedthoughts Isthatallyou got? Isthatthebest youcancome upwith? Don’tyouhave something scarier? Can’tyougive memore? JumbledLetters 353 Enhance: CriticalThinking Worrywantsustothinkthevery worst.Therefore,needtobuild awarenessandcriticalthinkingto: •Getunstuckfromrumination •Differentiatehelpfulvs.unhelpful partsofworry •Decidewhethertheyshouldbuy intoit 352 353 354
Thought:Aw.He’sso cute!
Feeling:Scared
Behaviour:Runaway
Feeling:Calm
Behaviour:Pethim
EnhanceCriticalThinking:SeparatefromtheNoise WhatshouldIbuyinto?
Helpful
Iamgoingtohaveso muchfun!
Ican’twaittoseeDanny!
Ihavetorememberto bringmyswimsuit
Enhance Critical Thinking withHelpful Questions
Unhelpful Iamgoingtothrowup(eventhoughI haven’tthrownupinoverfiveyears)
Momisgoingtoforgettopickmeup(even thoughshehasneverforgottenbefore)
Nooneisgoingtoplaywithme(even thoughmyfriendisgoingtobethere)
Allthebadthingsthatwillhappen
Isthereanyshredof usefulnessinthisthought?
Isthisanoldstory?
WhatwouldIgetforbuying intothisstory?
AmIgoingtofollowmy thoughtsormyexperience?
drcarolinebuzanko.com119 355
Dog!
Trigger:
Thought: Heisgoingtobiteme!
355 356 357
Whatwould bebad aboutthat?
WillgetlaughedatIwillcry
Theywon’tbemy friend
EveryonewillthinkI amababy
WhatamI goingtodo next?
Iwillbelonely&fail outofschool&be homeless
•Helpful: Will•Unhelpful: getlaughedat
•Helpful: I•Unhelpful:
•Helpful: Everyone•Unhelpful:
•Helpful:
drcarolinebuzanko.com120
willcry
willthinkIam ababy
They•Unhelpful: won’tbemy friend
•Unhelpful: Iwillbelonely&failout ofschool&be homeless 360 358 359 360
•Helpful:
•
Overestimate
•Believesomethingbadisforsuregoingtohappen
Fortunetelling
•Believeyouknowwhatisgoingtohappen
Overgeneralize
•Believeoneexperienceisalwaysgoingtohappenagain
•Believeyouknowwhatothersarethinking. Mindreading
•Focusonlyonnegativewhilemissingpositives Negativityblind
•Mustknow,needstobemyway,yeahbut Rigid
All-or-nothing
•Never,always,nomatterwhat,nothingcanchange
•Ican’tunless…,Idon’twantto,Iamsick Avoidant
•Iwillalwaysbelikethis. Permanent
•Worsecasescenario Catastrophic
PerfectionistPaula GetsintheWayofLife
•
•
Perfectionismisthemost seriousthinkingtrap& rootofdepression
Focusoncoreconcepts
•Unrealisticexpectations
•Rumination
•
drcarolinebuzanko.com121
Needforapproval
Concernaboutmistakes
Doubtsaboutactions
Additionaltrapslike circumstantialthinking, quality/quantity 363 361 362 363
Perfectionism
Helpfulparts
Helpsusstrivefor excellence
BuildProceduralThinking!
Unhelpfulparts
Becomeparalyzed
Procrastinate&create morestress
Stifleslearningand growth
Narrowsourworld
Makesusperformworse
•Striveforexcellence,butaddressunrealisticstandards
•Emotionsrelatedtoexpectations
•Focusonwhat’snext(vs.circumstances,rumination,should’s)
What’s next?
What’s next?
What’s next?
BuildBinaryThinking!
Makesuccesseasierthanfailure
•LowerthebarforACTION&customize confidence
•Focusonwhatwecandoconfidently nowandbuildfromthere
•Setbenchmarksthatareimpossible tomiss
•Objective:Didyoudoityes/no
•NeveraboutHOWitwasdone
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364 365 366
drcarolinebuzanko.com123 Mental Association Pairadifficult situationwith anactionthat hasnever failed 367 Couldvs.Should •Couldisanoption •Getcuriousaboutpast decisions •Getactivewithcurrent decisions 368 TheImportanceof MistakesandFailure Talkaboutyourownmistakesandfailures Talkaboutothers’experiences 367 368 369
Embracingmistakes
Whatwasthisexperiencelike?
Whatdidyoulearnfromthismistake
Whatwillyoudothenexttimeyouareinthissituation?
Whatadvicecanyoutellothersbasedonthis?
Forgingahead
•Avoidgettingstuck
•Noneedtoaskwhy,lecture, orexplaintheproblem
•HaveTHEMthinkofthehows
•Howwilltheyfixthis mistake?
•Howwilltheymoveon?
•Howwilltheyhandle ______________?
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Mistakeoftheday/ HonouraryMistakeWall
370 371 372
Ratherthandeflectfailure,focusonthechild’sroleto learnfromtheexperiencetogrowandimprove
1.Whatwasyourrole?
2.Whatcouldyouhavedonedifferently?
3.Whathaveyoulearned?
4.What’snext?
drcarolinebuzanko.com125 Take accountability forfailureand mistakes
Focuson whoYOU wanttobe. Whodoyouwanttobe? •Thinkingofyoucard Thoughtful•Bringfavouritesnack friend •Reviewclassnoteseveryday •CompleteallassignmentsHardworkingstudent •Dochoresafterhomework Helpful•AskifIcanhelpwithdinner daughter •Sharemychocolatebar Kind•Helpmybrotherwithshooting sister 375 373 374 375
drcarolinebuzanko.com126 Perfectionismdoesn’tworkalone All-or-nothingAl •Never,always,no matterwhat, nothingcanchange, noonelikesme NegativeNellie •Focusonlyon negativewhile missingpositives OvergeneralizingOllie •Believeone experienceisalways goingtohappen again 377 •Youneverdoanything right •Noonelikesyou •Everythingyoudosucks •Youalwaysfailandwill continuetofail Henchmen Guesses •Goodandnotsogood •Thispartishard •Iwillfocusononestepat atime Breakinto parts 378 Allornothing: Ican’tdoanything Ican’twrite Ican brainstorm Icanfollow atemplateIcanedit Mathiseasy Reading:EasyGym:easy 376 377 378
PracticeFlexibility: GetUnstuck
Lookslikeyouramygdala hasgottenstuck
•Whatlittlechangecan help?
•Howcanyoutry somethingdifferent?
***Brainstormtobuild flexibleproblemsolving.
drcarolinebuzanko.com127 379 Outofmycontrol •Outcomes Inmycontrol •Process •AcknowledgehowI did/willprepare •Rules:shouldsand musts •Mustknow,needsto bemyway,yeahbut •Mustknow,needsto bemyway,yeahbut RigidRick
379 380 381
drcarolinebuzanko.com128 PracticeFlexibility:GettingUnstuck PracticeMoving! 382 Sharestories! 382 383 384
drcarolinebuzanko.com129 BeCreative! 385 MIXINGUPTHEDAYFINDTHREEWAYSTO LEARNABOUTATOPIC FINDTHREEWAYSTO SHOWWHATYOUKNOW ABOUTATOPIC Unexpectedeventoftheday&howyouhandledit Brainstormandpracticeoptions IwanttoplayUnobut myfriendwandsto playMonopoly Practicebeingflexible PlayMonopolyfirst thenUno Havefun Playmonopoly instead Havefun Findanewgamewe bothwanttoplay Havefun Refusetoplay anythingbutUno Getstuck Bymyself.Nofun. 385 386 387
Chainofflexibility
•Underestimatesour
drcarolinebuzanko.com130
SUREgoingtohappen
probability
•SomethingbadisFOR
•Confusepossibilityand
abilitytohandleit OverestimatingOscar Remember:It’saninitialguess! Untanglepossibility &probability: JustbecauseitCAN happentodoesn’t meanitWILL. 390 GetObjective withEvidence 388 389 390
drcarolinebuzanko.com131 Situation Possibility 1 Possibility 2 Possibility 3 Possibility 4
PermanentPete 391 392 393
•Youwillalwaysbe likethis.
drcarolinebuzanko.com132 394 Temporary •Icanchangemybrain •Thiswillpass Experiment 395 Howlongdoesitlastinthemoment? Howdoesitchange? WhendoesthehenchmenNOTshowup? •Iknowwhatisgoingto happen(andit’snot pretty) FortunetellingFran 394 395 396
HypothesisTesting
Columbo Approach
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Lotsofexperimentsandexperiences needed!
Howsure?(1-10)? •Wasthehypothesisright?
Whatdidyoulearn? 397 •Iknowwhatothersare thinking(andit’sawful).
•
•
MindreadingMandy
•Guidethemtocreatediscrepancies •Canyoureadeveryone’sminds?
Allthetime?
Witheverything?Orcertain things?
Examples? 397 398 399
•
•
•
drcarolinebuzanko.com134 Columbo 400 Does that mean you suck Allofthetime? Someofthetime? Withallthings? Somethings? Whatisandisnottrueofhumannature? •Worsecasescenario •Completelyawful •Completely unmanageable CatastrophicCam 1510 400 401 402
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Lotsofexperimentsandexperiences needed! •Howsure?(1-10)? •Wasthehypothesisright? •Whatdidyoulearn? 403 Bouncebacks Conduct interviews: Thegood, thebad,the ugly 403 404 405
HypothesisTesting!
drcarolinebuzanko.com136 Challenges Whatwould yourpetsay toyou? 407 ThirdPersonBroadens ourPerspective 408 406 407 408
Imissrollcallandwon’tgetyelled
Consofbelieving
Imissbeingchosenforfunjobs.
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henchmen Prosofbelieving henchmen Icannotgointoclassatthesame timeasmyfriends. Momgetstocomfortmealittle longer. IwillbemorenoticeableifIcome inlate.
atfornotsittingatmydesk.
allthegoodonesaregone.
favourableoutcome? Going Skateboarding withFriends Allthethingsanxietymakes memissouton •Seeingfriends •Sleepovers •Birthdayparties •School •Tryoutsforsports(and thereforesportteams) •Sleepinginownbed •Makingnewfriends 409 410 411
Iamalwayslasttogetabookand
BenefitsCosts Whatisthemost
drcarolinebuzanko.com138 Writeitout! •Iwanttogoontheoutingand havefun,soIamwillingtonot knowwhat’sgoingtohappen •Iwanttobepartoftheplay,so Iamwillingtofeelnervousand gototheaudition •Iwanttoshowmyscience project,soIamwillingtogoto thesciencefairevenifIfeel likeIamgoingtopukeWhatstoryDOyouwantto buyinto?! BuildEpisodic FutureThinkers 413 EpisodicFutureThinkers 414 Depression–hardto seethefuture •Createshopelessness •Nothingwillever change Anxiety–veryvivid.But allscarythings. •Can’tseewhat’s importanttothem. •Needtoseethefuture WITHwhat’s important 412 413 414
FlipReality
drcarolinebuzanko.com139 EpisodicFutureThinkers:20secondsisenough! 415 •Askwhattheyarelookingforwardto •Getdetailed •Draworwriteaboutit •Createguidedvisualizationsbasedontheirresponses Children •Visualizefuturetocreatenewmemories •Buildadetailedscene •Whatisrealthenthatisorisnotrealtoday? •Detectopportunity •WhatdoIwant?HowdoIfeel? Teens&Adults
What’stheopposite? Howdoyoustarttomoveinthatdirection? Imaginingjournals 416 Developpersonalmantras 417 Fallseventimes,getupeight(JapaneseProverb) Onlythosewhodaretofailgreatlycanever achievegreatly(RobertKennedy) Failureistheopportunitytobeginagainmore Intelligently(BenjaminDisraeli) Youmiss100%ofshotsyoudon’ttake. (WayneGretzsky) 415 416 417
•
CopingCards
•
•Iamnotgoingtoletworrygetinmy way.
•Theoutingwillbesomuchfun–thereisnowayIamgoingtomissit!
•Thisworryistemporaryandwillpass.
•
drcarolinebuzanko.com140 418 Thisfeelingisn’tgreat.ButIcanhandleIt. IcanbeanxiousandstilldowhatIneedtodo. Thisistemporary.IwilljustletmybodydoItsthing. Thisisn’tanemergency.Ihavefeltthiswaybeforeand willmakeItthroughagain.
Igotthis.
Iamworriedbutcandoitanyway.
Whatworrysays: 1. 2. 3 420 WhatIamgoingto sayback: 1. 2. 3 CopingCards 418 419 420
Thisismanageable.
drcarolinebuzanko.com141 CopingCard •Anxietyisnormal.Bobisjust beingabully. •Icanbosshimback–Ihave doneitbefore! Mytummyandchesthurt, butthat’sBobtryingtomake meevenmoreworried.It’s notaproblem. •Ican: 421 Lettertoyourfutureself Forwhenyourfutureselfgetsnervous 422 ThepowerofIDon’tKnow 423 421 422 423
Problem solving
drcarolinebuzanko.com142 WhatIknowWhatIdon’tknow Wherewe’re going •Whattime we’releaving WhatIwilleat forlunch Whoisinmy group •Whoour groupleader is WhereIwillsit WhoI’llsitwith •Weather? Whattimewe’ll getback •Wherethe bathroomsare Bugs? •Howmuch walking? Allergicreaction •Snackbreaks Ifthebuswillbe ontime Howbusyit’llbe Howloudit’llbe Helpthembethinkers 425 Independentproblemsolversto figurethingsout Withoutcallsortexts Withoutfakecrutches
Letthemdoit! Nolectures,fixing,orexplaining! Lotsofopportunitiestofigureoutwhatdoes&doesn’t work Kidsneedtoexperience&workthroughdiscomfort Collaboration Brainstormideas Createastep-by-stepplan(&back-up) Pros/cons BreakintopartsHelpful,unhelpful,neutral Self-talk Scaffoldlanguage •Whatwould….do? •Whatworkedbefore? 424 425 426
Problemsolving
Problemsolving: Fearofunknown
•WhatifImissthebus?
•Whatifnoonepicksmeup?
•Whatifsomeoneismean?
•WhatifIhaveanallergicreaction?
•WhatifIgetlost?
•WhatifIamlate? WhatifIhavetogopee?
•WhatifIgethurt?
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427 WHATISTHE PROBLEM? HOWISITSTRESSFUL? WHATHAPPENS? WHATNEEDSTO CHANGE? WHATOUTCOMEDO IWANT? WHATACTIONSARE NEEDED?
428 (Wecan’tknow,soavoidreassurance.) Let’sfigurethatout. 429
427 428 429
Whatcouldyoudo?
Jim’smom getsaflat tire
•WaitwithJim atthewaiting spot
Jim’smom forgetsto pickmeup
•Goto the office
Theoffice islocked •Find the janitor
Can’tfind thejanitor •Walk home
Modelling
•Ifeelfrustrated.Ineedtotakea minutetothinkwhattodonext.
•Canyouhelpmebrainstorm ideas?
•That’satighttimeline.Iamgoing toplanthisout.
•Iamalittlenervous;Ihavenoidea whatwillhappen.Let’sfigurethis out.
StrengthenProblemsolving: FosterCreativity
•Creativeplayandactivities
•Divergentthinking:Findoutofthebox solutions
•Schoolproblems
•Classroomproblems
•Familyproblems
•Individualsituations
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430
431 432
432 430
drcarolinebuzanko.com145 Noideahowitwillworkout. But,Iamgoingtousewhat I’vegottogetthrough. Createopportunities Worriesknowhowtotrick! BarrierstoBuy-In Convincing Excuses •Preparesme •Motivatesme 433 434 435
drcarolinebuzanko.com146 Dare& Defy 90%ofwhatchildrenandteenslearnisfrom whattheyexperience 437 Don’tunderestimatethepowerofthe anxiousemotionalbrain! •Changeisneurological–weneed tochangethebrain •Behavioursaffectemotionsmore effectivelythanthoughtortalking •Brainischangedthrough EXPERIENCES •Can’tthinkortalkourwayto change •Focusonstrength(behaviours) ratherthanweakness(thoughts)! 438 436 437 438
drcarolinebuzanko.com147 Resilience Abilitytoadaptwelltoadversity, trauma,tragedy,threats,oreven significantsourcesofstress. High resilience Interestin schoolEffective problem Assertive Take initiative ResponsibleEmpathetic and trustworthy Realistic Positive outlook Independent Asksforhelp when needed 439 440 441
drcarolinebuzanko.com148 Resilientkids Effectivelyrespondtoandcope witheverydaychallenges -Thisiswherewearegoing! Warning! Avoidplacingtoomuch emphasisontheindividual child. MUSTDOTHINGS DIFFERENTLY! Becomesadisorderwhenwe dowhatanxietywants. 442 443 444
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•
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drcarolinebuzanko.com149 DoThingsDifferently! StartwithResponses 445 Motivation ofEmotions: Our Reactions
Whatdowefocuson?
Whatdowedo?
Dowemovetowardsorawayfromwhat isupsettingus?
Loudorquiet?
Bigorsmall?
Fightorrunaway? Wantsme to Yelland hit Dothe opposite! Wants parentsto Letme stayhome Dothe opposite! Wants teachersto Sendme home Dothe opposite! 447 445 446 447
drcarolinebuzanko.com150 DoThingsDifferently! FaceFears 448 Whenkidsavoidthingstheydon’t feelcomfortablewith,theylose thechancetopracticeandgrow Withavoidance,theyneverlearn! BiasedThoughts •Neverlearn thoughtsare biasedandbad thingsmightnot happen Safetybehaviours•Neverlearn Anxiety strengthened •Worriedthoughtsseem believable 450 448 449 450
drcarolinebuzanko.com151 Facefears…andtheunknown Beingbravebuildsimmunesystemtodevelop copingskills Otherwise,leadstoavoidance Learntoresponddifferentlythrough lotsofexperiences Anxiety Shame Guilt Rejection Disappointment Frustration Self-doubt Becomesogoodatmanagingany emotionthatcomesup. Avoiding Rejection Ingrainedin theBrain 453 Why? 451 452 453
RejectionPractice
Askastoretostayopenanextra30minutesforme
Askastrangertotakeaselfiewithme
Askforabiteofastranger’sfoodatarestaurant
Asktomakeanannouncementovertheloudspeakeratagrocerystore
Askastrangerfor$50
“Anyonewhoisn'tembarrassedof whotheywerelastyearprobablyisn't learningenough.”
AlaindeBotton
“Thewaytogreaterconfidenceisnot toreassureourselvesofourown dignity;it’stocometopeacewithour inevitableridiculousness.”
Practice! BeingRidiculous
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Askfora50%discountatastore 454
Asksomeonefortheircar
456 454 455 456
drcarolinebuzanko.com153 Tolerating Uncertainty Exposure •Talkingnotenoughtochangethebrain! Doingmakesstrongermemories •Doinggivesusexperience WorryMUSTshowupforlearningtohappen •Quickerprogress Setagoalonsomething actionable Fromdoingthat,youare goingtolearnsomething new Withoutanysafetybehavioursorthoughts 457 458 459
drcarolinebuzanko.com154 Createnewpathways 460 Brainworksinaddition Brainworksin addition 460 461 462
drcarolinebuzanko.com155 Learning Opportunities
•
•Theirfearedoutcomesareless likelyorseverethantheythink Anxietyitselfissafe,tolerable, andtemporary
Safetybehavioursarenot neededtotolerateanxietyor tostaysafe
FoundationsofEffectiveExposure Contradictinginformation Maintainingvariableseliminated Generalized •Variablestimuli,contentandcontexts Essentially,BehaviouralExperiments! Wearegoingtobedetectives,orscientists,andgoingtocheckout theseconspiracypredictions 465 463 464 465
•Theycanstilllivelifeanddo anything,evenwhilefeeling anxious!
NoSafetyBehaviours
(It’sonlyanillusionofsafetyanyway)
TheProblemwith SafetyBehaviours
•Worsensanxietybecauseno learningishappening(e.g.,no danger,theycanhandleitontheir own)becauseitwasthebehaviour thatpreventedcatastrophe
•Stilltryingtocontrolanxiety(so neverconfrontfears)
•Effortfulandexhausting(which causesmoreanxietyand dysregulation) Speedofrecovery
drcarolinebuzanko.com156
Allowed!
directlyrelatesto yourwillingness tofeelanxiety 468 466 467 468
drcarolinebuzanko.com157 Iamlearningandstrengtheningmyproblemsolvingbrain Iamretrainingmybrainandresettingmyalarm system IcandowhatIwanttodo Itwillbetemporary Idon’tknowwhatwillhappen. 470 ButIknow howtodeal. Functional Assessment 469 470 471
FunctionalAssessment: Whatmaintainsanxiety?
Antecedents
•Triggers:Situations,stimuliandoverallcontext
•Externalsituationsandstimuli
•Internalbodysensations
•Intrusivethoughts
•Anticipatedfearedconsequences
Consequences
•Safetybehaviours&othermaladaptivecoping strategies
•Everyone’sresponsestoanxiety
Connectionsbetweenthetwo
Important: Don’tassumeyouknow!
•Mustunderstandthethingtheyworry about(fearcue)ANDthemeaningthey givethatthing
•Whatwillhappeniftheyfacetheirworry withoutcomfort,withoutsafetybehaviours
Snakes
TeenageboyCaroline
•Snakemightbepoisonous
•Snakemightbiteme
•IfIgetbit,Iwillgetaninfection inmylimbs
•Allmylimbswillbeamputated
•Lifewillbeover
•Therefore,needtoavoid
•Disgustresponse!
•Needtovomit
•Therefore,needtoavoid
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474
472 473 474
Whatwould beawful aboutthat?
•Kidswill laughatme
Whatwould beawful aboutthat?
•Iwillbe embarrassed
Whatwould beawful aboutthat?
•Kidswon’t likeme
Whatwould beawful aboutthat?
•Kidswill laughatme
Whatwould beawful aboutthat?
•Iwillbe embarrassed
Whatwould beawful aboutthat?
•Kidswon’t likeme
Antecedents(Triggerstoanxiety)
Snakes
Askingsomeonetoplay
Tryingsomethingnew
Sleepingalone
Beinghomealone
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CreateaMenuofFearedSituations&Stimuli 475 476 477
Beingwithunfamiliarpeople Firedrills Storms Readingoutloudinclass
CreateaMenuofFearedSituations&Stimuli
Togetusstarted:OurfocusisonthePROCESSvs.specificfears
Matchsituations,thoughts,and physiologicalexperiences
Whatdotheyhavetolearn? Whatdotheyhavetodotolearn?
Makeitworthwhile:Includethe hardest,scariestthingstheythink arevalidandneedtobeavoided Nomorethan10
Getthick!
•Whatwashappeningrightbefore?
•Whatdiditfeellikeinyourbody?
•Howintense?
•Howlongdiditlast?
•Whatconspiracywasittryingtospin?
•Whatdidyou?
•Whatdidyoudototrytofeelsafe?
•Howhelpfulwasit?
•Whatendeduphappening?Howdidyou feelafter?
Safety behaviours
Habitsthatmaintain anxiety
•Strategiesto control,avoid,or reduceanxiety
•Createa comprehensivelist ofbehaviours& FUNCTIONofthose behaviours
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478 479 480
Safetybehaviours
Howdothesafetybehaviours
•Preventthefearedoutcomefrom happening?
•Work?
Safety behaviours: Canbe
obviousor subtle
Passiveavoidance
•Purposelyavoidingsituationsbasedonpredictions
•Needtoknowwhattheyavoid,whytheyavoid,andhowtheyavoid
Excessivechecking
•Reassuranceseeking
•Ensuringcertaintyofsafety
•Preventativebehaviours–solidifythebeliefthatthesearewhatsavesthem
Overtcompulsions
•Reduceanxietyordanger/Preventfearedoutcomes
•Negativelyreinforced
•Needtoknowwhattheritualsare,triggers,function,whatwillhappenifthey don’t,andhowtheyfeelafter
Covert(mental)compulsions
•Quickattemptstoreduceanxiety
•Relaxation,distraction,positiveaffirmations
Safetysignals
•Makekidsfeelsafer
SafetyBehaviours
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Sitting strategically (e.g.,nearexits) Having someonewith you Carryinga safetyobject Neverletting heartrateget toohigh Havingphone chargedandon atalltimes MedicationsReassurance seeking Checkinggoogle allthetime Havingwater availableatall times Noteating beforeclass Notgoingto school Asking forgivenessPraying 483 481 482 483
drcarolinebuzanko.com162 SafetyBehaviours! Anxietywilllikelybeatits highestwhendoing exposureswithoutsafety behaviors 484 GoalsforExposure: Processvs.Outcome Learningandconfidencevs. anxietyreduction Gettingunstuck FaceFear Without safety behaviours Without theworst thing happening Or,ifitdoes, theycan handleIt 484 485 486
drcarolinebuzanko.com163 GoalforExposure: BuildTolerance 488 Wantscomfort &Certainty Dooppositeof whatitwants! AnxietyDialWillingnessDial 01000100 487 488 489
drcarolinebuzanko.com164 IfIamuncomfortable ThenIknowIamontherighttrack Settingup Exposure Setupthesituation Rationaleandbuy-in Honesty Remindthemhowanxietyworks Collaborateaplan Testitout! Validate&normalize Evaluate Setupthesituation:Collaborate Togethercreateamenu Chooseawidevarietyofthings, includingthespecificissuethey comeinwith Remindthemthefocusisonthe processratherthanthelist,but wewillpracticethroughthelist Theygettochoosewhat theywanttochoose 492 Severalthingscanmakeiteasier orharder,suchas: •Distance,Time,People DoesNOTneedtobeeasiestfirst) 490 491 492
Youarethe expertandI needyour expertise!
Antecedents(Triggerstoanxiety)
Setupthesituation:GetDetailed(Distance)
Antecedents(Triggerstoanxiety)
Seeingapictureofasnake
Thinkingaboutasnake
Someonetalkingaboutasnake SeeingasnakeinItscage
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Wewillputourexpertheadstogethertofigureoutthebestplan.
Sleepingalone Beinghomealone Beingwithunfamiliarpeople Firedrills Storms Readingoutloudinclass
Snakes Askingsomeonetoplay Tryingsomethingnew
MenuofFearedSituations&Stimuli
495
493 494 495
Seeingsomeoneholdingasnakeacrosstheroom Seeingsomeoneholdingasnakeinfrontofme Snakeslitheringonthegroundinfrontofme Touchingthesnakeassomeoneholdsit Holdingthesnakeonmyown
Getdetailed(Time)
GetDetailed(People)
drcarolinebuzanko.com166 Tipsforsuccess 496 Antecedents(Triggerstoanxiety) Walkingbythesnakecage Standingbythesnakecagefor30seconds Standingbythesnakecagefor2minutes Openingthesnakecage Puttingmyhandinthesnakecagefor30seconds Holdingmyhandinthesnakecagefor2minutes Touchingthesnake Holdingthesnakefor30seconds Holdingthesnakefor5minutes
Tipsforsuccess 497 Antecedents(Triggerstoanxiety) Holdingthesnakewiththepetstoremanager Holdingthesnakewiththepetowner Holdingthesnakewithmymom Holdingthesnakewithnooneelsearound
Rateit ActualLater Awfulness Predicted Awfulness Antecedents(Triggerstoanxiety) 50 Walkingbythesnakecage 70 Standingbythesnakecagefor30seconds 70 Standingbythesnakecagefor2minutes 80 Openingthesnakecage 100Puttingmyhandinthesnakecagefor30seconds 100Holdingmyhandinthesnakecagefor2minutes 100 Touchingthesnake 100 Holdingthesnakefor30seconds 100 Holdingthesnakefor5minutes 496 497 498
drcarolinebuzanko.com167 Avoidthetrap! Slowstheprocess&impedesfearextinction •Reinforcethebigdeal •Reinforcetheanxietystory •Lifedoesn’thappeninalinearway Randomapproachfocusingonwhattheyare mostmotivatedtoworkonwillenhancethe process SettingupExposure Rationale& buy-in Setupthe situation •Standingby thesnakecage for30seconds 499 500 501
SettingupExposures
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SettingupExposure: Honesty! Anxietyisuncomfortable& wedon’tknowwhatis goingtohappen •Anxietyisnormal(ofcourse youaregoingtobescared!) Anxietyissafe(it’smeantto protectyou!) Anxietyistemporary(let’ssee howlongthisfeelinglasts) •Youwillhandleit SettingupExposure: Remindhowanxietyworks 502 503 504
SettingupExposure: Collaborateaspecificplan
•Step-by-stepplan
•Iwillentertheroomandgostraighttothesnake cage
•Iwillstandfacingthecagestraightonandlookat thesnake
•OnceIamatthecage,Cindywillstartthetimerfor 30seconds
•Cindywillstandbythedoorwithnooneelse around
•Whenthealarmisdone,Iwillleavetheroomwith Cindy
•Cindyisonlygoingtolookatthetimer.Sheisnot goingtosayanythingexcept,“Timeisup”
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Collaboratea specificplan &rateit
Rateit 0 •EasyPeasy 50 •Hard.Mayor maynotbe abletohandle it. 100 •Impossible! Catastrophic! 505 506 507
drcarolinebuzanko.com170 Rateit ActualLater Awfulness Predicted Awfulness Antecedents(Triggersto anxiety) 70Standingbythesnake cagefor30seconds Predictionsare importantfor learning! 509 Predictwhat willhappen 510 Ipredictthiswill happen Iwillthrowup Thesnakewillbelet loose Thesnakewillbiteme Iwillcry 508 509 510
1.Thenatureofanxiety
•Anxietyisnormal
•Anxietyissafe
•Anxietyistolerable
•Anxietyistemporary
•Youcanhandleitonyourown
•Withoutothers
Withoutothersafetybehaviours
2.Somethingaboutthespecificissue (basedontheirprediction)
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drcarolinebuzanko.com171 PredictwhatIwillLearn 511
somethingnew
Youaregoingtolearn
Ourjobisnottoconvince: Learning happens through experience Theyneedto:
Testtheaccuracyoftheir predictions
Maketheirownconclusions
Createnewexpectations 511 512 513
AddressObstacles
Predict:
Whatwillworrysay?
Howwillyourbodyfeel?
Whatwillworrywantyoutodo?
Whatwillworrywantotherstodo?
Address Obstacles
Ithrowup
•Iwill:bringapapertowelwithmetowipeit up
•Cindywill:
•Keeplookingatthetimerandnotsayanything excepttimeisup
•Helpmecleanitupwhentheexposureisover
Worrymakesmefeeloverwhelmed
•Iwill:
•Bringinmycopingcardstotalkback
•Gotothesnakecageanyway
•Cindywill:keeplookingatthetimerandnot sayanythingexcepttimeisup
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Whatworrysays: 1. 2. 3 516 WhatIamgoingto sayback: 1. 2. 3 CopingCards 514 515 516
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Onlywaytocreatenew experiencesthatcontradict witholdworries Nomatterwhat! •Validate&Normalize •Sticktotheplan Evaluate Learninghappenshereto disconfirmconspiracy 519 517 518 519
Testitout
Evaluate
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EndingExposureSession
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Important!
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ActualLater Awfulness Predicted Awfulness Antecedents(Triggerstoanxiety) 7050 Standingbythesnakecagefor30seconds Ipredictthiswill happen Iwillthrowup Thesnakewillbelet loose Thesnakewillbiteme Iwillcry Whatreallyhappened? Feltnauseabutdidn’t throwup
cage Thesnakedidnothave anycontact Iwasbraveandwalked outwithasmile
Thesnakewasinits
Didthefeared outcomehappen? Yes Didyousurvive? Howmanageable wasit? No Howtolerablewas thedistresswaiting forIttohappen?
Needtosurpassfearedoutcometodisconfirmitasfullyaspossible
Addressanyyeah-but’srightaway
MustlearntheycanhandleANYTHING
Keepingtrackisessential
Mustlearntheycangofurtherthantheworrymadethembelievetheycan
Icanhandleit! 522 Actual Awfulness Predicted Awfulness Antecedents(Triggerstoanxiety) 700 Standingbythesnakecagefor30seconds 520 521 522
Hard Working onIt Success!
Provokeexaggeratedpredictions
•Combinedmultiplefearstimuliinasinglesession
•Moreeffortenhanceslong-termretention
•Maximizeslearningandminimizesanxietyrelapse
Provokeexaggeratedpredictions
Spontaneouslyconfrontthefearof heights,snakes,andelevators(mustall provokethesamefearedoutcome)
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Settingup Exposures
ReasonableRisk
Notabsolutelyrisk-freebut somethingpeopledoeveryday
•Saysomethingstupid
•Dosomethingembarrassing
•Makeamistake
•Sweatinfrontofothers
•Wearsomethingatrocious
•Askacrushout
•Forgettolockthedoor
•Gotothetoiletinpublic
•Walkoutsideonareallywindy day 526
Provokeexaggeratedpredictions
Spontaneouslyconfrontthefearof heights,snakes,andelevators(mustall provokethesamefearedoutcome)
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drcarolinebuzanko.com177 Focusonpairingstoretrainthebrain Activatetogenerate Developnew,competingbraincircuits Buy-in! •Whyarewedoingthis?Howwill itbehelpfulforyou? Howdoesworrygetintheway? 529 530 531
Controlis important
•Signalsofcontrolcankeepourprefrontal cortexonline
•Lackofcontrolsuffocatesourcapacity tocope
•Anotherreasoneliminationdoesn’t work:hopelessness
•Collaborationovertheprocess
•Skillstocreatechoicewhenanxietydoes showup
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532 I.Am. Willing. (Bringit) AnxietyDialWillingnessDial 01000100 532 533 534
Acknowledgingwhensomethingishardandnot pretendingitisn’t Withanhonestappraisal,wecanrespond productively
drcarolinebuzanko.com179 BUT…Fakeit‘tilyoumakeit Doesn’twork 535
RealBravery…
536 NotFearlessness:ChallengestoBeFaced Opportunity Detection Whatarethe opportunities? (vs.threats) 537 535 536 537
Drawontheir resources: Usepastsuccesses
Whatarethingsyouhavealready done/learnedtodo?
•Whatuncertaintywas there?Howdidyouhandle it?
FlipIt
What’stheopposite? Howdoyoustarttomoveinthat direction?
-Whatstepwillyoubemost proudofnextweek?
-Ayearfromnow?
•Iwanttogoontheoutingand havefun,soIamwillingtonot knowwhat’sgoingtohappen
•Iwanttobepartoftheplay,so Iamwillingtofeelnervousand gototheaudition
•Iwanttoshowmyscience project,soIamwillingtogoto thesciencefairevenifIfeel likeIamgoingtopuke
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Usetheirflippedscripts!
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•
drcarolinebuzanko.com181 AnxietyDialWillingnessDial 01000100
Symptomsare aNatural Response
Physical
Butoftenmisinterpretedas dangerous,whichcreatesa positivefeedbackloop Criticalto addressforall
Notjustpanicdisorder
OCD
Socialanxiety
Performanceanxiety
Phobiasetc. 541 542 543
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•
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InteroceptiveExposure:LeanIn!
•Confrontworrisomebodysensations
•Evokethingstheyworryabout
•Learning:Theuncomfortablephysicalsensationsaretolerable, temporary,andnotdangerous.
InteroceptiveExposure
Ultimategoal:Toleratethephysicalsensationswithout beingscaredofthem(andthereforemakingthem worse)
•Newlearning:Iamnothavingaheartattack,lose completecontrol,suffocate
InteroceptiveExposure
Beprepared!Weneedtheirconfidenceinthisprocess
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Hyperventilate/fast breathing(dizziness)
Spininplace(dizziness, nausea)
Wearsomethingtight aroundneck(tightnessin throat)
Breathethroughastraw reallyfast(breathlessness)
•Holdyournose!
Shakeheadfastsideto sideordrawingacircle withyournose(dizziness)
Stareatceilinglightfor1 min.andthentrytoread something(blurredvision)
Jumpingjacks,runonthe spotorupanddownstairs (increasedheartrate)
Stareathandsfor2-3min. (unreality)
Getthemtodowhatever causesthefeelings
Step1: Elicit Symptoms
Trya seriesof exercises and record thedata
Lengthoftime
Thephysicalsensationsthatcome up
Theintensityofthosesensations
Thelevelofdistressexperienced (wewanttorepeattheonesthat aremostdistressing)
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Step2:Exposure
•Pickoneofthemoderate+distressingexercise andrepeatit
•Evokesensationsasintenselyaspossible
•Sustainsensationsbeyondfearedoutcomelimits
•Repeat–especiallywithany“yeahbut’s”
•Nodistractionnoravoidance
•Record
•Lengthoftime&numberofrepetitions
•Sensations
•Intensity
•Levelofdistress
•Assignforhomework!
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Maximize Learning
Combineexposures! (Interoceptiveandsituational)
Teenagerwhowasterrifiedshe’d hurtsomeoneifshefeltpanicky(lots ofnightmares)
•Teenagerterrifiedofhavingapanic attackwhiledrivingandgettinginto anaccident
•Womanterrifiedofturningredin frontofothers 550
MaximizeLearning
Combineexposures! (Interoceptiveandsituational)
•Teenagerwhowasterrifiedshe’dhurtsomeone ifshefeltpanicky(lotsofnightmares)
•Teenagerterrifiedofhavingapanicattackwhile drivingandgettingintoanaccident
•Womanterrifiedofturningredinfrontofothers
•Elicitthephysiological response(e.g.,ofpanic) first
•Thenputthemintothe situation
•Inaroomalonewitha friend Inacardriving Inapresentationinfrontof others
551
MaximizeLearning
•Fearofbeingnauseousingymclass:Spin beforegymclassoreatabigmealandthen runaroundontheplayground
•Fearofsuffocatinginclass:Breathethrougha strawreallyfastandgotoclass(withnowater bottle!)
•Fearofheartracingwithnoonearoundwho knowsCPR:runupanddownthestairsand thengoplaywithfriends
552
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ImaginalExposures
Bestforinternalthoughts,visualizations,andtraumaticmemories causingdistress
ImaginalExposures
•Thinkaboutthem
•Justthoughts!
•Temporary
•Notharmful
•Manageable
•Defusionstrategies
•Reviewtheconspiracystory
•
•
CognitiveFlooding
•Getasanxiousaspossible
•
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•E.g.,repetition,makefunof them
Firstperson Presenttense
•Writeitout
Readitorrecorditand listentoiteveryday
Talkaboutit
Notaboutcontrolling,changing,fixingthe anxiety
•Goforaslongaspossibleorinshorterchunks
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•Tracktheanxiousfeelingeveryfewminutes
•
Helpfultips
•Model
•Don’trush!
•Gooddebrief
•Lotsofminisessionsclosetogether
•
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Whenexposure isdone
Lotsofopportunities
safetybehaviours
•Candoitontheirownwithout
NOTabouttheirsubjective distress!!!! Willingnesstofaceanxiety provokingexperiences!!! WhensomethingbadDOEShappen Whatdidyoulearn!!!??? 556 557 558
Whensomething badDOEShappen
•Yay!
•Importanceofkeepinggoing
WhenAnxietyOverwhelms
DuringaMeltdown
•Remaincalmandneutral
•Createsafety
•Eyelevel
•Soothingtone
•Disengagebutremainclosefor support
CommonObstacles:
•Lackofunderstandingaboutanxietyandwhat maintainsit
•Unclearrationale
•Rationaleirrelevantorweak
•Fusiontounhelpfulthoughts(e.g.,justifications)
•Excessive(e.g.,toobig,skillsorresourceslacking)
•Kidsnotinvolvedinselectingandplanning
•Exposuresaren’tworrying–tooeasy
•Somethingstillmakesthemfeelsafe(yeahbut…)
•Practicesessionstoonarrow
•Responsepreventionimplementedincorrectly
•Focustoomuchonconvincingorreframing
•Nolearninghappening
•Poorrelationship
•Depression
Afterameltdown
•Acknowledgeandpraise
•Validateandempathize
•Ifcalm
•Workthroughit
•Lessonslearned
•Functionofemotion
•Rewindanddoover
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Habituation
Sendingthewrongmessages
•Anxietyisbad(becauseitmustbe reduced)
•Somethingiswrongwithme (becausetheonlywayIwillbefixed isifIdon’tfeelanxious)
•Misinterpretinevitableand normalunexpectedanxiety becomessignsoffailure
•Hopelessness
•Anxietyiscontrollable
•Exposurecanbecomeanother safetysignal
drcarolinebuzanko.com188 Us! Habituation Caneliminateorunlearn Conditionalsafetylearning Reassurance ExposureTraps Us! Theyneedtogetuncomfortable–weneedtogetoverours 563
562 563 564
HabituationFocusonlearning:Feared outcomebeliefscontradicted?Did youhandleit? Whattodoinstead…
associations Createnewlearningpatternsthat competewitholdones
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Whattodoinstead…
Eliminateanxiety&fearful
LearnedFearGeneralizesEasily Learnedsafetyisrelativelycontextdependent 565 566 567
LearnedFearGeneralizesEasily
•Safetylearningaffectedbycontext
•People
•Place
•Time
•Accesstosafetysignals
•Intensityofarousal
IfStuckon Safety Behaviours
•Wewanttoletgooftheseasquickas possible.
•Useonlytobuildmomentumandsuccessif absolutelyneeded
•Doacostbenefitanalysis(e.g.,short-termgain forlong-termpain) 569
ConditionalSafetyLearningLearnnon-danger-based associationsacrosscontextswith differentpeopleandeverywhere anxietycanshowup
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Whattodoinstead…
568 569 570
AdultsBeing
drcarolinebuzanko.com191 Whattodoinstead… Reassure Support Confidence DoThingsDifferently! CapitalizeonNaturalSituations 572
Helpful •Encouragekidstotry newthings,evenwhen scared •Teachkidstobe comfortableintheworld •Thereisnocertainty 571 572 573
BeingHelpful
Challengesarepartoflife. Dealingwiththemispartoflearning thattheycanhandleit
Optimizeteachable moments
•Letthemtry.
•Letthemfail(butdon’tset themupforfailure)
•Letthemtakeaccountability
•Helpthemunderstand other’sperspectives
•Ensuretheyseethe consequencesoftheir behaviours
•Letthemworkthroughnext stepsandhowtofixthings
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•Whatare3thingstheycanstart tomorrow? •Dressonown •Packownbag Runownbath •Makeownbreakfastorlunch •Solvetheirownconflicts •Maketheirownfriends •Checktheirownhomework Fixtheirowncar •Helpfixtheleakyfaucet 575
Givethemthechancetodo,think,be, try,andmakemistakesontheirown.
574 575 576
Embrace mistakes
Havea“Mistakeoftheday”tosharea mistakeorchallengetheyfaced,how theyfixed/handledit,andwhatthey learned
•Usefeedbackstatementsand questionstoanalyzetheproblem andlearnfromit
Embracingmistakes
Whatwasthisexperiencelike?
Whatdidyoulearntoday?
Whatmistakedidyoumakethattaughtyousomething?
Whatdidyoutryhardattoday?
Whatcanyoulearnfromthis?
Whatwillyoudothenexttimeyouareinthissituation?
Whatadvicecanyoutellothersbasedonthis?
Itisnotwhat theydidwrong thatcounts,but whattheydo next.
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577 578
Letthemtake accountabilityfor mistakes
Ratherthandeflectfailure, focusontheirroletolearnfrom theexperiencetogrowand improve
•Whatwasyourrole?
•Whatcouldyouhavedone differently?
•Whathaveyoulearned?
•What’snext?
Forgingahead
•Avoidgettingstuck
•Noneedtoaskwhy,lecture,or explaintheproblem
•Havethemthinkofhows
•Howwilltheyfixthismistake?
•Howwilltheymoveon?
•Howwilltheyhandle ______________(e.g.,theunfair teacherorthenoisychewerbeside thematlunch)?
Askingforhelp
Resilientkidsknowhowtoseek appropriatesupport
Thekeyistoallowthemtodo thingstheyknowhowtodo themselvesbutagreetoprovide appropriatesupportand guidancewhentheyaskforit
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drcarolinebuzanko.com195 OtherImportantNaturalOpportunities!!! Experiencing rejection, failure,and disappointment Without softeningit Taking ownership, eveninunfair situations Circleof influence Makinga difference Withself,with others,with thesituation Trap:Habituation (i.e.,Onlyendingthesessionwhenanxietyisreduced) AnyGuesses? Caneliminate orunlearn 583 584 585
drcarolinebuzanko.com196 Conditionalsafetylearning Conditionedstimulithatserveassafetycues Reassurance DoThingsDifferently! CreateOpportunities: DailyDosesof StressInoculation 586 587 588
drcarolinebuzanko.com197 ResilienceisAbout: CreatingtheRight WorldwiththeRight Experiences Needtobechallenged (togaindirectexperience workingthroughit)
Createchallenges
Challengeoftheday,week,ormonth
Workthroughthingsontheirown–no hints!
Mightgetfrustratedinthemoment but
Theyneedtolearntheyare capable
Theintrinsicrewardoncesolvedis fargreaterthanifsomeonehelped 589 590 591
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•
•
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TakeRisks! 592
Risk-takersadvantage
Exposingkidstoopportunitiesforsomeriskishelpful
•Limitsonscreentime
Learntheskillstheyneedtosurviveearly
•HelpwithImportantevents
Decoratingtheclass
•Eskimoclub
Usingtools
•Planningschoolevents
Opportunities forresilience:
Makingtheir owndecisions
Powerfulidentities
•Learnwhowearebasedonwhatotherstelland valueaboutourselves:Co-creation
•Seethemselvesaspowerfulandrespected
•Kidsfeeltheyhavesomethingtooffertheworld
•Createopportunitiesforkidstoknow themselvesinbetterways
•Spacetoexpressstrengthsanddemonstratethem toothers
•Kidscanmakedecisionsintheirownlives
•Opportunitiestomakedecisionsforthemselves
•Decisionsthatmatter!
Experiencesof powerandcontrol
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592
Createchallenges!
Whoworewhichcolor?
Rachel,LindaandEvewerefriendssittinginacircleonthe grass.
Rachelpassed3chocolatechipcookiestothepersoninblue. Evepassed3macaroonstothepersonwhopassedhercookies tothepersonwearinggreen.
Eachpersonpassed3cookiestothefriendonherleft. Rachel,Linda,andEveweredressedInred,blue,andgreen, butnotnecessarilyinthatorder. Thepersonwhoworegreendidnotgetamacaroon. Thepersonwearingredpassedalong3oatmealcookies.
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LifestyleFocus
Self-guidedexposure
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CommittedAction Notapromiseorhope. Commitmenttobeingthekindof persontheywanttobeanddoing thethingstheywanttodoeven withanxiety. •Ourjobistoensurechildren, teens,andtheirfamilieshavethe toolsandresourcestheyneedto beresilientwithoutus 598
DoThingsDifferently!
Opportunists:Choosingtobeanxiousnowformoresuccesslater
Exposuresonlydoneundersupervisionmore vulnerabletorelapsethanthosewhodoselfguidedexposures 598 599 600
Smash Patterns
drcarolinebuzanko.com201 Self-guidedexposure Exposurehomework Fadingprocedurewithus Promotes Autonomy Confidenceintheirabilitytotolerate anxietyontheirown Workoniteveryday •Focusonwhatskillstheyneedto developspecifically •Problemsolving •Makingmistakes •Askingforhelp •Frustrationtolerance •Persistence 602 Bravery Jar
•Changeitup! Lengthoftime •Distance •Timeofday •Places •People 601 602 603
Smash Patterns
drcarolinebuzanko.com202 Missions You’reonlylimitedbyyourowncreativity! Createthemesfortheweek •Imperfection •Makeaguesswhendon’tknow •Focusonquantityvs.qualityinatimed task •Fastdecisionmaking •Independence •Bookownappointments Buythingsontheirown Orderthefamily’spizza •Talkingtopeople •Askstrangerfortimeordirections •Asksomeonetoplay •Complimentsomeone
•Doopposite •Ofwhatnormallywoulddo Ofwhatworryexpects •Breakworryrules •Createopportunitiesforgreater Independence •Gobeyondcomfort,Besilly! 605 606 604 605 606
drcarolinebuzanko.com203 607 Iamafraidof WhyI shouldtry HowIwillkeepanxietyfromstandingin myway: Willingness ActionPlan Goal: Bigwhy: ThestepsIneedtotake are: Iwilltakethefirststepon(date) at(time) ThediscomfortIam willingtohaveto achievethisgoal: Thoughts Feelings Sensations Urges Icanremindmyselfthat: Strategies Barriers Action Goals WhythisisImportant: 607 608 609
AcknowledgeLearning!
Praisecourageousbehaviour
•Beingbraveiseffortfulandcanbe exhausting!
•Needtokeepthemmotivated
•Reinforceany&signsofwillingnessand flexibility
WhatIcouldn’tdobecause ofworry:
•Gotoschool
•Seefriends
•Askforhelp
Eventhough…. Nevertheless…. Moving
WhatIcandonow:
•Gotoschoolonmyown
•Stayatafriend’shouseonmyown
•Putmyhandupinclass
•Ridethebus
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on
610
612
611
Trauma
•Traumaticmemoriesaretrappedintheamygdala&continuouslyringthealarm
•Amygdalahijacksthebrain
•Brainconnections&integrationdisrupted
•Keyfocus:Promotingbrainintegration
•Emotional&thinkingbrain,left&righthemispheres
Stressis Contagious!
Trauma
•Relationshipisessential
•Manytraumasareinterpersonal
•Traumamostlyaffectstherightbrain,which canimpairemotionalconnectionwith others
•Workingtogethersafelypromotes integration&reducesdissociation
•Focusingoncreatingsafetywithyou&in theirbodies
•Notdonethroughtalking:Listeningandfeeling physically
Needtomanageourownstresssowecanprovide:
•Choice
•Nocontrol=fight/flight
•Context
•Nervoussystem:Isitsafetoengage?Orshutdown?
•Connection
•Fundamentalpriority
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613 614 615
Trauma
•Stoptrauma
•Howareparentsdoing?
•Theirownanxietyandtraumacan getinthewaywithhowthey interactandrespondtotheir children
•Co-regulationimportantmost often
•Rupturesareinevitablebutthey needtoknowhowtorepairthings whentheydo
•Opportunitiesforchildrenand teenstotoleratenegative affect 616
Trauma
•Normalize
•Ofcourseyou’refeeling thisway!Andbehavingthis way!Nowonder...
•Yourbrainandbodyare doingexactlywhatthey shouldbedoing
•Thisisagoodthing–it tellsusweneedtostay present 617
Trauma Embeddedmemoriesinnervous system
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Whenimplicit,wewillneverhaveamemoryofwhathappensthatwecantalk about.Memorybecomespatternsinthebody.
•
drcarolinebuzanko.com207 Trauma Informationprocessingat threelevels (becausetraumamakesitfeel likethetraumaishappening againatallthreelevels) 619 Thoughts Emotions Body Cannotdifferentiatethe pastandpresent •Traumakeepsusfrozenin thepastanddisconnected fromthepresent 620
PresentNow
GettingUnstucktobe
traumaandeverythingitbringsupinthemoment
•EMDRhelpsusstaypresentandmovingthroughthe
Sensorimotorapproacheshelpshiftthebodyoutofthe frozenstateintodefensiveaction Animalsfinishtheirdefensiveactionandreturntoequilibrium 621 619 620 621
Exposure
Stillneedtowakeuptheamygdalatoworkthrough dysregulation
•Bewith&toleratethefeelings,responses,thoughts,& imagesconnectedtothetrauma
•Dropintothebody
•Maintainpresentawareness&keeptheprefrontal cortexonlinetointegratethebrainvs.dissociate
•Interactandrelate
•It’ssafe!
Helpingthe NervousSystem
CreateaNew Responseto
Trauma: Tolerance
•Don’tgetstuckincontent
•It’snotabouttellingstoriesofthepastor tryingtofigureoutexactlywhatahppened
•BUTitcanbehelpfultofindstrengthsfora reparativenarrative
•It’sabouttoleratingwhateveriscomingupfor themnowinthepresentmoment
•Keepingtheprefrontalcortexonline
•Realizing,respondingto,tolerating,& integratingthetraumaticmemory
•Andlearnthatitwillcometoanend
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623 Practice! Realizingwhatis happeningNOW Re-establishconnectionwithsensoryinput 624 622 623 624
drcarolinebuzanko.com209 Findwhateverworksforthem GroundingKit •Mindfulpractices •Lovingkindness •Mantras •5senses •Walkingmeditation •Payingattentionto whatevercomesupinthe environment 625 Distress-tolerancepractices •Icanbewiththediscomfort •It’ssafe 626 Mindfulness&Trauma •Cancorrectepigeneticsand negativeeffectsoftrauma •Reducingstressandoverallarousal levels(butdon’tfocusonthatas theoutcome!) 627 625 626 627
Beflexible!MUSTFOSTERSAFETY!
•Yoga,relaxation,meditation,bodyscans,mindfulpractices,self-compass, lovingkindnesscancausemorepainand/orcreatepanicattacks
•Evenbeingnicecanbetriggering
•Gotowhereissafe
Avoidretriggering
•Gradualprocessofintegratingthoughts,feelings,andbehaviours
•Clashoftimezones:NOW(sopastmightbeplayingoutinthepresent)
•Firstgetusedtomanagingthephysiologicalsensationsthenaddonthoughts wheretheycanaddressthemsafely,fromthepast,now
WindowofTolerance
•Sacredplace(vs.safeplace)
•Howfeelinthebodybeingthere
•Realorimagined
•Nodemandsorexpectations
•Nothreatsorhurt
•Nointrusionsordistractions
•Getdetailed!
•Allsenses
•Getgrounded
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WindowofTolerance
•
•
•
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AttachmentResource
Aperson,animal,orhigherbeing
Gettheminthesacredplaceand imaginingconnectingandbeing withthem
reregulate 631 Recoveryiswhen: You’renotworriedaboutworries Thrive 631 632 633
ANDUS!Tobethere,totolerate thefeelingsandhelpothers
drcarolinebuzanko.com212 634 Worryisstrong •Negative,worrisomeevents createstrongmemories Worrymakesusforget 635 LifeisAboutUpsandDowns (anddownshelpuslearn&getstronger) 636 634 635 636
drcarolinebuzanko.com213 Strategies Barriers Action Goals Beproactive: •Remindhowworryworks •Thosegremlinsareuptotheirusualtricks. •Makingyourforgethowtomanagethis. •Makingyouthinktheworstisgoingtohappen. •Makingyouwanttorunawayandnothaveanyfun. •Tryingtogetstrongerbymakingyouforget. •Sorrydudes,wearegoingtobuildareminderchain. •Linkpastsuccesseswithmanagingworry 639 637 638 639
drcarolinebuzanko.com214 640 Hard Working onIt Success! 641 PillarsofaHealthyLifestyle Exercise Diet Sleep SocialConnection 640 641 642
Exercise!!!
Exercise
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Strengthensthebrain •Chemicalscalmbrain duringstress •Metabolizesstress hormones •Helpsrecoveryand returnbodytorelaxed state 643
•Kidsarenotmeanttositallday •Stretchingandyawningcanreducestress •Exerciseboostsserotoninandmelatonin •Tiresandrelaxesmuscles, •Supportsbodilyprocessesforsleep •Optimizesourabilitytocope •Boostspositivefeelings •Reducesmuscletensionandperceptionofpain •Increasedfeelingsofwell-being •Promotessleep •Stimulatesbraindevelopment •Relievesbuiltupstress 644 Shakeoutenergyintheheatofthemoment 643 644 645
Diet
•Healthygutimportanttoreduce physicalstress
•Sugarandprocessedfoodmaintains highalertandagitatedstate,which createsmorestressinbody
•Alsoinhibitstheneurogenesisandbrain rewiring
•Regulareatingtimeshelpsregulate ourcircadianrhythms
drcarolinebuzanko.com216 Yoga
Dehydrationincreasescortisolandanxiety 648 646 647 648
Powerofwater
SleepTips
•Bestbedtimebasedonwhenneedto wakeup
•Besttowakeuponown
•Samebedandwakeuptimes,even weekends
•Wakeupearlier
•Helpsreduceanxiety
•Getsbodyreadyforbedeasier
•Usethetimeformovementand goodbreakfast
SleepTips
•Optimalenvironment
•DarkandcoolCool
•15-18Celsius(60-65F)
•Bedroomonlyforsleeping,no activities
•Avoidco-sleeping
•Limitstressandconflict
•Positiveactivitiesthroughtheday
Winddownthenight
•Pre-bedtimecalmingroutine45 minutes
•Sameactivitiestohabituatethe bodyforsleep
•Dimlights
•Read,softmusicok
•Gentlestretch
•Reviewofpositives
•Meals&exercise3hoursbefore
•Snack:Proteinandcarb–cottagecheeseor Greekyogurtwithdriedapricots.Turkeyon breadwithmilk.Nococoa.
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Connections •
ReduceHome Stress
drcarolinebuzanko.com218 MinimizeScreentime •Exposuretofearfulimagesandstories •Weakentheirabilitytousetheirbrainpowerto overcomeanxietyandbepresent •Noscreens2-3hoursbeforebed!652
Extensioncords!Identify whoisimportantandwho makesyoufeelgood–nurturethoserelationships
Qualitytime
Socialclubs
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Helpingothers
Familyfun
Avoidoverscheduling
Downtime
Play
Calmmornings
Greentime
Solveconflictsinhealthyways
Routines 652 653 654
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drcarolinebuzanko.com219 FoodCulture Rechargethe brain& Rebootthe relaxation response Learning hasto happenin advance 655 656 657
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Relaxation AsaGroup!
•Mindfulness
•Musclerelaxation
•Deepbreathing
•Mantras(Positiveself-talk)
Mindfulness
•Practice!
•Transitiontimes3x/day
5senses countdown
Mindful walking
Mindful eating
Embedded within activities
•5thingsyousee
•4thingsyoufeel
•3thingsyouhear
•2thingsyousmell
•1thingyouareproudof
•Feelbothfeetontheground.
•Feelshiftingyourweight.
•Feelyourlegswingandmakingcontactwith theground.
•Chocolate
•Thefirst3bitesofeverymeal
•Bathing/showering
•Washinghands
•Writing
Mindfulness
•Create!
•Anyrepetitiveaction
•Chewinggum
•Rollingcoins,sorting rainbowloom
•Experiment!
•Physicalactivities
•Music
•Outdoors
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•Thingsthatarepeaceful 659 660
Modelling
•Noticing
•Lightacandleandgazeattheendoftheday
•Frostontrees
•Raindripping
•Takingmindfulwalkoutside
•Useallyoursensestodrinkcoffeeinthe morning
•Smelllaundry
•Soakupthesun
•Commentingasyoudo
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Walking
Mindful
Teatime! 663 661 662 663
FamilyRituals:
drcarolinebuzanko.com222 Rituals: Danceparty 664 •MondayWelcomeBackor FridayShakeoffthestress •Danceletsgooftension •Fewminutesofmusic;letgoof self-consciousness!!!! •Upbeat •Getjittersout •Shakeyourwholebody Everydayisa NewDay •Wipeawayyesterday •Expectittobeagreatone Letitgoritual •Dailyintention •Example:Imaginewashingaway stresswhenwashhands. Stayfullypresenttofeelthesudsand thewater Mantra–Iamlettinggoallofthe stressandworries.Iamgoingtohave arestfulnight. 666 664 665 666
drcarolinebuzanko.com223 Self-soothing •Play! Music Nature Warmbath Wrapinwarmblanketoutofdryer •Hobbies/crafts •Writingordrawing •Touchstonestorememberto practice •Crystals,rock,mineral–naturalresources 667 CopingBox •Makeittogether! •Colouring •Squishballs •Comics •MadLibs •Copingcards •Bubbles •balloons Progressive MuscleRelaxation 667 668 669
Breathingisimportanttoreset (butisnottreatmentonItsown)
BreatheProactively
•BreatheintoLUNGSthenchest
•Slowlyexhalesayingcueword(e.g., calm,relax,letgo)underbreath
•Exhaleshouldbetwiceaslongas inhale
•Letmusclesgolimpandwarm. Loosenfaceandjawmuscles.
•Remaininrestingposition10-15 seconds
•Iftime,consciouslycount10breathes
BreatheProactively
•Visualization
•Blowinghot chocolate
•4squares
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drcarolinebuzanko.com225 Meditation Visualization GetOutside 673 674 675
MeaningfulActivities
drcarolinebuzanko.com226 Fun Anxietysucksthefunout oflife,whichiseffortful Boost the emotional charge!
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drcarolinebuzanko.com227 https://bit.ly/POTYpodcast https://bit.ly/overpoweringemotions 679